Side Stories: RIP Ozzy

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Side stories?

That's when the cannibalism started.

Side stories.

Yes.

Hear ye.

Hear ye.

I hear ye.

The great king of rock and roll is dead.

Long live Ozzy Osbourne.

The black prince of metal.

The king of evil.

He has passed.

And the day of mourning has begun.

And it's over.

Thank you, Roger.

Yes.

The Prince of Darkness.

Prince of Darkness.

I cannot believe that he...

Wow, you know, 76 years young.

Man.

Ozzy Osborne, we're opening up cold today, mourning the loss of the

number one

champion of Satan.

Yes.

The number,

the guy, the epitome of rock and roll evil.

He's the dude who, like, taught me that being evil was kind of cool.

It is Ozzie Osbourne.

I can't believe it.

Life is now going to be less.

Yeah.

That he's gone.

It is.

It's another example.

To me, I view it like with David Bowie being gone and Prince being gone, we lost another person that there is absolute no, there's no modern equivalent to.

No, there's not.

I mean, there can never be.

There will never be ever again another Ozzy Osbourne.

He lived a life of extremity for us.

Yeah.

He did it so that he could walk the actual walk of the man himself, the man that would don this sort of persona of being Ozzy Osbourne, which also turned out to be as much of a set of challenges as anything else.

I mean, of course, you can't be the Prince of Darkness and expect to have like a decent life.

I don't think so.

I think that you have, when you choose to become the Prince of Darkness, other things come along, like Sharon.

Yes, he's been next to death for a very long time.

Yes, Sharon.

Yes.

Welcome to Side Stories.

My name is Henry Zabrowski.

I'm sitting here with Ed Larson.

Oh, I missed.

I've been in the malaise all day.

I thought for sure, I mean, because he should be dead for a long time.

Well, the fact that he even got to that final concert.

He said he wanted to die on stage.

So close.

Which, like, he really, it seems like he tried.

Yes.

Oh, it seemed like it.

He definitely, he was shooting for it.

Do you think that he died of a sense of cringe watching his daughter take the moment of his final Black Sabbath performance?

I'm still like, this is where we get into page seven territory where it's this picture.

But she didn't take the moment.

Yes, I know.

But Ozzy Osborne, he is almost dead, sitting in a chair.

It is after the very final Black Sabbath performance.

I went and I watched some clips of it.

He's definitely like, hang on,

shaking like Michael J.

Fox on Adderall.

He's fine, you know, exactly.

And he's, he's, he can't really say, but it's like he's just super emotional.

Like, this is the last time I'll ever introduce the band.

It's like, super amazing night.

He raised like how many 100 million dollars.

Crazy.

If we're all for charity, right?

The largest charity concert of all time.

When he's sitting backstage, it should be all about Ozzy.

And all of a sudden, his lovely daughter gets proposed to by the new drummer of Slipknut.

That's the new drummer.

This is the new drummer.

Even the old drummer.

He steps into the center of this paparazzi circle around Ozzy Osborne as he literally has no idea where he is.

And

he sucks the emotion out of the moment by making it about him and her.

And he asks her to marry him in the backstage area.

Ozzy Osborne, he's trying to eat the ring.

He has no idea what's happening.

And it is just way worse.

He's the DJ for Slipknot.

He's not even the drummer.

Oh, he's the DJ.

He's the DJ for Slipknot.

Oh, my God.

So Ozzy's last memory is his his daughter getting engaged to a DJ?

Oh,

honestly, he might have committed suicide.

It might be a suicide.

He might have literally flung himself from the belfry.

Just watching this, he's so just like,

I will not perform at this wedding.

Please tell me I don't have to.

You don't have to be there.

I have to come and

eat a bat.

You know, because he, again, also wanted to dispel a couple of rumors.

You're a slipknot.

You keep in the ring in your fanny pack.

this guy is an absolute you have a fanny pack but you're not trying to be in slipknot no

you know you're a louders what do you mean you're a fancy man I have a buildable bag.

Yeah, I'm a purse.

Yeah, I have to have a purse because my shorts fall down.

See, when you're shaped like a pear or shaped like an egg.

You can't put stuff in your pocket.

No, because it just shoots the pants down, especially if they have an elastic waistband.

You want them to be comfortable because that's where I'm wearing a lot of these days.

It feels good.

It's so good.

I love an elastic.

I'm giving it all in, giving it all in.

Full-on,

expandable clothes.

We're murdered, man.

We ain't got new jobs to get.

I'm stretching.

Wear that stretchy band pants.

Do we want me to be crying all day?

But just the idea of him watching Ozzy Osbourne has been through so much.

He has fought so hard.

He's almost died so many times.

So many times.

Eddie and I were walking before the show, which is also, it is amazing to be in Los Angeles and just see hearing Ozzy everywhere.

Just coming out of people's cars and shit like that.

It's fucking awesome.

But we were walking down the street and we said that the most, I guess, the main thing you can say about Ozzy, the one bad thing, really, besides all the years of drug abuse and his insanity, was the fact that he did open us up to the world of reality television.

They were probably the, they were one of

the biggest.

And then Road Rules and what was the other stupid MTV show?

The Real World.

The real world.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Other than those shows, the Osbournes were first.

And there were some art experiments back in the day.

There was like a guy.

There was actually a very interesting documentary about a guy that

was one of the OG.

I forget which website he was behind, but he created this world where he was in a 24-7 cube on camera and he ended up killing his girlfriend.

It's like a whole true crime story.

It's great.

Not enough room in that cube.

No.

And so, but Killer would fart.

I think it was just being a man.

But Ozzy Osborne did technically, what's nice about his performance in that, the Osbournes, the reality television show, is that because he was so

out of his brain, he didn't know what was going on.

No idea.

So we actually got to see the real Ozzie.

I think that was a part of why it was so interesting, is that we got to see the actual Ozzy Osbourne.

Everybody else was surrounding him as a grifter and a piece of shit.

But the man himself was, it's just funny to see him.

Everyone was just excited to see him sit on his couch.

Yeah, it's like the cameramen were in his way and he couldn't even be bothered with it.

Could not care less.

It's him.

He was my favorite.

And also, back in the, unfortunately, which now, but you know, now it's all dark, but like when Kanye was vaguely featured in the background of the Kardashians, where he could like, he'd see the camera and like run into the other room, you know?

At least he had that instinct.

Yeah, that was, that was before.

My first, uh, my first concert without my parents

was

typo negative

Rollins band and Ozzy solo.

So angry.

I wish I got to see them.

Yeah, no, it was fucking awesome.

I saw Ozzie three years.

That was like right before OzFest.

That's how old I am.

And then the next year was OzFest.

I saw that again.

And the year after that, I went again because that was the Black Sabbath reunion.

He was in good in voice.

He was in good voice for a very long time.

Yeah, no, his voice was good, but he did in 1997 when I saw him for the first time.

He looked like he was going to die then.

I mean, he knew he was going to be.

He was probably hobbling around around the stage.

He couldn't lift his arms over his tits.

Well, I believe, didn't he have, didn't he suffer from like a lot of the shakes?

It seemed to have been like side effects of medication, I believe, that he was on for all of the damage.

And he did have Parkinson's.

But before that, he was dealing with shit.

Of course.

He was going to die when Sharon found him.

He drank himself next to death and he was sitting in a hotel room for years.

Yep.

And then Sharon figured out how to milk him for that money for the rest of his life.

Hey, she saved his life.

She liked Sharon.

I'm fine with Sharon Osborne.

I'm just saying, I wonder how now we're going to use his corpse for money, but they'll figure it out.

Oh, come on.

Ozzy's going to make money for fucking 150 years.

Oh, I know.

He's going to be stronger in death than in life, like Elvis Preston.

Oh, my, it's going to be nice.

There's going to be a Black Sabbath summer, dude.

It's going to be all Ozzy all summer for the rest of summer now.

I'm excited about it.

Dude, that concert, I got to tell a quick story.

So I'm at the show, and it's my buddies, and this chick fucking like ODs right in front of us.

It was fucking crazy.

And then, this, and then this guy, the whole concert, he's belligerent, he's awful.

He's like flicking off in front of, we never, we didn't understand.

He was like, I love you, Ozzy.

And then he'd like to flick him off, like, fuck you, Ozzy.

We're like, what is this guy doing?

Yeah, I just thought, yeah, yeah, he's a lot of mixed messages.

Yeah, I'm 15.

I don't get it, you know, and so it is just like, fuck you, fuck you.

And then this chick passes out on him, falls down a flight of stairs, and then all of a sudden, the guy like turns to us and he like, he goes, i'm a doctor i gotta help her yeah

i'm like oh no hey leave her alone doctors gotta relax doctors gotta relax too

it's not his fault but god but you know ozzie he's gone no one is gonna replace him yeah what's your go-to ozzy what do you do we were just listening to i love bark at the moon bark at the moon's great i you know what my go-to this morning was a very uh essential ozzy album for me, even though it's not really one of his best albums, is Osmosis.

Yeah, we were talking about it.

I fucking love that album.

I skipped school to go buy it when it came out.

I fucking love that album.

Perry Mason.

Well, he's also one of the very few guys that can create, literally

create heavy metal.

He's one of the people that helped create heavy metal.

And then his own career, his solo career is awesome.

Yeah.

And like, if you like, it's just, you can't not

love rock and roll and not love Ozzy Osborne.

You're a fucking idiot.

You don't like rock and roll if you don't like Ozzy.

That's just the truth.

Yeah, man.

Randy Rhodes, when he buzzed the, when he buzzed the tour bus and crashed and died.

Oh, wow.

I mean, this guy, I mean, what a life.

You know, I was just thinking about how when my dad was dying, it kind of reminded me a little bit of when I was watching Ozzie Osborne.

It reminded me a little bit of him.

You know what I mean?

Because it's the show.

He was very emotional, right?

Like Ozzy was very, very emotional in the end.

But i gotta say it was unfair that my dad did not get to bring out tony iomi in the middle of that like think about that you're dying you should be in a hospice bed but instead you are you got you're like everybody

put it out together for tomorrow

they're all man geezer butler's great geezer was the one person from sabbath that was with ozzie the first time i saw him And then when I saw them do the Sabbath reading, first of all, full Ozzie set, takes a break, Black Sabbath set.

It was fucking awesome.

That was the OG Black Sabbath re-up, right?

That was like that was Bill Ward.

That was like the late 90s, because I remember I had that double album.

Yeah, it was like 99.

Yeah, it was like, yeah, 99 or 2000.

Yes.

That double album was awesome.

Dude, I caught.

Tony Iomi's pick.

Whoa.

And then my mother threw it out because she didn't know what a guitar pick was and she thought it was trash.

You had the trash.

She kept.

don't worry, Daddy.

I threw out all that trash.

I also took in a poster.

Go to the dump.

Don't throw in the trash chat.

She's like, though, hey, though, there's no reason.

You're all covered in shit.

Get Young Blood off my fucking screen.

He loved her.

Who is that blood?

Get Young Blood off my fucking screen, right?

I have never heard of him.

Who is Young Blood?

Who he was a week ago?

I think that Ozzie legitimately thought he was a woman.

Yeah.

I think that he was, he has such a thin torso, and he's like touching touching on his body and touching on his muscle.

I'm pretty certain that Ozzie Osborne thought that this guy was a woman and he was trying to have sex with her and he just didn't know.

All right, because we all know that Ozzie Osborne, he had like a cheating scandal like five years ago.

Like it was like post-COVID he had a cheating scandal.

Like Ozzy, it's like, and I don't even know if he knows.

It's like, I think women are just telling him he's having an affair with them.

Yeah, no, Ozzy doesn't know what's happening.

He can't be guilty of anything.

I don't know.

I mean, I don't know.

Until you know up to like even yesterday, like or a week ago, if Ozzie pulled out a gun and shot you in front of me.

I'd be like, I don't know, man.

What are we gonna live?

2016, there was nothing no,

no, it's not bad, but that's a long time ago for Ozzy Osborne.

2016, he's still actively trying to fuck Saj.

I don't think he's trying to.

I think it just got thrown at him, and he didn't know how to physically get away.

Seven, come and cut this woman who's playing with my balls.

I'm sorry, he's becoming Bernie Sanders.

I know, I can't do an Ozzy impression, oddly enough.

Kevin, all he knows, is

that's it.

That's all I have.

That's all I have is old Ozzy.

But, you know, like, but Youngblood is, just so you know, Eddie, Youngblood is an extremely talentless

young man that has wormed his way into Ozzie's world and then did a cover of changes, which we all know is the easiest song of Ozzy's to cover.

And we all know that the actual best cover of Ozzy's changes was

Charles Bradley.

And if anybody is not Charles Bradley singing changes and someone who is not Ozzy singing changes, then I don't want to hear you sing changes either.

Man, today I went to a coffee.

Because that motherfucker, Charles Bradley, look, we can play a chunk of that, right?

Can't we?

No, we can't.

Ah, but it's fine.

It's a go listen to it.

I mean, it's the song at the top of Big Mouth.

Going through changes.

What?

What do you mean?

The

show, Big Mouth?

Oh, don't advertise Big Mouth.

I'm just telling people where they heard the song.

I'm going

through

changes.

Yeah, no, Charles Bradley's a fucking man.

Charles Bradley's the only person I've ever believed the words coming out of his mouth that he was singing this song.

We were talking about him the other week.

Yep.

Yeah, man.

He also died.

Also died.

Died right at the same time as Sharon Jones, major hit for DevTone Records.

All happened on George Clinton's birthday.

It is upsetting.

Full circle for me.

My guys,

one keeps to go forever.

But George Clinton.

84?

Yeah, think about that.

Almost 10 years old, Thanazi, and he's still going.

He's still

singing.

He's actually doing great.

Did you see that clip of him recently freestyling?

Oh, yes.

Yeah, it was George Clinton freestyling.

It was really kind of like, whenever you think about it, it was just nice to see.

Yeah.

He's got energy.

He's never going to stop, man.

He's going.

He's going as long as he fucking can.

No, and he's just sitting there smoking his blunts, painting his birdhouses.

Nothing I love than George Clinton's Instagram presence.

Oh, yeah.

It's worth it.

Just so you know, if you want a good, that's a good follow on Instagram.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We still got George.

Still got George.

For a little bit longer.

All right, I got a couple other updates.

Wow, we've talked about him for like 25 minutes.

That's fine, though.

He's Ozzy.

We had to.

He's our people.

He's my father.

Everyone loves Ozzy.

It just makes me sad because he's just another person.

We're now, us 40-year-olds and all the rest of us in the 40s

are now going to see all of our favorite people die over the next like 10 years.

Yeah, but some bad ones, too.

Well, yeah, but they never die.

Yeah.

The bad ones always go for forever.

Fucking Ric Flair is like, cancer-free.

Literally, utterly fine.

He's like, you fucking piece of shit.

Utterly fine.

Everybody else is just spotless.

It's all of the evil is just going to Trump's ankles.

And the rest of it is just, I don't know.

I have no fucking idea.

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A couple of updates.

We've got the blonde prostitute Attorney General Pam Biondi is deciding to take the Epstein scandal.

She's going to continue the Epstein scandal forward.

And she said that what she's going to do is

on the case.

Finally, someone's going to get into this.

And what she's going to do is see what our favorite

booker, Ghislaine Maxwell, I'm calling her a booker.

She is a booker.

Yep.

And we're going to say she's going to go ask Ghislaine Maxwell.

What bitch she is?

Oh, she puts the hooker in Booker and so she went and she's gonna go talk to Ghislaine Maxwell and she's gonna clear it all up don't worry and I think what's gonna happen is my call they're gonna go to Ghislaine Maxwell they're gonna ask all right so who is on the episcoping list and she's gonna be like nobody and they're like thank you and they're gonna release her so i think that's gonna what's gonna happen i think that uh everyone's here wondering who's all on it and guess what it's everybody and every single person that is on that list i don't care what party you belong to i can't wait to see you get tortured to death

Kill them all.

Yep.

As far as literally, they are a waste of space.

Literally, kill it.

We could say kill a bunch of pedophiles.

I think it's okay.

I think that's the one we're allowed.

I think we can line up a bunch of pedophiles and shoot them in the head.

You know, I think that's fine.

We're not allowed to

do it.

I'll pay for a ticket to see it, though.

Oh, my God.

Please.

So we'll see how that goes.

I'm certain that is going to get nipped in the bud.

And so that is, that's the one thing we got.

That's one Episcopian update.

And then this other update.

Oh, this one's, I mean, well, this is all

speculated.

None of this has actually been confirmed.

You know, it's interesting is that I got a little bit of pushback.

People, some people saying that we thought that our coverage of the passing of Dan Rivera might have been a bit insensitive.

But I still think that people just need to understand that if we're going to help the paranormal community,

we need to create more stakes with our deaths within the community.

Because death

is the whole point of the community.

You travel in the world of selling ghosts.

You die mysteriously while on tour with the most famous haunted doll.

And you think that a haunted podcast shouldn't talk about it?

I don't know.

Again, we do have a lot of sympathy for Dan Rivera's family.

Of course, no one wants anyone to die.

Well, the newest update, I believe, is they're still saying they believe that he died of natural causes.

Yes, of course.

I do think it's hilarious that they had to come out and say that Annabelle was not at the scene of the crime.

But this is the problem, is that, okay.

Where is she then?

It's her alibi.

Where the hell is Annabelle?

So that's what one of our, what we were saying before, the last week when we came out and we talked a little bit about the television propilot.

We're back on normal schedule now.

But what Eddie and I were talking about a little bit last week was the fact that, okay, then she must have been in the car.

Yeah, right?

She must have been.

She got mad you left her in this.

Yeah, maybe she's in the car, right?

But

it doesn't seem that way.

No, she.

Guys, we want to stop talking about this.

But the news keeps developing.

I wish that the Annabelle news would stop.

I will say that the news I received today, I can't guarantee that it's true.

But that's the best type of news.

That's the best type.

It really is in the middle of could be entirely made up, could be.

How do we feel about the Economic Times?

I think that they're poor right now.

Yeah.

Or is that a magazine?

That's a publication.

That's my news source.

Can you see if the Economic Times is a reputable source?

Yeah, yeah.

See what they're buying.

They put out an article yesterday

saying that Annabelle Dahl disappears after investigator touring with it dies suddenly.

Guys, Annabelle's missing again.

And I'm looking at the Nesper.

She's missing again.

I'm on the

Nesphere.

This is fucking happening.

I'm on the Nesper social media.

I'm looking at their Instagram.

I'm looking at their Facebook.

No word on where Annabelle is.

But you did notice that Nesper put out a little thing.

This is after he died, right?

This is a video.

They posted this after he had passed or no, right?

No, no, no.

This posts July 11th.

When did he die?

15th.

All right, so this is right before the died.

So this is right before he died.

This is the post before.

This is their last post while Dan Rivera is alive.

They posted them fucking straight up taunting Annabelle.

Like they dressed

up like Annabelle.

This is like, okay, so the only way you can really describe this is there is a lady standing in front of the caged Annabelle while she is sitting there, obviously seething.

This woman is dressed as Annabelle in front of her.

This is to me the equivalent of me dressing up like Harriet Tubman and going to a U.S.

slavery museum and going up to them, being like, oh, you know, like doing a whole Harriet Tubman fun character.

You better get across the board.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What's my you want to hear my Harriet Tubman?

Yeah, that's it.

You want to hear right now?

Yeah.

Hi, I'd like to take you to safety.

Hi, my name's Harriet.

You want to go to Detroit?

Excellent.

All right, you want Cover Plus?

His shoes are killing me.

Yeah, you want some.

You want a sprite?

You want a sprite?

You want some peanuts?

All right, so let's

play this little video.

Go back to your home.

She's got one of those ghost bots.

I'd rather be there with everybody seeing you.

With everyone, and I just felt like I got punched in the back.

You don't look like you got punched in the back.

If you could get out of your case, is there something you would like to do?

I'd like to run.

Did you hear me?

I didn't hear me.

Hold.

So, what we have is Nesper.

They are keeping the cave fame.

So you have this woman, Drosa's Annabelle, in front of the caged Annabelle.

She's saying, I feel like Annabelle just touched me.

They then asked in the ghost box, Annabelle, what would you do if you could get out of this cage?

And according to the ghost box, it said, run.

Yes.

So now, like, they're doing this already.

So they've leaned in ahead of us, guys.

Yes.

It's not just us.

Everybody, like,

we don't know what's happening.

They still haven't said what Dan Rivera died of.

I mean, I think it was a heart attack.

They said they're working on it still.

I think they left it yet.

I feel like if it's that, if they're still working on it, there might be some

stuff going on.

I mean, if there's a bunch of holes in his body, then, you know, that's one thing.

But a heart attack, I still think a heart attack is the way a doll murders a man.

See, the way off, I was a haunted doll, and if I wanted to murder a man, I just lay at the top of the stairs.

Oh, yeah.

So that if he had a pee in the night, I could kill him.

Because that's how my wife's trying to kill me.

What if he was in a ranch-style house?

Wow, yeah.

Yeah, you got to shoot him in the head, execution style.

Yeah, yeah.

Stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, step, stab, step, step, step, step.

Yeah, scope of the throat.

That's how I'd kill him.

Yeah, no, but I, this, so Dan Rivera passed away,

and now we don't know where the doll is.

Dolls are gone again.

Doll's gone again.

Unbelievable.

I keep, I mean,

prove to us that we're wrong.

I would love to stop talking about this, but as last podcast on the left, if more Annabelle news keeps coming up we have to report on it

we are the only people

we are we have to talk about Jeffrey Epstein and we have to talk about Annabelle the doll that is fully in our wheelhouse and we're locked in

there's no way to escape it and just so you know Eddie the economic times is generally considered and majorly uh it's majorly wide read um but it's also it's got a reputation that's nuanced okay okay okay all right Okay.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

Okay.

Do you want to hear the story about a father and daughter sucking each other off in a garage?

Hmm.

What's going on in another one?

Let's go with someone.

Now, we have this story.

Yeah, because this is the problem.

This week, we got a bunch of stories, and a lot of them are just extremely sad.

Yeah, they're just like, that's just a story.

Literally, that entire story is about an Indiana father and daughter.

He's 54.

She's 19.

He had a bunch of underage people over the house that he was feeding liquor, the father.

And then him and a bunch of girl, I guess a bunch of of the underage teens, saw him and his daughter having sex with each other.

And then the daughter straight up just said,

She's obviously the victim here, but literally, according to the documents, the 19-year-old admitted to with her, to quote, doing stuff together with her father.

And then she was drunk as little pump-free.

Wow, hey,

God.

Ooh, hey.

Because guess what he is doing?

Giving those pumps for free.

We need to.

Annabelle, listen kill this family kill this

straight to indiana

i know you're on the road man you just picture her hitchhiking some fucking trucker picks her up like where are you going little lady straight to indiana straight to indiana i get a killer i get a kill incestual father turns it to mike tyson yeah so you're going north north yep

yep but i'm gonna bring i'm gonna bring up i'm gonna bring up a hail of misery upon his ass i'm gonna go down there i'm gonna eat his children's his father.

Can I?

All right.

So, if this Annabelle stuff proves to be true,

all right?

All right, let's just look this out.

Like, it's a demon.

Like, it's a demon.

Annabelle's a demon.

We get footage of Annabelle running around like Chucky with a knife.

Azrael, yeah, he's a good guy.

That happens.

And we get this.

Do we reconsider the Warrens as legitimate?

Yeah, I mean, unfortunately, I think that if there's a picture, like if Annabelle turns into a Zazel and conquers the United States of America, I'd give the Warrens another look at.

Yes, you're right.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, if it's all real.

If Annabelle, God,

if she creates real change in this country, I mean, it seems like she's actively trying.

She is.

God knows what Dan DeVera.

I hope that Dan Rivera is just nice.

I just want him to be nice.

Well, it doesn't matter what he is anymore.

I didn't want Annabelle to have a reason, man.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, the nice guys are the easiest to kill.

I guess so.

He seems like he's the nicest.

He's moving her.

He was the one who moved her.

I know.

Into the travel case and back.

No, I know it's.

Big rubber gloves.

What are rubber gloves going to do against a haunted doll?

Eddie, I don't know.

What is that?

That makes no sense to me.

I think that the gloves are dipped in holy water.

Unless you're like wearing a full lead outfit or something.

I legitimately think they just like dip the gloves in holy water and then they're holy gloves and they can hold on to the doll.

It's so stupid.

Yes.

She get a fucking fire.

Just move her.

She's a doll.

She's too fucking, honestly, not anymore.

Not anymore.

That's for fucking certain.

As far as I'm concerned, at this point, we need to burn her.

I mean, that is one of the only options.

I think at this point, Annabelle needs to be stopped.

Whenever we believe, whether she's politically, whether she's got good politics or she's politically neutral, I feel like we got to be careful.

This is, I think we're heading into, we must do something about the Batman territory.

Like, it's getting to a point where, like, how far?

Because, you know, we got the Brooklyn Devil.

The Brooklyn Devil is a listener.

He's a good superhero buddy.

Oh, yeah, we should stick the devil on him.

I mean, I'm afraid that he would not, I feel like this is a great super villain for him.

I don't think he deals with this sort of stuff.

He's like, if he wants to be a real hero, I mean, yeah, you deal with the fucking problems you got.

If he could go and then get Annabelle before she, because again, right now we're liking the results of Annabelle's freedom, but we don't quite know where it's like.

I'm not happy she killed Dan Rivera.

Well, no, but we're happy in terms of as people

on the other hand.

Tony Sperra is super happy.

I know.

I mean, this is great for business for them.

That's what I'm saying.

We are talking about them on a weekly basis now.

I i think tony sparrow might have killed him yeah wow interesting that might be slander it is slander second week in a row if you've said that yeah i mean i don't know it might be slander i would love for him to defend himself i want someone to go to the devil on the run tour which is the silence is deafening this is you know i always hate when people say like oh they when they just randomly say they they you know when someone breaks silence tony sparrow has yet to say anything yeah and i want to know what he thinks there's an official release from Nesper.

What does it say?

It says, with heavy hearts, we share the sudden and heartbreaking loss of our dear friend and colleague, Dan Rivera.

The New England Society of Psychic Research Nesper is devastated by his passing and is still coming to terms with the profound loss.

Dan was not only a vital part of our team for over a decade, but also deeply compassionate, loyal, and dedicated friend, U.S.

Army veteran.

Oh, yeah.

It's just like a normal.

Yeah, he's a nice guy.

Yeah, no, he was great.

It seems like.

It just sounds like maybe they should have had a criminal watching annabelle that's not a bad idea i feel like that's what would they need next or put her in a prison we need to get a guy from death row

spring him

his one job is to watch annabelle

and he makes it to the end of the tour oh my god what if trump deports annabelle oh my god i mean to be honest it's the only thing i'd agree with him on

but they'd still have to find her

and to be i think she's a naturalized citizen though i think she is a naturalized citizen i'm pretty certain she was born here well Well, I don't know.

She could have been made in China.

I mean, if the demon, is the demon considered an illegal alien?

Oh, well, the demon's from hell.

So hell is not part of our jurisdiction.

So is most of the administration.

Put her in prison.

Put her in prison.

Lock her up.

Breaking news, golf courses might create Parkinson's.

So enjoy that?

Yeah.

There should be parks.

Yep, they should be.

But now that's where you can

go to a golf.

Instead of worrying about having a park, it can make cause Parkinson's, which means when you go to a golf park, you might slip inside of your son.

I read that

it was a long walk.

Yeah, it was, but I liked it.

It's a long walk, but it's golfing, by the way.

Yes.

No,

I read that article about the Parkinson's golf thing.

It's very flawed.

Well, yeah, it's a lot of flaws.

It's very flawed.

I mean, like, first of all, though, like, people who

live around golf courses are most likely to get Alzheimer's.

Like, yeah, they're old.

It's all retirement communities.

Of course, they're more likely to get Alzheimer's.

Alzheimer's.

Everyone gets mad the way I say Alzheimer's.

Alzheimer's.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The old time

Alzheimer's.

All right, here we go.

We get something.

Here's a story.

We can do this story.

I like stories.

Westbury, New York.

Now, this was a man who got pulled into an MRI machine in New York after he walked into the room wearing a large weight training chain around his neck, and he died.

Now, have you seen these weight training chains?

Dude, my father used to fucking.

Well, I was, this is why my neck is fat.

Like, I thought it was because of burritos and

it don't help.

But from a young age at 10, my father got this like weightlifting chain and he strapped it to my head.

And then he would like take the chain and he'd run it through like 35 pound, 45 pound weights.

And then he'd make me like lift them and drag them around everywhere just to make my neck strong so I didn't snap my neck when I played football.

That's actually a really good idea, I think.

It's a really idea, but I don't think it helped me.

No.

I think it just ruined the rest of my life.

Yeah, it didn't seem to really bring you the rest of your, didn't really help the rest of your football career.

Now, this MRI death is just like the Final Destination Bloodlines.

There's a whole thing in Final Destination Bloodlines of an MRI machine killing somebody, which is really fun.

This is one of my, I would say it's intrusive thought.

I didn't, I'm, you know, at the risk of sounding stupid like I always do, I didn't know that there there was magnets in MRI machines.

Yes, I just don't know why the man thought it would be a good idea to wear his giant weight

training.

I wouldn't have known.

But why are you wearing it to the doctor's office?

He walked into the room while it was going on.

Yeah, like why he wasn't supposed to walk into the room.

No, of course not.

Because the giant's magnetized.

No, but they were like, what are you doing?

And then by the time he walked into the room, the machine was on, and then it

dragged him across the room, and then it pinned him to the machine and choked him to death.

He died of a heart attack.

That's what he died of.

Is that they had to shut off the machine and then he fell off of it and he died of a heart attack directly afterwards.

And it's like this is one of those where I thought he like got sucked and his head came off.

I mean that would be awesome.

But that's not what happened.

That'd be a cooler story, sure.

But no, that's not what happened.

He just got choked by the chain and then he fell off of it and he died of a heart attack.

I guess when I first read the story, I thought it was like a cool chain.

I thought it was like jewelry that he was wearing.

And then I realized, like, no, it's like a 30-pound weight training chain.

Yeah, he was just wearing chains around his neck.

Yes, like he was getting the ghost of Marley.

Yeah.

Marley and Marley.

Now, like, yeah, was he just trying to, was he trying to get penance for his sins?

I think he was just showing that he still works out and he was tough.

Hey, he's good, and yeah, just got released from Prometheus's rock.

Yep, I stole fire from the gods, and they were sort of punishing me by constantly removing my liver with seagulls over and over and over again.

But that's why I figured out I've had a real knee problem.

I'm decided to come in and get my appointment done.

I just don't understand.

Like,

I guess, well, in LA,

the workout flex is legit.

Yeah.

Right?

The workout of like, obviously, I've just come from working out.

But in West Bear, New York, I think that working out publicly gets you called gay.

No, they like it.

I don't know.

Maybe.

But regardless, this isn't the first New York death of an MRI involving an MRI machine.

Really?

In 2001, a six-year-old was killed at the Westchester Medical Center when an oxygen tank flew into the chamber drawn by the MRI's ten-ton electromagnet.

So it got squished in there, kid got kid got like I think that if he was blown up, they would say it would blew it blew up.

No, you know what that sounds like?

He was muddled to death.

Yeah.

It sounded like he was in the bottom of a mortar and pestle and he was turned into pesto by an oxygen tank.

Oh, and then...

Especially if the kid was Italian.

And then they throw a little plug-in for, whatchamacallit, for

Final Destination strong enough to fling a wheelchair across the room.

Now, I really think, wow, both of these deaths plugged Final Destination bloodlines in them.

Which I don't know is if a both, I mean this, both news articles mentioned Final Destination bloodlines.

Now, I don't know if that's the tie-in that they were looking for.

We talked to the producer.

I don't think they care at all.

No, I think they appreciate it.

I honestly think every time a plane crashes, like, yeah, people got to rent the first one.

Yes.

And they make so much hay out of like the millennials are afraid of the loose logs on a truck because of final destinations, and they work final destination bloodlines.

I think it's a healthy fear.

But they keep working that in, but it's still like

it is just a like

fear.

Yeah.

It very rarely happens.

Of course, it rarely happens, but so do lots of things that I'm scared of.

Like, sadly, Malcolm Jamal Warner, who just died randomly on vacation.

Fucking Riptides are terrifying.

That's really sad.

That whole story is really sad.

That's the whole thing of like, that guy was just on vacation, just trying to live a life.

He's the coolest motherfucker.

Yes.

And you can die very easily on vacation.

And I feel like it's the one thing I want to always remind.

You're almost dying on vacation.

Yep.

I want to always remind our listeners of when we were on a horrible

hike we took on the side of the house.

We were walking around the rim of a volcano and had to walk a plank through the broken part of the rim.

It was fucking terrifying.

It was the worst shit I've ever done in my life.

And I never knew it again.

I was literally contemplating just going in the fetal position and

getting like a $70,000 helicopter at home.

Yes, it was just the only thing that was so scared I was.

Literally.

I was so scared.

The only thing that made me go over that plank is knowing that I had to be able to have sex with my wife that weekend.

And I knew that if I laid and gave up, it would not have been a sexy weekend.

Yeah, no,

I was ready to fucking not have sex.

That's for damn sure.

They were both fucking wonderful.

They couldn't care less.

They couldn't care less that they were fucking dancing at 6,000 feet on a volcano.

They feel nothing.

And I don't know how our ladies don't feel anything.

They're so sensitive otherwise.

Except when it comes to actual physical danger.

And then we realize that.

But just remember, when you're on vacation, just because you're on vacation doesn't mean you can do things that you can't do when you're not on vacation.

But I'm not saying that Malcolm Jamal Warner was doing that because he wasn't.

He was just swimming.

He got caught in a riptide.

It's really fucked up.

It's just important to remember: ocean's dangerous.

Of course, it's dangerous, especially down where you don't belong.

There's no lifeguards.

Don't worry.

Bill Cosby said he always stuck by me.

Oh, God's sake.

Shut up.

We don't need it, Bill.

Shut up, Bill.

We don't need it.

Go back to your hole.

And he was just like, you know, I wish I could find my hole, but I'm a bit of a Mr.

Magoo.

I'm a bit of a Mr.

Magoo here.

Trying to find my way through.

Bit of a hell and color.

Can't find my way.

Turn Irish, sorry.

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Well, what should be holding me back?

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I would say you've got problems with, you know, you have acid reflux.

Yeah.

You got some problems consuming dairy.

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I hate loud noises.

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Let's see, I got some stories here.

I got there's a couple.

So I got three stories I'm interested in.

I don't know if we have time for all of them.

Let's see.

First, I just think a dog the bounty hunter's stepson accidentally kills his stepgrandson.

I mean, it's just like too much redneck at once.

Yeah, there's a lot going on there.

There's a lot going on there.

Having a step-grandson and having them murder each other is like a lot.

Yeah, it is a lot.

You know, this guy, I mean, he's just trying to give this man some peace.

He said, you hear, you have, no, he doesn't need peace.

I mean, he's, he's made a life of no peace.

All right, the McDonald's manager shoots teen's mom in dispute over trash.

See, I thought, I'm glad that you cover that one because the other one I was going to cover is there's a McDonald's man,

an employee who worked for the Sydney, Australia McDonald's.

Okay.

And he had Down syndrome.

Okay.

And he worked there until he was 50.

Great.

And they gave him a retirement party.

That's nice.

Yeah.

And in the very.

But now what is he going to do?

Well, apparently, one of the big things McDonald's does is that if you retire there, and if you work through their

employees with disabilities, like the special training programs, is that what they'll do is that they'll put you in a wheelchair and they'll cover you in ghastly innocent fire.

Oh.

And that's just kind of a way.

McDonald's guaranteed.

Yeah, it's just a way they flame broil you.

Yeah.

Well, that's Burger King.

Sorry.

Yeah, no.

But McDonald's.

It was a whopper of a funeral.

No, he's still alive.

All right, so listen to this.

This story is in Belleville, Illinois.

A McDonald's manager tells his teenage employee, take out the trash.

Yeah, you know, now with the Sumers, they don't do anything.

And that's what she said.

She said, no, I ain't taking out the trash.

Go fuck yourself.

Well, and this is.

He says, well, if you aren't going to take out the trash, you're fired.

That's your job.

Go home.

That's the one thing you do.

It's a McDonald's.

Yes.

Do you want to be on the fry later or not?

Yeah, exactly.

You got to work your way up the fucking chain.

You also have to take out trash.

It's part of the job.

That's why everybody's got to take out trash.

It's part if the trash is filled, the manager delegates.

That's just how it is.

I remember I fired someone because they couldn't take out the trash at Hooters.

I told this kid, I'm like, can you take out the trash?

He's like, where's it go?

I said, in a dumpster.

And he said, where's that?

I said, get out of here.

Where do dumpsters go?

So this chick won't take out the trash.

Sure.

She gets fired.

She goes home.

She tells her mom.

This thing of everybody telling their mother stuff.

I've never told my mother anything.

I've never told her I ever got fired.

No.

Can you imagine telling your mother you got fired?

If I told my mother ever that I'd gotten fired, she'd be like, What'd you do?

Yeah.

She would never take my employer's side.

Man, I was arrested, I don't know, a total of six times in my life.

My mother never found out about any of them.

Yeah, because I went to jail and she didn't find out.

Why the fuck would I tell my mother?

What is she going to do besides make me feel worse?

Yeah, I consider it a great, like,

how do you say, like, a triumph of my life that she never found out about all my arrests.

Yeah.

I'm very proud of it.

But the, uh, so this woman, she's like, you can't fire my daughter.

And he's like, yeah, I can.

She won't do her job.

And she's like, well, fuck you, motherfucker.

She goes behind the counter, starts punching the manager in the face.

Know what the manager does?

Takes out a gun and shoots her.

See, I feel like there's a lot going on here.

I don't know why the manager was armed at work.

I mean, you're a McDonald's.

They're not hiring the best.

I know, but this is the thing.

Like, most stories, right?

Like, if we like...

This guy is trying so hard to not flip out.

I bet he's an anger management class.

He's intense.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That lady's intense.

Oh, no, Kathy ain't to be fucked with.

No, Kathy ain't to be fucked with.

Kathy Bledsoe fucking shot this woman in the head.

You got to be careful out there, guys.

Don't fucking fight with these people.

I want a question.

Like, don't fight McDonald's managers.

They don't give a a fuck i'd love to know side stories lady managers apparently are strapped they're strapped side stories lpotl at gml.com where does your employer keep the gun because i'd love to know with like if everybody's got a boss that has a gun floating around i feel like that used to be way more of a thing when i was a younger man that you'd be like Like I remember being some job I had where the boss was just like, hey, look at this.

And he showed the gun in the drawer.

He's like, that's in case anybody wants to fuck fuck with us.

And it's just like the video screen.

Like, why are we killing people?

Like, yeah, what's about like, what, what amount of cash could they possibly get from this place?

No, I mean, McDonald's, I mean, you don't even use cash anymore.

I don't even know kiosks.

It's all kiosk.

No one's even, there's no track.

There's probably no cash.

I will use the kiosk if the kiosk is armed.

That's what we need.

Is armed kiosk.

Fucking R2D2 down there with a little shocker.

Yeah.

Man, that is true.

I got another story I like.

This woman in Key West.

You've never been to Key West, have you?

No, I've never been.

I love Key West.

Key West is wonderful.

One thing you should need to know about Key West before you go to Key West, it's covered in chickens.

Yes, that's what we're doing.

Chickens, roosters, everywhere.

It would totally fuck with you because you didn't go well for you in Ibor.

But you couldn't sleep.

The roosters are going all day, all day.

All night.

All day, all night.

They don't stop.

Roosters, the morning thing is just like a myth.

They go all day.

And so, but this place,

QS loves his chickens.

It's chicken culture.

They're everywhere.

They're on all the signs and all this stuff.

And so, this woman, there's a chicken crossing the road, and this woman stops to let the chicken cross the road.

Sure.

And the person behind her starts like honking and honking and honking and honking.

And she's like, go, go, go.

And she's like, no, I can't go.

There's a fucking chicken crossing the road.

Yeah, I'm in the middle of a joke.

This woman swerves around, runs over the chicken, all right, kills the chicken in front of.

So the woman who was waiting for the chicken to cross the road

speeds and follows this woman through Key West, speeds up next to her, and then bear sprays her.

To teach her a lesson for killing the chicken.

Yeah, I mean, I could see that.

Yeah, okay, but you know,

it's unfair.

It's still, you know, it sucks that that person killed the chicken.

I think if it's sold at stores, you don't get bear sprayed for killing it.

I think so, too.

I think it's...

We know a lot of people.

I know people that have chickens as pets and they like their chickens.

I love chickens and I saved.

I didn't save, but there was a bunch of chickens and like chicks in the road in Key West.

And I kind of like stood there to make sure no cars were coming until they crossed and stuff.

That's cute.

You know, like, you know, I was really worried about this.

So I know why this happened.

But

you can't kill the chicken.

This woman was definitely wrong.

Did she deserve to get bear sprayed?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think so.

Yeah.

Teach her a lesson.

You know what it is.

But you can't do it.

You can't get caught.

This is the problem.

You got to have fake license plates if you're going to bear spray people for killing chickens.

I would love to know

how long

they were waiting.

Right?

Because not long enough.

Well,

I've been in some scenarios.

I'm talking about life.

People are so impatient when it comes to driving.

As they should be.

Yeah.

Because guess what you guys all do?

Lolly gag.

I'm down with lolly gag.

Guess what?

Some of us have places to be.

We all got places to be.

Middle of the week, I got places to be.

Yeah, leave earlier and you'll get there on time.

No, because I can packed.

I'm fully fucking packed.

Everybody's got to drive better.

You see the new thing in Florida?

Go ahead.

They're straight up arresting you for speeding now.

If you go over 50 miles an hour over the speed limit, they're arresting you.

This started a couple weeks ago.

I'd like to see what hue you have to be to be arrested, but we will find that out.

Some kid was just arrested.

Yeah.

I mean, they threatened me with their...

I went joyriding with a buddy in firstman year of college where we drove it like 110 miles.

Joyriding is when you steal the car and dump it.

You didn't do that.

No, we were just driving a car really, really, really, really fast.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And the guy threatened to arrest us.

But this kid was going 155 in a challenger.

I say lock his ass up.

Yeah, I mean, he needs to learn a lesson for that because

he's very lucky you didn't hurt somebody.

You can really hurt somebody.

And if you don't know what you're doing, you could very easily lose control of the car and hurt somebody and kill yourself.

I think speeding is one of the most selfish things a person could do.

See, I love speeding.

I think it's great.

It's not selfish.

But no, but I think that,

Well, it's how you get places.

I'm just saying.

It's how you get places.

Yes.

Do you want to get to a place or do we all, or are we all enjoying the 405?

Do we want to arrive at a place or are we all just like being

in our cars?

You have a need for speed.

I do.

I can't wait to drive you places.

You're going to change your mind.

You're going to punch me.

I'm going to grab the

wheel.

I'm going to go exactly the speed limit.

No, I hate you.

But this is the thing: is that this guy,

how long were they waiting for the chicken?

Right, so if it's, I think

if we're hitting 10 minutes.

Oh, they know that I guarantee you this was a minute.

I'm just saying, how long are we waiting for the chickens?

I mean, if it goes over five minutes, you get out of your car and you shoot the chicken.

I mean, you got to kick at the chickens and they can go.

The chickens don't need to be treated.

We don't have to kill the chickens, but they don't have to be treated gently either.

I think you can literally go up to the chicken and kind of kick at the chicken until it gets off the street without killing it, and everyone gets to move along.

All I know is this.

People got to be someplace.

Yeah, you can't be a chicken vigilante in Key West.

I know that bunch.

No.

Also, again, that's the part of me that what I'm saying is, you know what, I'll change it only because this is Key West.

And why are you in a rush in Key West?

This is, if this is happening, take your time.

If this is happening to do down there in Studio City, I'm going to be like, let's hurry this the fuck along.

These Los Angeles ass chickens should be at Howland Rays as far as I'm fucking concerned.

Well, I'm just like, we're too big for chickens here.

We can't have chickens here.

There are chickens, but like they're in neighborhoods.

We got to eat them.

Key West, I can understand why are we in such a rush?

Yeah.

That I'll understand.

This is what I'm just saying.

To me, it's site-specific.

Los Angeles, if you're not in a rush, get the fuck out of the city.

Yeah.

Get the living fuck out of here.

All right.

This is not a time.

This is a hardworking place.

I'm not in a rush.

Get the living fuck out of here.

All right.

All right.

I'll leave.

Get out of here.

All right.

It's Los Angeles, the fast city.

We got to fucking move fast.

All All right, when I go to Atlanta, I understand.

They drive 10 miles underneath the speed limit, and everyone has guns.

So I don't honk my horn in Atlanta.

And I understand.

People got guns here.

Don't honk your horn here.

Oh, I honk my fucking horn.

I'll die.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Seems like it.

Be careful.

You fuck me.

You fuck the bass.

You come for the king.

You best not miss.

All right, we got to get you a gun.

I got a fucking.

Don't worry.

I have a little water pistol.

Can I?

Speaking of my love of animals, man, can I shout out someone real quick?

Yeah.

Paul Watson.

Congrats, buddy.

Interpol takes him off their most wanted list.

What'd he do?

He is the former founder and creator head of Sea Shepherd Conservation Society.

They're one of the few organizations I donate to at the end of the year for a while now.

I love this place.

Basically, what Sea Shepherd does, if you don't know, is they go find whalers out in open waters, and then they like try to like fuck with the whalers.

Okay.

Like they got like these like fire hoses that like dip into the ocean and suck up ocean water and they just spray people whaling.

They fucking they always like cut up trolling nets and shit like that.

Cool.

And so Japan fucking hit up Interpol and they're like, this guy threw bombs at one of our boats.

Like they literally were like throwing explosives like at the boat while they were trying to go whaling and shit.

And like they're fucking stopping people from murdering pilot whales.

They try to stop.

Someone just killed a bunch of pilot whales and they were a little too late, but they got all the footage of the of the aftermath.

Those pilot whales fucked up.

They weren't from Saudi Arabia, right?

Were they coming over here?

Whales are everywhere.

They don't have a nation.

Did they get trained in Tampa?

No.

But so this guy actually, for the Japan incident back in like 2007, he actually spent, Paul spent some time in a Greenland prison last year for a couple months.

But now.

I think in Greenland, like it's like a prison.

their prison there I imagine it's like one of those where you like stay in a house I imagine it's fine yeah I imagine he's just he's just you got so you got to rest for a little while

but he's off the inner pole list France said fuck it we don't we're not interested anymore but Japan still putting out a warrant for his arrest across the world they say we want him and uh but for trying to fuck with their whaling ships because Japan will not

stop whaling.

Well, it's because they have, there's a cultural thing, and I also believe they do do it in a way, like specifically.

They claim it's science, but it's not.

Yes.

They literally just love it.

It's a part of their life.

It's a part of their life.

And I feel like they do it sustainable.

I mean, you know, it's a thing.

Humans are still technically more important than animals.

No.

You know,

I think someone who kills a bunch of animals deserves to get shot in the head, too.

I agree, but it's still it's one of those.

I don't know.

Chicken lady?

I think that's proper punishment.

No, I get it.

I don't like it, Eddie.

I'm just saying.

If someone kills 64 pilot whales, I hope that Paul Watson kills them.

That's why I'm paying him money every year.

What is this?

So they like, don't they have like, isn't the whale like a thing?

Like, they raise the whales they kill or whatever?

No, they find them out in the ocean.

But aren't they like little whales?

Commercial whaling's big over there.

Yes.

Has been for a long time.

Iceland stopped.

Iceland stopped.

Yeah, Iceland stopped.

We stopped.

Russia's still doing it.

Well, yeah.

They do everything bad.

But these guys, I guess it's one of those where, on one hand, I do utterly agree with you.

But on the other hand, it's hard when it's something that's baked into a culture or society.

So they have to figure out how to change their society from within.

We changed them once before.

Go, God, Eddie.

It's not how it works.

Very aggressive today.

Calling a lot of death.

They're calling for a lot of death today.

They're like doubling down.

They have a mother.

No.

The mothership.

Oh, yeah.

No, they don't like whales over there.

I think they, well, they use them for what?

They have it.

They do nothing.

They kill them.

They just kill them.

There's no use for them.

You can't eat them.

You can't do nothing.

So what do they kill them for?

Literally, because they like doing it.

But I think they got to have like a

1920s.

But you know, they got to kill you.

You don't need fucking kerosene from a whale's brain anymore.

I wish.

You know, I kind of want to see the jar of it.

Why does Japan kill the whales?

Thanks, Google.

I don't know.

Cultural traditions, historical context, and belief in the sustainability of the act.

Do you know

when they got caught killing all the dolphins?

They were taking the dolphin meat and serving it to the kids, and all the kids got fucking big old heads and got autistic and shit?

What?

Yeah.

Japan's fucked up because all the mercury in these animals.

We can't eat them.

I don't know, man.

You ever see the Cove?

Yeah, I laughed a lot.

Whale hunters, understandably, older people who actively support.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we don't know why they're killing all those whales.

They've just been doing it.

Because they've just been doing it.

they just like it for some reason

I hey, I'm not even fighting for them.

I don't know.

Yeah, I just one of those where I

just

me

I think if we get caught in a net, you got to get out of it.

You know what I mean?

All I know is I hope this guy finds some whalers and they make some sea shepherd's pie with them.

No, I think you're correct, and I do think that whales need to arm themselves.

They can't.

They have flippers.

Right, so they got to figure that out.

They need some kind of, they need some kind of blade gloves.

That's what they need.

Oh, man.

Look at this.

Look at what happened.

These fuckers, they're just killing pilot whales.

No, he's bad at it.

He's bad at this.

He's fucking cova blood.

I don't like it, buddy.

Look at it.

I don't know.

I mean, there's no reason for this.

I guess they didn't even take the bodies.

I have no idea.

At least, like, hunters in Africa take the taxatomy the animals.

They just leave them to sit and rot.

This just said Ed Larson loves the poachers in Africa.

No.

I just think that they're better than the people killing whales in Japan.

I mean, you know, it's just everybody's got a question.

A total of 116 pilot whales were driven onto a beach and killed.

I don't like it.

15 pregnant females.

Why weren't they in their planes?

So 131 individuals.

I just don't understand what they're all doing on landing up in the sky.

Getting killed by the Japanese.

Well,

them and my grandfather.

Yep.

All right.

Let's look at some listener emails.

Donate to Sea Shepherd if you can.

Now we have a new stinger for listener emails.

Listener, email town.

With an Henry favorite guy, with goats and gathered to kill the dreams.

Baby boxes.

Listener emails.

Woo!

Yeah!

Fuck yes!

Listen to our emails!

I can't wait to hear what these pieces of shit have to say.

Yeah, that was awesome.

Yeah, do we even have to do anymore?

Who did that?

That one's good for this week.

That was from Dakota Rolf.

No, I'm just saying, like, I mean, I don't even want a different stinger ever.

I hope I don't hear the other ones.

It was awesome.

Oh, I want to ask a neat question.

Is it illegal for me to just enter into a grocery store in a ghillie suit?

Side store is L-P-O-C-L-A-Gmail.com.

I think you can do whatever you want in a ghillie suit as long as it's not kill the person.

I don't know if people get all nervous or whatever.

Of course, they get nervous.

Well, never mind.

It's not illegal, though.

Making someone nervous isn't illegal.

If you have like an assault rifle with you or like a bow and arrow, that's fun.

All right, so let's read this first one.

This is just this one's gonna be, I mean, Ed's been angry today, but this is gonna make him extra angry.

Oh, Jesus, come on, leave me alone already.

Dan Marino is a jerk.

No, what?

No.

Growing up in South Florida

and working in service and retail, I ran into my fair share of athletes over the years.

Most were pleasant and nice.

I'd say LeBron was the most larger than life when he came into the Whole Foods I worked at, and he took time to talk to all of the kids who ran up to him excitedly.

He needs Whole Foods.

He's so big, he can't have part food.

Can't have half food.

One interaction I had, though, is burned into my mind.

I was 18 working at Blockbuster, best job I've ever had.

Yes.

It was fairly busy.

May have been a Thursday night, which is always one of the busiest nights at a video store back in the day.

I was on a register online, about five to seven people.

Okay.

I didn't see him come in, but as I finished checking out a guest, I see Dan Marino walking straight at me.

God, must have been like a ray of light on him.

He's got a big Dan Marino smile on his face.

Yeah.

He puts his movies down and he asks, how I'm doing.

I just kind of froze.

Yeah.

Like, here's this guy I've seen my whole life on TV, and I grew up when he was QB for the Dolphins, so he was a big deal.

And he's just

cutting the line.

Yeah.

I look back at the line.

He's getting his movies.

I look back at the line and I see everybody was looking at me.

I'm like, wow, it's Dan Marino.

Yeah.

But they weren't.

They were more like going, what the fuck?

Why are you cutting us in line?

Don't fucking put your thoughts in their heads.

You don't know what they were thinking.

I look at him and I say, I'm sorry, sir.

There's a line.

He smiled.

He kind of cocked his head a little to look at me like, don't you recognize me?

Yeah.

He then he said something like, it's fine.

I won't take long, which cued the line to start grumbling.

My manager peeked his head out of his office.

Oh my God, that's Damarino.

I can't believe it.

I love this man.

I can't believe this piece of shit's fucking keeping me from getting showgirls.

I want to masturbate in front of of my family.

No, oh, come on, guys.

Another guest said, you're not special.

Another one on the guest line said, fucking Jet fan.

He just cut all of us.

Yeah.

Dan looked pretty indignant.

And he turned to them.

He was like, come on, guys.

My favorite someone yelled from the back, where's your ring?

At that point, Dan was not smiling.

My manner just wanted to diffuse the situation and told him to come around the side and check them out himself.

Okay.

After that, every guest that he cut said something to the tune of, who does that guy think he is?

He thinks he's Dan Marino.

I never saw Dan Marino checking out movies again on my location.

Of course not.

Why would he go back?

Do you treat him like shit?

He was definitely the closest to his house.

All right.

This is insane.

He cuts line.

Of course.

Of course he does.

Dan Marino, the way this works, and I'm going to say this now for all the other celebrities that listen to our show to learn from this, is that you can't just walk to the head of the line.

You have to act obtuse.

What, is he going to be a fucking prop for everybody?

Yes.

Is he there to sign autographs all day?

That's what celebrities are.

Checking out a movie.

But the thing is, is that what happens is, so now you're at the blockbuster right near your home.

What I would have done if I was Dan Marino is first of all, no, no, this could be at a hospital.

He's going to see a Make-A-Wish kid, and the kid wants to see NFL Rocks.

Number one.

Master Blasters for the fucking 10th time.

Number one thing I would have done as Dan Marino's, I would have won a Super Bowl.

Second thing I would have done.

Yeah, he couldn't.

He tried.

He tried very hard.

He couldn't do it.

The second thing I would have done.

That's the Robbie family problem.

That's Shula's fault.

That's everyone.

Not Marino.

They didn't ever give him a proper running back.

Shame shifting around.

Blame getting thrown back and forth.

So, but what I would say is if it was Dan Marino, I'd stand and very obviously be Dan Marino.

He's got a bad ankle.

He can't be standing there all the goddamn time.

I'd stand there until someone recognized me because that's what would happen, right?

I'm sure he was recognized when he came out of his car.

But as soon as the air hit his face, people were just like, Dan Marino.

Oh my God, birds recognize him.

Eddie, all one has to do is to pretend to be humble if he just pretended to be humble

is dan marino supposed to be humble remember that he didn't win the super bowl who cares and the greatest all time it doesn't matter if you don't get the ring nothing matters you don't make it those lists unless you win the rings not the rings

baby so but he would you do is i'm just giving a lesson fake humility have someone go oh my god dan marino he's like yeah and just like you shouldn't be standing in line someone's gonna make skip you ahead they're gonna skip you ahead.

But you have to, it's like Dan Marino.

Like, he has to do, we all have to reach for our wallets.

If we're at the dinner for Dan Marino, the only thing you have to do, you know, Dan Marino is going to pay, but everybody, that social contract is, you have to reach for your wallet and go, well, you know, you know, look at the bill until someone says, I got this, right?

That's how it works.

It's the same way for stuff like this.

Any perk is that you're going to get the perk.

You just have to allow that perk by taking the perk.

No, the manager came and managed the fucking blockbuster like he was supposed to.

But Dan Marino decided instead of the, because he's a field general, but he's not the blockbuster general.

And so he comes in there, and you can't just skip to the top of the line.

People have to celebrate you and want you to come to the top of the line.

This is why Blockbuster closed down.

Yes.

Because they don't know how to treat celebrities.

They don't know how to treat fucking icons.

It's inconsistent.

No, you treat.

I learned this a long time ago.

If you want cool people to come to your establishment, you got to treat them a little better.

But look what happened.

Chris Brown shot that guy.

Chris Brown?

What are you talking about?

Chris Brown?

Led him into a club and he shot himself in the shots a man.

Dan Marino never did that.

He would have if he could.

No, other dolphins did.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

We're very much worse.

Much, much worse.

Well, I think this kid deserved to get fired from the blockbuster radio he worked at.

You're not a proper Miami, and you're probably a fucking Patriot fan or a Bills fan or something.

Go fuck yourself.

All I know is that Dan Marino is an asshole.

He's a nice guy.

He's a great man.

I can't wait to see him anywhere.

Just type in the words Dan Marino is an asshole and see what comes up on the internet.

Of course, people think he's an asshole.

Is Dan Marino nice?

Whether Dan Marino is nice is subjective depends on individual perspective.

That's right.

That's what Google AI says.

Yeah.

Fuck some people may perceive him as arrogant or else.

All right, fuck you, man.

Google AI, fuck you, dude.

Google AI don't know shit about Dan Marino.

They said they've, they have, he has, according to this Google search that I just had Rob do, some people have criticized Marino for for being arrogant.

Why would he not be arrogant?

He's beautiful.

He's got the best arm in the world.

Who cares?

He's got a ring.

He's married.

Technically.

Yeah, anybody can do that.

Eli Madden.

It's sad.

Eli Manning.

Yeah, he's even got more.

Even he's got more.

He won him by accident.

He really did.

He had happy feet.

He didn't know what he was doing.

No, he's kind of like,

he's the least talented man to ever make so much money and have so much success.

I'm not talented.

Eli Manning is not as good as his brother, and he's technically on paper a better quarterback than his brother.

No, he's not.

On paper, stats-wise.

No, he's not.

He won the ring.

So did his brother.

Side stories.

His brother got two.

But Peyton Manning had a try-harder.

Yeah.

Peyton Manning gave his team in.

You are.

I'm never talking sports with you again.

Sports stories.

This is fun.

I like sports stories.

Dan Loreno's a fucking hero.

I have Matt Bachbusters closed.

I hope you're unemployed to this day.

Whoever you are,

fucking listener.

Oh, God.

Here's one more little story.

Treat my people right.

Here's one more story.

I bet that guy doesn't even like alligators.

Probably not.

I got a lot of people reaching out.

First of all, the Epstein, the shirts are coming.

Yeah, we have, you guys want to hear some people's shirt sizes?

No, I don't want to do it.

Don't do it.

We'll read everybody.

You want to read out everybody's addresses that we just received?

You don't want to hear Logan Beard's shirt size.

Come on, Logan Beard.

You want to see?

Come on.

We're telling every people we're dots in your body.

But a lot of people said that when we talked about the screw worms last week, that they had to shut the show off and they almost vomited, which is disgusting.

I love it.

It's awesome.

But I got a great worm story.

All right.

Another nurse story.

I thought I'd share a worm story that I think you'd love hate.

Thank you.

As an ICU nurse, I got a patient who was under observation for new seizures without any medical history.

You don't see me, you see worms.

He was at that age, well-traveled, convinced nothing was wrong with him.

I took him for an MRI, and what showed up on the screen made everyone gasp in fear and pity.

Golf ball size.

How about that?

How about that line?

Having an entire nurse staff gasp in fear and pity.

That's what I wanted.

At the hospital.

And I was like, oh, God.

That's terrible.

So bad.

Golf ball-sized tumor in his frontal lobe.

Or at least.

What they thought was a tumor.

I like the word lobe.

Yep.

Lisa lobe, my favorite lobe.

I worked the night shift so we couldn't get a definitive diagnosis yet, and I was so grateful I wouldn't have to be the one to tell this man that he had cancer.

I came back the next day and asked the day nurse how he took the news.

Worms, she says.

Well, this well-traveled man loved his raw lamb.

And so did the worms.

He was walking around with a golf ball-sized bundle of worms in his brain.

Whoa.

Now we know that that actually qualifies him to be the Secretary Secretary of Health and Human Services because Robert F.

Kennedy Jr.

also famously.

Is that how we got worms in his brain from eating raw meat?

Just being a big unpasteurized milk and stuff.

Yeah, he's just a total, yeah, just total animal.

But there's going to be sugar in Coca-Cola.

You know, I'm just, it's rough.

You got to be careful.

If you hear things squirreling around your brain, man, just go to the doctor.

That's my thing.

And I think that brain worms are bad.

I think puts, I think, is a negative column in your life.

I'd put that in the negative column.

Man, I know I've told a lot of stories today, but you did.

My mother worked at a place where they had like a whirlpool, you know, for people.

And this person came in with a giant foot, you know, like one big foot, one bag foot.

And then there was a band-aid on the foot, and then they put him in the whirlpool and they took and the band-aid came off, and then a bunch of bugs just came out of the foot.

And he's like, that's my family.

And it turns out he was

Mr.

Oogie

from

Nightmare Before Christmas.

That's 1970s Elizabeth, New Jersey for you.

Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy.

Watch them toes.

Wow, what an incredible day to live knowing that the movie Eddington is out.

You're going to see it.

You're going to love that movie.

It's going to make you really, really upset.

And you're going to laugh at the fact that Ari Astor turned down an interview with us.

He listened to our other interviews, and I think that he wasn't ready.

Yeah.

I think he's very serious.

He seems serious.

He's very, very serious, and then it's absolutely fine.

But it is fun because

we were just going to yell at him and ask him what's wrong with him.

Yeah, why are you insane?

Why are you so frightening?

So he probably made the right choice.

Oh, sure.

But Eddington, I will say, we got to see, I'll bust it right now.

We got to see an early screening of Eddington, one of the coolest days of our lives because we got to go to like a little private screening room and see it.

It was awesome.

Thank you, A24.

Thank you.

We love it.

We love it.

And go see Eddington.

It's unbelievable.

I want to say it's my number two movie of his.

I think a lot of people are really upset by it.

Marcus was one.

Everyone

tour if people see this movie.

And Marcus, like, was what I love too about Marcus.

Not only did he get upset about it, but then he does the thing, which I love where he's like, it's a bad movie because it made him upset.

And I was just like, no, it just made me really fucking upset.

People are always like that.

Like, when they're like, oh, you got me so mad.

It's like, yeah.

Maybe it's good because you're still thinking and talking about it.

He won you over.

Ari Astor does a, I mean, it truly takes you right back to the worst part of my, one of the worst parts of my life.

Yes.

Summer of 2020, much like everybody else.

And it is

no one's going to be happy.

No, it is the most upsetting.

It was one of the most upsetting films I've ever seen.

That's what I love about it.

Everybody gets it.

Yeah.

Not a single person from COVID doesn't get it.

That is what I liked about it is because he took every argument of COVID and then made it, made that person look like an idiot.

No matter where you stood on anything.

And made a really good action Western.

It was an unbelievable film.

Great movie.

Go check it out.

And we have no reason to even plug it.

No, but I'm not sure.

I just want you to go see it because it's so upsetting, and I want you to have that.

Did you like it more than Superman?

You know, they are literally the polar opposites

movies.

Oh, no, Pedro's not in Superman.

He's in Fantastic Fox.

Yeah, it's the polar opposite movies.

I would say that Superman actually made me want to see comic book movies again.

Whoa.

That's the closest I've ever gotten to actually giving a shit about a superhero.

But I felt the same way, to be honest, I'm just afraid because everyone's going to yell at me because I felt the same way after watching that as I watched The Last Jedi when I watched The Last Jedi was great.

But that was a movie, but everybody hated it because they don't, because people don't like change.

And I was like watching a movie and I was like, it sounds like they finally made a movie.

They finally just like made a movie.

It's a actual Superman movie.

It's not, I don't feel like I'm being dragged through a field of IP.

I don't feel like I'm being forced to watch all of this other goddamn horse shit in order to watch the movie.

I don't have to go and watch your piece of shit television show in order to understand what's happening in the movie.

I hate that shit.

That drives me crazy.

Don't fucking, don't tie me up with all this fucking garbage.

You know, they really dummy proof it, so you don't have to watch everything.

But the problem is, is that because they dummy-proof it, the sections that are dummy-proofed.

Make me feel like an idiot.

Like, they make me feel like an idiot watching it.

Like when you do this thing where you're like, you're mad.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I know how I feel.

I don't like movies.

I don't like superhero movies that make me have to go buy all their dumb shit.

I like just like, let me go see a movie, which is what James Gunn is doing.

And he's the only person who should be making these big budget movies anymore because it seems like he actually cares about the people that are going to go watch him.

And Ryan Kugler.

I mean, like, it's just more the super, the guys that are making these ridiculous superhero movies that are just.

I like about half of them, I'd say.

Yeah, I mean, I understand that they're like painless, and

you can kind of just watch them.

Like, they're great for hospice, they're great for airplanes and stuff like that.

It's just one of those where, like, I want to see a movie, and that's what was nice.

Superman kind of felt like, oh, wow, we're doing movies again.

Yeah, it was a return to form.

I love it a lot.

But go see Eddington.

They need your love more than Superman.

Superman's going to be in the Superman for like two months.

Superman's fine.

Go see Eddington.

Yeah, go see Eddington.

Ariaster needs support.

He deserves it.

And God, I can't wait to see how upset it makes you.

That is the thing.

I just, I want to go see Eddington and like not even watch the screen, just watch the audience.

Yeah, because I want to bring like a folding chair and sit where the screen is and look at everybody.

It was awesome.

It was the four of us.

It was Rob, Mercus, Ed, and I in an 824 screening room.

They had about five other people in there.

We were the only ones.

Eddie and I were cackling.

Yeah, I was laughing my fucking house.

Cackling.

And everyone.

I wanted Ariasha to be hilarious.

I think he's so, I think he's making the best comedies of the last decade.

And legitimately, Bo is afraid and Eddington have more laughs in it than the comedies I have seen in the last five years.

So Eddington's funny, like legit funny.

It's just going to make you upset.

It's going to make you very mad.

Go to patreon.com slash lastpodcastoneleft.

Give us some money.

You know, watch us flap about things that'll make you upset.

Because that's what we're good at.

And go to all the socials, LP on the left for all that horseshit.

And all of our YouTubes, go to at LPNTV.

That's our new YouTube channel.

Set up someplace underneath.

LPN Romantic, The Foreign Report.

Go check it out because that's where we're putting our stuff.

And we have a lot of stuff.

Go to lastpodcastontheluft.com to buy shows, buy tickets for our live shows.

That's right.

Side Stories is on the road.

We're going to be in Kansas City, Missouri, September 21st.

Redway, California at the Matteo Community Center on October 24th.

On the Crime Wave at Sea.

November 3rd through 7th.

That's crimewave at sea.com slash left.

And November 30th, Columbus, Ohio, Newport Music Hall.

Henry and I spreading around the yucks and of course we're gonna be in Asheville in a couple weeks but that's sold out you can't come to that if you don't have tickets already no we cannot wait to come and entertain you

I love you guys I'm mad that I'm not gonna get in town to eat some 12 bones so if anybody wants to bring some to the show for me I'd really appreciate that what's 12 bones it's the best barbecue in the world and they sell out at like noon every fucking day in Asheville that's always the harbour it's Obama's joint oh wow yeah yeah

you know he's so busy he loves bones it's got to be so hard for him just sitting there on that smoker all day.

He must get so hot, especially with those long-sleeve shirts.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's because of all the tattoos.

Yeah, because you know what the thing about Barack Obama is that I'm really glad he's focusing on things like making movies at Netflix and

food instead of like doing anything.

It's why he likes it so much: it's the only barbecue that brings your barbecue to your table by drone.

Funny, thank you.

Fuck him.

Whoa, yep.

Whoa.

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