PAOLA MAYFIELD - MAJOR LATINA GIRL POWER AND INSPIRATION!!!!

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Hi, gorgeous people of my fast-growing cat kingdom.

I am so excited about my guest today.

Her name is Paola Mayfield.

And for those of you who never watch the TV show 90 Day Fiancé, she was one of the original cast members on 90 Day Fiancé about 10 years ago.

And Paola is a girl from Colombia.

She was highly, highly criticized while she was doing the 10 seasons of the show because she has a very strong personality.

And of course, being a Latin girl, she loves dressing sexy.

She's really, really beautiful.

She was a model.

And she got engaged to a guy.

His name is Russ from Oklahoma.

So you guys can only imagine the cultural shock and the differences and everything when she moves from Colombia to Oklahoma with a fiancé visa.

For those of you guys who don't know what that is, basically, when an American is dating a foreigner, they can give them a visa called K-Visa.

It's a fiancé visa.

It gives you 90 days to stay in the country, in the United States with that person.

And within those 90 days, you either need to get married or your fiancé gets kicked out back to their country.

Can you imagine the pressure?

And so this TV show on TLC, 90 Day Fiancé, document,

I think they still have it, documents a bunch of couples in this situation.

Paola and Russ were a couple in the original cast.

And by the way, they're still married.

They had a kid.

She developed her reality TV show career into other businesses.

She kicks ass.

She's an entrepreneur.

She became a super successful personal coach.

And now she's doing pro wrestling.

She's absolutely incredible.

And she's adorable.

It was a really fun, great conversation.

And I love talking to inspiring women.

She is a Latin immigrant as myself.

We have a lot in common.

It was a lot of fun interviewing, Paola.

I hope you guys enjoyed this episode as much as I did making it for you.

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Okay, Paola Mayfield, welcome to Cat on the Luz.

It's such an honor to have you.

Thank you so much for having me.

I'm very excited to be here.

I am too.

I have to say, muchas gracias.

We have so many listeners from all over Latin America.

I was saying to you off-camera, I am so proud, so honored to be the top Latina podcaster in the world because, as you know, and that's how I want to start our conversation, this is why I really wanted to have you on the show.

So many of us, whatever we do, we are so criticized.

I don't know if it's because of our personality, I don't know if it's because our culture.

So, for people that don't know you yet or didn't follow you on the show or don't know about your work, we're gonna get to everything.

But can you give us like a little backtrack?

You were born in Colombia, how did you end up here?

And maybe you can explain a little bit, and then we can talk about why do you think Latinas are so

like, whatever the hell we do, they think we're a whore, basically.

Like, if we wear something sexy, right?

If you say something, what is it?

Help me out, Paula.

Like, recently, someone actually posted something on like, oh, I guess they the H-O, because they use H-O-E,

uh, won, and I'm like,

what?

I, and just for a picture, like, they could be like, well, before I get there, okay, so I'm from Colombia.

I was born in Colombia.

I moved to the United States about 10 years ago.

And

people know me because

I was part of 90 Day Fiancé for about 10 years.

I think since the show started, we call it We Are the Originals because we started season one of 90 Day Fiancé and Happily Ever After and other spin shows that the 90 Day Fiancé had.

But before I moved to Colombia, I was a shoe designer.

That's where I met my husband in Colombia.

And he proposed me to call he proposed me and then we decided to move to the United States

we came with the K1 visa and the 90-day fiancé

story okay

all right so let's go part by part I watched the show because I was fascinated by the show And

this is why I literally fell in love with your work.

Because

you see this girl coming from Colombia.

For those who don't know, Russ, by the way, you're still married to Russ, right?

We're gonna get there.

They have a beautiful son, but you come to Colombia and they put you on the show with the 90-day fiancé visa, and he was from Oklahoma, so it was a clash of cultures.

But I was honestly really shocked

because, of course,

you have a strong personality, which I love.

And you said, you know, I don't like this place.

This place is boring.

Why is he not going to move for me?

No, no, no.

But all the criticism went to you.

Like you were doing something wrong to him.

Yeah, I feel like he knew how it was, but he never told me how was the life in Oklahoma.

Because

bringing someone who

practically I've been on my own since I was 15 years old.

Like I've been very independent since that age.

So to come into a place that

I can barely go out.

He's social, but with friends that

they don't like me.

It's like it was a very cultural shock for me.

His family is very conservative.

Right now, they accept me.

I want to believe that they accept me, even though that shouldn't be the word to accept me.

Right.

They realize how I was.

And, like, because I don't think they ever met someone outside from their circle.

So, and I'm coming from a country, like, we are very proud about how we dress.

We like to dress as sexy.

We are very comfortable.

If there is craziness that I have here, people like, oh, she's dressed like that in front of her kid.

Like,

Colombian culture, I don't see it like we don't sexualize ourselves.

I don't see like I can dress like that in front of my niece, nephews, and they're like, they don't look at you like, oh my gosh, what's that?

It's just the body.

There are, of course, differences.

And there are people that are very conservative, but the Latina world, I feel like we are very confident and we like to some girls like to express it like that the way I dress.

I like it.

Why not?

If we have it, we plant it.

Some people don't like to do that.

That's okay.

I don't go there.

Yeah, I don't go.

It's crazy the way they criticize you for something that

it's like I grew up in that culture.

Yes, no, listen, and I completely agree with you because the same with me.

Being born in Brazil, I've lived here my entire life.

I'm an American, but should this day, like I post something, if it's a little too sexy, or some episodes I talk about sex, people immediately like I was joking they think oh my gosh she's such a whore she's leaping with different people and I think it's so pathetic and I remember on the show and if you guys didn't watch it not kidding you go go back there and watch because you stuck like because many times people of course you have the TV in your face You're in Oklahoma.

Everybody's criticizing.

Like you said, what you dress and what you say.

And she's too sexy.

And she's using him.

They don't even know you, right?

But they decide they're going to criticize you.

But you stuck.

Like you had a strong personality.

You're like, no, I'm not going to change the way I dress.

I'm going to do whatever I want.

That little girl in me comes out to play in that moment because it's like, don't do that.

And I'm like, you're not going to tell me what to do.

But it's more like, okay, am I hurting you by dressing up like this?

Like, I feel like I got a lot of hit because,

well, I decided to move to Miami.

Like, I told my husband, I have a strong personality.

I told you, I am on my own since I was 15 years old.

So I know being independent i know like to take control of my own life marriage is a 50-50 like we have to commit but you cannot just tell someone like oh you cannot do this or you cannot just like express yourself the way you want like because that will be changed completely like the person that he met and so people saw it in a way and you know it's a tv show so fights happen we that's part of that that's part of life but like i'm gonna stand up for what i believe even though you feel like i shouldn't be doing that, but like that's not fair.

And I feel like they push a little bit too much on Ross because I don't think his biggest thing was being so conservative and not letting me be myself.

It was more like I needed to tell him that I was going to do certain things, like for example, the top, the topless was not topless, but it was implied photo shoot.

Right.

And that was like, that was a crazy fight because I didn't tell him, but I didn't know I was going to do that.

Uh-huh.

It was

but listen, I, yeah, no, I totally agree.

Like, you have to have communication when you're a couple.

But the point is, like you said, people need to accept us for what we are.

And I honestly tell you, with all my heart, I thought, even from back then, 10 years ago, right, that you did the show, you were a freaking role model.

I loved it.

I was living in Miami at the time, and I saw when you said, No, I'm going to move to South Beach.

He has to do something for me too.

No, no, no.

And all the critics were like, oh, she's going going to use him.

She's going to dump him.

Oh, she's in South Beach fucking around.

I think one night you were like having dinner with your friends or something.

And people were like, oh my God.

Yeah.

Look, she's having.

And I said, well, so girls cannot have guy friends.

She's not doing anything wrong.

But I loved that you did not change.

Like you said, people need to accept you for what you are.

Yeah, accept us or respect us.

Oh, mind your own business.

Because we're not going around till like, oh my gosh, that's way too much clothes.

Why are you wearing so much clothes?

Like, we don't go around like it.

We let people be.

I know that I have my mistakes.

I used to be a person when I was hanging out with Juan,

my ex-BFF.

And we used to do that, but that was child, like, childish, like, being

like talking about other people.

Right now, I'm a mature person.

I learn from my mistakes.

And even more, once your life is on TV and everybody sees, you see yourself like, damn, that's not who I want to be.

Yeah.

That's not

but other times

when you go and look at the social media and like the way they talk they talk bad about you it's like

oh I know it's so hard like you know you have I have so many comebacks when people talk to me

I'm like but no I'm better than this but sometimes they find me with my hormonal so I am turning because and I'm this Latina fire comes to play and I just tell him how it is.

I think it's a part of the game.

Yes, unfortunately, every time you have a public job, if you're on TV, we post on social media.

There is always the person, like I said, they don't even know us and they have to say something negative.

I always respond with kindness, like, you know, go look at somebody else's work.

Go follow somebody else's work.

Fuck you.

I wish I could do that.

I have to wake up in a super, like...

amazing mood to actually because no sometimes at the end of the day they just want attention they just want attention

like someone just wrote something to me like someone just read, literally, this person, this follower, has been saying the same thing since I cut my hair.

He's been saying, like, you must be very angry at Ross for doing that to your hair.

Oh, no, that's so stupid.

And you look adorable, by the way.

You guys have to go to my social media because I'm going to put all these videos of her there.

She's super pretty.

We're going to talk about your work, what you do now.

But finishing the conversation about the 90-day fiancé, for the people that didn't watch the show, you met Russ,

he he went to Colombia, correct?

Yes, working in Colombia.

So he was working.

So it's not like, because I saw a bunch of stuff online, people were like, oh, she came here and she was trying to find a guy here, you know.

And I said, no,

he met you there.

And his eyes, like, he was like madly, madly crazy in love with you.

Like the way he looked at you.

And, you know, he was trying.

And I thought he was cute because, like you said, this guy from Oklahoma, and you're this fiery, gorgeous bombshell from Colombia, two different worlds.

But I realized that he started slowly trying to adapt for you as well, right?

Make changes because he didn't want to lose you.

Yes, he made a lot of changes.

He noticed that.

I think, like, I feel like when we talk with Ross about the changes that we have made have been for good.

When he met me, I didn't even want to go out with him because I thought, look, these guys come here to Colombia and they just want to have sex with the girls and they just dump them.

You're not going to play with me like that.

I don't have time for that.

Like, you're not going to take, nobody's going to take advantage of me.

So he was insisting so many days about hanging out, but in his apartment.

So I'm like, no.

So he finally invited me to a different place.

But at the end, we ended up kissing that night.

We went to a place and then we got some drinks.

And like, he's very cute.

he's very handsome, and he was very persistent.

So, I noticed that he was such a good guy because you can tell, like, I don't know, I feel like it with Ross, I don't have those thoughts that, like, oh, he's gonna cheat on me, or like, he's gonna go out, do something.

Like, I feel like I have so much, so much peace, and like, he doesn't even go out to begin with.

And it's not that I go out often, but I travel often.

But, like, and he insisted so much that we end up dating.

And since that day, uh,

we

weren't together like until today.

Yes, we have some ups and downs, of course, like any marriage, right?

It's tough, but I do think that, like you said, you are on TV, so everything is being magnified, and you are like in a new country, you're in a new city, you're trying to figure out, you know, what you were gonna do, what's going on, and of course, the TV cameras are on top of you guys, and all the viewers of the show, millions of people are criticizing you.

I'm sure the pressure, the pressure must have been so intense on you.

I was the first gold digger on the 90th Fiancé.

I was the first one.

Even though

I was working before, of course, once you get to America, you don't know, you can't work.

Right, right.

So it's a lot of things that, of course, they call you names and stuff.

Yeah.

But

people don't know really.

And what you said is true.

Like, it was my first time in America.

I arrived, and as soon as I arrived to the airport, there there was cameras waiting for me oh really oh

wow i have to like i i see my husband with a big sign and i look at the cameras and i frit like i was like no this is not the face i want to show because i i barely sleep i was like i cried all night because i was leaving my family so my face was like no this is not what i want to show so i have to go and put some makeup on and be ready and when the show started they didn't know exactly what they were doing now right now thanks to our thanks to to us

we did

it thanks to us they kind of figured out what to do but they were following us around they filmed so much and none of that was there they just put things and even though i feel like it was a great season the people of my season were they were genuine stories that were like beautiful stories love stories weird stories but it was different right now i haven't catch up

i don't watch it anymore to be really honest with you i agree it changed but let me ask your opinion

And yes, I think it was better back then, I don't know why, but like in your case, obviously, you shut up all the critics because 10 years later, you guys are still together.

It's not true that you were using him, they were full of shit, and you're happy.

You guys have a beautiful son, right?

I see on your Instagram, you're so adorable, you're such a hands-on mom, and you have a crazy, successful career now.

But let's be honest, not everybody on the show has great intentions, right?

Some couples there, when we watch, we're like, oh my God, this is going to end up badly, right?

You see right from the get-go that it's a bad idea.

Did you, and I remember you participated in the reunions and you talk about it and you're very expressive.

Did you feel like when you were doing the show, when you met the other couples, like, oh my god, a lot of these people obviously don't have the best intentions?

Well,

I feel like at the beginning, the only person it was someone that I tried not to mention because he hate, I hate my gods, but I wasn't standing up for Danielle, that's for sure.

I feel like I needed to stand up for Danielle.

And it wasn't fair that what was happening.

But at the same time, I look back and all of that stuff.

And sometimes we need to learn how to mind our own business.

But you get caught up in that.

Like when you hear this thing that this person is saying, and I have this, like, if she can stand up for herself, I am going to help her.

and it's not my business.

And I made mistakes, and I got criticized by that.

But you know what?

At the end of the day, you want to deliver a good show, too.

Yeah, it's boring to be sitting in there, listening to everybody, and no interact with that.

Like, I know it's everybody's life, but the idea is to interact with each other because that's why we are kind of like in the same situation.

And I got in trouble sometimes for doing that.

I don't know if you got in trouble, but like I said, you're opinionated.

I mean, you see shit and you speak your mind.

I personally don't think that's a bad thing.

On the contrary, I don't understand why, as women, people expect us to kind of keep our mouths shut.

Like you just said, oh, I got in trouble.

It's like, why?

Because if you have an opinion, if you see something bad going on, if you see a woman, you know, maybe being abused or embarrassed to speak up, and if you can speak up for her, I think that's a beautiful thing.

I just, I just hope I obviously in a perfect world, people wouldn't be so critical of women with such strong personalities, you know?

You feel like they're just so afraid.

Like, they just see it as a way that is disrespect, but at the end, it's just people speaking up their mind and just standing up for what they believe.

Yeah.

And that's, I think, that, like, that people judge me a lot.

Like, okay, if I want to post pictures on bikini or if I want to model bikini, uh, bikinis, I can do it.

It's my body.

I have the right to do it.

And I feel like it for them, like, no, you have to tell your husband, like, oh, come on.

But that's between you and your husband, right?

That's like between you and him, it's not for anybody else to judge.

Yeah, and I don't need to tell anybody, like, hey, I talked to my husband, he told me that was okay.

No, like, it's my job, and I my job, I do what I like.

I just did some pictures in Colombia and I show it to him, and he was like, Okay, that's nice, but like, it just right now is like, Oh, that's okay, but now it's like, You are a mom, you shouldn't be posting those pictures.

Your son friends are gonna uh are gonna bully him.

I'm like, I'm gonna teach my son how to stand up for himself.

Good for you.

I am not, I know, I'm gonna teach my son how to stand up because we're not gonna tolerate bullies or anything like that.

And so bullying needs to be put in their place.

Yeah, no, I love it.

And I think you're teaching your son also that men should respect women not based on what they wear.

Like you said, I can't believe people would say that, like, oh my god, you were, because I'm, I'm the same.

We have the same style.

I, it's just my vibe.

I like dressing sexy.

I like low-cut i think the older i get the more i want to show

i don't want to do the opposite you know

you know what no it's not

just do it

exactly exactly but i think

away from us like oh my wife i will never ask my wife well i will never allow my wife to dress like that like

Of course, your wife has to ask for permission for that.

Like, can you imagine?

This is my life.

Yes.

Asking for permission for there are certain things, but I know my limits.

I feel like I know my limits and I know what I, what I can or cannot do.

At the end of the day, like, it's, it's about talking to your spouse and like, oh, this is me.

But at this point, we have been together for 10 years.

So it's like, he knows how I am.

He knows that I'm not going to stop.

And if people criticize me more and more, I'm going to do it.

Same.

More than what they hate.

I'm a firm believer, Paola.

When we're doing any kind of job, like I said, your photos are stunning, by the way.

I saw the photos.

I put one on the promo art.

You're stunning.

And I think when people start criticizing our work, it's because we hit a nerve.

Like, okay, maybe I'm doing something like the podcast when I talk about sex.

I feel like, you know what?

I'm opening up conversations because I want to encourage women anywhere in the world to talk about sex.

We are sexual beings.

We deserve to be sexual.

We deserve to be sexy.

I think it's so much better to have a mom like you, your son, than all these men that look at us and judge us and criticize.

I think it's horrible.

So honestly, I think you're a fantastic role model for your audience and for your son and for Latinas, because I try to demystify.

And I want to ask your opinion and you tell me if it's like mine.

Like I was saying.

For some reason, maybe because of our personality, because we dance, sometimes we're loud, we love dressing sexy, it's our culture.

I think there's a lot of misconception about us, especially in the United States.

People see us and like they have a stereotype.

Like, say, oh, she's such a hoe.

Oh, she does a sexy photo.

She's going to cheat on him.

Oh, she does a sex podcast.

She fucks around all kinds of guys.

Do you feel the same in terms of like being a Latina, you're more criticized than other cultures, or this is not your perception?

Well, I have a, there's a lot of people from Colombia, a a lot of Latino that follow me, and I noticed like

they have been criticizing me a lot and thinking they are Latinas too.

So I don't get it.

Wow.

Yeah, and so, but the majority are women.

I feel like, yes, as a Latina, it's a target, but Latina means sexiness.

I feel like a Latina, when you mention a Latina, porn, like they think about sexiness, pretty woman dressing up beautiful, looking good.

That's what I mean the concept of Latina, a strong woman, hard worker.

And I feel like it's not just

because we are Latinas, because there are Latinas who also criticize us a lot.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, that's sad, right?

And you mentioned something that I always talk about that breaks my heart when it's women.

When the criticism comes from women, it breaks my heart because I don't understand, like, how can you criticize a woman that you never even met in your life?

Yeah, I get, oh, I get, well, you know, I get so many messages, and I recently started reading them, and I'm like, oh, they're coming for women, and some guys, like two or three guys, like my wife, I will never.

And I'm like, shut up, why are you looking at my pictures at this point?

Exactly, looking at my pictures, you're saying something, and what are you doing?

And here, you think I'm too much, uh, but I feel like it's very sad that we

I don't know, I wanted to try to understand, but I feel like we are hormonal, so I feel like when people just send me a message like that, they are under period or they are freaking i don't know something is wrong because i don't get it how you wake up and send a hateful message to someone that you don't even have an idea like

it doesn't sit me right like i see things on social media i say like oh my gosh i know

but i just don't go in saying

like ah no it's none of my business like okay I think about it.

I'm not going to deny that, but I'm like, it doesn't give me the right to make it public and just make that person feel bad like what i think is that usually people that do that that leave hate messages or negative comments it's a problem they have with themselves like

usually they're frustrated with their own lives or many times they don't have the courage to do what you are doing

Like believe it or not, like you said you get criticism from other girls in Colombia

Maybe those girls are the frustrated girls that would like to have the courage to start a new life in a different country or do sexy photos, you know, or be on TV.

And because they don't want to get out of the comfort zone, like they end up attacking somebody that actually pursued it and did it, believe it or not.

This is why I kind of feel sorry for them.

Instead of like getting angry when somebody says something about me, I feel sorry for them because if they had a happy life, like you said, who the fuck wakes up in the morning to put something nasty about someone on social media, right?

You think you have something better to do,

yeah?

You know, and being insulted in many languages because I get insulted in Portuguese, Spanish, English,

and I'm like, okay,

okay, it is intense.

But you know what?

It's been like so many years since I've been doing this that I'm not gonna lie, that it doesn't get me.

Sometimes it gets me because I woke up that day and feeling a lot.

I'm very emotional.

It doesn't, it doesn't make me like sad anymore in a way, like it offended me.

No, not anymore because I understood that that's not my problem.

No, and you have a huge following, by the way, that loves you and adores you.

You have over a million followers, you have a crazy fun TikTok account.

I love your videos, they're so cute.

Many times, you do it with your son.

You guys should definitely go check it out.

And you have fun with it, and you have a great sense of humor.

So, other than the haters, you have a much bigger fan base.

Thank God, right?

Thank God.

That's why, like,

the thing I used to post more often, and then, like, I was getting too much like

hateful comments.

And I just, like,

now I'm getting to the point that sometimes I disconnect from one week, two weeks, just to relax a little bit.

Because no matter what, you don't want to be reading that bad energy all the time, those negativity.

And, but I miss talking with my fans.

I miss like showing them a lot of part of my life.

But I feel like those haters have,

I don't want to say affect, but like somehow, like I'm more mindful of what I post.

I don't post much

pictures with my husband.

Yeah, so you, yeah, you're very protective.

Yeah,

because when I do it, they just like they want to ruin it with the hateful comments, and I just don't care to have those beautiful pictures being ruined by the hate.

And it's not because I'm not with them or I don't want to show them.

I'm very protected of that.

Good for you.

I hear you.

Yeah.

Same, I'm the same.

I post tons and tons of stuff about my work, but whenever I'm in a relationship, I kind of keep it private.

Yeah, because people are nasty.

We're going to take a two-minute break.

Paolo, when we come back, I want to ask you how you evolved from being

a huge

reality TV star on so many seasons into being a pro wrestler.

That is so cool.

Like, talk about a tough, cool chicken.

And you are a personal trainer.

Your body's sick.

Major body goals, people, and your nutritional goals.

So, I want to talk about how you transformed your career.

And also, a lot of people want to know: like, so many girls send this question.

And I know you just described a little bit, but if you have any tips for like how to deal with the criticism, how do you manage to stay so strong and move on and do everything that you do?

So, we'll be right back.

Stay there.

Hold that thought.

You have two minutes to think about all the criticisms you want to do.

this is a super fun episode with this gorgeous gorgeous woman and and your smile light lights up a room and I'm very honored to have you here Paola Mayfield will be right back

a lot of you guys ask me all the time where do I record Carondeleuse how do I do it is it easy is it complicated and the answer is it's super super easy I do it on Spotify for podcasters it's basically a free listen to this word, free, no catches, platform where you can record, edit, and distribute your podcasts without any complicated podcasting equipment.

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Okay, we're back with Paola.

She looks gorgeous and she's my kind of girl because she shows up to Duque on the Luz holding a gorgeous martini.

Cheers.

You're my kind of girl.

A lot of people ask, and you don't have to answer if you don't want.

You guys are not living in Oklahoma anymore.

You haven't lived in Oklahoma forever, right?

Yes.

We only lasted three years in Oklahoma.

And that was because my husband got laid off.

And I said, that was on the show too.

I said, well, you don't have a job that that was the one who was stopping us from leaving.

I'm moving to Miami, so I started looking things to Miami, and but we are not living in Miami anymore, we're living in Orlando.

Ah, where

Orlando,

yes, close to the Disney, the Disney World, and all that stuff.

So, we're living in small, quiet, Miami became a little bit too much.

Because, like you said,

it's been 10 years since the show.

You evolved, your life changed, you guys have a kid, you're still together.

Now, a lot of girls, especially, send this question,

and I agree, it's easier said than done, but being criticized hurts.

Being criticized when you're on TV is so hard.

Being criticized when you're on TV and in a new country, like being the new girl in school, right?

And people are like all over you.

I imagine some nights you probably went home and like, man, this is tough.

Like, I can't believe it.

But you kept going back, going back.

And like I said, you stuck to your beliefs.

You're You're like, no, this is who I am.

This is how I dress.

This is my culture.

He needs to accept you as much as I accept him.

You were really, really, and I love that.

You're a really strong personality.

But the girls ask,

how do you handle criticism?

Any tips?

Like, if somebody out there is listening to us,

especially now with social media, right, Paola, so many younger girls, they compare their body, they compare everything with the celebrities, these impossible beauty standards.

How do you deal and how do you you stay so true to yourself in this chaos?

I love that question.

I do.

I actually like,

I watched a video recently, you know, while you're scrolling into social media and I saw this girl crying and it called my attention.

And she was crying because people were being

mean to her.

Because of her body, because she was trying to, like, I think she was trying to be Selena.

But I don't know.

I just like, it called my attention for that because I haven't cried for any comments, but I have felt hurt.

And I feel like I have doubt of myself.

You know, it's more like,

am I doing something wrong?

Like, what am I doing wrong?

Because this is who I am.

Like, I can't,

like, if they don't accept me how I am, but this is me.

Like, I just can't, I can't change it.

Like, I can't change that I don't speak properly English.

I can't change that I get hit very fast.

But that doesn't mean that people have the right to put me down because of the things that I can't change or the things that they want me to change, but I am comfortable with it.

So going through that, like at the end of the day, people are following you.

People are looking at you.

They are the followers.

They're like, some people love you for what you do.

Others are still following you.

but they are there and no matter what even if they say something they're the one watching you, you don't even know about them.

So, you are important.

And I hope that the person who is listening to this, I hope you know that you are important.

And it doesn't matter what they said, you're not going to change who you are because you

this is your essence, yeah.

I don't say, I don't know how to say, yes, your essence, yes, your essence, yeah.

And you don't need to change that to feed into other people because even I try to change.

I feel like I used to post more often be me dancing because I used to dance in front of the camera

and I and I stopped doing that.

And I'm going to start doing it again.

I'm going to start dancing again because I feel that so many people stop me from that because I feel like, why am I doing this?

I'm married.

Why am I dancing to people?

No, I'm expressing myself the way I...

I feel like I should be expressing myself.

And it makes me making me happy.

So you

happiness matter.

The other people just woke up in a bad mood and just decided to hate you for no reason.

So it's nothing that you are doing wrong.

It's them.

and they can just go and

go themselves you can say it you you are you you're unique you're unique and you know what why you're so unique because they're they are watching you yes

they're watching you so you're not on their pages you're not watching what they're doing so you are doing something wrong maybe this sounds so cheesy to say all the time But when they're fought, when you have haters, you're doing something good.

And it is true.

Because they're more than watching you.

they're hating you because you're having success.

Yeah,

oh, they don't have the guts to risk yourself to put yourself out there for the rest of the world to judge you, or to applaud you, or to congratulate you.

They don't have those bones, yeah, they're weak,

and so you hold the finger, and you just keep doing you.

I agree, no, I agree 1 million percent.

Do you?

I love, love your message.

Like you said, uh, you can't change your essence, you can't change who you are, are.

And it breaks my heart that so many people keep trying to change to copy a celebrity or even like to conform in a relationship.

I have seen couples on the 90-day fiancé because not all the girls that go to this show have your strength and your personality.

Many times they come from countries where like...

It doesn't matter which countries, I don't want to say it now because I don't want to get backlash, but they come from cultures where the women are like, you know, massacred, right?

They're not supposed to talk they're not supposed to do so they come to the united states with a guy and they start changing everything because they're terrified of not doing exactly what the partner expects them to do i've seen them many times on the show and it worries me because like you said people should be able to be themselves and not be afraid right like you like when you showed up here You, I cannot imagine, yeah, you being in Oklahoma.

I mean, you said you only lasted there three years.

I'm like, wow.

I don't know if I would have lasted there three days.

She's fucking strong as fuck.

So you made all your sacrifice as well.

It was not easy.

I spent many days.

This is something that happened to me when I was living in Oklahoma.

It was the saddest part.

And it was no cameras rolling that, but it was very raw.

I got married.

My husband, he almost didn't have the wedding day off.

And the next day of the wedding, I had my, I was there for like what, three months.

And I knew that I couldn't get out of the United States because of the visa.

Everything that you go through when you're on a K1 visa, you're not allowed to leave the country.

You have to wait until you have a green card.

And that's a long process to be able to get out.

And we filmed everything, though, you know, the beautiful moment, the wedding, you have everybody.

I have my friends living with me for like a couple of, I think, one week.

The next day, everybody left.

Yeah.

my husband.

Oh,

he went to work for a month.

The camera was not there, like, like, I got all of this since I arrived to the United States, and then it was gone completely.

Like, I feel like I was 25 years old.

I feel like I'm very mature right now.

And, like, at the point, no matter what, they're like, I'm new to all of this.

This is something that I have never experienced in my life.

I never experienced, like, I never expected to marry.

I have worked

in front of cameras before, but nothing like this.

And the beautiful wedding, and then not having my husband and my friends,

I was devastated.

I was depressed.

And you were alone in a place that you didn't have close friends.

Like, people weren't being supportive of you, right?

Because I couldn't drive.

Like, I was not, you can't drive until you have a driver's license.

So, so many things that were like that, that at the beginning, I guess I got there, I was busy filming.

So, then, when everything stopped, like,

it hit me.

It hit me how hard it was to be there.

So, my husband gone me in an apartment alone.

And to be honest, my English wasn't the best.

My English was terrible.

Like, I couldn't understand people and they couldn't understand me because some people are very

close-minded.

They don't understand accents.

And

so, I suffered from anxiety.

I got to take pills for depression.

Like, I have a cabinet of pills.

Like, I didn't know what my mind and everything was going through.

And like, the first years with Ross were like

hell, yeah.

But that's the thing, this is the part nobody shows, right?

The cameras, like you said, they want to show the drama, they want to show the conflict, of course, it's TV, but once they're gone, like you're a real person, this is your real life, trying to adapt in a new country, new city, no friends, no family.

And I think it's amazing that you stayed there, you didn't give up, you stuck

there through everything.

And I could like as soon, there's this is something that nobody knew, but I had a ring that was a white gold, and I'm very like I'm so independent, and I just feel like if I'm gonna give something to someone, it has to be from me, from my money.

And my husband gave me a credit card just if I need something, but I didn't want to use it.

So, I told his father to take me to a pond so I can sell the ring or buy a gift for my husband.

And he went with me, and I sold it, and it was a beautiful ring with the

emerald and I sold it just to buy him a gift because of Christmas because I wanted him to have something.

I feel like it's so many different things that nobody saw about me because I always saw this strong person.

And of course you get to a new place, you want to be excited.

And I was a party girl too.

I was coming with that mind fed.

Well, you were in your early 20s, you know.

I mean, come on, what do people expect?

That you're going to stay home, like go to church, go to bed at 6 p.m.

That's like crazy, stupid, you know?

And I would get the killer girl, like, you know, there was the scene that everybody was just like tequila, and nobody wanted tequila, and I'm like, I want tequila.

So, I feel like I wish, like, they would show like a different, a little bit, a different side, more like a huge, like, I feel like for being so strong, people think that I don't have feelings or like,

but like, in me, I don't allow myself to be sad.

When I start feeling sad, I'm just like, I don't have time for this.

Good for you.

I'm the same,

but you know, but there is a time that we need to come, yes.

I, but, like, I cry in private, like, people think my life is perfect, they don't know my personal problems because I'm like, fuck it, nobody wants to see, right?

But yeah, I cry in private, and then I wash my and then I show up like looking perfectly professional.

But, like you said, of course, we have feelings, we have stuff that nobody knows.

Everybody has battles, everybody has problems.

But I think you are an incredible, incredible example of strength because, and the fact that it's such a bad idea to judge people like by the looks or by the little bit you see about them, and it really drives me crazy when people do that to me or to anybody else.

And this is why I've been dying to talk to you ever since I saw the show, because I'm like, she was so massacred on TV, she was so criticized, she was called names.

I mean, this girl comes and nobody knows her.

And I love that you're putting the story out there because I think before we criticize anybody that we don't know, maybe sit down and talk to them and ask questions and get to know them.

Because, like you said, you were going through hell all alone.

And at the same time, people are posting all kinds of lies and crazy shit about your life.

You know, I really, really admire you.

And I am so grateful that you're opening up and telling us your story.

It's incredible.

No, and I think like with this new reality show that I did, I'm gonna show a little bit of a different side of myself.

And I'm very proud that I was able to do this reality.

I don't know if it's gonna hear at the end of this year, at the beginning.

What is it called?

Can you tell us?

The goat is the goat.

The goatest reality of all times on that show.

It's like a competition show.

It is amazing.

Yes, I'm the only Latina.

So I'm representing everybody.

Yeah,

and I did show a different side of myself

on that show.

Yeah, let me know.

Let me know

whenever you know that it's coming out because I want to watch it and I'll definitely put it out there for my audience.

But now,

many years went by.

You guys are still together.

Everybody has problems, ups and downs during the marriage, but whatever.

You're still together.

You have a beautiful son, and your career evolved.

Can you tell us how did you become a pro wrestler?

I mean, you kick ass,

you became a personal trainer, right?

You developed like this whole super successful career that has nothing to do with TV.

So it's not, again, another misconception.

People think, oh, these fiancés come here because they want the money from these Americans, and these Americans are victims of this horse, la.

And it's all bullshit.

I'm the money maker.

Exactly.

Because you're a boss bitch.

But, like, this is the thing.

Like, I'm the money maker, and I'm the one who moved this house.

That's why, like, this strong personality helps a lot because it moves people.

People depend on you being strong.

Stop.

Let's say that again.

Wait.

You are the money maker.

I am the money maker.

Yes, I am the money maker.

And to be honest, people, they don't have an idea, but damn, I am.

I love it.

You're kicking ass and you're naming names, and you're the boss.

So when you guys.

You know what I'm saying?

He's not

like, I feel like he's very proud of me.

Oh, sure.

I started from zero in here.

I have to start from zero.

And I became a personal trainer.

That's how it's like: 90-day fiancé, all the TV shows and stuff done.

I became a personal trainer because you are not going to be on a show forever.

So you guys make some money too.

And I became a personal trainer.

Plus, I love helping people reach their fitness goal and all that stuff.

I love training.

I love working out.

And then when I was in Colombia, i was watching this movie fighting with my family the uh one of the actors is the rock

and the main character is is saraya from uk she's a wrestler in real life and it showed this

and what like what she said in the ring when she there is a moment and that she's in the ring like why are you doing this why did you do this and you can get to be somebody else in the ring and that's like you you disconnect from the real world and i feel like i it hit me i feel like i want something like that i want something that I am a badass

and I can be something else, but I still my other life, like a, I don't know, like a secret superhero or something like that.

And I just talked with my manager, Dominique, and I told her, can you help me find a school?

Because I want to try.

I'm not a professional.

Oh, I love you.

You're so cool.

And you know what?

She sure did.

She did an amazing job finding.

My first coach was JB.

And I still talked to him.

He helped me a lot.

And I started trying him.

But when he saw me, he said, She's not coming back.

When I took my first bump, he said, She's not coming back.

Because

it's tough.

It is.

Oh my God.

Yes.

Honestly, I like to think of myself as a tough chick, but that's something I would not do.

I'm not that tough.

Honestly,

I have to say, my

very strong respect for the girls who

because when I started, I had bruises in my ass.

Oh my Jesus, I'm sure.

And I like my muscles hurt.

Even the muscles that I didn't know I have, they were in

the beginning when you're learning because you don't know how to take bumps.

Their boats, their ropes, you don't run them right.

Like, it hurts.

You have so many lines, like bruises, my goodness.

But now that I know, I cannot, I'm I haven't been able to go back to the ring because of my breast surgery, but I cannot wait to be there.

I want to see

so but do you want to like take this as a career and fight professionally or as a side hobby what do you have in mind with the pro wrestling are we gonna see in the WWE

I do uh it's hard I think it's hard to get into that oh I don't know I haven't reached out because I feel like for me I want to be super super prepared yeah and because there's so amazing talent in there that I just feel like I'm not there yet But I can see you.

Like, I can see you there because you have this personality.

Like you said, you keep going, going, going.

You start something from scratch and you go for the stars.

I can see your personality doing that.

I'm like, as soon as I get back in the ring, I'm going to start doing like crazy stuff because I already learned like the basic, but now I really want to fly.

I want to do a lot of crazy stuff.

I feel like

I'm going to do it until I can do it.

You know, until I have the opportunity to do it.

But But of course, I have like my personal trainer, my personal training business.

Um, I'm actually doing my own gear, so maybe eventually I'm gonna start selling gear for other wrestling.

I love to do that.

Um, so it's like I have a little bit of everything.

I'm not the kind of person who can set up for one thing.

I love it.

You're an entrepreneur.

You're an entrepreneur.

And that's like, I think we're desmystifying a lot of things, like that

you came here as an opportunist, that every girl that comes and marries an American, that's all they want.

And it's not true that just because you're from another country and you marry an American, you want to sit on the couch all day and take their money.

In your case, it's the opposite.

You're kicking ass and you develop an incredible career for yourself the past decade.

You're amazing.

I love it.

My goal in Brussels is: I want everybody to know my name because I want to make a name for myself in Brussels.

Someone that just started and me have the passion to do this that's me and like i can do other things

but this is something that it became like uh like i want to be good at this i want people to look at me and like no she didn't earn this because she's a tv star but because she's really good in the ring yeah and that's my goal i wanna i want to seal that like i want people to to think about me like that like she was able to accomplish that and i want girls and women to look at me and say you don't have to settle for one thing if you want to do do more than one thing go ahead amen everything you do everything you do do it because you love it and you like to do it not because you have to because you're gonna be miserable if you have to do something that you don't want to do i agree with you 1 million percent and i always say that women can do anything we want and yes you can have many careers you can be a wrestler and you can be a coach and you can be a wife and you can be this and you can be a mom you can be anything that you put your mind into don't let people put you in boxes.

If you guys don't know her work, please go check it out.

Your videos are sweet, they're funny, you have an incredible sense of humor.

Your Instagram is just your name, right?

Paula Mayfield.

I'm gonna put the links on all my social media for you.

And you are a personal trainer and a nutritional coach.

Do you do, if anybody listening to us, they want to reach out to you?

Do you do like Zoom classes?

Do you do Zoom coaching?

I was, I also, I was a Zumba instructor too.

I love that.

Girl, we gotta do a Zoom.

I love Zumba so much.

I teach some classes or Zumba.

I used to do like going to the house, and my friend had like 10 girls, and I was training them every Sunday.

But I'm going to start taking, I'm going to start doing some live classes because I love that.

I really enjoy it.

Yes, I'll be there.

I'm signing up.

I'm not kidding.

I'll be the first one there.

I'm showing up everything so it looks good.

And yeah, I'm gonna do that because I love doing what I have passion of, like, I that's my passion: staying active, doing little by little, like everything I like.

But you are a huge role model.

I was very excited to interview you, but I'm even happier because when you don't see someone and you don't know, you know, how they're gonna be when you talk to them, you tell the story, you are a million times even nicer and more fabulous than I thought you would be.

I am so grateful, and I really think you're an incredible role model to Latinas and to women everywhere, and to men, because your relationship with your kid is the most adorable thing in the world to watch.

And I think

you're going to raise an incredible man that's going to be respectful of women regardless of what they wear.

Don't tell me, Tana.

You respect women.

No, my son, like, oh, I love that boy.

He's everything.

He's the sweetest.

How old is he now?

Four.

He's four years old.

What's his name?

Axe.

Axel.

He's super cute.

You guys can see the videos.

You do tons of TikTok and you're on Instagram.

Paola.

Thank you so much.

This was such an honor.

And by the way, if you ever make your way to LA, let me know.

We can get together and do another episode here live, a Zumba class, anything you want.

It'll be an honor to have you.

Oh, thank you.

I'm planning.

I need to go to LA.

I have to.

I'm talking with my manager because she lives there too.

So I'm going to go.

Oh, there you go.

Yes.

If you do come, please hit me up.

Let's Let's get together, then we can continue this conversation.

I'd love to meet you in person.

You're awesome.

Thank you so much.

Thank you too.

I love having this

guy,

this phone call with you.

Yes, you're incredible.

We're going to drop the episode in a little bit.

I'll send you the link.

You're amazing.

I'm so honored to have you, Paula Mayfield.

Many, many kisses your way.

You're gorgeous.

And your smile lights up the room.

You guys got to go check out the videos.

Thank you so much, Paolo.

Bye, gorgeous.