THE HIGH VALUE MANUAL

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Hi, guys.

So, before today's episode about what it means to be a high-value person, a high-value partner, the quick usual disclaimer for those of you who are new to Cat on the Loose and our worldwide super fast-growing Cat Kingdom.

This podcast is not like the other podcasts you're used to listening to.

This is a very, very organic podcast.

It's never ever edited, no matter what happens.

it's never scripted.

Why?

Because that's my vibe.

I just talk, I interview my guests.

If it's like today, the episode I'm doing by myself, I write down my notes, everything that I learned from doing the podcast for a little over three years, and then I put it together, and that's it.

It's really a conversation the same way we talk in the real world.

So, if you like the more perfect can the studio podcast, this may not be for you.

Sometimes, Phoenix, my dog, barks, Sometimes there are noises from the real world.

If you listen to the past episodes, most of the time I interview my guests in their homes, restaurants, bars, events.

I go out on the streets.

I talk to people.

Very rarely I am on a studio like today.

But if you do like super honest, completely raw, very real conversations.

So we all learn together because I keep saying I'm not an expert by any means.

I'm just a girl that was married for a long time, trying to find the right person for me again, trying to find love for me again.

And the podcast has been a journey of self-discovery, learning how to date better, learning how to not make the same mistakes again.

And we're all in this together.

If you like that kind of stuff, I hope you enjoy.

Then welcome to our community where we can speak freely about sex, dating, and relationships.

And I always read every single one of your messages.

I take everything into consideration.

And that's how I put the episodes together.

And the past few months, there is so much talk about high value, high value, high value.

i started looking back i compiled a list of what i think based on all the expert opinions my guests comments messages etc etc etc what being a high value partner means you might be surprised maybe you think you are and you're not

and so don't take this episode as like an attack on anyone on yourself Take this episode as a quiz.

You basically need to answer yes, yes, yes, yes to every one of these questions and make sure you are following the dedicator.

What is the dedicat?

It's the dating etiquette guide because

some people are high value, they are amazing, but they keep making this horrible, horrible, rude, rude mistakes and behavior.

Towards someone they're dating.

It has happened to me many times.

I will tell you guys very clear examples and stories that happened to me and some of my friends.

So, if you're out there listening and you feel like, oops, maybe that's me, this is a good wake-up call to change and become a better dater, a better partner, a better boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, whatever you want to call yourself.

So, this is really for self-reflection so we can figure out how to do everything better.

I hope you guys enjoy it.

Keep sending me your messages.

I love you very much.

Okay, so here we go.

What does it mean to be high value?

A lot of people,

especially men, funny enough, think, oh, I have money.

I am successful.

I'm high value.

So I deserve to be dating a supermodel.

But guess what?

Having money and success is just one chunk.

that makes someone high value.

So guys, if you are listening, I hope you listen all the way to the end.

And remember, you need to check all of these boxes to consider yourself a high-value partner.

There are a lot of guys out there that have a ton of money, but they are total douche lords because they don't check any of the other boxes.

So, let's talk about the very first one.

A high-value woman, a high-value man,

is an educated person,

is a person that is constantly educating themselves.

What do I mean by that?

It doesn't have to be a form of education, like, oh, yeah, I have a college degree, but it means

in the morning, for example, you go over the latest news, the latest headlines, you are interested in traveling, you are interested in knowing at least the basic of the basic of the basic of what's going on.

And I will say that for a lot of women, you girls, the same way that a lot of guys that have a lot of money say, Oh, I'm high value, a lot of really pretty girls, oh my god, here in LA, there's like a dozens on every corner, like, oh, I'm so pretty, I am so high-value, I deserve a millionaire husband.

Guess what?

If you are dumb up here in your head, if you don't follow at least the basic of the basic of what's going on, if you never go anywhere, if you never travel anywhere, if you don't know anything about any culture, you are not high value at all.

Same thing, beauty is just one component of being high value.

So please remember that.

And again, don't take this as a personal offense.

Take this as a quiz for self-improvement.

I do that all the time.

I am constantly checking all of these categories that I'm talking about.

And I ask myself, am I really doing that?

Or is there an area for improvement?

I promise you.

The more you're up to date in the latest news, headlines, the world, travels, what's going on, cultural events, the more interesting and sexy you will be for a high-value partner.

Of course, we're all binge on reality TV, some crap stuff like that, but in general, you need to know what's going on.

Don't be freaking clueless.

No high-value person in the world wants to date a clueless person.

It doesn't matter how rich you are.

It doesn't matter how beautiful you are maybe have like a one-eyed stand quick sex blah blah blah but we are talking here about finding a high value partner for life

so please i don't care if you love the housewives if you love bravo if you love whatever the hell you like to watch make sure you read google stuff if you don't know anything about it nowadays there is very little excuse right you can google it right away watch the news even when you're at the gym for 10 15 minutes try to figure out what's going on.

That will make you a much more powerful, sexier, high-value partner.

And another thing I want to mention that I see all the time that it makes me cringe.

You don't have to be a professional journalist, but honestly, if you don't know how to write properly, get help from someone who does.

Get help from an AI.

Get help from Grammarly.

Get help from a friend.

Please stop sending shit with 10 million mistakes.

It makes you look dumb.

It makes you look stupid.

And most of all, it makes you look lazy.

And I'm saying that I see that not just from messages like people send me on the podcast.

I own an agency.

I do creative services.

I do social media management.

I do branding.

I do content creation.

I do marketing.

I do PR.

I do all kinds of materials related to my clients' images.

And I see business owners sending emails with a million mistakes.

I see guys writing their profiles.

They don't know the difference between your and you are welcome.

If you don't know these basic things, ask for help because nothing is classier and nicer than a person that knows how to express themselves properly.

And yes, writing properly is a big, big, big part of it.

So please, when I say educate yourself, let's do the very, very basic.

Because even if you're having great sex with someone, even if you're gorgeous, all the other hours of the day that we are not, guess what?

If you are a high-value person, you want to have a partner that you can talk to, that you can take to business events, that you can introduce to your friends and family, and you know nothing crazy, stupid is going to come out of their mouth.

The next one is so important, and we rarely even talk about it nowadays anymore: Manners, social manners.

Any high-value person is definitely going to have their manners on point.

So you should learn the basics no matter how simple your background is.

I know so many self-made millionaires, so many people that come from simple backgrounds that make sure they educate themselves on the basics.

And I'm not saying you should go to finishing school, although that's probably a great idea for a lot of people out there.

But I'm saying you can definitely learn how to behave properly with a date, with someone else, in public.

Basic things.

You're probably asking, what do you mean?

What do you mean?

Everything from the basic, like...

how you treat a staff at a restaurant.

There is nothing tackier than being mean to a waiter screaming shouting yelling if your table is late your reservation is late or your food is not the way you like it being courteous in public especially to people that are working and serving you is so key to being a high value partner and girls a lot of guys complain that they take you on this fabulous fabulous restaurants and you are looking at your cell phone all the time during dinner.

You are doing selfies.

You are looking at your Instagram, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

That is so insanely rude.

That is so insanely tacky.

It is so inappropriate.

Let's make this a high-value person rule.

When you are on a date, put the phone away.

Unless you're like a physician waiting for like an emergency call, something like a serious emergency, I think everybody should be able to put their phones away, look at the person's face as a courtesy, as common sense

that they're taking on a date.

And I hear so many people complain about that.

It shocks me.

And yes, I go to restaurants and bars, and I see girls doing that all the time.

And men,

again, you don't have to go to finishing school, but you need to learn how to behave like a gentleman.

Basic, basic things.

Most women in the world love to get the car door open for them.

You know, open the door of the restaurant, let them walk in in front of you.

You know, don't leave them like trailing behind you.

Ask what they want to drink.

When we talk about paying the bill, I know this one is so controversial, but it's really not even about the money.

It's about the courtesy of treating a lady like a lady.

And I promise you, 99.9% of women, no matter how rich they are, no matter how successful they are, when they're on a date, they love to be taken care of.

If you don't have the means to go to the most expensive restaurant in town, even if it's a coffee date, okay, then buy her a coffee, whatever it is, but small gestures go such, such a long way.

And one that I have to mention that is on the top complaints of also most men, I get these messages all these three years that I do the podcast, guys complain about it.

So many girls are late, and a lot of them think it's cool.

I actually have a friend in LA.

She told me one time a while back that if she goes on a date, oh yeah, I'm gonna let the guy wait 30 minutes, 40 minutes for me because it's just gonna make him want me more.

And I couldn't disagree more.

I think our time is the most precious asset that we have.

We are not never getting that back.

So when you make an appointment with someone, let's meet for dinner, let's meet for a happy hour, that person is taking time away from their life and other things that potentially would be doing to be with you.

So, to keep somebody waiting 30 minutes, 40 minutes on purpose is so insanely awful.

I don't even know what to say about that.

If you want to consider yourself a high-value partner, be respectful of the other person's time.

Yeah, being five minutes late, 10 minutes late, sure, that happens.

But making somebody wait on purpose just makes you an insanely disrespectful a-hole.

Don't do it.

Most people are very, very, very happy if you show up on time and looking amazing.

I think the next one is very close to having good manners, and it's something that so many people overlook.

And this is when we talk about dating etiquette, datiquette.

It is really, really important

to be sensitive and courteous towards the person you are dating.

And unfortunately, I guess because of this age of dating apps and quick dating and everything, so many people forget that.

And what do I mean?

I'll give you guys a few clear examples.

I have a million stories because it has happened to me.

It has happened to my girlfriends.

It has happened to my guy friends because girls do that kind of stuff as well.

And I'm really, again, don't take this as a personal assault.

But if you are guilty of this kind of behavior, maybe this is a great time to analyze our actions and be a little more courteous towards each other.

I'll give you guys an example.

Last year, I was dating someone, right?

We were doing amazing.

So I thought, obviously, it was a huge mistake, but we were dating for several months.

He was all over my life.

I was all over his life.

He met my friends,

my clients, etc., etc.

I had stuff at his house.

He he had stuff in my house, anyways.

We were like slowly getting to know each other more and more, but I was very invested in this relationship.

One day,

and that was more towards the end.

Um,

we were gonna stay here at my place on the weekend.

He didn't want to go out, and he said, Let's go to Bristol Farms, which is an expensive grocery store here in Beverly Hills.

He said, Let's go to Bristol Farms, buy some stuff, and cook at home.

I said, Sure, amazing, I love to cook.

So, we go to Bristol Farms, and he starts putting like a bunch of cheeses on the cart.

And he looks at me and said, oh, I'll pay for it because it's very expensive.

I said, okay, sure.

And while he's getting the cheeses, I go and grab a couple of bottles of wine.

By the way, really, really good wine that I love, under 20 bucks each bottle, like really cheap, great French wine.

So I got a couple of bottles of wine.

I got this freshly prepared chocolate mousse, which was one of his favorite desserts.

I got a few things, and he's getting cheese and bread and other stuff.

Oh, so then we meet and go pay.

So we go to the cashier, and there's a bunch of people in front of us, and there's people behind us.

So he starts putting the cheeses on the cashier to pay.

And he looks at me in front of everybody else.

He's like, well, what are you going to pay for?

And I said, Sure, of course, I can pay for everything.

I'll pay for the wines.

I'll pay for the chocolate mousse.

But what is the point of the story?

The point of the story is, how insensitive is that

to talk like that to a person you're dating in front of other people at the cashier?

If he said, I will pay for everything, great.

It's a courtesy, it's being a gentleman, it's a gesture.

But even if he didn't want to pay for everything, I never said, hey, pay for the wines, pay for the chocolate mousse.

I had everything separate in a different basket.

But to talk like that to someone you're dating in front of other people.

And then when I said, okay, I'll pay for it, he was like, okay, great.

So he

mistake number two, instead of saying, move ahead of me, no, I'm standing behind him holding two bottles of wine and the chocolate mousse and he's paying for his stuff.

Like he doesn't even know me, gives his credit card, packs everything, and moves away from the cashier to wait for me.

So I remember leaving the store and thinking, wow, this guy is so inconsiderate, not because he didn't pay, but why in in the world would you treat a woman that you're dating, that you're sleeping with, that you're going to cook with like that?

And

these minor gestures mean so much to most women in the world.

I talk to my girlfriends and I get messages from girls all over the world telling similar.

similar stories oh we went to the movies and he said oh i'll have one ticket and the girl was waiting and paid for her own ticket or they went to buy popcorn and he said oh I'll pay for mine and you pay for yours.

These little things, it's so silly because it's so little money, but it's so hurtful for a girl to be treated like that in public.

This episode at the grocery store, to see my boyfriend treating me like that in public, and yeah, of course, I have infinitely less money than he does, but that's not even the point.

I just felt, wow, he really doesn't care about if people listen, that I was there alone paying for my stuff.

I felt like really, really, really awful.

And we had so many incidents like that in the course of our relationship.

Now, looking back inside, I definitely don't want to date a guy that treats me like that.

Definitely not.

If you're going to have a conversation about money, like, oh, let's cook dinner.

How about we split the cost of groceries?

Then you do it in the privacy of your home, and then we go to the store, and whoever pays, and then you split.

But you certainly don't put girls in these situations in public.

And I know a lot of girls have been in this situation in restaurants when they're dating someone, and the guy's like, okay, here's your half or split in front of friends and everything.

So, guys, I'm saying guys because this is mostly men's behavior.

Let's be thoughtful.

Let's be kind.

Let's be courteous.

Let's be respectful.

If money is an issue, if you want to talk about money, yeah, do it in private before you go out in public.

But making a girl like pull her wallet at the grocery store, everybody looked by the way.

The guy in front of him, he didn't even notice because he was so intrigued behavior.

He didn't even notice the guy in front of him looked like, who the hell is this guy treating this woman like that?

Let's think about these tiny, minor gestures because they go a really, really long way.

And if you want to be a high-value man, you will never, never make a woman feel bad or humiliated in public in situations like that, for sure.

Obviously, a super important aspect of being high value is taking care of your appearance.

And I'm not saying you need to look like a supermodel.

I am not saying you need to follow the crazy, crazy standards of celebrities with millions of dollars to spend.

I am saying we should always strive to be the best, best, best version of ourselves that we can possibly be.

Why?

It's very simple.

The world sees us from the outside in.

So it doesn't matter what a great heart you have, it doesn't matter what a loyal partner you are, it doesn't matter how fantastic of a person you are.

That is not the first thing they see.

So, if you're single out there and you want to be high value and you want to attract a high-value partner, you need to take care of yourself.

You cannot sit on the couch eating bon bombs and french fries and expecting that you're going to have a partner that works out, that runs, that jogs, that looks good.

And it's not even so much just for the physical appearance, but normally a person that takes care of themselves, that has an active lifestyle, they have good health, high energy, all really important aspects of being a high-value person.

And of course, for girls, you know, it should go without saying, take care of your face, take care of your skin, your nails.

You know, I see so many girls out there, business owners, with horrible, horrible nails.

I mean, you gotta go to the manicure, you gotta do your hair.

If you're blonde, it's insanely high maintenance, right?

You don't want to have like three-inch roots.

And this is not like an attack on anyone, but really, you need to look at yourself in the mirror and say, you know what?

I am very happy with what I see.

And guess what?

If you're not happy with what you see, change it.

Change it.

Maybe wake up half an hour later or go to sleep a half an hour later if you like going to the gym at night do something move around but you need to look good if you are going to attract a high value partner because high value people care about how they look they care about their bodies they care about the quality of their food they care about having energy they care about having energy to have sex they have care about having energy to live life to work travel etc

so we are almost approaching the end of the year.

I interviewed a guest

a few months ago, Jamie Moran, who is one of the top fitness lifestyle coaches in the UK.

And he said something on a post this morning: said, Yeah, we have November and December, and then the year is over, and a lot of people make New Year's resolutions.

You don't need to make a new resolution, you need to make a new you resolution.

Meaning, you can be listening to this podcast today and say, you know what, I agree.

I think I've been gaining a few pounds, or I've been having too many drinks, or I've been eating unhealthy, or I've been skipping the gym.

Yeah, I'm going to leave my gym outfit out, ready to go at night, and my tennis shoes.

And you are absolutely right.

I'm going to take better care of myself because we all know the better care we take of ourselves, the better we feel.

And it's a snowball.

And I think this is all we want in ourselves.

And for sure, this is what we want in a partner.

Now, this one is also super important because I know a lot of people, I have a lot of guy friends who have all the previously mentioned qualities.

They're good looking, they take care of their body, they're wealthy, they're nice, they're courteous, they have manners, etc., etc., etc.

But they have a lot of baggage.

And if you have a lot of baggage, you are not a high-value person, a high-value partner until you get rid of this baggage.

And this goes for guys and girls.

What is a lot of baggage?

If you're still going through divorce, you have baggage.

That's another huge red flag on the same guy that I was talking about, my ex-boyfriend that I was dating last year.

When I met him, he told me, I'm going through a divorce after being married for 23 years, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

He had already moved out.

He had already bought a new house, whatever.

But the back, back of my mind, I kept thinking, uh-oh, this is a long marriage.

He's not ready for a relationship.

This is a lot of baggage.

he's hiding the new relationship from his kids that's a huge red flag when you have this kind of baggage that you're hiding new relationship from your kids you're still going through divorce you're still feeling guilty about it red red red flags obviously everything at least in my eyes is a lesson learned so looking backwards when we first talked on the phone and he told me that i should have said okay thank you i don't even want to meet you i made a huge mistake i went against everything that I believe, and now it's on my non-negotiable list.

I don't want to even start something with someone who is going through a divorce, who is not ready and open and happy to have a new partner and tell his kids, Look, this is my new partner, and hopefully, it's going to work out, and she's a part of my life.

We should not be dirt to be hidden under the rug, we should not be dirt for someone to be like making believe we don't exist.

Do not accept that from anyone.

So, men and women, if you're still going through a divorce, you're still going through something messy, you don't feel ready to present your new partner to your friend, to your kids, to whatever it is, finish that shit first.

Clean your home first, clean your mess first, and then you start.

Because no high-value person wants to date someone with so much baggage.

Other examples of baggage that I I get messages from people all the time.

Obviously, divorce of any kind, major problem.

Baby drama, baby mama drama, daddy, baby, daddy drama, like, oh, I'm not married, but I had a kid with this, and no, no, no, no, no.

All this stuff needs to be super, super organized and resolved if you want to consider yourself high value and if you want to date a high value person.

Fix your mask first, clean your house first, because any high-value person is going to want that for you.

I know I will never make that mistake again.

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Okay, this one is so important.

And I know a lot of women out there disagree, but you guys know what I think about sugar babies.

Make your own money.

If you want to consider yourself a high-value partner, make your own money.

I know so many girls think, oh my God, I am so pretty.

I'm a gift from God.

My husband, my boyfriend, my partner should pay all my bills and I shouldn't do anything all day.

That does not make you a high-value partner at all.

That makes you a lazy bum.

And one day, the guy is either going to dump you or he's going to resent you.

Making your own money, having your own goals, your own career, your own job, your own business, your own company makes you so classy and sexy for a partner, even if your partner is super rich.

Most rich men in the world want a woman who is intelligent, who has goals, who has something to offer to the partnership.

And I've said that so many times on my podcast to all the sugar babies out there: you are selling yourselves short.

Don't make this mistake.

Find something you're interested in and stick with it.

I made the mistake of marrying a guy that was very conservative, that did not like me to work.

And although my career was in huge ascension when I met him in my early 20s, I was doing a ton of modeling.

I had successful contracts.

I had a business.

I had so many things going on.

I was acting, which is something I love.

And slowly, slowly, slowly, I gave up so much for that guy and for the marriage.

because he was against me doing all of it.

And I'm telling you, it's a huge mistake.

Now looking back, I see that, and this is why I work so hard on so many projects at the same time because I thought, you know what, now I'm gonna do everything that I love doing, and that's how you see results.

And I definitely think a partner needs to be proud of us and supportive of us the same way we will be for them.

So, please, if you want to consider yourself high-value, have something going on.

Make your own money.

This is so, so, so crucial.

It doesn't matter how beautiful, how gorgeous you are.

If you're sitting by the pool doing nothing all day, that does not make you high value.

I don't care what you say.

Go make some money.

Go work.

Get busy.

This one is really, really important.

And it's more directed for men because usually this is a situation that guys do.

You can have all the characteristics that we've talked about, right?

You make money, you're successful, you're good-looking, you take care of yourself, you are nice, you're kind.

But guess what?

If you are a player,

if you are using these dating apps, dating a bunch of girls at the same time, whining and dining them until you take them to bed, and then you move to the next one, guess what?

You are not high value, you are a douche,

and you can lie to anybody you want, but you cannot lie to yourself.

And this is unfortunately a huge side effect of these dating apps.

And it's something that obviously has happened to me.

It has happened to pretty much every girlfriend I have.

And I get dozens and dozens and dozens of stories, messages from women every single month that they met a guy on a dating app, they went on a bunch of fantastic dates, and then the minute they went to bed, the guy goes and moves on to the next one.

So I'm saying that to all of you men out there, and I see this behavior in middle-aged men in their 50s, in their 40s, in their 60s.

What the hell is wrong with you?

This is behavior that 19-year-olds have.

I've been a victim of that.

I went on a bunch of dates with a guy that obviously I never should have gone.

Same thing.

We need to look at our red flags.

And these guys,

especially guys that think they're high value, and I'm doing quote unquote in my finger because they think, oh, I have money.

I drive a nice car.

I'm good looking, I'm high.' No, you're a piece of shit.

Because you get a date on a dating app.

You, when you're whining and dining us, you take us to this nice, fabulous, fancy places.

And then, when you finally decide, okay, maybe we should have sex to decide if the chemistry is right.

The guy's like, oh, okay, I'm so bored, moving on to the next one.

You are a freaking douche if you treat women like that.

You're a piece of shit.

And it could be some, somebody could be doing that to your wife, to your wife, to your sister, to your mom, to your daughter.

So, this is what I'm gonna say: if you really want to be a high-value partner to someone, treat women with kindness and respect.

If all you're looking for is one-night stance, then tell them that.

Look, I'm not ready for anything serious.

If you want to have like casual sex, that's great.

But taking a girl on date after date after date after date, whining, dying them, saying amazing, wonderful things, being so sweet.

And then the minute the girl has sex with you, you're like, oops, okay, bye.

I never want to see you again.

It is so insanely pathetic.

It's so insanely disrespectful.

That makes you the opposite of high value.

You're the lowest, lowest, lowest buck in the universe.

And I am begging you guys out there, stop this behavior.

Be truthful with your intentions because I get messages from so many girls that get hurt this this way.

Of course, they trust someone and you go on date one, you go on date two, you go on date three, you go on date four, you go on date five.

At some point,

most people want to have sex, right?

Because you want to know if you have great chemistry or not.

So for those guys that do that and dump the girl right after, you're just disgusting.

Grow up.

If all you want to do is one night stands, tell them.

But if you are dating a girl that is telling you to your face that she's dating with intention of having a relationship, be respectful of her intentions.

Like I said, it could be your daughter.

Be respectful of what she wants and don't be a liar, player, scumbag.

So remember, if you want to be high value, you need to be truthful and you need to be respectful.

And this one is probably something that we never think about when we're thinking about being high value, but I really think it's on top of my my list:

being grateful.

And why am I saying that?

Because I see so many people with a lot.

All the things that I mentioned before, great careers or great businesses, a lot of money, and they're good looking and they're amazing.

And in my case here, We live in Beverly Hills.

We live in a gorgeous place.

The weather is always fantastic.

So many incredible places to visit in California.

And then

this one person that thinks they're high value complains about everything

and forgets about practicing gratitude.

I have dated people like that, my girlfriends have dated people like that.

I see women like that every day complaining about something.

Oh, but yeah, I live in California, but it's so expensive.

Oh, yeah, I make so much money, but I pay taxes.

Oh, yeah, you know, I love going out, but you know, the restaurant is booked, you know, the biggest bullshit in the world.

If you are always complaining, if you're always in a bad mood, you become a heavy person, you become a great person.

Being grateful is so, so important.

Be light, be kind, be nice if you want to be considered high value.

And that goes also

when we are talking about the person you are dating.

Be grateful for minor gestures that person does to to you.

It doesn't matter what it is, like I said, showing up on time, buying you coffee, planning a nice romantic date, buying tickets to go to a concert that both of you enjoyed.

Be grateful for those small gestures.

Make sure you tell them, wow, this was really nice.

Thank you so much.

This was amazing.

And so many times we forgot about that.

Life can be really hard for all of us.

We don't know what people are going through.

We don't know their battles.

We don't know their pain.

We don't know their intimate problems.

We don't know things that they don't post on social media.

Yeah, you look at social media, think, oh my God, her life is perfect.

It's fantastic.

So before I start complaining about everything, let's practice a little more gratitude.

I don't know if you believe in manifestation.

I really do.

I wake up every single morning and every single morning I say, I am so grateful for what I have, for my life, for my work, for the place I live, for my home, for my beautiful best friend dog, Phoenix.

I am grateful for my friends.

I'm grateful for the wonderful people I meet through my job.

I have a list of things that I'm grateful for.

So I can be having a million problems behind that nobody even knows about, but I exude the energy of always being grateful, every opportunity, everything that I get.

And in return, that's how I get treated.

So before

we go and take this episode, hopefully a self-reflection, remember,

be a grateful person with yourself, with the world around you, and certainly with those you date.

Even if you don't want to date them anymore, you don't have to ghost them.

You don't have to be an asshole and disappear.

Send a message and things on a good note.

You know, you can always say, look, I changed my mind, whatever.

Look at the person in the eyes.

Be thankful.

Be grateful.

Even if that person was in your life for just a few months, it was for a reason.

It's so hurtful.

It's so painful when somebody ghosts us.

It's so painful when somebody breaks up with you over the phone.

Like I keep going back to this boyfriend I had last year because

I've been looking back at a lot of things and wondering, you know, why was I so invested in a relationship with someone who wasn't ready, was going through a divorce, was hiding me from his kids, was disrespectful to me in public, didn't care about how I felt.

And in the end,

he broke up with me with a three-minute phone call.

He didn't even think our beautiful, incredible relationship, all the amazing moments we lived.

He didn't have the courtesy, the gratitude to come to me, look me in the eyes and say, oh, by the way, I changed my mind.

This is not what I want.

I'm not ready, blah, blah, blah.

We would have given each other a hug I don't hold any grudges I'm not resentful of anybody in my life and and parted ways but the way he did it was so insanely rude insensitive classless and again this guy has a daughter I cannot imagine his daughter going home one day and say oh my god I was dating this amazing guy we were all over each other's lives blah blah blah making plans weekends together did it

so many experiences and then he broke up with me the three-minute phone call.

Doesn't matter if it's a man or a girl, even if you don't want to see that person anymore, be courteous, be kind to them.

If you're a guy and you just leapt with a woman and you decided, you know, you don't want to see them anymore, same.

If somebody just left your bed, you know, have some bad side manners.

We are talking about people here, and I really, really feel in my heart that all these dating apps, these excess of choices, desensitized so many people.

You forget we're not robots, we are human beings with real feelings.

So let's treat everybody with the same kindness, the same respect, the same gratitude that we want to be treated with.

I am not kidding, you guys.

The few times that I broke up with someone, of course, I've been on many dates that I don't want to see the person ever again.

Some of them became my friends.

But even if I never see the person again, I give them the kindness and the consideration to explain why, to look them in the eyes, to have a coffee, to make things nice.

So I think that's the message I want to leave with this episode.

Regardless of how many choices are out there, regardless how many fish you think in the sea, regardless how many people you think you're going to find better if you didn't appreciate what you have, regardless of what you're going through, I think we need to treat people with more kindness.

And this is why I say, let's be grateful.

If someone was in your life, even if it was four dates, four months, six months, whatever it was, let's end things on a great note.

And this is what is going to make you super high value for a high-value partner.

Because high-value people don't ghost, don't break up over the phone in three minutes, don't act like teenagers.

High-value people talk like high-value adults that they are.

And I hope you go back and rewind this episode and write down one by one by one all these characteristics.

I do it to myself all the time.

I want to make sure I

check all of these boxes because in the past I didn't.

And I want to make sure I am this high-value woman for the high-value partner that I am looking for.

So go back and look and remember.

all the points that we talked about.

Educate yourself, be knowledgeable of the basics of the basics of the world, of travels, of other cultures, of what's going on.

Write properly.

Have manners.

Educate yourself about social manners, about etiquette, about dating etiquette.

How you treat people in public goes such a long way.

Social courtesies go such a long way.

Men, treat a lady like a lady.

Don't treat a lady like she's your roommate or your buddy from college.

Girls, mostly,

don't be crazy late.

Don't keep people waiting for you for 30, 40 minutes.

That is so insanely rude, incredibly, incredibly disrespectful.

Be real, be honest, be kind.

Take care of your appearance as best as you possibly can.

Be the best version of yourself so you have great energy for everything you love doing in life.

If you have a lot of baggage right now, I did in the past, I was dealing with the death of my ex-husband.

I was dealing with the death of my mom.

I was dealing with losing everything after my ex-husband died.

I was dealing with a lot of shit.

I had to clear my baggage.

to qualify myself as high value.

So if you have any baggage, issues with your ex, going through a divorce, any major problem, baby drama, mama, baby drama, baby daddy drama, all this crap, resolve it really, really well before you consider yourself high value for someone.

Make your own money.

Have goals, have ambitions, have a business, a job, whatever it is that you love doing.

If you don't need to make money, fantastic, help a charity, help an organization, do something valuable with your time.

Men, stop acting.

like teenagers stop acting like pigs and dating girls whining dining, and everything until you take them to bed and then you dump them like trash.

This is so disgusting.

It's so awful behavior.

It's so unethical.

It makes you just a low, low, low scum.

If you want to be high value, treat women like the nice, kind, loving human beings that they are and deserve to be treated.

If you want to just a one-night stand, tell them the truth.

Do not do this to women that tell you they're looking for a partner and dating with the intention of being in a relationship.

And remember, last but not least, let's be grateful.

Let's be grateful for everything we have and let's be grateful towards each other.

Let's end any relationship, any situationship, any date situation on a high note and say whatever we want to say to people, looking them in the eyes.

Don't ghost.

Don't break up a relationship over the phone.

Everybody deserves better than that.

And I don't know about you you guys, I believe in karma, and this is why I treat everyone the way I like to be treated, regardless of how they treated me.

By the way, I always try to treat everyone with the utmost respect and kindness.

So, let's reflect and let's move on dating smarter and being kinder.

I hope you guys enjoyed it.

Send me messages if you think there is anything that I missed.

I've been compiling this list for a long time, but if you think I missed anything, or if you agree or disagree, I love to hear from you.

And I see you very soon.

Much love, always be safe out there.

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