The Swedish One

Cat on the loose is on a row, counting down to 100.

So to get your week started, I brought a super special guest, my friend Amanda.

Hi, Amanda.

Hi, I'm so excited.

Thank you so much for returning the favor.

Yeah,

last week I was on your podcast and it came out today, guys.

You got to listen to it.

It's so much fun.

Three people on the couch.

Yes, yes.

It was so fun to have you there, and it was a great episode.

Yeah, I've been listening to it this morning, and it was so fun.

And I just got thrown back.

Yeah, it was amazing.

I was listening to it this morning, and I was laughing in my car.

You guys are amazing, and we were talking about

a little bit on your on your podcast.

So, I want to bring that subject to my podcast.

You're from Sweden, and you've been here in LA for like a couple of years, right?

Yes, so uh, I've always had this curiosity, and I have my own theories about it.

I think many times dating has a lot to do with cultures, like differences in cultures.

So I remember I asked you a little bit, is dating in Sweden super different from dating in the United States or is it kind of the same mess?

I would say that it's very different, but I also, and this is going to be so controversial and I don't want your

listeners.

Yeah, I don't want your listeners not to like me, but I also think,

especially in Sweden, it's also a little bit of a matter of a

like a class also, because I think that when you have really good manners, the dating experience is a little bit more elevated.

But if you don't have or was brought up with great manners, the dating is not that great.

Really?

And you were telling me that there are some differences like when you go on a date with someone,

it's not like here that the man normally feels like he's the one that has to pay for the date yeah yeah no in sweden it's completely different swedes take so much pride of being you know we're equal men and women

so it's like we always split the bill usually so when i got here first when i started dating in america i was like oh my god is he gonna pay that sound that feels so weird and now a couple of years later

i don't want that now you're like oh that's that's nice so if you go out to the guy in Sweden, he never says, oh, please, let me treat you.

No.

Really?

That's so interesting.

And especially not if the first date.

So, I mean, usually what happens is, let's say you go out and you usually in Sweden, you also don't go out on this big dinner dates.

The first initial step is to go and grab a coffee.

So then maybe he like goes first in line or you're first in line.

So you have to pay for yourself.

And then he is, you know, giving his or

you know it's funny you're saying that i just remembered it just brought out a memory when i was in college i dated a guy from switzerland and i remember we said let's go watch a movie and i because coming from brazil and and here oh yeah brazil i i mean i haven't been to brazil but i know but even here and i remember yeah he did that he was in front of me and i thought he was gonna buy two tickets he was like may i please have one ticket?

And then he was standing there before me, and I was like, Oh, I guess I have to buy mine.

Oh my god, now I remember that.

Oh, yeah, I mean, yeah, that's it.

So, that's how it is, yeah, especially in the beginning.

I think it's more

when I mean, of course, you can get a drink if you're in a bar or a nightclub because they want to get laid.

I suppose maybe then they buy a drink for you

well like here yeah yeah just like here but okay so girls guys and girls pay for their for separately yeah is it always the man that invites the girl on a date or or do women there feel more like hey do you want to go out with me yeah yeah no in sweden it's uh men or women can do it it that's it doesn't matter and we don't usually

Because Americans say date a lot.

And when I first came here, I didn't really know what it meant to be dating dating or like being in a relationship.

Just putting the word dating on quotes.

Yeah, I just, I don't know.

And I still,

now I kind of get what dating is, but I didn't know what it meant before.

Because in Sweden, it was more like when you're seeing someone, you're almost in a relationship, even though you haven't said it.

But what if you never met them?

Like, what do you call it?

I mean, you mean like if you match on a dating app?

Yeah, like if you meet at a bar or if I introduce you to a friend.

Like I say, hey, this is my friend John, and then John's like, oh, I want to go out to the manda, she's cool.

I don't even know if we say that, to be honest, or I just, I just think that, and we also just have sex first.

Oh, yeah, you were telling me, I want to, let's elaborate on that one, because that one is very interesting.

So, can you please explain how that works?

Yes, so

I mean,

usually

what has happened to a lot of both my friends and myself, not gonna lie, I'm guilty.

in sweden it's like we you know you you meet someone and you feel attracted maybe it's you going out or you want to go out so you maybe you want to like hang with them and then you go out you get drunk and then you have sex i mean you usually are drunk because it's you know you get more relaxed yeah yes so then you get drunk you have sex and then after that that's when like the dating starts or the relationship or you know and if you don't like the sex so let's say you had sex and one of you, my dog is licking her feet.

I'm sorry.

No, he's so cute.

He's excited because you're here.

Usually he's chewing and more behaved.

Oh, no worries.

He's so cute.

I'm sorry.

So, okay, you went out to the guy and you had sex and one of you didn't like him very much and then you decided you don't want to date him.

So how do you, you just don't answer, do you ghost them or do you tell them?

oh this is let's just be friends not gonna happen i mean because it's so equal i think we're just like no i didn't feel it.

But I mean, would you continue dating someone if the sex were like off?

Probably not, because I think chemistry is super important.

I don't want to date someone that I don't want to kiss, that I don't want to touch, that I don't want to sleep with.

Yeah.

But here.

I don't remember if I talk about this with you, but here in the United States, many, many, many times, and I interviewed experts about it.

If you go out on a guy with a guy one date, then on the second date you have sex,

most of the time they think, oh, she does that with all the guys, and they don't want a relationship with you.

And the experts, yeah, like I had matchmakers that I interviewed, dating experts, they all have this theory.

If you want somebody to get into a relationship with you, don't sleep with them on the second date.

Oh, wow, I had no idea.

Oh, I know.

Yeah, I'm going to send you some of my episodes.

I don't agree with that.

No, I've argued with my some of my guests.

I'm like, well, but yeah, I have been guilty of having sex on the second date because I wanted to know my chemistry.

That, and you know what?

If the guy turns out to be such an asshole that, oh, she had sex with me, I'm gonna ghost her.

I prefer to find out.

Yeah, I mean, okay, I'm gonna tell you a little story, and it's about

before I was working with

this guy,

and

he was a lot older than I was didn't think about it and then we went out on like a happy hour with the company afterwards and we got drunk

and we knew that there was some some spark there so we went out and then we ended up in bed like we've never been on a date we only seen each other at the office and I mean after that night we ended up in a three-year relationship wow so he he definitely did not ghost me after that.

Yeah.

Look, of course, there's exceptions to every rule.

And I think from what we talk about, maybe in Sweden, people are much more.

They don't think sex equals

she's a promiscuous whore.

Like a lot of men here think, oh my god, you know, she fucked me.

I agree.

I think this is silly.

The same way, if guys have sex with a bunch of girls, nobody thinks nothing of it.

If a girl has sex with a bunch of guys, they label us.

That's the problem.

And I mean, it doesn't matter.

It's not like we're having, you know, sex with,

it doesn't mean that we walk around and just have sex with everyone that we might date.

But it's a common way to actually start dating is to, that it starts with sex and then it evolves to something.

Yeah,

I like that theory a lot.

And I think it's bizarre that all these experts say, actually last year, remember you guys were asking me if I interviewed the matchmaker.

I interviewed this lady, the first matchmaker I interviewed.

And on my show, she said, if you want some lunch, I have a serious relationship with you.

wait months and months on end before you have sex with that person because yeah basically she said withhold the vagina

because it's the only way they're gonna respect you you gotta create an emotional connection and

i got bombarded with messages like this woman is crazy.

Like, my men best friends, they were like, Look, even if I love Amanda and she plays this game with me month after month, because this lady said, Wait, like three months, four months, three months, yeah, I know, right?

And like, my guy friends, they were like, Guess what?

I'm gonna go and have sex with somebody else if she's,

yeah, I mean,

I would think so too.

That's yeah, yeah, that was her advice.

Okay, then I'm uh, an American slut.

No, I know.

I never, I don't think I ever, and I would not want that.

No.

I mean, how many dinners and you know, movies, whatever.

And also, can you imagine just dating a guy?

You know, you date for months, you have a great, great time, and then you date him for six months, and then you have sex with him, and then you have zero chemistry, and it just feels weird, and it's not what you thought, and you have different things going on, and then like a year of your or six months or a year of your life is gone.

Exactly, like, why the hell did I wait so long?

This guy sucks in bed.

Yes, yes,

we have, like, we have, we have the right to do the test drive, right?

Yes, you test drive a car and then you buy it.

I love it.

Can you please take me just with me?

Oh, yes, I'll promise you.

It's beautiful, man.

And I heard that the ratio of men to women is pretty big, right?

There's a lot more men than women, or that's not true.

I'm not really sure, actually, but maybe.

It's not,

Maybe, yeah, I'm not sure about it.

But I just know it's a lot of beautiful single men.

Yeah, and a lot of gorgeous women like yourself.

Oh, stop.

You guys have modified DNA.

You're so sweet and you're beautiful too.

And then you walk here on the street, you're like, oh, people call me beautiful.

Yeah, why?

I wonder why.

Everybody wants to be from Sweden.

Yeah, I mean, but you could go for Sweden.

You're blonde.

People, you know, a lot of people ask me from Russian.

Oh, really?

I don't know if it's because of my accent.

I get asked that a lot.

Really?

Are you Russian?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, because of accent.

Yeah, because of the accent, but I don't know.

I don't think I look Russian.

I don't know.

No, I don't think so.

Yeah.

So, okay, so you, you moved here to LA two years ago, right?

About, no, actually two years ago.

Yeah.

Okay, two years.

What do you think about the dating scene here?

Because it must have been a shock.

I know you've been here before you moved.

Yeah.

But now then you moved.

You're like, okay, I'm gonna live there.

Was it like a shock in dating culture?

Oh, yes, definitely.

I mean, first of all, I first felt a little bit uncomfortable.

I was like, okay, he's gonna come and pick me up and he's gonna go take me to a restaurant and like the first time we meet and then, you know, and he's gonna pay.

Like, that was awesome.

What do I have to do?

But now I feel very comfortable with that part of the dating.

Like, now, if he says, okay, meet me there, I'd be like,

can you just come and pick me up exactly

i love i love exactly i love when the guy comes pick me up me too me too the gesture yeah exactly because it has nothing to do with like oh yeah i deserve it it's nothing about attitude it just shows that you're you know you're thoughtful and you're like okay i can come and pick you up yes and because if it's he that him that you know invites you out he should take you out from the door

completely and we keep saying saying that it's not about the money.

No, even if it's to go, like you can have, like I said, a cappuccino or whatever kind of day to like a glass of wine.

It's, I love old-fashioned gestures.

I like guys that bring flowers.

I like guys that open the door.

I like guys that, yeah, even if it's pizza, whatever.

And I think that's what I meant when I said that sometimes it can have something to do with the class because I think that people in Sweden that has been raised very with really good manners knows this they know the flower and they you know they do the gestures of coming picking someone up or you know being very thoughtful

so I know there are some unicorns in Sweden that does that too but most of it most of the Swedes know yeah I think like you said it's about how they're raised it's about how you're brought up yes some men just know exactly what to do how to treat a lady and honestly nowadays some guys, it's not even about paying.

Of course, in Sweden, I understand it's the culture, but like here, they think, oh, like said, oh, just meet me there and whatever.

And I think, you know, it's nice that they make an effort.

Yeah.

I don't want to date some guy that doesn't make an effort.

That's the thing.

And I think the gestures are so important here in America, like, especially in the beginning.

Because

if you're going to go on a first date, I know that we never met and maybe you don't know how you feel about me and all of those things and how much you want to, you know, how much you want to invest in it.

But I really think it's important.

I really think it's important.

Do it from the start.

Set the bar really high because that's just impressive.

And when we've been together for a year, maybe I'll

maybe I'll meet you there, but not the first date.

I could not agree with you more.

So you moved here, you started dating.

What do you think about the LA dating scene?

Have you dated anybody nice at all or just the famous cripples?

She's thinking, she's thinking with a big smile on her face.

She's like, let me think about this.

Okay, yeah.

So, I mean, when it comes to LA, I don't want to defend anyone, but I mean, in the beginning, I also believe everything that everyone said.

So, people were like, Yeah, I'm an actor.

And I thought it was so cool.

I'm like, oh my God, you're an actor.

That's so cool.

That's okay.

But then I realized, no, he does Uber Eats.

You know,

And like, yeah, he tries to be an actor, you know.

Yeah, like, you know, there's a saying, every waiter in LA is an actor.

They were just waiting for the big break.

Yeah.

And I mean, I was like, oh my god, you're an actor.

That's so cool.

And yeah, so I got a little bit blown away by that.

But then I just realized, I'm sorry, but a lot of it is trash.

Yes.

So have you dated anybody that was worthwhile?

at all or so far nothing no

no you have not no i haven't found the right person.

No, not here in LA.

Not yet.

Are you super, super picky?

Yes.

Yeah.

But everyone should be.

Everyone should be.

Yeah.

Right?

I think I'm getting peakier and pickier and pickier.

Like, even I think the good thing is I've been learning my own lessons.

Like, when I listen to season one of my podcast, season two, I cringe.

I'm like, Catherine, I cannot believe you put up with this shit.

I cannot believe you accepted this kind of treatment.

So it makes me like set the bar higher and higher and i agree with you we all should do that i really think so because it's like if you're gonna if you're gonna find someone that you hopefully like gonna connect so good with so maybe you get even get married and you spend up you know spending the rest of your life with someone wouldn't that one be very very you know important that that person has certain qualities exactly we don't want to make a mistake right and plus you've never been married before no so you want to do it once and do it right yeah i mean trying at least.

Yeah, exactly.

Okay, so you've been dating a bunch of whatever Uber.

Oh no, that was just one date.

One date.

Nothing.

So let's talk about the dating apps.

Yes.

Because I think the whole world talks about dating apps.

We talked about it off the microphone.

I don't like them at all because, in my experience, most dating apps, I don't care which, even which dating app is, I think most people, they are just players.

They just want to have quick sex.

Do you find your experience similar similar to mine?

Oh yeah, definitely.

I mean, I remember, and I mean, a lot of them maybe use excuses, but really, there are some people that even write on their profile when you're swiping no on them, it says like, not looking for anything serious.

It's like, why are you on a dating app?

Well,

obviously quick sex.

Yeah, I think that's a good point because Tinder, from what I know, when it started, it started more like a quick hookup app, right?

Like oh, yeah, maybe.

I think so.

It started more like quick sex and then it evolved, and they claim it's a dating app, but I completely agree with you.

I think most people on Tinder just want quick sex.

But I started seeing this phrase on Bumble.

Really?

There is a little thing.

I don't know.

I'll show you.

They ask people, do you want a relationship?

Do you want a date?

Do you want friendship?

And then there is the option of, I don't know.

Oh, wow.

I don't know.

Yes, I'm not sure.

I don't know what I want.

So

exactly.

So when I, sometimes I'm swiping and I like doing it more for fun than actually to meet someone.

Oh, yeah.

But sometimes I'm swipe.

Oh, this guy looks good.

Okay.

Harvard educated, six foot tall, lives in Malibu.

Okay, everything sounds good.

And then all of a sudden you read there,

relationship, I don't know.

I'm like, okay, I don't want to be with some dude that doesn't know that.

And I think in a way that means I don't want anything serious.

Yeah, I don't want anybody to.

And it's such an easy escape out of it if it just doesn't turn out to be good.

He's like, no, I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship.

And then he said, I don't know.

I think usually when a guy tells you that.

Oh, yeah, that's no.

No, that's no.

That means he doesn't want to have a relationship with you.

He's not ready with a relationship.

Exactly.

This is like a major red flag.

Another huge red flag, by the way.

And it really irritates me.

Like when I'm talking to a guy on a dating app whatever text and it's like oh life is so short we should live in the moment

let's not like usually translation if a guy tells you we should live in the moment they mean let's fuck Channa let's not wait until we're dating

I mean that's the thing and I mean when it comes to and I see this in a few of my friends that they're very you know they they try to read in too much into men while i'm the complete opposite he you know, he has to tell me because I believe, and I'm sorry if I offend anyone, but I believe that if a man wants you, he will prove it, show it, say it.

You know, you will not, you will don't have, you won't have to wonder if he likes you or not because it's going to be so clear.

You are so right.

I made this mistake before.

I don't know if you did.

I made me too.

Of like, go ahead.

I mean, I've been doing so many mistakes when it comes to that.

You know, I've been like, oh, well, he said he was going to call, but he didn't.

But then he called two days later, so he still thinks about me.

And then he posted this story on Instagram.

It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Don't overthink it at all.

I agree completely.

And I made the mistake of actually chasing, like,

going, where are you?

Do you want to go on?

Do you want to do this?

And now I would never do that again because I completely agree with you.

And I think women all over the place need to wake up.

Like, if a guy likes you, 1 million percent, you're going to, they're going to find you.

They're going to call this bullshit about, and it happened to me a million times, like that they tell you, oh, I lost my phone.

Oh, I am so busy.

We are all insanely busy, but like, even if he goes to the bathroom to pee

and he likes you, he thinks of you, he's going to send a message, right?

Or before he goes to bed.

Yeah, yeah, definitely.

And I mean, that's the thing.

I don't think we should overthink it.

I mean, in Sweden, though.

I must say, it's not that obvious.

That's also like a cultural.

What do you mean?

In sweden we're not because here in america i know this is a cliche but in america you say i love you very fast to people that you're yeah but in sweden we don't do that like we don't say those very affectionate words until it's been a long long time so i think we're more

you know we don't we don't really just go around and say like oh you're beautiful you're wonderful you're this you're that really you don't complement each other no like in sweden no one said that i was beautiful so when someone says it here i'm like who are you maybe because they're more not saying that you're common no you're gorgeous but i mean maybe because so many people look more like you

and here you're so rare yeah i mean maybe but it's just we don't go around and and give each other these kind of compliments that guys

like to to give here i remember i was actually out the other day and this guy comes up and he he we talked for like bare bare minimum, and he starts saying all these things about me.

Like, I really like your, you know, you're smart, you're funny.

And I'm like, dude, you don't know me.

So you can't say that.

So you got offended a little bit by the compliments.

Yes, a little bit.

I think it's my Swedishness.

I'm like, but you don't know.

Swedishness.

You don't know me.

You don't know if I'm smart.

You've only seen me for five minutes, you know?

So, I mean, it's, it's just,

it's, so those compliments, I think it's a little bit weird too.

But so in Sweden, yes, then there you can overthink if he likes you or not, but here in America, no, you will notice.

So, and how, but how about like if you go on a date to the guy and he calls you again and you start dating, do they text you?

Are they affectionate in bed, or it's matter of fact,

colder?

Do you say nice things in bed, or you don't either?

We do, but it's not like not in the way that Americans does it because Americans are, you know, really good at doing that.

Do you think so?

Look at her face.

Do you have a good American in bed story?

I definitely do.

I definitely do.

Do you want to share?

Yeah.

Okay, go ahead.

I'm not afraid to share.

Yeah, because, oh, so it's, it wasn't a good date, but it was a good sex story.

Yeah.

Okay.

So I can't wait to hear that one.

So this was, but this was not a really

a dating situation.

It It was just this guy

that was a little bit younger and I never thought anything about him.

So apparently we were out on multiple dates, but I didn't get it that it was dates because he was younger than I am.

I thought you guys were just hanging out.

Yeah, I just thought like, oh, he just wants to hang out with me.

And so I didn't think about it.

And then one night when we were out and about and had some tequila, stuff happened.

I'm going to tell you this.

That was the best sex of my life

yes i can

i can recommend how old was he i think he was 23.

no he's too young to be a cougar i mean

so why didn't you keep dating him because he was 23

Why didn't you keep banging him?

That's a good question.

I think he got freaked out and me too.

So we just, it just fell off, you know.

And the thing with good sex is, unfortunately, it has to be a little bit mysterious for it to be really, really good and passionate.

So you can't really know too much about each other.

So you can't really hang out that many times until it gets boring, you know.

So you only had sex with him once?

No, a couple of times.

That's it.

Oh my God.

It was good sweet and short.

Short and sweet.

Okay, I'm going to take a super quick break and we're going to come back and I have a few sex questions for you, if you don't mind.

I don't mind.

I love Amanda because she's game for everything.

She's one of my gals.

We'll be right back, guys.

Let's just do it.

Okay, so I'm back here with my friend Amanda.

She's the co-host of her own podcast, Three People on a Couch.

Yes.

And I was a guest there last week and I had so much fun with you and your guys.

And you guys can listen to it, Three People on a Couch.

It's on Spotify, right?

Yeah, it's on all the platforms.

It was so fun to have you there.

We loved it.

Yeah, I loved it.

I was listening this morning and I was laughing so hard in my car.

So now you're here.

And not only are you a podcaster and you're gorgeous and you're living in LA doing all kinds of fun stuff, all kinds of projects, you are willing to talk about sex dating relationships, which is amazing.

Yeah, of course.

And we're trying to figure out the cultural differences and the difference, the cultural aspects of dating in Sweden as opposed to dating in the United States.

In my mind,

and I've said that before on my podcast, and sometimes I get messages from people like, oh, you said all Americans sucking bad.

That's not what I mean.

I mean, in general, I think men and women, in American men and women, are uptight about sex.

Do you agree?

I do agree.

I do agree.

I mean, just the thing we talked about that

women get labeled, and even though we do get a little bit labeled in Sweden too, but not at all like this.

Like you said, I had no idea that you were supposed to wait, like that you were a slut if you have sex on the second date.

It was love.

It's not like I know, well, but the thing with sex, I think, for me coming from Sweden, my view of sex is just it's a feeling and it's a moment.

Like it doesn't matter if I go out with you for 10 dates and I still don't want to have sex with you, we're not going to have sex just because it's the 10th date or the fifth date or the second date.

But if I meet you and I feel it, and we both feel it, and it's passionate, why not just grab that moment?

I don't know.

Listen, I agree with you a million percent.

And I don't like this, like I said, the

people that came on my podcast and said, Oh, you gotta wait if you want to have a relationship because no man is gonna respect blah, blah, blah.

I think it's baloney.

Because, like I said, if you meet a guy, if he's a nice guy, I'm not talking about this douchebags, comebacks that lie for sex, but like if he's a nice guy and like and you have chemistry,

nobody wants to wait three, four months.

You want to find out if you have chemistry, right?

Yeah.

And if you have zero chemistry, they become your friend.

That's the thing.

That's the thing.

It's all about this chemistry, and you don't know.

I mean, if you were to date a guy, like I said, for six months and then you have sex and then you realize it doesn't work out.

Yeah, whatever.

It is a waste of time.

So let's talk about sex.

Do you think the men in Sweden in general are more liberal in bed, are better in bed?

Do you think it's the same?

I mean, now I had some time to think about that question.

So I'm going to say, yeah, I think they are.

I definitely think they are.

Better.

Yeah, and more liberal.

And it's just

they're very conscious of like, what do you like?

What do you want me to do?

And they just also, I feel like they're better at feeling what the moment is,

you know, what the moment is going to be like.

Because sometimes when people,

I haven't had sex with that many Americans, to be fair.

It's not many.

But I must say, though, that when people ask me here, it's just, I don't know, just follow the rhythm, what this moment in general just requires when it comes to sex.

Because sometimes, yes, you just want to have.

very passionate and you know very you know a certain kind of sex yeah and then maybe you're in a a different mood one other day and you want a completely different kind of sex so i don't think it's easy either to say like oh i like this and oh i only like this because it's also a bit of the chemistry and the feeling at that moment and so but after you moved here you dated americans do you like dating americans or are you trying to find I'm not saying somebody from Sweden here, but is that, do you have a preference when it comes to the certain culture that you want to date?

that's a hard question like i yeah it really is because i do like some parts of the american culture too i mean when it comes to sex i think that when you're in a relationship that is when sex can really grow that's when it can really become a really good sex and you can become experimental and you can start you know experience you know everything but when it comes to what kind of culture I would want like that I'm not sure I'm not sure we'll see you know, I asked you that because after

I was married, blah, blah, blah, and I started dating.

I decided I was like, I want to date a Brazilian because they're great in bed.

And I think it's super hot to have sex in Portuguese because they like talking.

I like talking dirty in bed.

Do you?

No, I actually don't.

Do you like

silent sex?

I think so.

Or just like moaning type sex.

Yeah, it doesn't have to sound like a porn, you know.

Because that's the thing.

Like, sometimes when you have sex, like when the people I've had sex with,

you can tell if a guy have watched too much porn.

Really?

I never had that.

That exists.

No, yes.

They talk dirty in a way.

They talk so much.

Yeah, you know, when they say like dirty things, like, yeah, baby, you like that?

I'm like, well, you know.

And then, you know, they say so much.

I wish you guys could see her face right now.

No, but they say very harsh things, and I'm like, I know.

Yeah, no, very harsh, no, but I like a little dirty, you know.

I basically, I guess, what I'm trying to say is I don't, I don't like when the guy's completely silent in bed.

No, I've had sex with partners, a few that they were just like, I didn't even know, are you coming?

Are you hard?

Are you enjoying it?

Because they would just be like completely

silent.

Yeah, I never had completely silent sex.

That's so weird.

No, I've never had sex.

Like, make a little sound, right?

Yeah, I mean, a little bit.

Just you a little bit.

Yeah, but I don't think I'm too much dirty talk now.

Except when

you have a relationship and you're very comfortable with each other and you start experimental, you know, being experimental, because then you can,

you know.

Well, anyways, I'm trapped finishing that story.

So I had this thing, I'm going to date Brazilians because they're great in bed.

But the downside is they are horrible at being loyal, they lie, they cheat.

Oh my god, they're chaos.

And sure enough, that's what happened to me.

So, then I changed my mind.

I'm like, I'm never going to date a Brazilian dude ever again because I have the worst story of the Brazilian boyfriend.

It's there in season one.

If you

gotta listen to my Valentine's Day horror story, Amanda, yeah, it's like a nightmare.

But, anyways, so now I'm open-minded again.

I'm like, well, does it really matter which culture?

Or it's more, like you said, more like the way the person is raised?

Yeah, I mean, when it comes, that's so funny.

I actually thought about it, I was dating back in Sweden, I was dating this Russian guy.

So we've been kind of in a relationship for,

and we lived together.

I remember I was living with him for maybe three, four months before I found out that he was married.

Really?

Yeah, so she was back in Russia.

What's he doing with Sweden?

Visiting?

No, he just knew there had taken a tech job because Sweden is very high tech when it comes to...

How did you find out?

It was actually his friend that came to me and said, Amanda, I really like you and I need to tell you something.

So that's how I found out that he was married.

But

I mean, to be honest.

Were you pissed?

I mean, yes and no.

But I was in a really good spot in my life.

You know, when you just have so much much confidence, you're just like, huh, he's an asshole.

And I'm very happy that I didn't waste a little more time.

You're so cool and chill.

Yeah, I mean,

so I was just like, hmm.

So I didn't actually fight with him.

I didn't yell at him.

I just like.

took my things.

He wasn't at home.

I took my things and then I left.

Good for you.

That's the way to do it.

Cause that's, we, I've talked about that in the past.

I believe in karma and I don't want to date anybody marriage or anybody else.

And I had I wasn't dating, but I talked about it just a little while ago.

I was working on a movie set, and one of the actors was kind of flirting.

And that's how stupid I am.

Like the whole day, the whole week we're shooting there, he's flirting with me.

Like, you know, when I was on a scene, he would be taking pictures of me.

And I'm like, thank you so much.

You're such a nice friend.

And then he invited me to dinner.

to talk about work.

And I swear to God, I'm such an idiot, I believed it and two bottles of wine into dinner we end up back in his hotel room and of course i'm drunk i admit it and we end up having sex in the middle of sex i find out he's married

oh no my good in the middle of that you know why because he no listen to this this cripple his fantasy was he started like oh don't make noise because my wife is in the living room.

Don't let her listen.

Say it to me.

Say it to me.

I swear to God, repeat it to me, repeat it to me, baby.

Oh, she can't hear.

What

I'm just like, okay, I kid you not.

That is insanity.

I know that.

I okay, I have nothing that I can talk about.

Never ever.

I mean, I have some bad stories, but that one, wow.

I know.

I always have, like people tell me, I always have like the worst stories, like the craziest shit.

And you know, when you're drunk and you're in bed, so I I was kind of like trying to understand, is this really happening?

Like,

so I gave myself a moment, and I started three o'clock in the afternoon.

I was putting my clothes on, and I just left, and then I was like, What a pig!

Yeah, that's that's really weird.

I mean, but the fun part is I remember now, one time I was on one date with this guy, and I should have seen the red flags because he was like, Yeah, come to this place, it's really close to his place.

And he didn't pick me up, so I was like,

okay, and then we meet there.

He did pay, so that was nice of him.

And then he says, Can you please like give me a ride home?

What?

Yeah.

And I was like,

okay, sure.

Because

he just followed me to my car.

So I thought, okay, he's just going to follow me to my car.

So that's fine.

So he follows me to my car.

Then he's like, is it okay if you take me home?

I'm like, well, your car is here too.

So won't you take your car?

He's like, no, no, no, I just come tomorrow and grab it.

Was he drunk?

no not that drunk and so i but i took him home and why i don't i was just like i i was so over the date so i was just like okay whatever just as long as you get out of my sight very soon i'm okay with was it far no it was like five minutes so then i drive him and then he says come up on a on a cup of tea and i was like no and then he says oh come on and you know he really like tried to nag me into coming and then i said no and then he said why don't you trust me i'm like like no

i just met you and you're getting creepier by the meeting yes so then he said this and this is the greatest thing ever he said good you know what i was just trying to test you if you were one of those

I was just like, I'm so over the state.

I just want to go home, get out of my car.

If you're one of those whores that would come up.

Yeah, I was like, oh, I just wanted to test you.

And I got to say, I have more respect for you now.

I'm like, what are you talking about?

Oh, my.

And then he

douche.

And then he said,

can you please take me back to my car?

No freaking way.

Can you take me to become my car?

Oh, my.

Yeah, he takes the cake for like the doucheiest douche.

Just because it's so just like, what?

And guys, stop like trying to make it like, oh, I just tried to test you.

No, I know you did not.

I know you were trying to get me in bed, but it didn't work.

And I'm sorry.

Oh, my God.

No, but he has balls like making you drive him there and then he's the balls to ask you to drive him back to his car.

Please tell me you slammed the, threw him out of your car and left.

No, because he wouldn't

leave my car.

He wouldn't leave my car because he was sitting in the car.

Oh my gosh.

So I couldn't just drive off.

So I was like, okay, so I drove him back.

yeah i know you are a million billion times nicer than me i would have to tossed him out around get the out of my car i'm gonna call the police i know i would not have dreamed that guy back but i i should be

i should become a little bit more like that because you need that here in america because you never need that in in sweden though like no but in sweden if you say like no they're like okay okay and then they back off and no one is in your face i used to be I think I used to be like a major pushover.

Like, and like I said, doing my podcast, listening to the episodes, that's how I learned.

I'm like, you would let people step all over you, mistreat you, cheat on you.

And I think I put up with it, put up, and I've heard this sentence and I agree.

I don't know.

I read it somewhere.

You know, people treat you the way they think you let them treat you.

So if they get away with treating you like shit, they're going to repeat it over and over again.

So now I'm like, no,

you know, you either treat me with so much respect and the way I like it, the same way I treat other people, I don't put up with it at all, especially like on dates like that.

Is this guy out of his bloody mind?

I know.

I can't even, yeah.

And I mean, I've kind of given up on dating apps because I've had those.

weird kind of dates.

Yeah, no, me too.

I don't.

Sometimes I look at Bumble and honestly, I don't have time.

So it's like maybe a few minutes, just more like for fun.

I deleted Tinder a long time ago.

I never tried Hinge because somebody told me it's based on your Facebook friends or something.

Yeah, I don't know.

And now I gave you the invitation to the league last week.

And let us know if you like it, if you meet somebody nice there.

Yeah, definitely.

I've looked at it now.

And I mean, the profile looks good so far.

Yeah, because it feels like.

I'm sorry guys.

And this is nothing to do with money.

This is to do with, you know, this has to do with your ambition.

because it feels like I have quite high ambitions and I

came a long way in Sweden, but I don't want to date someone that has roommates in their 40s.

No, I know.

I just not because, not because, oh, you can't afford your own house.

No, it's just you don't have the ambition of getting your own wage.

Exactly, you nailed it.

I agree with you 1 million percent.

And I think when I was on your podcast, your co-host asked me that.

Yeah.

Oh, if you meet a guy and he's great in bed, blah, blah, blah, but he doesn't have his shit together and he's struggling.

Nothing against him, but I agree with you.

I don't want that in my life because even as a woman and my whole story is out there in my book, a lot of people know about it.

I lost everything and I'm starting over.

I managed to pay my bills, support myself and my dogs.

So yeah, I think a partner should, you know, have his shit together, basically.

You're absolutely right.

I don't want a grown man living with roommates.

That's just like shitty.

Yeah, I mean, and

that's problem, I think, because, and yeah, my point is that the league at least have like reasonable people on it that has a little bit higher ambition.

So that's why I really like it.

It looks really promising as of now.

Yeah.

Okay, so I lost track of what we were saying.

We were talking about sex.

Yes.

So.

Did you answer if you thought sex was better here?

Oh,

with Americans than Swedish or?

Yeah, like I said, I think Swedish.

Swedish men are probably better,

but I haven't had sex with enough Americans, to be honest.

Yeah, to know the answer.

Yeah, I'm like, like I said, I kind of changed my mind.

I'm not even sure anymore if it matters where they're from.

I think what you said, it matters so much more

their upbringing and their values.

So yeah, I totally changed my mind about the cultural thing.

Nowadays, I don't look at where they are anymore.

But that's the thing because because I'm Swedish, so I have a certain culture, but you know, after living here in only two years, I feel like I kind of changed as a person and my values.

Um, because if you if you met me two years ago and I was gonna go out and date, I would be like, okay, well, you know, it doesn't matter, he doesn't have to pay, we're gonna split it, you know, I would be like that.

But then now, when I'm living in this American culture, I really see that, okay, this is the way Americans in this culture treat women.

So I want to be treated the same way.

Yeah, the gesture.

Back to the set.

We have a few more minutes.

So let's ask a few more fun sex questions.

Do you think size matters?

Well, that's such a hard question.

You think so?

Yes, I think so.

It doesn't have to be huge, but I mean, obviously, step one, you need to know how to use it.

That's the most important thing.

But

yeah, kind of.

A little bit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I mean, yeah.

Yes.

Okay.

Yes.

Yeah.

Make up my mind.

I agree also.

I don't think it's so much like it has to be huge.

It shouldn't be super tiny.

But I think adults,

men after a certain age, should know what to do with their bodies.

Right?

Don't take a girl to bed and then you get there, you're like,

like your co-host said, do you want to see it like a limpid dick?

No.

and that's the thing, also, because I mean, if you have a really big penis, great for your guy, but

you, if you don't know how to use that one, that can hurt

a lot.

Yeah, if you don't know how to use that one, yes, absolutely.

It matters, but not the way guys think it matters.

No, many times, guys think, oh, I have to have the biggest one, you know.

But I think it matters more, like you said, you need to know your body and what to do with it.

Oh, yeah, definitely.

Have you ever had multiple orgasms?

No,

it's interesting that you said that because I had not either, and I actually thought that was a myth.

Oh, yeah.

I didn't think it really happened in real life.

But I don't know.

I thought I was like, what do they talk about?

Yeah.

I'm lucky enough if we have one.

Yeah, exactly.

And on my last sexual experience, and I'm not going to say when it was, I'm going to save that for episode 100.

I ended up up having major, major multiple orgasms, and it was an out-of-body experience.

Wow, it was insane!

And I

am wondering, you know, like now I want to find out if other women felt that they actually know and know how it feels and also how to explain it.

So, you don't think you ever experienced that?

No, I don't think so.

No, but I mean, maybe something to test out when it comes to sex toys.

Do you have a do you use sex toys?

Yes.

Do you see?

because maybe that could make it happen or or a guy but yeah or maybe the sex toy with the guy yeah maybe yeah ah so in sweden do you guys use sex toys a lot because again here it's huge taboo huge taboo most americans don't like to use sex toys i didn't know that yeah

like i said i have girlfriends that when i talked about vibrator they were like oh my god yeah what i know that's insane you know my Swedish friend actually said to me, she's like, oh, I have this thing.

It's called the whatever.

And you have to buy it.

It's on Amazon.

And it's just great.

You have to get it.

I have it.

And now I have that one.

It's like a...

Send me the link.

I'm here.

Oh, yeah.

No, definitely.

It's like not a vibrator.

It's not like a dildo.

It's more like a air pressure thing.

I can't remember the name.

Sorry, guys.

But I'm going to send you a link.

It's amazing and i can really recommend that and now i want to like recommend it to all my girlfriends you guys are super well resolved do you watch porn a lot actually no i don't watch porn at all but in in sweden in general do you know if people do or not i think so but we don't really like that i mean men does watch more porn but I think when I talk to my girlfriends, because we're very open at talking about sex in Sweden.

Like, we, that's what we're talking about.

It's not that big of a topic

like here, right?

No, it's like, oh, I had sex yesterday.

It's like, okay, great.

Who was it?

What was it?

And so it's not a big deal.

But I think that when it comes to porn in Sweden, I think we are more inclined to having, wanting to see some kind of backstory, some kind of romance, some kind of more like,

I don't know, romantic kind of sex than having

this porno sex because it's very

it's very hard.

It's very like

that.

It's very matter of fact and very cold.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

So we don't really like that.

We want to see some sparks.

Yeah.

I meet you for sure.

And I'm so happy that you said that because when I do the podcast, I am trying to demystify women talk about sex.

I think guys talk about it all the time, every day, and it's completely fine.

And there is this whole taboo, this whole stigma.

I still suffer a lot because of it.

I lose clients, I lose friends, I lose potential dates, whatever.

And at the end of the day, I think if I lost them, it's better for me.

But when they see a woman, like they open my Instagram, if I did a post today about the podcast, they're like, oh my God, she talks about sex.

But basically, I think it's amazing and it's important.

And I'm so happy that you came here because you're saying the same thing.

Look, in Sweden,

look, your girlfriend said, hey, I just like this.

What's the problem?

You know, it's important.

It's healthy.

It's a huge part of life, right?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, we love sex in Sweden.

and i mean the thing is i think people think that you know just because you're accepting of something that we're gonna go overboard you're probably thinking oh just because you're so open-minded in sweden you've had hundreds and hundreds of sex partners and it's like no it's like the age for alcohol it's much it's much lower in for example paris but they're not just walking around drunk all the time.

You know what I mean?

They can like sip a glass of wine and be content with it from the age of like 16 or 18.

Yeah.

So, I mean, and the same comes for us when it comes to sex.

Just because you make it not taboo doesn't mean that you're going to go overboard and just have sex with everyone.

No, you're absolutely right.

Just because we talk about sex on a podcast, it doesn't mean we go out every night and we're banging different guys all the time.

But that's the, as sad as it is, that's the perception a lot of people out there get.

And I'm trying super hard to change that.

You know, say we can talk about it.

Yeah.

And we can do it whenever we want or not do it, but it's, it shouldn't be taboo to talk about.

No, not at all.

Yeah.

I even think that sometimes that taboo can actually make it worse.

Like I think that sure taboo can make it, you know, then you want to do it all the time because you're not allowed to do it.

You know?

Yes.

Something like that.

Something like,

and many times people feel they have to hide it.

Yeah.

Like something dirty.

Yeah.

And it shouldn't be something dirty.

It should be just like one component of our lives.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

I can't believe how fast time went by.

That's insane.

It was so much fun having you here, Amanda.

Thank you so much for inviting me.

Yeah, and I hope you come back because I know you're going to try to date some guys on the league.

Yes.

So I really hope you're lucky there and come back to tell us about it.

I will love that.

I can go out for like three different dates and come back and tell you about it.

I have not been on any dates on the league here in California at all.

I went on, I met a guy that I really liked on the league back in Florida last year.

Unfortunately, he ended up ghosting me after a bunch of great dates.

I don't know why he changed his mind about me, but uh, he was pretty nice.

So, I hope you have great, great luck.

Can you come back so we can talk more about it?

Thank you so much, Katie.

Thank you.

This was super fun.

And, guys, don't forget she has her own podcast with two of her friends.

They're the coolest guys.

It's called Three People on a Couch, and it's available on Spotify and other platforms as well, right?

Yeah, all the other platforms.

So, check them out.

And I put a stories there with the link on my Instagram today in case you guys want to listen to the episode that I participated last week.

It was so much fun.

Yes, yes, go check it out right now.

Thank you.

I'll see you guys soon.

Thanks, Amanda.

This is super fun.

Thank you.

Kisses.