Spider-Man 3 w/ Kulap Vilaysack (HDTGM Matinee)

40m
Kulap Vilaysack (Add To Cart) joins Jason, June and Paul to break down Sam Raimi's Spider-Man 3 starring Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst. The four discuss how the movie is mostly about Mary Jane’s failed Broadway career, all the bad CGI, Peter Parker basically becoming Austin Powers, and how there are simply too many villains. (Originally Released 07/17/2012)

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Transcript

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Spider-Man 1 was good.

Spider-Man 2 was great.

When we heard about Spider-Man 3, we were like, yes, what could possibly go wrong?

Apparently everything.

We saw Spider-Man 3, so you know what that means.

Hello, people of Earth, and welcome to How Did This Get Made?

I am your host, Paul Scheer.

I'm joined, as always, by June Diane Rayfield.

How are you, June?

Good.

How are you, Paul?

And live via satellite or Skype, Jason Manslucas in New York.

Jason, welcome.

What's going on?

Is that what the delay is going to be like?

Get ready, everybody.

Is there a delay?

I can't hear it.

Okay.

Well, it's a little delay.

We'll give you some space on the side of it.

We have a very special guest.

No, it's okay.

It's okay.

One of our favorite people.

She is the co-host of Who Charted.

Please welcome Kulab Vilisak.

Hi, hi.

Hey, what's going on?

Oh, man, guys.

I'm psyched to talk about this movie.

So I brought up Spider-Man 3 because I feel like Spider-Man is out in the theater.

People have to look back about why this movie was rebooted and it all stems from this movie where there are equal parts dancing as there is fighting.

There's just as many dance scenes in this movie as there are full-on fight scenes and that I think is the main core problem of this movie.

And not just dancing but singing.

Like full-on singing numbers.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I don't know if I would say dance scenes as much as I would say like gun dance moves scenes.

Oh, bad dancing, like sexy dance,

like staying alive style John Travolta dancing.

Oh man, I do want to say, like, I know a lot of people's complaints about this movie is there are too many villains.

Yeah, you know, you have

the Green Goblin Son, yeah, here.

You got the Sandman, Marco, and oh, you got it all.

You got

Venom, that's right, and then you got Brock, but you got, but you have two, because it's sort of like Venom is a villain of Peter, and then Brock also is kind of a villain.

I mean, they did a crappy job of explaining that

symbiotic.

Because you know this more and and I would say the fourth or fifth villain in this movie is coincidence because

there is so much movie

yeah there's oh it's I was just gonna say it's as if there's only six people in New York City

It makes no sense.

And they just keep running into each other the whole time.

And it's like, oh, thankfully, Peter Parker was hanging out in the park when the alien symbiote crashed near him and it was able to jump on his bike.

It's not even and that Eddie Brock happened to go into that cathedral, that church while

I realized this, though, about the symbiote.

I don't know from what you speak.

So basically, Brock was not trying to get into that Venom suit.

The Venom suit got into him.

Chose him.

But I have some questions about this Venom suit.

I mean,

it's messed up.

All right, so basically, the symbiote attaches itself to Peter Parker's motor

scooter.

But first of all, the symbiote is an alien.

And that's the other thing is, by the way, guys, there's an alien in this movie.

Yes, who is just goo.

Yeah.

Like the alien is like Terminator Silver Goo.

And then when his professor, Dr.

Connors, tells him about it, he just, it's very blase.

Yes.

This little creature is running around towards Peter, and he's like, hey, don't hang out with that.

Yeah, did you touch anything?

No, I didn't was confused because when the symbiote first gets him, he's in bed in his Spider-Man costume, and it just turns the red costume black.

And then he's able to take that off.

He's sleeping in the red costume on top of his covers.

No idea.

He's warm.

He was like,

he fell asleep listening to the police scanner.

I mean, and by the way, it was days

from when the symbiote first entered Peter Parker's apartment to when he attached himself.

So what was it doing?

It was just hanging out waiting for him to fall asleep.

It was a full hour.

It was a full hour of the movie before, like, a meteorite lands, it attaches itself to Peter Parker's moped,

and then an hour later is like, oh, wait a minute, why don't I just turn his red suit black?

See, maybe it is.

Maybe it had attached itself to other things in the room.

And it didn't work.

And it didn't.

I would like to just bring up another part, another general thought on this one.

How long do you think it was until we saw Spider-Man fighting?

There is one fight scene, but when

do you think?

It's like 40 minutes.

34 minutes and 36 seconds into the movie.

It takes until he is in the Spider-Man.

You see like recaps of it, but until he's in that costume, 34 fucking minutes.

That's a lot of time.

That's a lot of time.

That's like an origin story.

That's bad.

They start off the movie like it's good times for Peter.

Yeah.

It's gross.

He's like as popular as

a peter.

He's like as popular as an ugly Kardashian.

Like he is kind of like...

And everybody, everyone's covering this story.

There's too much love for Spider-Man.

None of the Kardashians are ugly.

Not ugly.

I'm just saying one of the less popular movies.

Who cares?

Like, it's a Spider-Man movie, right?

It's a superhero Spider-Man movie.

Let's get to it.

And it opens with, like, him seeing his girlfriend in a Broadway play.

Oh, yeah, we finally get that finally, that three-minute scene of Mary Jane singing finally in their Spider-Man movie.

We get to see that.

That's fucking God.

By the way, I have a question about that scene because, okay, so later on in the movie, we find out that she didn't do it.

Well, we only know that she didn't do a good job because other people in the audience tell us that.

Well, no, only was she bad?

No, she was good, right?

Wasn't she good?

I thought she was good.

I'm no American Idol.

You guys, we were in the vantage point of Peter, who was in the first row.

Right, the reviewers.

The cameras were set up towards the back.

Her voice was thin.

Her voice didn't carry.

That was her complaint.

Her voice couldn't carry past the front row.

It wasn't she was a bad singer.

She just had projection problems.

So like, that's a real, that's a real fucking terrible way to write.

Like, she's not bad.

She's not bad.

She just can't project.

That's her problem.

That's her fault.

They are, she, no, no.

Guys, you are being way too generous.

She was garbage.

Wait, no, are you talking about the seduction of

the day of

Manhattan Memories, the classics?

If we all saw that, we would be like, shame on you for putting that on stage.

Well, but that's not her fault.

I mean, the Broadway production consisted of like a set of risers and her in a white gown.

Like, there was no production value.

She was also

third-build in that play, and she opened the show.

I don't know, but

she was definitely the lead, but she was always third-build down.

I don't know what Manhattan Memories is, but I would say that.

But I guess what I'm saying, Jason, is I agree the production was horrible, but how are we to know that she was so bad in it?

That's all the real life.

We saw her sing and sort of dance.

She

just have to say, like, she was not.

Oh my God, you are.

you are just too apologetic for gifts and dust.

She could not, she wasn't doing it.

And when she got fired, she walks out and there is a crowd that's clapping.

Why did she think for one second?

It was her!

Oh, that was, that was bizarre.

She visited the theater midday.

Midday she visited and walked out.

Because I guess she's so used to that, is she?

No, on Dead Sears, I don't know the whole thing.

It wouldn't make sense.

Basically, I mean, Peter and Mary Jane have marital problems because Spider-Man's more popular than Mary Jane.

I mean, that's...

And she's jealous of him and his fame.

And then the first half of the movie, it's like the first episode of The Bachelor.

We just keep on meeting bad guys.

Like, oh, here's another one.

Here's another.

Everyone's coming out of the limo.

Uh-oh, who is she?

Who is Spider-Man going to fight?

But I mean, they deal with James Frank.

James Franco in this movie.

Think he's great.

Very talented actor.

I don't know what the fuck is going on in this.

He was Francoing it up, guys.

He is definitely francoing up.

He is at one point in the movie.

He dies.

Early in the movie, he and Spider-Man get in a fight.

He dies, right?

Literally dies.

They bring him back to life, and he is instantaneously horny.

They're bringing him out, like they're bringing him home from the hospital where he was dead.

And he's like, hey, man, do I got a girlfriend?

He has amnesia.

Hey, man, do I have a girlfriend?

Man, I got to get a girlfriend.

Seems like I'm pretty rich.

I could probably get some girls back here, right?

Like, he is just straight up horny.

I do want to talk about the amnesia because the amnesia is very specific.

It's like he doesn't, he lost his short-term memory, so he forgets that Peter Parker killed his dad.

Sure.

But then he also doesn't remember where he lived.

So that would mean that he, like, he clearly has lived in that apartment his whole life.

And it was a major brain injury.

Major brain injury.

It was a very selective brain injury.

And then you can 100% recover if you touch a mirror.

Oh, that is what we learned.

He touched a mirror and then he hurt his father.

And then he remembered everything.

Oh, man.

This is the second time William Dafoe has popped up as a villain.

He came back for this to shoot some extra scenes in the mirror.

Oh, man.

Let's talk about some CGI.

The movie gets like the first and second movie, the CGI are pretty good.

This one, it gets worse.

I mean, the Sandman was so bad.

Sandman, best villain of all time?

Hey, guys,

can I ask a question?

Yeah.

I don't know who is running that lab facility, but why are they doing molecular tests in the middle of the night?

Oh, you mean the hot model scientist lab facility where it's all hot women?

By the way, did you notice that there were hot women like in scenes where they had no business being?

Well, I noticed that toward the very end, and Jason, I do want to hear this point, but toward the very end, there's a scene where J.K.

Simmons is talking to that little girl photographer, and all the press is around.

There's this like tons of press and tons of photographers, and then just a random hot blonde in a fur coat, not a photographer, just there.

Those hot women in the physics center, like it makes no sense at all that they're there.

Well, well, I mean, but maybe it doesn't make any sense because, like, to Jason's point, they're doing molecular tests at what do you think?

What do you say, Jason?

What time was that?

Well, it's the middle of the night, right?

Because the guy,

Thomas Hayden Church has escaped from prison,

he's climbed into his daughter's room, he's been thrown out of that room, he's run and been, now time has passed, now the police are alert.

I'm saying it's like two o'clock in the morning, and they're firing up those molecular tests.

They're like, we're going to start the test now in the middle of the night, and there's no cameras on the test facility, so they can't see what's going on.

They assume it's a bird.

They assume it's a bird.

It's a bird, and it's okay.

And then when he's climbing into over the fence, there's a sign that says particle test facility.

Why would it?

Why is it so specific?

What did it say?

Keep out particle caution.

Why so specific?

It's kind of weird.

I have a, I want to get back to the basics and ask

what time period this is taking place in.

Because up until he got into that particle test facility, it seemed like the Sandman's whole sequence of going home and to his house that was right by the railroad was in like 1947.

And his outfit was like very, oh, brother, where art thou?

Like, it was so weird.

He was in a different time zone.

Well,

that whole storyline, you're right.

Like, even Teresa Russell, who comes out for like one line.

Like, I remember I used to think Teresa Russell was this hot, like, sexy, like Kathleen Turner kind of lady.

And then she's just like, just kind of like

delegated to like one line, just like, get out of here.

She looks like she's like someone woke her up like hey get up get up quick come come in come shoot the scene really quickly um but yeah he i i have a i have a lot of issue with time in this movie mainly because while that's going on peter parker has seen his girlfriend in a show so you would imagine that show started at eight probably ended at ten uh then they went out and hung out in the park for a bit and then he drove her home but whatever and then he goes visit oh yeah

When they're in the park and he's like created a spider web for them to lay in, and this is supposed to be like they are in love.

They have like the chemistry of like

two sacks of wet dog shit.

Like, and that's being nice.

No chemistry between them.

It looks like they don't want to even be together.

They don't want to be next to you.

Toby Maguire also looks like he's a little older than Play the Place, but he doesn't look the fun of it is out of it for him in this movie.

But I had this issue with, so he goes and hangs out with her in the spider web.

They're hanging out.

He drops her off.

And then he goes visits his aunt May and goes to tell her that he wants to marry Mary Jane.

It must be like 2:30 in the morning there, too.

Like, it's like super late to go make a visit to your grandma or your aunt.

She was ready to make some tea.

Well, she came over for one, like, two lines later on in the movie, like, hey, are you okay?

All right, later, you'll be fine.

Like, what?

He went on the subway for that.

So much, so much of this movie.

So, all right.

There's a part when Thomas Aiden Church turns into Sandman, right, and he's running away from whoever, there is a point where he's introduced where he turns and looks straight into the camera.

Yeah, I saw that.

Did anybody else notice this and notice how bizarre it was?

I did not know.

I didn't notice.

I noticed it and it made me feel really weird.

I was like, What is happening?

Why did somebody allow him to do a straight-to-camera take?

Well, I think

he probably wasn't really really on set that much.

I guarantee that Thomas Hayden Church is on this movie three days, Max.

I mean, like, he's never, like, he's always the Sandman.

You see him running and one.

Now, let me ask you about the Sandman, though.

So he can only turn into Sandman when there happens to be sand around.

No, he can only be big.

He can make himself bigger with more sand.

And you know, there's always those trucks full of sand running through New York City.

Kohan.

Trucks of sand.

That says sand on them.

Sand.

But no, but okay, so New New York is the perfect place.

New York is the perfect setting for him to run wild.

Look, it's an island, you guys.

Manhattan's an island.

It works for me.

No, but he can be put out or he can be destroyed by water, right?

Because he just turns into wet sand and

flush.

Yeah, he's not strong.

And

why not?

And then he has to dry out.

But he's strong enough to hold that locket the whole movie.

Yep.

But then he can also be destroyed by fire at the end.

We can be turned into like stone by fire.

Yeah, you know, how they make glass, June.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Okay.

Sand and fire makes glass.

I also had the learning curve was very quick for becoming a sandman.

He literally was, you know, molecularly destroyed, and then he was like, oh, huh, I'm a sandman.

Oh, my arm fell apart.

Oh, now I got it.

No, now I'm not.

Not only did I get it, I'm able to turn into literal flesh and create my t-shirt and pants within a second.

It was sort of like, there was no

crawling.

It was sort of like, oh, I'm sand.

Okay, I'm back.

I'm back now.

Sorry about that.

Shake that off.

It's almost like you would assume he would just be a man made of sand for the rest of the movie, but nope.

He's now going to look exactly like he did before Thomas Aiden Church, wearing a green striped sweat, t-shirt, and jeans.

And I love that he really did commit to that shirt.

He was like, I did like that.

He was on it for one week.

He basically went home and was like, yeah, I remember my stripey shirt.

I like this shirt a lot.

He had to go get that stripey shirt.

That is his outfit on the copper.

Of course,

that is the sandman.

Oh, I'm sorry.

No, sorry.

Source material.

But source material, like.

That shirt is canon.

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Explain to me, though, like, was a Sandman well represented in this movie?

I don't know much about it.

Nobody was well represented.

I mean, the same learning curve goes for Brock.

How did Brock know he gets a Venom suit?

He knows all these things.

Immediately.

Immediately, but the Venom suit on Brock just kind of, like, makes him into an alien.

The Venom suit on Peter is just sort of something he can take on and off.

Yeah, explain those teeth, Brock's teeth.

Why did his teeth go like that?

Brock all of a sudden has like a monster mouth.

No, in the well, that's, I mean, Venom, that's okay.

Well, then they get into a whole different situation where Venom, the symbiote, when it's attached to Peter Parker, it makes him, you know, this kind of in the comics, this dark evil Spider-Man.

And then

give me a cookie.

Yeah.

Yeah, you know, Peter Parker is really.

When the symbiote detaches from him, it becomes

Venom, which is like a classic Spider-Man villain,

which is

it has huge teeth and a crazy tongue.

But it's like

for Brock to have that teeth when he's not, when it's taken off of his face and we just see Topher, it's weird for him to have those teeth.

Oh, that makes no sense.

Yeah.

I have so many.

It also makes no sense that Topher Grace is in this movie.

With that beautiful hair.

Topher Grace is a little bit more.

Is that what Brock's hair is like in the source?

He's a blonde guy.

I do want to talk about Topher Grace's amazing camera and eyesight because there is twice in the movie, once when Brock is like running to a scene where a crane has gone loose at a model shoot.

A model copier shoot.

A model copier shoot.

And

Gwen Stacey is, and she says it later on in the movie, 62 stories in the air.

62 stories.

And without a beat, he looks up and goes, oh, that's Gwen Stacey.

By the way, what fucking eyes do you have?

This is 62 stories.

First scene.

This is his introduction to the movie.

It is minute 35.

He realizes it's Gwen Stacy and he's standing next to her father.

Yeah, oh, yeah.

By the way, I'm dating.

What's happening?

Wait a second.

So Gwen Stacey, because I did just see the new Spider-Man.

So Gwen Stacey is a model now?

That was weird.

That on every level was.

Is she not a model in this list material?

I just want to say so.

Do you remember, Jason, if she was a model?

I don't remember her being a model, no.

And I think this actress, what's her name again?

Bryce Howard, is a gorgeous woman.

Gorgeous.

Gorgeous.

Gorgeous woman.

Not model-esque, though.

No.

No.

She's not like a Jessica Chastain.

Yeah, Jessica Chastestan.

I'm just getting there, right?

They're identical to each other.

Yeah, she's got like more of a Rubinesque figure.

She's got a gorgeous figure.

Sure, so when she's talking about when

I can't believe you just called her fat.

Wow.

I didn't.

I should.

I prefer her body.

That's why they had to hide her behind that copier.

But when she goes up, when Peter's about to ask Mary Jane to marry him, and she goes up and was like, oh, do you have that photo of me and Spider-Man kissing for my portfolio?

By the way.

That's ridiculous.

By the way, she goes, do you have that picture of me and Spider-Man kissing oh uh he doesn't but every newspaper in the city does because it was on it we just passed the newsstand by the way and now we'll talk about that kiss scene so they're giving spider-man the key to the city in this movie and he like he swings down and does that move that he does in like I guess Spider-Man one or two where he like hangs upside down and the audience for no reasons goes kiss him kiss him like this why so basically like yeah like the audience like starts chanting for them to make out for no reason and then Peter's like yeah make out with me.

And they do, which would show you that he was maybe already controlled by the symbiote at that point, or he just.

That's what I thought.

No, that was just pure ego.

No, it hasn't happened yet.

It hasn't happened yet.

He's just a fucking scumbag.

So the fame is getting to his mind.

The fame is getting to understand.

Yeah, okay.

Wow.

All right, there's so much to talk to.

He has like legitimately,

I feel like, as well as a pantheon of villains, there's also kind of three love interests.

there's MJ, Gwen Stacey, and there's the weird Russian girl who lives across the world.

I'm obsessed with Ursula.

Ursula's baking non-stop in the movie.

She's

baking Us.

Oh, by the way, kind of the cutest of the three.

I kind of agree with you.

I googled her to see what she's been in, and not much.

She has like a very Ricky Lindholm, like adorable, cute little face.

All right, so when we last were talking, we were talking about Ursula, who is an interesting character and kind of is our lead-in to this Spider-Man change.

Yeah.

Transformation.

This transformation.

I am mind-boggled.

I am like, I am, I feel like no one, everyone looked at the script and was like, we're shooting this?

Okay, great, yeah.

No, I have no notes.

Like, how did this get past even the first draft?

Because Peter becomes kind of like a 70s cool, like a Dean Market.

It sounds like Austin Power.

Yes.

Literally, I mean, down the street, it's like Austin Power.

And I can't tell you.

I enjoy this.

No, no, no.

I didn't do it.

I enjoyed it.

I hated it when I saw it in the theater.

This go-around, I enjoyed it.

I enjoyed it ironically.

I don't know.

I don't know if I did.

Because he's so dorky, and he's like trying to be cool.

And I enjoyed it.

I do agree with you, though, that it kind of plays on that level where it's like...

It's weird.

It's like he's got this sort of dopey face and so he's doing it and it almost seems like a joke.

yeah i honestly felt thought it was like a comedy

it is sequence yeah he would try he's not cool but but no but that's the thing some women react to him like oh who's this hot guy and then other women like who's that fucking nerd so like i don't know what i don't know what the reality is like because some women like ursula definitely and then there's some women like that one woman who looks up and up and down is like yeah like i can't tell i don't know

why what what he did it has this transformation right it starts with the justin bieber bangs It starts with like weird

weird bangs.

I would also say that

bangs,

when I saw it, and he switches his hair, I felt like he was making a Hitler hairstyle.

Because his hair is so short, he's kind of pushing it down.

I'm like,

what is cool?

And they're like, oh, I got to get that cool Hitler look.

He looked like a mixture of Tom Cruise and Katie Lang.

Yeah.

Cool.

I would content are the same person.

Oh, my God.

And so he starts talking in like this.

Was anybody else?

I also was really puzzled by like he becomes kind of a dick.

Then he's doing his dance.

You know, he's doing his

strutting down the street with his finger guns.

He's giving everybody finger guns.

Like strut, strut, finger guns, finger guns.

Then he goes into a store to buy a black suit, and the doors of the store have multiple signs that say clearance sale.

Why is he in a super cheap suit right now?

What's happening?

I don't understand.

And also, that sequence is like, it's the movie is, I mean, it's not reality, but it's not hyper-reality.

That sequence is hyper-reality.

Yeah, I did think he looked good in that black suit, though, when he came out.

All right, he looks fine.

The issue was the finger guns.

And then when he goes into like the club.

I mean, that's, I will, I will contend that that's horrible.

I'm going to play the clip of him just talking to the girl in the club because you just got to hear his the way he talks cool at Dean Martin.

Here we go.

I hope we can get a table

find us some shade

find us thanks hot legs

thanks

I missed that in my viewing thanks hot legs yeah yeah thanks hot legs oh yeah oh my oh guys I'm gonna use that to get into comic parties

funny I do have a theory though that the alien symbiote came from like the 1940s the alien that he's being the alien is kind of obvious.

He's like, oh, we did research.

The rat pack is big.

The alien is old.

I mean, like, he's like in this world and he's can be a great dancer.

And amazing piano player.

Amazing.

Amazing.

Oh, man.

Oh, my God.

Now, dig on the list.

Yes.

Can just play piano.

Yes.

Yes.

But yet he's still Jared.

Like, he still wants to get back at Mary Jane.

Like, he should just be fucking at this point.

Like, I mean, that's what they want him to do, but he's not.

Like, he's still kind of like got that Peter energy.

I'm gonna put you on, nephew.

All right, um.

Welcome to McDonald's.

Can I take your order?

Miss, I've been hitting up McDonald's for years.

Now it's back.

We need snack raps.

What's a snack rap?

It's the return of something great.

Snackrap is back.

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Oh, you know, we haven't talked about

the omelette dance party.

Oh, gosh.

Guys, what was that?

That was so uncomfortable.

So James Franco decides that now I guess he's going to be or Mary Jane's like well, you know, Peter is he's too much wrapped up in Spider-Man.

I'm going to start hanging out with

with James Franco's character and then they go and make omelettes together and have an omelette dance party.

Chubby checkers, the twist.

That is

watching this.

Who is making this movie?

Like the twist?

Why is this this movie is so bizarrely old-timey.

That's what I'm saying, you guys.

I think that, like, there were two scripts, and one was an old-timey script, and one was a current script, and they could not decide.

Shoved them, shoved it together.

Seriously, because there's a lot of old-timey stuff in here.

Oh, you know what?

There was one thing in there, and this just reminded me of old-timey.

Like, when they're in the newspaper headquarters, that definitely looks old-timey.

It's so old-timey.

And J.K.

Simmons is playing it that way.

Yeah, and J.K.

Simmons is like the best part of this whole movie.

Him and Bruce Campbell.

Bruce Campbell, amazing, too.

But behind J.K.

Simmons' desk, they have like giant-framed covers of the newspapers, like the classic ones.

But the one that they have up that is the worst, it goes,

Doc Ox, still at large.

That was the one that they framed.

It was like, I just thought that was just a dumb thing.

It's not even a great picture.

It's not that they broke a story.

It was just sort of like, this thing is still happening.

It was like, yeah, frame that one.

Frame that one guy.

What was going on with his horrible like operation game table that

Elizabeth Banks would keep buzzing?

Because he has high blood pressure, right?

Wait, was that Elizabeth Banks or Perker Posey?

That was Elizabeth Banks.

Elizabeth Banks.

Who was great?

She was hilarious.

She was great.

Yeah.

I kept thinking it was Perker Posey.

Oh, no.

Banksy.

Oh, Banksy, guys.

Wait, it was the street artist Banksy?

Yeah, yes.

In an Elizabeth Banks costume.

A venom Elizabeth Banks costume.

Oh, wait.

Can we talk about this for a second?

Remember when, I know I spoke about this a little bit earlier, when James Franco died in the movie?

yeah right yeah yeah okay so he's dead he's like literally dead they bring him to the hospital the doctor comes out and says he's gonna be okay or no no he's gonna be okay but he has amnesia he doesn't remember anything mj shows up she and peter are like walking out and mj just goes i think he's gonna be fine yeah oh yeah so

based on what he was literally dead an hour ago uh i think he's gonna be fine so what

he's definitely not gonna be fine.

By the way,

I don't understand also, no one gets hurt in this movie.

Is Peter Parker?

I don't remember this from the comic, but Peter Parker, is he invulnerable to anything?

Because they literally throw him up against the moving subway, through buildings, no scratch.

So much debris.

They create so much falling debris from the sky that thousands of people on the ground in New York City must have died during these battles.

Like, like at one point, Hobgoblin and

Spider-Man are having a fight a giant chunk of a building falls off and like fall just falls to the ground and i and you you so many people must not be dying it's crazy and oddly like never marry jane because she is constantly falling oh yeah

constantly a lot of women like dangling from 60 stories and above oh

also when they do trap mary jane in a giant spider web of uh of a taxicab caught in a giant spider web i love that the bad guys had to write on it and i wrote this down uh like

Spider-Man, stop us if you can.

You don't think he's going to get the message that there's a giant spider web and his girlfriend's going to go?

They have to also spell it out in the web.

Like, we've got to make sure.

We've got to make sure he knows.

There was a lot of strange exposition in the late second act with that reporter basically just narrating what was happening.

Like, all

that English reporter?

Yeah, he was.

With

KTLA as Hal Fishman.

Oh, yeah.

Which makes sense because in New York.

And so basically, you know, for most of the, so in the beginning of the movie, James Franco hates Spider-Man, then he gets amnesia, then he likes him, then he remembers, then he hates him again, and then at the end, he likes him again.

And

this is

one of my favorite parts of the movie because basically, there's no way to bring these two characters together.

Like, it's like...

James Franco's like, you killed my father, Spider-Man.

I hate you.

You're a terrible person.

Fuck you.

And you think, well, they're never going to see I die.

Clearly, Spider-Man didn't do it until this man man came can we play that clip

if I may sir

I've seen things in this house I've never spoken of

what are you trying to tell me

the night your father died

I cleaned his wound

the blade that pierced his body

came from his glider.

I know you're trying to defend your father's honor, but there's no question

that he died by his own hand.

I loved your father

as I have loved you, Harry.

All right, so basically,

friends love you.

So basically,

he clears it all up.

Thank God the butler came in and now finally told him this.

Like, the butler knew this all along, right?

Well, but I think the butler had that sort of like old-timey reverence as a butler of like I'm not gonna get into these conversations I'm I don't see it that's a big conversation to avoid I feel like Alfred gets into it with that a lot

get a little bit more involved get a little bit more involved when when you're when you're a person who's

butler was living in like 1862

his own time period maybe he's just an older actor that butler was terrible that was some of the worst acting i've ever seen uh if you get the blu-ray

in the DVD extras, he is part of the blooper reel.

The butler.

The butler is, and wherein he just is like, he's just an older man.

Oh, dear God.

Couldn't get the one.

Yeah, he's just like, and the cannon, the blade.

The blade.

He'll put that on a blooper reel.

It's like, this is an older actor struggling.

Yeah, he approved it.

Also, I want to point out that in that scene when Spider-Man and James Franco fight,

the hovercraft is kind of looks like it hooked up by

a USB cord to a computer.

Just like levitating by a cord and it gets unleashed.

Yeah, I gotta charge my hoverboard.

He might as well be riding a hoverboard from Back to the Future 3.

Right.

Yeah, it really is.

It looks just like that.

Yeah, it's the same exact thing.

By the way, well, this brings up, like, yeah, like,

I think another thing is like, it's cool.

People like snowboards, right?

Oh, man.

Those little fireballs came in handy a couple times.

Who is this?

Like, who is this movie for?

You know, because, like, it's not really kidsy enough to be like a Spider-Man kids movie.

Because then

there's so many weird triangulating love stories happening that make no sense.

There's like 20 minutes between every action sequence.

This movie is a fucking disaster zone.

I mean, so angry that Spider-Man doesn't show up in costume for like 40 minutes.

And when he does fight, he's fighting a lot out of costume.

Yeah, and it did have that feeling of just like Spider-Man aging a bit and just sort of dealing with some

real life issues.

Some real life issues.

This whole movie feels like it was put together by like tape and like glue.

It's like, I mean, because even to defeat, to defeat these villains, like, oh, Venom hates bells.

The vibrations.

Like, oh, vibrations.

Yeah.

Oh, is that what it is?

I thought he hate bells because they're like, oh, the church.

And they're like, ding.

Why does Venom hate?

Why does he hate vibrations?

I mean, we're not from their world.

Is that real?

I mean, from the book, I just thought from the book, maybe it would be in there.

Imagine you're a child.

You love Spider-Man.

You go to Spider-Man 3, and half of the movie is dedicated to Mary Jane's failed Broadway career.

You're right.

If you read that as a comic book,

that's never part of the comic book.

is on what planet?

It's like he's

with somebody like, you know what would be good here is if we fused a Spider-Man story with a chorus line.

And by the way, though, that's such an unsympathetic storyline for her.

Like, we're supposed to care that she didn't survive on Broadway.

Like, it's very kind of like

looking at the reviews online, everyone's like, I hate Mary Jane.

She's a bitch.

Like, I mean, people really go after her, but I think that's because, like, she's like getting in Spider-Man's way or dumb career like people do not want to hear that immediately kisses Harry like for

yeah

that's tough that's tough so many dumb things in this movie so I mean gosh but that is hardy just even source material wise MJ's not a great character yeah but she's like a second I mean she's like a second lead in this yeah and Gwen Stacey is a better character in the books yes why because she it seems like from the Spider-Man we just saw she's more sort of into

chemistry and knowledge and all that stuff, right?

Got it, June.

Chemistry and knowledge and stuff.

Well, no, but seriously,

that's why I was upset that she was a model in this one.

Yeah, it's like Mary Jane's an actress.

Like, it seemed like she, Gwen Stacey, had more to offer Spider-Man.

Oh, yeah.

In the bookstore.

Don't get me started on Black Cat.

Oh, Black Cat.

That's right.

When did they bring Black Cat?

It's because Cat Woman was so bad, so they weren't going to to bring her up.

Oh, boy, oh, boy.

Well, nerds.

Obviously, we did not like this movie.

All right, so these are reviews called on Amazon.

Normally, we're able to find some very fun reviews, five-star reviews.

This time, it was a little harder because the staunch fans were really staunch fans.

But these are some of my favorite five-star reviews from Amazon.

This is from Marcus Schelbendlisman.

Don't know how.

It's really confusing looking.

From St.

Louis, Missouri.

This is a lot different than the other two.

When Peter gets a new black suit, he acts funny, but I enjoyed it.

Five stars.

Okay.

All right.

Fair enough.

I also like the black suit on it.

And then this is from Jay, my favorite review of all time.

In Spider-Man 3, Spider-Man fights a sandman.

Spider-Man gets the black suit and fights a sandman in the sewer.

The sandman turns to mud.

Peter fights Harry with the black suit.

Harry throws a goblin bomb at Peter.

Peter dodges it and throws it back at Harry.

And his half of his face blows up.

Harry and Spider-Man fight Venom and Sandman.

Harry defeats the Sandman.

Harry saves Spider-Man and dies from Blade, from Venom.

Spider-Man throws Goblin Ball at the black suit.

The end.

A must-see movie.

Five stars.

One of my favorite, favorite things.

Now, Kulop,

we all saw the new Spider-Man.

Did you see the new Spider-Man, Jason?

I did not.

Okay, so Kulop and I were talking the other night, and I said, well, I like this new Spider-Man way better than Spider-Man 3.

And Kulop's like, I don't agree with that.

So now, after re-watching it, I still like Spider-Man 3 over the amazing Spider-Man.

My review for Spider-Man 3 would be that.

It would be like, Spider-Man 3,

two stars.

Not great.

But future, in the future, I will like it way more than the amazing Spider-Man.

I disagree.

I disagree.

Wow, Club.

Yeah,

I think the actors in The Amazing Spider-Man are great.

I think the story is so boring and long, and there's nothing.

No, you're right.

But again, I know.

This movie is nine hours long.

It was really long, you guys.

It was really long.

I feel like there was more things happening in this movie.

And I know that's also its detriment.

Yes, because you said to me, you said to me, well, name one scene that you like from The Amazing Spider-Man.

And then I watch this and I'm like, I can't name a scene from this movie that I really liked.

I would prefer to watch it.

I like the emotional.

And as crappy as this was, and as you guys said, it's patchworked, I think the emotional story is way more interesting for me.

And in the flashbacks, when Uncle Ben dies in Spider-Man 3, that was more meaningful to me.

In that horrible Spider-Man 3 than the new movie.

The new movie, I felt nothing.

Do you agree with Kool-Op?

Tweeted us.

Tell us what you think.

Tweet at Kool-Op Tweeted Us.

Find out.

Would you guys recommend watching this movie?

I think I would because it's fun.

Just for the bad, the Venom sequence alone, it's pretty good.

Yeah, for the dance scene and the finger guns, it's pretty good.

To be a completionist, you guys.

Come on, you gotta watch them watch it.

I would watch the first two first.

I wouldn't watch it just to watch it.

I would watch the first two and then watch this because in juxtaposition, you will truly appreciate what a bag of shit this is.

Yeah, if you saw this as the first one, you'd be like, oh, this sucks.

But to see the fall from Grace, it's pretty amazing.

I haven't seen the first two.

Yeah, what did you think in watching only The Amazing Spider-Man and this?

I really liked The Amazing Spider-Man.

And then what did you think of this?

I thought this was insane.

Yeah.

Did you like the chemistry between Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone more than Toby McGuire?

100%.

I would agree.

God, I thought their chemistry was like off the charts.

Well, because they really are in love.

Well, they have your chemistry because the guys, they're really in love.

They love each other.

All right, so this is another episode of How Does Get Made.

Let's plug some stuff.

I am at Paul Sheare on Twitter.

At Miss June Diane.

At Cool Up.

Just ask.

Not on Twitter, guys.

Not on Twitter.

You know, Jason, someone recommended that

you save the name at not on Twitter.

And so

you should do that.

Or someone should do that as you.

A big shout-out.

Now I'm sure somebody will.

A big shout-out to Elizabeth Berry.

She gave some big-time money to how this get made.

$100.

Wow.

That is going to go to something.

I don't know, but we we keep it going here.

We thank you so much.

Dave Steffi, who pulls our clips every week, Cody, who's doing all of our engineering, all the great people here.

Uh, Caroline over at Earwolf, thank you so much for listening.

We'll be back soon.

I hope.

All right, uh, bye-bye.

I'm gonna put you on, nephew.

All right, um, welcome to McDonald's.

Can I take your order?

Miss, I've been hitting up McDonald's for years.

Now it's back.

We need snack wraps.

What's a snack wrap?

It's the return of something great.

Snack wrap is back.

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