Side Stories: Bad Mormons

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USA! Hello, Florida. Your favorite son and biggest baby are coming home to bring you the laughs you deserve.
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It's okay that books are illegal in our schools. It's okay whenever it gets cold, it rains iguanas.
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There's no place to escape to.

This is the lost heart.

On the left.

Side stories?

That's when the cannibalism started.

Side stories.

Yes. Okay, we're rolling.
Honestly, it doesn't even have to be a good excuse i mean at least give give them the grace of coming up with a fun story about why you have to kill them i've always said lie to me like if you're gonna kill me natalie if you're gonna kill me just lie to me what do you mean like don't do it like the what's her name the uh cory richards well like oh come here in the kitchen i got something to show you that's how you get killed how i want to be killed natalie is if you surprise me with the dinner okay and then you you while you're wearing lingerie right and then you put poison in the this very elaborate dinner you've made really thought this out yes yeah and that at the end of it as i'm as i'm fading right you then you just one go one last kiss and you one last kiss because then in the end i didn't know it was coming out. Like Corey Richens, where it's like her husband knew that he was trying to kill him for like months.
She did lie. No, but then she kept trying to kill him.
Get it done, Natalie. Right.
But here's the thing. Natalie, no offense.
You don't cook meat well. No.
You know, and so. Yeah, if I brought you a steak, you would know.
You would know something. Especially because you devised this entire plan now, too.
But then, in a way, when you see it happening, it's almost like a piece. Yeah.
You know what I mean? Knowing that, oh, my end is here. I pictured you in a bathtub, like a bubble bath.
And Natalie was like, all right, Henry, do you want some toast? And then she throws it in there. That's fucked up.
Oh, like Adam's family style. Yeah, that's fucked up, Amber.
I can cook it if you want. And then we'll just put

a curtain over the kitchen. It'd be hard to keep

Henry out of the kitchen. Because he lives in there.

Yeah, yeah, it's true. But if you need,

I can come in. I'll make the really

nice dinner. You'll be like, Henry, I made this for you.

I won't even, you know, I won't look.

I'll hand you the food like this. And so, you know,

I won't see the lingerie. I love it.

Just don't let me see it coming.

Yeah. And then if you want, we could just two in the back of the head when you're on the Toto.
Oh love it. Just don't let me see it coming.
Yeah.

And then if you want, we could just two in the back of the head when you're on the Toto.

Oh, my God.

Honestly, scrap everything I just said.

You need to go on that thing.

Yeah.

You need to go while you're going. Sniper rifle through the bathroom window as I have just completed my time on the Toto.

That's a tough shot.

You can't see through the glass in that section of the bathroom.

Well, Natalie, that's why we're starting to go to the range soon.

Oh, we are.

That's true.

We're going to get trained, and it's for the coming apocalypse.

Thank you.

Thank you for being here.

It's about time that you've come to realize that we're all going to go together.

Yeah, and we are going to go together as a family.

Welcome to Side Stories.

And you are one of the 144,000, right?

Absolutely. You can tell.
It's on my jersey. My name is Henry Zebrowski.
I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. Hello! I am a 4.20 dark.
Yeah, he is. He's up.
I'm at 4.20. 4.20 dark, man.
4.20 fucking dark, dude. The smoke would kiss me, nightly, dude.
Fucking blow smoke in his face, man. Yeah, man.
The fucking demons are coming for you. Yeah.

If we went to a gun range LPN trip, who do you think would freak out first?

You.

You.

Yeah.

You already freaked out at a gun range when you went with my wife.

I started crying and I thought they were going to kick me out.

We got to get you stronger. No, they love that.

They enjoy it.

They film it.

You were like, I think it was, you went and you were like, has anyone ever tried to rob this place? And you're like, we are covered in guns. No one is robbing us.
They can't do it. They literally can't do it.
But we're sitting here with the effervescent investigators and journalists slashed broadcasters. Broads.
These. But the broad and broadcasters.
These stank broads. One of them is my favorite and the other one's my other favorite I'm sitting here with Natalie Jean And Amber Nelson of Someplace Underneath Wow Welcome back I'm excited to have us You've been on last podcast on a left proper Now you're doing side stories I think you're the only guest to do both Wow so how So how does this show differ? Do we make more sounds with our mouths?

We could be way dumber on this episode.

Choo-choo. Yeah, no, people love the

choo-choo. Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-choo-choo.

You're really helping. This is great.
This is honestly

allows our audience to feel like they're in

different environments. Oh, yeah.
That's why I go,

guess what environment I'm in.

Yeah, that's for

our chalkboard people.

Toboggan. A roller coaster? A swing falling down a hill.
We're at the beach. Oh, you're at the beach.
Yes. You're at the beach.
Is that the cyclone? What's the squeaky sound? Birds. That's not a bird.
That's not a bird. That sounds like metal screeching on metal.
More, more men, more men! Hot dogs! We want your hot dogs! This is important. This is what our audience likes.
But one thing that they also like above all else, that is Mormon-based true crime. Now, someplace underneath for the last, I want to say, three years, has been covering Mormon-based crimes.
You are doing a special run right now. Well, yeah, it depends on how you look at it, because the reason we ended up doing this season as Mormon-focused is because since we started the show, a bunch of cases we were covering just happened to have LDS members attached to them, and I didn't even know what the difference was between them and Jehovah's Witnesses when I started, you know, just like one of those ones.
Yeah. And so then when they kept appearing, I was like, what's going on over there at that church? And it turns out a lot.
It's a lot because when you live under these like high intense rules, you're going to go crazy. Yeah.
Yeah. And it seems that even though, you know, especially now that we've been covering Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell for a month, I've gotten many messages over this period of time from what they say.
We kept saying capital M Mormons, right? People that are practicing Mormons within the church. And we got a lot of messages saying, you know, you keep saying to us that our central beliefs as a church are kind of outrageous, but there's plenty of casual Mormons.
And then you start to look into casual Mormonity. A Jack Mormon, if you will.
A Jack Mormon. I love manatees.
Oh, you do. But they specifically are not.
The belief system is very crazy. Yeah, it's not like their special underwear is like sweatpants.
It's still the same. Yeah.
Yeah, they do wear special panties. Do they? Can you tell me about that? They're called garments.
Please, Ed. Yes.
Please, Ed. I'll show you some other form of documentaries if you want to get another view.
They have Mormon porn? Documentary films. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. It's called Mormon Girls.
Oh, really? I brought it up several times on their series. Really? Oh, yeah.
I'm in and out when you talk. No, no.
You would like this. Great, Rob.
Perfect. Don't do this in front of my wife.
There just is. I just wanted to see if there was.
Wow. Just creating facts.
No, it's Mormon Girls with a Z. That's how you know it's cool, streetwise.
Well, there's a huge fetishization of the religion in general is constantly thinking about sex. Even though they're like, don't do it.
Don't do it. Never, never, never do it.
Don't think about breasts. And then it makes you either go crazy or very horny all the time because you're like, I can't touch myself.
I can't touch myself. I can't do it.
It's naughty. It's very naughty.
So that makes sense. There's a bunch of porn.
It's so weird because they're so restrictive, yet everything we always talk about is all the polygamy.

Well, the polygamy is not in the mainstream church anymore, but it's still sex-based.

Everything is about sex and purity and maintaining your sheath. And the girls from a young age start getting these classes about not being chewed gum, quite literally.

They talk about—

Yeah, because they said if you get—that's the same. No man wants to chew pre-chewed gum right so just like putting us as gum and it's so weird as a girl in that religion to be like you got to be pure pure pure for the rest of your life but then you're also expected to have a bunch of kids like where do we think the kids come from yeah yeah big sloppy loads of cum we're just cum baby and also we we they have this unique aspect of having universities that are exclusively Mormon-based, which is really rare for a high-control group.
And we've talked... You've got the Catholics and the Christians.
Don't count them out. That's not a high...
What, in BYU? I'm just saying in terms of don't count out, in terms of how powerful and how horrible other religious institutes can be, like the Jesuits. We're doing a whole live show on the Jesuits and how they have tried to manipulate society using university-level education, but they had Catholic money and respect.
They have, I mean, Mormons have more money than Catholics. But I'm saying...
No, more than the Vatican? Yes. I mean, they're at least comparable to the Vatican.
They are hoarding money. Right now the Mormon church is sitting on about $200 billion.
That's a low estimate. Yes.
And so they are also specifically, Natalie hit me to this, there are specific Mormon hedge funds, which is that's a whole movie in and of itself. $265 billion.
Yeah, it's probably more than that. And so they believe that they are sitting on this money.
We don't know why. And that's a part of the reason why one of my big theories about Chad Daybell and Lori Vallow is that they were actually a part of the Mormon deep state that was trying to flip the Mormon, legit Mormon leadership so that they can get a troll of the money.
That was never going to happen. Well, they got close because of the tap from Tom Harrison and because the two of them got like, and Tom Harrison was close.
I got to say, though, they're still technically that they're the Mormon belt kind of bumpkins compared to they have an entire branch of their church called Enign Peak that is an investment firm on Wall Street.

Those are savvy tech people.

Those are people who make them the billions.

And those are the people who are actually running stuff, including the guy who is the CEO of Neuralink, who is an active Mormon.

We were just talking about Neuralink getting the chip in you.

No, I ain't getting the mark of the beast.

My favorite part about Ensign Peak, though, is that they call all of their investors bishops. Yes.
Oh, that's nice. It's good when you can actually really buy your way in.
Yeah. Well, especially those, because what they believe is that they use our secular ways in order to make money for the church.
They say the Catholic Church is about the same. Yeah.
Wow. That's a lot of money.
And the thing is, though, the Mormon Church is all in America. And so, you know, well, the $260 billion is American currency, I imagine.
It's the American money, yeah. But they're also in, like, Argentina.
Well, I know they have missionaries that go out. Like, you know, I saw Book of Mormon.
It's a blast. But the thing is, if we tax that shit, that's like $30 billion.
We're not gonna. It's wild, though.
That's everything right there. That's education.
That fixes everything. If we just fucking tax it.
It's almost like con artists start churches. And that's the reason why they want to get a hold of this money, because once they get a hold of it, they can do whatever they want with it.
And they can really fuck shit up if they would like to. But that's kind of the beginnings of our conversation.
So obviously, Natalie, our home. It's really fun.
Lots of Mormon. Packed with this shit.
That's great. And so we are up to our, my receding hairline is filled with Mormonity.
And so it's this, yes, it started with your exploration of other cases that got you to the LDS center of all these other various, like, you know, missing women cases. But there's one big case that is right now probably going to be revealed to be massively intrinsically tied to the Chad Daybell and Lori Vallow case.
Chad Daybell looks like a more man. He does.
He does. He does.
But that would be the Ruby Frankie and Jodi Hildebrand case. Now, do you guys want to explain a little bit of what the hell this is? They were two lesbians torturing children in their basement.
About time, lesbians. Way to step up.
How fun have you been out of the playing game for so long? You've been so respectful, just fixing cars and building walls. You know, now you're getting there, you're killing kids.
Yeah, just scissoring. He ruined Sex and the City, the television series.
They were both lesbians in the way that Joe Exotic's husbands are homosexual. What that is to say, Jodi Hildebrandt told a bunch of women that they were lesbians.
Yes. So it wasn't strictly two people in love.

So what are they besides lesbians?

They are, what are they called?

Child fit.

They're mental fitness coaches.

Yes.

Connections with an X.

It's still on Instagram.

Go check it out.

You can look at it right now on Instagram.

Now that came from, so that's a combined effort of Jodi Hildebrandt and Ruby Frankie.

But who are they separately?

How did we get here? Okay. So what is the actual case? We've been covering Ruby Frankie since 2022 because Ruby Frankie is a very famous mommy vlogger in the vlogger sphere.
Many mommy vloggers are Mormon. It's a huge part of the LDS culture.
So she's one of them. And that's a part of your family exploitation series.
Right. And she on camera would say things like, oh, my child in kindergarten forgot to pack their lunch today.
Guess they're not going to eat and say, like, nobody better feed her. So she learns her lesson, that kind of right.
Make her teenage son sleep on a beanbag chair. And this is wrong.
How? I know. I mean, I had a futon for many years.
That's a horrible way for a sleep. Oh, yeah.
That's just because you were too big for a room. Yes.
And that was punishment, even though his exploitation was paying for the home they lived in. But yeah, so we're both very against family vlogging in general.
It's extremely dangerous. But it started with Ruby Frankie's channel, Eight Passengers.
So Eight Passengers was a very famous channel, and it became known to the outside world because she was just kind of proudly showing horrible stuff that she was doing to her kids. Well, it's like ramped up.
It went from her sort of doing quote-unquote regular mommy blogging, which is just showing your children on camera. But that's all it really is.
It is using your children as bait for people to click on your video for you to monetize. Well, for example, she was one of the families that YouTube had to change some of their rules about because parents like her realized that they were getting huge numbers on things for like showing your kid getting their first bra, shaving their legs for the first time.
I can't put my finger on who would be tuning into that, but they were very popular. Senators, teachers, police officers, priests, firemen.
They just want to see how they their daughter. Right.
That's it. Yeah, to get them all ready to go.
So they were making upwards of six figures a month sometimes on videos like that. Damn.
And as the LDS training mixed with the, I think, the madness of the dopamine hits of doing this and getting all this attention, this positive affirmation, she started to spiral. And that's when Jodi Hildebrandt kind of stepped in, who was already doing a bunch of her own things that were crimes, but she never got punished for them.
So it seemed to start with Ruby. Frankie did an extended punishment on her son for some kind of infraction between the kids.
And it seemed like her son was the quote unquote star of the channel. He was very popular.
yes. He was viewed as like the one that the audience liked the most.
They liked to see her son on the show. He was the JTT of the family, if you will.
So was he talented? No. He's mischievous.
There's nothing that happens on these channels except you watch them in their intimate moments. So like it's hard to know whether he's talented.
Maybe he is. He just exists on the show.
And so what happened is they had this extended punishment where his room was taken away from him and he was forced to sleep either outside on various surfaces on the home. And so when this became known, it went viral all over the Internet.
Because she was so at that point had been abusing them so deeply that she posted it herself and like didn't think anything of it. And people were like do you mean he hasn't had a bed in eight months yes lots of people love that type of punishment unfortunately they wish we would go back to it well that's what it feeds right now arnold schwarzenegger is getting praised for how horrible he was to his children really yeah and look at what he did he made a fucking a terrible actor and something else like, talking about how he would, like, burn their shoes if they left him in the wrong place and stuff like that.
And everyone's, like, congratulating him for being strict. But it's like, that seems like it's torture.
It's so weird that people hate kids and you can, like, willingly say that and treat them this way and that's, like, one of the last few bastions of bad morals. Yeah.'t fucking know.
There's a part of me that's like,

with Schwarzenegger, it's okay.

Because he made himself from just his pectoral muscles.

He became a governor because of his pectoral muscles.

Well, yeah, I wish Ruby Frankie would have given us

at least one blockbuster if she's going to do this to her children.

Exactly.

And that's why we're married.

Oh, he has a Nazi father, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Austrian from back in the day, makes sense. It was hard to avoid.
It was hard to avoid. So Ruby Frankie, so it happened is that she had this problem with her son and then he wanted to be a child that did not want to flog and that was not acceptable.
Absolutely not because that's how they make their money. And so she decided to introduce her son to Jodi Hildebrandt's therapy.
Who she got recommended to by church people. So this is all deeply connected.
So now Judy, who is Jodi Hildebrandt? Jodi Hildebrandt is a woman who is a licensed therapist or was until jail. She's now incarcerated for aggravated child abuse.
and she is a part of a much bigger issue within the LDS culture,

which is she is a therapist who engaged in sex addiction therapy. Very similar to Tom Harrison.
Very similar, like, in that same whole world. The idea of, like, having to inspect your children's behavior before they get to be a proper Mormon.
Well, that, and just adults, too. In the Mormon world, sex addiction can mean your husband looks at porn once a month.
They call them a sex addict and they send them to literal meetings like AA. I'm sorry, my computer's just heating up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, just even you just saying.
It's just cough. It's like hot to the touch.
I'm sorry, continue. Oh, I need you to watch porn to kind of just, you know, take the edge off a little bit.
But they'll send you these meetings with like actual child predators because they equate that as the same thing. Yes.
So sex crimes, I should say sexual sin. We covered this with a little bit of talking about in our series about the miracle of forgiveness and how they say any form of sexual outside of marriage, anything outside of marriage is considered the sin next to death.
It is. It is openly said that you can literally go to the Latter-day Saints website right now and see that in writing.
So child molestation, having sex consensually with the same-sex partner masturbating and bestiality is considered the same i mean literally all of it is the same so if you end up in one of these sex addiction centers or in these uh 12-step programs in the church you might be somebody who is a weekly masturbator next to somebody who had kids in their basement and got out of jail and is on the sex offenders register. Weekly masturbator, my nickname in high school.
My thing is, honestly, there's a part of me that says, if you masturbate once a week, it's even worse than masturbating every day. I prefer you masturbate every day.
Because if you're masturbating, if you feel like there's something about, like, well, it's Tuesday. You know what I mean? Like there's something about, like, ha, ha, ha ha, finally it's masturbation day.
That's why at LPN you have mandatory masturbation meetings for people who aren't masturbating. Studio three.
That is what we've been doing recently. And I want to say thank you to the wives.
They've been doing a really wonderful masturbation accountability meetings for us to make sure we have. Yeah.
Because they said it's just so much better than doing the act themselves. Yeah.
Thankful. So, Julie's so thankful.
So thankful. And I just want to say thank you.
Took care of that. Yes.
Now we can move on. Now we can have dinner.
You just, I mean, if you don't, you're just climbing up the walls like an exorcism. I have to.
Yeah, I know. Now, this is, and that's life.
Also, you don't have masturbate every day you don't don't necessarily listen to henry it's probably best if you don't know it's fine if you do but it's fine if you do if you need to do it totally fine you go out and you do it all right it's the beginning of the year have you been following through with your New Year's resolutions? Have you been doing your thing?

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So Jodi Hildebrandt was one of these therapists. There's a huge network of therapists in the LDS community who make millions of dollars from these people who come in for their services.
Because Jodi Hildebrandt costs big money. Jodi's house when she was arrested was valued at $6.5 million, I believe.
When everybody has a sexual addiction, yeah, they're all going to go to her and give her money. And they charge you out the fucking, talk about it, out of the dick and balls.
They charge you up and it's crazy too. It's coming for the husband.
$50 every time you jerk off. Really? Yeah.
Oh, I would have

believed it. I'd just be like,

here's $250, right? We'll see you next week.

I just need you to hold on to that.

It's tens of thousands of dollars they're giving

these people. And it's church

recommended. So the church

is telling them when they go to their

bishops, they go,

I touched my Peter. I touched it.

And then the bishop goes, you need help. For science? me that's the first thing he asked was it for science are these real bishops or are these the the appointed ones that are just like rich people there's no actual clergy in the lds church it's only people who have so it could be uh your plumber is also your bishop they are people who have never been to school and they have other jobs.
So you're going and talking to this guy who might also be like doing your HVAC about your masturbation, including kids. They're going to these dudes.
That makes me scared for like tattletales, because what if they work at CVS and they see me getting Plan B? That's what they do. They do.
It's a high control group. They work from the inside.
I was that was one of the it's it's not funny. Oh, no, no.
But I was watching Hidden True Crime. Whenever Henry says it's not funny, that means it makes him laugh very hard.
Yeah, and it's not funny. But there was a guy in one of these groups that was talking about how he was paired.
He's a full grown father, business owner. So one thing they do, right, they kind of kick the husband out, right? They kick the husband out of the house.
Well, under Jody's practice, yes. Right, so they get rid of him, right? And then they have to go on these weekly accountability zooms where they all talk about how they're not masturbating and how great they are at not masturbating.
And then that was Ruby Frankie's husband.

That's Ruby Frankie's husband,

who is the fucking biggest bitch of all time.

Yeah.

He is such a fucking person.

Throw tomatoes.

Fucking bitch.

Fuck you.

What's his fucking name?

He is so full of shit.

And he's making money on this documentary series,

acting like he did anything.

Look at this bald prick. People, people, some people defend him.
I am a 100% Kevin hater. Entee him.
I am entee him. He obviously knew what was going on.
He got kicked out of the home and then he started, he just decided to be like, well, whatever. But one of the stories I was reading that wasn't funny was a full grown man was paired with a 16 year old boy and he had to, him-year-old boy had to call each other every week, and him being like, yeah, there's a girl, Becky Evans, in class today, she was wearing a low-cut shirt, and I really had to think about it.
Meanwhile, the other guy was like, yeah, yeah, I'm fucking with my 401k, and I had a really stressful week. And he had to talk to me, a 16-year-old.
Oh, that sounds really bad. Better not jerk off.
I'm not thinking of jerking off. No, I'm not, Billy.
I'm not. Definitely not.
It must be hard for this guy not to jerk off when he looks like a clitoris. He is garbage.
This guy is a fucking moron. I cannot defend this man.
He makes me crazy. Yeah, I don't.
I think that because so explain even further. So now how why are we here? So now Jody Hildebrandt.
Well, we you know, fast forward a little bit. How we even know about these crimes is the fact that we saw there was ring camera footage of an emaciated little boy coming out of home, which was in Jodyody Hildebrand's mega mansion, ringing the doorbell and saying, can you get me in touch with the police? I have a personal matter.
I need to speak with the police. This is the neighbor's ring cam? Close by person.
And it's in Utah. So he had to walk through desert and rocks.
He's barefoot. He didn't walk like half a mile.
Handcuffed and like duct tape over the handcuffs.

So like, like cuts and bruises.

Covered in blood.

Push him into cactuses and stuff as a baby. And he was Richard Hamilton style tan.
Yeah. Which is from working in the backyard.
She'd have to make work in the backyard for hours and hours and stand in the backyard and do all these things. because they probably believed,

much like how we're going to get to now,

connecting to Chad Daybell and Lori Vallow,

is that by being naughty children,

they were letting evil forces into them and the only way to get rid of the evil forces and all of these children this is the heart of jody hildebrandt's and ruby frankie's program was that you have to severely punish them in order to make the goodness come back, which doesn't seem to work.

No.

I mean, it's that old thing.

It's like when people,

I always bring it up as like,

if you hit a bad dog,

it makes them a worse dog.

You know?

Sure.

And I know these are children and not dogs,

but it's just an expression that I've always like.

Yeah, sometimes it turns them into Michael Jackson,

but then they also turn into Michael Jackson.

Exactly.

Well, very rarely.

And also,

then they sometimes turn into Michael Jackson,

if you know what I'm saying.

That's what I mean.

That's what I just said.

Yeah.

Thank you. but then they also turn into Michael Jackson.
Exactly. Well, very rarely.
And also, then they sometimes turn into Michael Jackson, if you know what I'm saying. That's what I mean.
That's what I just said. Yeah.
That whole thing is a case. They turn into Michael Jackson and then they turn into Michael Jackson.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That whole Michael Jackson thing is a case of he said, he said.
Okay. I like that joke.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's allowed.
Making direct eye contact. He's allowed.
It's called listening. I'm listening.
I'm listening. Yeah.
And I think also on that point, I think it reflects more on the person who's hitting than the person who's receiving the hitting that that's saying a lot about your character and how much of a child you are. But one of the things I don't think is always mentioned is that the reason that Kevin Ruby's husband her eldest son, Chad, had to leave the house, according to Jodi Hildebrandt, their therapist, who was becoming enmeshed with their family, which she had done to multiple families before this.
But that'll be the big one of the big reveals is that Jodi Hildebrandt's been doing this for a long ass time. Just never to a family vlogger.
So it was very insulated inside the LDS church. But this is like I think they had like almost 2 million subscribers on YouTube.
Yeah, so you would watch it and it was two women sitting on the couch talking about accountability and like punishment culture. And meanwhile they're...
Connections. With an ex.
And meanwhile there's two kids in a safe, in a human-sized safe locked behind them. This picture right here behind them and behind that door is a human-sized safe where two children are locked.
And they're like, help me help me mommy I'm hurting I'm hurting and if you watch the body cam footage it's some of the most haunting shit you'll ever see because they walk through this the cops are clear in the house they find obviously Jodi Hildebrand's on her phone with her lawyer because of course she has a very very powerful lawyer they go walk through they find a little boy just sitting in a walk-in closet. It was a little girl.
Looked like a little boy. In a walk-in closet.
She was emaciated. The cop was so heartbroken.
He just sat with her, trying to get her to respond and talk to her. Because she'd been conditioned to not.
Yes. And then they're walking through the hallway, and they're looking for two more kids.
And there's two more kids in this fucking house. There's just one.
Oh, there's just one? Two total. Because the one other one was up.
Was the one who escaped. Yeah.
And then they start hearing noises in one of the bedrooms and hear that they are listening to videos in the basement. You hear videos and sounds of the kids crying coming up from the vent.
And then they have to find where the vent goes and they find them inside. They find the kid inside a safe.
Whoa. Yeah.
So in the body cam, they're not in the safe, but they are in the safe most of the time. We just don't have body cam footage of them in it.
She was in a closet. Sorry.
What's in the safe? Is it just chairs? It's a child. They're preppers.
LDS people are preppers in general. It is meant to be a place.
If there's like zombies coming, you can close yourself in or you can close a zombie in or a prisoner in and it has a bed, it has a fridge and all this stuff, but no way to escape, no way to get out and no windows or anything. So the reason this even happened in the first place, I think is we should mention because we're talking about sex addiction is Jodi told Ruby that, you know, the husband, you know, her husband is engaging in sexual sin.
He's masturbating. He wants to have sex with her all the time.
That's not okay because they're not making kids, whatever. And then the eldest son who was forced to report any sexual feelings to his therapist and his mother confessed that he had masturbated.
Jodi convinced Ruby that that was the reason that Jodi was being possessed by demons because she was having full on in the Frankie home having full on like exorcism like cum ghosts. It's very similar to the Cougars Dorp cult that we covered where she would be pretending to be attacked by demons and go into these fake seizures and these fake sort of motions and she'd be like, this is what your son's masturbating is doing to me.
And so because of that, Ruby is totally like, oh, Jodi is one of the saviors. Jodi is trying to convince everyone that she's, she's writing the next part of the Bible.
Well, yeah, what are the, so that's one of the big things that also got revealed. What are they called? Like the jet papers? The pen papers.
The pen papers. And so because they've now completely, like just spun out into this idea that now Jodi is this like ethereal being who's going to lead everybody out.
And this is all LDS stuff, by the way. Ruby's convinced.
They kick out Kevin. They kick out the eldest son.
They kind of kick out the eldest daughter, too. And then spiral out.
And we're watching it online. People who are covering this.
She takes her family channel offline. And then it returns with just Ruby and and jody on their connections bullshit and so that's when the two women are sitting on that couch they're at jody's house and they have i i don't know how to explain these videos i really feel like you need to go watch them because it's these two like uh they look like you know martha stewart-ish like kind of ladies being like, hi, everybody.
It's so great to be here. No, they're pure evil.
And then they just spin out into, you need to beat your children. The demons are in your children and you have to beat it out of them.
And they're talking like that. Yeah.
See, my mom beat me for fun. Yeah, exactly.
And you know what? And it shows. Because it really did build a fun attitude in you.
She threw a phone at you, right?

Yeah, threw a phone, hit me with the back of wood.

I mean, we all got beat with the phone.

Yeah. Didn't you get hit with it? I got hit with the phone.

But it has a cord on it. Yeah.

Mine was cordless.

Wow. Fancy.

That's that Boca Raton abuse.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now,

so even if the kid was being quote unquote good and not masturbating, this other woman could just be like, he's masturbating. And he's like, I'm not, I'm not.
This is not the first time she's done this to a family. So she methodically gets the men.
Yeah, sometimes the mom can even sit on, accidentally sit on the dishwasher and if she even gets kind of wet, Jodi starts switching. She shuts at your door.
Jodi doesn't... You got any wet pussies in here? Here's some wet pussies right here.
Here's some slouchy wet pussies up in here. No, guys.
She loves the wet pussy. She does not want a boner around her by a fucking 10-mile radius.ody Hillebrandt don't like the dudes.
No, she despises, she loathes men. Which I don't understand, man.
Dudes are fucking awesome. Fuck you, dude.
Dudes are fucking awesome. I'm fucking looking at my gains.
I know, baby. Look at that.
I got fucking gains, dude. Dudes fucking rocks.
Yeah, man. You got a fucking clam under there.
Yeah, man. Fuck that shit, man.
Jodie just hasn't met a real man. That's it.
Well, she has prison guards, you know. Wow.
Well, she's in a lady. She's going to be in a lady prison.
So she already is. Yeah.
Doesn't mean there's not male guards. A lot of them are.
They're more thick women.

So obviously because she's LDS, she has never come out openly as a lesbian because you are not allowed to be gay in the LDS church. Absolutely.
See what they have. What she has is not lesbianism.
It's very different. SSA.
Yes. Well, no, when she's with the women, it's not lesbian sex.
They are normally. I can even see what she's saying to them because it sounds it's very similar to Chad Daybell and Lori Vallow where they use the past lives.
I could see her using past lives. I could see her using, saying stuff like, I was, I can literally see her say, I was a man in a past life.
It's okay for me to be doing this to you because we're enacting the same thing because look at laurie vallow and the new uh that new interview she did that's the first thing that she says is that it was totally cool for me and chad to fuck because we had already been married for 31 different lives yeah so it doesn't really matter just like ice cream flavors you can just make it up if you have enough money exactly yeah anybody gets it yeah 350000 to get into heaven. That's it? That's it.
Wow. You can even get, I mean, technically a Ferrari you can get.
I mean, it's a good investment. Just drive it right through the golden gates.
It fits eternally. What, for these bitches? I don't want to be in the same heaven as Ruby Frankie and Jodie Hildebrand.
I want to go up there and get mad. You don't want to be there with Josh Duggar? I want to jerk off in heaven.
You can. I don't know if you can or not.
I don't know. In LDS heaven, I don't think you can.
What would you rather? I don't think clouds are made. Burning forever, but you can jerk off, or no burning, and you can't jerk off? How do you jerk off while you're burning? It's just one of those perks.
If you're burning forever, I guess you figure it out. Get used to it.
You will eventually acclimate. Yeah, that's true.
I mean, I was on your pretty face is going to hell. I'd rather be hot than cold.
So, yeah. See, I prefer to be I don't like being cold, but I'd rather be cold because then I can put on a sweater.
I don't know if they have sweaters. It's hell.
You're right. Yeah.
It might just windbreakers. Check out adult your pretty face is going to hell.
It's pretty good. Live from your grave.
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See Mint Mobile for details. Now, we talked a little bit about how do all of these things touch Mormon tips? So, yeah, the wrap-up of that whole story is after they start to spiral, Jodi and Ruby start to kind of move into Jodi's house, which is five hours south of where these her minor

children still are.

And she's just letting the kids sleep alone in the house.

This is Ruby Frankie.

Yeah.

The kids are alone.

The neighbors see this.

The eldest daughter tries to stop it.

The youngest, I think, was eight or nine. Okay.
Oldest was teens. And the eldest daughter, who had completely rebelled from all of this, who was the only smart person in this family, I think, other than the children, she has been trying to call CPS.
She's called the cops. Nobody is doing anything about these children being abandoned.
and eventually, Jodi and Ruby take the two youngest kids from Ruby's house all the way down to St. George to Jodi's house.
And that is where they began torturing them for months and months. And the only reason they got rescued is that little boy saved them from death.
They were going to die. Oh, yeah.
They were slowly killing them. Well, what we're seeing now, too, is we know for a fact they had a plan to buy real estate.
They were going to buy land. They were going to leave.
Further out in the desert, yeah. They were already starting to use the terminology that we saw in the Chad Daybell-Laurie Vallow case.
Zombies. Zombies.
Ruby Frankie used the term zombies. Were they ranking them by numbers? No.
That was specific Chad

Daybell. That's his jazz.

He put his spin on it. We talked about this.

There is something that they did because

Chad Daybell, which we said

on the show, was

unable to imagine.

He literally couldn't imagine things.

Every single time he came up with

something, it was connected to something

to pop culture. So I believe that the zombie demarcation came from The Walking Dead.

Because I think it was one of the only things that they were sort of allowed to watch that was vaguely naughty. And I think that they watched it.
I think they had heard about zombies. I also believe Ruby Fanky and Chad Daybell use that short term terminology in order to cover up crimes by if anybody asked all of this stuff about zombies, they can be like, yeah, isn't it? That's ridiculous.
That's why we were saying we were playing around on text. See, I disagree with you on that point.
I know we're just going to agree to disagree on that because I think that they took that extremely. I don't't think they understand I think the way that they are raised inside of this fantasy world of the LDS culture they don't really comprehend the difference between pretend movie terms is it like religious autism kind of well it's more like religious scrupulosity I think personally but he's also born out of fear though that's what I looked up it was more born out of fear so like Lori Vallow, Chad Daybell Jodi Hildebrandt you think that they really believe what they're doing I think that they have to method act to the point especially with like Lori I think that they know ultimately what they're doing is wrong but they can't connect to that part because then they're child killers I think they have to accept it has to be correct it correct.
It has to be right. That's what we were saying last night, watching Lori Vallow.
Lori Vallow is now in the point of her life where it must be correct. Chad Daybell definitely had a foot out.
I think Chad knows a lot more than it was bad. He told everybody different stories, even up to the very, very end.
Lori valo is now obviously staying in character but up until

then chad daybell's been the only one really breaking character but this is why i do think

that it does serve two purposes what we're seeing is what they don't understand is what you call

the satanic duality which is this idea one of these things that you do where you're saying

this funny cover-up thing like you're saying this idea you're calling it zombies so that

Thank you. you do where you're saying this funny cover-up thing like you're saying this idea you're calling it zombies so that you each other it's code to each other and it has the added ability if someone stumbles along it they can be like oh what is this and they can scoff it off where they do take it deadly seriously yeah but they know they know they take deadly seriously.
But what they've learned from every single secret school throughout all of society is that you have to make the exterior look ridiculous so that nobody will venture and see the secrets from within. Because, God forbid, we all save ourselves, Eddie, because we'll crowd up the Mormon afterlife.
Because that's all they want to do is get to the afterlife with the least amount of mouths to feed. And that's us.
The way I look at it is if you have, I don't know, multiple burner phones, you know, you're doing something wrong. It's like you went to a kiosk in the mall several times.
You know, Mint Mobile's rates by hand. But like you chad um laurie's uh adult son who escaped the fate of death uh he talks about her all the time and says yeah also laurie would tell me his mother would tell him these visions she had and he would quite not he wouldn't say to her but in his head he'd be like we just watched the show with this scene in it like two weeks ago.
You just incorporated this into your life. But I think he thinks that she thinks that their messages to her, I don't think she's just going, I'm going to trick all these people with this.
I just think it comes down to they're Mormons. I agree.
They've never had to do anything creative in their life. And it is just a lack of creativity.
They're already told these things they need to believe that don't make any sense. And I'm not trying to say that people who are LDS are stupid.
They're not. But the leadership benefits from them not learning outside of the bubble.
Oh, yeah. Believe me.
That's what I say to you. I mean, there's got to be, like, good Mormons, right?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes.

The majority of them are lovely people.

It is just more understanding,

which I've even said to some of our casual Mormon listeners,

and what they call Jack Mormons,

that I do understand why you're in it.

I do understand if you've been born in it,

it brings a lot of comfort.

I do understand that a lot of the societies themselves

I'm sorry. I do understand why you're in it.
I do understand if you've been born in it, it brings a lot of comfort. I do understand that a lot of the societies themselves, you'd even consider to be vaguely nice, if not blatantly racist and homophobic.
You'd walk through them and you'd kind of be like, oh, what a nice town this is. Well, this is a nice place.
All these people are so friendly. And I do think there is, they believe there's room for casualormonism but the it's just the the base beliefs are so fringe that you're so all-encompassing that it takes you have to do so much to maintain mormon uh like your your temple recommend and everything right like you could be catholic and go to church on christmas once a year you're still as long as you're confirmed yeah and you're you know sending the check every once in a while.
But Mormonism, 10% of your income every time, and they'll find you. They literally have finance meetings with you at the end of the year if you have not paid 10% of all of your income.
They know what you make. They know how much money you've given them.
If God is real, he'd take it out of my account himself. I agree.
If God is an actual entity, he would delete them. He'd just take the money.
Also, wouldn't God just make up money? Wouldn't God just use his magical abilities and just give them fucking money? Well, that's why the hoarding of the billions, which they say is supposed to be for the last days. Zion.
Makes no sense. Nobody needs money.
What are you buying? If it's just you. What are you buying from who? For what? If you need a come to the end, what do you need a checking account for?

If the earth split open and Jesus is here.

Money's not real.

It's literally a handful of elders.

One of them is 99 years old.

No, he's 100.

A hut.

What's his name?

Russell Nelson.

He looks nasty.

He looks like a skinwalker.

And they sit in a literal throne.

That's the top of a building. At the ivory tower, yeah.

But Amber, okay. You're the last single woman member of this network.
Should I go let him finger me? Yes. With his Crypt Keeper hands? If you could just take one for the team.
He wouldn't even know. You could probably just put an orange next to your legs.
If you took a... Ah, sweet.
Just sit. I knew.
I knew a woman's tender juices would bite upon my knuckle. I knew it would bite.
If you get in there, you get real close to him, right? Lori Vallowen, be like, I'm the new one. Yeah.
If you roll in from out of town and be like, I had a vision. I talked to Jesus last night.
We rode together on a scooter here this morning. I know him.
He's my buddy. Jesus is my fucking laser fucking dojo.
He's my fucking lay down, do anything soldier. Right? He might just kind of let you take the whole thing.
Maybe.

Give me that bank account,

baby. There's two dudes waiting.

There's the top guy, then there's two

underneath him, and they're the ones who get it.

The youngest one is 91, I believe.

It would take you a total, I mean this,

it would take you a total of 20 minutes to fuck

each one of them to death. Sure.

I'd fuck them to death. The issue is, they don't

touch grass. How do you get to the tower? How do you get to the top? You dress up as a fucking catering outfit.
Oh, okay. You dress up in a catering outfit.
HVAC. You hide inside of a thing.
You wait for August. They need their AC.
Have a Mormon. Oh, he looks like a demon.
Russell Nelson's little forehead kisses. He looks like Ken Aykroyd from Nothing But Trouble.
No, I think I actually said that on the show before. What's nice about Russell Nelson is that he can remove his lips from his face to kiss you.
You actually don't have to get close to his teeth and throat. Man, it is about your...
Look at his band-aid. You see the top? Oh, cute.
It really is about your inner thoughts and your inner world, and they do make your face. Because I bet he wasn't bad looking, but his just hatefulness is...
I don't know. He looks like a crypt keeper.
He's a hundred years old. Honestly, it is frightening the fact that he's a hundred years old and he is that still upright.
That's this is old. He doesn't look like this anymore.
It's amazing that your hearing goes, but your ears grow. Oh, buddy.
You know, it's so weird. Why do your ears get bigger? It's already happening to me.
Yeah, it's happening to me. I'm getting the big chunks.'m getting the pop-pop hair.
I'm getting the big chunks of white sticking out of the bottoms of my ears. I love it.
And you got, I mean, whenever we were born, he was already a geriatrics man. Yes.
That's crazy. Please, please give me a child.
If you want to see what he looks like now, you can look up his 100th birthday party to see the condition. Dear Stamber, you already have my last name.
Who's the Mormon? Dear Stamber, let me cum in your hair. Do they have a Tom Cruise? You know, like how Scientology's got Tom Cruise? Mitt Romney! Mitt Romney's their guy? Well, Tim Ballard was, which we're about to get into heavily on someplace underneath.
But Tim Ballard, he did a little bit of the finger popping, right?

Well, he did the couple's ruse.

I think he's right now is nine accusers.

Yeah, he was doing a, of course.

Oh, God, get him off there.

I can't even look at him anymore.

He looks like a preacher from Poltergeist 2.

This is much better.

You can tell he's a bloated alcoholic.

Tim Ballard has the same, I definitely don't want to cheat on my wife face that RFK Jr. has.
Oh, they are a Tim Ballard is a man that is a, he's an up and coming power broker inside of the Mormon church. He was, he got excommunicated.
He looks like he had a great time in 2002. He did.
Oh, I bet. He did.
And then he ran an anti-human trafficking, uh, thing. I think it was, it was called called Sound of Freedom.
No, the movie's called Sound of Freedom. The organization is called Operation Underground Railroad.
Which he stole from, I think it was... Slave? Viola Davis? Oh, right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Viola Davis movie made Sound of Freedom.
Well, he produced it, which is a movie that's supposed to be about him that is completely propaganda. Yes, I remember when it came out and everyone bought tickets and didn't go and all that shit.
Well, the church bought a bunch of the tickets. The church, and they had all these TikToks of people going into the movie theater and being like, there's no one here, but they said it was sold out.
Looked like they don't want us to see it. And I was like, no, the church bought the tickets.
Yeah, because they want to make it look like people are seeing it. Yeah, you fucking idiot.
You're fucking blowing the cover. You're blowing the cover.
There was one where the air conditioning was out, and this woman was on TikTok being like, they don't want us to go see it because the AC blew out. The government is doing big propaganda.
I was like, they could do more than just shut off the AC. Yeah, the movie wouldn't even be in the theater.
Yep. But, so Tim Ballard, doing his Operation Underground Railroad,

what he was doing to help women that were, quote-unquote, being trafficked,

is that he would have them go into his own personal hotel room,

and they would do a Mormon thing that is supposed to be during the Mormon post-apocalyptic scope,

which is, or I also believe they do it on missions, too.

What?

Where the concept of, the conceit of the couple's ruse. No, that's something totally to Mellor meet up.
Is that just a thing? So the idea is that it's just brought up in Visions of Glory. Visions of Glory has the couple's ruse not called that, but it's the idea that you would travel the world with a woman that's not your wife, but you have to pretend to be husband and wife so that people don't know that you're a Mormon Avenger.

So Tim Ballard's entire-

So they want you to just travel the world

and lie to everybody?

No, well, they, okay, so they,

Tim Ballard, guys, this is so intensely deep,

but we can't talk about it all today,

but Tim Ballard would say he was going to rescue children

in impoverished countries because, you know,

there's no child molesting happening in the LDS church. That's not where you would want to stop the child molestation.
You want to go to some other country outside of, like, people who are professionals in stopping human trafficking and do it yourself because you are special. And he would offer the families be like, I'll give you $4,000 for this baby.
And, like, they would be like, yeah. Cha-ching! Cha-ching! And then, so essentially, he's trafficking the kids.
Yes, he is. And he was using, the way he would go to find places to find the children that he had saved was using a psychic, who was an LDS housewife who followed him around and told him her thoughts about where he should go.
It's a child right here. I think I smell a child.
And where would he go? I forget which countries. I think I want to say like Thailand.
I can't remember off the top of my head. Oh, it's easy to find kids in Thailand.
But the church and LDS members were, he made like a, I don't know, like $50 million in donations for this group. And then he would bring these guys out.
Haiti, Colombia, and Mexico. Haiti, Colombia, and Mexico.
And the entire time, he was taking these LDS women who are naive, who want to be, they want to save children, and they want to help, and he would say, okay, I believe that you can do this with me, but you have to listen to whatever I say, because if you don't, the kids are not going to get saved. And then he'd be like, we need to make the traffickers believe that we are married.
And they're watching us so closely that they know what we're doing in this room. Yes.
So we have to practice intimacy for when we go out there. And so we're going to take a shower together.
And then slowly it was escalating to sex. And these women don't know anything about consent.
They're like, wow. Well,'t like it.
But they're like conflicted because they think they're saving the world's children. Well, they got told that.
And if you say no to this man, you're a bad person. It's not even just that you're a bad person.
It's that you're putting the whole mission in danger. You're compromising the mission.
Yeah, because you won't take the slippery slummy. You won't lay there while he rubs his denim pant leg on you.
And when they would push back and say no, he would freak out on them and be like, because of this, that kid's going to die. And so, after a while, a bunch of them went, wait a second, I feel like something's wrong here.
And eventually they started a lawsuit against him. And it was only at that point the church excommunicated him.
But the church, there's a bunch of heads of church who knew what he was doing. Oh, definitely.
Let it happen. But all of that to say.
Because they thought that he was going to be president of the United States of America. And also the next prophet.
So all that to say, Tim Ballard is connected to Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell and is connected to Jodie Hildemrant. These are all taught by the same people.

They're all approved by the same people.

Tom Harrison is a big old center point of all of this thought, visions of glory, that old fuck.

And Maurice Harker.

There's a couple people who connects them.

He looks like you'd scare me in the dark.

No, he just looks like you in the light.

He looks like the last thing Gene Hackman saw. No! It was himself in the dark.
No, he just looks like a light. He looks like the last thing Gene Hackman saw.
No! It was himself in the mirror. Oh, yeah.
Look at those eyes. Piercing.
Get out of here. Get those eyes out of here.
When they masturbate, that's what they see in their minds. Yeah, they just see Russell Nelson winking.
It's weird how they like... I see you have a low seed pool today.
It's interesting because there are a lot of Mormons. It's a growing religion, I believe.
No, it's shrinking. It's shrinking.
Yeah. But there is still a lot, right? Millions.
Millions. Yeah.
And it is a very American new religion. Like you're right earlier.
It does. It is around the world with missionaries, but it's an American religion because Joseph said, trust me, bro, and then found these plates and it does profit off of capitalism.
And it was starting. Utah was becoming a state at the same time Mormons moved to Utah.
Yeah. And it was, you know, they believe Jesus came to America and all that stuff, right? They believe 17 million members.
But I think that it was the way they've gotten away with all this shit for so long is that Mormonism just seemed like such a fringe thing that they've been able to like hide in plain sight. Because I didn't give a shit to look into any of this.
Same thing. They're also goofy.
And you think that like that's all. It's a skill.
They use the facade of being wholesome looking. This is one of those things I try to tell our audience all the time.
Like you got to real, like you really don't want to believe how easily you're fooled. I am too.
I am. I'm not better than you.
It's just more understood. Once you kind of understand like how insidious it is, how quickly they kind of gain your trust and you kind of think that they're normal and fine.
And it's just hard. That's why even when I was talking about the legal advocates, I'm saying this for everything.
People need more scrutiny over your personal relationships. I know you guys get a ton of pushback about talking smack on religion, but the issue is not that religion is bad, but the way that it's set up in this country, it kind of welcomes in con artists because there's no oversight.
If they get financial. Well, there's no tax.
They don't pay taxes. But secondly, if you say something is under a religious blanket, nobody can push and challenge it, which means the worst human beings are going to float to the top and do horrible things under the guise of religion.
and we just have to go, well, it's America. It's freedom of religion.
We can't really mess with that. Let's all say one nice thing about Mormonism.
This is a very brighter side thing. One nice thing about some form of organized religion.
Organized, oh, not Mormonism? Yeah, just organized religion as a whole?

Yeah, maybe that, yeah.

Maybe that's easier.

They have nice buildings.

They're pretty.

Even though a lot of greed went into it.

Even though I can't fucking go in?

I should be able to go in

at the time I want!

Okay.

You can't go into a Mormon church?

You can.

You can go into the church.

You can't go into the temple.

I went inside of the SLC one.

You can go inside of it,

but only so far.

The church, the temple, you have to go through all of these processes, including when we're in the underpants, to get into the temple. I went inside of the SLC one.
You can go inside of it, but only so far. The church, the temple, you have to go through all of these processes, including when the underpants, to get into the temple.
And they check your underpants? They do, yeah. You get shard on it.
You can get shard on one of the any of the... If you shard anywhere...
Oh, that's why they call them pews. Yes.
Thank you. You're right.
Because of the sharks. Another influencer...
There's garments there. Oh, okay.
Have you ever seen a woman getting sprayed while she's in a hose while she's in one? No, never. Is that in your documentary? It's in one of them.
Is there a hole where the girl's underwear is? Or does she take off the bottom? They're shorts. They used to be one piece until I think the mid-60s or something like that.
Again, because of the short revolution of 20. But one of the influencer privileges that the church overlooks because the influencers get people into LDS culture is they never wear their garments.
They are allowed to dress seductively. Right.
Like Nara Smith. She's Mormon.
Yes. The garment thing is kind of weirdly up for kind.
It's a contentious thing right now. Well, if you're a normal everyday temple holder, you have to wear them still.
Yeah. You have to dress like that.
But I wanted to say what I can say good about Mormonism. Napoleon Dynamite came from BYU and they were all Mormons.
Oh, yeah. All right.
See? It's all been worth it. This whole time.
I love Napoleon Dynamite. Can you look up the temple? Because it does look like the Eye of Sauron.
The temple is honestly strikingly beautiful. The OG big boy temple.
It's quite big. It's quite beautiful.
Yeah, see? I don't know. It looks spooky.
That's the DC one. Oh, that's the DC one.
The main one is pretty beautiful.

We drove by one going to Southern California, and I was like, what is that?

And it took me a second to be like, oh, that's the Mormon temple.

No, this is the-

So you like the architecture.

That's not-

I don't mind it.

It's interesting.

It's just one of those things that I just, again, I just feel like one solid neutron

bomb will really make that place a nice spot.

Like, I'd like to be in that place. I want to- I think that we could knock out a bunch of those walls.
I think we could put a great pool in there. I think that we could have a great rooftop bar.
Like, that's what I want is that rooftop bar right there. I think that we could put a roller coaster like they did on New York, New York on the top of it.
Some of these we're not supposed to be able to see, but of course the internet made it. This is the only thing I will agree with on Trump is that if Trump could buy him, I want that into a Trump Tower.
Oh, yeah. That is appropriate.
That's what needs to be a Trump Tower. If I could get that and the Vatican being a Trump Tower, I'm actually pro him.
Oh, the Vatican. Like if all people are always asking, if humanity was existent, that stopped happening, what would you do if you're walking around? I would get on a boat.
I'd go to Europe. I'd find the Vatican, walk around.
Yeah, that's it. Yeah, first and foremost.
I got a brighter side for Mormonism. Are you ready for this? Sure.
When I used to go to spring break in Panama City every year when I was in college, they would often host free pancake breakfasts. And I would get free pancakes every morning, thanks to the Mormons.
and then they come and they talk to you and you know you're so drunk you can't really pay attention so i'm i i i thank the mormons for the the pancakes every morning to soak up the booths from the night before yeah and that's you know and i i literally until we started doing Chad Daybell and Lori Vallow, I was like, Mormons, pancakes.

That's what I thought of them.

The most insidious indoctrination of all.

Wow, it worked on him.

All of those people handing you pancakes probably were missionaries, and they paid to do that.

They weren't getting paid.

And they're not allowed to eat the pancakes.

They paid the church to do that.

He's been writing in Mitt Romney ever since.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on a second.
What should the Satanists cook for everybody? Oh, I mean, hot dogs. Honestly, Satanists...
We're not cooking. We're going to make...
It'll be like a cocktail or something. Yeah.
My main positive note about Mormonism is thank you for inspiring the incredible web series Mormon Girls. Thank you for that work that you brought.
We would not have that if it wasn't for that. I tried to watch Big Love several times and I just never could do it.
Watch Mormon Girls. I hate that sentence.
Even though it's like three words long. You said you love watching children.
Yeah, but I like atheist children. And that's what we do here at Side Stories.
Yeah, I wish we could get the terms boys and girls out of pornography in general. Well, it's with a Z.
So that's how you know it's street smart. Oh, okay.
So you see, it's cool that way. They're hip.
They're like taggers and skateboards. And then there's the bop house.
You guys should look into the bop house. No, don't.
No, let's not. It's very scary because it's like a porn show, but it's for teenagers.
Like, four teenagers to watch. It's so weird.
We don't want to go down this route. It is dark.
Oh, God. No, let's not.
People normalize it. Yeah.
No, let's not. I hate it.
I hate this. I don't like this.
They just collabed with a 17-year-old child. And these are Mormons?

No, no.

Sam just brought up a horrible thing.

She just brought up a...

To be honest, the capitalist part of me says,

good for you girls.

The other half of me is like,

get the boys out of there.

You ever see the porn version of Boys in the Hood?

It's actually a bunch of Klan members.

You know, because they're in hoods. How is that a porn? Oh, I mean, well.
Gay pornography. Yeah, gay pornography.
It's Boys Inside of the Hood is what he's saying. He's talking about a gay pornography film featuring the KKK.
But, oh, that's actually pretty funny. Do you know when I went to Dachau? Thank you.
It's funny when you've got a really good brain. Amber's segwaying to Dachau.
Please, Eddie. Please, Eddie.
Yes, Amber, please. I can't wait.
Thank you. What happened at Dachau that boys of the hood, the gay pornography made me think of? Well, all the guards would rape each other.
Oh. So you would have like the...
Horrible guards. Horrible guards.
The Jewish people... You can't even watch yourselves.
No, no, no. The Jewish people were like horrible, treated badly.
And then you even get to the guards and even them, there was a hierarchy structure and there's one guy raping all of them. Really? Yeah.
And that's why you listen to our show. Yeah.
To learn all new stuff. That's why you gotta go listen to someplace underneath.
I love that you can get this out on this show and then we don't say it on Spotify. That's the goal here.
For some reason, they get mad when ladies say things. Yeah, you guys definitely get an extra amount of flavor sent your way.
But also, if you weren't, then you wouldn't be saying anything important. That's the thing.
And I will say to all of, and I will defend my beautiful wife, because I've seen the people put all of your, like, you said a lot of stuff about Elon Musk. And all of the boys got so angry.
He got very mad. And I just want you to know that if you are upset about anybody criticizing Elon Musk, you're such a worthless little bitch, then you should probably go fuck off.
I've been canceling any of my lifts that are Tesla's.

And we'll be petty.

We're going to continue to be petty.

And just you are going to have to suck it up, buttercup.

Yeah, Cena has a Tesla.

I won't get in it.

No, no.

Cena's looking to sell it.

Nice.

Because we all hate it.

And again, I'm not really into the black cube on Instagram,

social media.

What's a black cube? But you know what I mean? I'm not into the stupid social media protests. Ice Cube is his name.
Yes, thank you. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, everyone. Didn't the monkeys with Neuralink kill themselves? I have no idea.
I think they like slammed their head against the wall. No one, don't use it yet.
It's the LDS church wanting to put chips into your brain. Also, we also haven't really talked about what I'm going to talk about on side stories about the Scientology rise in the government as well, which is actually in the middle of right now.
There's a whole Scientology revolution happening. They're all getting in there.
They're really figuring it out. It's the time for them, for sure.
They are loving it right now. Also, that guard at Dachau that was raping all the other guards, I heard the reason he was doing it is because he wanted to change the name of Doc O to Cock O.

Yes.

He's been thinking about that

ever since you said it.

Yeah.

Was it like work makes the day better?

What was it on the gate?

Work will set you free.

Work will set you free.

You know what?

We'll take that out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's fine.

Just take that out.

We'll just take that out.

We have to end.

Now we have to end.

We're going to end this episode.

Just bleep it. Keep it in with bleep it.
Let the people imagine what Amber says. Yeah, let them know.
Okay? Women are allowed to be. We need more inappropriate women because guess what? We have what they say in a mug.
Well-behaved women rarely make history. Yes.
Bitch, please. Yes.
Listen to Some Place Underneath. Their series on the LDS Church is amazing.
How long is it going to go? We have 18 episodes completed, but it's not even close to them. We're just getting onto the abuse.
The LDS Church is insane. I'm sorry, but it's wild.
Are you going to do the Catholics next? I don't know if we have the money in the legal budget. We will figure it out.
We will go to, because after Scientology, you know, because Scientology is pretty litigious. I've never been sued by the Catholics for anything.
LDS has only got 200 years under its belt, so it's a lot easier to cover everything that's happened so far. Yeah, but like church's legacy.
It's the Nepo babies of religion. And just like the Nepo babies, they don't cut the mustard, do they? When you go to patreon.com slash lastpodcastonleft, give us money.
Go to our TikTok. Go to TikTok on that thing.
It's at LP on the left. It's not going away.
It, it's here. It's where all of our horseshits is.

Not all of it.

Some of the horseshits there.

It's the other horseshits on twitch.tv slash LPN TV where we are live every week.

Every other Monday, you can watch Amber and Natalie do Spawn.

Yes.

It's like 5 p.m. Pacific, 8 p.m.
Eastern.

And then when they are done, they go onto our YouTube channel.

Go and check it out.

And go to lastpodguestontheleft.com to buy all of our live show tickets. We're better than we've been before.
Yeah, right now. You guys are crushing it.
I'm in Florida. This whole weekend, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, I'm in Jacksonville, Panama City, where the pancakes are.
And Tallahassee, Florida. That's all it takes, Mormons.
You want to get on this good side and just bring some buckwheat to the comedy show. Yeah, so if you want to come out to any of these stand-up shows in Florida, please do.
This is Invasive Species. Ed Larson tours Florida.
Tickets are available at eddytoons.com. Also, Amber and I have a wonderful podcast that we've been doing for about 13, 14 years called The Brighter Side.
It is available on The Last Podcast Network. If you're not listening to it, you need to.
It is a cynics look at optimism and I love doing that show with you and it's so much fun. Also, we have Hoopagoo-goo, which is the HGX2, the Hoopagoo-goo game, which is every other Thursday on The Last Podcast, Twitch channel LPN TV or is it twitch.
slash LPN TV, and the replays are available on YouTube, so make sure you check those out. You better.
Crescent City. And Crescent City, that's the other show that my beautiful wife is on with my sister, Jackie Zabrowski.
Also beautiful. She's fine.
We should get Jackie here and have like a big situation. Oh, so I could be completely surrounded by the women that control my life? Yes.
I think that'd be great. Yes.
Yeah, we'll get my wife in here too. I'll let her yell at you.
Yeah, Julie. I'll just slowly fold.
It is nice to watch you fold. Yeah.
It's better than looking at your fold. Natalie.
I'm sorry, Natalie. I won't apologize to Henry.
I will apologize to you. She has to choose my fault.
The people like when I make fun of Henry. I'm aware.
I am working on it. I'm working out.
My tits just keep getting bigger. Yeah, man.
That's how it goes. I know.
Well, see you from the land of big tits. I've been Henry Zabraski.
Signing off. Hail Satan, everyone.
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