xXx: Return of Xander Cage LIVE! w/ Adam Scott (HDTGM Matinee)

Change is always happening, but no matter what changes in five years, there's one thing that will stay the same: the price of your internet.

With the Xfiniti five-year price guarantee, you get five years of the most reliable Wi-Fi with our best equipment included, for a price that stays exactly the same.

Restrictions apply, new residential customers only, taxes and fees extra, and subject to change.

Most reliable Wi-Fi based on Open Signal Awards USA, Fixed Broadband Experience Report, August 2024.

At the University of Arizona, we believe that everyone is born with wonder.

That thing that says, I will not accept this world that is.

While it drives us to create what could be,

that world can't wait to see what you'll do.

Where will your wonder take you?

And what will it make you?

The University of Arizona.

Wonder makes you.

Start your journey at wonder.arisona.edu.

Your sausage mcmuffin with egg didn't change.

Your receipt did.

The sausage mcmuffin with egg extra value meal includes a hash brown and a small coffee for just five dollars.

Only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Prices and participation may vary.

More fancy footwork than La La Land.

More emotional resonance than Moonlight.

And it too is based on a true story like Hidden Figures.

We saw the return of the extreme James Bond triple X, the return of Xander Cage.

So you know what that means.

Swarza Naga Grove, baby in his belly.

Rock a rhinestone vest while whipping Justin DeKelly.

Or maybe see a burlesque show with it crow.

And take a boat with speed to hitting cruise control.

J-Man, Big Paul, and the beautiful June.

Gonna take you from the goof all the way to the room.

Random games of Street Fighter helped to blow off steam.

Just to suck a punch the odd life of Timothy Green.

Sharp needle to bird demic, how we staying alive.

They call it in the badass, and he's on the line.

Cranking 88 minutes cause they cool as ice.

Cause the bad Jim Barney looking kind and nice.

Paul and June getting literal.

Jason is getting laid.

June is making sure all the monkey shots getting paid.

They judge a bunch of movies while they're making the grade.

Here's a real question for you: how did this get made?

Welcome!

Just to be in your group.

Hello, people of Earth, and hello, people of Largo.

We are live here in Los Angeles at our favorite place, Largo.

If you're ever in LA, come, come see a show here at Largo at the Coronet.

We have a great show for you tonight.

It is The Return of Xander Cage.

A movie that doesn't even use a number because it's trying to ignore that there was a second one.

It is

the third in a series that does not acknowledge that there were any before.

To join me tonight to dissect this amazing piece of film is the one, the only Jason Manzukes!

What

a jerk!

Welcome, welcome, Jason.

Paul, I saw this movie today.

I was

talking.

I was talking to the audience.

You must have driven far to go see it, right?

I went to Burbank.

Okay, all right, I'll go.

I went to Burbank.

All right, good.

It was Wowzerinos.

Way more people than I thought would be there.

And they did not appreciate me laughing.

I

was, in fact, shushed.

Alone.

If you're wondering,

I saw this film in an empty theater

on a Tuesday night.

I laughed so hard,

like gut belly laugh.

Like,

holy shit.

I haven't had that experience.

I felt like Robert De Niro and Cape Fear.

I could, yeah.

Which I 100% get.

Yes.

Because you also got to the theater underneath someone's car.

Oh,

I gotta save my gas money, right?

This economy, this economy.

I would do this movie every month for a year.

It should never be done.

Please also welcome my other co-host, the lovely, the talented June Diane Rapio.

Welcome.

Welcome, June.

Hi, Paul.

How are you?

Good.

We spoke today.

I saw you earlier today.

A peek behind the curtain.

And

you are a little nervous because we saw this movie on Tuesday.

Yeah, so I don't remember

thinking.

I brought my phone out because

I took notes in the theater.

I hate when people take their phones out in the theater.

You're the only ones there.

We're the only ones there.

And

I realized, oh, I'm going to go back to those notes and really have an understanding of what happened.

And

I feel like I've forgotten more after reading them.

Because

we try to time this podcast out so almost the minute the movie ends, you're in a car going to record.

Because it is leaving you.

You're watching it in the car.

Yeah.

It is leaving you.

It's like memento.

It is coming.

It's going out.

This movie,

as I'm watching it, I'm forgetting it.

It's the craziest experience where.

June just found out while you were introing the show that there was a second Triple X.

I had no idea.

I thought this was.

And her mind,

her mind was blown, which, because I was like, well, dude, did you understand?

That's why Ice Cube came in?

And she was like, no.

No.

No, no, no, no.

Paul said, when when Ice Cube came in at the end, Paul said to me, Oh, he was in the other movie.

So I just assumed that was the first.

I thought this was the return.

Oh, okay.

I see what you're saying.

So you're kind of the perfect Vin Diesel audience member because you just disregarded the second one

entirely.

Yeah, well, I had never seen it.

I mean, or maybe I have.

Who knows?

Who can say?

I did feel though when we.

I think that's the title of your memoirs, right?

Who can say?

Who can say?

I did feel when we were in that theater, we had a really terrible.

What I do remember about this night was the theater going experience that we had.

Well, it was a pretty bad one.

Yeah, we did.

We could, yeah, let's lay it down.

You know what?

What I realized

tonight was that I think we had a bad experience at this theater, and I'm not going to name it,

but it wasn't great.

It's like one of those places where they serve you food and liquor, but they don't serve you food and liquor.

But there was nobody there

to serve us.

Like literally, there wasn't a single person in the theater.

You had to leave the theater.

Were you encouraged to get your own?

You had to leave the theater and go across the street.

You had to go outside in the rain.

In the rain.

A beverage.

It was insane.

The guy ran the bar, and then he was like, well, do you need help carrying up these beverages and snacks?

Whatever.

There are bigger problems in the world right now, you guys.

But I will say,

I recognize that, but I will say, I walked into the theater thinking, I got to get water.

I got to get water immediately, and the server is going to be over any minute.

No server.

No server ever arrived.

You were worried about your mouth having enough moisture to water at the sight of Vin Diesel.

Were you like, I know I'm going to see a real hunk, so I got to have that.

That's great.

And I enjoyed him.

I really did.

But then I realized it was a terrible theater-going experience, but then I realized it was actually payback for a theater-going experience we had, I think, in that theater where we ate a plate of sushi at a screening of House Bunny.

What are you talking about?

What are you even talking about?

Because you're telling me

you ate

sushi.

No, I'm saying.

We've seen a movie theater.

We sat with a background.

That's like light-aid sushi.

That's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it wasn't served at the place.

It was a place.

But we brought it.

Oh, and we brought it.

Okay, okay.

I thought it was like sushi.

You can get like

a pup burger or sushi.

No, no, no.

We were more disgusting in the fact that we brought in hot food and weird food and we're eating it and smells are coming out of the back of the house bunny theater.

Now there were many people in the theater, but I've lived with that shame for many, many years.

Do you feel better?

No, but when that happened with the whole water situation at Return of Sander Cage, where I hadn't had a sip of water all day.

Again, so many bigger problems right now.

Oh, but your hydration is

a sip of water all day.

I don't think I have.

Are you one of

nine swell bottles in our house?

I know.

They're all the big ones.

They're all the ones that don't fit.

We're getting it.

You guys have a lot of double-walled water bottles.

Anyway, I think that I've done my penance and the house bunny situation.

I've done my mic penance and the house bunny situation is, you know, I'm absolved of it.

All right.

Well, we do have another guest.

By the way, though, if one of the recurring segments is how is the movie theater you saw this in,

I'm not upset with it.

People are always begging us to do movies that are in the theater.

Well, this is, you're going to hear this now.

I love seeing movies in the theater.

I really do.

I'm really ashamed of what happened at House Bunny.

I really.

House Bunny is also a while ago.

It was.

You carried this for this long.

Yes.

Like, free yourself.

Sorry.

Well, you are free.

No, no.

Because this movie bears so much similarity to Fast and the Furious.

We have brought an expert

in Vendeezo.

Please welcome from the upcoming HBO show, Big Little Lies, from the current show on Netflix, Michael Bolton's big sexy Valentine's Day special.

And you can see him on season one of the good place, Adam Scott.

It's good to have this family back together.

Sure is.

I want to hear more about this movie theater where you have to cross the street to get a Coke.

That sounds awesome.

It really, it was like they were trying to go for like the Alamo draft house, but instead they're going bankrupt.

Were they like, we honestly honestly did not think anybody was coming tonight because of this movie no like i there is not a like a single person there

and there was one guy one guy manning the bar and he seemed surprised to see us

okay what paul says there's not a single person there he means not just in the theater we saw it at in the entire movie theater we walked into a ghost town like eight

there was not a single person there

and they did a weird thing like you know but when you walk in the theater they have like posters of all the movies, but like the poster for this wasn't high enough resolution, so it was like really like pixelated.

What?

And I've never even seen the poster that they had.

It was like, it was, it was real, like, low-level

were all eight screens showing triple X?

Yeah, they were like, if I were in that company, they would be.

I agree with Jason.

I would watch this movie again

right now.

Oh, yeah.

So let's do it.

Yep.

Roll it.

No, this is a difficult thing.

You can just come straight out and say, I fucking had a great time watching this movie.

This is, to me, like a thank God this got made.

Yeah.

Awesome.

It essentially is Vin Diesel fanfic written by Vin Diesel.

Yeah.

It feels, looks, and sounds like it was made up as it went along.

Yes.

And the return of Xander Cage, meaning he just skipped the middle one.

And he did the same thing with Fest and Fierce.

That means he's created a sub-genre of multi-billion dollar franchises.

Well, not in this case, but

franchises that he skips over one movie because he thinks he's too awesome, but then comes back to it.

He's never has stepped away from Riddick, has he?

No.

He will.

But you know what?

He's always like, I'm going to let this one rest.

I will say, while not a success here in the United States, this is why Vin Diesel is a genius.

He casts it with one giant celebrity from every continent.

So the movie does become successful.

It was 85.

I knew that Penguin was in it for a reason.

It was

80.

I mean, they haven't done a movie since then.

I really like that.

It was made for $85 million.

but already made $131 million.

It's like, it is a worldwide movie.

This doesn't surprise me.

Yeah, it's the number one movie in the world, just not here in the continental United States.

Everyone here is like, fuck that.

No, sorry.

Oh,

this movie makes like $280 million.

Internationally, it's going to be massive.

Well, yeah, because they have the cameo from the soccer star at the beginning, and then like seven minutes later, another reference to soccer and how awesome it is.

I'm like, oh, this is for the world.

This is

his entire team.

There's no one on his team really that is American at all.

He's the only guy.

And I bet you if you cornered him, he'd say he's not American either, just because he likes to keep the allure up about himself.

Well, I like him to keep that allure up.

I don't know about you.

Me too.

I love him.

Well, I love him?

Is what you just said?

Like, love.

I mean, I don't know.

I think he's very sexy.

What?

No?

Yeah.

I've met him before.

So does he.

Yeah.

I think he's a very sexy guy.

In the world of June, arguably it would be me, Ernest, and

Ben Diesel as

your top three.

Yeah.

How many Ernest movies have you guys done?

One.

Oh, you just did one.

This is one.

I think just one.

We should revisit.

I don't know if June could handle it.

Well, no, the only Ernest I like is

evil Earnest, yeah.

I think that that may be a trope of every Earnest movie.

I mean, there might be an evil version of it.

The crazy thing about the opening of this movie is

when I saw him flying down the hills on skateboards and such,

how is he on a skateboard?

He's

physically possible for him to skateboard.

I can explain how.

They put his face on a person's skateboard.

What?

What?

That's what...

In my notes, I have a note here that says, can Vin do any of these things?

I broke on the skate thing.

I was like,

because

he jumps off of a tower and he has skis on, lands on a hillside, not snow.

Jungle.

Jungle.

Jungle and skis down a mountain.

There are poles, right?

Yeah, right where he lands.

The spot where he lands.

So he can grab the poles and go.

I was actually thinking to myself, I was like, the thing that's so funny about that is picturing him like in the jungle before he did this, going like, put the poles

here.

And then.

Yeah, this is the place.

Him doing all of these things is absolutely impossible.

And I wrote that down too.

I was like, I feel like if you said Vin Diesel's never driven a motorcycle, I'd be like, yeah, I've totally.

I believe.

Never been near one at all.

But it's funny that he is associated himself as the extreme sports star,

but doesn't do any of that.

Nothing.

No.

Bizarre.

My favorite scene is coming up right in the top of the movie, which is where he, I thought, met his girlfriend, but apparently it seems to be a stranger.

Yep.

Yep.

Somebody bones and then it's like, you can have that shirt, baby.

And then it's like, I don't know.

Four minutes into the introduction of his character and he is fucking.

Yes.

But then, okay.

So, let me ask you this: this is my thing.

Let me ask you this because I felt this way.

Because then he fucks that woman, and then Tony Colette comes and is like, You got to come back to Triple X.

And he's like, Fine, I'm in.

And then they go, and then he's flirting with

Nina Dobrev, I guess.

And I'm like, Hey, man, don't you have a girlfriend?

He doesn't.

No.

I was like, oh man, don't be such a dick to your girlfriend.

Well, when you find out that Vin Diesel is doing all this extreme sports stuff just to bring soccer to a small island of villagers,

Island of villagers?

Salt mine.

We measure this grouping of villages as an island.

But like he

basically the girl's like, great job.

And you're like, oh, they know each other.

They don't.

And that's the thing.

It's like, and it's...

I felt like they knew each other, but she was his island gal.

And that he can't be tied down, you know?

But then he leaves her a skateboard with a note on it that says, don't hurt yourself.

Don't fall.

Don't fall.

I assume don't fall for me.

Don't fall in love.

Don't fall for me.

I thought.

I don't know.

Maybe he's not that smart.

I thought he was literally like...

Don't fall.

I thought it was like, here, the first rule of skateboarding.

Don't fall.

Yeah.

Like, and no, no.

No subtext.

This movie is no subtext, all text.

And I will underline it with my favorite scene in the movie, which is when Vin Diesel comes, in this movie, you cut to a salt plant where like salt is coming out of a tractor.

A couple of

very vocal audience members.

It just confirms for once and for all that Vin Diesel shoots salt out of his penis.

Can you imagine?

They're all just burning their vagina.

Someone came inside you and it just was rock salt.

Like what you would put out after an ice storm.

Is what they were like, we'll cut to that.

I just also love, it's not even like sexy or romantic just a salt just

just a solid white dump like super dusty and dry and shitty

i'm gonna i'm gonna drop a bunch of particles on you

i'm gonna fill you full of crystal

as a small business owner your business is always on your mind so when you're hiring you need a partner who is just as dedicated as you and that hiring partner is LinkedIn Jobs.

That's right.

When you clock out, LinkedIn clocks in.

They make it easy for you to post your job for free, share it with your network and get qualified candidates that you can manage all in one place.

And LinkedIn's new feature can help you write job descriptions, then quickly get your job in front of the right people with deep candidate insights.

You can post your job for free or choose to promote it.

Promoted jobs attract three times more qualified applicants, so post your job for free at linkedin.com slash valuable.

That's linkedin.com slash valuable to post your job for free.

Terms and conditions apply.

Tron Aries has arrived.

I would like you to meet Aries, the ultimate AI soldier.

He is biblically strong and supremely intelligent.

You think you're in control of this?

You're not.

On October 10th.

What are you?

My world is coming to destroy yours, but I can help you.

The war for our world begins in IMAX.

Tron Aries, rated PG-13.

Maybe inappropriate for children under 13.

Only in theaters October 10th.

Get tickets now.

Your sausage mumbuffin with egg didn't change.

Your receipt did.

The sausage mamuffin with egg extra value meal includes a hash brown and a small coffee for just $5.

Only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Prices and participation may vary.

Does Does anyone else think that the like?

I don't remember the first one super well.

So I didn't know if, did the first one, the Vin Diesel one, have this like weird comedy tone they were trying to

hit?

Because this definitely

it was a lot of like that Vin Diesel smirk where it was like

some he walks out of a restaurant, some guy throws him his keys.

He's like, park it for me.

And he's like, ha ha ha ha.

And then he like just takes the Ferrari and drives off a cliff and then parachutes out of it.

And he's like,

I parked it.

You know, it's like that.

It was like.

And then, like,

yeah.

So it's like that's classic, like, rap rock time.

So there was like

zingers.

Yeah.

But it wasn't like Nina Dobrev, who I think honestly was one of my favorite characters in the show.

100%.

She did a great job.

She seller job.

Yeah.

Oh, she did.

She selled her some.

She was great.

But but we're all in on Nina Dope.

Oh, yeah.

I do think that they added some of her stuff in afterwards, though, because like if I was watching this before the show, and I was like, it looks like they were like, oh, you know, we need to add some like comedy here.

So watch this scene and you at home, listen to it.

They don't share the screen at all.

So here we go.

Xander Cage, this is crazy.

I was at Coachella and Guns N' Roses got back together, but this is way cooler.

Breathe.

Take your time.

I know mouth to mouth if necessary.

She's nowhere around.

Clearage worked closely with Gibbons.

She'll handle support for the operation.

And I bet a guy like you needs a lot of support.

What are you?

Like 220, 230?

Be honest, 250 is like the hard max for my swing.

Oh, come on.

I'm kidding.

It's not like I have a safe word or anything.

It's come quiet.

Come quiet.

Well, she was very good.

Maybe I didn't watch it.

I loved it.

Yeah.

I loved it.

I loved every minute of it.

It was also like, it's been a while since the first one.

And so scenes like that, I was like, why is this like 48-year-old man hitting on this little girl?

It was kind of weird.

Well, if you're a woman in the world of this movie, you so want to fuck Vendetta.

That's all you want to do.

So much so that you will put your job in jeopardy to sexually harass him in front of your boss.

I can understand it, but i i did feel like the women in the movie now this is the first time i've really seen nina dobrev in anything and i think she's wonderful and so for me the movie was a nice introduction to nina dobrev but

but

the other scene not to jump ahead who cares about jumping ahead but it's basically five scenes in the movie that other scene where he meets that hacker whoever that young woman is, those girls seemed underage.

Well, that girl,

she's a great grandma, but she seems underage.

The orgy that happens to him?

Yeah.

You mean the orgy that happens?

They did basically force themselves on him.

He's like, okay.

And they all just like disappear.

He's like, I'm not from my country.

In a jacket that looks like only what I can describe as a woolly vagina.

It looks like that jacket looks like

being born out of a 70s bush.

It really does.

But was that jacket like a huge thing in the first movie?

Because he goes to London to get the jacket

might be there and then they have this whole entrance for him in this jacket.

Yes, it'd be weirder rain.

It's a coat.

It's the worst jacket to wear in the rain.

Yeah, they're terrible.

He then also has like three other very weird jackets.

Yeah, they're coats, you guys.

They're all coats.

They have a whole like

suitcase full of douchey jackets.

Right.

From the well,

the jacket is kind of like his Aston Martin

the director was like we needed to put this jacket back into it really

I have an update DJ Caruso you did not

Because Bin Diesel's like people respond to the jacket so much so because Mark Zuckerberg bought the jacket from the first triple L

and gave it to his like best friend.

What on earth are you talking about?

Why wasn't that in the social networks?

Because they couldn't get the jacket.

Orkin, rewrite, Fincher, Rishus.

So they were like, this is the quote.

It says, Mark Zuckerberg bought that jacket and gave it to his right-hand man because one of their mantras was, I live for this shit, right?

Which, okay.

So realizing that that jacket is this shit.

How does that come into context at Facebook?

I get it when you're about to do some sort of extreme sport.

I love, live for this shit, right?

Let's jump off this,

whatever.

But like at Facebook.

Let's add emoticons to these comments.

I live for this shit.

So Mark Zuckerberg bought the jacket.

There was such folklore built around the jacket, and Vin loved the idea of the jacket.

He said, you got to find a way to get that jacket back in the movie.

It wasn't even in the script.

It was on a whim.

So that they

shot away.

We just threw this.

Exactly what you said.

They just were making it up as they went along.

Oh, my God.

I like that in this movie, though, Xander Xander Cage, which was definitely not in the first movie, also was a little bit like Benedict Cumberbatch's Sherlock.

Like when they capture him in that little square thing.

I knew because you were this,

and his fingernail had a thing on it, and her eyebrow was cocked up, and his shoe had no scruff on it, and that guy was buying a magazine, and that busted it.

Here's the thing.

None of that stuff that he observed, none of it made sense.

None of it.

And after he said each one and they showed them, I still didn't understand.

And by the way, all he needed to say, which was obvious, was the guy, the most important person, the guy that sat next to him, basically gave the whole thing away.

Yeah.

Like, don't say I didn't warn you.

He was terrible.

So why even bother selecting a bunch of other stuff?

Like, oh, no, that guy was terrible.

It was obvious.

It was fake.

And also, when Tony Collette comes up to him

and tells him, okay, we need you.

And he's like, okay.

And he gets up and starts following her up.

they're in like the tropics, right?

They're in South America.

Is that what we're there?

So he's wearing, he's wearing,

he has like raw denim that's been rolled up to his knee with big boots, but it looks like so uncomfortable.

You know how raw denim and like tightly rolled up against your skin?

Oh, yeah.

It's like 80 grit sand.

It's terrible.

Oh, and then, well, okay.

And then he's got a, he meets his team, and I love that they pair him up with the squares, the military guys.

Oh, man.

This is the most insulting scene to the military in any movie

ever.

He ejects them out of a plane.

Like, SEAL Team Six, basically, is there to help him

get the bad guys.

I still don't know who the bad guys were.

They have to send SEAL Team Six in.

They have to send this fucking asshole.

This is a fucking asshole.

A 55-year-old asshole.

And by the way,

that's the thing I did not understand about this movie because I didn't see the other XXXs.

So what is so special about them?

They're extreme.

Yep.

They're just extreme in every way.

Like, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't he recruited in the first one because he's good at extreme sports?

Yeah.

Well, you guys saw that.

That's it.

You guys saw the opening of this movie with Sam Jackson giving a powerful monologue, which, by the way, kills it.

Always.

But did they put the hair on him in that first scene?

And then at the end, he's like, no hair.

Yeah.

Like on day two of shooting, he's like, you know what?

I don't want to do that hair thing anymore.

So I'm going to come an hour and a half later, and we're going to just shoot me without the hair.

It doesn't matter.

By the way, also, I'm going to wear my own glasses because I don't want to do that.

And I'll wear an eye patch because I'm just coming from the set of the Avengers movie.

I feel like the next step for Sam Jackson is for his role in the movie to literally just be footage of him going to the bank and depositing a check.

And it will still, it will still, on many occasions, be the best scene in the movie.

Absolutely.

I mean, that opening monologue is just amazing.

It was amazing.

But this is what I don't understand about the Triple X team.

So are they all athletes?

No.

Right?

All extreme.

Some are athletes, some are extreme sports stars, and some people just like the crash cars.

And some are DJs.

Okay.

Yeah, one of them literally is a DJ.

His special skill is people like him.

Yes.

He knows when to drop that beat.

Every time a new character is introduced, there's a freeze frame and Chiron comes up and they say like, special skills, favorite karaoke, go-to.

Call of Duty handle.

And when

what's his name from Game of Thrones, the...

The Hound.

The Hound.

He's in it.

Sander Clagagen.

It says.

his longest relationship was his rugby mouthpiece.

Yes, that's what he keeps putting in his mouth.

That was super fair.

I thought that was, I'll be honest, I thought that was the best romance of the movie.

Way in his rugby mouthpiece.

The best romance was the unseen romance.

This guy dated.

Taylor Swift and Lady Gaga in the same night.

In the same night.

I thought the same name is a weated word.

It should say this guy fucked them in the same night.

Dated seems like he courted them there was a suitable relationship and that means that's the i like that two very nice first dates with those women that means he had access to a time pocket and he was able to go in and date in court and i want to see that movie just running from table to table at a restaurant brady bunch style

oh no i made two dates lady gaga and taylor swift

Did you guys catch the joke when after these guys come in and assassinate a whole room full of people and they're kind of assessing the damage afterwards somebody says these a-holes came in here took out the best of the best like it was Sunday brunch

I'm almost positive that was Tony Collette wasn't it did she say that she saw that Tony Collette was fantastic Tony Colette is the bad guy in this movie or well not quite bad guy but the

she delivered the shittiest lines with such authority

yeah like she was like I feel like they were like oh Tony, so your part was written horribly.

So you are going to have to chew the scenery like nobody else can.

And she's like, I got this.

And scene after scene crushes.

Yeah, the best.

She was one of my favorite parts of this.

I wrote down some of her lines, too.

She wrote,

We need someone who can walk into a tornado and come out like it was a gentle breeze.

That's right.

She also, she also said,

and I've never seen anyone say this in a serious way, Ollie, Ollie, oxen free.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

That's the denim rolled-up scene.

Yeah, yeah.

She fucking killed her.

She killed him as the men.

She did.

Great.

And I don't even think that she understands the plot because the plot was...

Let me ask this:

where had Xander Cage been that he's returning from?

Well, he was going around getting soccer on TV for people.

But where does he end up?

He's some sort of Robin Hood character in the Dominican Republic.

So after the first end.

In the second movie, the way that we're to believe it in the world is in the second movie, because he was such a dick about this.

This is in our world.

That girl went to Coachella.

So this

is that kind of tethered it to the

Triple X program must be somewhat real, right?

Oh, it's happening.

Oh, 100%, Jason.

Good.

I'm just glad that I got that clear.

Yeah, stop being so fucking stupid.

So

he,

in the second movie, Vin Diesel was such an ass in dropping out and wanting to get so much money that the directors or whatever decided we're going to make sure that he can never come back.

So they spend the first five minutes of the movie killing Xander Cage, which is just a bald guy running around that you never see his face.

You go, he's in there, he's in there, he's in there.

And you just see, like,

you know, just like quick moves and never see his face.

And then then they blow up a building,

and then from the building, like you know, like debris comes down, but his face, not his head,

like as if you ripped off like Westworld, like front of face,

like hits the pavement.

The bad guy picks it up like a pancake and dangles Vin Diesel's face.

He goes, That's the end of the triple X program,

and then that's it, like done.

So, do you think that in this movie it's that guy wearing Vin's face?

Yes.

Is that what we are to believe?

Is that that guy puts Vin's face on, becomes the Robin Hood of the Dominican Republic, just so that the XXX program will invite him back, and then he, a bad guy, they now think is Xander Cage,

can come back in.

Wow, I love that.

And.

Better movie.

And also, I had a question because his name,

well, I guess he has Triple X tattooed on the back of his neck, which is a tough thing.

If you're like FBI, you don't want to tattoo that

on your body.

Right.

That's like doing

undercover.

Yeah.

Sorry, not only is it like blows your cover, but also he quit the Triple X program years ago.

He still is a stupid fucking tattoo.

Right on the back of the neck.

And like people,

like the woman who's the.

We haven't identified any of the characters.

Well, he's got it's it's Tony Colette, Vin Diesel, then Vin Diesel as his team.

Yeah, but then there's the team of bad guys, which is Donnie Yen's team.

Donnie Yen, just unstoppable.

Yeah, he's great.

Just unstoppable.

I wish Tony Jaw had done more.

I'm a big Tony Jaw fan.

I wish he had done more.

The bad guys had their headquarters on a beach.

It was referred

as a kind of jungle rave.

Yeah, that's how it was described in the movie.

It's apparently some kind of jungle rave, and that's where they go.

And it was an app description.

It was populated of beautiful women that bad guys hang out at.

That's it.

It's like Bad Guy Island.

But then, all of a sudden, in the movie, I did eventually, I have to say, I did eventually fall asleep for a while.

Because

I went to a 10 p.m.

show last night.

We will act it up.

But before that happened,

the

other.

Yeah, it was one of the things that I was like, I fell asleep in theaters off.

Yeah, we were in those two.

We were in those two.

Yeah, it's hard.

And then I have to say danger to them.

I have to say, after the movie ended, I woke up, saw the last half hour or so, then got up, walked out.

It was about midnight.

I was walking out and I was like, oh, Rogue One's playing.

Maybe I'll go in and watch like 15 minutes because it had just started.

So I went in and sat down, woke up an hour later,

freezing.

Like, what am I doing here?

I have to get out.

So somebody

like, oh, hang on a second.

Yeah.

Lying this plane.

No, whoa, Lego Batman.

Someone needs to bring Adam home.

Hey, but, but I woke up.

Hey, something weird happened the other night at Adam's call, wandering around, sleeping in theaters.

I think he might be celebr homeless.

Before I fell asleep, it did happen that Vin Diesel and his crew just, all of a sudden, they're at the headquarters for the bad guys.

Yeah.

They just show up there.

Yes.

Yes.

I didn't get how they were.

And they got their location from those young women.

Oh, yeah.

No, because he goes, I know a ghost hunter.

Yes.

And he goes to Amy

who's from the first movie.

That's the girl who gets out of the pool and it's the crotch shot up.

She's in the first movie.

Wait, was she a 10-year-old?

Yeah,

she's

literally like

years old.

This girl looks old.

She's going to double-check, but I'm pretty sure that that was her whole thing, is that she's like the connection to the first movie.

That's the thing.

There were lots of references as if we had all seen the movie.

The first movie 10 minutes ago.

And by the way, yeah,

it was almost a decade ago.

Yeah.

Yeah, let's see.

All right, so Triple X.

I'm going to look for Ainsley.

Yeah,

it came out in 2002.

So anyway,

so the hackers give him the names of

Donnie Yen's team, and then they find that they're in the Philippines, and that's when Vin assembles his team, and they're like we're going to the Philippines and then they drive up and about and people are like who the fuck are you he has triple X tattooed on himself right he could not be also a more famous person right he's like a famous extreme sport

yeah that's right sport so mustn't people be like oh fuck Xander Cage I saw you fucking flip over a bunch of buses

and TV I don't know if there's a crowd that knows the extreme sports world it's definitely this crowd so they would know him they're in it yeah they're um, oh, I don't know if she was in the first movie.

Maybe I, wow, I thought they made some sort of connection.

I mean, it was gross, like, he walked in, they still say, she was in Rogue Nation, she was in Mission Impossible.

I was wrong, yeah.

So, she was, I thought that was a crossover.

Look, basically, this movie has money.

One of the other people is Ethan Hunt in one of his masks.

Right?

It's Philip Seymour Hoffman.

This is

Mish.

This is Xander Triple X, the return of Xander Cage, colon Mission Impossible 7

But then Ice Cube too.

I was psyched when Ice Cube came out.

Me too.

That was great because it showed me that Vin respected the franchise.

Oh, yeah.

Let bygones be bygones, bro.

But

he still made Ice Cube say like an incredibly sycophantic line to him at the end of the movie, which is like, I couldn't believe I was going to work with the legend Xander Cage or Whatever line he had that was meant to explain his utter reverence for Vin Diesel.

And he gives him back his car.

He's like, yeah.

And here's your car, man.

He drives up in Vin Diesel's car.

He's like, okay.

Nice ride.

He's like, I kept it for you.

Where are they?

They're in Detroit, right?

Yes.

Where is Ice Cube?

When they call nine.

Yeah.

And they're like, we're in trouble.

We're in Detroit.

He just is there.

Like,

he must live in Detroit.

No, he probably has his own little plane too.

Does that car fly?

Yeah, by the way.

I wondered that.

By the way, that scene with the Nina Debrev scene we watched earlier, that takes place on an airplane that's flying in the air.

It's a giant one, it's a shit.

A giant airplane with a control room, and they're all walking around.

With a great set piece later when they're all flying.

But by the way, talking about these guys in the airplanes, when he knocks out, we talked about how he knocks out SEAL Team 6.

Then like later on in the movie, they're back on that plane yeah and they're not like hey man you tried to kill us yeah

like how why would you re-up for that assignment like

like and by the way i thought they weren't going to be dead they didn't they weren't wearing parachutes they were just attached to a lot of box but certainly seemed like he murdered them yeah they are all yes then they are all killed But they came back and they're like, hey.

Well, they're SEAL Team 6.

I trusted they would be okay.

Oh, yeah, then they're okay.

What happened was they're on the airplane, and Tony Colette's like, these these are the guys that are going to help us out.

These are the best and the brightest, the guys, you know, SEAL Team Six or whatever.

And he's like, oh yeah?

And he starts asking them dumb questions, I guess, to trick their mind into things.

And then he hooks them onto a big piece of freight and then just pushes a button and they all fly out of the airplane.

Like they all were attached to that big thing already.

Well, he's walking behind them.

Oh, yeah.

Yes,

hooking them onto it.

Yeah.

Because

SEAL Team Six is not too swift.

I feel like they tried to greeto shot first this because as he's walking up, you hear the tall guy go,

say something like, oh, what's he gonna do?

Like, show us how to like kick flip on a skateboard?

Or something.

He, like,

there's an ADR line that you see Vin be like,

okay.

And then he, like, boots them all out of there.

So it's, it's justified.

But by the way, again, every one of these decisions, it is like if no one else waited in on a fast and furious script.

He's like, it is.

It's like, then I knock them all out of the plane, then that girl fucks me, and then the younger girl, she like wants me, then my motorcycle turns into a boat, and then I'm flying, and then we're in outer space, and the satellites are blowing up, and like, and then he's back.

And the whole opening title sequence is looking at every detail on a satellite.

Yeah, that was the best.

It was the whole opening credit sequence was just every detail of a satellite.

And a very like, it was so shitty.

It was like the most uninteresting opening.

Pointless.

By the way, one of the facts in the plane was it could circumnavigate the globe three times.

Yep.

Without being refueled.

It's like, cool.

I would like to point out something that is now a frequent occurrence.

This is the second time in a movie where...

The hero has been given a gun that is full of blanks that he shoots at all the people.

It happened in Escape from LA and here, where he gets the gun and is like,

knowing or not knowing that it's blanks.

Like, who continues to put blanks in guns that people,

the planning would be insane in both cases.

It's pointless to fill a gun full of blanks and then give it to someone.

And just to prove a point, he just fires it into a crowd of civilians.

Yeah.

Like, kids and strollers.

He was wrong.

Yeah.

Now, I had a hard time, honestly, and I said this to you, Paul, while we were watching it.

I found that scene to be socially, really irresponsible.

I had a lot of trouble with that scene.

I will say, though, that the people in that town had supreme confidence in him because they didn't seem to flinch when the fire

not one flinched.

Yeah, no one died for him.

Maybe

they're positing the idea that every single person in that square but him is with them.

That is exactly what they were trying to say.

That is exactly what they were trying.

Yes, it is.

Really?

Absolutely.

And it's bonkers.

Wow.

Oh, that is.

This movie just got better.

Yeah.

Because she's like, how did you know it was fake?

And he's like, that guy over there.

And it's all the way across the square.

Some guy buying a magazine.

He's like, he's not using the right type of pesos.

He literally saw a teaser trailer for the BBC Sherlock.

He's like, I want to do that.

So true.

Most of us don't think twice about liver health until something feels off.

When your liver is under strain, you feel it: fatigue, brain fog, sluggish recovery after a weekend of one too many cocktails or indulgent meals.

Well, if you're ready to say goodbye to an occasional bloating and hello to renewed energy, you need to know about the 1MDs nutrition's liver MD.

Liver MD is an award-winning physician-formulated supplement developed by a GI doctor.

It features seven clinically studied ingredients, including patented forms of milk thistle and vitamin vitamin E, and the results speak for themselves.

80% of liver MD users reported significant improvements in liver enzyme tests, along with better energy, digestion, mental clarity, and reduced bloating.

Plus, 90% of users rate Liver MD better than the competitors.

Join the over 1.5 million people already thriving with Liver MD.

Forget ineffective detox drinks.

Your liver needs clinical grade support.

Visit 1MD.org and use the code bonkers to save 15% on your first order of liver MD.

That's 1MD.org and use code BONKERS.

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.

This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

You know, life can get busy for all of us.

So it's important for us to pause every now and then and ask yourself a very important question.

Have you had your Hershey's?

You know what I'm I'm talking about.

That delicious, classic, creamy texture, that pure milk chocolate flavor that only comes with Hershey's milk chocolate.

It brightens up your day, it puts a smile on your face.

And whether you're eating it on the go, breaking off a few pieces for s'mores night, or just treating yourself to something sweet while you kick back and stream your favorite shows, Hershey's milk chocolate checks all the boxes.

I mean, now with kids, I find any reason to go and make it a s'mores night, A, because it's fun, and B, I get a little bit of my Hershey's milk chocolate.

You know, I love a Hershey's milk chocolate bar right in my cupboard.

So when the kids are asleep and everyone's in bed, I can have the perfect nightcap.

Shop for Hershey's milk chocolate now at a store near you.

Found wherever candy is sold.

Cooler temps are rolling in and as always, Quince is where you should be turning for your fall staples that actually last.

I love quince.

From their cashmere to their denim to their boots, the quality holds up and the prices will blow you away.

Quince has the kind of fall staples that you'll wear non-stop, like super soft, 100% Mongolian cashmere sweater starting at $60.

Their denim is durable and it fits right, and their real leather jackets bring that clean, classic edge.

Now, what makes Quince different?

Well, they partner directly with Ethical Factories and skip the middlemen.

So you get top-tier fabrics and craftsmanship for half the price of similar brands.

I love Quince.

They got these cool, stretchy pants that I love.

I call them my travel pants, but I also love the simple button-down.

Guys, you can't go wrong in a nice, well-fitted, good-looking button-down, and not one that you've had hanging up in your closet for six years.

Quince allows you to refresh your wardrobe, get new stuff, nice stuff, look presentable once in a while, okay?

Keep it classic and cozy this fall with long-lasting staples from Quince.

Go to quince.com/slash bonkers for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

That's q-u-i-n-ce-e.com/slash bonkers for free shipping and 365-day returns.

Quince.com/slash bonkers.

This is the scene that made June upset because you got upset, then you look down and you miss the thing that's going to really get you upset.

So, I'm going to not even set it up.

I'll just play.

This is kind of the meat-cute of the movie

a little bit.

All right.

Let me guess.

Gibbons to the rescue.

Yep.

He said a lion like me doesn't belong in any kind of cage.

She shows off her tattoo.

What about that one on your wrist?

London, 2009.

Climb the millennium wheel.

Naked.

Naked?

Yeah.

High school.

We all have our embarrassing moments.

Okay, first of all, I was asleep during that scene.

I don't remember that at all.

I have never seen that before.

You are welcome.

Yeah, thank you.

I just watched that with fresh eyes.

For sure.

That's your boy's Nip.

Why would you climb that thing naked?

That's why it feels like a 12-year-old royal.

Yeah.

I climbed it.

Naked.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now, now let's go look at my death Playboys.

I can't believe Uncle Vin's paying us to write this movie.

By the way, I'm really just putting some things together as I've been sitting here.

Oh, yeah.

Again, I'm going to say, this may be the first time we have to redo a movie.

Yeah, I'm really putting some things together.

And the main one is that I did not realize he was an extreme sport.

What?

I didn't.

Now look, you have to imagine, I know, I.

I really did it.

Okay.

What?

Look at this.

Please look at this the way I'm looking at it.

Just for a second, you know nothing about this movie.

When I say nothing, I mean you do nothing.

Well,

you have a point.

Thank you.

I don't know I'm doing a lot of people.

Via Extreme Skipping.

Not really.

Forest skiing.

No, extreme.

Skateboarding.

Not in a competitive way.

I just see a guy.

Exactly.

I guess so.

I guess so.

I don't see a person.

You have a footage of him on ESPN's Extreme James.

All I'm saying is I see a gentleman who starts skateboarding and then...

Could be a James Bond type person.

That's what I'm saying.

I was just like, oh, I guess this is.

He's Extreme James Bond.

Yeah, there was nothing that I...

I just never thought this was his thing.

I don't know if he was professionally ranked.

I think he's just a guy who does.

But I feel like he was sponsored.

In the first movie,

as far as I remember, it starts with him winning a championship on ESPN2 or whatever it was.

So, you know,

June's right.

They don't establish it at all.

It's the most presumptuous movie in the sense that they're just assuming we all know everything about this guy.

So he doesn't really refer to himself.

Like the scene we were just talking about in the, you know, when he goes into the middle of that village and knows everything about everyone, I just think he's a very skilled guy.

You know,

there was nothing specific about

that.

What makes it even further confusing is Samuel Jackson is recruiting a soccer player, which is not extreme sports, just sports.

That's why I asked before, are they all athletes?

And then the guy from Game of Thrones,

he's not also extreme sports.

He just is a guy who crashes cars, and then I would go even further to go, the guy of the DJ is a DJ.

So these are just people who may go to a rave.

Like, that's what the Triple X program is.

How about the way in which Sam Jackson recruits the soccer gentleman at the beginning?

You have that?

I have just the end of that scene.

Oh, great.

That's all we have.

Did you guys know this was a real soccer player?

I thought that was a good idea.

I had a scene when he couldn't act.

I was like,

this is amazing.

Wow, putting that guy on blast.

When you watch this opening scene, first of all, Sam Jackson does like a full, like, three-page monologue.

Straight to camera, by the way.

It is all.

He wants to care, yeah.

And I'll bet you that was max two takes, and he was out of there.

He's a badass.

And then he's like, the guy's like, I don't want to join.

I don't want to join.

And he's like okay bye yeah this is him

on the ground now

give me no money

You say you're no hero

He the soccer player picks up a napkin dispenser kicks it a little bit to then get a really really good kick to then knock it in that guy's head.

Do you think his whole approach is soccer-based to being like a triple X member?

Yes.

That's

precisely what they're saying.

That's crazy.

Yes.

I can understand like you're a peak athlete.

We will train you in all this other stuff.

But no.

What we need from you is legs.

We need you to.

We've got a bunch of guys who do shooting and punching.

We need a bunch of guys who can do legs.

The DJ, when he does his battle strangles someone with headphones Yeah, like like he's within his work

This is what I do

It's very similar to Fast and the Furious in that it's a very narrow application of like Fast and the Furious they save the world literally with cars and that's why the whole movie I mean even though I had seen some of extreme sporting earlier on, I didn't see well, I guess he was on that jet ski thing.

I don't know.

I I kept on wondering, well, what's his skill?

But the jet ski thing was like an imaginary thing that isn't real.

That doesn't exist?

I don't know.

I hope you hope in an order when it looked like fuck.

Do you have footage?

I do have the footage of them on the

motorcycles that just are built to transform into

wave riders, which would be hell on an engine.

And it seemed like both of them were aware that this is what they were going to do.

Yeah.

And here's, by the way, the one thing to point out in the scene, you can't see it if you're at home, is it starts at night.

Oh, and ends.

And ends, I wrote that too.

Ends in full daylight.

And I was like, are we to presume that they've been driving for hours

around Jungle Rave Island?

What is happening?

I think we don't notice that it started at night during a rave, so not even that late.

and is now in full daylight.

All right, here we go.

I had no idea why they were chasing each other or mad at each other.

Yes, I also thought that.

Like, aren't you guys friends?

Well,

after the grenade scene, yeah.

Wow, what happened?

Sunlight, cold day.

You wanna play?

It's not even dawn.

It's not even like the sun is any moon.

I got one of those motorcycles too.

Like they ride into waves.

And then Vin Diesel goes underwater with a motorcycle

and it still runs.

And I get it.

The motorcycle's got jet ski skis on it so maybe it's got some sort of waterproof motor but like I don't think so

and he seems to be unphased that that capability is built into it.

It's like getting a James Bond car and you're not James Bond and you know every feature of the car without anyone explaining it to you.

Totally.

You know, I think the whole thing about every single girl in the movie wanting to have sex with him is completely just a carryover from like Bond.

Like this is a James Bond trope that we're going to comment on in our new extreme sports way.

But it just comes off as so gross that every girl is like, he's like, oh, let's do it.

He is still lone-esque in that way.

I mean, look, they were just very young.

Like, they should give those opportunities to women, you know, who are in their 30s.

like they should just open up that and they were just

letting me happier than if you got cast as Vin Diesel's love interest yeah they should just like open it up a little bit and the next triple I would have loved to have played that Nina Jobrev character but

I wish I had the scene and this is what I was talking about before like where because it like James Bond he has his little witty things and like There was like there was a line, and it's gonna be me and my bad memory of it, but it's like, he's like, I thought I got rid of you guys, to the army guys, right?

And he's like, oh, how many flushes does it take to get you guys out of here something and then like he went what is it that's a two flusher a two oh yeah two flush

right oh man so you're talking about your

no he says he says if if i was to shut stuff you in the toilet you know like the maximum velocity of something and blah blah blah blah blah and so what he does though is he gets that guy in the toilet And he says the line before the guy is jettisoned out, but like that's the wrong time to say that line.

Like you flush him out and then he goes, I finally figured it out.

Two flushes.

Yeah.

Bam.

But he's like, he gets them in there.

He's like, I figured it out.

Two flushes.

As if it was like, haha, I did do the math.

Like, but it was written like

in a funny aside, but he made it a logical aside.

Again, no idea what you're talking about.

I'm pretty sure I missed this scene.

He shoves a guy in the toilet.

When he has his fight with the guy wearing robot gloves?

I guess I did.

You know this movie was four hours long, right?

I do remember thinking this is a pretty short movie, but.

All right, let's go to the audience.

Let's see what things that you guys want to talk about.

All right, I'm sure there's a lot.

All right, I'll start down here with you.

Sir, what would be one extreme fact about you?

My name's Tim.

I've been skydiving.

Great.

You gotta say it like skydived.

You got, I've been skydived.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I feel like someone made you do it.

I love it.

Okay, so I wrote down what he said about the math problem.

He said,

I'm trying to figure out a math problem.

I'm calculating air speed and wind velocity to figure out where, between China and North Korea, I should tell the NSA to pick you up.

The answer to that is not two flushes.

That's amazing.

I think Vin on the day was like, I'm going to save two flushes.

The line is different because we've already shot the other side of it.

He's like, no, two flushes.

All right, so.

Vinn, can you please stop putting the word family?

This is not one of those movies.

All right, so

your extreme fact and your question.

I live my life a quarter mile at a time.

And

in the end fight scene in the lovely Detroit finale sequence, what was the hound doing when his plan was to like bum rush a bunch of dudes shooting at him?

He's like, I got a plan.

He puts in his mouth guard, and then he just like gets shot a bunch.

And then at the end of the movie, he's just fine, like hanging out with everybody.

Didn't he and Donnie Yen both get shot?

Yeah.

They are 100% fine.

Yeah.

I mean, I thought what he, I thought he had a suicide wish and was like planning to sacrifice himself.

I thought he was trying to draw for the team for them or something.

Yeah, I think that that guy does have a suicide wish.

We're introduced to him literally just getting in a car and crashing through a building for no reason.

No, he's not well.

Yeah, he's not well.

Well, I was very happy we got to be there for his 200th crash.

I mean, I guess.

I could tell that was meaningful.

I guess he fulfills the

good, the bad, and the insane.

So I guess he's the insane insane part of the equation that's what uh Vin calls him oh is that right the good the bad and the insane that was

who do you think

well I think the insane is the guy who crashes his car sure is the good the DJ the DJ yeah the bad is Ruby Rose yeah okay who is the good the girl the sniper who

like

she murdered someone who was about to shoot a lion oh yeah no she shot

she just injured those people so the lion couldn't.

She didn't

hate them.

Yeah.

She said she's just evening the odds.

But wait, but then the lion off-screen sounds like he's eating them.

Arsoluva.

For sure.

I understood her point there.

Yeah, no, I get it.

I get it.

I mean, yeah,

sure.

But June, and now I'm even finding June's point...

more valid because she's not extreme sports either.

She's just a sniper.

I had no idea what this is about extreme sports.

We find out that all of Donnie Yen's team is also triple X, and none of them are sports people either.

Right.

I think the Extreme Sports thing is just, they just took a way back seat.

Yeah, you're right.

I feel like Extreme Sports was popular 10 years ago.

Yeah.

And they're like, that's a fun idea for a movie.

And then now they're like, uh, but like,

why have Vin Diesel still participate in so much extreme sporting in the movie?

Just have him be a badass ass kicker or whatever.

Why have to have him ski in the forest and do all this nonsense?

By the way, Triple X came out 15 years ago.

Wow.

15 years.

What is happening?

I know.

I know.

That's one year less than between Return of the Jedi and Phantom Menace.

Wow.

Wow.

Blow your mind.

Wow.

All right, your extreme fact and your question.

My extreme fact is I'm the June of my group.

And my question is, so Neymar is a Brazilian soccer player.

He shows the game the World Cup final, which is the most embarrassing defeat of the Brazilian team of all time.

You think Vendiesel just insists to like degrade his fellow co-stars and people who actually have skills?

That's amazing.

So they picked the worst clip of him?

Yes, like it's monumentally embarrassing defeats the Germany team in the World Cup final there.

Wow.

Yeah, I bet you.

Wait, the guy that he put in the movie?

Yeah, that they showed him.

They also humiliated him?

Wow, we.

I wonder what that movie was.

Do you think he was trying to redeem him in this movie?

No, because he's great, right?

Yeah, he's great.

They just picked a shitty clip.

It's like, we got the best basketball player, and then you show him, like, missing a dunk.

Normally, always dunking.

I wonder if the guy was a dick and then Vin was like, you know what?

Put in

like him being like embarrassing or something.

I like in your scenario, Vin Diesel's like around for the editing process.

Oh, please.

He is 100% believe

that this movie was edited in his

schoolhouse.

I don't know.

By

like two kids on each other's shoulders wearing a trench coat.

What's that character's name from Bojack?

So your extreme factor question.

I can't live for this shitty movie.

All right, great.

All right.

Yeah.

I'll hold a mic.

Especially at the lackluster way you delivered your extreme line.

He's definitely going to hold the mic.

Did you guys notice how when he goes to the super spy in London to get the information and when she comes out of the pool, she's got an ankle bracelet on.

She's on house arrest.

And then after he blasts the seven teenage girls to sleep,

he meets her like in a restaurant the next day to get the information.

Right.

I have a theory about that.

Right.

I have a theory about that.

And this is, I don't know if I'm right, but this was my justification of that, which was she says to him, you know, I can't touch any kind of computer or something like that she is like a hacker who's been removed from hacking so i was like does the bracelet pick up computer activity oh yeah like could it be related to the like like there are blood alcohol bracelets that if you are legally not allowed to drink they will put a bracelet on you that no like like it has a bluetooth in it yeah is it supposed to is that the the implication is like there's a bracelet that'll know if you're emailing

so she can go to a restaurant but if there's someone someone on a laptop in the restaurant, it's all over for her.

Well, no, because all of her lady hackers are like hacking away

right next to her.

So she did a skirting the law.

I think we may have found a hole.

Just a one.

Just a one.

You know what?

In Triple X.

I don't know if I like this movie anymore.

Are there?

I want to get a woman that has a question.

All right, yeah, because we have a lot of dudes that have questions.

I want to hear from a

dude movie.

No girls allowed.

Yeah, boys club.

Just by round of applause, we're going to get to your question too, but by round of applause,

if you're a lady or a dude, who here finds Ven Diesel to be as sexy as June is making him out to be?

Ooh,

I'm trying to find my wife.

She's out there.

That's right, sit on your hands, honey.

God damn it.

And

just to hear the other side of it.

And I'd also like to just tell a couple of girls in the audience to sit on their hands as well.

If that's not weird.

It is weird.

Sit on your hands, honey.

Same line, different intent.

All right, ma'am.

Your extreme factor, your question.

I live every day like it's my last.

Great.

And

I'm wondering what tagline is better, We're Family or X Takes Care of Its Own.

Ooh, shit.

Like the sentiment.

The sentiment is very similar.

Yeah, it sure is.

It's like Sophie's choice.

Yeah.

I feel like if I knew what X was,

I'd have an easier time with this.

Oh, I will say we have now reached the point in the podcast where June has forgotten the entire movie.

We have.

If you are curious what the tagline of the movie actually is,

It is, kick some ass, get the girl, and try to look dope while you're doing it.

That's what he says to him at the end right?

Yeah, yeah, I like the observation you made Paul what that like extreme sports isn't as much of a thing anymore is just an One of many indications that they just shouldn't have like why

Extreme sports is just like not

I feel like I feel like honestly he was like oh The only movies that make money from me are Fast and Furious.

How can I do the exact same thing, but but just not call it Fast and Furious?

Yeah, on a different mode of transportation.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

He doesn't get a car until the end.

No.

And by the way, when he drives it, he's going to drive it great.

But

if these two things could merge, they're both universal, right?

That could be amazing.

Oh, my God.

Here's the movie:

Xander Diesel is both Dominic Toreto.

Is that why he's

in the movie?

Yes.

He's his own evil twin brother that he doesn't know exists.

I swear to God,

I swear I can see that happening.

Yes, it's definitely been talked about.

Oh, absolutely.

By Vin Diesel.

I would go see that.

View himself in the mirror.

Like, how quickly would you buy a ticket to?

I would buy a ticket.

I would finance the movie.

Yes.

But by the way,

I would make myself poor.

I would take out irresponsible loans.

You would make it back because that's the thing.

It's like, Vindy's the last witch hunter.

Who cares?

I'll see this movie a million times.

It's great.

It's super fun.

All right, here.

Yes, your question.

All right, coming over here.

Here we go.

All right.

Yes, your extreme fact.

Here you go.

Extreme fact.

I went to Chico, so we know how to drink, right?

All right.

All right, that's your extreme fact.

Did you say Chico?

Chico State.

Chico State.

Yeah, okay.

Anyways, my question is, they had this supreme accuracy with the satellites when they fell.

How the heck did they do that?

It was like a bullseye with Samuel L.

Jackson in the first scene.

Like, how does that even work?

Well, same thing.

Yeah, same thing at the end where they're sending the satellite to kill them in the factory.

Why not just leave the factory?

Well, no, but I do hear what you're saying, though, because get out of there.

It does seem odd.

It does seem odd

because it would seem like the satellites had been made to become weapons yeah at a certain point when they were really ever only satellites and the accuracy you're right is impossible yeah that was the whole thing the whole movie

if i'm correct let me know if i'm if i'm wrong but the whole person who slept through most of it yes

is go ahead is them trying to stop satellites from falling out of the satellites from hitting targets

and here's the real bummer of that satellites are not designed to withstand the friction of re-entering the atmosphere.

Sure.

And any satellite that would fall would be burnt up.

I'm glad to know that because I did walk out of the movie feeling a little nervous about all them satellites.

Come on over here.

Oh my gosh.

You know what?

And the other little interesting fact was the girl, the one he was showing his tattoos to, she turned down a part in Fast and Furious.

Whoa.

And then she jumped on board for this one.

She's a Bollywood star, yeah.

So she knew.

All right, your name,

come over here.

Your Extreme Fact.

What do you got?

Seth, Extreme Fact is: I love to moped.

Awesome.

All right, love it.

Did you ever get it out there on that sweet, sweet water?

Oh, yeah.

In the satellite realm, when they disclose the fact there's like 250,000 satellites orbiting Earth and they're going to drop one a day.

So how long would this plot take

to

happen?

I agree, a long time.

And he even says in one point, it's like destruction's not going to stop.

I wouldn't stop anyway.

The amount of destruction seems like you wouldn't even need 250,000.

You could probably really do all the damage you need in probably about 10, 15 days, right?

I mean, not all the major places.

All the space junk they showed at the beginning of the movie floating through space, it didn't seem accurate to me.

It seemed

all right one more question.

Thank you.

All right, what do you think?

Your extreme factor question.

I teach middle school.

That is fun.

Extreme.

I feel like now I have an understanding of those X's.

Towards the end of the movie, Tony Colette is arresting Don Ian.

And

what's his name, Dom Toretto?

He says, hey, he's not really a bad guy.

Except for he smashed through the window and murdered the National Security Council at the moment in the movie.

Kind of a bad guy.

Oh, yeah.

He did.

Yeah.

Oh, no.

He's like a kid.

He's kind of a bad guy.

He straight up murdered

a room full of government employees.

And he slid for like

a second.

Everybody slides.

I mean, he slid.

He slid so far.

Like, I was laughing so hard at that because he slid across the table, then like, down the hall through the door.

Like, shot out a big plate glass window and slid through that.

Yep.

Takes his jacket on and off four times during the fight.

Yeah, oh, totally.

Four full disrogue throw.

And it was awesome every time.

Oh, Donny Yen is a fucking monster.

Dude, he is fantastic in this movie.

I just wanted more Tony Jaw.

He's great.

Okay, oh, here's some interesting facts about Triple X, just so people are at home not going to be too upset about it.

There is no

Vin Diesel is the first Triple X.

There is no organization or team before him.

So when Triple X started, it was like

a hero here.

So if we met, if they would be similar, if you met CIA.

Like, you know, like, whoa, you're a CIA?

I heard about you.

You bombed.

CIA tattooed on his neck.

And then,

and the gun with the full of blanks is a callback to the first film where Gibbons puts him into a fake diner and then he has guns with bullets in there.

And then,

I mean, again, these callbacks to something that no one knows anything about.

And here's the best one: the original,

15 years ago, who was the original choice to play Xander Cage?

Oh, shit.

15 years ago?

Relax, everybody.

Let's not get too crazy, okay?

Jeez.

Keanu?

Interesting, interesting.

Keanu Reeves is a really good thing.

I'm going to also say Keanu.

Although, I don't know if you would have done it.

It's point-breaky.

Yeah.

Well, you know, he turned it down.

Yeah.

Clearly.

Turned it down.

Well, you turned it down.

This person turned it down.

I'm going to say

Bruce Willis.

Probably not, because, yeah, I don't know.

I'm going to say.

Think out of the box.

Out of the box.

Will Smith.

Interesting.

All right.

These are all great.

These are all great.

But that's in the box.

Maybe.

Yeah, maybe.

Helena Bottom Carter.

That is out of the box.

H-B-C.

Eric Banner.

15 years ago?

Yeah, I guess right after Bleed.

Like, I guess it was like, you know, this guy is going to stream because it I guess that movie, you know?

Why wouldn't he?

I guess he was like, I don't like the script.

Yeah, I mean, why wouldn't he?

He clearly is chosen right across the board.

My favorite Eric Banna piece of trivia is that he was on Australia's version of Saturday Night Live as a cast member.

Yeah.

He's very funny.

He's hilarious.

But I'm like, also like,

I want him now to be Triple X.

By the way, if they make another movie, I'm sure they'll be able to do it.

I'll create that too.

They'll be doing callbacks to the original casting session.

That makes sense because that Hulk that he did was like 15 years ago.

Yeah, right.

So they probably picked between the two.

All right, so

clearly we had an opinion about this film, but there are other people out there with a different opinion.

It is now time for second opinions.

Vin Diesel is a cool

rider.

A cool

rider.

He was so damn cool, he raced his life to make soccer free.

Whoa,

his motorbikes a jet ski and he's also in an orgy.

He has a nipple tattoo and he knows how to flex them guns.

This is second opinion.

Uncle Tim!

There's a little.

Thank you, Tim.

Amazing.

Tim returning.

How it's done.

Tim, a returning champion of the second opinion theme.

He's walking away with a street fighter encyclopedia book.

He will now know once and for all what a street fighter is.

And by the way, people, you have the audio track.

Now put beats behind it and let's make it a song.

We literally have 40 second opinions themes that we are like on track 16 of.

We need to do more.

I love it.

Now, these are called from different sources, not because Amazon...

was not right up to the challenge yet um but they're nonetheless fun oh as a matter of fact this one is titled Fun, Fun, Fun, Fun.

And the amount of stars they gave it are one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Ten stars.

All right.

Where did you find these if they were?

This is from IMDb, and one is from a Christian website.

Great.

Ooh, I hope they liked it.

So this is from,

all right, this one.

Get ready.

All right.

I won't read this guy's name because I think he'll kill me.

Triple X are great action movies.

I like them very much.

And this Triple X is not different.

I love it.

But allow me to write this few words.

An outstanding Triple X movie will have this title:

Triple X

Julian Assange.

Whoa.

Imagine.

CIA, NSA,

Hollywood loves movies, but no one in the U.S.

or out of the U.S.

modern colonies even published what the Empire did wrong in the secret wars.

USA is fighting under orders of the Nobel Peace Prize.

The USA news media and the USA movie industry really need to have the triple X courage to do, I will stop XXX Company.

Fake news, fake news.

That, and it goes on.

I just stopped before it gets really racist.

Was he just confirmed for Secretary of Labor?

This guy

also gave it 10 stars.

This is

another IMDB review from Tiger Hen.

And Tiger Hen clearly likes Donnie Yoon.

Donnie Yoon stole this movie with his role.

His screen presence is extraordinary.

And the audience cannot wait for the next scene with him.

His acting is on point.

His action scenes are so fast.

That is as fast as eight years ago when he was IP Man, Flashpoint SLP.

It doesn't take much time before you start cheering for the villain, which is him.

By the way, yeah,

I agree

I'm not disagreeing but you'll see and then he talks about the Bollywood star Deepika Deepika's accent was a little out of place

but her performance was okay

all the female characters Nina Doprev Ruby Rose performed the best and overshadowed depekkah Just like Donnie Yin overshadows Vin Diesel

every time he is on screen together.

Overall good movie with interesting dynamics and a storyline that does not have much flaw 10 stars

For a minute there I thought Jason wrote that review

Now this this is a this is a little bit of a long review.

It is from

FaithBasedReviews.com.

So they ask a lot of questions at the top like did you like it?

Should I see it in IMAX?

One of the questions, are there any phobias to be aware of?

There are some heights early on, but nothing close to the edge.

There are some scenes of bad driving if you have a fear of auto accidents.

By the way, a lot of civilian deaths in this movie.

Does it contain strong Christian values?

No, it does not.

And here we go.

You You all know that chick flick that has a lot of stuff that appeals to women and makes the average man want to spew.

Now I present.

Makes the average man want to spew.

This is overtly sexual at sentence one.

Now I present for your enjoyment the adolescent fantasy.

This has a lot of stuff that a preteen will think is cool, but your average adult will want to blow chunks.

This guy is into barfing.

The movie is the argument that every awesome skateboarder team presents when an adult asks him or her if they'll get a real job.

Yeah, man, I'm gonna be a super cool Vin Diesel when I grow up like some super secret spy people are gonna recruit me to save the world.

It will be totally righteous.

I'll be super cool and I'll be super rich and it will be like totally radical.

I'm sorry.

I'm not hip to the latest jive talk.

Hey,

hey, Gary, so we just we read your review of the new XXX movie and we're not changing anything.

It's gold, buddy.

But there will be a lot of hip talk involved.

Do you dig?

The whole movie is full of people being really, really cool.

There's Vin Diesel standing there.

He looks cool.

Now there's Samuel L.

Jackson standing there, and he's saying something.

I didn't quite remember it, but it was cool.

I feel like a very old nun

is writing this.

Now there's some cool kung fu with that Donnie Yen dude.

You know, he's the go-to kung fu guy now that Jackie Chan isn't doing movies, really.

So he's cool.

And they're just blowing stuff up.

Cool.

Wouldn't it be cool if someone could wreck a car?

Uh-uh.

They just wrecked a car.

Each of the team is recruited for having a special skill.

The woman is a really good sniper.

All right, I can see that being useful.

The guy is really good at crashing cars.

That's a little less useful.

Maybe the entire movie is a long car chase.

No, it's really not.

His usefulness is just dropped.

He's like taking Aquaman with you to Iraq.

Iraq.

Good point.

Finally, there's a guy who's a really good DJ.

Seriously?

Are we planning on having a raging party until the bad guys surrender?

Yeah, if it was my team, I'd go fish.

Like the card game?

I guess.

The movie, like you're pulling your guy.

The movie proves that you can't display a bunch of rapid fire cool stuff and be left with a movie.

The Fast and Furious franchise has more of a plot, and that's saying something.

Burn.

Wait, does it end five stars?

No, no, sorry.

I forgot to.

That is, what star?

I'm sure that's a zero star.

Oh, sorry.

This is a third opinion.

It is a base score of a two that he adjusted to a 1.5.

I don't understand

how he knocked it down 0.5.

But yeah, 2 out of 10, I would say.

Why would the lowest score you can give be a 2?

Yeah, it seems like he kind of is envious that he wasn't in the movie.

It seems like he's angry for sure.

He was like...

Angry at cool stuff.

Yeah.

And stuff that people thought was cool.

It basically is like the guy that I feel like is like, cool isn't cool, you know.

Yeah.

raising a family is cool all right

that's what's cool yeah and have and being a middle school teacher that's what's cool

that is very cool

that is very cool and you know what's really cool paying for your own hbo now account and not stealing your parents' passwords that's cool dude or am i not speaking your lingo brah

so you can watch your not anymore jackie chan gotta be done EN movies.

I'm pissed that Jackie Chan's not working.

Apparently.

Well, I think we've said everything we need to say about the return of Xander Cage.

Adam, you got a bunch of cool stuff right now, obviously.

The Michael Bolton's big, sexy Valentine's Day special.

It's so funny that Lonely Island Scott and Comedy Bang Bang, Scott Arkerman.

It's so funny.

It's so good.

I'm in it for like one second, but it itself is great and really funny.

And then you're in the prestige, Big Little Lies, this HBO show.

Yeah, yeah.

How is that?

Is that fun?

Yeah, I haven't seen.

I saw the first one.

It was great.

That starts

seven of them.

Yeah.

All right.

What else?

Anything else you want to plug?

I have a bunch of things I could keep on telling you.

Is this a spin-off series from Pretty Little Liars?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like all the liars grown up.

It's a time machine, kind of a time machine.

And in that two,

Shaylene, Nicole Kidman, they grow into Nicole Kidman, Reese Witherspoon, Witherspoon, Shaylene Witherspoon,

15 years, you'll revisit it.

You'll do another seven episodes in about 15 years or give or date.

They'll probably make a sequel without you guys, and then you'll come back.

Yeah, they're going to get some actors that are right in between our ages.

Do you play one of the lies?

I play one of the littles.

Are you tiptoeing it?

You are on your knees like Gary Oldman is.

That's right.

That's right.

Wait, you guys did tiptoes.

Yes, we did.

Classic.

Come on.

Yeah, I know.

Sorry.

It was the stupidest question of all time.

Anything else?

Anything else?

No, no,

that sounds

pretty good.

I'm just going to keep

going.

The third season of Grace and Frankie comes out March 24th.

So that's really exciting.

And then Paul and I on Instagram are working on a campaign called At the Big Hundred, which is 100 Days of Actions for the First Hundred Days of this Administration.

And if it's something you're into, I'd definitely check it out because it's pretty been pretty amazing.

It's a little

doable action that is just that are good, like good little small actions, bite-sized actions that you can do that are non-partisan and just make you a better citizen.

They're kind of partisan, but anyways, go on.

Yeah, seriously, fuck those assholes.

Oh, you know,

I do a small thing, a small part of a wonderful new podcast that Seth Morris put out called the Seth Morris Radio Project.

And it is on

Stitcher Premium.

It's on Stitcher Premium, and it is

crazy funny.

Or the Howl.

Is it on the Howell app?

Okay, great.

So if you're on the Widow Howl app, get on that.

Go through with that.

It's a super funny kind of parody of radio, basically.

It's really fantastic.

But

you're really dropping the lead, Jason.

You're in the animated Batman movie.

Oh, yeah.

Are you?

So excited to see you.

I am Scarecrow in Lego Batman.

That's awesome.

But I will say, lower your expectations.

It's a very few lines.

But very exciting.

I will say you can check out this new series that Rob Hubel and I created called Drive Share.

It is an episode a day for 30 days.

It's on Go90.

It's totally free.

It's not an app.

You don't have to pay for anything.

It's a website and an app.

It's called Drive Share on the Go90, Verizon Go90.

Jason's in an episode.

It's super, super fun.

It's really funny.

It's so many different people, 120 different rides.

Oh, and I'll also say this just because I still want people to watch it.

Paul and I did an episode of the Chris Gethard Show on Fusion that's on YouTube.

And if you have not watched it, please find it and watch it.

It's called One Man's Trash, and it is one of the best things.

If you want to see Paul and I torture our friend Chris Gethard for 45

it's amazing.

It is worth it.

Well, I guess that is it.

Well, if you had anything that you wanted to say, you can give us a call at 619-PAL Asks.

That's P-A-U-L-A-S-K 619-PALASK.

You can leave it on a message and then we can play it on our mini episode.

A big thank you to April Halley who cuts all of our clips, July Diaz, Nate Kylie, Marissa Zeitz, Leanna Waldron, everybody here at Largo, and everybody at Earwolf.

Thank you so much for coming.

Bye-bye.

When life brings the blah, add more Yabba Dabba-doo with some tasty fruity pebbles.

Early morning meeting, blah.

Someone brought the pebbles, Yaba Dabba Doo.

Run errands, blah.

Head to the store for pebbles, Yabba Dabba Doo.

Fruity Pebbles, less blah.

More Yabba Daba Doo.

Pick up Pebble cereal today.

Yabba Daba Doo and the Flintstones and all related characters and elements.

Copyright and trademark, Hanna-Barbera.

Today's podcast is brought to you by Squarespace.

Hell, I might even be brought to you by Squarespace.

I got so many websites up there.

Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place.

Truly, I have been loving my Squarespace experience.

I have broadened out.

I have my website, How Did This Get Made website, Unspooled's website, Dark Webb's Webb's website, all there, and they each work completely differently.

And what I love about Squarespace is from consultations to events to experiences, you can show off your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business.

Plus, with Blueprint AI, they have this AI-enhanced website builder.

You can quickly create personalized sites that align with your brand and goals.

You can streamline your workflow with built-in tools for appointment scheduling, email marketing, invoices, and seamless online payments to keep your business running smooth.

Head to squarespace.com/slash bonkers for a free trial.

And when you're ready to launch, use the code bonkers to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

That's right, squarespace.com/slash bonkers using the offer code bonkers.