EASY BREEZY SUMMER DATING GUIDE AND A WEIRD NEW DATING TREND

Okay, so summer is upon us, and most of us want to go out there and enjoy the fabulous weather that most places are having right now.

It's absolutely gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous, perfect out here in LA.

So I designed the easiest, easiest, easiest summer dating guide

ever.

Yesterday, I published the video episode on Spotify.

It's only four minutes long.

It's called Easy Breezy Summer Dating Guide.

So if you guys haven't seen it, go out there and check it out.

The video episode is available on Spotify only.

And today here, I'm going to talk about how to make summer dating very easy so you can avoid a lot of heartache, heartbreak, and confusion and make it nice and fun for everyone.

And I also want to talk about this new dating trend that I've seen myself.

And I double-checked with a bunch of my guy friends to see if this is really something going on out there, and they told me yes.

So, I want to tell you guys all about it.

So, I hope you enjoy this fast and furious, quick episode of Cat on the Loose because, yes, we do want to enjoy our podcast now during the summer when you're sitting by the beach, the pool, doing your workouts.

But most of the time, we just want to chill, relax, and enjoy the sunshine.

So, the episodes are going to be a little quicker, a little faster, but packed with super fun, cool information.

And as always,

before I get going, please remember: this is how you have a fabulous summer body.

Get your body, wear your favorite bathing suit, your favorite bikini, your favorite workout clothes, your favorite summer dress.

Go out there and enjoy.

It is never, ever, ever about perfection.

Please remember, it is always through the cracks that the sun shines.

So, I hope you guys go out there, have so much fun, be safe, and have the most amazing summer ever.

For those of you who are new here on Caron the Loose, this is a fair warning.

You are entering a 100%

organic zone.

This is a never edited, never scripted podcast.

This is completely, completely organic.

Whatever happens, we publish.

If you don't like dogs, if you don't like noises from the real world, this podcast is probably not for you because you know what?

Shit happens.

Sometimes the episodes are perfect, sometimes they're chaotic, sometimes they're messy, sometimes they're amazing, Sometimes they're noisy.

But this is really, really, really real life.

This is how we live.

This is how we roll.

But if you do love real, honest, raw conversations, you might enjoy it.

So welcome to our ever-growing worldwide community.

Welcome to our cat kingdom.

And you are entering now a real life podcast.

Okay, so we all know that dating can be very chaotic.

It can be a shit show.

It can be very complicated.

And I feel that the problem increases during the summer for many reasons, but obviously, why?

Because a lot of people are traveling.

So you might meet people that don't actually live where you do, a lot of people who actually just really want a summer fling, that will tell you they want a relationship, but they really just want to find somebody to bang during their vacation time.

So you got to be a little extra careful if you are dating with intention and you are dating trying to find a relationship, so this summer guide is obviously for people who are dating with the intention of having a nice relationship.

If you're dating just for a summer thing and say, I just want to have an overnight stand, I just want to have a quick fuck, I just want to have a good time.

Okay, great, go for it.

Just make sure you are really honest with the person you are hanging out with.

That's always, always, always our principle.

Nothing against one-night stands.

I think most of us have done it many, many times in the past.

But the problem is don't deceive anyone.

So if you're traveling and you really just want to like have fun, tell the person.

That's it.

Make sure you're on the same page.

Now, for all of you out there who send me messages all the time and are actually interested in finding a real true love and who knows, it might be this summer.

Summer makes everybody happy.

The sun is shining.

The bodies are out and about.

Skin showing.

It might be the perfect time to show the right, to to meet the right person for you.

So, here we go.

This is very quick and it's very simple.

And it sounds almost stupid, absurd, but I am telling you, I promise you, if you follow this easy, breezy guidelines, you are much more likely to meet the right person for you.

And you are for sure much, much more likely to not get your heart broken, to not have a lot of headaches.

So, this is based on,

like I said, tried

and it happened to me.

It's not theory.

I have heard millions and millions, not millions, but dozens and dozens and dozens of theories from all the experts I've interviewed the past three years during Caron de Loos and my guests.

And of course, I always listen to everything they say.

So, a lot of their advice is compiled in here.

But I have made every single mistake in the world of dating and relationships you guys can dream of.

And this is how I got to the place of self-love and self-respect that I am today.

But because I have made all these mistakes, here it is.

You don't have to.

Just make sure you stick to this guide.

one thing at a time.

Okay, so here we go.

So basic number one.

And this one is kind of sad because it should go without saying, but I know it's such a huge, huge issue to so many women all over the world, men too, but mostly women, that we have to talk about it for a second.

It is not your body type that will make somebody love you, stay with you, and respect you.

I see so many girls, so many women of all ages, and it breaks my heart.

They're comparing themselves with this crazy, crazy posts they see on Instagram.

They're comparing their bodies to the posts celebrities do.

If they're not incredibly perfect, they're like, oh my God, I gained five pounds.

Oh my God, he's going to see me in a bikini.

Guess what?

Look,

if only perfect girls with perfect, perfect bodies had happy relationships, only the top supermodels in the world would be happy, right?

Which obviously it is not the case.

The right person for you, they will love every little bit and piece of your body.

They will adore you inside and out.

So, if you're sitting home right now thinking, oh my God, I have not reached my goal.

I need to lose five more pounds.

Oh, you know, I have cellulite.

So many girls tell me that, oh, I don't want to put a sexy bikini because I have cellulite.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Almost everybody in the world has cellulite.

Even if you're a gym rat, you might have cellulite.

Forget

about the stupid details.

Most of the time, it is about self-confidence.

It is about how much you love yourself.

And that's going to reflect how the world sees you.

So, yes, of course.

Do I think we should take care of ourselves?

1 million percent.

I think that's basic.

And I said that before I interviewed Max Lugavre.

If you guys haven't listened to the interview, please run, go there and listen.

He's an insanely successful best-selling author.

He has a podcast called The Genius Life.

He writes amazing cookbooks, The Genius Food.

And he said that on my podcast, you have to take care of the base first.

Obviously, the world sees us from the outside in.

The world doesn't see our character, our heart, our ethics.

So yes, first impression matters big time.

But that being said, it's not about perfection.

If you're self-confidence, if you're healthy, if you like what you see in the mirror, it's very, very likely that that's how people are going to see you.

So if you have a crush on a guy, if you have a crush on a girl, or if you don't know anybody and you want to go out to the beach, you're on vacation, you want to go to the pool of your hotel, please, by all means, rock that bikini, rock that bathing suit.

Stop worrying so much about what people think about you.

Enjoy your freaking life.

I'll give me as an example.

I'm Brazilian.

I grew up in going to Brazil in Brazil every freaking summer, so many vacations.

I love, love, love the tiny, tiny Brazilian bikinis.

The back of the Brazilian bikinis is super tiny.

I think they're insanely sexy.

I love the tanning line.

It's been my style ever since I was a teenager.

People in the United States don't wear the same bikinis.

Many times when I'm out in places with my friends, they're like, oh my God, your bikini is so teeny.

I don't care.

It is what makes me happy.

I don't care how old I am going to be.

I'm going to rock my bikinis as long as I am healthy and being able to go to a pool or a beach.

Guess what?

I'm going to freaking do it.

And this is what I say to people.

If you like it and you want to look, great.

If you don't like it, if it bothers you the way I dress or how tiny my bikinis are, look at someone else.

And this is the attitude I really, really hope you guys jump into the summer with.

Self-love, self-acceptance goes such a long way.

If you are dating, if you're considering dating, anyone that criticizes your body, if you're too skinny or if you're too fat or if you're this or if you're that, please run

the other direction.

We don't need any freaking criticism from people we date and from our inner circle.

I am sure whoever loves you out there listening to me, they love you no matter what.

We all have been there.

Again, even the top supermodels in the world have been there.

Some days you feel incredible.

Some days you feel a little chubbier.

Some days you're bloated.

Some days you're not.

Pick a workout that you love.

Pick an activity that you love.

Do it for yourself.

Do it for your health.

Don't do it because you want that guy or that girl to like you.

That's not going to make them like you.

They're going to like you if you're the right person for them.

So please, I'm begging you, enjoy this freaking summer.

Rock

any outfit you want, ignore the judgment, and again, the right partner for you they will say, Man, that girl is hot, man, that guy is hot, I really like her, and it has nothing zero to do with your weight.

Okay,

this one again, it has happened to me, and it has happened to other friends that I know.

Beware of the summer love bomb scam.

What is the summer love bomb scam?

It's very simple.

You meet someone on a dating app or anywhere.

In my case, I met someone just the beginning of last summer, the very beginning of June of last year.

I met this guy on Bumble.

And

I'm a very picky dater.

I don't date a lot because, again, I'm dating with intention.

I want to be in a nice relationship.

So this guy was so, so firm, so firm.

He kept looking me in the eyes and saying, I am so ready for a relationship this is what i want no doubt at all and he kept looking at me in the eyes and you remember how like every expert says well if the person is constantly making plans with you planning dates with you telling you how much they like you reassuring you that's a great sign Well, not always, because in my case, yeah, the guy kept saying, planning date after date after date after date.

A month became two, two became three, three became four.

And

even in the beginning, he would literally tell me, I am so sure about what I want.

This is what I want.

This is so amazing.

I am so happy.

La la la la la la la.

And we fit all the boxes.

We got along in every possible area, every activity, everything that I loved, he loved to do.

And we did so many things together.

He was all over my life.

So I thought, okay, that's it.

Amazing.

I can't believe I finally found a nice, mature guy that really knows what he's want.

Dun, dun, dun, dun, and it happens to so many girls.

Four months into it, all this romance, all these fun plans.

He met all my friends, he met my clients.

We traveled, we did this, we did that.

We went to the beach.

He had a motorcycle, which is something I love.

He bought me a helmet, so we would go on these motorcycle rides every weekend.

We did so many incredible things together.

I'm thinking, I am in this comfort zone and I'm invested in this relationship.

Wow, let's see where this takes us.

I want to get to know this person more.

And I started feeling so safe because he kept reassuring me over and over and over again.

Yes, I'm so happy.

This is so amazing.

We get along so well.

This is going so great.

So, you know, and you start letting your guard down, you're like, wow, I can't believe I finally got what I deserve.

I finally got my prince.

I finally got a mature, serious man.

And then all of a sudden, on the phone, four months into it, at the end of September, he called me and like

three-minute phone call.

You know what?

That's not what I want.

I changed my mind.

Okay.

That's not goodbye.

Broke my heart in a million pieces.

I was insanely shocked.

I think it took me weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks to process like, what the fuck?

When you think you're finally in a loving, committed relationship, that this person is really invested as much as you are.

What the fuck?

And as the weeks and months went by, and of course I interviewed so many experts, I talked to so many friends.

One of my girlfriends

had gone through the exact same thing with the guy, Shimer on Hinge.

Finally, I found out what the fuck happened.

And this is what happened.

Major love bomb.

Some dude thinks, quote unquote, that he's ready for a relationship.

He starts looking at the dating apps and he has a picture in his mind of the woman he wants.

In my case, he was like, oh, I want a blonde and I want someone successful.

I want somebody strong.

I want somebody independent.

And all the things, all the boxes that I checked for him as he checked for me.

But in the end, once it starts getting amazing and he has everything he wants, the temptation of so many choices out there, oh, the bumble choices, it's feeding my ego.

Like he said to me, all these girls want to date me.

Oh my God, the temptation of wondering what else is out there made him drop the appreciation for our relationship, drop the appreciation for me,

stop respecting me, everything that we were building and say, you know what?

No, I need to go and see what else is out there.

And it's much more common than what you guys can dream of.

So

now you're asking, well, how do I prevent that from happening to me?

Because yes, ouch, I'm not going to lie, it's very hurtful, especially if you're like me and you're such a selective dater.

I take such a long time until I decide, okay, this is the person that I really want to date.

Like when I decided, when this guy told me I want to date you exclusively, I want to be with you exclusively, he seemed so certain of what he wanted that his certainty spoke volumes to me.

He made me feel so secure and so confident that I was like, okay, I'm definitely going to give this guy a shot.

Obviously, I wasn't in love because we were getting to know each other, but we did so much.

We had so many deep conversations.

He always mentioned to me, Oh, it's so amazing that we communicate so well.

We did so many things during those months that I felt safe.

And I was obviously horribly mistakenly, I wasn't safe at all.

So,

how do you prevent that from happening to you?

It's actually kind of easy.

So, pay attention, get a pen and paper, or rewind and listen again.

If you don't remember everything that I'm saying, you meet someone, even if you guys click on all the boxes, like we did,

even if everything is really important, you find in that person, and vice versa, and you think, wow, that's it.

This is going so, so great.

Beware.

And this is how you're going to know if it's not, if it's a love bomb or not.

Take

your time.

It sounds stupid, but what does that mean?

In my case, I kept making time for him because I kept thinking, well, he's so nice to me.

He's my guy.

He's my man.

Of course, if he tells me he wants to spend Saturday afternoon with me, I'm going to go spend Saturday

with him.

Of course, I'm going to cancel all my friends and go with him.

If he wants to have dinner Tuesday night, of course, I'm going to stop work and go have dinner Tuesday night.

Whatever he wanted to do, I was available for him.

And it backfired because if the person is not sure if they like you or if they love bombing you, and you start being too available,

they are going to think, oh, this is too fucking easy.

I'm going to go out there and play the bumble game and see what other fish are out there in the sea.

And that's what happened to me.

I made a huge mistake.

of putting him as a priority and putting my friends, my appointments, even my work sometimes, other events that I wanted to go to on the back burner to put him on top of my list.

So don't do it.

If you meet someone this summer, even if he clicks every box, take your time.

What does that mean?

It doesn't mean playing games or like, oh, I'm not going to go out with you.

No, no, no.

Yeah, if they invite you on a date Friday night, you want to go, by all means, go for it.

But it means don't always say yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Don't put them on your priority, put them on your schedule.

That's a huge difference.

And again, I learned by making this mistake, by getting my heart shattered.

I was insanely disappointed.

Of course, I was disappointed in him because he ended up being like the bumble cliche, the dude that is like, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready.

But he's not really ready.

He just wants to see everything that's out there and feed his ego, which, by the way, a very, very savvy relationship expert wrote on her Instagram yesterday, coincidentally, she said, guys that say that want to feed their ego, they're obviously masking their own insecurities because real men are looking for one amazing woman.

They don't need a bunch of women to feed their ego.

So yeah, when my ex-boyfriend told me that phrase, oh, I'm still looking on bumble because I need to feed my ego, that was the biggest red flag in the world.

And I shouldn't have ignored it.

So yes, meet someone, click, click, click.

That's amazing.

We all want to find the right person for us.

We all want to have that prince, the princess, but take your time and remember this: don't make them a priority.

Continue on with your life, with everything that you love, and include them in your schedule slowly.

That way, they will appreciate you more, and hopefully, it's not a love bomb.

And before I continue, the next ones are really good too.

I want to make a quick stop to mention that

one of the most important things that we forget to do when we're single is self-love and self-care.

And I truly believe that enjoying your body, even when you're not in a relationship, is a huge part of that.

It makes me very, very sad that talking about sex, about masturbation is still such insane taboo everywhere, even on social media.

Like if you post about using a vibrator, if you post about

masturbation, if you post anything sexual, they block the account, they block the post, they say, oh, this is dirty, this is disgusting.

You can buy prescription medication online without a doctor's recommendation, but you cannot buy a vibrator on Instagram because they don't let the brands link the store.

That's how stupid it is.

So it's okay to stuff yourself with chemicals, with disgusting medication.

But when we're talking about masturbating, having amazing orgasms, even when we are by ourselves, which is one of the healthiest things you can do for your mind and your body, no, that's bad.

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And speaking of my beloved Brazilian bikinis, for those of you who saw, watched my quick video episode that I uploaded yesterday on Spotify, Easy Breezy Summer Dating Hacks.

I was wearing one of my favorite bikinis of all times.

It's this hot, hot pink bikini.

It's so sexy.

And it's by Pretty Please with a Z Shop.

Pretty Please is an online clothes store with amazing beachwear, super sexy clothing, the gorgeous, gorgeous, sexy Brazilian bikinis.

And I absolutely love their stuff.

The minute they post, everything gets sold out because the bikinis are to die for cute.

So I encourage you guys to go out there and check it out.

If you want to know where I get my beachwear on Instagram, it's pretty.

please with the z p-l-e-a-z shop underscore and you can also shop online pretty please.com get your brazilian bikinis and go have fun

okay now continuing with our easy breezy summer dating guide this one is really important I don't know if you guys believe in manifestation and in energy I really really really do I believe everything we manifest comes to us everything that is yours comes to you and I really believe in putting out there positive amazing energies and energy and I believe in the power of words words.

So, this is what happened.

I was out with a group of friends a couple of weeks ago, and one of my friends, she's divorced, she's a single mom, and she's gorgeous, she's really beautiful.

But we were sitting down talking about dating, and she said a few times, she was like, Oh my God, there is no guy out there for me.

I know for a fact there is no man out there for me in this universe.

Maybe on another planet, maybe in another life, there is no man for me, period.

She said it so many times at one point.

I was like, listen, whatever.

This is what you're putting out there in the universe.

This is what you're getting back.

If you made that decision that there is nobody in the world good enough for you, guess what?

It becomes your reality.

And all my other friends looked at like, oh my God, that's so true.

You decide your reality.

You decide what the universe is bringing back to you.

So you can be the pickiest bitch in the world.

You know, you're entitled to that.

You can have the longest laundry list of demands in terms of what you want in a partner.

That's fine.

I actually think all of us should write down a list of negotiables and non-negotiables in a partner.

I do that for myself.

But there's a big difference between doing that and keep repeating to yourself and to your friends, well, why am I going to date?

Nobody's good enough for me.

There is no guy the way I want.

There is no guy that matches my criteria.

And that's the result she's getting.

She never dates anyone because she decided her reality.

I hope, after what I told her, she changes her mindset

because you need to change your mindset to attract the right people for you.

So I do this little exercise and I do it every morning.

And a lot of manifestation coaches recommend it, a lot of dating coaches recommend it.

Like if you're walking around, I don't know, if you meditate in the morning, whatever is your little morning ritual, make sure you repeat the mantra of what you want to attract.

And that goes for guys and girls.

I deserve love.

I deserve a wonderful partner.

I am attracting the love of my life.

I am attracting the partner that is right for me.

I am attracting someone who will love me and adore me and appreciate me.

This is what you need to send out there in the world.

So, to my friend, if you listen to this episode, you stop with this negativity.

You stop making this decision for yourself.

Because as long as you're doing that, that's the reality you have.

And this is why you are not finding dates at all.

And much less the perfect partner for for you.

Let's manifest positivity only.

Let's increase that this summer.

Let's make that a major summer goal.

Okay, so now this one, mostly for guys.

So, guys out there, please, please listen and pay attention.

But it applies to some women as well.

I have some guy friends, they're single, they're very successful, some of them very wealthy, all of them crazy handsome.

So, they're, we're talking about high value men.

They have everything going, beautiful bodies, they work out, healthy lifestyle, amazing careers or a pile of money in the bank because they sold the business, whatever it is.

And they tell me, I want to find a relationship.

However,

when they write a dating profile, they're using a dating apps.

They're not dating with intention.

They write everything wrong.

For example, let's say if these guys are in their 40s, like 42, 45,

they put their age range for a girl.

They put like 21 to 30, 31, 21 to 29, or

Latins, you know, whatever type they're attracted to.

And the other day I was talking to one of my friends that does that, and I said, why in the world would you do that?

Why, if you want a relationship, why would you keep searching for girls that are too young?

They still don't have their shit together.

A lot of them don't even have jobs.

Most of them have zero money in the bank.

So, of course, a lot of them are looking for sorry, free meal ticket.

Or why would you talk to someone who lives in another country and would want a green card?

You know, complicated things.

You know that these women would never be a match for a nice, serious adult relationship.

Why do you keep picking the wrong dating pole?

And they don't know the answer.

Obviously, that's the kind of woman they would be attracted to, but this is not dating with intention.

And yes, a lot of girls do the same.

I have successful single girlfriends that tell me, I want to get married.

I want to find a boyfriend.

I want to find the right partner for me.

But if you look at their dating app, they're like, oh, I only want

25-year-olds to 35-year-olds, and he has to be six foot tall, and he has to be super thin, and he has to be a millionaire, and he has to drive this and that car.

And I'm like, What the hell are you doing?

You know, maybe.

So, the first thing I would say is: if you, and we are talking about here, remember, this is dating tips for people that want intentionally date and find a relationship.

So, if that's what you want, you need to use your brain.

Who is

realistically a person that will potentially be a partner for me?

So, guys, if you are 45, if you're 50, if you're 52, hello, stop acting like a freaking immature teenager just because there are a lot of options, quote unquote, on dating apps.

Date with intention.

Who can potentially be a good partner for me?

Like I said, physically get a pen and a paper, write it down.

What are your negotiables?

What are your non-negotiables?

But let's be honest.

Do you really think if you're 49, if you're 52, if you're 45, if you're extremely successful, if you have all your shit together, you want a partner to travel, you want a partner to take to business dinners, you want a partner that has something going on in her life.

So do you really think a 21-year-old, a 22-year-old, as cute as she is,

that doesn't even know what the hell she wants to do, or if she's a waitress, or if she's a flight attendant in Mexico, do you really think those girls are going to be a potential partner?

If the answer is no, okay, then go look at your dating profile and adjust accordingly.

Remember, you are going to date what you ask for from the universe, like we just talked about, but of course, from the dating apps.

So create your pool in the dating apps accordingly to what is good.

and realistic for you.

For me, when I'm doing my dating profile, I am super tough on the dating profile, as you should be.

Why?

Because, like I said, I'm dating with intention.

So, anybody that doesn't fall within that category, I don't want it.

I don't care if it's the most ripped, gorgeous, bread-pit-looking dude.

If he's a surfer, if he's some dude that doesn't have his shit going on, if it's a guy, like I said, that surfs all day in Malibu, as much as I love, love, love the beach, I don't want to date a surfer that doesn't have a job and smoke spot.

Do you guys understand what I mean?

So, date with intention.

So, go back to your dating apps,

look at what you picked, look at the age range, look at the category, look at the characteristics, look at the common interests, look at geography, because a lot of people forget about that.

But that should be on top of our list, unless you're willing to like pack up and move.

Realistically, if you meet someone that lives in Mexico, if you meet someone that, if you're in California and you meet someone that lives in North Dakota, like if you're not willing willing to go there, like, why would you even get started?

So make realistic bullet points and go back there now before the holiday weekend, before the summer,

rolls in, and double-check if your

dating

profiles match realistically what you need to find in your partner.

If you need help, fixing your dating profiles, if you need help creating amazing dating profiles, send me an email info at canonthaloose.com.

No, I think it's yeah, sorry, my

assistant is saying no, it's contact at catonthaloose.com.

And we have an entire team that helps people create incredible dating profiles, and we'll be happy to help you.

Or, of course, text us a message or WhatsApp on our business, WhatsApp 305-332-0338, and we'll be happy to help.

But, yes, double-check on that because that's a huge mistake that a lot of you guys are making

and speaking of double checking your dating profiles and making sure you're dating with intention this is one thing that also comes up a lot i understand that a lot of people out there don't love using social media don't want to have social media or have private social media or speaking of some of my super wealthy friends they don't have social media at all this is what i say

most women and a lot of men as well nowadays because there are a lot of crazies out there right we all know that.

So, most people dating with intention, they want to have some kind of a trail about you.

If you are ungoogable, if there is nothing, nothing, nothing out there about you, to some people, you can be the coolest guy in the world.

You can be a self-made millionaire, as I know some of you guys are, some of my friends are as well.

For a lot of people, it's a red flag.

Like, who the hell are you?

There is nothing about you out there.

And this is what I have to say.

You can create a presence that is not invasive to your personal life but everyone this day and age should have some kind of a trace on social media if you don't love Instagram that's fine you don't have to love Instagram but put something on LinkedIn where do you work who are you write something out there or if you have a business website or yeah have a tiny small instagram account i gave this idea to one of my friends friends the other day.

He's insanely private.

He doesn't like taking photos.

He doesn't like taking videos.

He doesn't like doing social media, but he wants to date.

So I said, okay, then create an Instagram account and showcase your interests because you want to date someone that has the same interest.

So if you love going to the beach and you like here, we go to Malibu almost every weekend.

Show the beach, show your favorite restaurants, show your bars if you like dining out.

If you love, love, love working out, if you love the healthy lifestyle, show a little bit of that.

But But some kind of a social media presence is very, very important.

Again, if you want to date high quality, high value people, if you want to date with intention,

99.9 of the people out there are going to want to know who you are.

So again, use social media to your advantage.

You don't have to love it.

You don't even have to like it.

I have clients that we do social media for that don't like it, but you have to have something out there.

It's a necessary evil.

That's how the world is going.

If you're a ghost, if you don't appear anywhere, it sounds shady.

You know what?

Because unfortunately, and I'm not saying that's your case out there listening, but unfortunately, some married dudes tell people they want to date.

Oh, I don't have any social media, but that's just because they want to fuck around, you know, or creepy dudes that were in jail or they have a criminal record.

They're like a million reasons why people say, I don't have any social media presence.

So if you don't want to be in that category, if you are squeaky clean in terms of your record, and you are a nice guy, you are a nice girl, put something out there.

It doesn't matter if you like it.

It's a marketing tool.

You need to do it.

It's that simple.

Again, if you need help, we have an entire team that specializes on helping people create an amazing social media presence that doesn't have to be invasive to your personal life.

Send us an email, contactcandondalus.com, WhatsApp 305-332-0238.

But yes, again,

this is a good checkup list before your summer is on full swing.

Go back to your social media accounts and say, huh, are there my photos current, current?

Girls, guys complain all the time that you use photos from 10 years ago.

Why in the bloody hell would you do that?

When somebody meets you, you want them to like you for you, the way you look today, today.

Remember the beginning of this podcast?

It doesn't matter if you're five pounds fatter.

It doesn't matter if your hair was blonde and now it's black or red.

Be you, be you.

You want the guy that meets you, the girl that meets you, to like you for you.

So please, this is a great time to be strong, be brave, be organic, like the podcast, Cat on the Loose, and put your best photos out there, but recent, recent, okay?

Nothing works if you start on lies.

It doesn't matter how you look 10 years ago.

Your partner needs to love you the way you look right now.

Okay, this one is an idea that I actually had.

I've done it several summers before, and I think it's very, very helpful.

If you're single now, as much as you want to meet someone, this is a great idea as well, because I know dating can be very stressful, time-consuming, and put a lot of pressure on people.

And I know a lot of mostly girls, yeah, you put so much pressure on yourselves.

Like, I want to meet someone, I want to meet someone.

So, take a breath.

Maybe take a break.

Like, if you look at the dating apps three, four, five times a day, how about you look at it less, a few times a week?

And this is what you do.

Even if you don't want to do like the complete man diet, if you don't know what the man diet is, go back and look at the man diet episode.

But

give yourself, make yourself a priority this summer.

This is a great project that I love doing.

Last summer, I was dating someone that I thought was my guy the entire summer.

Obviously, it was a huge mistake.

This summer, I'm like, okay, me first.

Am I dating?

Do I want to meet people?

Of course, but I am putting myself first.

Like, focus on you first.

And it's a lot of fun because summer is three months, right?

And you can see so many amazing results if you put yourself first for 90 days.

So,

how?

Very easy.

Think of a project that maybe you put on the back burner that you've been dying to do.

Or, let's say, I want to be in better shape and you never have time.

Great.

Now, if you're not dating all the time, if you spend an hour on dating apps, or if you go on two, three dates a week, maybe you go on one date a week, all that little extra time, you put all that effort and all that energy towards doing something amazing for you.

So, if you wanted to go to the gym more, or if you wanted to try a new yoga class, a new Pilates class or spend more time outdoors or adopt a dog, whatever it is, start a podcast, make more money, get an extra job.

Now there are so many cool, fun, extra jobs during the summer.

Whatever it is, put you on the top of your priority list.

Don't put dating on the top.

Because you know what?

Many times when you relax and you're not even thinking about it, that's when things happen.

You can meet people organically as well.

Let's not forget that.

I know so many people out there are focused on the dating apps because, of course, it opens up this whole world of people that otherwise we would never meet.

But remember, maybe if you're walking out there more or on different streets, different places, maybe if you take a new class, maybe if you shop on a new grocery store, you take on a new hobby, you might meet people that maybe you wouldn't.

Get a new gym membership, pick something that you really wanted to do.

Today is a great great day.

It's Friday.

It's just before the holiday.

The summer is here.

So, you know what?

I always wanted to go to that yoga class of my neighborhood.

I'm going to go for it.

You never know.

Maybe your next date, the love of your life might be there.

Put yourself first.

Give it a try.

Focus on something that is really, really important to you.

And I'm telling you, it feels so good because whether or not you meet your perfect someone during this process, even if you don't, 90 days from now, come Labor Day, you're going to be like, wow, it feels amazing.

I am so happy I did this for myself.

Not last year, the year before, I did that for me.

Like the entire summer, I was like, you know what, this is going to be the summer of me.

I finished a book that I had been wanting to write for years and I never had time because every single night I would go get a glass of wine, listen to music and write, write, write, write.

I finished a book.

I got in better shape.

I moved back to California, which is something that I wanted to do forever.

So I did so many things that moved my life forward.

So, yes, when you finish listening to the podcast, write down on a piece of paper.

What are a few things that I have been wanting to do so badly for myself?

And I've been putting it off.

Do it for you.

And yes, I'm not saying go.

completely cold turkey on dating but maybe just for a while dating shouldn't be a priority maybe put dating on the back burner or second.

Make you a priority this summer.

And I promise you, you're going to be so glad you did.

Before I let you guys go, I'm going to tell you about this cringy new dating trend that has been going on.

It happened to me, it happened to so many of my girlfriends.

I double-checked with my guy friends if this is really something that they've been doing.

And it is.

But before,

I want to say thanks to Private LA, top luxury lifestyle concierge worldwide for having us, hosting us in Palm Springs the past few days to shoot a few episodes, summer episodes of Cat on the Loose.

Private LA has an incredible curated portfolio of luxury homes all over the world, not just Palm Springs, but for your summer vacations, for corporate events, family gatherings.

If you do love going to Coachella, this is the time to book your house.

They have incredible, incredible, gorgeous to die for homes out there.

thank you so much for having us prevey la if you guys want to check out the videos of the homes look at my instagram cat on the real cat on the loose my personal instagram cat zamutu their instagram is underscore preve la p-r-i-v-e-e-l-a

and you can also look at their website preve la.com incredible incredible homes we had so much fun in palm springs was amazing thanks so much again for everything

okay so this is the trend.

And I personally think dating could not be lazier than that.

But this is what a lot of guys are doing out there.

And if you girls have been on a date like that, please let me know.

So you meet a guy again, wherever, dating app, whatever it is, and they invite you on a date, quote unquote, but they suggest like

a very simple place, let's say a coffee shop, near where they live to make it as simple as possible.

But here's the catch.

And this is why they do it.

Because it's almost like a job interview.

It's not like, let's say they meet Catherine and the guy's like, wow, I really want to take Catherine on a date.

No, they do that to a bunch of women.

So these people, these guys invite like five, 10, 15 women a week, even more.

to this one specific location that they pick that is insanely convenient, very close to their house and cheap.

Because, of course, it would be impossible to take 5, 10, 15, 20 women a week on a proper date.

So, this is what happened to me.

One of my best friends is my neighbor, like literally lives around the corner from me.

So, I'm always, always there in his building because sometimes I pet sit his dog.

So, going in and out, in and out of this building, I used to see this guy also going in and out, in and out of this building with his dog.

So we always used to say, I'm going to call him John.

So I always used to see John out and about with his dog.

And we would say, hi, how are you doing?

Hi, how are you doing?

And I was like, huh, this guy's kind of cute.

Interesting.

I wonder who he is.

I wonder if he's single.

Coincidentally, a few weeks ago, I'm going through Hinge once in a blue moon.

I opened the dating apps.

I don't have patience for it.

I was going through Hinge, and there is John.

And we matched.

And he's like, hi, neighbor.

I can't believe you're here.

I'm like, yeah, hi.

So he's like, let's go on a date.

Let's try it out.

And I said, sure.

And he said to me, let's do a coffee date.

And he picks this coffee shop, which, yes, it's like literally like two blocks from our buildings.

And I said, sure, sounds good.

No problem.

So he picks a coffee date like two o'clock in the afternoon, four o'clock in the afternoon on a Thursday.

And I'm like, okay, that's fine because I already know the guy anyway.

I like informal dates.

And I made a joke with him as we were planning the date via text.

I said, oh, I'm excited because at least you're going to see me looking nice.

Because every time we cross paths, I'm in my workout clothes.

I'm walking Phoenix.

I'm all disheveled, no makeup on.

And he was like, oh, same, me too, because every time you see me, I'm in my workout clothes walking my door.

So I'm excited.

And I was like, yeah, me too.

So in my mind, I'm thinking, okay, it's a coffee shop date, but of course I'm going to look super cute.

So sure enough, I put a super cute dress, I do my hair, la, la, la, I show up at this coffee shop and here comes John looking like shit, like he just walked his dog.

He didn't look like he was dressed for a date at all.

So we get a coffee and we sit outside and we're talking.

No, no, no, no, no.

I mean, I didn't feel any chemistry.

I didn't feel a clique.

I thought he was a little weird for many reasons, but we spend an hour together.

And I'm like, you know, it was great seeing you.

Very nice.

And we'll talk later.

And he looked at me and said, yeah, you are a really nice person.

And I said, thank you.

So are you.

And he said, Yes, I know.

And when he said, Yes, I know.

I was like, Okay, who the hell says that?

But anyways, I said bye and I left.

Okay, didn't think anything of it.

And he texted me again.

He said, Oh, it was so nice seeing you, but I definitely didn't want to go out with him again.

Turns out, because he lives in the same building as my neighbor, a few days later, he sees my neighbor and he's like, Oh, I'm on my way to a date.

And he tells my neighbor that he is taking the next date to the same coffee shop at the exact same time.

And then, him and my neighbor, who is one of my best friends, talking, yes, he that's what they do.

This guy basically lines up a bunch of dates, like pretty much one a day.

If you guys can believe that, he has a lot of free time in his hands.

Every single day, he takes a different girl to the same coffee shop and he orders iced tea and buys them a coffee.

And then that's what he said.

Yeah,

he makes it cheap, he makes it convenient, and that way I can interview, quote unquote, a bunch of girls in one week to decide if one of them I want to take out again for dinner, whatever.

Now,

and then I asked my friend, I said, is this really what guys do?

And my friend said, yes, believe it or not, it is a trend, especially rich guys, they feel that there are a lot of girls that they want to have dinner dates, fancy dates, and they don't want to do that.

So, yes, we pick a spot near our place.

So beware if they say, let's have coffee, let's have ice cream, whatever it is.

And yeah, that way we can date a bunch more in a much faster, shorter period of time.

My opinion, I think that's lazy as fuck.

I think that's disrespectful as fuck because basically you're treating all these girls the same.

You're not even like...

custom making or planning a date.

This dude didn't even go through the trouble of like dressing, right?

Put some jeans, a t-shirt on, something.

hello so it's pretty obvious that he doesn't give a fuck and a lot of guys are doing that

so beware especially now during the summer because guys apparent not all of them i know a lot of guys are listening to the podcast now and saying no i'm a gentleman yes of course we want to date gentlemen we want to date men that plan proper dates and show up looking like they're on a date because we put a lot of effort to show up looking like we're we're on a date.

So it's fine if it's a coffee date.

Nothing against coffee dates.

But pick a nice spot.

Ask the girl what she wants.

Ask if it's close to where she lives.

So now you guys know if you meet a dude online and he tells you super quickly, like example, I live in Beverly Hills.

Meet me here at this coffee shop.

And everything is in his territory.

Fast for him.

No planning.

Doesn't ask you any questions about what you want, where you want the date, what time is good for you.

Beware, okay?

Because you definitely don't want to go out with the serial lazy dater.

This is the trend that all the girls are being careful about now.

Beware of the lazy dater.

So ask questions.

And guys,

don't be a freaking lazy dater.

It's ugly.

It's lame.

If you like a girl, yeah, plan something nice.

I'm not saying it doesn't have to be a dinner.

I used to love dinner dates nowadays.

Yeah, I agree.

I don't know if I want to sit at a restaurant for two and a half hours with somebody that maybe I don't click with.

So I kind of like coffee dates, but make it feel that both of you want to do a coffee date, that it's a coffee shop that both of you enjoy.

And again, dress the part.

I truly hope you guys enjoy your summer.

I do hope you date.

I hope you find lots of love.

But most of all, I hope you find people that respect you and admire you not just your body but your mind I think that's so important

especially nowadays with social media right the young people the teenagers girls in high school get so impressed I don't think the celebrities a lot of them are sending body positivity messages I think some of the images are absolutely absurd so fake so phony absurd beauty standards so guys if you're the father of girls encourage them to love their bodies to love their size no matter what to work out and be active for their health not to make a boy happy remember that before you criticize your dates and women in your lives because you know women are very impression impressionable and they remember that that shit so i think it's up to us adults to keep spreading body positivity so let's make this a summer of a lot of body positivity put on your baby put on your bikini go out there and enjoy very very much keep sending me your amazing messages if you enjoy this podcast please share with your friends give us five star reviews this is what keeps us going this is what keeps all the platforms um showing us more and more and more and i am so proud and so humble and so honored to see our ever-growing worldwide community thank you for being a part this cat kingdom is for all of us it's a 100 judgment free zone for all of us to talk openly about sex, dating, and relationships.

So, if you have any stories whatsoever, any feedback you want to share, I am always, always here for you.

Thank you so much.

Have an amazing weekend, and I'll see you guys very soon.

Love you.