Episode 639: Heinrich Himmler Part III - The Dachau Spirit

You'll float too.

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Find out for yourselves, October 17th.

Hell is in flames.

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Black Phone 2, only in theaters.

There's no place to escape to.

This is the last

on the left.

That's when the cannibalism started.

It's a serious topic.

It's a serious day.

Thank God you got two wacky guys here today who

have some of the funniest things that you can find this side of Duck How.

What a great comedy show.

We're going to present for you today.

Eddie, give him a big one.

You know what I've been doing to like get into the mood is I've been downloading pictures of Ernest Rome and masturbating furiously.

And I don't know if that's good or bad.

I know Himmler would hate it, but Rome would like it.

And I just don't know where I stand if it's a good thing.

I kind of like, it's like so open, it comes all the way back around.

You know what I mean?

Like, if you only allow yourself to be gay for Nazis, what kind of hate is that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like love and hate together.

I've changed the word coming to roaming, and my cell phone package hates it.

But yeah, Verizon's been real upset about it, but otherwise, you know, I've been roaming, you know, days for days now.

Actually, I love the idea of the concept of roaming is cutting your nose off and jerking off on a man's chest.

Please, it's roaming.

Welcome to the last podcast on the left, ladies and gentlemen.

My name is Marcus Parks.

I'm here with the man who's trying to bring a little bit of levity.

His name's Henry Zabrowski.

Hey, everybody.

I hope everybody likes super long lines for death.

And of course, the man who's been roaming all over Los Angeles, it's Ed Larson.

Yeah, man, earlier, I roamed and I let it come out.

You know, I let the roam come out and it just went on the table and I put a little mustache on it.

It looked just like Himmler.

Oh, cute.

Yeah, a little cummler.

Actually,

I do like call and come Rome.

I've got like a big, like, oh, I got Rome all over my pants.

Yeah, but I roamed in my pants.

But the worst is going to be.

It's in my nose.

I roamed in my nose somehow.

You know, every once in a while, though, with your wife, you're going to pull out and one time you're going to be like, roam as you shoot it all over.

And then she's going to be like, oh, I guess I've made a bunch of leab and sturmin all over you and she's gonna leave you yeah yeah that's not gonna happen yeah not to me we're not to this three episodes deep to nine episodes maybe of himler so when it comes down to it uh you better start getting with the program but it can get hard for him honestly julie's last name is rosing she's very german and i'm a little disappointed in how little she cares about this

her silence is deafening

so when we last left heinrich himmler the nazis were finally in power by manipulating conservative figures in the German government who thought they were manipulating Hitler, the Nazis managed to get good old Adolf appointed as Chancellor, which was the highest position of power in government right under President von Hindenburg.

Within just months of being in power, however, the Nazis false-flagged their way into a full authoritarian regime by starting the infamous Reichstag fire, in which Germany's parliament building was burned down and left-wing politicians and activists were used as the scapegoat.

In the weeks following the Reichstag fire, Nazi flags began appearing everywhere in the streets of Germany.

You couldn't escape the swastika.

It was an overbearing presence.

It's sort of how, like, how you feel when you go to a conservative town and there's like MAGA shit everywhere.

It's designed to make you feel hopeless and outnumbered.

But one by one, Germany's most powerful institutions surrendered to Hitler and his goons because the alternative was to face the violence being perpetrated by either the SA under Ernst Röhm or the SS under Heinrich Himmler.

And now we see what it means to be inside of a fascist fantasy land because what has to happen within fascism and within one of something, especially within Nazi Germany, is that everybody has to sort of now accept the reality that they're in, because if not, they get murdered.

Yeah, they get murdered or you just can't.

deal with it.

Like you really like they do there's a lot of talk about how and a lot of debate as to how fully the German people accepted Nazism and how fully they accepted it into their lives.

And that's the thing, but that's the thing about a fascist government is that the more you're exposed to it, the more you're exposed to these totalitarian ideas, the more you just sort of break down and accept it.

Because you're trapped within the, you're in it.

Yeah, you're in it.

No way out.

And when you talk about the Nazi flag, too, it was like...

It's good marketing.

It is.

It's a good-looking symbol.

I hate to compliment them, but

you knew what he was doing.

These guys know what they're doing.

He knew what they were doing.

They had two different Nazi flags.

I learned about this today.

I didn't realize there was one that was just red, white, and black, and then with like stripes like the actual Germany flag.

And then they changed it to the swastika flag in 35.

Yep.

Because it tested better.

It's so weird.

And it was off-center a little bit, too, which kind of tripped me out.

Like, it wasn't like perfectly centered, the actual swastika on the flag, which is like a little weird, which kind of threw me off a little bit.

So you're not there yet because you don't know enough about World War II until when you close your eyes, you just see two swastikas.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or like when a woman takes off her shirt instead of playing

swastikas every time.

And I go, you get out, you get out, you get it, you get out.

They make wonderful booby tasks.

Swastikas.

I've seen a couple of those films.

Yeah.

Now, much of the worst violence began with who else but the Jews.

In April of 1933, just a month or two after the Nazis seized total power, Hitler declared a nationwide boycott on all Jewish-owned shops.

Soon after, tens of thousands of Jews were robbed, beaten, or murdered by Rome's SA and Himmler's SS.

And soon after, laws were passed that banned Jews from public service, university positions, and various other professions.

But the point we're going to come back to again and again in this series is that the Jews weren't even close to the only targets in Nazi Germany and beyond when it came to detention, harassment, and mass murder.

See, after the Reichstag fire was blamed on a non-existent cabal of communists, which is exactly what our government is doing today with the non-existent Antifa.

It's not a group, it's a concept.

Yes, but they've got the girlfriend.

I know, tell me about it.

Oh, I know.

And I see Greta Turnberg every day defying me with her bags.

Those bags are a wall of hate.

After the blame was placed on this non-existent cabal of communists, left-wing political party leaders in Germany stepped down or they were arrested along with labor leaders.

This also, of course, destroyed the unions.

But those on the right wing, even those who weren't Nazis, they were largely fine with the crackdown.

This was because conservatives in big business and finance, the aristocracy, and the landlords, they were given free reign to do whatever they wanted.

This, however, came at a great human cost, not just to themselves, but to their neighbors as well.

Landlords?

Landlords?

Wait a second.

Landlords don't do anything ever wrong.

Yeah, Henry, I'm sorry to do this to you, but apparently landlords can be bad.

Why don't we

fight more or less?

Any job that is a word.

Yeah.

Hey, hey, except when I applied to be goonlord of my local county, it's actually kind of nice.

I am, honestly, I'm second, I'm kind of second running up to be goon lord of LA counties.

Oh, congratulations.

That's great.

Yeah, you've been roaming lately.

You know, the key is to

roam, but never arrive.

Well, any autonomy that people may have had to live their lives the way they wanted to, as they did in Weimar, Germany, before the Third Reich, that was swiftly squashed by the Nazis.

The people on the right, they lost freedoms along with everyone else.

And even if they didn't care about that even if they were like well if you don't do anything wrong you don't have anything to hide those people paid dire consequences later on when germany was utterly and totally destroyed because of the actions of the nazis it's gonna come back to bite you in the ass one way or another just know that the checks in the mail yeah i think mostly it's because of how little respect they had for vs like why are they you know like i know w looks like two v's but you know we don't need to fucking do that shit i actually learned that the hard way in when I was in Greenpoint one time and I went to one of the like the super Polish like places.

Like I went to and I went to get like Kaksma?

Yeah.

No, no, no, it was like a bodega.

Oh, yeah.

And I walked in and legitimately the man didn't want to serve me and then he saw my license and he was like, Zubrovsky, Zubrushka, may I be good?

And he hit me and I was just like, sir, I do not have the father's tongue.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, I was a despicable rat.

Yeah, that's how they do.

They start speaking Polish to you and then you, and you can't answer.

They fucking hate it.

Yeah, they get real angry.

No,

I lived in Greenpoint for many years and I was often confused for Polish and anytime someone would speak to me in Polish and I would say like, hey, sorry, not Polish, I always got

and then they would walk away.

It was always ba!

But before World War II even started, the Nazis worked hard and fast on establishing an atmosphere in which the average German had to live their life in a way that was largely prescribed and dreamed up by by Heinrich Himmler and his ilk.

See, after the Nazi Party took over Germany, Himmler's insane ideas about racial hierarchies and social mores were seen by the average German as more and more reasonable, even necessary to Germany's continued existence.

In other words, as the country became fully Nazified, Heinrich Himmler's entirely unreasonable and strict rules for proper living became not only normal, but essential if you wanted to survive the Third Reich.

It's kind of like a chicken and the egg because the rules

beget the lifestyle, and then now you have the rules set in place and they have the power.

Once they have the power, then those rules become a giant whacking stick.

Yeah.

Now, the most effective action the Nazis took when it came to seizing and holding power within Germany was their takeover of the police.

The power to arrest German citizens was given to Ernst Röhm's SA and Heinrich Kimmler's SS.

And since neither group was actually a part of the government itself, they could act independently and

extrajudiciously.

They could act to arrest or even kill anyone that could even be a possible threat to Nazi rule.

This, of course, produced a wide net.

And as a result, Nazi detention in 1933 was unpredictable and confusing.

Just the suspicion of an illegal act was enough to detain someone, and mass arrests were used to destroy any possibility of organizing a counteraction.

Nazi propaganda, however, maintained that the entire process was legal and well-organized.

In reality, though, the Nazis were basically kidnapping people with only the slightest veneer of bureaucracy, doing it with just enough officialdom where people who were only half paying attention might say, sure, sounds okay.

It's like how today, people will say, like, well, like, ICE is just arresting criminals, right?

Because they're not paying enough attention to see the stories of the incredible amount of innocent people who are being detained and disappeared along with the criminals.

All these people who are half paying attention see is photos of scary-looking dudes, which is good enough for them.

You fucking piece of shit.

Do you understand what Elote and Tamales have done to the waistlines of the United States of America?

Fucking cutting into the money of our wonderful government, selling that tamale outside of the U.S.

taxation system, I say string them up.

Yeah, I, for one, fucking support our ISIS group.

And really, this is how the Nazis kept getting away with it and how the German people allowed all this to happen.

The frenzy of arrests and street violence after the Reichstag fire had badly frightened millions of middle-class German voters.

But it wasn't just the chaos that frightened them.

Instead of believing their own eyes as far as what the Nazis were doing to their friends and neighbors, Germans listened to what Hitler was saying about how the Bolsheviks would take over and kill them all if the Germans didn't vote for the Nazis again.

And sure enough, when the next election came in May of 1933, the people listened to Hitler and their own fears instead of trusting what they saw with their own eyes.

And the Nazi share of power only increased.

Do you think that it's also a show of power also helps them believe that the problem is big and ever-present?

Yes, of course.

No,

when you have all of this chaos going on, it's like the people, when people, when that fear hits you, like you, you don't want to think that something bad is happening there.

You want to think something good is happening.

Yeah, the government might, they've got to be busy doing something good.

Yeah, this has to be good.

That person can't be innocent.

I elected him.

Yeah, I elected him.

I pay, I said yes to this, so therefore this action that's going on, that must

be good because that's how they they feel better about themselves.

Now they feel better about what's going on.

Because people have a very hard time changing their minds when they've fucked up.

Yeah, I mean, it's fair.

We talk about sunken cost fallacy when it comes to cults.

We talk about this when it comes on those extreme ends.

And what people sometimes don't understand is that none of us ask.

No one, a lot of these people within Germany weren't asking for this.

They weren't asking for this.

But when the cult builds up around you,

You might want to figure out how to get out.

You have to look at that exit.

If you start to see the bricks start building around you, it's about time to start bugging out.

Yeah, yeah, it's time to get out of there.

Now, speaking of democracy, the Nazis soon began arresting democratically elected communist members of the Reichstag.

And over 4,000 left-wing officials, and not just communists, these were social democrats, these were liberals.

They were arrested without evidence as enemies of the state, even though it was the Nazis causing 95% of the trouble.

Truckloads of Rome stormtroopers openly roared through the streets of Germany, where they broke into homes and rounded up not just Jewish leaders, but communists, socialists, and very importantly, journalists who had been critical of the Nazi regime.

The German people, meanwhile, largely accepted it because, and I can't stress this enough, because many were overcome by the fear that a non-existent left-wing conspiracy was lurking just outside their door, waiting for just the right moment to destroy them all.

It's the same shit.

Yeah, and they're all fucking poor.

They're all just so desperate and sad.

And they don't have, they don't, they don't see where their next meal's coming from.

And so they're like, if you're doing anything, I'm with you.

Yeah, and if you're dressing me, Hugo boss, I'm there.

I absolutely love it.

I also go, I wonder if the, I want to tell the audience.

Just so you know, I pitched to Marcus before this, like adding a running joke to this episode that we wouldn't kind of come back to some humorous, you know, like back and forth.

But he said, this isn't even the bad episode.

No.

I just want you to know that I'm going to save that for when we get to the quote-unquote bad episodes.

This is, no,

like that's the thing.

Like, I'm writing this one and I'm like,

like, it's not even close to the worst one that we're going to get to in this series.

Not even close.

Cool.

Hey!

Make sure you let me know ahead of time so I can bring my armband.

It's for his blood pressure.

But with the Nazis arresting so many people, the prisons soon ran out of room.

They briefly held the overflow of political prisoners and SA barracks around the country, but the Nazis finally realized that a better solution, so to speak, was needed.

That solution, of course, was the concentration camps.

And the person Hitler chose to build and run this vast network of facilities was his number one fussy boy, the one who had the patience and the dedication to make it all work.

Heinrich Leutpold Himmler.

Oh, snot worst himself.

Honestly, it's just good he kept him busy.

No, it's not good that he kept him busy.

It made the Holocaust.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, you're right.

He was pretty busy.

No, take it back.

Now, contrarians like to say that the Nazis weren't any more brutal in their practices than their contemporary oppressors in Europe.

You know, Marcus, you know, the Nazis weren't more brutal than the practices of their contemporary oppressors in Europe.

You know what I was really thinking when I read this script, Marcus?

What contrarians might say?

They actually say that a lot of the other people are

worse

than what they just has been.

Yeah, yeah, that's what contrarians might say.

Yeah, Stalin, you know.

Yeah, yeah, they might say that.

They might say, he did that kind of stuff.

They might say that.

Wow,

they might say, wow, Mao killed more people.

Wow.

Mussolini was just as bad.

Yeah, and he fucking was a carb whore.

Yeah, he was because all the pasta, because he's Italian,

because you're racist.

Yeah, I am.

Yeah.

Against them.

Yeah.

But the way I see it, what puts the Nazis above everyone else really is Heinrich Himmler and everything that he brought to the table.

Thank you.

You can hear him somewhere.

Somewhere he's smiling, knowing that I made one man happy.

It's not making me happy.

I'm just saying it's what made the Nazis worse.

He loves the attention.

Because no matter if it's good or bad, I just like to be seen.

How many parts is my series?

That's rushball.

That's amazing.

What's an honor?

No one ever chose me to be the most evil.

Under Himmler's meticulous guidance and administration, the Nazis created, as one writer put it, the most complete record of torture, destruction, and despair that has ever been compiled in human history.

That same writer wrote that the Nazis utilized Himmler's, quote, putative administration of sadism, unquote.

I love that quote.

I do.

And no other regime in history achieved such horrors with as much cold and deliberate precision as the nazis and the big thing is that the nazis made their anti-semitism they made their oppression like the the murder and the the extermination was an actual function of the state itself an official function of the state itself a stated goal of the state itself yeah even a lot of other dictators had this sort of almost like style to pretend or to disguise or to say that it was one thing or another that they were doing one thing, but then they would do another.

They would kind of even play to this idea of like, well, I still kind of want to keep my power here.

There's like a beloved contingent I want to keep.

There's like a thing I want to keep.

But the Nazis were unique in that level of detail that they allowed themselves to do this with.

Like all the rest of them knew, to be honest, well, we don't need all this evidence.

Yeah.

And we could kill them more just indiscriminately and we can do this.

The Nazis really decided to do it with a like a real panache didn't hitler's inner circle like have a meeting where they were like all right how jewish does someone have to be for us to kill them always yeah they were like

that was a meeting that was a moving needle yeah because they were like oh half isn't enough you know like it was like one of the i think it was like three grandparents was like what they settled on or something yeah they definitely had many many many many discussions about this it's damn near the only thing they talked about uh it was it was up there

Well, they weren't talking about feeding people and they weren't talking about the economy and they weren't talking about rebuilding.

They weren't talking about any of that because the only goal was to kill as many Jewish people and Jewish-aligned people as possible.

Well, and the reason why that the Nazis specifically had this and the reason why that, you know, because Nazism doesn't work without the idea that individual morality does not matter.

You're talking about racial morality.

You're talking about, you know, we're doing this for the good of the race, we're doing this for the good of humanity, and that's the only thing that matters.

Individuals don't matter at all.

And when you look at everything from that perspective, then you're going to do some horrible shit.

And furthermore, the Nazis also looked at everything from the perspective of the law of nature.

Everything was about nature.

The Nazis not only saw other people as animals, they saw themselves as animals.

Everything was about, it was animalistic and survival of the fittest, complete misunderstanding of it, but still it was survival of the fittest.

So if you see yourself as an animal and you see everybody as an animal and everything is nature, you are going the pro but the problem, you're going to do some horrible shit, but the problem is that like, you know, like monkeys may kill each other, but monkeys not, not as clever as man.

They really

don't have the ability to make the engines of death and destruction that we can make.

I would actually love to see the connections to stuff like Schopenhauer and all those other like really dour racist philosophers that were around in Germany in the late 1800s 1800s too.

And actually wonder if some of that, like the really sad shit.

I'm reading Thomas Legatti's The Conspiracy Against the Human Race, and he breaks down all of these.

That's interesting.

It's awesome.

It's all these philosophical.

He's an anti-natalist.

His idea that essentially...

Well, he doesn't have a belly button?

Well,

he basically says consciousness is a burden placed upon those that are born.

Oh, human consciousness was a tragic misstep in human evolution.

And he bases this.

He's Russ Cole.

He's Russ Cole, but he writes, it's all like from his, he's a horror writer, and it's kind of like he decided to write a horror version of a philosophy book, and it's great.

But there's a lot of German thought in the 1800s that all involves this long stretch of like life is a purposeless

clock.

We are meat machines.

This idea that we are self-conscious nothings in a, what he said, in a, in chaos eating itself.

And, you know, stuff like that.

I wonder if anything's got like that got to get has trickled in at all it sounds incredible but it I I mean I would say for my understanding of Nazism is that Nazism would be a reaction to that maybe to that sort of thing because it's because Nazism

is about like we can do something about it it's about purpose it's all about purpose and it's it's about acting yeah oh because even like stalin sometimes would go like you were like okay we can kind of let the status quo go for a little bit like we can relax for a bit but hitler and himler and all of his people no it was always go go go go we always have to be doing something we always have to be accomplishing something there's always got to be another goal another thing to do uh and that sort of like manic energy is what powered the third reich and powered the holocaust and powered you know what 30 million people dead.

And that's kind of what he talks about in that idea that we're just, we, in consciousness, force ups, forces us to set these fake goals to keep going towards.

And that's what, quote unquote, a useful life is, which is garbage.

Now, Adolf Hitler chose Himmler for the concentration camps, not only because he was well organized, but also because Hitler believed that Himmler worshipped him.

Himmler, however, was, as we said, playing his own game, and he quite possibly may have done some pretty nefarious shit to even Hitler behind the Führer's back when the Nazis were coming up.

That's my Nazi.

See, that's how you are the worst Nazis that you even fuck over Hitman.

You fuck over Hitler.

Yeah.

See, in the early 1930s, Hitler had a girlfriend by the name of Gelli Raubal.

Oh, what if she could have just kissed him to smiles?

She didn't.

She couldn't.

Because he's Hitler.

Oh, wow.

Weird.

No, a girlfriend is all well and good.

But the problem was not just that Gelli Rauba was 20 years younger than Adolf Hitler.

Yeah, because who's Hitler?

Leonardo DiCaprio?

The big problem was that Gelli was Hitler's niece.

Is Hitler some kind of Leonardo DiCaprio?

Well, technically,

she was his half-niece.

Honestly, yeah, fuck her.

She was absolutely fucker.

I always check.

You guys got to make sure.

It's a dipping stick that you stick in her pussy and it comes out.

And if it hits the two marks,

you can fuck her.

Oh, okay.

Oh, great.

Glad you weighed in on that one.

Yeah.

Let's have a few

with you.

Let's start a new podcast that I think would be great for a 42-year-old man to start called You Can Fuck

I'm 44.

Yeah, yeah.

Isn't that like what Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are doing right now?

Are they hiring a girl?

They're like becoming a pimp to OnlyFans girls.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What I'm saying is we don't want to do that.

I'm pitching that ironically to you.

But it's already a show.

You're making a lot of money on it.

Boy, that's sad.

God fucking damn it.

Okay.

Great shot.

Now, as far as Hitler as a boyfriend went, he was what you'd call a bit possessive.

And as the Nazis gained more power, Gelli effectively became Hitler's prisoner.

So rather than spend a life as Hitler's plaything, Gelli died by suicide in 1931.

Smartest thing she's ever done.

Or at least, that's the historically accepted story.

Rumors exist, without direct evidence, mind you, that Heinrich Himmler actually ordered Gelli's death behind Hitler's back to eliminate a possibly embarrassing situation that could have kept Hitler out of power and could have completely fucked up Himmler's personal goals.

I really, honestly, I find it really irresponsible that you would spread gossip like this.

I said without evidence.

This is called misinformation.

No.

And I think that you should be deep-platformed.

No.

No, if you're open with how it's like, this is just a rumor, which I was, and I wouldn't entertain this rumor if it involved anyone else in the Nazi Party.

But if any of those fucks had the power to make this happen and more importantly, keep it a secret from Hitler, it would have been Heinrich Himmler.

They're absolutely gonna kill his super sad niece that he's having sex with.

Like, to be honest, they're gonna kill her.

Yeah, they're gonna kill her.

Guess what that is?

A liability.

A massive liability.

Yeah.

Didn't everyone hate Himmler?

Like, how was he able to convince people to do this?

They were afraid of Himmler.

Yeah, the blackmail.

And it wasn't necessarily that people hate.

Well, see, that's the thing.

Regular people hated Himmler.

Like people, like normal people with just like you know who are just trying to live their lives they didn't like himmler nazis

they liked what himmler had to say they liked what he could accomplish they liked what he was capable of they liked his ideas but you also think that one thing i seem to get more and more i research about himmler the reason why he was so smart is that he knew did not make his presence too overwhelming.

And he knew when to go in and out.

And to be honest, it seemed like a lot of what Himmler Himmler did was kind of off on his own.

And he'd come back in and they wouldn't even know what he was necessarily up to.

And then he'd fill everybody in and they would do stuff like that.

So Himmler was in the office.

Like Goring was the personality hire.

Goebbels is the funny one.

The three of them are all hanging out, fucking playing grab ass all day, doing all this shit, hanging out with Nazis.

Himmler doesn't hang like that.

Yeah, but he's in the inner circle, but he leaves a lot.

He's too cool for it.

Yeah, yeah.

He's definitely in the, he's, he's the, he is the big, one of the big three.

Like, the big three is Goebbels, Himmler, and uh, um,

goring.

Yeah.

Oh my gosh.

I was just in New York City, and fall's coming, and

I

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I had my new cashmere sweater on.

Damn.

Eddie looked fine.

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My wardrobe was appropriate for either.

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How about that?

How about this point?

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Now, rumors around having his girlfriend murdered notwithstanding, Hitler ultimately chose Himmler to organize and run the concentration camps.

But Himmler was not the sole creator.

Hermann Göring, Goring, one of the big three.

He had first established the first concentration camps in the German state of Prussia when Goring was heading the German secret police, aka the Gestapo.

I got into a little bit of a Goring hole the other day and I didn't realize it was all the stuff that's a big hole to dig into.

Oh, yeah.

But he's like, so he's another one that was probably gay.

They've been kind of, that's one of those things that they circle around.

He's definitely fat.

He won't.

But he was one of those where they said that, because the thing with Goring was with all the makeup, like he would cover himself in like very obvious makeup.

Like he would be very fabulous everywhere he went.

He was always in fantastic clothes and he'd have long hunting parties with his men.

He was.

Now, there was one quote from one of Mussolini's men when the Nazis went to go visit the Italian fascists.

And he said,

what is he like?

Dakota did a Goring War.

He wore a coat like a prostitute.

He seemed like a prostitute.

That a type of coat he'll wear.

You'll see Mussolini tears these guys to fucking shreds.

Oh, over and over again.

And it's all about their fashion, too.

Well, it's very Italian.

Oh, yeah.

It's just so funny because he's such a clown.

And all these terrifying Nazis come to meet him.

And he's just being like, you look like fucking shit.

It's so funny.

You fly all the way to Italy.

You can't even comb your hair.

Hey, hey, look at you, hey.

Put on a little cologne.

Hi, Chicania.

Put on little cologne.

You know, like,

that outfit is goring.

Uh-oh.

Going off of Goring's example, Himmler established his own concentration camp completely under his control.

I'll make my own concentration camp so I'll be in charge of all the pain and we're going to think so hard.

Have you ever seen the book?

There is actually a really good book called Concentration Camp that's about psychic children put into it and they have to do stuff for the government.

Wow.

Is that Magneto's story?

Well, this concentration camp was established just outside of Himmler's hometown of Munich, and it was the first camp run solely by the SS.

This most enduring of Nazi concentration camps was very soon known to the German people as Dachau.

The way you bring it up, it sounds like it's the Simpsons.

What, this most enduring character, Mo Sislak,

was one of the most loved and enduring.

Now it's important to establish right up top that when the German people claimed that they didn't know anything about the concentration concentration camps or that they didn't know how bad the camps really were, they were trying to feed the world a very large load of revisionist horseshit.

Okay.

The lie that they didn't know came about mostly because of an autobiography published in the 1970s by Hitler's architect and Hitler's best friend, Albert Speer.

You are my best friend.

I can just sit here and talk to you about big, ugly blocks of stone for hours.

And also, you know what I like?

Is that also sometimes we can just sit in the comfortable silence of the concentration camps.

That's true.

Are you serious right now?

Although it's not really silent because of all the screaming screaming.

I don't even hear it.

I fall asleep to it.

Well, Albert Speer claimed in his autobiography that he'd know nothing.

about what was going on in the camp.

I know nothing!

And this is after he had spent 20 years in prison after the Nuremberg trial let me just throw my brain or not I've just done so much

that they don't know you talking about the time I worked on that Dave undbusters

that's what you mean the Dave wundbusters

well his claim that he knew nothing about the concentration camps was a demonstrable lie because Albert Spier helped design some of the camps as an architect he nailed up the signs But this book, written decades after the war, it gave the German people an out.

They can say, well, if Hitler's closest advisor knew nothing,

how could I know?

As an average...

How could I, as an average German, no more than Albert Speer?

And so, for many surviving Germans, the camps basically became memory hold.

You could say, I didn't know anything, even though you very much did.

Do you think they might have known not everything?

Yes.

Yeah, they didn't know every single detail, of course, but they knew the...

Were they allowed to visit the camps?

No.

the citizens no well then also started to understand where they started to put the camps yeah right because eventually it began to be outsourced out right yeah it get moving it was moving farther and farther away from germany in order to hide it eventually but dachau was 12 miles outside of munich no no yeah it was not that no you can literally walk there yeah yeah yeah it's a sad walk yes they could put something in there like a water fountain or a couple of hot wings places but they don't

in reality the existence of the camps was spoken of in newspapers as early as May of 1933, just months after the Reichstag fire, in the context that people were being held in Dachau under so-called protective custody.

In other words, see, it wasn't hidden at all by the Third Reich that leftists and Jewish leaders were being sent to Dachau.

In fact, Dachau was such a known quantity in Germany that people had a cautionary verse about it, almost a prayer.

Went like this, Please, oh Lord, make me dumb so I won't to dock outcome.

Jesus Christ.

Yeah, it's something people would say.

So yeah, you have known something.

But this, again, you do have an explanation.

Like, you do know kind of why, which is that people were getting mass arrested and they had to figure out, quote unquote, right, this was the solution of where we put all these people we're arresting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And at first, they weren't, they were just putting them there.

They weren't like killing them, right?

Not in the way.

They weren't exterminating them.

They would die, like, malnourished, and they would die, like, get beaten to death by a prison guard.

But it wasn't like a fucking like line them up and shoot them, put them in the gas chamber.

Some guys were getting shot, but shot again.

It was before they got real organized.

Yeah, we're going to get to that here in a bit.

But yeah, most of that started after the war.

Okay.

Yeah.

Nadachau was established soon after Hitler became chancellor in 1933.

But by the time Hitler put a bullet in his own brain in 1945,

27 concentration camps and 1,100 satellite camps have been created.

Wow, that's the worst 27 club of them all.

Yeah,

that's what that song's about, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's about the ones, you know, around

Birkenhow, not Bergenbell.

It's not a yeah.

And these camps were utilized for everything from slave labor to simple extermination.

The camps did, however, open and close according to need.

But whether by necessity or some strange sense of twisted sentimentality, the only camp that was open and functioning for the entirety of the Third Reich was Dachau.

Now the Third Reich was not flush with cash.

People were fighting in streets over butter for fuck's sake.

So the first concentration camps utilized infrastructure that was already built.

Workhouses, vacant hotels, sports grounds, castles, and even restaurants were used to imprison the enemies of the Third Reich.

Likewise, Nazi torture dens also appeared all over Germany, to the point where no village or even city quarter was not home to at least one private room where the Nazis could quickly torment and abuse their enemies without having to travel too far.

I just wish I could get one.

You know what I mean?

It'd be fun to do to just randomly attack comedians in various cities just for the sake of just like keeping them on their toes.

Put them in restaurants?

Yeah, is it hiding them?

Ooh, delicious in the evil back room.

That's what we should do with all the closed-down hooters.

That's a great rain.

It's exclusively to torture and kidnap local open-mic comedians?

The green room.

Which also about Nazis.

Yes.

Wow, weird.

Now, it probably wasn't on purpose, but the utilization of existing structures as concentration camps, this actually helped the German people to accept their existence as a reasonable solution to their imagined problems.

This is especially true of the workhouses, because Germany already had a large number of them before the Third Reich due to their cultural cultural tradition of performing manual labor as both punishment and rehabilitation.

Where do you think Arbeit Macht Frei comes from?

I thought it was a commercial jingle.

Arbeit Machtfriend.

Arbat Machtfrei with WeWork.

My workplace.

See, many Germans believe that a strict work ethic could cure so-called deviants of their degenerate instincts.

And even social welfare in Germany prior to the Third Reich was based on the concept of performing hard work in exchange for social services.

So for the German people, the concentration camps, as they were in the beginning, they were more or less an extension of what they were already doing as a country.

Basically, the average German could look at a concentration camp and say, I suppose it's fine.

Like, it'll be good for them in the long run.

And who cares?

As long as I can get a job and stop feeling like a fucking loser.

Would you also say that they did kind of create jobs in the constructions of these things, too?

Well, they were already,

most of them were already built.

It wasn't to say that what they created jobs with.

Actually, that's what I'm about to get to right now.

Got it.

Now, just like it's been across humanity, German citizens believed that the oppression of other people would somehow benefit them economically, trickle down slave labor, as it were.

And as it was, some people did benefit.

Each concentration camp basically became a town unto itself, with its own tailors, blacksmiths, shoemakers, and bakers.

And some farmers even used the the excrement of prisoners as free fertilizer.

God, can you imagine lining up with a smile for your monthly allotted share of prisoner feces?

Oh, God, human shit potatoes?

Yeah, I will say.

No wonder they were so angry.

You know what I'm saying?

When they say, like, you know, you could get to that point where a bad smell, they go like, smells like money.

You know, like that thing where it's.

Yeah.

But in the end, as it always goes, the only people who really made massive profits on the concentration camps were the big corporations, like the chemical and pharmaceutical conglomerate IG Farben, who double-dipped on the concentration camps in the worst way possible.

Bayer!

Yeah.

IG Farben used slave labor from concentration camps at their factories, but they also manufactured and distributed the infamous chemical Zyklon B, which was used to kill over a million concentration camp prisoners once the final solution became an integral part of the concentration camp system in the early 40s.

It is important to note, however, that the majority of the six million Jews killed in the Holocaust were not murdered in concentration camps as it's often assumed.

Where and how they were killed will be covered extensively in a later episode.

That would be the aforementioned worst one.

How exciting.

Yay!

What a jeez.

But for this episode, we must remember that the concentration camps targeted a wide variety of people, including leftists, gay men, trans people, Roma, and basically anyone who might have given the Nazis a hard time.

You know what I learned is that what was weird is the Nazis, of course, they hated gay men, but not because they were necessarily homophobic.

It was because you shouldn't be having sex with other men.

You should be having sex with a woman so you can make a baby.

But they also had really had no, they

actually came out and said they had no problem with lesbians because they said that lesbians were merely go, and it was, it's fucked up how they put it, but they said that they were, I can't remember the exact term they used, but they said that there were not enough men in Germany for all the women because of World War I.

And so these women, like some sort of like,

they were needing to go.

Yeah, they were needing comfort.

So they were turning to each other.

But of course, the plan was like, once we do have enough men in Germany, then, yeah, we're going to start killing the lesbians too.

But until then, let's just kill the gay guys.

I think they killed somewhere, I think it was 15,000, or

15,000 gay men were murdered.

Most of them were castrated chemically or physically.

And then you look at somebody like Göring or

Rome, right?

They're all part of the actual function of the Nazi government that were largely living out loud, gay.

And I think that why that works is because

there's something about,

but it's different because he's a chosen one.

There's something that's like a different one where it's like, that's about subjugating other men.

Well, he's contributing otherwise.

Yes.

Like

he's doing his part.

Now,

weren't other countries in Europe also

chemically castrating gay people during this time?

I don't know about that necessarily.

I do know that other countries in Europe at this time were also incredibly anti-Semitic.

I mean, I was getting, I think they get chemically blown up.

I was, I was, because I was a member of the imitation game.

I remember they chemically cast traded that guy.

Well, yeah, that was he, because I think, but also, did that come, I think that was in the UK, yeah.

That was the UK, yeah.

Yeah, that's why I brought it up.

Oh, yeah, I mean, it's not, yeah, it's not.

It's frowned upon, Eddie.

Okay.

Yeah, it was going real bad for gay men during this time period.

Yeah, yeah, really, really badly.

Now, under Heinrich Kimmler's exacting guidance, the concentration camp system of the Third Reich had its own organization, rules, staff, and even its own acronym for easy reference in Nazi paperwork.

In official documents, camps were referred to as KLs from the German Koncentration Schlager.

Yeah, you're going to want to abbreviate that.

Yeah.

Cancel along with it.

But since there was so much paperwork, we're able to see how the concentration camps constantly evolved and overlapped, as opposed to how it's normally thought of that concentration camps were just there to kill Jews.

See, in the early to mid-30s, where we're at now in this story, concentration camps were more used as deterrent threats, reformatories, slave labor centers, and straight-up torture chambers.

It was only towards the end that they became used more for human experimentation and genocide.

It is necessary, however, to discuss the evolution, because the elements that were needed to get the camps to their endgame were present from the very beginning when Heinrich Himmler was building and establishing Dachau.

Now, when Heinrich Himmler was deciding who should staff Dachau, he figured that it would be best to use not just the SS, but SS officers who volunteered for the position, or at least SS officers who understood that it would be in their best interest to volunteer.

As far as who those volunteers were, the average age of a Nazi concentration camp trooper was 23.

I mean,

think about that.

I mean, that's how it's the only ones you could could get, I imagine.

I mean, they're more or less the age of a recent college graduate.

Yeah, yeah.

And you're fucking stupid at that age.

No offense to our listeners that are 23, but you're going to get smarter.

You just don't understand yet what you might be involved in and what that all is.

I did some really stupid, fucked up shit at that age.

But still, you know.

It's still hard to.

It's hard to forgive a Nazi.

Yeah, I mean, you were never a concentration camp guard.

No, I know.

No, you sold drugs.

Yeah, you sold drugs and owned guns.

Yes, yes, for sure.

Yes, but I'm just saying, like, even, you know, even if you become a better person, Eddie, though, at that age, you really make some bad decisions.

You do.

I will say, though, Eddie, what about that time you and I burnt Grenada?

Well, that was one of our hardest, most immature things.

Grenada.

Yeah, we went to, me and Eddie did a two-person assault against this town in Spain called Grenada.

We burnt it down, we attacked all the women, we killed the children, and we arrested all the men.

Hold on.

But we weren't, I went to the island.

Yeah, we were like, but we were 23.

Yeah, yeah, I get it.

I get it.

Time.

No, most of these guys were middle class, and most had not fought in World War I due to their age.

They had, however, been radicalized by years of right-wing propaganda that had made them terrified of communists and furious towards Jews for supposedly losing World War I and making their lives miserable.

That's the thing I want to correct is for you guys to understand that a lot of these Nazis didn't serve in World War I.

Many of them did not.

I think a lot of these, I think a lot of people assume that the Nazis were these war-destroyed World War I disaffected.

In my, that's what I thought legitimately when I was first getting into this, that there would be a lot of World War I, disaffected German soldiers that would want to be a part of this.

But we realize like now, that was like 25 years in between the two.

They'd be in their 50s.

And so everyone that said, it's like they weren't World War I officers.

These were, these were angry children.

Well, not just that, but what the World War I officers did is they came back.

Like Germany was one of the very few countries that looked upon World War I with a sort of romance.

Yes, and they thought they wanted to do it all over again.

Yeah, they looked at it

and the younger kids are like, ah, if only I could get, if only I could get there, if only I could do that.

Whereas in every other, in France and England and America, like every World War I veterans, I don't want to talk about it.

I don't want to talk about it.

Please don't.

Let's just never talk about it again.

Please never mention.

And let us do every single thing we possibly can.

I don't care what, to make sure that we never have to do that ever again.

We've done very little touchings on World War I.

World War I was bad.

Yeah.

World War I was bad, dude.

It was like, it was rough.

I saw all those fake faces in Edinburgh.

I saw all those

things that they had to do to replace everybody's fucking cheekbones.

Put a piece of porcelain in your face and you go, I just want to say still nice that I had an opportunity to be a part of the government here.

You mean like it's bad.

It was so incredibly bad.

And that was part of how the Germans got as powerful as they did, and part of why they were able to get to the point where they could invade Czechoslovakia, because every other country in Europe was saying, like, we got to do everything, anything.

I don't care what.

We're not going to war again.

And Germany's like, we're going to war again.

We're doing it.

We're fucking going.

Like, try and stop us.

Now, back to the SS.

Great.

While one had to be of a certain temperament to even think about joining, new members still had to undergo a full regimen of brainwashing once they signed up, which included weekly exams on Mein Kampf and quizzes on the works of Heinrich Himmler's favorite occult and right-wing authors.

Oh, we could get deep into that.

Yeah.

Oh, hell yeah.

It's kind of like what you make me do.

Yeah.

I'm the Himmler of this podcast.

I'm keeping the lore straight.

Oh, yeah.

I love that I'm watching 31 horror movies and nothing but Holocaust footage.

Hey, man.

The water's fine.

All I know is I got sad watching the Nazis, and that was one of my struggles.

I never requested you to watch any Holocaust footage.

Thank you.

You didn't have to.

I appreciate it.

I've just been sending to them on TikTok.

That's my algorithm right now.

I'm on Cost Talk right now.

You ever found yourself on hashtag Cost Talk?

I've not.

I've never been on Cost Talk.

It sounds blank.

It is.

Now, out of his new SS recruits, Himmler began singling out individuals who could look upon Jews and communists with no humanity whatsoever.

And these were the guys recruited to run and guard the concentration camps.

These units came to be known as Der Tutenkopf, or as they're better known, the Death's Head.

Now with the Death's Head, Himmler upped a uniform game from the simple brown shirt and black pants uniform of your average SS member.

The Death's Head units had the full black uniforms, the classic SS look, the classic Nazi look.

But the piece des résistance was the skull and crossbone badges that the death said proudly and openly wore on their caps.

Now yeah, we all think about that fucking amazing Mitchell and Webb sketch here, Are We the Baddies, and all that.

But the German military had been using the Totenkopf as far back as the year 1740.

The skull and crossbones were revived by the German army in World War I, and its use was continued by various right-wing paramilitary groups after the war during their battle against the Weimar Republic.

In other words, the skull and crossbones were something that the Germans were very much used to.

Now, out of the early recruits at Dachau, two stars of the SS.

Oh, wow!

Wow!

Stars of the SS!

They rose to the top of the death's head pile.

These two men were Adolf Eichmann, who eventually managed the deportation of Jews to extermination camps, and Rudolf Huss, who you may remember from Zone of Interest as the top man at Auschwitz.

Very nervous man.

These two men were amongst many SS officers who went to great lengths to export what was called Dadachau Geist, or the Dachau Spirit.

Oh, wow.

That's like, oh, it's like, is that like one of the nights?

Is that a theme night in Dachau?

Spirit night.

Give me that old Dachau spirit.

We're going to fight.

We're going to push every Jew into a trench.

We're going to fight.

We're going to push.

Well, no, they really did.

They worked to export this to concentration camps all over Europe.

Dachau was the model for every camp to come.

And the man who set the tone for the whole thing was Heinrich Himmler.

They would seriously ask, like, this new place, this Birkenau, does it have the Dachaugeist?

Yeah, it's got a lot.

Yeah, you better believe it, Mein Freinken.

So Himmler did have hoes in different area codes.

He did.

He did.

Before the war, the present population of Dachau would vary depending on which community was being most villainized by the Nazis at that time.

The one that was most useful as far as who could be blamed for Germany's problems.

This is very much like how our current administration switches between groups like MS-13, the non-existent Antifa, and trans people as their boogeymen.

Hold on.

My Antifa badge isn't real?

No, buddy.

What are you talking about?

No, no, buddy.

I paid $30 for my Antifa badge.

Yep, you got conned.

That is conned by a roosky agent.

God damn it.

That's just somebody on Etsy.

That's it.

That's just some guy on Etsy.

Stop talking to Septim Rings.

Sometimes, just like the Nazis did with the Jews and the communists, this administration will mush their boogeymen together, like this recent trans Tifa nonsense that we keep hearing about.

Well, yeah, honestly, I did...

I did have to avoid a roving band of Trans Tifas the other day

because it was so hard getting around all zero of them.

It was so hard to just deal with those, those, that phantom area where there was no one there.

It's interesting because the clan are the ones wearing dresses.

Yeah.

It's interesting.

And you know what?

Tableclubs, okay?

And I'll tell you this, I've seen a lot more clan members in my lifetime.

Yeah.

Many, many more.

In person with my own eyes.

Oh, yeah, very much so.

Was it at dinner?

No.

No, it was when I was a kid coming back from a basketball game.

The clan was having a meeting in a field right off of the road, and there was in a bus with a bunch of other kids, and they were burning a cross on the side of the road, and it was

pretty pointed towards our school.

I sure should.

We had black kids in our school.

Hey, man, that was a good one.

Not many schools at that time did.

But they filed their permits, and it's allowed.

Yeah, yeah.

And in Throckmorton, Texas, it's very much allowed.

Now, all this, of course, depends on what's going on in the news and what can scare people who are half-paying attention the most.

But in Germany, that meant that while Dachau could certainly be majority Jewish, it was at times majority homosexual, majority homeless, Catholic, communist, and so on and so forth.

Now, most of these people would not be held indefinitely in Dachau, nor were they killed in the camp.

A lot of prisoners came in and out of Dachau in the years before the war.

Because remember, the Nazis were fucking up Germany for a full five years before they invaded Czechoslovakia.

But after Hitler kicked off World War II, Germany needed as much slave labor as it could get to maintain the war machine, because Germany's economy under Hitler was backwards, idiotic, and totally fucking nonsensical.

But that's all to say that the Nazis' military accomplishments are much like the pyramids, and that you can really get a lot of shit done if you're willing to kill a lot of people in the pursuit of your goal.

But the necessity of slave labor meant that very few prisoners were released from Dachau after the war began.

And since Germany didn't have the means to feed even their own citizens, the most common release from Dachau after 1939 was through death.

And once Dachau began filling up with Jews, leftists, and Nazi critics, the SS guards began to.

I was about to say it got hilarious.

And it became the funnest place to be.

All the funnest people in the world were there.

Actually, they were.

Yeah.

Jews, leftists, yeah.

All the funny funny people.

Roberto Bellini.

Yeah.

The people with class.

Honestly, Roberto Bellini is the only one I agree with this murder.

It's the only time the Nazis were right.

He was very good in Down by Law.

You got to admit, he was very good in that movie.

Do you really not like Life is Beautiful?

Life is Beautiful is phenomenal.

I hate that.

This is one of his contrarian things.

I'm allowed to hate Roberto Benini.

I'm allowed to hate him.

Benocio.

Well, after Dachau began filling up, the SS guards began torturing the prisoners as a matter of course.

Inmates were beaten with hands, fists, and an array of weapons like truncheons, whips, and sticks.

Their skin would be slashed, their organs ruptured, and their bones broken.

And this was without killing them.

Taking a page from the Italian fascist, the Nazis would also force-feed prisoners castor oil, which can cause both diarrhea and constipation, depending on the person.

But once the river began flowing, so to speak, the prisoners were also forced to eat those feces

and drink urine.

What's that supposed to do?

Castor oil?

No, I mean, in terms of eating all the poo-poo and the pee-pee.

It's torture.

It's torture.

Oh, oh.

What do you mean, what's it supposed to do?

Did you think it was supposed to, like, I don't know, make them run real fast?

No, no, no.

Or maybe it was one of those things that you know.

You know, the Olympics are coming up.

We need a good shot, but you never know.

You just never know.

I just always like to know.

I just, I'm curious.

Why?

Because it's horrible.

You would have made a great baker in Dachau.

Why?

That's the big question.

Why?

Sexual abuse was also far more common in the early camps when compared to the later SS camp system.

And a lot more random.

Because, you know, later, the Nazis set up brothels at concentration camps called Freidnaturlungen.

That roughly translates in English to Droidivision, which is where the band gets its name.

So please listen to our four-part series that me and Carolina did in No Dogs and Space about Droidivision for the full context on that, because that really does take a lot of context.

It does.

It's a good, but honestly, a good plug.

Is that why they're so sad?

Partly.

Yeah.

I mean, that's got to be the least horny place in the world.

Droidivision concert?

Yeah.

But in Dachau, while the female prisoners were certainly raped and abused, the more specific sexual abuse was mostly directed towards the men.

In some cases, their naked genitals were thwacked with sticks and truncheons, and some were even forced to masturbate each other.

The only person in my family was a female on the Catholic side, was raped in a concentration camp,

got pregnant from the SS officer that did it,

made it through, came to America with the child.

And then my entire family,

apparently, from what I heard from my mother, shunned them because she had a Nazi child.

Oh, my God.

Eddie, are you, is this a part of your new hour?

Where's the punchline on that?

You know, it's my, it's, you know, this is the Catholic.

Not everything he says has to have a punchline.

He can just say.

I was trying to make his extremely brutal story funny.

Okay.

I was trying to bail us out of an extremely brutal story.

Sometimes, Henry, you can just let it sit.

I'm sick of it.

Everything sits.

You just let it sit.

My comedy stands.

Quote-unquote comedy.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Is it comedy if it doesn't land?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

Jokes are jokes.

Even if they're not good?

Yeah.

Unfortunately.

Yeah.

Just like people.

Exactly.

I never judge a joke.

The so-called Dachau spirit featured a few elements that were deemed by the SS as necessary for an effective concentration camp.

First, the camp had to be sealed off from the outside world to prevent escapes and to engender a feeling of hopelessness.

This also created jobs because it meant that the concentration camps had to basically become towns unto themselves.

I actually heard that the Luxor took quite a bit from Dachau.

Yeah.

I thought they took from the pyramids.

Jewish slaves.

Either way.

Second, the guards and the commandant had to stay separated to keep the idea of hierarchy firmly at the forefront of everyone's mind.

Third, it had to feature work details from the prisoners, because the camps solely dedicated to extermination camps like Treblinka, those were technically outside of the KL system, because a KL is supposed to serve a purpose.

But perhaps the thing that gave the concentration camps the most Dachau spirit was Himmler's contribution of a set of strict rules that had to be enforced through a uniform set of punishments.

Now that was, of course, the idea, but in reality, each camp was ultimately ruled by what one writer called an arbitrary terror, in which each prisoner lived in continual fear of their lives.

This fear was, of course, warranted because the killing of prisoners began extremely early in both the existence of Dachau and the reign of the Third Reich.

See, before the SS, Dachau had been staffed by 70 members of the Bavarian police force.

And they're just mostly arresting chocolate so they can eat it for fucking lunch.

I put arrest on this truder and on this eclair.

I don't care if it's French.

I know I'm supposed to hate the French, but I love the Eclair.

But in April 1933, a month or two after the Nazis seized power, Himmler replaced the police at Dachau and put the camp under full SS control.

Figuring that they needed to set the tone, SS officers premeditatively murdered four inmates the day after they arrived to demonstrate how things were going to be from then on.

Those inmates were, of course, all Jewish.

But while two of the victims were local political activists, the other two were of no particular political importance.

This basically showed the so-called political agitators what would happen if they didn't keep their mouths shut, but it also showed the Jews that they could be killed just for being Jewish.

Were they killed in front of everybody?

Or do you know?

Like, I know it's a gross detail to ask.

No, it's not a gross detail.

We don't know.

Yeah.

We actually,

that actually is not known at all.

I was curious how much of a statement it was meant to be.

It was, I think, enough of a statement where word could spread.

You know, like, these four guys ain't around anymore.

That's a good point.

You'll float to.

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But once the SS men in Dachau began the killing, they found it very difficult to stop, especially after it became obvious that there wasn't going to be any real consequences for murdering prisoners.

See, when the first four people were killed in Dachau, this is the first four people killed in any, these are the first people killed in any Nazi concentration camp.

A prosecutor in Munich was actually called out to the camp by the Nazis because the Nazis were, I suppose, still trying to at least pretend like they respected any law other than their own.

In the early days of the Third Reich, it was still the law that if any person died in state custody from anything other than natural causes, the death had to be reported and investigated by a local prosecutor.

So the guy called out to Dachau, a principled, decent man named Joseph Hartinger, who's kind of a hero of mine, drove out to the camp and was immediately shocked when he noticed that the entire place was staffed by SS men.

This was still early days, and the SS were not, again, not a part of the government, and they had no actual legal authority to detain people in this manner.

Hartinger was even more disturbed when he was shown the bodies of the four victims, who had been simply tossed in a storage shed to rot.

The SS claimed that all four men had died while trying to escape.

But seeing as how they'd all all been shot at the base of their skull in the same spot, the more obvious conclusion here was murder.

Joseph Hardinger didn't roll over.

When more and more deaths were reported, so-called suicides, in which the victims were obviously beaten before dying, Hartinger got to work trying to figure out any and every way that he could personally stop what the Nazis were doing.

After compiling a mountain of evidence with the local medical examiner, Joseph Hartinger issued a murder indictment for the camp commandant at great risk to his own safety.

And he did achieve a few small victories merely by pushing back against the Nazis when everyone else was too afraid to do so.

In fact, it's been said that if there had been just a hundred men like Joseph Hartinger pushing back in all of Germany and a hundred in Germany, not just like not, we're not talking about Munich, we're just talking about Germany, then the Nazis could have been stopped even after the Reichstag fire.

And Hartinger, by the way, survived the war and never gave up hope throughout.

He bravely kept all of the records from his investigation throughout the Third Reich's 12-year rule hidden away.

Papers that would have gotten him sent to a concentration camp and killed.

He was saving it for the day when the Nazis would inevitably lose power and he might have the opportunity to prosecute those murders.

And while he did not prosecute those murders directly, the evidence that Joseph Hartinger gathered was used in the Nuremberg trials.

Wow.

Weirdly enough, these very scary individuals, it seems, are are affected by even the smallest amounts of pushback.

Very much so.

You just have to do it.

And then it does take you sacrificing yourself to do it.

And it's very, very difficult to make the choice.

I mean, not even necessarily.

He didn't.

Then it was because it was...

It wasn't too late yet.

Well, the thing is, too, is that you got to know who has the power to be able to do it.

Because Joseph Hardinger was not Jewish.

If Joseph Hardinger was Jewish, then

they would have killed him because there were lawyers and people and prosecutors who pushed back against Hitler hard who were killed for doing it.

But Joseph Hart, and that's the lesson, is that you got to know when you're the guy who can say, fuck you, the one who can stand up and say, no, I'm not going to go along with this.

You're out there.

You exist.

They have always existed.

You can't pay off an entire country to kill us all.

Like, that's kind of what this is about.

Like, you can't just pay us off and think that we're just going to walk away from what's happening inside the country.

But they're just, you know, there just wasn't enough of him.

How does he get, how did he get away with not getting killed?

Did he hide?

Because he was white.

He was a fucking Aryan, German, card-carrion member of the fucking society.

Basically, they

swept him aside.

Because the Nazis, when they could just sweep someone aside, especially if it's just like a regular ass white dude named Yosef, you know, like if when they could sweep him aside, that's what happened.

It's like basically the files were sent off and it went to this person and that person.

The whole case was basically killed.

So when they could do that, they did.

If they could avoid outright murdering someone, they would.

Just because it was, honestly, just because it was messy.

It was messy.

And

they would have to deal with pushbook.

People say, oh, why did you kill Joseph?

I like Joseph.

Now, the biggest consequence of Joseph Hartinger's pushback against what was happening in Dachau was that the killings did temporarily stop.

And to avoid any heat from the ever-sensitive middle class, the camp commandant who was indicted for the murder was replaced.

But unfortunately, for everyone who ever went to Dachau afterward, Himmler replaced that commandant with a super Nazi named Theodore Ike, who had joined the Nazi Party in 1928 and had been a member of Himmler's SS since 1930.

Yeah, I can't even leave skud marks onto my underwear

because you're such a good Nazi.

Yeah.

Have you tried?

It's very difficult to fist my diet.

What's your diet?

Venus Nitzel beers.

Big long polanos, big, delicious half of ice, delicious brothers,

even more delicious frankenfurters, and delicious little ones.

And I get filled with evil brown substance.

And I wish that I could do anything to make my shit white.

You know, if you eat chalk, maybe.

Good idea, Jew.

Good idea, Juices is the kids!

Well, like many of Himmler's top men, Theodor Eika was yet another crackpot that Himmler had put into a position of power.

And this was after Eica had, of course, proved that he could not succeed or even exist in a civilized society.

See, after Einka had become a full SS man, he was arrested just before the Nazis came into power for constructing a bomb at the IG Farben plant where he worked.

And the intent was to use the bomb against the police.

But Eike had become, as one writer put it, one of Himmler's most trusted adherents on racial matters.

As such, Himmler was able to pull some strings to get Eica released because there were already plenty of Nazis in positions of power.

But Himmler told Eica that he'd only be set free if you promised to never do anything like that ever again.

Never, do that.

Never.

Never.

Never.

You never

do the bomb.

Stop with the bomb.

Me, no, you you ain't.

You're out of my special secret medieval night club.

No,

no.

I've been eating charcoal.

Look at my boobs.

I made some cream.

Good job.

Good effort, but still no bomb.

Ika said yes.

And was sent to Italy to train their Nazis on how to be effective terrorists.

That tells you what IKA's good for.

You know, like, go train people to be terrorists.

You'd be good at that.

Don't stay here in Germany.

Honestly, thank you.

Only thing I've ever thought to

do.

Or Himmler would call a self-portrait.

Now, ICA returned to Germany in March of 1933 after Himmler came to power.

That's how much he sucked.

He had to wait until Hitler was in charge before he could come back.

But upon his return, this is again how much further he sucked.

He immediately got into a fight with a local Nazi leader that was was so intense that the other Nazi was able to arrange to have Eike committed to a mental asylum.

I cannot believe you've had your vacation and got attended.

You will not allow.

I will not allow you to live.

So it sounds this guy's bit crazy.

I kind of

overblowing everything.

Well, to Himmler, this had meant that Ike had broken his word.

He'd gotten in trouble again.

So IKA was kicked out of the SS.

But after the asylum's director informed Himmler that Ike was not mentally unbalanced by his standards, Himmler apologized, got Ike released, reinstated him in the SS, and gave him a promotion.

Even gave 200 Reichs marks to his family.

I've got to say, honestly, it was kind of even fun being in jail because I got to hate new things.

New types of things to hate in AN.

It's just, it's crazy.

So honestly, thank you for the opportunity to learn to learn all the terrible people.

See, this was right around the time that Dachau's first commandant was under fire from the whole prisoner murder thing.

So Himmler figured that since he'd saved ICA twice, and since ICA had the right points of view, who better to run Dachau?

This again is the elevation for loyalty exchange we were talking about.

And since ICA had the same insane racial and societal beliefs as Himmler, Himmler knew that ICA would have no problem whatsoever in executing Himmler's vision.

No, I mean, I'm just pissed.

Yeah, you don't like Nazis?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What's wrong with them?

You're right.

It's not giving me heartburn or anything.

Now, Ica thrived almost immediately upon taking over operations at Dachau.

The young guards at the camp reportedly adored him and even began affectionately referring to him as Papa Ica.

Papa.

And so, since Ica was doing such a bang-up job at Dachau, Himmler elevated him once again and made him the top man in charge of the SS Death's Head units, even going so far as to share in the recruitment process process of potential Death's Head members.

This is the most emotional day I've ever had.

I never knew that my hate could take me so far.

I knew as a hateful little boy that one day I was hoping that I could hate my way to the hate Olympics, and it's just been

a pleasure.

I know this song was written by a Jew, a Jewess, but you really are the venomy my way.

God, sometimes the Jews are just eaten.

I even think the anger I except that the animal is so incredible.

Unfortunately, a Jew also wrote White Christmas.

What?

What?

Both Eike and Himmler agreed that younger recruits would be the best fit for the death's head.

They called them Blutjung, which translates roughly to those in the first flush of youth.

It means, it literally translates as young blood.

Yeah, literally.

like young blood yeah the musician oh this is all coming back to me it's all coming back to young blood and his talentless waist his thin stupid talentless torso

no no no no just switch over to the the image comic young blood that's funny sorry yeah oh oh gets better okay it is funny how much you don't like young blood and you just keep talking about it and i know that your phone is listening to you and then like giving you young blood material so you just like start hating him more and more Youngblood had to go on three different interviews to explain that he did have a relationship with Ozzy Osborne.

And when they finally got to the nut of it, it turns out he met him 20 minutes before a concert a year ago.

And then all of a sudden, now, I still again, I believe Ozzy Osborne thought he was a hot woman.

It's so funny because

how much you hate Youngblood is making me like him.

Well, back to the blut young.

Eventually.

First against the wall, when Henry Zabrowski's Zabrowski's in charge.

Well eventually, many of the Death's Head guards were handpicked directly out of the Hitler youth.

So by 1938, the average age of a Death's Head guard at a concentration camp had dropped to just 20 years old.

Big balls?

Does it remind you of anything?

It's kind of funny in a way where it's like, you need young, dumb men to do quite a bit of this.

You really do?

Because they're driven.

They got nothing else to do.

They got nothing.

Literally, Literally, they're filled with common, and if they're not making Aryan babies, most of the other people probably don't want to touch them.

It's just anger.

They're just full of so much anger.

They're just rage.

And they need purpose.

They really, they crave it.

They want it.

And the Nazis were very good at giving people purpose.

And we are looking for a part-time person here at Last Podcast Network, too.

So you could send that over to SideStories, L-Po-H-L-A-Gmail.com.

We're actually looking for a young blood ourselves.

That's true.

Now, these young men had, according to Himmler, a balance of malleability and resilience not found in the older recruits.

Himmler also found that the enthusiasm of the young recruits tended to spread to the older ones, which was needed because the older Death's Head members came with their own set of problems.

See, older SS guards tended to become far more sadistic and corrupted by power, harder to control.

These are your guards who earn nicknames like the Beast or the Bone Breaker.

Although, one interesting nickname I found amongst the list of infamous concentration camp guards, Handsome Handsome Tony.

Hey, it's me.

Hey, I'm from the old neighborhood.

You gotta prop me.

Listen, listen, you're looking kind of skinny.

You want some woosado?

Yeah, that's a joke.

I'm not giving you nothing.

I'm a Nazi.

Technically, I'm from Coney Island, but I grew up.

I say I'm from Benson.

Yeah, absolutely.

Look at me.

So was he like the only Italian in the SS?

No, no, no.

He was very much

German.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

That's a Death Set SS man.

Yeah, he was very much a Death Sad SS man.

He was convicted for beating 100 prisoners to death in the terrorism camp.

Damn.

In 2002, at the age of 90, he was one of those later Nazis that they caught and prosecuted.

I'm glad we got him.

Yeah.

I say,

people always do this.

We always find like some 95-year-old Nazi, and everyone's like, oh, if there's any left, fucking hang them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, it's not.

We should do something new.

We should literally get the old shit out.

We should get all the old stall set up an old-fashioned fucking hanging gulag style thing and fucking string them up.

Yeah.

It's not a bad idea.

You know what's interesting is because like handsome Tony is the most infamous of all these guys.

Like it's like the other ones like Beast and Bonebreaker.

They like needed the bad name to make them scary.

Oh, handsome Tony.

That's the true fear.

Don't get buddy.

Oh, no, I'm

so much more afraid of the

fucking handsome Tony than the Bonebreaker.

It's like if you say, the bone breaker's coming, I'm like, all right, fine, I guess he's going to break my bones.

Like, you know, he's he's coming to visit you.

Nice, Frank.

No!

Nice!

Nice, Frank!

Beautiful Philip.

The other problem with older Death's Head guards was that some could get a little tender-hearted with the prisoners and would even begin to sympathize with them if given enough time.

Oh, this is the Hogan's Heroes types.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, they begin to, because it's almost like they forget that everybody's people or whatever, and that's fucking, you know, whatever.

It's a a waste of nazi energy yeah and also i hate jews are charming yeah

you want to hear a joke yeah it's gonna be a lot of like hey you want to hear a song you want to hear a joke why do you think it took so long to kick woody allen out of this

yeah and not all communists are just like super annoying and bad at parties no

some of them are fun

can be some of them can be very fun yeah and you know with older guys you know the older you are the more experienced you are you know the more you might be reminded of somebody.

Yeah,

most people naturally soften as they get older if you are

a good person trying to change.

Yeah, but with younger people, you could just tell them, hey, this is how it is, that person's evil, and they'll go, okay, and then do whatever you want.

Well, they just don't care.

They like having the hat and the uniform and the gun.

Like, really, when it comes down to it, you can impress the 20-year-old very easily by giving them a hat and a gun.

Yeah.

Well, the sympathy was especially true in Dachau, where death's head sentries were in far closer contact with prisoners than in the more expansive camps like Auschwitz and Buchenwald.

But for the young bucks, the close proximity in Dachau, that just gave them more opportunities for cruelty.

Being young, they were often bored and looking for status, and acts of violence could both alleviate the tedium and make them more popular amongst the other guards.

As such, cruelty to prisoners was often seen by other Nazis as a boyish joke.

Jocular humor.

Yes.

For example, a guard might yell at a prisoner to get him to jump.

Prisoner gets frightened and he jumps, makes the other guards laugh.

Young man sees this, yells again, gets the guy to jump again.

But when that joke gets old, you got to keep up in the stakes.

If you want to keep gaining that social currency, you got to keep making people laugh.

And they're not going to laugh if you keep doing the same thing over and over again.

It sets a vibe, it sets a tone.

Yeah.

It's that Dachau spirit.

That it is.

And now that I think about it, this whole, it has like this weird...

frat-like atmosphere.

I mean, like prisoners, when they can't, like, they shaved off all their body hair, which seems like a prank.

And in one case, a prisoner actually died after an SS officer inserted a hose into his rectum and opened up a high-pressure water tap.

Didn't a frat boy, like, die from that, like, fairly recently?

Well, that's why I think that there's a, again, an overt function and a subtle function of these young men altogether, because they really are.

That's what it is.

What we talked about with QAnon specifically, or any conspiracy thing that radicalizes young men, one of the things it definitely does is tell young men, you're okay, you're correct, we're going to support you no matter what you do.

We're in this is unconditional love.

This is your new version of unconditional love.

We actually want you to be the worst version of yourself because we love you, because we want to support you, and it permeates this.

It's a fake love that permeates it all the way through.

It's like in France,

the fake love comes from buying your way in, right?

Like you buy in, you have to fit in whatever this area.

And in here, it's a are you nasty enough?

Are you are you mean enough to be in the club?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's a bunch of guys who can't make friends all become friends.

Yes.

And they could also maybe want to, this is also would be the same pool that would normally be in the German army.

And so it's kind of then.

At some point, you begin to, I bet, as a young person, you begin to almost even forget the veneer of the costume and what you're doing and all this kind of shit.

And it does begin to feel like boys being boys playing pranks and other men and boys and doing some some weird jocular fucked up thing because again, also, we're on the other side.

And also, at this point, like if these kids, like, if they really do want to be a part of, like, feel like they're a part of that World War I spirit, you know, and to have a uniform, like at this point, the German army is limited to 100,000 members because of the Treaty of Versailles.

They legally can't have over 100,000 people.

So if a young kid wants to join the army, he most likely can't.

No.

You know, so, but he can get a uniform if he joins the SS.

Or the stormtroopers or one of those things.

But the SS, it seems to be really aimed towards the people.

I honestly do think that that's what Himmler understood about the uniform.

Kind of like what L.

Roden, what LRH understood about the uniform, which is that it gives an instant character.

All of a sudden, you are in, when you are in head-to-toe, black SS with the skull's head and all the kind of shit, it changes a person from the outside in.

Now, as far as the people who were sent to Dachau in the early days went, the best story involves a World War I veteran and dedicated communist named Hans Beimler.

See, Beimler had participated in the Bavarian Socialist Revolution of 1919, but he had been falsely accused by the Nazis of participating in the execution of 10 people during the uprising, including a Bavarian countess.

It did happen, but Beimler had nothing to do with it.

This mass execution was used by the Nazis to demonstrate the communist threat over and over and over again.

It was one of the few cases of real left-wing violence, so of course it was all they fucking talked about.

And Beimler was used as a scapegoat for the event because he had become a prominent Reichstag politician in Weimar, Germany, in the years afterward.

Beimler was actually quite confrontational, and when the Nazis came to power in 1933, he was known to rally crowds with the phrase, we'll meet again in Dachau, motherfuckers.

Okay, he didn't say motherfuckers, but you get it.

Yeah, like,

that's how I felt when I said it.

Yeah, no, that was very powerful.

Yeah.

This, of course, made Beimler quite the prize prisoner.

And when he was, in fact, sent to Dachau, he was forced to wear a welcome sign around his neck upon arrival.

Welcome, please.

You're right.

Actually,

it would have said Wilkemen.

Beimler was immediately singled out for torture, beaten thoroughly, and thrown into a cell with the corpse of a fellow communist.

The SS then told Beimler that the communist had killed himself, and if Beimler didn't do the same, the SS would do it for him.

But the SS was not the entirely loyal organization that Heinrich Himmler had envisioned.

Two rogue SS men saw the light and actually helped Beimler escape just hours before his scheduled execution.

And Beimler spent months evading the SS in Munich.

That's how charming he was.

Yeah, he must have been hilarious.

He had to have been.

Yeah.

Well, this is listen to this.

He eventually escaped to Czechoslovakia, and from there, he mailed a postcard to Dachau telling the SS to kiss my fucking ass.

Yeah, I know.

Beimler, however, would soon after die doing what he loved in 1936, fighting the fascists in Spain.

But interestingly, Hans Beimler's grandson would go on to write an impressive number of Star Trek, Next Generation, and Deep Space Nine episodes,

including, ironically, all the big Ferengi episodes.

Like the magnificent Ferengi, the one with Iggy Pop is the Vorta.

No idea.

He also wrote the much maligned Prophet and Lace.

Oh, considered by most to be the worst episode of Deep Space Nine.

So is that good or bad?

Well, he also, he wrote some other, like, he also wrote Impac Nora.

That's a really good episode.

And he was a producer for, I think, most of Deep Space Nine.

But yeah, it's weird because the Ferengi episodes are all about capitalism because it's the Ferengi, the most capitalist species to ever exist.

When his grandfather was an inveterate communist, but I think it kind of makes those episodes more sense.

The Fing Ethel can making fun of itself.

Yeah, it makes the episodes make more sense because he thinks that it's really funny.

Like, Prophet and Lace is supposed to be funny, and it's not.

Yeah, but you know, what are you going to do?

He made it.

Yeah, I don't think I've ever thought this before, but can we please get back to the Nazis?

So now that we painted a picture of the early days in Dachau, let's return to Germany at large.

See, Weimar Germany had existed as eight semi-independent states, but Hitler immediately moved to illegally unify all of them after he became chancellor.

This was partly symbolic, a further step towards Hitler's dream of unifying Germany, Austria, and its bordering lands.

But it was also a practical decision.

If power was totally centralized under Hitler, then Himmler and Goring could establish a unified police state far more easily, and Himmler could force local governments to subsidize SS units and concentration camps.

Resistance unification was, of course, met with extortion, torture, and murder.

And this is where our mini Himmler comes back into play.

Oh, yeah!

Reinhad Heydrich.

Hello.

That's the Stephen Miller.

Yeah, no.

Well, maybe.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'd say that that way.

He's the

like it.

He looked.

No, he definitely looked.

He looks just like Stephen Miller.

Well, he looks like an Easter Island statue.

Fuck the proclaimer.

Yeah, he does.

He looked like if Spuds McKinsey became a person and then got AIDS.

Yeah.

Dolph Cundron.

He was ultimately such an awful person that he had more nicknames than Mengela.

He was called the hangman, the blonde beast.

All schnitzeliers.

Himmler's evil genius.

They called me Shaizema.

The butcher of Prague.

And most hyperbolically, the young evil god of death.

That's a long nickname.

Yeah, he was fucked up.

He was like, because he was like, he had the same ideals as Himmler, but he also was strong enough to actually follow through with it himself.

He actually was a badass in a bad way.

Yeah, no, he went and fought.

Like he would like go and like participate in the raids and shit like that.

Yeah, that's how he got the nickname of the butcher of Prague.

Now, acting as Himmler's top man in the SS, Reinhard Heydrich coordinated the police under a centralized authority by claiming that there was still, even after all the mass arrests, a widespread communist plot operating in Germany.

It has to be.

Yeah.

Then, and an example of how these people lie to even each other to get what they want, Himmler took Heydrich's claims to Hitler and said that if Hitler truly wanted the communists gone out of Germany, then Hitler should probably, I don't know, if you want to do this, if you want to, I mean, you do it how you want to do it, but if you want to do it the right way, you should probably give me complete control over the state police.

And so, on Hitler's birthday on 1934, you know what day that is?

Now, on that 420, Himmler was given formal control over one of the most feared and terrifying secret police forces in history, the dreaded Gestapo.

Boomer man!

Fucking freaking fucking out, dude.

What's wrong with you?

Why are you talking about this ring?

You fuck, dude.

Bro, it's actually one of the darkest days in European history.

What the fuck?

Stop talking about it.

Have you guys ever watched the fucking Columbine footage?

Actually,

yeah.

Yeah, I did.

I fucking missed that day of school.

Well, with the SS, the concentration camps, and the secret police under his control, Himmler was perfectly positioned to gather even more information on his and Hitler's enemies.

With Reinhard Heydrich as his top deputy, Himmler established a meticulous system that gathered information on all opponents of the Nazi Party, dossiers that included business affairs, finances, lovers, family secrets, character flaws, daily habits, as well as more practical information like addresses and recent photos, but also the addresses of of all of their relatives and their girlfriends and their phone numbers and their photos.

And that same, that's actually one of those things that the CIA would learn to do, too.

Like, that was like one of those things that we almost, we probably learned from them.

Yeah.

Well, now we got Zuckerberg for it.

Yeah.

Well, now we just give it up.

Yes.

Yeah.

And once the information was gathered, it was written down on cards and filed into different categories, like Jews, Freemasons, political Catholics, bourgeois conservatives, and nobility hostile to national socialism.

And all of this was just saved and to be used when the Nazis saw fit.

What would be my tag?

Where am I?

Asshole.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, okay.

No, I would say.

What's my tag?

Okay, I got to think of it.

Degenerate entertainer.

Yeah, cool, cool, cool, yeah.

You're skinny, know-it-all.

Do me, do me, do me.

I'm sorry, Eddie.

You just get Jew.

Yeah.

Oh, ham-filled Jew.

Well, apparently, I'd be okay because only got two Jewish grandparents.

I obviously, but if I was the Nazi deciding, I'd still kill you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

But since Himmler was coming up in the world once again with his takeover of the Gestapo, he completely abandoned his farm and his horrible wife, Marga.

Poor Marga.

Poor Marga.

Marga.

Marga.

You gotta say it right.

Marga.

When Himmler permanently moved to Berlin to be at the center of the action.

Apparently, Himmler did not have strong feelings for Marga.

I feel like he didn't have any feelings towards anything.

No.

No ladies.

And while they did not formally separate, their relationship was reduced to a cold exchange of formal letters, in which Marga gave Himmler harvest tallies and asked for money.

Marga's letters were also full of complaints that chastise Himmler for spending all his time during his infrequent visits to the farm, either working or reading your stupid books.

Guys, could they?

Because he was busy working.

What do you want from him, Marga?

He's working.

You're only two towns away, and you can't come say hi to Marga.

You don't see how hard it is to orchestrate the Holocaust.

Yeah, you and Gundun, me and Gundun are here.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

I would pay more attention to you if either one of you was the systematic destruction of the Jews.

All right, once one of you is the systematic destruction of the Jews, send you come and then I'll maybe want to spend more time with you.

And Himmler had a side piece, too.

Yeah, we'll talk about her in an upcoming episode.

Well, in the the end himmler was just not very proud of his wife yeah she's gross yeah as is evidenced by marga's frequent requests to be present at the great nazi events like the nuremberg rallies like marg de goebels gets to go imily immigrant gets to go why can't marga himmler be a part of the master race uh because they knew how to dress okay they knew how to dress and they burn a fucking big stupid dump every single time we event everywhere okay that they say funny things they make impressions and they do good things all right you just sit here and talk about chickens and you smell like chicken shit i like chickens I know, me too.

But

we shouldn't be bringing up every dinner, especially when we are in the middle of eating chickens.

Do you know why the chicken crossed the road?

Why?

I don't know.

I was asking.

Hopefully it was done at gunpoint because the chicken was a juke.

You are funny, my husband.

Thank you.

And even though Himmler was riding high as the leader of the SS and the Gestapo, there was still one man standing in not only his way, but in the way of Nazism as Himmler envisioned it.

That man was Ernst Graham, whose charisma had helped swell the ranks of the SA street thugs to get this 4.5 million men by 1934.

This is not just because they'll take anybody and they're just grabbing packs of dudes.

Oh, totally.

And they're like, here you go, here's a stick.

You can go beat the fuck out of anybody you want, and they're just grabbing people, right?

Very much so.

Because it's not like the way the SS were disciplined.

No, quite the opposite, in fact.

And yes, these millions of men were loyal to Hitler, and many had joined because of that.

But they were also very loyal to Rome himself.

And the sheer size of the SA meant that Rome could be a little mouthier and a little pushier with Hitler than anyone else.

Yeah, because he had his own, he was supplanting the German army with them, too.

Right.

That's what he wanted.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's what he wanted to do.

Because, I mean, since Rome was a military man, he was pressuring Hitler.

Just like, hey, merge the, we got 4.5 million guys, make it a part of the army, and then give me control of the army that's like eight percent of the population it's a lot of people yes but then hitler knew to not make this man in charge of that much power well because he knew hitler knew that you know these are just dudes you know he doesn't want to piss off the military at this point because hitler needed the military on his side for his future plans of conquest and he also and hitler also knows that if Hitler hadn't have gotten into power, like the, you know, the what-if scenarios of history is that if Hitler hadn't gotten into power, then it's likely that Germany probably, after the Weimar Republic, it probably would have become a military dictatorship at some point.

Yeah.

Like, so like it wouldn't necessarily be a Nazi in power, but definitely like right-wing fascist military, you know, just not as bad.

And Hitler knows this.

Like he knows that the military's breathing down my neck and one of these guys can pull the trigger at any fucking time.

Well, we do note that that Germany was also farther along in any other country of being spoken to and having communist thought points layered throughout their society, too.

So that was like what a lot of they were talking about.

It's like they kind of thought that Berlin would fall before Moscow, before the whole Russian Revolution.

They assumed that the communist revolution would all come out of Germany.

So that was also right there waiting.

Yeah, it was.

Hitler was also pissed off with Rome because Hitler wanted to merge the SA with Himmler's SS.

He wanted the SA to be more like the SS.

But Rome wanted absolutely nothing to do with Himmler's nerdy, wannabe, medieval night night fashion plates, who were also, ironically, extremely homophobic.

But perhaps most importantly, when it came to Hitler winning over the German people in the early days of Nazi rule, was that Rome's SA had become a liability and an embarrassment to Hitler.

The SA's numbers, their ages, and their beliefs had made them an extraordinarily dangerous and impulsive group who basically made wandering around and fucking shit up their hobby.

And when you got 4.5 million dudes doing that, it's gonna be a problem.

In other words, no middle-class German would ever feel like their country was approaching stability as long as Rome's essay was roaming the streets, beating people up and sometimes killing them for no reason at all.

Just because they felt like it.

Oh, yeah, well, then it's because he created a monster.

Yeah, he did.

It's amazing they didn't get along.

I feel like they would have just talked for a little bit longer.

They would have been buddies.

Rome and Hitler?

And Himmler.

Oh, and Himmler?

No.

No, because Rome was gay.

He was openly gay and unapologetically gay.

And that's the thing about Himmler.

And remember, he's the real Nazi here.

Yeah, if you break one of Himmler's rules, you're done.

Punishable.

At least.

At least one of his big rules.

If you were loyal to him, he might forgive a couple of things.

If you kissed his ass and if he saw that he could use you for something, he might look past a thing or two.

But if you were in any way antagonistic towards him or if you weren't completely subservient to him, one rule, you're gone.

You're gone.

Additionally, Rome was still working with Gregor and Otto Strasser, the two early Nazis who had discovered Heinrich Himmler's incredible talent for administrative action.

But while both the Strasser brothers and Himmler believed in Nazism more than they believed in Hitler, the Strassers knew that Hitler would inevitably fuck it up.

In fact, Gregor and Otto Strasser had broken away from the Nazis in 1930.

They'd spent years trying to draw Nazis away from Hitler's influence.

Isn't that amazing this concept of like,

well, we all like Nazism.

We all like the hate.

But this guy is just going to fuck it up.

So we're not going to be able to hate as long and as powerful as we want to hate.

Well, it wasn't about the hate for them.

It was more about like the economics.

Oh, taking control of the country, taking control of the army.

Yeah.

And they actually were those.

Well, like, the problem was that Hitler was like, it's just, it's too much hate.

You know, it's like, but the focus, we need to refocus on the jobs and possibly these other things.

The hate is like, it's getting out of hand.

Yeah, but they, he's like, but the Sahate's the point.

Well, that was Himmler's point of view because the Strasser brothers, they're calling for a second Nazi revolution without Hitler.

But as opposed to the Strasser brothers, Heinrich Himmer believed that Adolf was the guy who could make his version of Nazism work.

While the Strasser brothers were more into the economics of Nazism, Himmler was into the fantasy.

See, I'm sure by this point, Himmler saw that Hitler was lazy enough and filled with just the right amount of hate that he would basically let Himmler do whatever he wanted just so long as Himmler stayed in his good graces.

That, of course, meant that anyone who might stand in Hitler's way in any respect had to go, which put Ernst Röhm and the SA firmly within Himmler's crosshairs.

Without Hitler even asking, Himmler had his man, Reinhard Heydrich, gather dirt on various SA leaders.

Then, Himmler began spreading rumors that Röhm and the SA were plotting a coup to overthrow Hitler, a claim for which no evidence exists.

Himmler's actions ultimately culminated in an orgy of murder orchestrated by Himmler and Heydrich that came to be known to history as the Night of the Long Knives.

Wow, we made it!

Yay!

I can't believe the war hasn't started yet.

No, buddy.

Sorry to tell you this, bud, but we're five years from the war starting.

Yeah, we haven't gotten there, buddy.

That's all right.

At least some Nazis are going to die anyway, right?

Yeah, yeah, at least that's the thing.

In the Night of the Long Knives, at least Nazis were also killed.

Yeah.

They just happened to be the reasonable Nazis.

You know, you have to say that.

Let's say, let's put that relatively reasonable-ish.

That's what I mean, isn't it?

When I'm saying those words.

Yeah, because no Nazi is reasonable.

It's like, yeah.

Now, interestingly, the Night of the Long Knives may have come about as a result of Hitler's bruised ego.

See, in June of 1934, Hitler flew to Italy to take a meeting with Italy's fascist dictator, Benito Mussolini.

We gave a little bit of a preview of what this meeting was like earlier.

It went very poorly.

It's so funny.

Because the immaculately dressed Mussolini pretty much spent their whole time together just making fun of Hitler's uniform and his overall shitty appearance.

You're the bad or white.

I look at you and I see somebody.

You're a badly a white guy.

Where is the fucking guy you're gonna do?

And he says, you need a bigger hat.

You need a bigger hat.

You need a sash.

There's another Gucci.

No,

no sash.

Have you ever seen how Mussolini dresses?

Yeah.

He's ludicrous.

Yeah.

I just, one day we'll do it.

Like, that's the problem is that Mussolini would be on the Mount Rushmore of Evil, but if it was like

comedic evil.

Like, Mussolini's such a funny character.

Yeah, but he was also extraordinarily evil and fucking out of his mind.

Well, he invented fascism.

Yeah, he did.

Fascinism.

Yeah, yeah.

But just the whole time, just like, oh man, why are you looking so much like...

Hey, let me ask you a question.

Why are you looking like so much shit?

I'm just curious.

I just want to know.

I just want to know why you want to look at so much shit all the time.

But it's fascinating because that is a real direct line of this style of thought.

Like, I don't even know what's just fascist.

It's like this idea of a style and representation that you're supposed to uphold.

And it's an outward appearance thing that has to always be upheld.

I just find it interesting because the Nazis were the ultimate in all of that and then they roll in looking like shit.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, it's not that they necessarily look like shit.

It's just like

Mussolini just didn't like the style.

Yeah, of course.

Yeah.

Now were they?

And Hitler did also look like shit most of the time.

Hitler just wore his shitty little adjacket.

He always wore kind of the same thing and he'd go and do like he was his hair was always fucked up.

Yeah.

Now, Hitler returned to Germany from his meeting with Mussolini with a big chip on his shoulder, and he immediately called a meeting to assess the so-called critical situation regarding Ernst Röhm and the rumors of the supposed coup of the SA, rumors that Himmler had totally made up.

That, however, wasn't the only impetus behind the upcoming purge.

The same day Hitler called the Rome meeting, the conservative who had put Hitler into power, Vice-Chancellor Franz von Popen, he gave a speech in which he showed a bit of buyer's remorse.

Oh yeah, he was like, huh, well, this is just getting to be a lot.

Yeah.

Yeah, after a year and a half of Nazi rule, Popen saw that he had quite simply made a very big boo-boo in elevating Adolf Hitler.

In his speech, Popin called for an end to the daily terrorism being perpetrated by the SA and for the restoration of some of the freedoms that had been taken away in the aftermath of the Reichstag fire.

It's kind of like, remember when Lindsey Graham went up right after January 6th and he's like, I'm done.

I am done.

Yeah, yeah.

He kind of like admitted that he fucked up and bending the knee, but then of course went right back to bending the knee.

Well, yeah, because he's always bent on his knees.

But this is sort of like that, you know?

And Popen's speech greatly angered Hitler, who ordered all copies of the speech destroyed.

Popen, however, decided to keep the fight going and threatened to tattle on Hitler to President von Hindenburg, who was very near the end of his life.

Remember, at this point, Hitler still technically has to answer to this old fossil who's hanging out in his country estate.

Yeah, and he's like kind of bad.

He's like dying right now.

Yeah, he's dying.

He's just sitting there like waiting for him to do anything.

Yeah.

He's very much dying.

Trying to head the crisis off himself.

Hitler went directly to Hindenburg in late June before von Poppen.

But Hitler was headed off by a general who told Hitler that if he couldn't get his SA shitheads under control, President Hindenburg was going to declare martial law and turn control of the country over to the military.

Hindenburg was no great Hitler fan.

He had to be turned to accept Hitler.

So in order to stay in power, Hitler had to do something big, something splashy.

And luckily for him, Heinrich Himmler already had a plan ready to go.

And this is another reason why Himmler is on the Mount Rushmore of evil, because he's the one who keeps Hitler there.

This is another turn.

This is another

swinging door point in history.

Like, you know, without Himmler, this is when Hitler goes.

Yeah, because

they're already about to kick him out.

And he understands it's, but it's amazing.

I said, I wonder how long he had the plan.

I wonder how long he thought about this idea that one day this is going to be the transition.

Months at least, if not longer.

It went smoothly, smoothly, right?

Yeah, you know?

Yeah.

Technically.

Yeah, it did exactly as it is intended.

Well, to push Hitler into action, Himmler and Göring allegedly concocted a pair of urgent messages on June 29th saying that the SA had assembled in Berlin and Munich to finally enact the coup d'état.

None of this was true, but these messages inspired Hitler to pull the trigger on the Nazi purge known as the Night of the Long Knives.

Swords.

Yeah.

Exactly.

Jake said the same thing earlier today.

Like,

isn't a long knife a sword?

It's a sword during the day, but the night is a long knife.

And I said, Mr.

Jungs, that sounds like a bit of a Jewish joke.

Yes.

Sounds like we need to have a bit of an investigation in the background.

I suppose considering now they'd known each other for over a decade, Hitler wanted to confront Ernst Rom himself on the night of the long knives.

On the night of the Great Purge, Hitler and Goebbels flew to a spa town where Rome was quote-unquote vacationing with his quote-unquote guards.

Hell yeah,

fucking blowjob weekend with the boys.

Oh, yeah.

Roman all over that spa town.

The Nazi is rocking.

He is ready to come.

Ready to shoot.

Who wants to see my long knife?

It looks like you lost some of the edge there.

A little bit of the tip must have fallen off.

But that fun weekend ended suddenly when Hitler burst into Rome's room at 2 a.m.

He arrested the guy Rome was in bed with and he began screaming at Rome for all of his supposed transgressions.

Every account talks about how much spittle was thrown and flicked while Hitler screamed at Rome.

Yeah.

Rome was then taken to a prison in Munich, where a pistol was left in his cell so he could, quote unquote, do the honorable thing.

Instead, Rome essentially said, fuck Hitler.

If he wants me dead, let him do it himself.

Hitler, of course, didn't do it.

I dare you.

Hitler, of course, didn't do it, and instead ordered two of Rome's own SA officers to murder him with their revolvers at point-blank range.

And that was the end of Ernst Rome.

Bye.

Had fun not smelling fits in hell.

Rome, however, was not even close to the only person killed that night.

The upper estimate of murder victims during the night of the long knives is around a thousand.

Jesus, yeah, I had no idea it was that many.

Well, I mean, that's the upper estimate because it's thought that like some Nazis may have settled personal scores that night as well.

Let's throw in a guy.

I don't like this name, I don't like this guy, let me kill him too in the midst of all this.

On the low end, they say 116 were officially confirmed.

But what's most likely is probably around four to five hundred.

But that's still four to five hundred people all killed in one night by Himmler's SS goons.

Isn't this kind of like a coup?

Yes.

Oh, yeah, it's the opposite.

It's kind of a reverse coup.

Yeah, it's

well, it's trying to prevent, it's like a preemptive strike.

Okay.

Let's say.

It's like when we went into America went into Iraq.

It's like, we think that they're planning on attacking us, so we're going to attack them before they attack us.

But just like Iraq,

they weren't planning any sort of coup.

It was just Himmler seeing a political opportunity, and he's seeing the opportunity to get rid of all these people all at once.

See, just amongst the SA, Himmler and Göring had 150 SA leaders rounded up and quickly executed by Himmler's SS and Gestapo firing squad.

But the Nazi SA were not the only ones on the enemy's list who were taken care of that night.

For instance, a squad of SS men visited the home of General Kurt von Schleicher, who had also helped Hitler into power, but had ultimately regretted his decision.

Did he say Oywe?

Yeah.

No, but

von Schleicher was also another shitty conservative.

Like, he was one of the ones that thought that they could control Hitler, useful idiot.

He was actually chancellor right before Hitler.

He's like, oh, let's let this Hitler guy do it.

He seems to have the ear of the people.

But he had, of course, in the time since, said, like, ah, this is a bad idea.

We got to get this Hitler guy out of here.

So when General von Schleicher opened his door that night, both he and his wife were immediately gunned down by Himmler's SS goons.

Other generals who opposed Hitler were killed the same way.

Gregor Strasser, one of the Strasser brothers, he was given a relatively dignified death, again, by firing squad, but they're taken care of, fucking everybody.

But surprisingly, Vice Chancellor Franz von Poppen was spared.

Yes, his secretary and two of his associates were killed.

And yes, the rest of his staff were sent to concentration camp.

But that's what they're there for.

There's no point in having them.

We're not going to use them.

But I suppose for Hitler, killing the number three man in government was probably going too far.

You could kill a former chancellor, but you couldn't kill the current vice chancellor.

He only ever did things not because he didn't want to.

You know what I mean?

Like, it's not that.

No, Hitler and all these guys.

Like, they would have absolutely killed him if they felt they needed to, but I guess they felt like it would bring too much heat I don't really understand how you can kill 400 to 500 other people in one night and then decide that guy's gonna cost us too much fucking and too much fucking grief it really depends on the size of the person yep you know it depends on how big they are

Well, instead, Poppin was made ambassador to Austria and shipped off where he could cause no more trouble.

And Hitler didn't really care about ambassador to Austria anyway, because in his mind, Austria was only a couple years away from being a part of Germany again.

Oh, yes.

These men, however, had it the easiest during the night of the long knives.

Hitler's true enemies were given brutal, showy deaths, and Hitler took this opportunity to settle long-standing scores.

For example, the man who had given the speech in the beer hall when Hitler attempted his failed coup a decade earlier, he was found in a swamp near Dachau, hacked to death by pickaxes, even though he'd long since retired from politics.

Seems like these guys really know how to hold it.

Seems to really hold a grudge.

Send a a message too.

Yeah.

Even former allies were killed.

They murdered the guy who helped edit Mein Kampf.

Oh, selling errors?

Yeah.

Don't you fucking tell me?

Zero, Zer, and Zer are gonna be however I spam them.

It's a whatever order I choose to spam them.

Meinstraggle, I sound like a bitch.

The old name as I'm young.

I like the young one.

It loses the context.

Just bring it down to my struggle.

None of you get anything.

And I do.

None of you appreciate my energy.

Well, the actual reason why Hitler had this man killed is because this guy was going around telling people that he knew the real reason why Hitler's lover and niece had died by suicide.

That's something you say?

Yeah, no, that's the thing.

You can't.

He's even getting rid of gossips.

And for that, this guy was found dead in a forest with his neck broken and three bullets in his heart.

There might have been something to that gossip.

Yeah.

The Knight of the Long Knives was so.

Yeah, that's the thing.

Sounds like there might have been something

that maybe Hitler actually did kill her.

Because that's one of the other theories is that Hitler flew into a rage one night and murdered her.

And they covered it up.

I don't know, Marcus.

It doesn't sound like him.

I can't even see him doing that.

Well, the Night of the Long Knives was so violent and reckless that some people actually ended up dying by accident.

A music critic for a Munich paper, for example, was taken away by SS men, and the critic's body was returned to his home four days later in a coffin.

This was highly confusing to his family, because the victim was not in any way political.

As it turned out, the critic simply had the same name as an SA leader who had been marked for death.

But the SA guy, he'd already been killed by another SS squad by the time the critic was murdered.

Honestly, I don't even, I'm not even that angry.

He only gave two stars to visits of arts.

He only gave two stars, and that's the fucking arts free of the steel.

Okay, says that Judy Collins, uninspired,

unfucking believable.

Just a camps.

And wrote oopsie strudel on his casket.

Now, even though the knight of the long knives was messy, it was ingeniously used by Hitler once he worked up the nerve.

See, at first, Hitler was terrified that he'd gone too far, and he spent days refusing to address the Reichstag.

But when he finally did go to the public, he fully admitted to ordering the murders of dozens of men, saying, It's my bad.

It's on me.

If you want to blame anyone, blame me.

I told them to do it.

But he said that he did it for the good of Germany.

It's like you hated the SA, right?

Were you scared of those guys?

Like, they sucked, you know?

So, you know what I did?

I did you all a favor, and I took care of them for you.

And everyone was like, in a while, wow, well, okay.

Holy shit.

Oh, my God.

Like, thank Christ we don't have to worry about all those Nazis anymore.

Yeah, like, maybe.

But the Nazis got rid of the Nazis.

Well, you broke this to me, and I had no idea because I thought that he came out and proudly proclaimed that we got rid of the communist threat.

I didn't realize that everyone thought that he had killed all the really bad Nazis and now there would only be the quote-unquote fake reasonable Nazis.

That's what won over the majority.

It's like the, what is it, the bomb.

You know, when they're talking, when you're talking about like negotiations, like tell someone something really bad and then bring it back.

Yeah.

And that's what Hitler did.

It's like, you know, make things really awful.

That's That's actually what a lot of these people do is you make things really awful in the country within the country itself.

You create chaos.

You create division.

You create it.

And so and everyone's looking around saying like, why is all this happening?

What's going on here?

And then you solve the problem that you created.

And then people go, oh my God, look at him.

He's so wonderful.

He solved all of our problems.

Like, no, he created the problems.

And then he murdered a bunch of people and did a bunch of illegal shit in order to take those problems away.

We would have been much better off if you never would have voted him in office in the first place.

I will say, it does that, it does remind me a lot of like, you know, like it's bad to do to a country, but it's an extremely good way to get out of a long-term dead relationship with the girl if you got to get out of there.

You just make it hostile, you make it bad in the relationship, and then she'll leave eventually.

Eventually, yeah.

Yeah, we all know that's the case.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

People don't stay in marriages for decades upon decades until death.

Yeah, just waiting.

Honestly, this can be used in that fact as well.

Like someone who beats somebody and then like beats them and beats them and beats them and then gives them an ice pack and said, oh, I've helped you get better.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Mine was more of a flight, the idea of like not going and being fun, not being fun on vacation.

Yeah.

That's what I mean.

And incredibly, it worked.

It worked fucking perfectly.

The German people breathed a sigh of relief.

We don't have to worry about the Nazis anymore.

Thank Christ.

And they were even more relieved when Hitler officially disbanded the SA.

They're like, smooth Salem from here on out.

We're going to finally get on track.

Things are going to finally start happening around here.

But little did the German people know that what Hitler was replacing the SA with

was far worse.

As a reward for a job well done with the Knight of the Long Knives, Hitler made the SS completely independent, with Himmler and Reinhard Heydrich leading it.

These two men were answerable to only Hitler himself.

And since Hitler was very lazy and didn't like to, I don't know, read briefings or go over shit, Heinrich Himmler pretty much had total freedom to carry out his most heinous policies.

From that point forward, Dachau was used as the model concentration camp for mass expansion, and nearly a hundred more would be established over the next five years.

Before the war even started, there were a hundred concentration camps in Germany.

Himmler, meanwhile, was as proud and as happy as he could be.

He had his 35th birthday party at Dachau.

Oh, goddamn.

Do you think that there's, do you get like free pizza?

Well, they did, actually.

Gudrun was talking about the gifts that she got when she went there and stuff like that.

Yeah, how much he loved Dachau.

Again, if you see Zone of Interest,

they try to make it real comfortable.

Yeah, those kids had a great time.

Until, of course, the jawbones start floating down the river when you're having a nice schwim.

Himmler's ultimate vision, however, was not just about extermination, it was also about the creation of Germany's own myth, a Nazi religion.

Yay!

And it's with the links that Himmler went to in order to establish that religion that we'll return next week with all of the horrific things that happened as a result.

That's where I get to talk a lot.

Yeah.

Excited to start talking about that.

Weibelsberg.

I got to visit.

Yeah, you can.

I want to go.

It's open.

Weibelsberg?

Webelsberg.

It's right here.

Oh, nay, buddy,

we'll get into Webelsberg next week.

The Anna Nerbe, the expeditions, the, you know,

all of Himmler's wonderful, wonderful ideas and how they shaped Germany over basically the next five years in the lead-up to war.

So I hope you guys enjoyed that laugh a minute.

An episode of the Last Podcast of the Life.

We're coming coming back next week with a little bit more Himmler.

But until then, you go to patreon.com slash LastPodcast on the Left and you can watch us yak and chop it up about Himmler for the rest of your life.

LP on the Left for all the socials.

And you're going to YouTube for all the other rest of the horse shit someplace underneath.

LPN Romanticy, The Foreign Report, No Dogs in Space, and LPN TV.

Look out for, we have several gigantic announcements coming.

You're going to have, I'm just going to just say, tease that there might be a second season of hoopagoo on the scene.

Yeah.

And it might be coursing over the horizon very, very soon.

We better start making it.

And there's another thing out.

And so, just so you know, we got a lot of stuff coming out of the Laugh Factory.

And we want to say thank you

for everything you've for everything you've given over the years.

And if you want to watch this podcast video form, go to patreon.com/slash last podcast on the left, where you can also watch our stream every Tuesday at 6 p.m.

PST.

You can watch it live and actually interact on the chat and say, and you can tell us things.

And Henry might read them.

I do.

If they're funny.

If they're funny enough to get past the screenings.

Yeah, if they're funny enough to get past Gurney, they get to me.

And then lastpodcast on the left.com, we have a bunch of new dates.

Yeah, we do.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, next week we're going to be in Oakland.

Come out.

That's going to be a fucking shit ton of fun.

I can't wait for Oakland.

I never got to party there.

I'm very excited to go to the Fox Theater.

It's truly a beautiful theater.

Awesome city.

Yeah, it's going to be October 25th.

That's next week.

And then, also, of course, Akron, Ohio, not Cleveland, on November 29th.

We're going to be at the Goodyear Theater.

And then Portland on December 30th.

Again, remember that Cleveland.

Remember that Cleveland?

You're fucked.

You're going to Akron.

Everybody loves Akron.

It's your own fault.

The craps.

Yeah.

That's where the craps are from.

That's right.

And tickets are now available for all our 2026 dates.

We got January 31st, Philadelphia.

February 28th, Austin, Texas.

March 13th, Indianapolis.

April 25th, Cincinnati, Ohio.

The Taft feeder.

Oh, it's such a fat feeder.

And then we got May 29th, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

June 27th, Grand Rapids, Michigan.

July 17th, Tulsa, Oklahoma.

And July 18th, Oklahoma City.

And you know where that is?

Oklahoma.

Yep, and I can't wait.

I can't wait to be there because we're going to go down to those honky tongs just like we did the last time, Marcus, and we're going to start a fight with a a couple of cowboys.

I think I'm just gonna hang out.

I think I'm gonna hang out with my buddy Tommy this time.

Nah, dude, we went out.

Marcus got we almost got into a bit of a dust step.

Oh, well, I'm gonna go and I'm gonna kiss them all.

Yeah, dude.

I'm a roam them.

Yeah, I'm a roam.

All of these Oklahomers.

We're gonna suck you, cowboys, till you're fun.

Oklahome, you know what I'm saying.

I just want to hang out with Tommy.

Yeah, we're gonna suck him.

We're gonna fuck our way through OKC.

So see you there.

And we're starting with Tommy.

Hail Satan, everyone.

Okay.

Hail Joseph Hardinger.

Also know that Heinrich Himmler's birthday was October 7th.

That makes you feel like anything.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's nice.

That's interesting.

So happy birthday.

It's not his birthday.

He's dead.

When did he die?

That's the day I want to celebrate.

Not soon enough.

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Now, back to your regularly scheduled listening.

Hey, listeners.

Marcus Eden Henry here.

It's a little bit of an announcement.

You loving all the episodes of last podcast on the left lately?

Well, listen, now you can get even more from us.

Squeeze it out of us.

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Do it.