Respect is the name of the Dating Game!!

Hi guys, happy Friday and I hope you all have a wonderful wonderful weekend.

So today is just me and I want to bring up a bunch of things and answer questions that you guys have been sending me the past few weeks and I finally was able to catch up today.

First things first,

a lot of you ask me, oh my god, you've been talking so much about sex the past episodes.

Well, yes, because this podcast is about dating relationships and sex because i think we all agree or almost all of us agree that sex is a huge part of any healthy and good dating or a relationship i would hope that all of you in relationships are having amazing sex and i would hope all of you out there trying to date are gonna have amazing sex i personally i think i've said that here before i don't want to be in any kind of relationship unless I have amazing chemistry and a good, healthy sexual life with my partner.

I started telling you guys the story about my husband.

A lot of you that know me know I was married for 14 years.

He died in 2018.

And my podcast started after he died.

It started more like a blog.

It was a catharsis for me to write about all the bad dates that I had and crazy experiences.

And now it turned it into this great, fun, amazing project.

And I just absolutely love it when I record an episode, and you guys talk about it, comment, send me messages that a lot of you have similar experiences, a lot of you have something to say about these subjects.

So, really, this space is for me to open up a conversation with whoever is out there that has any questions, doubts.

If you want to vent about anything that happened to you, shoot me an email, shoot me a DM on Instagram, and come participate.

This is for all of us.

So, yes, I started talking about sex because I get tons and tons and tons of questions from both guys and girls about the subject.

The most controversial one was a few weeks ago when I asked my

dating and relationship expert, April Davis, what did she think about someone, me or anybody else, having sex with a new person on the second date?

Like if you went on a great date and you really, really like the person, then you decided to go on a second date and you're like, hey, I'm gonna go for it.

Our chemistry is amazing.

I'm just gonna have sex.

And April came a few weeks ago and said, absolutely not.

Don't do it.

That's a major relationship kill.

If you do that, the guy is never going to respect you.

You, anybody should wait for two, three months.

And then she used this phrase that a lot of you guys absolutely thought it was horrible.

She said,

If you give out the goods, no guy is gonna respect you.

And I got so many DMs saying, Well, this is so old-fashioned.

This is absurd.

Then I brought my guest, the cute guy, my secret guest, the cute guy from Canada.

And he has a guy that dates a lot.

He's super successful, he's very cute.

And he's out in the dating world.

And he agreed that this is absurd.

He basically said, you know what, go with the flow.

If you really like someone, go do whatever you want to do, have sex with them.

And hey, if they like you back, and if they are a mature adult, they're not going to take that against you and say, oh my god, I'm never going to see this girl again just because she had sex with me.

And I agree with him.

I don't think if I i was dating someone and i went on one date two dates three dates whatever and if i really like them that i would play this game oh let's wait for three months let's not do anything basically most men agree if you do that to a guy you're basically playing games uh you know blackmailing them in a way saying oh i'm not gonna have sex you don't touch my body unless we have some kind of a commitment i agree this is gonna backfire i am a person, and those of you who follow me on social media know I am super, super open,

upfront.

My life is very black and white, very simple.

I absolutely hate playing games.

So, my opinion, and I'm no expert by any means, I'm just a girl out there

that has been married, that has dated all kinds of different people.

And of course, ultimately, I want to find the perfect, not perfect, because there's no such thing as a perfect relationship but I want to find a relationship with someone that wants to share life with me and likes me and loves me and appreciates my company and I think that's my ultimate goal and most people's ultimate goal but anyways in my mind if I meet someone and I really like them

I want to see our chemistry because I think it's so so so important that we have chemistry with the person can you imagine dating someone for two three four months and holding out on sex because you think it's gonna make them like you more and then all of a sudden you have sex and it's horrible or all of a sudden you kiss them and it's horrible.

To me, the kiss is the door to everything.

If the kiss is great,

it is very very very likely that everything else is gonna be great and if you kiss someone and the kiss is crappy you might as well not even go on don't even try to have sex because very likely the sex is gonna be crappy I think kissing someone is super intimate and to me it needs to be amazing like fireworks amazing otherwise I don't think everything else is worth it send me your opinions for you to be turned on by someone and for you to want to have a relationship with them is the kiss the most important thing is the touch is it the eyes is it the look or is it really nothing

So anyways,

my opinion to close the subject is if you guys are dating someone and you really like them, don't play these games like, oh, I'm not gonna have sex with him for a month, I'm not gonna have sex with him.

Go with the flow, do what it feels feels right in your heart.

And

yes, we are all adults.

We're not talking about teenagers.

If you have sex with a guy, whether it's on the second date, the third, the fourth, whatever, even the first date, if he's a mature adult and he really, really likes you, you know, he's gonna say, hey, this girl is so amazing.

She's so cool.

Her chemistry is so insane of course i want to see her again because that's what what adults do now moving on to the next subject this past week I got a lot of messages because my Instagram reached 100,000 followers.

And a lot of you that also listen to my podcast send me the message, hey, Kat, I can't believe it.

100,000.

Congratulations.

Aren't you going to do a special post about it?

You know,

there are a bunch of influences out there.

And I'm not saying anything bad about anybody's work.

I think each person should do their own thing.

But I see a lot of people when they reach 100,000, they buy those balloons, and they're like, yeah, yeah, I have 100,000 followers.

Oh my God.

So my answer to all of you that have been writing is, I am going to do a post about it, but my post is going to be a little bit different.

Because this is how I feel about this.

I don't really think 100,000 followers mean anything.

I don't think 70,000 mean anything.

I don't think a million mean anything.

To me, what means so much is if I do my work,

let's say if I record this episode of the podcast, or if I do a post, and even if just a few of you guys love it, or you make a comment, or anything opens up a conversation, or if it touches your heart and your lives in any

way,

to me,

that's what's important.

To me, that tells me that i accomplished what i mean to accomplish which is send a message open up a conversation be creative encourage women to do whatever it is that they want to do with their lives with their bodies we should say anything we want we should take all kinds of pictures that we want so it really doesn't matter um the number of followers that I have it's more like being inspired by so many amazing women out there that I follow and I hope with all my heart that I inspire some of you when you see my posts and of course I get tons of critics I get people that

to this day

send me messages telling me hey aren't you a little too old cover up stop with the bikini pictures stop with the bathing suit pictures and on the other hand I have a lot of you that say oh my god this is amazing this is so sexy!

Thank you for doing that.

I was so embarrassed about doing a photo shoot, but then when I see your photo shoots, I'm gonna go and do it.

And I think it's all about that, it's all about empowering women, it's all about empowering girls to just be brave and do your work.

I really, really don't like criticism when it's negative.

There are 800 million Instagram accounts out there, and I don't even know how many millions of podcasts out there.

So, if somebody posts something you don't like, you don't really need to be negative and mean to that person.

So many girls suffer because of that.

Just literally don't follow them and go follow somebody else.

My work, for those of you that know me, is 1 million percent about good energy, empowering girls, showing that we can do anything that we feel like doing.

And another question that I get a lot is: oh my god, how are the men about your work?

How do they feel?

Are they jealous?

And if you guys listened to my past episodes, the answer is yes.

Many times I dated people and I even try to have relationships with them.

And I realized that

they were intimidated by what I did.

Or even worse, they were against what I did.

I had a boyfriend for a few months last year, and in the beginning, everything seemed amazing.

He was a super nice man,

and he was very successful.

He was an old-fashioned Italian guy, and I like that part.

I love old-fashioned guys.

I think it's probably the French part of me.

I think romance is kind of dying, and I just love when I meet a guy who knows how to treat a lady, who knows how to order food, how to order wine, how to plan dates.

I think this is all so cool and it makes dating so much more special.

But anyways, I was dating this guy last year and for a few months, but the first few months were amazing.

And then one day he decided, oh, I'm going to listen to this podcast.

And he listened to one episode that was X-rated.

And he got extremely upset.

And basically,

He told me that I sounded like a porn star, that I sounded like a whore, and what kind of a a girl talks like that, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And I felt that I needed to break up the relationship because it was in the beginning, and I was thinking: if this man is not supportive of what I do, he's not supportive of women speaking their minds, he's not supportive of women saying whatever it is that they want to say,

he's very, very likely not the guy for me.

And I tell you, girls, the same thing: if you are dating a guy and for whatever reason you feel that this guy is not going to be supportive of what you do is not going to be supportive of your work it's very very likely that this is not the right person for you the right person for you should be strong enough in my case should have a strong enough personality to

support my podcast, support my Instagram and not feel threatened by it.

It really doesn't mean just because you talk about sex, because you talk about dating, because you talk about relationships, that you are out there cheating and having sex with all kinds of people.

It's really just work, it's really just a job.

So, for you girlies out there who are single and thinking about dating, remember that.

And if you have not listened to my episodes about my husband, please go back and listen because this story, it's honestly very, very difficult for me to talk about it because it's painful and it's raw and it's not that old.

He just died a few years ago, but it's a story that I decided that it's really important for me to tell

because I know that there are so many girls out there going through the same things.

And many, many times, like me, when I was going through it, I was afraid to talk about it.

I was afraid to ask for help.

I was afraid that people were going to criticize me.

So this is another reason why I decided to start the conversation and tell the whole story.

It's a story about love, yes, it's a story about marriage, yes, but it's also a story about abuse, it's a story about alcoholism, it's a story about so many things.

So you girls stay tuned.

I put out the second episode about that this week.

I'll probably do another one next week.

I'm lining up so many fun, fabulous guests for you girlies.

My secret guest, the cute guys, coming back for sure to answer your questions about the world of dating and relationships.

So, basically, my two cents for this Friday, since it's Friday, I know a lot of you girls have dates out there.

Be yourselves.

Do what feels right in your heart.

And whoever it is that you think you're going to stay with, whoever it is that you're going to go on a second, third date with, as long as they respect you, as long as they respect what you do.

I think these are the very, very most important things in any relationship.

And I learned from my experiences that I will never, ever, ever again for the rest of my life be with anybody that doesn't respect me

and that doesn't respect my work.

And this is a very special episode of Cat on the Lose

because

I adopted another rescue puppy last week he is a 10 year old little baby chow you guys can see him on my Instagram and he's sleeping on my lap as I record this episode and he's the cutest freaking thing in the world I don't know how some people can be so freaking mean and abandon an adorable little baby he's now he's healthy he's six pounds but they abandoned him he was almost dying he was two and a half pounds i don't know who the hell does that but anyways this is a very happy ending to the story.

Somebody took him to the shelter, Jamie's shelter, where I adopted my first dog, Phoenix, from.

And I went there and I adopted this baby.

Now, his name is Bello.

He has a wonderful godmom that helped me adopt him.

So, thank you, Godmom, for the generous donation to help me.

So, now our family is bigger, and I do leave you guys a message.

If you have room in your hearts and your lives, please adopt.

There's so many pets out there.

all they want is love

all they want is to be fed and loved and it would be amazing if you guys can help there is a link for jamie's shelter if you want to help or donate on my instagram catzamuto and on phoenix phoenix zamutu it's with chew m z a m m ut o

and i hope you guys have most wonderful weekend and above all make sure whoever you go out with respect is the name of the game.

Love you.

Please send me all your questions.

The weather here in Ryan is fantastic.

I hope the weather is really nice where you are.

But even if it isn't, I hope you're surrounded by love and people that love and adore you.

Kisses, kisses, kisses.

See you soon.

Love you.