D...K FOG and Many Lessons Learned

So I decided to do a solo episode for this week.

It's been a little while.

And I wanted to talk about this dating story that has been happening in my life on and off.

And nothing happened for a while.

And then we had some major developments this past weekend.

And every time something happens to me, I try to learn a few things from it.

So I want to share everything with you guys because hopefully from my mistakes, we can all learn something and you guys don't have to make the same mistakes.

And it's definitely,

I don't know if I'm going to say crazy, but it's one of those dating stories that, you know, kind of hurt you a little bit, give you a little bit of heartbreak and make you think like, what was I thinking?

Didn't I not learn anything else from the past?

But pretty interesting stuff.

And by the way, this is going to be an X-rated episode.

If you're not comfortable talking about sex and hearing X-rated words, you're welcome to leave now or stay and enjoy it and normalize girls talking about sex, which should be a super important part of our lives and our relationships.

But first, let's talk about something so important to a lot of us, the quality of our sleep.

And I know the topic of sleep divorce has been all over the media lately when couples who still love each other decide to sleep in separate bedrooms because they cannot agree in the conditions of the sleep in their own bedroom.

I met this incredible couple, DJ and James, who loved to fall asleep snuggled under the same blanket.

But DJ was going through perimenopause and she was always waking up feeling super hot in the middle of the night.

So one morning she woke up and she was like, what if her comforter had windows?

And they created the most incredible luxury brand of comforters called Sleeping Dove with naturally cooling windows that you can open or close depending on the temperature needs.

So everyone can sleep well together.

Even single people, such as myself, that sleep with my pets.

Sometimes they make me feel super hot because they're all over me.

In the middle of the night, I just flap my window open, and that's it.

I invite you guys to check it out.

The quality is absolutely incredible.

Sleeping Dove, it's much more than a product.

It's a love story, a wellness tool, and a reminder that comfort should feel both beautiful, personal, and shared.

Sleepingdove.com and on Instagram, SleepingDoveHome.

Okay, so here we go.

Last year, I was dating someone for several months exclusively, and I actually did a very interesting episode about this relationship, why we broke up, and his very bizarre, oftentimes disrespectful behavior.

Back in May, I brought in one of my favorite relationship experts in the world, Nicole Moore, and we did an amazing episode about it.

So if you have not listened to that episode, Lamborghinis, Lingerie's and Candles from May, go back now and listen.

But anyways, I was dating this guy.

We broke up literally two, three days before New Year's.

And that was that.

However, when I was dating him, and the details are all on

the other episode, the Lamborghini episode.

But as I was dating, this was a guy that didn't really have a social life, didn't have any friends, didn't really know a lot of people.

He claimed that while he was married for a long time, him and his wife didn't really have a social life, didn't really have friends, didn't do anything.

So, in order to make him feel better about himself and in order to make him feel included, I introduced him to a group that I love very much of friends.

Not only are they my friends, but they're also my clients.

For those of you who don't know, I own a PR marketing and branding agency.

One of my clients is this ultra high-end members-only social club.

All the owners have expensive cars like Lamborghinis, Ferraris, Porsche's, and they organize the most incredible events.

So, when I was dating this guy last year, I introduced him to the group.

I asked my friend, the owner of the group, to welcome him.

And he went to an event.

He loved it.

And I encouraged him to buy his own Lamborghini because he always mentioned to me that he always loved cars.

His best memories were when his dad had a Ferrari.

Him and his daddy were driving the Ferrari around Switzerland.

So anyway, this whole thing about becoming a member of this car club and buying the Lomborgini was, so we had the special project together.

You guys are going to understand why this is relevant to what's happening now.

So we broke up a few days after New Year's.

And I kind of went on with my life and he went on with his life.

And then towards the end of February, this club had a major event here in LA and I went and he was there.

I confess I was shaken up when I saw him.

Like, you know, when you see an ex and you're wondering, like, you know, I really liked this person.

We had so much in common, the same lifestyle.

We liked the same thing, the same restaurants, the same places, great conversation, really, really good chemistry, great, great sex that was getting better and better and better.

So it made me wonder.

Anyway, right after the event, he texted me and he said, oh, it was so nice to see you there.

You look great.

And I said, Well, you know, let me know if you want to go grab coffee.

So we ended up at the very end of March going to a coffee shop and we sat down for coffee.

We rehashed all the issues as to why we had broken up.

And again, guys, go listen to the Lamborghini episode.

But obviously, you know, the holidays are usually a time of severe stress for most people.

And to me, it was no different.

I was going through a lot.

I was going through a lot of issues at work.

I was going through a lot of issues with my sister,

who is my only relative alive, my sister and my nephew.

So I was definitely not in the best headspace.

I completely agreed with him.

We were going through a lot of stress.

But anyways, we talked.

And at one point, I said, you know, I really miss us.

I really miss you.

And he said, me too.

I really, really miss you.

And when we left the coffee shop, he gave me like this amazing hug.

And then when I got home, he sent me a message.

It was so nice to see you.

You look amazing, by the way.

And I feel the same way.

And I said, well, then why don't we just go on one of our amazing dates, forget everything that happened last year and just, you know, start fresh.

And he said to me.

that he was going through some very tough things at work because he is not an entrepreneur, by the way.

He has a job.

He makes a lot of money, a fantastic seller, but has a job.

And he had literally just been promoted.

So he was like, I just need a little time because you deserve so much.

I wouldn't be able to give enough time for this relationship.

Just give me a little time.

And that was that.

So that was the very end of March.

Okay, so obviously I went on with my life, but this is now where the story is going to get spicy for this episode.

Okay.

And all the lessons that we should learn from it, from my mistakes.

I went on with my life, but I don't like casual dating.

I've done that in the past many times, especially after I got divorced.

Nowadays, I totally changed the way I approach dating and how I think about dating and about myself.

Why?

Because nowadays, I'm definitely dating with the intention of finding the right partner for me.

I don't like doing casual sex.

I think sex is a massive transfer of energy.

And I'm just not interested in having that kind of intimate relationship with somebody that I'm not in a relationship with because the mental connection is also a huge part for me.

So, when we broke up a few days before New Year's, I remember I said to myself, you know what?

I'm going to do one of the things that I always preach on the podcast on Canon de Luz.

I'm going to go on a man diet.

What is a man diet?

For those of you guys who are new to Canon Luz, a man diet is when you take a massive long break, sometimes three months, sometimes six months, whatever you feel it takes, but you take a really nice long break from dating, all the dating apps, all the stress and you focus exclusively on yourself whatever it is that's important to you like self-care getting in better shape working harder working on side projects and normally when you do that it's a fantastic reset because of course you have so much more time and so much more energy to give yourself everything in your personal life flourishes right and that's exactly what happened to me all the way from new year's until now

I went maybe on two dates, I think.

I have not had sex with anybody ever since him.

And I'm actually proud of that.

And a lot of my

intimate friends ask me, but what do you mean?

You're such a sexual person, you love sex.

And yes, this is the longest in my life I've been without sex.

And I definitely miss it.

But I want to have sex with the right person.

I use vibrators, of course.

I love my vibrators, but I definitely miss having sex with someone.

I just want to have sex with my man, the man, not just any man for the fuck of it, you know?

So anyways, all these months, I'm focusing on myself.

I went to Europe.

I had a movie at the Ken Film Festival.

I decided to give myself a little vacation.

I went to Monica.

I went to Paris.

I had an amazing time.

I came back.

All of this time, I'm focusing on myself and thinking about myself.

But of course, every now and again, I thought about him.

And I'm thinking, let's call him John.

I'm thinking, like, you know, I wonder how John is doing, even when I was in Europe, because we have very similar tastes.

Like, we are the kind of people that really appreciate a fancy bar and live music and a great glass of wine.

And I remember when I was sitting in Monaco with a group of friends, one of my friends said to me, oh my God, very few people in the world appreciate moments like this.

And I remember immediately thinking about him.

So yes, I admit I was thinking about this dude back and forth, wondering, should we give each other another chance?

Now that things are so much more chill than the holidays, I definitely miss our sex.

What should we do?

But I kept living.

Finally, this past weekend, the car club was going to have a massive event here in LA Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

And I knew I was going to see him because we have a group for everybody from the car club.

So Friday night, they threw this fabulous cocktail party at a beautiful, beautiful mansion they rented out in Beverly Hills.

And he wasn't there.

And I was relieved because I kept thinking like, oh my God, you know, I don't know if I'm ready to see him.

I don't know how I feel about this.

This is so uncomfortable.

But Saturday, I saw him early in the morning.

There was a breakfast before the car, all the cars do like a rally.

There was a breakfast.

And he arrives.

And I was talking to some girl and he came and he gives me a hug like, hi, Kat, how are you doing?

I said, I'm doing great.

How are you?

And then after breakfast, as the cars were leaving to the rally, I wasn't going to the rally.

I was going to wait because I don't drive a car.

I was always the passenger in his car.

And I didn't want to ask my other friends from the group, hey, can I come with you in your car?

So I thought, you know what?

I'm just going to go for the breakfast.

I'm going to go home, take care of my life, my dogs, and I'm going to meet everybody at this restaurant in West Hollywood, fabulous restaurant, by the way, called Amoch, Amur Love.

If you guys are ever in the West Hollywood area, they're not paying me to say this.

I highly recommend it.

It's adorable, romantic.

The food is fabulous.

So anyways, I thought I'm going to go to Amur and I'm going to meet everybody there.

So as the cars are leaving the parking lot from the breakfast, I started getting sad because I see his car is empty.

He didn't bring a date, thank God, because it would have been awfully humiliating to me since I introduced him to the group.

But I see his car empty and I started having all these memories like, oh my God, this was supposed to be such an incredible project for us.

It was something that we both enjoyed so much.

We were so excited about it.

It made me sad.

So I went home and I took a shower and I got dressed and I put like the cutest little pink summer dress.

And all the time that I'm doing this, of course, I was thinking about him.

So when he arrives for lunch, I was like standing near the bar of the restaurant talking to someone.

And he's like, hi, Kat.

And I'm like, hi, how was the drive?

No, no, no.

And he's buying himself a drink at the bar.

And he looks at me.

He's like, do you want a drink?

And my initial

instinct, I wanted to say, yes, I want to have a drink with you.

But I was like, no, thanks.

I'm working.

These are my clients.

And then that was it.

And then he sat at the table and he had lunch.

And I left a little while after that.

And I didn't see him anymore.

And at night, everybody went to another restaurant in West Hollywood, which is a restaurant slash lounge for dinner.

And I stopped by really quickly because I had something else to do after that.

And he wasn't there.

And I had two drinks, which is very rare for me.

And I sent him a message like, it was so nice to see you today.

And yes, I confess that, you know, when I see you, I do get shaken up.

And it made me so sad today.

Because I was remembering that all these moments, all of these things were things that we were doing together.

They were supposed to be this great project for us.

And it really just made me so sad at the end of the day.

And a little while later, he responds the message.

Now that's where the story starts.

He sends me a message like, hey, Kat, it was really nice to see you today as well.

I am so grateful that you open up this world to me, that I'm a part of this group.

And I also think about all the memories and everything.

But

now listen to this carefully, guys.

He was like, but

I have been dating someone since April.

Now, here's the caveat, right?

We had the coffee and the conversation about how we missed each other and everything.

And I said, let's go on a date at the very, very end of March.

So he sends me this message telling me he started dating someone in April.

Like basically he turned around from our conversation and went to date someone.

And I'm like, what?

Like, what's going on?

Are you dating someone since April?

And he's like, oh yeah, by the way, it's not someone I met on dating apps.

It's someone I knew since last year.

But last year, she was dating other men, men, plural, M-E-N.

And now we've been going out.

And I don't know what's going to happen in the future.

But of course, I would never date two women and you are so special, blah, blah, blah.

So I start like thinking and processing.

Like I literally spent so many hours last night awake because I'm like processing what he's saying to me.

I'm like, what?

Wait a minute.

He tells me he's dating, he basically turned around from telling me he missed me, that he really wanted to be with me, that the feeling was mutual, that he missed our sex, to dating someone that he knew since last year, except that last year is when he came after me

and told me I was the woman he wanted to date.

He was sure of it, and we started dating in September.

So I was thinking like, okay, so everything was a lie because you are telling me this woman was dating other men.

So were you in line to date this woman?

I was kind of like a plan B or something.

I felt so hurt.

I felt so offended.

And now this is the first note to self rewinding the story.

When we first connected, it was through the app Hinge.

more than a year ago in January of 2024.

So when we connected on Hinge, we started talking and he told me he was married for a really long time and he was going through a divorce, that it was not final yet.

And I said to him, well, I'm sorry, I'm sure you're a really nice guy, but I refuse to go out with guys who are going through a divorce because I've done that in the past.

I know it's a horrible idea.

That's the first lesson.

And I swear to God, guys, you're going to save yourselves a lot of heartbreak if you listen to me because I've done that in the past.

And pretty much every guy going through a divorce or who has been divorced just a little while ago, they will tell you, oh, no, I'm ready for another relationship.

This is what I want.

But 99.9% of the guys who are going through a divorce or are fresh out of a divorce are not ready for a new relationship.

And they will play the field and they will scroll the dating apps and they will act like immature teenagers.

And I said that to him and I said, I don't want to go through this again.

No way.

Have a great life.

Good luck with your divorce.

I hung up and I didn't even save his number.

I thought, that's it.

I'm never going to hear from this guy ever again.

Fast forward many, many, many months to like August of last year,

out of the blue, he texts me one day.

Hey, Kat, do you remember me?

This is John.

I'm like, who?

And then he sends me a picture and he sends me his LinkedIn again.

It's like we connected on Hinge and I never forgot about you.

You were the woman I wanted to date.

And I put a note on my calendar when I was done with the divorce, when I went through everything I wanted to go through, when I was ready for a relationship, I was going to come after you.

And I was like, wow, really?

Let's do a video call.

He was like, no, I know what you look like.

We already talked.

You were the woman I want to date.

Let me take you to dinner.

And he was so assured of what he wanted.

He was so certain.

And I love men who act like that, right?

Like they know what they want.

I was like, okay, sure, let's go to dinner.

So this is the number one mistake I made.

I ignored the first instincts.

My very first instincts told me, don't go out with this guy.

Right there and then, I should have killed it.

I shouldn't have let him convince me.

Usually,

our gut, right?

The very first instinct when we chat with someone, when we do a video call, when we talk to someone, more often than not, it will translate to being the right instinct.

And I didn't listen to my gut.

And I went to the first dinner.

And the first dinner was kind of weird as well.

I didn't think he was my type.

I thought he was a little too formal.

I was like, you know what?

Thank you.

But the conversation was great, but I wasn't sure if we were going to have chemistry.

I was definitely on the fence about it.

And I was like, thank you for the great dinner.

Bye.

Again, I didn't even think I was going to see him again.

And again, he came after me so strong, like, I really like you.

You're amazing.

Please let me take you on another dinner.

And he booked another restaurant.

Because by the way, we both live in Beverly Hills.

We both love Beverly Hills.

We both love the same restaurants.

We have the same lifestyle.

So he books another restaurant that was one of my favorites.

And I remember the day of the second date, I was like, like, oh my God, should I cancel?

I don't feel great.

I didn't have a good, great day, you know, when you're stressed at work and stuff.

But then I thought, no, I'm not going to do this to him last minute.

He's such a nice guy.

And when I went to the dinner and his smile was so captivating,

he made me feel so much better.

I really enjoyed the dinner.

It was so romantic.

He brought me like a tiny little piece of chocolate candy.

It was just amazing.

And I really enjoyed it.

And from that, we went on date after date after date after date and started dating and started dating exclusively.

But yesterday, when he said that to me about this woman, he's like, I'm dating a woman that I knew since last year, but last year she was not available.

She was dating other men.

I started thinking, what the fuck is this?

So what was going on?

Was everything he said to me a lie?

Was he dating me because this woman wasn't available yet?

Did he start fucking up our relationship on purpose?

Because he wanted to break up?

Like all these millions of thoughts started coming to my head.

And then I thought, you know, it doesn't even matter what it is.

Just the fact that we met in March and we said those things to each other and he turned around.

Like literally whatever, one, two, three days later, and he connected with someone else and started dating her without sending me a message, without saying, you know what, I changed my mind.

It shows shows a lot about his character, right?

And he knew I'm very likely sitting here wondering and thinking about what's going on.

So yesterday,

I thought, okay, I should have listened to my initial

feeling, initial gut.

And I was like, I cannot believe it.

Okay, let's do this little pity party.

I literally needed to stop.

I obviously disrupted my weekend.

I was supposed to have gone and done work yesterday again with this car group, and I didn't.

I stayed home.

I was feeling feeling really bad for myself.

I was feeling so disappointed.

I was feeling so hurt.

But this is lesson number two.

Whatever a man does to you, doesn't matter if they cheated on you, if they break your heart, if they did what this guy played you, like I think this guy played me, whatever it is, cry, feel bad, talk to a friend, vent, have your ice cream, do whatever you need to do.

But it's really, really important to make it short and sweet and move on.

I actually just did a video about that on my Instagram yesterday.

Don't let any heartbreak.

No man in the world deserves you moping around for many, many, many days and saying, you know what, I'm never going to date anybody.

I'm never going to trust anybody.

This person ruined it for me.

Don't let them win the game because there's nothing better to cure heartbreak or to cure something bad that somebody did to you than opening up your heart again to love and new possibilities.

So, today I'm still healing, but I woke up super early.

I went on with my routine, I walked my dogs, I exercise, I worked all day.

Now it's late at night, and I'm doing this episode.

And I'm like, you know what?

He doesn't deserve me.

He didn't deserve me to put him, include him in so much of my life in this car club, which was the most amazing group of people, amazing group of my friends, which, by the way, when you guys listen to the Lamborghini episode, he had already disrespected me at the end of our relationship in front of this group.

It's a big part of the story that I told in the other episode.

So, when I started putting all the stage together, like this guy never respected you, he never cared for you.

He probably played you.

It was obviously everything was a big joke.

I'm not going to sit at home feeling bad for myself.

Time to move on, new horizons.

I know the right person for me is out there trying to find me.

So, please promise me: no matter what is going on with you, you are strong enough to move forward and let the right person find you.

But then last night, as I was sitting on my bed and I couldn't sleep and I was thinking about all of that, like,

is he really dating this woman?

I mean, why did he do this to me?

Why didn't he tell me?

I started questioning myself because I was remembering.

the way he treated me during the holidays.

He was so cold

and he would take me on these amazing dates.

And then there was the whole story about the candle.

I swear to God, if you guys didn't listen to the episode Lamb Borgini's Lingerie and Kansas, you have to go listen because everything is going to make sense to you.

But I started remembering all that shit and I was asking myself, why was I debating going back?

Why was I debating going back to someone who already proved to me that

He didn't treat me with the way I deserve to be treated?

He disrespected me in front of my group of friends.

We broke up.

I was moving on with my life.

why was i so shaken up thinking about i want to be with him again so i came up with this theory i was like i think it's dick fog

what is dick fog you know like brain fog i thought i think this is dick fog it's like when you

go without sex or without a great delicious dick for so long that you start thinking about the previous delicious dick, like in my case, this guy, and your brain is so fogged up that you forget the person attached to the dick is an asshole and you shouldn't go back to them and they don't deserve you.

So I was thinking to myself last night, you know what?

It must be dick fog.

Because if I were in my right state of dick mind, I would not be trying.

to say, oh, you know, let's go on a date.

Oh, I was shaken up.

I would have moved on.

So I'm thinking that I know better, that I know this is not the right person for me for many, many, many reasons that I put on the Lamborghini episode.

And now that I find out that this dude deliberately sends, and he knew it was going to hurt me, by the way, when he tells me I'm dating a woman since April, he knew it was going to sting because he saw me a few days before.

And I said, you know, let's go on a date.

And then when he mentioned, I knew this woman from last year, but she was unavailable dating other men, He knew it was going to hurt me because what is the message?

What is the underlining?

It is, well, she was not available.

Otherwise, I would have dated her.

So I was thinking, this guy was like deliberately hurting me.

And I was nothing but nice to him, inclusive of him.

I opened up so many doors and new horizons, put him in this group of friends.

He has to be the freaking.

dick fog in my right mind.

So there is no way in the world I would be thinking about giving this dude another chance and that's another thing that that we have to be careful if you're getting the same vibes if you're getting dick fog fog for your ex

this is what i recommend if you're one of those girls that like booty calls that you like just sex for a second go for it because i'm not going to judge anyone but if you're not if you're like me i swear to god it really really helps First of all, I hope to God you have a fantastic vibrator.

Every woman in the world should have at least one fantastic vibrator because the days that you're like really really craving that dick a delicious vibrator a little bit of porn whatever turns you on will give you some fantastic orgasms and it will relieve the the dick fog i swear to god and to this day it shocks me how many women don't use vibrators don't have vibrators you should not have to wait for the next delicious dick of your life to give yourself pleasure and get rid of any kind of dick fog.

I personally think it's a million times better to have a great night with your vibrator than going back to an ex that doesn't deserve you because I really believe, and I said that at the beginning, sex is such an exchange of energy.

And I said that to him when we were having coffee at the end of February.

I actually had that to him, I said, I haven't had sex with anybody because I think my body is a treasure.

I really, really respect my body and who has access to it.

And I just wait for the right man to be my man.

I'm not going to go and have casual sex with people.

So, anyway, I think that's what I was going through.

I was going through,

you know, major, major dick fog.

And another thing that I think I did wrong, and it's interesting because this weekend, one of the girls from this car club, we were talking about this guy, my ex, and I told her I was the one that introduced him to the club.

I introduced him to everyone, and it's actually my group of friends.

She said to me, oh my God, I made this mistake before.

We should never try to elevate a man, to make them feel better about their lives and include them in our universe, in our groups, in things that are important to us.

at the very beginning when we don't know them very well.

And I could not agree with her more.

I was literally dating him for two months and I felt so bad for him.

Oh, you don't have friends.

Let's do this.

Oh, you don't know.

And I didn't know him well enough.

And now he's more a part of the group than me.

And I completely agree with this girl.

So I think that's another lesson that we can all learn from this chaos.

If you meet someone and they have issues, like if they don't have friends, and you have a lot of friends, or if they're depressed at home, whatever it is that they're going through, they need to fix it on their own.

Don't be this fixer-upper, because at the end of the day, it could backfire like it backfired to me.

And they can start feeling like the last Coca-Cola zero of the desert with ice under an umbrella and say you know what why the fuck do i need her and i feel in many ways this is what happened with this guy like because when he met me he was like

alonely at home no friends no lamborghini no shit i gave him fantastic sex i made him feel incredible i always show up hot as hell for all the dates i convince him get your lamborghini so you fulfill your dream of having a fabulous car get him accepted to this car club.

I really believe towards the end, he was like fucking everything up.

Like, why do I need her for?

So we can definitely, definitely backfire if we try to do that for a guy.

And continuing with the lessons, as I mentioned on this episode and a big part of the Lamborghini episode, he disrespected me because he flirted with a girl from our group back then when I was dating him.

And I think to me, this is a really big lesson.

And I have made these mistakes before, and I'm surprised I made this mistake again.

If somebody does something to you while you're dating them that makes you feel disrespected, that makes you feel uncomfortable, if their behavior is inappropriate in any way, shape, or form, that's it.

There is no point in giving them another chance because very likely they are going to do it again because you're giving them a pass.

The way we let people treat us is the way they're going to treat us.

And I think,

and everybody pretty much that listened to the Lamborghini episode agreed with me and all my friends, they said, you know, that should have been it right there and then, you know, when that guy disrespected you, it was the Christmas holiday party.

We were all so happy.

And I saw how the other couples, of course, they're married couples.

There are couples that the guy was dating the girl.

I saw how they were treating their dates.

And I was the only one that was disrespected like that.

When someone disrespects you like that,

you shouldn't give them another chance.

You shouldn't go a few months later and say, you know what, they're never going to do it again, because very, very likely they will.

So we need to set our boundaries as to how we want to be treated and what is acceptable and what is not acceptable.

At the end of the day, I have this theory

that I learned a long time ago with someone that I really cared about that actually passed away.

And I remember he said to me, This is the way we should look at people, like someone that you just met or someone that you're starting a relationship with.

It's called the credit card theory.

Think about when a bank gives you a credit card, right?

They don't give you a credit card like, oh, unlimited credit.

Usually they give a credit card like, let's say, a $5,000 credit limit, $2,000 credit limit.

And as your relationship progresses, if you respect that amount of credit that they give you, they increase that credit more and more and more, right?

If you abuse it, they take the credit away from you, correct?

and with people it should be the same thing when you meet someone you give them a little bit of credit you don't give them like the whole bank vault you trust them in in increments and the only way to know if you can trust them is by giving them credit if they respect that credit that you are giving them you give them more and more and more and that's how you build a really solid relationship now if they it up and disrespect the credit you're giving them like this guy did to me back when we were dating by flirting with a woman in the middle of the event that's it you know okay this guy has new credit he's not like a client, long-term client, so to speak, right?

He's a new, has new credit and he already disrespected it.

Why would I give him even more credit to disrespect it even more?

So I think this is a great analogy to figure out

how we go baby steps with someone that we just started dating.

And of course, everything in life is insight, right?

We cannot go back and rewind the tape.

I think this was a really big lesson for me because when we broke up like two days before New Year's, I was really sad because of course the timing was super tough.

And I ended up spending New Year's like really quiet reassessing my life and reassessing my goals for 2025.

And I started the year full power on, all my projects flourishing, my agency doing super well, the podcast getting bigger and bigger.

We are this beautiful, incredible worldwide community.

And I've been minding my own business, getting in great shape, all the stuff that I like to do.

And I am annoyed at myself that after all these months, I let this guy get under my skin.

I guess, same thing.

Why did I even go have coffee with him at the end of March?

Why did I open myself up,

like I just said, for more line of credit with someone that had already ruined his credit with me?

I just opened myself up for more shit.

And it's exactly what I got because this weekend was a really important work weekend for me.

And I should have been peaceful and relaxed and working and enjoying myself.

And this information that he gave me totally threw me off the loop, made me upset, made me stressed, made me confused.

Of course, he made me feel like shit that he said he's dating someone he knew since last year, like he was in fucking line to date this woman.

But at the end of the day, it's my fault because if we don't put boundaries regarding how people treat us, yeah, of course, they're going to cross the boundaries over and over again.

I have no idea why he said the things he said to me, like, I guess, to hurt me.

I have no idea why, because I was nothing but nice to this guy, but it honestly doesn't matter.

Everything should be an amazing, amazing lesson to us.

So now I am ready after this episode that I'm venting here with you guys, so we can all learn something together.

I am 1 million percent ready to continue my goal of finding the right person for me.

Of course, I'm going to go on more dates because, like I told you guys, please never close your heart for love because if you close your heart for love, all the assholes win the game.

Keep going, keep believing, because the right person for us is also trying to find us.

So, we need to give that person the right chance.

I hope you guys have the most amazing week.

I love you so, so much.

Thank you for listening.

Thank you for the amazing comments.

If you like it, please share with your friends so our community keeps growing.

If you have incredible stories that you want to share, remember we have open lines of communication for you guys via WhatsApp 1-305-332-0338, via email contact at catontheloose.com.

If you want to make a comment about this episode, if you want to share something that somebody did to you, it might become a story on the podcast.

This community is for us so we can all learn how to date better, have better relationships, and most importantly, self-love and self-care.

I love you guys so much, and I'll see you again very soon.

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