Episode 404: Jim Reviews SummerSlam 2025

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Two to

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Two to

the top and to

All right, long and sloppy this week, like the wrestling.

Hello again, friends.

And you are our friends.

We may have missed a few notes, but we're here to recap all of them today.

Welcome to another edition of Jim Cornett's drive-thru, a special edition to Jim's deep dive into SummerSlam 2025.

Two nights of spectacular action, the best weather we've had all summer here in New Jersey.

I'm rambling.

Yes.

I'm your host, the great Brian Last, and here he is, the reviewer himself, the leader of the cult of Cornet,

Mr.

Jim Cornet.

The best weather you've had in a while, and you spin it like that, suckers.

And as far as a deep dive, there's no water in the pool.

I could hoits myself.

You know,

I was ready to say

going into this thing that at least the WWE,

at least the WWE, see how I rewound that.

At least the WWE

had

the kindness and the compassion to do their six and a half to seven hour show in two parts instead of AEW, where they just

shat it all out like projectile diarrhea.

But I'm not sure which, because then

you get a break in the middle where you think you're almost free, and then you have to go back to it, and you see more of the same thing that always happens.

AEW, AEW's pay-per-views, I should say,

are like going out with your best friends and having the greatest, wildest night of your life.

And you're going to sleep late the next day.

Who are you friends with?

And you're going to sleep late the next day, and you're going to have a really bad hangover.

But then the day after that, you'll be back to back to normal.

WWEs are, you go out for a few drinks, but somehow you feel really woozy and you get a shitty night's sleep, and then you wake up and you do it all again, knowing there's more right around the corner.

It's a different feeling.

So it's like it's what you're saying is AEW is binge drinking, whereas WWE is more like a habitual problem, a systemic pattern of abuse.

Yeah, I think there's a difference between

abuse

and addiction.

And I think AEW is like wrestling addiction for their fans.

And then WWE is like wrestling abuse

for its fans.

I think that's a very good distinction.

Oh,

it's abusing me.

I'll tell you what, it's abusing me, ladies and gentlemen.

Summer Slam weekend is come and gone, and I feel used and abused.

I will say, before we start talking about this

epic that we witnessed from the swamps of New Jersey, as I believe Michael Cole said, I had a wonderful time Saturday.

I had a wonderful day Saturday because Saturday morning, it was like 62, 63 degrees outside about seven o'clock at the castle.

It had not.

been below 70 degrees the entire month of July at any time of the day or night here in this town.

And we dropped the

dew point, got the humidity out of here.

And I had one of the Monroe brothers, Alf Monroe.

Ralph couldn't come.

She was on vacation in Pigeon Forge.

But Alf came over and I got outside for the first time in three months since it's been so miserable and oppressive and hot and swampy.

And I did yard work.

And we weeded the flower beds around the house.

And I got my limb lopper out.

And he was up on the dagum roof cleaning the leaf gunk off of the fucking area of the roof there that comes together.

I don't know what you call that angle.

And just

work, work, work.

And I had my sweatshirt on and my sweatpants because even though it was not that chilly,

And if I'm, I'm crawling underneath the evergreen bush.

I don't want to get the poison ivy.

And you got ticks and various assorted fucking giant spiders and all types of things out in the wilderness.

And I sweated off some poundage, Brian.

And by

four o'clock came and I felt like that I'd just been

the pedestrian victim of a hit and run accident on Broadway.

And I don't use those muscles.

I was down on my hands and knees and gripping and pulling weeds and clawing and wheelbarrowing and such.

And I don't use a lot of it, I use my brain muscles more often.

So by the time I finished with all that and took a shower and I weighed myself, guess how much weight I lost Saturday in

an eight-hour period?

You're already skin and bones.

Eight-hour period of Saturday, six pounds.

You are a little bit off, five pounds.

I lost five pounds.

And then I'll have you know that because then I couldn't turn my head, I couldn't lift my arm up, I couldn't bend over, everything hurt, I was sore.

Stacy got me a big bag of dairy queen,

and I had some bacon cheeseburgers and some onion rings and some French fries.

And I got one of those big old

insulated mugs that they have with the metal mug thing.

You put one

cube cube of ice in it and put the top on it set it out in the saara desert a week later you come back your cube still i got one of those

and filled it up with ice and kept pouring sprite zeros in there and guess how much weight i gained back by the next morning six pounds five pounds the same thing i lost i gained it exactly back

Of course, one time I weighed, I was wearing socks.

So that might throw the...

That was five pounds of Sprite Zero?

Well, a couple of double bacon cheeseburgers and onion rings and a french fries did probably didn't hurt any.

But I felt I'd earned it after going out and doing honest toil in the soil.

Considering how healthy for Jim Cornette you've been,

do you ever have one of these celebratory, I don't know if that's even the right word, any of these burgers nowadays?

And you take a bite and you feel like gross, like, you know, I'm doing such good work.

No, oh, God.

I don't want to eat this and mess up the progress no well but besides that i'm still i eat a burger of some kind either self-concocted or something that's been

prepared out

uh you know regularly still these i'm just not as as overdoing it and as constantly and

i don't have to lose a significant amount of weight now.

What are your self-concocted burgers, like squirrel and chipmunk?

No, I'm talking to this.

I'm just, I'm, I'm self-preparing it.

I'm cooking it at home.

I'm, I'm making it to my specifications.

Or I can just order out because every burger is different.

You can't, you can't duplicate.

Burgers are like snowflakes, Brian.

You can't duplicate

anybody.

Everybody's burger is different.

Every restaurant, every individual.

You can start with the same ingredients, but it's the way it's prepared.

You're going to come completely different every time.

That's why

only

God can make a tree,

but he can't make everybody's burger for them.

See, you've heard that old saying.

I've never heard that expression ever.

Well, that's what they used to say when I was a kid.

I don't know.

Who are these people?

All of the people.

All of the people used to say this.

All of the people.

Wow, we were a united culture around this saying.

I had no idea.

Most people agreed about things back in the old days.

It's only when Twitter came along.

Goddamn idiot.

Your hamburger sucks.

Fuck you.

I hate anyone who eats hamburgers like you.

Die, hamburger boy.

All righty then.

But yeah, so I had a wonderful day Saturday because I was getting ready because I knew my next 48 hours, and it hadn't even been been 48 hours yet, we're still early on the Monday.

I knew that was going to be just hell on earth from the overabundance and overindulgence and over saturation

of the thing that happens over and over again.

All right, that was happy talk.

And Jim, we have a lot of modern wrestling to get to.

And today, this will be a special drive-through.

That'll be pretty much all we get to because there's a lot to talk about and things coming out.

Well, don't say that.

It's going to take us so long to delve into this.

Basically, say it's a big pay-per-view, spectacular show.

And then, and then we're going to be coming back with more before you know it in the next few days.

That's the way you pray.

You don't say it's

just all we're going to do today.

Well, there's going to be a lot of action.

We're just sitting here with our dicks in our hands.

We prepared for this shit.

I got notes.

All right.

Well, good.

My dick is in my pants, ladies and gentlemen, for the record.

Before we get to the contemporary action.

Your hands in your pay.

Your hands could be in your pants.

My hands

are right here on the desk.

Or is that my dick?

You'll never know.

I'm flop.

Put your hands on the radio, ladies and gentlemen.

All right.

Well, Jim, before we get to the contemporary action, as I was saying, a couple of quick mentions here because some books landed on my desk.

I just want to to give everyone a mention.

Sean Delaney

has a new book, The History of Professional Wrestling in Evansville, Indiana, 1970 to 1971.

It's been out for a few weeks.

You're just getting it now?

It just arrived.

Sorry for the delay, it says, but there it is.

And also, he sent another book.

I don't know when this came out.

Worked.

The true story of a professional wrestler caught between the FBI and the Tennessee judge they wanted to take down.

Well, that that sounds like it's even worse than getting caught between the moon and New York City.

Well, there it is.

Check them out.

And thank you, Sean, for sending it.

I do appreciate it.

And we would talk more about the Evansville book, but we already did.

Just Brian didn't have it at that point.

And I want to mention this because the old address gimmick.

This is right down my alley, and I'm so in love with these.

Scott Teal just put out three books: professional wrestling and comic strips, illustrations, cartoons, and clip art, volumes one through three.

I know it just rolls right off the tongue.

But these are incredible.

If you are a nerd, a mark for old newspapers, old newspaper comics, wrestling's coverage in old newspapers, wrestling art, these are extraordinary.

They go back to the turn of the century.

And I don't know if you've ever seen it.

The turn of the century before last, as a matter of fact.

Well, that's right.

Two centuries ago, that turn.

Yes.

it was a big turn, ladies and gentlemen.

It was the biggest turn of the year.

Turn of the century.

It comes up to more modern times.

It's chronological, is what it is.

It goes in order.

But I agree, it is fascinating.

They are fascinating.

And

more in more explanatory terms, Scott has taken

not only just like stories from the newspaper on wrestling or illustrations like, but also comic strips that had an ongoing pro-wrestling storyline from various eras, and/or posters that have been drawn that were

the old-fashioned,

try to figure out how to describe these now, the old-fashioned sports collages that the artists used to do of the famous baseball player, the football player, whatever, whatever pertains to wrestling.

So it's

for illustrations and

comic fans, art fans, and wrestling fans, it hits the, it's a very, as you said,

nerdy conglomerate there.

I love it.

It's fantastic.

I have it here in the office.

Three books set by Scott Teal, CrowbarPress.com.

Check it out.

If you're someone who enjoys the wrestling history lessons, like,

you know, Ed Strangler Lewis and Jim Londis and Frank Gotch, The Terrible Turk.

That time, and so much more.

Check out these books.

I'm such a big mark for these, I have have to say.

Well,

yeah.

Jim, before we get to that.

That's a deep subject, as Mama Cornette used to say.

I'm trying to take as long as I can to get there, but Cornett's Collectibles at JimCornet.com.

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Well, why would you need to dilly-dally about when talking about something so crucial to the American economy?

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All right, Jim.

Well, let's get now to this big weekend of action from WWE here in the tri-state area.

They were in New Jersey for SummerSlam, but there's one thing that we have to talk about on Friday on SmackDown in Brooklyn.

This was,

in some ways, astounding.

This was

an about face.

This was

talk about turning.

Bobby Ewing in the shower.

Bobby Ewing in the shower, perhaps?

Yeah, Bobby Ewing in the shower, I think, is a good example.

Unreal is on, where they show everything that set up the heel turn for for John Cena, but on SmackDown, we got to see them take down the heel turn for John Cena.

What are your thoughts on all this?

This is the first time that I've ever seen,

I think, anywhere them just come out and basically, without saying the words, say, yeah,

we fucked this whole thing up so far.

And they did say the word crazy idea.

We listened to this dipshit and his pimply faced fucking accomplice that slunk in and fucked up all of our shit.

And now we just, we're just, we're going to drop it.

Folks, if you didn't know, John Cena and Cody Rhodes had their

last confrontation or

discussion, as it turned out, before SummerSlam, before the big title match, the big street fight.

The big grudge settler, they fucking Cena kicked him in the balls and stole his belt and fucking fucking

said awful, horrible thing.

Remember, Brian, when I said that one promo he did about the fans

was so goddamn brutal and personal.

And I said, how do you ever apologize for that?

What act could he ever commit that would,

you know, would possibly atone for saying that about those people.

He didn't even worry about it.

He just, you know what?

I'm going to take my head out of my ass now.

I don't know what I was thinking.

And that was it.

Cody, you've been saying that you want the real John Cena.

You've been saying that I'm bad, whatever.

I thought about it.

You're right.

Okay, this is over.

What was that?

It was so

now let's have a street fight.

No, but

yeah,

I forgot about the stipulation.

That's That's right.

Here's the, here's the, oh, god damn it.

Oh, God, they finally broke me.

They're coming to take me away.

Ha ha, he, he.

So Cena comes out.

He does the entrance and they pop for him, but they still sing John Cena sucks and, you know, in the mixed chants and everything.

And he's the stone face where he just milks his big introduction and.

gets the cheers and the booze and then they chant again and he doesn't say a word and then they play cody's music and here's another long ass entrance where they sing his song

and whoa

and cody cody rhodes cody roads

and we're 10 minutes into the show before the first word that one of the talents says and it's john cena

He said, I got to tell you something, Cody.

I told you

I was too tired for SummerSlam.

I was exhausted.

I didn't want to have a street fight, but you assaulted me and you forged my signature on a contract for the most dangerous match in the WWE.

Thank you.

This was the boot and the ass I needed.

What the fuck?

He has.

Impressionable people, if he had said to them personally, what he's said to people all over the world on TV the last six months, that why, my guy, they'd have been hospitalized with mental anguish.

But, you know,

I made a reputation on hustle, loyalty, and respect.

And now I realize I just flushed it down the toilet to follow somebody's crazy idea

to make shocking television.

And then

they all left.

They went back to wherever they came from.

And I'm here.

Basically, then Rock and his fucking retinue, the Rocky retinue,

they fucking bail because of the rapper and all these fucking people

because they're

whatever the fuck.

And I'm left alone pretending I'm something I'm not.

Because as we will recall, apparently The Rock was so adamant about Cody turning and Cody was equally adamant about that would be insane.

Then they went to John, and John's like, He's like, Okay, I'll try anything.

He's that kind of guy, right?

What the fuck, I guess.

Differences it make, but

but he thought I'm sure they were going to follow up on it with some shit they told him that apparently has never come to pass.

And then The Rock never came back, and instead we get to see trailers for his movies on the pay-per-view events.

Yeah.

And Travis Scott, the word is, even though it seemed like it did not help them, it didn't get him any buzz.

There weren't Travis Scott fans diving into wrestling.

The word was, he's a really big fan.

We want to embrace this.

You won't believe what a big fan he is.

And unlike Jellyroll, who apparently moved into the developmental center to train, Travis Scott couldn't be found again.

And now Drew's calling him some fucking asshole.

All the wrestlers, I saw Biggie or maybe it wasn't Biggie.

It was someone I just saw on uh wwe tv same thing running them down for taking five minutes to get to the ring so they're all just going to town on him now but so so basically then cody is standing there

and cena launches into that and cena can talk for god's sake and has the expressive face and knows what to do

And

you try to tell me, Cody, but I didn't listen.

And you forced me into a fight.

And then

he did the fired-up babyface promo with his voice cracking.

By the time he was finished, the fans cheered and started chanting, Cena, Cena.

And he says, The fans are the real winners on Sunday.

You want some?

Come get some.

The only, well, as a matter of fact, then he said the only platinum rapper showing up is me.

And he actually dropped the microphone, literally.

And the people went absolutely crazy.

And Cody's standing there.

He looked like the cop on the first day on the job that I described in the story about Vince peeling off and throwing gravel at his face.

Only it was shit.

He was

like, what is he going to say?

So he didn't say anything.

He asked for two beers.

Apparently now.

We know that the fucking ringside crew is just down in the Real Americas in the commercial break, right?

Because they had two beers standing by at Ringside.

And he said, Welcome back, John Cena.

And they shook hands and drank two cans of Hulk Hogan's beer.

And Cody left, and the fans were cheering John Cena.

And I was, what the fuck is happening?

So now they just came out and said,

We fucked this whole thing up.

We're sorry.

We're just gonna.

We decided the day before the pay-per-view that we're just gonna change things up right now.

The whole thing was bizarre.

Cody Rhodes managed to be in an angle with John Cena here on SmackDown, which was the main thing on SmackDown,

in the main event of SummerSlam, winning the title.

And on both occasions, he's an afterthought.

He's not the interesting party in any of this.

Well, and he's being booed when he gets his belt back that the guy stole from him after he fucking kicked him in the balls and all that shit.

And

then they figure out a way to make he gets his belt back.

Oh, fuck.

I mean, they cheered him still, but they were booing him in the match.

And again,

do you think on Unreal next year, whatever, are they going to tell us what this was supposed to be before the last couple of weeks?

And were they just

what the fuck?

Well, again, we do need to still watch the rest of the first run of that show.

They just renewed it.

But yeah, but I have a feeling, and if it's if that show has been finished and edited for the past week, even that they might not have had the same outcome in mind.

I'm serious.

Cody's an afterthought.

Your whole thought coming out of that was this is the turn?

It wasn't even about Cody at that point.

It was just Cena just said, okay, I'm a babyface again

the day before SummerSlam.

Well, two days before their match.

And then he wins the title.

Nobody's talking about it.

Nobody gives a shit that he won the title.

And who's he going to work with?

I mean, they could just create something, you know, tonight on Raw or whenever.

But is there anything that they've set up for him to do?

Anyone for him to work with other than Like if Roman decided he wanted a title, but then you have babyface versus babyface again.

So it wouldn't.

Well, and also let's clarify one thing because I saw a lot of people before,

after the SmackDown promo, but before the match at SummerSlam, they were like, oh, it's going to be a double turn.

This was not a, even though the people were booing Cody during the match, it was not a double turn.

I think it's worse because at least if Cody had...

come out of it, if he'd have kicked him in the balls and left him for fucking Brock to chew his carotid artery or whatever, whatever, that Cody may be better off than now.

Now,

because

it wasn't a double turn, Cody didn't turn.

He just became the fucking

also ran second place, sad kick in this whole thing.

But he did not turn, so therefore he's just a

the people just wanted to see the guy that kicked him and the balls win more.

Is the dream over now?

And now he's back to being a babyface Cena, or is it not over really until he officially has his last match in a few months?

Because after that point, he's gone.

He's right now the center.

I mean, what they did at the pay-per-view, that's what you want to see.

What's going to be next with this?

But in a few months, it's over.

In a few months, Cody has to step up again.

Not that he has to step down, but

they need Cody ready to be a top guy again.

And right now, more people are booing him than any time in WWE since he returned.

Well, do they,

you know, we'll talk more about it when we get to the finish of the last thing, but

do they have Brock

somehow make himself such a heel by savaging Cena before his retirement that then Brock and Cody feels that he has to slay Brock

to close this whole thing up?

I don't fucking know.

And who sent Brock?

At this point, we're one step closer to Vince being back on TV.

Maybe Vince is behind.

Vince is behind the whole Cena year.

We'll find out.

Sable sent Brock.

Oh.

Sable said, get out of the fucking house once in a while.

Go make $10 million.

Well, that was the John Cena babyface turn.

I guess that's the only thing we can call it.

A very interesting thing.

Jim, John Cena brought up

platinum wrappers.

Yes.

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Over in my what?

Over in yours.

Over over, well, and over in yours too, there, pal.

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Well, Jim, a successful weekend.

if you are a wrestling fan running around, of course, if you're into more wrestling, there were wrestling conventions in different parts of the country.

There were all sorts of independent events.

But the main event, of course,

SummerSlam.

According to them, the biggest SummerSlam of all time.

Two nights in East Rutherford, New Jersey, MetLive Stadium.

Let's talk about night one.

Well, it was definitely the longest Summer Slam of all time.

And attendance-wise,

because they get to count two nights, you know, it'd be hard for one of the one-night

summer slams to have a bigger attendance than a two-night, wouldn't it?

When you get right down to it, if you're just talking factually.

What did SummerSlam do in?

Well, SummerSlam in the...

In the

big SummerSlam they had in the 80s.

Where was it in Wembley Stadium?

That was in 1992.

There were only two SummerSlams in the 80s, Madison Square Garden for the debut in 88.

And of course, the second one in East Rutherford, New Jersey, SummerSlam 89, Feel the Heat.

All right, Randy McNally.

I'm just saying in 92, they had 70,000 people or whatever for Bulldog and Brett, right?

That's right.

Bulldog and Brett.

Well,

is it fair to their incredible achievement

to be able to add the total attendance from two nights and beat that, that still doesn't seem fair.

Well, the other thing is, beyond attendance,

and this may sound like a crazy thing to a promoter like you, but beyond attendance, sometimes, you know, what's the biggest event?

It's more than just the attendance, it's the actual matches and the things that matter and people are buzzing for.

And it didn't feel like this was the biggest SummerSlam ever in that respect.

Well, then, that's that's part of it also is

I've said this before, but on pay-per-view, on television, every moment used to count.

And even though what entertained Vince McMahon sometimes wasn't necessarily entertaining the rest of the world,

he got mad when you had TV where nothing was happening and nothing entertaining was going on at that particular time.

They had a wonderful hour and 45-minute fucking show each night.

It just took them three hours and 15 minutes to do it.

But I think part of it, you can't get a flow between the commercials and the travelogues and the spots for the sake of the spots and the little advertising placements and the reads and the guests and the

drawn-out

entrances just by the fact that they got to walk fucking three and a half miles in a stadium to get to the ring.

It just brings the

energy down.

And then

there was a couple of big things that you mentioned, Brian, where people wanted to see what was going to happen with Cena and Cody.

They wanted to see,

to some extent, what was going to happen with Jellyroll, I'm sorry to say.

But because it was spread out over, it was diluted so much by just let's have 12 matches and we can have everybody on the card because we've got two nights to fill.

There's no urgency anymore.

And there's no, like,

goddamn, this,

we used to attack angles, even in the 90s, WWF days, much less in the 80s when it was really important, attack angles and issues and the card.

And have we got it right?

Because it meant

success or failure and feast or famine.

baloney or fucking filet

and now they're making so much goddamn money and And I'm not talking about the boys, not I'm talking about everybody.

They're making so much money.

They could just do this shit.

And let's just,

let's spend a couple minutes on pyro here.

Do you see what I'm saying?

Do you understand what I am saying?

I do.

That's the way I felt too.

I mean, there are moments.

WWE is now built on giving people big moments, big surprise pops,

more than,

I don't know, more than the matches or anything else.

There are certain things that click, but a lot of stuff is just happening.

And people are staring at it.

But it doesn't seem, again, it doesn't seem as hot.

Doesn't seem, you use the word urgent.

It doesn't seem to be a lot of that.

This is, I've said it for a while, this whole year since the beginning, since the Royal Rumble, has kind of felt off.

Some of that's the rock.

Some of that's the scene of heel turn, but it's more than that.

It's, it's,

they're almost just giving you enough to propel things to the next thing,

but they're barely giving you anything like they used to, it seems like.

Meanwhile, they're charging more, they're selling more,

they're doing great business.

It may be down a little bit from the peak, but they're doing extraordinary business and not giving away too much.

Well, and what do you say?

Down a little bit from the peak as far as selling live event tickets, maybe, but the TV money and all the sponsorships and the bribes that the cities are giving them to please come here and all that stuff.

That's why I say it's just

if you,

every once in a while, you'll have a good little wrestling match if you can just wade through all this stuff.

And speaking of which, oh, who is Breland?

Who is Breland who sang the national anthem?

It's like listening to one of the chipmunks slowed down.

I'm not too familiar with Mr.

Breland.

Why couldn't they have had Cardi B?

Because she's a singer, right?

Why couldn't she have done the national anthem and we could have saved some time?

Because she was the host.

But she's a singer who didn't sing.

She's more of a rapper than a singer.

And also, you know, rapping in the studio is a little different than singing the national, not even the national anthem, America the Beautiful.

Or whatever the fuck it was.

Well, Breland did it.

It wasn't like just because he couldn't sing didn't meant anything to him.

It's so awkward, too, when they have some people like Breland.

And there were two young ladies who did a country rendition of the, that's it, national national anthem again of God Bless America the next night.

And then later on, they show them in the crowd.

I guess before they're shuffled away so someone else could sit in those seats.

The crowd doesn't react.

The crowd reacted a little bit more to WWE icon Stephanie McMahon, naturally.

But like the people they have singing there, they don't react to.

And then they go to like a commercial for something else.

I mean, there was a lot of commercials and some of it seemed like had nothing to do with wrestling at all.

It's just like, oh, this is a commercial.

And, you know, again, they're with a company that represents a lot of different people, a lot of different talent.

And

there's a lot.

There's a lot going on.

There's no skyline of East Rutherford, New Jersey.

So they showed the view of New York City from East Rutherford.

I've seen that many times.

But back to Cardi B.

I'd heard the name before.

So nobody could say I didn't know who Cardi B was.

I knew that there was a Cardi B.

I just had no visual reference and I've never heard her speak.

So I have two questions.

One, is that who Mercedes Moon is trying to be?

And secondly, is her gimmick that she screams incoherently at people that she's never met just because she's so excited?

I don't think Mercedes is based on her.

I could be wrong, but I don't think so.

And secondly, I don't think she does too many promos.

So I don't think that's really her gimmick.

I think she just again, these people sing and do their thing, but not too many people give a mic and say, Here, go out there and do a promo.

So, she was excited, she seemed to be in.

She was wearing a preposterous dress, she said nothing, contributed nothing, screamed like a banshee.

We had to listen to some of her rotten song, and then it was over.

And she couldn't even be bothered to sing the rotten song on her way out.

What good is she?

What did she do here?

What purpose did she serve?

Again,

did they sell a bunch of tickets when they say, oh, Cardi B is going to be here?

Oh, shit.

Got to go now.

Wouldn't have touched it with a goddamn 10-foot pole before.

No, they used to use any celebrity they could, like in the old days, but they would really hype them up to be bigger than you thought they were.

Bob Euchre will be there.

You would think Bob Euchre was like the biggest actor in the world.

And he was great, you know, but they would hype people up.

And

I think the goal was that people would actually want to see this person somehow involved in the wrestling.

Liberace, Muhammad Ali, whatever.

They barely built up the Cardi B thing.

They announced she was hosting a while back.

And I don't think anyone gave a shit.

And it's not even about her at that point.

Well, that was pretty much it for her, right?

The open thing here, because I

shot her in the crowd.

They shot her in the crowd.

Okay,

that's where she ought to be

so then we started out with the tag team match uh and it was a bright ass day in new jersey the the

the the the it doesn't have the nice ambiance till it gets dark up there

but by the time that jay uso yeeted through the entire stadium and got to ringside

And thank God he must have felt like, because thank God Roman was next because he got like five more minutes to breathe, Jay.

And Roman was in about five minutes later.

And then here came the

bronze reed and breaker.

And they rang the bell for the first match.

It was already 20 minutes into the show.

But

again,

you know.

I think they started off with probably the definitely the future of the company and probably the best athletic display.

And they kind of tapered down from there over the course of the

weekend.

But I love

Bronson Reed and Braun Breaker as a tag team with Paul Heyman.

And whether or not

Seth Rollins, we'll get to that, whether or not Seth Rollins was involved in the group, that strengthens it.

But

if you made Braun Breaker

and Bronson Reed the tag team champions and make them a regular tag team while Seth Rollins is in a group as the world champion,

and then later on

there can be tension because they've clearly,

well, first with the tag team champions, then they could just mow down all of the other tag teams that were in that stupid ladder match on the roster because they've made all of them equal and meaningless on the mid-card.

Just beat them all.

And then top guys

would have to start teaming up to try to face and conquer Reed and Breaker.

And then that might even be something that renovated the Usos for a short run to help Jimmy out a little bit, if nothing else.

There's my yard mowers.

But then you'd have a tag team, a set of tag team champions that meant something, and you'd have some action in the tag team division that you could put at the top of the cards.

And at the same time, then because they've clearly placed Braun Breaker ahead of Bronson Reed in the pecking order, because they know he is the future star and he can talk and blah, blah, blah.

Then eventually you could have issues between Braun Breaker and Seth Rollins

over who is the dominant guy in the group, much less tag team or single or whatever.

And then you could do whatever you wanted out of that.

Do you see where I'm going with this, Brian?

I like the idea that they could do something to elevate these guys and put them in this group and elevate the tag team title at the same time.

And, you know, with tag teams like Roman Reigns and fucking Jey Uso, then as baby faces to challenge them or the Usos or whatever,

you might start making people think the tag team belts are important again.

Yeah, I mean, I agree with you.

I mean, I'll just say it here.

I'm kind of not enthused about Moore Rollins.

I was really looking forward to him being out for a long time with a knee in.

Even after we started thinking it could be a work, I was like, no, I really just want him off raw for an extended period of time.

I had really sold myself on liking the idea that Paul gave the case to Broad Breaker.

It would have been better.

Hey, listen,

if night one ended with Braun Breaker coming out there to cash in, I would have been happier.

I know people were happy because the heel, whose song they like to sing, won.

But I think

I was really looking forward to it.

Goddamn, in that case, Elton John could have been a hell of a wrestler.

But anyway, this tag team match, I'm not going to go blow by blow.

But they all four know what they're doing to some extent.

Jay, again, the timing issues and the,

you know, the whole thing, but they're over.

Braun Breaker is the future of the business.

You know, again,

they set up at one point, they set up what I thought was going to be the hottest hot tag that I'd seen in a while in this whole company.

Jay was about to make it to Roman and the heels with perfect timing.

Right as Jay dove, they jerked Roman off the apron of the ring so that Jay missed.

So it was a great hot tag attempt and a great foil.

But then

when Jay turned around and a minute later, DDT'd Bronson Reed and Roman got back up to the apron and they just did simultaneous tags.

I mean,

it was a big pop for Roman anyway because they wanted to see him come in.

But they made the perfect hot tag just seconds earlier, except they didn't actually make it.

It was a false hot tag,

and then the real hot tag was blah simultaneous.

Here you go.

I was like, fuck.

But nevertheless,

you know,

the same shit,

the pattern starts where

there's a, you know, the big dives.

And even Roman hit a big dive where he actually went over both of the heels, almost, it took a giant backdrop to the floor.

And it got back up.

And

you they teased Braun Breaker and Roman Reigns, which everybody wants to see at some point.

But then they would get, you know, broken off into some other combination.

But there is some more

dives where Bronson Reed, I think it was, dove on both of the baby faces and went right through them face first.

But thankfully, he was okay.

And

Braun Breaker brought out the old Steiner Bulldog.

They gave it to Uso.

But it just.

What'd you think of the Roman dive where he cleared both Braun and Bronson?

And well, yeah, no, that's the one where he took that big, it looked like he took a giant backdrop, just a big double backdrop over to the floor.

But that's the thing is that they're all doing these fucking things, and they've set in a pattern that nothing can stop anybody.

And I liked Braun Breaker.

He had taken the straps down once to fucking, you know, go crazy.

And then he got mad and he put them back up to take them back down again.

I mean, this kid is going to make tens of millions of dollars.

It's just, it's insane.

I haven't seen anybody this good in fucking 20 years.

But nevertheless, after

all of that, you know, they're almost kill each other and they fucking, you know, the finishes over and over.

Then Uso hit Reed with a super kick and splashed him one, two, three.

So I wrote at the bottom: a pleasure to watch Braun Breaker so good, so young.

Rest of it,

too many stunts and a little long over 20 minutes.

I forgot about the spear through the barrier.

They did that.

Remember when you had never seen anybody get speared through the barrier?

Oh, shit, look at that.

It's every week.

And now it's the same place every time, too.

And they think it's,

it's, yeah, I know when people go to see the fucking Rolling Stones in concert, they want to hear Jumpin' Jack Flash, but how can the most shocking thing that's ever happened happen at every show?

But nevertheless, I'm being nitpicky already.

Brian, your thoughts while I regain my composure.

I thought it was okay.

You know, it was the opening match.

They wanted to get people going.

Braun Breaker, I agree.

He's so impressive.

Jey Uso was really pissing me off.

He was just calling spots.

He was just talking to the person while throwing punches, just standing there talking.

Is, you know, it's a problem show-wide.

Cena's always been bad.

I haven't seen Gunther do it.

Is it that guys are sloppier now or lazier now or just don't protect it now?

Or is it that everything being in HD

and Mike so well,

even though it's more visual than audio, that we see it more than ever before.

A combination of all those things.

Because

you definitely, well, that's one thing.

When we got to world class, me and the Minai Express in Dallas in 85, the guys had told us they've got microphones on the ring posts.

And that was one good thing about working for the, working for, working with, I wish we were working for the Fantastic, working with the Fantastics every night for six months.

We may not have gotten matches with the Von Ericks where the big money was, but we'd have to talk to Bobby and Tommy.

They didn't call shit.

We knew it already.

We just did it every night, right?

But that was

an anomaly at the time where you didn't have microphones like they, and especially like they do now, all around the ring on the posts and blah, blah, blah.

Part of it is that, yes, you can hear more of it now, but still,

and the visual, the HD has a little bit to do with it.

But when they've, they've had great camera work for 25, 30 years, whatever,

and

guys have gotten,

I think, more in the habit of it just being accepted or something they have to do because they're having to go from one pre-planned thing to another.

30 years ago, you could have seen some guys calling spots, but they weren't

calling that many spots because

there's a difference between calling spots and reminding someone what they have to do next.

And shit, we don't have time to sit here in this chin lock and hide it.

We're going, we're rushing now.

So

30 years ago, the guys were actually calling

logical, simple shit for the most part

that they could hide and that there wasn't pressure on them to do this ridiculous and who's going to be in the right place.

And there's 15 people need to catch me or is the furniture here,

or whatever.

So that's causing guys, I think, to have to talk more.

You can hear it better.

You can see it better.

And guys are

honestly just looser about it and not

as concerned about it as we would have been back in the day when you'd have got fired for it.

Does that make any sense?

It does.

Well, and it made more sense than the rest of this show.

Now,

but anyway, so that was that match.

And then

they had another match.

The women's tag team title was up, Brian.

With Roxanne Perez and Rochelle Rochelle defending against Charlotte and Alexa Bliss.

One person on each team six feet tall.

The other person's four foot six.

People like Charlotte now because she's with Alexa.

This is what I'm telling you.

The reason why they're cheering Charlotte now

is because they like this tag team.

To me, it looks like Celine Delon or Celine Dion,

whatever her name is.

Celine Dion and Courtney Love is what I'm trying to say.

Is it the odd couple pairing that they like is what I'm trying to find out.

Because why do they

suddenly like Charlotte now?

Because she's teamed up with this

little

Chucky doll carrying pixie.

Is that a question?

Yes.

Yes, yes.

I think

why would that be?

I think Charlotte needed that, whether it's Alexa Bliss or someone else, Charlotte needed to be put with someone the fans are predisposed to cheering for for whatever reason to help her, and it has.

And

it's kind of, again, it's exactly what she needed.

And it's bringing out, you know, the best in her, I think.

Not having to deal with that.

Well, I watched a few minutes.

They were going 100 miles an hour, but they were doing it well.

It wasn't as sloppy or

indie-level as you would see the women's matches in the...

the other company.

And everybody looked like an athlete, except Alexa Bliss cannot weigh 100 pounds, can she?

Is she five feet tall?

You're asking a lot of questions.

I would assume.

Roxanne Perez looks like a Luger next to her.

She may be in the range of five feet, maybe a little bit bigger than that, and maybe a little bit bigger than 100, but that's the general range, I would assume.

All right.

Well, what happened here?

Because I don't know.

Charlotte and Alexa Bliss won the tag titles to a huge, huge pop from the fans.

And now Roxanne and Raquel, who I've enjoyed together, I think that's actually one of the best things on WWE TV right now.

Now, the Judgment Day does not have the women's tag titles.

Well, that's a shame.

And those were Liv's.

And those were Liv's tag titles.

Now, see, just

by the way, so that everybody doesn't think that, oh, he just irrationally praises Charlotte.

I didn't watch this because I don't care about the women's tag team title.

But I would like to see Charlotte back in singles competition at some point against

like one of two or three other girls on the roster.

Otherwise, there's a lot of girls, a lot of girls on this roster, as we've seen.

All right.

Are you ready, Brian?

For the

you've heard of the shot clock in basketball.

We've got the bump counter

on Carrion Cross.

Did you keep a bump counter?

You know, it was taking too long.

So I gave up my account somewhere in there after like two.

Well, I kept it.

And by the way, the entrance with Carrion Cross and Scarlett, it's shot well and it's very creative, but it seems like

kind of a waste of time on he's going to be where he is right now, isn't he?

If they wanted to elevate him, they've had a few chances, it seems like lately, and they decided to not do it.

It's one of those things where he's getting himself over with the fans and WWE is saying, not now.

Just not now.

Not now, not now.

Well, Sami Zayn and Karrion Cross, and of course, as we did last time, because it was brought to our attention that the rumor was, we don't know if this is fact, but a lot of people saying it,

but the rumor was that they didn't want to push Karrion Cross because he was afraid to take bumps.

As silly as that sounds, that is, it's unusual.

One would think that choosing that line of work, you know,

you'd already kind of be past that, but maybe with the stupid shit they do with furniture,

you may have something.

If he told them in the past, I'm not going to fall through a bunch of fucking tables, I'm a wrestler.

Well, then

in that case,

I would have respect for him.

But nevertheless, for the sake of it, we thought that last time we would check and see.

And he went through the entire match with Sammy, who is obviously very easy easy to work with, but he went through the whole match and took like three fucking legitimate bumps, right?

You remember?

And what did we say last week when we previewed this?

I said, okay, I'm going to say five.

Did I say five?

Maybe.

I think I said nine.

You may have said five.

I don't remember.

Because it was SummerSlam.

I figured he'd go to five, whatever.

But well, here we go.

Ding, ding, ding.

This is every time

that he left his feet, except like if he fucking, one time he slipped and kind of went to a knee.

I didn't count that, right?

We're talking every time he left his feet, whether it was to deliver an offensive or defensive move, we're going to list it.

And you're going to notice something, Brian, because I notice something now that's added new depth to this potential fucking rumor we've heard.

Number one, he got clotheslined over the top rope.

He landed on his feet and then collapsed to the floor.

But that's a keep track of that.

That's one bump he took, right?

Number two,

he's on the floor.

Sammy jumped up on the barrier and did the moonsault, and he caught Sammy.

And as Sammy landed on his feet to the side,

carrying cross count and went down easy to the floor.

Yeah, is that a bump?

Well, that's technically he caught the guy on the moonsault and went went down.

So that's a bump, but

it's very easy.

Very easy.

So there's two.

But then he gave Sami Zayn a Death Valley driver.

And he gave Sami Zayn a suplex.

And he hit the ground really hard on giving those, but we can't count them because they ain't bumps.

He didn't take a bump.

He gave a bump.

And then he took

a standard flat back bump from Sammy's axe handle.

That's number three.

And then he took a flat back bump off the axe handle again.

There's number four, right?

Then he gave Sammy a fisherman suplex.

If you know, every time he gives these things, boy, he

throws the guy and he lands with authority.

But when the guy's giving him something and he's just taking it, he just boop,

boop.

So then, after the fisherman suplex, he took a clothesline and took another flat back bump.

There's five.

So now

that's my estimate.

And then he came back and gave a Saito suplex and a bam, just fucking planted Sammy.

And then

Scarlett handed Cross a three-foot-long, quote-unquote, quote, lead pipe

that he was supposed to try to secrete underneath him until she could draw the referee.

Like when Tommy Young used to say, Brute Bernard was like just a crazy man.

It would go out and get a board from underneath the ring and stick it in the back of his tights.

And he'd be sticking six inches up over his head.

He'd get back in the ring and tell him, don't see it.

So he's got a three-foot lead pipe.

She draws the referee.

He swings it.

Sammy ducks and hits the blue thunderbomb.

And there's number six.

And he had to take that son of a bitch because that's Sammy's deal.

And then

as he's selling, Scarlett comes around and hands the pipe to Sammy.

And I'm saying, well, what a fucking bitch.

With girls like that,

just hand the guy that wants to beat you up a lead pipe.

It's part of the mind games that they're playing, which don't make any sense.

Because then,

if it was a normal human, Sammy would have just hit the fucking guy with the lead pipe and then shoved it up her ass and called it a day.

But instead, he's thinking about it.

And then he tossed it out and cross-school boyed him, one, two.

And then Sammy suplexed

cross into the turnbuckle where he kind of hit.

So that's seven.

So I'm already shot.

And then

he took the crumble bump on the

Haluva kick one, two, three.

So there, so you were closer.

You said nine, there was eight.

I said five.

But the only times that he ever actually hit the fucking ground hard besides the blue thunderbomb were when he was given something instead of taking it.

And it was eight last time too?

No, I think last time I think it was, well,

I'm trying to remember what number we came up with.

I think it was only five or six, but only two or three of them were actually legitimate bumps.

The other were Ox Bakers.

So the point is, it's fascinating.

Until I see this guy get backdropped over the top rope through a goddamn refrigerator case, I'm going to be convinced that that he's the best worker in the business because he's having these matches and nobody ever sees that he never takes a decent bump

so bravo to him no one ever sees him get a decent push either again it seemed like he was getting over the fans have been into him

he lost to sammy last time too didn't he yeah

Okay, well, I mean, hopefully Sammy said it's over.

Hopefully it really is because I kind of don't want to see Sammy for a while.

It will never be over.

And Carrion needs, if they're going to do something with him, now is the time, either now or never.

It's now or never.

Well, I think they need to carry on with Carrion.

Carry on my way, good son.

Yeah.

All right.

Well.

What was next on this summertime extravaganza?

Well, one of the many women's championships was up for grabs there

with jade cargill and tiffy tiffy storm

our our girl tiffy time tiffy stratton tiffy tiffy tiffy stratton yes tiffy well i thought she was lance's daughter i didn't know there was a storm because jade uh ah that's right

because she looks like from the x-men Well, I thought it was because she spent the night in a haunted house and it turned her hair gray.

It was a dark and stormy night.

Anyway, I'd like, this is your regular reminder.

The ring announcer's hair is ridiculous.

I would fine her if she showed up to television with that bride of Frankenstein dew on.

You know, I understand why she left and I understand people wanting to do their own creative things, especially if they are a creative person.

And obviously her husband isn't there anymore and that plays into it.

But I really do miss Samantha Irvin on these shows.

She really did.

She really did amp things up the right way without making.

I know people thought she made herself the show, but I kind of thought it was the opposite.

Well, at least she didn't have that hair and she was good at it.

But why don't Shaudi want to do the ring announcing no more?

She's working on it.

That's what we need to find out.

She's working on her music.

Well, let her sing them.

And in this corner, in this magic moment,

we have the contender.

See, it could be a whole new thing.

This magic moment.

I don't know how you threw that in the middle of this, the drifters.

Let's go.

Let's drift back to this review.

I could have been singing from under the boardwalk.

So Tiffy is back to being a heel, even though they liked her a while back.

And I know they're going to say, oh, Cornette, you don't pay attention to the women's matches.

They did this.

Or you're right.

I don't.

I don't care.

Was she a heel?

Well, she's the heel because Jade Cargill was the babyface.

I don't think Tiffy's a heel.

Well, she's Tiffy, Tiffany Stratton.

Well, whatever the fuck.

Nevertheless,

they

did fairly well.

This was Jade's best match, I guess, ever, probably, because she didn't.

Just, you know, go off the reservation or noticeably, you know, confused or whatever.

It wasn't the most complicated thing ever, but they did a number of things.

There was a pretty rotten-looking yay boo.

But

Tiffy

did the moonsault, and Jade raised the feet and hit her finish.

They got the foot on the ropes.

And then, of course, Jade had to try to do the finish off the top, and Tiffany had to help climb up there, obviously, because they've all got to do these top rope things that there's no conceivable way you could do without cooperation.

But at least she did the forward roll and foiled

Jade.

And then out of kind of sort of nowhere, it seemed like

hit the moonsault, boom, one, two, three.

But,

you know, I didn't know whether they would beat Jade or not, but I think they've come to realize that, you know, she still needs help and Tiffy may be not only more accomplished and more further along, but also just as popular.

And,

you know, but at least Jade didn't,

she didn't jade it up too bad.

Obviously, they had practiced it beforehand and walked through it many times of whatever, but it wasn't rotten.

Am I just, am I getting easier in my old age?

No, I thought it was pretty good.

And again, I expected the worst.

I don't know why.

Maybe that's unfair, but I thought it was pretty good.

Jade getting pinned cleanly says something.

It was a good competitive match.

Obviously, they may not see Jade the same way they did when they first got her from AEW,

but it doesn't mean she can't do other things, but she just is not going to be

Bianca or Rhea

or any of the top people, probably.

Now, how old is she?

Did we ever talk about that?

I mean, we may have a long time ago.

Hold on,

the flying fingers of Google.

33.

E

by the time, because

we won't count any of her time in AEW against her because she wasn't learning anything.

She's been there for what about a year, year and a half now.

By the time she really gets any kind of decent experience, she's going to be in her late 30s.

But she looks in wonderful shape.

I'm sure she takes care of herself and jogs regularly.

So

who knows?

Maybe she'll get it one of these days.

All right.

You know what that means?

SummerSlam continues.

Oh, all right.

And we are still in night one.

And now we got a good, come on, now it got you going.

I got a good attitude going.

Night one continues.

Well, let's talk about jelly roll.

You want to talk about jelly roll?

You know,

I have to, it's, it's an accomplishment.

We have to recognize the effort that the man made.

He lost 240 pounds to get to 299 pounds.

Did you hear this story?

I heard them talking about his weight loss, yes.

And I don't think he's been doing it.

He didn't start at the performance center and lose 240 pounds in, what, three months or whatever, obviously.

But

one of the big feature matches for SummerSlam

was Logan Paul and Drew McIntyre against Randy Orton and Jelly Roll.

Now, I will say in his defense, he

does work better than the other Jelly.

He is at least somewhat believable.

Jelly Roll's life, Jelly Roll's wife is named Bunny XO.

Did you see Bunny, Brian?

I'm not familiar with her.

Are you talking to me on mute?

I'm not familiar with her.

I don't know anything about Bunny.

You didn't see her when they got there.

I saw her there, and I was the first side.

That was the first time I ever saw or heard of her in my life.

Well, that's what I'm saying.

Did you see her there?

Because she's a podcast host.

You ought to, she's our competition.

You ought to know who the fuck she is.

Better watch out, Bunny.

I'm she's

if you took a picture of Jellyroll and you took a picture of bunny xo

would you put them together and say yeah i bet these two people would be married

not trying to criticize either one of them we'll get back to the match in one second and this isn't anything about jelly roll the person because i'm he actually seems like a very nice guy he actually seems like a perfectly fine good person He does.

You think somebody held him down and put all them tattoos on his face?

Well, I guess musically is my issue.

And some of these characters, I would just, my my biggest hope in life is that somewhere right now, there's just a group of kids that will grow up and it'll be that era's punk rock and they'll just rebel against all of this,

all of this,

all of this sound,

all of these people.

Just, it's completely out of step with, I don't know, with me.

And with others, I just has to be a punk rock for now.

There has to be kids saying, fuck all this country glam, wannabe rap bullshit.

Fuck it all.

And fuck these people.

I bet you from the looks of Bunny XO, she said, I'll fuck it all.

Man, they used to at least have good gimmick names.

John Doe.

Oh, okay.

That's good.

Bunny X, and now it's just letters put together.

You don't even know how you're supposed to pronounce it.

I see you're behind the times, Brian.

You're old.

Goodbye.

Yeah, you're right.

I am.

And goodbye to all these people.

That's what I say.

I need just some somewhere some kid has to come up with good songs and say, fuck you to the system and these people.

Write about these people.

Write about get off my TV, you people.

Just write that song.

Well, there you go.

I want to know why you don't look like Bunny XO.

Bunny XO.

She's a podcast host.

How come I don't get her?

I get you.

Do you think, how much money does Jelly have in his role?

I don't know.

You know, the money right now is in touring.

And I believe he's been touring for a while.

And I believe he's opened for some big so he's probably made some good money.

Well, he's he

to keep Bunny and her podcasts, he better.

Holy mackerel!

He made enough money to say, I'm going to walk away from this for a while and move to Florida to go to the training facility.

Walk away from all of what

Bunny and Shelly or the rolling bunny and the road and the band.

Looks like Bunny went with him.

If I was him, I wouldn't let Bunny out of my sight.

Should we talk about this match?

We better.

Oh, god damn it.

And again, Logan Paul, again,

he is a fucking,

he's incredible because he's got to the point now where he knows how to bounce off the guy already.

Because he did.

Here was the thing: Jelly's offense

for a celebrity wasn't that bad because the other guys were so good.

They could bounce off of him.

They could feed him, they could bump, they could be in the right place.

If you notice, Jelly was most of the time when he was doing things actively

standing in the same place, and other people were coming to him and

et cetera.

And that

wasn't horrible.

But every time

something that required experience or knowledge or just being good at

this.

Mainly when he was on defense, he couldn't sell.

He was trying, but he sold like a guy that can't work.

It's awkward.

It's stiff body movements.

There's no flow.

But,

you know, when a guy never has had a match in front of people and you're trying to get him to work with two of the top guys in the business in front of 50,000 people,

he wasn't the most, the most offensive thing I saw all weekend was they can't have a goddamn match in this company without destroying an entire home depot

but you know while

i would have much preferred him as a special manager

to counteract the you know the evil bobby the brain heenan that would have been lovely

he's wrestling but

it wasn't

It wasn't as bad as it could be, but it's still kind of preposterous, I guess.

I don't know.

Compared to some of the other stuff in the following night, this wasn't nearly the worst thing.

Of course, he did get blown up doing all that stuff, but

anyway, what happened?

I can't remember if somebody, oh, yeah, Logan Paul splashed jelly through the fucking desk at Ringside.

So that could be the viral moment.

And everybody's going, oh, look what Jelly Roll did.

Jellyroll fucking laid there.

Logan Paul, the goddamn, he flew 25 feet.

It's a frog skin.

that guy's insane yeah no he's incredible he's one of the great naturals we've ever seen but i don't know if i would give jelly roll any credit for except for being stupid enough to lay there underneath it because he thought oh wow this will get me over with the boys hey

that was my biggest problem with the match i liked the match i actually thought it was all working and the fans were into it and jelly roll i think did a really good job But the like 10 minutes of him selling that and then walking out of there where they convinced me he was about to keep over and die

for him to make a comeback.

I thought that was too much for someone who's not a wrestler.

That's when they leaped fully over the great white shark is what you're saying.

Because that's, again, he didn't do bad and Orton did a lot of stuff and blah, blah, blah.

The big splash boom, they're carrying him out or taking him out, helping him out.

And that's when the heels just did nothing forever, but laugh at him as they're so slowly taking him out that you know he's not not leaving.

And then he turned around and he wanted to come back and got up to the apron and made the, then I'm like, okay,

now we can't even hurt a goddamn formerly fat, now just chubby singer.

And he makes a comeback.

And the clothesline and the choke slam and the bubba slam and the people were buying it.

But it uh he

basically boom, boom, boom.

Finally, Orton, RKO Drew, and Logan Paul posted Orton and then splashed jelly one, two, three.

So they beat him, but not until after he

made a comeback like he was Dusty Rhodes in the Miami Beach Convention Center.

Yeah.

But it was an attraction.

He got pinned.

He seemed to have the right spirit about the whole thing.

I thought thought he wasn't bad in there.

And again,

the length of time selling for him to make the comeback, I mean, even though he got pinned, I thought that was too much.

But Logan Paul is so impressive.

Yeah.

He's just so impressive.

And I enjoyed that.

I actually ended up really enjoying this match.

Well.

Then maybe that made up for some of it.

You didn't like it at all just because of the celebrity or?

No, no, no, no.

That's what I'm saying: is

I didn't want to like it.

He wasn't as bad as I was afraid he might be.

It did get over with the people.

They did the right shit up until the time that he was murdered and still had to come back and get another comeback.

But,

you know,

I just don't know if it was on a more local level.

And I can see,

you know, an old-fashioned heel team like Wayne Ferris and Larry Latham taking bumps for the, you know, fat local singer or whatever.

But

it's come to this.

Yeah, but he was the smallest person in the ring.

That shocked me, too.

Drew towers over him.

Orton towers over him.

Logan may have been the same height, if not a little bit taller than him.

He was the smallest guy in there.

Well, but now Wait, you're measuring wrong.

Instead of from the ground up, measure from the belt buckle around.

See, there it it is.

There it is.

Yeah, I mean, I guess, you know, in some occasions they've won with Jelly Roll, with Bad Bunny.

Whatever you want to say, they took their celebrity.

They came in with the right attitude.

They took it.

They took it, it seemed like more seriously than some of the people who work there who are just ready to break K-Fabe left and right.

And then there's Travis Scott, who came there with the attitude.

smacked the champion in the fucking face and then never came back again.

I bet one of these days Cody's just going to hunt him down on the street somewhere to get that fucking receipt because he thought he was going to get it in a ring.

I bet you some wrestler will one day.

Well, anyway, are you ready for the main event, Brian, of night one for the World Championship?

One of them at least.

CM Punk and Gunther.

I will say that the stadium looks better after dark.

I've got to mention that.

And we were two and a half hours in.

It wasn't that long of a show.

The people were up for it.

The crowd had been somewhat mild in a lot of spots, except for the holy shit moments, and they loved a jelly roll.

But this, again,

it started.

I was really liking things, and then sometimes they take a turn.

But it was the first wrestling match of the night, actually, where they started locking up and shit and wrestling, and Punk was working an arm.

And

I see what they were going for because of what was going to happen at the end.

But they had to, they were telling the story.

That Punk just got the shit kicked out of him through this whole thing.

He would still keep fighting, but he would get turned back.

And finally, after a long and vicious war,

he would win by the skin of his teeth and have absolutely nothing left.

But I still think they could have told this story about 10 or 12 minutes shorter, don't you?

When it came down to it.

It took a while.

And I mean, at one point, Punk was down on the ground for such a long time talking to the referee.

I I was like, did something go wrong?

But then everything continued as normal, but it took a while.

It seemed like they were drawing it out.

You know, again, love Gunther.

And

it's his style that he's the dominant physical guy and that the other guy fights from underneath, the baby face.

And Punk did that fight.

He sells.

You can feel.

the pain because of the face that he makes and the body language.

And Gunther's chops are vicious, but Punk would fight back and Gunther would bully him and trash talk him.

And everything that they did

made sense.

Everybody

reacted to it in the proper ways.

And both guys did their trademark stuff.

It's just it went so long.

Possibly because they felt they had to because of the

afterbirth they were doing.

But otherwise,

the one spot Gunther climbed up on the ringside desk to gloat and punk, jerked his feet out from under him, and bam, he went down and rolled under the desk and came back out bleeding.

Poor Gunther, he didn't want to be seen, but that must mean he's not

confident in his sleight of hand.

So there is possibly a

small notch knocked out of his armor.

If I could only think of another way to say that they sold it as the blood coming from his nose, that it was his nose.

And he was selling it good, too, because covering his nose and trying to, you know, so that part

looked in.

That was a pretty

nice little touch there.

But

nevertheless, they got into it from there with the punk made the comeback, the elbow off the top.

Gunther got the sleeper.

Punk got under and hit a GTS.

And then then fucking Gunther staggered, but he didn't go down.

So Punk got under him and hit another one.

Boom.

One, two, three, and won the belt and got a huge pop.

That worked just fine.

And he's the new champion.

He's crying.

You can see the tears.

He's handed the belt.

He hugs the belt.

The people are chanting, CM Punk.

Gunther is rolled out to attend to his bloodiness.

And suddenly, Burton down,

they did it anyway.

And Seth comes out on crutches and a knee brace, but of course, that he drops the crutches, takes the brace off.

And I got a bunch of people on Twitter say, Say, Brian was right, they did it.

And I apologize for being wrong.

I had no idea that that many

experienced, bright, creative people, including Heyman,

would

sacrifice a network TV special to do really bad, rotten, awkward television on purpose for the sake of

the particular cash-in that they just did here.

I'm not opposed to the cash-in.

It was perfect time because punk was beat to shit and a blah, blah, blah.

But to go to all that

trouble of stinking the joint out to make people believe it was real,

to show them that it wasn't,

they're having a lot of people.

What about working the boy?

What about working the.

Well, they're working it.

Well, most, like I said at the time, I can understand working the boys these days because if you didn't.

Yeah, I'm surprised everybody's personal phone number is not out on Twitter.

These bunch of loose-lipped bastards.

But for something as insignificant as that,

and then when people knew about it anyway, or thought they knew about it, or everybody was talking about it.

But

I was wrong in that I didn't believe that they would purposely do rotten television on a network special

just to do this.

If they'd have done it in

some type of

way where it didn't stink the show up,

then I would be just happy as a clan.

Right before the Goldberg retirement match.

Right before the Goldberg retirement match, which then turned around and the end of that stunk the show up where they didn't even fucking get the speech.

But nevertheless.

And Jim, one more thing about Rollins coming out there.

Again, isn't part of the problem he's doing this all

babyface style.

He comes out there and dramatically turns around, drops the crutches, removes the knee brace, all for pops.

Yeah.

While they sing his music,

isn't that part of the problem?

How could you be a heel if everything you do is a babyface or babyface style?

Well, that's, I mean, I don't think they care anymore because they're just

doing holy shit, holy shit, over and over.

What's a guy going through furniture?

Or

he's not injured after all.

Maybe he isn't.

We don't.

There was no sneakiness and underhandedness

in what they did here.

And

it's hard to get heat

on a guy.

I'm number one when everybody likes to sing his song, but when

they've told people, oh, he's injured.

He's going to be out for months.

Well, they don't want him to be hurting out for months.

So when he comes back, he is there cheering.

Oh, he's back.

He's not hurt after all.

Yay.

Now he'll go in and beat up CM Punk, beat him over the head with a briefcase seven times, give him the curb stomp one, two, three.

Now they've seen a happening.

I don't know if it got that much heat.

But you see, what I'm saying is when

they've told, you know, the only other thing that could have said, well, unfortunately, he's dead.

You'll never see him again

because he's died.

And then the next show he's about, oh, thank God he's not dead.

And now we get more punk Rollins.

Yes.

Is that what you want?

Is that what you want?

That's the thing is, I was kind of hoping down deep in my little heart of hearts that it would be Paul handing the briefcase to Braun Breaker.

And when Seth did come back after a number of months,

as a babyface to get his property back from his evil, fucking backstabbing former manager you could get seth rollins as a babyface and braun breaker for the world title

that kind of i kind of liked and they set something up too i mean if you think about it gunther lost the title

and then immediately punk is screwed they also set up dissension between gunther and the heyman group with braun breaker on raw Well, and here's another problem because when Heyman's other guys came in to celebrate, Braun had his knee wrapped up and was limping somewhat.

So hopefully they didn't.

Yeah, there was footage that was going around of him limping backstage after his match.

I get a lot of stunts.

I didn't see anything in the ring that should have injured him.

So

is it all these goddamn

stunts?

At this point, if anyone in the Heyman group cries knee injury, are you going to believe them?

Well, and there's the problem also.

Yeah, and again, John Pollack had the story.

He was told exactly what was going to happen with Rollins going down with a knee injury.

And that's exactly what played out.

So we'll see where they go.

Seth Rollins, the new

either world champion or WWE.

What is he?

Is he the world champion?

World champion.

World champion.

And of course, Jim, after...

The first full night, full day of SummerSlam non-stop wrestling action in the sun,

you may want a good night's sleep.

You may be amped up and you may say, you know, I need a little bit of help to get a great night's sleep tonight.

And we know someone who could help all the listeners.

Well, it's not someone, it's something,

Brian.

Get the grammatical verbiage correct.

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Well, if you're dreaming about sheep, I'm telling you, there may be some type of perverted situation in your childhood, but folks.

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I don't know about any of that.

And again, this is not advisable if you live in a tenement or something, but Jim, beam.

Well, if you live in a tenement, you need to, you even more help getting to sleep to to forget about the hovel you live in once again let's talk

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Uh-oh, you know what that means.

What is it?

The SummerSlam train rolls on.

We go to night two, East Rutherford, New Jersey, SummerSlam 2025.

Night two.

Well, the first match on that card, after Triple H came out and asked everyone, are you ready?

He does have a growl to him, doesn't he?

Yes, I am.

That's also now, I'm getting sick of that phrase, because then they had a promo for like, what was the promo for?

Was it SummerSlam next year in Minneapolis?

And then it ends with, I got one question.

Are you ready?

Yeah, I saw you do that earlier, man.

Yeah.

You can't just do that in every single thing you do.

Everybody can't be ready.

Some people are always going to be caught unaware.

Yeah, give them the price.

You want to find out if people are ready?

Give them the prices.

Are you ready?

Rigside, $5,000.

Are you ready?

Or do you need a credit app?

All right.

So the opening contest on night two: a triple threat match

for one of the women's titles, the other one that they didn't have a match for the night before

with Rhea Ripley versus Naomi versus EO Sky.

And

again,

I know a lot of people.

Oh, EO, EO, EO.

Her name is EO and they love her on the mat.

But I don't know why, because I don't know where she's at.

She's the genius of the sky, not the mat.

Yeah, well, you know what?

Here's the thing.

If she's the genius of the sky, I'm not even arguing with that.

But do you want to see and will you buy a ticket to see Olga Corbett beat the shit out of Nadia Komenichi?

How much are tickets?

Where is this?

Well, down at the rec center, and they're 15 bucks.

First come, first serve.

Maybe, maybe I'll see that.

All right.

I would have rather seen Naomi versus Ria, but I figured EO was there so they can beat somebody, right?

That's what I was thinking.

What happens when the genius of the sky runs into the genius of the sea?

What happens when the genius of the sky's face runs into the mat and she's on the ground?

And I wonder if she ain't that smart down there, is she?

All right, we get it.

You hide your sky.

How was the match, Jim?

Well,

again,

I agree EO can do the moves, but why would anybody want to see her in a fight?

With Naomi and Rhea, they have the look.

I'm wanting to see more.

I assume we'll get that match because of the finish they did.

But the three-way stuff, it's men's three-way, women's three-way.

You can't critique it, you can't explain it, you can't tell whether anybody's work is good or not because there it's no DQ as will become a pattern here.

They're doing the choreography.

One girl grabs the other girl's head, the other girl kicks the one girl, so the one girl goes down and gives the other girl a DDT.

And it's just

Rhea can work like a guy.

So that's why I like to see her in singles matches without all the furniture.

And Naomi as a heel

is getting over with me.

So

they ain't bad together.

When it's EO and Rhea, it looks like Joan Jett beating up a sixth-grade cheerleader.

And she makes more faces and points more than Kenny Olivier.

Have you noticed that?

Why?

What is it?

The Japanese influence.

They make odd faces faces and point at everything.

I don't know what influences her.

I didn't even notice the odd faces, but I'll pay attention next time.

The

odd faces.

She may also be the genius of the sky, but what about the phony-looking uppercut punch, which is exaggerated, doesn't make contact, and then held for the people's

vision afterwards with her hand straight up in there.

Why won't she stop screaming?

Maybe a Cardi B versus EO Sky.

She uses the power of sound.

Put the decibel meter on him.

Anyway, EO powerbombed Rhea onto Naomi on the floor.

And seconds later, Rhea was up and got Eo in a riptide off the top rope.

and covered her, but Naomi came from behind and schoolboyed Rhea and pinned her one, two, three.

So, okay, it keeps it between Ria and Naomi.

Can we please lose the sky now?

I'm asking you, will you not book EO Sky in this anymore?

I am not the booker.

I said this a while ago: like, Rhea has to stop losing.

We don't see her win anymore.

Yeah.

Once again, we see her on the mat like ready to cry or whatever the hell was happening there at the end.

I do want to see some one-on-one matches.

This is a Triple H thing at this point.

Non-stop three-way matches.

It's just

again, and

you can't really tell how anybody's doing because it's just, you know, and then they have the crutch being able, oh, you can do anything in front of the referee because it's no DQ and it's just contrived shit and blah, blah, blah.

And it's constant and it's everybody, everywhere.

Three-way, four-way, six-way, whatever the case.

But

again, Rhea, Rhea needs to win something

fairly important

fairly soon because they just think that she's so over that they can just get everybody else over by giving them the rub.

And sooner or later, that backfires.

And she's more valuable than almost the rest of the women's division put together.

Take your other top two or three, and

who gives a shit, right?

In the overall scheme of things.

So

they need to do something.

But you know something, Brian.

At least now we didn't have to watch a three-way on second.

We had to watch a six-way with 12 guys.

Did you watch this thing?

Oh, yeah.

I thought it was the highlight of night two.

Tables, ladders, chairs, and horseshit with all six of the mid-card teams that fight for the tag team title with no disqualification.

And I saw the highlights.

How many tables did they break?

Was there any way to estimate?

Or do you remember

it happened over and over?

More than Carrion Cross's bumps, less than

a Fortnite.

I don't know.

So they climbed a bunch of ladders.

They fell through a bunch of tables.

Everybody almost broke their fucking neck.

And

what was the best bump of the whole match, Brian?

Ooh, you know, there were a couple of really, really good ones.

The Angelo Dawkins one

was good.

The one you probably would have enjoyed the most was Candice LeRae

going from on top of like the biggest ladder in the ring to the floor through a ladder, arm first.

That was probably the one that people will be talking about, maybe.

Yeah, did she get up and walk away?

I have to say, this match was more entertaining than I thought it would be.

I got really into it.

Andrade and Ray Ray Phoenix,

I think it looked like they could win at one point.

Motor City Machine Guns have really annoying music when they come out, so I'm glad they don't win.

Gargano and Chiampa and Candice LeRay

did their damnedest to cripple each other.

I think they're okay.

The Bray Wyatt group, or not, the, what are they?

The Wyatt Six of Dexter Loomis and Joe Gacy.

They won.

And it was a lot of fun.

They introduced the Hardys and the Dudleys before the match.

Two of the three tag teams in the match that put TLC matches on

the wrestling radar.

So we know who to blame then for this horseshit.

One team couldn't be there.

They'll be on Diamond.

Who couldn't be there?

What would be more important in their schedule?

Edge and Christian?

I'm not sure, but apparently the Dudleys and the Hardys will be wrestling in TNA,

having a reunion match or an anniversary match or a last match, something.

Yeah.

Well, this thing won about 30 minutes.

Who won?

You remembered a couple of the bumps?

You remember who won?

I said that.

The Wyatt 6.

Oh, did they win?

I didn't pay attention.

Like the match.

You know what?

I like the street profits more and more.

And the more I like them, the more they lose and never win.

But there's something that could still be done with them.

The rest of the tag teams are there to have big bumps and do big spots because those tag team matches kill the crowds when we watch SmackDown.

You know, they never get big reactions, the DIY and Motor City Machine Guns, no matter how talented anyone in the match is.

Well, I knew I wasn't going to sit down and try to watch this and in any way keep track of it because it would give me such a bad taste in my mouth after they finished taking every bump known to man and breaking every piece of furniture that I wouldn't want to see any of the rest of this show.

And there was still the majority of the show left.

But

at an hour and 15 minutes into the show, we got to match number three.

Jesus age Christ.

They not only won't quit doing shit, but then it takes forever after one match for the next one to come up.

And then

we have gone from

the opening match, which was, wait a minute, what did we just talk about?

I just fucking forgot.

Oh, the opening match is a three-way with the girls.

That's right.

Then they have 12 guys on six teams do over a half an hour full of stuntman spots with these fucking furniture.

And then we come to another girls match for another women's title

or something

that

is no DQ and a garbage match, too.

And

it starts an hour and 15 minutes into the show.

We've only seen two matches.

Then we see this.

And I'm thinking, my God, there's a street fight in the main event.

Why are they doing this?

Who wants to see Becky Lynch and Lyric

in a match with chairs and kendo sticks and tables and fucking zip ties?

What

they shouldn't even have a performance center.

Just send them to Hollywood to fall off the fucking balcony of the fucking saloon with the stuntmen.

There are no regular matches.

Have I made this point clear?

You have.

So at one point, and I didn't watch this, but I went back on some of it because after I told Stace, she said, oh, God, did you see Becky Lynch?

I said, no, you got to go back.

So I went back.

At one point,

Becky Lynch had zip-tied

Lyric's hands together

and they were working spots.

She had her hands zip-tied together for a couple minutes and then she gave Becky a suplex and her hands came untied.

Obviously, clearly, everybody in the building saw it.

The announcers called it, oh, look, the zip ties broke.

And then

she stuck her hands back together and worked for another four minutes with her hands and the zip ties on purpose.

And the answer had to say, oh, I'm sorry.

I thought I thought I saw that.

I was wrong.

And she did four more minutes with the zip ties until she goes under the goddamn ring.

gets her hands loose and does a fire extinguisher spot

and then started wailing on Becky with the kendo stick again.

And this went way past 20 minutes.

And then Bailey comes out

and beats the just teetotal shit out of Becky right in front of the referee.

Nobody do anything about it.

No DQ.

Then the lyric put Becky through a fucking table with a goddamn giant.

leg drop, ass drop, whatever part of her anatomy she dropped.

And then seconds later they were back in the ring becky was fine and hit her finish one two three

did you see the zip tie gimmick oh yeah i thought that was going to be the big thing you would talk about obviously even before the uh the hands

i thought wow she's a magician you know slight a hand trick but uh yeah i saw that and

You know, the fans get into when big things happen.

They'll pop for a fire extinguisher.

That's been proven for a long time.

Well, yeah, that's one of my favorite spots until the girls started doing it.

God damn, how can you do street fight spots that people take seriously when girls do them?

But I've been thinking about a lot of the things you've been saying, and they showed like different people showing up at the building, walking in,

and they show Lyra Valkyria,

and like the place barely popped.

Again, you're just watching videos of people enter, but other people got like reaction.

And she just looks like an average person.

And this whole feud has been done because Becky wanted to work with her.

Now they've set up something naturally with Bayley because she can't challenge Becky again for this title.

So she has to be mad at somebody.

But I don't know.

This, you know, there's a lot in the WWE Women's Division I've grown to really like.

The Raquel and Roxanne thing, the Liv Morgan stuff, Rhea, obviously.

I've always been a big Bianca fan.

Naomi is a heel.

And there's other stuff I just don't like.

And all this Becky Lynch comeback stuff with Lyra Valkyrie has not been for me.

It's again, we've heard that they're friends, they're from somewhere across the pond together, wherever the I don't care.

Point is

people have lots of friends that shouldn't be on the program,

and you're right.

If this girl does indies, that's fine, but she

looks out of place on the main roster with all of these,

you know, various characters on the women's roster, and there she is just wearing these fucking hokey ass wings.

But I understand using Becky Lynch because she's been a big name and has

drawn money there.

People know who she is to use her to get someone else over.

But not just because she picks somebody because it's her friend.

It has to be somebody that actually has a chance to be over.

It's just wasting time, wasting Becky.

And speaking of time, an hour and 50 minutes into this show, that is a Sunday night show.

We've had three matches.

All of them were no DQ.

Two of them were girls matches.

And one of them was a 16-12-man garbage match with the preliminary guys.

How is this fucking SummerSlam?

Plus, lots of commercials.

There's lots of great movies coming to a theater near you.

At some point in the future, and you can find out all about them on SummerSlam.

Yes.

Brought to you by Drumstick.

In between the travelogues and the chicken commercials.

Drumstick.

Just don't call us ice cream.

Legally, you're not allowed to call us ice cream.

When you said drumstick, I was thinking about Wingstop because

there's all kinds of chicken being eaten up.

I got hungry.

They have Papa John's too all over this thing.

Just non-stop commercials.

And again, we all want to make money.

We all have commercials in our content, but it's a step beyond the WWE right now.

Every table has Slim Jim on it.

Oh, that's yeah, every time that they pulled out another one of those Slim Jim tables in the main event, I'm like, how fucking hokey is this gotten?

Just, it's sad.

Whatever, we'll get there in a minute.

Let's

go to the cage match for the United States title.

This would be match number four, all of them.

With no disqualification ruling.

And now we got a cage, Jacob, Fatu, and Solo.

I think this brought it out.

What we were talking about, Jacob Fatu is amazing.

He's got charisma.

The people like him.

But the drawbacks of the matches with Solo, it's like

Solo is too similar style, but not as good.

He is,

because they have similar styles in there in the family, they're related,

they also have kind of the same drawbacks.

And Solo's drawbacks, kind of, to me, point out Jacob's drawbacks and some of his work.

They don't have a good match.

Solo is not over to the level that he was in

the group originally when the group was still somewhat the same group instead of now the

Tongan embassy has taken over.

And it was, they did the escape the cage rules.

Under 10 minutes, it was already dragging.

It was not a good cage match.

Out of Brian, am I being too critical?

I love Jacob Fatu.

No, I don't think it was very good.

Again, the fans weren't super into it.

In terms of the solo reaction, remember a couple of years ago, all he had to do was put his thumb in the air and people would scream.

They don't react to the thumb at all anymore.

Yeah.

They give the thumb the finger.

And then the faction, you know, I've always liked Jeff Cobb, but the faction, you know, Otonga Loa, Jeff, JC Mateo, and Hickel, or I'm saying everyone's other name, or Tyla Tonga,

it just seems like a step below, or it just doesn't seem like you should care.

I don't know.

Great value, Timu.

What are the guys who are going to be able to do that?

And then Jimmy Uso get involved in this too.

I mean, it's like all of these guys are all involved in stuff together.

It would probably help everyone to work with other people.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that's, and unfortunately, I don't see that happening by this finish because

Jacob did a couple of moonsaults, and then all the Samoan stooges or the Tongan stooges came to the ring, and Jimmy came down to fight the Tongas, but taller Tonga

threw Jimmy over the desk and

solo hit the spike, got a two count,

climbed up to the top.

I guess like he was going to leave when he spiked Jacob,

got a two count, but Jacob is still selling.

So instead of just walking over to the door, he said, I'll climb over the top,

which is another thing I've always hated about the WWF cage matches.

It's just nonsensical.

But nevertheless,

Jacob went after him.

Solo dropped down, and Tongaloa

climbed up and came over the top of the cage.

And he's in the ring while taller

got handcuffs and cuffed Jacob to the top of the cage.

And then I'm thinking, and the referee seeing this other guy in the ring has no DQ.

But then, also, by the way, female referee in a cage match with two 300-pound Samoans.

How dangerous can it be?

That destroys the visual.

I'm sorry.

Does anybody even see that anymore?

How ridiculous that looks?

I think think they've trained people not to think about it.

Can you see a female referee to a goddamn cage match in Greensboro in 1979 between Ric Flair and Black Jack Mulligan?

Who's the female?

Anybody.

I can see like Stella May French doing it.

Ah, well, Stella Maya.

And so can you.

And so can you, because I can tell by Stella's reaction.

Stella May wasn't available.

She was working at the dry cleaners in irving

i told you that right you did yeah she was my dry cleaner anyway

so solo crawled to the door and jc whatever opened it but jacob fatu broke the cuffs which they missed the shot of

replayed it later jacob caught him And here came old taller and gave the cage door a big boot, which flew into Jacob's

He had momentarily, earlier in the match, done a deal where Solo ran him headfirst into the cage, and he no-sold it because of his hard head.

And the door, the frame didn't hit him like they did in the famous,

you know, Michael Hayes slams the door on Carrie von Eric's head in Reunion Arena Christmas night.

The wire hit him and he took a big bump

and Solo dropped to the floor.

Not good.

Too gimmicked, gimmicked up for no reason.

And they need to get Jacob away from Solo, but now Jacob's got to beat him first.

So that was that.

Yes, it was.

And we're moving on.

For that, I'm telling you.

For that, the cage hung up above the ring for two nights of SummerSlam.

Yes, for 10 minutes of blah.

But if that taller Tonga had a big old fucking head with a goddamn giant Cro-Magnon brow,

that finish would have got over.

But as it was, he looked like a goddamn member of a boy band's head stuck on a goddamn giant's body.

It's little teeny.

It needs to be big and bucket-sized.

Would a mask help?

I mean, you can't do it now.

You can't put, you know.

No, then he'd look like Jerry Stubbs when he was was Mr.

Olympia.

They used to call him pea head because he was a big, jacked-up bodybuilder with his huge arms and his huge chest.

And when he put a mask on, he was bald anyway.

It made his head look like it's a little goddamn pee sitting on top of these boulder shoulders.

Old taller Tonga would look like even more like a pea head because it would mash his hair down if he wore a mask.

Should he do anything?

Unless it was a padded mask.

What if he changed his hair into like a fro so that it stood up as opposed to Jerry curled down?

No, because it's not the size of the hair.

It's the size of the head.

Look, Andre added a couple of inches with his afro style, but it was still that giant, enormous brow and fucking jug head.

If he had a afro, then he'd

he'd just look like a guy with an afro on a peanut.

I'm telling you, they need to do something to shoot him up with some kind of hormones.

Make his head grow.

Block his.

Do you block the pituitary or you open the valve up?

Open the pituitary valve up.

His head will be big enough in a year and a half.

He can make some money.

All right.

I don't know about any of that, but on we go with SummerSlam.

Yes.

The Intercontinental.

The Intercontinental Title, lady.

Lady.

The Intercontinental title was on the line next with A.J.

Styles and Dominic Mysterio.

This is my favorite thing all night.

It's the only regular one-on-one match with regular rules that didn't involve furniture.

They went 100 miles an hour for a lot of it, but the work was great.

The action, Dominic has heat.

I'm not sure if it was worth waiting two hours and 15 minutes into this show for.

I think it's more like a TV main event.

But it's at the same time, it was both the best match of the night to that point and the least important.

So

Dominic pulled the pad off.

The referee turned his back to put it on.

Dominic got a chair, tossed it to AJ, and took a bump, the old Eddie deal.

So AJ put it around his own neck and fell down.

And the referee turned around.

He said, I just keep wrestling.

And

AJ got to calf crusher and pulled Dominic's boot off and swung.

And Dominic ducked and the referee ducked too.

And Dominic hit AJ with his own or with his boot that he had had taken off and splashed him one, two, three.

It wasn't offensive.

It was a show of athleticism.

The personalities were over.

And the only fucking regular match on the show, and it meant absolutely nothing.

Your thoughts?

Yeah, it was good.

I'm a big fan of Dominic.

I thought him and AJ worked well together.

They had a good promo back and forth, or at least AJ had an interesting promo on the post-show.

So maybe this isn't over, but a good match.

But that's the Dominic's the most improved wrestler of the last decade from

where we saw him to where he is to where he could possibly go in the future.

He's still young.

But that's that's the problem: they have one

legitimate wrestling match on the show, and it's given the least amount of promotion, made the least important, and given the least amount of time.

I could have watched them for another five minutes or so if I had to, rather than seeing some more of these fucking dip shits falling through tables.

But speaking of dip shits, Stephanie McMahon was out next,

introduced as as a WWE icon.

The attendance for night two was 60,561, which bring brang,

which brang Brian, the two-night total, to 113,722 people.

But how many of them do you think just came one night?

Now, they're different numbers, so people,

some people had to just be there for night two.

But

do you think that would be the minority?

Most people had to go both nights, didn't they?

If they're going to make the trip and the effort?

If they made the trip or the effort, if they're just local, they may not have to do that.

Who knows?

So that means there was about 7,000 local people that just came for night two.

Maybe, who knows?

What do you think of them pounding Stephanie McMahon over this show every fucking week?

Interesting choice of words.

what do you think about a pounding stephanie just non-stop stephanie mcmahon all over the she's in the crowd she's backstage she's standing there wwe icon

her soft interview show like just non-stop stephanie mcmahon what do you think well they have to because

because she and and triple paul are going to be the new vince and linda in a few years

and then she'll be out there in a wheelchair with her kids fucking

trying to put her in the home or whatever happened.

Vince and Linda own the company.

Triple H and Stephanie don't.

Well, it ain't stopping anybody, apparently.

I would have defended more voraciously until just here the last couple of months, Triple H as the chief content officer and head of creative or whatever he really is behind the scenes.

Although that's starting to wear off on me.

But I understand that his position is justified there.

I don't really know why anybody gives a shit what Stephanie does or why they're

foisting her off on us, except that

she's

telling Triple H, you, I want to be on TV again at this point.

Yeah, she's like Connecticut Michelle McCool.

Well, stay off the Merritt Parkway, kid.

Anyway,

we have come to our main event of the evening.

That beloved, heroic figure that has been kept down by evil manipulations in the past is now going to triumph against the odds.

Of course, we're talking about John Cena, who for the past eight months has been telling the people go piss up a rope how horrible they are, how pathetic their lives are.

But he said he was sorry.

Cody came out and got the normal pop,

but when Cena came out, they went bat shit.

What did you think of the Dusty audio?

Well, I must have missed that part.

They played

another bad side effect of not having proper fast-forward capabilities on this goddamn peacock because I couldn't watch it on real television on pay-per-view.

What did they do with Dusty?

Well, again, you could have watched it live on Peacock and seen it.

No, I couldn't have because then I would have seen every single one of the commercials that I was able to fast forward through.

That's when you get up.

I couldn't see what I was fast forward.

That's when I go outside and smoke a joint.

That's when I go to the bathroom.

That's when I go grab something from the kitchen.

God damn, I could have a goddamn kidney infection.

I wouldn't have to piss that much.

You have to look at them as helpful breaks.

They are there to help you, the viewer, do other things.

You're 20 years younger than I am.

I'm running out of fucking time.

I'm being more goddamn judicious with everything these days.

Well, they had audio.

Can I say 15 minutes here and there?

Well, before Cody's music played, they had audio of Dusty, seemingly of Dusty.

And I was told that his daughter denied that it's AI.

So that means at some point Dusty.

recorded some sort of audio that sounded like he was talking to Cody about like, go get him.

I believe in you.

I love you.

You know, go get him.

So they used that audio and then they went to cody coming out there i think they needed to do everything they could to get everyone to cheer him and it still didn't work okay well see that's why i missed it then because i was trying to bridge the 15 minutes between the previous match and the start of this one and i picked it up with cody coming to the ring because i had no frame of reference i just landed there

But nevertheless, the point was

he got a nice pop and et cetera, but when Cena's music played, they went batshit.

And then he came out and did the old John Cena entrance, fired up.

And we're at fired up and ready to go.

And he asked the cameraman, you got one more run left in you, whatever your name is, Chauncey.

I don't know what the fuck.

And the people cheered when he audibly, when he ran to the ring instead of doing the slow walk he's been doing.

And they were standing up.

And on the introduction,

Cody got cheers, but he also got booze.

And Cena got

big cheers and Cena chance.

I don't

couldn't they have

just waited two more days and then have Cena come out on Raw and say the same thing, but when he's talking about

his newest nemesis, nemesi, Brock Lester, instead of did he had to switch babyface before Cody

so that the people would boo Cody trying to finish part two of his story?

Well,

that's an interesting question.

Now, let me ask you that.

If Cody, if the promo from SmackDown the night before hadn't happened and they go into this match with Cena

being defined as a heel, even though there'll be a segment of the audience that'll cheer him no matter what, it's John Cena, right?

Versus Cody,

same finish.

And then after the match, there's a moment.

I don't know how it plays out.

Can't really do a promo.

Or I get you could, but it would seem weird.

You'd, you'd, he, he would do it the next night when he limped in with his face bandaged on a fucking crutch on Raw, and then he would apologize to everybody.

But I guess my point is: did he have to do it on SmackDown for the Brock return to work?

If he had done it after the match,

no,

because again, it's moments that they're booking for anyway.

So if if

Cody had won the belt and vanquished the guy that kicked him in the balls and then left, the people would have still been saying, thank you, Cena, because it's his last time.

And maybe then

you could see on John Cena's expressive face that he started to have the Grinch moment where his heart grew three sizes that day.

And just as he's looking up through the

sweat and the tears and showing the effect of this match but he hears the people that they still after all he's said and done

they still feel for him and he starts to brighten up and then fucking brock lester's music hits and then brock comes down and bites his fucking jugular vein

And then he comes out and he says, after all I've done on Raw, after all I've done and all I've fucking said,

and you still wanted to thank me.

And then this fucking guy comes out.

Well, fuck him.

And there you go.

I don't know.

I don't know what the fuck's going on here.

Why Cody just had to get shit on by everybody for the past six months?

But anyway, they had

this again.

I was loving it till I didn't.

Because, okay, this is a street fight.

Even with the fucking strange thing of Cena's turned baby or whatever it's a street fight between two of the top guys in the company previous generation present generation

they're smart they can work and they've got the ability to use smoke and mirrors maybe to keep up

or keep away from maybe some of john's weaknesses as he's 50 years old so i got that

I don't know why it has to be a street fight after Cena turned babyface, but nevertheless,

they start fighting.

And despite that, they switched John so there was no reason to want to see him bleed or have a street fight.

Again, I wouldn't have had a problem with this if they hadn't gimmicked up everything else on the card with tables and chairs and kendo sticks, even the girls.

Bron Solomon tweeted, I wish I had it in front of me, I'd read it verbatim, but basically commenting on the insanity

of knowing that your main event at a pay-per-view of this magnitude is a street fight and allowing the undercard that went on

is just ridiculous.

But

the more that it went on,

they were doing, they were having a good match, even though Cody was getting heat on Cena without cheating.

Cena was fighting from underneath.

Cody was getting two counts.

Cody worked his ass off.

So they were doing good.

They have the big yay boo.

Cena got the yays.

And then they started hitting some big moves and getting some two counts.

And I'm like, well, this is

cooking pretty good.

Of course, John pulled out the slim gym table, and Cody avoided it and set it in a corner.

And then they immediately went to the floor and they fought out into the stadium, all over the stadium, forever.

And then it became, that's the point where I was loving it until I stopped loving it.

Then it turned into a professionally produced AEW match with real stars where they're just out in the building walk fighting.

And that's

normally I would fast forward to them to where they got back in the ring.

And it wouldn't really ruin it for me, but I have no on-screen fast forward on the cock.

So I had to fucking

sit through this.

And by the time they got back to the ring, it had taken me out of it.

And especially when

they came up on the elevator through the stage with Cena with Cody over his fucking shoulders.

So

now I just wanted it to be over.

And by the way, to be honest, since it went 40 minutes bell to bell, it was about time for it to be over.

But

that's when Cena unhooked.

No.

Cody, the babyface, hit Cena with a chair and unhooked the bottom rope and then hit Cena with the buckle.

He's hitting him with the turnbuckle.

And the people booed him.

And Cena struggled up, and Cody hit him again with it.

And Cody's,

the look on his face, I don't want to do this.

Just stay down.

I won't have to.

Don't do it.

You got to baby face.

This fucking guy's groveling in front of you.

Now you're beating up a senior citizen.

He went for a third time, and Cena got the fucking STF and wrapped the rope kind of around Cody.

And Cody reversed it

and hit three crossroads and got a two count on Cena.

And Cena kicked out to huge cheers.

And I'm, what in the name of God are they doing here?

And at first,

again, the first part of the match, Cody was really waltzing Cena across Texas and Cena was fighting from underneath.

I thought, okay, they're showing that

Cody's the new generation.

He's 20 years younger, whatever the case.

You know,

that's with it.

But now he's hitting him over and over with his finishes.

Cena's kicking out.

Cody got the title belt and brought it in the ring and swung that at him.

And Cena ducked and gave him two AAs,

grabbed the belt and tossed it aside to make sure everybody knew that he was more fucking filled with moral fiber than Cody.

Eddie hit the AA off the top rope and cover two count.

And then Cena pulled out another slim gym table.

and set it up and got Cody up on the top, but Cody slipped it and jerked Cena off.

And they said it was a Cody cutter, but it was

here.

Let's jump through this table.

And they both went through it.

And then he hit one crossroads, one, two, three

and one to an okay pop.

When did you think that we would say Cody will regain the belt to an okay pop?

An AEW.

No, they've done a lot to damage Cody this last year.

I mean, when Punk beat Gunther, the place came down.

And this is the more important belt.

And Cody beat fucking the guy that fucked him for it to win it back.

And they were like, oh, okay.

And like I said earlier, Cody becomes an afterthought here.

He leaves, gives Cena the attention in the ring because he just turned babyface two days before this.

So he forgave everything bad that happened.

He had to teach John Cena a lesson.

And then the story goes on from there.

Yeah, I like the way that they

shook hands and drank beer with each other.

But Cody said, but on Sunday now, I'm going to have to hit you repeatedly over and over with that turnbuckle.

So anyway,

it's inexplicable

why that

they allowed the undercard to be the writers don't know the difference, but one would expect the actual wrestling veterans to have said, you know, fuck you.

But it was just every match was just tables and garbage and bah.

And then Cena gave Cody the belt.

They had an emotional hug.

They blew off the pyro.

Cody left.

Cena's getting the thank you, Cena.

And the music plays, and here comes Brock Lesnar

and Michael Cole.

Well, holy shit.

Michael Cole did do a one.

They even put a camera on him and showed it on Twitter.

When he, it was like he had seen the second coming of goddamn Woolly Mammoth that he never dreamed that Brock Lesnar would be there.

And the crowd went absolutely batshit because it's another star.

And this time,

it's not like, oh, golly, Seth's back.

We thought he was going to be gone for months.

We haven't seen him since last month.

They haven't seen this guy in fucking three or four years.

So he went, they went bad shit.

And he came down, and Cena just stared at him.

And he got in the rig and just picked John Cena up and gave him an F5.

And then Cena laid there, and Brock stood there, and off the air we went.

And I maintain that that would have worked just as well without the babyface turn on Friday.

But

nevertheless,

they've got a lot of names and a lot of stars, and they can just keep sending people out to do shit and break a table.

But at some point,

you know, they might actually have to start making the matches important again.

Just a thought for something for the future.

No one predicted Brock coming back.

Obviously, with Rollins, there was a segment of the fan base that thought there was a chance he could cash in or there would be some kind of cash in with Heyman or Braun, something.

No one was saying, and I bet Brock Lesnar will be there.

So it was a big surprise.

Michael Cole may have been surprised.

What do you think of Lesnar returning?

Some fans have been upset about it because of his inclusion in the Janelle Grant accusations against Vince McMahon.

She didn't sue Brock, but she said that Brock requested a bathroom video.

And

they were going to meet up, but it didn't happen.

So there isn't really, other than the exchange of that video, there's nothing against Brock, really.

Well, we didn't ever hear he got the video, did we?

For sure?

I think he did.

Did he get the video or he just asked for the video?

I think he, from what I remember, Vince was bragging, according to what was in the complaint, Vince was bragging to everyone, including Brock, about his girlfriend.

As part of the negotiations, according to Vince and text messages, Brock was going to have his way with her.

And Brock was telling Vince how he was going to just tear things up and whatever he was going to do.

There was an exchange of a video.

And then they were supposed to meet up one night in Connecticut, I think.

And Brock got too drunk.

So it never happened.

No, no, no, no.

Hold on now.

No, hold on now.

I heard that

he didn't make the trip.

There was some type of weather

fucking postponement or something

is a story that I remember.

I thought it was going to get too drunk.

I didn't remember here.

I don't know if Brock gets drunk unless it's he's drunk on that unpasteurized cow milk.

I'm sure he can get drunk.

But well, but no, no, I'm not, I'm sure he can.

I don't know whether he, you know, but point being, first of all, let's say this.

They just had the chief content officer, Triple H.

standing in the White House next to the most reprehensible, repugnant, slimiest human being on the face of the planet that's a 34-time convicted felon and a adjudicated sexual abuser.

And everybody knows what all of his many faults are.

So they don't care.

Number one.

They don't.

And number two,

not that I'm a fan of Brock Lesnar as a person.

I'm a fan of him as a

box office attraction and as one of the biggest stars in the business, but as a person,

I'm sure he's, I haven't seen him in decades.

I'm sure he's just as trumpy as the fucking rest of them.

So I could give a shit, but I will defend him in that.

No,

he's not been accused of doing anything wrong in terms of illegality

besides humoring his fucking weirdo boss and asking for a piss tape.

And I'll take asking for a piss tape over 34 convicted felonies anytime.

So Brock Lesnar is not nearly,

not nearly even on the radar list of the reprehensible people that they deal with in the TKO,

WWE, UFC fucking whole environment there.

Well, it's not about them.

Everybody just needs to get off that.

It's not about them bringing him back.

It's about the reaction, pushback.

You know, again, I was surprised how many people on social media, and it is just social media, were

seemingly very upset about him being brought back while the Janelle Grant lawsuit was still ongoing.

Well, yeah, and it's going to be ongoing for years.

Of what the fuck is that?

That's the thing.

In my estimation, Brock was humoring his weirdo fucking boss because we haven't heard any texts from Brock.

We haven't said you don't hear from Brock.

As I said, Brock would rather be on his fucking farm in Saskatoon or wherever

with Sable and his cows and pigs and horses or whatever.

You don't hear about Brock

jetting off to Monaco and going to Epstein's Island and spending nights partying in Las Vegas and being out with Connor McGregor.

He's a goddamn

throwback to the caveman.

He lives in the woods.

So I'm sure, yes, with Vince, you heard Vince's texts.

We heard all of those descriptions.

I'm sure Vince is there.

Oh, yeah, Brock, she'll do anything.

Well, have her send me a piss tape.

He's humoring the old fart.

Laurinidas,

I can buy as being enough of a toady and a sycophant and a stooge that he'll jump in with both feet in Vince's various proclivities.

But

trying to imagine Brock being on the scene when Vince's 80-year-old tallywhacker would come out,

I ain't getting that fucking picture.

No,

it wasn't that.

It was that Vince was trafficking her.

Well, no, I didn't know.

That's the accusation.

Yes, but the point is,

the road was closed for the traffic.

Brock didn't actually take that road.

He didn't go down that Hershey Highway.

Vince, rightfully enough, is accused of trying to traffic her.

But Brock Lesnar didn't hop on board the tramp train there.

So he didn't do anything and they've said he didn't do anything so my point is

i think they're all assholes but you can't just say we're not going to use brock lesnar forever because the creepy guy that you used to own this company said hey brock you want to sure vince yeah and and and five million dollars a match and i'll her

But I want the $5 million a match more.

It wasn't like that was going to make a significant difference in Brock's, whether he was going to re-up his contract or not, it was Vince's fucking kinks that whether that made more, it was more important to Vince than it was to Brock, for fuck's sake.

I don't.

Now, if somebody, if Sable had suddenly reported that Brock was making multiple trips to the New York metropolitan area.

for no apparent good reason, then we'd have reason to believe something was going on.

But no, I'm sure.

If Sable came out and said he was making regular trips to the barn, we may have reason to be concerned.

Well, and I would, you know what?

If the headlines came out that Brock Lesnar was accused of fornicating with his farm cows, I would put more stock in that

than I would that he was actively engaging in all these other things with Vince McMahon and his

illegal paralegal or whatever.

It's just really

Vince was trying to push that on everybody.

We don't know what we don't know, but what I want to ask you is if you're going to bring Bach back, if you're going to bring Brock,

if you're going to bring Brock back,

do you think this is the appropriate way to do it for Cena, who's leaving in a few months?

Or should Brock

have been used for someone who's active on the roster who could use a Brock Lesnar to help them get past a certain point or something?

Any issue with the way he's brought back who he's going to be working with?

Well, no, but is this Cena's last match or just last big match or because he's done in december survivor series then he does something on team i don't know

john cena has already put cody over such as it was

but i don't think john needs to put anybody else over on the way out especially if he's now a babyface

but by the same token they may have tied something in where Maybe they just got Brock to come back once to give Cena the proper farewell.

He beats Brock Lesnar and there he rides off in the sunset.

Or

does John want to contribute to a different layer of something where

Brock beats him in his last big match, but he gets another match to win, but then Cody has to come and beat Brock.

I don't know how long they got Brock for, how many matches or whatever.

See, again, he's the guy who ended the streak.

And a lot of people at the time had a problem with him being the specific guy to do it, who was basically a part-timer.

He was in semi-regularly.

It's the same thing here.

You know, him and Cena.

He's doing something as two part-time guys,

you know, unless Brock's full-time, which I doubt.

Well, almost everybody's part-time now.

They only do this part-time.

That's true.

But I mean, it's just, it's for big matches.

Is it going to be Saudi Arabia or WrestleMania or Royal Rumble or Survivor Series?

Have they got a one-match deal, two-match deal, three-match deal, whatever?

I don't have any problem with with him coming out and laying out John Cena, and he needs to be a heel.

They got more babyfaces now than they used to.

But we got to see where this goes to determine who gets the benefit out of it.

In the end, somebody else besides John Cena or Brock Lesnar needs to benefit.

Somebody that's going to be there ongoing.

But how do they get there?

That's what I don't know.

But

for all the people upset, no, if they brought John lorinitis back who has been named yes he participated in this he went along with it he tried to cover it up blah blah blah well then there's a problem but they deal with a lot more unsavory people on a regular basis than brock lesnar who asked for a p-tape to

placate his goddamn horny boss possibly we think maybe Who knows?

Sounds like it to me.

Back to the match.

One last thing.

You compared it to AEW, and that was a thought I had.

It wasn't even from the fight walking around.

It was from the big move after big move after big move, everyone kicking out.

I know that's the thing nowadays.

You want that reaction from the fans where you think this really has to be the end, but it isn't.

So you get the pop and you continue.

I thought it was too much here.

I thought it was way too much.

Well, when you convince people it has to be the end over and over and it isn't, then pretty soon, for a lot of people,

they just quit believing anything's the end.

And that then

there has to be a balancing act.

You can't not ever do anything shocking

and you can't do things shocking so often that nothing shocks anybody.

There has to be something in the middle.

And

I've seen enough furniture to last me a lifetime.

I've seen enough multiple person person matches and no disqualification bullshit to last a lifetime when all the no disqualification furniture breaking street fight and shit is not anywhere near the level of animosity between the participants that was found 30 or 40 years ago.

Show me that much animosity and I'll buy the goddamn furniture and the blood drinking.

But when it's just these phony ass, especially in AEW,

but sometimes in WWE, when it's just these phony ass scripted promos or the delusions of the guys who

think that people are buying their personalities they've concocted for themselves rather than ones they actually look like.

And nobody believes anybody's really mad because nobody believes the other guy

burned the other guy's house down or ran over the other guy's fucking car with his tractor or whatever.

It's just a bunch of stunts.

There's no legitimate feeling of these guys hate each other.

Until you get that, I don't want to see any more furniture.

Well, there it is.

Cody Rhodes, defeating John Cena, Brock Lesnar returns.

The end of night two, and that was the end of SummerSlam.

Thank God.

Well, this is my show.

And with that.

I was about to say it, it is yours.

I am handing you the dog's head.

Ladies and gentlemen, it may be a shorter dog this week than usual.

Back with more action later this week on the experience.

And next week on the drive-thru, we wanted to get this out first.

SummerSlam, two nights of fun.

And with that, the drive-thru is closed.

All right.

Nothing's sad.

I don't know how I'm going to take any more fun.

We'll be back next week on this show.

Back next week on the experience.

Or in a few days on the experience, go through the archive, patreon.com/slash cornet, five dollars a month, gets you access to the archive.

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And with that, we are out of here, back in a few days on the experience, and next week, back here on the drive-thru for Jim Cornette.

I'm the great Brian Last.

Tally ho!

Ouch.