INTERVIEW WITH DAVINA ZARNIGHIAN - ENERGY HEALER

Hi, guys.

Good morning.

I'm super excited during today's episode because I'm going to be interviewing Davina.

She's an energy healer, and I cannot wait to ask her what is an energy healer, what exactly she does, and most importantly, how it can help us in this crazy world of dating and relationships, the roller coaster.

Davina is here with us via Zoom.

Hi, Davina.

Hi, Kat.

How are you?

I'm great.

Thank you so, so much for doing this.

We're super excited.

So enlighten me, please.

What is an energy healer?

How do you become an energy healer?

What exactly is it?

So an energy healer is somebody who uses their hands to move energy blockages in the body.

So we're all composed of energy.

Energy is everywhere.

We can't fight it.

Can't run away from it.

And if we have blockages in our body, it tends to make us sick.

So an energy healer comes in and they move those blockages out of the body.

And it comes out through,

usually, you know,

it could come out in anxiety attacks, panic attacks.

There's a lot of different ways that those blockages come out.

And everybody reacts differently.

So it's great because it makes you very calm.

It helps your mood.

It helps take out the blockages which are making you sick.

So a lot of people go to these doctors and they can't get an answer why they're sick.

And they'll go to any specialist and the doctor will be telling them the same thing.

They'll usually give them a very general diagnosis.

And it's until they go to somebody in the healing arts that actually tells them, finds the root of that problem.

I am a person, I'm not religious, but I super, super, super believe in energy.

I agree with you.

So to me, this is major.

So when you, you know, my blog is about relationship and dating.

You told me you read some past episodes.

So I think the first,

so you saw like I get tangled up with bad men, right?

That's the first thing.

People usually tell me, I have really good light energy.

I'm all about peace and being nice to people because I believe in karma.

I believe in whatever we do comes back to us.

So how do you think, like in my case, if you see a person like me, and I'm sure a lot of girls are out there, oh my God, you know, why am I attracting all these bad, bad men with this heavy, heavy energy?

What would be like your first suggestion or why do you think this happens?

Right.

So I think there are two main reasons.

I think the first reason is you might be putting out an energy out there that says, like, hey, I'm cool, I'm sweet, I'm nice, I don't hurt anybody, um, I'm positive.

But then there's this side to you that's very deep down that's actually the energy could be a little bit low, which tends to attract the low energy type of people.

So I I could speak from experience, I was attracting a lot of interesting characters.

What I put out there, people always said, oh, it's you know, she can't hurt her name, but she's a good girl, sweet, I've I've been called innocent.

I've been called pure.

I've been called all these names.

But

it comes down to kind of what you're feeling deep down inside, like what you bury.

So what you're burying really kind of comes out and attracts the people, attracts the maybe toxic or negative person.

Because they also say women who are

here with like a bigger purpose, women who are strong, they're from the outside, they look like they have everything together.

They could be attracting men who need healing, yeah, yeah, that's a good point.

So, you think, first things first, in a way, it's something that we are presenting.

Like, there is something I'm doing to this man that I'm attracting this kind of men.

Yeah, I've heard that before from

a

a life coach that I interviewed for my radio show.

She said the same thing.

It's something within us.

It's not just the other person's fault.

So, how do we get rid of it?

I've tested these things, I've done them myself, speaking from experience.

But it involves like a big process, but I would say, like, basic, basic things is you have to do whatever you can to raise your frequency and your energy.

So,

easier said than done, but I think the biggest thing for me

for me it would be

just becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable.

That's really what it is.

You kind of have to struggle through this process.

It's not going to be easy at all.

Will be times where you're just going to want to give up and get back into old patterns, but then you know that that's not really what you want to do.

You want to improve.

You want to grow.

So just be okay with being uncomfortable and soon you will be comfortable.

But what do you like?

When you say uncomfortable, what do you mean?

Like with the changes?

Because it's hard to change our behavior, you think?

Yeah, through your changes.

If you're, for example, distancing yourself from these friends who you leaned on for everything and you could talk to them about everything and then suddenly you're kind of a little bit more alone.

You're trying to find better people, kind of match your frequency.

It could get a little lonely.

they were easily available for you but now they're not so you know i see

about that yeah you're gonna have to have talks with like if you have for example like a family member you don't get along with very well and you've always wondered why um i would suggest getting past like regression therapy because it can help you find out why you're here with that person

and kind of fix that issue.

And once you realize like that relationship with that person can improve.

Yeah.

I actually heard this before.

Now, that's a good question that I didn't plan to ask, but I had a horrible relationship with my dad growing up.

My father was just not a nice person.

You know, he was a womanizer.

He cheated on my mom, blah, blah, blah.

He was always traveling.

And a lot of people told me that maybe, I don't know, I accept the way men treat me, that it's a lot related to how my dad treated me and my mom.

Do you think maybe that's possible?

that's something that us as women we should figure out

yes i really think

a father's relationship with the daughter is more important than the mother's relationship with the daughter when it comes to finding a person finding their person

because the daughter will learn how men treat women when they watch their father treat women So I have this friend and he was such a gentleman, so respectful.

You know, if he would go out, he could like call me when you get home.

I want to make sure you're safe, this, that.

And then one night we were all drinking and he goes and I go to him, I'm like, you must have learned from your dad to be such a gentleman.

And he goes,

no, I learned from myself.

I didn't want to be like my dad.

So there are two types of guys.

Yeah.

It's those guys that see how their dad treated their mom and they said, I'm not going to be like that.

But then they're the guys who see their dad acting like that and saying, you know, I'm going to be just like my dad.

Yeah, that's the key is to find that kind of guy.

The kind of guy that wants to treat women nicely.

I know.

And it's funny that you're saying that because a lot of these men from

my stories that you hear, they're all fathers to girls.

And many times I actually look them in the face and I said, I really hope nobody treats your daughters when they grow up the way you're treating me.

Because I think this man forget that we had dads too.

So sometimes it makes me wonder, how would you feel if somebody did this to your daughter?

But actually.

100%.

And there's a reason why they've been giving girls.

Right?

But they don't think about it.

That's the interesting thing.

I don't think about this all the time.

They say the Casanovas, the, you know, forever bachelors, like when they end up settling down and when they end up having kids, they're going to have girls because they have to see, it's like karma.

They have to see other boys potentially break their daughter's hearts like they used to break women's hearts.

So like men out there, if you're listening to us, before you're like mean to a girl, before you cheat, before you do something horrible, remember that one day it's gonna be your daughter in the dating pool.

And I think everybody wants their daughters to be treated with respect, right?

Exactly, you don't want to watch your kid cry over a guy.

Exactly.

Now, Davina, I have to ask you, tell me one

really bad, I know you have a few, like one horrible

dating star

the worst one that i still remember to see okay go for it

we want to hear it

kind of bothers me to this day so i was at a party

and i like the typical like blonde blue-eyed very just like doesn't look like me i don't like persian guys really i just i like a little bit more exotic looking

and I was speaking to this guy and he asks me out and he takes me out and we're sitting at the bar the conversation seems like okay and then all of a sudden he starts getting very handsy and then I respectfully like moved his hand

and he starts to get very defensive and he goes well

you know your friend blah blah let me do this to her on the first date you're all the same you should let me do it too oh you're all the same

You're all the same.

And I'm like, no, we're not all the same, but thank you for putting me in that box.

Anyway, it gets a lot of fun.

But what did he mean by that?

You're all the same.

He meant, like, because of.

We all put out on the first.

But he meant your heritage?

Yeah, Persian.

Oh, I hear that a lot because I'm half Brazilian.

And I've heard men say, oh, you girls are so loose from Latin America, you know?

Yeah.

These stereotypes are so wrong.

I know.

Well, first of all, they're disrespectful, right?

So disrespectful.

I don't even know what to say.

Then what did you say to the guy?

I mean, I tried to shrug it off as just he's being a guy, and I was trying to go up.

This was another

mistake I made.

I should not have tolerated it.

And I would not right now.

And then he starts talking about politics.

And I don't mind talking about politics at all.

I know me neither.

And from my face, because my face tends to just give away too too much

i made it i made it look like i did not vote for hillary okay

and he's like i could never be with someone who didn't vote for hillary uh this is the worst date of my life

he said that to you during the day yeah this is the worst date i've ever been on

and i'm sitting there like did you leave

So I was like, I gotta go.

And he's like, no, no, no.

I want to walk you to Penn Station.

I don't know what made me walk.

I can't.

It's like, it's exactly what we are talking about and trying to figure out.

That's the whole reason why I started this podcast.

It was my way to vent and figure out why do we accept certain things.

I think sometimes, I don't know, I'm trying to find answers.

To me, sometimes it's just like, oh, I'm lonely or whatever.

I'll give this guy a chance.

But the truth is, I was, yeah, right.

Let's

also attract to him.

I think it was a lot like I was attracted to him.

I know.

And I was like so upset after the date.

I went home and I called, you know, the one ex that was really nice to me and I cried to him.

Oh, you call, but you called for a booty call.

No, I actually didn't.

Just to vent.

Just to vent.

Oh my God.

See?

Next time that happens, call a girlfriend.

Don't call an ex-boyfriend, right?

That's another thing that we do.

I probably did that that too I probably told all my friends at the time but I told I was I was a big sharer back then probably yeah I know

I'm like that too I'm like super open and I don't play games I just tell stuff like it is and my girlfriends tell me sometimes I should just keep my things more private don't just open up so that's that's another thing that you could do that's also good keep your

keep your life more private.

I think that's also helps me over time.

I know.

I mean, but even like when I go on a date, I don't like playing games.

I don't, I don't have patience for games.

But my girlfriends actually tell me, yes, you should.

Playing games in terms of like, oh, don't, don't text too quickly or wait for the guy to text first or wait a day or two or don't say everything about your life.

Do you think we should do these things?

Be more guarded, or should we just open up or and say whatever we want?

No, I think we need to be more vulnerable.

More vulnerable.

We need to be more vulnerable, but in a smart way.

I'm not saying go and tell like your whole life story in the first three, four days.

No, we have to carefully

release information.

If it's the right guy and we're vulnerable,

it's going to stick.

It's really going to stick.

All of my marriage friends now, first thing they tell me, I was vulnerable.

And I can't look, it happened.

I was vulnerable.

And we shouldn't be afraid to be vulnerable because we have to keep in mind mind that if we're vulnerable and we share ourselves with that person, if it doesn't work out, it'll be fine because we taught them things.

They taught us things to get us ready for the right person.

Yeah, I completely agree with you.

That's great advice.

I am just my nature.

I just open up too much and I'm like, it is what it is.

What you see is what you get.

And for that reason, I end up being really hurt a lot.

Right.

You know, but I don't think we can change our personality just like you said if it's the right person they're gonna love it and if it's the wrong person maybe it's better off that we just find out sooner rather than later right I have another thing that can also help you that I realized I had an episode on my podcast with a human design reader who's also a medium which was really really a fun fun episode but she will tell you um your design which kind of

it'll give you advice on like how to deal in romantic relationships as well.

Like for me, I'm a projector, so I'm supposed to wait for the invitation.

So I can't pursue guys.

Yeah, Mitch, I can either.

I'm like old-fashioned.

I agree with you.

Yeah, I can't pursue that.

But the thing is, I'm not going to say I was pursuing, but like I would make it more known that I was interested because I wanted to look less intimidating.

Because I kept being told when I was growing up, you're so intimidating.

You're this, you're that.

Guys are scared of you.

So I heard that and I said, okay, then I should go after you guys a little bit more.

No, wrong.

Wrong.

Yeah, you're not going to change your personality for a guy, right?

That's a fact.

Now, let me ask you a question.

You

heard my Valentine's Day episode.

That's horrible, right?

That's disgusting.

Yeah, that was like, I'm like, this would make a great movie.

I know.

Have you ever heard a worse dating story than that?

I asked all my friends.

I don't know if it's like the worst dating story.

I mean, it's pretty odd.

It's a little bizarre.

But my friend went out with this guy who they were on a rooftop bar and he literally started taking a shirt off.

And then he...

At the bar?

At the bar, and then he went to go get gas still with his shirt off.

And like, then he put like a blazer on to cover.

It's just the story.

He took his shirt off on the date.

That's just something that comes in front of everybody.

In front of everybody.

That's just weird.

That's just strange.

That was very weird.

So, yeah.

Now, do you have like one great experience?

Like a date that you said, wow, this guy actually did everything right.

This was

every day with my boyfriend now.

Oh, so you are in a happy relationship now.

Yay!

So how long have you guys been dating?

About six months.

All right, so how did it start?

I mean, okay, that's a good one.

What did he do like in the beginning?

It's a great story.

It's a fantastic story.

So

he,

so six months before we met,

I saw him somewhere and I found out that he and my like best guyfriend know each other so I like to research so I go to my best guy friend I said who is this guy what's his deal

and he's like oh I know him from parties he's nice why and then I just played it off as like whatever I didn't get much get into it much

and then like around five months later we matched again on an app and he

reaches out to me

I thought we only matched once, but he says we matched like three, four times and it took him like five months to talk to me anyway.

how cute yeah

so um he messages me like a few days later we made a date

and that day that we had a date i was supposed to

meet with a big influencer

she cancels on me like she's on my way to the meeting

i was like annoyed but i texted him i'm available earlier

So

we got coffee and I was supposed to go to like a housewarming for a friend and I went there like two three hours late.

My friends were like, where were you?

Like you're late.

I was like, oh, I was just on a date.

And then a week later, COVID started.

Oh, yes.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

So

we had basically, for the first month and a half, we had daily

like six hour video chat calls.

Not kidding, six to seven.

We would be up from like eight to two in the morning talking.

And we decided to meet when everything got like a little safer.

And we just like took it from there.

Oh, I'm happy to hear that.

Guys, this is Davina.

She's an energy healer.

We're going to take a super quick break and we're going to come back because I want to ask a few more questions, really important questions about how do we change our energy and attract people with great energy.

It happened to you.

Maybe you can do your magic and make it happen to me and everybody else out there.

We'll be right back.

So, Davina, now that we know that you're in a happy, healthy relationship,

what is your just very pragmatic?

Like, what do you have a list of a few suggestions?

Like, do this, this, this, this, this, that I think will help you attract nicer people.

So, definitely, number one, energy healing.

Number two, make a list of

the areas in your life that you'd like to improve.

So, it means like getting

out of a specific circle of friends, get out of there,

do more hobbies that you love.

Find your calling in life.

I really think that helps.

Just commit to self-growth and just improving yourself.

And,

you know, eat well, exercise, obviously, and just remain positive at all times.

Just be positive, and

yeah, I think it's really important, and I've heard that before, that we're happy with ourselves,

that we don't feel bad about being single, being alone.

Yes, that it's not okay to be with someone toxic just because that's something that I just learned recently.

I think before I would rather be with the wrong person

instead of being alone.

And these days I'm more like, I'm so happy with myself.

I love my work.

I just love hanging out with my family and my friends that I'm never going to just settle and be treated poorly again.

And I think that was a huge step for me.

Yeah, yeah, it just happened after this last story, this crazy guy that I was with.

Good.

So that was needed.

You see, that was needed to happen for you to learn exactly I think yeah all these horrible things had to happen to me and now I decided the next person that hopefully I'll have someone else but I'm not in a hurry at all you know I'm just like

well I want it to be organic and if I meet somebody nice that will be nice to me great if not you know I'm never gonna accept somebody

being mean to me again you know if they're mean to me they're just out the door

that typically happens after a narcissistic relationship or like involvement with someone who's a narcissist they're they're actually the ones who teach you to

yeah and you saw and i have a bunch of stories about those you know for some crazy reason like you said i was attracting all kinds of narcissist men you know

it's your purity no

yeah do you think i yeah actually that guy um he you probably saw on my uh podcast he used to say to me that i was too nice that I was, oh, you're too freaking nice.

And I'm like, excuse me, do you want me to be bad to people?

Do you want me to be mean to people?

I mean, I'm not going to change my nature, you know?

Right.

Now, do you, you're, you're an energy healer.

You're super connected with the universe, which I love.

Do you think it's possible that we have more than one soulmate in life or just one?

Totally.

So this is something that a lot of people like love to talk about and they're like a little bit confused.

But like the term soulmate, it can be used for people who are not romantic.

It could be platonic.

It could be your family.

So when it comes to like love soulmate, someone you end up with,

we are given

about like seven possible

people.

So based on where you are and with your energy.

That's the person you can end up with.

But given if they are okay with their energy too, like if they are on the the right path and you're on the right path you'll meet but if you're going on the right path and this person is like you're not gonna meet so what happens is you'll go to like another soulmate who's like closer to that path so like in kabbalah respect um

a guy if he does the work the self-work and he improves himself he can take another man's soulmate who's not ready wow So you have different soulmates in your life.

So what you want to do is you want to be the best version of yourself so you can attract your highest soulmate, the one who's done the work.

And they say, when two, like, very highly spiritual people come together, two, like, very connected soulmates come together, they create like very, very powerful children, right, in the future that are going to, they're going to do a lot of work for humanity and the community, and they're going to be like a stronger version of the two of them, obviously, but like spiritually.

Yeah, so it is possible to love more than one person, choose

in different ways, though.

That's so you could be like, I love that, like, I love this person,

like you loved how they were, but it would be like a type of love that you'd have for like your brother or like a friend.

It doesn't have to be

that kind of like romantic love that, like, you see in movies.

It's like you both die for each other.

There's only gonna be really at the end one person like that that's your highest soulmate.

But you have the ability to kind of pick who you end up with based on your energy.

So, that's why it's important.

Do you have any advice on how we move forward from all these past relationship traumas?

And how do we learn to trust again?

Because, in my case, and I know I have a lot of girlfriends that say the same thing, when I meet somebody new,

I'm always like, oh, how am I going to trust this person?

They're going to hurt me.

They're going to be horrible to me they're gonna lie to me is there a way that we kind of let our guard down and trust again

yeah there is a way

so what I would say is you have to before you get involved with that person you kind of have to create this like bubble in your head to protect yourself and I always tell my clients like take a white light put it from the top of your head down to your toes and back up and protect yourself and look at them with a lot of compassion and say, Hey, this person, okay, might have not healed from their past relationships and their like past hurts, and they're doing the best they can.

And our upbringing was different, but I'm willing to give it a try with this person and see where it could go.

But

if the outcome is not good, then I have to accept that, like, maybe the outcome's not good because I'm supposed to grow.

Yeah, so in other words,

we need each other to

get to where we both need to be.

But in other words, just because one person was really bad to us, it doesn't mean the next one

is going to do the same, right?

So we have to be open-minded.

Exactly.

Unless, like, we're repeating some kind of like negative pattern we've kind of just like programmed in our heads, like I was saying before.

But yeah, you have to meet them with a lot of compassion.

Yeah.

Well, this was fantastic.

I love all your advice.

I love, I believe in energy.

If you guys believe in energy, her work is just amazing.

Davina, tell them what your Insta is in case they want to know more about you.

And in case they have more questions, I have 10 billion questions for her, obviously.

So my Insta is at divine D-I-V-I-N-E

healing by D.

So I have a in my Lincoln bio, I have a link to my website where I tell you all my packages.

And I have specific like, love coaching packages, if you'd like, and my energy healing rates.

And/or you can email me at divine healing by DM.

Love coaching, love coaching.

I never heard of that before.

I love coaching.

I'm going to do that.

I need some love coaching, but I feel so much better already just talking to you and listening to your advice and everything sounds fantastic.

Thank you so, so much.

It was such a pleasure having you here.

You're the best.

Thank you, Kat.

Thank you.

And guys,

this was a fantastic conversation.

I'm going to drop it.

We don't edit, so whatever it is, it is right.

And I'm going to drop my interview with Davina now on Spotify, on Google Podcasts.

It's going to be on a gazillion platforms, Cat on the Lose.

If you want to listen to it, don't forget to support your favorite podcasts, mine and hers, because we are artists and we really believe in what we do.

Thank you so much.

Good energy, good vibes.

At the end, I think your message is if we send out great energy,

that's very likely what we're going to get back, right?

Exactly.

Is that phrase true?

Karma is a bitch?

Karma is growth.

Karma is growth.

I'm going to be positive.

Karma is not.

Okay, karma is growth.

But, you know, it can be bad.

It's karma.

It's a bitch, right?

If you do bad things, it's going to come back to you.

If you do good things, it should come back to you, and if you do bad things, it should come back to you.

Fantastic!

Thank you so much, Davina.

This is a lot of fun.

Bye-bye, we're dropping it.

Bye, guys.