Episode 632: Psychic Bigfoot & the Star People

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So, um, I was was just parking my car and then I saw you, the Gecko, huge fan.

I'm always honored to meet fans out in the wild.

The honor's mine.

I just love being able to file a claim in under two minutes with the Geico app.

Well, the Geico app is top-notch.

I know you get asked this all the time, but could you sign it?

Sign what?

The app?

Yeah, sure.

Oh, that means so much.

Oh, it rubbed off the screen when I touched it.

Could you sign it again?

Anything to help, I suppose.

You're the best.

Get more than just savings.

Get more with Geico.

There's no place to escape to this.

This is the last time

on the left.

That's when the cannibalism started.

What was that?

Henry, I can see that you're...

Are you in a sort of meditative state at this moment?

Are you talking to someone?

Sasquatch in

Sasquatch.

That seemed like a Sasquatch out.

Henry out.

Okay.

Sasquatch in.

But you're blowing.

Henry out.

But you're breathing in when you're saying out and breathing out when you're saying.

Sasquatch in.

Henry out.

Okay, yeah, there you go.

There it is.

I would like to first thank you two ignorant city people

for joining me today on our journey.

Because I have called to the four directions and they are arriving now.

The spirits, the swamp knolls,

all the fae,

every single thing that's there, but one cannot see.

Now the four directions is north, west, east, and south?

Correct, city dweller.

What about up and down?

Depends on where you're

that's north and south.

North is up, south is down.

Yeah.

And when you say one cannot see, do you mean that we can't see one of them or one of them is blind?

We are all blind in many ways.

Welcome to the last podcast on the left.

Jesus Christ.

I'm sorry.

Galactic languages are super important.

They have to be brought in before we can even begin.

So you're cosmic language.

You're speaking too fast.

It's sounding almost exactly like the sort of tongues that I heard speaking in the Foursquare Church that I went to back in Texas as a child.

Yes, but what the Foursquare Church didn't have was a bunch of weird 65-year-old women with armpit hair and no bras.

I think it might have had that.

It did not.

Those women were covered.

My name is Marcus Parks.

There were bras of plenty at that Foursquare church.

I'm here with the, I guess, galactically fluent, Henry Sabrowski.

Oh, I am galactically loose.

What I am doing here is that is an opportunity for me to show you what interspecies communication is and how important it is to make a licky kiki with your best friend every time you get a chance to.

And I would imagine I'm also speaking with the

monolanguaged

at Larson.

Monolanguage.

Barely.

Barely monolanguaged.

Yes.

Now, before we get started today, Henry, I have to ask you, how much do you want me to ridicule you?

Like, how much do you want me to do you want me to take this seriously?

Yeah, because this is a Henry-led episode.

Yes, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

So I just want to know what

direction you have for me.

Well, do you want to see Bigfoot by not in technically not seeing Bigfoot?

No.

Well, then you might not want to listen.

But I will say, you might, it might help you, it might help you to open up to this.

Because you never know what you'll let in when you properly gape yourself to the universe.

I'll gape you, bro.

Yeah, fuck at it.

So you're saying that today we have the possibility of letting something in.

Something beautiful?

Something...

Earth-shattering.

Something dangerous?

Is it going to be dangerous?

Only dangerous to your paradigm.

Is Bigfoot a gape ape?

Yes.

Today's episode.

I used to have a t-shirt that just said Grape Ape, but I had to stop wearing it because anytime I wore a hoodie over it, I mean, you know,

the G became obscured.

We all know.

And everyone is just like, is that your nickname?

It's a lowercase R.

Yeah.

It was all capital letters, so yeah, I had to stop wearing that t-shirt.

Hey, what do you got?

Hey, just so you know, at least you gave them warning.

Did I borrow it?

It was far too small for you.

I don't know why.

A t-shirt that small was made for a man named Grape Ape.

Now it's time for me to bring everything back to normal.

Welcome to Last Podcast on the Left.

My name is Henry Zabrowski, and I've written a script that I'm going to read today.

Yes.

Yeah.

With help.

So let's go through it.

Now, today we're going to be talking about a very important topic.

A lot of people have theories about Bigfoot.

Sure.

Bigfoots.

Sasquatch.

It's the proper way to say it.

Sasquatch.

Sasquatch.

Now, people have asked us here, like, why have we done?

Wait, save it.

Save it.

So a lot of people have asked us, why haven't you done a big, giant Bigfoot series?

Largely, it's because of how elusive the subject matter is.

And a lot of people can't even decide what Bigfoot is.

And today we're taking a very specific track.

Today,

there's a lot of theories, right?

So people say it's an ape, some form of missing link.

Those of you that that are more science-based, right?

The people say, is it a pre-human?

Is it a post-human?

Is it a time traveler?

Yeah, exactly.

Is it an interdimensional being?

But does that make it all something this, or is it something that you cannot see literally, even if you wanted to?

Yes, that's what we're covering today.

How do you make a podcast blurry this way?

Normally, I do it with a little bit of

it's called bourbon.

Now, this might be a question that's answered later on, uh, but if you cannot see Bigfoot, if Bigfoot is indeed invisible, then why does he need to have, he or she need to have a Bigfoot form like the form of a large, hairy being?

If you can't see it, then how do they know what form it takes?

Because it's awesome and you're ignorant.

Yeah.

Ah.

Let's go now back to the script.

We all know about Bigfoot.

Skunk Ape.

Folk Monster, Momo, the Wood Ape, Swamp Ape, Yeti, Yowie, Suskuch.

But do you know that all these various Bigfoots are actually extraterrestrial humans known as star people?

Yes.

I do know.

Good one.

Almost all cryptozoological and most UFO adjacent sightings actually belong to the same category of phenomenon.

And they are hard to pin down.

And it's not because their lens is blurry or they haven't updated the app

or it's because it's a bear with maneuvers sick or it's like some kind of fat, hairy guy that's sick.

All right.

Or maybe it's because your estrange daughter called that morning.

It's because the star people don't reveal themselves to just anyone.

Okay.

So they're not invisible all the time.

No.

I mean, well, they are, unless you can see them.

Okay.

A person must be pure of heart, spiritually open, and have intellectual intentions not clouded by mainstream science.

I want you to remember that term.

mainstream science because that's the villain here.

I'm guessing that all of us being vaccinated precludes us from ever seeing star people.

Buddy.

Yeah.

So we're not, we're never seeing star people.

Buddy, that's the reason why I go to my vaccine shedder.

Have you been to, have you seen my guy, Greg?

I have not.

No, no, but

where does he operate out of again?

It's right under the 101.

I go in, I see him, and he says he does it all anally over Zoom.

Yeah.

He sucks it out.

Yeah.

He puts his butthole at the Zoom camera and he takes it from you.

It's actually, it's great.

It's only $500.

If you've been to school, you can't see Sasquatch.

Exactly.

Well, unless you've been to the proper school.

Oh, okay.

Then the star people.

So just so you know, if you are pure, star people and Bigfoots will appear to you.

All right, starting with telepathic messages.

Then they will appear as seemingly benign shadows in your peripheral vision.

Then eventually is a full-on encounter with UFOs, extraterrestrials, Bigfoots, and even fairies in tow.

And then eventually, therapists and social workers.

And one of, yes.

Well,

if, so I'm guessing that, you know, we know with extraterrestrial encounters, they are often extraordinarily scary to most people.

So is the psychic Bigfoot track a way to have

a positive experience with extraterrestrials?

No.

It's both, right?

Sort of.

It's neutral.

I would say it's almost entirely neutral.

Neutral, okay.

One of the leading figures studying this phenomenon.

is Jack John Kwowni lapseritis.

And he has an associate's, bachelor's, and master's degrees in holistic health, herbalism, dowsing, anthropology, psychology, conservation.

After studying at various community colleges in the Midwest, University of New Hampshire, University of Wisconsin, North Adams State, and Williams College in Massachusetts.

He even studied dowsing at the Wisconsin Society for Psychic Research in Milwaukee.

And would you believe that he got none of that debt refunded?

Oh, no.

He's like $150 in the hole.

Oh, no.

Yes.

How will he ever recover?

Honestly, looking at his current lifestyle, I don't know.

Yeah, I was going to ask, so it is not, he did not study dowsing at the University of Wisconsin.

Oh, yeah, sure.

It was just on the grounds.

Yeah.

What is dowsing?

Dowsing is when you look for water with pieces of wood.

It's looking for the wet spot.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Oh, college is great for that.

It is.

Jack was raised in the 1950s.

I learned how to tell Latin here in the old-fashioned dick old radar.

Jack was raised in the 50s, accustomed to hunting, fishing, and trapping, when America was great, meaning there was no public utilities or things to do.

By the time he was 25 years old, he had backpacked around the world to 40 countries.

And do you have any idea how hard it is to fit a 20-year-old in a backpack?

Thank you.

Jack Kowowne is an expert in the field of Bigfoots or foots.

He likes to call them foots.

Foots.

Because you can't be saying Bigfoots all day.

Ain't got all day.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

BFs.

Well, again, if they're Bigfoot, sometimes they are just foots.

I got a question about this, by the way.

Bigfoots, they're huge, right?

Yeah, massive.

Seven, eight feet tall.

Why not call them big hands?

Big heads.

Because that's not what you see.

You see the big foot.

Honestly, it's true.

It's because you see the big foot.

Oh, it's from the markers.

From the tracks.

Yes.

Yeah, because it all comes from the tracks.

Everything about, my guy, with big foots, like when you talk to these people, if you want to have conversations about dermal ridges,

hours on end,

you can talk to a Bigfoot hunter.

All right.

Now, Jack Kowowne.

And by the way, would you say that these people are, because, you know, Bigfoot hunters, we've talked about them a lot in the past.

This is very different than Bigfoot.

These guys are distinctly anti-Bigfoot hunters.

Okay, so they're more Bigfoot enthusiasts.

They're Bigfoot gatekeepers.

Yeah.

Because they don't want people to just find Bigfoot because they believe people do harm to Bigfoot.

They believe they need to be the middleman.

Specifically, Kawani Lapsaritis specifically says he's a middleman between society and the Bigfoots.

So if they are so protective of the Bigfoot, why are there so many YouTube videos talking about it?

Because they're the only ones who can see the Bigfoots.

So they're trying to bring the message of the Bigfoots to all of us.

And so that's because they're pure enough.

Jack Lapsaritis with his very long January 6th ponytail and his Benjamin Franklin glasses is legitimately the most pure man you've ever met because he's allergic to money.

I understand.

I was reading the YouTube comments on the video you sent me and there was one guy who really cracked me up.

He's like, I've seen Bigfoot.

This guy's full of shit.

Yeah, it's my favorite.

It's my favorite.

I love the fighting here.

The fighting here is, we're not there yet.

Today's peaceful.

There's no interwars today.

As a matter of fact, one of the big reveals today is that they're all a lot more close than I thought they were.

Now, Jack Howowne is an expert in the field of Bigfoots.

He's devoted his life to documenting Bigfoots' encounters in which the experiencer received telepathic and psychic messages from Bigfoots and aliens.

Sure.

Jack Kowowne has documented well over 200 of these encounters from a wide variety of reputable people.

This, of course, according to Jack Kowowne.

He also has personally had 75 Bigfoot and alien encounters continuously since 1979.

Wow.

Ted Maury gets the next five for free.

Oh, I like sandwiches.

Yep.

And they do, but a lot of times you leave hungry.

Continually since 1979.

So that means every year there's been at least one.

Dude's seen an alien right now in that YouTube video.

Yeah.

He's literally seeing one right now.

He sees them everywhere.

That's the key, too, is that when you live with Bigfoot psychically, you don't get any room from Bigfoot.

So that means that Bigfoots are around us at all times.

Here's one right here.

Wow.

Could be.

Wow.

Sitting on that air purifier.

So Bigfoot watches me jerk off?

Yeah, like Santa Claus.

That's great.

Now, Jack Kowowne has documented many of his Bigfoot and alien encounters from himself and others in his two books, The Psychic Sasquatch and Their UFO Connection and The Sasquatch People and Their Interdimensional Connection.

Jack channeled his works from the Grand Elder Sasquatch, who chose to trust him.

I'm just glad he didn't get in contact with the Grand Wizard Elder Sasquatch because that guy's an asshole.

Oh, yeah.

Did you know that there were Jewish Bigfoots and it's a problem?

Hey, come on.

Hey, leave us alone.

Bigfoot Squitz.

Now, in Jack Kowowne's second book, there are four distinct types of Sasquatch.

The Sasquatch people who look ape-like with conical heads and brimming with psychic and spiritual power.

Are Mary and the Hendersons?

Yes.

The ancient ones or star people who look like Sasquatch but with a human face.

Like our Ed Larson.

Like a laboo boo.

Gotcha.

The dog baboon-faced faced forest giants, they're hard to see.

So they're dog and baboon faced.

Sometimes.

It's both.

Can be one is more baboon-esque and one is more dog-like.

But they're both forest giants.

Forest giants, but oftentimes they stoop to hide their real height.

But they're invisible, so why are they stooping?

Because the people that can see them don't want to be frightened by them.

Ah.

Yes.

So they hide from the few people that can see them, but even though they're invisible.

Yes.

And even though they've they've chosen these people to see them, but they still...

They don't want to overwhelm them.

Look at lapsaritis.

Lapsaritis is one bad IRS report away from killing everyone.

However, and then the original orangutan-faced skunk ape, but that's in Florida.

We're not getting there.

Okay.

However, for most of this episode, you just need to know the classic Sisquatch and the human-faced ancient ones, aka the Star People.

And I believe that the Wookiee from Endor might have been involved, but I do have the stuff saying the W-word, word, but that's just because I was talking about that.

I was talking to that grand wizard, Bigfoot, far too long.

Yeah, well, the Wookiees are from Kashyyyk, by the way.

Whoa, really?

Yeah.

Is that the actual planet?

Yeah.

Yeah, Kashyyyk.

Really?

Yeah.

Well, good.

There is a Wookiee planet, of course.

I'm pretty certain that they would hang out with that.

They blew it up in the fan fiction.

But I also feel like, where is my Wookiee movie?

We've talked about this.

Where is my entirely Wookiee movie entirely not in Wookiee language and no English?

Actually, they did do that.

In the Christmas special.

Yeah, the Star Wars holiday special is actually entirely in the Wookiee language.

Needs a redo.

Very,

well, the first part is it's tedious.

It takes a long time.

I don't know.

I was really high when I watched it, so it felt like it lasted an hour and a half.

And the clanker slur actually came from that as well, which I do not know.

Also, so if you're incorrect about that, is this going to be full of lies?

Well, these lies, Eddie, came straight from books.

So they were written down.

Now, one may ask, what is the difference between Bigfoot and a star person?

First, check their IMDb Pro.

In reality, there is.

Thank you, Eddie.

Are you still sitting somewhere around the 1200s?

Yeah, still under deeply below Adolf Hitler.

In reality, there isn't a difference.

They are just different versions of the same extraterrestrial human race known as the ancient ones.

A Bigfoot is hairy all over, has a beast-like face, and is between 6 and 12 feet tall.

A star person is hairy all over, has a human-like face, and is anywhere between three and twenty-two feet tall.

That's a big gap, huge gap.

But almost the same.

A star person can also be hairless with an otherworldly face between three and six feet tall.

These are more commonly known as the grays.

Write this down.

You wrote it down.

I have it in front of me.

Exactly.

I'll email it to you.

You did.

Side stories L-POTLAGMAS.com.

I'm telling the audience.

So when they say star people, star people include a variety of

different things.

I agree.

I believe I view the star people as Bigfoots managers.

Oh, they're the bosses of the Bigfoots.

They are the ones that the Bigfoots directly report to.

Tall Whites, Pleiadians.

Star People.

Star People.

They can all be under that, which I think is almost a Bigfoot racist term for other ETs.

But that's a deeper conversation.

We are not ready for it.

The Star People, they're always waiting in the sky and they like to come.

Come and meet us, but they're afraid they'll blow our minds.

Yeah.

It's actually, Kevin Bowie was

See, all ancient ones have psychic abilities and can telepathically communicate with any living being.

There are clues within all ancient Earth people's mythologies that the ancient ones have always been on earth and have always interacted with those who are spiritually able, have a warm heart, and lack fear.

Additionally, their blood should also reach a certain threshold of mountain dew content.

To attract a Bigfoot or a star person, you must not.

Now this is key.

Okay.

You must not be actively searching for an encounter with a Bigfoot.

All right.

It's like the ghosts from Mario Brothers.

Don't look at it.

Don't look at it.

It'll look at you, though.

Okay.

And then you're in danger.

They are so psychically strong that they can sense anyone who means them harm and anyone who has less than noble intentions, such as to make money.

Yes.

The psychic Bigfoots and star people can also sense if you are a hateful person who doesn't have a relationship with God.

You know, and honestly, in the end, Jack Lapsaritis does seem to be writing about one specific guy.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

It's like that one guy, Jerry from the South, Denton Jiffy Lube.

He's not seeing Bigfoot.

He doesn't have a relationship with God.

Yeah, he doesn't.

No, he can't be there.

He's not pure enough.

Christian God is like, which God are we talking about here?

It's real loose on that.

But let me just say I'm not seeing a heck of a lot of Jewish interaction with the Star People.

I'm guessing it's Gaia.

Gaia is the, I want to say, is the fake Native American version of God.

That's God, if you met God at a trinket store in Milwaukee Mall.

Okay.

Yeah.

And that's also where these people work.

That's where they work.

That's good.

Because again,

they can't go to see Bigfoot for money except they do now.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

It's whatever, let's take a consensus in Sedona, Arizona, and whatever those people think is God collectively, that's who they're talking about right now.

Exactly.

And I'm pretty certain.

I want to say it's Dr.

Phil.

Bigfoots and the Star People have been on Earth for millions of years and know its true history.

They know that humans are causing great harm to the planet.

Their mission is to activate every special individual to spread the good word of the star people in hopes of changing hearts and minds to save the planet Earth.

Special people like Tila Tequila and Azalea Banks.

Oh, yes.

Truly, truly special.

The one positive thing you can say about all of these grifters is that they genuinely love the planet Earth and do want to help.

And they want to do anything to help, but anything that helps.

Yes.

They got good ideas.

A lot of people do.

Good intentions.

Everybody does.

Yeah, good intentions, but they spend all that time on psychic pigflits.

Yes.

Instead of helping their children with their homework.

Or like recycling things or like doing stuff you could do for the environment.

That's fine.

It's fine.

Stuff like that.

It's fine.

Sometimes, according to an ancient one named Holoti that Jack met in Hawaii, star people, sisquatches, and humans have been known to interbreed.

Fuck yeah.

Because they are all genetically basically the same.

Oh, yeah, like Hagrid.

Yep.

Oh, yeah, he loved to fuck those kids.

No, I know.

Hagrid was the son of a half-giant.

Oh, I thought.

Hagrid was the son of a giant lady and a regular man.

Because I just assumed that Hagrid had gations at Hogwarts, which is why he lived outside the school.

Absolutely.

This is too big to be inside.

Oh, that's why.

Yeah.

And also, he got that little girl killed.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

That's the worst thing that was.

Spoiler.

But it wasn't his fault, really.

Let's not talk about it.

Hackward's got nothing to do with this story.

That's fiction.

Jack repeatedly references the differences between Sasquatch and humans to be the same as the difference between types of Asians.

Oh, my God.

We all know what he's talking about.

You got your electric Asians, you got your jumping Asians, you got your subterranean Asians, tree-dwelling Asians, all types of Asians, all different and special.

Only the most non-racist and most racist can tell the difference.

So we're fucked.

Yes.

Jack officially includes the description of fellow Bigfoot Star People influencer Sunbo Truebrother, who transcribed a trilogy of books entitled Sisquatch's Message to Humanity.

Spoiler alert.

A lot of the messages are, me hungry, can me get a Popeye's chicken sandwich.

These books were telepathically sent to Sunbo by Camu, a grand shaman elder Sasquatch, who also wrote, Hell is Other Bigfoot.

Starting on September 28th, 2015, Sunbo True Brother began receiving telepathic messages from Camus, the great shaman elder Sasquatch, who had a desperate plea that needs to be shared with all of humanity in hopes that his knowledge will allow humankind to evolve past our current destructive mode of existence.

Camus, the Grand Elder Sasquatch, was nominated by the Council of Grand Shaman Elder Sasquatches to reach out to a human who would hear the message and work hard to, quote, raise humanity's vibrations to higher levels of consciousness.

I mean, but my problem, I mean, it's the same problem as always with all of these stories is that these aliens or big feet,

big foots,

they all tend to reach out.

It's like they all tend to reach out to the person that is least likely to be listened to.

The person with the most amount of time to talk.

And no one ever reaches out to Bernie Sanders.

No, Bernie's busy.

Bernie is busy.

But we didn't even listen to him, and he was staying real shit.

Exactly.

Exactly.

I think people are more ready for this message.

Humans and Bigfoots used to live in harmony and were actually bioengineered by the star elders to work together as a balanced twin life force that would thrive on Earth.

Okay.

Of course.

There were many attempts to create this powerful twin life force that died off.

The Bigfoots carry ancient star elder souls, which help them foster soul growth on Earth, which will allow Earth to eventually become an intergalactic hub of spiritual consciousness that would be home to countless species of aliens, like Raleigh-Durham International.

Yes.

engineered to have superior strength and resistance to various climates.

Their thick fur protects from the cold and from insect bites.

Their long arms and legs allow them to run, jump, and climb much better than humans.

They can see in the dark and they can hold their breath for a very long time.

And according to Sunbo True Brother, they sound like this.

So it can almost sound like an owl?

Somewhat.

Okay.

No, I'm not doing that.

So your unaware camper could think, wow, that's a deep voice for an owl.

Yeah.

Okay.

Thank you.

Yeah, yeah.

So yeah, he really doesn't sell that hard.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Wow.

Sunbo True Brother

does

the Bigfoot influencing in such a spectacularly lazy way

that I love him.

Yeah.

And he's talking to a woman named Regina Meredith that would go to drop the fucking bomb on him that her Sasquatch mentor actually.

He predicted Hurricane Katrina, but he didn't want to tell the news because it's so hard for them to pick up the phone.

Yeah, he hates chazz.

You need a booker.

So he predicted Hurricane Katrina along with the National Weather Service who knew that that storm was coming for like five days

before it actually hit.

And you know, there was like way a lot of warning that like

get out, get out, it's coming, it's coming.

Turns out it was the only Bigfoot with that app.

Yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know, the news.

You know, because they just talked about it for like days before it actually hit landfall.

The one thing I will say about these interviews is the lighting was surprisingly great.

Regina Meredith has a far better production quality than she has any

right to.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was real well done.

I could hear them properly.

But I will say, at the end, when they're like, well, we have to wrap this up, I'm like, no, you don't.

Sunboat.

Yeah, definitely.

Sunboat True Brothers got a hard out at one.

Sunboat True Brother, he looks like Jiminy Cricket from Always Sunny.

He is Jiminy Cricket from Always Sonny.

This man is a

white guy dreads.

Yes.

Oh, this is...

Ha ha.

He's not white.

He's Sasquatch People.

And he's pretty white.

And he's Park Cree as well.

Well, they say that.

Does Sasquatch people also have like the meth picking scabs that he has all over?

Very much so.

He's busy.

He needs the energy.

I'm just going to put this out there, guys.

I went looking for Sunbo True Brothers.

actual real information and it has been fucking deeply scrubbed.

I went looking for his real name.

I couldn't find it.

He says his real name doesn't matter since all the things that he's seen has changed him too much for his old name to matter.

But the only record of him I could find was weird, hastily made videos of the rainbow gathering from 2012 where he was 20 years older than everybody else there.

So it was one of those where I just think he's one of those fun, weird 35-year-old men that sort of just show up at a place where there's a bunch of teenagers.

Oh, look at him.

He looks exactly as Jimmy Cricket.

Like Rickety Cricket.

He looks exactly like him.

He really does.

Holy shit.

And I don't mean to talk mess because this is Rob's favorite guy.

All right, back to Sisko.

Live from North Way.

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Back to the truth.

Sisquatch are the most developed entities in the universe in regards to psychic powers.

Telepathy, mind reading, remote viewing, hypnosis, astral projection, dematerialization, teleportation, shapeshifting, mind control, and the ability to impregnate beings with a soul.

Sisquatch is a true interdimensional being and can utilize all of their powers at all levels of existence.

Because the ability to impregnate beings with a soul, so they couldn't impregnate like a rat.

Does a rat have a soul?

They could give it one.

Oh, see, I was...

See, I was thinking.

I think it's what happened to Ratatouille.

Impregnate them with an actual being, but just...

They're not physical.

Yeah, they're not physical.

Yeah, yeah.

So

they can only put a soul into somebody, not actual.

Oh, okay.

the ability to put a soul within a being not the ability to impregnate beings only exclusively beings with souls like they could sickfoots are only physical like five percent of the time.

Okay, so you're saying that they can put a soul in a spider Yeah, yeah, okay, I'm the one with the outline

See now.

This is the reason why someone you will never it's by the way.

It's fine to say I don't know.

Oh, no, I can't.

I have the outline.

This is why someone, I want you to understand, you will never find physical evidence of the Sisquatch.

Siscat, fur, and their corpses.

Sisquatch and the star people can live for thousands of years.

And when they do eventually pass through the veil, their bodies become completely immaterial.

Oh, that's why we never found their bones or anything.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Sisquatch.

What about their scat, though?

And thank you for saying scat.

It's going to happen.

Thank you for being very.

what happens to their scat

it feeds the plants.

This is why you never find it.

I need that.

Honestly, I need that bumper sticker.

The key, though, honestly, one of the worst things about this, and then we're obviously the most guilty of this, is Sisquatch is susceptible to psychic damage and can be seriously harmed by insults and ridicule.

Oh, they are kept.

Yo, yeah.

Thank you, Eddie.

They are kept alive through the brave humans who know the truth, who hold enough space in their hearts for the Squatch to thrive.

If there were ever to be a coordinated effort to physically capture Bigfoot, the psychic damage would be so powerful it would quickly lead to complete Sisquatch genocide.

Right.

The famed film footage of Bigfoot, captured by Roger Patterson and Robert Gimlin, is a double-edged sword as it allowed more humans with the capability to help Bigfoot to discover their true purpose, but it also could have started a wave of hunters out to destroy Bigfoots everywhere.

And think about the people who activated that into purpose and how that helped them and how that Bigfoot changed their, that Bigfoot footage changed them into Bigfoot people and how much damage that is.

Yeah.

It's like after Jaws came out, everyone killed all the sharks.

Absolutely.

But this is all from Sumbo True Brother.

Gotcha.

We're not going to go and get all into his, all of his experiences because

they're even more vague than anything else that we've talked about before.

What would happen if you shot Bigfoot in the head?

Just disappear.

Crazy.

Yep.

That's right.

Right?

Just fucking

shoot him again.

His soul's still dancing.

So now let's dive back into the world of Jack Kowowne lapsaritis and his encounters with Bigfoots and Star People.

Currently, actually, I'm on the second cycle of my meds for my current bout with chronic lapsaritis.

Wish me good luck.

As of 2017, Jack Kowowne had been researching Bigfoots for his entire life.

65 years, with over 300 documented encounters.

Jack Kowowne has visited over 40 countries, including England, East Africa, Japan.

East Africa.

Did you just forget which country you went to?

It was in the East section.

He said by the coast.

Australia, Colombia, Brazil, Russia, and India.

Most of these adventures involve collecting information about the region's Bigfoot.

Jack also lived with many indigenous tribes across the globe.

He did a lot of sit-ins.

He audited a lot of tribes.

I got it.

Yeah.

That almost makes you Native American.

Do we believe that he traveled?

Yeah, I believe he got on planes.

Jack Kowowne's first psychic experience with the Sisquatch was in 1979.

And the experience triggered a psychic and spiritual transformation in Jack, which caused him to leave his job as a hypnotherapist to devote his life to understanding Bigfoots and aliens.

We think he was practicing in a mirror.

Jack Kowowne would go on to speak about Bigfoots and star people on over 420 radio shows.

He would write two books and be featured in 23 others, as well as contribute to dozens of magazines.

He will never stop collecting and discussing Bigfoot encounters.

Everyone has tried.

Now, before you race to find Jack Kowowne's contact information, which is readily available, remember that mainstream science will not back up your data.

Sure.

As they are always working to silence truth seekers who have experienced things beyond the typical scope of knowledge.

Mainstream science.

And I appreciate how you capitalized mainstream science.

That's how you do it.

The only way to do it.

That's how I know how to say it.

Mainstream science.

Where do you find his information if you go out to talk to him?

Got it.

You just knock on the door to his house.

He doesn't have a phone.

See, they would say mainstream fucking science refuses to accept the existence of Bigfoots and star people.

And they will hire government agents to discredit you and scare you into keeping your mouth shut.

Guys from the IRS and CPS.

Yeah.

CPS does show up at a lot of Bigfoot hunters houses.

When Jack Kowowne first encountered Psychic Bigfoot in 1979, he knew that he had to dedicate himself to changing the world, despite despite knowing that mainstream science would mock him and his work.

It should be kept in mind that many mainstream sciences today were once considered fringe science.

That was openly ridiculed.

For example, in the 1700s, the French Academy of Sciences refused to believe meteorites existed because they had never seen a rock fall from the sky.

You can justify anything with this.

Okay, cool.

It's just the hill I die on.

Yes.

Because back then they knew everything.

Everything.

Everything.

Everything.

And it's so strange that we're now trusting them saying,

we're trusting their view of science back then, but we're not trusting the view of science now.

Just because it's mainstream doesn't mean it's cool.

Got it.

All right.

It's like Dane Cook of biology is the Dane Cook of sciences.

Mike drop.

Thank you.

Now it's a race against time.

Jack Kowowne and his peers have been doing the hard work of collecting data from all sources and combining mathematics, adult contemporary science, spirituality, and religion into a unified theory of the universe.

Adult contemporary sciences.

That, of course, is the main export of Sedona, Arizona.

Dr.

Barry Manilow actually taught me a lot about navigating in the ocean.

I like young adult science.

Some people really do.

They really do.

I like free science.

You know, like

Bebop, yeah.

It's about the vaccines you don't take.

It is a race against time, though, because of man's folly.

The earth is suffering from lethal weather patterns, ozone depletion, geological upheaval, unending pollution, deadly untreatable disease, and political violence.

And they're not wrong.

That's all true.

That's all very true.

These changes are a part of the great purification, which will lead to biblical revelations, of course.

Okay, so it is Christian God.

Obviously.

Very obviously.

Yeah, and it's nothing about it.

I've even heard Allah once in this.

The Star People are true and Bigfoots, they're the true Christians.

And they know that the end times are real and imminent, and they are working hard to help spiritually develop enough humans so that we won't go extinct.

And if they really wanted to help, honestly, they would lower the bar of only who Jack likes.

Yeah, you know, because it's only four people Jack personally knows that he enjoys and I think are pure enough to see a Bigfoot.

And so those are, so at the end of the world, once, you know, the end times come, the

Simon Sue, Mary, Susanna, Haloti, you know, Sunbow.

Yes.

Does Jack know Sunbow?

We'll get to that.

Okay.

Of the 500 Bigfoot and UFO encounters Jack Kowowne has documented, including hundreds of personal encounters, he has come to the conclusion that they are only trying to help.

And the more people who are open to listen, the better chances we all have of surviving the impending apocalypse.

The number of encounters keep going up.

So during the course of the episode,

please stay so.

Just know that during the course of this current last chunk of this episode, he's already had 320 additional sightings.

Oh, okay, good.

As mentioned earlier, Bigfoots are actually humans of extraterrestrial origins.

They represent a pure form of life that embraces the spiritual and the scientific.

Bigfoots and star people have examined mainstream science and find it lacking.

It attempts to force many things into one box, or as Jack Kowowne puts it, mainstream science is a cobbler mutilating a foot just to make a shoe fit.

The last time he had to put a bunch of things in a box is when he was fired from his job.

No, I quit being a hypnotherapist.

Fired from his job, evicted from his apartment, divorced from his wife.

Can't go to super cuts anymore.

The alleged objectivity of mainstream science is actually a disinformation psyop.

Okay.

Right?

They are actually incredibly subjective.

Mainstream scientists are afraid of the true nature of the universe, and that has clouded entire fields of study, you fucking rubes.

Plus,

who's running the psyop?

I think, honestly, it might be IRS.

And the IRS and CPS, they are the most dangerous organizations inside the U.S.

government.

Yeah, no, by you know, the many videos that I've seen on YouTube, or excuse me, not on YouTube, on Instagram, many of these men who believe in these things do have a lot of problems with CPS.

And they are definitely all trying to get their kids back while wearing funny hats.

You know what it is?

It's because their wives

don't understand.

They're mainstream wives.

So Kiwani, he's American.

Pronounce it correctly.

Kowowne.

Kiwani.

Kawowne, he's American.

Oh, yeah.

And Sunbows, he's Canadian.

He's Canadian.

Okay, good.

I just want to make sure I know.

Neither one of them are indigenous people.

No.

But they sure like to sound like it.

Plus, the court world order and governments, they have too much invested in quote-unquote mainstream science.

So they are constantly working to, quote, not upset the political and financial apple cart.

Right.

Leave the apple carts alone.

So the mainstream science.

So if we were to let Bigfoot into our hearts, then Bigfoot could cure our high blood pressure.

And mumps.

And mumps.

Yes.

Oh, definitely.

Mumps.

Done.

Rear view mirror.

Jack Kowowne's 650-plus telepathic encounters have happened because he is open-hearted and open-minded.

Those who want to hunt, kill, and dissect Bigfoots for science will never be able to catch or even see Bigfoot because Bigfoots are so psychically powerful.

They can tell what a person holds in their hearts and minds.

The Bigfoots might allow you a glimpse, but you will never understand their true nature.

But if you want to go around the world, it's 20 bucks.

I was wondering, sexually, the Bigfoot, is the Bigfoot threatened by human sexuality?

No, they're intrigued by it, and they love our women, and they have integrated with our women when they are physical the 5% of the time.

But what about female Bigfoots?

Are they intrigued by males?

Oh, you might hear a little bit about that coming up soon.

Sunbow, I'd imagine.

Oh, no.

Ye old Jack.

Oh, he likes to fuck.

If you're searching for physical proof of Sisquatch, you are starting in the wrong place.

Okay.

Psychic Bigfoots exist as a part of a holistic ecosystem, just as plants, insects, birds, and animals interact together.

All life works together on a physical, psychic, and spiritual level.

And once you understand the spiritual, psychic language, you will be able to speak to Sisquatch.

But first, they must contact you.

And to hear the messages you must understand yourself and to be at one with nature it's it's like uh it's like hinge in a way because you guys like foots don't even they they don't even try their opening messages are just like hey hey yeah what are you doing

i think it sounds like that more can you actually do it more correct though

thank you

In 1979, when Jack Kowowne had his first of nearly 800 encounters, he had contacted four different psychics, and each one he had used a pendulum on a map to define the location of Bigfoot.

All of the pendulums landed in the Pacific Northwest around Mount Hood,

70 miles east of Portland, Oregon.

So Kowowne traveled to Mount Hood, found Bigfoot footprints, 12 inches long, six inches wide, five toes, no claw marks, so it definitely was not a bear.

That's he part of the clan?

No!

There's no clans in this Bigfoot.

That's why the hood is shaped like that for the clans.

They're all codified.

Yeah, honestly, this is a...

longer experience.

I did not know there'd be self-hating sisquatches.

Now, Jack Kowowne continued scouring scouring the area of the forest without fear.

One night in his tent, he heard a large bipedal creature walking around.

Jack Cowowne stuck out of his tent to try to take a photo, but the creature disappeared instantly.

Bye-bye.

This was the first of many encounters that showcased Bigfoot's ability to dematerialize.

Over several days, the same thing happened.

Sounds of footsteps, growling sounds, and nothing there when Jack tried to photograph it.

Jack Kowowne consulted his psychics once more, and all of them warned Jack to steer clear of a cave nearby.

He knew that they were pointing out the lair of Bigfoot.

And he mentally prepared himself to enter the cave anyways.

I'm coming in.

I'm going to do it.

But then he remembered that months earlier, a psychic told him that he would find Bigfoot's cave and that Bigfoot was an extraterrestrial who's on a scouting mission for more advanced aliens.

The psychic warned Jack that if he interfered with the aliens' work, there would be dire consequences.

Better not go in there.

Yeah, because stuff, consequences, like he might need to get a job.

Jack Kowowne decided he would not enter the cave after all.

Then he felt a lightness and relaxation.

A genuine feeling of relief coming from the beast that had been sneaking around his campsite.

This is how I always feel when I don't enter a cave.

Crack open a nice cold open can, not going inside of a cave.

This guy loves when he doesn't have to do something.

It's the option to back out.

So the Bigfoot was coming to his campsite from the cave every night.

Every night.

He's trying to see what kind of guy jack is will jack want to just is that all he wants is a picture am i just justin bieber to this guy or does he actually want to know the secrets of the universe okay so the test is if jack just sits there while the bigfoot wanders around

and growls yeah

if he just sat there quiet as a clam

He'd be right.

You'd already be in the cave hanging out with him.

Oh, okay.

So you can't want to.

Again, yes, you can't.

You can't want it.

You can't want it.

Yeah.

But that's the thing.

He did want it.

He did want it.

Let's just just say maybe his story doesn't line up a lot.

Yeah.

This would explain why you've never seen aliens or ghosts.

I mean, to be honest,

I'm also genuinely frightened.

Oh, really?

I am genuinely frightened.

Bigfoot, psychically heard, knew Jack's decision to not interfere in the Star People's important work.

Bigfoot knew Jack was no longer a threat.

From this point on, Kowowne and Bigfoot did not fear one another.

After this event, Jack Kowowne would see Bigfoot and the Star People a thousand times over many decades.

I thought it was 700.

It's getting bigger and bigger.

Sometimes Jack leaves out an opened jar of peanut butter, dried fish, or salt licks for Sasquatch.

Salt licks?

Salt licks.

That's so, that's so, that's disrespectful, leaving a salt lick out.

And when he first did that, he selfishly hoped to get Sasquatch's fingerprints to have them analyzed by scientists, which meant Sasquatch never touched it.

Oh, so that means the Sasquatch just leaned over the salt liquid and just went,

Yep, well, you know how easy it is to get fingerprints off of salt.

Yeah, so easy.

And honestly, not mention the huge factoid here, which you learned.

Sasquatch is keto.

Yeah.

As soon as Jack gave up on the hopes of proving Sasquatch was physically real, Sasquatch started eating the peanut butter and leaving bouquets of flowers as a thank you.

Sasquatches sometimes play music by banging large sticks against hollow trees.

Crownie will join in by playing harmonica.

I guess it's more blood on the tracks versus Highway 61.

Okay.

I want this weed he's on.

Bigfoots have had many psychic powers, including extraordinary healing abilities, which includes physical, mental, and spiritual healing and sexual.

In 1987, Jack had a severely herniated disc in his spine.

From fucking...

Yeah, dude.

I actually probably think it was from not fucking.

And mainstream medicine, doctors, they were astounded how bad it was.

And they were absolutely dumbfounded as how to fix it.

They all said, I've never seen a back before.

Like, this man has been hunching behind bushes watching bears attack trees for a long time.

Doctor, this man is a loser.

After months of agony, Kowowne reached out telepathically

to Bigfoot and asked for help.

Jack lived around the North Umco River in Riggan.

And sure enough, three star people, hairy talls with human faces, arrived and they put him under anesthesia and healed his spine.

How proud is that Jewish Bigfoot mother of her soon-to-be Bigfoot anesthesiologist?

Have you met my Jonah?

Now, here's Jack's description of these events:

When I had a ruptured disc and was unable to walk, I was in a wheelchair in horrendous pain.

Told if I didn't have surgery, I'd never walk again.

And the ETs came and took me two nights in a row, and I was walking normal again without any pain whatsoever.

which the doctors were shocked.

They had no idea what was going on.

Of course, I wouldn't tell them.

So I developed developed a relationship with the Sasquatch people, and I've written two books.

That's it.

Yeah, yeah, boom, done.

He wasn't faking it.

No.

No.

And you know what's also, I will say.

And he definitely is not walking around with a crippling Oxy addiction.

No way.

Not with those glassy eyes.

Kowowni,

he really is.

I don't know if it's just because he's been saying the story for so long, but he's so good at just flat face.

Yeah.

If I could describe the opening ceremony of the psychic Bigfoot conferences that I saw the other day from 2022, to really describe that there's a way that non-racist sentimentality becomes the most racist thing you've ever seen in your life

so fast at a Bigfoot conference.

How so?

Because everybody goes, hello, my name's Kathy.

I've channeled the ancient spirit of Kamana Mamanalaya.

And he sounds like he has a message for you all.

And they're all like, they've just never been to Europe.

You know what I mean?

They've just never left Tennessee.

They just pass around a pencil box to put cash and coins in.

It's literally, and they're all like, Bigfoot needs all the help he can get.

Getting a guess a car loan.

Will you take turquoise?

Yes.

After this procedure, Kowowne asks what they did, and they refused to answer.

Although Kowowni suspects it has something to do with electromagnetism.

After the procedure, a lady Sasquatch with large breasts showed up to check on Jack's spine.

The anesthesiologist's mother.

Huge tits.

No ass.

At some point, Jack was living in Tucson, Arizona.

And his landlady's daughter was pregnant and sick with calampsia, which causes seizures and can result in a serious heart problem.

Jack decided to reach out telepathically to the star people and ask for healing for the landlady's daughter.

They obliged, showed up, scared the shit out of her, healed the daughter by ending her her life, and then disappeared.

In 1988, Jack and a friend were searching for Bigfoot near Roseburg, Oregon, and they didn't find anything.

However, in the summer of 1989, Jack went to the same location alone and a beautiful green-eyed ancient one presented herself and declared her intention to mate.

Jack was stunned by her perfect figure.

She was 5'9, with an hourglass figure and large, full breasts.

No mention of how much hair she was covered in.

The unnamed Bigfoot woman with a human face expressed to Jack that her parents were mad that she kept having premarital sex.

And she was so lonely and needed Jack to have sex right there.

Drack, coincidentally, had just broken off an engagement and happened to be single.

Oh, thank God.

Though he wasn't feeling particularly horny, he did agree to have sexual intercourse for scientific purposes, which is also what my wife does.

Here comes the Bunsen burner.

I imagine this is how Petty Marshall and Rob Reiner did it.

Just this idea that he, because he didn't want to.

He had to have sex with that big-titted Bigfoot.

But he implied that had he been a normal amount of horny, then you would have had no problem having sex with, but he just at that moment wasn't feeling it.

Yeah, but he still overcame it.

And that more just shows how much power Jack Kiwowney has over his fucking rock and cock.

Yeah, and he just happened to be single.

Yeah, he just happened to be single.

Yeah, yeah.

In Sedona, Arizona in 1991, Jack got liver cancer and he refused to get traditional cancer.

Of course he was Sedona.

I knew Sedona was going to come up at something.

He has to.

I think that you have to go there at this point.

He contacted the star people.

Two of them showed up at the foot of his bed one night and telepathically told him,

You have cancer and will die if you do not treat yourself soon.

But that is your choice.

You can choose to live or die.

You have the power.

Yet you are needed during this time of the great purification where turmoil and destruction will reign.

You are an herbalist herbalist and understand natural healing use the herb chaperon and you will recover quickly so you can continue to do the work of the creator all of this is your choice so we make no judgment or demands it is your life we are here to be supportive and offer guidance and knowledge it is your will to accept it or not kind of rambling star people

if I can give me encouragement or not, edit.

The Star People lectured Kowowne for an hour before they left.

Let me start then.

Kowowne made herbal blends that included chaparol, which is a shrub native to the southwest, and took the concoction three times a day for five weeks.

Kowowne also received several healing stones from Sisquatch, and at the end of five weeks, officially cancer-free.

So it's just that and healing stones, and you're good.

Boom, digging it done.

Done.

Now, somebody might ask, if Sisquatch has these these amazing healing powers, why don't they use it on everyone who is sick and in pain?

Yeah.

Yeah, it seems like they have all of the knowledge to cure everything.

It's just like right there.

It's because it would also seem like if there wasn't so much sickness in this world and that we weren't all so worried about our bodies falling apart and we weren't so, you know, of course, sad about that, you know, causes so much turmoil that maybe if they gave us the ability to heal ourselves, then the world would be the, in fact, the peaceful place that they're yearning for so much.

You'd think that would be a natural progression.

Well, those poor suckers are out of network.

All right.

Some people, so what are you?

Are you in Cobra?

No, what's that?

I'm on Sasquatch.

You know what?

If they heal everyone, that's just more people to kill them.

Ah.

Yeah, it's just more people.

Yeah.

Honestly, it doesn't really.

He just chooses randomly who he decides.

He said this in this interview that he chooses to randomly send psychic Bigfoot medical help when he remembers to.

Wow.

And that's it.

He's got to be near Jack Lapsaritis.

Well, the Sisquatch have a type of Hippocratic oath where they will only help people who believe in Sisquatch and who explicitly say it's okay for Sisquatch to heal them.

Jack Kowowne's friend's wife, who did not believe in Sisquatch, was gravely ill.

And even though Jack and his friend pleaded with Sisquatch to heal her, Sisquatch refused until she asked for help, which she did eventually.

Then she was visited by glowing orbs overnight and woke up completely healed.

So

why is Bigfoot such a bitch?

It's because there are people that are racist against Bigfoot.

Let's hit Jack, break it down.

It's about what's really out there, no matter what people look like.

In fact, I say in my book that there's racial discrimination going on with the Sasquatch people and with the Star people, the ETs, because they look different.

And everybody looks different, you know.

And here we can't even deal with racial issues in this world, which is disgusting to me.

Why we haven't outgrown that and

learned to accept.

I love mixing with all kinds of races and meeting or talking with them in the grocery store or something more than I do the regular man on the street.

Is there another interviewing happening off camera?

Yes.

Yes.

No, I don't like to speak with regular men.

I prefer to speak with others from other races.

Because they're

others.

I'm not racist at all, but not at all.

But you know how it is.

There's regular men, regular, you know, me, but we are regular men.

And then there are others.

And I prefer to mix with those others in the grocery store.

I like

advancing them and approaching them and saying, you're an other.

May I speak with you about your otherness?

This is what I'm talking about.

Yes, now I get it.

Now I get it completely.

That's literally the entire vibe.

It's all Elizabeth Warren with a headdress on.

There we go.

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Hey, Eddie.

What?

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What doesn't belong in my epic summer plans?

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Oh my gosh, it burns me all the time.

I know.

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Well, what should be holding me back?

Uh, probably,

I would say you're, you've got problems with, you know, the you have acid reflux.

Yeah.

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I hate loud noises.

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Sasquatch can also help with mundane things.

In 2003, Jack was looking for a a new house, but he couldn't find one he liked in the location he wanted.

Jack searched for six weeks.

Nothing was right.

Then one day, Sisquatch appeared and asked why Jack hadn't asked Sasquatch for help.

You're a broker, Jack said.

He didn't want to bother Sasquatch with something so pedestrian.

Then I guess he reluctantly asked Sisquatch to find him a new house.

And wouldn't you know it, two days later, Jack found the perfect place.

Oh my God, first is back.

Now a new place?

Easy.

That's amazing.

Yeah, man.

It's crazy.

One-stop shop.

Yeah.

And is there any any reason why Sasquatch is spending all of this time on this man?

He's special.

He's special and he's different.

In 2010, Jack Kowani was driving and he psychically was able to tell that the tie rods were about to break.

Sure.

Certainly not the sound of the engine.

Not everything you hear is a psychic thought, guys.

I just want to say that.

Just remember, everything that you hear or see is not necessarily a psychic thought.

It just occurs through instruments that go into your brain.

Yes.

That make us just a thought.

There's just a thought.

So he went to a mainstream mechanic.

Oh, no.

But the mechanic insisted there was nothing wrong.

Looks fine to me.

Jack went home, then he went back to the mechanic the next day.

This time, the mechanic was stunned.

Your shit's all fucked up.

The tie rods were completely broken.

It was an absolute miracle that Jack had been able to keep driving.

Wow.

It turns out Jack and Sisquatch were using telekinetic powers to keep the car operational until he could reach the mechanic.

It seems like you must have been using telekinetic powers to keep this thing going until he got to me.

God damn it, you're the smartest mechanic I've ever met.

You must be one of those fringe mechanics.

All right, but I still take real money.

Oh, wow.

Wow, quite expensive.

I'm a, what you call a holistic mechanic?

I use natural energies to heal your car.

Sasquatches and the Star Peoples have access to memory stones, which contain more information than a computer.

Sasquatch can can travel through dimensions at will, existing in several dimensions at the same time, which is why, on the rare occasion, when a hunter sees a Sasquatch and fires at them, the bullet passes through them and they remain unharmed.

The red glowing eyes often associated with Bigfoot sightings are proof that they are multi-dimensional beings, as the red allows them to see through the electromagnetic fields of our dimension.

This multi-dimensionality.

You're having a real hard time with this part.

This multi-dimensionality is also why Bigfoots have the ability to dematerialize at will, as well as make their own footprints disappear.

This also explains possums and cats.

Okay, good.

Sometimes when Kowowni is talking to a friend who is a psychologist, an astral Bigfoot appears, and their psychic vibrations are so powerful that Kowowne loses the ability to speak.

His psychologist commented that when this happens, they can tell that there is another being in the room with them.

And then they charge him double.

Bigfoots can astral.

project anywhere at any time.

Some people see a ghostly apparition of Bigfoot, and sometimes they're even caught in photos and videos.

Sure.

Bigfoots do tend to get attached to people with strong psychic potential because they have the ability to change the world.

Change the world.

And the man of sunshine in your uniform.

Do they enjoy the movie Phenomenon?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

These guys are online.

They were first online.

And nobody knew.

Spoiler alert.

It's a brain tumor.

Yeah, he does.

Yeah, he does.

But at least he gets gets shaved by Kira Sedgwick.

He does.

That's all I think about.

And those chairs.

Oh, yeah, I remember that.

Yeah.

Michael was another movie from that time.

It was.

It was.

It was like that back-to-back, right after Pulp Fiction.

Yeah, he just destroyed his career.

Yeah.

And White Man's Burden.

Yeah.

And Broken Arrow.

Oh, I like Broken Arrow.

That was a good one.

It's really bad, but I love it.

Christian Slater was also very good at that movie.

He was.

Can we just talk about Broken Arrow?

Absolutely not.

Absolutely Absolutely not.

The 90s career of John Travolta is really fun.

Like, I know a lot about it.

I've just listened to these movies.

I get it.

It can be overwhelming to understand all of Bigfoot's incredible abilities.

I feel like by the end of this episode, I'm going to be divorced.

Yes, that's the goal.

That's the goal.

But if this helps your puny brains understand, you can think of them as ascended masters.

However, Jack presumes you already know who the ascended masters are.

That is,

we all know who they are.

Who?

A Bigfoot that befriended Jack Kowami told him that Bigfoots were the first humans to populate Earth many millions of years ago when dinosaurs reigned.

Oh, star people seeded Earth with a variety of humans.

Bigfoots actually taught several species of ancient humans how to use fire, and they taught them the Bible, eagle contributions.

They gave them a practical skill, and then we gave them fake make-believe.

Oh, yeah, you go back and forth.

In fact, paleontologists have mislabeled the fame astropolithicus known as Lucy as the beginning of modern man.

Modern man was seeded by star people and many primates involved in the hominids separately.

Paleontologists have also mislabeled the giant ape ancestor Gigantopithecus as a hominid, cramming it into Darwin's theory of evolution, despite it being evidence of the Sasquatch race.

Quit wasting my time, Charles Darwin, suck my dick.

I got a galapa nut for you.

Hell yeah.

Fucking get him, dude.

Yeah, man, come against Charles Darwin.

Come hard.

Yeah, fuck you.

Eating all the dodos?

Yeah, man.

Fucking hanging out with turtles all the time.

Leaving none for us?

Yeah, man.

Your penguins suck.

A Bigfoot named NAFTA told now-to-see Sasquatch communicator Kathleen Jones that seated humans and Sasquatch live alongside dinosaurs millions of years ago.

And in the 1930s, dinosaur and human footprints were found in the Paloxy River in Texas.

Some of the human footprints were 25 inches long.

That makes them a Bigfoot.

So that means then humans and

humans and dinosaurs didn't live together.

It means the humans and Bigfoots live together.

Yes, Bigfoots and their giant ancestors.

Because we also know that they're they're also giant creatures that are the actually the ancestors of the bigfoots oh yeah so there's bigger bigfeet yes bigger bigfoots they got smaller over time just like cell phones oh

humans are the result of star people hybrid breeding programs

however god damn it nature scientists are too busy worshiping darwin's theory of evolution to see what is right in front of them Many of the elder Sasquatches that Jack Kowane has spoken with have confirmed that the folklore of indigenous people is the real history of Earth.

Right, in addition to modern humans that were bred in their current form 7,000 years ago, the star people bred all sorts of creatures: dragons, centaurs, minotaurs, mermaids, giants.

Any folklore or mythology about fantastical creatures is actually true.

Lord of the Rings is a documentary.

So, why are we talking about Bigfoots?

Because that's the guys we got around now.

Oh, so Minotaurs are extinct.

They used to be.

Oh, they're extinct, Eddie.

Okay.

Please.

There's footage of mermaids.

I've seen it.

Where?

I showed some on the stream.

Yeah, but there's some footage yesterday on the Instagram.

They do that all the time now, though.

Mermaids, they always make them way uglier.

They label ugly things as mermaids all the time, not the cool, titted things we see.

Yeah.

Jane Goodall, who's still alive,

is a perfect example of a person who was aided by psychic Bigfoots because she is able to telepathically communicate with chimpanzees.

She is obviously pure of heart and very open-minded, though she was not completely fearless because she collaborated with mainstream science up until the point she got her pussy eaten out by bubbles.

These are romantic.

The Sasquatch is a little bit.

You gotta warm up.

You can't just get right into it.

No, eat her pussy, man.

Kiss her a little bit.

Yeah, yeah.

But he likes the pussy.

When you have that date with Jane Dennis, don't forget to eat her pussy.

She loves it.

You're right, Michael.

I don't know why I did that.

Yes, because you're me.

I don't know.

You gotta be me.

I have to be you, so

I have to fucking act out Michael Jackson

talking to bubbles before he goes on a date with Jane.

Don't forget that.

Don't forget to find the little man in the canoe.

Because after Jane Gudo likes.

That's a good lesson.

I'll try not to bite her fucking mound off.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Give him enough cigarettes to just eat the pussy off.

You want to toss mango in there?

Can you get a vagina transplant?

Yeah.

Sasquatches have told Jack Kowowne the path humanity needs to take.

All war and serial violence needs to stop.

And can we also include assaults on waffles?

All pollution of air, water, and earth needs to stop.

All bureaucratic greed and political corruption needs to stop.

And the population needs to drop substantially so nature can heal.

I guess the Sasquatches also end game.

Also, everybody needs to have a personal relationship with God and Jesus Christ.

Anybody everywhere except for Jim and that goddamn Jiffy Lube.

Dirty ass, morally bankrupt, damn for hell, Jiffy Lube.

Now, you may ask, it seems like all the Sasquatches are good, but are there any evil Sasquatches?

Yes.

You asked the question.

Yes.

You're right, Henry.

Good question, Henry.

They usually are working in coordination with the government.

Sometimes mainstream SAS squatches are recruited by corrupted star people.

The good Sasquatches and star people can exile bad squatches to live out their lives in isolation, and they can diminish the squatches' psychic powers so they cannot do harm.

Would it be more of a punishment to make them live amongst amongst people, like work at the DMV?

No!

Come on!

But enough about that.

Let's dig into some Bigfoot encounters that Jack Cooney documented.

Mrs.

Jones spent her summers in a cottage in northern Wisconsin.

Her husband always dropped her off and went back home.

In 1977, Mrs.

Jones was reading a book on her porch when Bigfoot used telekinesis to make her book fly out of her hands and land 50 feet away.

As she walked back to pick it up, Bigfoot spoke telepathically, apologizing for startling her.

Sorry.

Was that a thought?

Or did I hear that?

When she got back to her book, she saw a large hairy face and chest hiding behind tall bushes.

As she looked at Bigfoot's face, he gave her a wide, toothy smile.

Hello,

Mrs.

Donald.

Went back to her book.

But Bigfoot kept talking to her telepathically.

Hey, is that book good?

What is the book about?

Is it about men?

Is it about men with big muscles and chests?

Because I like men with big muscles and chests over time they became friends and they talked over many summers you see bigfoots are actually very curious about us and they want to get to know us but so many people are closed-minded and filled with fear that they don't accept the telepathic communications for what they are a friend request one summer evening mrs.

jones was smoking a cigarette and she noticed two strange shadowy men in her yard She ran into the house and locked the doors.

As she shivered in fear, she heard a man scream, God, what is that?

Let's get out of here.

And the two men fled.

Mrs.

Jones unlocked the front door, opened it, got the telltale waft of rotten eggs, evidence of Bigfoot's physical presence.

Bigfoot telepathically explained that the two men intended to cause her harm, so he scared them away by appearing in his full physical form.

Me and Mrs.

Mrs.

Jones!

Mrs.

Jones!

Jones.

And in the summer of 1979, Mrs.

Jones saw a classic saucer UFO.

She reached out telepathically to Bigfoot and asked him about the UFO.

Bigfoot told her, it's none of your business.

The next summer, Bigfoot informed Mrs.

Jones that he was leaving the area and they would not speak anymore.

Listen, baby, you don't know me no more.

And that was the last encounter Mrs.

Jones ever had.

So sad.

I find that real sad.

Just everybody, like, listen,

this whole thing, it's over.

I know, Mrs.

Jones, I know you're looking for someone who's strong and never weak.

It ain't me, babe.

I got to get going.

You got it.

You got to try someone here.

And the last experiencer we'll talk about today is Whitesong Eagle.

This is what she made when she found out she was white.

A now-deceased white woman from Indiana who lived with a Bigfoot named Tolukee and his family for a year in the 1970s.

White Song Eagle claims she's an adopted member of the Miama tribe of Indigenous Native Americans and that she has had telepathic communications with Bigfoot since she was a child.

I want you to just take a look at this picture of just how white this woman is.

This woman is named Diane.

I have been unable to find her.

This woman.

Oh, wow.

She is dressed like Disney's Pocahontas.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, she looks like she is.

She's at the mall.

She bought a Native American costume from a Spirit Halloween store.

Very much so.

And she's in front of a backdrop of a waterfall.

Oh, my God.

I love her.

Oh, yeah.

And by the way,

and that's not an actual

waterfall in nature because she's standing on brick.

Very much so.

Yep, it is fake.

Yep.

I love everything about it's fake.

I love her.

Now White Song, God, you know, if anybody, if you could be Native American just by wanting to be one, she'd be one.

White Song found Toluki to be the most beautiful creation.

A human soul in the body of a gorilla with three toes and fingers, brilliant blue eyes, and long white hair everywhere.

Taluki's wife was Talil, who has dimples, gorgeous lips, a round tummy, and big breasts.

Is there any Sasquatch who does not have massive Raquel Welch breasts?

No, I can't.

The idea of being, I think that they run flat big tops out of town.

Oh, yeah.

I think if you've got an African-American.

Those are the ones that are evil.

So they get bullied into being evil.

I'm glad your breasts have hair on them because I don't want to be attracted to them.

No, they came for you.

Thank Christ.

See, I'm glad I'm not attracted to my own tits.

White Song taught the Bigfoot family how to speak words out loud instead of just telepathically.

And their favorite words were to say, were shit, goddamn it, and you're not a Native American.

Whitesong always lived without fear.

She kept her third eye open.

So Bigfoots were naturally drawn to her.

Also, it collected flies.

Taluki could sense that Whitesong would be a valuable addition to their mission and psychically allowed Whitesong to perceive Bigfoots in their physical form.

Whitesong claims to have other Native American powers that allow her to stand between this world and other dimensions, so she could see Bigfoots and and UFOs anyway.

It's called being hammered on Canadian myths.

She also claimed that Bigfoot and the aliens are extremely secretive, and it was her sacred duty to keep their existence hidden from the rest of the world, not counting her book, Toluki, a Bigfoot account.

Yeah, it sounds like she talked about the existence of the Bigfoots quite a bit and in great detail.

Very much so.

Seems like it's an entire personality or entire identity.

Native American powers is also racist.

Yeah, absolutely.

These magical Native Americans, yeah.

You know, these Native Native Americans, they can fit through a keyhole, they can wink and go up a chimney, and they can smell corn for 25 miles.

And

ever since I got sick, I TP all over my skin.

Now, Whitesong's time with Toluki, they're very, very important, very special.

Taluki's whole family grew to love Whitesong.

She learned that Bigfoots can shapeshift, teleport, turn invisible, and jump dimensions at will.

Toluki is on Earth performing a mission for the star people, as most Bigfoots are defenders of the planet and are doing their best to stop capitalism from destroying everything.

And they are crushing it.

Wow, they're really at this point in history.

Man, capitalism has never been on more of a backfoot.

It is on the wane.

Bigfoots are very cautious about getting to know new humans, which is why they try to scare them away first.

In fact, Taluki tried to scare Whitesong away many times, threatening to kill her often before she decided if she was worthy enough

until she decided she was worthy.

I'm going to kill you.

I don't believe you.

I'm I'm going to kill you.

You beat the.

I'm going to kill you.

You beat them.

I'm going to kill you.

You funny.

Wow, you pal.

Yeah, you funny.

You my pussy.

He also claimed, apparently, Taluki said he claimed to have her 23 me results, and he was super happy to release it on her.

Chaluky is weary of trusting humans because they become dangerous at night when they drink alcohol.

Sure.

Now, as we wrap up, I just want to talk a little bit about how the fact that this is not going away.

It's still out there.

Jack Kowowne's speech, he made a speech about Bigfoot in 2017.

It's on YouTube.

If you watch it, you can see how broken this man's mind is.

As he shifts topic MIG sentence throughout 90 minutes, the biggest takeaway is Jack is convinced that there are gangs of murderous hunters out there tracking Bigfoot, hoping to kill them.

He also claims to have spoken telepathically with Bigfoot over 1,000 times.

Jack believes Atlantis is real because some deep sea divers found square formations on the seafloor.

And quote, squares don't exist in nature because everything in nature is round.

I thought you were going to say cool as hell.

No, no.

Fucking squares.

Jack says his ask his friend sent him a psychic dog.

The dog named Comanche reads Jack's mind.

It talks to him, saying such stuff, saying stuff as, I want water, daddy.

The dog calls him daddy.

Yep.

Jack says he's telepathically communicated with a hawk, a raven, a bear, a wolf, even a snake.

Wow.

He's like son of Sam, but racist.

No way.

Oh, yeah.

Jack claims that there are seven types of aliens he's encountered.

Oh, you know, and he doesn't know.

He kind of gets all stuff.

But I just want to come back around in a little final message here.

Okay.

This is all still going on.

It's going strong.

The last psychic Bigfoot conference I saw run by Sunbo True Brother, the last one I saw was 2023.

And I went looking for Sunbo True Brother's real name.

I could not fucking find it.

If you find it, please email me, sidestories L-P-O-T-L at gmail.com.

I want to find out what his regular person job was.

I'm going to have to guess his name is Jacques Leclerc.

Something like that.

I think in Canada, they actually let you just, they pay you to be a Bigfoot psychic.

Yeah, they're like, you just stay over there.

Yeah, you say it.

You go in sasquatch water.

That's part of their budget overall.

In many ways, I think we all have something in common with these broken people and white-collar criminals.

Who wouldn't want Bigfoots in their main group of friends?

Sure.

Oh, yeah.

There have been many, many low points in my life where I wish I could have prayed to Camus for help.

Where I needed the grand elders to sort my shit out, and I got nothing.

Why did the Ascended Masters choose these fake Native Americans?

Good question.

Well, maybe the rest of us weren't on the right cocktail of over-the-counter meds and personal tragedies to be on the Sasquatch vibration.

Not enough colonial silver

in our diets.

Maybe the rat race has left us hurried and stuck on the wheel.

There's TV on the gas stations, plastic in our ovaries, and swing music is not going to come back again.

We've lost touch with nature, and we maybe can't be in the wise man's world anymore.

Or maybe these transracial psychics are right.

And we just need to relax and just start

seeing Bigfoot

everywhere.

Make Bigfoot your roommate that no one else could see.

And never back down.

No matter what they take from you.

I like it.

They take away your job.

Your chip, your kids.

Your kids, because you're definitely taking away your kids.

Oh, first thing up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You'll keep your job way longer than your family.

Yeah.

I mean, you can't have kids and talk to Bigfoot.

Bigfoot will eat your kids.

Exactly.

Bigfoot can't teach.

they're not ready for the truths of Bigfoot.

So, this is some pretty perky-tidded Bigfoot women that I'm looking at right now.

And that's one thing, one big slopper.

I don't know if perky's the word.

Well, the perky, there's two different images that we're looking at right now.

There's perky on the left, the ones on the right are those are hangers.

She's still hanging.

Yeah, those are knee cleaners.

Oh, but one thing I wanted to tell you is that now all of these guys, White Song Eagle, not now, she's dead now, but Jack Lapsaritis and Sumbo True Brother

have created this sort of like psychic Bigfoot media company called Ironwood Log Project.

Fuck yeah, dude.

Fucking get it.

Where it's all together under they have just decided

she'd be filled with that iron log

Everybody in a circle it's looked like for a while what was happening was that they were they were like competing and then they realized why are we all fighting each other?

We're all on the same team.

Let's put all of the psychic Bigfoot grifters in one event.

It's like the Montauk project.

Yes.

Wow.

Ironwood Log Project.

Well, check it out, ladies and gentlemen.

It's out there.

Psychic Bigfoot, he's there if you want it.

But also, if you don't want it, if you don't want it, but if you want it, then you're not going to get it.

Can't get it.

So, what was the point?

Don't want it enough.

Yeah.

If you think hard enough, you could be dumb enough to think you're talking.

Or just start talking to Bigfoot.

Yeah.

Just start talking to Bigfoot.

You don't know what shows up.

Patreon.com slash last podcast on the left.

If you want to see those Bigfoot Bigfoot breasts.

We're going to put those up.

We should do that so people can jerk off rather.

Yes.

Yeah.

Don't Google it yourself.

Wait for us to show it to you.

And of course, if you want to watch us live, do the stream, last stream on the left every single Tuesday at 6 p.m.

PST, 9 p.m.

EST, and all the rest of the stuff we got going on on YouTube.

It has been a long time since I've done so much mind-meltingly dumb research.

Thank you.

Thank you for dialing into this.

Yeah.

Because Rob was also a big psychic, Bigfoot guy, and he was sending me stuff.

And I can't not shout out Joel McCain and Grant Gordon, who helped me with the script this week.

I desperately needed their help with these crazy people.

That's great.

And it almost like there was a couple full sentences in this thing.

Yeah.

Yes.

There was almost several full thoughts.

And of course, come out and see us on tour.

We're coming to all sorts of places over the next few months.

That's right.

Go to lastpodcastonaleft.com and you can come see Last Podcast on the Left or side stories in all these great cities St.

Paul, Kansas City, Milwaukee, Oakland, California, Redway, California,

Cleveland, Ohio, Columbus, Ohio, and Portland, Oregon.

Oregon.

Oregon, thank you.

I'm very sorry.

I didn't realize the proper pronunciation until I listened to you.

Squitch.

Oregon.

Squitch.

Also, remember, it's never Sasquatch.

All right.

Congratulations.

Everyone is now dumber.

Hail safe.

No game.

Hail, uh,

I guess Bigfoot.

Yeah, Bigfoot.

Bigfoot is in no way affected by this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bigfoot's not listening to anything.

He's still safe and fake.

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