Side Stories: Body Parts for Sale

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Speaker 2 Are you ready to get spicy? These Doritos Golden Sriracha aren't that spicy.

Speaker 2 Sriracha sounds pretty spicy to me. Um, a little spicy, but also tangy and sweet.
Maybe it's time to turn up the heat. Or turn it down.

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Spicy.

Speaker 2 But not too spicy.

Speaker 2 There's no place to escape to this is the last podcast on the left.

Speaker 2 Side stories?

Speaker 2 That's when the cannibalism started.

Speaker 2 Side stories, yes.

Speaker 2 Yeah, this is a really big problem, Eddie. I have no clue how.

Speaker 2 Paper towel is more important. I mean it when I look at you, I have no idea how you did this to your coffee.
I have no idea what happened to you in your coffee.

Speaker 2 You've somehow, you're covered in your coffee.

Speaker 2 You were clean when we started,

Speaker 2 but now you're covered in coffee.

Speaker 2 Lick my tits. And you smell

Speaker 2 like our coffee man's Alex, our incredible, intrepid man is in charge of our bean flow. Man, that man keeps me

Speaker 2 stacked. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 He does. But he, have you ever been around him? Yeah, you met him? Yeah, yeah, we have a Chicago show.
He smells of delicious beans. It's a good thing to stink of, I guess.
He smells so delicious.

Speaker 2 Yeah. He smells like a nice dark roast, but he is very white.
Oh, lily white. Yes, but he is just delicious smelling.
Yeah. As a man, I like the smell of coffee on the beach.

Speaker 2 He beats me up constantly to send me shirts and more beans.

Speaker 2 I never turn down free coffee, especially his coffee because it's delicious. Don't ever do it.

Speaker 2 He sent me recently a bag of mystery coffee and then wrote on it might be horrible did he sends experiments to me too he sends me experiments

Speaker 2 experiments might be horrible it's awesome i love to try it i always do it yeah because sometimes it's in my freezer now i'm scared of it it's delicious it's just coffee yeah it's not gonna taste like liquid

Speaker 2 i mean his all of his coffee tastes delicious none of it none of his coffee tastes like shit You're right. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's why we sell it, Spring Hilljack coffee, exclusively through Last Podcast on the Left. That's why we do this.
That's why we join with them. They have to buy it through our website? No.

Speaker 2 They can go to him and buy it. They can directly.
But don't buy it from him, buy it from us. No.
We get a piece. We have that we're working with.
Yeah, we get a cut. It's a whole thing, Eddie.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a whole merch angle.
I love it. I love it.
Well, reptilian in the morning. I brought it with me when I left town to escape the fire.

Speaker 2 See, what's fun about evacuating is that no one tells you is that when you're in the beginnings of the evacuation, the packing portions, is that one of the truly Sophie's choice.

Speaker 2 I was, we were getting ready to go. We were thinking about going.
We didn't evacuate. We did not end up evacuating.
I only brought 100 DVDs. Well, dude, I started going through my graphic tee.

Speaker 2 So Natalie was like, let's go, let's pack bags, right? So she started going through, and I went upstairs and I started folding and going through my t-shirts. Yeah.
And I have a pile of Meth Syndicate.

Speaker 2 I got a pile of studio house. I got a pile of Mishka.
I got a pile of my assorted other various like horror movie t-shirts of all the years.

Speaker 2 I got my pile of, I have a whole separate drawer of just offensive t-shirts, shirts I can't wear. Yeah.
Like out, right? And then I have all, but then my gym t-shirts.

Speaker 2 But after the world is burned down, I feel like you can start wearing those.

Speaker 2 Yes. You know? Yes.
Cause then I feel like that would give people around me, they would have to respect me, fear me. Exactly.
But I. These mouse Taliban shirts.

Speaker 2 It's one of my favorites.

Speaker 2 But I go into the, and I see all these piles of shirts, and then I just imagine instead, what if I just die here? You know, like, what if instead I just burn alive

Speaker 2 with all of you? You love your shirts. I couldn't, I didn't know what to choose.
I started bringing them down to put them in the car. Obviously, I'm packing the convertible.
Natalie's like, no.

Speaker 2 We're not taking the convertible. No, you can't take the convertible because of the roof.

Speaker 2 It's super burn up. It's super fragile.
Yeah, and it's small. I'm not built for this.
No. I'm not built for the fire.
Welcome to Side Stories. How you doing? I'm here.
What's going on? I'm Henry.

Speaker 2 Still alive. Lightly toasted.
Lightly singed with Ed Larson. You did evacuate.
Yeah, I brought my Quince shirts and I brought my Raycons. Absolutely.
And I also. I brought Audible.com.

Speaker 2 And I just want to say thank you. Thank you to Storyworth for asking me if I wanted to contribute my LA Fire story to my Story Worth account.

Speaker 2 So I just want to say thank you so much for that.

Speaker 2 I do genuinely want to thank the LAFD. Yes.

Speaker 2 I'm a New Yorker born and bred.

Speaker 2 I lived there till I, like, you know, but literally more bred than born. You absolutely.
You are fat. You are carbs.
I cut you off.

Speaker 2 I did it first. Yeah, yeah.
I roasted me first. Yeah.
But I, you know, disagreed with your weight gain. Thank you.

Speaker 2 But for so long, NYFD, they've held the moniker of America's superheroes ever because of 9-11, which I, you know, fine.

Speaker 2 That's NYFD. Yes.
But the LAFD. They took the 9-11 from New York.
And we brought it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's right. And so I just want to say thank you to the people that are out there fighting these fires.
These guys are beautiful pussy-eating firemen. They're eating pussy.

Speaker 2 They're sucking dick. Yeah,

Speaker 2 when they run out of water, they're making these chicks squirt.

Speaker 2 You to fires to put out the fire. It's crazy.
Just the call for that. Did you see that on Craigslist looking for squirters? Yeah.
Lieutenant is looking for squirters. I love you.
That was amazing.

Speaker 2 And then you see. I sent my wife but she didn't it's so hard to get her to go you got to get her relax i with the fires it's so hard to get them to relax

Speaker 2 is it because they got one big guy it's it there's one florida there's one fire department lieutenant who's just got one large index finger and he just goes through he's he says i don't like this i have a wife and he just makes them squirt they squirt all over the fires but the when we were the first fire that came out really close to our house was the one of the fires on the sunset ridge they knocked it it out in like fucking

Speaker 2 it was just, I can't say thank you enough to allow us to continue to be here to work. Yes.

Speaker 2 Thank you, the LAFD.

Speaker 2 They have saved, they must have saved millions of lives over the last couple of days. And everything that they're just, it's crazy what they're doing.
So we just want to say thank you.

Speaker 2 And it's been obviously very scary in Los Angeles, but we have been using the power of laughter in our own homes. That's right.
And our wives are thankful, aren't they?

Speaker 2 They're so happy about what we did, which was nothing, really.

Speaker 2 You bought a bunch of gear. I did.
I bought, wait till you see my shit. Yeah, I'm happy.
Henry's ready for the next fire. He wasn't prepared for this one.
No, no, but now I am.

Speaker 2 I have bought a full-on, I bought two gas masks.

Speaker 2 I bought a military-grade headlamp. Yeah.
I bought a

Speaker 2 shit. Dude, I'm going to scare the fuck out of my neighbors.
I just came down. Wait, you know, you could buy a full-on hazmat suit on, like, you could just buy one.

Speaker 2 I went and looked at it. I got into the world of safety

Speaker 2 spraying their house in a hazmat suit

Speaker 2 sorry i'm just checking to see if you guys got loser disease

Speaker 2 but no we got i got all this now dog i'm a fucking i'm ready yeah dude i gotta get something i got like one i got a solar powered like lamp yeah

Speaker 2 it's like what am i gonna just gotta leave this outside yeah and wait for it to work solar powered it's annoying yeah i definitely regretted my decision the moment I got home and it was dark out.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, oh, there's no sun for the solar lamp. But normally, but if you leave it out during the day, it will charge.
Yeah. And then it charges during the day during aftertimes.

Speaker 2 So I'm just littering my yard now. Yeah.
But what's also just amazing is the power of just like it's, I just know that everywhere I go, I'm covered in retardant. Yes.
Oh my God. So much retardant.

Speaker 2 The retardant that I even have in my home, because I bought some home retardant. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Luckily, you know, I already have some home retardant. Yes.
Yeah. Yeah.
And she's going to leave soon.

Speaker 2 It's like that, Rob?

Speaker 2 I'm not my wife. I'm not talking about my wife.
I'm just saying it's just nice that it's in the lexicon. It's a different word.
Yeah, totally different word. Yeah, it's extremely.

Speaker 2 Yeah, what do you think we're talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm saying about the fact that there is a, it's just nice that it's in the news a lot.

Speaker 2 The word retardant. It's just said retardant.
Yeah. It's just said over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.
And to the point of. Every time, just a little.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you know because

Speaker 2 we're traumatized, okay? Yeah, I can't help it. I'm laughing.
All right, I got to laugh at something. Something had to make me happy.
Yeah, and it can't, and that's what made me laugh. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 2 My little quiet little laugh. Yeah, my blanket.

Speaker 2 My retardant blanket. Oh, yes.
Yeah, that's stuck in the corner.

Speaker 2 It's going to affect. It's going to affect some of it.
And it's going to, you have to, you'll get away. It's got to stay dry.

Speaker 2 But otherwise, we're here. We, D, I've read all the various conspiracy theories.
All of them are incorrect. Thank you, everyone, for making us, you know, look stupid.
I appreciate that.

Speaker 2 What do you mean? All the, you know, the theories of why we caught on fire instead of just knowing that it's a disaster. The one thing I will say is, we're the witches on this.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Witches go after every other thing, right? They've been talking about how, like, they can't hex Trump because he's got some warlock charm or something. And I've seen that excuse.

Speaker 2 Where are the witches on the wind? I feel if anybody takes it. But they like fire.

Speaker 2 Witches, like, I know that they get burnt at the stake they party at fire and it's also they reclaim the fire which is take the fire back for themselves you know which stands for what woman in total control of herself oh is that true no oh my mom bought a calendar though for Natalie and then she showed me she was like I just bought this calendar for Natalie and oh god Henry Thomas as soon as I saw it I knew I knew what it said.

Speaker 2 And it's a picture of a woman with her shirt off and it says witch, woman in total control of herself on the front of it. But she still has to, you know, rely on a calendar.
Well, yeah.

Speaker 2 You know, it's not her total control. But it's her calendar.
Yeah, I know, but still, like, days are going to happen. Time's going to happen.
You're not in total control.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but you're just talking about a woman in total separation from reality. Yeah,

Speaker 2 that is a whister. That's called a whister.
A woman in total separation from reality. I've met quite a bit of those.

Speaker 2 Like the lady that runs the yoga honey bee store down the street that is funneling millions of dollars into a storefront for no reason. Oh, you know what? Yeah, they would not like forest fires.

Speaker 2 Yes, you're correct. No, no, no, no, witches don't.
But I'm saying witches could talk to wind. I thought.
I thought we had a giant

Speaker 2 giant cauldron.

Speaker 2 For what?

Speaker 2 For the fire, for the witches. No, Eddie.
Eddie. What? Ed Larson.
What happened? I'm saying, I'm talking about the wind. The witches need to talk to the wind.
Yeah. And have the wind stand down.

Speaker 2 Why don't the witches talk to the wind? And why can't the witches make rain? I know that, Marguerite, our favorite.

Speaker 2 Marjorie Taylor Green did ask that the people with the weather machine please send rain to Los Angeles.

Speaker 2 Why aren't you getting her? That's the first time I've ever agreed with her. Yeah.
Which is where are the weather machine people on this? Yeah. Right.
Like, just squirt at it.

Speaker 2 I thought, aren't you trying to fucking honestly, I thought that you guys in your cabal were trying to hide the powerful witch pedophiles in Los Angeles.

Speaker 2 How are we going to do that if we burn her live? Yes. All right.
You have to stop it. So someone's got to come.
Deep State needs to stop this.

Speaker 2 Maybe all the brooms burned up because they're so flammable and then the witches weren't able to control the wind because all the brooms were gone. No, the broom's their car.

Speaker 2 You've seen the bumper stickers. Yeah.

Speaker 2 My other car is a broom.

Speaker 2 These women are totally in control of themselves. They could go on the bus and take their witches' bus.
Public transportation witches?

Speaker 2 Witches most probably. Honestly, it's better for the environment.
It is better for the environment.

Speaker 2 I'm just saying, side stories l potl gmail.com where are you witches where are the witches on this let's handle some of these elements because obviously either

Speaker 2 besides the space jews that are running the lasers or just the government themselves that are half reptilian we don't know who's not turning on the weather machines properly or not sending them not calibrating them so we need the witches to take over if you would thank you

Speaker 2 um and we do want to say uh we want to extend our apologies to atlanta because we had to postpone the shows. It was because we literally could not get out of the city.

Speaker 2 We did not know if our homes were going to burn to the ground. And then it was snowing there anyway, and it would have been a total disaster if we went.

Speaker 2 So we're coming back June 28th and 29th, respectively.

Speaker 2 Both shows are rescheduled, and we will be there with our shirts off. It's going to be hot.
It's going to be extremely hot. But I love Atlanta in the summertime.
It is spicy, spicy, my friend.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm excited to go back.

Speaker 2 But we will be in Dallas on the 22nd, so make sure you come check that out. Please do.
Please do. And also, we got another update.
This is a good update. What's this update? So, this is an email.

Speaker 2 I got this. This is just sort of, I think that this is going to end this saga about this Nebraska.
Oh, yeah, I need to know about this.

Speaker 2 So, this is a story that we're covering the highway furniture placer.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so the last two episodes, we've been covering the story about this, this, apparently, this series of activity going on in Bennington, Nebraska, where

Speaker 2 an object is found on the road, a car swerves to avoid the object, crashes, and then a mysterious person comes up to the car, offers aid that seems like they've been waiting and watching ever since.

Speaker 2 Now, there's several people that have said over and over again that they believe that they saw the same man do this multiple times over four different crashes, right?

Speaker 2 So, that's kind of where it ended. It was mystery.

Speaker 2 And then, last week, we covered how this same, whoever this guy is, has been calling and pretending to be one of the people inside of the crashes, has been calling the local news in Bennington and saying, please stop covering this story in a super weird way.

Speaker 2 Yes. Right? Very strange.
And this is the email I got. So, and I think...
We don't know. No one says this.
You know, we don't know anything about this information.

Speaker 2 We don't know if this is true or not. Absolutely not, but I'm sharing it anyway, but with the warning of we have no idea, but it does seem to explain.

Speaker 2 It makes sense. It fits.
It tracks. So I'm from Bennington.
The population there is less than 2,000 people. I knew someone would know something.

Speaker 2 I messaged some of my friends, and here's the information I gathered. Almost everyone in Bennington knows who the guy is that is doing this.
I had six people send me his name.

Speaker 2 I'm not going to include his name because of the rest of this email, but he went to the local high school. He's about 23, 24 years old.
Apparently, he has a form of mental disability.

Speaker 2 He wanders around Bennington largely unsupervised. Some of my friends said he was a nice guy, just kind of odd.
Others said he's kind of dangerous. Allegedly, he might wander into people's yards.

Speaker 2 he's been known to go into people's homes the doors are unlocked apparently and he's also apparently threatened to kill a girl's boyfriend after the girl turned him down for a date so now what they're saying is they believe that the police probably know who this person is and are treading lightly because technically they've committed no crimes is it it's a crime to put something in the middle of the road we don't know if they did that

Speaker 2 no one saw them doing it no so we don't know if they are so right now they have not committed any crimes right now they're just being a weirdo at various spots and there's nothing illegal but being a weirdo well what should they do to this guy to stop him from doing this probably i would uh yell at him right i'd give him a yelling yeah yeah yeah they gotta go they got it but that's that's hometown that's real policing yeah that's like when a cop can just go we don't need to arrest the guy we don't need the stuff you just go over there just go hey whoa hey i know what you're doing That's what that's how you handle it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, absolutely. Or being like, wait, listen, Quincy.
I'm calling him Quincy. Quincy.
Hey, Quincy.

Speaker 2 All right, you got to stop being a Looky Lou, because if not. No more ice cream.
No more. It's illegal for you to have ice cream.

Speaker 2 And we'll tell all the ice cream shops around town, no more ice cream, Quincy.

Speaker 2 I'm going to tell the gas station guy you can't have ice cream. Yeah.
I'm also, you know what else? I'm going to take away your roly hot dogs. Shit, serious.
Yeah. Okay, Quincy?

Speaker 2 All right, so what I need you to do is, first of all, put some clothes on. Please.
All right. It's going to be cold.
It's winter. It's cold as hell.
All right. It is Nebraska.

Speaker 2 And the second thing I'm gonna need you to do is you bring that smile over here because, God, I love you, Quincy. Jimmy Bean.
Give me a hug. Give me some tongue.

Speaker 2 I love this scenario.

Speaker 2 Bennington, Nebraska. Where you can tongue kiss your local different man because it's polite to do it.

Speaker 2 He's just a different kind of man.

Speaker 2 And then we have a...

Speaker 2 So we don't know. Again, that could be completely false, but it's fun.

Speaker 2 And that's really all we're here for, isn't it? Yeah. So now Green Beret,

Speaker 2 I asked last time about the Green Berets, what's the difference between Green Berets and SEALs? Long story short, I got a great email that was someone who was a beret sister.

Speaker 2 So I can believe that someone who's a

Speaker 2 sister to a Green Beret. Okay.
Related to a Green Beret. That's close enough.
And basically have said that Green Beret training is.

Speaker 2 SEAL training, but intelligence. So I thought this was really a SEAL train, a SEAL friend of hers, a Navy SEAL.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Described the differences between the Green Beret and the SEALs in this way.

Speaker 2 A SEAL is going to sneak into your village at night, break down your door, do what they need to, then disappear into the night to return to base and shower.

Speaker 2 The Green Berets move into your village, learn the language and customs, become a member of the community, then break your door down and do what they have to do before disappearing into the night and move to another village, rinse and repeat.

Speaker 2 So they are the, they're intense. They're a more intelligence-driven version of the SEALs.
Technically, it seems that the berets are, uh, they are sort of above the seals, but I did not know that.

Speaker 2 It's very interesting. That's very interesting.
I like Green Berets more now. Oh, I do too, because they, they have a lot of people.
I thought it was a seal guy, but, you know, it's just brute force.

Speaker 2 Yeah, obviously. And obviously, you know, also, anybody that can snag Heidi Klum gets a couple points in my book.
Amen. Amen.
Miss that song.

Speaker 2 Miss him so much. Absolute.
What happened to him? Who, it's Seal? Yeah. I think he was on tour last year.
Oh, yeah? Yeah, he's still doing his thing. Kiss him a rose is a big hit.
I love that song.

Speaker 2 People love that shit. He's handsome.
I think he's handsome.

Speaker 2 Do you want to get to a regular news? Oh, is there a drone update? No. No one knows, right? It's over.
We reached out to Napp to talk drones.

Speaker 2 He says, I'm no expert, but we are going to follow up with him. We are going to be talking about with, because we're like, oh, you're not? Yeah, the why is it? Oh, you're not? I'm not calling you.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. And so we are going to talk with him about drones.
But we don't know.

Speaker 2 No, we don't know jack shit. Nothing happened.
No one knows about the drones. Even the top UFO guys don't know shit about the drones.
I'm still getting

Speaker 2 footage. Yeah.
So people still see them, but it's just not at the level that it was. It hit a peak.
It's a flap. No one cares anymore.
They call it a flap for a reason.

Speaker 2 They were flying drones over the fires, and they couldn't fucking fly the... planes to dump the water because people are flying drones taking video footage of the fires.
Yeah, people are stupid.

Speaker 2 But also, Los Angeles is a town of creatives.

Speaker 2 Yes, so as soon as you give us something to take pictures of we're gonna take a lot of pictures of oh my god how many furious fire screen plays were written this weekend oh dude there's so many just like the guy being like how many fire how many things about like a story about the fire killing his his ugly wife and then he gets to go be with a 20 year old like professional diver and you know and then he's like that's one story and my big thing is i'm waiting for the movie about the drag racing that was happening Tuesday and Wednesday when the storm was happening.

Speaker 2 Because all the cops were gone. Everybody was gone.
The city was on fire and people were just drag racing up and down the one-on-one.

Speaker 2 That did sound fun. That did sound insane.
But it does, it did, because it was the first time I heard Natalie. She's like, I can't believe they're drag racing.

Speaker 2 I was like, they're the freest guys I know.

Speaker 2 To be honest, if I wasn't locked down,

Speaker 2 I'd be right with them, man, with the flag. Yeah, at least they were drag racing away from the fire.
Yeah, dude. I'd be wearing my little crop top.
Like, what's her name?

Speaker 2 What was the girlfriend in Fast and Furious? Michelle. Michelle Rodriguez.
That's me. She had a bad attitude.
She was. She was a little bit sour-faced, but that's what made her sexy.
Yes. Oh, no, no.

Speaker 2 Very productive. I liked her because of her bad attitude.
We all did. Yeah.
That's why people liked her. She was the furious.
She was. She was the furious.
Yeah, she really was. Life from York Lake.

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All right, let's do this first story about body parts.

Speaker 2 Oh, this is probably my favorite story of the week. All right, so this is from the Wichita Eagle.

Speaker 2 Wesley Medical Center, you're on notice.

Speaker 2 Wichita man stole human body parts and fetal corpses. Fetal corpses.
Fetal corpses. When he worked at the Wesley Medical Center, and then he sold them to somebody he met online.

Speaker 2 He was sentenced Thursday to 18 months in prison. Now, what's really shocking about this story, I think.
To me, both of us landed on the same thing. Same thing.
It's just so many things.

Speaker 2 So this guy, he pleaded guilty to June.

Speaker 2 This this is the guy angelo pereira yeah he did it uh they did fetal corpses and a partial foot a human heart slices of liver brain kidneys a spleen okay a foot intestine pieces oh it's a testicle is there sides just so

Speaker 2 he's a jar of toes well cute uh skin and fat dried toes and miscellaneous other organs. So he sold it to this other guy, right?

Speaker 2 Oh, he sold this to this guy, a guy by the name of Insanian. His name is literally Insanian.

Speaker 2 What is his first name?

Speaker 2 I don't have it right now. I'm sorry.
Andrew Insanian, right? That is this guy. That is the guy who bought it all.
Yeah. And so we looked at all the stuff.
We was like, that's fucking crazy.

Speaker 2 Because obviously, this is something that would make Marcus Drool. Yeah, I know.
I'm surprised he's not a suspect.

Speaker 2 He's talked about getting human remains before. I don't know how I got them, but this is one of those where you go and like, they bought whole fetuses.
Entire.

Speaker 2 You're talking two-wing, two-legged, dark, and white meat. Yeah.
This is, we're buying whole fetuses, right?

Speaker 2 Guess what the bill was?

Speaker 2 I mean, I know the answer, but I. Guess what the bill was? If I were to guess, tell me.

Speaker 2 Like an actual guess for that list that I just gave. All right, we got partial foot, two baby, two dead babies, a human heart, slices of liver, brain, kidneys, the whole thing.

Speaker 2 You got the whole tasting menu. I would guess $250,000.
Wow. That's what I would guess.
Yeah, right? Yeah. $5,000.
I was going to say that. Dude, that's nothing.

Speaker 2 That's so cheap.

Speaker 2 This guy, he got caught because he sold to the first better. Yeah, dude.
He got lowballed. Yeah, man.
And he did it over PayPal.

Speaker 2 He did it over PayPal and Facebook Market. And then he sent it through the postal store.
He sent it through the postal store. He insured the packages.

Speaker 2 I can't believe that 50 grand. A fetus.
Just one fetus alone, 20 grand. I thought, but you know what? Honestly, I just think that they're a lot easier to get than we think it is.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, apparently. Because he squeezed them out.
Like, he got them from the medical center. He stole them right from the, whatever the, the, the waste area.

Speaker 2 He stole them from wherever they were keeping them to study them. Yeah.
And then just like, also, I will say to the N Sani and the guy who bought them, how do you know what you're getting?

Speaker 2 I mean, I think that's why he was was able to pay so little. Wow.
Yeah. But what do you do? You taste it? What do you do? You lick it? You smell it? How do you become a fetus? How do you buy it?

Speaker 2 What do you do with a dead fetus besides play football with it? Like, what else do you do? Is it just to keep your papers down on your desk? You put it in a jar and it's a conversation piece.

Speaker 2 You see that? Yeah. Dead fetus.
Yeah, it goes on the... You be the lady on the date.
You don't put it on the coffee table, but the side table or a shelf.

Speaker 2 I couldn't help but notice your eyes were wandering to my dead fetus. You see that over there? Yes, that's my dead fetus, Quincy.
Yeah, would you like to make another?

Speaker 2 Would you?

Speaker 2 Because there's nothing I like better than contributing to the collection of a genius. Ooh, that's so nice.
Right? The best part about a fetus is that it's only in you for a little bit.

Speaker 2 Do you mind if I take my pussy out? If we would, honestly, I'd prefer to do it outside. I'm so horny looking at the fetus.
Yes, I know you are, as am I.

Speaker 2 Oh, my delectable little petal.

Speaker 2 Oh, my delicious fruit basket. Oh, I love you.
Ah, yes.

Speaker 2 I'm attracted to you. Kiss my fetus.
Kiss Kinsey. Why is you

Speaker 2 just a Ford Tempo? Because I am the most on the move. I'm the most brave man there is.
I can't be fouled. I cannot be allowed to be pinned down, my dear.
Kiss my fetus.

Speaker 2 You know what else drove me crazy about this whole thing? Is he's going to get 18 months in prison. Yep.
And then when he gets out, they're like, and 50 hours community service.

Speaker 2 And from, and you better be what? And you better listen.

Speaker 2 That's a full week of work. And you listen to time.
If you even think about selling another pile of fetuses, it's all going to happen all over again, buddy. All right.
So you be careful. All right.

Speaker 2 You have to wait till you do this literally three times before I do a significant sentence to you, buddy. All right.
So you get this next one, yes.

Speaker 2 You get one more, but then the next one.

Speaker 2 Come on, it's just like, what is that 50 hours? 2,000 hours. That's significant time.
Do you think it's at a daycare center so we could see what happens to a fetus if it blossoms?

Speaker 2 Do you think it'll be when he takes it? Because a fetus is not, I barely even think a fetus is a baby. I don't think someone, I don't think someone's a person until they're like 16.
Yeah. Oh my God.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I'd say 24.
I don't think they count. 16 is garbage.
Yeah, it's bad. You know, bad year.
27 to to me is like a real number. That's when I get a lot of people.

Speaker 2 That's a good number. We can even start considering you.
It's because you haven't killed yourself by drugs then. You haven't found drugs cool enough to die by 27.

Speaker 2 That means by 28, you might be over it. Yeah.
No, exactly. I mean, that's what happened to me.
Yep. By the time I was 28, I was done doing drugs.

Speaker 2 Well, except for mushrooms and weed and asses and boobs. Molly.
Sometimes. No, no, I don't like the molly.
But you would if you got all. When I was 28, I did.
Yes, you did.

Speaker 2 So this is one story.

Speaker 2 Nothing learned anything from that. No, but they, you know, this guy did steal fetuses and body parts.
What does the guy who bought it get?

Speaker 2 He's also in trouble. He doesn't say that he...
Did he get any talent? They didn't say that he got, they didn't tell us his

Speaker 2 actual sentence, but he's going to get in trouble too. It sounds like he also threw the other guy under the story.
Does he get in trouble in Wichita or Pennsylvania where he's from?

Speaker 2 Or is it now a federal case once across the state lines? Side stories, L-P-O-T-L. At gmail.com.
No idea. It might be bigger.
It might be connected to like a trafficking whole thing.

Speaker 2 I mean, there's obviously a website that they went to. They arrested some other guy who also

Speaker 2 had body parts. Same guy.
And they think he may be connected.

Speaker 2 Holy shit. These guys are all connected.

Speaker 2 This came from stories we covered like years ago. Well, there was a lot of people.
Where they were washing body parts. There was a guy from Harvard who stole human remains.
That's a fancy guy.

Speaker 2 These are low-level guys. This is a guy that we covered also in side stories.
This is not the first time. We've covered these in Arizona.
We've covered these in Harvard.

Speaker 2 We covered these in Pennsylvania. These are stories there.
This is really not, strangely enough, it's not that uncommon. If you are going to buy

Speaker 2 body parts on the internet, you're talking to a CIA agent. Not here.
Actually, I think that you'd be surprised because a lot of it's pretty either innocuous or mixed within other taxidermies.

Speaker 2 And a lot of that stuff, no one's doing that in writing. Most people are not buying human bodies

Speaker 2 unless you are actively trying to buy an organ, which is something that people do, right? Like people can go, you can buy an organ to put inside of you.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, that's, I mean, you know, that should be allowed, I guess. They found five-gallon buckets of human remains in this guy's house.

Speaker 2 This is the guy with the two, he's got one side of his face tattooed and one of his eyeballs. Jeremy Polly.
He did two years of community service, of probation. God, he'd be such a scary volunteer.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. That's a scary volunteer.
I'm here to fold your goodwill goodwill clothes. Yes, anybody who shows up looking like a Githianke from Baldur's Gate 3 is very frightening.
You're balder.

Speaker 2 Baldur's Gate 3 references are getting out of hand. I'm just fucking.
People don't know what the fuck it is. They do, though.
No, they don't. The people do.

Speaker 2 There are some people, sure, but I have no idea what you're talking about.

Speaker 2 You're referencing something. I no clue what you're talking about.

Speaker 2 I get into hyperfixations, and it's the only thing that I can talk about about certain things because the rest of my time is spent working, researching for the work. Aliens is okay.

Speaker 2 You can reference Aliens, but Baldur's Gate 3 is as good as anybody else.

Speaker 2 But Baldur's Gate 3. We have a lot of Baldur's Gate people.
I have a lot of Baldur's Gate people. Who are they? What is this? Is this all the characters in Baldur's Gate? Yes.
Get this off the screen.

Speaker 2 I won't do this. I don't want this.
This has nothing to do with anything. But it is very cool.
I'm glad you have a hobby. Keep it there.
I need to have one. Yes.
Keep it there.

Speaker 2 I need to do something that is not body camera. I'm not going to be able to do it.
What about your gear? I like the gear. Yes.
You know, but anything, you know, but Baldur's Gate. But my whole life,

Speaker 2 you can't make a hobby out of fire gear. I don't want to hear...
Do you hear me talk about my fruit game that I play on my phone? That's different. That's different.

Speaker 2 I play my fruit game. It's not boring.
I kissed. I got 80,000 points on my kid.
I kissed a girl in my game. You kissed a girl in your game.
I kissed a girl

Speaker 2 in my game.

Speaker 2 Big watermelon. Got to play it.
It's a great game. It's on my phone, and I connect the watermelons, and then all the other fruit disappears, and I could start all over.

Speaker 2 It's like Tetris, but it's all fruit. See, it's stupid.
No one cares about your games. See, for me, though, I think people are going to love that.
People like Paul Translators.

Speaker 2 They're going to like Harry Matt. They do like all of us.
They like every bit of this.

Speaker 2 All right. Here's a go.
This is another one that I have a question about. All right.

Speaker 2 Patascala. We're in good old-fashioned Ohio.

Speaker 2 Did you, this place? Oh, I just watched the Jerry Springer documentary on Netflix. Did you watch this? No.

Speaker 2 It's good.

Speaker 2 I was busy watching Natalia Grace, which is stupid. Yeah, now we're in that jump the shark, is for sure.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and so, but they call they think called the Springer Triangle is what they called, which was from Ohio to Kentucky to Atlanta, which is where they got all of their guests.

Speaker 2 They joked about this thing, but it's like they get all of their guests, but they called the Springer trials in Tennessee, Ohio. It's very funny.
Okay, that makes a lot of sense.

Speaker 2 It's very interesting. Also, the documentary really shows.
I actually thought that Jerry Springer came up with the whole thing. He didn't.
No. Where was it filmed? In Chicago.

Speaker 2 Oh, it was filmed in Chicago. Yeah, but it's interesting.
Well, back to this. So Patascala, this woman in Ohio.
This woman was mauled and killed by her neighbor's pigs on Christmas Day. On Christmas.

Speaker 2 Now, Rebecca Vestergault, 75 of Patascala, she got attacked by two pigs that were roaming near her house. Now, when they came to her house, there was a welfare

Speaker 2 pigs. They weren't roaming as much as they were.
They were store pigs. But this is what I just don't particularly understand.

Speaker 2 So when they arrived, the police first thought that she had been partially eaten by the pigs. Now, we've heard this before, obviously, with Robert Picton, and we've heard this before.

Speaker 2 People have disposed of bodies using pigs because pigs will just eat anything that's in them. But that's different.
Yes, these are pigs attacking.

Speaker 2 Yes, these are pigs going, and these aren't wild pigs, these are domesticated pigs, farm pigs. And so, they found her.

Speaker 2 They first thought that she'd been eaten, but then they looked at her and they're like, No, it looked like they just kind of chewed her up.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and then they just bled the fuck out of her and killed her. But my question is:

Speaker 2 why, what would make a random ass pig attack somebody? Because wild boars and wild pigs, apparently, they killed more people a year than sharks. That makes sense.

Speaker 2 I believe that. Wild pigs are extremely dangerous, but just farm-raised pigs, like, I don't know what would cause them to go crazy like that.
Well, we don't know how these pigs were kept. You know,

Speaker 2 there's lots of unanswered questions in this article. But do pigs get angry and then go take revenge against the world? Is there a fucking John Oink?

Speaker 2 I mean, is he going out there to go fucking systematically bring his revenge against the nation? They're a pig, man. A pig can get like 400 pounds.
I'm not doubting a pig's ability.

Speaker 2 I'm doubting its motive. I'm doubting its train of thought.
Well, at Christmas, maybe they got angry about a ham. Or maybe they're...
This is ham time. How crazy would it be to be Jewish pig?

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. Think about that.

Speaker 2 Just your anachronism life. Everywhere you go, even when

Speaker 2 they kick you you out of the synagogue. Yeah, you can't even, you can't have, you can't go to the deli.
They kick you out of the fucking Annie Bob Misfah, you're poisoning them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 You think that you don't think that there's not Jewish pigs on Christmas Day? They don't feel left out and think that maybe, just maybe,

Speaker 2 something's got to be done about this? Yeah. Because what have we learned from Animal Farm? Yeah, they say some pigs are more, some animals are more equal than others.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So maybe these,

Speaker 2 to be honest, these extremely

Speaker 2 subjugated Jewish pigs are

Speaker 2 they're screaming for help well people say it was Christmas but it was also the first day of Hanukkah

Speaker 2 wow there's no excuse yeah

Speaker 2 there's no excuse at all for those Jewish pigs to have done this to this woman yeah and I think that that's disgusting yeah and I'm upset but I don't think that the Jewish people themselves should be blamed I think we should look at the pigs and I think that we should really just blame these specific pigs.

Speaker 2 Yeah, these two and the guy who owned the pigs, obviously he didn't, he wasn't able to keep them locked up.

Speaker 2 But he's not training them to kill. No, he's not, but he's reckless, obviously.
What's reckless about it? It killed his neighbor. It's pigs.
Yes. But why did he think these are pigs?

Speaker 2 If they were Rottweilers, he'd be in trouble. Correct.
Because Rottweilers sometimes kill old women. Because they hate old women.
They really hate them. I talked to some Rottweilers.

Speaker 2 They say some really nasty nasty shit about old shit.

Speaker 2 But that's the thing. Pigs ain't got no quarrel with man because they don't know.
They aren't conscious of it. Pigs are smarter than Rottweilers.
Pigs are smarter than toddlers.

Speaker 2 But then why don't pigs regularly rise up and kill the farmers that are killing them? It makes no sense, Eddie. It'd be cool if they did.
Yeah, sure. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And we probably, to be honest, I'd respect them a lot more and we'd eat less. It's a long game, dude.
The Pink Rivers, dude, they're fucking killing us slowly.

Speaker 2 So you mean to tell me they're just like saying, like, we'll do this the old-fashioned way. Wash going to shit until you're sick.
Oh, I can't go ahead and eat me, buddy.

Speaker 2 But you're going to be, you're going to be

Speaker 2 angry yourself on your deathbed 40 years from now.

Speaker 2 This is what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 Because the cops don't know what to do with it. They're literally, this is an issue.

Speaker 2 Literally, the cops know what to do with a dog. They know what to do with a angry animal.
They don't know what to do with pigs that killed somebody randomly.

Speaker 2 I mean, obviously, you have to put them down.

Speaker 2 and then and then her family should get to eat them the neighborhood the whole i mean it depends on how big the pigs are i mean that's the only thing is that it's not like if it was done by tiny pigs that'd be ridiculous i mean sure yes yeah yeah but also those teacup pigs what do we i mean this lady had it coming because i kind of think we're in the area you know when they've said like you know how they said how like it was like something in 2024 something like toddlers killed like 150 people yes with guns or something like we some crazy statistic yeah well yeah yeah yeah

Speaker 2 so it's like the pigs. The thing is that when the toddler kills somebody, it's super fucking sad.
You can't really do anything about it. You can't eat them.
Toddler, you know, toddlers don't get jail.

Speaker 2 It doesn't do anything from jail because technically they're supposed to be in what's called a play pen. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But pigs.

Speaker 2 They're in charge. But when you, when you, when a pig does a crime,

Speaker 2 that's the most delicious punishment of all. Internal affairs.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 And the internal affairs has to understand is that they have to get the internal affairs to actually make sure the temperature has to be 165 for it to be okay to eat. Yes.

Speaker 2 Now, but that's, I just wonder what was happening here. Yeah, feral swine.
We were talking about the feral swine. That's all these, it's a feral swine.
This isn't feral swine.

Speaker 2 We're talking about domesticated pigs. Friendly pigs.

Speaker 2 They associate people with food sometimes. So it could cause...
But only if they've eaten people before. Well, if they're just really hungry.
They didn't eat this woman. They bit this woman.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they killed. They just fucking.
And she bled to death. they assassinated this woman.
There was an incorrect report that they did eat part of her, but they did not.

Speaker 2 So, that doesn't explain at all why they kill them for the thrill of it. What are they? They just do the natural board.
They killed her for the thrill of it. She probably was yelling at the pigs.

Speaker 2 She saw them running around on Christmas. Blaming the woman.
Fuck out of here, pigs. Blaming the fucking woman.
I'm not blaming her. I'm just saying how it happened.

Speaker 2 You're saying that the woman asked for it.

Speaker 2 I did not say that she asked for it. Yes, you did.
She did yelled at the pigs.

Speaker 2 She said, Yes, she could have yelled at the pigs and then caused the pigs stress. And then the pigs killed her.
I'm not saying it's her fault. If I saw two loose pigs, I'd yell at them.

Speaker 2 Would you not yell at two pigs running up in your yard?

Speaker 2 I'd silently stab them to death. I'd silently.

Speaker 2 To be honest,

Speaker 2 honestly, truly, I'd leave the house. If there were two pigs ran up into your yard? Yeah.
We just shut the door. Yeah.
If they're in the yard. She was trying to leave.
That was the problem.

Speaker 2 Eddie, she went to the pigs. She had no reason.
You just closed the door. Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, you know, you definitely closed the door. I mean, I would probably want to play a little bit of them.
I like pigs so much. I'd want to kiss them and

Speaker 2 sniff them and bring them up to scale. I've always wanted to slap a pig in the tush.
I know it's not right, but I always just wanted to give it a little.

Speaker 2 Here, you're not punishing it. You're flirting with it.
Yeah.

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Speaker 2 You know, the pigs could have helped with this other situation we got here.

Speaker 2 This happened in mobile.

Speaker 2 And it was only on Reddit. This isn't an actual story.
No, this is not an actual story. No,

Speaker 2 this is sent in to us. And I love our listeners.
We are really trying to, I want to say thank you to the several people that sent us the stories about the piles of whole peeled bananas. Appreciate it.

Speaker 2 The various other piles. Listen, we are trying to move away from pile-based news only just because we were just so we've done it.
I was flabbergasted now that I know how regular it is.

Speaker 2 It's not even interesting to me anymore. It's passed.
But we also haven't been asked about Soup Gate. It seems to also pass.
It has calmed down.

Speaker 2 It's calmed down, but I think there is still random soup being dropped occasionally. But we need to find, we will circle back on that.
But our boy Drew is doing good.

Speaker 2 He's volunteering at the animal shelter these days. That's great.
Yeah. That's really, really nice.
Yeah, he's doing a great job. He's a great human being.
That's really, very, very sweet.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, but this is something else.
So people sent this to us, and we will cover this, but I'm going to debunk this.

Speaker 2 You're debunking this. There's a couple things I don't like about this story.
Yes. And so.
So this comes from Mobile, Alabama.

Speaker 2 Someone wrote, Please tell me this isn't what I think it is.

Speaker 2 Just got back home from work and found the surprise on my door handle.

Speaker 2 I don't know what it looks like and I can't make an educated guess on what it is. Can someone please explain to me what the fuck is going on? Do I need to call the police?

Speaker 2 And then what the picture shows is a pile of what you could

Speaker 2 probably what seems to be

Speaker 2 semen. A bunch of cum now this is an extremely generous pile of semen.
Yes. If it is indeed yeah so this woman This is a week is a week and a half backed up.
So this woman says, oh, what is this?

Speaker 2 And the entire, obviously, then the Reddit community turns into an entire long thing

Speaker 2 about how to kill the person that's done this. Yes.
No, that is become that. I was like, all right, what are we reading here? Why was this given to me as a story?

Speaker 2 And then I'm going through the Reddit comments, and it's just like, you need a gun. What kind of gun? You get a handgun.
You can just get a handgun in one day.

Speaker 2 Well, maybe you should just get a shotgun that doesn't work. That way you can just pump it.
And it's like, why would you get a shotgun that doesn't work? Because then you can't kill the person.

Speaker 2 And so everyone's just talking about how to just murder this person. Meanwhile, I'm looking at this and I don't think it's come.
I've seen piles of cum, okay? Yeah. I've seen piles of columns.

Speaker 2 I saw pum this morning. You had to because I made it.

Speaker 2 And I will say, what I know about cum is that, yes, it does indeed sit in a pile for a while. Yeah.
But magically, I'm going to say magically, it goes away. It does.

Speaker 2 And often what it does, it slides and it dries into sort of like what I would call a film or I would call a picture of a family that never was.

Speaker 2 This is either fresh and made by the person who took the picture. This is so fresh.
If that is real cum, that

Speaker 2 person's still there. That should be hot.
to the touch if that is real cum.

Speaker 2 I'm looking at this, to be honest, I think it's some some form of epoxy I think that what it could actually be is something even more nefarious have you heard about this what that people can do I've heard that this is also a way to get um it's stuff like how to get a uh

Speaker 2 like I might be entirely fucking this up where you put stuff in like sticky material like if you break off your key inside of a it looks like a hot glue gun it looks like hot glue gun material and I've seen people pour hot glue material like if you break off your key in a lock I've seen seen people pour hot glue gum material into it and then pull out the key after it hardens so this looks like hardened glue versus cum and so and that's my expert analysis yes also i will say um

Speaker 2 they keep calling him the cum bandit He's not a bandit. He's not.
He's not a bandit. He left cum.
If anything, he's the cum like gifter.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the cum bandit is somebody who sucks your dick in the night. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like a guy who sucks your dick in the night and takes that cum out of you and he goes,

Speaker 2 I'm done. Thank you.
Ta-da!

Speaker 2 Oh, TTFN. Oh, ta-da, funal.
And then he jumps out the window. That's a cum bandit.
Right. And you go to that guy, you just go, thank you, sir.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 But to somebody like this, this is, I would say, come lever.

Speaker 2 The delivery. The depositor.
The mailman. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Carman.

Speaker 2 Well, I guess that's double. Yeah.
That's redundant. So I think that this man, so I don't know.
And a lot of people, and I would really say, if you want to know if it's come, taste it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, exactly. We don't know that it's come.
We actually, we don't know that it's come. And also, I don't think

Speaker 2 murder is the proper punishment for someone coming on your door. No.
I would be very upset if someone came on my front door.

Speaker 2 You know, to be honest, truly, you know what I think is an appropriate true punishment? What? Blast them with a fire extinguisher. Ooh, that is a good punishment.
It's non-lethal. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It'll ruin your day. You can knock them out.
It's hard to cum.

Speaker 2 Very hard to cum when you're getting blasted with a fire extinguisher. Unless then you use the material that's left.
Yeah, you see how it's hardened, Rob? Rob is zooming in. Enhance.

Speaker 2 Enhance on the cum. Rob, you used to be a plumber.
I'm sure you had to deal with your fair share of cum. I've never seen anything like this.
See, that's not cum.

Speaker 2 This is not cum.

Speaker 2 All the extra little drips. I don't know.
I'm just looking up.

Speaker 2 All right. I'm just going to look up piles of cum.
I'm doing it on my computer.

Speaker 2 No, I'm doing it on my computer. Thank you.
Doing it on my computer. Thank you for taking this sacrifice.
Piles of cum. Come on, just show it to me, please.

Speaker 2 You turn the safe search off. It says pile.
It just says piles of calm of search. I think you have to write piles of semen, by the way.
I think that's easy.

Speaker 2 What are we? Why do I have to act like a fucking adult? Rob's doing it anyway. No, there's not a lot.

Speaker 2 It's hard to show. Yeah, yeah.
Right. Show me a pile.
What is going on here? I have Googled pile of semen. Where is it? Google.
I know a picture of one exists. Pile is in the right word.

Speaker 2 It's more of a puddle on the ground. Puddle of semen.
There you go. Puddle of cum.
It's my favorite band. Puddles of semen.

Speaker 2 Oh, wow. That really does resist.

Speaker 2 All right. That's changed.
There we go. There we go.
That really changes. This looks like what we're looking at.
That really, really changes. The pixels are too low on this.

Speaker 2 Is this not Shutterfly? It is. Shutterstock.
Shutterstock. That doesn't look like it.
That's not cum. That's not cum.
That's not cum.

Speaker 2 Yeah. All right, Robbie.

Speaker 2 We can stop looking at cum, I guess. The problem is it's all the undersides of dip shit.
If you want to see cum, you obviously got to move to Alabama. Why is there no puddles of semen pictures? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Why is there none? Yeah, people don't fucking get off on that. What's going on?

Speaker 2 That should be available to us. Side stories, L-P-O-TL, and Gmail.com.
Are you requesting cum pictures? Do not send your cum pictures to SideStory.

Speaker 2 You honestly don't. Don't because if it was just me reading, it'd be different.
People look at that. Yeah, yeah.
If it was just me. Do not read.

Speaker 2 Do not send pictures of Henry.

Speaker 2 I just don't understand.

Speaker 2 I just,

Speaker 2 I'm really upset in a way. DM it to Henry's Instagram.
No, please don't. Dr.
Fantasy.

Speaker 2 That's where you send your come pictures.

Speaker 2 Yes. I just can't believe how many search terms I just did and not a single one came up.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Don't Google that. Google AI is breaking in the internet.
Don't Google it. Yeah.
Nothing happens. Don't Don't Google it because you will hurt your computer.

Speaker 2 Don't Google it because you don't get the right response. You know what I'm angry about this?

Speaker 2 Back in the day, if I wanted to see a picture of piles of cum, like, honestly, there'd be like three dudes I could just call. Yeah.
And it's so crazy to just think that I could go on.

Speaker 2 This is a fucking terabytes of information. Yes.
They've passed on. Yes.

Speaker 2 But terabytes of information are available at my fingertips and I can't see a single picture of cum.

Speaker 2 Man. Wow.
What a sad world. Just video.

Speaker 2 Well, you know where you can see a pile of cum and a lot of mat and waukasha.

Speaker 2 Greatest segue of your career sobriety. I just want to, yeah, let's just do this story real quick because this story is just like, you know, I'm horny, but this is another level.

Speaker 2 This is the horniest woman I've ever seen. And this guy is just, you know, I love so few times is someone just smiling in their mugshot.
He really just doesn't understand. I got caught.
Yeah, sorry.

Speaker 2 So Wakasha man and woman reportedly had sex in the lobby of a county jail who had, they not reportedly, they were on video, but still reportedly had sex in the lobby of a county jail last May, have been charged after they allegedly repeated the conduct at a Wakasha laundromat on Christmas Eve.

Speaker 2 Yes. So now for...
It's already bad enough. You got to do laundry on Christmas Eve.

Speaker 2 And what I love about this, you know what, though I actually kind of find it relaxing as a Satanist, I'm not super religious, but I love Christmas Eve as a a celebratory night.

Speaker 2 Save it for the morning. You can do it on the 26th, too.
So, what I love is just the difference.

Speaker 2 So, it's Desmond Cleveland, 29 years old, who was charged Monday in Waukesha County Circuit Court with a count of disorderly conduct with a penalty enhancer for repeat criminality, right?

Speaker 2 But then, his paramar, the lovely Karen Hill, 67, of Waukesha, has been charged with disorderly conduct as well.

Speaker 2 Now, apparently, what they said was they were at the end of the two counts of bail jumping. Thank you.
I'm sorry, you're right, Eddie. And I also think it's hilarious that it was Flash Laundromat

Speaker 2 on East Broadway in Waukesha. They reported to police December 24th that night.
That's also sad too. It was Christmas Eve night.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 They said that they could see Cleveland and Hill lying under a blanket on the floor of the laundromat. They were engaging

Speaker 2 in movements that seemed akin to sexual intercourse. And they said somebody entered the laundromat who's even sadder than them because at least they were getting laid.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they entered the laundromat. They saw the people.
They just saw bare ankles.

Speaker 2 Just bare ankles

Speaker 2 up to do my laundry. Oh, yeah, it's Christmas.
If I'm doing my laundry on Christmas Eve, a lot of shit's also kind of gone wrong in a way. Yeah, so it's just like, whatever it is.

Speaker 2 If people are fucking at the laundromat, I don't think I care enough to report it. Oh, I would just, but yeah, well, we're because we're from New York, yeah.
So, I'm just and why

Speaker 2 at least they're like fucking in a place that's filled with soap. Well, the problem was the guy that they they

Speaker 2 the guy the owner of the laundromat comes in he has to stop other customers are coming in and he has to go like stop it all they all say but what i loved was desmond cleveland's excuse which is hey

Speaker 2 sex happens that's right and so sex happens

Speaker 2 not only is sex happens it happened in the lobby of a fucking county jail to be true the bigger story this is crazy why are we talking about a laundromat when they got caught fucking in the lobby of a jail he just said things were getting flirtatious.

Speaker 2 He said in the laundromat, things were super flirtatious. They weren't fully full penetrated yet.
And instead, apparently, he went to go pick up his girlfriend, Karen Hill.

Speaker 2 Emphasis on the girl there, 67 years young.

Speaker 2 They went there and they went and got... picked her up from the jail because she was kicked out of her group home.

Speaker 2 And they said, as they were waiting for to go, when they were going to go to public transportation

Speaker 2 after

Speaker 2 being kicked out of the group home. Fucking on a bus,

Speaker 2 I'm less,

Speaker 2 I'm less accepting of that. Yeah, me too.
But just the idea of like, you could get horny, lubed up enough, naked, under a blanket at the county jail, waiting for the bus is one of the just wildest.

Speaker 2 I've never seen that kind of passion before in my life. Yeah.
That's passion. I've never felt it.
No. No.
What's that like? To feel that?

Speaker 2 Just like look at a jail and be like, we should fuck right here. Just the idea of like, all right, you're gonna be like, okay.
I'm just surprised these people have cars.

Speaker 2 No, I don't think. Oh, no, they don't have cars.
No, no cars here, buddy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, these are these people are free.

Speaker 2 You know, like they were fucking under jackets at the jail. That's nice.
But now they're going to end up in jail. Yeah.
Back inside because they were fucking at the jail.

Speaker 2 These people are just, and that smile on his face. He's loving it.

Speaker 2 You know what's interesting to me? She's looking at 21 months. Yeah.
And then he's looking at, what, two years? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Both more than the guy selling body parts. Yep.

Speaker 2 That is crazy to me. I just watched the fucking thing.

Speaker 2 I just watched one of these footage things.

Speaker 2 Punishments of people. Dude, I just watched it.

Speaker 2 There was a woman blew through a. She had a DUI.
Like, it's kind of crazy how the law works.

Speaker 2 It's really fucking crazy because there's just certain things that they get you more more on, and public decency rules are like they're made from old-timey ideas, right?

Speaker 2 Like all this stuff is made from old-timey ideas. Sold fetuses.
Couldn't care less. We just don't have the proper laws for it, really.
Yeah, that's true. That's really what it is.

Speaker 2 It's just more like it's such a thanks, Biden. It's a unique crime.

Speaker 2 He's let me be clear. I need them fetuses.

Speaker 2 I need them fetuses.

Speaker 2 I knew a man named Fetus. I know a man named Fetus.
He was spelled with a pH. One of my funny, funny guy, gang, funny gang.
Come on, let's be clear, Jack.

Speaker 2 That's my only thing I can do.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I blame Biden.

Speaker 2 Discross the board, I blame Biden. But I just don't think we have these rules.
I think the crimes are unique in that fact. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And that it's difficult to then also because it's just hard to pin down. Mm-hmm.
Yeah. So these people are going to spend more time in jail than the guys selling body parts.

Speaker 2 You know, again, one. Sad state of affairs.
I will say one was a job creator and the other one was just, I mean, just too romantic. I say, if you want to have sex in a laundromat, move to Italy.
Amen.

Speaker 2 That's where that fucking behavior is allowed. Amsterdam, the Netherlands, you can have sex with a fucking tortoise in the Netherlands.
All right. You can do anything you want in Europe.
All right.

Speaker 2 So before you come over here, bring your gross ass European ideals. You get on a fucking ferry and you go back.
to the fucking fatherland. All right.
If you want a fucking public.

Speaker 2 This is not what you do in America. We kill people here.
Yeah, we kill people right. We kill people.
We don't fuck them.

Speaker 2 Let's get to some letters. Well, before we go, I just wanted to mention that if you're in Missouri and you see a buck going around with a collar and the word pet written on the side of it.

Speaker 2 Now you're talking about the animal, right?

Speaker 2 Not the man that has to make love to a woman in a cuck video. Yeah, yeah, no, no, not that.
Not that.

Speaker 2 But yeah, apparently, real quick, a man discovered a deer while he was out hunting, and he had the word pet painted on the side of it, and it had a collar on.

Speaker 2 And people are,

Speaker 2 they say that that's not good.

Speaker 2 It's a wild animal, and it cannot be a pet, so please do not make your deers pet.

Speaker 2 It's just not going to work. It's not like that this guy was trying to save

Speaker 2 this deer's life. He tried.
But the thing is that it doesn't work like that.

Speaker 2 Do you remember when we had the thing with the super-friendly robot that was going to make it across America and make friends and shit? And then it went to Philly and got fucking beat to death? Yes.

Speaker 2 It made it across Canada and then down and then made it as far as Philly and got beat to death. That's what would happen.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So you can't just say,

Speaker 2 you can't just tell people it's nice because people will fuck with it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So don't do that.

Speaker 2 If you want to see the picture, it is kind of funny. But yeah, yes.
Yes. Yes.

Speaker 2 All right, here we go. You

Speaker 2 little

Speaker 2 people who I love. It's a listener email.
All right, what do we got? It's a listener email.

Speaker 2 I'm Timothy Shamley. Hello.
I'm Bab Dylan. Oh, yes.
Oh, yes. Do you think he talks like that forever, like Austin Butler? Hi, Mama.
Oh,

Speaker 2 Timothy Chalamet? You think Timothy Chalamaya? I was real into the Dylan.

Speaker 2 I gotta say, surprisingly good. Yeah, people like it.

Speaker 2 It was, as someone who loves Dylan, that movie was surprisingly good. Does he talk like that? He's going to the whole movie, yeah.

Speaker 2 Dylan talked like that. He juke.
It's public. He's sheep pubiki.

Speaker 2 He dude.

Speaker 2 I think that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he does look good in it. He does look good in it.
Now, here we go. My mom just found an article from 1875 about my great-great-great-grandfather, M.F.
Branstetter.

Speaker 2 He died in Thurndale, a small rural town in Northern California, where the wildfires are just outside of right now, which is interesting. Oh, interesting.

Speaker 2 The murderer, John Henley, went to San Quentin for life. This article was published about it, and if it wasn't the craziest description ever, I might be seriously disturbed by it.
Hope you enjoy it.

Speaker 2 Now, this is an article about her great-great-great-grandfather's death. Okay.

Speaker 2 A cutting affray occurred in this usually quiet town today that makes the blood run cold to think of it, let alone anyone uttering it, and sprung from the same source that so many men have suffered death from, and many a family been disgraced, and poverty brought to the door.

Speaker 2 A game of cards. It occurred in a saloon, and the participants were M.F.
Bran Setter and John Henley.

Speaker 2 They were playing a game of cards with the whiskey when a slight misunderstanding took place, followed by words and then blows, and closing with Henley drawing a knife and literally cutting Bran Setter to pieces.

Speaker 2 Bran Setter received one cut on his left arm, extending from the shoulder to the hand, laying bare the bone the entire length, the flesh gaping open four inches in some places.

Speaker 2 He received another cut across the stomach, the bowels being caught in a number of places, and a third cut in his back. And as yet, it has not been ascertained how deep or the extent.

Speaker 2 The ducksters are all in attendance upon the man now, but it is expected that he will die. The cut in his arm is the worst-looking cut imaginable, his arm being nearly split in two.

Speaker 2 Whole thing is a terrible affair and has caused great excitement here.

Speaker 2 That is wild.

Speaker 2 Cut from the shoulder to the hand. Yeah, dude.
It's fucking really static.

Speaker 2 How do you even get the guy to stand still long enough where you do that? It's a razor. That is a sharp-ass knife.
Hey, also, you never know. It seems exaggerated, right? It does.

Speaker 2 But hey, what am I going to do? I'm not going to call upon the cat. I'm not going to fucking call shite upon the past.
Yeah. What do I know?

Speaker 2 Well, I'm sorry your great-great-great-great-grandfather died like that. I am happy that he did because I got the letter.
So thank you.

Speaker 2 My dad is a now-retired fire captain, formerly firefighter, paramedic for L.A. County Fire.
Yeah, buddy. Topical.
Yep.

Speaker 2 Well, he's told me innumerable crazy stories from his time working as a firefighter, from having a Molotov cocktail thrown at the fire engine windshield and being shot at during the L.A.

Speaker 2 riots, to delivering babies in strange places, including for a migrant worker in a field who had to work up until she literally gave birth. My favorite story is probably Dildo Guy.
Okay.

Speaker 2 When my dad was still a firefighter He arrived at the station one morning parked and started to head to the door when something strange caught his eye in the truck bed next to his It was dozens of dildos.

Speaker 2 Okay, he was taken aback for obvious reasons He just stared and he blinked a couple times and he shook his head like it was a cartoon He headed inside and asked the guy whose truck it was what the deal was He responded that he was in Studio City the day before.

Speaker 2 He saw someone throwing out all these dildos after a porn shoot and he thought it was a big waste. He fished them out of the dumpster.

Speaker 2 His plan, he said, was to wash them and resell them on eBay for a nice profit. Needless to say, the rest of the guys in duty mercilessly roasted him while the guy got more and more defensive.

Speaker 2 As far as I know, he went through with his plan. That guy has been known as the diddledo guy in certain circles ever since.

Speaker 2 Never buy it used. Always buy it in the box.
Yes. Buy it within the box.
It's worth it. You should go from one box to the next.
It really, really.

Speaker 2 And I want to say,

Speaker 2 live every day knowing you never know what's going to happen anyway, anyway, right? We have no clue what's going to happen to us one day to the next. So it doesn't really matter.

Speaker 2 What happens, just know you're going to live it for the best and you're going to laugh.

Speaker 2 Knowing the fact everybody's panicking around you, but you got to know you got to take care of your family, your friends, and your city. All right.

Speaker 2 And you love your city and you love your family as much as you can. You take care of them.

Speaker 2 And your community, you fucks, by giving to something like the California Community Foundation, which I did give a bunch of money to. You did? I did.
I'm still trying to figure out where to put money.

Speaker 2 I like this one. You also, one of the the things they did say to do is give straight to the LAFD.
Yeah. They do have a lot.
They do need a bunch of shit. I'll do that today.

Speaker 2 I also will say to discount some of the disinformation out there, there was not a massive budget cut. All that stuff is horseshit.
It doesn't matter. It's not lies.
Basically, everything.

Speaker 2 We did not run out of water. We did not run out of water.
You are literally hearing utter horseshit from people that just, for some reason, dislike California, mostly because it's cool. It's nice.

Speaker 2 It's very nice here. Yeah.
So people don't like it. It's a beautiful place, and sometimes disaster happens, and disaster happens where you are, too.
So this is welcome to 2025.

Speaker 2 Choose which natural disaster you enjoy. Yep.
You're next. Wherever you are.

Speaker 2 Pretty much. But hey, we're staying strong and we fucking love our LA community.
And we, you know, whatever y'all need, y'all let us know. We're up out in here, dude.

Speaker 2 We're going to be doing some form of benefit too, which we have not planned. We are in the midst of beginnings of the plan.
Yeah, we'll figure that out.

Speaker 2 And whatever it is, we'll let you know what it is when it is so you can help and contribute and watch and laugh along.

Speaker 2 Fuckers.

Speaker 2 Otherwise, I love all of you, except for people I don't love. Yep.
The people I hate, I hate you. I still hate you.
But everybody else I loved before, I actually love them more. Yes.

Speaker 2 That is a good way to look at it. Yeah, isn't that nice? Go fuck yourself.
Never forgive. Never forgive.
Hell Satan.

Speaker 2 Hell yeah.

Speaker 2 Go to patreon.com. Slash the last podcast.
I'd love to get all our fucking shit.

Speaker 2 LP on the left for all the socials. I have no idea what socials are going to be be left soon.
Go to Instagram, TikTok, while you can. And then go to the last podcast on the left that I come by.

Speaker 2 Tickets for a live show. Because it's good.
Amen, guys. We'll see you next week.
Bye.

Speaker 2 Hi, neighbor.

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