xXx: Return of Xander Cage LIVE! w/ Adam Scott (HDTGM Matinee)

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and it too is based on a true story like hidden figures

we saw the return of the extreme james bond triple x the return of xander cage so you know what that means

How we staying alive? They call it in the badass and he's on the line. Cranking 88 minutes cause they cool as ice.
Cause of bad Jim Barney looking kind and nice. Paul and June getting literal.

Jason is getting laid. June is making sure all the monkey shots getting paid.
They judge a bunch of movies while they're making the grade. Here's a real question for you: how did this get made?

We are live here in Los Angeles at our favorite place, Largo. If you're ever in LA, come, come see a show here at Largo at the Coronet.
We have a great show for you tonight.

It is The Return of Xander Cage.

A movie that doesn't even use a number because it's trying to ignore that there was a second one.

It is the third in a series that does not acknowledge that there were any before.

To join me tonight to dissect this amazing piece of film is the one, the only Jason Manzukes!

What

a jerks!

Welcome, welcome, Jason. Paul, I saw this movie today.

I was talking to the audience you must have driven far to go see it right I went to Burbank so let me see all right

I went to Burbank

it was Wowzerinos

way more people than I thought would be there and they did not appreciate me laughing

I

I was in fact shushed

alone I if you're wondering

I saw this film in an empty theater

on a Tuesday night. I laughed so hard,

like

gut belly laugh.

Like, like, holy shit.

I haven't had that experience. I felt like Robert De Niro and Cape Feeder.
I could, yeah.

Which I 100% get. Yes.
Because you also got to the theater underneath someone's car. Oh,

I gotta save my gas money, right? This economy, this economy.

I would do this movie every month for a year.

It should never be enough.

Please also welcome my other co-host, the lovely, the talented June Diane Rapio.

Welcome.

Welcome, June. Hi, Paul.
How are you? Good.

We spoke today. I saw you earlier today.

A peek behind the curtain.

And

you are a little nervous because we saw this movie on Tuesday. Yeah, so I don't remember

being...

I brought my phone out because I...

I took notes in the theater. I hate when people take their phones out in the theater.
You're the only ones there. We're the only ones there.

And

only realized, oh, I'm going to go back to those notes and really have an understanding of what happened. And

I feel like I've forgotten more after reading them.

Because

we try to time this podcast out so almost the minute the movie ends, you're in a car going to record.

Because it is leaving you. You're watching it in the car.
Yeah. It is leaving you.
It's like memento. It is coming, it's going out.

This movie,

As I'm watching it, I'm forgetting it. It's the craziest experience where June just found out while you were introing the show that there was a second Triple X.
I had no idea. I thought this was

her mind was blown, which, because I was like, well, dude, did you understand that's why Ice Cube came in? And she was like, no. No.
No, no, no, no, no.

Paul said, when Ice Cube came in at the end, Paul said to me, oh, he was in the other movie. So I just assumed that was the first.
I thought this was the return.

Oh, okay. I see what you're saying.
So you're kind of the perfect Vin Diesel audience member because you just disregarded the second one entirely. Yeah, well, I had never seen it.

I mean, or maybe I have. Who knows?

Who can say?

I did feel though when we were. That's the title of your memoirs, right? Who can say? Who can say? I did feel when we were in that theater, we had a really terrible.

What I do remember about this night was the theater going experience that we had well it was a pretty bad one yeah we don't really

we could yeah let's lay it down yeah you know what what i realized

tonight was that i think we had a bad experience at this theater and i'm not gonna name it okay but it wasn't great it's like one of those places where they serve you food and liquor but they don't serve you food and liquor but there was nobody there literally to serve us like literally there wasn't a single person in the theater you had to leave were you encouraged to get your own you had to leave the theater and go across the street.

You had to go outside in the rain.

A beverage.

It was insane. The guy ran the bar, and then he was like, well, do you need help carrying up these beverages and snacks?

Whatever. There are bigger problems in the world right now, you guys.
But I will say,

I recognize that. But I will say, I walked into the theater thinking, I got to get water.
I got to get water immediately. And the server is going to be over any minute.
No server.

No server ever arrived. You were worried about your mouth having enough moisture to water at the sight of Vin Diesel.

Were you like, I know I'm going to see a real hunk, so I got to have that. That was great.
And I enjoyed him.

I really did.

But then I realized it was a terrible theater-going experience, but then I realized it was actually payback for a theater-going experience we had, I think, in that theater, where we ate a plate of sushi at a screening of House Bunny.

What are you talking about?

What are you even talking about? Because you're telling me

sushi. No, I'm saying

a movie theater.

We sat with a back row. That's like light-aid sushi.
That's like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it wasn't served at the place. It was

a bad place. But we brought it.
Oh, and we brought it. Okay, okay.
I thought it was like sushi. You can get like

a pup burger or sushi. No, no, no.

We were more disgusting in the fact that we brought in hot food and weird food and we're eating it and smells are coming out of the back of the house bunny theater.

Now, there were many people in the theater, but I've lived with that shame for many, many years. Do you feel better?

No, but when that happened with the whole water situation at Return of Sander Cage, where I had a sip of water all day, again, so many bigger problems right now. Oh, but your hydration is

a sip of water all day. I don't think I have.
Are you one of the best? We have nine swell bottles in our house.

No, they're all the big ones. They're all the jug, like the ones that don't fit.
We're getting you guys have have a lot of double-walled water bottles.

Anyway, I think that I've done my penance and the house bunny situation. I've done my mic penance and the house bunny situation is, you know, I'm absolved of it.
All right.

Well, we do have another guest.

By the way, though, if one of the recurring segments is how is the movie theater you saw this in,

I'm not upset with it. People are always begging us to do movies that are in the theater.
Well, this is, you're gonna hear this now.

I love seeing movies in the theater.

I really do. I'm really ashamed of what happened at House Bunny.
Oh, I really

is also a while ago. It was

carried this for this long. Yes.

Like, like, free yourself. Sorry.
Well, you got you are free. No, no.

Because this movie bears so much similarity to Fast and the Furious.

We have brought an expert

in Vendeezo. Please welcome from the upcoming HBO show, Big Little Lies, from the current show on Netflix, Michael Bolton's big sexy Valentine's Day special.

And you can see him on season one of the good place, Adam Scott.

It's good to have this family back together. Sure is.
I want to hear more about this movie theater where you have to cross the street to get a Coke. That sounds awesome.

It really, it was like they were trying to go for the Alamo draft house, but instead they're going bankrupt.

Were they like, we honestly did not think anybody was coming tonight because of this movie? No, like,

there is not a single person there, and there was one guy, one guy manning the bar, and he seemed surprised to see us.

Okay, what Paul says there's not a single person there. He means not just in the theater we saw it at, in the entire movie theater.
We walked into a ghost town. Like eight.

There was not a single person there.

And they did a weird thing, like, you know, when you walk in the theater, they have like posters of all the movies, but like the poster for this wasn't high enough resolution, so it was like really like pixelated.

What? And I've never even seen the poster that they had. It was like,

it was real like low level.

Were all eight screens showing Triple X?

Yeah, they were like. If I were in that company, they would be.

I agree with Jason. I would watch this movie again

right now. Oh, yeah.

So let's do it. Yep.
Roll it.

No, this is a definitely. You can come straight out and say, I fucking had a great time watching this movie.

This is, to me, like a thank God this got made here. Yeah.
Awesome. It essentially is Vin Diesel fanfic written by Vin Diesel.

Yeah.

It feels, looks, and sounds like it was made up as it went along. Yes.

And the return of Xander Cage, meaning he just skipped the middle one. And he did the same thing with Fest and Fierce.
That means he's created a sub-genre of multi-billion dollar franchises.

Well, not in this case, but

franchises that he skips over one movie because he thinks he's too awesome, but then comes back to it.

He's never has stepped away from Riddick, has he?

No. He will.
But you know what?

He's always like, I'm going to let this one rest. I will say, while not a success here in the United States, this is why Vin Diesel is a genius.

He casts it with one giant celebrity from every continent.

So the movie does become successful. It was 80.
I knew that Penguin was in it for a reason.

It was 80.

I mean, they haven't done a movie since then.

I student really liked that.

It was made for $85 million, but already made $131 million. It's like, it is a worldwide movie.
That doesn't surprise me.

Yeah, it's the number one movie in the world, just not here in the continental United States.

Everyone here was like, fuck that. No, sorry.
Oh,

this movie makes like $280 million.

Internationally, it's going to be massive.

Well, yeah, because they have the cameo from the soccer star at the beginning, and then like seven minutes later, another reference to soccer and how awesome it is.

I'm like, oh, this is for the world. This is

his entire team. There's no one on his team really that is American at all.
He is the only guy.

And I bet you if you cornered him, he'd say he's not American either, just because he likes to keep the allure up about himself.

Well, I like him to keep that allure up. I don't know about you.
Me too.

I love him. Well, I love him.
Is what you just said? Like, love.

I mean, I don't know. I think he's very sexy.

What? No?

Yeah. I've met him before.
So does he.

Yeah. I think he's a very sexy guy.
In the world of June, arguably, it would be me, Ernest, and

Ben Diesel as your top three.

Yeah.

How many Ernest movies have you guys done? One. Oh, you just did one.
I think it just was. We should revisit.

I don't know if Jim could handle it.

Well, no, the only Ernest I like is

evil Earnest, yeah.

I think that may be a trope of every Earnest movie. I think there might be an evil version of it.
The crazy thing about the opening of this movie is

when I saw him flying down the hills on skateboards and such

he

how is he on a skateboard he's

it doesn't seem physically impossible possible for him to skateboard

how yeah

they put his face on a person's skateboard what what that's what in my notes I have a note here that says

can Vin do any of these things

because he's he jumps off of a tower and he has skis on lands on a hillside not snow

jungle jungle jungle and skis down a mountain there are poles right yeah right where he lands the spot where he lands so he can grab the poles and go

I was actually thinking to myself I was like the thing that's so funny about that is picturing him like in the jungle before he did this going put the poles

here

and then

yeah this is the place

him doing all of these things is absolutely impossible and i and i like i wrote that down too i was like i i feel like if you said vin diesel's never driven a motorcycle i'd be like yeah i've totally i believe

never been near one at all but it's funny that he is like associated himself as like the extreme sports star yeah but doesn't do any of that. Nothing.
No. Bizarre.

My favorite scene is coming up right in the top of the movie, which is where he, I thought, met his girlfriend, but apparently it seems to be a stranger. Yep.

Yep. Somebody bones, and then it's like, you can have that shirt, baby.

And then it's like, I don't know,

four minutes into the introduction of his character, and he is fucking. Yes.

But then, okay, so let me ask you this. This is my thing.

Let me ask you this, because I felt this way, because then he fucks that woman, and then Tony Colette comes and is like, you got to come back to Triple X. And he's like, like, fine, I'm in.

And then they go, and then he's flirting with

Nina Dobrev, I guess. And I'm like, hey, man, don't you have a girlfriend? He doesn't.
No.

I was like, oh, man, don't be such a dick to your girlfriend. Well, when you find out that Vin Diesel is doing all this extreme sports stuff just to bring soccer to a small island of villagers,

island of villagers? Yeah.

Salt mine. We measure this grouping of villages as an island.

But like, he

basically the girl's like, great job. And you're like, oh, they know each other.
You don't. And that's the thing.
It's like, and it's...

I felt like they knew each other, but she was his island gal.

And that he can't be tied down, you know? But then he leaves her a skateboard with a note on it that says, don't hurt yourself. Don't fall.
Don't fall. I assume don't fall for me.
Don't fall in love.

Don't fall for me.

I thought.

I don't know. Maybe he's not that smart.

he was I thought he was literally like don't fall I thought it was like here the first rule of skateboarding don't fall yeah like and no no because no subtext this movie is no subtext all text

and and I will underline it with my favorite scene in the movie which is when Vin Diesel comes in this movie you cut to a salt plant where like salt is coming out of a tractor

couple of

very vocal audience members like yes

it just confirms for once and for all that Vin Diesel shoots salt out of his penis.

Can you imagine

just burning their vagina? Someone came inside you and it just was rock salt.

Like what you would put out after an ice storm is what they were like, we'll cut to that.

I just also love, it's not even like sexy or romantic, just a salt. Just like a

solid white dump. Like super dusty and dry and shitty.

I'm gonna drop a bunch of particles on you.

I'm gonna fill you full of crystal.

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Does anyone else think that the like?

I don't remember the first one super well so I didn't know if did the first one the Vin Diesel one have this like weird comedy tone they were trying to I don't think

this definitely

it was a lot of like that Vin Diesel smirk where it was like like some he walks out of a restaurant some guy throws him his keys he's like park it for me and he's like

and then he like just takes the Ferrari and like drives off a cliff and then parachutes out of it and he's like

I parked it you know like that like it was like and then like

yeah so I feel like that's classic like rap rock time

so there was like

like zingers yeah but it wasn't like Nina Dobrev who I think honestly was one of my favorite characters

she did a a great seller job yeah she did she seller

was great but uh but we're all in on Nina Dobreville

I do think that they added some of her stuff in afterwards, though, because

I was watching this before the show, and I was like, it looks like they were like, oh, you know what? We need to add some comedy here. So watch this scene, and you at home, listen to it.

They don't share the screen at all.

So here we go.

Xander Cage, this is crazy. I was at Coachella, and Guns N' Roses got back together, but this is way cooler.
Breathe.

Take your time. I know mouth to mouth if necessary.
She's nowhere.

Clearage worked closely with Gibbons. She'll handle support for the operation.
And I bet a guy like you needs a lot of support. What are you? Like, 220, 230?

Be honest, 250 is like the hard max for my swing. Oh, come on.
I'm kidding. It's not like I have a safe word or anything.
It's come quiet.

Come quiet. Well, she was very good.
Maybe I didn't watch it. I loved it.
Yeah.

I loved it. I loved every minute of it.
It was also like, it's been a while since the first one. And so scenes like that, I was like, why is this like 48-year-old man hitting on this

little girl? It's kind of funny. Well, if you're a woman in the world of this movie, you so want to fuck Vendetta.
That's all you want to do.

So much so that you will put your job in jeopardy to sexually harass him in front of your boss.

I can understand it, but

I did feel like the women in the movie...

Now, this is the first time I've really seen Nina Dobrev in anything and I think she's wonderful and so for me the movie was a nice introduction to Nina Dobrev but

but

the other scene not to jump ahead who cares about jumping ahead but basically five scenes in the movie

where he meets that hacker whoever that young woman is those girls seemed underage.

Well that girl yeah no she's a great grandma but you seem underage the orgy that happens to him yeah you mean mean the orgy that happens? He's very uncomfortable.

They did basically force themselves on him. He's like, okay.
And they all just like disappear.

He's a family from my country.

In a jacket that looks like only what I can describe as a woolly vagina.

It looks like that jacket looks like. He's like being born out of a 70s bush.
It really does.

But was that jacket like a huge thing in the first because he goes to London to get the jacket

might be there. And then they have this whole entrance for him in this jacket.
Yes.

It's weirder. In the rain, it's a coat.
It's the worst jacket to wear in the rain. Yeah, terrible.
He then also has like three other very weird jackets. Yes, they're coats, you guys.

They're tall coats. He has a whole like

suitcase full of douchey jackets. Right.
From the

jacket, the jacket is kind of like his Aston Martin.

The director was like, we needed to put this jacket back into it. Really? Really? I have an update, DJ Caruso.
You did not.

Because Bin Diesel's like, people respond to the jacket so much so because Mark Zuckerberg bought the jacket from the first triple L. What?

And gave it to his best friend. What on earth are you talking about?

Why wasn't that in a social network?

Because he couldn't get the jacket. Orkin, rewrite, venture, reshoots.

So they were like, this is the quote. It says, Mark Zuckerberg bought that jacket and gave it to his right-hand man because one of their mantras was, I live for this shit, right?

Which, okay. So realizing that that jacket is this shit.
How does that come into context at Facebook?

I get it. When you're about to do some sort of extreme sport, I love, live for this shit, right? Let's jump off this,

whatever. But like, at Facebook.
Let's add emoticons to these comments.

I live for this shit.

So, Mark Zuckerberg bought the jacket. There was such folklore built around the jacket, and Vin loved the idea of the jacket.
He said, you got to find a way to get that jacket back in the movie.

It wasn't even in the script. It was on a whim.
So, the day one shot,

we just threw this.

Exactly what you said. They just were making it up as they went along.

Oh, my God. I like that in this movie, though,

Xander Cage, which was definitely not in the first movie, also was a little bit like Benedict Cumberbatch's Sherlock. Like when they capture him in that little square,

I knew because you were this guy.

His fingernail had a thing on it, and her eyebrow was cocked up, and his shoe had no scruff on it, and that guy was buying a magazine, and that busted the magic.

Here's the thing: none of that stuff that he observed, none of it made sense. None of it.
And after he said each one and they showed them, I still didn't understand.

And by the way, all he needed to say, which was obvious, was the guy, the most important person, the guy that sat next to him, basically gave the whole thing away. Yeah.

Mike, don't say I didn't warn you or what. Like, he was terrible.
So, why even bother selecting a bunch of other stuff? Like, oh, no, that guy was terrible. It was obvious.
It was fake.

And also, when Tony Colette comes up to him

and tells him, okay, we need you. And he's like, okay.
And he gets up and starts following her up.

They're in like the tropics, right? They're in South America. Is that what we're there? So he's wearing, he's wearing,

he has like raw denim that's been rolled up to his knee with big boots, but it looks like so uncomfortable. You know how raw denim and like tightly rolled up against your skin? Oh, yeah.

It's like 80 grit samples. It's terrible.

Oh, and then, well, okay. And then he's got a, he meets his team,

and I love that they pair him up with the squares, the military guys. Oh, man.

This is the most insulting scene to the military in any movie

ever. He ejects them out of a plane.
Like, SEAL Team Six, basically, is there to help him

get the bad guys. I still don't know who the bad guys were.
They have to send SEAL Team Six in. They have to send this fucking asshole.

A 53-year-old. And by the way,

that's the thing I did not understand about this movie because I didn't see the other XXXs.

So what is so special about them? Is it

extreme? Yep.

They're just extreme in every way. Like, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't he recruited in the first one because he's good at extreme sports? Yeah.
Well, you guys.

You guys saw the opening of this movie with Sam Jackson giving a powerful monologue, which, by the way, kills it always.

So did they put the hair on him in that first scene? And then at the end, he's like, no hair. Yeah.
Like on day two of shooting, he was like, you know what? I don't want to do that hair thing anymore.

So I'm going to come an hour and a half later, and we're going to just shoot me without the hair. It doesn't matter.
By the way.

And also, I'm going to wear my own glasses because I don't want to do that. And I'll wear an eye patch because I'm just coming from the set of the Avengers movie.

I feel like the next step for Sam Jackson is for his role in the movie to literally just be footage of him going to the bank and depositing a check.

And it will still, it will still, on many occasions, be the best scene in the live. Absolutely.

I mean, that opening monologue is

amazing. But this is what I don't understand about the Triple X team.
So, are they all athletes? No.

Right? All extreme. Some are athletes, some are extreme sports stars, and some people just like to crash cars.

And some are DJs.

Okay. Yeah, one of them literally is a DJ.

His special skill is people like him. Yes.

Oh, yeah. He knows when to drop that beat.

Every time a new character is introduced, there's a freeze frame and Chiron comes up and they say like, special skills, favorite karaoke, go-to, Call of Duty handle. And when

what's his name from Game of Thrones? The

Hound. The Hound.
He's in it. It says...
Sander Clagagin.

It says.

His longest relationship was his rugby mouthpiece. Yes, that's what he keeps putting in his mouth.

That was super fair. I thought that was, I'll be honest, I thought that was the best romance of the movie.
He is his rugby mouthpiece. The best romance was the unseen romance.

This guy dated Taylor Swift and Lady Gaga in the same night. In the same night.
I thought the same thing. In the same media's weated word.
It should say this guy fucked them in the same night. Right.

Dated seems like he courted them. There was a sort of a relationship.
And that means that's the

two very nice first dates with those women. That means he had access to a time pocket.
He was able to go in and date and court.

I want to see that movie just running from table to table at a restaurant. Brady Bunch style.

Oh, no, I made two dates, Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift.

Did you guys catch the joke when after these guys come in and assassinate a whole room full of people and they're kind of assessing the damage afterwards, somebody says, these a-holes came in here, took out the best of the best like it was Sunday brunch.

Yeah,

I'm

almost positive that was Tony Collette, wasn't it? Did she say that?

Tony Colette was fantastic.

Tony Colette is the bad guy in this movie, or

not quite bad guy, but the

she delivered the shittiest lines with such authority. I was like,

Yeah, like she was like, I feel like they were like, oh, Tony, so your part was written horribly.

So you are going to have to chew the scenery like nobody else can. And she's like, I got this.
And scene after scene crushes. Yeah, the best.
She was one of my favorite parts of this.

I wrote down some of her lines too. She wrote,

We need someone who can walk into a tornado and come out like it was a gentle breeze. That's right.

She also, she also said,

and I've never seen anyone say this in a serious way. Ollie, ollie, Oxenfree.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow.
Yeah.

That's the denim rolled-up scene. Yeah, yeah.
She fucking killed him. She killed him as the kid.

Great.

And I don't even think that she understands the plot because the plot was.

Let me ask this:

where had Xander Cage been that he's returning from? Well, he was going around getting soccer on TV for people.

But where does he end up? He's some sort of Robin Hood character in the Dominican Republic. So after the first first standard,

the way that we're to believe it in the world is in the second movie, because he was such a dick about this.

In our world, that girl went to Coachella.

So this

thought of the moment. That kind of tethered it to the.

So that means the Triple X program must be somewhat real, right? Oh, it's happening. Oh, 100%, Jason.

Good. I'm just glad that I got that clear.
Yeah, stop being so fucking stupid.

So

he

in the second movie Vin Diesel was such an ass in dropping out and wanting to get so much money that the directors or whatever decided they we're gonna make sure that he can never come back so they spend the first five minutes of the movie killing Xander Cage which is just a bald guy running around that you never see his face you go he's in there he's in there he's in there and you just see like

you know just like quick moves and never see his face and then they blow up a building and then from the building like you know like debris comes down, but his face, not his head, like as if you ripped off like Westworld, like front of face,

like hits the pavement. The bad guy picks it up like a pancake and dangles Vin Diesel's face.
He goes, That's the end of the triple X program,

and then that's it, like done.

So, do you think that in this movie it's that guy wearing Vin's face?

Yes,

Is that what we are to believe?

Is that that guy puts Vin's face on, becomes the Robin Hood of the Dominican Republic, just so that the Triple X program will invite him back and then he, a bad guy, they now think is Xander Cage,

can come back in. Wow, I love that.

And... Better movie.

And also, I had a question, because his name, well, I guess he has Triple X tattooed on the back of his neck, which is a tough thing. If you're like FBI, you don't want to tattoo that

on your body. Right.
That's like doing undercover. Yeah.

Sorry, not only is it like blows your cover, but also he quit the Triple X program years ago.

He still is a stupid fucking tattoo. Right on the back of the neck.
And like people, like the woman who's the,

we haven't identified any of the characters.

Well,

It's Tony Colette, Vin Diesel, then Vin Diesel as his team.

But then there's the team of bad guys, which is Donnie Yen's team. Donnie Yen, just unstoppable.

Yeah, he's great. Just unstoppable.

I wish Tony Jaw had done more. I'm a big Tony Jaw fan.

I wish he had done more. The bad guys had their headquarters on a beach.

It was referred to

as a kind of jungle rave.

Yeah, that's how it was described in the movie. It's apparently some kind of jungle rave.
And that's where they go. And it was an app description.

It was populated of beautiful women that bad guys hang out at. Like, that's it.
It's like Bad Guy Island.

But then, all of a sudden, in the movie, I did eventually, I have to say, I did eventually fall asleep for a while.

Because

I went to a 10 p.m. show last night.
We will act it up.

But before that happened,

the

other,

yeah, it was one of the things that I was doing. Oh, I fall asleep in theaters all day.
Yeah, we were in those

two.

Yeah, it's hard. And then I have to say danger to them.
I have to say, after the movie ended, I woke up, saw the last half hour or so, then got up, walked out. It was about midnight.

I was walking out, and I was like, oh, Rogue One's playing. Maybe I'll go in and watch like 15 minutes because it had just started.
So I went in and sat down, woke up an hour later,

freezing. Like, what am I doing here I have to get out so somebody they're like oh hang on a second yeah

lion is playing

Lego Batman

someone needs to bring Adam home

but but I will hey something weird happened the other night Adam's call wandering around sleeping in theaters yeah I think he might be celeb homeless

before I fell asleep it did happen that Vin Diesel and his crew just all of a sudden they're at the headquarters for the bad guys. Yeah, they just show up there.
Yes. Yes.
I didn't get how they were.

They got their location from those young women.

Oh, yeah. No, because he goes, I know a ghost hunter.
Yes. And he goes to Amy

who's from the first movie. That's the girl who gets out of the pool and it's the crotch shot up.
She's in the first movie. Wait, was she a 10-year-old? Yeah,

she's

literally like

10 years old. This girl looks like, how old was she?

I'm pretty sure that that was her whole thing, is that she's like the connection to the first movie. That's the thing.
There were lots of references as if we had all seen the movie.

The first movie 10 minutes ago. And by the way, yeah,

it was almost a decade ago.

Yeah, let's see. All right, so Triple X, I'm going to look for Ainsley.
Yeah, it was 2000. It came out in 2008.
So anyway,

so the hackers give him the names of

Donny Yen's team. And then they find that they're in the Philippines.
And that's when Vin assembles his team. And they're like, we're going to the Philippines.

And then they drive up in a boat, and people are like, who the fuck are are you? He has Triple X tattooed on himself. Right.
He could not be also a more famous person. Right.

He's like a famous extreme sportist.

Yeah. That's right, sportist.
So mustn't people be like, oh, fuck, Xander Cage, I saw you fucking flip over a bunch of buses. I don't know.

And TV. I don't know.
If there's a crowd that knows the extreme sports world, it's definitely this crowd. So they would know him.
They're in it. Yeah, they're.

Oh, I don't know if she was in the first movie.

Maybe, wow, I thought they made some sort of connection i mean it was gross like he walked in they still say she was in rogue nation she was in mission impossible i was wrong yeah so she was i thought that he was a crossover look basically this movie has marked one of the other people is ethan hunting one of his masks

right

it's philip seymore offness this is

miss this is xander triple x z the return of xander cage colon mission impossible 7

But then Ice Cube, too.

I was psyched when Ice Cube came in. Me too.
That was great because it showed me that Vin respected the franchise.

Let bygones be bygones, bro. But

he still made Ice Cube say like an incredibly sycophantic line to him at the end of the movie, which is like, I couldn't believe I was going to work with the legend Xander Cage or whatever.

Whatever line he had that was meant to explain his utter reverence for Vin Diesel. And he gives them back his car.
He's like, Yeah, here's your car.

He drives up in Vin Diesel's car. He's like, Okay.
Nice ride. He's like, Yeah, I kept it for you.
Where are they? They're in Detroit, right? Yeah. Yes.
Where is Ice Cube?

When they call nine and they're like, we're in trouble. We're in Detroit.
He just is there.

Like,

he must live in Detroit. No, he probably has his own little plane, too.
Does that car fly?

Yeah, by the way. I wondered that.

By the way, that scene with the Nina Debrev scene we watched earlier, that takes place on an airplane that's flying in the air. It's a giant one.

A giant airplane with a control room, and they're all walking around.

With a great set piece later when they're all flying. But by the way, talking about these guys in the airplanes, when he knocks out, we talked about how he knocks out SEAL Team 6.

Then like later on in the movie, they're back on that plane. Yeah.
And they're not like, hey, man, you fucking tried to kill us yeah

like

why would you re-up for that assignment yeah like like and by the way i thought they weren't going to be dead they didn't they weren't wearing parachutes they were just attached to a lot of box but it certainly seemed like he murdered them yeah they are all killed yes then they are all killed but they came back and they're like well they're sealed team six i trusted they would be okay oh yeah then they were okay they what what happened was they're on the airplane and tony collette's like these are the guys that are going to help us out these are the best and the brightest the guys you know SEAL Team Six or whatever.

And he's like, oh, yeah.

And he starts asking them dumb questions, I guess, to trick their mind into things.

And then he hooks them onto a big piece of freight and then just pushes a button and they all fly out of the airplane. Like they all were attached to that big thing already.

Well, he's walking behind them. Oh, yes,

hooking them onto it. Yeah.
Because

SEAL Team Six is not too sweaty.

I feel like they tried to greeto shot first this because as he's walking up, you hear the tall guy go,

say something like, oh, what's he going to do? Like, show us how to like kick flip on a skateboard? Or something. Like,

there's an ADR line that you see Vin be like,

okay. And then he, like, boots them all out of there.
So it's, it's justified. But by the way, again, every one of these decisions, it is like if no one else waited in on a fast and furious script.

He's like, it is. It's like, then I knock them all out of a plane.
Then that girl fucks me.

And then the younger girl, she like wants me then my motorcycle turns into a boat and then I'm flying and then we're in outer space and we're and the satellites are blowing up and like and then he's back and the whole opening title sequence is looking at every detail on a satellite

yeah that was the best

It was the whole opening credit sequence was just every detail of a satellite. And a very like, it was so shitty.
It was like the most uninteresting opening. Pointless.

By the way, one of the facts in the plane was it could circumnavigate the globe three times. Yep.
Without being refueled.

I was like, cool.

I would like to point out something that is now a frequent occurrence. This is the second time in a movie where

the hero has been given a gun that is full of blanks that he shoots at all the people.

It happened in Escape from LA and here, where he gets the gun and is like,

knowing or not knowing that it's blanks. Like, who continues to put blanks in guns that people

the planning would be insane in both cases? It's pointless to fill a gun full of blanks and then give it to somebody. And just to prove a point, he just fires it into a crowd of civilians.
Yeah.

Like, kids and strollers. He was wrong.
Yeah.

Now, I had a hard time, honestly, and I said this to you, Paul, while we were watching it. I found that scene to be socially really irresponsible.

I had a lot of trouble with that scene. I will say, though, that the people in that town had supreme confidence in him because they didn't seem to flinch when he fired.
No, they didn't.

Not one flinch. Yeah, no one died for him.

Maybe

they're positing the idea that every single person in that square but him is with them. That is exactly what they were trying to say.
That is exactly what they were trying. Yes, it is.
Really?

Absolutely.

And it's bonkers. Wow.

Oh, that is. This movie just got better.
Yeah.

Because she's like, how did you know it was fake? And he's like, that guy over there. And it's all the way across the square.
Some guy buying a magazine.

He's like, he's not using the right type of pesos.

He literally saw a teaser trailer for the BBC Sherlock. He's like, I want to do that.

So true.

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This is the scene that made June upset because you got upset, then you looked down and you missed the thing that's going to really get you upset. So, I'm going to not even set it up.
I'll just play.

This is kind of the meat-cute of the movie

a little bit.

All right.

I'm a guest. Gibbons to the rescue.
Yep. He said a lion like me doesn't belong in any kind of cage.

She shows off her tattoo.

What about that one on your wrist? London, 2009. Climbed the millennium wheel.

Naked. Naked? Yeah.

High school.

Oh, no.

We all have our embarrassing moments.

Okay, first of all, all, I was asleep during that scene.

I remember that at all. I have never seen that before.

You are welcome. Yeah, thank you.

I just watched that with fresh eyes. For sure.

That's your boy's Nip.

Why would you climb that thing naked? That's what it feels like. That's why it feels like a 12-year-old royal.
Yeah. I climbed it.
Naked. Yeah.

Yeah, now let's go look at my dad's Playboys.

I can't believe Uncle Vin's paying us to write this movie.

By the way, I'm really just putting some things together as I've been sitting here. Oh, yeah.
Again, I'm going to say, this may be the first time we have to redo a movie.

Yeah, I'm really putting some things together. And the main one is that I did not realize he was an extreme sport.

What?

I did it.

Now look, you have to imagine, I know, I

really did it.

Okay.

What? Look at this. Please look at this the way I'm looking at it.

Just for a second, you know nothing about this movie.

When I say nothing, I mean nothing. Well,

you have a point. Thank you.
I don't know other

extremes.

Not really.

Forest skiing. No, excuse me.
Skateboarding. Not in a competitive way.
I just see a guy.

Exactly. I guess so.
I guess so. I don't see a lot of people.
You have a footage of him on ESPN's Extreme Games. All I'm saying is I see a gentleman who starts skateboarding and then...

Could be a James Bond type person. That's what I'm saying.
I was just like, oh, I guess this is...

He's Extreme James Bond.

Yeah, there was nothing that I... I just never thought this was his thing.

I don't know if he was professionally ranked. Like, I think, well, I think he's just a guy who does speak.
But I feel like he was sponsored.

In the first movie,

as far as I remember, it starts with him

winning a championship on ESPN2 or whatever it was. So, you know,

June's right. They don't establish it at all.
It's the most presumptuous movie in the sense that they're just assuming we all know everything about this guy.

He doesn't really refer to himself.

Like the scene we were just talking about in the, you know, when he goes into the middle of that village and knows everything about everyone, I just think, well, he's a very skilled guy. You know,

there was nothing specific.

What makes it even further confusing is Samuel Jackson is recruiting a soccer player, which is not extreme sports, just sports.

That's why I asked before, are they all athletes? And then the guy from Game of Thrones,

he's not also extreme sports. He just is a guy who crashes cars.
And they go further to go, the guy with a DJ is just a DJ. So these are just people who may go to a rave.

That's what the triple X program is. How about the way in which Sam Jackson recruits the soccer gentleman at the beginning? You have that? I have just the end of that scene.
Oh, great.

That's that's all we do.

Did you guys know this was a real soccer player? I thought that was a good idea. I assumed when he couldn't act.
I was like,

this is amazing. Wow, putting that guy on blast.

When you watch this opening scene, first of all, Sam Jackson does like a full

three-page monologue. Straight to camera, by the way.
It is all two camera. Yeah.
And I'll bet you that was max two takes and he was out of there. He's a badass.

And then

he's like, the guy's like, I don't want to join. I don't want to join.
And he's like, okay, bye. Yeah, this is him moving.

Down on the ground. Now,

give me the money.

Don't move.

Hurry up.

You say you're no hero.

The soccer player picks up a napkin dispenser, kicks it a little bit to then get a really good kick to then knock it in that guy's head.

Do you think his whole approach is soccer-based to being like a triple X member? Yes. That's

precisely what they're saying. That's crazy.

I can understand. Like, you're a peak athlete.
We will train you in all this other stuff. But no, what we need from you is legs.
We need you to.

We've got a bunch of guys who do shooting and punching. We need a bunch of guys who can do legs.

The DJ, the DJ, when he does his battle, strangles someone with headphones.

But like,

He's within his way. He's like,

this is what I do.

It's very similar to Fast and the Furious in that it's a very narrow application of like Fast and the Furious. They save the world literally with cars.

And that's why the whole movie, I mean, even though I had seen some of Extreme Sporting earlier on, I didn't see, well, I guess he was on that.

jet ski thing.

I don't know. I kept on wondering, well, what's his skill? But the jet ski thing was like an imaginary thing that isn't real.
That doesn't exist?

I don't know. I hope you can order one.
It looked like fuck. Do you have footage? I do have the footage of them on the escrow.

Yeah, the motorcycles that just are built to transform into

wave riders, which would be hell on an engine. And it seemed like both of them were aware that this is what they were going to do.
Yeah.

By the way, the one thing to point out in this scene, you can't see it if you're at home, is it starts at night.

Oh, and

ends, I wrote that too, ends in full daylight.

And I was like, are we to presume that they've been driving for hours

around Jungle Rave Island? What is happening? I think we don't notice that it started at night during a rave, so not even that late,

and is now in full daylight. All right, here we go.
I had no idea why they were chasing each other or mad at each other. Yes, I also thought that.
Like, aren't you guys friends?

Well,

after the grenade scene, yeah.

Wow, what happened?

Sunlight, cold day.

You wanna play?

I got one of those motorcycles too.

Like they ride in two waves. And then Vin Diesel goes underwater with a motorcycle

and it still runs

And I get it, the motorcycle's got jet ski skis on it, so maybe it's got some sort of waterproof motor, but like, I don't think so.

And he seems to be unphased that that capability is built into it.

It's like getting a James Bond car, and you're not James Bond, and you know every feature of the car without anyone explaining it to you. Totally.

You know, I think the whole thing about every single girl in the movie wanting to have sex with him is completely just a a carryover from like Bond.

Like this is a James Bond trope that we're going to comment on in our new extreme sports way.

But it just comes off as so gross that every girl is like, he's like, oh, let's do it.

He is still asking that way. I mean, look, they were just very young.
Like, they should give those opportunities to women, you know, who are in their 30s.

Like, they should just open up that.

What are you saying?

No, I'm just like if they're gonna cast someone like they should let me happier than if you got cast as Vin Diesel's love interest yeah they should just like open it up a little bit in the next triple I would have loved to have played that Nina Dobrev character but um I wish I had the scene and this is what I was talking about before like where because it like James Bondi has his little witty things and like there was like there was a line and this is gonna be me and my bad memory of it but it's like he's like I thought I got rid of you guys to the army guys right and he's like oh how many flushes does it take to get you guys out of here something and then like you want what is it that's a two flusher a two oh yeah two floor

oh man

so you're talking about your shit

no he says he says if if i was to shut stuff you in the toilet yeah you know like the maximum velocity of something and blah blah blah blah blah and so what he does though is he gets that guy in the toilet and he says the line before the guy is jettisoned out but like that's the wrong time to say that line like you flush him out and then you

finally figured it out two flushes. Yeah.
Bam. But he's like, he gets him in there.
He's like, I figured it out. Two flushes.
As if it was like, haha, I did do the math.

But it was written like

in a funny aside, but he made it a logical aside. Again, no idea what you're talking about.
I'm pretty sure I missed this scene. He shoved the guy in the toilet.

When he has his fight with the guy wearing robot globs? I guess I did.

You know, this movie was four hours long, right? I do remember thinking this is a pretty short movie, but.

All right, let's go to the audience. Let's see what things that you guys want to talk about.

All right, I'm sure there's a lot. All right, let's start down here with you.
Sir, what would be one extreme fact about you?

My name's Tim. I've been skydiving.

Great. You got to say it like skydived.

You got, I've been skydived. Yeah.
Yeah.

That feels like someone made you do it. I love it.
Okay, so I wrote down what he said about the math problem. He said,

I'm trying to figure out a math problem. I'm calculating air speed and wind velocity to figure out where between China and North Korea I should tell the NSA to pick you up.

The answer to that is not two flushes.

That's amazing.

I think Binn on the day day was like, I'm going to save two flushes.

The line is different because we've already shot the other side of it. He's like, no, two flushes.

All right, so.

Vinn, can you please stop putting the word family? This is not one of those movies.

All right, so

your extreme fact and your question. I live my life a quarter mile at a time.
Exactly. And

in the end fight scene in the lovely Detroit finale sequence, what was the hound doing when his plan was to like bum rush a bunch of dudes

shooting at him? He's like, I got a plan. He puts in his mouth guard, and then he just like gets shot a bunch.
He gets shot like eight times.

And then at like the end of the movie, he's just fine, like hanging out with everybody. Didn't he and Donnie Yen both get shot?

Yeah. They are 100% fine.
Yeah. I mean, I saw what he, I thought he had a suicide wish and was like planning to sacrifice himself.
I thought he was trying to draw for the team for them or something.

Yeah, I think that that guy does have a suicide wish.

We're introduced to him literally just getting in a car and crashing through a building for no reason. No, he's not well.
Yeah, he's not well.

Well, I was very happy we got to be there for his 200th crash. I mean, I guess...
I could tell that was meaningful. I guess he fulfills the, it's the good, the bad, and the insane.

So I guess he's the insane part of the equation. That's what Vin calls him.
Oh, is that right? The good, the bad, and the insane. That was

who do you think?

Well, I think the insane is the guy who crashes his car. Sure.
Is the good the DJ? The good, the DJ, yeah. The bad is Ruby Rose.
Yeah. Okay.
Who is the good, the girl, the sniper who

likes

she murdered someone who was about to shoot a lion? Oh, yeah. No, she shot.

She just injured those people so the lion could be. I think the lion hates

Yeah.

She said she's just evening the odds. But wait, but then the lion off-screen sounds like he's eating them.

For sure.

I understood her point there.

Yeah, no, I get it. I get it.
I mean, yeah,

sure. But June, and now I'm even finding June's point more valid because she's not extreme sports either.
She's just a sniper.

No, I know. This is not extreme sports.
We find out that all of Donnie Yen's team is also Triple X and none of them are sports people either. Right.

I think the extreme sports thing is just, they just took a way back seat. Yeah, if you're right.
I feel like extreme sports was popular 10 years ago. Yeah.

And they were like, that's a fun idea for a movie. And then now they're like, uh, but like,

why have Vin Diesel still participating so much extreme sporting in the movie? Just have him be a badass ass kicker or whatever. Why have to have him ski in the forest and do all this nonsense?

By the way, Triple X came out 15 years ago.

Wow. 15 years ago.
What is happening? I know. I know.

That's one year less than between Return of the Jedi and Phantom Menace.

Wow.

Wow. Blow your mind up.
Wow.

All right, your extreme fact and your question. My extreme fact is I'm the June of my group.

And my question is, so Neymar is Brazilian soccer player. He shows the game the World Cup final, which is the most embarrassing defeat of the Brazilian team of all time.

You think Vendizo just insists to like degrade his fellow co-stars and people who actually have skills? That's amazing. So they picked the worst clip of him? Yes, like it's...

Monumentally embarrassing defeats the Germany team in the World Cup final there. Wow.
Yeah, I bet you. Wait, the guy that he put in the movie? Yeah, that they show also humiliated him?

Wow, we.

I wonder what that movie is. Do you think he was trying to like redeem him in this movie?

No, because he's great, right?

Yeah, he's great. They just picked a shitty clip.

It's like, we got the best basketball player, and then you show him, like, missing a dunk.

Normally, always dunking. I wonder if the guy was a dick, and then Vin was like, you know what? Put in

like him being like embarrassing or something. I like in your scenario, Vin Diesel's like around for the editing process.

Oh, please. He is.
I 100% believe

that this movie was edited

in his poolhouse

by

two kids on each other's shoulders wearing a trench coat.

What's that character's name from Bojack?

So your extreme factor question.

I can't live for this shitty movie. All right, great.
All right.

I'll hold a mic.

Especially at the lackluster way you delivered your extreme line. He's definitely going to hold the mic.

Did you guys notice how when he goes to the super spy in London to get the information, and when she comes out of the pool, she's got an ankle bracelet on, she's on house arrest, and then

he blasts the seven teenage girls to sleep

he meets he meets her like in a restaurant the next day to get the right

I have a theory about that right

I have a theory about that and this is I don't know if I'm right but this was my justification of that which was she says to him you know I can't touch any kind of computer or something like that.

She is like a hacker who's who's been removed from hacking. So I was like, does the bracelet pick up computer activity? Oh, yeah.

Like, could it be related to the, like, like, there are blood alcohol bracelets that if you are legally not allowed to drink, they will put a bracelet on you.

Like, it has a Bluetooth in it. Yeah, is it supposed to, is that the implication is like, there's a bracelet that'll know if you're emailing?

So she can go to a restaurant, but if there's someone on a laptop in the restaurant, it's all over for her. Well, no, because all of her lady hackers are like hacking away

right next to her. So she did a skirting the law.
I think we may have found a hole. Just the one.

Just the one. You know what? In Triple X 3.
I don't know if I like this movie anymore.

I want to get a woman that has a question. Yeah, because we have a lot of dudes that have questions.
I want to hear from a

dude movie.

No girls allowed. Yeah, boys club.

Just by round of applause, we're going to get to your question too, but by round of applause, if you're a lady or a dude, who here finds Vin Diesel to be as sexy as June is making him out to be?

Ooh,

I'm trying to find my wife

who's out there.

That's right, sit on your hands, honey.

God damn it. And just to hear the other side of it.
And I'd also like to just tell a couple of girls in the audience to sit on their hands as well.

If that's not weird. It is weird.

Sit on your hands, honey.

Same line, different intent.

All right, ma'am, your extreme factor question.

I live every day like it's my last. Great.
And

I'm wondering what tagline is better, We're Family or X Takes Care of Its Own.

Ooh, shit. Like the sentiment, the sentiment is very similar.
Yeah, it sure is. It's like Sophie's choice.
Yeah.

I feel like if I knew what X was,

I'd have an easier time with this.

Oh, I will say we have now reached the point in the podcast where June has forgotten the entire movie. I have.

If you are curious what the tagline of the movie actually is, it is kick some ass, get the girl, and try to look dope while you're doing it.

That's what he says to him at the end, right? Yeah. Yeah.

The observation you made, Paul,

that like extreme sports isn't as much of a thing anymore is just

one of many indications that they just shouldn't have like why

extreme sports is just like not

I feel like I feel like honestly he was like oh the only movies that make money from me are Fast and Furious How can I do the exact same thing, but just not call it Fast and Furious?

Yeah, on a different mode of transportation. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

He doesn't get a car until the end. No.

And by the way, when he drives it, he's going to drive it great. But if these two things could merge, they're both universal, right? That could be amazing.
Oh, my God. Here's the movie:

Xander Diesel is both Dominic Toreto.

Is that why he's

in the movie? Yes. He's his own evil twin brother that he doesn't know exists.

I swear to God,

I swear I can see that happening. Yes, it's definitely been talked about.
Oh, absolutely. By Vin Diesel.

I would go see that. View himself in the mirror.

Like, how quickly would you buy a ticket to? I would buy a ticket.

I would finance the movie. Yes.
But by the way.

I would make myself poor. I would take out irresponsible loans.

You would make it back because that's the thing. It's like Vindy's the last witch hunter.
Who cares? I would see this movie a million times. It's great.
It's super fun. All right, here.

Yes, your question. All right, coming over here.
Here we go. All right.
Yes, your extreme fact. Here you go.
Extreme fact. I went to Chico, so we know how to drink, right? All right.

All right, that's your extreme fact. Did you say Chico? Chico's Save.
Chico State. Yeah, okay.
Anyways, my question is, they had this supreme accuracy with the satellites when they fell.

How the heck did they do that?

It was like a bullseye with Samuel Jackson in the first scene. Like, how does that even happen? Well, same thing.

Yeah, same thing at the end where they're sending the satellite to kill them in the factory. Why not just leave the factory?

Well, I know, but I do hear what you're saying, though, because guys, get out of there.

It does, all right.

It does seem odd.

Because it would seem like the satellites had been made to become weapons

at a certain point when they were really ever only satellites. And the accuracy, you're right, is impossible.
Yeah. That was the whole thing.
The whole movie,

if I'm correct, let me know if I'm wrong, but the whole thing. From the person who slept through most of it, I guess.

Go ahead. Is them trying to stop satellites from falling out of the surface? Satellites from hitting targets.

And here's the real bummer of that. Satellites are not designed to withstand the friction of re-entering the atmosphere.
Sure. And any satellite that would fall would be burnt up.

I'm glad to know that because I did walk out of the movie feeling a little nervous about all them satellites.

Come on over here.

Oh my gosh. You know what? And the other little interesting fact was the girl, the one he was showing his tattoos to, she turned down a part in Fast and Furious.
Whoa.

And then she jumped on board for this one. She's a Bollywood star, yeah.
So she knew. All right, your name.

Come over here a little bit. Your Extreme Fact.
What do you got? Seth, Extreme Fact is: I love to moped. Awesome.
All right, love it. Did you ever get it out there on that sweet, sweet water?

Oh, yeah.

In the satellite realm, when they disclose the fact there's like 250,000 satellites orbiting Earth and they're going to drop one a day,

so how long would this plot take

to

happen?

I agree, a long time. And he even says at one point,

I'm not going to stop. I wouldn't stop anyway.

The amount of destruction seems like you wouldn't even need 250,000. You could probably really do all the damage you need in probably about 10, 15 days, right? I mean, knock all the major places.

All the space junk they showed at the beginning of the movie floating through space, it didn't seem accurate to me. It seemed...

I agree.

Thanks, Jason. All right, one more question.
We're going to get back on there. Thank you.
All right, what do you think?

Your extreme factor question. I teach middle school.

That is fun.

Extreme.

I feel like now I have an understanding of those X's.

Towards the end of the movie, Tony Colette is arresting Don Ian.

And

what's his name, Dom Toretto?

He says, hey, he's not really a bad guy, except for he smashed through the window and murdered the National Security Security Council at the beginning of the movie.

Kind of a bad guy. Oh, yeah.
He did.

Yeah.

Oh, no. He's like a kid.
He's a bad guy.

He straight up murdered

a room full of government employees.

And he slid for like

a second. Everybody slides.
I mean, he slid. He slid so far.
Like, I was laughing so hard at that because he slid across the table, then like down the hall through the door.

Like, shot out a big plate glass window and slid through that. Yep, takes his jacket on and off four times during the

full disrogue pro.

And it was awesome every time. Oh, Donny Yen is a fucking monster.
Dude, he is fantastic in this movie. I just wanted more Tony Ja.
He's great.

Okay, oh, here's some interesting facts about Triple X, just so people are at home not going to be too upset about it. There is no

Vin Diesel is the first Triple X. There is no organization or team before him.

When Triple X started, it was like

a hero here. So if we met, if they would be a similar, if you met CIA,

whoa, you're a CIA? I heard about you.

CIA tattooed on his neck.

And then,

and the gun with the full of blanks is is a callback to the first film where Gibbons puts him into a fake diner and then he has guns with bullets in there. And then

again, these callbacks to something that no one knows anything about. And here's the best one.
The original

15 years ago, who was the original choice to play Xander Cage? Oh shit. 15 years ago?

Relax, everybody.

Let's not get too crazy, okay?

Jeez. Keanu?

Interesting, interesting. Keanu Reeves is a really good thing.

I'm going to also say Keanu.

Although, I don't know if you would have done it. It's point-breaky.

Yeah. Well, you know, he turned it down.
Yeah, turned it down.

This person turned it down. I'm going to say

Bruce Willis.

Probably not, because, yeah, I don't know. I'm going to say.

Think out of the box. Out of the box.

will smith

all right these are all great these are all great but that's in the box

maybe yeah maybe hell and a bottom carter

that is out of the box

h b

c

eric banna

15 years ago yeah i guess right after bronze

like i guess it was like you're like this guy is like a stream because i guess that movie you know why wouldn't he

i guess it was like i don't don't like the script.

Yeah, I mean, why wouldn't he? He clearly is chosen right across the board. My favorite Eric Banna piece of trivia is that he was on Australia's version of Saturday Night Live as a cast member.
Yeah.

Very funny. He's hilarious.
But I'm like, also, like,

I want him now to be Triple X.

By the way, if they make another movie, I'm sure they'll agree. I think that's that too.

They're doing callbacks to the original casting session.

That makes sense because that Hulk that he did was like 15 years ago, yeah, right. So, he probably picked between the two, all right?

So, um, clearly, we had an opinion about this film, but there are other people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for second opinions.

Vin Diesel is a cool

rider, a cool

rider. He was so damn cool, he risks his life to make soccer free.
Whoa,

his motorbike's a jet ski, and he's also in an orgy. He has a nipple tattoo and he knows how to flex them guns.
This is second opinion.

Thank you, Tim.

Amazing.

Tim returning.

How it's done.

Tim, a returning champion. of the second opinion theme.
He's walking away with a street fighter encyclopedia book.

He will now know once and for all what a street fighter is and by the way people you have the audio track now put beats behind it and let's make it a song we literally have 40 second opinions themes that we are like on track 16 of we need to do more i love it now these are culled from different sources not because amazon was not right up to the challenge yet um but they're nonetheless fun oh as a matter of fact this one is titled fun fun fun fun

and the amount amount of stars they gave it are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. 10 stars.
All right. Where did you find these if they were? This is from IMDb, and one is from a Christian website.

Great. Ooh, I hope they liked it.

So this is from,

all right, this one.

Get ready. All right.

I won't read this guy's name because I think he'll kill me.

Triple X are great action movies. I like them very much.
And this Triple X is not different.

I love it.

But allow me to write this few words.

An outstanding Triple X movie will have this title. Triple X

Julian Assange.

Whoa. Imagine.
CIA,

NSA, Hollywood loves movies, but no one in the U.S. or out of the U.S.
modern colonies even published what the empire did wrong in the secret wars.

USA is fighting under orders of the Nobel Peace Prize. The USA news media and the USA movie industry really need to have the triple X courage to do,

I will stop XXX comedy.

Fake news, fake feelings.

That, and it goes on. I just stopped before it gets really racist.

Was he just confirmed for Secretary of Labor?

This guy

also gave it 10 stars. This is

another IMDB review from Tiger Hen.

And Tiger Hen clearly likes Donnie Yoon.

Donnie Yoon stole this movie with his role. His screen presence is extraordinary, and the audience cannot wait for the next scene with him.
His acting is on point. His action scenes are so fast.

That is as fast as eight years ago when he was IP Man, Flashpoint SLP. It doesn't take much time before you start cheering for the villain, which is him.

By the way, yeah,

I agree.

I'm not disagreeing, but you'll see. And then he talks about the Bollywood star Deepika.
Deepika's accent was a little out of place.

But her performance was okay.

All the female characters, Nina Doprev, Ruby Rose, performed the best and overshadowed De Pika.

Just like Donnie Yin overshadows Vin Diesel

every time he is on screen together.

Overall, a good movie with interesting dynamics and a storyline that does not have much flaw. Ten stars.

Wow.

For a minute there, I thought Jason wrote that review.

Now,

this is a little bit of a longer review. It is from

faithbasedreviews.com.

So they ask a lot of questions at the top, like, did you like it? Should I see it in IMAX? One of the questions, are there any phobias to be aware of?

There are some heights early on, but nothing close to the edge. There are some scenes of bad driving if you have a fear of auto accidents.

By the way, a lot of civilian deaths in this movie. Does it contain strong Christian values? No, it does not.

And here we go.

You all know that chick flick that has a lot of stuff that appeals to women and makes the average man want to spew.

Now I present

the average man want to spew

This is overtly sexual at sentence one

Now I present for your enjoyment the adolescent fantasy This has a lot of stuff that a preteen will think is cool, but your average adult will want to blow chunks

This guy's into barfing

The movie is the argument that every awesome skateboarder team presents when an adult asks him or her if they'll get a real job.

Yeah, man, I'm gonna be a super cool Finn Diesel when I grow up. Like some super secret spy people are gonna recruit me to save the world.
It will be totally righteous.

I'll be super cool and I'll be super rich. And it will be like totally radical.

I'm sorry. I'm not hip to the latest jive jive talk.

Hey, hey, Gary, so we just we read your review of the new triple X movie and we're not changing anything.

It's gold, buddy.

But there will be a lot of hip talk involved. Do you dig?

The whole movie is full of people being really, really cool. There's Vin Diesel standing there.
He looks cool.

Now there's Samuel L. Jackson standing there and he's saying something.
I didn't quite remember it, but it was cool.

I feel like a very old nun

is writing this.

Now there's some cool kung fu with that Donnie Yen dude. You know, he's the go-to kung fu guy now that Jackie Chan isn't doing movies really.
So he's cool. And they're just blowing stuff up.
Cool.

Wouldn't it be cool if someone could wreck a car? Uh-uh.

They just wrecked a car.

Each of the team is recruited for having a special skill. The woman is a really good sniper.
All right, I can see that being useful. The guy is really good at crashing cars.

That's a little less useful.

Maybe the entire movie is a long car chase. No, it's really not.
His usefulness is just dropped. He's like taking Aquaman with you to Iraq.

Good point.

Finally, there's a guy who's a really good DJ.

Seriously?

Are we planning on having a raging party until the bad guys surrender?

Yeah, if it was my team, I'd go fish.

Like the card game?

I guess.

The movie, like you're pulling your guy. The movie proves that you can't display a bunch of rapid, fire, cool stuff and be left with a movie.

The Fast and Furious franchise has more of a plot, and that's saying something.

Burn.

Wait, does it end five stars? No, no, sorry, I forgot to. That is what star? I'm sure that's a zero star.
Oh, sorry. This is a third opinion.

It is a base score of a two that he adjusted to a 1.5. I don't understand

how he knocked it down 0.5.

but yeah two out of 10 I would why would the why would the lowest score you can give be a two

yeah it seems like he kind of is envious that he wasn't in the it seems like he's angry yeah for sure

he was like

angry at cool stuff yeah like and and stuff that people thought was cool it basically is like the guy that I feel like is like cool isn't cool you know yeah

raising a family is cool all right

that's what's cool Yeah, and have and being a middle school teacher. That's what's cool.

That is very cool.

That is very cool. And you know what's really cool? Paying for your own HBO Now account and not stealing your parents' password.
That's cool, dude. Or am I not speaking your lingo, brah?

So you can watch your not anymore Jackie Chan, gotta be done again movies.

I'm pissed that Jackie Chan's not working. Harriet Lee!

Well, I think we've said everything we need to say about the return of Xander Cage.

Adam, you got a bunch of cool stuff right now, obviously, the Michael Bolton's Big Sexy Valentine's Day special.

It's so funny that Lonely Island Scott and Comedy Bang Bang, Scott Arkerman put it's so funny. It's so good.
I mean, it for like one second, but the it itself is great and really funny.

And then you're in the prestige, Big Little Lies, this HBO show. Yeah, yeah.
How is that? Is that fun? Yeah, I haven't seen. I saw the first one.
It was great.

That starts February 19th. Seven of them.
Yep. All right.
What else? Anything else you want to plug? I have a bunch of things I could keep on telling you.

Is this a spin-off series from Pretty Little Liars? Yeah.

Yeah. It's like all the liars grown up.

It's a time machine, kind of a time machine.

And in that two,

Shaylene, Nicole Kidman. They grow into Nicole Kidman, Reese Witherspoon, Shaylene Wither.

In 15 years, you'll revisit it. You'll do another seven episodes Yeah.
15 years of Giver Jay. They'll probably make a sequel without you guys, and then you'll come back.

Yeah, they're going to get some actors that are right in between our ages.

Do you play one of the lies?

I play one of the littles.

Are you tiptoeing it? You are on your knees like Gary Oldman is.

That's right.

That's right.

Wait, you guys did tiptoes. Yes, we did.

Classic. Come on.
Yeah, I know. Sorry.

The stupidest question of all time.

Anything else? Anything else to add? No, no,

that sounds

pretty good.

I'm just going to keep

going.

The third season of Grace and Frankie comes out March 24th.

So that's really exciting. And then Paul and I on Instagram are working on a campaign called At the Big Hundred, which is 100 Days of Actions for the First Hundred Days of this Administration.

And if it's something you're into, I'd definitely check it out because it's

been pretty amazing. It's a little

doable action that is just, that are good, like good little small actions, bite-sized actions that you can do that are non-partisan and just make you a better citizen. They're kind of partisan.

But anyways, go on.

Yeah, sure, say, fuck those assholes.

Oh, you know,

I do a small thing, a small part of a wonderful new podcast that Seth Morris put out called the Seth Morris Radio Project. And it is on

Stitcher Premium. It's on Stitcher Premium and it is

crazy funny. Or the Howell.
Is it on the Howell app? Okay, great. So if you're on the Widow Howl app, get on that.
Go through with that.

It's a super funny kind of

parody of radio, basically. It's really fantastic.
But

you're really dropping the lead, Jason. You're in the animated Batman movie.
Oh, yeah.

Are you?

So excited to see that. I am Scarecrow in Lego Batman.

That's awesome.

But I will say, lower your expectations. It's very few lines.

But very exciting.

I will say you can check out this new series that Rob Hubel and I created called Drive Share. It is an episode a day for 30 days.
It's on Go90. It's totally free.
It's not an app.

You don't have to pay for anything. It's a website and an app.
It's called Drive Share on the Go90, Verizon Go90. Jason's in an episode.
It's super, super fun. It's really funny.

It's so many different people, 120 different rides. Oh, and I'll also say this just because I still want people to watch it.

Paul and I did an episode of the Chris Gethard Show on Fusion that's on YouTube. And if you have not watched it, please find it and watch it.

It's called One Man's Trash, and it is one of the best things. If you want to see Paul and I torture our friend Chris Gethard for 45 minutes, it's amazing.
It is worth it.

Well, I guess that is it. Well, if you had anything that you wanted to say, you can give us a call at 619-PAL Asks.
That's P-A-U-L-A-S-K. 619-PAL Asks.

You can leave it on a message, and then we will play it on our mini-episode.

A big thank you to Averle Halley, cuts all of our clips, July Diaz, Nate Kylie, Marisa Zeitz, Leanna Waldron, everybody here at Largo, and everybody at Earwolf. Thank you so much for coming.
Bye-bye.

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