"Chunks" (w/ Julio Torres)

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Look, man.

Oh, and look over there.

Wow, is that culture?

Yes.

Goodness.

Wow.

Las Culturistas.

Ding-dong.

Las Culturistas calling.

Bro.

Bro.

You, for a second, had a moment there where you forgot we were calling each other bro.

I did, but today over text, I think we were talking and sort of exasperatedly I said, bro.

Bro.

You spelled it bro.

I said bro.

But I've been saying bro.

I'm down to call each other bro.

But bro, bro.

So very Marisol and Alexia coded.

Which is us.

Which is us.

You know, it's funny.

Like, we're saying these words like Alexia Marisol.

Our guest has no idea what we're talking about.

You just had to explain to him who Tom Girardi was.

And it was.

I think he learned.

Well, he internalized.

Internalized.

And he externalizes brilliance.

Oh, my goodness.

I can't wait to internalize into Performance Space NYC the venue of his new show, Color Theory.

Color theory is a very external title.

Very external.

You think of colors when you say it.

In fact, I even wore sort of a color today.

You did.

For those of you who are just watching the podcast on our YouTube channel, I'm wearing blue.

This is so interesting.

And I think I'm going to save this until we bring him in, but I think

you are such a specific audience to go see this show about colors.

A colorblind individual as a colorblind king yeah but do you think i'll still like it i think some jokes you'll be like oh i don't i don't know what chartreuse is i guess that's not for me

that's niche humor can i say what chartreuse sounds like

sounds like some kind of red

char char is our fire oh interesting well yeah they came up with a color name after pokemon so that's that might be why um is it blue no

what is it it's like a greenish yellow, like a

greenish yellow.

Well, now I've heard everything.

Now, Color Theories is playing on a limited run, 22 performances only.

September 3rd.

I wonder if there's anything to the number 22.

I wonder if Julio is like Taylor Swift.

Taylor Swift and it's all numerology.

It's not just color theories.

It's also numerology.

What if we found out that there's been Easter eggs for years?

For decades.

Yeah, that Julio has been doing Easter eggs.

Well, I want to talk to him about numbers because I feel like he's done a lot of great material about letters and now about colors.

I don't know.

Shapes really shapes, of course.

I wonder if numbers are his next foray.

Well, he's right there.

Foray.

He's right there.

He's right there.

Let's ask him.

Well, let's ask him.

Okay, this is color theory, September 3rd through September 22nd.

Get your tickets.

Color dash theory.

Are those the dates?

I was like looking for cue cards.

You know those cue cards.

We don't need the cue cards.

Oh, no.

Who do you think we are?

Seth Meyers?

We don't need

a segment producer running.

You don't have an earpiece or anything?

You just like look in our picture.

Check the robes.

Have you looked in our ear holes today?

Wow.

And you just knew the date.

I don't know the dates.

Well, I know.

They're September 3rd.

Through September 22nd, 22 performances only, Performance Space, NYC.

I'm going on September 10th, which I heard is like one of the big nights.

That's the big 9-10.

9-10.

Yeah.

Well, why don't you go on 9-10 with me?

I'm going opening night.

9-3.

I want to wear, I want the opening night playbill.

Oh, for your collection.

For my collections.

Well, everyone.

You do love framing your playbill.

I do actually frame my playbills.

That would be fun.

That was a disparaging comment.

Who loves to disparage me, making fun of the fact that I was an erstwhile pitizer?

Now, everyone, welcome into yours.

He's our great friend.

He's fresh off a Peabody win for

Pasmus, Problemisto.

I actually presented our guest with his Gotham Award for best

lead performance in a comedy series with our alongside his partner

Jimmy Scully.

Now, everyone, welcome for the fifth time perhaps on Lost Culture, our friend, our family, Julio Torres.

Wow.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Do you think I'll enjoy the show despite being color impaired?

I enjoy you so much.

I do.

I think so.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I can, um,

I can go through the, you know what I'm going to do?

I am going to go through my outline and highlight the parts that I think you will enjoy and give you a percentage of how much of the show I think you'll enjoy.

I think that will be helpful.

And then you have to grade

each beat, each moment of the show on a scale of zero to 100.

And then like the moments that I don't think will resonate with you are just NA.

And will you allow me at that point to just sort of get up and walk around the space?

No, no, of course.

Yeah.

So at that point in the show,

you can like schedule a meeting, whatever you need, and then come back.

I'll just schedule my earphones.

Hey, yes.

No, yes, of course it's a good time.

Of course.

No, I'm just missing this part that

he doesn't think I would.

No, no, he told me.

He told me.

He told me.

They go, shh, I go, no, he told me.

Yeah.

This part's NA.

This part's NA.

This part's 15 or NA.

Yeah.

15%.

Wait, how many sections in the outline are there?

Let's get into it.

Let's get into it.

I want to know processes.

I love, I love, yeah, that's a really great way of promoting work.

How many sections?

How many sections?

How many sections can we expect?

Sections can we expect?

I think there's broadly, there's broadly, I'm going to say, six chunks.

Six chunks.

Six chunks.

Yes.

Chunk number two.

So I like doing tech and be like, can we go back to chunk number three?

I want to go to the, like, just at the top of chunk three.

There was a moment in the chunk that I wanted to work.

Were you ever properly theater boys?

I wouldn't say so.

Like in college, I mean, like, Matt did shows.

I did not.

I did.

So I was always a writing student, but they allowed me to do shows.

There was one like cool theater, cool, cool one at NYU called Experimental Theater Wing, where they like didn't give a fuck two middle fingers.

Like booster group star.

It was very like, bro, you know what I mean?

It was like,

they would have taken anyone that was talented to come do shows.

Otherwise, you couldn't.

Okay.

Because I am learning a lot of like theater

etiquette.

Etiquette lingo rules.

Like God Mike.

God Mike.

God Mike.

No, I knew god mike i knew god mike yeah you remember

yeah they have flashcards for me what do you mean oh that's so cute no no

i thought you ever said that to me

like spotlight

no i i no like like things like uh like opening night is not the first

is after preform because i was like there's a mistake in the calendar

because why is opening night after

after and what is who are we previewing this to?

Right.

That is the problem.

Because preview is a trailer because I come from film and television.

She doesn't know where I'm filming.

You have to unlearn a lot.

I have to unlearn.

Yes.

I have to unlearn a lot.

Or like

the concept of this being an off-Broadway show.

Right.

How does that make you feel?

Like,

I don't understand why

mentioning

a street that has nothing to do with the show.

Like, it's also not on Canal Street.

It's also off Canal Street.

It's also like off.

Yeah.

Can you say on First Avenue?

Yeah, it's not an off-Broadway show.

It's an on-first avenue.

That's really good.

Did they ever tell you what distinguishes an on-Broadway and off-Broadway show?

The reason will shock you.

It's like the number of seats.

99 is the most, is the max number of seats you can have in off-Broadway.

Okay, so question.

Yeah.

A wedding can be off-Broadway.

See, this is where it gets crazy.

And it can be on

99 seats.

It's a Broadway wedding.

Depends how many friends you have.

If you have a lot of friends, you're a big Broadway star.

Now, why are you thinking in terms of weddings, Julio?

What are you part of the question?

Well, this would be a great place to launch.

Getting into wedding planning.

You would be amazing at it.

Actually, I would be incredible.

Nothing would arrive on time.

Imagine if I actually was responsible for

the ice culture has to get here at this time so that we can put it in the freezer.

Right.

It's everything that you love, but nothing about the logistical execution stuff is ever going to be okay with you.

You're never going to wear a headset and tell people, okay, release the doves.

You're never going to do that.

Release the doves.

See, a lot of what you just said, though, I think he would love.

Like, I think you would love to.

Always release the doves.

Always.

Why you?

No.

Always release the.

Release the doves as soon as you know they're captured.

Well, did you ask them how they feel?

Well, because if they want to be released, then release them at once.

Release the doves as soon as you find out they're in a case.

Yeah, I'm just bringing that up as an example of

there are things operationally or whatever that you have to like hit as a wedding planner.

Releasing the doves.

I'm just saying, like

kicking out the intruder.

Yeah.

Yeah, there's always one.

We saw the movie Wedding Crashers.

Very scary.

Very scary.

What straight men can do.

I do think there's

a lot of them.

It is surprising to me.

And wait, okay.

IP, IP for the two of you.

Gay wedding planner?

Gay wedding crasher?

Wedding gays.

Because

there is a type of gay man who is always at a wedding.

Yeah.

No, I'm couldn't be me.

I'm not really.

But you know what I mean?

Where, like, you look at the pictures and it's like,

how many like girls from college do you know?

Oh, for sure.

They're like constantly at a wedding.

Yes.

And the captain's always like about last night.

Of course.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm taking umbrage with gay guys who are constantly

at their mother's seaside house in hyenas

whereas there's a kind of gay guy like just like on cape i'm just saying like a seaside town seaside gays must just must be nice seaside gays seaside gays and i'm like the chunkinet

by the way let's go back to six chunks because i think there's no

less compatible word for julio torrez in the language than chunks than chunks yeah

how does chunks make you feel

It made me feel like maybe I have to

have more appreciation for what I do.

Really?

Yeah.

Well, I refer to it as chunks.

So you're looking at this in a positive way.

And it's good because it is the title of Epp so far.

So that's

the challenge.

In case you can sort of,

you can conjure up something better right now.

It's the front runner for title Apple.

That is unfortunately a really good title.

But so maybe you're coming around on the word.

The picture of the three of us, like, inevitably that we take at the end of the episode, smiling, and it says chunks.

Chunks.

Kind of love.

Kind of cool.

Kind of cool.

Wait, what was I going to say about?

Oh, weddings.

Oh, seaside gays.

I'm just bringing this up as I'm just.

What's your problem?

There's no problem.

I'm just like, there's...

You took umbrage.

I take umbrage with

gay guys who are just like...

a different place every single every single day you did you just did a lot of you just had a busy itinerary i'm not i'm not calling you out i'm just saying speaking of gays, I take homage with.

Speaking of gays, I take homage with, I don't like

you.

You've been a lot of people.

You know what?

I was just in Fire Island for Doll Invasion.

Yes.

So that was really fun.

Yeah.

I did not get to meet Luscious Massacre.

Oh,

yeah, she was there.

That's Julio was obsessed with Lushus's.

I'm obsessed with

Luscious Massacre.

I think Lush's Massacre, if they are lucky, should be like a daily show correspondent.

Yes.

Or like

a how-to with John Wilson, but it's like Luchas Massacre.

Yeah, really good.

It's like

Kunk on Earth, but Luscious Massacre.

Kunk on Earth, but Luscious Massacre about different stores.

They're drag investigating different stores.

Yeah.

That would be amazing.

Drag Vestigating, I like.

Yeah.

Drag Vestigating.

Drag Vestigation.

Isn't that what she calls it?

I think so.

Yeah.

She drag vestigates.

I think

if, look, you're a big mover and shaker in the biz on Hollywood.

In Hollywood.

In Hollywood.

Not off.

No, I would say I am soundly off Hollywood.

You are off Hollywood, a 24.

Off Henry.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Off the beaten path.

Off the beaten path.

They made that movie Civil War.

They made that movie Civil War.

Yes, they made that movie Civil War.

Hereditary.

Oh, did they do Hereditary?

I think.

They did Hereditary.

Of course they did.

Shout out.

Shout out to

the hand that fed.

The hand?

Oh, we love that.

And we never bite.

Have you thought about that?

We nibble.

We nibble.

Yeah.

We nibble.

A little bit of gnaw.

It was Brilliant Minds that made the film that made Lil Diva Hair come off.

Off.

Rewind.

So, as you may recall from the Culture Awards, which you've attended many years, many times.

You've been at most of them.

I've been at

three, right?

There's been four.

You've been at three of them.

Four.

I've been at least three.

Yeah.

The first year you helped us introduce the macarena.

Yes.

Oh, yes.

Yes.

Was that the first girl?

It was the first year.

This was outside in

Lincoln Tennis.

That was really good.

And then I think you came back for King's Theater?

Yes, you came back at King's Theater.

I came back to her last theater.

And that was when you presented an award.

I know that's the year Tilda won.

Yeah, maybe.

Did you do Artists of the Millennium and it was to the middle?

I went to Tilda Smith.

To Tilda Swinton?

And I don't know if that was my category, but that is one thing we did playing at that.

We were like, okay, Tilda's going to win Artist of the Millennium, so Julio should present.

That's how you.

So you know ahead of time?

Yeah.

Well, peeling back the curtain.

There's no,

everyone is aware of the fact that we know the winners, but kind of way before.

And so do they.

Julio, don't, don't be true.

Don't do this.

Be true to this.

Be true to this.

For once.

And then this year, you, I think in a highlight of the show, you and Kate really tore it up with most thrilling threats.

Kate was so delicious.

Well, I think my favorite part of the show, it changes every day, but my current favorite part of the show is Kate, Kate accepting the award on behalf.

Yeah, the one fell out.

And I fell out.

She goes, I just want to say, seriously, guys, thank you so much for giving me the opportunity.

Seriously, the opportunity to perform

to perform.

Matt, Matt does it, I think, even better than Kate.

Oh, please.

No, you know, what did you think?

I actually do want to know, what did you think of the movie magic in that part?

Yes.

Because there was Thunderclaps.

There was, Did You See When You Smelled the Rose?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And there was sort of a minor chord.

Yes.

It's

it was how long did the edit take?

Uh,

it was like a week.

I guess, like, all told, it was like really tight.

So it was like a week.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How does that make you feel as a post-production king?

A post-production supervisor.

I think it was very impressive.

Do you like to be in the edit bay?

No.

No.

No.

No.

I'm not.

I'm

from home.

Yeah.

Is it about watching yourself or it's just about the process of like, okay, like, let's do it.

Oh, it's like, I know what happens.

I already know what happens.

Oh,

it's the novelty.

It's the novelty has worn off.

Wow.

You know, in theater, you won't have that.

You won't have to think about that.

No post-production in theater.

There's no post-production in theater.

You're going to love it.

But what about the thought of doing it every night?

What?

What about the thought of doing it every night?

This is why there's the only time I do performances.

Really?

Is that because that all you can handle?

And it's not numerology, right?

There's no secret to the number 22.

Oh!

Easter at Julio is really fun.

I can do, I can, yeah, yeah, Miss Swift and I.

We, we, uh, the life of a showgirl.

Yeah, life of a showgirl.

Sweater in my car.

I think I left a sweater in his car.

This is good.

Yeah, you like that?

Yeah, you're powerful when you really

can't.

She hasn't done blue sweater yet.

Should I left

in his car?

I mean, he wronged me.

You are on to something with a car.

The car is a common

word.

That genre of girls loves a car.

A car, Olivia.

Scarves.

Scarves is a lot of fun.

It's not sweater.

It's cars.

No, she has a she, she sings about sweaters.

Oh, okay, great.

She has a song called Cardigan.

There you go.

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What do you think of her color right now being orange?

How do you relate to orange, being the color theorist that you are?

I think I wouldn't have linked her to orange.

Right.

I don't think many people would have.

And I think that's almost why she's not.

I think she's.

I don't think that's why she's she, I would assume that's why she, because orange is a very

intrepid,

warm,

uh,

like,

like 90s kind of.

You probably do orange very well, huh?

Color.

I don't think so.

I think I'm attracted to orange, but I don't think I, I, I don't think I'm, I do orange.

he is attracted to orange i think i would call your hair and and and you're being you're thinking literally

you're thinking see you need to come to the show and learn oh my god this is color theory this is color theory literally okay before we get into the color theories and then we won't spoil the show obviously right i i want to i will pink wins oh pink wins and yellow dies wait sorry

that would be amazing before i forget before i forget, okay, I have been trying to get people to do this with me, and I think that you might be the perfect people is just go find a straight-up beauty pageant and just sit through it.

Oh, I would love that.

Like a regional beauty pageant.

One year we

got a house in the Hamptons.

Sorry.

But this was right after an SNL.

And like me, Celeste, and 80

and Fran,

we just kept and Heidi and we all watched Miss America from the 80s.

Yeah.

And it was so fun.

It was actually really fun to watch a vintage beauty pageant, televised beauty page.

Okay, you know what I'm also obsessed with is male beauty pageants.

I'm talking about like, not like, not like Arnold, like, like not

bodybuilding.

I'm talking like

the most gorgeous men from every nation in tuxedos.

Yep.

1,000%.

That's so funny.

Oh, that's probably.

And was it very like, I wonder who they should host one?

I would love that.

You would be amazing.

You should host one.

You should

host one.

You would be an amazing

juice.

Yeah, of course.

I think Matt would represent America very well.

Give me some time in the gym.

So there is this

really, really cringy video of like, okay, so my favorite part of a beauty pageant is their like national outfits.

Yeah.

You know what I'm talking about?

That represent their culture.

They represent their culture.

And there's this really that represent the culture, of course.

And there's this really cringy video of like the male beauty pageant.

And it's like, they go one by one.

It's like Vietnam.

And it's like, us, and it's like, you know, the countries that are going to flop so hard.

Right.

It's like, you know, that like Japan is going to be gorgeous.

That, like, right.

But then it's like, you know, it's like Australia.

It's like, okay, we have the khaki shorts, right?

Yeah.

And then they get to the U.S.

Uh-huh.

How, how gun was it?

Well, jeans.

Well,

if only they had gone cowboy.

Right.

I love it.

If only they had gone with cowboy.

No, it was truly a party city Captain America costume.

That's really hard.

Like plastic shield.

I'm speechless.

It's like saying what?

Our culture is like superhero.

Like superhero fake nationalism.

Great.

Yeah, that's really.

And this is recent?

I think so.

This is why

they got something right back in the day.

I'm not saying like the 80s were a better time.

I'm just saying.

Did you say that all the time?

Yeah, I do say that all the time, but not on the record.

He says it a lot off the record.

This is the first on the record that you've really said it.

Because they're your Reagan rants.

My Reagan rants are Reagan Raves.

Yeah.

I love Reagan Raves.

Reagan Raves.

I think that it's just fun.

It's more.

That's a good title.

Reagan Reigns with Williams.

Reagan Raves with Julio Torres.

I think there's something fun and time capsule-y about watching an old beauty patron.

A current one makes me think too much about the current state of things.

Like Vanessa Williams coded.

Yeah.

When was she Miss America?

She had to win in like 85, 86 because she famously was, they had to take her title away because she had posed topless and they gave it

a very puritanical

extremely.

Yeah.

They never would have done.

Yeah.

So

in fact, I can't really think of many people that have won Miss America except the two

black women who won it early, early, early on.

One was Vanessa Williams, and the other was Kenya Moore, who then became like one of the most famous real housewives of Atlanta.

So she was like a real mover in Shaco and Muvo and Shaco.

Is that Long Island?

I didn't even.

That actually is felt

cute.

Muvo and Shaco.

I actually kind of want that for Long Island.

That's just a lot of people.

Now it's just speech impediment.

Okay.

Oh.

Which I've never had until this moment.

Michelle was a Rio Muvo with Shako

in Buavo.

Yeah.

But no, I feel that they are the most famous Miss Americas, right?

Oh, Olivia Culpo.

Oh, yes, who

she was married to.

Nick Jonas.

Nick Jonas.

Or she dated Nick Jonas.

She's actually friends with Dave Mazzoni from high school.

Yes, because it's Rhode Island.

She was Miss Rhode Island, and then she went on to not only become Miss America, but she also won Miss Universe.

Beautiful girl.

You'd be shocked.

The universe.

Yeah.

She won all of the universe.

She won the universe.

I love Miss Universe.

That's what I know.

But that is like, I'm sorry.

Until we discover intelligent life elsewhere and they get to compete, you can't call it Miss Universe.

Well, yeah.

When will that be?

You can't, you can't.

Steam moment now.

Oh.

Did you see there was a breaking news report that someone found out?

They have beauty pageants in other planets.

Miss Saturn is actually on her way here.

She just missed the doll invasion.

Oh, wow.

Miss Saturn was coming for it.

Her ship was late.

Oh, God.

But no,

they said breaking news.

There was a

galley

news.

What's the breaking news?

Breaking news.

No, I wish I had.

had pulled it up, but I didn't know we were here in the conversation.

I should have known, though.

They were just like, it's like a clip that they keep showing of like what is clearly like a small bird running past like a security like

and it was just this woman being like i don't know what it is i don't know what it could be i just know that i can't stop thinking about it it's like it's a bird they're like alien life spotted i'm like it's a bird with like it's you know it has that plumage in the back yeah when they get excited or it's a little roadrunner

sort of like that i felt that way so cute so suffice it to say unless you have any knowledge that you know we don't know that there's intelligent life and i lied miss saturn isn't on her way we don't know that she exists we don't know that she exists you know what i think we should do i think other cities in the West do this thing.

Certainly Vancouver does it because I did this.

I attended a like, a kind of a competitive sort of like drag competition where different

establishments and businesses along the gay street in Vancouver submit a person to do like a drag number.

I think it should be a beauty pageant of like New York bars.

of a queer New York bar, like animals.

Where like like they're representing the different New York bars.

Yes, and there should be like a beauty pageant in that regard the eagle yes yes like don't you think that could be really fun yeah the eagle animal xley whatever phoenix like they think all they all phoenix

miss xley

phoenix industry

there's they're all they all qualify

they all qualify yes it doesn't matter we need to see all of them they all must compete I love that.

They all must and they don't have a choice.

They all must compete.

They don't have a choice.

It's you join us or

That's a Zoran event.

Oh, my God.

That's a Zoran event for sure.

Wait, we have to do this.

We have to.

I'm telling you.

No way he would smile so politely at that idea.

I think he'd be into it.

You know, someone tagged me in a photo of Zoran with his arm around someone in a little bro jersey.

My merch.

And I was like, you know, any.

The little bros get it.

The little bros get it.

And I think the big bros get it.

And the big bros get it too.

Anyone with a little bro bro or big bro jersey, that's a Zoron voter.

And that's actually roll culture number 20.

Anyone with a little bro or big bro jersey, that's a Zoron voter.

The little bro,

that's your base.

That's your.

I speak to little bros and big bros equally, I would say.

I think that anyone can sort of choose what their vibe is.

But little bro is sort of something when you want to be treated in a way that would suggest maybe you want a big bro.

You want to be diminutive in the face of big bro.

Oh, you're kind of big bro.

You're big bro.

Who is very big, bro?

Aren't you?

Yeah.

Aren't you?

Peach gets up and leaves.

He's like, I've always hated doing this.

You keep fucking begging me.

Stop

begging me.

You're fucking little show.

And it's like, and now they have this office.

Oh, my God.

They keep begging.

And I do it because I feel sorry.

I feel sorry.

I missed the headphones.

I missed the days when they had a lot of fun.

Wait, I do feel odd naked headphones but no what I was gonna say beauty pageant adjacent yeah is I realizing that I am short of making this true because I am doing the Halloween party again oh yes

and I want to lean in to the costume contest yes you should okay this is our new Heidi Klum yes yes

Heidi

we have a new one now

here's a name for the party okay Okay.

So last year it was the cursed amulet.

Yes.

Yes, of course.

Everyone remembers it.

It was the

in everyone's mouths.

Cursed amulet.

Cursed amulet.

That's cursed.

Okay.

I met them at cursed.

Are you announcing this or were you brainstorming?

Or do you already know?

I am announcing slash workshopping.

Okay.

Very Taylor Swift.

Very Taylor Swift.

Announcing.

Yeah.

Yeah, I love announcing.

The name,

Mommy's Moods.

Mommy's Moods.

Really good.

I love that.

You can get so many.

I think we're going to have swings.

What kind of song?

Mood swings.

Oh, mood swings.

I love that.

You understand?

I do.

Mommy's moods.

But, okay, so in just like that font, mommy's moods.

Yeah.

The next chapter in the cursed amulet story.

Dot, dot, dot.

I really like that.

There's so many ways to go.

How is the amulet connected to mommy?

Oh, I think that the amulet is

responsible for mommy's moods.

I was was going to say, mommy wears the amulet and gets in a mood.

It takes over.

Or it's just one person wearing the amulet, and there's this real as a result of being in the atmosphere of that person.

Everyone gets in a certain mood.

Everyone enters mommy's moods.

I think that's it.

I think it's like mommy's moods is like a realm.

Yes.

Okay.

I like anytime there's inside out for someone that should be medicated.

Yep, yep, yep, yep.

They'll never explore that.

I think that they will.

They will never explain.

They're cowards.

They're cowards.

They will never explore mommy's moods.

They will never explain.

And the inside out cinematic universe.

They actually, well, I actually think that is a Disney Pixar that you would like.

Mommy's Moods?

No, Inside Out 2.

Inside Out 2.

They went further than I thought they would.

They went for it.

They really got into anxiety in a way where I was like, huh.

And my therapist actually was like, you should see this.

And I was like, I already did.

And I loved it.

So Inside Out 3.

Mommy's 3

is okay.

So there's this mood swings.

There should be like a, I don't know what this is yet, but like a not right now moment, you know, it's like that's like that the meme of like not right now, mommy's blank.

Mommy, not right now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean?

Mommy's feeling, mommy's feeling distant, mommy's feeling complacent, mommy's feeling insecure today.

Or like you have to come do this right now.

Yeah.

Yes.

Mommy's feeling

impatient.

Mommy's feeling overwhelmed.

Okay, here is the, okay.

Actually, this will be very productive.

I have two options.

Wednesday the 29th.

Okay.

Thursday the 30th.

Oh, God.

Let's see.

We might have to be out of town.

Okay, wait.

But you're very sad, but

what do you think about

the morning general?

We're out of town.

I like a Wednesday Halloween party.

Thursday has a little bit too much.

Thursday has a little too much steaks on it.

You're making faces.

I feel like Thursday the 30th is fine, fine.

I just, I think if anyone can like really

program

something

on Halloween week in a way that's interesting, like

people need the 10 polls and you could be the Wednesday 10 poll.

But I also, but Thursday is a guaranteed success.

Thursday, here's what you get if you do it on Thursday the 30th.

When the clock strikes midnight, it's hollow.

It's Halloween.

And mommy's mood.

And mommy's mood.

Mommy's mood turns.

Mommy's mood generally.

At midnight.

Mommy's mood turns at midnight.

And then all of a sudden it gets like happy.

We turn all the lights on, yeah, we start all sitting down.

That's one way, that's when we, oh, the pizza comes.

That's so nice.

Yeah, at midnight, mommy's mood will turn, but you don't know what it is.

And then we keep announcing, and in five minutes, mommy's mood will turn.

I love it.

And then

we announce mommy is now

happy.

Happy.

No one will know.

Mommy just got angry.

And you get, so I think what should happen is at 11.58, you should take the stage and you've written a two-minute story.

And when the clock strikes midnight, that's when you reveal how mommy feels about what happened.

And the whole thing changes.

And it's sort of like, yeah, off to kind of like, it does.

And

everyone should have a reveal.

Yes.

Bring a reveal.

I'm not saying bring a costume.

I'm saying bring a costume under the other costume.

Yeah.

Hello.

Listen.

Listen.

Listen to your head.

I don't want to explain this again.

I don't want to explain this again.

And the reveal can't be that you're wearing a cloak over the costume.

No, no, no.

And that should be in the bottom two for sure.

Yeah.

And there is a lip sync at 4 a.m.

Someone will be asked to win.

There is a mandatory lip sync at 4 in the morning.

With the two.

And yes, we're paying for everyone's Uber back home.

Okay.

Okay.

Jake, get over it.

700 Ubers back home.

well i'm excited about all this i'm very excited okay but okay do it the 30th and um okay do it the 30th okay even though okay

we can bleep out the venues but

the venue the 29th is better than the one oh okay and what and can you can we'll bleep out the venues what are the venues

and you prefer

because

you can move about with more ease and it's like it's so important to be able to move and i'm thinking on halloween you're wearing big, big things, and the thought of like going to like a dance floor and not being able to

escape it, use bathrooms.

There's the bathroom situation.

It's pretty bad.

I don't think I've been.

But it's really, that's

her

thing.

But everyone was in what?

Tank tops.

Tank tops.

Right, of course.

And it was not Halloween.

Yeah.

I mean, last year, who won the costume contest?

The cockpit?

The roach?

Oh, that was.

With honorable mention to Canti Nosferatu.

Well, yeah.

I mean, who was the roach?

We don't know.

Oh, yeah.

It was kind of chic how, like, no one.

There are figures who just disappear.

Like, Demon Twink, I mean, kind of maybe just got like cyberbullied off the face of the earth.

Wait, was Demon Twink an actual person?

Yes.

Yeah, oh, yeah.

We were there on the boat when that happened.

Demon Twink was going off on the boat.

Can you give the story?

Because not everyone might know.

So Demon Twink, the words Demon Twink came to be

has an origin on a Thai Sunderland boat, boat, the Brittany boat, where there was a twink at the very top of the boat on the top rail.

What do you mean at the top of the boat?

So there's different levels of on the flag?

Not on the flag.

No, no, he was not like mounting.

He was not mounting anything.

He was like, he was very like Kate Winslet and Titanic, just like on, like kind of like, just like

perched over, like

looking out at everybody.

And we could all see him.

And he was.

It was his boat.

He was going off.

He was going off, basically.

He was the star of the boat.

He was the star of the dancing, dancing.

But what made him demonic?

Well, he was actually.

Not Christian.

Not Christian.

He was so fucked up that he at one point made it to the DJ booth where Ty was and like threw his drink on the on the board on like the equipment and was just like acting out and then Ty said why was he upset?

We don't know.

He was fucked up.

And then so then Ty tweets something along the lines of like, oh my god, not this demon twink.

So he coined demon twinkling.

He coined demon twink.

Wow.

So, and that is sort of like, it's sort of entered the lexicon in a very seamless way.

What was the outfit?

It's like a black, black tank.

And then I think some sort of suggestive

bottom.

Which she might have been.

The suggestive bottom.

I think the suggestion was very clear.

The suggestion was very clear.

Yeah.

Who wants to take this home?

Well, that person, there's other people.

I was talking about this with friends lately.

Like that person, Cockroach, at Cursed Amulet.

Like, there are people the the person who was in the mask during wendy williams' halloween episode of what was the concept yeah um like oh you're thinking like anonymous new york well anonymous people who icons icons but they they don't want to make themselves known as those people these are the these are they're right for like like batman villains yes right the fag who cried shark

the fag who cried the fat who cried shark mate made himself known the fact the fag who cried shark didn't have to do that though there was a fag who cried shark when we were on fire island it's a long he didn't love that we talked about him

and you can go back to the episode the fag who cried shark and hear all about it and he he's a wonderful wonderful resident of the town great member of the community great member of the community and we were we did not we did not do right by him no i don't i don't think it was that big of a deal Because it's not like, it's not like the fag who cried shark was known worldwide.

We talked about it on this podcast because 15 people saw something happen on the beach.

Was there a shark?

There was a shark.

Well, first there was a leged light shark and he was like shark, shark, shark.

Yeah.

And it was was sort of like he was nude and swanging.

And so it was like, okay, it was just a funny image.

It was funny.

Like this naked guy, dick, massive cock, swinging around, yelling at every, screaming at everybody.

Shark, shark.

Yeah.

And there was no shark to be seen.

And then later, it was confirmed.

It was confirmed.

So who's laughing now?

No, so it goes off the boy who cried wolf.

He should be completely validated.

No, I get it.

Yeah.

Oh.

Oh, I get it.

It's like, you have to believe the fact who cried shark.

Yes.

You have to.

You have to.

So is he a known liar?

Is that why people didn't believe him?

He was a known like truth teller, honestly.

He's a seer.

You would call him a seer.

I would call him a seer.

A seer.

One who sees.

One who sees.

You know.

A seer.

One who sees.

One who sees.

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Now, mommy's mood sounds wonderful.

I still, I honestly think,

gosh, there's just not enough time to plan this, but there there should be a bar, a queer bar pageant.

I think that there might be a lot of people.

What do you mean there's not enough time to plan it?

Until November, like, like, just like for, if it is a Zoron event.

Oh, because it's

because, right, it's a Zoron thing.

I really can do a campaign on that.

I knew we could do it.

Also, by the way, the way this is going to bring community back to New York.

Hello.

He did a scavenger hunt the other day.

I know who did.

He did?

Zoron.

A scavenger hunt.

He, like, it was riddles.

He was leaving riddles on social media.

I mean, packs, hordes of people would show up.

Okay, so

this is what I don't want to see him do.

Okay.

I do not want to see him do

the thing.

No, that's fine.

The thing with the headphones where they're dancing on the street.

Silent rave.

No, he's not going to do this.

Please don't.

I think he might.

Please don't do that.

Please don't do that.

There's something about a scavenger hunt that's fun and not.

bound to time the way that a silent rave is always going to be like millennial like 2006 union square you know scavenger hunt is is um timeless i i think so yeah scavenger hunt got me in trouble in high school because you know it was on the list.

Go buy condoms.

Oh, brother.

That was like the most taboo thing in high school, right?

Like, it's like go buy condoms and bring it back.

So then you go into the Dwayne Reed, you're like, I'm buying condoms.

And then you're like,

no, it was just more like

a teen going into a Dwayne Reed, going over to the condoms, picking one out, giving it to the person.

It's like, I still feel like this when I'm buying like

a

douche.

You know what I mean?

Or what do you call it?

um a douchebag an enema an enema you know what i mean i'm like well here i am like

looking as gay as i do buying douches but i feel self-conscious buying them sometimes in a way like when i remember being a teen and doing a scavenge hunt with my friends it was always like go buy magnum xls right right and then i one time did can't remember if we won or lost ultimately unimportant my mother found them oh

and I don't know what she thought about me buying Magnums, but certainly she didn't.

Her mind didn't go to, oh, there must have been a scavenger hunt.

Her mind went to, my son must be having a hunting hunt.

There must have been a scavenger.

I know my Matt.

That showed is not your mom at all.

No.

It kind of

is.

No, it wasn't.

Do it back.

Do your impression of Matt's mom.

I bet you wouldn't be that.

Have you met her?

I have met her.

She doesn't seem like

a withering flower at all.

No,

do the impression you think my mom is, and then I'll do a perfect impression of my mom.

Well, okay,

my mind went to this person who is not your mom, which is like there must have been a scavenger hunt.

He would never, he would never, okay, so that's not, that's not her, but it's not super far off because it's more like you're gonna do it, you do it.

Oh, I got

hold on, hold on.

Oh, I guess there was a scavenger hunt.

Okay.

So

listen, this is it.

That was closer.

This is it.

Wow, there must have been a scavenger hunt or something.

Well, you know, they have fun, the kids.

They do a scavenger hunt.

Sometimes it gets a little silly.

It's not for me, but you know.

I guess my son has a big dick.

I guess he's got a big old cock.

Well, you know, it's all right.

That's my mom.

Is that generally her attitude?

Yeah.

So are things generally all right?

Cheerful.

Oh, yeah.

I would say things are generally all right.

And what she does when she thinks something is not all right is famously, she goes,

So, did you get a

Ariana Grande's favorite vocal tech, because I told her about on the set of Wicca, told her about this thing that Matt's mom.

The Marge Simpson.

Yeah, the Marge Simpson.

What?

What about Marge?

Okay.

Sometimes when I can't fall asleep.

What do you do?

Sometimes when I can't fall asleep, I close my eyes

and I rank what I believe are the most famous dresses in history.

Is Marge's dress always up there?

I realize that Marge's dress, green column, green column,

green column, is number three.

What?

Okay.

Can I give you a bunch of people?

We talked about this on the show.

We said, what's the most famous dress?

Do you have?

Yes, we said it was Cinderella's dress.

Cinderella is number one.

Sorry.

No.

No.

Okay.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You probably just had just seen like merch or something.

No.

Merch.

No.

Cinderella merch.

Cinderella merch.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Okay.

Undeniable at number one, Marilyn Monroe's white dress.

Yeah.

Yes.

The JFK dress.

Above the JFK dress.

Above the vent.

Oh, the sunlight and the ball.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Or was that Jennifer?

Jennifer for Blondes.

One of those.

Jennifer for Blondes is the pink.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The one that

Madonna.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes.

No.

The white dress, I think, is number one.

Number two, and number two,

the dress.

The black and blue.

Yeah.

If you Google image the dress, that's what comes out.

That's what comes out.

Well, no, that was, I remember, I was with Matt that night

do you remember where you were that no it was like at night it happened at night it happened at night the dress came at night and we saw the dress came at night

we were we were right here we were across

no we were across from Carnegie Hall we're in midtown and we were at a deli across from Carnegie Hall when Cap started honking yeah

the dress

you need to remember you remember where you were this was a huge moment you need to remember you need to remember you need to remember because we saw the same thing black and and blue no we no we were we didn't see the same we did not see you saw white and gold no i saw black and blue okay so i saw black i've always thought it was black and blue it was black and blue i think we were on the same page no people said it was white and gold no no no okay so we we you and i were on the same page

and we were like what are they all talking about and then everyone started being like it's white and gold and we were like huh like it's sort of it's that's when it became twilight zone was it do you think reality like split like forked at that moment just in terms of like, is that when reality forked?

Is that when reality forked?

Well, for these reasons, this is number two.

And number three is Marge Simpson.

And I think number three is Marge Simpson.

I do have to say

green dress.

Rule of culture number 15 is the dress is when reality forked.

Yes, for sure.

I just had to make sure that was known.

Of course.

Bjork Swan dress.

Yeah.

Oh.

Jay Lo Versace dress.

I would say that's higher than Marge's dress.

You think which one?

Jay Loversace.

It started at Google Images.

You have to give it away.

I did.

Yeah.

Yeah, okay.

I want to put a dress out there.

Okay.

Rose DeWitt Buchater's dress in Titanic.

The one that she's wearing during the whole climate.

No, no, of course.

No.

You think, no, it's top 10.

It's top 10.

That is definitely like top four hats.

I'm not talking about the hat.

I'm not talking.

We've nominated it at the culture.

We weren't even talking about this.

And so to start a conversation about hats, so to start with that.

That's wrong.

That's wrong.

We weren't talking about that.

I'm sorry to be so strong.

So

you're thinking about the sort of midnight blue with the...

No, it was like the deep red with the beating, the black beating.

Is that the one where she's where she where he drowns and he's

yes, she was ultimately wearing that?

Oh, yeah, that's the same dress.

Yeah.

She's wearing it the entire time.

I don't think this is

fine.

I think you're thinking about the character.

I think about you're thinking about the general costuming.

You're not thinking about the characters.

We might just be like ultra Titanic gays.

Yeah.

So it might be far away.

Can you draw that dress?

I think I could.

Really?

Oh, that's a criteria, and you have to draw the dress.

Yeah.

Prove that it's so famous, that it's so engraved in your mind.

Draw, draw it, draw it.

Well, draw it.

Marsh Simpson, anyone can do it.

It's so memorable.

It's drawing.

It's an accessible silhouette.

It's an accessible silhouette.

Now I'm trying to think, are we missing anything here?

Oh, so many.

I do think the Belle, Beauty, and the Beast.

Oh, the yellow.

Like, heinous Kinsianiera

in yellow.

Heinous Kinseniera in yellow.

Lady Diana's revenge dress.

Oh, absolutely.

Who could forget?

Oh, my God.

Lady Diana.

I love Lady Diana.

Lady Diana.

Lady Diana.

She was.

Elaine.

She was.

Yeah.

And then I guess there's like.

I think honorable mentions to like Rihanna, Yellow, Metro Chinese Art Met Gala.

I do think that you have to give Marilyn probably a second one, which was the JFK happy birthday dress, because then it did appear decades later on Kim Kardashian at the Met Gala.

So clearly

there was run it back value on the show.

The dress that returned.

The dress that returned and was famously tailored.

Came back.

That's a good horror film.

The dress that came back.

I haven't worn my wedding dress in decades, but now my daughter is getting married let's go to the attic they get there the dress is alive and doesn't want to be worn by the daughter i think wait that's beautiful

that's beautiful intergenerational expectations and that's a yeah it's ultimately a film about legacy of the they be a film but matt rogers yeah i think that might be really good that i would write and i think you would direct it bowen is of course the star he plays the dress i'm i want to be the dress okay and are we talking like face super and post and the in the chest of the dress or just voice?

It's motion capture.

It's motion capture.

Okay.

You don't find

voice until you know they're going to push Randy Serkis.

He has enough, I feel.

But can he play a dress?

I have to go.

Yeah.

No, I have to go.

Hold on.

I have to leave.

I have to go.

Because he wants to go start writing the script.

I want to read it.

He thinks it's so good.

Julio and I had a movie idea that honestly I think Matt would be the star of.

What was it?

What was it?

It was, hold on.

I'm going to look it up.

I'm going to look it up.

I'm looking over their shoulder at the notes.

Dumb gay fags.

It's like,

it's about a guy.

It's about a guy.

It's about...

I love this idea already.

I can see it.

Okay.

We should write a movie about him called Blay.

Okay.

Oh, oh, yeah.

He is going to the first summit.

He is at the Out in Equal summit at Disney.

And his flights keep in cancel.

He just wants to get to the summit.

Yeah.

Is it called the summit?

It can be called

that could be it.

The credentials.

The credentials.

The lanyards.

The lane.

The credentials.

I think Matt.

Shonda Rhymes.

Yeah.

The credentials.

The credentials.

I think Matt needs to.

I think we're going to write a Matt Rogers vehicle.

That would be good.

That would be wonderful, guys.

Thank you.

That would be really great.

That would be wonderful.

Just to have you guys just get together and create.

You know what I mean?

I feel like I'm

big actress that you're meeting at a production company.

And he's like, I'm so excited because I just love your mind.

You know what I mean?

I just am so excited about your creativity.

And like, I just feel like what you come up with is so, I just never know where it's going.

And that's what I love: to be surprised.

Like, I'm looking for creative voices.

Yeah.

This is what Emma Stone said to you when you guys first met.

Oh, yeah.

The creative voice is spiel.

She said that.

She said, I'm looking for creative voices.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Fresh talent.

Fresh talent.

I want fresh, creative voices.

I miss talent.

I miss when we took generals.

You know, now we don't get generals anymore.

Like, you mean like, you mean, like, commuting to like

CBS and hearing about mandates.

Yeah.

Hearing about mandates.

Well, our mandate is as long as it's fresh and creative.

And new talent.

Fresh news.

It's new talent.

We're looking for fresh, new voices.

I was so good at generals.

I bet you were.

I bet you were, yeah.

I would.

I bet you were.

It is hard to hear, even though it's a compliment.

Telling you about it.

It's a huge compliment.

It's a huge compliment.

Compliment.

Yeah.

So the industry works.

I was at them.

And I was always at them for too long.

No, that's how you know it was going well.

Oh, yeah.

Did anything come out of them?

I think maybe years later in a way that I wouldn't remember because

I did the thing of like, I hit LA so hard when I first got there and took every general so I surely generals didn't remember my generals name like I was just like I left people remember names no of course not no I can come up

so generals for for people who

might not be in the know is a general meeting you would just take at every single

it is crazy because no other industry does this where it's like a ghosty kind of it's kind of like a it kind of is like a ghosty

yeah you just like stop in and you're like this is my deal like it's a get to know you yeah and then like as you said like the point is so that eight years later they can be like you know who'd be good for this is matt right you know and it does yield fruit it does it does bear i think it yielded some fruit great i love that

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So there's my at-home voice and my podcast voice, which I'm using right now.

My podcast voice, as you can hear, is like a leveled up version of me, kind of like the new Dijorna Wood-Fired style crust pizza.

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And now that DiGiorno has new wood-fired style crust pizzas, I might start doing the show from home more often.

DiGiorno is dropping a new crust in four topping varieties.

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Oh my god, these sounds so good.

I may need to excuse myself now and go make one right at this moment.

You've never had pizza like this at home.

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I think we should plan the pageant.

That's all I'm saying.

I think that we'll see.

I think we should plan the pageant.

Yeah.

I think probably Miss.

You know, Miss Animal is coming in hot.

Miss Animal is going to be.

Ms.

Animal is going to be too much.

Ms.

Animal is going to do too much drugs beforehand and barely make it down the runway.

And you know what I'm talking about.

It's okay to say.

It's okay.

It's okay to say.

Miss Animal is going to show off the ketamine shelf in the bathroom.

Yeah.

And

yeah, I mean,

it really does show.

Miss Macrie.

Miss Macri Park.

I mean, I'm rooting for her.

She's so rooting for Miss Macri Park.

So wholesome.

Miss Macri Park actually really works.

Sounds really nice.

By the way, you know, last week we were talking about a potential drag name that I came up with, and then all the readers descended into the comments and they were like, you were right there.

I thought Polarising.

Miss Paula Rising.

Paula Rising.

Paula Rising.

Polarising.

Paula Rising.

It kind of feels like tripping a little bit.

Paula Rising.

Like, Paula Rising.

It feels like tripping.

Polarising.

Paula.

Phonetically, I don't know that I'm

polarizing.

She's polarizing.

It feels like a false start or something.

My sister left.

I left.

Your sister.

I think it's laughed or left.

Laughed.

Laughed.

Cut around that.

No.

It's okay to not know the word all the time.

I have some things to throw.

Miss the cock.

What's that?

Miss the cock.

Miss the cock, Mr.

Eagle.

Miss.

Miss therapy.

Therapy.

Oh, no, the RA.

Oh, shit.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Miss Industry.

Miss.

Do they still have Miss Boxers?

Yeah, I think they do Miss Boxers for sure.

Miss Boxers.

Miss Barracuda would have been so amazing.

Oh.

Do.

Is Miss Club coming?

No, because that's not a proper.

I think Miss Club coming.

I think Miss Club Coming works.

I think Miss Club comes works for sure.

That's certainly a queer bar.

You know, I went there one time and it was less speedy knitting.

night.

I actually went with a guy who was a friend, but I guess there was some messing around.

And we went to lesbian knitting night.

That's cute.

It actually was cute.

That's really nice.

It was lesbian craft night.

Oh,

beautiful.

Beautiful.

Yeah.

I think there should be

a Miss Club coming.

I think there should be like a Miss

Elsewhere.

No, but that's just a venue.

No, that's a venue.

Okay, fine.

That's a venue.

Hard and fast.

No.

It's a no.

It takes place elsewhere.

How about that?

No, Javit Center.

No, Javit Center, baby.

The first time ever, you're like, let's go, book.

If we don't get the Javit Center, I swear to God.

I'm not going.

Okay, if anyone out there knows, has a contact at Javits.

I think we can figure that out.

Yeah, go to javitcenter.org.

Book slash booking.

Submit event.

Submit event.

Yeah.

Fitch your your event in less than 50 words.

Okay, so it's a zone fundraiser.

They're like, no.

No.

And I'm not sure.

Ms.

Javits is deeply in the Eric Adams pocket.

Ms.

Javits.

We don't know.

So true.

I think she might be

establishment.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Anyway.

I think Javits Center is kind of

giving big convention vibes.

Oh, sure.

Yeah.

Comic-Con, car shows.

Although, if this is not true, then reach out and tell us we're wrong.

Yeah, prove it.

Prove it.

Yeah, prove it.

And host this.

Yeah, host this.

Host this.

This is a way to get it going.

Threats.

Threats.

Yeah.

Remember when Skittles was in your comments a bunch?

Yeah.

Maybe the Javit Sanders can be the new Skittles.

Yes.

Skittles was in our comments a bunch.

Oh, because one time during COVID, like, we did Instagram live from the bath.

Yeah.

And then Skittles was like kind of pervy with us.

It's.

Have you ever really thought about it?

Skittles was kind of pervy with us.

They were.

Sometimes I am a little blown away by, like, I will be talking to like whatever there's this pizza chain in LA but you know all these accounts are ran by gay guys that's what I'm saying is it's like I was like where is this conversation going

in LA it's a pizza chain in LA and I don't want to say which because it did get really flirty in the DMs and it was just with the pizza

yeah a pizza mascot with the pizza what's the pizza mascot is it like a chef

this was by the way this was years ago it was lucifer's pizza so it was like a little devil And you, you liked the devil.

And I was just going back and forth in the DMs with whoever was running the social.

This was years ago.

You think they took turns flirting with you?

I think that whoever I was running.

Do you think it was a corporate mandate to keep flirting with you?

I think it was one like go, go-ahead message from me from getting horny.

And I have witnesses.

Our friend Gus Hickey was with me, and I was like, is this getting horny?

And he was like, absolutely can confirm.

Wow.

Whenever I go there and I'm going to be able to do that,

did they retain the

company voice in their messages?

That's what I'm saying.

The single talk of pizza dropped away and suddenly it was like giving winky face.

And I was like, listen.

Spike Jones could never.

I love that.

Winky face.

Spike Jones could never.

That's more interesting than her, I think.

I love

falling in love with.

Can I say what movie I love?

Her.

I do love her.

That's an amazing movie.

That's truly one of my favorite Scarlett performances.

Oh, agreed.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

Agreed.

And Joaquin.

And Joaquin.

You can drop out of my movie anytime, Kate.

Sell it for gay stuff.

Is that what it was?

No.

I don't know.

Okay.

Well, have you heard about our Mara Wars?

Mara Wars?

So, Bowen is in the Rooney Mara

fan club, and I'm in the Kate Mara fan club.

Oh, yes.

But we love both.

We love both.

I'm just saying.

Are they related?

Yes, they're sisters.

Really?

You didn't know?

I didn't know.

Oh, my God.

They have such different

Very different vibes.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yes.

Which one do you prefer?

Rooney.

Yeah, I think that tracks.

Yeah.

You're a Rooney guy.

I'm a Kate Mara Girly because I don't think people give her the credit because I haven't seen An Education.

I've seen Angela.

An Education with Clara Stars Guard.

No, An Education is her show, FX on Hulu.

Oh.

And it was on An Education where it was her and Love Simon and she plays a teacher that gets into a relationship with her.

Was her student in Love Simon?

Yes.

The kid who played Love Simon.

But it's not called an education.

That's the paramount movie.

Her in love Simon.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, is it?

What is it, Rachel?

A teacher!

A teacher!

A teacher!

A teacher!

An education!

An education is Peter Sarsgard as a period piece that is like focused for almost like a big breakout role.

Yeah.

You know what's a great sentence?

I'm sorry.

What's a great sentence?

I had a friend say this to me recently.

What?

I'm dating a teacher.

I'm dating a teacher.

I'm dating a teacher.

It's such a lovely sentence.

Said with excitement?

Yes, of course.

Oh.

But it's also just lovely.

It's lovely to date a teacher.

Great hours.

There's a soundtrack.

This is in the Bye-Bye Birdie soundtrack.

An English teacher.

Yes, yes.

An English teacher's wife.

An English teacher's wife.

That musical is weird to me.

It's so weird.

It's weird.

The musical is about an English teacher's wife.

No, the musical is about this.

Tell us about this story.

I don't.

Bye-bye, Birdie.

It's about a guy named Birdie.

Conrad Birdie.

Conrad Birdie.

And then there's like a dad who wants to go to the Ed Sullivan show.

It's like a weird fight.

I never really got that.

We did it in high school, and I sat really upset in the theater because I wasn't in it because I was too closeted.

And I slip high school was deprived of my Conrad Birdie because this is Conrad Birdie.

Conrad Birdie is like an Elvis Presley type.

Yeah.

Who they all are going crazy over.

And then he has to join the war.

He has to join the army.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so it's the whole thing of like it's like then they start like a campaign it's like save conrad is this what it is yeah basically but see does anyone know this is the bye bye birdie plot explanation challenge if you can succinctly explain the plot of bye-bye birdie yeah ten dollars because there is a whole thing where there is a whole thing

then there's this woman that's like she's like like she's she's you know stomping her foot at her husband because he's an english teacher but that's what she wanted sorry sorry

all the rosie is her name

The Elvis Bresley type is also an English teacher.

No, no, two different male leads.

She's coming into

Cambodia.

He's come, but then there's this couple named Hugo and Kim, and then the opening number is actually really cute.

It's called the Technical.

And Margaret did it.

And Margaret did it.

Bye-bye.

Did you watch Mad Man?

Yes.

They played that clip.

Okay.

Anyway, so the gay character in Mad Man, Salvatore Romano, who was like the visuals guy, was like very inspired by the opening of Bye-bye Birdie and was like, it's like going to be like Anne Margaret.

And they were all watching.

Like, look at the way he talks about this.

It's kind of gay.

Contextually, that would be his Sunset Boulevard with Nicole.

Yeah.

Like, in the because that's his

thing.

Yeah.

And then his whole problem in the episode was they get a girl to come in and like do the ad, which is like kind of like ripping on Anne Margaret.

And he's like, oh, she's not Anne Margaret.

And it's like, he's getting a little gay about it because it's like she doesn't have like the star quality.

Everyone's like, What are you talking about?

It's great.

He's like, No, I think this is what it is.

Again, I could be wrong.

It's so hard to explain story to people.

What's the simplest story to explain?

Titanic.

Titanic.

Rich girl, poor guy, they fall in love.

It's drama.

And then, guess what?

They hit an iceberg and

boom.

Boom.

Cinderella, you can explain very well.

And this, this, I would submit to the dress ring.

Cinderella?

Not the, not, not Not the pink dress that her mother did.

The pink dress.

Because that was devastating when they tore it apart.

Like there was so much emotional tragedy.

As an audience, you cared so much.

You were so happy for her about that dress.

That was really good.

That's off-Broadway.

That's off-Broadway.

That's off-broadway.

The way you performed fear.

That's really good.

I presented you the award.

For acting.

For acting.

You took the gall to give me an award for action.

Can I tell you you something?

We were actually so excited because it was me and James doing it.

And I said to James, I was like, should we look?

And so we looked a little early.

And James saw your name.

And he goes,

I was like, okay,

you can say it.

You can say it.

He had to have said it.

And he said it.

That's really beautiful that they were there for that.

Wow.

Show business.

My God, you can't even be sentimental for one.

You couldn't even do that.

You couldn't even.

You said, wow, show business.

Show business.

The disdain.

Your friends get to present you the big award at the Gotham Awards.

At the Gotham Awards.

At the Gotham Awards.

At the Gotham Awards.

At the Gotham Awards.

Very fun.

Very fun awards.

Wait, this is a room full of Gotham winners.

Oh, yeah.

Everyone here's got a Gotham award.

Everyone gets a Gotham.

Yeah.

Okay, this is a thing.

So they were like trying to figure out a way to bring me and James to the stage.

And I was like with a voiceover.

And I was like, say Gotham Award winners, James Scully, and Matt Reynolds.

And then they did, and we got up there, and I guess everyone was like whispering to each other, what did they, who are they?

Oh, what did they do?

Wait, who, who said that?

I'm just kidding, they didn't do that, but it was funny because we were just like brought up with all this pomp and circumstance.

Beautiful.

That's a fact.

That's a fact.

Best ensemble.

Best ensemble.

I like my Gotham Award.

I remember you saying you liked the shape of it.

Yeah.

A column.

A column.

Pretty good.

Pretty good.

And it's also silver, which is, you know, my favorite color going back to childhood.

There's a video of me.

You would be proud of me.

There's a video of me at three years old.

And they're asking you questions.

I think it was like a childhood neighborhood safety thing where they were like, what's your name?

What's your mom's name?

Where do you live?

And then they started asking more fun questions, like, what's your favorite color?

And I took a beat and I go, silver.

Heaven.

That's cool.

Silver.

Silver.

Silver.

Silver.

Polished silver.

An answer I think I would never give again.

Even though it's true.

But you know, know, your favorite color is silver.

I think so.

You're a warm tone.

Which is why it's surprising that his favorite color is silver.

You're warm tone.

You mean like, do I

feel like your undertone of like your coloring?

Oh,

is this the thing where the lady puts the fabric on the bottom?

I think you, as part of,

as part of promotion for the show, I think you should have that.

A lady who does that.

Is it one lady or is it multiple lady?

There are multiple specialists and they are all so amazing.

They're like,

but the way, just the way they comment on it is just like mesmerizing.

But they're very like, see, see what I'm saying?

It's better now, right?

See what I'm saying?

Do you see the difference?

You see how this is good?

You see how this is good and this is bad?

And he's like, I'm like, oh, right.

Yeah.

See?

Right?

You felt the Holy Spirit, right?

This is, this is, this is like a driver kind of going on and on about things that we'll cut.

We'll cut that.

You will cut that.

We'll cut that.

We'll cut that.

We'll cut that yes but don't you just want that experience anyway of just having someone tell you what colors look good on you but you

it is kind of nice to hear like

don't it's probably not a good idea for you to do blank like you know what's not a great idea for me what jewel tones what i disagree really hard disagree you are jewel tones i think spiritually even

jewel tones all your all your idols are jewel tones That doesn't mean he's jewel tones.

I do love

jewel tones.

I do.

La la Gloria is such a jewel tone.

Are you kidding?

She wore a lot of jewel tones on Dust Per Housewise, if you remember.

There was always like a really

bright royal blue.

There was always like bright reds, emeralds.

She was giving a oh, she was, she would absolutely slay in like a mint.

Ugh, love Eva.

Not a jewel.

Emerald green is what I meant to say.

Mint.

Love Eva.

I love Eva.

I do love Eva.

Has she been on the podcast?

Have you met Eva?

Have you met Eva?

I've never met her.

That feels wrong.

It feels wrong that she hasn't been on the podcast.

No, definitely.

No, certainly.

We talk about L.A., L.A.

We talk about her all the time.

Is she aware of this?

She must be.

I think she might be.

In fact, she's like, which gay guys are those?

Right.

I'm sure she asked that.

Someone must have clued her in on the award that we named after her.

The Eva Longorio Award.

Tiny Woman Huge Impact.

Tiny Woman Huge Impact.

We wanted her to present the award, but the schedules did not align.

Because she's directing.

Yes, she is directing.

And what I would say is, in advance, I would love for her to come next year.

God willing, we get to do it again.

Eva Longoria, if you're listening, please come next year.

Julia will do another bit.

Honestly, I think Julia should win an award next year.

It's probably about time, huh?

I think you should give it a year.

I think it's about time.

Well, let's see how color theories is.

Let's see.

Let's see.

22 performances yeah 22 performances not enough to qualify for anything but maybe a Los Colteristas maybe a Les Colteristas award definitely is it gonna be filmed or is it pure theater because Taylor Swift would film it

she would

she would film it she would film it she's doing does that mean you wouldn't what I'll I'll film it yes yes yes yes yes yes yes maybe that way maybe we weren't supposed to

We weren't supposed to ask we'll cut her we'll cut it around no yeah Olivia is about to scold us olivia we have the same manager

and she is likely to take a meeting in the middle of the show much like man

a thousand percent one thousand we love you olivia

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So there's my at-home voice and my podcast voice, which I'm using right now.

My podcast voice, as you can hear, is like a leveled-up version of me.

Kind of like the new DiGiorno wood-fired style crust pizza.

The fresh from home pizza you've always loved, but now, wow, with a leveled up, crispy, yet perfectly airy crust.

Besides being in front of this mic to chat with you, our readers, my favorite place to be is at home.

And now that Dijorno has new wood-fired-style crust pizzas, I might start doing the show from home more often.

DiGiorno is dropping a new crust and four topping varieties: premium pepperoni, supreme speciale, Italian meat trio, and four cheese.

Oh my god, these sounds so good.

I may need to excuse myself now and go make one right at this moment.

You've never had pizza like this at home.

It's restaurant quality pizza without all the other restaurant stuff.

Not having to deal with all the restaurant BS is heaven, really.

With premium cheese and all the best toppings encased in a wood-fired-style crust, my night in just leveled up.

The new DiGiorno Wood-Fired style crust pizza.

It's not delivery.

It's Dijorno.

Now I think it's time.

I think it's time.

It's time for I don't think so, honey.

So just to refresh you and everyone at home, it's a one-minute segment that we take to rant rail, destroy, really like, I don't know, sometimes just totally obliterate something in culture that's bothering us something has recently come to my attention uh actually as a result of the culture awards okay and that's the angle i'm taking today this is exciting this is matt rogers's i don't think so honey his time starts now i don't think so honey the people who thought that the lyric in diet pepsi was costco chain no so a lot of people as a result of ben platt's um brilliant rendition of Diet Pepsi by Addison Ray have for the first time heard cross gold chain.

And then a lot of people are like, I thought it was Costco chain.

I don't think so, honey.

What is a Costco chain?

Like, I understand you can go to Costco and buy many things, but I don't think jewelry is one of them.

Also, you can.

I just feel like it's, it's, it's a reach.

And I understand that the, the song was written in like a Lana Del Rey sort of like fever dream, but I think we're trying to reach at like what would Lana say?

And maybe Lana Del Rey would say, I bought a chain at Costco, but that's not what the lion is.

And if you listen to it more than once, you hear that it's cross gold chain.

I understand, like, maybe we want something different.

It's not that.

I don't think so, honey, you need to get your ears checked.

Thank you, Ben Platt, for bringing this to the forefront.

It's cross-gold chain, not Costco Chain.

I don't think so, honey.

And that's one minute.

You know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean,

Costco Chain.

More than 10 people have said this in my comments.

Like, I never really heard that it wasn't Costco Chain.

You're a comment reader.

I'm actually, I've actually now,

as a result of like the past few months i'd say i'm thinking about disabling comments it's

oh on instagram i'm thinking about just doing a flat out if i don't follow you you can't comment situation i've done that for quite some time yeah or it's it's that if for me it's just if you don't follow me you you can't comment yeah that's pretty open policy it's like

oh yeah no i guess it's like you have to like you can't comment unless you follow me which is actually quite it's it's like therefore it's no like random people just yeah yeah doing a drive-by shit.

Yeah, you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Um,

and so that might be something you got to commit to following me, kind of cute if you want to insult me

if you want to get in my head for hours.

You got to follow me first.

If you want to say racist or homophobic things, you got to hit the follow button.

Follow me first.

It really is something, huh?

It's interesting how this all worked.

How this all worked.

And how it never really was meant to be part of the human experience.

Whenever you say this, I'm like, that is true.

And it all goes to little mark to little mark gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble every little comment every little piece of hate gobble gobble gobble every time

yeah cha-ching for for the the hate means cha-ching every time you say like it's actually not a thing where we're not supposed to know other people's thoughts we're not supposed to read other people's thoughts right in that way where it's like little bit by bit by bit by bit i'm not supposed to read other people's thoughts and it's yeah because there's a lot of stream of consciousness in there, of course,

and you're like, there's no unifying thing here other than it's a response, like what's what one particular image is supposed to convey, like it's whatever.

I don't have to get into it, TBD.

For now, let it rip in the comments.

They're still, they're just watching it while you can.

Um, are you ready, Bo and Yang?

Do you have an I don't think so, honey?

I do, I do.

Okay, this is Bo and Yang's.

I don't think so, honey.

His time starts now.

I don't think so, honey.

Weed soda.

I don't think this is helping me in particular anymore.

I enjoy it for other people.

I'm not going to name brands, but a weed soda has recently knocked me on my ass.

And it's made by amazing people.

I just

that we know and we love.

But the weed soda has been sent to me in yet another box full of four six packs.

And you know what?

I have no one but myself to blame.

And I take it back, actually.

I don't blame the people, I blame myself for

imbibing three weed sodas.

Oh, no, no, I had, I had one, no, I had one, three weed sodas over three days, but I had one, I had half a weed soda last night that I shared with our friend, Celestium.

And 15 seconds, I woke up today groggier than ever.

I think this is just a moratorium on marijuana overall.

Um, five seconds, this is my Reagan rave.

Nancy was on to something, just say no.

Oh, God, and that's one minute.

Now, all that does is make me want it even more no i've never had one i enjoy it it kind of it sneaks up on you in a way that like anedible anedible hits you out of nowhere you know the joint hits you it kind of just hits you right away but the wheat soda just just like slowly i don't like feeling groggy i know and i know i wonder if that's because you maybe had too many

I had half of one last night and I woke up this morning feeling crazy tired.

I'm just talking consecutively.

Sure.

Because I do think it's a thing.

It's cumulative.

We were just in Pete Town and so it was sort of like

cigarette alley like when i'm on vacation like i will allow myself to be corrupted by members of the vacation party that smoke cigarettes and i just smoke a lot of them and i drink a lot and then i'm smoking a lot of weed and i'm just like afterwards i feel bad for like four or five days and i think it was just the consistency i'm on that come down for sure yeah me too you're doing good now I think so now that I'm with you guys I actually did I said I got back to the city today and felt so much better good like I was just like it was just like this thing of like, you know, the post-vacation when you're kind of just like, oh, now I'll sit for a while.

And the sitting just kind of like.

I don't have that, but I've heard of this phenomenon.

Why don't you have that?

Of like, we're talking about like an emotional valley after a vacation.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is so common.

You don't have it.

Yeah, I don't think I do.

I'm so jealous.

I guess, is that because you're not doing a lot of like drugs on vacation?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that's what it is.

Yeah.

It's good.

It's good.

It's good for you.

Pure, innocent fun.

I'm in rehearsal mode.

I'm in rehearsal mode.

Are you Broadway show?

Shall we have a little line?

No.

No.

I'm in rehearsal mode.

Nasal rest, nasal rest.

Wait, but who I would, how much money do I make?

Would I have to pay you?

Are you making?

A, and B, would I have to pay you to wear a shirt that says, I can't, I have rehearsal.

I would die to see you wear that.

I can't, I have rehearsal.

Okay, see, now

maybe that's the title of it.

I can't, I have

rehearsals.

Can't I have rehearsal?

I think it would largely depend on the font, which would indicate whether this is an ironic shirt or like

he can't, he has rehearsal.

And you, and in order for it to be ironic, it would have to be goofy.

It would be like cursive.

It can't be, it can't look too aesthetically pleasing.

It has to look a little bit.

It has to be, it has to like.

If the font is anything but like straightforward, then

it's an ironic t-shirt.

Yes.

Right.

And it would have to be an ironic t-shirt for you to wear it.

No, because you don't wear ironic t-shirts.

Wait, I have one.

Big gun to your head.

Bazooka.

Locked and loaded.

Gun of fire.

You have to pick.

One t-shirt says, I can't.

I have rehearsal.

One says, I was young.

I needed the money.

And the other one says, not a day over fabulous.

Which one?

And you know the font it's written in.

I don't have to explain.

Yeah.

Okay.

The options were: I can't have rehearsal, Not a day over fabulous.

And I was young.

I needed the money.

And I was young.

I needed the money.

I think I'm going to go with rehearsal.

Yeah.

Cause that's like, it's so not, you're so not that person.

Yeah.

I feel like I was young.

I needed the money.

People will go like, it's okay.

Can I tell you something?

Yeah.

It's a real sign that I have in my LA apartment.

Which one of the three?

I was young.

I needed the money.

And it's it's a sign?

It's next to a picture of me and Bo and Yang.

Wait, but it's a sign?

I don't think it works if it's a knickknack.

It's like

when I quit in my apartment in 2019, when I first moved to LA, I was like, yeah, this.

I got it from like Redfin or whatever the fuck.

Like whatever the gay cracker barrel is.

No, like Redbubble.

Red bubble.

What's your red bubble?

What's the gay cracker barrel?

I don't know.

The cracker barrel is like where you buy little signs, right?

You clearly don't go online to find

special knickknacks and crafts.

Wait,

now we should take Hooly to Cracker Barrel.

Oh, I would love that.

He thinks it's where you buy signs.

You can eat peanuts and just throw the peanuts on the ground.

In addition to

having a delicious casserole or something like that.

Yeah, you can get like a 72-ounce beer.

You can eat your peanuts, which instead of like, you know, bread for the table, it's peanuts for the table, you eat the peanuts and throw it on the ground.

And then the whole thing is.

You can't just throw it on the ground?

It's like part of it.

It's a fan.

Texas Roadhouse.

Wait, sorry.

And throwing the peanut and throwing the peanut shells on the ground

brings pleasure to

I wouldn't say it's like part of it.

I don't think it's like a known thing about Cracker, but it's like you're thinking of Mix Sorely.

The thing is Texas Roadhouse is honestly what it is.

It's like, remember when we would go to Austin like every year to do story pirates?

That's right.

And we'd go to Texas Roadhouse and the whole thing was like you break open your nut with your teeth and you throw it on the ground and then someone has to come by and sweep it.

And the whole thing of like, and that's the guy to go to the back of the bank.

Crunch, crunch.

that's the game they know when they apply they could have applied at sonic they could have applied at outback steakhouse where everything gets thrown in the garbage this is something different

wow

i don't know think

we're gonna take you we're gonna take you okay to where sorry cracker barrel slash texas road

i i think both have this thing of the nuts on the ground

nuts on the ground nuts on the ground isn't that a song

it is now reality is forking right now.

Reality is forking.

I don't know any of this.

Reality is forked in a major way on this episode.

I think it's so funny.

But we'd expect nothing less.

And there's yet more to come.

And one more, I don't think so, honey, is on the way.

Will reality fork.

Imagine we put an actual commercial break in here.

It should.

Maybe we should.

Let's put it right here now.

And we're back.

Oh, everyone's pissed.

Everyone's like, that was too long.

Shut up.

So, are you ready?

I am ready.

Okay.

This is Julio Torres says, I don't think so, honey.

His time starts now.

I don't think so, honey.

Not putting shoes on the mannequins.

Oh, wow.

Honey,

honey, honey, honey.

I get it that you don't sell shoes at this store.

I understand that.

But the mannequin has...

toenails.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You have to put shoes on the mannequin.

The manufacturer of the mannequin has humanized this form to the extent that

like they're giving it toenails.

It has been thought of and you not so much as putting a sock

or just a slide, a flat, a slipper.

It's wretched.

It's wretched.

Unless this is a bathing suit store.

Right.

Because even if it's lingerie, give her a pump.

Give her a pump.

Give her a pump.

What about pajamas?

Give her a pump.

Give her a pump.

Pajamas, give her a pump.

Serve for her.

Serve for her.

Five seconds.

It is disgusting to not put shoes on the mannequins.

And that's what meant it.

I hadn't even thought of this, but that's what makes you you.

You really do have a fresh creative mind.

Wow.

Wow.

That's why I'm so happy you came in today.

I have a question.

Yeah.

Do they have to have hair?

On their head?

No.

Well, then at what point do you draw the line of the realism versus the creative?

Well, you are being very binary about it that a woman mannequin has to have long hair.

I'm not jellyfish.

I'm not sure if you're

gonna get it.

I'm saying you're a shoe, but like, if they have to have a shoe, because the mannequin has been

the realism of the mannequin

has gone to the point of them having toenails, should they have hair?

I mean, this is not to put any sort of value on, like,

being bald is not.

No, because I think that you can elect to not have hair.

That's right.

But you can, just like you can elect to not have shoes.

No, because these people are presumably not in their homes

in the world of these mannequins

do you have to worry about like how they tell time shall they all have a watch

are we to assume that all of these people give them phones of perfect 2020 vision why does it why does it

one mannequin have eyeglasses well okay okay i think that that like some of okay If it's a large store with

like 100 mannequins, say it's like Macy's.

Yeah.

Then yeah, statistically, some of them should have glasses.

Yeah.

And hair?

And hair, yeah.

What do you think about that errant mannequin that just has like both of its forearms cut off?

You know what I'm talking about.

It's just all of a sudden it's like, I was like, well, what happened to her?

Well, I think she's got a great blouse, but what happened to her arms?

Well, I think that there are mannequins that do take liberties with the human form.

Well,

yes.

But if it's going for realism, if it's going for realism and it has toenails,

give it a phone.

Give it a

phone, a wallet, give it a phone, shoes,

An ID.

A laboo boo.

A laboo boo.

Depending on the age, I guess.

Yeah, sure.

Well, now they're all ages.

No, it's all ages.

No, it's all ages.

Just final words before we let you go.

What do you think of Laboo Boo and LeFufu?

LeFufu is the friend.

The fake one.

The fake one.

Yeah.

Team LaFufu.

Team Fufu.

The People's La Boo Boo.

It's true.

Yeah.

It really is true.

Wait, ruler culture number 59.

Las boo-boo is

that.

That might make it in the book.

Absolutely.

The book,

Gonni, you guys are going to have an airline in no time.

Las Culture is with air.

No lounge air.

Oh, my God.

Those flight attendants, the way I would put on sunglasses and look away.

Jesus.

With those flight attendants.

Who are you insulting?

Regular flight attendants.

Hundreds of people at the same time.

No, no, including us.

Excuse me, sir.

Sir.

Sir.

Sir.

You haven't heard the rule of culture.

The rule of culture.

You go from the seatbelts, go from your right to your left.

It's rule of culture number one.

Wow.

We're going to have an airline.

Oh, Julio, come on, the airline.

You should have an airline.

Okay.

Captain it, as far as we care.

Yeah, I'll do it.

It'll be a private jet with a huge carbon footprint.

No,

I think Lesco Torisa's air is sort of like WoW Air.

Remember Wow Air?

What was Wow Air?

It's Wow Air.

Wow Air was an Icelandic airline that made

they all had to make stops in Reykjavik.

And they were branded in like, it was WOW.

And they had like spin-offs.

They had mom, dad, and gay.

Oh, that's cool.

What?

Yeah.

Iceland's.

Gay went to San Francisco.

I was like, gonna say they're on to something by making Reykjavika stop because everyone should go there.

It's fabulous.

I have never been.

No, we actually need to go.

So we're planning on now.

We're planning.

I did a shoot there.

It was so fun.

Is that what?

Where the next Lesco Torisas Awards happens?

I mean,

in our dream of dreams, yes, but then it would just be like us and Bjork, which really would be fine.

If we could figure that out.

I think there is like a tax incentive to shoot there.

So y'all should think about it.

No, but the whole thing about Lesco Joey says is that it's

an American show.

It's a mystery show.

It's a very American show.

It's okay.

Yeah.

I think

Wow Air makes me think of Wow chips.

What are Wow chips?

Delta Work explains this very well.

It's it's

Frido Lay used to have wow chips

like in the 90s where it was not cooked with it was cooked with a different oil called Olestra.

And the oil would kind of slip through your entire digestive system oh my god your body would not absorb the oil until they were like healthy chips but then you

spray you would take insane

shits the new there's no absorption at all oh but you would have poisonous shits from the from olestra did it say in the packaging there's no absorption at all

i think they should have because people because now they're where are they now people hated it oh they hated it well because they didn't know you they would they would if people loved it they would be around still yeah can you imagine a chip that you didn't have to digest it's a chip that every single time you digest it you have poisonous shits so that won't work at all at all that's the trade-off i mean people

hate poisonous shits more than they like non-digestive chips but kudos to them for being so good that it was even a conversation there for a while yeah because you wouldn't even think that there is a conversation there no that's like a that's like an interesting show that has like one season

before we let you go one thing i realized is you actually and taylor have another thing in common i think you would really i i i know she really likes this word and i think you would like this word what is the word variant variant

the agent variant

like she puts out different variants in the finals now all the swifties which is millions of people very

use the word variant in everyday everyday language like epidemiology terms like variant like a new strain yeah variant and is it like like like medical pop like

like variants we haven't heard it yet we don't know we haven't heard it yet we don't know but she she calls her different vinyls variants different colors of vinyls color theories variants and

she is we were thinking about you when she announced this era it's showgirls it is her circus era literally it's her She has finally got her circus.

Be careful.

Don't stay there too long.

No, no, no.

I don't think she will.

No, no.

Okay.

This is a quick little

circus.

But there's a rumor that she will be doing the Super Bowl and then the sphere in Vegas because it fits with the aesthetic of Showgirls.

And so therefore, what more of a circus literally than the sphere?

It's a circle, which is the Latin word for circus.

Wait, is the Super Bowl in Las Vegas this year?

It is not in Las Vegas, but it is in another city where

another hint from the New Heights podcast was like alluding to like the location where it would be like New Orleans or something.

Because they were like, what have you been getting into lately?

And she's like, sourdough bread.

And she kept saying, I'm really into sourdough bread.

I would say it occupies 60% of my time when I believe it's the 60th Super Bowl.

And

so this is- I'm sorry, what is the connection between sourdough bread?

SB.

Sourdough bread, Super Bowl.

And these are intentional things that she does?

Perhaps they are.

We don't know yet.

Okay.

Everything is intentional.

Until they're not.

Until our projection loses power.

Yeah.

I mean, for all we know, she's like, what?

I would actually kill to see you two in conversation.

I'm not kidding.

I think it would be really good.

Two directors.

Two directors.

She's got something at Searchlight.

Yeah.

Does she?

Yeah.

Variant.

A variant.

Agent, a variant.

What is agent?

How does agent come in?

I don't know.

I imagine sort of like a

bombshell, ultraviolet in that genre.

Atomic blonde.

Atomic blonde.

Agent.

Yeah, not bombshell.

No, no, no.

Atomic blonde.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Agent variant.

Agent variant.

I mean,

Agent Orange.

Interesting.

Well,

think about after this app.

Color Theories is running September 3rd through September 22nd.

Performance Space NYC.

22 chances.

Your memory is so

On First Avenue, not off Broadway.

We don't care for that.

On First Avenue.

We find it to be diminishing

when you say we're off Broadway.

I don't think it's diminishing.

I just think it's

so silly.

It's the things that we do.

We end every episode with a big song.

Saying takes me away.

This is is a song by Christopher Cross.

That Greta used

as a placeholder audio in a project.

We'll tell you about it later.

Titleman or Gerwin?

Titleman.

Okay.

Titleman or Gerwitz.

Feeling

takes me away from where I'm going.

I actually don't know any other words for that.

That's so good.

I recognize it.

It's a 2019 remaster.

Check it out.

Lost Culture East.

This is the production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio Podcasts.

Created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

Executive produced by Anna Hosnier and produced by Becca Ramos.

Edited and mixed by Doug Bain.

And our music is by Henry Kswirsky.

You know that feeling when you want to buy something but also want to feel like an adult about it?

Mm-hmm.

Klarna gets it.

Klarna has an app that helps you shop smarter, track your spending, compare prices, earn cash back, which who doesn't want that?

And if needed, split payments interest-free.

No drama, no guessing, no weird math.

Just a little more clarity when you click add to cart.

Klarna is your smarter everyday spending partner.

Download the Klarna app or learn more at Klarna.com.

California resident loans made or arranged pursuant to a California finance law license.

NMLS number 135-3190.

Klarna balance account required.

Klarna may get a commission.

Limitations, terms, and conditions apply.

There's my at-home voice and my podcast voice.

My podcast voice is like a leveled-up version of me.

Kind of like the new DiGiorno Wood-Fired style crust pizza.

With a leveled up, crispy, yet perfectly airy crust.

Now that DiGiorno has new wood-fired style crust pizzas, I might start doing the show from home.

DiGiorno is dropping a new crust in four topping varieties: Premium Pepperoni, Supreme Speciale, Italian Meat Trio, and Fort Cheese.

I'll have all four.

You've never had pizza like this at home.

It's restaurant-quality pizza without all the other restaurant stuff.

The new DiGiorno Wood-Fired style crust pizza.

It's not delivery, it's DiGiorno.

Do you know what the perfect addition is to any party?

What?

A Casamigos margarita.

Everyone loves a Casamigos margarita.

She really is that girl.

It's true.

Everyone can get behind her.

She's a little tangy.

She's a little sweet.

She's good anyway, Tway.

Anything goes with my Casamigos.

And that's rule of culture number 87.

Because anything goes with my Casamigos.

Please drink responsibly.

Imported by Casamigo Spirits Company, White Plains, New York.

Casamigo's tequila, 40% alcohol by volume.

No more dates to feel like job interviews.

In 2025, you deserve a space where you can show up just as you are, ready to meet others just as they are.

On Field, that's F-E-E-L-D.

You have the breathing room to explore your desires, think open relationships, cuddling, being a brat, and find communities that share your interests.

Think DD, tennis, and zine making.

Free from ads and completely independent, this is the place that draws curious, playful, and open-minded people, the ones you've been looking for.

Download Field, that's F-E-E-L-D, on the App Store or Google Play.

This is an iHeart podcast.