Full Court Press

Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast.

I'm Bailiff Jesse Thorne.

This week, full court press.

Rick brings the case against his friend Ken.

During the 2019-2020 NBA season, Rick and Ken made a bet about who would be named Rookie of the Year.

Ken bet on Zion Williamson.

Rick bet on Jaw Morant.

While Ja Morant was named Rookie of the Year, Ken believes he should not be compelled to pay.

He says the pandemic caused too many complications.

The bet should be voided.

Rick says Ken needs to pay up.

Who's right, who's wrong?

Only one can decide.

Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents an obscure cultural reference.

Jean-Hubert Petillon, Jean-Paul Le Pan, Joseph Bernard, François Roland, Pierre Stéphane, Yves Lepage, Jean Panaron, Hervé Merur, Pierre Carbouc.

Bailiff Jesse Thorne, please swear them in.

Rick and Ken, please rise and raise your right hands.

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

So help you, God or whatever.

I do.

I do.

Ken, Rick, do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling, despite the fact that he does not love the way they dribble up and down the court?

I do.

I do also.

Judge Hodgman, you may proceed.

Ken and Ricky, maybe seated for an immediate summary judgment in one of yours favors.

Can either of you name the piece of culture that I referenced as I entered the courtroom?

Let's start with

Ken, you're the one who just doesn't want to pay the bet, right?

Okay, Ken, you start.

What's your guess?

My guess is

famous French chefs.

Famous French chefs.

That's a pretty good guess.

It's just a list of names, after all.

I mean, this is a conflict about basketball.

So you might have guessed like French athletes, French basketball players.

Basketball players eat, John.

Yeah, that's true.

And you know what?

They probably eat more than most.

These guys are huge.

When they're in France, they're eating food made by famous French chefs.

I like that guess.

We're going to keep that in the guest book.

What about you, Rick?

I'm going to say that that is a quote from

the movie Blue Chips, delivered by Indiana basketball alum Matt Nova.

I like that guess quite a bit.

And I'll tell you something.

If I had not been screaming up Route 15 to get to the radio station,

because

I was way late at the hardware store

and had time to come up with a proper cultural reference, I might have chosen something from Blue Chips.

A basketball movie, right?

That's a basketball movie, isn't it?

There are a lot of famous basketball movies.

But if I had come up with a basketball movie cultural reference, surely, Rick or Ken, you would have guessed it because you are fans of basketball and I know nothing about basketball.

And luckily, I was saved by Providence in this case, because all guesses are wrong.

That was actually a list of the most recent nine mayors of a town in Brittany, in northwest France, called Brieux.

And I mentioned it only because I happen to be sitting here with a man named Brieux.

That's right,

Joel Mann's son-in-law is in studio observing the process today.

Swing that microphone over to Brea for a second.

Hello, everyone.

I'm very happy to be here.

And thank you, Judge, for having me in the court.

You're absolutely welcome.

And just an international observer, we are going overseas this fall to do some cases in England and maybe other points across the pond.

So this is a good opportunity for you to let me know if I'm doing anything that is out of accordance with international court standards.

We're here in the studios at WERU in Orland, Maine, 89.9 FM and on the line at WERU.org.

And Joel said, do you mind if my son-in-law sits in?

And I said, no, I don't mind at all.

And then I arrived, having completely forgotten about it because I was way late at the hardware store.

And suddenly this extremely handsome Britannia man is introducing himself with the name Brieu.

And it took me about 45 minutes to understand that that is spelled B-R-I-E-C.

And he's named after the town.

You know, you're from the northwest of France, right?

Yes, exactly.

Right.

And then this town has, you know, I listened to the last nine mayors.

These mayors stick around.

Like, usually they have at least a decade in office.

Yes, usually when they enter, they are very happy here.

So

they settle for a long time.

Right.

I mean, I'm...

I'm sorry to interrupt.

Bria, you don't have to do a funny voice just because it's a comedy podcast.

Calca shows, Jesse.

It might be my natural voice.

It's my French accent included, I guess.

Wonderful voice.

Anyway, I had to come up with something quick.

And thankfully you were here, Bria.

Welcome.

Welcome.

And hello, Joel.

How are you?

Bonjour.

All right.

Let's move on with the case.

Who seeks justice in this court?

That's me, Rick.

It is you, Rick.

What is the nature of the justice that you seek?

Tell me about this bet with Ken.

So Ken and I share

occupancy in a group chat on one of the social medias.

And we made a bet back in 2019 about the NBA rookie of the year.

And this is right before COVID

came through.

Right.

Zion Williamson had just gotten injured.

And so there was a likelihood that he was going to miss miss a bunch of games.

And so I made the comment that it would be silly to presume that he would win the rookie of the year.

Ken took the opposite opinion, and so we made a bet.

It was $100.

He actually got a little bit of juice on it, too.

And

the season happened.

Zion Williamson.

Wait, what is the juice you're talking about?

Some kind of, what's the sports juice you mean here?

Yes.

$100 bet.

If I were to win, I would have gotten $100.

Oh, okay.

And if Ken were to win, he would have gotten $250.

Right.

Because the odds were in your favor, Rick, because Zion Williamson was injured and

you were betting against him getting better.

You were rooting for his misfortune.

Absolutely.

And got it.

Okay.

His personal physical misfortune.

You hoped ill of another.

You made a prediction based on the fact.

I mean, it's look, you know, I don't make the basketball rules.

Air Budd writes the basketball rules.

Nowhere in the rule book did it say a dog can't write the rules.

No, there's a part that says woof, woof, woof.

That's true.

And it's often been debated what that means,

but it seems to me unfair that a player who's doing really well takes an injury and is automatically disqualified or probably disqualified from winning rookie of the year.

But that's the way the basketball bounces.

Yeah,

there's also some history to that.

So

there is not a specific rule that says how many games you have to play to win Rookie of the Year, but historically, no one has won Rookie of the Year without playing at least something like 60% of the games.

And with the injury that Zion was facing at that point, it was very unlikely he was going to reach that threshold.

So that was

sort of the impetus for my bet.

So who did you bet on then, Rick?

Tell me about this player.

Yeah, so

I actually bet on the field, but it was pretty clear early on that it was going to be a two-horse race between John Morant

of the Memphis Grizzlies and Zion of the Pelicans, the New Orleans Pelicans.

I didn't even know of these teams until just now.

I knew the Pelicans because that's a funny name for a basketball team, I think.

And honestly, Grizzlies, I don't think that they're particularly good at basketball either.

I'm not talking about the team.

I'm talking about the animal.

Like, Jesse, don't you think that those, these don't seem like swift, nimble athletes, these Pelicans and Grizzly Bears?

no and while i think that there are a fair number of pelicans in new orleans along with a history of sports teams named the pelicans uh grizzlies wouldn't be one of the top threats uh of the natural world in memphis tennessee no there's actually a chapter in a uh book about basketball called basketball and other things that compares who would be better at basketball Carl Malone or a grizzly bear.

So I encourage you guys to read it if you've never heard of it.

Oh, I didn't know that this had been studied already.

I would say I would be more concerned about grizzlies in Vancouver, British Columbia, where the top two concerns are grizzlies and Bryant big country Reeves.

So again, it's good to hear from you.

You supported Zion Williamson, even though he was injured.

What made you decide to stick with him?

Did you believe he was going to pull it out or do you have a naturally contrarian nature?

No, you know, I followed Zion when he was in high school.

He's a force of nature.

And he, you know, I followed his college career.

And I just, I think he was going to be an incredible player.

So he had to sit out at the beginning of the season because nursing an injury.

And then when Rick and I took the bet, I believe he hadn't actually played yet that season.

So

the bet was really more to, you know, is Zion going to be able to make up the difference about like 20 or 25 games into the season

between the gap between him and John Morant and the other rookies.

So

I just saw him play.

He reminded me of young Charles Barkley

crossed with, you know, Shaq, I guess is the closest thing I could think of.

And yeah, I just, you know,

he's an incredible player.

He just has a tough time staying in shape and staying on the court.

And so would you say that your bet was

sentimental?

Like you just always like this player and wish him the best.

And so

you didn't like that Rick was saying he's not going to make it.

So you were going gonna bet against him or was your bet like i think he's we haven't seen him play i think that he could actually do this

i think it was more the latter so uh i thought that his highs were going to be so high that they would kind of make everyone forget about the 20 or so games that he missed um he is just like a yeah a force of nature so in this case though non-sentimental betting or no

You were wrong.

Zion Williamson did not make rookie of the year.

Do you just not believe in honor?

Why don't you pay Rick his hundred bucks?

Well, the bet was for who is the rookie of the year.

And in my mind,

the spirit of the bet was, you know, who is going to win rookie of the year in a regular season with 82 games.

And what happened was the, you know, the season's obviously interrupted by a pandemic.

You know, there was, I believe, like almost four or five months off where nobody played basketball.

The season was shortened.

Not all of the teams were actually allowed to participate in the NBA bubble.

And so, under

that sort of premise, I thought, well, this bet should be voided because it's not exactly like a fair bet anymore.

You know, there's a number of examples of force majeure, where, you know, you have this act of God that sort of interrupts something.

I believe that's a French term.

Can we get a excuse me?

Can we get a ruling on that from Bria?

Is force majeure a French term?

Absolutely.

It's when there is something you cannot control that comes and you are obliged to go with it.

It's mostly an insurance company term.

I understand.

Thank you very much, Brio.

We're lucky to have you here.

I don't have to do the voice, though.

Given the act of God major force element of this, you feel the bet should have been voided.

Yes, in that scenario.

That is my argument.

Because obviously we were all dealing with a lot of uncertainty.

We were all dealing with stuff that was relatively unprecedented

in our lives and the health of our of our world and our culture and sports too.

Why do you reject this argument that

the bet should be invalidated given the fact that, well, I mean, how long was the season ultimately that seat that year?

So it depends on which team, but the Pelicans season was shortened by 10 games, which isn't a lot.

Zion ended up playing only 24 of the games, which is

Yeah, I know, but it's like, how many, what's a normal season number of games?

A normal season is 82 games.

82.

But they played 72.

Right.

Yep.

And he, and he played 22 of those.

He played, I think, 24.

He played a third of their games, exactly a third of their games.

Yeah, that's exactly right.

I mean, God or whatever knows, I'm incredible at math.

It is exactly 0.33333333.

And I'm not just looking at the calculator on my phone.

It's hard to argue with the numbers, isn't it, Ken?

It is difficult to argue in that sense.

I would say that, you know, had the season continued,

you know, absent a pandemic,

to be honest, I don't think Zion Williamson would have won.

I think he missed too many games to actually catch up.

But

my

perspective on it is that, you know, this is a futures bet.

And if you're filming with sports betting, you know, it's a bet to

some outcome.

So it's a bet for an outcome that is in the future, not like betting on a game that's going to occur today, for example.

I only bet on things that have happened in the past.

And it is work great.

And in the case of the pandemic,

many of the sports books voided a lot of these future bets because the games did not take place when they were supposed to.

The

seasons were not the length that they were supposed to.

And so despite the fact that I think that I would have lost the bet under normal circumstances,

that is why I'm pushing for a voiding of the bet as opposed to, you know, claiming to

win in some insane scenario.

Ken, are you a sports book?

No, but sometimes I have to place bets for my friends.

So maybe a bookie in some way, I guess.

But when you say sports book, you're talking about a betting organization for sports.

Yes, like the campaigns are

just defining terms for

all of our listeners, pretty much.

And is there a major sports book that voided this particular bet, if you see what I mean, this particular futures bet?

So I tried to do the research and find specific examples of bets that they avoided,

but there is no sort of like clear definition.

I have several quotes from managers at large sports books saying they're going to void, you know, certain bets on the, on futures bets and the reasons behind it.

But the exact bets, unfortunately, I couldn't find this exact one.

not which is why rick

which is why rick won't leave me alone right and right and judge um i i will actually uh give in on the point that a lot of sports books did uh void the bet but that was also the assumption behind the bet before we made it they had already uh thrown the bet out which is uh why we were talking about it in the first place so that was built into the it was baked into the equations of the bet yeah right so they had already voided the rookie Rookie of the Year futures bet because of this unusual season?

Because they voided the bet due to Zion's torn meniscus.

So he was probably going to miss about half the season.

And he, before that moment, was a big favorite to win.

So they had taken it off the books, at least temporarily at that point.

So the sports book basically said, force majeure or no,

Zion Williamson is not going to be Rookie of the Year this year, so we're not even going to entertain the bet.

Is that what you're saying to me, Rick?

Yes.

Your Honor, I must object.

Sustained.

Injuries for futures bets are not a reason for the bets to be voided.

Sportsbooks may stop offering the bet because someone is not going to play, but the bets that were placed are not voided.

And so if someone is injured, they don't refund your money.

Of course, the casino wouldn't do that ever.

So I must object to this

statement made by the plaintiff and with, you know,

with zest.

I don't know.

With zest.

I love it.

With zest.

Nice zest.

Let's take a quick recess and hear about this week's Judge John Hodgman sponsor.

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Rick, how do you feel about gambling in general?

Are you a gambler?

I am not personally a gambler.

The group chat that Ken and I made the bet on is

full of a lot of folks who like to gamble.

So there's a lot of talk about gambling and that's how the topic came up.

Did you sense a sucker in Ken because you knew that he was that Zion Williamson was never going to make rookie of the year?

I sensed a sucker in the sense that you picked up on this earlier, that Ken has a contrarian nature.

And so

as soon as I say certain things, sometimes he will take the opposite point of view.

And I felt strongly that

what I said was...

Hold for a moment, Rick, please.

Ken, do you have a a contrarian nature?

I don't think there's a real good answer to this because if I say no, that means I'm contrarian.

I don't like that you saw my game coming.

I don't like you saw my game.

I saw right.

All right, well,

that's a perfect answer.

You beat me this time, Ken.

I was setting you up so hard.

You know what?

You know what, Rick?

I think Ken's pretty clever.

I think Ken's pretty clever.

He is clever.

Ken is very clever, but if he were really clever, he would have sent in specific evidence of bets on Zion Williamson that had been canceled by sports books and no questions asked, all money refunded, or no payments made.

But instead, Ken, you sent in some pictures of some text chats.

What's going on?

Yes.

So

there's a couple of things that are happening.

This is the group chat that you both belong to where the bet was submitted.

Yes.

So it's a group chat of all of our friends from business school.

And

we have a lot of sports gambling talk that goes in there.

And Rick is not really a gambler, but my theory is that he saw this opportunity to include himself in the conversation for the next like six or eight months.

And one thing that you have to know about Rick is

he really likes to annoy everyone in the group.

And my theory is that he saw this as an opportunity to annoy me for the next six to eight months,

as evidenced by some of the messages that I've sent through.

You know, he would continually just message me in the group chat about like, hey, like, you know, here's like the update on Zion and John Morant and like trash talk me and things of that nature.

And then as you can see by the fact that we're doing this podcast right now, he's continued to annoy me about it over the last three years.

And so the evidence I have provided is more to not less so about the basketball part of it and more to

show that Rick actually does not care about this bet nor does he really believe the bet should not be voided but he's doing this just to annoy me and uh that is uh how does this evidence show all i see here is

in the group chat rick sends a a drawing of a of a man's face and this this is the drawing of a man's face that you might I mean this is not Rick, what is your profession, if I may ask?

I am in marketing.

Right.

You're not a fine artist.

You're not a man's fine artist.

This is a drawing of a man's face you might see in a nightmare.

Yes.

I was going to say this drawing of a man's face that you might see

doodled on an elementary school desk or on a trapper keeper or something.

Who is this supposed to be, Rick?

You know, it's not by a skilled hand.

I wouldn't say that there is a particular model in mind.

It's kind of just

an attempt at drawing a face.

And it says, here's the drawing of the face, and your message to the group is my first drawing, any feedback.

Obviously, this nightmare face is going to be available on our show page at maximumfund.org and on our Instagram at instagram.com/slash judgejohodgman.

But it's this picture of this.

I'm going to tell you guys, it doesn't not look like Bryant Big Country Reeves.

I don't understand the intention at all here, Rick.

And in fact, I asked Jennifer Marmor, our producer, what is this image supposed to mean?

And she said, I don't know.

And then she said she was going to ask you, and I don't think that you responded.

Instead, you sent it into the group chat and just said, my first drawing, any feedback?

I'm following.

Do you like my crosshatching?

Yeah, you did do some cross-hatching there.

That's an illustrative technique.

For those people who might not be familiar with the English term cross-hatching, Bria, it's when you're using fine lines and you create shadows by essentially making a grid of lines, cross-hatching.

You understand?

He says, he indicates that he understands.

I'd like to illustrate for the audience, though, that after nobody replied to his, this is my drawing, first drawing any feedback, after Slikes, and nobody responded, he then replied with, do you like my crosshatching?

So, you know, this is hours later.

He's still on it, like waiting for someone to have a reaction.

I mean, look, as many questions as I have for Rick,

sending this

this inscrutable weird image apropos of nothing into the group chat and demanding a reply, as many questions I have for Rick about that, Ken, I'm asking you, you weaseled out of my are you contrarian trap?

You're a smart guy.

What does this evidence have to do with anything that we're talking about here today?

Just that Rick likes to poke at the group chat?

Yes, so

I'm trying to take a character-based argument to show that Rick really doesn't care about this this bet at all and that he's just doing this to annoy me.

And so much of the evidence I've provided is Rick trolling myself and other people in our group chat.

This is an example of that, this random nightmare drawing, as you've so eloquently put it.

And then, you know, this long pause of nobody reacting because they know he's fishing for a response.

And then him going, do you like my crosshatching?

Which is an absurd statement to begin with.

I actually think it's pretty funny.

I actually think so.

Funny follow-up.

There's just tons of examples throughout the course of my history with Rick where he's just trolling me or trolling us and trying to annoy me.

I would like to provide another example, if I may.

You may.

Rick, you know, when I first met Rick,

I thought he sounded a little bit like James Vanderbeek in the movie Varsity Blues.

And, you know, there's this very famous line from...

from the movie, like, you know,

playing football for Wes Kanan may have been the opportunity of your life, but I don't want your life.

So after I told Rick that, he proceeded to call me randomly every few months or leave messages on my phone,

yell that line into the phone, and then hang up for six years.

So,

Rick, do you deny this accusation?

Not at all.

Why did you do that?

When he told me initially,

you know, this is back in 2011, that I sounded like James Vanderbeek and varsity blues.

He enjoyed it, he got a good kick out of it, and so I wanted to give him that enjoyment every few months for six or seven years.

You miserable troll.

You walk into this,

you walk into my courtroom and say, Prank calling your friend for six years is your effort to bring him joy.

Is that what you would have me believe?

Yes.

Hmm.

So, Ken, finally, you sent in another text chat, and this is between Rick and are you, do you have this in front of you?

Yes.

So this is a conversation between Rick and are you the, are you the respondent in this conversation?

I believe I am, yes.

You believe you are.

All right.

This is in the group chat.

It is me.

It is me.

Okay.

This is you responding.

So I will, in this, just to give folks a sense.

Let's do a little role play.

I will say the role of Rick and you read your lines.

Rick, and I don't know what I don't know where we are in this conversation, so I'm just coming in.

This is a cold read, first of all.

I don't know what the context of this conversation is.

Rick, no, it's not.

It's the exact opposite.

You are selling your honor to hold on to a good troll that you enjoy.

All right, pause there for a second.

Rick, did you write that?

I did.

All right.

Okay, go ahead, Ken.

What's your response?

All right.

My response is, it's you that trolls.

You bring it up.

I never do.

You live for it, you sicky.

Annoying people is your number one priority on this chat.

You're fishing for eye rolls constantly.

Defending the indefensible is a troll.

You can't tell me this doesn't bring you sick joy.

It brings me much less joy than $100

and seen.

I want to add the context that one of...

Not only does Rick love trolling, he loves pretending that he's not a troll.

And in this case, he's accusing me of trolling him by not paying him $100.

And so I don't know if you guys have a younger brother or not, but it reminds me very much of like when you have a younger brother who's, whose, you know, goal in life is to just annoy you and then pretend as though he's not trying to annoy you.

Like, what, what do you mean?

Like, I wasn't doing anything.

And my theory is that Rick.

Rick has an older brother.

My theory is that he's moved on from trolling his brother to trolling our friend, our group of friends and myself, most importantly.

Do you have any evidence to prove your theory, Clever Ken?

You know, Rick, I'm sure Rick could attest to maybe some of this, but it's mostly probably in my head.

It's speculation.

It's speculation.

I'm going to set that aside as speculation.

It's part of your head cannon.

Yeah.

Correct.

I'm going to set that aside as sheer head cannon.

Absolutely, Jesse.

Thank you.

And finally, you sent in this picture of Rick on vacation.

It's a family vacation.

It is a photo of him.

Where are you in this photo, Rick?

I'm in Alaska.

We're on a cruise in Alaska.

Okay.

And you have a specific haircut.

How would you describe the haircut, Ken?

I would say it's a cross between the show Vikings and Brock Lesnar.

All right.

I'm getting one of those.

Basically,

you got a little man ponytail on top of your head.

It looks like you've also shaved around the hemisphere of your head.

So there really is only

a top of your head ponytail.

That's correct.

By the way,

Bria, if you don't know, Brock Lesnar is an American professional wrestler and former MMA artist and a professional American football player.

Something that I know because I'm an American.

And I definitely didn't just look it up on Wikipedia for you.

I'm going to be honest with you, this haircut feels like it's trolling me specifically because all of the hair is in exactly the place where I do not have hair.

Yeah, it looks like you're wearing a little hair beanie with a little hair propeller on top of it.

And Ken, your note here is no one would get that haircut sincerely.

I am convinced he did it just to troll us with this picture.

Is that the point of this evidence?

Yes,

that's the reason I believe that he sent it to us.

It was, you know, the last time I saw Rick, which is maybe like six to eight months ago, he had a normal haircut.

And then all of a sudden, he drops this in the group chat.

And he never mentioned that he was getting a haircut.

All we see is just this, this ridiculous top ponytail.

And no, he doesn't acknowledge it at all.

He's just laying it out there for us.

And I just can't believe that it wasn't on purpose.

I, you know, no part of me could envision him going to the barber and being like, give me this haircut.

And like, just saying, like, yeah, that's what I actually want.

He's just thinking, oh man, these guys are going to laugh so hard or they're going to be so annoyed with me.

And that's my theory.

What inspired you to get this haircut?

Was it to troll your group chat?

I did not get this haircut to troll my group chat.

I

was not even thinking of them when I got my haircut.

Actually, my wife, who is in the picture, cuts my hair.

She's been cutting my hair for years.

And I think she did a marvelous job.

Did she suggest this haircut?

She did not.

It was my suggestion.

What was it?

And your inspiration was the very famous American wrestler, Brock Lesnar,

and also the Vikings.

And also, what?

So I, sometime in the next five to 10 years, want to go on the TV show Survivor.

And as a male, you kind of have to have long hair to go on Survivor.

So I'm growing it out, but I still want it to be professional also.

And so this is my compromise.

Ken.

This is a very professional haircut.

This is what I would expect a lawyer to wear to court.

Thank you.

If the lawyer was Brock Lesnar.

Ken, let me ask you this question.

I don't know what to believe anymore with this guy.

Is he going to try out for survivor?

Yes or no?

I don't think he's going to try out for survivor.

I don't know how anyone could listen to that response and not think he's trolling you.

to be honest.

That's what I'm concerned about.

Five years time?

I know, Ken.

I do.

I wonder if he is.

I feel trolled a little bit.

I don't know.

I don't know what to say.

I don't know about this guy, Rick.

Who is Blair Mancini, and what does Blair Mancini have to do with this, Ken?

So, Blair Mancini is one of our former classmates from business school.

And

when this,

you know, and for some reason,

one of our friends,

I probably shouldn't use his real name, but let's call him Hans.

And let's be clear,

I have it written here that

we have explicit permission from Blair Mancini to use Blair Mancini's full name, but only in the context of the Blair Mancini decision.

I don't need, I don't need, hey, Ken, I don't need Blair Mancini's whole biography.

Just explain to me the Blair Mancini decision and what it has to do with this case.

All right.

So, when we couldn't decide within our group chat who was right or wrong or whether the bet should be voided or not,

what happened was one of our friends, Hans, took the decision to another group chat with a lot of our business school friends where our friend Blair Mancini resides.

And Blair Mancini was then tasked with deciding by Hans

whether or not the bet should be voided or not.

And Blair Mancini ruled in my favor, saying that any bets made on an 82-game season during the pandemic should be voided.

I will also add that Hans and Rick have some bizarre man relationship that goes beyond

any of us in the group chat.

Hans is a staunch Rick apologist and defender.

And so

under my, you know, under my purview, or excuse me, under my view,

you know, Hans was acting as proxy for Rick in this group chat where Rick was also present.

Jesse, I'm...

beginning to feel I don't belong to enough group chats.

You know what I mean?

I mean, I can't think of a single group chat.

Joel, will you be in a group chat with me?

Sure.

Thanks.

Bria?

Sure.

Sure.

He says yes, too.

We got one going.

Jesse?

I'm out.

Oh, no.

I thought I had something there.

That's fine.

That's fine.

Rick, did you agree to abide by Blair Mancini's decision when it was submitted to him?

I don't like being made into an appeals court here.

No, not at all.

Is that true?

No, it was.

Is that true?

I don't like the smile in your voice.

No,

Blair Mancini was brought into this case.

Rick, are you going to, are you auditioning for survivor?

Yes or no?

Yes or no?

Not yet.

Not yet.

No, I'm not.

Not yet.

Have you ever spoken about your intent to audition for survivor before this podcast?

Yes or no?

I'll remind you, you're under fake oaths.

Yes.

To whom did you speak it?

Yes, for years.

To whom?

To my wife and anyone else who wants to hear about it.

She can't testify against you.

I need evidence of this.

Get it.

I have a Teams chat.

You have another group chat?

I won't allow it.

I have a Teams chat at work that is just to talk about Survivor, and it's well known.

It's a well-known team.

I mean, I knew about it.

How did you know about the Teams?

John, you haven't heard about this chat?

No.

No.

It's well known.

It's well known.

It's well known.

Were you surprised when Ken wouldn't pay up the bet, Rick?

Is this in Ken's nature?

We've spent a lot of time dealing with Ken attempting to assassinate your character.

Seems like turnabout is fair play.

Does Ken refuse to pay up on bets?

Never.

And that was sort of what made it so surprising and borderline hurtful, I would say.

Borderline hurtful.

And you're being sincere there.

I am being sincere.

Same more.

How did it hurt you?

You know,

when you make a wager with a friend,

you expect that you're both on kind of honest terms.

and then when it doesn't get reciprocated at the end it sort of can feel like a personal slight like a disrespect ken i saw you shake your head do you feel differently about a bet with a friend i i feel differently about a bet with a friend and a bet with a friend that is rick certainly um i wish this is a video podcast and the audience could see rick's face as he gave that answer because i feel like there's no way they would have believed anything he said it

It doesn't help that the studio that Rick happens to be in, he is lit overhead with a red-tinted light bulb, making him truly look like Satan.

Yeah, it's like if Hype Williams made a video about the devil.

But yeah, like I am a man of honor.

I consider myself a man of honor.

I'm Canadian also, so you know, we're very honorable, honorable people.

And

if I felt that I was in the wrong and uh and absolutely owed Rick the money, I would pay him at the drop of a hat.

But I don't believe that the bet should be paid, and I also don't believe that Rick actually cares at all.

So due to both of those sort of

those reasons, I feel like I must not pay him, but I'm

open to

finding a amicable solution.

You've been accused, Rick, of not caring about the bet at all.

Now, this could just be Ken trying to get out of paying you 100 bucks in U.S.

dollars, by the way.

And we would adjust for inflation.

$100 isn't what it used to be.

Rick, how do you think you will feel if I rule in your favor and you get that $100?

So

Ken is right in the sense that I don't care about the $100, but I do care about the respect that comes along with paying off on a bet with a friend.

So if you rule in my favor,

I would ask that Ken just pay the $100

to a charity of his choice.

It doesn't have to come to me.

This would mean overruling Blair Mancini.

Am I going to get in trouble?

Is Blair Mancini going to come for me?

Well, I believe that Blair Mancini is a lower fake internet court than yourself.

So you have the full right to

overrule in the appeals process.

I think it's fair to suggest that a fake internet court takes precedence over a fake group chat court.

Yeah, that's a fine.

Yeah, we've been around for a while.

We're settled law over here.

We're not some upstart group chat settling disputes.

We're not on Quibi.

You know what I mean, Jesse Thorne?

We're not doing a judge show on Quibi.

Nope, there aren't any more judge shows on Quibi anymore because Quibi's gone, baby.

You find it on the Roku channel.

Rick says that he did not agree in advance to abide by Blair Mancini's ruling.

Is that true or no?

he did not agree to abide by this ruling however

that's all i need to know thank you okay all right how is this bet still coming up three years later

well you know after the initial bet there is kind of like this lull period and then um over the past i would say like year it's definitely become more of a point of contention and my theory is that rick got bored of other trolls that he was committing and so he's really started to push back on this one even though it seemed like it had been settled for about one or two years.

And more recently in the last six months, he's really been pushing hard.

And Rick is the one that always brings it up and then accuses me of trolling him.

And that's, you know, one of my triggers, I guess, and how we find ourselves here today.

Rick, why would you say that this is still going on specifically more in the past few months?

I think that Ken likes to use Blair Mancini as a crutch.

Whenever anything happens that he doesn't approve of, he will say that Blair Mancini voided whatever the thing is.

And I think that he's just had a run lately of instances where he could use that crutch, and that's why it's been coming up more.

You mean Blair Mancini has settled other disputes?

Blair Mancini has never settled any dispute, which is why

this verdict of his is so powerful.

We brought him out for this one-time thing only, and he laid down the law.

And frankly, I think that's that means something to me

rick how is he using blair mancini as a crutch in other ways then he just brings up the name in conversation what is it about blair mancini that you would turn to him for for this kind of wisdom months before you would turn to me who is blair mancini

Well, Blair Mancini is, you know, he's one of our classmates.

Yeah, I already know he's one of your buddies.

Why do you like him so much?

Why do you trust him so much with the fate of your monies?

I think we've all had good interactions with him.

He seems like a level-headed guy with a lot of, you know, really, really strong educational background.

And I think he's a man of honor.

Look, there are a lot of bros in your business bro group chat.

Why is this bro unlike any other?

I think the thing is, he knows absolutely nothing about our group chat.

And so as a total impartial third party, he was an ideal candidate.

Rick,

let me ask you, what do you think Ken sees in Blair Mancini?

I know that you didn't agree to abide by Blair Mancini's ruling,

but what is it about Blair Mancini that has so captured Ken's imagination so much?

I think in our group chat, it's a lot of yappy guys.

We talk a lot.

And Blair has the opposite personality.

He's very quiet and he's stoic.

And when Blair says something, I think we all listen up and pay attention to what he has to say.

If I were to rule in your favor, this would be a real slap in the face of Blair Mancini.

How would you feel?

How do you think Blair Mancini would feel

knowing that I overruled him?

I think he has so much respect for you that he would take it in stride and be happy with your verdict.

Ken, do you think Blair Mancini even knows who I am?

He actually did know who you were.

He asked if you had been on the daily show.

And so he does

who I am?

Do you hear that?

Blair Mancini.

That's high praise.

That's high praise.

Joe, you hear that?

Blair Mancini?

Yes, I did.

Yeah.

Amazing.

I want to get him on Blair Mancini's group chat.

Ken, if I were to rule in your favor, what would you have me rule?

I would have you rule that I don't have to pay Rick $100, but I will still pay $100 to charity

because I think that's a nice thing.

But I would like for Rick to admit that he is a troll and that this entire

Sherade has been a three and a half long year troll, which has culminated in me going on a podcast for the first time.

I'm sorry, Ken, I don't understand that term, charade.

What's the French pronunciation of that word for charade?

It would be charade.

Charade.

Thank you very much.

I appreciate that.

Yeah, got it.

Charade.

Charade.

Okay, Rick, if I were to rule in your favor, what would you have me rule?

Get in trouble with Blair Mancini and get you some money?

Yeah, you know,

Blair Mancini is a wonderful guy.

I believe that he ruled an error in this case, and I would ask that you overrule

on the appeal, Blair Mancini's ruling, and that Ken be ordered to pay the money to charity.

Okay.

I think I've heard everything I need to in order to make my decision.

Any follow-up questions from

Maine or Brittany?

Yeah, ready for the verdict.

Don't know much about basketball.

Maybe just Scotty Pippin was underrated, but that's it.

Okay.

Thank you very much.

I don't have time to get into fights here.

I'll be back in a moment with my decision.

Please rise as Judge Sean Hodgman exits the courtroom.

Ken, how are you feeling about your chances?

Not great, to be honest.

But,

you know,

I think I've presented a lot of really strong evidence that at least proves that Rick, you know, is who I say he is.

So at least there's that.

Rick, how do you feel about your chances in the case?

I don't feel great either.

I feel like we spent a lot of time talking about what are considered troll tendencies in my personality.

But

I will say that Ken has to admit that there are a lot of times that I'm very earnest and I talk about

how much I value our friendship and that he's a good buddy of mine.

And

I'm glad at the end of the day that we get to go through this experience together.

We'll see what Judge Hodgman has to say about this when we come back in just a minute.

Hi, I'm Alexis.

I'm one of the co-hosts of Comfort Creatures and I'm here with River Jew, who has been a member since 2019.

Thank you so much for being a listener and a supporter of our show.

Yeah, I can't believe it's been that long.

Yeah, right?

As the Max Fun member of the month.

Can I ask what sort of made you decide to be a member?

I used to work in a library, so I just used to listen to podcasts while I reshelfed all the books.

Really help was

doing being at work.

So I just wanted to give back to what's been helping me.

Yeah.

It feels good to be part of that.

As the member of the month, you will be getting a $25 gift card to the Maximum Fund store, a member of the month bumper sticker, and you also, if you're ever in Los Angeles, you can get a parking spot at the Max Fun HQ just for you.

Yay!

I'm actually going to LA September, so I'll get to use the parking.

Yes!

Thank you so much, River, for doing this.

This has been an absolute blast.

Yeah, of course.

I've been so glad to be able to talk to you too, and I'm so excited to be a member of the month.

Yay!

Become a Max Fun member now at maximumfun.org slash join.

Hey, everybody, I'm Jeremy.

I'm Oscar.

I'm Dimitri.

And we are the Euroevangelists for a weekly podcast spreading the word of the Eurovision Song Contest, the most important music competition in the world.

Maybe you already heard Glenn Weldon of NPR's pop culture happy hour talk up our coverage of this year's contest.

But what do we talk about in the offseason?

The rest of Eurovision, duh.

There are nearly seven decades of pop music history to cover.

We've got thousands of amazing songs, inspiring competitors, and so much drama to discuss.

And let me tell you, the drama is juicy.

Plus, all the gorillas and bread-bacon grandmas that make Eurovision so special.

Check out Euroevangelists available everywhere you get podcasts.

And you could be a Euroevangelist too.

Ooh, I want to be one.

You already are.

It's that easy.

Okay, cool.

Judge Hodgman, we're taking a quick break from our case, case, and we are also headed to London, England, Friday, September 15th, and Saturday, September 16th.

I need the people to understand London is the capital of England.

This isn't just some city in England.

It's the biggest one in England, in the United Kingdom, I dare say.

And we are going so happy to return once again to the London Podcast Festival this September 15th and 16th.

Tickets are already on sale, and you can go and get them and all the other details at maximumfund.org slash events.

That's maximumfund.org slash events.

We're also looking for what, Jesse?

Disputes, baby.

English disputes.

London disputes, cockney rhyming disputes?

Any dispute that you might be able to do?

Decker bus disputes.

I know.

It could be Decker versus Decker.

What if one Decker thinks it's better than the other?

Umbrella-related disputes.

Yeah, exactly.

That's what I'm talking about.

If you live in England and are coming to the London Podcast Festival and you've got a dispute with someone who is also going to be there, and you'd like us to adjudicate your dispute live on stage at King's Place at the London Podcast Festival, well, this is really your only chance this year to get those beefs aired.

Go to maximumfund.org/slash JJ H O to submit your London beefs.

And to get tickets, it's maximumfund.org/slash events.

And watch this space because all I got to say is it's not just going to be London that we head to.

Not just going to be London.

Not just going to be London.

Also, George, watch this space because there's going to be maybe a surprise after the credits of this episode.

So, you know, just stick around.

That's my sly voice.

Do you like it, Jesse?

Yeah, I mean, I guess, sure.

I should say yes, right?

Let's get back to the case.

Please rise as Judge John Hodgman re-enters the courtroom and presents his verdict.

Blair Mancini knows my name.

It's incredible.

Incroable, they say, right?

That's what they say.

Honestly, I feel a little bit nervous about overruling Blair Mancini's ruling.

I mean, Blair Mancini, as I pointed out, probably

does know what Blair Mancini is talking about, whereas I really don't.

I don't know anything about the intricacies, the sports intricacies of this dispute.

What I have is merely a bet not paid.

I have a wild accusation of trolledom against one party, Rick.

And then Rick's contention that Ken is his friend

and

that Rick is disappointed in his friend.

And, you know, I don't know whether Rick is a troll or not.

I mean, there is something about Rick's, and this is a French word, so if I get it wrong, his mean, mien, mean demeanor,

his self-expression that feels a little slippery to me.

When Rick says,

I am going to be on Survivor, I'm telling you the truth, I don't know if that's true.

When Rick says, believe it or not,

I wanted this haircut and I wasn't trolling anybody.

I don't know whether I believe that.

When Ken says, I think he's trolling you, I kind of feel trolled.

And the beauty of good trolling, and there is no good trolling, honestly, Rick, if you are trolling, if you are being facetious and insincere in order to get a reaction, I hope you're enjoying this reaction.

Because there's nothing you can do except not feed the trolls.

Have I spent this valuable podcast time feeding a troll?

The good trolls will never let you know.

The good trolls will never let you know.

Because that's what they want quick vote around here in in the studios in maine joel man

troll or no

definite troll troll

i would vote for troll 2 troll troll 2 the the the the the

the notoriously bad sequel to the movie troll

troll 2 one of the great goblin movies

i'm gonna i'm gonna say father-in-law and son i i've i mean my vote doesn't count you've already outvoted me but i just don't know if he's doing it he's doing a really good job the only evidence to suggest that he is not a troll is the evidence that he sent in

which is a photo that rick sent in of rick and ken

And I don't know if any of these dudes is Blair Mancini, but a couple of other business school bros.

The fact that he has this photo of the two of you, well, I was going to say arm in arm, but you're separated by one kind of fuzzy bro with a beard between you, but you seem happy and friendly together.

And you send him a nice picture of your kid,

of your child, very cute child.

And the new child on, a new child has just arrived.

So congratulations.

I have to give

Rick the benefit of the doubt.

that he is your friend, that he cares about your friendship.

I mean, it's hard.

it's like, you know, like,

it's clear that a lot of the group chat shenanigans you all get up to are a little bit alien to me because no one's ever invited me into any business bro group chats.

But it's like, you know,

there's a lot of, you know, like, what do you call these?

Shenanigans, Jesse?

What would you call like

bro talk?

A lot of junk busting.

A lot of junk busting.

Let the record show that

Rick.

Rick is laughing and thank you, Ken, for weighing in.

Good way of putting a lot of junk busting.

It's not my natural language, but it's, I think that it's clear, it's clear that you care about Rick, Ken, because you do have those good vibes.

You know, those are good vibes.

And I hope that that's not a troll.

I hope you're not reverse trolling me into thinking that you're a good dude.

No, we're definitely friends.

Yeah, definitely friends that I care a lot about him, which is why I've agreed to do that.

Yeah, when you say it, when you say it, I believe it.

When Rick says it, I'm like, I don't know about this guy.

But you know, as they say in dialectical behavior therapy, you can only believe what people say, right?

You can't read minds.

I'm not a mind reader like Joel and Brian over here.

I don't know for sure if you're a troll.

I have my suspicions that you're pushing it.

But even if you were an acknowledged troll, even if you had said on this podcast, I am going to come clean on this podcast and say, yeah, I enjoy getting a rise out of Ken by junk busting is junk about this.

Junk busting.

Busting makes me feel good.

That's from that song, Junk Junk Busters.

If you were to say that and just have a real honest moment on Judge John Hodgman podcast,

I wouldn't care because guess what?

Ken,

I'm going to make those good vibes bad.

You lost a bet.

A bet is a bet.

I'm sorry, Blair Mancini.

Your ruling means nothing unless Rick agreed to abide by the ruling ahead of time.

We're not taking people to fake courts here without, you know, you have the right to face your accused in fake court.

You can't bring people to court and get a judgment against them.

Actually, I did get a judgment against the guy who sublet my apartment in New Haven after I left college and moved to New York.

And then he never paid the rent and got up to a lot of messy stuff in there and then disappeared.

Could never collect on that.

Could never collect on that.

Chelso, if you're out there, I'll find you.

Anyway, a bet's a bet.

You lost the bet.

You got to pay up.

You got to pay up with damages, Ken.

Sorry to say.

You went for that two and a half.

You went for that 2.5 to 1 odds.

You thought you were going to clean up with 250 bucks.

Guess what?

You're going to pay 250.

$100 in 2019 is now worth $120.82, according to the U.S.

Bureau of Labor Statistics Inflation Calculator, one of my favorite websites.

$120.82 is going to go.

you said you were gonna you said you'd be happy to donate to a charity anyway yes yes you said that those are your words so you're gonna donate 120.82 in rick's memory to entertainmentcommunity.org that is the organization that is creating a fund to help support people who are striking in the entertainment industry when when this airs it is unless things change dramatically the wga writers guild of america will still be on strike and maybe even joined by the Screen Actors Guild,

one hopes.

And this is for people who are affected by this labor action, there's an emergency fund that

they can apply to and get money for through the entertainment community, entertainmentcommunity.org for anyone else who wants to support this labor movement.

And then you're going to give another $120.82.

It's very rare.

It's very rare, Jesse, that we actually have monetary damages to

impose.

I'm loving it.

I know.

Well, you know what?

You bring on business bros onto Judge John Odman.

There's going to be some dollars and cents talked about.

I'm going to use a calculator.

$122.8 cents.

I'm going to need a yield curve on this judgment.

Rick, you didn't specify a charity, right?

Correct.

Yeah.

I'm not going to give you the money on the off chance.

that you're trolling all of us.

I've picked one charity

for us.

Now you pick one charity for Ken, unless you want Ken to be able to choose the charity.

Yeah, I want Ken to be able to choose.

Yeah, because I'm...

What are you going to give it to Troll Academy?

I have one in mind already, if that's okay.

Yeah, please.

What is it?

Yeah, the Hardstroke Foundation of Canada.

It's

very near and dear cause to my heart.

So yeah, that's the one I would choose.

I'll be very happy to donate.

And tell me a little bit more about that organization.

Well, they support, you know, people who have, you know, had horror stroke issues.

My mom had a stroke

several years ago.

And so it's, yeah, something that I really care about.

And I think it's a good cause.

I think that sounds great.

Ken, thank you very much.

And so I rule in Rick's favor.

This is the sound of a gavel.

How do you say gavel in French, do you think, Brian?

Yeah, Marteau.

Marteau.

Slam stuff.

And you know, I don't know if you ever, if you've ever read any of the comic strip adventures of Tantin, the boy adventurer.

Yeah, of course, my dad is a fanatic.

Oh, okay, very good.

All right, I guess I'm old.

But the point is,

in our country, when we express what a dog says, it says woof, woof,

or bark, bark.

But in Tintin, it always says, woah, woah.

What does a dog sound like in France to you?

Woof, woof, but I guess Tantin was from Belgium, so that explains a different accent.

What do you think a Marteau sounds like in France if you were to make an onomatopoeia of it?

Puff, buff.

Puff, puff.

That is the sound of the gavel.

Judge John Hodgman rules.

That is all.

Please rise as Judge John Hodgman exits the courtroom.

Rick, how do you feel about this verdict?

I feel good.

I think it's fair.

I'm excited about the two charities that they're going to benefit from it.

And

you know, I will also match that donation to Ken's charity of choice.

How are you feeling, Ken?

You know, I came in with very low expectations just because I feel like having come on the podcast and entertained this, I'd already lost.

But I'm happy with the outcome.

You know, I think it's great that we're going to give to some charities.

Unfortunately, I'm going to have to deal with Rick saying that he won for the rest of my life in the group chat,

which is going to be pretty rough.

But, you know, I think in the end,

it'll all have been worth it.

Bria,

basketball sensation, Victor Wenbanyama, when he was growing up in France, what were the rules of basketball there?

Woof, woof.

Ken, Rick, thank you for joining us on the Judge John Hodgman podcast.

Thank you guys.

Thank you all.

Another Judge John Hodgman case is in the books.

In a moment, we'll have Swift Justice.

Our thanks first to Redditor Professor Highbrow.

Professor Highbrow.

On brand.

Yeah.

On brand for naming this week's episode Full Court Press.

Join the conversation at the Maximum Fun Subreddit.

That's at maximumfun.reddit.com.

That's where we've been asking for title suggestions.

Evidence and photos from the show are posted on our Instagram account.

That's at instagram.com slash judgejohnhodgman.

Make sure to follow us there.

Judge John Hodgman was created by Jesse Thorne and John Hodgman.

Our engineers this week were Christian Williams at Bravo Ocean Studios in Atlanta, Max Fabian at Tightrope Recording in Chicago, and Joel Mann at WERU in Orland, Maine.

This week's episode, edited by Christian Duenez, our producer, Jennifer Marmer.

Now, Swift Justice, where we answer small disputes with quick judgment.

Barbara asks, is it pants leg or pant leg?

I say both are correct.

My husband insists only pants leg is right.

Well, I got to say, Jesse, I don't run a fine menswear website or online shop or blog.

So I don't know.

Is it pants leg or pant leg?

I think if you want to sound fancy, you're going to have to change pants to pant is in like, hey, that's a very fine pant.

In which case, pant leg is perfectly acceptable.

I wonder what the French translation is for pant leg.

It would be like jambes de pantalon, but I guess we have two legs, so maybe two of those.

The nice thing is that in French, you don't pronounce the final s.

No, we say um one leg, one leg by one leg, and um, unless we address the two legs, it's a different word,

which is a jambe plural

with an s that you don't pronounce.

Exactly.

Jean de Pantalon is the correct answer.

Put an S on the end of it if you want.

Hey, speaking of trolls, we're looking for online beefs.

What's the smallest thing you ever got into a dispute over on a social media, like a Reddit or a Twitter or a Metafilter or LinkedIn or whatever?

Do they have fights on LinkedIn?

I hope they do.

I bet the business school bros do.

Did you get justice?

Did you get into a spat with

a stranger and feel like you got the better side of it?

It almost never happens.

I'd love to hear it if you did.

Or did you, like the rest of us, just end up hating yourself?

Send in your online disputes that still haunt you and we will rule who is right and who is wrong.

And remember, the only troll that I support is Colbert writer Ariel Dumas, extremely funny person, no matter who employs her, when she goes on social media and just says, Zelda is the boy and just watches what happens.

Don't send me letters, but Zelda is the boy.

Hey, Jesse, are we looking for any other disputes or just online disputes only?

We'll take any dispute.

Think about the people you love in your life and what's wrong with them.

Then go to maximumfund.org slash jjho.

What they're wrong about.

Maybe.

It's right.

But what they're wrong about.

What are they, what are they, you know, people.

What are they wrong about?

Send it into maximumfund.org slash jjho.

I believe that that's the end of the episode.

Well, we'll have a post-credit sequence after we talk to you next time on the General.

No, that's a secret.

You weren't supposed to reveal that, Jesse.

Okay, stick around.

Don't leave the theater yet.

There is a post-credit sequence coming right up.

That's right.

It's the most magical time in Weird Dad podcasting.

It's the press minis.

What is that you ask?

Well, a few months ago in our episode Hot Tubular Non-Sandwich Beef, we had a letter from a man asking, is it okay to take leftovers home doggy bag style from a wedding, charity banquet, or bar mitzvah, anything like that?

And we told that man, no, no, and no, and never.

And the name of that man is Norman Pressman.

Now, normally we don't give last names out in this podcast, but in this case, we made an exception because Norman Pressman...

In his original letter to me said, it is okay for you to use my whole name.

And also, I have a blog.

Normally, we don't let people buzz market stuff, such as normpressman.com.

But in this case, we made an exception because I went to that website and it's fun.

If you go to normpressman.com, you will learn, as we did, that Norm Pressman is a 70-something-year-old retired attorney in the St.

Louis, Missouri area.

But like all of us, Norm is so much more than his job and his location.

A quick review of his about page shows that he has enjoyed, and this is a direct quote from his bio.

being a polite pain in the ass to hypocritical public figures for years.

My blog posts include tales from my legal career and the the people I've run across, plus comments on current happenings and religion.

I may also start a joke of the week page.

Significant events in Norm Pressman's life?

Well, just go to the about page under the title significant events, and you will learn that he was arrested in Chicago in 1969 during a Weatherman riot while taking pictures for a newspaper.

Picture on right.

It's a great photo.

He was harassed by Secret Service after writing a letter to President Nixon in protest of bombing of Cambodia.

He ran a local poker game and attended poker camp.

And he also was arrested for punching a neo-Nazi in the nose in the 60s, back before we were all talking about it recently.

With posts such as The Phillies Stink and So Do the Cardinals For Now,

and also The Supreme Court is taking more of our rights, and the recent gem, Judge John Hodgman, rules on my case, I thought normpressman.com was a shoe-in for Best Dad Blog of the Year, which was a category that I invented on the moment just for normpressman.com.

But then I realized there are so many weird dads out there who have got to be blogging, including me now that I have a substack, that we got to give some more dad blogs a shot.

So we asked you to nominate your favorite weird dads and moms and stepdads and stepmoms and fathers-in-law.

You know what I'm talking about?

We still have our French friend here, right, Bria?

Yes, I'm here.

And

I would say

I'm going to stay in good terms.

Right, okay, that's fine.

But maybe, Joel, your daughter can nominate your Instagram page, which is

the main man.

She's entirely responsible for that page.

She's responsible for it.

Okay, so you're not in the running, unfortunately.

This has to be internet content, whether it's a blog or a YouTube channel or some other social media feed, where an older, beloved person in your life, be it a dad, a mom, a godparent, an in-law, an aunt, an uncle, a family friend, a former boss, is putting out content out there that is just so charming and adorable and interesting or provocative, but not in the wrong way, that you want the world to know about it.

That's what we were looking for.

So we asked for nominees and you responded.

And I hope you will continue to respond and nominate more because at the end of the year, we're going to announce the very first dad blog of the year.

Today, our first nominee comes from listener Kat.

Kat writes, my dad Drew has been posting top-tier dad content on YouTube for years.

A lot of his videos relate to his job as a filmmaker, but he also has a series of videos about about moving to Norway with my stepmom, his experiment with attaching a GoPro on his Roomba-style robotic lawn sprinkler, and most notably, the annual time-lapse video of him building the yearly Christmas model train set.

He builds a whole model train set in his basement.

It takes hours and hours.

And I'm not just talking about putting the tracks together, Joel.

I'm talking about

everything, you know, landscape and stuff.

It's a lot of work.

It's a lot of work.

He does a time-lapse.

Every year he does this.

And 2018, guess how how many views he got on his youtube video for this 200 000 exactly how did you know that

geez

that's incredible 200 000 on the nose yeah it's just some

just some weird dad energy i'm saying this as a weird dad yeah you are a weird dad i am a weird dad right Kat goes on to say, he's a great dad and currently in Norway for grad school studying something that is too complex for me to remember.

Great daughter.

And as you can imagine, all of our childhood home movies were wonderful and incredibly overproduced.

He would do things like have me and my siblings sit on a bench eating ice cream while he went across the street to get wide shots and b-roll.

I hope you will consider him for Weird Dad Blog of the Year.

P.S.

My Dad and Mom Met While Working on Bill Nye the Science Guy.

Wow.

Joel, I got to tell you the story.

Not today, maybe in the next one or another Dad Blog of the Year.

Yeah.

Tell you the story about how Bill Nye low-key bullied me

into trying to get me to buy a cast iron uh waffle pan he trolled you no no not trolled not troll i'm not going to tell you the story now this is a tea okay it was at a wedding he happened to be at a wedding and i was telling him about this cast iron waffle pan and he tried to bully me into buying it i'll tell you that story he's a great guy just a little bit of a low-key bully when it comes to cast iron pans Brie, I know you want to stay out of this, but you, the listener, can also nominate your dad, your mom, your stepuncle, your godparent, or whatever.

Just go to maximumfund.org slash dad blogs.

It's linked also on all of our socials.

And if you're a member of Maximum Fund, first of all, thank you.

And then you can go and vote on the weird dad blog of the year there as well.

We'll be setting up voting and your vote will decide who wins.

Dad Blog of the Year.

Going forward, the Dad Blog of the Year contest will be released in the members only feed.

So if you'd like to become a member, go to maximumfund.org slash join.

That's maximumfund.org slash dad blogs.

If you're a member, you can vote.

You can nominate even if you're not a member.

And if you'd like to become a member, thank you.

Maximumfund.org slash join.

And if supporting Maximum Fund is not reward enough for you, please let me tell you that next time,

and this is true, Joel, after we talked about Norm Pressman getting arrested for punching a neo-Nazi, I got a letter from a listener named Charles who said that he had transcripts of Norm Pressman's interrogation by the FBI.

Wow.

Yeah.

Wow.

And that's for real.

And he sent them to me, and we're going to read from them.

Okay.

And also, we'll learn about Mia's father-in-law's vlog, which is called Uncle Ron and Stuff.

So if you want to follow along, just go over to maximumfund.org/slash dad blogs.

And then if you become a member, look for it in your bonus content feed on maximumfund.org.

That's it.

Au revlog, Joel.

Later.

Au revoir, Brie.

Au voir.

Very good.

Tré bien.

We did it.

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