VENMO JOELLA (w/ Aaron Jackson + Josh Sharp)

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Look, man.

Oh, I see.

My IOI.

Mohamed, look over there.

Wow, is that culture?

Yes.

Goodness.

Las Culturistas.

Ding-dong.

Las Culturistas calling.

Well,

this episode was supposed to start a different way.

Tell them of the bit.

Tell them of the bit

better.

Let's do the bit.

I felt like.

It wasn't feeling like a safe environment for the bit once I brought it to the floor.

No one.

Let's try the bit.

Here was going to be the bit.

The bit was going to be Bowen and Josh Sharp start the show as if nothing.

No one was the wiser.

But tell them why.

Because Aaron and I came today sort of wearing a shirt.

Shirts.

Button down.

Sort of like button-down shirts with like the bold statements.

Sort of down real patterns.

Bright statements and bold patterns.

Bright colours.

Drew Drogi.

Drew Drogi.

Was I referencing it?

And therefore, was the correction right to do?

It was a riff.

Not a correction.

Oh.

Can you tell my guard is up?

Yeah.

You seem hackled.

So this is where it started to break down bit wise.

Josh and Aaron are wearing t-shirts.

Aaron and Matt are wearing button-downs.

With bold statements and bright patterns.

Right.

And so not a Drew Drogie reference.

Not a Drew Drogie reference.

Title of F.

Title of F.

Not a Drew Drogi reference.

Title of F.

But I think it just broke down because Matt was saying, okay, so then Josh and not Matt as in I as in Matt.

Josh and I will start the show.

Bowen is playing.

No, I never started with Matt.

Yeah,

right now.

I do think

let's try it.

Let us try it.

Sure, okay, start the show.

Two, one,

ding, dung.

Don't last.

Last culture.

This is where you did it.

This is where it broke down.

I said, Matt said that Matt and Josh would be the whole of the show.

Then Daredevil and I would come in later.

later.

That doesn't make any goddamn sense because I said if both if

okay, if Aaron and I were both wearing statement shirts with bright colors and bold patterns, we would sit on one couch and you and Joshua, who are both in more simple tees, would start the show.

Yeah.

Let us start the show.

Do you want to see the logic?

Let us try again.

Let us try again.

Start the episode.

Two.

One.

Ding-dong.

Las culturists is calling Garu.

Epic Orlando was universal, y'all.

It was universal.

It was the universal experience for the guys, girls, and gays.

Now, wait,

now that the bitch is going,

if you were to be Matt, were you to be the guest?

You were to be

Matt.

That would have been the guest.

Can I just say what the dream of the bit was, and maybe if with more time we could have executed the bit.

is if only

and josh sharp had started the podcast and not said anything it was just bowen and josh starting it and then we come in me me and Aaron Jackson, and we don't even mention it.

You don't even address different.

You gave Josh and I the keys to your car, which makes us feel a little, a little bit more.

I didn't know how to drive stick, but

it's your car that you were like, I've got a car.

Y'all drive.

It's a beautiful Honda CR-V.

You screamed at us.

I guess I thought that the instructions for how to drive the car were clearer than they were.

It's kind of an ending.

I know you guys missed a style bit that really just fucks with the forms.

What's crazy is I didn't even think it was that it's crazy i didn't think it should not address it it was not that's it was

communicated

and this is what episode the bit is what is so shocking this is episode 14 or 15 of the pod right y'all yeah we really started it forever dollar forever dollar yeah cut that out we we're we're fledgling you know what's funny is people what year are we in people have been begging for this people have been begging for this people have been begging for this year nine dollar ah yes year nine you're wearing your ah yes and the cacophony is back.

It starts.

This is an Obama era podcast.

No, I'm never forgetting, yes.

Technically,

it was the last months of the Obama presidency.

So then, yes.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

Do not raise your voice.

I didn't.

I didn't.

So why?

What would you guys say was the culture that made you say culture was for you?

Because I knew you had to be.

Because I knew you were going to be doing it.

Because I knew you were.

I didn't really get culture until two weeks ago on a Thursday night.

And then you saw what culture was when you saw Rosie O'Donnell

have a great Emmy-winning guest star.

Right.

Y'all learned about culture at the O'Mary Tony's party, which we were not invited to.

You didn't get the invite.

Well, I don't think we did.

I actually don't think we did.

Which is okay because I was going to say overload.

Cole is mad at you.

I think so.

And for what?

I don't know, but apparently.

And are you mad at Cole?

Now they are.

Now.

i'm gonna wait to say yes or no for a likely yes but i'm gonna wait okay was it a place

to say if i'm mad i see because what were you gonna say i think it's all i'm only mad at cole if they're mad at me okay does that make sense and and that and that is that that it's tip for tat and that happens all the time i'm mad at cole yeah i think it's it's same with crushes so you might not realize you're into someone until they say i'm into you and you say oh mutual yeah less boogie but then does that does that make you second guess it at all you're like oh this was contingent on them having a crush on me.

To me, it's going to be proposed.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's going to be proposed.

Proposed.

Anal marriage.

Or marriage.

Oh.

Penetrative anal.

Well, I mean, someone being attracted to you is a turn on.

Wouldn't you say?

Yes.

It's one of other guys' best qualities when they want to provide it to me.

My favorite thing about you is that you like me.

That's actually a good greeting card.

My favorite thing about you, and you open it, is that you like me.

Yeah.

Winky face emoji and then make whatever a Venmo request.

Yeah.

It's a rules as much.

Really?

As host.

She is hosting.

As host, allow me to say that's a rule of culture.

That's a rule of culture.

Wait, what was?

My favorite thing about you is that you like me.

Oh, which number is that?

That's 1,691.

1,600.

This is 91.

My favorite thing about you is that you like me.

Now, I just want to go back to something that Aaron put out there.

Oh.

A card and a Venmo request.

I just want to,

can I observe something?

Part of Aaron's sort of lexicon of comedy is

to end it, to end

a statement with Venmo, a mention of Venmo or Joella, or both, as in a call to action Venmo Joella.

And it's funny to hear you describe that as comedic.

Because I would say

we're all laughing.

Both can be Joelle.

Yes, thank you.

Venmo Joella.

Wait, maybe

Pause

Pause and Venmoella.

Joella.

I do have to say that the title of Epp has to be

okay.

So can we explain who Joella is?

Joella was a drag race contestant on season, I'm not

sure.

49.

And if you don't know that, don't listen to this podcast.

Just Venmo Joelle.

This is the wrong podcast for you.

She did a two-episode run, would we say?

Three,

three, and it was, I would say, sensational.

She was

absolutely sensational.

A lot with a little.

Yeah.

I think history will look back kindly on this season.

She'll probably get brought back at some point.

It was, I I mean, she really made a mark.

Can I say, like, I was almost ready to say something snide when you said she'll probably get brought back soon because I feel like they're bringing everybody back for all-stars.

But then I will also say I'm kind of eating my hat with the girls that I thought weren't going to give on all-stars because I'm all-stars happening.

Every group of all-stars.

They're all giving and gaving.

They're giving, gaving, and gaping.

The guy who Joela,

Mojoela.

I give them all proppers because I'm entertained thoroughly.

The The tournament of all stars is a good thing.

I like the tournament.

I like 666.

Me too.

Oh, devilish.

I said what I said.

Oh, devilish.

Devil-ish.

Devilish.

Satan.

Yeah.

Play this podcast while you watch Wizard of Oz.

Sync them up.

Yeah.

And you will speak to the devil.

Josh and I were at the gay bar Twist in Miami, Florida.

And legendary.

Weekend Mayhem, Lady Gaga's Mayhem came out.

And in that front bar, if you've ever been, it's sort of just casual with televisions.

And they played Mayhem and started House of Gucci at the same time as if it was Wizard of Oz.

It synced up.

I don't know that that's as if they were going to what?

Anytime.

To what?

Just like Adrian Brody, if it would like cut, not Adrian Brody.

Joe Letto.

No, Adam Driver.

Adam driver.

It would like cut.

There's an A.

Sorry, Adam.

If it was like on the beat and would cut to him, we'd just scream.

Yeah.

They synced up.

On the beat.

If a cut matchup was in meat.

I wanted to take you to the garden on Gucci.

I'm like, garden.

I'm screaming.

So

everybody do that.

Venmo Joelle.

Pause the podcast.

Venmo Joel.

Pause again.

Sync up

with awesome Gucci

an hour-long album with a two-hour-long movie.

Yes.

Luke the TV.

Just

a little bit.

Do you have a suggested donation to Joella, or is this hard to pay what you can?

Pay what you will, but honey, if you are going to a pride event that costs over $50,

At least $6,000.

And that's proportional.

That's what Radiohead said about in Rainbows in 2007.

They said, Tom said, if you're going to a Pride event,

it's over $50,000.

Pay us $6,000 for this album.

I got to tell you, one of my biggest cultural blind spots is radio.

That's okay.

Oh, they're always cracked my top five.

Yeah.

What?

Is that true?

That's my biggest problem.

You, I believe.

I didn't know that about radio.

You're listening to the fucking revival of parade.

You're listening to rag time.

OBC.

I'm listening to OBC.

Can I give time?

Can I give to your people one of the kindest things you've ever done?

Because you know, me, Aaron, and Patrick are big Bjork girls.

Yes.

So when her last album came out, we got a text from you that said, Girls, I wanted you to know I really tried to listen to the new Bjork album.

As you said, but I had to turn it off halfway through.

I found a lot of the

imagery to be disturbing.

Yeah.

And we all did.

I really appreciate this.

I mean a joke.

I made a a joke i really like that you put that effort

is a from a weird girl a weird girl album she has more like this is a song with a chorus type of album yeah i mean i here's the thing i there's nothing like sort of like being in fire island and watching all your sisters vibe on i i think it was some some hallucinogenic and watching you not just listen to but commune with both nature and bjork out together that was existing inside of a bjork song i remember what's the song it's from off vespertine What was the song that we were invited to?

Hunter?

Not Hunter.

No, no, no.

Off Vespertine, where it was with the, we're talking like the music.

Oh, that's Biophilia.

We were listening to

Crystalline.

Crystalline.

Crystalline.

Yes.

The best song on that.

Is FKA Twigs one of the daughters of Bjork?

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Kind of all of them are.

There's many.

Yeah.

Sega Bodega is a daughter of Bjork.

Caroline Policek's a daughter of Bjork.

Yeah.

You know?

Wait, I didn't know you were a metalhead.

Well, I like hardcore.

Turnstile.

So, Josh is wearing a turnstile.

I'm really trying to get gay guys into turnstile this summer.

As we're going so far, I went at the turnstile show the other week.

Yeah.

Who would you describe as everyone?

Because I wish there were more.

People of all shapes and sizes.

Esther creamy.

Basically, when we're talking about everyone, there's no real signifier.

It would just be anyone you could think of could be there in that moment when we say everyone.

And I want to take back that question.

Cut that question from the end.

No, don't, don't.

Don't cut.

I say the cuts.

You say

that.

Everyone.

Touristylist for everyone.

Tour styles for for everyone.

I had some.

We should go.

We should go.

You should go.

It is.

I find hardcore, it's like a queer space where it's sort of radically

metal.

Yeah.

But hardcore,

hardcore people are erratically accepting in a way that queer people are.

You know, they're like, all shapes, all sizes get in the pit.

You know what I'm saying?

So radically accepting.

Yeah.

I just didn't hear you correct.

Correct.

I love hardcore music.

I love Fugazi.

Gay guys should get into Fugazi.

Gay guys should get into fucked up.

Gay guys should get into turnstile.

I like fucked up.

I like

Canadian.

You're Canadian civilian how would gay guys benefit from getting into this particular music i need to know me what is it about gay men that they're missing i think there's a lot of miss genre

pop doesn't have a lot of rage and i do think there's you would haven't heard olivia rodrigo

sure

other than olivia you haven't i sung it live

that was a sad moment you wouldn't have heard her it's really go don't she says the f-word in that song yeah can we cuss can we cuss on this pod yeah you can cuss yeah okay she's Faggot.

Fuck it.

Fuck it.

See, that wasn't the one I was expecting.

You're catching me off guard in this climate, that's for sure.

But I think you might like Radiohead because Josh always says Tom York taught Josh Vibrado.

Yeah.

That's one of our great male singers.

I know you're lacking in male singers.

You like something else we learned in Fire.

Fire Islands.

We said name your favorite male singer.

It took you so long.

And then you said Stevie Wonder, question mark.

Well, did I arrive at a slayer?

What?

No, you're right.

That's a great answer.

I don't think you're a funny word.

It's not so much that you disparage male singers.

You just worship female singers so much.

Can I ask you a question?

Is there room for the possibility that maybe I was just being thoughtful?

Yeah.

In the answer I gave, and that's why there was a little bit of time.

Maybe y'all need

to be more thoughtful.

There is room for the way you shout out.

Yeah, you're right.

The way you shout out.

Maybe we need to be more thoughtful.

There is room for the idea that you were being thoughtful in that moment.

You weren't.

But there's room.

But there's room.

But, Tommy, you are.

You are more united than that.

A little more united.

I've never

seen it.

Oh, my God.

Power of the room.

Power of the room.

Power of the room.

Power of the dog.

Jane Champion.

What if I just didn't let it go the whole time and he just really started to fight and I just did it?

Yeah.

My wrists.

My wrist.

My tender wrists.

What do you think?

What's Matt's syllabus on radio head?

Do you think?

I think, okay, computer.

Okay, Carrie and Rainbow's.

I sometimes find Rainbow's a really good starter music.

It's been a bit of a crazy Rainbow's.

Okay, computer has a lot of rate.

The Benz has a lot of rate.

The Benz is good.

I love Benz is like it starters.

First chorus, first chorus, which is nice.

But I'd be curious what you think of In Rainbows.

In Rainbows is really good.

Okay, I'll start there.

I really will.

Yeah.

And I'll send you a Bjork-esque text.

Hi, guys.

How is everyone doing today?

I want you to know I started In Rainbows, and I got approximately six songs in before I found the imagery disturbing.

It's not disturbing.

It's really gorgeous.

It starts a little, but then it gets really pretty.

I guess it being called In Rainbows, that would sort of, you know, assuage us of the idea there's going to be terrors within the Sonic Light.

Now, there's a song on In Rainbows called House of Cards.

It's not about the TV show, so don't get scared about that.

It's not a Spacey reference.

No.

Most of the time.

How great was he on that?

You know?

Bring him back.

How great was he on that?

He should be O'Mary.

Oh, he should be O'Mary.

He should replace Cole.

Kevin would be good.

Spacey was Mary Todd.

Cole.

Cole.

Terror.

Talk about drag.

Please put Kevin Spacey in O'Mary.

There's no drag queen doing anything as subversive as Kevin Spacey as O'Mary.

Joella, accepting.

Joelle accepting.

Joella as all Joella as Mary's teacher.

Finmo Joella.

Joella.

Zelle, Kevin Spacey.

Zelle, Kevin Spacey.

No, actually, this is the actual casting.

Joella as Mary.

Yes.

Kevin Spacey as Abe.

Yes.

Okay.

As Mary's husband.

Yes.

And who's Mary's teacher?

James Scully reprises.

Yeah.

He goes back and no one does it better.

No Mary.

Could you beat the best?

Whereas the other two can easily be beat.

Yeah.

The Tony nominees.

Yeah.

I think Cole and Conrad, I've seen it.

I've seen it.

You know what I mean?

And we're mad at Cole.

And we're mad at Cole.

Remember?

How was the party?

A gag.

Joyful.

A total gag.

A gag and joy.

Oh, I love that.

Joyful.

Please be earnest.

Well, this year we found we were saying how much like many of our dear friends were nominated for.

This is crazy.

I've seen that.

I'm so excited.

I've seen it twice.

I've actually went two days in a row.

And you talked about it on the pod, maybe even.

I talked about it, but I would love to talk about it again.

Something for them to know is that Kimmy Bellflower, who wrote it, who's incredible, grew up with my boyfriend in the one-stoplight rural town.

And so they, as teenagers, pledged to be like, if you ever get nominated for a Tony, I'll take you.

And so they

were so good.

He looked different.

I will say he did look

fantastic.

Plus, one who made the carpet and the Vogue right up.

Yeah.

And then have you seen Dead Outlaw starring Andrew Durand?

Not yet.

We love him.

Not yet.

I am an Andrew Durand fan.

I loved him in Shucked.

Shocked.

He was so good in Shukt.

He

was Spring Awakening, Inc.

I think we have the Villas of Chernobyl.

We're also

over in the West End.

Why did they ever bring that here?

Because we're dumb.

I think it didn't run that long.

Oh, I see the ice.

I don't think it ran that long there.

No offense.

The show.

History.

History.

Between the

show with jokes.

A show with real jokes made me realize last night I saw Alex Newell at the Mets Pride game.

She sang the national anthem down.

Oh, I bet she did.

Taking it back.

One of the few who's probably like, could we raise it actually?

Can we make it higher?

Oh, 100%.

And then Jeremiah Brennan threw out the first pitch.

Oh, yep.

And I saw Jan was there in the full get up.

Jan is one of my favorite people to kind of just

sing it at a pro at a process.

She sang the national anthem recently.

She gave pre-shows at the Ketchup.

They were saying in the K corner.

I love that.

So Jan was giving pre-shows and they kept calling it the K corner.

And I was like, girl, what?

Thinking they were like a gay guy and talking about the ketamine ketamine

reference.

It just means where they knock up where all this, the strikeouts happen.

The KO short of the KO.

So let me just say that.

This is why gay guys need to listen to hardcore music.

Just stop thinking K means ketamine at every second.

And you're going to realize it means strikeout.

So this is a big difference between straight and queer culture: K to straight men means strikeout, and K to gay men means ketamine.

This is one way we can start to have a conversation and a dialogue.

Well, and it's also class.

You're talking about working class.

For the 1%, K is thousands.

100K, 200K.

It's money, y'all.

Money,

fight the rich, eat the rich.

Yeah, K.

And then for scientists, it's Kelvin.

Yes.

Kelvin.

Yes, absolutely.

And for Kim Kardashian, it's her first and last name.

Honey is on the case.

Starting today, Focus Features invites you to Honey Done.

Follow the clues to the coolest, sexiest, most scandalous murder mystery of the summer.

In a small desert town full of odd folks with strange obsessions, a suspicious car crash sets off a series of deadly events.

And private eye Honey O'Donnell, who was at the center of it all.

As the body count rises, Honey uncovers an international conspiracy circling around a bizarre new church in town.

Now she'll have to figure out who's pulling the strings before it's too late.

Starring Margaret Qually, Aubrey Plaza, Charlie Day, and Chris Evans.

This thrilling dark comedy is high stakes, high heels, and a rollicking good time.

From Academy Award winner Ethan Cohen, a director of No Country for Old Men.

In a town where everyone has a secret and no one can be trusted, the name on everyone's lips is Honey.

Honey Don't, Don't, written by Ethan Cohen and Tricia Cook.

Rated R, under 17, not admitted without parent.

In theaters everywhere today.

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Hey, everyone.

We know many of you probably have a watch list with all the streaming shows you want to see.

Well, if you haven't seen Platonic on Apple TV Plus, you need to add it to yours now.

It's hilarious.

Seth Rogan and Rose Byrne play a pair of platonic besties like Matt and I who are as likely to cause trouble for each other as they are to support each other.

If you have seen it, you already know that.

But you might not know that season two of Platonic is out now.

This season, Rogan and Byrne deal with uncomfortably hilarious midlife hurdles, including new business ventures, weddings, and partners in crises.

And as best friends do, they try to help each other, but sometimes just to make things worse.

These two are just so funny together.

Luke McFarlane and Carly Gallo are so back this season alongside new guest stars, including some seriously funny SNL alums, Adie Bryant, Kyle Mooney, and Beck Bennett, and the fabulous Milo Mannheim.

If you haven't seen season one, catch up immediately.

And if you have, second season of Platonic is now streaming on Apple TV Plus.

Don't miss it.

Do you know what the perfect thing to bring to any event is?

Any dinner, any little party, any occasion, formal, casual, you name it?

What's that?

Casamigos.

Ow, that really is chic, right?

There's nothing like having Casamigos at a party with your friends.

That makes sense, seeing as Casamigos' whole vibe is friendship.

It's literally in the name.

I didn't realize that.

Well, the vibe is working because everyone loves it.

It's good with anything.

Watermelon juice, Bloody Merry Mick, coconut, grapefruit, diet freaking cola for crying out loud.

The deepest friendships have been forged over Casamigos margaritas.

Casamigos margarita.

Now that's a sleigh.

Yeah, Casamigos anything is a sleigh.

Anything goes with my Casamigos.

That is so true.

You can thank me later.

Please drink responsibly imported by Casamigo Spirits Company, White Plains New York, Casamigos tequila, 40% alcohol by volume.

Clouds is out.

Have you seen South?

Just a little BB, whatever.

Clouds is out.

What is this around?

She is a TikTok, but back in the day, just an Instagram star.

And she used to, now she does like all sex toys.

Like that's her, or then lube and stuff.

But she used to give inspirational messages.

And often they were done where you could only see her nails on camera.

And she had this crazy blue synthetic wig.

Okay, we're getting visual.

Where are you going?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's great.

Oh, that's really good.

We're actually really interested in how to everyone listening at home.

Josh just crawled on the ground and went to camera and made claws.

and i want us and i want us in the video to not use that angle and i want yeah it won't exactly use that you're being told to go to that one i'm being told to do it again no no and then and then we're gonna use the opposite camera that's interesting

she'd be like don't use the wide arm okay so i just got a delicious that's actually that that's very muppety pie i have to say i am seeing what it's doing in the video and it was really working and she would have it was really working nails nail snail nails

she was she was uh wearing a blue wig and like eating a lollipop and she goes if you're having yourself a bad day ask yourself why

and she's sucking lollipop she goes living in los angeles here i am living in los angeles

trouble don't last for always bitch so we say that a lot trouble don't last for always bitch i have watched that video when experiences have been shaped for when i'm having it down and i watch her go trouble don't last always living in los angeles clouds is out trouble don't last for always bitch that is beautiful that is a simplified way of what i've been saying lately which is a little bit eye-rolly but i'm like despair is a transitional phase yes trouble Trouble don't last for always.

Yeah,

it's really, it's two ways of saying that.

Clouds, yes, absolutely.

100%.

I have to say this too.

She's just wig blown like a motherfucker.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, come on.

That's what she says too.

I mean, come on.

Wig blowing like a motherfucker.

Trouble don't last for always, bitch.

We'll send it to you.

It's beautiful.

You can put it in the Instagram.

Trouble Don't Last For Always, bitch, is very much a sibling of

ain't Miss God.

Miss God cutting They're cousins.

They're kin.

Okay.

Oh, Mary Party, fabulous.

For Cole to win to Sam to win.

Incredible.

Stunning.

Deserve it.

Two talent people that deserve two talents.

Oh my God.

Then I linked up with Blake and Kimmy, and we ended the night.

Kimmy, who should be on the pod at some point, actually, should be really good.

Blake, too, but he'd be less fun.

That's a quote probably from him.

He'd agree.

And we ended our night at the Plaza Hotel getting banana splits on room service at six in the morning.

Oh, I love that.

Heaven.

Heavenly.

And Josh also was going to pine that day, and he came much later.

I did not make it on the morning ferry.

Because he, you know, did the booger sugar.

Yeah.

He did it.

Yeah.

A banana split at six in the morning.

The snow that goes up.

The snow that goes up.

I had the slopes.

The banana split slopes.

Now, we should, we, we didn't even get a chance to mention this because we did not bring y'all in.

But

I'm Aaron.

You're Aaron.

And this is Josh.

Aaron's on Sandino.

I'm on Women and Men.

I'm Sandino.

I didn't even realize that didn't happen.

Well,

we just have to quickly plug because we said the name Sam Pinkleton, Tony Winning Sam Pinkleton, who is now directing Josh's show at the Greenwich House Theater.

That's July 7th called Ta-Da.

Yes.

I'm doing the canonical one-man off-Broadway experience.

I'm gagged.

I'm so excited.

I'm coming on opening night.

Yes!

You said that the opening night is July 7th.

You'll be gone.

There'll be other chances.

But I'm coming.

Because it runs through August 23rd.

And maybe I'll see a preview.

Absolutely.

How about that?

Seven shows a week.

Are you going to be on your vocal health game?

You don't have to be on my vocal health game.

Because even for plays, you know, you're still talking.

You're still yakucky.

He's underwatching the voice.

I can't.

I don't have a scene partner to yak yak yak.

Do you have an understudy?

No.

Me.

Actually, that would be slight.

People would love that.

That would be a slatic.

Yeah, I'll talk about my deep, personal, specific life experience.

I love Josh's show.

Did you see Aaron?

Aaron actually really amazing.

What he talks about is Josh.

Good.

Josh is good.

But when Aaron talks about

Joshua, Aaron battle with ovarian cancer.

It really sings.

It really is.

Literally, Aaron sings.

You see Spacey as Josh?

Oh, it was so good.

Spacey was great.

He was amazing.

When his mom knew he was gay, but didn't know how to broach the subject.

You know, because I didn't think Josh was that high.

I thought Kevin was really sexy in the wrong.

He looked very in his body.

I think since he's come out, he's become even better.

Yeah, oh, yeah.

We'll never know if Kevin Spacey was a better actor as an out-gay man, you know?

Yeah.

When he was out and after, he was

talking about this anymore.

Well, someone has to.

Well, I just got my, I don't think so, honey.

There's no exciting conversations happening.

Everyone's too afraid.

Don't you think everyone's too afraid?

Everyone is too afraid to get into it.

Too afraid to make Spacey jokes, lest Instagram find out and say, hey, here's a grab of them talking about how they wish Spacey was given another to become an outday actor.

When did we lose him?

To society's disdain.

Oh, God.

I think when people think about

his year,

I want to know the year.

I don't remember.

I'm going to imagine 2017.

17.

You think he was in the Big Me Too episode?

You think he did it right after your pod started?

You think they were linked?

I think

House of Cards going on.

Yeah, I mean, House of Cards has been what was going on from like 2011.

Can I say 12?

Go ahead.

Say it.

Pilot episode, I go,

I've seen Malcolm in the middle.

I've seen the tick camera.

Shit.

Turning this off.

I'm not

whispering.

I didn't like House of Cards.

You never liked that.

I didn't get loud.

I like it.

Probably season one.

But I can get loud too, bitch.

I didn't like House of Cards.

It's the Sandra DS Twine card.

It's a Sandra Twin DS Twine card.

You can get loud too.

We got to talk about the Traders Cast, too.

Oh, yeah.

And no one wants to really talk about Australia versus the World Survivor, which is really the big event.

Yeah.

I would love to to know more.

Please educate.

I love, I do too.

This is dull as hell.

Australian Survivor is now the superior franchise.

Franchise.

No, please.

Absolutely.

Has been for a few years.

And Australia versus the World.

Yeah.

All-stars from all the franchises, but there's like, I'm just going to make up numbers: like eight Australian Survivor players and then eight internationals.

And the U.S.

we have are Tony, Parverty, and Sari.

Wow.

Yeah.

Pretty good stuff.

And one of the Aussie people is David the Golden God.

David the Golden Golden God, Shawnee.

Shawnee.

King Joache.

King Joe.

Oh, yeah.

This is a good group.

Actress Pia's friend.

Joanne.

Whatever her name is.

Pia.

Actress Pia is like my favorite survivor winner of all.

Yeah, I've heard about Actress Pia.

Actress Pia.

So tell everyone about Actress Pia.

Actress Pia.

I actually don't know what that was.

Actress Pia was on a great season of

star.

With Luke Talkie.

And he's going to be back to you.

I love Luke.

Luke Talkie won Australia Big Brother.

Okay.

Anyway, it's just a great, it's going to be great.

It's really going to be a sensation.

Wow.

Even if it flops, it's like impossible that there's not an amazing episode.

I will say I've never seen a group of hotter people than any given Survivor Australia cast, which I think

really is tough about the U.S.

version, too, because we're casting for brains and not always looks, which is fine, but I know we can do both.

What about when we go to Fire Island?

You don't think that's a hotter group of men?

No.

It'd be picking the hottest, but I think the hottest eight from that hot group and putting them on camera.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starving them.

From all of what weekend of Fire Island?

Your favorite.

Your hottest.

Your hottest weekend.

The hottest weekend you've ever been.

Yeah.

Because I bet those Australia survivor guys could never drink an island special.

Could never.

Never.

And you know what's gotten stronger?

Our theory is changed the rest of the world.

Oh, the planner's fucking crazy.

It's going all crazy.

Let's pop it off.

It was a different color.

It was so crazy.

I had one of the planner's punches, and then I almost went over some guy's house, and he said, don't worry, my daughter's asleep.

My daughter's asleep.

And I was like, okay, maybe if it had been two Planner's Punches, I would have done something like, oh, with the child next to you?

I'm like, brand, your daughter, cat in the hat.

And I was like, honey, bring your kids to DragCon, no problem.

But one time,

and the boop.

I had two on July the 4 and I got the spins.

You had the spins?

I got the spins.

I was like, I have the spins for two of those.

The same year that I beat out?

Beat off.

Beat out.

I browned out.

I blacked out.

What is your difference?

Because I noticed you use Brown out a lot.

What's your personality?

Brown out, you can remember.

Brown out, you can remember.

No, and I will just say, I don't know why I'm hedging.

It was a full blackout.

Yeah, because you lost your wallet.

I'm ashamed.

Oh, yeah.

And then the island came together.

The island came together.

The island.

Can I say something?

So, first of all, let's tee this up, which is that Bowen lost his wallet and the community, the island, with Bowen Yang's wallet.

You know, went crazy to try and find Bowen Yang.

Texts from every gay in this great nation of ours.

Well, very similarly, when I was in Los Angeles the other week doing an out-of-town tryout of Josh Sharp Tada, tickets on sale at josharptada.com, I went to Ackbar one night, didn't realize until I was back I had left my tote bag there with one of those nice water bottles that you're like, oh gosh, I've just spent $50 on a water bottle again and some sundries, but I was like, whatever.

You know, it is what it is.

Who do I get a DM from yesterday?

Yesterday.

Ackbar, the account.

Wow.

They said your New Yorker magazine was in it with your name on it.

So we figured out it's you.

Can we mail it to you?

Ackbar.

the investigating thing

the greatest day bar

i got

julio tied with julius have we actually all been together to mourn barracuda no i don't think we have

actually let's let's give space to that because

this is now this could get genuine because for once we've spoken of some of the lore of just like oh what

coming together but barracuda we have to put a pin in because that was such like our

clubhouse for those formative years

god I mean, how many times did we like, how many times did we see Bob like

in the pre-era?

And then, like, also, I just think about like, that was really where we'd go to like pre-game concerts.

Yeah, even still to this day.

Even still.

I find I like to do it in that, well, R.I.P., but we would still do that.

But I just, I missed those days where we were there truly every week seeing drag at one in the morning.

It was like

every Monday.

It was a Monday.

Bob shows on Monday.

Monday, but it's all like 11 p.m.

God, there used to be a two-show night that was we would do fun identical twins and then you'd see Bob the drag queen.

It's like truly, there's no better two-show night.

The best.

And I know half of it is my show.

Yeah, yeah.

No, say that.

Proud.

Proud.

It was wild to get to watch Bob in that era.

It was the titanique of

that time.

It was the titanique of that time.

Same venue.

That's how you have to.

I think it can be many different ways.

Fuck my ass.

Fuck my ass.

Fuck my ass.

That's Canadian.

Well, you are Canadian.

Maybe that's how they say it there.

Fuck my ass.

Perhaps it is.

You know what?

Yeah, it's like a CUDA formative.

What's formative oh kuda formative kuda kuda formative it's like i can't even be like i'm just mournful like i'm sad i also i hooked up a lot there like i remember it was like

or like have pull the pad no i've hooked up there it was like it was like something on the space or not in the space no but i know i know of some filth that's gone that used to go down in that bathroom i touched crotches through jeans there do you know what i mean i know of full-on breedings oh i know of full-on breedings that happened in that bathroom because it's a small girl.

Smelly one.

Small.

It's small.

It smelled like shit.

Yeah.

Go figure.

All of our great spaces.

And also, like, it was, it was, it was always,

it was always busy.

It was always.

There was only the one bathroom.

Because I think it was just the one and one stall.

Luckily when it closed down, because Aaron and I went like early in the week as soon as we heard, but then I was out of town for the weekend and I was like sort of sad to miss the final festivities.

But then I realized if you had told me, by the way, Barracuda closed a month ago, I'd be like, I put in Malcolm Gladwell 10,000 hours there.

Like luckily, I totally, totally.

I had my time.

You just sound like I'm like, shit, we got to squeeze it in.

Right.

We really spent a lifetime in Barracuda.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Dang.

Love her.

Now.

One of the best spots to see drag.

Truly, truly.

Absolutely.

Where I saw Alexis Michelle.

Yes.

The same episode that Katya got kicked off.

Oh.

Got eliminated in season seven.

Season seven.

Katya gates season seven.

And she, it was just.

Five of us in that room.

Katya no.

And me screaming, Katya no, tweeting it.

And then the community coming after me.

This is the community coming pitchforks in hand

how quickly it can turn.

Wait, speaking of Fire Island.

We saw Busted there.

We saw Busted there.

Yeah, Busted.

Speaking of Fire Island, I met Big Bro last night.

No.

No.

And it was

Sheila at Hollow.

Fabulous party.

Oh, my God.

But this lovely gentleman strikes a conversation with me.

And I'm like, oh my God, what a sweet guy.

And he goes, and I just have to say, I'm Big Bro.

I'm Big Bro.

I was like, when was the last time you had contact with Big Bro?

Big Bro and I texted a couple weeks ago about meeting up.

He is so lovely, by the way.

Kind of not what I expected.

No,

I feel like.

I've never seen a picture.

It's odd to me.

So wait, can we just, we'll just level stuff for everyone who's joined us since the Big Bro of it all?

Because a lot of you are new here.

They're basically

all my new followers.

Here's who Big Bro is.

So he is a big part of the lore.

Don't worry.

Ariana's coming on the pod soon.

Any minute now, she's coming in to the bottom.

It's so funny, funny, Michelle.

It's just so funny because two weeks ago, we have an episode called How the Salad Gets Tossed, where we talk about it, like at length, like whether or not it's

sort of like here nor there to lay a towel down on the bed for anal stacks.

Then Michelle Obama neither here nor there.

So this podcast continues to be everything everywhere.

All at once.

Never.

Anyway, we went to Fire Island a few years ago.

I was particularly on one.

I met someone.

He's canonically known on the podcast as Big Bro.

Right.

Because he called me Lil Bro while I was having sex with him.

And I think the vocabulary I used at the time was, I shot a load up to heaven that has never come down.

Yes.

And we've had sex many times since then.

It remains a great sort of relationship in my life.

I love it.

And I still to this day have to say, best I ever had.

Oh, my God.

Best I ever had.

Best thing I ever.

And that's okay if you're listening to this or watching this and we've had sex and it's not you.

That doesn't mean it wasn't great.

He's just the king.

Yeah.

Sometimes you just think you got a king.

And you also famously kept, you were like, I had sex outside.

By the river.

I had sex by the river.

And we were like, there is no river here.

What are you talking about?

And it took days.

And then we realized you meant the bay.

A wide massive water.

I was by the water.

You look at it.

It's quite like a river to me.

I described it.

I don't necessarily think you have to call things the right thing.

Totally.

Especially not in court.

No.

Especially not in court especially not in court if i'm not in court what's the big deal even in court have fun

have fun in court

fake news you said it's the bay well anyway you met big bro i'm shook kind eyes because i always imagine big bro as like me

someone with um you know vim and vigor he has it when it counts i i and now i'm like oh it's a toggle like he switches it on but otherwise in person and talk brotherly in that way brotherly in that way big brotherly

he's actually super he can rib you but he loves you it's it's one of those things where it's like and i think people out there know where during sex it's like one thing one great lovely thing and then afterwards it's like such a sweet thing

like wow your personality was not what it becomes but in in only the best way of course sex is um fake and big bro is in a committed relationship so that's where that stays so oh and you didn't breed big bro i know i was not very good at big bro but he did say because now Matt is selling merch that says he goes to Big Bro, Lil Bro.

Matt, Matt owes me a jersey.

Yeah, you got to cut him in.

Oh, you got to send him one.

Let's just say intellectual property, baby.

Yeah.

He's the one who called you that.

We're in court now.

Can I say there's plans for him to wear the jersey next time?

Venmo, Big Bro.

Don't you think that's hot?

Venmo, Venmo, Big Bro.

Should I wear my Lil Bro jersey?

By the way, you can still buy Big Bro and Little Bro jerseys.

Happy Brad.

Ta-da.

Josh Brad.

JoshHartsfeda.com for all your Matt Rogers merch needs.

I would love if I had a landing page for my merch on your tomato.

A nice collab.

We should just link all of our things to everything else.

Beautiful stuff.

Why don't we just start one big website?

Let's start one big website.

That would be fine.

Exactly.

Let's just do a website together.

This is Zoran and Lander endorsing each other.

Zoran and Lander crossing.

Shotana, you're dating the

podcast.

Should we?

The first time we've talked about something temporal.

Oh, Mary, it will be forever.

Should we marry

for the tour?

Yes.

Let's get into announcement with this.

Now we're committing to it.

But I do feel always, I'm like, this is real, though.

Can I say this is literally how every other single thing that like we or I have ever had successful, it starts as a joke and then it becomes real.

Culture Awards started as a joke, then one year it's like, Bowen, you have a slot at Lincoln Center.

What do you want to do?

Oh, I don't know.

Matt, do you want to do culture awards?

Let's do it.

History awards.

Culture based test was a joke.

Have you heard of Christmas?

Recently, what else did you entertain for the Lincoln Center?

Was there anything else?

Nothing else.

Are we going to do anything?

No, I think it was like, oh, they gave

us an opportunity.

One man Vanya.

Because if you remember, we canceled the culture awards because they never actually were supposed to happen.

We just were doing nominees just because.

I think we had to do an episode.

We were like, we had nothing to talk about.

So we did the.

And the bit was, and we're going to cancel this.

We're going to say that they're canceled.

Oh, and that's the episode you had nothing to talk about?

The only one?

Shit.

Listener.

Oh.

Listen.

Listen.

I don't even know what they want anymore.

So for the twins.

They want this.

They want the four of us.

Okay.

That's what you said.

They've been clutching for the tour.

Now tell them what that is.

Why don't you tell them about that?

Tell them what that is.

By the way.

True don't last for always.

Matt and I were reflecting on what a perfect story.

What a perfect story.

It's a for-sale baby shoes never worn

of

that drag race, like World Pride, like 2019.

People don't know about Pride 50.

They don't know.

I thought people don't know about Stonewall.

Why don't you tell them what that is?

Stonewall was fighting for gay rights.

And people were killed.

Were killed.

Nobody was killed.

Nobody was killed.

Nobody was killed.

Willem.

For sale, maybe missed them or whatever.

You can't take out a single syllable from that.

No, you're perfectly connected.

Nobody was killed.

That's fine.

Nobody was killed.

Willem was killed.

Nobody was killed.

Willem, a true comedian.

Oh,

one of the best.

And historian.

I just think Derrick Berry and Willem are a comedy duo we don't think we need, but we do bonds.

And if they don't think that at least I'm going to their Vegas two-person show,

I'm in Vegas.

So, anyway, speaking of Vegas, can I just say about Willem really quick?

Willem.

Willem, we just met.

Zigging and zagging and watching.

It's crazy to try to keep up.

I know.

Willem, we met at.

What's the matter with you?

Maybe drag.

Maybe drag the musical?

Tell everybody what that is.

She came up, she said hello.

She was like, big fan of the movie.

I was like, well, I love you, Willem.

And she goes, and if you ever need a drag queen in one of your projects, I'm a veil.

And walked away.

And she'll also say to you, you said, I love you.

And she goes, you have good taste.

Oh, yeah, that too.

I love you.

You have good taste.

This is what I said.

This is what when I tagged Camila this season on Survivor, I was like, oh my God, she's my queen.

She responds to my DM.

She goes, thank you for your honesty.

I was like, I love that response.

Thank you for your response.

Thank you for your honor.

Thank you for Carrie.

Thank you.

Thank you for carrying

life.

For the tour.

For the tour.

Why don't you tell them about that?

I want to tell them what that is.

I want to tell everybody what that is.

I think

for the tour.

Nobody died for that tour.

Nobody was killed.

I think out of the four of us, I think Josh might have the clearest picture.

Well, he's on the pitch.

He's on on the pitch cycle.

Yeah, I'm doing some of the people.

I'm Kelly in the morning.

I know how to do it.

I'm doing Kelly in the morning.

Come on.

So, as you know, one of the centerpieces of culture awards is that often the four of us sing a song arranged for our four soaring vocal trumpets.

Trumpet-like instruments.

Four trumpets, each higher than the last.

And there's, and it's pretty rare that anyone sings alone, really.

It's not really desired.

It's mostly four voices together in community.

Or in harmony.

Exactly.

At this point, our repertoire includes three or even four songs.

Right.

Imagine if we added another five.

That's a concert.

So we want to do a show called Four

the Tour.

For the Tour.

Four voices, four cities, four nights.

Yes.

You think four nights in each or four?

That's 16.

That's interesting.

I see.

I was about to ask whether the

pitch was counting down four singers, three blah, blah, two.

We're counting up.

Yeah.

Because I would imagine we would want to do more than four singers.

Five

cities.

Oh, yeah.

Six cities.

Yeah.

Six hours.

Don't you guys think it should be four, four, four, four?

So four singers, four cities, four nights, four songs?

Four songs.

Four songs.

Like,

if we get on stage and say, let's just get logistical about this, okay?

Okay.

Say it's an hour.

It's an hour and a half show.

Okay.

Four shows is a show when you have so much pattern.

Like patter and, you know, you know, back and forth.

What if it's divisible by four?

Or 40 songs.

It's like a mega mix.

Four, four, four singers, four cities, four nights, 40 songs.

40 songs.

40 songs.

And they could be medleys, some of them.

14.

14 songs.

What we promise.

14 songs.

Like an album.

What we promise you is we will try to sing together as four as much as we possibly can.

I don't think anyone like on stage is like alone having a solo.

Can I even pitch a bit that

I would love at one point to you to come out.

Maybe you start, have I heard of Christmas?

Christmas?

Yeah, and he's like, Of course, solo number from that.

Instantly, the three of us appear.

It is a quartet.

So, just one of the songs is, Have you heard a Christmas

example?

We need to.

I like it because I like to come out checks, baby.

If Aaron and I come out to sing one of our huge hits from Dick's the Musical, trust, you're in it.

Trust, you know, thank you.

Thank God this time.

Well, you know, I'm so thankful this time to be in it.

You know what I mean?

Hey, this time I'll get in it.

Come on.

That's kind of interesting.

That is kind of interesting.

Larry Charles has a book coming out.

Well, that's an really interesting swerve.

It's a really interesting segue.

You tried to do that.

No, he ultimately controls cast you.

Yeah, we should have cast you in the film.

And I put you guys in my special.

That's what

you guys are always on the podcast.

Yep, you're part of it.

I feel like

we should have cast you in the bellhouse.

Bellhouse improv.

Not for the improv film.

And thank you for that.

Not for those platforms.

The check is bigger for Bellhouse Improv than it was for the film.

Probably for the movie.

No.

Which part do you feel you should have played?

Because whatever you say is correct.

I honor we should have cast you in the film.

Matt would have been

one of the neighbors, probably.

I would have been great as one of the neighbors.

Yes.

And you know it's true.

Maybe when Darcy peeks her head out and goes, the fuck, hearing us have sex, you're with her in a nightrope.

You guys are.

I could have said, babe, get the fuck back in here.

Maybe get in there.

Think about how fun that would have been.

Baby, why are you in the hall always?

Darcy gave the fuck.

And I come.

Get the fuck back in.

And you go, baby, they're gay guys.

They fuck loud, baby.

Get back in here.

Why are you always in the hallway, baby?

mean like you had an opportunity for the movie to be funny and yeah i know you squandered it

you squandered it we squandered it

we squandered

you guys i'm kidding but i will have my revenge do you think darcy's character is homophobic in that because she's like yes do you think she's defunding like gay sex yes gay guy she's like i don't like that i think she knows they're identical twin brothers having sex but if she did it would make things even worse

because do they did the boys when they moved the same day they moved in?

Yes,

boxes everywhere

that we fuck into.

And everyone, all the props people, it wasn't props people, whoever it was, I'm not throwing anyone at the bus, kept writing like jokes on the boxes like dildos porn.

And Larry was like, this isn't funny.

Why do I think that's funny?

And then we were like, it should say fragile.

Yes, that's funny.

Fragile.

And they fuck into the boxes that say fragile.

That's the joke.

That's funny.

If you fuck into a box that says dildos, what is the joke?

And why would they have dildos?

But this is like the last day of shooting.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

Could say fragile.

That's that's a joke.

You should have been neighbor two to Darcy's neighbor one.

It's okay.

Because it's in the past.

Did we say this last time we were here that Nick Offerman, who plays one of the protesters, at one point while improvising, he said his name.

Like always when everybody was like celebrating the day, he'd turn to his neighbor and be like, the name's Bill Smith, by the way.

Steve Cheney.

Steve Cheney was in the name of the name.

His name is Steve Cheney, by the way.

And I remember at a break, we went up to him.

We're like, well, this is great.

The character has a name.

You're Steve Cheney.

And he thought and he went, although protester number three does have a nice ring.

So he insists, because I think he likes that his IMDB says protester number three.

And not like a round of apartments.

And he's a pastor in the offerman.

Truly.

Honey is on the case.

Starting today, Focus Features invites you to Honey Done.

Follow the clues to the coolest, sexiest, most scandalous murder mystery of the summer.

In a small desert town full of odd folks with strange obsessions, a suspicious car crash sets off a series of deadly events.

And private eye Honey O'Donnell, who is at the center of it all.

As the body count rises, Honey uncovers an international conspiracy circling around a bizarre new church in town.

Now she'll have to figure out who's pulling the strings before it's too late.

Starring Margaret Qualey Arbrey Plaza, Charlie Day, and Chris Evans.

This thrilling dark comedy is high stakes, high heels, and a rollicking good time.

From Academy Award winner Ethan Cohen, a director of No Country for Old Men.

In a town where everyone has a secret and no one can be trusted, the name on everyone's lips is Honey.

Honey Don't, written by Ethan Cohen and Tricia Cook.

Rated R, under 17, not admitted without parent.

In theaters everywhere today, JBL Tour Pro 3 earbuds are for those who are the first to try something unique.

The first earbuds on the market with a touchscreen case, which allows you to control your audio without reaching for your phone.

They also have a touchscreen smart charging case for one touch control.

I love being able to touch my buds and control the volume.

It feels amazing on the skin.

With a built-in wireless transmitter that lets you plug and play with any device you want, the JBL Tour 3 connects you to all your favorite music, movies, and games.

The wireless transmitter also allows for JBL's superior spatial sound that takes any audio and turns it into a 360 immersive experience.

They've got a next-gen smart charging case for a seamless listening experience.

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Check the dynamic lock screen to get info on battery life status, time, messages, etc.

First doesn't follow.

Grab a pair at jbl.com.

Hey everyone, we know many of you probably have a watch list with all the streaming shows you want to see.

Well, if you haven't seen Platonic on Apple TV Plus, you need to add it to yours now.

It's hilarious.

Seth Rogan and Rose Byrne play a pair of platonic besties like Matt and I, who are as likely to cause trouble for each other as they are to support each other.

If you have seen it, you already know that.

But you might not know that season two of Platonic is out now.

This season, Rogan and Byrne deal with uncomfortably hilarious midlife hurdles, including new business ventures, weddings, and partners in crises.

And as best friends do, they try to help each other, but sometimes just make things worse.

These two are just so funny together.

I love them.

Luke McFarlane and Carla Gallo are so back this season alongside new guest starts, including some seriously funny SNL alums, Adie Bryant, Kyle Mooney, and Beck Bennett, and the fabulous Milo Mannheim.

If you haven't seen season one, catch up immediately.

And if you have, second season of Platonic is now streaming on Apple TV Plus.

Don't miss it.

Do you know what the perfect thing to bring to any event is?

Any dinner, any little party, any occasion, formal, casual, you name it?

What's that?

Casamigos.

Ow, that really is chic.

Right?

There's nothing like having Casamigos at a party with your friends.

That makes sense, seeing as Casamigos' whole vibe is friendship.

It's literally in the name.

I didn't realize that.

Well, the vibe is working because everyone loves it.

It's good with anything.

Watermelon juice, Bloody Merry Mick, coconut, grapefruit, diet freaking cola for crying out loud.

The deepest friendships have been forged over Casamigos margaritas.

Casamigos margarita.

Now that's a sleigh.

Yeah, Casamigos anything is a sleigh.

Anything goes with my Casamigos.

That is so true.

You can thank me later.

Please drink responsibly imported by Casamigo Spirits Company, White Plains, New York, Casamigos tequila, 40% alcohol by volume.

Did you guys watch Parker Posey and Lisa Crudo's Actors on Actors?

Yes.

They bring up Megan Millale.

Oh, well, okay.

I watched the first like 15, 20 minutes of it, and then I was with some people who were like,

I can't follow them.

What is me?

I was like, it's Lisa and Parker.

Like, it's not going to be just like...

Non-sequitur's levels like this.

I said, I was going to say, try listening to this podcast.

I was going to say they won't.

They won't.

Try that.

But I was like, I was thinking to myself, like, what do you, why would you want them to be?

This is melodic, watching the two of them be themselves at each other.

Two Trumpets.

I loved it.

Two Trumpets.

Some people were mouthy about.

Some gays were very angsty and mouthy about that interview.

I have a question that I want us to decide on on air.

Because if it's four cities, what are the cities?

New York, Atlanta, LA, Chicago, and of course, Orlando, Florida.

Oh, that's huge.

Interesting.

Interesting.

Because then it pays for a trip.

New York.

You have to think like me.

Can I tell you something?

You have to think like me.

We have to close the tour there so we can hang out.

If you don't think like me, you might not go to Orlando.

Oh.

Think about that.

That's true.

I might not.

And I'm also looking at the crew.

If you don't start thinking like me, you're never going to get to Orlando.

Beautiful place.

Beautiful.

You might never get there.

They all pack up the cameras and leave.

They understand.

They're laughing right now, but it'll hit them later that they should really think about it.

It's not a real problem.

And just so you know, you can't hear it, but the crew's been laughing so much this whole episode.

I'm talking when they're laughing.

Can I tell you something?

They don't love the dirty stuff.

It scares them.

It's pride guys.

Well, I certainly don't see you in your pride outfits.

Can I get a function?

I wore sort of a fun shirt.

Kevin Spacey was robbed.

Can I say who's okay?

You are okay because you voted.

I'm okay because it's a fun shirt.

You, it's pride.

It's turnstile.

You claim it's gay hard rock music.

You, cheetah print.

Makes me think of Lisa Rinna.

You're good.

Did you win the crew?

I don't know.

Did you cut it?

It's giving.

What is it?

What'd your middle?

It's a huge shirt.

It's a converse.

Oh, you got Converse?

Yeah, it's okay.

Chucks.

What are you doing?

Some fun white.

Oh, yeah.

One thing, he did say we have mutual friends, and one of them was Patty Harrison.

So you're okay with that.

So respect.

Yeah.

And Sachi Azura.

Satchi loves Satchi.

Of course.

Yeah.

So he's okay with me.

Everyone here is okay.

Okay.

Now bring him in from outside.

We're going to go one by one.

Bringing civilians off the road.

I've got to tell you, we're actually around a really good dog today.

Maggie.

Maggie and the dog.

Maggie the dog.

And you know, Maggie.

Maggie as a dog's name is a little bit of a trigger for me because one of my dogs was Maggie.

I'm kind of Maggie.

Do you find it?

You like it or you make you turn it?

It makes me remember her.

She actually was the best.

That's kind of nice.

She didn't make it past 10, actually.

I'm telling you about some of these dogs.

Now, tell Maggie to cover her ears out there, but they're inbred.

They're inbred.

Aaron, I do want to ask you a vulnerable question.

Yeah.

And look at you smiling to try to get to try to put up a front, put up a disguise.

Do you foresee you and Michael wanting to have another dog?

Because I had a dog who is dead.

Lady.

Named Lady.

I think so, but I think in a while.

I want to be,

well, I want to be rich enough to pay for a dog walk.

Yes.

Oh, huge clutch.

Yeah.

And when you want to go out of town, be able to drop someone.

Well, well, let's set the ticket price for the tour.

But also, should we have a string section?

Like, we should have an orchestra.

Yeah, we should have a string section.

Four strings.

Four strings.

Four of every instrument.

Four drummers, four guitarists, four keyboards, four strings.

I thought the strings were like the four strings on most string instruments.

Yes.

But there's so many ways to go about this.

Here's how to fill out the show: four

group, groups, group songs.

four solos but with with that i don't want to but four solos i can't tell if that's too much or if we just each do a solo and that's eight songs can i actually literally tell you what we'll have time for as someone who who's done a show with music it has to be it has to be four

four

telling you four songs just because we're going to be talking so much we're going to be we're not going to be able to stop talking but what if we what if we make the show it no listen to me please i'm trying i'm trying because if you think more like me, you won't have problems.

I won't.

No.

Four.

And they're each theme to a season.

Or they're each theme to one of us.

Or an element.

Like we take out.

Like, we come out.

Or a cardinal direction.

Wait a minute.

That's all.

This is all good.

Wait, okay.

What are this is our avatar elements?

Like, like, does it, do we all have different signs?

No, we're both water.

And you're air and earth.

So then you're earth, you're air.

I think Matt, even though he's a water sign, has fire quality.

Totally.

Do you know your rising or your?

I'm water, water, water.

I'm probably the most water.

That's the most fire you can do.

I don't have any water.

I think Bowen is, and I'll say this just to you guys, confused because I'm wearing a yellow and red shirt.

Well, you're Tina Burner.

Tina Burner.

I mean, I've seen it because I'm dressed like

because I'm dressed like

Tina Burner BC

before colors.

Before color.

Before New Colors, BNC.

BNC.

Before New Colors.

The DNC.

Tina Burner, BNC.

That's fun.

Tina use that.

That's great.

You can use that.

You can use that, Tina.

Tina, it's yours.

Rod.

Yeah, no, I could be fire.

I just think

you're the fiery one.

What else is in your chart?

I have fire.

I think I'm water, air, air.

I'm air, air, water, I think.

Or air, water, water, but I think I'm double air water.

What are you?

I don't remember.

Aquarius.

I don't remember.

I think you have Earth.

I think you have Capricorn.

I'd have to look it up.

And what are you?

Earth.

Taurus.

Earth.

Gemini, Moon, Air, and then Aries, Rising Fire.

Okay, yeah.

So you know.

Wada.

That's why I smile when I'm, because my emotions are not accessible to me.

Yeah.

I don't believe that for a second, though.

I'm an actress.

Yeah.

You're kidding.

Here's what happened.

Here's something that I have umbrage with.

Okay.

Professor J.K.

Rowland.

Read Harry Potter.

Yes, every time we say something like that, it is, of course, an endorsement.

Endorsement.

We were in Fire Island, these three and someone named Matt Whitaker.

Oh, and then they all come up to me and they say, we found out what little women we are.

Oh, we did.

We did.

They say, Matt Whitaker is Joe, Matt Rogers is Amy, Bowen's Beth, and you're Meg.

And I go, I'm Meg.

And they go, because you're the actress.

And she lost her mind.

I go, you two are booking acting work every day of your lives.

I am a published novelist.

You're right.

Oh,

curious.

Incensed.

Erased my whole identity.

No.

Calling me a working actor.

Anyway, at least you got assigned one of the women.

Well, you were a dead man.

You're away.

You're Lord.

I'm Marmee.

You are Marmee.

I want days of plenty.

Is that from the musical?

Yeah.

Which I saw.

You have to believe.

I don't know why I'm doing it.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

And that girl.

Oh, it's good.

The girl.

It's really bad.

It's not really bad.

When you take a chance on me, I like it.

Doesn't that just that earworm give you Louisa May alcohol?

Astonishing.

I will say, I do think astonishing blows.

It's so bad.

People just think it's good because there is a big noise.

Because Sutton is belting.

But the Scansion is wrong.

Astonishing.

The Scanshin is wrong.

So don't forget, we're Scansion Kings.

But Amy was played by the same actress, young and old, and everyone was gagged for Florence Pugh.

And I was like, they did it on Broadway in 2002.

Oh, get this girl her flowers.

I did.

Okay, can I, I'm going to bravely say my take about the Florence Pugh performance as an adult, as the like older version.

Yeah.

Bring Kirsten Dunce back.

I think it, I think it should be two people.

CGI Kirsten back in.

Yeah.

Kirsten was perfect.

Woo.

And she burned that book.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, Kirsten is perfect in everything.

She really is.

It's true.

And Winona was a great job.

I love Winona.

And you know what else Winona is like a perfect blueprint for?

Is Is Abigail Williams.

She's so good in the movie.

And you'll be seeing John Proctor as the villain today.

I'm so excited.

With Joan Allen as Elizabeth.

Joan.

Joan Allen.

Elizabeth Oscar nomination.

Come on.

Did you know that?

She's so good.

Yeah.

And for Ice Storm, too.

Ice Storm, too.

And Ice Storm she's a very good player.

I feel like she's a story.

You have some marker on her keys, and you're going to find her keys.

Yeah.

She's got one for a movie called The Contender.

Oh, right.

Which I've never seen.

Yeah.

So Joan Allen is.

I love Joan Allen.

I saw her in

a middling play, not her fault, and not the the playwright's fault, and no one's fault.

Your fault, maybe.

Maybe my fault.

Perhaps you're right.

And I was on the front row, and she's just crying real tears.

Joan Allen?

Yeah.

God bless you, honey.

In this, in this fine play, giving it all you got.

Love Joan Allen.

Love her.

Eight shows a week.

Yeah.

They're crying for me.

Wet woman.

A wet woman.

Everyone making joke about Jonathan Groff being wet.

Well, he calls himself wet.

It's a clip he did because he spit.

He spit.

Yeah.

And he was, they're asking.

Not like that.

He's like, I get very wet.

That is the way he

was asking.

He was like, say that another way.

He was like, I'm wet.

He's like, cure yourself.

Say it another way.

Darryl and Vanity Fair.

Please read Harry Potter.

Please read Harry Potter.

Please read all the books.

If you haven't yet, then read.

They are really enchanting stories.

Although,

have we ever talked about Hogwarts Legacy?

You never played.

See, like, there is such an internal debate among gay gamers.

It's about whether or not we can play it.

But it's like, it's tough.

Like, I don't know where to land on this because like the developers have taken a stance where you can make a trans character right and they're clearly like hey we were we don't with jk i don't think anyone cares except jk like that's the thing is it's like i don't think anyone in that ecosystem is like fuck trans people except jk rowling myself but then it's it's her shit it's her it's her she's getting a correct yeah but like but hey

kevin spacey's in o'mary you'll understand art and artists that is when everything swings all i know are people mad about the hbo show.

People are up in arms if everyone says yes.

I think it is worth being up in arms about that for many reasons.

And I just, you know what?

I can't get over is how ruined those kids already are.

Like, I was talking to someone who knows, and they were like, yeah, like, it's going to be probably

before the announcement of their casting, like starting therapy about really making them understand what exactly they've signed up for and that their lives will be forever changed.

And like, you know, media training for them, the parents.

Yeah.

Like, like, like real real conditioning they did understand for herald night

thank god orna

came in orna orna orna came in and did that orna came in to all of us that got on herald night like is it a good thing to book harry potter probably not no well daniel's okay well but i mean you're saying yeah but by the skin of his teeth he's okay

in a way that's remarkable when someone comes out of that experience yeah i know i guess like as are they all english again i i legit think that helps because they're all like do the work darling.

Yeah, wait, what do you mean again?

Like they were all English in the movies.

Yeah, oh, which we love.

Yeah.

I think it's, I think the English are a little more like this is our real doll.

Like where, like, in LA, it's like, do Coke, little girl.

Like, yeah, sure, sure.

I think it's a little more like,

you know, let's do Matilda together.

Don't you think?

Yeah, yeah.

I think fucking.

I don't think.

I don't think.

I don't think.

Anyway, so the traders.

The traitors.

The traitors.

The traitors.

But I'm excited for the traitors, guys.

I mean, a lot of people upset about Michael Rappaport.

Right.

But, you know, whatever.

The trash takes

himself out every time.

But what did you think about how they did with the Survivors?

I think the Survivor 3 are...

They kicked ass with that.

I think

they probably got Rob Sestranino because Survivor didn't.

And Natalie.

And Natalie?

People were saying she was maybe remembered for 50.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

I like Natalie a lot.

Me too.

Love.

Queen.

Who's the third one?

Jam Jam.

And then this guy, Ian Terry, a great big brother.

And the housewives they've chosen are good too.

This is what I hear.

Yeah, but they make the same mistake that they've made for the past three seasons, four seasons now, one drag race contestant.

I know.

Just give us two.

Just give us two.

I had heard a rumor that Juju Bee was supposed to be on the trainer.

Juju would be amazing.

That's what I had heard because I think that they were trying to take the note of not just one drag race person.

And who is on it?

Who may exchange?

Well, that's good.

Yeah.

Well, that I like.

Well, that I like.

I'm interested to see what allyships happen.

I do think it's like on paper, it's my favorite people, and I think I know the most of these people.

Yeah, because sometimes I don't know the big brother people.

It feels like we really went away from the challenge.

Yeah, we really did.

Sure.

I wonder if that was a note or something.

Oh my God, you see Natalie's cryon or whatever it's called, lower third, lower third, what does it say?

Amazing race, which she was on first, but it is so interesting.

Like, she's a survivor

survivor, and then on the finals of another survivor.

She's amazing.

Well, you know what?

Maybe that's maybe she's pissed off at survivor.

Yeah, I mean, maybe.

I think it was maybe just NBC trying to be like, look, we diversified our profile.

I don't know.

I mean, she was on it first.

She was on amazing.

There's definitely some type of war between the traitors and survivor.

Jeff hates the traitors.

Yeah.

Which he should.

They like steal all his people, but also it's like.

Well, they don't steal.

Do they steal them?

Just give them a chance.

It's just Jeff.

He's.

Yeah.

He needs it.

Moratorium on Jeff, maybe.

I hate to say it.

Not moratorium.

What does that mean?

Moratorium means death.

No, no, no.

Crematorium.

No, no, no.

That's not a death.

Moratorium means a pause.

It means like let's do like a discussion post-discussion.

Post-mortem.

I think it will be worth it to have.

No, no, wait, pause.

Moratorium is pause.

I'm confusing that with post-mortem.

Yes.

Moratorium is what you say when one of your friends is being too gay.

Yeah, moratorium.

Moratorium.

Yeah, yeah.

Moratorium on all that.

Pause.

Oh, great drag name.

Mora.

Moratorium.

Moratorium.

Wait, I'm still so pissed i want i wanted to say on my criterion closet my drag name would be janice films that's really good you know what i mean yeah that's really good anyway did you guys hear my new drag name no beautiful beautiful dress oh mine has always been for a long time pretty girl and you go hi i'm pretty i heard a great one in fire island at the you know little wear away a gueti contest some gay guy who I'm crediting, some gay guy, some gay guy, said Donatella versus top me.

And I'd never heard that.

Why are they going?

That's really good.

Donatella versus top me.

Top me.

So if you're that gay guy,

verse top me, daddy.

It's like perfect as a verb.

Verse top me.

Mrs.

Verse Top Me.

That's what we would say.

So how was it last night?

Oh, I got verse top.

It was really good.

He taught me, but reminded me he could bottom the whole time.

You should verse top.

I can bottom anytime.

I can bottom more frequently, but I like to bottom.

I love to bottom.

I like to bottom.

But for verse topping to be the full gerund is really funny.

He was verse topping me.

He's verse topping me.

Topping me.

He's verse topping me.

You know what I mean?

Totally.

Yeah, I was going to say, verse topping.

Versing topping.

Versing topping.

Versus top.

No, it's better.

Let's just say what we already said.

I got my verse on top.

That's good.

Yeah, verse on top.

We're not finally.

Tops verse bottoms.

We have to stop saying up as three different things and we have to start a war.

Tops versus

dolls.

Wow.

Twinks versus dolls.

It's time we settle this in the streets.

And I think the bottoms are going to win.

You think they will have something to prove?

You think so?

Well, and they have skills.

Wait, tops have skills?

I know.

No, they don't.

No, they don't.

No, they don't.

What else?

No, that's...

No.

Already know.

Verbal.

Verbal.

No.

Tops have no skills.

Okay.

And bottoms skills are

taking dick.

Everything.

Think of the bottoms you are.

They're artists.

Bottoms are

sculpted.

They're intelligent.

They're painters.

They're painters.

They're sculptors.

They're your mother.

They're your daughter.

Fuck your mother.

Tops are nothing.

Tops are nothing.

Tops are nothing.

And they bring nothing.

Honey is on the case.

Starting today, Focus Features invites you to Honey Don't.

Follow the clues to the coolest, sexiest, most scandalous murder mystery of the summer.

In a small desert town full of odd folks with strange obsessions, a suspicious car crash sets off a series of deadly events.

And private eye Honey O'Donnell, who was at the center of it all.

As the body count rises, Honey uncovers an international conspiracy circling around a bizarre new church in town.

Now she'll have to figure out who's pulling the strings before it's too late.

Starring Margaret Quale, Aubrey Plaza, Charlie Day, and Chris Evans.

This thrilling dark comedy is high stakes, high heels, and a rollicking good time.

From Academy Award winner Ethan Cohen, a director of No Country for Old Men.

In a town where everyone has a secret and no one can be trusted, the name on everyone's lips is Honey.

Honey Don't, written by Ethan Cohen and Tricia Cook.

Rated R, under 17, not admitted without parent.

In theaters everywhere today.

JBL Tour Pro 3 earbuds are for those who are the first to try something unique.

The first earbuds on the market with a touchscreen case, case, which allows you to control your audio without reaching for your phone.

They also have a touchscreen smart charging case for one touch control.

I love being able to touch my buds and control the volume.

It feels amazing on the skin.

With a built-in wireless transmitter that lets you plug and play with any device you want, the JBL Tour 3 connects you to all your favorite music, movies, and games.

The wireless transmitter also allows for JBL's superior spatial sound that takes any audio and turns it into a 360 immersive experience.

They've got a next-gen smart charging case for the seamless listening experience.

Leave your phone in your pocket.

The smart charging case has all the features you need to fully control and customize your listening experience and the earbud settings in multiple languages, right from the case.

Use the bigger, clear, 1.57-inch touchscreen to see what song is playing or who's calling you, or personalize the tactile screen with your favorite photo.

Check the dynamic lock screen to get info on battery life status, time, messages, etc.

First doesn't follow.

Grab a pair at jbl.com.

Hey, everyone.

We know many of you probably have a watch list with all the streaming shows you want to see.

Well, if you haven't seen Platonic on Apple TV Plus, you need to add it to yours now.

It's hilarious.

Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne play a pair of platonic besties like Matt and I, who are as likely to cause trouble for each other as they are to support each other.

If you have seen it, you already know that.

But you might not know that season two of Platonic is out now.

This season, Rogan and Byrne deal with uncomfortably hilarious midlife hurdles, including new business ventures, weddings, and partners in crises.

And as best friends do, they try to help each other, but sometimes just make things worse.

These two are just so funny together.

Love them.

Luke McFarlane and Carla Gallo are so back this season alongside new guest stars, including some seriously funny SNL alums, Adie Bryant, Kyle Mooney, and Beck Bennett, and the fabulous Milo Mannheim.

If you haven't seen season one, catch up immediately.

And if you have, second season of Platonic is now streaming on Apple TV Plus.

Don't miss it.

Do you know what the perfect thing to bring to any event is?

Any dinner, any little party, any occasion, formal, casual, you name it?

What's that?

Casamigos.

Ow, that really is chic.

Right?

There's nothing like having Casamigos at a party with your friends.

That makes sense, seeing as Casamigos' whole vibe is friendship.

It's literally in the name.

I didn't realize that.

Well, the vibe is working because everyone loves it.

It's good with anything.

Watermelon juice, Bloody Mary Mick, coconut, grapefruit, diet freaking cola for crying out loud.

The deepest friendships have been forged over casamigos margaritas casamigos margarita now that's a sleigh yeah costamigos anything is a sleigh anything goes with my costamigos that is so true you can thank me later please drink responsibly imported by costamigo spirits company white plains new york costamigos tequila 40 alcohol by volume

i really want to go to twinks vs this year me too but it's always like It's so packed.

It's packed that there's like, there's, there's no air conditioning.

You're allowed to smoke cigarettes.

You're in a war-torn

place i always do the videos i'm like thank god because one of the events is like who can smoke a cigarette the fastest i celebrate but as i recently walked into a house party and went i stepped through the door and said i'm too old

that's amazing i'm i'm getting

there i don't i i love the youth and i love to be the old weird grandmother with the youth but sometimes you just walk in you're like i'm too old of course and and that is that is simply i went with like air conditioning in the event in the middle of pride yes that not because of the Twinks and the Dolls fighting.

I would love to watch that at my age or any age.

There was actually a time, like not long ago, where I was sort of talking about like how, oh, oh, I was talking to someone, but then I realized they were 22 and I just couldn't talk to them anymore.

And I realized I was ages.

And I realized I was talking to a bunch of 24-year-olds.

Right.

And I was just like, bro, where's the land?

Got it.

Where is the land?

And I realized I'm old and weird.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's brave to be both.

It's brave to be both.

Old versus weird.

Yeah.

Old versus weird.

My voice is weird.

That's going to be a crazy cool shit.

Weird chat.

I miss cool shit weird chat.

Me too.

An era.

An era.

An era.

Tell us about Ta-Da.

Tell us what that is.

Tell us about Tada.

Tell us about it.

I'd love to.

So I'll be telling some of my jokes and my stories in the narrative stand-up kind of way.

And yet, I'll be doing a 2000-slide PowerPoint where I'm powering it and I've memorized all the cues.

So we're sort of juggling that tightrope walk while we give you the laughs and pathos that that is the off-Broadway stand-up experience.

What will it feel like, you know, when you, you know, hopefully this is in decades from now when you close the show, but what will it feel like to release those cues that have been sort of swimming in your

easy to know?

I'm going to make them.

How is he to know?

Yeah, it's not the future yet.

I know.

When the show ends, I'm going to make them open source, copyright free.

Everyone can own it.

Everyone can do with them what they want.

I love that.

So how are you going to make it funny?

You got to make Rue laugh.

You got to make me laugh.

What a crazy thing to say to me, man.

Make me laugh.

Bowen Connection is the person who's designed, because there's a lot of text in the show.

We got a custom font made by Mr.

Teddy Blanks, who did the title cards for Wicked.

And Barbie and

Nosferatu.

Wow.

Textwings.

And he made me a font that I'll be using.

Can I say something about people who make typefaces, fonts, and also who like graphic design and brand shit at the highest caliber.

Is it appropriate for you?

They felt different ones, too.

They felt different ones too.

They felt different.

No, they're like, they're just like comedy nerds.

Emily Oberman, Pentagon, and Teddy.

There's like Teddy did O'Mary as well.

Like these people just Kate, Kate Berlin show, Teddy did Kate's show.

Like these people just love a comedy show.

Like Emily Oberman, like designed every SNL logo since the 90s, designed the 30 Rock logo for the show, designed like,

just designs everything.

What comedy were you into?

Can we save?

And she's working on culture i was about to say yeah you can cut it nah i don't

know she doesn't care i love that i don't care either she wants people to know of her work she does no but pentagon is slay pentagon like when i was working in graphic design everyone was like well that's emily obrim and that's pentagon yeah and you're learning

and um it's in that's i assume

a better eye for that but i'm glad other people do there you go one time i was in a musical and i was playing a role and usually like the roles don't dance a lot and i was with another role, and we were standing in the back.

And I was like, I wish I could dance.

And then he goes to me, but then we wouldn't get to watch.

What's beautiful?

A beautiful world.

That's gorgeous.

Oh, I love to watch.

I love to watch.

Can I just say that's how I feel when y'all talk about the Traders?

I go, you go, wouldn't you like to know more about the Traitors?

But then I wouldn't get to watch.

You know what I mean?

You can always watch the show and then British.

No,

no, pop in and out.

No, no, no.

No, but

why?

Why?

I ask with no judgment, but only curiosity.

Why haven't you like been like, let me tell you?

I've tried it.

My truth is, I find it to be boring.

I'll say it.

I love that my sisters love it.

I think it's dating.

I feel neutral on the show and thus I don't really watch, but I can watch with my girls and be disconnected from the season and have fun watching the show.

Challenges literally do not matter.

So that is like a huge flaw of

the half of the episode could be cut and it wouldn't matter in the slightest.

And I know this is not a requisite aspect of of the show, but I also don't watch like any of the franchises they draw from.

So I also don't really care about the Avengers up there.

That's what I meant.

I meant like even the survivors and for both of you, and this is purely, this is not a doctor at all.

Housewives and all these things.

Like I feel like you, there is, there is a

chase an alternate timeline where you guys are obsessed with these.

Well, let me say, if Traders was drawing from

Love on the Spectrum, Couples Therapy, and Bake Off, I'd be watching

it.

It should be Bake Off, Couples Therapy, and Love on the spectrum, people.

Then I'm washed.

My reality, you know, I'm watching it.

I usually only like reality TV when it's a contest.

So that's my problem with housewives.

It's like I find it tedious when no one gets eliminated.

See, I think your issue is you're not watching housewives like it's a contest.

Totally.

Like at the end of the season, the winner is.

No, to be honest, when I see the reunion at the end and you see where they're all going, it's almost like those are their like final seeds.

Totally.

And then from there,

but I like the like next season, all new people playing the game again

versus like, and now that, you know,

but I don't care.

I love it.

I love to watch it with people while they tell me what I am watching.

Me too.

Aaron's introduced me into all the peak survivor seasons.

I've had an amazing time.

Yeah.

I often watch Housewives when I'm on a jet blue flight.

I have an amazing time.

So I get why my sisters like them, even if they're not the shows that are for me.

They're not the culture that made me say culture is for me.

What is something that your lover was into that as a result of them just sort of being so into it that now you're into it?

Oh, yeah.

Because you both have long time partners and I would imagine you at least picked up something from them

and weren't just so into your own thing and just only ever thinking about what you want to do and acting like a narcissist that I think at some point there must have been something.

Yeah, still to be there.

Sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Would you say that back?

I was not listening.

I was thinking about myself.

Just say that all again.

I just thought about myself.

There was at least one time where you were like, hey, that's interesting.

Something someone else was doing, saying, being involved in.

What was that?

Do I have to be into it now myself or can I just enjoy it?

Well, ideally, Aaron, ideally, it was something that was interesting enough that your partner was into that you wanted to stick with it.

There's a meme that Michael and I trade.

It's two kittens and one sort of has his or hers little hands out.

And it goes me listening to my partner's interests.

And the cat likes the cat.

That's really cute.

Because Michael likes to just sort of like often stand because he's a mover around, whereas I'm sort of, I'm always like draped across furniture.

And he's,

um, he's, will just stand and tell me about something that I have no that I could never do or understand.

And I, I'm simply the cat.

And so while you're like that, like the cat, are you remembering what he's saying?

I remember some stuff, but you know, sometimes he gets granular.

He's telling me about like sewing patterns and thing.

And I'm like, I'll never understand this.

So that's not one of the things I'm asking about.

You something that he, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What's something he loves you now love?

Because you know, he probably.

No, no, no.

I'm trying to think of a singing artist he got me into, but that would be like back in college because now we're so enmeshed.

Well, what about 20 years of fucking Venus and Ana?

Who I love.

He got me into those, honey.

Couldn't get you out.

Couldn't get me out.

You got stuck, famously.

Whoa.

Had a hot towel down to the hospital.

There is this like sub-genre of erotica,

like, you know, fiction where

he got you into?

No.

I've sadly got myself into this.

But I don't even like this genre, but have read it.

It's like

the top is really stupid, like very, very dumb.

How novel.

Yeah.

And the end.

Likely story.

He keeps accidentally like, whoa, like getting stuck in the bottom or the cocksucker.

Oh, whoa.

Whoa.

They can't get it out.

Like, oh, my God.

In their body or in things?

Like in their mouth or hole.

Like, whoa, I can't get it out.

Whoa.

It's like a and at the bottom sort of like, like, I feel like it is usually like told from the bottoms POV.

And they're like, and you're here.

Yeah, yeah.

It's more like, I, you know, my roommate was so hung.

First person.

Wait, so, sorry, I, I, I, it's sort of a single thing.

I guess Michael got you into this.

Your husband might come in.

Just to, just to, to confirm, we did not

find a thing.

We didn't find a thing.

I'll think of something.

What about you?

Well, I don't want to give her more airtime, but um.

Blake did get me into Harry Potter because I had not read and he was so into it.

Let's give her more airtime.

No, fuck her.

Yeah, fuck her.

Fuck her.

Fuck the show.

Yeah.

I actually, my real take is I don't want to watch that show.

I don't want to fuck her.

Who the fuck is going to watch that show?

Jerry episode.

Just to make clear.

Especially because we already fucking know it.

The movies don't go the show.

We already have the movies.

You already have the books.

What's done?

It's the game.

It's HBO Max needing, they are desperate always for another game.

Oh, of course, of course.

But yeah, he did get me into that.

And then there's more, like he's saying, like,

not culture, but temperament things.

He slows me down in ways that I appreciate.

That's wonderful.

I want to do something.

I just want each of us to go around and for each of the other three people say that, say a thing that they, that the person got them into.

Oh, I love this.

Okay, this is really good.

Wait, okay.

I want to get this right.

I think it's

both of you.

For me, it would be music.

I can think of like specific music you've got.

And I would say for Aaron, you reinforcing like the survivor thing for me because you had.

I feel like also Guy Brownham used to talk about it a lot and i was just like once i realized that like gays like were having fun talking about it like you you you really have matt rogers

broaden my pop music knowledge in a way that i appreciate because i even like pop but i listen to a lot of other things and you've like gotten me into some girls i wouldn't have gotten into okay really yeah uh-huh okay you because it came up earlier you did get me into couples therapy which and he got me into couples therapy oh i didn't know that came from you i love this led down there's other things

i feel like earlier in our relationship you helped helped me fill in some of the gaps of like

canonical.

This is to Aaron Jackson, canonical, you know, old school Hollywood queer film.

Yeah, yeah.

Because I'd seen a lot of the top line, but it's like I had only seen like three Betty Davis movies before I met Aaron.

And then it was 160 or something, I think.

Yes.

And then I think you definitely got me into Persona 5 and then probably other video games.

It's most, I'm a video game.

I'm that too.

I will say weirdly,

weirdly, but like Jesus Christ Superstar.

I never, the first time I saw it was, was the live version at your house.

Yes.

Oh my God, that was so fun.

That was fun.

A bunch of music for you, bunch of TV, but mostly TV for you.

The reality comes from me too.

Yes.

Yes.

And I love, and I, but I, it's, but it is transferred in this direction too.

Sometimes Aaron reinforces what Matt, what Matt, what Matt tells me about.

You know what's interesting is it's like, it's funny to like have that question and then us like have to answer it about you guys because it's not to be like twee or earnest but truly is like comedy at large like and being yourself on stage like so that's like actually true and real i remember when you guys like were inviting us to hang out with you guys it was like whoa because you guys were the people that we looked up to so i guess that's the answer if we're to be truly honest

you're um do you remember to do that

at the duplex no

like wait and for the tour will you do that no no that is actually

bang bang i don't

have your solo number i'm gonna tell you something Whenever I'm suggesting solo numbers, you're going to think it's like, oh, so Matt can do his bullshit.

No, it's so Bowen can sing Bang Bang.

Oh, I know.

And I like it.

I like to get in some of the lore again.

We gave them Barracuda.

Yeah.

Bang Bang is a signature piece that needs to come back.

I literally think of you when I, no matter who sings that, Nancy Sinatra or whatever.

I've like

Bowen.

He does it better than Gaga.

No, but

I'm doing a Gaga impression when I sing.

Well,

Stephanie would agree.

It's the best performance of the song I've seen.

Can I say something?

I'm reading Jeff Hiller's memoir right now.

Delightful.

He brings up this moment of like him being the, you know, like only gay guy at UCB.

And how much he was like, you know, referencing wicked on Herald Night and the coach being like, that's too niche.

Don't make references like that.

You know what I mean?

I love that.

And that then through like seeing us do twins and then all of this, you know, he was like, I sort of learned from my daughters to be myself.

And

I feel that in a big way too.

Like when when you're saying, like, oh, you taught, I'm like, yeah, but then when y'all were doing what you were doing, it allowed me to be like, oh, shit, there's parts of myself I'm not accessing and not leaning into.

It's all cyclical.

You know what I mean?

We're younger.

It's intergenerational.

Yeah, exactly.

It's not daughters.

Kiss and cousins.

I just mean kiss and cousins.

And also, this is all to say, Jeff is mother, and everyone needs to put respect on Jeff Hiller.

Oh, God.

Jeff Hiller.

The moment.

Buy his book.

Buy

his book.

And watch the show.

And watch the show.

I love the show.

I mean, yeah, but that is interesting.

but I think there's that

realistic thing because I'm like sitting here being like, But what is it?

And then I'm like, Oh, it's like it's hard to pinpoint because it's just like been everything.

Hmm,

I love that.

We should

write a Broadway show.

We should write a Broadway show, all of us.

It's for the tour.

For the tour, it's about I think it goes to Broadway.

A back do you think getting no?

It's like not in four cities, it's on Broadway.

It's on Broadway.

That's one of the four cities.

Four cities, Broadway,

Broadway, probably West End, West West End.

Disney.

And Tokyo.

Disney.

Because I want to do one of the little amphitheaters in the park.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Like as one of the...

Like a gazebo by a Micperson.

Muppet Vision.

That theater's free.

Muppet Vision.

We could do it in Muppet Vision.

What are they putting in?

So the Muppet section in Hollywood Studios is going down so that Monster Zinc can be built.

And the Monsters.

No, sorry.

The Muppets are now going to Rock and Roller Coaster.

Okay.

So it's sort of, as is written, so it shall be done.

Arrow bequeaths to the Muppets

who bequeath to Monster Smith.

Oh, so Rock and Roller Coaster is not going to be about Aerosmith.

Anyway, it's going to be about Muppets.

It will be Rock and Roller Coaster starring the Muppets.

Okay.

That's good.

That's which I think is kind of fierce.

They make music.

I always thought I learned to ride Rock and Roller Coaster, but I did think an Aerosmith ride was a little Disney?

Strange.

A little strange.

It needs to go 10 years ago.

Whereas the Muppets are a big family band working together.

Matt had a theory that Rock and Roller Coaster was going to go to Olivia Rodrigo.

I was told that in a real way.

And it was someone who claimed that they knew.

It was like, well, you know, they're changing the theming of Rock and Roller Coaster from Aerosmith to Olivia Rodrigo.

I'm like, in five,

I kind of understand it on like an I'm gay level, but does that work on a world level?

On a world level, like in five years, this woman is going to look completely different.

None of them will be this early on.

Wait, who is it?

It should be in the goofy movie band.

Oh, powerline power line yeah thank you well wait is it tom nye and charlton who have the they have a bit that um

they want disney to be they want the characters to be controlled like by each character has a president so like mickey has a president goofy has a president like or you know of the of their is their like main pr person and they're like working around like so they control everything like putting Donald in a movie, getting Donald a ride, collabing with another character.

It's just really funny.

So it's like a publicist war publicist.

And it called them the big six.

And who do you think the big six Disney characters are?

I love that.

Well, it's Mickey.

It's Minnie.

But they probably share a publicist.

No.

You don't think so?

Uh-uh.

You don't think?

Okay, we're giving her autonomy and her autonomy is to choose everything is just the girl version of Mickey.

Okay.

If I'm her publicist, I'm fucking getting on the phone.

Mickey Goofy Donald because they're all in Kingdom Hearts.

There you go.

This is just a bad publicist if she's just getting her the girl version.

I can't believe it.

I'm just saying, if I'm telling me that Mickey and Minnie have a different publicist, they do.

I think Minnie's publicist fucking sucks.

Well, no,

you think Carrie Kuhn and Tracy Letts have the same publicist?

They do different things.

I think Tracy Letts says no to a lot more than Carrie Koon because they have different public opportunities.

Because they have different publicists.

Yeah.

I don't know that they do.

I actually would, you know what?

I bet Tracy Letts is like, doesn't even really use a writer.

He's a publicist.

He's a writer.

He writes them.

And so is Mickey.

Mickey's a writer.

Minnie's a star.

I don't think that that's true.

We haven't really seen Mickey out there.

Mickey's not out there that much either.

Shy guy.

He's a writer.

This is what I'm going to say.

He's the Tracy Lennon.

Mickey is Tracy Lance.

I really think Mickey and Minnie have the same publicists.

Wow.

Just like I think Donald and Daisy.

No, you know what?

Daisy has a differentist.

Because you can talk about Daisy and what she's up to and what she's into, but you can't say that about Minnie.

No, but

Donald, I fear Donald has Scientologist vibes because Daisy is not showing up anywhere.

It's Shelly Miskivitch vibes.

What are you talking about?

You know exactly where she is.

She's in that room at the Disney World ride where she teaches us ballet.

In media, we don't see that.

You don't see Daisy out.

It's a huge underrepresentation of Daisy Duck.

You can't say that Daisy Duck is like Shelly Miscovich when no one knows where Shelly Miscovich is.

And no one knows where Daisy is.

She's in two places.

The Mickey and Minnie Runaway Railway in Orlando and the one in Anaheim.

We've seen her twice.

Every time I saw what she does on the railway.

The Shelly Miskovich thing is serious.

The Daisy Duck thing is not.

She's got her own publicist, and she has a job.

She's a dance teacher.

Donald.

I think this is good.

This is good.

And then we were thinking, well, Chip and Dale.

Goofy's got a fucked publicist.

Like, it's what is a gooner.

Goofy's publicist.

He's a gooner.

The publicist is a gooner, or goofy's a gooner.

I think they're both gooners.

Torque no host.

But where does they sit?

Why not that?

I've been really saying

Josh has been saying that a lot due to his Spanish lessons, I guess.

Yeah, dude.

How are they going along?

Oh, bueno.

Bueno.

Mi mares

ama Natalia.

Natalia.

Una lesbiana, Colombiana que vive en Malta.

Y

verad é esta obesionara con Ariana grande.

Ah.

She's obsessed with Ariana Grande.

Yeah.

And she's a Colombian lesbian.

She's a Colombian lesbian living in Malta.

That's cute.

She rolls.

Sorry, how did it come up, Ariana?

Did you tell her that you knew someone who knew her well?

Did you explain her?

You You knew her well.

It's me.

Oftentimes, it's like, what did you do this weekend?

Oftentimes it's like, what did you do this weekend?

I'm like, fuy, sabare noche envivo.

I went to Saturday Night Live and she's like, wait, Ariana Grande hosted, did you meet her?

And I go, well, yeah.

See?

I was like, she's sort of a friend.

Conozco Ariana.

See.

Wow.

Somos amigas.

Ah!

In reality, that's somos amigas.

Your Spanish sounds foul.

It sounds great.

It's gotten better.

It was one of my things after the accident that I was like, I want to reclaim this thing and be like, next time I go back to Mexico, I'm like, oh, remember last time you came and now you speak better Spanish?

You know, like one of those where I was like, I need to come back and not feel like I'm coming back after the time that almost killed me.

It's like, oh, I'm coming back cuntier at Spanish.

And to learn more about the accident, go to Telecom.

Actually, go to chat.

Are you talking a lot about the accident in Telescope?

Yeah, there's like, it's sort of the last like 20 minutes.

I love biente.

Biente.

Biente.

See.

And if you don't know what the accident is, you gotta go to the show.

You gotta go to Trunton.

The accident is profound.

It's formative.

Well, I know the Coltristas girls, the Katie's, the publicists, the readers.

They support Aaron and I in a deep and down way.

Yes, they must go to the show.

And they'll be coming to the Greenwich House Theater.

I know this.

Sam Pinkleton directing, Tony winning director.

We know much more information.

It's going to be

fantastic.

We were joking that

this appearance on Los Coltristas is for Josh Press.

And he goes, we should do it together, right?

And I was like, yes, we did my novel one together, too.

We decided because it's here.

Because I am sort of doing a bunch of podcasts right now for this, and this is the only one we're doing together.

Are we truly like, that's true forever?

I think if Aaron's like, truly on an Oscar campaign

to be the biggest actress in the world, we'll be like, well, but you'll do everything.

I'm not sure if you're not being a mag on my Oscar campaign.

Yes, confess that.

But we've sworn to never be on this podcast alone.

But what if your name is

in the gay village, like Spacey?

I think we will stick to each other.

That's cool.

Well, that's actually for y'all then.

If one of of us becomes spacey, it's like, well, are you going to book Spacey to get the other?

I love the sentence, blackened in the gay village.

Blackened in the gay.

Blackened in the gay village.

There is a gay village.

You must be so, honey.

And it's called Pines.

It's called Pines.

I was going to say it's called P-Town.

And it's called P-Town.

And it's called

P-Kitchen.

Betacuda.

It's called Chelsea.

It's called Chelsea House Kitchen.

It's called Chelsea House Kitchen.

So you're sort of cooked then for the rest of the summer.

Yes.

It's been very fun as people are like, do you have any summer plans to go anywhere?

I'm like, I'm actually traveling nowhere.

I'm spending all summer treading the boards in the West Village.

There's a romance to being like, I'm doing my off-Broadway show seven times a week and I'm going to Via Corota for a martini every night.

You know what I mean?

I'm living in that romance.

Julius.

Or temperance wine bar.

We love it.

Yeah.

I'm living in the romance of being like a summer spent off-Broadway in the West Village.

Great AC at the Greenwich House Theater.

Don't worry, Aaron.

Are you sensitive to that?

You need AC.

Yeah, I want Texen.

So I think it's

not going to be Twins vs.

Dolls.

It's going to be well arricated.

And I want to say everyone should go to Twinks vs.

Dolls.

And I'd love to come.

I would love to go.

If there's air conditioning and it's not in the world, I can't go because I'll be in rehearsals.

I want to get a shirt soon that says, I can't.

I have tech.

Oh, you can't be fine.

I can't.

I have tech.

I can't.

Do the dry erase board around your neck because you're on vocal rest.

Love that.

Nah.

For some reason, an image that flashed in my mind last night was like Sadie Sink, like her whole summer, just like, I guess I'm going home after the show.

Like, I'm not going out.

Because I had the itch to go out last night, but I was like, you know, you know, who's not going out this summer?

Sadie Sink.

Sadie Sink.

Put some respect.

She's got.

And she's a doll.

Can I just say she's a doll?

She is a doll.

Because I've gotten to know her through Kimmy in the show.

Oh, really?

She's lovely.

In that way, where sometimes when a person is that famous, you're like, we felt this about Megan Thee Stallion.

We're like, she could roll up and be a B-I-T-C-H down.

And I'd be like, worth it because of your talent, because of your everything.

And Megan Thee Stallion, the kindest person we've ever worked with, so lovely.

Sadie Sink, nice as all damn dog.

dog.

I love that 100%.

Looks you in the eyes, asking you questions, remembers things about you.

You know what I mean?

Like, wonderful.

And great in the show.

And great in the show.

Really good.

And they all are.

Everybody is great every day.

She's telling you.

True ensemble piece.

And Alisa speaks to Sadie to me that I'm like, it's very cool that in this moment of like

that you're like, I want to do an ensemble piece that like involves a lot of other people, you know.

And it's about.

what it's about.

Yeah.

I mean,

that's what I left thinking, being like, oh, she really like, you know, swung the big stick she's got in the industry and, you know, like in this way of highlighting this play, which is, I think, going to be made much more popular if she, than if she hadn't been.

I agree.

And actually, I have a real request for Katie's and readers because Kimmy, who again is like rural Georgia girl and me, rural North Carolina boy.

And it happens that her Broadway show is running the summer when my show is.

We always joke that we're like, my dream is someone does a two-show day and goes to see John Proctor.

And it might be like, imagine the freak who does a two-show day of our two shows.

And one of your people will do that.

And if you do, DM us, because we want to celebrate you.

Is John Proctor open-ended?

Do we notice?

It's running through end of August right now.

I just got to end of August.

Sadie's leaving, and they have this new girl whose name I'm forgetting, but she's fabulous.

And it's through end of August right now.

Love.

And my show's through end of August.

She's leaving to do a Marvel.

She's leaving to do a Marvel.

She's leaving a Dua Marvel.

She's leaving a Dua Marvel.

Well, it's like you give them one, one for you, one for them.

One for them for them.

One John Proctor is the villain, one Marvel.

And then we have the villain for them.

Yeah.

So you need a publicist to do both shows in one day.

Now, do we settle who the big six were in this?

Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Donald, Daisy, Goofy, Goofy, Pluto, Pluto.

And do Goofy and Pluto have the same publicist?

No, no.

Pluto is Goofy's dog.

God, you know,

because Goofy is a dog,

slave,

slave.

I mean,

so far as any pet is.

Is that what you mean?

Well, they're the same species, but one is

one is

one is owner, one is or

man's best friend by Sabrina Carpenter or a gay couple or couple pup play

goofy doesn't have a love interest, quote unquote.

No, he doesn't.

There's no goofina.

There's no goofina.

Huh.

Huh.

There's no.

It's actually real culture number 30.

There's no goofina.

There is no goofina.

There is no goofy.

There is no goofina.

Bring us goofina.

And doesn't even in goofy movie, doesn't he have a kid but no wife?

Yeah, and there's no goofa.

There's no girl goofa who is goofy, who's related to goofina?

Is she dead?

Did his wife die?

Sorry, there's goof.

There's goofy, there's goofina, goofa, goofa, goofa, that's his ex-girlfriend.

That's his oh, and she's

slutty.

No, goofah's their non-binary friends.

Oh, goofy.

And they're all slutty.

They're goofy's ex and they're non-binary.

They're all sluts.

They're a fucking whore gape slut.

Gape.

Oh, my God.

They're a fucking gape horse.

Oh, slut.

Who shop it with gapers?

I'm telling you.

You want to stop the gapes?

Stop the gapes.

Stop the steals.

Stop the gapes.

Mind the gapes.

Mind the gaps.

Mind the gap.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Sheriff, share.

Frozen gape.

What's your problem with gapes?

Sometimes too big.

Yeah, looking in the mirror.

Look in the mirror.

Did you see that character on gay Twitter that was going around with the big asshole?

No, the character.

When I say character, I mean real human man who was like...

No, and can I say to the earlier question, this is what you've taught me.

This is what you've brought to me.

You've taught me this.

This is what you've taught me.

This is what you've taught me.

You have been changed.

Because

I knew you.

I think you.

I've been changed for good.

The way she goes, for good.

For good.

I was just like, you just...

You say I've never been to New York.

I've never been to New York.

I've never been to New York.

There's a rumor she wants to come back to the boards.

Rosie?

Broadway?

Yeah.

The Irish boards.

Yeah, is that where she is?

Maybe the West End, the North End, the West End.

I don't think she's coming back to America.

I really don't.

If she did, what do you want to see her at?

Well, she did for Redwood.

Well, anything, Redwood.

To be clear, I'd love this country to be safe enough for Rosie O'Donnell to be in it.

Oh, God.

All that aside, what do you want to see?

Rosie

Gypsy, there I said it.

I want to see

her.

But do you want to see her at?

Auto!

Not for nothing, but that was kind of good.

That was really good.

Someone tell me

when is it my turn?

Don't I get a dream for myself?

I could kill the role.

You could kill the role of the music.

Do you know who actually is the role I was born to play?

What?

Norma Desmond Nicole Scherzinger version.

Oh,

I actually would.

You could tell a whole story with your eyes.

You'd be good in that.

If I ever get to see it.

Wait, do the camera the little eye moment when they pull in on their eyes?

Do it to one of these.

Yeah, the eyebrow lift, too.

That's really good.

Dude,

look.

If I ever get, what's it, Broadway Backwards or whatever?

Whatever.

Yes.

I will do that.

Miss cast?

Miss cast.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Probably backwards.

I'm thinking at Broadway Bears.

Oh, you should do it at Broadway Bears in the nude.

Me and like all clothes, like a huge,

really heavy garment.

Yeah.

Singing with one look at Broadway Bears while everyone fucking starts crying.

But you're saying with one gay.

They're not even singing.

They're not one gay.

They're crying because they're so they're like, we paid

so much money to watch Nick Adams.

And like, we have fucking not remote singing with one look.

My college friend.

I hate it.

My college friend, Nick Adams.

Really?

I didn't know that.

You ever rubbed dicks?

No, no, no, no.

All right.

Well, that's a big boring story.

And I wouldn't kiss and tell.

Even if I had to.

Yes, you would.

Oh, yeah.

I never kissed and tell.

Roll tape.

Roll tape.

It's a tape of him kissing and telling.

And then me being like, I'm kissing this car.

I'm thinking of this one.

I got something to tell you.

What's a time you really regretted hurting someone?

When I didn't cast you in Dixon.

Yeah, don't believe that.

When I didn't cast you as neighbor number two, as Mr.

Neighbor.

As Miss Mick's neighbor.

Could have been funny.

I don't know when I really regretted hurting someone.

I was literally thinking about it.

I threw sand in little girls' eyes when we were little.

Evil bitch.

Yeah, it was nasty.

What did she do to deserve that?

She was being some sort of way.

And then she blamed blamed the boy I was standing next to and he went to the principal's office.

Was it

crushed?

You wanted to protect him.

What?

I can see the whole emotional landscape of this.

You, she probably was picking on you because she liked you.

You took sand in your hand, threw it in her face.

She goes, it was the other boy still wanting to defend you, still because she wanted, she's just, she was blinded.

She was in fashion.

Literally blinded.

Yeah, well, I wasn't even talking about it like that.

But yes, I was talking about that.

Little girl, I wish I had not thrown sand into your eyes.

You don't remember her name?

Not at all.

I don't even think we were in the same class.

Oh, where do you guys stand on saying people from high school's first and last name just because you know them?

Depends.

What do you mean, like on air or just in your life?

Yeah, sort of in life.

Like,

all of a sudden, they're living their life and like they're, you know, doing, going about their day.

And someone goes, Oh my God, you were mentioned front and behind name.

Front and behind.

Front behind.

Was it you, me, and Patrick Rogers, were out together one time, and somebody was like, oh, my good friend from Honors English, this girl I used to know in Honors English texted me.

And then we were all like, I'm going to text my good friend from Honors English because the girls you make in the world.

And I'm like, I'm like,

everyone writes

your friend from Honors English.

The real girl.

We literally did this recently at a concert.

Are we doing this now?

I don't know.

I know my exact girl.

Becca.

We'll do it as soon as it rats.

You have to say, God, thanks.

Here's what we have to do.

Becca, bring in my phone.

We're all going to text a girl from high school honors.

Or no, no, I'm just going to shout this person now and we're going to see who gets a text back first.

No, gets a text back first.

Why?

Because you know you're not going to win.

It is very out of the blue.

Like, I have not reached out to this person.

Like, this is hence the bit.

Okay, here comes Becca with the phone.

Thank you, Becca.

Thanks, Becca.

Okay, great.

So you don't have your phone either?

No.

Jesus, do you?

Skipping professional down.

Okay, still.

Skipping professional down.

Three-way, three-way race.

Okay.

What are we saying to them?

Text a girl from high school English.

Go.

Okay.

But what is the

thing?

Whatever.

I'm just going to say back in New York.

Back in New York.

Just wanted you to know I'm doing well.

I book all the time.

Random ass.

Here, I'm saying random ass.

Back in New York.

Hello.

When can we do berries?

What are you going to say to yours?

I'm saying happy.

Happy belated birthday to rescinded the name of

her child.

Yay!

I think I'm going to get a text back.

This is so huge.

And mind you, I didn't say that you couldn't have talked to this person in a long time.

I just said that had to be a girl from high school English.

And let me just say, I know we could have also fetched my phone and I could have participated, but then I wouldn't get a watch.

I can't believe you guys are still texting.

You could have just shut off something sweet.

No, it's because it's been a long time, and it is such a wild, like, what the fuck?

Yeah, it gave me such joy at this concert to text that person.

It is kind of the girl that saved your life from you, Bo and Yang.

I don't know where.

No, I'm just, but I'm just saying, like, it's been like, it, I don't know, it's been a decade.

It's been a decade.

But last text text I sent her, June 25th, 2013.

Mine was.

Oh, my God.

What?

Mine was on my birthday because I got a birthday text.

I don't keep up with high school friends.

I don't.

This one I would love to more, but I just don't.

But these women say more.

She's got her reverse seats on, and I say she hasn't read it yet.

I just want to shout out Kayla Sterback.

You really, she introduced me to Radiohead.

King Camarconi, you got to get back to me.

My friend.

I don't know if it was Radiohead, but she got me into Bjork.

She's Erica Badu.

Melanie Chase back then.

Behind every gay guy with like good music taste is a straight girl in Honors English who taught them those things.

Sam didn't teach me any

cool thing.

Sam didn't teach me any cool thing.

Sam, but she was class president and I was the secretary.

Oh, wow.

Were you good at that?

I was okay at that.

We both won an award at our high school for being the top PE students.

I went to promote the Suffolk Zone Award.

Did any of you go to prom with these women?

Yes, I went to prom.

I went to prom.

with i did go to prom but i went to like a like freshman or sophomore year like dance the valentine's as a gay guy you needed the girl from honors english who gave you cool music and would go with you to prom so pat regan was the one who inspired this no patrick no no no patrick roggers but i can't remember why it came up i i was maybe texting i think i was talking about how melany got me into all my cool music maybe that was it yeah oh yeah we were having that conversation we were having a weird girl line we were like we need all the to text that girl this is the thing about like and say i love you i cherish you i love you i cherish you a lot of gay men who moved to New York City

did the morning announcements.

I did.

I did the morning announcements.

No way.

I did.

I did not.

I did the morning announcements.

I did not.

Three out of four of us.

Were either prom or homecoming royalty.

I was.

I was.

Michael was.

Michael was prom king.

Michael was prom king.

So I was homecoming.

You were homecoming king and read the announcements and I was prom king and read the announcements?

Period.

I think we've been over there.

No, no, I mean, we have, but now I'm just, for the sake of the money.

For the sake of everyone new at home, I'm kind of like, wow, that's cool.

And you're acting it like it's the first time.

Because you're an actor.

And you know, Bowen's superlative was most likely to get on Saturday Night Live.

Was it really?

Yeah, but that was like the funny way of like funny as like class clown.

That was like, yeah, mine was.

I was second place for three things.

Mine was most likely to do A21st first movie.

A21st.

A21st.

A21st.

I guess we'll still have to see.

I guess we'll see if that happens in A21st.

Mine was most likely to be on Broadway.

Fuck it.

Bag it.

Which I haven't done.

What was yours most likely to be on Broadway?

Love.

I was second place for best dressed, most athletic, and attached at the hip with my bestie.

I actually don't

remember.

I think it was Class Clown or something, but I don't remember.

Sure.

And then

Otto's English class girl who taught you cool music.

Oh, yeah.

That's like the common threat.

Well, I won.

One out of three ain't bad.

I bet you have another one in your

lead of place feels very gay guy going to New York.

Oh, wait.

Oh, my God.

Did she get back?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

What did she say?

OMG, is this for real?

Every time I see, oh, she's not.

Wait, what did you say?

Do you feel comfortable reading what you said?

I said random ass hello.

It's Bowen.

If you're ever in New York, please reach out and say, hey, hope all is well, Kayla.

Heart emoji.

And what did she say?

OMG, is this for real?

Every time I see you on screen, I get so excited.

You made it.

I actually still have you saved in my phone.

I'm so happy for you.

I'll definitely reach out if I ever find myself out that way.

Kayla.

Honors English.

Kayla.

Kayla Straback.

Can I say...

Can't believe Sam is flopping so hard.

So you made it to contest.

This sucks, Sam.

I find some of this was after the accident, but some of it I think is just becoming the age we're becoming.

I have been a lot more wistful because I do feel like, especially being like, yeah, rural South and whatever, I moved on from that period of my life.

And then I just not, I don't think of it much.

And I've become very wistful for some of that.

And I've done a lot of this where I'll just like remember people and text.

And I'm doing a lot of that recently.

It's good.

I think it's very healthy to keep these connections

and to tell these people, like, you know, you did something.

Yeah.

I think because I, yeah, because I literally

because I knew you.

I have been changed for good.

I've been changed for good.

I really am.

For good.

Because

I knew you.

We really, we, oh, we knew more of that.

Has Rosie been on?

No, I wouldn't be able to do that.

We need Rosie on.

We need Rosie on.

We need Rosie on.

I think it may have been a discussion at one point.

You need to have Kimberly Bellflower and Rosie O'Donnell.

I'm sure Rosie is a fan of yours.

And Rosie one time said a very nice comment about something I was, I did.

Were you

dicks?

I bet she was a little bit more.

She was going to say there's a certain class of celebrity where I go, I wonder if they've seen Dicks because I feel like they probably have.

And Rosie is one of them.

You think she has?

Don't you imagine?

She loves musicals.

I think she loves musicals and she loves all things gay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She said a nice thing about, I love that for you.

Oh, that's a good idea.

I can see her liking that.

Yeah.

Well, I loved that show.

This is what you tell A24 Marketing.

Hey, A24.

A24.

Hey, Ariana Grande, huge fan of Dix the Musical.

Yeah.

Use that.

Clip that.

Clip that.

Clip it.

Clip it.

Good.

She was, she was.

So put out the Blu-ray, A24.

Ariana wants to buy it.

You know what Ari loves?

I've told you guys this.

Desperate for your cock.

She kept saying that in her color.

Desperate for your cock.

What?

That is an amazing lyric.

Give me that pussy.

Nathan Lane sang it.

Give me, give me that pussy.

Ari and Cynthia were great on Drag Race.

Very funny.

Oh, I haven't seen.

I haven't seen it.

It was fun.

Oh, I haven't seen

it.

And they, now they'd filmed it before the first one came out.

But everything is clearly foreboding for it.

Yes, which is very funny to me.

I just tell you how time works.

And the falseness of show business.

Have we been over this in bracket two?

Which, like, a moment that I think speaks to all four of us, which is when bracket two first meets up in the workroom, Lydia Butthole Collins goes to

Mistress Isabel Brooks and goes, Mistress, it's so good to see you.

And then Mistress goes, and it's interesting to see you.

Interesting to see you.

I love Mistress.

That whole brand new was going to be a fake bitch.

Gagatrondra.

Gagatrondra.

It was

crazy.

Interesting to see you.

Interesting to see you.

I'm like, I want to use that suit.

The girl's really gay.

I got to tell you who also ate this last episode up was the ginger midge.

Should we, and for the tour, like Chapel Roan, have a local drag queen open each show?

And so now let's pick from New York, Chicago, L.A., and Orlando.

Okay.

Who are the queens?

New York, Bob.

Bob, the original, New York Queen.

Bob opening for us is Bob.

Bob is local in L.A.

now.

Yeah.

Bobby.

Bob is open from Madonna.

It's not what it's about.

It's not what it's about.

Bob opens New York.

Chicago, Shea-Kool-A.

She Kool-Aid in Chicago.

Oh, God.

Okay, I love that.

You better pay up.

And we will pay what?

We will.

We get to start $3,000.

We actually love to text people when we're having people do our improv shows.

We always always say, this is a paid opportunity.

Because it is.

It is.

It is actually a chat.

I enjoyed the chat.

I think we should say that to these draggers.

This is a paid opportunity.

We're going to open for us.

Probably what large venue we do.

This, don't worry.

This is a paid opportunity.

This is a paid opportunity.

It's so funny to me.

LA, I want Delta work.

Delta work.

It has to be Delta.

She could open for us.

Orlando, Roxy Andrews, of course.

100%.

Oh, yeah.

The original.

Ginger Minge doubleheader.

Double header.

Double header.

Double header.

Never forget when me and Henry Kaperski ran into Roxy Andrews at Islands of Adventure.

That's really special.

That's really good stuff.

I love that.

Really good stuff.

Honey is on the case.

Starting today, Focus Features invites you to Honey Don't.

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In a small desert town full of odd folks with strange obsessions, a suspicious car crash sets off a series of deadly events.

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Starring Margaret Kwally, Aubrey Plaza, Charlie Day, and Chris Evans.

This thrilling dark comedy is high stakes, high heels, and a rollicking good time.

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In a town where everyone has a secret and no one can be trusted, the name on everyone's lips is Honey.

Honey Don't, written by Ethan Cohen and Tricia Cook.

Rated R, under 17, not admitted without parent.

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Hey, everyone.

We know many of you probably have a watch list with all the streaming shows you want to see.

Well, if you haven't seen Platonic on Apple TV Plus, you need to add it to yours now.

It's hilarious.

Seth Rogan and Rose Byrne play a pair of platonic besties like Matt and I, who are as likely to cause trouble for each other as they are to support each other.

If you have seen it, you already know that.

But you might not know that season two of Platonic is out now.

This season, Rogan and Byrne deal with uncomfortably hilarious midlife hurdles, including new business ventures, weddings, and partners in crises.

And as best friends do, they try to help each other, but sometimes just make things worse.

These two are just so funny together.

I love them.

Luke McFarlane and Carla Gallo are so back this season alongside new guest stars, including some seriously funny SNL alums, Adie Bryant, Kyle Mooney, and Beck Bennett, and the fabulous Milo Mannheim.

If you haven't seen season one, catch up immediately.

And if you have, second season of Platonic is now streaming on Apple TV Plus.

Don't miss it.

Do you know what the perfect thing to bring to any event is?

Any dinner, any little party, any occasion, formal, casual, you name it?

What's that?

Casamigos.

Oh, that really is chic.

Right?

There's nothing like having Casamigos at a party with your friends.

That makes sense, seeing as Casamigo's whole vibe is friendship.

It's literally in the name.

I didn't realize that.

Well, the vibe is working because everyone loves it.

It's good with anything.

Watermelon juice, Bloody Mary Mick, coconut, grapefruit, diet freaking cola for crying out loud.

The deepest friendships have been forged over Casamigos margaritas.

Casamigos margarita.

Now that's a sleigh.

Casamigos anything is a sleigh.

Anything goes with my Casamigos.

That is so true.

You can thank me later.

Please drink responsibly imported by Casamigo Spirits Company, White Plains, New York, Casamigos tequila, 40% alcohol by volume.

Well, I think it's time for I don't think so, honey.

I think it is time for I don't think so, honey.

This is our 60-second segment where we take some time.

Make a 60 seconds.

Like I just said, if you listened, and I can tell a lot of you are and a lot of you tuned us out a long time ago.

Well, listen now.

Next part's going to be good.

Listen now.

This is the first thing.

I don't think so, honey.

We ran up against something in culture we don't love.

I'm ready to go.

This is Matt Rogers's.

I don't think so, honey, and his time starts now.

I don't think so, honey, people having a problem because there are people out there that have a problem with Sabrina Carpenter's album cover being.

her getting walked around like a dog.

Let me tell you something.

This is, you're never going to look back on rousing one of these pop girlies about the like subversive thing they're doing and feel good about it later.

You got to let the girls be the girls.

If you were one of Madonna's early critics, you're likely embarrassed now.

If you're one of Gaga's early critics, you're likely embarrassed now at all.

Sabrina counts as this.

If she wants to get walked around like a dog and put it on the album cover, that was her empowered decision.

I am short of it.

30 seconds.

And lots of people like to get walked around like dogs.

All right.

I actually have been confronted with this myself sexually.

It wasn't for me to walk the person around like a dog, but I celebrate that person.

I know they're going to find an amazing partner.

Just like I know Sabrina's going to find an amazing partner.

I don't think she's looking for that when she put this album title together.

I think she was looking for very, very much this discussion.

And guess what?

She won.

You know who loses?

Oh, you losers who are criticizing her.

You man child.

Why don't you S-T-F-U?

And that's what I'm...

I don't think so, honey.

Very good.

Very good.

She's kind of a Pluto.

To goofy.

I think she should be able to be walked on

a leash, off-a-leash.

That guy who wraps himself in the car.

I think Sabrina and Carlos.

Pluto have the same publicist.

Yes.

Sabrina and Pluto.

Yeah, that would be smart because they're both around like dogs.

They're doing different things.

Blonde.

Blondes who walk around like dogs.

Yeah.

Can you believe, though, that people are literally like,

I guess this is one of the things that they have

now?

I'm not going to do this conversation, honestly.

Yeah, it's just like if the album cover is her, and it's like, it's called Man's Best Friend, the album, and she's on all fours, and like someone's got a bunch of her hair in their hand.

Cool.

And it's like, and people are like, well, what about the message it sends to young girls?

I'm like, are you actually saying that sentence?

Man is a non-gendered term.

I think boy is non-gendered, man.

Is non-gendered.

Sis, girl.

These are all non-gendered terms.

Who knows whose best friend is.

Her responsibility to be a good Roman friend.

Friend is 100%.

Friend is ungendered.

Best is gendered.

Gender.

Best is her.

Best is she, her.

She, her.

E-best.

She, her.

Um, I don't mean to be this person, but I feel like this, this, this discourse coming out while World War three is starting right also

so that it kind of it's like what what's going what are we doing well i mean like i do think it's gotten to the point now where in the like effort to talk about anything else other than whatever horrors and by the way we are recording this a couple weeks before this comes out so we may have experienced more horrors nice to meet you um but like it

it's kind of just like

the desperation is is jumping out in terms of like finding other things to talk about and this is just so stupid because we've had had the conversation a million fucking times.

Like she is

outside of this thing of like, what's she going to mean to young girls?

She is like an artist, always empowering her.

And also, like, she said in Rolling Stone, like, it's not her that's making the songs popular.

It's her that's making the songs quality.

You are making them popular by consuming them.

And so if you have a problem with it, stop consuming it.

You just refuse to do that because you always be streaming Sabrina.

You can't help it.

Did you watch The Idol?

The Weekends the Idol?

I did not.

No.

Um, The little girl star.

Lily Rose.

Lily Rose.

Lily Rose.

Her,

she released an album cover.

This is fictional.

A pic leaked of her with cum on her face.

Okay.

And then Troy Sivan is like, let's make that the album cover, babes.

So, right.

In a fictional world, a girl had cum all over her face as an album.

You never find me being like.

Never forget

people did this to me in my album when the cover was my gape.

Yeah.

And look at them now.

You're that character from Twitter.

I'm that character from Twitter.

And they said, what about what this is saying to young girls?

And I said, who?

Yeah, I don't care.

Excuse?

This isn't for young girls.

Speaking of cum,

this kind of segues nicely into my own.

Perfect.

So this is Bowen Yang's.

I don't think so, honey.

His time starts now.

I don't think so, honey, when cum mixes with water, then it becomes little rubber bullets.

Now you work with ice.

Oh, okay, honey.

I see.

You got to pick a consistency and stick with it.

I don't like that it becomes hard and a little rubbery.

Congeals.

It congeals into these little balls.

You will never be flubber.

You will never

coast jar with Robin Williams.

May he rest

in peace.

And power.

And pick a color besides white.

White

first thought.

It could have been green.

You could have been flubber.

But you will never be.

Come when it mixes with water.

I don't like it.

Speaking of spacey, when I jerk off in the shower, I don't want to do that anymore because the cum gets all weird.

15.

American beauty.

American beauty.

It's a new American beauty reference.

And, God, what else?

What's the big pop culture moment that come has had?

Something about Mary?

Yeah, Monica Lewinsky.

You know,

White House interns dress.

You got to pick.

Jeffrey Toobin.

That was all the 90s.

You haven't had a big moment since the 90s.

And that's one minute.

Come, you will never be Flubber.

Come, you will never be Cum.

You're stuck in the 90s, not like Flubber.

The thing that gets lost about Flubber is that Flubber was actually just trying to be helpful like that's the thing that and he didn't like it's like you created they want a terrible assistant i mean they wanted to lift the mood they wanted to and create a better work environment they wanted to get things done quickly that was the idea of the invention was lift the mood like was to lift the i can't remember i've seen the film i can't quite recall i think the plot of the film was he created flubber

And correct was just trying to party.

Mind of its own.

Mind of its own.

Flubber was just trying to party and also like, I don't know, like be or be around.

That's actually what's fucked up about cum.

That cum is so like, oh, shoot me.

It's fun.

It feels good.

Ha ha ha.

It's also like, use me to make your family.

Right.

Which is it?

But also, I'll ruin your sheets.

Yeah.

And also, I'll ruin your shits.

They're caught in the arm hair with the water.

Caught in the arm hair with the water.

Despicable.

You've been fucking in a tub lately or in a pool.

You've been fucking in a tub.

I want to know where this comes from.

You've been fucking in with a shower, though.

Did this shit come in a tub?

No.

Where does this come from?

Tell us where the cum comes from.

It actually hasn't happened in a while, but it's one of those things.

Oh, yeah.

The first time it happened, you encountered this you're like what the well it should wash off you're like okay now i see no it still won't go i jacked off in a hot tub years ago and saw this with my own two eyes and i was like well if that's what happens that's the last time for that you think you're sick you think something's wrong with you

that's the last time for that yeah i said that's

that'll be

no i think it was i don't make it really a habit of doing it in the shower you were by the river yeah

we can't ever tell what happened to that cum because it never came out of the sky right?

Yours is long gone.

Oh, it was right into the sky.

It did not come.

I actually didn't know that he knows he's big bro.

He knows.

I'm sure someone has listened to, you know, they've been.

Do you think the fuck Matt Rogers in 2021?

Yeah.

What a year.

Down by the river.

Down by the river.

He might just be Big Bro.

God text him after this.

Yeah.

What was I?

I was going to say something.

Everybody text Big Bro.

Everybody text you, bro.

Text Big Bro.

He responds to you first.

Text your king top.

I will say, here's the only bodily thing that is allowed to ruin my sheets.

Oh, God.

Poop and shit.

And even that doesn't ruin it.

You can get that.

Shout out.

No, no, no.

You just see clean.

Yeah, you need oxy.

But you say, when that happens, you say, God bless, I don't mind.

I say.

And this happens to you every morning, you're saying?

And it's not happening to other people.

And it's permissible.

Poop.

Poop.

Do you guys think that we can see poop?

We can see poop.

We can see poop.

We can see poop.

Do you guys think out of Bone and I's Friendship that he's the top and I'm the bottom?

Out of your friend, like within friendship, top, friendship, bottom.

Who's the top and who's the bottom?

God, my gut.

You're the top, but I don't know if that's right.

I'm just going with my gut.

I think Matt's the top.

Yeah.

I'm going to go top, bottom.

I'm a chic chill bottom.

A chic chill bottom.

What's the lyric?

Jack.

Can you come around here with that?

Who's the top?

Who's the bottom in our friendship?

Do you think two tops?

Two tops.

Two tops.

Y'all are two tops.

We're two bottoms.

No brains and no skills.

Never the twain shall meet.

Never the twain.

Never the twink shall meet.

Never the twain.

Never the twain shall twink.

So what do you think?

You got one.

I don't think so honey.

I got to get one.

I have one.

Yes.

I'm ready.

All right.

Well, this is Josh Sharp's.

I don't think so honey is time starts now.

I don't think so.

People who, I don't think so, honey.

No.

People.

Let's take it from the top.

That's right.

That was insulting.

No.

Let's take it from the top.

Keep all that in because that was insulting.

Let's take it from the top.

You've been on this show for nine years.

You're like to see a pro

fuck up so bad.

It's inspiring.

Let's take it from the top.

All right.

This doesn't happen during the off-Broadway play.

I have a very good one.

Okay.

This is Josh Sharp's.

I don't think so, honey.

His time starts now.

I don't think so, honey.

People who don't like the things I like.

I like things.

Yes.

And when the things that I like happen, I like that.

The feeling I feel is life.

Yeah.

So if someone does something I like, maybe I join in because I like that thing too.

Or even if the circumstances don't allow me to join in, I like that they're doing the thing I like.

Don't do it.

When people do something I don't like, I feel disliked.

Got it.

I am frustrated.

I am annoyed.

I don't like that.

Why are you doing this thing I don't like?

I could just do the things that I like.

Do better.

So I implore you when you are around me and honestly, even when you aren't, because behind behind closed doors, you're your most true self.

Do things I like.

Listen up, honey.

Don't do things I dislike.

10 seconds.

I wish to feel like.

I do not want to be clouded by dislike in my day-to-day life.

Clouded?

All of you need to do things that I like when you are around me.

And even if not, I like what I like, and you should too.

And that's one minute.

Wow.

That was powerful.

That was so good.

That was poetry.

Poetry.

That was poetry

that's gonna have a lot of people thinking

what are what are examples of things that you like things that I like are like things that I like that I like yeah and the things I don't like oh girl you better not be doing those don't do them because those are the things I don't like and you won't like that and I will not like that you know what I like when you do things I like yeah you know what's good about all of us

we all know the things that each other likes that we just don't and we don't push it of course not like I told you when you guys were vibing vibing out to Bjork at all, I just, I sat and enjoyed

our joy.

Yeah.

And I started to feel a little sick at that moment.

Because of the drugs, not because of our joy.

No, that was because of other things.

Remember?

Oh, that was when I got whole fever.

She already had.

That was whole fever.

That was a great.

That was great trip.

That was a whole other era.

Hole.

Whole.

Other era.

Gape.

All right, Aaron.

Do you have an I don't think so honey?

I have one.

It came to me.

All right.

This is Aaron Jackson's I don't think so.

God, girl, don't forget.

Good God, girl.

I'm ready.

This is Aaron Jackson's.

I don't think so honey's time starts now.

I don't think so, honey.

Why has no one started a business that's like a rideshare?

Like, it's like a limo that you ride in with your friends, except it's in a hearse and it's really spooky.

Uh-huh.

I don't think so, honey.

Think there'd be a coffin in there

and it could pop up and scare you, and there's dry eyes.

Andrew

andrew durant could get hidden

if the show ever closes which it won't he could be the dead outlaw and um 30 seconds and the driver could be kind of dracula and would you like to roll the windows

and and there's dry ice and you drink spooky cocktails and there's all sorts of um

spider webs everywhere and i just think that this is a business opportunity that could go year-round but certainly around halloween or the fall it could take you to a haunted house It's pretty all year round.

All year round.

Five seconds.

And I just think it's a really strong idea, and I need somebody to do it.

I don't think so.

That's what my honey is.

Say, honey, say honey, honey.

I'm sure this exists.

You think you're sure?

I think it's like, you're looking for essentially like a mobile haunted

car.

I want a haunted limo, but I think in a hearse.

I think it's bigger than that.

It's two different cars.

And sometimes it's Lauren from

Lauren Ambrose.

If you take away some of your specifics, I think you'd be really excited to find out that this is a thing.

I don't want to take away my specifics.

This is exactly what

specifics are what make us us and make us unique.

Yes.

Especially during Prime Month.

Especially during Prime Month.

I shouldn't have said that, especially during the month.

Right now, during Prime Month, when the powers of the B are trying to take away all of our specifics?

You think it could be a long hearse?

Oh, absolutely.

A long hearse.

I love cocktails and cobwebs.

No, I was saying in the middle of that escape car as an escape room, but car.

Yeah.

Oh.

And that's just just not just jumping out of the car.

That's just jumping out of the car.

But I think there should be an escape room that is themed to you're kidnapped in the church.

There's so many puffs on these puffs.

But that's different than what I want.

I know, it's very different.

But it's a potential revenue stream.

Sure.

The idea is so good.

I'm not a businessman.

I'm an artist.

So I don't have the capabilities to make this.

If this bought you a dog walker,

you would.

And a beautiful place to board the animal when I travel to Paris or other people.

And you want a dogwalker slave like Pluto?

That's what you were saying.

Pluto is a slave to Goofy because you want a dog walker slave because they'd be the same species as you.

And yet they have to walk your dog.

No, because they get paid.

Okay.

I don't know if Lerni's getting paid.

Well, we don't know if it's enough.

Do you think the person wanted to get rid of it?

I hope the person watching Walking Sabrina got paid.

I think so.

I think so.

I think probably that was.

Dogwalker should be paid.

Yeah.

Also,

dogs are very empowered.

Dogs are very empowered.

to be.

They're some of the most empowered creatures we have.

They like to obey.

Maggie is.

Sub is dom.

Sub is dom.

Maggie, the dog that we met today, darling dog.

Can we just send Maggie in for the last part of the episode?

Maggie.

Can we lie in her on camera?

That lie in Maggie.

That's very nice, I think.

Let's get Maggie to sign a release.

This won't make the dog nervous at all.

Let's see.

Stick Maggie's paw in ink and put it on a release.

Oh, okay.

And then let's get Maggie in here.

While they're getting Maggie in here, does anyone have anything final they want to say?

Yes, I would have

come see.

Jump to me.

Come on, Maggie.

Come on, Maggie.

Hi, Maggie.

Come say hi to her.

Oh, my God.

So sweet.

She's a beautiful beast.

Oh, she's so sweet.

Oh, my God.

Now, are any of the cameras getting this?

She's presenting.

She's presenting.

Come, Maggie.

Maggie, come over here.

Maggie, come over here.

She's Maggie.

Come on, little Maggie.

Oh, you're too good.

Oh,

yeah.

Stretch out.

When you're laying down, stretch.

And that's where Downward Dog comes from, just so y'all know.

We woke her up oh

they all sleep 17 hours a day yeah yeah and they love to be woken up you know maggie friends turn five she's 35 35

that's your age right

same z's girl so you want ac at twinks vs dulls too don't you you know i think too i wonder how maggie would respond for us singing one of our songs from for the tour that would be good to end the episode yeah yeah maggie should do mezzo piano for once yeah mezzo piano maggie this one is gonna go out to you girl

and basically we want you to know you're perfect just the way you are, which doesn't necessarily have to be a good tradition.

Understood, I was gonna do a Billy Joel.

Just the way you are.

Yeah, Bruno Martin, yeah.

But what is it?

I was gonna do Billy Joel.

I love you, Jess.

Here, here we go.

If it's from Before the Tour, yeah, it's from Before the Tour.

Bang, bang,

she shot you down.

Bang, bang,

I hit the ground.

Bang, bang,

that awful sound.

Bang, bang, bang,

shot me

up here now.

Seasons play.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Lost Culture East.

This is the production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio Podcasts.

Created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

Executive, produced by Anna Hosnier and produced by Becca Ramos.

Edited and mixed by Doug Babe and Monique Nikola Bord.

And our music is by Henry Kaberski.

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Hey, big news for all you Platonic fans.

Season two is officially out on Apple TV Plus.

If you missed season one, here's the gist.

Seth Seth Rogan and Rose Byrne, Legends, play a pair of platonic besties, just like Matt and I, who are a total disaster together in the funniest way.

I can't wait to see that.

Luke McFarlane.

Well, now I'm really excited.

Yeah.

Luke and Carla Gallo.

Okay,

get me to the theater.

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The TV.

See, the thing is, Apple TV Plus is like watching a movie in your own home.

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