"The Twins Are Fighting Again" (w/ Matt & Bowen)

Transcript

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Speaker 1 Look, man.

Speaker 1 Oh, I see. My eye.
Oh, my. Bowen, look over there.
Wow, is that culture? Yes. Goodness.
Wow. Las culturistas.

Speaker 1 Ding-dong. Las culturistas calling.

Speaker 1 Bowen and I are in conflict. We're not tash out, even though we could be.
No, please. Oh,

Speaker 1 how could I resist? I can't stay mad at you.

Speaker 1 No matter how hard I try. How are you feeling after the Super Bowl?

Speaker 1 Well, I missed a lot of it, but I am a little bit rattled, honestly. Why? What happened that rattles you? It's crazy.
I'm not to talk politics, but it's crazy that

Speaker 1 our president is going after yet another pop star.

Speaker 1 He loves it. He loves to

Speaker 1 be with pop stars and awards bodies, like I said, as if they're individuals. And

Speaker 1 he gets off on it. So how many times has he tweeted about Taylor?

Speaker 1 A lot.

Speaker 1 I'm not keeping track of it on Twitter or on Truth Soch. I just know that he's reveling in it.
And like, God, if you could go back to 2009 and be like,

Speaker 1 go to the VMAs and be like, Taylor, this is what's going to happen to you.

Speaker 1 Like, yay, sorry, dead named Kanye. There I did it again.
You're going to buy out an ad at the dentist to go to Yeezy.com. Did you end up seeing it? No.

Speaker 1 So for people that don't know it, there was this insane Kanye ad that he had bought. It was just him like,

Speaker 1 really out of it, like telling people to go to Yeezy.com.

Speaker 1 I have to say, like, does he still sell clothes is that still his thing i i'm not sure i don't even know what his deal is anymore i'm just afraid of it hey guys this is matt um i just wanted to jump on here very quickly and say that this episode was recorded before we found out what kanye west was selling on his website obviously bowen and i um had no interest in actually logging on to yeezy.com and so it wasn't until much later a couple days later that we found out what exactly he was selling which was t-shirts with swastikas on them.

Speaker 1 So that's obviously fucking insane. And our sentiment, as always, is fuck Kanye West.

Speaker 1 And I just wanted to make sure that we made that totally clear so that you didn't think we were being glib or dismissing the situation as like anything other than what it is, which is fucking disgusting.

Speaker 1 So back to the episode. Just wanted to jump on and clear the air.
Bye.

Speaker 1 I think.

Speaker 1 Something broke. The way that Sarah Sherman talked about David Lynch and how he used the atom bomb as a way of talking about humanity being broken and shattering.

Speaker 1 Like, there's something shattered culturally when,

Speaker 1 I think, when that moment happened. What, the VMAs? Yeah.
Yeah. That's the origin point.
There's so much of what's happening now. Yep.
For like

Speaker 1 this brook to diverge in the wood

Speaker 1 in this way.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Like that, that was a very fateful night. You have so much clarity.

Speaker 1 no i know i can only call it post nut clarity no because i know you got the nut yesterday how do you know you told me so we are not gonna do this so this was what we were in conflict about before the episode started bowen just no longer wants to discuss his personal sexual exploits on the podcast.

Speaker 1 I'm happy to

Speaker 1 discuss them. I'm piggy in shit.
He is rolling around like a pig in shit. He's like, Tate, it's okay.
I'm okay. Like, imagine like Bowen just, and it's cocks all around.

Speaker 1 It's okay. I'm okay.
He's turning down the cocks. He's saying, it's okay.
I'm okay. Cause he's so irritated.
Well, you know, the origin of that phrase. What?

Speaker 1 She was in the studio and they were like, you know, it's around mealtime. Like, let's order some food.
Like, Tate, do you want anything? And she kept saying, it's okay. I'm okay.
Really?

Speaker 1 And then that's because she wanted to keep working. She wanted to keep working.
She's, she is.

Speaker 1 This is the thing. This is someone who holds all three of her titles very seriously, equally seriously.
Singer, songwriter, dancer. Yes.
Nothing takes over.

Speaker 1 It's a very well-balanced, you know, triangle, a plane, as it were. And Tate McRae will be on the podcast in two weeks.
We're very excited.

Speaker 1 And what you just did right there was amazing for two reasons. One, it provided new information about Tate that I didn't know.
And then two, I deflected it. And two, it was a misdirect.

Speaker 1 It was a redirect. It was a deflection and a project.
Okay, when was the last time you talked about your sexploits? I actually have an announcement.

Speaker 1 I'm no longer bringing my sexploits and personal life to this podcast because I'm genuinely out here dating again.

Speaker 1 And so I don't want anyone to know how I'm, how I um like, I don't want to say one thing and then someone think it's about them. Right.

Speaker 1 No, I've had that happen recently. I've had that happen recently where I was on, I was on our good friend's Pat and Kat's podcast treatment and was talking about someone.

Speaker 1 And then another person thought that I was talking about them. Oop.
And then Amelia Bedelia vibes. It's Amelia Bedelia vibes.

Speaker 1 It's like in sister-sister when they would both go, when they would have to switch. I got my own mind.
I do my own stuff in my own time. Yes.
Just like sister-sister.

Speaker 1 Should we reboot? Yes.

Speaker 1 That actually should be our show. It's a sister-sister reboot with us where we played twins.

Speaker 1 Where we played twins. And the conceit is no one can tell us apart because we're twins.
Well, you know, this is an interesting glimpse.

Speaker 1 Of course, Matt and I wrote a show for Ars Nova

Speaker 1 Handfest called Night Soap. But it was originally something else.
It was originally called, and this was conceived back in college. We were like,

Speaker 1 we were just on some different shit back then because Matt came up with the title, The Twins Are Fighting Again, a Gay Fantasia with Themes. A Gay Fantasia with Themes.

Speaker 1 With themes, where we did play Twins. And then we did end up, like, we always wanted for the show to end in a space battle, which ended up being the thing that carried over into Night Soap.

Speaker 1 You know that I still have notebooks full of like plot ideas and joke ideas and twists for our show, The Twins Are Fighting Again. Really? Yes.
I think it's pretty much.

Speaker 1 The Twins Are Fighting Again is title of Ep. The Twins Are Fighting Again.
Wow. So we eventually did create media that was The Twins Are Fighting Again.

Speaker 1 Which was this podcast or do you mean Night Soap? I'm just saying it ultimately we did it because we will release this episode. It will be called The Twins Are Fighting Again with Matt and Bowen.

Speaker 1 So don't let anyone tell you it's not possible that your kind of half-baked idea can't come through later.

Speaker 1 It can show up in any form. It can show up in any form.
Yeah. But we didn't end up doing it.
We did Night Soap, which maybe Night Soap will see the light of day. I still believe in Night Soap.

Speaker 1 Oh, I love Nightsap. I'm so proud of him as some sort of

Speaker 1 entity. I'm really proud of Night Soap because we tore.
We tore. Not only did we tear, but we really gagged the girls with a plot twist at the end.
You know, I almost died that night.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? Okay, no, it wasn't that night. It was for your other, you did another show at Ars Nova.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And I did, so there was a time in my life, there was, what would you call this, like an eight to 10 month period of my life during pop roulette and that time where I was doing death drops on stage.

Speaker 1 Yes. You were doing a lot of, and you were very good, but

Speaker 1 I was describing it. Full leaps into the air, like no training, just me visualizing in my head and watching drag race how it should be and allowing myself to fall on the ground.

Speaker 1 This was my entire late 20s. And during that, I forget what it was.
You were doing some,

Speaker 1 yeah, I forget

Speaker 1 Shogasm or something. I was Shogasm.
Yeah, you were hosting something or performing some one-person show, and I came out and did a death drop.

Speaker 1 And afterwards, I was told that my neck almost Hillary swank Million Dollar Babied on a chair. Can you imagine? Matt, oh my God, I'm so sad even thinking about that.
It would have been really awful

Speaker 1 had I Hillary swank Million Dollar Baby because I thought, oh, let me do a death drop. Imagine explaining that to my parents.

Speaker 1 You would have to have done it. I would have had to have done it.
I would have been in a police outfit for some reason.

Speaker 1 That's how you do it in a police outfit. I just imagine being in a quote-unquote police outfit, knocking at your parents' door, telling them that their son had passed away.
Okay, let's act it out. No.

Speaker 1 I'm Katrina. Oh my God.
Richie, it's Bowen.

Speaker 1 Hi. What are you doing here? You look so cute.

Speaker 1 Miss Rogers, I'm... Miss Rogers.

Speaker 1 Are you? My name is Officer Yang, and

Speaker 1 I...

Speaker 1 What's happened?

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 1 I don't like this at all. Your son was doing...

Speaker 1 A shogasm, was a guest on a... I don't understand.
A shogasm show. what's that it's i don't know shogasm it's it's at ours nova which is

Speaker 1 really a oh it's a play on the words orgasm and show well i understood that part

Speaker 1 well so what happened how was the show it was mid it was a mid show what's mid well oh sorry so in about 10 years that's going to be a term that people use oh so sort of in the middle sort of not so good not so many

Speaker 1 well you know you do lots of great shows but we love coming to the shows

Speaker 1 in this moment i'm sorry sorry mr rogers in this moment i'm katrina you've always called me katrina some reason i've taken it upon myself to be a police officer

Speaker 1 who is new for you but i support you we love the police my mom doesn't say that

Speaker 1 i don't know how my mom feels about the police back end your son matt did a death drop oh no

Speaker 1 and he um Hillary recently and Million Dollar Babied his head on a chair. Won the boxing match?

Speaker 1 I only saw the first 45 minutes of that movie and fell asleep.

Speaker 1 What happens at the end? Is your husband around? Can I come in?

Speaker 1 Yeah, of course. Come in.
And see.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 You are so embodied in Katrina. I know her better than she fucking knows herself.
Oh, my God. Do you feel? I feel like you are that way with me sometimes.
You know me better than I know me.

Speaker 1 Here's what I'll say.

Speaker 1 I know your energy sometimes without even being in the room. I literally know exactly how you feel at all times.

Speaker 1 I know

Speaker 1 you have to scoop you.

Speaker 1 Yes, I usually have like some sense of

Speaker 1 what the temperature is at all times. So, like, whether you're okay, you're okay or

Speaker 1 not.

Speaker 1 Like, what was the last time you tried to like really channel into like my? I mean, I literally walked in today, looked at you and said, what's the matter? No, that's a whole separate thing.

Speaker 1 It is a whole separate thing. I was having a conversation with

Speaker 1 Engineer Doug and we were talking about something heavy.

Speaker 1 And I come in the room and I saw,

Speaker 1 I don't even know how to describe it. There is almost like a, it's like a, it's like a resigned yearning.
It's like, oh,

Speaker 1 I said, what's the matter? I don't know. I was listening to the conversation.

Speaker 1 I was listening to your conversation as you guys walked in because it was dovetailing on a conversation that I was having with Engineer Doug as well about the same heavy topic. Yes.
Yes.

Speaker 1 We're dancing around this. It's not, it's not anything bad.
it's just it's a thing that you know no it's nothing bad it is right it's something bad it's just not something that should be

Speaker 1 do you mind if we if we share like okay so doug experienced lots of pain because of the fires his neighborhood is has taken quite the beating and we're thinking of him and we were just checking in with him and again reaching out to everyone out there who it's it's so odd sometimes when i feel like the world moves on you know what i mean i can't stop thinking about this yeah Like, it's like, I remember when I was little, like my great-grandfather passed away when I was 12.

Speaker 1 And I remember I had this moment where it was like, it was like mid-November. It was cold in Long Island.
And we were at the funeral and we get in the car and we turned on the car.

Speaker 1 And I remember like, so loudly, like pop music started playing from the FM radio. And I was like, it's so crazy that.
the rest of the world is still listening to pop music.

Speaker 1 And like, you know, it's going to be a sunny day today or it's going to continue. Like the world's going to keep going going in this way, despite this tragedy.

Speaker 1 And I can't imagine how it must feel to have the entire world pivot and like send you condolences.

Speaker 1 And, like, obviously, it's been a lasting topic in the news because it's such a tragedy and so much has befallen that region. But

Speaker 1 the moment where it feels like everyone else moves on of the world keeps turning. Of course, it must, but it's still.

Speaker 1 Well, it just makes it impossible to

Speaker 1 go between like

Speaker 1 feeling this interior kind of like

Speaker 1 mourning and loss.

Speaker 1 And like, how do you cope with that like from within and then try to engage with the world in a way that like isn't totally devastating because it's like, oh, the world does spin on and you're like, Yeah.

Speaker 1 What does this mean? I wish I could specifically remember what song it was that was playing because you know it was dumb. Was it what year was this? It was 2002.

Speaker 1 So, so let's think about November 2002.

Speaker 1 Are we that good at culture? I'm going to say Ashanti

Speaker 1 Foolish. Foolish? No, I hope it was.
Oh, that's a good thing. But the thing is, I feel like if it was Ashanti Foolish, which, by the way, is a great song.

Speaker 1 Is that on the Great Global Songbook? I don't think it is. I don't think it is.
We might have to do a new list. That might be nominated.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Foolish by Ashanti might be nominated. Wow.
I don't know in what category, but it might be nominated for me.

Speaker 1 We have to.

Speaker 1 I keep on running back to you. Wow.
I mean, we can't officially say it's nominated yet because there are meetings involved. No, there's so much meetings involved.
Now more than ever, there's meetings.

Speaker 1 There's meetings involved. Let's just say the culture awards.
There's meetings involved. There's meetings involved.

Speaker 1 That's all we can say.

Speaker 1 Why are we multimedia?

Speaker 1 Because this was, this is all, this is what you are pushed to do these days. You have to be multimedia.

Speaker 1 I didn't ask to write a book, but they asked us.

Speaker 1 How did that go? Did we ask to write it or did they ask us? I think we always wanted to write.

Speaker 1 We always wanted to write Rules of Culture. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 I'm cooked. And so I don't think I could write, like, I'm like, Rules of Culture is the perfect book project for me and us, but I'm saying my brain, because I don't think I could write down a single

Speaker 1 thought or depiction of my experience in like a memoir form if I were to ever gun to my head have to do that.

Speaker 1 You literally could, but I, at the same time, I do think it's good that we're sort of entering the book space with like not training wheels, but we get to do it together. Yes.

Speaker 1 And we get to do this thing that's going to have like such a fun container. Yes.

Speaker 1 And so it's practice for your

Speaker 1 incredible, revelatory,

Speaker 1 searing,

Speaker 1 trenchant, trenchient, provocative sexual at times. If you ever open up, because here I am trying to get you to open up about your goddamn sexual exploits, but it's like trying to milk a stone.

Speaker 1 Is that a real expression? I think so. It's actually ruler culture number 88.
Trying to milk a stone is a real expression. That's a real expression.
That's that real expression.

Speaker 1 Like, Like, I was talking to my girl the other day, and I was trying to find out what we were doing this weekend, and it was like trying to milk a stone.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wait, I get what you're saying. Should the episode, should the title of that be to milk a stone instead of the twins are fighting again? To milk a stone.

Speaker 1 Well, okay, now we're giving too much shine on to milk a stone. You know what? I wish we could do what have the readers vote for this title of her.
I know.

Speaker 1 But we can't because that's not going to work. Chronologically, logistically, it doesn't make sense.

Speaker 1 I i get so frustrated when there are chronological or logistical limits yeah i i've been like that since i was little what was the first

Speaker 1 time travel narrative back to the future i guess certainly back to the future which if they ever come to me and ask for my letterbox yeah that's up there i'm saying four wars back to the future

Speaker 1 you see me have to check that it was four oh i would have had to check and we all have to check sometimes thank you for that So, Back to the Future is a great film.

Speaker 1 1985 released. Yes.
Who knew that they would know so much about how the future would go? Flying cars. Yes.
Actually, if you've watched that movie, if you watch Back to the Future Part 2 again,

Speaker 1 it's actually kind of freaky. Well, because What's His Face is president? Because Biff turns into Trump and then he becomes president.

Speaker 1 The world's destitute. I'm like, tell me what you're like.
How

Speaker 1 tell me what you're like. How do these people who make

Speaker 1 stories and make up fictional things, sometimes they do know?

Speaker 1 Well, it's actually not.

Speaker 1 It's not that hard to think, like. I don't know.
All I keep thinking about these days is Final Fantasy VII. I'm like, how did they know? What happens in that?

Speaker 1 It's these people become eco-terrorists because the government is literally corporation and that's what's happening now. Sorry.

Speaker 1 It's like our entire government is now being bought by private equity in a sense. It's crazy.
Like the concept of like a national border is not going to be a thing very soon.

Speaker 1 It's like it's just going to be a big corporation. And that's literally the plot of Final Fantasy VII.
This energy company called Shinra is sucking

Speaker 1 the planet's life energy dry. And you are a band of eco-terrorists trying to stop Shinra, but then you have to stop this insane

Speaker 1 super warrior named Sephiroth who wants to destroy the... Oh, I've heard about Sephiroth.
You've brought her up before. I did not like her at all.

Speaker 1 Well, because I told you that she was voiced by Lance Bass in Kingdom Hearts. Now,

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 1 Are we saying she isn't like referring to Sephiroth as like a big, bad, gay guy? No, Sephiroth is. Well, Sephiroth could be read as queer for sure.
Seriously? There's no like romantic interest.

Speaker 1 Like, Sephiroth is not romantic. Like, in a way, Sephiroth is like an ace king.

Speaker 1 Do you think that if they did Sephiroth's backstory and we find out that actually Sephiroth was queer and maybe it was not so easy growing up that he would be a sympathetic character?

Speaker 1 You would eventually gain sympathy for Sephiroth and understand, maybe?

Speaker 1 You do have sympathy for Sephiroth in the story, I will say, because he is, he starts out being this heroic warrior that Cloud Strife idolizes and the whole world idolizes really. It's Sephiroth.

Speaker 1 He is a great, a warrior of great renown. But then he learns of his origins that he was created by having allegedly, well, it's so complicated, but he discovers that

Speaker 1 he was quote unquote created by having the cells of this alien creature named Genova injected into this woman named Lucretia.

Speaker 1 And he has a psychotic breakdown because he's like, well, Jenova is my mother and I have to destroy the planet because

Speaker 1 Jenova wants to.

Speaker 1 It's so complicated. So a lot about family lineage and what is expected of you, clouding the judgment.
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Do you believe that if Sephiroth could have just been a normal gay guy, that he would have been happier? I don't think Japanese, so it's a Japanese game.

Speaker 1 Japanese culture has not fully grappled with queerness in the way that Western culture has. And that's not a knock on it.
It's just. I'm doing a lot of conjecture.

Speaker 1 No, I think you're asking such important questions. And I think it would be a better game if there was an explicit queer narrative put in.

Speaker 1 So what you're saying is you think that if Japanese culture was only at the place that American culture is at, like if they had really grappled with queerness and they could have injected that into the story of Sefiroth, that we as a world's culture could understand Sephiroth more.

Speaker 1 And therefore, we might have more of a sympathy for him.

Speaker 1 Perhaps. And I will say, and I do want to walk back something and say that it's not that there's a notion of catching up, that Japan has to catch up to Western culture in terms of queerness.

Speaker 1 In many ways, they've been pioneers. Of course, there's the Sailor Stars.
There's a huge, very trenchant trans narrative in that.

Speaker 1 It's it's this boy band when they turn into the sailor stars, they turn into women. So we could learn from Japanese culture about how to receive queer people.
Always.

Speaker 1 You think that we should do more like they do. And I would encourage you to go visit the nation of Japan.
You know, I want to go. I know you do.

Speaker 1 Well, after you came back and had such a wonderful time, I thought that's the next spot for me. I thought, let's go to Tokyo.
What would you want to do in Tokyo?

Speaker 1 I think you will have a very Stefani-esque, Gwen Stefani-esque sort of journey there.

Speaker 1 You will visit her and that i come back even more problematic when have you ever been problematic i ask this genuinely

Speaker 1 truly i'm like when have i ever been problematic probably in the ways normal white gay men are in the ways that everybody is yeah but let's just say it like problematic it's like i think oh i'm not i i'm not i don't i don't actually want to explore this well you brought it up no i'm i which you tried to burn me on this episode that's what you did You came in here and you said, I'm going to get him.

Speaker 1 You've once and for all. You've been so combative.
Combative. Even this, we had, we did, we had a Microsoft Teams meeting this morning and Matt was in the middle of this.

Speaker 1 It was like 20 people and Matt was in the middle of this great run. And I just wanted to quickly add something in.
And then Matt, you know, in a very interesting way said, don't

Speaker 1 you? I wasn't talking to you. Someone else was trying to touch.
No, you were talking to me. No, it wasn't.
I'm telling you, I can't say the person's name, but someone, someone there was like,

Speaker 1 and i felt them do that and that was what that was what was the word choice exactly it was um don't do this let me finish it was i think it was i think i think what i said to this other person was just one second just one second is really charged

Speaker 1 just one second

Speaker 1 I wasn't when you know it's not going to be just one second. Excuse me.
What was it? Six seconds?

Speaker 1 First of all, now

Speaker 1 it wasn't you that I was doing that to, but now I'm pissed that you tried to cut me off during Microsoft Teams meeting. First of all, well, this is my own thing, so honey.
Oh, what?

Speaker 1 Oh, no, no, not you. Just the platform.
Oh, Microsoft Teams. I don't understand.
No, we need to save it. It is actually, I came in with this in the pocket.
I'm happy that you did.

Speaker 1 I didn't have anything today. Life's been so good.

Speaker 1 Everything's been great.

Speaker 1 You look great in this cardigan, by the way. Thank you.
This is one of my favorite things. It's from Corridor.
I love Corridor. Yeah, I really like them.
They're really good.

Speaker 1 Oh, look, but I've buttoned it incorrectly. That's okay.
Oh, you know that horrible feeling? It's women's cold. Never mind.
No, it looks even. No, it's good.
It's even.

Speaker 1 You know what Corridor is good at? Everything that knits, sweaters, knits, sweaters, flannels, gay and straight can wear. Yes.

Speaker 1 In fact, sometimes you go in there and...

Speaker 1 I can only describe the atmosphere from the people that work there as

Speaker 1 super friendly, straight guys and you leave being like you gonna be all right we're gonna be all right

Speaker 1 yeah i i do leave corridor thinking god i mean if we could all just come together at corridor yeah you know who's the straight guy that i

Speaker 1 actually it's worked on me you know what i'm gonna say uh remind me Dylan Efron from the Traders. Oh, we love Dylan.

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 love the vibe. I love the vibe.
It's just a sweet boy. You see that one picture that's floating around online about him with his booty in the air? Oh, yeah, sure.

Speaker 1 We should literally put it up on the back wall and just like have that be the thing for Lost Co. Can you look up Dylan Efron booty? Yeah, and then show your wife your Google search history later.

Speaker 1 Dylan Efron ass in air. He's in like the water or something.
You got to look it up. Oh, I've seen this picture.
It's very Tate McRae-coded. Very Tate McRae-coated.

Speaker 1 I'm excited to truly finally see what she looks like tate tate because you know on iconic 400 we were singing her braces but my bit back then was she's just moving around so we still want to see your beautiful face want to see your beautiful face and i have to of course this is all in just we love tate and we she's a beautiful girl and she does have a history of sitting still and being still we're about to we're about to have a conversation with her yes sing a little something for us tate mccray I just want you two hands on me.

Speaker 1 Listen, Bob. It's a great song.
How you doing over there with that gay search? I got it. You got it.
What do you think? All right, now put it up here.

Speaker 1 Now, I know it has to be a certain frame rate or something.

Speaker 1 We're going to look at this, whatever it is, frame rate.

Speaker 1 You can't get it up here. You can't get it up.

Speaker 1 It's on the drive. Then bring your computer over here.
Next time we will have it. We'll just show it to the camera.
We're just going to show it to the camera. Okay, so this is the pic.

Speaker 1 This is a sort of famous picture of Dylan Efron. Now, I'm going to zoom in.

Speaker 1 I'm going to zoom in on this. All right.
So this is what we're giving. This is good stuff.
Now, why would that man do that if he wasn't trying to tease and

Speaker 1 bait a little? Well, you know, he looks like a skilled, skilled boy. This is back arch culture.
I mean, this is a great picture. This is an amazing photo.
There's such a confidence in that pose

Speaker 1 that it makes you wonder. And I, and it's not like a...

Speaker 1 This is not a panic situation. It's just like, embrace it.
The eyes are locked on the camera too.

Speaker 1 The eyes are national geographic eyes this is you can only describe this as tate mcrae coded of course it's actually ruler culture number 90. you can only describe this picture of dylan

Speaker 1 as tate mcrae coded yeah okay thank you dog we'll return the laptop i'm not ready to give it up oh give it up great by the way there was that one scene of um

Speaker 1 he comes over to take it i say no and then i

Speaker 1 no there was that one scene of um dylan efron and tom sandoval walking up when they were in like the like. Oh, when they were a couple, yeah.
Spoiler alert for traders.

Speaker 1 There's a duo challenge, and Tom Sandoval and Dylan Efron are a duo in the challenge. And they're like a married couple.
They're both dressed up. It got you.
It worked on me, unfortunately.

Speaker 1 The redemption of Tom Sandoval. No, there's no redemption.
There's no light in that man's eyes.

Speaker 1 The redemption is not working on me. I'm still oh, please about Tom.
But I will say when I watched him and Dylan Efron walk down the aisle together, I had had thoughts.

Speaker 1 Well, that was just the idea of two men walking down the aisle. Yeah.
Am I that horny? No, I've been, okay, I'm about to get vulnerable. Let's go.
This is what I've been wanting for.

Speaker 1 It's not, this is the vulnerability the judges have been looking for.

Speaker 1 But this is maybe what you're getting at, which is sometimes I can just kind of get there by just thinking about the idea of two men kissing. I will say this.
Does that make sense? Yes.

Speaker 1 I would rather watch men make out than do anything else. Do all this other stuff they're doing to each other.
Then go to war.

Speaker 1 I would so much. Can I say? I agree with you.

Speaker 1 I would so much rather watch men kiss than go to war. Whoever did that mural in Berlin of whatever, was it like Henry Kissinger and Gorbachev making out or whatever that Berlin mural is?

Speaker 1 You know what I'm talking about? They should have just done that. They should have just done that.
Can I say something about these warmongers? They would love gay sex. Like, it's so fun.

Speaker 1 And once you get over the hill of like the pain or whatever like you're gonna love the way you look I guarantee I guarantee it this is my thing not to talk about the gender binary too much but I think of course never we were talking I was asking about Jalen Hurts last night during the Super Bowl and one of our friends there was saying how he has like an all-female team basically love that manager publicist whatever all women and like he was asked about that and he was like yeah I was raised by a strong mother and women are just better at their jobs and they're just better people and I was like see this is the thing.

Speaker 1 And I thought, oh, sure. Like, cause an all-male team would be like just all so much energy, so much like pent up something where I'm like,

Speaker 1 I mean, not to say gay guys don't have their problems, but you are, there is a nice release of the valve. Well, they're constantly releasing valves.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Not even necessarily on the weekends. Sometimes it happens Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.
Am I gay guys or straight guys? Can I say, I released the valve

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 Friday day.

Speaker 1 That's great. My new thing is: I love a daytime weekday hookup.

Speaker 1 And I understand a lot of people work their nine to fives, but for those who have an alternative schedules, talking to all my gay podcasters out there, daytime hookup is actually so good because you have a lot of energy.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You haven't eaten a lot yet that day. Right.
Or at all.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I just like hooking up when I can see the daylight. When you can go to a show after.
Hooked up the other day. Me and the guy went and got a sandwich.
What?

Speaker 1 I just put shits. Two hands on me.

Speaker 1 What sandwich did you get? Such a good sandwich. Actually, this part I can be specific about.
It was an insane. It was like a spicy pesto chicken sandwich that you could never eat before

Speaker 1 you bottom during the day. No way.
But post-bottoming during the day, roll up your sleeves. We're eating spicy chicken.

Speaker 1 we're eating and fisting the spicy chicken

Speaker 1 i didn't like that language at all to the elbow to the shoulder to the shoulder

Speaker 1 what were we talking about that that came out no we were talking about oh we were talking about someone we found

Speaker 1 someone someone loves someone

Speaker 1 We found out likes to be

Speaker 1 have this a sexual activity. It's on their menu, which is fisting.
yeah

Speaker 1 and i kind of just said but mad really dropped into a character and he was like and he just really

Speaker 1 he like mimed it essentially he's like to the sauna

Speaker 1 I think we went big like a glove because they were talking about how fisting begins. Right.
Where it's like, you kind of have to go in with fingers. You got to go in with fingers like this.

Speaker 1 It's got to be like Italian hands. It's like when you hold a pen.
Right. This is how you hold a pen.
No, I hold the pen weird. You see me write.

Speaker 1 I have smudges all over this part of my hand when I write.

Speaker 1 Thoughts on this? I'm a writer who writes like a lefty. That's why.
Well, a lot of great writers hold their pen in a fucked up way. Like yourself.
Sylvia Plath. Sylvia Plath.

Speaker 1 Isn't it so curious? Anytime there's like a great artist who like holds their pen like this, I'm like, oh, that's why. I loved the way you said.
Isn't it so curious?

Speaker 1 Like, it's just the way you tossed that. Isn't it so curious?

Speaker 1 Two questions. What are you doing right now? And why aren't you on a Virgin Voyages Caribbean cruise? Well, obviously, you were listening to us.
Smart use of your time. True.

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Max. Okay, good choice.
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Speaker 1 Any good documentaries lately? You know what I just watched. Did he?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did he document? We haven't really talked about that. On Peacock.
Thank you, Peacock. The only people saying the truth.
Yes.

Speaker 1 People with journalistic integrity these days. It's only Peacock out there saying the truth.
It's only Peacock out there saying that this is a coup.

Speaker 1 This is a coup. They're not saying that.

Speaker 1 People really aren't saying that. People aren't saying it.
Like, did you see that crazy ass interview that Christy Noam did? By the way, Christy Noam, I forget what her comment.

Speaker 1 But she's, she's.

Speaker 1 she's um she's homeland security. She's homeland security.
She's the one who shot her dog because it was annoying. And then gotten glam before the ice raids in New York.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so she was, I think, with Dana Bash on CMN being like, we can't trust the government. And Dana Bash was like, you know, you are the government.

Speaker 1 We can't trust the government. Like, what are they going to say now that they can't say?

Speaker 1 Well, no, but the problem is the fault is entirely with the government. And that's them saying we are just here to just to dismantle.
Right, right, right. You know what I mean? Okay, cool.
Great.

Speaker 1 But it's like, but then, like, where does that authority come from anyway? You know what I love about all this? It's making eggs cheaper.

Speaker 1 You know what I love about all these executive orders, like totally changing the price of milk. 100%.

Speaker 1 And thank God that 10 trans athletes in the United States can no longer compete. What are we talking about?

Speaker 1 And you know, progressive media is falling apart too. You were telling me about this drama between the Young Turks.
Oh, the Young Turks is

Speaker 1 in shambles. Well, it's, oh, God.

Speaker 1 It's crazy. Like, to watch them make like a rightward swing, to watch

Speaker 1 Hysterian on like Jillian Michaels' podcast. Oh, it's crazy.
Jillian Michaels is out is out here with the right-wing podcast. This is my impression of Jillian Michaels on her podcast.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Biggest loser, Jillian Michaels? Yes. She kind of went to the opposite direction as Bob Harper.

Speaker 1 Bob Harper went to the truth and the light, which is Peacock to the traitors. Peacocks the Traders.
Jillian went swinging right podcast. What was how did we get on this?

Speaker 1 I don't know how we've gotten on a single thing we've talked about today. It's been one of the documentaries.
Oh,

Speaker 1 we didn't even talk about Diddy. We haven't talked about Diddy on this podcast.
And do we have to? Maybe not. Maybe we don't.

Speaker 1 What's this? What's rapists? But the thing, okay, this is what I think we can say about Diddy.

Speaker 1 When you really look back at like making the band and you really look back at all of the media that we have of him, pretty much everything,

Speaker 1 it's kind of shocking that no question was was asked about the way he treated anyone in his orbit. Because it was like exclusively abusive and totalitarian.

Speaker 1 But his version of, he's an abusive narcissist, which might feel like it's a redundant thing, but it's like

Speaker 1 he was always very good at

Speaker 1 the image. And

Speaker 1 of course, if you watch any isolated episode of Making the Band, you're like, fuck, that's a monster. But then like

Speaker 1 after this club shooting that JLo was at, it's like that's that's another crazy thing.

Speaker 1 After that club shooting and after he was acquitted because he had fucking Johnny Cochran on on the horn like yeah he

Speaker 1 really like cleaned up the PR he like took years off cleaned up the PR changed his name to Diddy from Puff Daddy like he was always really good at like shifting the perception.

Speaker 1 You know, and even when even last year when like, you know, Cassie filed the complaint and the and the civil suit, suit like he was denied deny deny and then the video came out of him in the towel like chasing after her and beating the shit out of her that was when that video came out he he goes on live or he just releases some front-facing video being like I take full responsibility

Speaker 1 I've listened to a lot of podcasts about narcissists in the past couple years and just trying to understand this behavior and it's anything they can do in a moment to get to shirk responsibility or to just like another tactic is I'm going to say out loud the thing that's wrong about myself so that I can claim it as a victim narrative and no one can say it about me.

Speaker 1 Right. Like these people, when they're put into a corner, it's not always the Trump thing of like, you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong.

Speaker 1 There's other, also another narcissistic tactic, which is I'm going to make myself seem like such a pathetic victim and like say all this stuff about myself so that actually everyone else is rendered speechless speechless because i've already said it they have no intent on actually changing but they need everyone to know that they're aware because wouldn't it be crazy if they weren't that's like another tactic that you see how

Speaker 1 i was gonna connect a dot to housewives but it feels

Speaker 1 appropriate

Speaker 1 Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's giving that, right? I think that. But it's insane to compare her to Diddy.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, no, but I do think like, I actually, I have felt pretty triggered because you see all these like narcissists getting away with everything. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like, I'm sorry, but you watched the Super Bowl the other night. Trump comes out to all of this applause and all of this fanfare while the world gets expeditiously worse by the second.

Speaker 1 And then you watch like all the commercials and it's like Casey Affleck's back in a Super Bowl commercial and like Tom Cruise is still Tom Cruise. Like he's not the figurehead of a cult.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? It's like, it's very frustrating. And then I turned to the room and I was like, this this is kind of crazy.
Right. And someone was like, straight white men are back.

Speaker 1 They're back. And then there was that Bud Light commercial.

Speaker 1 The overcorrection there is wild. Right.
It's a lot. It's like, okay, we really are making a big pivot back to like, not just a conservative mindset, but like a truly.

Speaker 1 like fuck off to anyone that's tried to make us feel badly for being who we are as straight white men. It's like, that wasn't even what happened.

Speaker 1 All we wanted was like for there to be some accountability about the pain that's been caused by a straight white man only ideology for this long. Like they're just upset that people have a voice now.

Speaker 1 And so it's like, that was one thing, but then it was like when the media included people and tried to make everyone feel included in like a, you know, consumerist way, that's when they really had had enough.

Speaker 1 Sure. Yeah.
Like you can't be in our Bud Light commercials. Yeah.
Not Bud Light. Right.
Well, they're back. No, they're back.
It's awesome. So what happens now to Lost Cult?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I can't tell.

Speaker 1 I think Jillian Michaels is third co-host vibes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 She would tear. We absolutely slay the house down boots with Megan Kelly.

Speaker 1 The Red Scare Girls were on Megan Kelly. Oh, great.
They were having martinis and talking about the election.

Speaker 1 What kind of martinis? I wonder. I don't know.
I think they were having martinis. I think that was the part of it that I pulled.

Speaker 1 I was like, are they fucking drinking martinis and talking about state of the world?

Speaker 1 Anyways, what part of you is afraid right now? Oh, a huge part. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, right now, in even talking about all this. And talking about it right now.
Not existentially. I just mean like when you get on the mic and talk about this types of stuff.

Speaker 1 I don't think like no one's going to like

Speaker 1 come knocking on our door because it's like they're not worried about us. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 They were never worried about us. And we've never been like

Speaker 1 warriors in that sense. I've never been a warrior.
I'm a gay guy that likes to like have sex during the day. Totally.
But when are they going to come for us with that? I know.

Speaker 1 But that's the, like, gay guys who have sex during the day literally don't threaten anything about

Speaker 1 like it doesn't concern them at all. So like there's no need, but they're going to want to come for that, but like, there's no need to, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 I think it's because they haven't done it yet. I'm telling you.
The other day, like, I had such incredible sex during the day with a gay guy.

Speaker 1 And I was like, this is the key.

Speaker 1 This is like the key is for people to just understand, like, while you're out here wreaking havoc from a government perspective, you could be getting it from behind on the floor

Speaker 1 during the day. That's how you know it's real.
I'm just saying. Hardwood.
Okay, got it.

Speaker 1 Carpeted

Speaker 1 took the comforter off the bed, threw it on the ground,

Speaker 1 and pointed to the floor. You did that? No, he did that.

Speaker 1 I said, This is exactly right. Kennel vibes.
I even said, I know that's right.

Speaker 1 Out loud.

Speaker 1 Can you imagine if after every position changed during gay sex,

Speaker 1 you win the button? I know that's right.

Speaker 1 Me on the floor.

Speaker 1 I know that's right.

Speaker 1 Me getting into the butt. I know that's right.

Speaker 1 Me opening the door to trade coming in.

Speaker 1 We don't have a minute to spare.

Speaker 1 Don't bring her into this.

Speaker 1 We need love.

Speaker 1 Sometimes this podcast is just for me and you in a way where I'm like, how are people listening to it? And then so many people do.

Speaker 1 Because there's going to be people that exactly know the reference when you say, we don't have a minute to spare.

Speaker 1 And the people know that reference in part because of you. I'm not giving any credit.
I'm just saying, like, you introduced me to Brooke Ashley. I spotlight the right people.

Speaker 1 Oh, and I am a faithful Brooke Ashley watcher. Every episode.
Every episode.

Speaker 1 I have been, I have had a harder time sitting through the live reactions to all the Housewives episodes that she's had because they tend to be long. This takes a long time.

Speaker 1 And you have to get with a lot of people. And I think she's a very talented editor.
I think she's very good at just cutting together a nice 40-minute recap.

Speaker 1 You know, speaking of housewives recaps, I have a very bad feeling about your girl, Stacey Rush, at the Potomac reunion. Explain.
Did you see the preview for it?

Speaker 1 I saw the preview that they played at the finale, but no. It is alleged that she paid TJ all season to be her boyfriend.
I've heard that. And that he finally is like, she hasn't paid me.

Speaker 1 I'm not coming to the fucking reunion. It was all fake.
How are you going to deal with that if it's true? Which it looks like.

Speaker 1 I think that's iconic.

Speaker 1 Stacey Rush is a perfect housewife.

Speaker 1 They've even said in the vulture recaps that she is an alpha. Oh, no, I'm sorry.
She's an Apex Predator housewife in the making.

Speaker 1 The way she came, she went after Karen and Giselle by the end of the season.

Speaker 1 I know that's right. But put the comforter on the floor because I know that's right.
I'm taking it in the butt from that. I'm taking it in the butt from that, from Stacey Rush.

Speaker 1 She is the most, I mean, this is the thing. It's a, it's a lookism thing.
It's like, she's so beautiful that I don't care what she does. Wow.
Okay. So you, you don't care.

Speaker 1 If it comes to light that she paid this actress. Is that the worst thing anyone can do, by the way? That's not a morally wrong thing.
It's explicitly

Speaker 1 not your reality. But is that not a new.
I love watching you swim upstream. I'm not swimming upstream.

Speaker 1 I think you'll agree agree with me. Is that like new achievement unlocked? Like, we have not seen a housewife do that.
That's an iconic novel housewife behavior.

Speaker 1 Paying for some random, insane man, because he is crazy. Yeah, that's another thing: his behavior.

Speaker 1 Now that we know it's probably fake, his behavior is like even wilder because did he think he was going to book as a result of

Speaker 1 this on-camera activity? You look wacko, sir. You're a wacko jacko, and he

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 is that not amazing for a housewife to do that.

Speaker 1 Yes. He comes in on 15 out of 20.
Like with AJ, her, her friend. Yes, yes, yes.
And then he was like,

Speaker 1 she doesn't want a problem. And so neither of us have a problem.
And we don't have a problem. And then he drags her away.
And she's like, you're, you're giving a lot of energy. You're being alive.

Speaker 1 And he was like, I just wanted some time with you. I wanted time with you.
He is. He looks so beautiful.
And I'm so happy to be here tonight. It's like so clear that it it's saved

Speaker 1 when you look back but it's like she got more than she bargained for she got more than she bargained for but that is a new that's something and i'm i'm being genuine here i'm not i'm not like being gymnastic about this it's like she is

Speaker 1 so interesting can i tell you what i think is going to happen yes i think robin's coming back and i'm not mad about it i keep taking these l's do you look at it as an l yes she's bad on tv no i don't think she is i actually liked robin on traders on traders sure.

Speaker 1 I'm willing to burn this with Robin. Really? Why won't you burn it? Where was that from again? That's Salt Lake City.
Oh, Salt Lake. I want to burn this.
Lisa, fucking Marlowe.

Speaker 1 Why won't you burn it? Lisa, why won't you burn it? She comes over to the other couch. Burn it.
Burn it. Burn it.
No,

Speaker 1 I was ready to burn it with Giselle, and then she goes

Speaker 1 went ahead and showed her ass. She made it two-person.
Irredeemable. I'm sorry.
I would say Giselle, it's a no. I'm interested in Robin Dixon.
Listen,

Speaker 1 I think it would be interesting to have her come back in light of all the Karen stuff. Especially if Karen ends up going to jail.
Do you think she's going to go to jail? There's a high chance.

Speaker 1 There's a non-zero chance. There's a not even a non-zero chance.

Speaker 1 There is a definition. There is a definite chance in the words of Madame Moribal.

Speaker 1 Definite chance is my favorite thing. You said it twice a day at least in front of me.
There is a definish chance.

Speaker 1 If you work as you should,

Speaker 1 you'll be making

Speaker 1 good. That is literally my message to Robin.
There's a definite chance if you work as you should, you'll be making good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because I think Robin, this is the thing.

Speaker 1 You kind of have to look back at the whole thing with different eyes now that we found out that there's the stuff with Karen is so deep and dark. What does that have to do with Robin?

Speaker 1 Robin was always on Karen's ass. Right.

Speaker 1 And Karen acts like, and I love Karen Hughes. We love Karen Hughes.
But she's acted like bigger and better than all of it for such a long time. Right.

Speaker 1 And then all of a sudden looming, there's this like darkness, which, you know, she wasn't. Well, but she's always been so obsessed with the etiquette and what's, what's Potomac and what's not Potomac.

Speaker 1 The etiquette obsession is so funny to me. Well, it's, it does belie

Speaker 1 this thing that she has nothing figured out in her life.

Speaker 1 That like.

Speaker 1 Ray never fucking paid his taxes or whatever. And like she, there was a man, another man with her in the car that night.
Do we believe that that's true? I think that might be true.

Speaker 1 But this is all, this is all, you know, we need Wendy Williams more than ever. So apparently she's, she's done that interview where she, where people are like, she sounds normal.

Speaker 1 I think that's a hard thing to say. It's so hard to say.
About anyone in any like, because she also has a diagnosis. Right.

Speaker 1 So it's like people that struggle with, you know, any sort of, I don't even know how

Speaker 1 cognitive like situation, you're gonna have good days and bad days. So I get the entire internet being like, see, look, she's fine.
It's like, I don't know, she got a diagnosis from a doctor.

Speaker 1 We've also seen her being very not fine. Right, right, right.
So I think people should continue to let the professionals weigh in on what Wendy should or should not be doing.

Speaker 1 Thank you for saying that, by the way. Well, I'm a doctor.
Well, but I presented something that

Speaker 1 Jordan, Doug, are you all laughing? He laughed at me when I said I was a doctor.

Speaker 1 I have four degrees.

Speaker 1 It's only four degrees. I only have one degree.

Speaker 1 I know. I had a census worker call me

Speaker 1 and she,

Speaker 1 for some reason, the way she said, and you have

Speaker 1 one bachelor's degree. Yes.
And I said, uh-huh. For some reason, it sounded like a dig.
And you have, let me look here. Oh, it's easy to count because it's just one bachelor's degree.

Speaker 1 It's easy to count. Bachelor of

Speaker 1 Arts in Chemistry.

Speaker 1 That's interesting. NYU.
Okay, now I understand. That makes sense.
So one bachelor's of arts in chemistry.

Speaker 1 It says here, just looking at your extracurriculars. Danger box improv.

Speaker 1 Very good, fun improv group. That's very good, fun improv group.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 yep, I guess I've heard all I need to hear as the census.

Speaker 1 Hangs up the phone. One idiot.

Speaker 1 Useless idiot. Waste of money.
Fag.

Speaker 1 Gay guy that I call a faggot.

Speaker 1 Where are we on the word faggot? Because I'm embracing it. As you can see, I've used it several times.

Speaker 1 Is it a thing where our friends over at Stradio Lab have said reclaiming an insult is, which I don't think faggot applies. They'll say anything.
And I see something about Stradio Lab.

Speaker 1 They'll say anything.

Speaker 1 They just want clicks. No.
You could never be lost culture.

Speaker 1 Period. Well,

Speaker 1 I predict a rise in that slur being used, just in a more general way. Oh, certainly.
Certainly. Well, straight white men being so back.
Right.

Speaker 1 You can bet your bottom dollar that you're going to hear the word faggot. I hear it's happening in the Austin comedy scene a lot.
I have people on the ground. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And tell them to go to Oil Can Harry's. And,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 you can call someone a faggot if you've if you've had an anal fissure i wouldn't wish that on anybody i if you've experienced anal pain in such a crazy apocalyptic way like every gay man has yeah you can use that word remember yesterday what

Speaker 1 i went to the bathroom to pee came out of the bathroom and i was like ah because i had like a sudden insane pain in my butthole remember that yeah i am the transparent one on this show i'm I'm transparent.

Speaker 1 Say something transparent. Oh my god.

Speaker 1 I am, I shave. I shaved.
I did a full pube shave for the first time in months. Because a man asked you to? No, because I was like, it's, I'm getting, I gotta whack the weeds.

Speaker 1 Imagine a man like rolling over and being like, that was great.

Speaker 1 Next time, I, I just, or for me, my preference is that you shave everything.

Speaker 1 Kiss me.

Speaker 1 So good, babe. Oh, you like to be a little spoon or big spoon? Nice.
I like to be big.

Speaker 1 I gotta say. Feel good.
Feel good. You feel even better hairless.

Speaker 1 Spooning.

Speaker 1 How do we feel? It's always good for five, ten minutes.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 five and ten seems like a liberal sort of allotment of time.

Speaker 1 Because you know what happens when you spoon. Okay, this is what you...

Speaker 1 No, this is unfortunately what happens when spooning works too well. Uh-oh.
And I'm going to reveal this. And the person that this is about listens to this podcast and is going to know.

Speaker 1 And no one acknowledged this one had happened, but I am acknowledging it now.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I hook up with someone while I'm on tour.

Speaker 1 I know this person well. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So we sort of have like a, like a friend slash sex relationship.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 have sex, great, wonderful.

Speaker 1 And then afterwards, he's Big Spoon. Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 And it actually was good, Big Spoon, where you actually could sleep like that. Really? But unfortunately,

Speaker 1 it was just good. We just like had good puzzle pieces.
But bed chem. It was

Speaker 1 puzzle.

Speaker 1 Sabrina, come on the podcast. I'm so serious.
It's, but it's, you're saying it's, it was good puzzle pieces. It was really good puzzle pieces.

Speaker 1 We had bed chem and I was feeling like, oh, I actually could fall asleep with this man holding Amazing. Lovely.

Speaker 1 No risk of any relationship here. He's in a relationship, et cetera.

Speaker 1 So I go into that dream state of like, where you're like half asleep, half whatever.

Speaker 1 And when you're being held like that and you have sense memory to a time when being held like that, you were in a relationship.

Speaker 1 I half asleep. He shifted a little bit.
And I kind of went back and I kissed him and I said, I love you.

Speaker 1 And this is

Speaker 1 him. This This was in a stupor.
It was in a stupor. And I literally, I'm not in love with this person.
I don't, I do love this person. I care for them.
We have sex, but I don't. The way I saw it

Speaker 1 is because I was somewhere else. I think I honestly got triggered to a time when

Speaker 1 I was in love with the man that held me. And so

Speaker 1 I go, love you. I love you.

Speaker 1 It's fully three words because love you is different than I love you. I love you.

Speaker 1 I fully say I love you. I feel him go,

Speaker 1 I feel it kind of like a shift. And then I lay down.
And now I'm like wide awake because I'm like, oh, fuck. Like, I just like.
That woke you up or the shift woke you up? It was like the shift.

Speaker 1 And then I love you. And then his like little like moment.
I could have gone right back to bed because I was in half remote. But I was like, oh, no.
I just said I love you to this guy.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's so bad. And I just played dead.

Speaker 1 And then it was fine. And we never talked about it until now.
And I.

Speaker 1 So you, so this this is the first time you're bringing it up after, after the moment, after the incident.

Speaker 1 I almost said something right in the moment, but I thought like, I almost,

Speaker 1 because like, you know, when 20 seconds passed and then 25 and then 30. And now it's too late.
The window's closed. I could have just been like, hey,

Speaker 1 I said I love you. I don't mean it.

Speaker 1 I do, but like, you know, and he would have been like, it's fine.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 window is always open.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's out there now. It's out there now.
The The window's open. So, okay, so, and he listens and you think

Speaker 1 religiously. He will, okay, he will receive that.
I will receive a DM. That's great.
And I think it's great. That's great.
Unless he doesn't remember. Which that's also fine.

Speaker 1 But I guess now he's being reminded.

Speaker 1 I don't love any of you that I fuck once. Can I just say, like, that's not, like, I think the earliest I've said it is after

Speaker 1 three times.

Speaker 1 After three times, that was the soonest you had said I loved you. I love you.
Yeah. But have you had sex with this person more than three times? This person? Yes.

Speaker 1 I've had sex with like three or four times. So then you, then you're.
But it was a mistake.

Speaker 1 I've said I love you one time for real,

Speaker 1 which was a horrible mistake that I made after like, after three times once, and it was, it was too soon.

Speaker 1 But you live, you learn. You live.

Speaker 1 You learn.

Speaker 1 Well, thanks for sharing that, by the way. Well, I'm the transparent one.
I don't.

Speaker 1 You're the combative one you're the combative one is what you are and so you wield i am the heart of this podcast you yeah absolutely you are the soul i don't know about that what are you i don't know what i'm giving i really don't know what i'm giving i love this topic i love this what do you mean you don't know what you're giving i'm back you know what it is i'm back in a moment of like it's just Okay, one thing onto the next, onto the next.

Speaker 1 I've done like four cross-country flights in two weeks. I literally barely know where I am.
This is dark echoes of like the hard moments of shooting. Do you actually feel that way? A little bit.

Speaker 1 Well, I'm like, I don't think I've ever been funny or I've ever been like, it's like, it's no, and I know you're rolling your eyes and, but this is the thing that just like anyone who like works professionally in comedy, like feels.

Speaker 1 I understand. It's a universal feeling.
And so like, that's not, I'm not like hard on myself. And you can draw the line to fatigue.
Yes.

Speaker 1 But again, so uninteresting to talk about that on this podcast. And I, and I really have tried not to talk about this.
I don't think it's uninteresting at all.

Speaker 1 But I talk, there was a moment on the podcast where I was talking about it a lot and people were like,

Speaker 1 oh, being tired. Being tired.
But that's different than like

Speaker 1 my perception of myself is in flux and affected because I am so busy, which you could draw a line to success. And, but, but that is like, it's getting fuzzy for you.

Speaker 1 And I don't, I don't connect it to success at all.

Speaker 1 But the reason why you're traveling so much is because that's what i'm saying is because there's just things to be at for the next couple months right

Speaker 1 when will that end

Speaker 1 april april is when like april's when like the award stuff is done and like

Speaker 1 i'm back on a regular schedule at snl like that's so the oscars isn't like the finish line for i think oscars is the finish line but then after oscars like there's more stuff

Speaker 1 you and i might have to talk about a trip oh right yeah but that's fun that's fun it's it just but right now my brain is only registering it as like another place to be at we'll reframe that later totally bone and i want to go to berlin i'm still coasting on the japan trip like i'm still like in a such a positive thing such a positive thing and like i will hold on to that for the rest of my life like a friend was asking me about it the other night and i just like even just in recounting it i just got emotional again just talking about the pokemon plane and talking about the food i ate and all these things and the wrestling new japan pro wrestling oh my god

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Speaker 1 And then I'm going to go with you to the Academy Awards.

Speaker 1 Do you think that we'll have like pretty good seats? I mean, I hope so. It's also, it doesn't matter.
It's just going to be. You took our bestie, Jared, to the Critics' Choice Awards.

Speaker 1 And if you know, you know, he was in the front. We were front and center, aligned with the microphone.
It was unreal. Oh my God.
We got to meet the whole substance team, the producers.

Speaker 1 Tell them what they said. They listened to the episode.

Speaker 1 I think maybe the pop, I mean, like, publicists are out in full force, literally in the, in the professional sense and in the lost culture sense. Like,

Speaker 1 I mean, it was very nice to connect with some of you,

Speaker 1 all of you, really. Like, it's fun.
Like, we're all just talking about movies that we like. That's just, that's just what it is.

Speaker 1 All we wanted was to meet more on the podcast, but we don't think it can work. We don't think it can work, but we got to meet Coralie.
That's so cool.

Speaker 1 Got to meet Margaret and Jack. And

Speaker 1 Margaret and Jack. Doesn't get bigger than that for me.
Ultimates. And it was so fun.
You know who was connecting with Jared? Who? With Cynthia.

Speaker 1 I heard about this.

Speaker 1 Cynthia and Jared were connecting a lot because anytime they would roll the nominees' packages, these are two people who have the same media diet, apparently, because they'd be like, I love that show.

Speaker 1 Or that was an amazing short. Oh, that documentary was like, these are just two people who've seen everything.
Jared told me that he was like, Sing Sing, my favorite movie of the year.

Speaker 1 And that Cynthia went, Sing Sing is my favorite movie of the year.

Speaker 1 It's absolutely my favorite movie of the year. Really good on Cynthia.
Lauren. Lauren.
Madam.

Speaker 1 Cynthia Rippo.

Speaker 1 He'd love that. He'd love that.
John M. Chu winning Best Director.
That was so great. Just to explain, because people seem to have

Speaker 1 comments about this.

Speaker 1 Orlando Bloom, who presented the award, pointed out that in the past, I think, since Argo, so that's like the past 12 years,

Speaker 1 every director who's won the critic's choice for best director has gone on to win best director at the Oscars. And we say since Argo because

Speaker 1 Ben Akhab was famously snubbed for the nomination for

Speaker 1 the

Speaker 1 Oscar. For best director, yes, yes.

Speaker 1 So, this is the first time, because every single year since that director has won the Oscars, and now John is not nominated for the Oscar, but John, John was snubbed for the Oscar. Snubbed.

Speaker 1 And so, when he took the stage and won, with that information sort of top of mind for everybody, he said, I'm going to win that Oscar. And it was clearly a joke.

Speaker 1 He looked handsome as hell. So handsome.
Did not have his speech prepared, did not have his phone with him. Off the cuff, off the dome, gave the best speech of the night.

Speaker 1 I think off the cuff is the way to do it. Absolutely.
It's real. It's like, he just started with the words, I've always loved telling stories.
And it just went from there.

Speaker 1 And then he talked about being at his parents' restaurant, comfort, food, or comfort prices,

Speaker 1 talking about like spending his days just like writing and drawing at the restaurant while he was just trying to like get through the day.

Speaker 1 And it just reminded me of like all the times that like I would, I would just like make up stories like at Chinese school when I was like waiting for my parents to finish up.

Speaker 1 Like it's just, it it just like dug up this thing in me where I was like, God, this is just what we, this is just what everybody in that room wants to do.

Speaker 1 And he told the most radical story of the year to me in like this mythic fantasy setting.

Speaker 1 Like, there's a lot of great, interesting, subversive stuff this year at the Oscars, but I feel like wicked is this Trojan horse of a thing where it's like about

Speaker 1 and whatever, like anti-fascism, racism, and like careerism and like all these things that like is such a huge accessible container for everybody that like i it's pretty incredible and i say this as someone who like i have i have said i have just enough of an objective like p of on this not objective but like i'm obviously biased but i just think like i love that movie so much

Speaker 1 even when i can easily forget that i'm involved i'm just like that's such a great fucking movie has he said anything to you guys about wicked for good like yeah what is they're still in the edit okay so no trailer to super bowl unfortunately sorry y'all they just want to get it right but they've been busy with the stuff.

Speaker 1 So like, it's the timeline is just.

Speaker 1 The dance card has been full.

Speaker 1 When did the wicked teaser trailer come out? Was it Super Bowl? It was Super Bowl last year. I see.
So people were expecting it this year. But it will be great.

Speaker 1 Do you think that Cynthia and Ariana will continue to do pink and green all the way through? Or do you think they'll shift to a darker vibe because it's a darker film?

Speaker 1 I think they'll shift to a darker film. I think Ari's going to start working some blue in, as we've seen.

Speaker 1 Or not, not as we've seen on the red carpets, but like she... And they've already started to move away from pink and green.

Speaker 1 um, but yes, I've noticed that one of Glenda's dresses in Forgood is blue, as we've seen from those photos. You've seen those photos.
I don't know if I have. What scene is that from?

Speaker 1 It's another, um, I think it's another Munchkin Land scene where she's with Fiero. And I think people have like clocked those stills.

Speaker 1 And you have no knowledge of the new song that Cynthia wrote for Forgood? I don't. Honest to God's truth, I don't.
Why did you look away from me?

Speaker 1 I just, for me, as someone who studies body language, because I've been studying a lot of Justin Beldoni, Blake Lively, body language, I noticed that when you said,

Speaker 1 honest to God, I don't, you looked all the way up here. I was looking to, I was looking at thy camera and I was addressing the listener, Regis Katie's Help us as Coloss Finalist.

Speaker 1 Honest to God. Honest to God, I don't.
And I really, like, what do you want me to say?

Speaker 1 Sing the song. I don't know the song.
Sing Cynthia's song. I don't know what it's going to be.
I'm trying to think where it's going to come in. I don't know.
I really don't know.

Speaker 1 I can't wait for No Good Deed. Oh, I mean, No Good Deed.
I can't wait for March of the Witch Hunters because that song goes off. Are you in that? No.

Speaker 1 So what can you say about Fanny's role? What can you tease for us about what Fanny gets out to a wicked farmer? So Fanny and Shenshin

Speaker 1 have

Speaker 1 seen their

Speaker 1 worldview sort of pay off, which is we just want status. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And that's all I'll say. Do you think that their fall will be precipitous?

Speaker 1 I think their fall will be maybe quite literal. Oh my God.

Speaker 1 I can't wait to see how this turns out. To see how this turns out.

Speaker 1 You know, they're saying Anora is going to win best picture in the world. Wait, that's the favorite after DJA and PG.
Yep. And I'm all for it.
Down for it. Down for it.
Although,

Speaker 1 I don't know. There's a case to be made about, I am just speaking to reputable people about this.
Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 And there's a case to be made because voting opened up this week for Oscars. There's a case to be made about because the news has been so awful.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Something might motivate people to vote for like the feel-good, but still politically relevant movie in Wicked.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean, I don't think it's out of it.
It's not out of it.

Speaker 1 Especially with the John Chu win at Critics' Choice. I think that there's the John Chu win at Critic's Choice.
I think the SAG Awards are still coming up.

Speaker 1 I think that the predictions were that you guys would take SAG Ensemble. But now I don't, you know what I thought was going to happen?

Speaker 1 I thought maybe Producer's Guild was going to go to a complete unknown just because it's like a lot of

Speaker 1 Bob Dylan fans. Yeah.
Let's say. But I just don't think that movie's that great.
And I think that Anora now feels like they were saying with ranked choice voting, it feels like nobody hates Anora. No.

Speaker 1 Whereas like every other movie,

Speaker 1 even if they have a lot of love, there's like a lot of hatred. So like the way that you win best picture Oscar is if you get ranked two or three on everyone's ballot, you're going to win.

Speaker 1 Is that the Green Book effect, you think sort of yeah yeah it's like a movie that people well because people kind of hated green book

Speaker 1 but by the end after voting it closed you know yeah well it's like it kind of became the villain late right so it was maybe too late whereas amelia perez that film has become the villain quite early

Speaker 1 and it's like sort of doomed but a nora If it's not people's number one, it's probably people's two, three, or four. And that's enough.
Because everything else is super polarizing.

Speaker 1 It's, it's Raider Queen. Yeah, it's Raider Queen.
It's Raider Queen rules this year. It's Raider Queen rules at the Oscars.
I want to ask you about, because you brought it up. Me? Yes.

Speaker 1 Blake and Baldoni. Oh.
Because we kind of touched on this on the Sarah episode. I mean, $400 million

Speaker 1 on top of the $250 million in your time. My bet that whole week was.

Speaker 1 So sorry. I have to take those texts.
My husband and I are being sued for $400 million.

Speaker 1 I actually only have about 15 minutes. My husband and I are being sued for $400 million.

Speaker 1 Can we actually do lunch at two? I have something from 12 to 1. It's a long story.
My husband and I are being sued for $400 million.

Speaker 1 That's really, see, that's a great sort of enunciation

Speaker 1 elocution. Yeah.
I mean,

Speaker 1 things were going really great.

Speaker 1 Tom's car got up to the vision and flipped over and flipped over a few times. I don't even know that.
It's like, yeah, it's been a lot. Yeah, it's been a lot.

Speaker 1 My husband and I are being sued for $40,000. Can I ask him? Can I ask?

Speaker 1 You can ask anything. I am so deep on this.

Speaker 1 I'm so deep on this. It seems like the prevailing story is that they're both bad.
I think that that is coming to light. Like there's certainly been bad behavior on both sides.
Sure.

Speaker 1 But I am tending to side with Blake in this situation for the most part because the Belldoni stuff is like.

Speaker 1 Like he is like suing like his old publicist now for like releasing the text to the Times and like there's just it seems like there's more stuff.

Speaker 1 There's more tracks being like covered up on the Bell Doni side than there are on the million lawsuits now flying around for so much money. It's so insane.
The New York Times is involved.

Speaker 1 All these PR firms are involved, etc.

Speaker 1 It's truly a story of just rich people being how dark, like the way Hollywood works. It's like it's because here's here's the real truth.

Speaker 1 You can be an asshole. It's not against the law.
No. What's against the law is, you know, paying people in order to bury someone, defamation, sexual harassment on set.

Speaker 1 Like this type of thing is like against the law.

Speaker 1 So he can prove a million ways to Sunday that she's a fucking asshole. Right.
But that's not against the law. But it's not against the law.

Speaker 1 And so basically he may have to pay based on stuff that like, I'm sorry, but Megan Tooie, a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist at the New York Times, like pretty much proved in that piece. Right.

Speaker 1 And he can sue them or whatever, but like

Speaker 1 you can't really dispute the fact that he paid extremely extremely expensive publicists to destroy her. Right.
And that it worked. It worked.

Speaker 1 And I think what he is kind of violently retaliating against is this image that he's built up of himself as being this like feminist and like this advocate for women.

Speaker 1 Which I think if that's true or bullshit or whatever, it kind of doesn't matter like in the eyes of the law. Right.

Speaker 1 Because even if she was a total asshole and asserted her control over this movie and like, you know, brought her quote-unquote dragons in, which by the way, if you read the way that this woman texts, oh my God, it's, it's wild.

Speaker 1 And, but, but she- You're talking about the Pebble stuff. Talking about Blake Lively.
Blake. Uh-huh.
Like, but she can do all that stuff.

Speaker 1 She can assert control over the movie. She can swing her dick.
She can bring in her famous friends. She can have her husband get involved in all this stuff.
Like, it's not against the law. Exactly.

Speaker 1 The way that he acted probably was against the law.

Speaker 1 So.

Speaker 1 Okay. Thank you.
Because I'm going kind of crazy being like, Well, they're both awful.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, Well, but one is well, that the thing is, like, they, I mean, I think at this point, especially because they keep digging in and they clearly want to go to trial, this is an ego thing and it's ugly all around.

Speaker 1 And I don't know necessarily where all of their careers go after this. I'm sure in some respect they'll kind of be fine.
Yes.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 you can say to like, he contacted his PR and said, you know, let's turn the narrative against her in such a crazy way that like we bury her and destroy her.

Speaker 1 And you can bring up all this stuff of her being a little bit of a jerk to these, you know, journalists, like, you know, saying this kind of thing.

Speaker 1 Like there's an old video of her talking about how she did blackface, et cetera. Like it's like, you can unearth all of this stuff.
You're not proving that she is a criminal. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're just not. You're proving that she is

Speaker 1 an actress with a big ego. It's not a criminal, Susan.
No. No.

Speaker 1 but I guess what I'm saying is like it's like a liability, the legality of it all.

Speaker 1 And it's like, I think while he may be winning the thing about public opinion about her, he'll probably still end up paying. Right.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 I'm glad it's made its way to Lost Culture. I loved it, I will say, the Chelsea Handler joke that I liked the most was like, I think we're all very, but something.
She said, like,

Speaker 1 we're good. We're good.
Yeah. Because that's another thing: it's like, when people are so hell-bent on

Speaker 1 like they seem really sure that everyone cares.

Speaker 1 And I will say, I really didn't until it was the only thing in entertainment news.

Speaker 1 And it's such a sell from all the rest of the dark shit happening in the world that it's kind of just like, all right, let's see what's going on with this Blake and Justin thing.

Speaker 1 And all of a sudden, you're sucked in. But you're saying that window is closed very quickly because now you don't care anymore.
It's not even that I don't care.

Speaker 1 It's kind of the thing of like, it's very, well, let's see how this turns out because now because if it goes to trial of course i care right how do you like bring that to

Speaker 1 bring it back to the fire like how do you bring that level of like attention to like something that actually is well how about the fact that they were filing these lawsuits while the fires were happening

Speaker 1 just to just to show like that the focus is so on them and that the egos are so out of control that this is literally going down and those things are being filed in the court of law like

Speaker 1 while everything was going down yeah but it's yeah it's so brutal it is it's so sad that like that's the that takes up air totally but i mean like it's kind of always been like that i know i know and here's what i'll say is good the fact that you can even make that distinction now and us on our platform can be like isn't it wild how distracted we all are easily by by what is essentially bullshit

Speaker 1 even if it's a big deal to them and it's a big deal you know to some people in a real way like at least we can can be able to say like we see yeah how easily distracted the media is and like i don't know it's all pretty silly like i i hate that i know that his production company is called wayfarer now and that's just information that's in my brain yeah it's so close to wayfair the furniture brand yeah the furniture brand yeah he should have thought it well this just made me think my my um loan out company has a bad name and i'm like i need to change it in case i ever get into legal dingo dingus dinkum dingo dinkum dingo australian thing what's yours oh you're you know yours yours is great.

Speaker 1 Basic instincts. Basic instincts.
So funny.

Speaker 1 So good. I like my loan out.
You've got a great loan out. Dinkum Dingo.
I was just like, I can't come up with anything. It's two Australian words.
Put it in. I think Dinkum Dingo is great.

Speaker 1 But if it was like Dinkum Dingo's, you know,

Speaker 1 like Dinkum Dingo filed a complaint against, it's like, that sounds so stupid. Do you want to start a production company with me? Yes.
What should we call it?

Speaker 1 Like, do we want it to have like a serious sounding name? It should be called Twins Are Fighting Again?

Speaker 1 Gemini.

Speaker 1 I'm meeting with Gemini Entertainment.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 apparently that's the Google AI name. I was like, we need to get on these names, y'all, because sometimes they snatch up the, it's like, it's like, you know, getting a handle.

Speaker 1 You got to snatch it up quick. Totally.
What should it be called? Corridor.

Speaker 1 Looking at your sweater. Yeah, this is a good place to start.
But what's something we both love? Mariah Kelly Gaga. Mariah Kelly Gaga.

Speaker 1 Like it's a gay kid screen name in like 2008.

Speaker 1 Mariah Kelly Gaga. Wait, I've told you.
This is so revealing of myself.

Speaker 1 Your ASL screen name is Casey. No, what is it? A-L-L screen name.
Your AIM screen name. My AIM screen name was.

Speaker 1 Kelly Clarkson.

Speaker 1 Wasn't it? Yeah. When I was little, it was M-A-R-O-T-C-K

Speaker 1 779. And you're going to scream when you find out what T stood for.

Speaker 1 T stood for Tranice.

Speaker 1 Tranice from season two of American Idol, number five?

Speaker 1 No, she was number six. She was fifth place.

Speaker 1 Because it was Tranice, then Kimberly Clark. No, no, Kimberly Clark was number three.

Speaker 1 Kimberly Locke was her name. I'm sorry, Kimberly.
I think you've messed up.

Speaker 1 Kimberly Locke got Facebook.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. So it was Tranice.
Then who was fourth? Tranice. And who was fourth on season two of America? Oh, God.
No, I don't know. Some guy.

Speaker 1 It definitely was some guy because I was like pissed. Because then it was first place was Ruben Stutter.
Second place was Clayton. Third was Timberlake.

Speaker 1 Fourth place. I forget who that was.
Yeah. But it wasn't Tranice.
No, Tranice was fifth. I remember.
Oh, was it Josh Grayson? That's disfamiliar. That's stupid.

Speaker 1 Remember Julia D'Amato?

Speaker 1 I was rooting for Julia DeMato the one. Julia D'Amato rocked.
She was like a single mom or something. And I was like, I want her to win.

Speaker 1 She was a single mom hairdresser from Long Island. Yes.
And she was very like the woman that I would go in to say hi to my mom at work. And she'd be like, oh, hey, you're so handsome.

Speaker 1 I've told you that my mom had really good relationships with everyone at her hair salon, including Lex, who first cut my hair into a crew cut and turned me around to the mirror and said, you look like a marine.

Speaker 1 And there was one nasty queen who my mom was in a feud with at work and you're gonna die when i tell you who it was who the nail girl bernadette

Speaker 1 well i don't like her

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Next. Okay, good choice.

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Yeah, like Aruba, St. Lucia, and Curaçao.
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Speaker 1 Yeah, hello, Glenn Close. And of course, you need a villain, so say hello to Sarah Paulson as the nemesis.

Speaker 1 And these ladies are brilliant, complicated, fearless, and when they all come together, nothing can stop them. I'm talking about the lawyers on the show and the actresses playing them, by the way.

Speaker 1 But hey, if you're thinking this will be all courtroom drama and no drama drama, relax. Allura, that's Kim's character, has plenty of twists and turns in her personal life.

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Speaker 1 All right. Well, it's time to wrap it up.
This is I Don't Think So Honey.

Speaker 1 And this is where we take 60 seconds to talk about something in culture that has messed us up. And I'm ready.
This is Matt Rogers. I don't think so, honey.
It's time starts now.

Speaker 1 I don't think so, honey, the nail girl Bernadette, who years ago did not invite my mother to her wedding. They worked in the same salon, Ecstasia, in Lindenhurst, New York.

Speaker 1 It was a community-driven place where women came to get gorgeous. And so with these vibes, over at the nail station, Bernadette is being a gatekeeper at her wedding.

Speaker 1 She invited everyone, including the girls who were essentially interns there who just swept up the hair

Speaker 1 to her wedding. In the late 90s and not my mother.
Can you imagine not inviting Katrina to a party? No. What the do you have against my mother trina bernadette

Speaker 1 let me tell you something i better not catch you out here

Speaker 1 in whatever streets and you come up matthew it's so excited to see you so successful i'm bernadette i used to work with your mother i will

Speaker 1 end you five seconds wherever you're at

Speaker 1 let's go bernadette you didn't invite my mother to your wedding your wedding That was problem. That's one minute.
And fucking Bernadette, I'm sorry. We love that.

Speaker 1 We love every nail technician, but compared to Katrina, you're sitting down most of the day. No, she was nothing.
Katrina is on her feet. People are not going to Estasia and Lyndonhurst.

Speaker 1 For the nails. Sorry, Bernadette.
This is extra. This is no disrespect to all the nail techs out there, but this is a hair salon.
So know your place and know your role.

Speaker 1 Show some respect to Katrina clarities. Just understand your legacy

Speaker 1 is not that you're, I don't even know if you're still married, but either way, if you are, even if it's a successful marriage, in terms of lost coach metrics, your legacy is that you fucked up in the late 90s and didn't invite Katrina to your wedding.

Speaker 1 And I heard about it at home. The legacy is I'm forgetting your ass as soon as this episode is done.
He will. I won't.
I wish you all the best in life, Bernadette.

Speaker 1 I will not file you away in any drawer in my brain. That's going to be Boign Yang only.
I don't wish you well. And I'll remember you.

Speaker 1 I clearly do. I was a young, young gay kid, and you don't cross our mothers.

Speaker 1 First of all, your wedding is probably way boring because my mom absolutely tears it up to Love Shack, tears it up to all the wedding songs.

Speaker 1 Never Too Much, Never Too Much, Never Too Much. Love Shack is, yeah, that's up there to say nothing of shouts.

Speaker 1 Azalea Banks had a point the other day when she tweeted she wants to see Sam Smith sing Never Too Much by Luther. And then her fans were sort of dragging her, like, fuck you, Sam Smith.

Speaker 1 And she was like, no, no, no, you don't understand. Sam Smith like sings like no, Sam Smith can do it.
She called him White Luther.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 And that's our Azalea Banks mention of the episode. And this is Bowen Yang's I don't think so, honey.
You ready? Yep. His time starts now.
I don't think so, honey. Microsoft Teams.

Speaker 1 Is it a browser experience? Do I have to download the app? It's not clear based on the call to actions, based on the button. And when I get there, the view is paginated.

Speaker 1 I have to click and error to go see the other eight people on the meeting. And then if I mute, a pop-up, a persistent pop-up, no matter how many times you X out of it, pops up and says, you're muted.

Speaker 1 You're muted. Bitch, I know.
I'll press the spacebar when I have to speak out of respect for the 30 other people on this call.

Speaker 1 What is the deal, Microsoft Teams? I don't want to buy into the office suite anymore. Google Drive got your ass, and we're all using docs and sheets and pages.
We're not doing PowerPoint

Speaker 1 in the year 2025. I don't know why we're still tethered to Teams.
I don't know why Bill Gates is in interview magazine at this point. Why do we give these people our time, our effort, our energy?

Speaker 1 I have to spend five minutes after the meeting starts to figure out how the fuck to log on. And that's one minute.
Everyone out there, Microsoft Teams doesn't work for us.

Speaker 1 And I have all the sympathy in the world for the people who work at companies where they are forced to use Microsoft Teams because of whatever contracts they have.

Speaker 1 But you must fight and use your power as employees to switch to Zoom. Just do it.
It's the standard, not the industry standard. It's the world standard.
Equality is so much worse on Teams.

Speaker 1 What's the redeeming thing? I don't know.

Speaker 1 It ruined my day this morning. I don't know a worse platform.

Speaker 1 I don't know. No.

Speaker 1 A worse platform. No, we're not fans of Teams.
We're not fans of Teams. It's also so much business to get into it.
It's business to get into it.

Speaker 1 I can't see a full list of the, of like a full populated list of like people. Like, I don't know.
The grid view is like. It's different.
It's three by five in the first three rows.

Speaker 1 Then it's two by seven and then second. It's like this is the kind of thing that's really going to piss Bo off.
No, I need, I need to see everyone needs to have the same hierarchy on

Speaker 1 a Zoom or on a video conference. Like I totally agree.

Speaker 1 Do you really agree? No, yes. And I want to say we loved everyone on the grid.

Speaker 1 And it was a great call. Great call.
We would have loved to see you all shine equally. All shine equally.
Yeah. That's the thing.
The grid just kept moving.

Speaker 1 Like the resizing and people had bigger faces than others. And I was like, this is intolerable.
Yeah. Let me tell you something.
The Hollywood Squares, it was not. No.

Speaker 1 I just want.

Speaker 1 I want Paul Lind and Whippy Goldberg in Center Square. I just want to know exactly where someone is sitting in the Hollywood Square.

Speaker 1 I want all my Zoom calls and like online meetings to be like Hollywood Squares. Like, I know

Speaker 1 that Deb from Accounting is the top left square. I know that you and I would have torn up.
It's back. It's back.
What? Yes. It's like, it's like fully a show.

Speaker 1 The other day it was on, it was Margaret Cho was on it. We need to get booked.
Drew Barrymore. I think Drew Barrymore is center square.
That's iconic. The cast was not chumps.
I'll tell you that.

Speaker 1 That was nice. We want to do.
In fact, someone sent me a picture of it and was like, why aren't you on this show? Which I usually think of as a little bit of a drag. Right.

Speaker 1 But I know I want the Hollywood Squares is so aspirational. It's iconic.
All right. Well, so we're available for Hollywood Squares.
Yes. I want to say one thing before we go.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And I feel like it's sad that I even have to do this, but I'm now begging. So.
Epic Universe is now finished. It's completed.
It's being handed over to Park Operations.

Speaker 1 I have not heard from anyone at NBC Universal or, you you know the parks i haven't heard from anyone from orlando with an invitation and i don't know what else i can say other than you want us there trust us talking about this trust us like please invite us please and also everyone on the ground bts

Speaker 1 The information has also been lacking. I've not been getting the leaks that I wanted.
Like, if you are on the grounds in Epic Universe and you can give me leaks, you need to be getting in my DMs.

Speaker 1 I'm very good about discreetly sharing information. I'm not see, I'm not feeling it.
You can see we went black. We went, we went dark.
Look at that. We went dark.

Speaker 1 Our backdrop went out because of because of the severity of the situation. This is a very serious situation

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 we need to be reached out to. We need to be collaborated with on this or I'm going to be upset.
This sucks. See what's happening?

Speaker 1 What's our Microsoft Teams? This is Microsoft Teams. Oh, no.
It's

Speaker 1 Samsung Smart TV. All right.
Well, we got to go. We got to go.
All right. Epic Epic Universe reach out.
I'm hearing that

Speaker 1 they are giving an engineer walkthrough in March. How are you hearing that? Someone reached out to me and I said, you need to reach out to Matt Rogers.
No, Matt, sit down.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Matt, no.

Speaker 1 Now you're making me feel bad for sharing information with you because it didn't come up and this person messaged me yesterday. What did they say? Do you want me to read it? Yes.

Speaker 1 They might get in trouble. But see, if you had messaged me, me, I would have put this out on the low.
Okay. All right.
No, no, no. Don't get them in trouble.

Speaker 1 But like, no, I'm just, I just want to read what the scuttlebutt is. Okay.
Tell us the scuttlebutt. I can't believe this.
Oh, here it is.

Speaker 1 Team members' preview dates have dropped. That's all I've received.
What do I,

Speaker 1 we, we need to,

Speaker 1 in the words of Diana Ross, reach out. No one will do a better job than us at drumming up excitement.
People need to hear about this and they're only going to hear about it on Los Coach.

Speaker 1 We have a huge platform and we will use it well. Speaking of hearing, we end every episode with a song.

Speaker 1 I just want you to hear somebody at a

Speaker 1 toll, baby, when you let go.

Speaker 1 But that was my bad.

Speaker 1 Is this breeding? Yes. What does it look like?

Speaker 1 Bye. Bye.

Speaker 1 Lost Culture Reaches is the production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Radio Podcasts. Created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.
Executive produced by Anna Hosnier.

Speaker 1 And produced by Becca Ramos. Edited and mixed by Doug Beam and Monique Laborde.
And our music is by Henry Komersky.

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Speaker 1 You can't spell culturistas without R-I.

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That's visitroadeland.com.

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Speaker 1 Get ready for your next TV obsession, All's Fair. Starring Kim Kardashian, Naomi Watts, Nisi Nash Betts, Tiana Taylor, with Sarah Paulson, and Glenn Close.

Speaker 1 A team of fierce female divorce attorneys leave a male-dominated firm to start their own. Filled with scandalous secrets and shifting allegiances, both in the courtroom and within their own ranks.

Speaker 1 These ladies know that lawyers are a girl's best friend. Don't miss All's Fair, now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.
Terms apply. This is an iHeart podcast.

"The Twins Are Fighting Again" (w/ Matt & Bowen)

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Transcript

More episodes from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang

Introducing: CrimeLess

"Elevated Messy" (w/ Rachel Sennott)

"The Protagonist" (w/ Heather Gay)

“Drinkin' The Soda” (w/ Brittany Snow)

"All Up In The Macabre" (w/ Sarah Paulson)