Take Back Control of Your Health with Dr. Sharon Malone

The one thing I would say to women is this, no one's coming to save you.

So if you think that the president or the governor or the legislator, your state legislator is coming to save you, they're not.

But they will if you make them.

This special health-focused episode of IMO is brought to you by Cologuard, a non-invasive colon cancer screening test.

Hey, Mish.

Hey, Craig Robinson.

You know, today's topic is one that's near and dear to me.

Now, one of the reasons why I'm excited about, one of the many reasons I'm excited about our platform, IMO, is that we, you know, really get to talk about a whole array of issues that we both care about.

But this topic today is particularly of note for me because we're going to be talking about women's health.

We've got one of our dear friends, Dr.

Sharon Malone, on.

And,

you know, she's going to talk about her new book, new podcast that we're excited about.

But we want to talk about a whole range of things.

And

in many ways, to have a guy like yourself on in the midst of this conversation to some people might seem funny because a lot of men don't feel a connection to women's health.

Because,

quite frankly, oftentimes we as women don't understand our own issues.

And we're going to talk a little bit about that.

But I think you are in a unique position because we grew up in a household where women had voices.

And despite the fact that we grew up in such an open household for

that time in life or that stage

of our lives,

I'm still surprised at how little I know about my own body,

you know, and

how many things we didn't talk about, not because our parents weren't open to it, but they didn't know.

So we're going to talk more about this.

But let's introduce, let's get Sharon in on the conversation.

Yeah, and you said Sharon's family, and

I could introduce her without the notes, but I'm going to read Dr.

Sharon Malone's bio here.

Dr.

Sharon is a nationally recognized OBGYN with over 30 years of experience, a New York Times bestseller with her book, Grown Woman Talk, and a longtime advocate for providing practical information on women's health and aging.

So, here to join us is a good friend and

just basically a family member, Dr.

Sharon Malone.

Welcome to IMO, Sharon's.

So good to

have you with us.

Thank you for having me.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All over the country promoting grown woman talk.

I am so proud of you

for

for so much.

But you you did the thing, yeah, writing this amazing, creative, fun, funny, informative, open, honest book about women's health with a particular focus on women of color, but it's a book for everyone, men, women, people of all races and all ages, because you cover the spectrum.

of just some of the

things that women go through.

Can you talk a bit about why you wanted to write the book and how you're feeling about things.

Yes, I want to thank both of you for having me here because it's, you know, we've had many conversations like this just around the, you know, around the kitchen table.

And to be able to share this is really special.

And I remember, I, you know, when I left my clinical practice, now it's been four and a half years ago, I had none of this in mind.

I wasn't planning to write a book.

I wasn't planning to be out here in menopause world, none of it.

But, you know, you got to be ready when things happen.

And I remember how encouraging you were

for me.

You were like, girl, come on, you can do this.

And I was so nervous after I wrote the book.

And I was like, oh, I don't know if you want to read it.

And you didn't show it to me.

It took so many.

It's like, okay, Sharon, I know you have a rough draft.

I was getting a little insulted for a second there.

Well, you know, you know what it is.

And you can appreciate this, Craig.

Yes.

I knew that if I asked her to read the book, she was going to give me her honest opinion of the book.

And I was sometimes I wasn't sure if I was ready for that.

You know what I mean?

So, welcome to the world of the Robinsons.

I was like, oh, I said, wait a minute, but maybe it sucks and she's going to tell me.

And how about this?

She's getting offended that you're not showing it to her.

I was like, see, it's like, you know, I'm not ready for constructive criticism yet.

I want to get it in the right position to show it.

Well, to give some folks some context, I mean, sharon and i we've known each other since um

that day at the that that evening at the black caucus when when we first

actually our eyes first met right because this was a time where what was air sharon's husband happens to be former attorney general uh eric holder he's a non-factor uh you know i i he is not a non-factor

in our

relationship

Neither of them, although

they put us together because we were both reluctant spouses attending one of these huge dinners.

And where were they?

Was Barack a U.S.

senator at the time?

He was a senator because

you were still living in Chicago and Eric was in private practice.

So it was the very early days.

And, you know,

She came to D.C.

and you didn't come to D.C.

much in those days.

No, ma'am.

And they sit us at a table and we were seated just about like this.

She was across the table from me.

Okay.

And you know how there are things going on around us?

And I would just look over at her.

And it was.

Well, and the things were there was a line of people waiting to shake hands with our respective husbands, you know, people like reaching over our heads and spilling water on us, trying to get to these two, you know, illustrious men, you know.

And she didn't, she didn't, she had the same look on her face as I did.

Like, here we go, you know.

And I looked over at this beautiful woman.

We had, did we even have a conversation?

Not until later in the afternoon.

And that was.

So you hadn't met.

We hadn't met.

This was, you know, kind of sentimental.

But I just saw a look on her face, which, which expressed the sentiments that I felt, which was.

Pissed off.

No, it was just kindred sentiment.

It's like, you see this.

You don't see this.

You see this.

This is like, this is crazy, isn't it, it girl that's that was the look and it was like with without words spoken i was like i want to get to know this woman so when barack got into office um and uh appointed eric as his attorney general there were just a couple of women like that particularly sisters, black women in DC, that I knew I needed, I knew I was going to need my kitchen table there.

And I had to do what I've told people to do in my books, which is like, you got to go out and find your friend.

You got got to find your people.

And I invited you and a couple of other people over to the Hey Adams because it was before we were even able to get into the White House

just for like a girlfriend's lunch.

And, you know, I don't know what that call was like for you, but for me, I was like, I just, you know, before this thing gets started, I need.

I need some info.

I need to get a sense of where am I?

What's this city about?

Who can I trust?

And I instinctively thought of Sharon.

She was on the top of my list of people that I wanted to know.

And we had an amazing, was it lunch or breakfast?

Oh, it was lunch and it was supposed to be an hour and we talked for three.

So you can imagine.

So we're sitting there and it's like, okay, I don't have anywhere to go, but you're not busy.

And we had, and that started it.

And we've been talking ever since.

And that's when we really started having some really deep conversations about our health as women, you know, how we neglected.

You know, many of us were black women around the table.

You know, we learned from Sharon all that we didn't know.

So a lot of times those weekends would turn into

Sharon advisory sessions because we'd bring her questions about health, things on our bodies, prescriptions.

We would use her as a second opinion from our own doctors to make sure that we were covered.

But, you know, your book touches on more than just the medical side of things.

I mean, your book opens up with something as simple as how do you choose a medical provider?

You know, I think if you think about how the medical system, you know, at its inception, it was never made for women and it was certainly never made for black women.

So whatever you're a second tertiary thought in this whole process.

And I think that how we pick doctors, you know, how do we, how do we even evaluate a doctor is something most of us haven't thought about because you get it from your friend or you may, you know, get it from your insurance book or whatever, but there is really a process that you should go through where you can decide, I don't have to just go to this person who continually disrespects me, or I don't have to continue to go to a person when I complain, they don't hear me, or they don't address my complaints.

Those are the kinds of things you have to think about.

And yes, it's important to know about board certification and where they went to medical school.

That's important, but not the essential piece of this doctor-patient relationship you're going to have.

Well, and we were raised on the doctor set.

I mean, doctors, for at least our generation and older, they're revered members of the community.

You know, they were second to God.

And so the thought that you would question or even have the...

the right or authority to question.

So

many of us, if in the Black community, you even ever saw a doctor, right?

But if you did have a doctor, you just fell into the arms of that person and took everything that they said about you as being the truth.

Even and if all these doctors or most of these doctors were men

who are not even trained in understanding women's health in that same way.

And I want you to talk a little bit about how that happens.

As I said, women were really an afterthought, you know, because, you know, the, when I say in the old days, in the 19th century, they didn't have a lot of treatments anyway.

So they didn't have a lot of treatment for anybody.

This is pre-antibiotics and surgery and anesthesia and all that.

But there's this whole, there's this mythology about women's bodies and women's bodies were unclean, contemptible, ew.

You know, that was sort of how the medical profession, they didn't even want to examine women, you know, in that era.

And

what era was that?

This is like in the, this is in the 1800s

and as we move into the 20th century now this may surprise you but it wasn't until 1993 that it was mandated that women be included in clinical trials 1993 1993 most of what we know about medications most of what we know about medical devices have been the the research has been done on men and extrapolated to women because the thought was, well, we don't, women are complicated.

You know, they've got all these hormone things going on and we don't really want to, you know, that'll mess up our research.

So it's just easier to work with somebody that, you know, is in a different, different, in the same state every day.

So 1993 is the first time women were included.

So most of what we know

has been post-then.

But I'll do something, I'll give you something that was shocking even to me because as I was doing the research for my book, I said, Well, okay, how much is spent on women's health and research?

And as of the 2022 figures, NIH, which is the largest funder of medical research in the world, which is now being dismantled, dismantled.

But in 1993, NIH had a $45 billion budget that they used for the endowed for medical research.

Of that $45 billion,

less than 11% of that $45 billion went to conditions that either primarily or exclusively affect women.

Less than 11%.

Now, we're 51% of the population.

So all of the things that we still are asking questions about, menopause, perimenopause, you know, the healthcare disparities in maternal health, you name it, everything that we have, migraines, fibroids, endometriosis, all of those things that affect women, they don't get funded.

And so that's sort of how we are.

And now, to Misha's point, and to what's going on in society, we're moving backwards again.

I mean,

so that just made me think: where do you send women to get proper information on all of this stuff, reproductive, IVF,

HPV, you know, right?

All of the things, menopause,

where do you send people for information?

Well, you know, there are certain things that are going to, that I think that government is uniquely situated to do, you know, because the private sector does what the private sector does.

And they're interested in, you know, they want a new drug.

They don't want to look at an old drug.

because there's no money to be made in an old drug.

And so a lot of the things that

we are looking at, even like hormone replacement, we're still basically working with the same data from

30 years ago because there's not been any funding for the new research.

And this is the frustrating thing about

the fight to protect women's reproductive health.

Sadly, it has been reduced to choice.

the question of choice.

And it's as if that's all of what women's health is.

That's the only thing.

And as I attempted to make the argument on the campaign trail this past election was that there's just so much more at stake.

And because so many men have no idea about what women go through, right, we haven't been researched, we haven't been considered, and it still affects the way a lot of male lawmakers, a lot of male politicians, a lot of male religious leaders think about the issue of choice as if it's just about the fetus, the baby, the,

but women's reproductive health is about our life.

It's about this whole complicated reproductive system that does the least of what it does is produce life.

It's a very important thing that it does, but you only produce life if the machine that's producing it, if you want to

whittle us down to a machine, if the machine is functioning in a healthy, streamlined kind of way.

But there is no discussion or apparent connection between the two.

Sharon, can you talk a bit about sort of the state of the current state?

What's keeping you up at night of the many things that keep you up at night about the state of women's health?

Yes, I think that

one of the things that is disturbing to me is that

somehow or the other, government has gotten involved in decisions that are personal and decisions, and health care decisions.

It's not just about, you know,

you know, whether someone chooses to have a pregnancy or not, but you should have, this is a situation where a woman should have control over her body when and if to have a baby and to decide how that pregnancy should continue.

Because let me say this.

If doctors are afraid to do their job and it's not, and this is not about abortion.

This is about a woman who is in, who is miscarrying, who is, her life is in danger, or she is in a position where we know that this pregnancy is not going to continue.

And a doctor is afraid that they're going to go to jail because they are helping that woman to make sure that she'll live to be able to do this again.

These are the kinds of things that are very worrisome.

And let me tell you what the downstream effect of that is.

In states where there are the most restrictive

in the post-Dobbs world,

if you're, if I'm a young person and I want to be an OBGYN,

I might, one, I might choose not to be an OBGYN.

And if I do choose that as my profession,

am I going to want to train in a state where

my career is in jeopardy?

Am I going to want to stay in practice in a state where I have to worry about whether someone's going to drop a dime on me and turn me in because I did something

to save someone's life or to preserve their fertility.

And that's enough.

But what happens when you don't have doctors in those states?

What about all those other things?

Remember, I told you, you've got all the other things to worry about: fibroids and endometriosis, and all the other things.

Now there's no doctor there.

What about the woman who's having a completely normal pregnancy and she needs a doctor to deliver her?

And there's no one there.

How does that, in any way, shape, or form improve women's health?

You know, it's setting us back because, you know, now we're in a, now we're in a situation where

everyone, now you have no access, and that's the problem.

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You know, when I first got my job at Oregon State, I was in my 40s, sort of early 40s, and I really hadn't had a doctor of my own.

And I got a doctor finally, Dr.

Chen, and got my first sort of blood screening at that point in time.

Because, you know, growing up, we went to the clinic when we got sick.

And now that I,

and then once I moved to Corvallis, I started getting physicals every single year.

And from then on, I felt like, okay, I'm taking care of my own health a little bit better than I had before.

So Dr.

Sharon, how'd I do?

You know what?

You did great, Craig.

But you know what?

That, your experience is not unlike most people's.

Most of us did not grow up going to doctors on a regular basis.

So can you talk, Dr.

Sharon, about an essential thing that we can do for our health as we get older?

Why is screening for colon cancer so important?

Colon cancer is one of the most common types of cancer in the United States.

And as a physician, I've unfortunately seen firsthand how common it is.

In my clinical practice, I have seen patients getting diagnosed with stage three or stage four colon cancer because they waited too long to get screened.

And these are young, healthy people.

There are even patients in their early to mid-40s with no family history of colon cancer.

What people don't realize is that there is no such thing as being low risk.

Colon cancer affects all genders, races, and ethnicities.

I can even personally attest to how serious and prevalent this cancer is.

I lost my mother to colon cancer when I was 12 years old.

My older sister was diagnosed with colon cancer over a decade ago.

The difference in outcomes is due solely to early detection.

My mother was never screened for colon cancer and she paid the ultimate price.

My sister, due to early diagnosis and treatment, is alive and cancer-free.

This is why colon cancer screening for everyone, whether you have a family history or not, is important.

Can you talk a little bit about colon cancer screening and options people have?

The good news about colon cancer is that it's detectable early with routine screening.

Because younger people are being diagnosed with colon cancer, the recommended age for starting screening is now 45, not 50.

And that's why I wanted to make sure listeners are aware of the Cologuard test, which is an effective, non-invasive test that detects cancer and precancer.

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This special health-focused episode of IMO is brought to you by Cologuard, a non-invasive colon cancer screening test.

As we discussed earlier with Dr.

Sharon, getting screened for colon cancer is a crucial part of prioritizing our health as we get older, especially because right now, colon cancer is considered the most preventable yet least prevented cancer out there.

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The Cologuard test is intended to screen adults 45 and older at average risk for colorectal cancer.

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Just the fact that we've abandoned science,

you know, that now medicine is, you know, what we're going to look at and how we're going to make policy is based on

whoever in charge, their particular priorities.

And science and evidence be damned,

we're not looking at that now.

And let me just say, a lot of what we do, yes, we do have to infer.

We don't have absolute evidence for everything, but we have a good amount, particularly for things like vaccines that have been around for, you know, for certainly as long as we've been alive.

We have a track record on those.

And to sort of throw science out the window because someone has a kakamame theory about it is pretty troubling.

If that's the road that we're going to be on, you know, and we are seeing the results of that now.

But we're seeing more and more conversations from anti-vaxxers, right?

We saw it during COVID.

What's that about?

Why are we all of a sudden, after all these generations, now

pushing against

vaccines that have saved lives

for

decades?

Well, you know, it matters who's in charge.

And I think sort of the way medical research used to work was that, you know,

there are researchers and there are people at NIH and there are scientists who, you know, do the, who actually do the work.

And the work drives the policy, not necessarily the other way around.

Now, granted, there is some, because there are people deciding what research gets funded and what doesn't.

That's always been the case.

But now we're having at the highest levels, people decide:

no, we're not doing that.

And you kind of go, wait a minute, but we've got 50 years of data on that.

And it's as if that does not exist.

And we're just going to do and we're going to serve the

theories and

whims of whoever it happens to be.

And so it's not really coming,

it's not coming from the scientific community.

It's really coming from someone else who has a very different view of what they think is important.

And

they're embracing some theories and some conspiracies that really have no basis in science.

And that's a problem if that's how we're going to continue to

do research in this country.

And we're seeing that with this measles outbreak.

So, what's going on there?

Well, you know, this is in Texas, correct?

Yeah, I mean, they've got what, like now, over 500 cases of measles, a disease that was considered eradicated in this country.

And here's the thing: like, take for instance, smallpox.

Okay, smallpox was a terrible thing, and then everybody got vaccinated.

It's been declared by the World Health Organization, it's eradicated.

Now, no one gets it.

But if you allow

the

measles to come back and more and more people are unvaccinated, and the thing that people really don't remember about why it's so important to get an MMR, the MMR part of it was rubella.

And rubella was why you pregnant women get it.

And guess what?

You have congenital defects in children, deafness, blindness, birth defects in pregnant women who are unvaccinated.

So as bad as it is amongst the children, yes.

Will most of them survive?

Yes, they will.

But what about everybody else?

What about the ones that don't?

And one child dying is too many, but now you're going to infect pregnant women and unborn children.

And if you really care about unborn children, that seems to me a good enough reason to vaccinate.

So if you're a mother that's vaccinated, does that protect your unborn child?

If you are vaccinated.

Exactly.

But what if we keep this trend going?

You know, and as these children who are unvaccinated now reach puberty and childbearing years, then they will be just as at risk as generations were before.

I mean, it's just, it's just mind-boggling to believe that with all that we know, you know, with all the resources, with the wealth in this nation, that we are going to go backwards in time, that we are, we are walking backwards with our eyes wide open, with sirens blaring, you know.

It's just unbelievable to me that in a short period of time, we're here having these kind of conversations.

We had just really, you know, even on the women's health front, we had just started to make, we're like, wow, now we know about that 45 billion and we're only getting, you know,

4 billion of it.

All right, well, that was great.

Except as we were starting to make progress and they were saying, yes, we've got to pay attention to women's health issues.

And, you know, there was

President Biden came up with a $100 million White House initiative for women's health in midlife.

The Department of Defense had a $500 million

grant that was supposed to go to studying women in the military because nobody was studying them.

Poof.

It's just all gone.

It's all gone.

So, Sharon, before we get to our listener question, we have some great listeners who send in great questions.

But before we get to that,

given all of this non-information and misinformation and the dialing back of funding,

if you could give women your biggest piece of advice that they could hear from our platform here on sort of

what they should be doing, what would that piece of advice be?

The one thing I would say to women is this, no one's coming to save you.

So if you think that the president or the governor or the legislator, your state legislator is coming to save you, they're not.

But they will if you make them.

And see, this is where I said a lot of what we've got to do now, we can't, you know, political environment is what it is, but this is a, it's a political issue.

It's not a partisan issue because this will affect all women.

It doesn't matter, you know, what your political affiliation is.

And this is where I think that as 51 of the population and probably 60 of the voting population that we have an opportunity for this big a advocacy is for women to say hey look here i'm going to talk to my local my state legislators and say this is important to me and you're either going to address this or we will vote you out And that is really the only power that we have collectively is to make sure that our voices are heard And that

once people realize that we're serious about this and we're not going to just sit here and take it,

I think we'll get some, I think people will start to listen.

Yeah, and Craig,

you know,

that piece of advice cannot just be directed to women.

You know,

this is why I

implore the men in the world who have women that they say they care about, daughters that they are raising,

that this is their issue too.

I mean,

for men to sit on their hands over this issue and trade out women's health for a tax break or whatever it is

is a sad statement about

that man's level of value of the women in their lives.

And there are a lot of men who have,

they have big chairs at their tables.

You know, there are a lot of women who vote the way their man is going to vote.

It happened in this election.

So just to direct this at women, unfortunately, we've seen is not enough.

You know, and we are already facing a doctor shortage coming up because we're getting older.

You know, we're watching this, you know, we're the last of the baby boomers, but we are, there's a huge push, the people that are going to need the most care, and we don't have enough doctors to meet that need.

And so

we've got to figure that out and figure out even more,

I'd say more innovative ways to deliver care, just like in the old days where you would get sick and you call a doctor and he would come to your house.

Okay, when they stop doing that, you're never going to go back and do that again.

Well, we need a real serious innovation change in how care is delivered right now because we don't have enough doctors to backfill.

And

to be a little bit more, you know, to take it even further when people are saying, yeah, well, we need more culturally sensitive doctors, and we do.

But here's the problem: how are you going to get them if you're decimating public schools?

Where are these doctors going to come from?

And diversity programs.

Exactly.

How is that going to happen?

So you've got to figure out a way.

That's why I said

all of it's politics and it's politics and making decisions at the local level, at the state level, for making sure that people are in a position.

Because people like you and me and Michelle, who you know went to Ivy League colleges from public schools,

that's that's a rarity.

That's non-existent.

That's a rarity.

Yeah.

Well, I know I said I'll get to the question.

This has just been a just terrific and enlightening discussion.

But we have a question from Lisa from Chicago.

And let's give a listen.

Hey, this is Lisa from Chicago.

I'm moving up in my career and doing really well.

And I don't want to slow down, but I also want to have a family in the near future.

So I'm wondering, what age should women start freezing their eggs if they're not ready to become pregnant?

What health tips and checkups can both partners do to ensure they're ready to conceive?

This is a topic my husband and I are having, and I'm also hearing more about it from friends.

Thanks.

Yeah, this is a question that

we are getting around our kitchen table from the

next, because we're in that generation.

Our daughters are in that stage in life

where, you know, it's...

Both of us.

Yeah, all of us.

You know, they're deciding between pursuing a career,

you know, how long do they have to wait, finding a mate,

all of those questions

feel more existential.

And I, and, but even given that, I met a young woman that's a part of our world who just froze her eggs

and she's in her 30s and very enlightened, very educated.

She just did it.

But she said she only did it because she heard other people doing it.

She had never heard in all of her enlightened years on this planet about the importance of freezing eggs, that it was even a possibility that she could or even should freeze her eggs.

So that in today's young women,

she said she had never been in a conversation about the importance or the possibility of freezing her eggs.

It's 30-something, early 30s.

That's very interesting because to give you an idea of how much has sort of become part of the conversation and that a lot of the tech companies in an effort to retain female employees and talent, they're using, they're offering egg freezing as a benefit

because, you know, we don't want you to, you know,

we want you to have this and we want to make sure that you're here.

So that will allow you to work longer and do whatever because now you've got this, these, this in the bank.

But there are two issues that that I really want to

distinguish between.

One is egg freezing and the other is embryo freezing.

So say, for instance, if you do IVF, now we have a lot of experience with IVF and a lot of success with IVF.

We are not as far along with egg freezing because egg freezing wasn't a thing until maybe, I want to say, 15 years ago that it even was a possibility.

So even though we could freeze sperm forever and we could, you know, freeze embryos, we just sort of gotten to the technology to be able to freeze eggs.

And just so that we're, we're not assuming things, the difference between egg freezing and embryo freezing is.

Okay, so embryo freezing is just a regular IVF procedure.

If you were doing IVF and you took medications and you had eight eggs, they would fertilize them all.

And you don't want all eight at once.

So they would take, you would take two or three out, freeze the rest so you could come back if that didn't work.

That's what embryo freezing is.

And that we know is pretty successful.

The world of egg freezing is, as I said, relatively new.

And to give you an idea, because it's technologically more difficult to freeze an egg than it is to freeze an embryo, believe it or not.

I did not know that.

Because it has to,

because a certain number of them, you have to freeze them and then you got to unthaw them before you fertilize them.

So if you already had a partner, I would tell any young woman who is like saying, you know what, my husband or my partner and I are planning to have a baby, but not right now.

And I'm 34 years old, you know,

maybe three years from now, because here's the part that I really talk a lot about in my book, In Grown Woman Talk, as we talk about perimenopause and all this, one of the things that we don't talk enough about during perimenopause, which is that period between about 35 and 45 for most women, one of the first things that changes is your fertility.

You're not as fertile at 40 as you were at 30.

And so that's how a lot of women will come to this as they start to realize, oh my goodness, I can't get pregnant.

And that is just because aging of the eggs and that.

And the drop-off is huge and sudden, right?

It is.

But you don't for each individual woman, you don't know how long.

You know, I say you're stamped with the expiration date, and you don't know when your eggs are going to expire.

For some people, it may be 42.

My mother, I was born when my mother was almost 45 years old.

Now, I'm sure she was not well, you were entirely

situated.

You were the last of how many, though, eight, you know, but then she hadn't had a baby since you know, in eight years before I was born.

Oh, I got you.

So, you know what I mean?

Oh, I thought it was menopause, and guess what?

It's you.

So, I say that to say that that's the natural progression of women's fertility.

So, here's the question: Well, if you're a young person and you don't have a partner identified, or you don't have a heterosexual partner, you know, what if you, what are you going to do in terms of

when am I going to decide to freeze my eggs?

Well,

the younger you are when you freeze them, the better outcome you have because you'll get more eggs, you know, from, you'll get a bigger harvest.

But here's the problem.

The younger you are when you freeze them, the less likely you are to come back for them.

Because if you froze your eggs at 30 and you decided to get pregnant at 34 because you found the love of your life or you've made that decision, I would still tell you at 34, well, go get pregnant.

I wouldn't unfreeze your eggs.

I'd only unfreeze your eggs if you had tried on your own.

I get it.

I get it.

But that's why the research is so unclear about

the viability of frozen eggs.

So even though we've been doing it for 15 years, the reality is the number of people who have actually come back for those eggs is depending upon who you read, anywhere from six to maybe 10% of them have people have even come back.

So it's not like everybody, because a lot of people will get get pregnant first.

And that's why trying to tell someone, I would never tell a 25-year-old to freeze their eggs.

How much does all of this cost?

As much as IVF.

It is as much as IFF.

It's as much as IVF.

It's the same shots.

It's the same shots.

It's the same

procedure.

There's no fertilization.

That's all.

And then they freeze them.

And then you have a storage fee every year for every year you don't come back with.

I'm the average storage fee.

It can vary anywhere from like 500 to maybe, I don't know, a month, a year, a year, because they've got keep.

What if there's a power shortage?

That was my next question.

You know, in your place.

So you need to have a very reputable place that you are freezing your eggs and making sure they will still be in business 10 years from now when I come back for them.

So there's a lot of thought process that goes into it.

So what if you say to a 37-year-old who wants to freeze her eggs and you go, okay, you do the whole thing, whatever.

And it's like, ooh, you only got six eggs.

Well, then your success rate is not 70%.

It's somewhere far south of there.

And then you have, like, well, then if you do another round, then take whatever that costs and double it.

And that's the, you know, that's why I said the reality of it.

I don't want, I don't ever want a young woman to think, well, I don't have to decide right now.

I'll just freeze my eggs and not worry about it.

And I think we all as parents understand this.

There's never a point in your life where you say, I'm good.

I got nothing to do for the next 22 years

to raise a child.

There's never a perfect time for it.

And just make sure that whatever the reason is that you're delaying

is a good enough reason for you.

If you look back on that reason and say, well, that was fine because I just could not have done it at that point.

I get that.

But

because it's inconvenient,

you know, just know that there are some real life factors that have to be taken into account.

So, you know, do it.

Don't do it.

Make sure you know why.

No, make sure you know what it costs.

And understand that

frozen egg does not guarantee anyone a baby.

It gives you a chance of having a baby.

Does it make sense for young women, young men to start getting

sort of a sense of their fertility, you know, sort

before all of this.

Like, you know, should young women go in and have ultrasounds to see, does that make any sense to have that on their minds?

Not really, because there's really, other than menopause or perimenopause, there's really not any one thing that is going to really be a predictor of whether or not you're going to be able to get pregnant.

So you can't go in and say, give me a fertility test and tell me how fertile I am right now.

And all I can say to you is, if your periods are regular, you know, and you're getting them every month and you're otherwise healthy, assume it's good.

You know, if you're below a certain amount of time.

So there's no like dietary, you know, exercise, none of that stuff.

You should always do.

Let me just say this.

You know, yeah, just the health thing everybody should do because that's just the cornerstone of everything.

But you can't necessarily improve your fertility.

Right.

I would say the one thing that probably might decrease if you smoke, because there is something about ovarian aging

for women who smoke and for people who you know drink excessive amounts of alcohol that might be a factor but the thing that's different about women than it is about men with men you make a new set of sperm every 69 days you get a new batch right right we are born with all we're ever gonna have

and that's it you we have we always get in the short end i'm telling you isn't it we get all we have sperm after sperm after sperm we can jack ours up with behavior behavior, too, right?

You use that word jack up.

It's like, be careful there.

I was like, where are you going?

Didn't that, dude?

I just,

yes, I was trying not to curse.

I should have cursed.

We might have to bleed that.

No, but seriously,

we can mess ourselves up, too, but not.

I mean, we,

you know, that's what I learned in the IVS.

Well, speaking of that, I don't want to jump away from the question, but I am curious about they,

what is the connection between aging sperm and birth defects?

You know, or are there any correlations?

Because they're going to cut out research in that too.

It's like, no, I'm 80 and I'm good.

I'm still good.

You know, it does, you know, see now, now, see, now you've touched on a nerve now because, you know, my mother was 45 and my dad was 66 when I was born.

Who knows what I could have been?

That's just me.

You know,

you know, it's like you're just coming in on the the last of everything sharing just squeezing out the last my brain stuff

i might have two or three nobel prizes by now you know probably smoked and drank like my mom did

oh my god my

but yeah so there there is at least some you know again anecdotal data that says the older sperm more autism we should tell some people like maybe it's the old sperm maybe it's not the vaccine that's causing the autism you know

they'll never let vaccine

good luck with that one.

That may be the key behind all the defunding everything.

It's just like, let's just blow it up.

And then the old men can't let them find this stuff out.

Old men can keep marrying 20-year-olds.

Exactly.

It's like, I'll give you the baby you want.

So

we don't have to keep that.

No way.

Yeah, I'm already in trouble with the guys because they don't think they got to go to the doctor's appointment with you.

Now I'm going to be a ton.

All right.

We don't have to keep this part in too, but I, but it's funny that you said it about going to the doctor's appointment.

And I will have to be honest about this is that I love it when men come with their wives.

When, you know, again, we're talking about stuff or we're talking about fertility or we're talking about your surgery or whatever.

I do find it weird when a dude is sitting at the end of the table when I'm doing the pelvic exam.

I'm like, because I only had like two people that would do that.

And I was like, yeah, but why would they sit at the end?

Just sit up by your wife.

Be where she is.

I know.

Go to the head of the table.

All right.

So they're down there with you.

This is good.

This is educational for men.

If you're going to go,

don't get in the way of the exam.

In the wrong side of the examination.

You don't really need to be in for the exam.

You can be there for the exam.

For the information.

For the information.

You can finish talking part after, but you don't need to be there to watch me doing what I'm doing.

No, you don't need that.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Yeah.

But the thing, see, for women too, it's that same thing about why we are born, we're born with all the eggs that we're going to have.

That's why birth defects, you know, things like Down syndrome and other

sort of chromosomal defects happen in women because our eggs are as old as we are.

We never get a new batch.

Yeah.

So they don't function as well in that process.

And that's why birth defects go up with age and miscarriages go up with age.

This has been really helpful for me.

And I want to get to some takeaways for Lisa on the freezing eggs.

And

the two that I jotted down, and tell me if I have these wrong, is don't freeze your eggs too early was something I thought you could do it at any point in time and bank it like it's money.

And you know why?

Because again, because we don't have enough experience to say how long will they last.

And right now, the current recommendation is that you should come back for them by 10 years.

Okay.

So, but we don't know.

You know, will they last 20?

I don't know.

They don't know either.

And if you freeze them at 25, you may not be ready.

Ready at 35.

Exactly.

Or you may have just got by 25.

Now 35, you're married.

So you go ahead and have them the other way.

So you spent, you know, tens of thousands of dollars on the freezing plus the storage plus all of that.

And I always say this, if it's a a benefit on your job, okay.

Yeah, right.

You know, but if you

really have to go in, dig in your pocket, then I would say ideally, I would not do it before

30.

Yeah.

Unless there's some

other rationale for it.

That was new.

That's new news, right?

I think for a lot of people.

And then how about pick the right place?

Yeah.

It's like you have to really investigate these places where you're sending your AI.

You can do your research and make, and but here, all right, here's another little piece about what's problematic today: is that I just read something last week, is that the part, the part of the CDC, which collects all this statistics on this, has been dismantled.

So now you are, there is no government agency that's going to,

you know, collect all this data so you will be able to evaluate one center versus the other.

Now you may be left to whatever they say is what it is.

So that's a problem.

Well, those were two that I picked up on.

Am I missing anything or have you got?

And I was saying, if you have a partner or you have someone identified that you want to be the sperm donor,

if you have the opportunity, freeze an embryo, don't freeze an egg.

Yeah.

Well, this, this is good for Lisa.

And it's good for me to hear.

And I think for the guys out there, this is good for them to hear.

So I really appreciate it.

And I want the men out there, be involved in the like, you know, it doesn't have to be your partner.

If you've got any women in your life who are willing and open to help educate you, seek it out.

Sharon.

Thank you for the book.

And

we have to talk about your podcast.

You have your podcast that's coming up.

I want to hear about it.

Because we're going to be able to hear from Sharon a whole lot more and dig deeper into a whole range of issues because you are working on your own podcast.

Tell us all about it.

You know what?

My podcast is called The Second Opinion or TSO.

So we have IMO, we have TSO.

I would love it.

And what I really want to do with this is to go deeper into some of the issues and to really hear from women about the things that they may be wrestling with and may not have gotten good answers for.

And here's the reason why I love the title of the podcast is because I know a lot, but I don't know everything.

And sometimes, guess what?

I need a second opinion.

And when we're talking about topics that I am not the subject matter expert, I have no problems getting those people involved such that we make sure that, you know, in your five to seven minutes that you get in your doctor's office, you may not get all your questions answered, but we're going to try to take care of them on the second opinion.

I love it.

So exciting.

And I would be remiss to say that TSO is a part of the higher ground audio family.

And

as proud as I am of all the work you put into Grown Women Talk, I know that.

TSO is going to have the same level of candor, humor.

Are you going to have some good music to your podcast?

Because what we didn't mention that, you know, Sharon's book, Grown Woman Talk, comes with a playlist because my girl loves her music.

And sprinkled throughout every story, she has a song that goes with it, you know.

And it is a fun,

it's a fun playlist.

See, now that's a great idea because what I'm going to do with each episode, or maybe once a month, we'll have a TSO playlist.

See, but you know, my friend, your sister over here, you know that.

Yeah, I know.

I know.

See,

this was her way to get us to talk about how good her music tasted.

I wasn't even thinking about it.

I wasn't even thinking about it.

What I was thinking about is that I am looking

forward to having Sharon back on IMO.

I am looking forward to having some great conversations with you, more candid, more focused on TSO.

Because this issue, if anyone couldn't tell, is near and dear to my heart.

Health and women's health has been at the core of my advocacy since I've been in the public eye.

I believe strongly that we as women have to take ownership over our health.

I live my life by that motto, and I've been better off.

You know, I mean, my physical health is directly linked to my mental health.

And what got me through so many of the tough times over the last decade was the fact that, you know, I felt good inside.

And I think it's incumbent upon us to share that good news with other women because it's something we can do.

You know, we don't have to be athletes climbing up a mountain.

We just have to get up and move a little bit, eat better, be advised, believe in science,

and have candid conversations with the people that we love.

It's doable.

I just want us to do it.

So I am grateful, Sharon, that you are going to be the voice of that conversation.

So so excited.

And thank you for welcoming me to the family.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Gonna be good.

Gonna be good.

Actually, thanks for letting the guy be in on this discussion.

This was very well I think you need to be in or more guys, I shouldn't say you,

but you know, that's going to be a part of it, right?

Sharing, having those male voices around the table, people who are educated, but those men who are totally clueless, so that the men can feel comfortable in their cluelessness, that it doesn't, you know,

it doesn't prevent them from being at the table asking all kinds of questions.

It's better to ask and be wrong than not ask at all.