"The Twins Are Fighting Again" (w/ Matt & Bowen)

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It is so thrilling to tell you about a new podcast from the iconic, the incomparable Michelle Obama and her big brother Craig called IMO. You know, on Lost Culture Recess, we dive deep into the culture and get real with our guests.
Likewise, on IMO, Michelle, Craig, and their guests tackle questions from listeners just like you, offering practical advice, personal storytelling, and plenty of laughs. From dating and relationships to family and faith, Michelle and Craig give their candid perspectives to the everyday questions shaping our lives and the world around us.
Like their first episode where Issa Rae laments friendships that need to go. You'll hear Michelle and Craig's stories about being there for each other throughout their lives, from first crushes and fraught college years to landing at the White House to losing their mom.
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This episode is supported by FX's Dying for Sex, starring Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate. Inspired by a true story, this series follows Molly, who after receiving a terminal cancer diagnosis, decides to leave her husband and explore the full breadth of her sexual desires.
She gets the courage and support to go on this sex quest from her best friend, Nikki, who stays by her side through it all. FX is dying for sex.
All episodes streaming April 4th on Hulu. Look, Matt.
Oh, I see.

Wow.

Bowen, look over there.

Wow, is that culture?

Yes.

Los Culturistas.

Ding dong, Los Culturistas calling.

Bowen and I are in conflict.

We're not tactile, even though we could be.

No, please.

Aw, how could I resist?

I can't stay mad at you. No matter how hard I try.
How are you feeling after the Super Bowl? I missed a lot of it, but I am a little bit rattled. Honestly.
Why? What happened that rattles you? It's crazy. I'm not to talk politics, but it's crazy that our president is going after yet another pop star.

It's like,

he loves it.

He loves to have with pop stars and awards bodies. Like I said,

as if they're individuals and he gets off on it.

So how many times has he tweeted about Taylor?

A lot.

I'm not keeping track of it on Twitter or on truth.

I just know that like,

he's reveling in it and like,

God,

if you could go back to 2009 and be like, go to the VMA be like taylor this is what's gonna happen to you like yay sorry dead named kanye i get there i did it again you're gonna buy out an ad at the dentist to go to yeezy.com did you end up seeing it no so for people that don't know it where there was this insane kan Kanye ad that he had bought. It was just him like really out of it.
Like telling people to go to Yeezy.com. I have to say like, does he still sell clothes? Is that still his thing? I'm not sure.
I don't even know what his deal is anymore. I'm just afraid of it.
Hey guys, this is Matt. I just wanted to jump on here very quickly and say that this episode was recorded before we found out what Kanye West was selling on his website.
Obviously, Bowen and I had no interest in actually logging on to Yeezy.com. And so it wasn't until much later, a couple of days later, that we found out what exactly he was selling, which was t-shirts with swastikas on them.
So that's obviously fucking insane. And our sentiment as always is fuck Kanye West.
And I just wanted to make sure that we made that totally clear so that you didn't think we were being glib or dismissing the situation as like anything other than what it is, which is fucking disgusting. So back to the episode, just wanted to jump on and clear the air.
Bye.

I think something broke.

The way that Sarah Sherman talked about David Lynch and how he used the atom bomb

as a way of talking about humanity being broken and shattering.

Like there's something shattered culturally when,

I think when that moment happened.

What, the VMAs? Yeah. Yeah.
That's the origin point. Yeah.
For so much of what's happening now. Yep.
For like this brook to diverge in the wood. Ooh.
In this way. You know what I mean? Like that was a very fateful night.
You have so much clarity. No, I don't.
I can only call it post-nut clarity. No.
Because I know you got the nut yesterday. How do you know? You told me so.
We are not going to do this. So this was what we were in conflict about before the episode started.
Bowen just no longer wants to discuss his personal sexual exploits on the podcast. I'm happy to discuss them.
Even though he's a pig in shit. He is rolling around like a pig in shit.
He's like, Tate, it's okay. I'm okay.
Like, imagine like Bowen just, and it's cocks all around. It's okay.
I'm okay. He's turning down the cock.
He's like, it's okay. I'm okay.
Because he's so inundated. Well, you know, the origin of that phrase.
What? She was in the studio and they were like it's around mealtime let's order some food Tate do you want anything and she kept saying it's okay I'm okay really? because she wanted to keep working she wanted to keep working this is the thing this is someone who holds all three of her titles very seriously equally seriously seriously. Singer, songwriter, dancer.

Yes.

Nothing takes over.

It's a very well-balanced, you know, triangle, a plane, as it were.

And Tate McRae will be on the podcast in two weeks.

We're very excited.

And what you just did right there was amazing for two reasons.

One, it provided new information about Tate that I didn't know.

And then two, I deflected.

And two, it was a misdirect.

It was a redirect. It was a deflection and a projection.
Okay, when was the last time you talked about your sexploits? I actually have an announcement. I'm no longer bringing my sexploits and personal life to this podcast because I'm genuinely out here dating again.
And so I don't want anyone to know how I, like, I don't want to say one thing and then someone think it's about them. Right.
No, I've had that happen recently. I've had that happen recently where I was on, I was on our good friends, Pat and Kat's podcast in treatment and was talking about someone and then another person thought that I was talking about them.
Oop. Amelia Bedelia vibes.
It's Amelia Bedelia vibes. It's like in Sister Sister when they would both, when they would have to switch.
I got my own mind. I do my own stuff in my own time.
Yes, just like Sister Sister. Sister Sister! Should we reboot? Yes.
That actually should be our show. It's a Sister Sister reboot with us.
Where we play twins. Where we play twins.
And the conceit is no one can tell us apart because we're twins. Well, you know, this is an interesting glimpse.

Of course, Matt and I wrote a show for Ars Nova.

Oh, yes.

Ann Fest called Night Soap.

But it was originally something else.

It was originally called, and this was conceived back in college.

We were like, we were just on some different shit back then

because Matt came up with the title,

The Twins Are Fighting Again, A Gay Fantasia with Themes. A Gay Fantasia with Themes.
With Themes, where we did play twins. And then we did end up, like we always wanted for the show to end in a space battle, which ended up being the thing that carried over into Night Soap.
You know that I still have notebooks full of like plot ideas and joke ideas and twists for our show, The Twins Are Fighting Again. Really? Yes.
I think it's worth saying. The Twins Are Fighting Again is title of ep.
The Twins Are Fighting Again. Wow, so we eventually did create media that was The Twins Are Fighting Again.
Which was this podcast or do you mean Night Soap? I'm just saying ultimately, we did it because we will release this episode. It will be called The Twins Are Fighting Again with Matt and Bowen.
So don't let anyone tell you it's not possible that your kind of half-baked idea can't come through later. It can show up in any form.
It can show up in any form. Yeah.
But we didn't end up doing it. We did night soap, which maybe night soap will see the light of day.
I still believe in Night Soap.

Oh, I love Night Soap.

I'm so proud of Night Soap.

As some sort of entity.

I'm really proud of Night Soap because we-

We tore.

We tore.

Not only did we tear, but we really gagged the girls with a plot twist at the end.

You know, I almost died that night.

What do you mean?

Okay, no, it wasn't that night.

It was for your other-

You did another show at Ars Nova.

Yes.

And I did-

So there was a time in my life.

There was probably-

What would you call? Okay, no, it wasn't that night. It was for your you did another show at Ars Nova.

Yes. And I did.
So

there was a time in my life. There was probably, what would you call this?

Like an eight to ten month period of my life

during Pop Roulette and that time where I

was doing death drops on stage.

Yes. You were doing a

lot and you were very good

but yeah, describe it.

I was doing full leaps into the

air like no training just me visualizing in my head and watching Drag Race how it should be and allowing myself to fall on the ground. This was my entire late 20s.
And during that, I forget what it was. You were doing some...
I was doing... Yeah, I forget.
Was it showgasm or something? It was showgasm, yeah. You were hosting something or performing some one-person show.
And I came out and did a death drop. And afterwards, I was told that my neck almost Hillary Swank million-dollar babied on a chair.
Can you imagine? Matt. Oh, my God.
I'm so sad even thinking about that. It would have been really awful had I Hillary swanked Million Dollar Baby because I thought, let me do a death drop.
Imagine explaining that to my parents. You'd have to have done it.
I would have had to have done it. I would have been in a police outfit for some reason.
That's how you see yourself in a police outfit? I just imagine being in a quote unquote police outfit, knocking at your parents' door, telling them that their son had passed away. Okay, let's act it out.
No. I'm Katrina.
Oh my God. Richie, it's Bowen.
Hi, what are you doing here? You look so cute. Miss Rogers, I'm- Miss Rogers? Are, my name is officer Yang.
And I, what's happened? Oh no. I don't like this at all.
Your son was doing a showgasm was a guest on a, I don't understand. On a showgasm show.
What's that? It's this. I don't know showgasm.
It's, it's at Arm It's at Ars Nova I don't like this title Oh, it's a play on the words Orgasm and show Well, I understood that part So what happened? How was the show? It was mid It was a mid show What's mid? Well, oh, sorry So in about 10 years That's going to be a term That people use Oh, so sort of in the middle, sort of not so good, not so bad. Well, you know, you do lots of great shows, but we love coming to the shows.
In this moment, I'm sorry. Sorry, Mr.
Rogers. In this moment, I am.
Katrina, you've always called me Katrina. For some reason, I've taken it upon myself to be a police officer.
Yeah, this is new for you, but I support you. We love the police.

My mom doesn't say that.

I don't know how my mom feels about

the police. Back in.
Your son

Matt did a death

drop. Oh no.

And he

Hillary swanked and million dollar babied his head

on a chair. Won the

boxing match? I only saw

the first 45 minutes of that movie and fell asleep. What happens at the end? Is your husband around? Can I come in? Yeah, of course.
Come in. And see.
You are so embodied in Katrina. I know her better than she fucking was herself.
Oh my God. I feel like you are that way with me sometimes.
You know me better

than I know me. Here's what I'll say.

I know your energy

sometimes without even being in the room.

I literally know exactly how

you feel at all times.

At all times?

Yes. I usually

have some sense of

what the temperature is at all

times. Whether you're

okay, you're okay, or

not.

Look at that. have like some sense of what the temperature is at all times.
So like whether you're okay, you're okay or not. Like what was the last time you tried to like really channel into like my...
I mean I literally walked in today, looked at you and said what's the matter? No, that's a whole separate thing. It is a whole separate thing.
I was having a conversation with... Engineer Doug.
Engineer Doug and we were talking about something heavy and I come in the room and I saw, but I don't even know how to describe it. There is almost like a, it's like a, it's like a resigned yearning.
It's like, Oh, I said, what's the matter? No, I was listening to the conversation. I was listening to your conversation as you guys walked in and it was, because it was dovetailing on a conversation that I was having with Engineer Doug as well about the same heavy topic.
Yes. Yes.
We're dancing around this. It's not anything bad.
It's just, it's a thing that, you know. No, it's something bad.
It is, right. It's something bad.
It's just not something that should be. Do you mind if we share like, okay, so Doug experienced lots of pain because of the fires.
His neighborhood has taken quite the beating. And we're thinking of him and we were just checking in with him.
And again, reaching out to everyone out there who... It's so odd sometimes when I feel like the world moves on.
You know what I mean? I can't stop thinking about this. I was little, like my, my grandfather passed away when I was 12.
And I remember I had this moment where it was like, it was like mid November. It was cold on Long Island.
And we were at the funeral and we get in the car and we turned on the car. And I remember like so loudly, like pop music started playing from the FM radio.
And I was like, it's so crazy that the rest of the world is still listening to pop music. And it's going to be a sunny day today, or it's going to continue.
The world's going to keep going in this way, despite this tragedy. And I can't imagine how it must feel to have the entire world pivot and send you condolences.
And obviously, it's been a lasting topic in the news because it's such a tragedy and so much has befallen that region. But the moment where it feels like everyone else moves on or the world keeps turning, of course it must.
But it's still... Well, it just makes it impossible to go between feeling this interior kind of like mourning and loss and like, and how do you cope with that? Like from within and then try to engage with the world in a way that like, isn't totally devastating because it's like, Oh, the world does spin on and you're like, yeah, what does this mean? I wish I could specifically remember what song it was that was playing.
Because you know it was dumb. What year was this? It was 2002.
Let's think about November 2002. Are we that good at culture? I'm going to say Ashanti.
Foolish. Foolish? No, I hope it was Oh, that's a great song

See, but the thing is

I feel like if it was

Ashanti Foolish

Which, by the way

Is a great song

Is that on the

Great Global Songbook?

I don't think it is

I don't think it is

We might have to do a new list

That might be nominated

What?

Foolish by Ashanti

Might be nominated

Wow

I don't know in what category

But it might be nominated

For the Culture Awards

We have to

Some of the days

Are cool without you

And I'm hurting

While I'm weak

And I'm a cool without you.

I'm hurting while I'm leaving.

And then my heart can take no more.

I keep on running back to you.

Wow.

I mean, we can't officially say it's nominated yet

because there are meetings involved.

No, there's so much meetings involved.

Now more than ever, there's meetings involved.

There's meetings involved.

Let's just say the Culture Awards... There's meetings involved.
There's meetings involved. That's all we can say.
Why are we multimedia? Because this is what you are pushed to do these days. You have to be multimedia.
I didn't ask to write a book, but they asked us. How did that go? Did we ask to write it or did they ask us? I think we always wanted to do Rules of Culture.
We always wanted to write Rules of Culture. Absolutely.
I'm cooked. And so I don't think I could write.
Rules of Culture is the perfect book project for me and us. But I'm saying my brain because I don't think I could write down a single thought or depiction of my experience in like a memoir form if I were to ever gun to my head have to do that.
You literally could, but at the same time I do think it's good that we're sort of entering the book space with like, not training reels, but we get to do it together. And we get to do this thing that's going to have like such a fun container.

Yes.

And so it's practice for your incredible,

revelatory, searing.

Trenchant.

Trenchant, provocative.

Sexual.

At times, if you ever open up,

because here I am trying to get you to open up about your goddamn sexual exploits but it's like trying to milk a stone is that a real expression? I think so it's actually rule of culture number 88 trying to milk a stone is a real expression that's that real expression like I was talking to my girl the other day and I was trying to find out what we were doing this weekend and it was like trying to milk a stone. Yeah.
Wait, I get what you're saying. Should the episode, should title of Epi to milk a stone? Instead of the twins are fighting again? To milk a stone.
Well, okay. Now we're, we're giving too much shine on to milk a stone.
You know what I wish we could do? What? Have the readers vote for this title. I know.
But we can't because that's not, it's not going to work. Chronologically, logistically, it doesn't make sense.
I get so frustrated when there are chronological or logistical limits. Yeah.
I've been like that since I was little. What was the first time travel narrative? Back to the future, I guess.
Certainly back to the future. Which, if they ever come to me and ask for my letterboxd.
Yeah, that's up there. I'm saying four words.
Back to the future. You see me have to check that it was four? Oh, I would have had to check.
We all have to check sometimes. Thank you for that.
So, Back to the Future is a great film.

1985 released.

Yes.

Who knew that they would know

so much about

how the future would go?

Flying cars.

Yes.

Actually,

if you watch that movie,

if you watch Back to the Future

Part 2 again,

it's actually kind of freaky.

Because what's his face

is president.

Because Biff turns into Trump

and then he becomes president.

Right, right, right.

The world's destitute. I'm like...
Tell me what you're like. How do these people who make stories and make up fictional things, sometimes they do know.
Well, it's actually not... It's not that hard to think.
I don't know. All I keep thinking about these days is Final Fantasy seven.
I'm like, how did they know what happens in that? It's these people become eco terrorists because the government is literally corporation and that's what's happening now. Sorry.
It's like our entire government is now being bought by private equity in a sense. It's crazy.
Like the concept of like a national border is not going to be a thing very soon. It's like, it's just going to be a big corporation.
And that's literally the plot of Final Fantasy VII. This energy company called Shinra is sucking the planet's life energy dry, and you are a band of eco-terrorists trying to stop Shinra, but then you have to stop this insane super warrior named Sephiroth who wants to destroy the planet.
Oh, I've heard about Sephiroth. You've brought her up before and I did not like her at all.
Well, because I told you that she was voiced by Lance Bass in Kingdom Hearts. Now, okay.
Are we saying she as in referring to Sephiroth as a big bad gay guy? No, Sephiroth is... Well, Sephiroth could be read as queer for sure.
Seriously? There's no like romantic interest. Like Sephiroth is not romantic.
Like in a way, Sephiroth is like an ace king. Do you think that if they did Sephiroth's backstory and we find out that actually Sephiroth was queer and maybe it was not so easy growing up? That he would be a sympathetic character? That you would eventually gain sympathy for Sephiroth and understand, maybe? You do have sympathy for Sephiroth in the story, I will say, because he starts out being this heroic warrior that Cloud Strife idolizes, and the whole world idolizes, really.
It's Sephiroth. He is a warrior of great renown.
But then he learns of his origins that he was created by having allegedly, well, it's so complicated, but he discovers that he was, quote unquote, created by having the cells of this alien creature named Genova injected into this woman named Lucretia. And he has a psychotic breakdown because he's like, well, Jenova is my mother and I have to destroy the planet because, you know, Jenova wants to...
It's so complicated. So a lot about family lineage and what is expected of you clouding the judgment.
Absolutely. Do you believe that if Sephiroth could have just been a normal gay guy that he would have been happier? I don't think Japanese, so it's a Japanese game.
Japanese culture has not fully grappled with queerness in the way that Western culture has. And that's not a knock on it.
So I'm doing a lot of conjecture. No, I think you're asking such important questions.
And I think it would be a better game if there was an explicit queer narrative put in. So what you're saying is you think that if Japanese culture was only at the place that American culture is at, like if they had really grappled with queerness and they could have injected that into the story of Sephiroth, that we as a world's culture could understand Sephiroth more.
And therefore we might have more of a sympathy for him. Perhaps.

And I will say, and I do want to walk back something and say that it's not that there's a notion of catching up,

that Japan has to catch up to Western culture

in terms of queerness.

In many ways, they've been pioneers.

Of course, there's the Sailor Stars.

There's a huge, very trenchant trans narrative in that.

It's this boy band.

When they turn into the Sailor Stars,

they turn into women.

So we could learn from Japanese culture

about how to respect queer people.

You think that we should do more like they do.

And I would encourage you to go visit

the nation of Japan.

You know I want to go.

I know you do.

Well, after you came back

and had such a wonderful time,

I thought that's the next spot for me.

I thought, let's go to Tokyo.

What would you want to do in Tokyo?

I think you will have a very Stefani-esque

Thank you. time, I thought that's the next spot for me.
I thought, let's go to Tokyo. What would you want to do in Tokyo? I think you will have a very Stefani-esque, Gwen Stefani-esque sort of journey there.
You will visit Harishuku. And that I come back even more problematic? When have you ever been problematic? I ask this genuinely.
Truly, I'm like... When have I ever been problematic? Probably in the ways normal white gay men are in the ways that everybody is yeah but let's just say it problematic I don't actually want to explore this well you brought it up you tried to burn me on this episode that's what you did you came in here and you said I'm going to get him.
Once and for all. You've been so...
Combative. Combative.
We had a Microsoft Teams meeting this morning and Matt was in the middle of this. It was like 20 people and Matt was in the middle of this great run and I just wanted to quickly add something in and then Matt, you know, in a very interesting way said, don't let me finish.
That wasn't you. I wasn't talking to you.

Someone else was trying to talk.

No, you were talking to me.

No, it wasn't.

I'm telling you, I can't say the person's name,

but someone, someone there was like,

and I felt them do that.

And that was what that was.

What was the word choice exactly?

It was, um.

Don't do this.

Let me finish.

It was.

I think it was, I think,

I think what I said to this other person was, just one second.

Just one second is

really charged.

Just one second?

I wasn't doing that to you. When you know it's

not going to be just one

second. Excuse me, what was it, six seconds?

First of all,

now, it wasn't you that

I was doing that to, but now I'm pissed

that you tried to cut me off

during a Microsoft Teams

meeting. First of all, well, that wasn't you that I was doing that to, but now I'm pissed that you tried to cut me off during Microsoft Teams meetings.
First of all, well, this is my I don't think so, honey. Oh, what? No, no, not you.
Just the platform. Oh, Microsoft Teams? I don't understand.
No, we need to save it. It is actually, I came in with this in the pocket.
I'm happy that you did. I didn't have anything today.
Life's been so good.

Everything's been great.

You look great in this cardigan,

by the way.

Thank you.

This is one of my favorite things.

It's from Corridor.

I love Corridor.

Yeah, I really like them.

They're really good.

Oh, look,

but I've buttoned it incorrectly.

That's okay.

Oh, you know that,

that horrible feeling.

It's whimsical. No, nevermind.

No, it looks even.

No, it's good.

It's even.

You know what Corrid quarter's good at?

Knits, sweaters, flannels.

Gay and straight can wear.

Yes.

In fact, sometimes you go in there

and I can only describe the atmosphere

from people that work there

as super friendly straight guys

and you leave being like, we're going to be're gonna be alright yeah I do leave Corridor thinking god I mean if we could all just come together at Corridor yeah you know who's a straight guy that I actually it's worked on me you know what I'm going to say remind me Dylan Efron from the traders oh we love Dylan I love the vibe I love the vibe he's just a sweet boy you see that one picture that's floating around online about him with his booty in the air oh yeah sure we should literally put it up on the back wall and just like have that be the thing for last coach. Doug, can you look up Dylan Efron booty? Yeah, and then show your wife your Google search history later.
Dylan Efron ass in air. He's in like the water or something.
You got to look it up. Oh, I've seen this picture.
It's very Tate McCray-coated. Very Tate McCray-coated.
I'm excited to truly finally see what she looks like. Tate? Tate.
Because, you know, on Iconic 400, we were singing her braces. But my bit back then was she's just moving around so much.
Still, we want to see your beautiful face. We want to see your beautiful face.
And of course, this is all unjust. We love Tate.
And she's a beautiful girl. And she does have a history of sitting still and being still.
We're about to have a conversation with her. Yes.
Sing a little something for us, Tim McRae. I just want your two hands on me.
This is a bop. It's a great song.
How you doing over there with that gay search? I got it. You got it? What do you think? Alright, now put it up here.
Now I know it has to be a certain frame rate or something. Frame rate.
So we're going to look at this, whatever it is, frame rate. I can't get it up there.
You can't get it up here? You can't get it up. It's on the drive.
Then bring your computer over here. Next time, we will have it.
We'll just show it to the camera. We're just going to show it to the camera.
Okay, so this is the sort of famous picture of Dylan Efron now. I'm going to zoom in.
I'm going to zoom in on this. All right, so this is what we're giving.
This is good stuff. Now, why would that man do that if he wasn't trying to tease and...
I'm okay with it. And bait a little.
Well, you know, he looks like a skilled boy. This is back arch culture.
I mean, this is a great picture. This is an amazing photo.
There's such a confidence in that pose that it makes you wonder. And it's not like a...
This is not a panic situation. It's just like, embrace it.
The eyes are locked on the camera too. The eyes are National Geographic eyes.
For sure. You can only describe this as Tate McCray coded.
Of course. It's actually rule of culture number 90.
You can only describe this picture of Dylan Efron as Tate McCray coded. Yeah.
Okay, thank you, Doug. We'll return the laptop to you.
I'm not ready to give it up. This is great.
By the way, there was that one scene of he comes over to take it. I say no.
No. There was that one scene of Dylan Efron and Tom Sandoval walking up when they were in like when they were a couple.
Spoiler alert for traitors. There's a duo challenge and Tom Sandoval and Dylan Efron are a duo in the challenge.
And they're like a married couple. They're both dressed up.
It got you? It worked on me, unfortunately. The redemption of Tom Sandoval.
No, there's no redemption. There's no light in that man's eyes.
The redemption is not working on me. I'm still oh please about Tom.
But I will say when I watched him and Dylan Efron walk down the aisle together, I had thoughts. Well, that was just the idea of two men walking down the aisle.
Am I that horny? No, I've been, okay, I'm about to get vulnerable. Let's go.
That's what I've been wanting from you. This is the vulnerability the judges have been looking for.
But this is maybe what you're getting at, which is sometimes I can just kind of get there by just thinking about the idea of two men kissing. I will say this.
Does that make sense? Yes. I would rather watch men make out than do anything else.
Do all this other stuff they're doing to each other. Then go to war.
Can I say? I agree with you. I'd rather.
I would so much rather watch men kiss than go to war. Whoever did that mural in Berlin of whatever, was it like Henry Kissinger and Gorbachev making out or whatever that Berlin mural is? They should have just done that.
They should have just done that. Can I say something about these warmongers? They would love gay sex.
It's so fun. Once you get over the hill of the pain or whatever, you're going to love the way you look.
I guarantee it. This is my thing.
Not to talk about the gender binary too much, but I think... Of course, never.
I was asking about Jalen Hurts last night during the Super Bowl. And one of our friends there was saying how he has like an all-female team, basically.
Love that. Manager, publicist, whatever, all women.
And like he was asked about that. And he was like, yeah, I was raised by a strong mother and women are just better at their jobs and they're just better people.
And I was like, see, this is the thing. And I thought, oh, sure.
An all-male team would be like just all so much energy, so much like pent up something where I'm like, I mean, not to say gay guys don't have their problems, but there is a nice release of the valve. Well, they're constantly releasing valves.
Yeah. Not even necessarily on the weekends.
Sometimes it happens Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Are you talking about gay guys or straight guys? Can I say, I released the valve on Friday day.
That's great. My new thing is I love a daytime weekday hookup.
And I understand a lot of people work there nine to fives, but for those who have alternative schedules, talking to all my gay podcasters out there,time hookup is actually so good because you have a lot of energy. Yeah.
You haven't eaten a lot yet that day. Right.
Or at all. And I just like hooking up when I can see the daylight.
When you can go to a show after. Hooked up the other day, me and the guy went and got a sandwich.
What?

I just put your two hands on me when I

left it.

What sandwich

did you get? Such a good

sandwich. Actually, this part I can't be specific

about. It was an insane,

it was like a spicy pesto

chicken sandwich that you could

never eat before you bottomed during the day. No way.
But post-bottoming during the day? Roll up your sleeves. We're eating spicy chicken.
We're eating and fisting the spicy chicken. Excuse you.
I didn't like that language at all. To the elbow.
To the shoulder. To the shoulder.

What were we talking about that that came up?

No, we were talking about.

Oh, we were talking about someone.

We found.

Someone loves.

Someone.

We found out likes to be.

Have this sexual activity.

It's on their menu, which is fisting.

Yeah.

And I kind of just said. But Matt really dropped into a character and he was like...
And he just really... He like mimed it.
To the... To the shoulder! I think we...
We're like a glove. Because they were talking about how fisting begins.
Where it's like, you kind of have to go in with fingers. You got to go in with fingers like this.
It's got to be like Italian hands. It's like when you hold a pen.
Right. This is how you hold a pen? No, I hold a pen weird.
You see me write. I have smudges all over this part of my hand when I write.
Thoughts on this? I'm a righty who writes like a lefty. That's why.
Well, a lot of great writers hold their pen in a fucked up way. Like yourself.
Sylvia Plath. Sylvia Plath.
Isn't it so curious? Anytime there's like a great artist who like holds their pen like this, I'm like, oh, that's why. I loved the way you said, isn't it so curious? Like it's just the way you tossed that.
Isn't it so curious? Okay. Okay, so I don't know if you've been outside lately, but I got to tell you, spring is springing and it's giving me that travel itch like it always do.
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Any good documentaries lately? You know what I just watched? Diddy. Yeah.
Diddy doc. We haven't really talked about- On Peacock.
Thank you, Peacock. The only people saying the truth.
Yes. People with journalistic integrity these days.
It's only Peacock out there saying the truth. It's only Peacock out there saying that this is a coup.
This is a coup. They're not saying that.
People really aren't saying it's a coup. People aren't saying it.
Like, did you see that crazy ass interview that Kristi Noem did? By the way, Kristi Noem, I forget what her title is. Come on, God.
But she's... She's Homeland Security.
She's Homeland Security. She's the one who shot her dog because it was annoying.
And then got in glam before the ice raids in New York. Yeah.
So she was, I think, with Dana Bash on CNN, being like, we can't trust the government. And Dana Bash was like, you are the government.
You can't trust the government. Like, what are they going to say now that they can't say that the fault is entirely with the government? That's them saying, we are just here to dismantle.
Right, right, right. You know what I mean? Okay, cool.
Great. But then, like, where does that authority come from, anyway? You know what I love about all this? It's making eggs cheaper.
You know what I love about all these executive orders? Like totally changing the price of milk. 100%.
And thank God that 10 trans athletes in the United States can no longer compete. What are we talking about? And you know, progressive media is falling apart too.
You were telling me about this drama between the Young Turks. Oh, the Young Turks is in shambles.
Well, it's God. It's crazy.

Like to watch them make like a

rightward swing to watch

Adam Kasparian on like

Jillian Michaels' podcast.

Oh, it's crazy.

Jillian Michaels is out here with the right

wing podcast. This is my impression

of Jillian Michaels on her podcast.

Yeah.

Biggest loser, Jillian Michaels. Yes.
She went the complete opposite direction as Bob Harper. Bob Harper went to the truth and the light, which is Peacock's the Traitors.
Peacock's the Traitors. Jillian went swinging right podcast.
What was, how did we get on this? I don't know how we've gotten on a single thing we've talked about today. It's been one of the most.
Good documentaries. Oh, we haven't.
We didn't even talk about Diddy. We haven't talked about Diddy on this podcast.
And do we have to? Maybe not. Maybe we don't.
Monstrous rapists. But the thing, okay, this is what I think we can say about Diddy.
When you really look back at like making the ban and you really look back at all of the media that we have of him, pretty much everything, it's kind of shocking that no question was asked about the way he treated anyone in his orbit. Because it was exclusively abusive and totalitarian.
But his version of, he's an abusive narcissist, which might feel like it's a redundant thing, but it's like, he was always very good at the image. And of course, if you watch any isolated episode of Making the Band you're like fuck that's a monster but then like after this club shooting that J-Lo was at that's another crazy thing after that club shooting and after he was acquitted because he had fucking Johnny Cochran on the horn he Like, yeah, he really like cleaned up the PR.
He like took years off, cleaned up the PR, changed his name to Diddy from Puff Daddy. Like he was always really good at like shifting the perception, you know? And even when, even last year when like, you know, Cassie filed the complaint and the civil suit, like he, denied, denied and then the video came out of him in the towel chasing after her and beating the shit out of her when that video came out he goes on live or he just releases some front facing video being like I take full responsibility I've listened to a lot of podcasts about narcissists in the past couple of years and just trying to understand this behavior.
And it's anything they can do in a moment to get to shirk responsibility or to just like another tactic is I'm going to say out loud the thing that's wrong about myself so that I can claim it as a victim narrative and no one can say it about me. Right.
Like these people, when they're put into a corner, it's not always the Trump thing of like, you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong. There's also another narcissistic tactic, which is I'm going to make myself seem like such a pathetic victim and say all this stuff about myself so that actually everyone else is rendered speechless because I've already said it.
They have no intent on actually changing, but they need everyone to know that they're aware because wouldn't it be crazy if they weren't? That's like another tactic that you see him applying. I was going to connect a dot to Housewives, but it feels so inappropriate.
Oh, oh, oh, yeah. Yeah, it's giving that, right? I think that- But it's insane to compare her to Diddy.
No, I mean, but no, but I do think like, I actually, I have felt pretty triggered because you see all these like narcissists getting away with everything. Yeah.
It's like, I'm sorry, but you watched the Super Bowl the other night. Trump comes out to all of this applause and all of this fanfare while the world gets expeditiously worse by the second.
And then you watch like all the commercials and it's like, Casey Affleck's back in a Superbowl commercial. And like Tom Cruise is still Tom Cruise.
Like he's not the figurehead of a cult. You know what I mean? It's like, it's very frustrating.
And then I turned to the room and I was like, this is kind of crazy.

Right.

And someone was like, straight white men are back.

They're back. And then there was that Bud Light commercial.
The overcorrection there is wild. Right.
It's a lot. It's like, okay, we really are making a big pivot back to like, not just a conservative mindset, but like a truly like fuck off to anyone that's tried to make us feel badly for being who we are as straight white men.
It's like that wasn't even what happened. All we wanted was like for there to be some accountability about the pain that's been caused by a straight white man only ideology for this long.
Like they're just upset that people have a voice now. and so it's like, that was one thing, but then it was like when the media included people and tried to make everyone feel included in like a, you know, consumerist way.
That's when they really had had enough. Sure.
Yeah. Like you can't be in our Bud Light commercials.
Yeah. Not Bud Light.
Right. Well, they're back.
No, they're back's awesome. So what happens now to Lost Colch? I don't know.
I can't tell. I think Jillian Michaels is third co-host vibes.
Yeah. She would tear.
We absolutely slay the house down boots with Megyn Kelly. The red scare girls were on Megyn Kelly.

Oh,

great.

They were having martinis and talking about the election.

What kind of,

what kind of martinis?

I wonder.

I don't know.

I think they were having martinis.

I think that was the part of it that I pulled.

I was like,

are they fucking drinking martinis and talking about state of the world?

Anyways,

what part of you is afraid right now?

Oh,

a huge part.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean right now in,

in even talking about all this and talking about it right now.

I'm like,

essentially,

I just mean like when you get on the mic and talk about this types of stuff,

I don't think like,

no one's going to like come knocking on our door

because it's like they're not worried about us you know what I mean they were never worried about us and we've never been like warriors in that sense I've never been a warrior I'm a gay guy that likes to like have sex during the day totally but when are they gonna come for us with that I know but the, like, gay guys who have sex during the day literally don't threaten anything about, like, it doesn't concern them at all. So, like, there's no need, but they're going to want to come for that, but, like, there's no need to.
You know what I mean? I think it's because they haven't done it yet. I'm telling you.
The other day, like, I had such incredible sex during the day with a gay guy. And I was like, this is the key.
The key is for people to just understand, like, while you're out here wreaking havoc from a government perspective, you could be getting it from behind on the floor during the day. That's how you know it's real.
I'm just saying. Hardwooded Took the comforter off the bed Threw it on the ground And pointed to the floor You did that? No he did that I said this is exactly right Kennel vibes I even said I know that's right Out loud Can you imagine If after every position changed during gay sex You was the bottom set I know that's right.
Out loud. Can you imagine if after every position changed during gay sex,

you as the bottom said, I know that's right.

Me on the floor.

I know that's right.

Me getting into the butt.

I know that's right.

Me opening the door to trade coming in. We don't have a minute to spare.
Don't bring her into this. We love you.
Sometimes this podcast is just for me and you in a way where I'm like, how are people listening to it? And then so many people do. Because there's going to be people that exactly know the reference when you say we don't have a minute to spare.
And the people know that reference in part because of you. I'm not giving any crap.
I'm just saying like you introduced me to Brooke Ashley. I spotlight the right people.
Oh, and I am a faithful Brooke Ashley watcher. Every episode.
Every episode. I have been, I have had a harder time sitting through the live reactions to all the Housewives episodes that she's had because they tend to be longer.
Because it takes a long time and you have to get with a lot of people. And I think she's a very talented editor.
I think she's very good at just cutting together a nice 40 minute recap. You know, speaking of Housewives recaps, I have a very bad feeling about your girl, Stacey Rush, at the Potomac reunion.
Explain. Did you see the preview for it? I saw the preview that they played at the finale, but no.
It is alleged that she paid TJ all season to be her boyfriend. I've heard this.
And that he finally is like, she hasn't paid me. I'm not coming to the fucking reunion.
It was all fake. How are you going to deal with that if it's true? Which it looks like I think that's iconic.
Stacey Rush is a perfect housewife. They've even said in the Vulture Recaps that she is an alpha Oh no, I'm sorry.
She's an apex predator housewife in the making. she went after Karen and Giselle by the end of the season I know that's right put the comforter on the floor because I know that's right I'm taking it in the butt from that episode from Stacey Rush she is the most it's a lookism thing she's so beautiful that I don't care what she does wow okay so you don't care if it comes to light that she paid this is the thing.
It's a lookism thing. It's like, she's so beautiful that I don't care what she does.
Wow. Okay.
So you don't care. If it comes to light that she paid this actor.
Is that the worst thing anyone can do, by the way? That's not a morally wrong thing. It's explicitly...
Not real. Not your reality.
But is that not a new... I love watching you swim upstream.
I'm not swimming upstream. I think you'll agree with me.
Is that new achievement unlocked? We have not seen a housewife do that. That's an iconic novel housewife behavior.
Paying for some random insane man because he is crazy. Yeah, that's another thing is his behavior.
Now that we know it's probably fake, his behavior is even wilder because it because like, did he think he was going to book as a result of this on-camera activity? You look wacko, sir. You're a wacko jacko and he...
And is that not amazing for a housewife to do that? Yes. He comes in on 15 out of 10.
With AJ, her friend. Yes, yes, yes.
And then he was like, she doesn't want a problem. And so neither of us have a problem.
And we don't have a problem. And then he drags her away and she's like, you're giving a lot of energy.
You're being alive. And he was like, I just wanted some time with you.
I want a time with you. He is.
You look so beautiful and I'm so happy to be here tonight. It's like so clear that it's staged.
It's so scary. When you look back, but it's like she got more than she bargained for.
She got more than she bargained for, but that is a new, that's something and I'm being genuine here. I'm not, I'm not like being gymnastic about this.
It's like she is so interesting. Can I tell you what I think is going to happen? Yes.
I think Robin's coming back and I'm not mad about it. I keep taking these L's.
Do you look at it as an L? Yes. She's bad on TV.
No, I don't think she is. I actually liked Robin on Traders.
On Traders, sure. I'm willing to burn this with Robin.
Really? Why won't you burn it? Where was that from again? That's Salt Lake City. I want to burn it.
Lisa, why won't you burn it? Lisa, why won't you burn it? She comes over to the other couch. Burn it.
Burn it. Burn it.
No, I was ready to burn it with Giselle. And then she went ahead and showed her ass.
She made it too personal. She's irredeemable.
I'm sorry. I would say, Giselle, it's a no.
I'm interested in,

Robin Dixon,

listen,

I think it will be interesting

to have her come back

in light of all the Karen stuff.

Especially if Karen

ends up going to jail.

Do you think she's going to go to jail?

There's a high chance.

There's a non-zero,

there's a,

not even a non-zero chance.

There is a definite chance.

There is a definite chance

in the words of Adam Warble.

Definite chance

is my favorite thing.

You said it twice a day Thank you. There is a definite chance.
There is a definite chance in the words of Adam Warble.

Definite chance is my favorite thing.

You said it twice a day

at least in front of me.

There is a definite chance.

If you

work as you should

you'll be

making good.

That is literally my message to Robin.

There's a definite chance if you work as you should,

you'll be making good.

Yeah.

Because I think Robin, this is the thing.

You kind of have to look back at the whole thing

with different eyes now that we found out

that the stuff with Karen is so deep and dark.

What does that have to do with Robin?

Robin was always on Karen's ass.

Right.

And Karen acts like, and I love Karen Huger. We love Karen Huger.
But she's acted like bigger and better than all of it for such a long time. Right.
And then all of a sudden looming, there's this like darkness, which, you know, she wasn't. Well, she's, but she's always been so obsessed with the etiquette and what's, what's Potomac and what's not Potomac.
The etiquette obsession is so funny to me. Well, it's, it does belie this thing that she has nothing figured out in her life.
That like, Ray never fucking paid his taxes or whatever. And like, there was a man, another man with her in the car that night.
Do we believe that that's true? I think that might be true. But this is all, this is all, you know, we need Wendy Williams more than ever.
So apparently she's, she's done that interview where she, where people are like, she sounds normal. I think that's a hard thing to say about anyone in any, like, because she also has a diagnosis.
Right. So it's like people that struggle with, you know, any sort of, I don't even know how, cognitive like situation, you're going to have good days and bad days.
you know any sort of I don't even know how cognitive like situation you're gonna have good days and bad days so I get the entire internet being like see look she's fine it's like I don't know she's got a diagnosis from a doctor we've also seen her being very not fine right right right so I think people should continue to let the professionals weigh in on what Wendy should or should not be doing. Thank you for saying that, by the way.
Well, I'm a doctor. Well, but I presented something that...
Why do you laugh? Jordan, Doug, are y'all laughing? He laughed at me when I said I was a doctor. I have four degrees.
It's only four degrees. I only have one degree degree I know I had a census worker

call me and she

for some reason the way she said

and you have

one bachelor's degree yes

and I said uh huh for some reason

it sounded like a dick and you have

let me look here

oh it's easy to count because it's just one

bachelor's degree

it's easy to count

bachelor of

arts

Thank you. look here.
Oh, it's easy to count because it's just one bachelor's degree. It's easy to count.
Bachelor of Arts in Chemistry. That's interesting.
NYU. Okay.
Now I understand. That makes sense.
So one Bachelor's of Arts in Chemistry. It says here, just looking at your extracurriculars, Danger Box Improv?

Mm-hmm.

Very good, fun improv group.

That's very good, fun improv group.

Okay. Okay.

So, yep, I guess I've heard all I need to hear as the census.

Hangs up the phone.

One idiot.

Useless idiot.

Waste of money. Thag.
Gay guy. That I call a faggot.
Where are we on the word faggot? I'm embracing it. As you can see, I've used it several times.
Is it a thing where our friends over at Stradio Lab have said reclaiming an insult is, which I don't think faggot applies. They'll say anything.
They'll say anything.

They just want clicks. No.

You can never be lost, Coach.

Period.

Well, I predict

a rise in that slur

being used, just in a more general

sense. Oh, certainly.

Straight white men being so back,

you can bet your bottom dollar that

you're going to hear the word faggot. I hear it's happening in the Austin comedy scene a lot.
I have people on the ground. Yeah.
And tell them to go to oil can Harry's and you know, you can call someone a faggot. If you've, if you've had an anal fissure, I wouldn't wish that on anybody.
If you've experienced anal pain in such a crazy apocalyptic way, like every gay man has, you can use that word. Remember yesterday? What? I went to the bathroom to pee, came out of the bathroom and I was like, ah, because I had like a sudden insane pain in my butthole.
Remember that? Yeah. I am the transparent one on this show.
I'm transparent.

Say something transparent.

Oh my god.

I did a

full pube shave

for the first time in a month. Because a man

asked you to? No, because I was like,

I gotta whack the weeds.

Imagine a man rolling over and being like,

that was great.

Next time, I just,

for me, my preference is that you

shave everything.

Thank you. Imagine a man like rolling over and being like, that was great.
Next time I just, for me, my preference is that you shave everything. Kiss me.
So good, babe. Do you like to be a little spoon or big spoon? Nice.
I like to be big. I feel good.
Feel good. You feel even better hairless.
Spooning.

How do we feel?

It's always good for five,

10 minutes.

And five and 10 seems like a liberal sort of allotment of time.

Because you know what happens when you spoon.

Okay.

This is what.

The arms.

Where do the arms go?

No,

this is unfortunately what happens when spooning works too well.

Oh.

And I'm going to reveal this. And the person that this is about listens to this podcast and is going to

know,

and no one acknowledged this when it happened,

but I am acknowledging it now.

So I hook up with someone while I'm on tour and I know this person.

Well,

yeah.

So we sort of have like a,

like a friend slash sex relationship and have sex.

Great.

Wonderful.

And then afterwards he's big spoon.

Uh huh.

And it actually was good.

Big spoon where you actually could sleep like that.

Really?

But unfortunately it was just good. We just like had good puzzle pieces, but bed that.
It was just good. We just had good puzzle pieces.
But bed chem. But bed chem.
But it was... Sabrina, come on the podcast.
I'm so serious. You're saying it was good puzzle pieces.
It was really good puzzle pieces. We had bed chem.
And I was feeling like, oh, I actually could fall asleep with this man holding me. That's amazing.
Lovely. No risk of any relationship here.
He's in a relationship, etc. So I go into that dream state of where you're half asleep, half whatever.
And when you're being held like that and you have sense memory to a time when being held like that, you were in a relationship. I half asleep.
He shifted a little bit and I kind of went back and I kissed him and I said, I love you. And I felt him.
This was in a stupor. It was in a stupor.
Yeah. And I literally, I'm not in love with this person.
I don't, I do love this person. I care for them.
We have sex. But I don't, the way I say it is because I was somewhere else.

I think I honestly got triggered to a time when,

Oh my God.

I was in love with a man that held me.

And so,

and so I go,

love you.

I love you.

It's fully three words because love you is different than I love you.

I fully say,

I love you.

I feel him go,

look,

I feel kind of like a shift.

And then I lay down and now I'm like,

Thank you. I fully say I love you.
I feel him go. I feel kind of like a shift and then I lay down and now I'm like wide awake because I'm like, oh fuck.
Like I just like. That woke you up or the shift woke you up? No, it was like the shift and then I love you and then his like little like moment.
I could have gone right back to bed because I was in half rem. You felt the tension.
But I was like oh no. I just said I love you to this guy.
Oh, that's so bad. And I just played dead and then it was fine and we never talked about it until now.
And I, so you, so this is the first time you're bringing it up after the incident. I almost said something right in the moment, but I thought like, I almost, because like, you know when 20 seconds pass and then 25 and then 30 and now it's too late.
The window's closed.

I could have just been like hey

I said I love

you. I don't mean it.

I do but like

you know and he would have been like it's

I think

window is always open.

I mean it's out

there now. It's out there now.
The window's open. So okay

so and he listens and you think

religiously he will okay he will

Thank you. window is always open.
I mean, it's out there now. It's out there now.
The window's open.

And he listens and you think he will receive that.

I will receive a DM.

That's great. And I think it's great.

Unless he doesn't remember.

Which that's also fine.

But I guess now he's being reminded.

I don't love any of you that I fuck once.

Can I just say?

That's not... I think the earliest I've said it is after three, three, three times.
After three times. That was, that was the soonest you had said, I loved you.
I love you. Yeah.
But have you had sex with this person more than three times? This person? Yes. I've had sex with like three or four times.
So then you, then you, but it, but it was a mistake. I've, I've said, I love you one time for real, which was a horrible mistake that I made after like after three times once.
And it was too soon. But you live, you learn.
You live. You learn.
Well, thanks for sharing that, by the way. I'm the transparent transparent one.
I don't You're the combative one.

You're the combative one is what you are

and so you wield. I'm the heart

of this podcast. Yeah, absolutely.

And you are the soul. I don't

know about that. What are you? I don't know what

I'm giving. I really don't know what I'm giving.

I love this topic. I love this.

What do you mean you don't know what you're giving?

I'm back. You know what it is?

I'm back in a moment of like

it's just okay, one thing

onto the next, onto the next. I've done like four

We're going to go. What do you mean you don't know what you're giving? I'm back.
You know what it is? I'm back in a moment of like,

it's just,

okay,

one thing onto the next,

onto the next.

I've done like four cross country flights in two weeks.

I literally barely know where I am.

This is dark echoes of like the hard moments of shooting.

Do you actually feel that way?

A little bit.

Well,

I'm like,

I don't think I've ever been funny or I've ever been like,

it's like, it's no. And I know you're rolling your eyes your eyes, but this is the thing that just like anyone who like works professionally in comedy like feels.
It's a universal feeling. And so like that's not, I'm not like hard on myself about it.
And you can draw the line to fatigue. Yes.
But again, so uninteresting to talk about that on this podcast. And I really have tried not to talk about this.
I don't think it's uninteresting at all. But I talk, there was a moment on the podcast where I was talking about it a lot.
And people were like, oh, being tired, being tired. But that's different than like my perception of myself is in flux and affected because I am so busy, which you could draw a line to success, but

that is like, it's getting fuzzy

for you. And I don't connect it to

success at all. But the reason

why you're traveling so much is

because, that's what I'm saying. Is because

there's just things to be at for the next

couple months. Right.

When will that end?

April. April is when like...
April is when like the award stuff is done and like I'm back on a regular schedule at SNL. Like that's...
So the Oscars isn't like the finish line for... I think Oscars is the finish line but then after Oscars like there's more stuff.
You and I might have to talk about a trip. Oh, right.
Yeah. But that's fun.
That's fun. But right now, my brain is only registering as like another place to be at.
We'll reframe that later. Totally.
Bone and I want to go to Berlin. I'm still coasting on the Japan trip.
Like I'm still like- Such a positive thing. Such a positive thing.
And like I will hold on to that for the rest of my life. Like a friend was asking me about it the other night.
And I just like, even just in recounting, I just got emotional again, just talking about the Pokemon plane and talking about the food I ate and all these things. And the wrestling, New Japan Pro Wrestling.
Oh my God. This episode is supported by FX's Dying for Sex, starring Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate.
Insp slate inspired by a true story this series follows molly who after receiving a terminal cancer diagnosis decides to leave her husband and explore the full breadth of her sexual desires she gets the courage and support to go on this sex quest from her best friend nicky who stays by her side through it all fx is dying for sex all episodes streaming april 4th on Hulu. So here's the thing, people.
We're actually transitioning into spring right now. And here's my question to you.
How are you making your bed? Yes, I said bed. I know you're excited.
A space that works for everything. I'm talking snuggling with loved ones.
I'm talking cuddling with the pets, people. I'm talking, you know, busy morning you want to hide from your kids or, you know, just unwinding after everything.
I know that the bed is a sacred spot for me. I'm a big fan of bed rotting.
Sorry. After a long day and I just love chilling with my Brooklinen sheets.
You know, it feels good on the whole bod and it relaxes me. You know, I get into my little mental state where I'm like, okay, I'm Zen.
I'm cool. I'm absolutely covered in Brooklinen.
Brooklinen has everything you need for a refresh, high quality comforters, cotton throw blankets, and more. Brooklinen's super high quality products have been tested and awarded by experts, including good housekeeping, GQ, wire cutter, and more.
Brooklinen sheets are tried and true with over 200,000 five-star reviews and millions of happy customers. And Brooklinen's customizable bundles make it easy to refresh your bed and bathroom, putting everything you need in one place.
Shop award winners and fan faves in store or online at brooklinen.com. That's B-R-O-O-K-L-I-N-E-N.com.
Get 15% off your first order today. Who's planning a trip to Provincetown this year? We are BU in P-Town.
It's a beautiful mosaic of cultures where everyone is welcome. P-Town is always an adventure filled with pride, mischief, sizzle, queer, magic, pride.
P-Town has so many fun theme weeks for everyone LGBTQ+, like Pride, Girl Splash, Bear Week, and Family Week, plus Carnival and Trans Week. If you've been before or if it's your first time, you deserve to enjoy life on the wild side.
From Boston, hop on a fast ferry for 90 minutes. The ferries run from mid-May through mid-October.
For many, the definition of paradise is summertime in Provincetown. It's all about freedom, sunshine, and a chance to be ourselves.
So sashay your way to p-towntourism.com, the official guide to Provincetown. p-towntourism.com.
Provincetown, we're gonna see you there. Catch the new Hulu original comedy Mid-Century Modern from the creators of Will and Grace, executive producer Ryan Murphy, and director James Burroughs.
When three best friends move in together, Palm Springs will never be the same. Bunny, Jerry, and Arthur are already close friends, but when they decide to live together, it's a new chapter with a new family.
And speaking of family, don't forget Bunny's mom, Sybil, who's along for the ride. Whether it's a trip to Fire Island or a local congresswoman with a wild side, these roomies know how to do it with style.
They're fun, they're fabulous, and they're turning life's lemons into spiked lemonade. So shake up a batch of cocktails, relax by the pool, and get ready for some serious shade.
A new comedy with heart, soul, and sass, Mid-Century Modern stars Nathan Laid, Matt Bomer, Nathan Lee Graham, and Linda Lavin. All episodes of Mid-Century Modern are now streaming on Hulu.
And then I'm gonna go with you to the Academy Awards. Do you think that we'll have like pretty good seats? I mean, I hope so.
It also doesn't matter. It's just going to be.
You took our bestie Jared to the Critics Choice Awards. And if you know, you know he was in the front.
We were front and center aligned with the microphone. It was unreal.
Oh my God. We got to meet the whole substance team, the producers.
Tell them what they said. They listened to the episode.
I think maybe the pod, I mean like publicists are out in full force literally in the professional sense and in the lost culture sense. Like, I mean, it was very nice to connect with some of you.
All of you really. Like, it's fun.
Like, we're all just talking about movies that we like. That's just what it is.
All we wanted was to be more on the podcast, but we don't think it can work. We don't think it can work, but we got to meet Coralie.
That's so cool. Got to meet Margaret and Jack and...
Margaret and Jack doesn't get bigger than that for me. Ultimates.
And it was so fun. You know who was connecting with Jared? Who? With Cynthia.
I heard about this. Cynthia and Jared were connecting a lot because anytime they would roll the nominees packages, these are two people who have the same media diet apparently because they'd be like, I love that show.
Or that was an amazing short. Oh, that documentary was amazing.
Like these are just two people who've seen everything. Jared told me that he was like, Sing Sing, my favorite movie of the year.
And that Cynthia went, Sing Sing is my favorite movie of the year. It's absolutely my favorite movie of the year.
Really good. Lauren.
Lauren. Matt has a Cynthia.
He'd love that. He'd love that.
John M. Chu winning best director.
That was so great. Just to explain, because people seem to have comments about this.

Orlando Bloom, who presented the award, pointed out that in the past, I think, since Argo,

so that's the past 12 years, every director who's won the Critics' Choice for Best Director

has gone on to win Best Director at the Oscars.

And we say since Argo because Ben Affleck was famously snubbed for the nomination for the Oscar for Best Director. So this is the first time because every single year since that director has won the Oscar and now John is not nominated for the Oscar.
John was snubbed for the Oscar. And so when he took the stage and, with that information sort of top of mind for everybody, he said,

I'm going to win that Oscar! And it was clearly a joke.

He looked handsome as hell.

So handsome. And did not have his speech prepared.

Did not have his phone with him.

Off the cuff, off the dome,

gave the best speech of the night.

I think off the cuff is the way to do it.

Absolutely. It's real.
It's like

he just started with the words,

I've always loved telling stories.

And it just went from there.

And then he talked about being at his parents' restaurant, comfort food at comfort prices, talking about spending his days just writing and drawing at the restaurant while he was just trying to get through the day. And it just reminded me of all the times that I would just make up stories at Chinese school when I was waiting for my parents to finish up.
Like, it's just, it just like dug up this thing in me where like all the times that like I would just like make up stories like at Chinese school when I was like waiting for my parents to finish up like it's just it just like dug up this thing in me where I was like God this is just what we this is just what everybody in that room wants to do and he told the most radical story of the year to me in like this mythic fantasy setting like there's a lot of great interesting subversive stuff this year at the Oscars but but I feel like wicked is this Trojan horse of a thing where it's like about whatever, like anti-fascism, racism and like careerism and like all of these things that like is such a huge accessible container for everybody that like, it's pretty incredible. And I say, this is someone who like, I have, I have said, I have just enough of an objective, like POV on on this.
Not objective, but like I'm obviously biased, but I just think like, I love that movie so much. Even when I can easily forget that I'm involved, I'm just like, that's such a great fucking movie.
Has he said anything to you guys about Wicked for Good? Yeah. What is he saying? They're still in the edit.
Okay. So no trailer to Super Bowl, unfortunately.
Sorry, y'all. They just want to get it right.
But they've been busy with the word stuff. So like it's the timeline.
It's just the dance card has been full. When did the Wicked teaser trailer come out? Was it Super Bowl? It was Super Bowl last year.
I see. So people were expecting it this year.
But it will be great. Do you think that Cynthia and Ariana will continue to do Pink and Green all the way through? Or do you think they'll shift to a darker vibe because it's a darker film? I think they'll shift to a darker film.
I think Ari's going to start working some blue in as we've seen. Really? Not as we've seen on the red carpets, but like she...
And they've already started to move away from pink and green. But one of Glinda's dresses in Forgoat is blue as we've seen from those photos.
You've seen those photos? I don't know if I have. What scene is that from?

It's another,

I think it's another Munchkinland scene

where she's with Fiero

and I think people have like

clocked those stills.

And you have no knowledge

of the new song

that Cynthia wrote for For Good?

No, I don't.

Honest to God's truth, I don't.

Why did you look away from me?

I just, for me as someone

who studies body language

because I've been studying

a lot of Justin Baldoni,

Blake Lively body language,

I noticed that

Thank you. from me.
For me as someone who studies body language because I've been studying a lot of Justin Baldoni, Blake Lively body language. I noticed that when you said honest to God I don't, you looked all the way up here.
I was looking at that camera and I was addressing the listener Regis Katie's publicist, Carlos Finalist. Honest to God.
Honest to God, I don't. And I really, like, what do you want me to say? Sing the song.
I don't know the song. Sing Cynthia's song.
I don't know what it's called. I'm trying to think where it's going to come in.
I don't know. I really don't know.
I can't wait for No Good Deed. Oh, I mean, No Good Deed.
I can't wait for March of the Witch Hunters because that song goes off. Are you in that? No.
So what can you say about Fanny's role? What can you tease for us about Fanny's, what Fanny gets out to a wicked forget? So Fanny and Shenshin have seen their worldview sort of pay off, which is we just want status. Yeah.
And that's all I'll say. Do you think that their fall will be precipitous? I think their fall will be maybe quite literal.
Oh my God. I can't wait.
To see how this turns out. To see how this turns out.
You know, they're saying Anora is going to win Best Picture now. That's the favorite after DGA and PGA.
Yep. And I'm all for it.
Down for it. Down for it.
Although, I don't know. There's a case to be made about, I'm just speaking to reputable people about this.
Uh-huh. And there's a case to be made because voting opened up this week for Oscars.
There's a case to be made about because the news has been so awful. Yeah.
Something might motivate people to vote for like the feel goodgood but still politically relevant movie in Wicked.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't think it's out of it.

It's not out of it.

Especially with the John Chu win at Critics' Choice.

I think that there's the John Chu win at Critics' Choice.

I think the SAG awards are still coming up.

I think that the predictions were that you guys would take SAG Ensemble.

But now I don't... You know what I thought was going to happen? I thought maybe Producers Guild was going to go to a complete unknown just because it's like a lot of Bob Dylan fans.
Yeah. Let's say.
But I just don't think that movie is that great. And I think that Anora now feels like, they were saying with ranked choice voting, it feels like nobody hates Anora.
Whereas like every other movie, even if they have a lot of love, there's a lot of hatred. The way that you win Best Picture Oscar is if you get ranked two or three on everyone's ballot, you're going to win.
Is that the Green Book effect, do you think? Sort of. Yeah.
It's like a movie that people... Well, because people kind of hated Green Book by the end too.
By the end after after voting had closed. Yeah, well, it's like it kind of became the villain late.
So it was maybe too late, whereas Amelia Perez that film has become the villain quite early and it's like sort of doomed. But Onora, if it's not people's number one, it's probably people's two, three, or four because everything else is super polarizing.
It's Raida Queen. It's Raid of Queen.
Yeah, it's Raid of Queen. It's Raid of Queen rules this year at the Oscars.
It's Raid of Queen rules at the Oscars. I want to ask you about, because you brought it up.
Me? Yes. Blake and Baldoni.
Oh. Because we kind of touched on this on the Sarah episode.
I mean, $400 million on top of the

$250 million

New York Times one?

My bit that whole week was,

so sorry.

I have to take this text.

My husband and I

are being sued

for $400 million.

I actually only have

about 15 minutes.

My husband and I

are being sued

for $400 million.

Could we actually

do lunch at 2?

I have something

from 12 to 1.

It's a long story.

My husband and I

are being sued

for $400 million.

That's really, see, that's a great

sort of enunciation,

elocution.

Things were going really great.

Tom's car got flipped over and flipped over

a few times. I don't even know that.

Yeah, it's been a lot.

My husband and I are being sued for quite a month.

Can I ask like a...

You can ask anything. I am so

deep on this. I'm so deep

on this. It seems like the prevailing story is that they're both bad.
I think that that is coming to light. There's certainly been bad behavior on both sides.
Sure. But I am tending to side with Blake in this situation for the most part, because the Baldoni stuff is like, like he is like suing like his old publicist now for like releasing the text to the times.
And like, there's just, it seems like there's more stuff. There's more tracks being like covered up on the Baldoni side.
There are a million lawsuits now flying around for so much money. It's so insane.
The New York Times is involved.

All these PR firms are involved, etc.

It's truly a story of just... Rich people being...

How dark the way Hollywood works.

Because here's the real truth.

You can be an asshole.

It's not against the law.

What's against the law is paying people in order to bury someone, defamation, sexual harassment on set. Like this type of thing is like against the law.
So he can prove a million ways to Sunday that she's a fucking asshole. Right.
But that's not against the law, but it's not against the law. And so basically he may have to pay based on stuff that like, I'm sorry, but Megan Toohey, a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist at the New York Times, like pretty much proved in that piece.
And he can sue them or whatever, but like you can't really dispute the fact that he paid extremely expensive publicists to destroy her. And that it worked.
It worked. and I think what he is violently retaliating against is this image that he's built up of himself as being this feminist and this advocate for women.
Right. Which I think if that's true or bullshit or whatever, it kind of doesn't matter in the eyes of the law.
Right. Because even if she was a total asshole and asserted her control over this movie and like, you know, brought her quote unquote dragons in, which by the way, if you read the way that this woman texts, oh my God, it's wild.
You're talking about the publicist. Talking about Blake Lively.
Blake, uh-huh. Like, but she can do all that stuff.
She can assert control over the movie. She can swing her dick.
She can bring in her famous friends. She can have her husband get involved in all this stuff.
Like, it's not against the law. Yeah, exactly.
The way that he acted probably was against the law. So...
Okay, thank you, because I'm going kind of crazy being like, well, they're both awful. And I'm like, well, but one is...
Well, the thing is, I mean, I think at this point, especially because they keep digging in and they clearly like well but one is well that the thing is like they i mean i think

at this point especially because they keep digging in and they clearly want to go to trial this is an ego thing and it's ugly all around and i don't know necessarily where all of their careers go after this i'm sure in some respect they'll kind of be fine yes but you can say to like he contacted his PR and said, you know, let's turn the narrative against her in such a crazy way that like we bury her and destroy her. And you can bring up all this stuff of her being a little bit of a jerk to these, you know, journalists like, you know, saying this kind of thing.
Like there's an old video of her talking about how she did blackface, et cetera. Like,

it's like you can unearth all of this stuff.

You're not proving.

There's no legal criminal.

Yeah.

You're just not,

you're proving that she is an actress with a big ego.

It's not a criminal.

No,

no,

but I guess what I'm saying is like, it's like a liability.

The legality of it.

And it's like,

I think while he may be winning the thing about public opinion about her,

he'll probably still end up paying.

Right.

Well,

I'm glad it's made its way to lost college.

I loved,

I will say the Chelsea handler joke that I liked the most was like,

I think we're all very,

but something she said,

like,

I think we're good.

Yeah.

We're good.

We're good. Yeah.
Cause that's another thing is it's like when people are so hell-bent on um like they seem really sure that everyone cares and i will say i really didn't until it was the only thing in entertainment news and it's such a salve from all the rest of the dark shit happening in the world that it's kind of just like, all right, let's see what's going on with this Blake and Justin thing. And all of a sudden you're sucked in.
But you're saying that window is closed very quick because now you don't care anymore. It's not even that I don't care.
It's kind of the thing of like, it's very well, let's see how this turns out. Cause now, cause if it goes to trial, of course I care.
Right. How do you like bring that to it back to the fire? How do you bring that level of attention to something that actually is important? Well, how about the fact that they were filing these lawsuits while the fires were happening? Totally.
Just to show that the focus is so on them and that the egos are so out of control that this is literally going down and those things are being filed in the court of law. Like what, while everything was going down, it's so brutal.
It's so sad that like, that's the shit that takes up air. Totally.
But I mean, like it's kind of always been like, I know, I know. And here's what I'll say is good.
The fact that you can even make that distinction now and us on our platform can be like, isn't it wild how distracted we all are easily by what is essentially bullshit? Even if it's a big deal to them and it's a big deal to some people in a real way, at least we can be able to say we see how easily distracted the media is. I don't know.
It's all pretty Like, I hate that I know that his production company is called Wayfarer now. And that's just information that's in my brain.
Yeah, it's so close to Wayfarer. The furniture brand.
Yeah, the furniture brand. Yeah, he should have thought of it.
Well, this just made me think. My loan out company has a bad name and I'm like, I need to change it in case I ever get into legal shit.
Dingo Dingus? Dinkum Dingo. Dinkum Dingo.
Australian thing. What's yours? Oh, yours is great.
Basic Instincts. Basic Instincts.
So funny. So good.
I like my loan out. You've got a great loan out.
Dinkum Dingo, I was just like, I can't come up with anything. It's two Australian words.
Put it in. I think Dinkum Dingo is great.
But if it was like, Dinkum Dingo is, you know, like, Dinkum Dingo filed a complaint against. It's like, that sounds so stupid.
Do you want to start a production company with me? Yes. What should we call it? Like, do we want it to have like a serious sounding name? Should it be called Twins Are Fighting Again? Gemini.
I'm meeting with Gemini Entertainment. No, apparently that's the Google AI name.
I was like, we need to get on these names, y'all. Because sometimes they snatch up the...
It's like, you know, getting a handle. You got to snatch it up quick.
Totally. What should it be called? Corridor.
Looking at your sweater. Yeah, that's a good place to start.
But what's something we both love? Mariah Kelly, Gaga. Mariah Kelly, Gaga.
Like it's a gay kid screen name in like 2008. Mariah Kelly, Gaga.
Wait, I've told you, this is so revealing of myself. Your, your, your SL, your SL screen name isC.
No, what is it? AOL screen name? Your AIM screen name? My AIM screen name was? Kelly Clarkson. Wasn't it? Yeah.
When I was little, it was M-A-R-O-T-C-K-779. And you're going to scream when you find out what T stood for.
T stood for Trenise.

Trenise from season 2

of American Idol. Number 5?

No, she was

number 6. She was fifth place.

Because it was Trenise, then

Kimberly Clark. No, Kimberly Clark was number 3.

You better stop. Kimberly Locke was her name.

I'm sorry, Kimberly. I think you've

messed up. Kimberly Locke, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. So it was Trenise, then who was fourth? Trenise.
And who was fourth on season two of America? Oh, God. No.
I don't know. Some guy.
Trenise. It definitely was some guy because I was pissed.
Because then it was, first place was Ruben Stutter. Second place was Clay Aiken.
Third place was Kimberly Locke. Fourth place.
I forget who that was. Yeah.
But it wasn't Trenise. No, Trenise was fifth.
I remember. Oh, was it Josh Grayson? That sounds familiar.
That's so stupid. Remember Julia D'Amato? I was rooting for Julia D'Amato the whole time.
Julia D'Amato rocked. Because she was like a single mom or something.
And I was like, I want her to win. She was a single mom hairdresser from Long Island.
Yes. And she was very like, the woman that I would go in to say hi to my mom at work.
And she'd be like, oh, hey, you're so handsome. I've told you that my mom had really good relationships with everyone at her hair salon, including Lex, who first cut my hair into a crew cut and turned me around to the mirror and said, you look like a Marine.
And there was one nasty queen who my mom was in a feud with at work. And you're going to die when I tell you who it was.
Who? The nail girl, Bernadette. Well, I don't like her.
This episode is supported by

FX's Dying for Sex

starring Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate.

Inspired by a true story, this series follows Molly, who after receiving a terminal cancer

diagnosis decides to leave her husband and explore the full breadth of her sexual desires.

She gets the courage and support to go on this sex quest from her best friend,

Nikki, who stays by her side through it all. FX is Dying for Sex.
All episodes

Thank you. How are you making your bed? Yes, I said bed.
I know you're excited. A space that works for everything.
I'm talking snuggling with loved ones. I'm talking cuddling with the pets people.
I'm talking, you know, busy morning you want to hide from your kids or, you know, just unwinding after everything. I know that the bed is a sacred spot for me.
I'm a big fan of bed rotting. Sorry.
After a long day and I just love chilling with my Brooklinen sheets. You know it feels good on the whole bod.
And it relaxes me. You know, I get into my little mental state where I'm like, okay, I'm zen.
I'm cool. I'm absolutely covered in Brooklinen.
Brooklinen has everything you need for a refresh. High quality comforters, cotton throw blankets, and more.
Brooklinen's super high quality products have been tested and awarded by experts, including good housekeeping, GQ, wire cutter, and more. Brooklinen sheets are tried and true with over 200,000 five-star reviews and millions of happy customers.
And Brooklinen's customizable bundles make it easy to refresh your bed and bathroom, putting everything you need in one place. Shop award winners and fan faves in store or online at brooklinen.com.

That's B-R-O-O-K-L-I-N-E-N.com.

Get 15% off your first order today.

Who's planning a trip to Provincetown this year?

We are BU in P-Town.

It's a beautiful mosaic of cultures where everyone is welcome. P-Town is always an adventure filled with pride, mischief, sizzle, queer, magic, pride.
P-Town has so many fun theme weeks for everyone LGBTQ+, like Pride, Girl Splash, Bear Week, and Family Week, plus Carnival and Trans Week. If you've been before or if it's your first time, you deserve to enjoy life on the wild side.
From Boston, hop on a fast ferry for 90 minutes. The ferries run from mid-May through mid-October.
For many, the definition of paradise is summertime in Provincetown. It's all about freedom, sunshine, and a chance to be ourselves.
So sashay your way to p-towntourism.com, the official guide to Provincetown. p-towntourism.com.
Provincetown, we're gonna see you there. Catch the new Hulu original comedy, Mid-Century Modern, from the creators of Will & Grace, executive producer Ryan Murphy, and director James Burroughs.
When three best friends move in together, Palm Springs will never be the same. Bunny, Jerry, and Arthur are already close friends, but when they decide to live together, it's a new chapter with a new family.
And speaking of family, don't forget Bunny's mom, Sybil, who's along for the ride. Whether it's a trip to Fire Island or a local congresswoman with a wild side, these roomies know how to do it with style.
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A new comedy with heart, soul, and sass, Mid-Century Modern stars Nathan Laid, Matt Bomer, Nathan Lee Graham, and Linda Lavin. All episodes of Mid-Century Modern are now streaming on Hulu.
All right. Well, it's time to wrap it up.
This is I Don't Think So, Honey. And this is where we take 60 seconds to talk about something in culture that has messed us up.
And I'm ready. This is Matt Rogers' I Don't Think So, Honey.
His time starts now. I Don't Think So, Honey.
The nail girl, Bernadette, who years ago did not invite my mother to her wedding.

They worked in the same salon,

Ecstasia in Lyndon Hearst, New York.

It was a community driven place

where women came to get gorgeous.

And so with these vibes over at the nail station,

Bernadette is being a gatekeeper at her wedding.

She invited everyone,

including the girls who were essentially

I'm sorry. over at the nail station, Bernadette is being a gatekeeper at her wedding.
She invited everyone, including the girls who were essentially interns there who just swept up the hair, to her wedding in the late 90s and not my mother. Can you imagine not inviting Katrina to a party? No.
What the fuck do you have against my mother, Trina, Bernadette? Let me tell you something. I better not catch you out here in whatever streets and you come up, Matthew, it's so exciting to see you so successful.
I'm Bernadette. I used to work with your mother.
I will end you. Five seconds.
Wherever you're at. Let's go Bernadette.
You didn't invite my mother to your wedding. That was problem.

That's one minute.

And fucking Bernadette.

I'm sorry.

We love that.

We love every nail technician,

but compared to Katrina,

you're sitting down most of the day.

No,

she was nothing.

Katrina is on her feet.

People are not going to Ecstasia and Lyndon Hurst for the nails.

Sorry Bernadette.

This is no disrespect to all the nail techs out there, but this is a hair salon. So know your place and know your role.
Show some respect to Katrina. Clarities.
Just understand your legacy is not that you're, I don't even know if you're still married, but either way, if you are, even if it's a successful marriage, in terms of lost coach metrics, your legacy is that you fucked up in the late 90s and didn't invite Katrina to your wedding. And I heard about it at home.
The legacy is I'm forgetting your ass as soon as this episode is done. He will.
I won't. I wish you all the best in life, Bernadette.
I will not file you away in any drawer in my brain. That's going to be Bonyang only.
I don't wish you well and I'll remember you. I clearly do.
I was a young, young gay kid and you don't cross our mothers. Period.
First of all, your wedding was probably way boring because my mom absolutely tears it up to Love Shack. Tears it up to all the wedding songs.
Never too much. Never too much.
Never too much. Love Shack is...
Yeah, that's up there. To say nothing of

shout. Azalea Banks

had a point the other day when she tweeted

she wants to see Sam Smith sing Never Too

Much by Luther. And then her fans were

sort of dragging her like, fuck you, Sam Smith.

And she was like, no, no, no, you don't understand. Sam Smith

can sing this like... No, Sam Smith

can do Luther. And she called him White Luther.

All right.

And that's our Azalea Banks mention of the

episode. And this

Thank you. sings like...
No, Sam Smith can do Luther. She calls him White Luther.
All right. And that's our Azalea Banks mention of the episode.
And this is Bowen Yang's I Don't Think So Honey. You ready? Yep.
His time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey, Microsoft Teams.
Is it a browser experience? Do I have to download the app? It's not clear based on the call to actions based on the button. And when I get there, the view is paginated.
I have to click an error to go see the other eight people on the meeting. And then if I mute a pop-up, a persistent pop-up, no matter how many times you X out of it, pops up and says, you're muted.
You're muted. Bitch, I know.
I'll press spacebar when I have to speak out of respect for the 30 other people on this call. What is the deal, Microsoft Teams? I don't want to buy into the office suite anymore.
Google Drive got your ass and we're all using docs and sheets and pages. We're not doing PowerPoint in the year 2025.
I don't know why we're still tethered to Teams. I don't know why Bill Gates is in Interview Magazine at this point.
Why do we give these people our time, our effort, our energy? I have to spend five minutes after the meeting starts to figure out how the fuck to log on. And that's one minute.
Everyone out there, Microsoft Teams doesn't work for us. And I have all the sympathy in the world for the people who work at companies where they are forced to use Microsoft Teams because of whatever contracts they have.
But you must fight and use your power as employees to switch to Zoom. Just do it.
It's the standard, not the industry standard. It's the world standard.
The quality is so much worse on teams. What's the redeeming thing?

I don't know.

I ruined my day this morning.

I don't know a worse platform.

I don't know.

A worse platform.

No, we're not fans of teams.

We're not fans of teams.

Because it's also so much business to get into it.

It's business to get into it.

I can't see a full list of the,

of like a full populated list of like people

So... not fans of teams.
Because it's also so much business to get into it. It's business to get into it.
I can't see a full list of a full populated list of people. I don't know.
The grid view is like... It's different.
It's three by five in the first three rows. Then it's two by seven in the second.
It's like... This is the kind of thing that's really going to piss Bo off.
No, I need to see. Everyone needs to have the same hierarchy on a Zoom or on a video

conference. Totally agree.

Do you really agree? No, yes. And I want

to say we loved everyone on the call.

And it was a great call. Great call.
We would have

loved to see you all shine

equally. All shine equally.
That's the thing.

The grid just kept moving. Resizing

and people had bigger faces than others

and I was like, this is intolerable. Yeah.
Let me tell you something. Hollywood squares, it was not.
No. I just want my- I want Paul Linde and Whoopi Goldberg in center square.
I just want to know exactly where someone is sitting in the Hollywood square. I want all my Zoom calls and like online meetings to be like Hollywood squares.
Like I know that Deb from

accounting is the top left square. I know that you and I would have torn up.
It's back. It's

back. What? Yes.
It's like, it's like fully a show. The other day it was on.
It was Margaret

Cho was on it. We need to get booked.
Drew Barrymore. I think Drew Barrymore is center

square. That's iconic.
The cast was not chumps. I'll tell you that.
That was my favorite. We want to do...
In fact, someone sent me a picture of it and was like, why aren't you on this show? Which I usually think of as a little bit of a drag. Right.
But... No, I want...
Hollywood Squares is so aspirational. It's iconic.
All right, well... So we're available for Hollywood Squares.
Yes. I want to say one thing before we go.
we go and I feel like it's sad that I even have to do this

but I'm now begging

so Epic Universe is now finished

it's completed it's being handed over to Park Operations

I have not heard

from anyone at NBC

Universal or

you know the parks I haven't heard from anyone

from Orlando with an invitation

and I don't know

what else I can say other than

you want us

Let's about this. Trust us.
Like, please invite us. Please.
And also everyone on the ground, BTS, the information's also been lacking. I've not been getting the leaks that I wanted.
Like, if you are on the grounds in Epic Universe and you can give me leaks, you need to be

getting in my DMs. I'm very good about

discreetly sharing information.

I'm not

feeling it. You can see we went black.

We went dark. Look at that.
We went dark.

Our backdrop went out because of the

severity of the situation. This is a very serious

situation.

And we need to be reached out to. We need to be collaborated with on this or I'm going to be upset.
This sucks. See what's happening? Our entire operation is called Teams? Oh no.
It's Samsung Smart TV. Alright, well we gotta go.
Epic Universe reach out. I'm hearing that they're giving an engineer walkthrough in March.
How are you hearing that? Someone reached out to me and I said, you need to reach out to Matt Rogers. No, Matt, sit down.
What? Matt, no. Now you're making me feel bad for sharing information with you because it didn't come up and this person messaged me yesterday.
What did they say? Do you want me to read it?

Yes.

They might get in trouble.

But see, if you had messaged me,

I would have put this out on the low.

Okay.

All right.

No, no, no.

Don't get them in trouble.

No, I just want to read what the scuttlebutt is.

Okay, tell us the scuttlebutt.

I can't believe this.

Oh, here it is.

Team members' preview dates have dropped.

That's all I've received.

What do I...

We need...

Reach out.

In the words of Diana Ross, reach out.

No one will do a better job than us at drumming up excitement.

People need to hear about this.

And they're only going to hear about it on Las Colts.

We have a huge platform.

And we will use it well.

Speaking of hearing,

we end every episode with a song.

I just want your two hands on me

and I'll tell you, baby,

let go.

But I put my back.

Is this reading?

Yes.

What does it look like?

Ooh.

Bye.

Bye.

Las Cultures is a production by

Will Ferrell's Big Money Players

and iHeartRadio podcast.

Created and hosted by Matt Rogers

and Bowen Yang.

Thank you. Bye.
Bye. Las Cultures is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio Podcast.
Created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Executive produced by Anna Hosnier.
And produced by Becca Ramos. Edited and mixed by Doug Baehm and Monique Laborde.
And our music is by Henry Kaperski. This episode is supported by FX's Dying for Sex, starring Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate.
Inspired by a true story, this series follows Molly, who after receiving a terminal cancer diagnosis, decides to leave her husband and explore the full breadth of her sexual desires. She gets the courage and support to go on this sex quest from her best friend, Nikki, who stays by her side through it all.
FX is dying for sex. All episodes streaming April 4th on Hulu.
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