Side Stories: The Haunting of Ed Larson

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Speaker 1 This is the last podcast on the left.

Speaker 1 Side stories?

Speaker 1 That's when the cannibalism started.

Speaker 1 Side stories. Yes.

Speaker 1 Rob was just explaining to us how he spent his hard-earned money.

Speaker 1 The money he sweats over. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Fights. I don't know if he sweats.
Fights every day for

Speaker 1 hard, but I don't know if he sweats. It gets hot.
It gets weird in here. He's trying to show me some sweat.
It gets hot in here. Yeah.
He bought a pumpkin

Speaker 1 that was the officially licensed Halloween pumpkin. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Was this it? Yep. Can I see it?

Speaker 1 Honestly, when you were talking.

Speaker 1 You know, it's weird because you say that and I think of, I'm going to see Mike Myers' face. No.
But it's the Halloween pumpkin. It's just the pumpkin.
This is good, though. You mad at him about this?

Speaker 1 No. I'm actually super impressed.
I think this is a great purchase. How much was this? $32.
$32.

Speaker 1 Not bad. Did it come with the candle? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hey, that's fine. Now you're making money.
Hey, I think this is good. I am a full supporter of seasonal merch.
You know what?

Speaker 1 We got that was one of the more interesting gifts from the wonderful crowd that we just performed in front of in Humboldt County was someone.

Speaker 1 Yes. But it was just a herpes of the thought.

Speaker 1 And that is what I have currently.

Speaker 1 But someone brought us little vials filled with the ground up bricks from the factory, from the

Speaker 1 Silver Shamrock. Silver Shamrock Factory.

Speaker 1 They filmed it right around where we were in Redway, California. Halloween 3,

Speaker 1 the actual novelty factory in that film. When it broke down, these guys,

Speaker 1 like a lot of our listeners, some of the coolest fucking dudes in the world, they decided that they wanted to go and make little monuments out of what was left of that factory.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so they went and they smashed up the brick and they put it in the little vials for us. And so now we got a little bit of the Halloween 3 factory.
So fucking cool. Yeah, I love it.

Speaker 1 I told Julie and then

Speaker 1 I don't even know if she had a response. No.
Like it was like just blank, just like, when can I start talking about what we need to do? Sure, yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, and I was like, but the factory, the factory. But I got this new vial.

Speaker 1 I got the factory vial. Take a look at all these dabs I got.
Aren't you happy, Julie? Are you happy about the dabs? And then she's like, the backyard needs work.

Speaker 1 And you're like, you could go move these rocks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm right there, fucking man. I'm moving rocks here myself, man.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Side Stories. I'm Henry Zabrowski.
I'm here with the extremely spooky Ed Larson. Boogity Moo!

Speaker 1 Boogity Boogie Boogie Moo. Boogity Moo.
Boogie Moo. Yes.
We had a great time in Humboldt. Wow, did you? That is a spooky place, though.

Speaker 1 You know, spooky slash, is it it the place that's spooky or is it the people? But it's one. It's like, oh, it's always misty.

Speaker 1 I love it. You drive through all the redwoods and you see all the mist.
And they talk. We were in like this incredible house with all of these sweet, sweet weed fathers.

Speaker 1 And they were explaining to us about how the mist has to move in certain ways. And that's how they catch certain pockets of moisture for their very special, very, very special nuggets.

Speaker 1 And you're just like, damn, man. Are y'all ants? But yeah, but when it comes down to it, we did meet some ants, and you just don't want to know who they voted for.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Ents is Christ. Yeah, the um, uh, but thank you.
Special shout out to Huckleberry Hill Farms with John, and Savage Farms, Jerry, and Canada Country, Teddy. You guys hooked us up.
We love you so much.

Speaker 1 Can't wait to come back and party with you and just like find your bullshit in these other California weed stores and buy the fucking shit out of it.

Speaker 1 People need to go to Humboldt directly and buy weed. Yeah, it's honestly, it is

Speaker 1 like, it's Solvang. It's Napa for weed.
It's amazing. It's so good.
Yes. I love that place.
And guess what it was perfect for? What?

Speaker 1 To help me with the pulled muscle I currently have in my back because I wanted to do the funny bit of sucking my own dick on stage. Hey, spoiler alert.
Yep. And I

Speaker 1 now can barely move. So thank you to that weed for me being present today.
We have to have your penis longated or your lips elongated. One of the others so we can actually get there.
The penis? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You don't want to have protruding lips?

Speaker 1 I don't think there's a lot of give. No.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I feel like with my penis, we could find some.

Speaker 1 What if you, all right, what if you sucked on a fleshlight and then fucked yourself with that? Whoa, I'm making a prolapse. Yeah, yeah.
So prolapse

Speaker 1 with my mouth. So you're deep throating the back of a fleshlight and then you're taking the front of it and you're fucking yourself with that.
How's this helping my back?

Speaker 1 This is what you know when it comes down to it. I don't know how it's gonna help my back.
I think it's for future performances. Yeah, let's try it.
Yeah, let's try it. But this is what I do for you.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. This is what I do for you.
And I'm out here, but now I'm dressed like for those of you who can't see the show, I'm dressed like a chili pepper. Yes.
Because it's our Halloween episode.

Speaker 1 I'm beer. Eddie's a glass of beer.
I'm a glass of beer. And that's the most frightening thing to him because he can't have complex carbs anymore.
Well, I can have them. I just, you know, get sick.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And me, same thing. This is scary for me.

Speaker 1 because acid reflux yeah so as i'm a pepper this is actually one of the scariest entities i could be to myself yeah yeah look face your fears folks face your fears face your beers drink your peppers drink your peppers face your beers beat the shit out of a nazi like that guy in athens georgia that was walking around in an ss uniform you guys got

Speaker 1 him up they led him on a woman guys you guys led him off too early you too easy you guys should have been beating the living shit out of him before the second you even saw him all right yeah remember that All right.

Speaker 1 This season, this Halloween season, this Friday night, if you see a single person in an SS uniform, you have Henry Zabrowski's permission to paralyze them. Wow.

Speaker 1 Yep. You can absolutely attack them.
So you go and you get them if you could. Man, imagine like, because it was like, I mean, it's kind of hard to say, but it was a really nice.
SS uniform.

Speaker 1 It was classy. It reminded me of it.

Speaker 1 It was like he spent some coin on that fucking thing. And that means get his blood on it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Because it had to have been at least like, I mean, full

Speaker 1 everything.

Speaker 1 It looks like Hugo Boss. What's his name? He's like, I want to know.
I want to read his name. Yes.
What is his name? Okay, Kenneth Leland Morgan. Don't hire him.
Yeah, Kenneth Leland Morgan is enough.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Go get him. Thank you.
Tell him he sent you. And I got to say, the people at Cutter's pub in

Speaker 1 Athens, step up your your bullshit. Yep.
You got to beat the shit out of these guys. But that's not the only spooky stuff we're covering today.

Speaker 1 Oh, I feel like we're moving past something that needs to be talked about. Please.

Speaker 1 Henry, we dressed up

Speaker 1 for the Humboldt show. Yes.
Henry was plus-size Edward Scissor hand. Yes, I was.
And it was kind of the greatest thing I ever saw. I just feel.
Your clothes were just slowly coming off.

Speaker 1 I had to redress Henry on stage multiple times. It's disgusting.

Speaker 1 It was filled with my sweat. It was absolutely like literally, I had to empty out my shoes.
Oh, that's how they liquid poured out of my shoes. God, how did you sweat that much?

Speaker 1 It's because it was pure pleather. I got a good one.
I got a good plus-size Edward Scissor hands costume. It was.
I went to HalloweenCostumes.com. Wow.
They're friends of the show. They are.

Speaker 1 They sent me a free Teen Wolf outfit. Thank you, by the way.
I paid full price. I did not.
But I wanted to experience it. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 But I bought a very fancy plus-size Edward Scissor hands costume, which is funny as it is. Just that sentence cracks me up.
And so I was like, oh, I'm locked in. I bought this.
And guess what?

Speaker 1 It made it difficult to perform. That also was the bit.
Yeah, you couldn't hold the microphone. You were destroying your beers with your scissor hands.
It was so much fun. It was a blast.

Speaker 1 We got to go. Henry's pants.
were falling down, but the funny part about it was his underwear fell down inside of the pants. That's common.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it also happened to me entering the upcoming Hoopago Goo Season 2. HGX 2.
That a lot of my performance in that as well involves my underwear falling down inside of the thing that I'm wearing.

Speaker 1 We'll see if it makes the cut. We'll see.
Yeah. Because to be honest, it happens to be a lot.
Yeah, I said that Henry looks like Edward Scissor Hands played by Johnny Buka DeDepo. Very funny.

Speaker 1 Buka DeDepo. Very, very good.

Speaker 1 Guys, I want to know. Side stories L-P-O-T-L at gmail.com.

Speaker 1 Does anybody else, because I really feel like I'm the only person that deals with this on a regular basis of my underwear falling down within my pants yeah that is something that that is a you problem i have never been this has happened multiple times i'd say it's happened at least 12 times since i've known you you're losing weight maybe it happens when i'm fatter too it happens at every size and rob tried rob tried seriously no rob because i thought i literally thought oh when i lose weight the problem will stop and it doesn't ever no matter what size i am my pants be falling down do they make suspenders for underwear did Natalie says starting to give me permission for that I'm gonna start top sticking them I think you could look good in suspenders well this is the issue is that I need to figure out this transitional period yeah before I become Stanton Friedman the ufologist yeah before I have to find how many pieces of flare are you gonna put on your suspenders?

Speaker 1 I mean, mostly just going to be a lot of really questionable looking runes.

Speaker 1 Because that's what I'm saying. Oh, are these good non-folly down underpants? Don't do this, Rob.
You fucking don't do this.

Speaker 1 I'm wearing what could possibly be any different than the underwear I'm currently wearing. I'm wearing Tommy Johns.
Mike Quince underwear stays up. I'll tell you that much.

Speaker 1 That's a good plug. That's a great plug.
You're also differently shaped. I am.

Speaker 1 I am. Side stories L-P-O-T-L at gmail.com.
Yes.

Speaker 1 If you could, please help me because it's just been so hard on my family, and it's going to be extremely hard when we have to form individual militias. And you think you can't tuck it into your folds?

Speaker 1 The folds are what's pushing them.

Speaker 1 And also, the fold just sucks it up. That's okay.
The other issue is that when I do put it under my belly, is that this is true. This is great, radio.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Is that my body begins to eat my underwear from up? So then you give yourself a wedging and my balls become all bunched up. Man, so like even your body thinks you're a nerd.

Speaker 1 I don't, I am cooler than this.

Speaker 1 All right. I'm cooler than this.
I work hard. There has to be a reason and there has to be a fix.
SidestoriesLPOTL at gmail.com.

Speaker 1 If I have to meet with an engineer, if you're an engineer in the clothing industry and you want to work with me, side stories, LPOTL at gmail.com to make a standing up underwear for the egg-shaped man, I know that there are other men like me out here.

Speaker 1 Maybe a woman. There's probably a woman whose panties slide down inside of her fucking skirt, but I haven't seen that yet.
And you have that side store is L-P-O-T-L at gmail.com and send proof.

Speaker 1 Someone has to help, Henry. You're going to have to see, you're going to have to see him, you know, if you're doing this, because you're going to get in there.

Speaker 1 We're going to have to try out different underwears. Oh, yeah, no, you're going to have...
No, I need a trusted advisor. Yeah.
I need someone who builds bridges.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Yeah. I need someone who brings, like, who builds...
Medical gear. No, Rob.

Speaker 1 These are disgusting. I could see that.
You're looking at bikini briefs.

Speaker 1 My father wore bikini briefs a jock strap That's what you need just a strap I am not a successful homosexual man in Berkeley California I don't want to wear jeans and say jockey That's somebody who rides something Yeah,

Speaker 1 and I don't need to do it Wow, look at the gutters on that fucker.

Speaker 1 No, I know this guy's got the you think that looks like that on everybody's fucking man thongs He is pushing his penis inside of himself. He looks like he's in an American apparel ad.

Speaker 1 God, how much pubic care do they have in this ad? Well, it's because it's to show he's a man. Wow.
To show he's a legitimate man. That's crazy.
That's like a wean cover. It is.
It does look like

Speaker 1 a Serge Gainsborg liner notes.

Speaker 1 I hate

Speaker 1 Jocke. This is what the guys in Guar wear.
No, I bet. Oh, I bet they hate it.
Oh, hey, Rob got killed by Grar. Rob got murdered by Guar this week.
That's right.

Speaker 1 He didn't come smoke weed with us so he can get killed by Guar. And how was it? It was really fun.
Yeah, it was really fun. So what happened?

Speaker 1 Like, to explain the experience, did you have like a bunch of, did they give you like a blood packet? No, so they're like, all right, listen, you just got to go with the flow.

Speaker 1 We're going to take you out there. We're going to slit your throat.
We got some blood bags. We're going to pop them.
Just don't fall down. All right.
Don't fall down. That was it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then all of a sudden, I was out there with the fucking lights on me and they were slitting my throat. And man, I can cross that off the list.

Speaker 1 So fucking tough. I didn't even know that was on the list, but that is now on the list for me.
I want to be killed by Guar so bad. It's interesting they say don't fall down.

Speaker 1 I imagine some guys like just get stay there the whole time because they think it's funny.

Speaker 1 I do think that that is what happens if you fall down, then everyone's you've got to figure out how to deal with you. Yeah, um, hold for one second.
You got some schmutz on your mustache there,

Speaker 1 and it's gone. Good job, it's gone.
You got it, you can stop licking your lips.

Speaker 1 All right, just keep doing it.

Speaker 1 It was liquid shit. Are you enjoying the jockey? Ha ha ha ha.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

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Speaker 1 That's a reason for the season, Eddie. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Spooky time, man.

Speaker 1 We wanted to spend today trying to get a little bit spooky because obviously, right now, on last podcast and left, we are fucking locked in

Speaker 1 to this never-ending march to the end of World War II. It is coming.
This is the last episode. We've already said it's the last episode.

Speaker 1 Even if it doesn't matter, like if it's not the last episode, it's the last episode. We're going to be the last episode.
This is it. You're squeezing in the entire war in this episode.

Speaker 1 The Nazis ruined Halloween this year. This year, they did.
They took one more thing from us, and we didn't even know they were taking it until Halloween was over. But and they got to keep it somehow.

Speaker 1 We had a bit of a second because we had a bit of a schedule push-up along the way, and this is where we're at. But we wanted to bring some

Speaker 1 does look like a pumpkin, kind of. He does.

Speaker 1 I could say he looks like you look like Ichabod Crane. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Unless Jewish. Oh, of course.
Is there Ichabod Crane was Jewish? I don't think so. I thought he changed it from Kronshkershka.
I don't think Ichabod Crane was Jewish because it was like pilgrim times.

Speaker 1 I don't know how many Jews we had back then. I think we had like four.
Yeah. The traitors.
What does it say? No, Ichabod Crane is not Jewish. Of course he's not.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's too early for Jews. I was just having fun.
That was also fictional. Yeah, no, I know.

Speaker 1 You can make anybody Jewish. You can make anybody black, too, right? Ichabod Crane was black.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. I remember when he was black.
Yeah, sure, right? That could be fun. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Now, this is, but we wanted to get spooky.

Speaker 1 Because with the Nazi series, like, yes, the Einstats grouping, they're pretty, like, it's chilling and nauseating, but it doesn't give you creepy chain noises vibes. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 It's just brutal and upsetting. Yeah, that's the whole thing is everybody's upset, right? Like, when I...
I feel like this happens every October.

Speaker 1 Well, because you know what it is, is that the audience sometimes, they do want paranormal, but they don't really like paranormal. But this time, we're going to see how it goes.

Speaker 1 So we're going to be covering up some other stuff later on. But today, I think we have some stories stories we wanted to share.
And I don't know whether or not we want to start

Speaker 1 with your stories, Eddie. Yeah, well, you know, I guess we could.
It's just, you know, I have like weird things that have happened to me.

Speaker 1 I find it funny because I don't know if the audience completely knows because we did this in the very, very long time. It was like the fifth episode.
Oh, last podcast. I came and told some stories.

Speaker 1 Yes. And so it's been a really long time.
Do you remember that, Rob?

Speaker 1 No, right? Yeah, I don't even think it's available no i don't think so i don't think so i think it's like in the lost like last podcast

Speaker 1 yeah yeah

Speaker 1 so but this these stories because we're gonna read some of the the stories you guys sent in but eddie has never really went through in detail what he went through

Speaker 1 on this show and i thought this would be a really good might as well this is a good time we have never really done it we've never we've never expressed these before so i've had like five separate experiences that i can't explain.

Speaker 1 And you've never, you don't believe in ghosts, technically. I think it's stupid, but I can't explain this shit.
And so there's that too.

Speaker 1 I mean, if someone could show me a point where it's like, yeah, you saw ghosts or whatever, I'd believe it. You know, like if someone could prove it to me, but I don't think there is any proof.

Speaker 1 Personally, I think that when we die, we become dirt. Cool.
I think we're trash. I think our body becomes trash and we throw out our trash.
I don't think there's anything romantic about it.

Speaker 1 I think our body, you know, people like get upset.

Speaker 1 I personally, you want to my dead body as long as julie's cool with it i mean technically it's hers once you die it's your spouse's body i guess i think so she can it yeah she can it she can give it away yeah she can do whatever she wants to do side source lpotl gmail.com if you want to put in one of those applications yeah for ed's dead body yeah you're because i'm Julie's obviously outliving me.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, there's, I don't think there's any question about it.
It's just about whether or not she wants your body to go on tour or not for work.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, I do, my first thing I want to do is give my body to the bodies exhibit. Oh, that'd be awesome.
I think that's like where you need me.

Speaker 1 Just you with that, you with all of your skin off with the blunt in your mouth with the record player next to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and a microphone in front of my face, just big fat bodies.

Speaker 1 American podcast. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yes. I think that would be great.
I want you to be, I want it to cost $60 to come pay your fucking, you know, your dues to me. Look at his balls.

Speaker 1 Wow, did they add to this balls?

Speaker 1 The people running it come by. You're like, no.

Speaker 1 No, he's our finest specimen.

Speaker 1 But let's, now, before we start today. I don't know where to start.
Well, let's first say, let's get into a spooky mood. Okay.
So let's say you're at work right now. Go shut off all the lights.

Speaker 1 All right. Yeah.
While everybody's working. Fuck with work.
Fuck with your job.

Speaker 1 These bitches. Yeah, take all the food out of the fridge and let it start rotting until there's like a stinky smell.
Like the grave. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Hide it.

Speaker 1 Go into the bathroom. If you hide a bunch of meat under the fridge, no one's going to find that.
You want to know a fun trickster trick? Okay. Open up a tuna can

Speaker 1 and leave that under something. Wow.
Because then it just goes and goes and goes. Go and your boss is shitting.

Speaker 1 Bang on the doors while he's shitting and say, it's a ghost in here. There's a ghost.
Yeah, I know. Do that.
Oh, no, it's really good. Take all your shoes off.

Speaker 1 So if it's bare feet, that'll really freak him out. The only thing he sees is bare feet.
Yeah, you go, there's a ghost in here. Mr.
Sanderson. Oh, yeah, use an accent, too.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 are ghost hottiards. Oh,

Speaker 1 that's our ghost hot, Mr. Johnny.
Oh, Mr. Sanderson.
Come on, go and you fucking. This is this is the time.
So you're gonna get spooky. And then, you know, what's also super sneaky? Your feet gray.

Speaker 1 Yes. And fucking smoke a bunch of like stuff out of a light bulb, right? And then put your hand

Speaker 1 over a flashlight. Yeah.
And look at all your bones through your hand. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But make sure that you're not sticking the light bulb into your hand. No, because that's going to hurt.

Speaker 1 You're going to bleed. All right.
So mix all that together and smoke some weed. And you're just about to get nervous enough to be scared by Ed's story.
I think you should start from the first story.

Speaker 1 From the first story? All right. So,

Speaker 1 basically. Set the scene.
All right. Linden, New Jersey, which is a town right next to Elizabeth.

Speaker 1 It's an old town. It's been around forever.
The houses are, you know, they're all like those two-story houses with like the, you know, the cold room and and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 And so this house we always knew was fucked up. My aunt Patty always saw shit.
My mom always kind of saw stuff. My grandmother always kind of saw stuff.

Speaker 1 And I don't know if the audience doesn't have Italian-American family. We're Polish-Ukrainian.
But they don't have any Italian in them. We have no Italian.

Speaker 1 Because we have the Sicilian witches in our family. Oh, okay.
Because my mom is like, she's put mashed together her own sort of proprietary version of Catholicism that also features witchcraft.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think the Northeast just just kind of has it. Yeah, you know, it's so old, and so many people have just been murdered, and there's so many other different problems up there.

Speaker 1 And they've all been molested. Every woman or mother's age got fucking tossed back and forth between every single authority figure they ever knew.

Speaker 1 Yeah, don't bring it up because if they don't remember, they're almost dead. You know, let them just die and not remember.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But anyway, so

Speaker 1 Linden, New Jersey, they had this like tall, it was like a it was like a three-story, like four-bedroom house.

Speaker 1 And there's a lot of like gangsters around there, a lot of Italian mafia, a lot of, you know, stuff like that. Old school gangsters.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And there was, in their house, there was always like weird shit would happen. They would send me up there.
I used to summer in Elizabeth, as I used to say.

Speaker 1 And my parents would send me up there for three weeks so they can go have fun down

Speaker 1 in Florida and stuff like that. But they had one of those things that was like, you know,

Speaker 1 you press the button, the intercom, and you can talk to everyone in the house. And I'd be alone in this house, also at like six, you know, they just leave me alone.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's old school.

Speaker 1 This is back in the day,

Speaker 1 our parents didn't really care as much about kids as they do now. Yeah, no, it's weird.
But occasionally you would just hear like breathing. Sure.
Through the, through the, through the thing.

Speaker 1 And that would always be really freaky. And that wasn't just you snoring while you were awake.
No, no, this is a child. I don't think I snored yet.
You know, it was one of those.

Speaker 1 And so it's just like, you would always hear breathing through there. And that was always really weird.
And then my aunt would say, you know, there's somebody in the middle room.

Speaker 1 And I thought she was just fucking with me, you know, because the middle room is where I used to sleep. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's like your aunt is torturing you. Yes.
So lots of times we'd like, there was lots of different like ghosts in the house.

Speaker 1 And I don't know like how much of this was my family or not, but several times it would feel like I was being held down in that bed in the middle room.

Speaker 1 Like it would just feel like somebody was holding me down and I couldn't get up.

Speaker 1 And so, to the point where that room scared the hell out of me so much that I used to sleep in my cousin's bed all the time. And like my cousin Christy, she was super cool.

Speaker 1 And she was like, she understood that it was like creepy in there. But the thing is, they had like a loft area.
And then next to the loft area was like an attic area.

Speaker 1 And then in the attic area, occasionally, like inside the attic, the light would just come on. Oh, God.
And it would just like the light would just come on.

Speaker 1 And then we'd open it and then then we'd turn it off, and then like we'd wake up in the middle of the night, and the light would be on again, and stuff like that. And but also, I have to say,

Speaker 1 my uncle and aunt enjoy fucking with you. This does sound like they do like they do, so I think some of it is them fucking with us, and like, but a lot of it was not explained.

Speaker 1 And eventually, my aunt had a medium come through the house, and she's like, This place is fucked, yeah. And if they're in New Jersey, obviously, most of the time, they're an extra large.

Speaker 1 Yeah, continue.

Speaker 1 So, I didn't actually ever see or hear this, but my cousins would talk about how they would hear little kids sometimes in that attic. Like, and then

Speaker 1 exactly, like fun to play with little kids and shit. And I never heard this, but we talked about it a bunch and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 Time goes on, and this house, you know, there's always lots of unanswered questions. And eventually, my uncle, who is blind, deaf, mentally challenged,

Speaker 1 he moves into that middle room because he needs somewhere to stay for a while. And occasionally, I would go over there and

Speaker 1 he would just be screaming. And we would be like, oh, Uncle Eddie.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And we would just be like, oh, he's just screaming and stuff.
But then

Speaker 1 after the medium came, they were like, that room's haunted. And so we're like, oh, okay.
So maybe Uncle Eddie was being tortured and we have no idea. He's just blind, deaf.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 To be tortured by ghosts all the fucking day long. I mean,

Speaker 1 I don't mean to laugh. No, no, I mean, you can laugh.
It's a comedy podcast.

Speaker 1 But yeah, and so that middle room was like really fucked up. And then eventually my mom went and stayed up there and stayed in the middle room.
And she was like, it was the middle of the night.

Speaker 1 And she went to go like to the kitchen downstairs to get a glass of water.

Speaker 1 Something pushed her down the stairs. Yes, she says this.

Speaker 1 And I remember your mom talking about being physically attacked

Speaker 1 by this ghost she yeah she knows i mean she's like i i've fallen before i was pushed and she fell down the stairs she broke her nose she sprained her wrist and all that shit it was pretty bad you know bad things happened you know but it turns out once the medium came into that place we found out that he was hiding something in that middle room and man's name was vito and he had run into problems with the mafia oh yeah that that's kind of the idea so people going in there he's trying to like this idea that it's they're trying to chase people out of the room.

Speaker 1 But what they claimed was and that Vito and his children were killed by the mafia because he was like stealing money. Cool.

Speaker 1 And so of course, you know, they try to like find stuff, but there was nothing to find. I think that he was keeping something safe that wasn't there anymore.

Speaker 1 That's like one of those two things that I've always been wondering about is if they're

Speaker 1 why do I never really hear about mafioso ghosts? And why do I never hear about Nazi ghosts? Because that's like one of those things I never understood about Berlin. Maybe they went to hell.

Speaker 1 I mean, but if there is a hell, I find it very interesting that they took all of these old school Nazi offices in Berlin and places where people were tortured and investigated and all this kind of shit and turned them into like kindergartens and like Hallmark stores and pharmacy.

Speaker 1 Like they just retroactively turned them into other things. Are concentration camps said to be haunted?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I know that the Grey Kirks, the Greyfriar, the Grey Friar

Speaker 1 Cemetery in Edinburgh also was an outdoor concentration camp. Okay.
And that's wildly haunted. Well, that makes sense to me because I always felt like cemeteries aren't haunted.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I feel like that's where people go to rest. Yeah, they're dead somewhere else.
If anywhere, the hospital's haunted. If you die at the cemetery,

Speaker 1 you'd haunt the cemetery. Yeah.
So that's like the beginning layer of all this. Yeah, that's like the backstory of this particular story, you know, and then so years pass.

Speaker 1 My aunt moves out of the house. They move down to Toms River, you know, and like, and my little, my cousin had a child up there and stuff like that.
And they moved out when she was three.

Speaker 1 And, you know, fast forward, it's like three years after that. The kid's like six now.
We've never told the stories to this child, you know?

Speaker 1 And we're all out to lunch at TGI Fridays one day and we're talking about the house and whatnot. And then my little cousin was like, I miss missed the children that I used to play with there.

Speaker 1 And we're like, what are you talking about? And she's like, the kids that lived upstairs. I missed them.
They were so much fun. We used to play together.
This is like a six-year-old.

Speaker 1 I am talking to us. Shut the fuck up.
Yeah. And we're like, what do you, what do you mean? What kids did you play with? And she's like, there was a boy and a girl.
And we used to play all the time.

Speaker 1 And they were so nice. And we were both, we were all just like frozen.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
And so, like, that was like, I didn't believe any of it until that moment. Because

Speaker 1 I thought like my mom fell i thought that my uncle was crazy

Speaker 1 i thought that i like was making shit up in my head because i was a child and your mom and i your mom and my moms were very similar in terms of that they're a bit of a what you'd call an exaggerator yeah at times they're a bit of a storyteller at times but there's something about that the way your mom always told that story was always like genuinely frightened.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was fucking terrifying. So that's the, that's like.
That's the Jersey stuff. But we had a lot of Florida things happen to us as well.

Speaker 1 There's one story that you've told that is legitimately one of the most frightening stories. Besides, the, you have told the story about the mysterious call before.
I did that on stage.

Speaker 1 I'll tell that right now. Yes.
So this is the last part of the Jersey thing, I guess. So my mom dies

Speaker 1 July 19th, 2016. And her twin brother, Uncle Eddie, who I was talking about earlier, he died on July 19th, 2019.
Same day as my mom. Random, it was too hot and he overheated.

Speaker 1 They didn't have air conditioning and he kind of died in his sleep. They were, you know, they weren't well off.
And

Speaker 1 but the thing that makes this so weird, other than the fact that they were twins and died on the same day, three years apart, which is already fucking weird, my aunt Patty gets a phone call.

Speaker 1 And she looks at her cell phone and it says that my mom is calling her. My mom's been dead for three years.
So, and it's the date that my mom died. You know, it's all very weird, you know?

Speaker 1 And so she gets a call. She looks in the ID says my mom.
She picks up the phone, and it's the fucking morgue telling her that her fucking brother is in the morgue. That's just so fucking scary.

Speaker 1 It's so strange. And it's just so weird.
I'm sure it's like some fucking weird glitch on the phone or whatever, but like that's. That is, that's a wild glitch, man.
That is a wilderness.

Speaker 1 That is a very wild glitch. Yes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But that's kind of like in the when people talk about the subtleness of paranormal experiences, I feel like that's really such an important moment because it is like that.

Speaker 1 Because, yes, kind of like the breathing through the intercoms and lights, because there's a little bit of, maybe I'm just, maybe it's electrical. Maybe it's just something.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But that is so fucking pointed. Yeah.
Why would the number, the number already belong to a different person? It's a little bit more.

Speaker 1 You know, like they live town, they lived like counties away, you know, like, and so it's like, that was just so bizarre that that all shook down like that. That makes me one chilled out chili pepper.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 full of seeds. There was another time in Florida that we were leaving a Boy Scout event.
And my Catholic school, St. John Barre Catholic School, was right next to a graveyard.

Speaker 1 We used to literally like watch people get buried during class. So much fun.
And so it was just so ridiculous. Did you, did that freak you out as a kid, or did you think it was kind of fun?

Speaker 1 I found it to be kind of fun. Yeah.
To be honest with you. Oh, yeah.
I had the same. I used to go look at them, dig graves.
Yeah, I was never freaked out by cemeteries. No, not once.

Speaker 1 It kind of made me sad, but like never, I was never freaked out. Well, for a while, I did get in the thing.
You know, you'll get very superstitious as a kid.

Speaker 1 I got hit all the time, the idea of like holding your breath as

Speaker 1 you drive past. a cemetery.
Oh, really? You ever heard that? I have heard it, but I've never done it or anything. As a kid, now, now, apparently I was diagnosed with OCD, but that made me

Speaker 1 frighten, and I used to do it religiously. Yeah.
The same thing with like the mirrors with Bloody Mary. I kept like

Speaker 1 scare me. But I just assumed I'd do it against my will.
Oh, yeah. But, you know,

Speaker 1 it is your will. Yep.
And it's not real. So we're leaving Cub Scouts one night.
And my dad's driving. My mom's in the front seat.
I'm in the back seat. And we're leaving.

Speaker 1 And we see this, like, we're going past the cemetery. And me and my mom, we see this like shadowy blue figure in the middle of the road.

Speaker 1 And we're like, hey, my mom's like, Jerry, there's someone in the road. And then he's like, what are you talking about? There's no one in the road.
And then I'm like, dad, there's someone on the road.

Speaker 1 You know, my mom's like, there's someone in the road. Stop the car.
We're like, stop, stop, stop. And he drives through this blue figure.

Speaker 1 And he like drives like through it. And he sees nothing.
And me and my mom are like, what the fuck? You just hit somebody. We stop.
We get out. We look around.
There's nothing there.

Speaker 1 It doesn't make any sense. There's no one there.
Me and my mom just saw it. My dad's dad's like, you're all fucking idiots.
We get in the car.

Speaker 1 And then all of a sudden, once we get in the car, all of the locks in the car start going up and down like a spasm, like just start going crazy and like a spasm, like crazy shit.

Speaker 1 This shit's real, guys. Yeah.
This story is real. Yeah, the story's real.
The story's real. So that was when I was a child.
Fast forward

Speaker 1 eight years from that, I'm driving on that same road with my buddy Tim, Tim Dean, and I'm driving with him. And we got some other guys in the back, same road.
All of a sudden, Tim's like, Ed, stop.

Speaker 1 You're going to hit somebody. Stop, stop, stop.
You're going to hit somebody. There's a guy in the road.
There's a guy in the road. I'm like, there's no one fucking here.

Speaker 1 And then I drive through the guy,

Speaker 1 supposedly to Tim. And then he's like, you fucking hit someone.
You fucking hit someone. And then the.
locks on my doors start going up and down like crazy

Speaker 1 in the same exact spot man what the fuck yeah he's still saying ghosts ain't real Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. He sends this guy hates ghosts.
He tells the ghosts are a waste of time.

Speaker 1 These are the best ghost stories we've all heard.

Speaker 1 This is better than all the ghost stories you guys sent me.

Speaker 1 He doesn't believe in ghosts.

Speaker 1 Well, so that happened.

Speaker 1 And then apparently my neighborhood.

Speaker 1 that I lived in, Mission Bay. It's in West Boca, Raton.

Speaker 1 We We had a lot of weird things happening at that house, but I always kind of wrote it off, you know, because it was a new house. Like my parents built it from the ground up.

Speaker 1 Oh, so you figure maybe it's settling or there's stuff going on or it's been made kind of maybe vaguely cheaper. Brand new house is haunted.

Speaker 1 No, you wouldn't, yeah, because you would think that something has to die there for there to be something. No, we were joking last night.
We were watching one of our like... dark calm down shows.

Speaker 1 And so we were watching,

Speaker 1 it's called Scariest Houses in America. It's on Discovery Plus, whatever.
And what it is is people submitting their scary homes to this, this reality show.

Speaker 1 And then this host, she's very sweet, that like goes through, decides which is the scariest homes.

Speaker 1 And the one that won was this spoiler, it was this home, like it was built over a cemetery road, and the backyard was a cemetery. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 And we were just joking about the lady, because this lady that was designing it all was obviously not remotely the right person to be retrofitting a graveyard home, like a cemetery, like house.

Speaker 1 And so she's all like, and so we could put this to hide the gravestones and we can put this to hide the gravestones.

Speaker 1 And then we were joking about how like they made out this out area for the kids to play and this idea for being like, and so I just moved all those pesky gravestones.

Speaker 1 We don't need to worry about those gravestones. You know what I mean? Like that idea of you could see someone building it on haunted land.
Yeah. Because that's the poltergeist story.

Speaker 1 Well, that's what it seemed like we had heard.

Speaker 1 But I like, we waited to get tortured for a while first, kind of in the the house before we started talking to our neighbors and realized that they were all going through the same fucking thing things that would happen to me was like things would go missing and then would just appear like in the middle of the desk you know like they would just appear like right in front of you in front of every you know it was like it would go missing for weeks and then it'd just be like in the middle of the counter you know it'd be like weird shit you know i mean that happened that i've that i know i've had i've experienced that activity yeah and so i remember one time i was in my room it was right before me and my buddies.

Speaker 1 We were about to go see Independence Day in the theater. And we're all hanging out at the house and they're playing like Doom or some shit in the computer room.

Speaker 1 And I'm in my room listening to music really loud and a book

Speaker 1 falls off of the speaker. And I'm like, oh, I'm listening to my music too loud.
You know,

Speaker 1 the speaker knocked the book off, whatever. And then I look back.
And I put the book back on the speaker and I look back and the book's back on the middle of the ground.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, that's weird and then i and then i what was the book you're gonna hate me when i tell you what the book was jfk assassination

Speaker 1 yes but then i saw the book for the third time i actually saw it like go to the ground and it didn't fall normal It like fell like slanted and kind of slow.

Speaker 1 And it was then it was like open to a page. And so I just, I was was scared.
I was closed the book, threw it in the trash, didn't read nothing. Because I've always been like this.

Speaker 1 I was like that. And then from this moment on, I ain't reading a goddamn book ever again.
They are evil. Yeah, exactly.
And so I threw it in the trash. I'm like, we're going to the movies now.

Speaker 1 And I told the guys, I was like, we're just going to go early. And then we left and we went to the movies.

Speaker 1 Later that night, my buddy Corey slept over and we were sitting there and we're going from, we used to, we had this like tradition where we would like steal my parents' liquor, get fucked up in my bedroom.

Speaker 1 And then in the next room was two twin beds. So we would like get trashed and then we'd walk over to the next room and go to sleep whenever we were like past out enough to go to sleep.

Speaker 1 And so, but like this night, the same, I think it was the same night, or it was like the same week, um, we were going to the next room, and then right at the end of the hallway is like my dad's lazy boy chair.

Speaker 1 And we see like a man sitting in the chair in the darkness. And it's like that same thing I was talking about before, like a blue shadowy figure.

Speaker 1 And we're just like, my dad, I was like, hey, dad, what's up? We're going to bed, you know, and no answer. And the figure's just like sitting there.

Speaker 1 And then my buddy Corey's like, all right, hi, Jerry, like that. And the figure doesn't move.
You can't see what it is. It's in complete darkness.

Speaker 1 If it was my father, he was just sitting in the chair with no television on,

Speaker 1 staring at us. And so, but like, you couldn't see any like distinct facial features or anything like that.

Speaker 1 But there was obviously somebody in the chair yeah and so we eventually uh went we just like okay we're gonna pretend like this isn't happening and then we just went into the other room and then the door shut behind us

Speaker 1 and that was just fucking weird that's just so fucking crazy another time at this house another experience i had at this house was uh where i'm sitting there i'm on the phone with my buddy goldstead uh and We, you know, we would prank each other a lot, you know, stuff like that.

Speaker 1 We were, you know, yucksters and shit like that. And so I'm on the phone with him.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 then there's like, all of a sudden, while I'm talking to him, there was an aggressive, like, my front door just started shaking aggressively. And I was like, you here? And he's like, nah.

Speaker 1 And then I opened the door. Ain't no one there.
We had a screen door and everything. So the screen door, if someone did like, you know, like knock on the door, they need to open up the screen door.

Speaker 1 And the screen door shut slowly. The screen door was shut.
When I opened it, I was like, you messing with me, man? And he's like, no. I was like, all right, well, stay on the phone with me.

Speaker 1 I don't know if someone's like fucking with me at my house, you know? So I'm walking with him. And then I walk to my back door to kind of look out there.
And I got these sliding glass doors.

Speaker 1 And I'm talking to him, like, you fucking with me, man? And then he's like, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 I'm like, all right, stay on the phone with me, you know, just, you know, just in case like someone's coming for me or something. And then I go and I'm like, go to my back doors, which are just like.

Speaker 1 giant glass doors, you know, sliding glass doors. You can see through them.
And all of a sudden, they started shaking.

Speaker 1 And then I was just like, what the fuck? And then, so I'm like, all right, I don't like this. So I leave the house, you know, and I go over to my buddy Johnny's house who lives down the street.

Speaker 1 And I start, I was like, I'm like, yo, some weird shit's happened in my house. Then he's like, weird shit's happening in my house.
He's like, I heard weird shits happening at Aya's house, too.

Speaker 1 I heard weird shits happening in Oakland. It's what happened in Poltergeist.

Speaker 1 Apparently,

Speaker 1 the neighborhood was built on a plantation.

Speaker 1 Wow. Like from back in the day.
And so like, and everyone in the neighborhood had weird shit happening to them.

Speaker 1 And it wasn't for a couple of years that we all started talking to each other and find out that everyone had like weird situations happen in that town. That's for that one little neighborhood.
Wow.

Speaker 1 That's frightening. Yeah, it was always very fucking scary.
And then what happened? But I guess you. And then we moved.
And I never, nothing's ever happened to me since.

Speaker 1 But I do, that's why I believe it's both there are people that can see it. Yeah.
And I think that there are places that have it. Yeah.
And they have to be together. I guess so.

Speaker 1 But I've, but if nothing has happened to me ever since, I mean, am I really a person who could see it? I don't know. You know, like that seems, I feel like that's what?

Speaker 1 I was probably 16, so that's almost 30 years ago. Yeah.
So nothing. I mean, I also was like a pre-pubescent boy who was like, you know, going through a bunch of weird body shit.
That's what they say.

Speaker 1 Why you can see it. And they also believe the idea that

Speaker 1 maybe legitimately something along the lines of your brain solidifying around the ages of 25 might do that, might keep you from being able to see

Speaker 1 something. Because I don't think it's, it's not like you're sensitive.
You know what I mean? Like, it's not like you're very sensitive. You are.
I'm emotional. You're like a beacon, though.

Speaker 1 I'm empathetic. I'm empathetic.
Amber Nelson swears she's psychic, right? Yeah. She swears she talks to ghosts.
She can speak to ghosts. And she's going to places and she holds herself like that.

Speaker 1 But I don't think she's ever seen one. Yeah.
You've seen a bunch of them and nothing's going in there.

Speaker 1 Well, there is the other thing I've heard famously, I think we've talked about this on the show before, that weed

Speaker 1 dampens your ability to have contact with the other side. Weed's bad for magic.
Yeah, and I smoke a lot of weed, so maybe weed just killed whatever ghost thing that was inside of me.

Speaker 1 Weed is bad for magic. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Unless you've got the old school, you use it very specifically in rituals or whatever.

Speaker 1 It's supposed to gunk up your pituitary gland, according to the magical users, but I just think they just can't handle it. I think it makes them paranoid.

Speaker 1 But that's all my ghost stories. Wow.
That's all

Speaker 1 that's all of them put together. That's a half an hour of ghost stories.

Speaker 1 You just did a full half an hour on just your ghost stories.

Speaker 1 That's fucked up.

Speaker 1 Julie's got none? Julie's got none.

Speaker 1 She's never experienced anything. Natalie's never experienced anything.
I've never experienced anything. Rob, you've never experienced anything, right?

Speaker 1 Long Island. I've had some strange feelings.

Speaker 1 When I was doing plumbing, I would go into old houses and I'd be the only one in there and I would feel like someone's watching me, but I never had anything directly happen.

Speaker 1 I've like sensed well, they were watching you and they were masturbating on you. Probably, that's different.
That's

Speaker 1 called customers, was the hammer, you know. Yeah, you never put your wrist in my shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me see.
Dig through that, yeah. Let's just pants slide a bit lower.

Speaker 1 I'd like to see the crest you create. Don't throw that out.
I was saving that. I was saving that.
Yeah, it's a nice little Long Island ass you got a top of. Talk about ghost stories.

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Speaker 1 All right, let me read some of these ghost stories. I got some ghost stories from Fains.
Nice, nice.

Speaker 1 I picked one out too. I'm going to read this Haunted Sandwich shop.

Speaker 1 I used to work in a haunted sandwich shop in Texas.

Speaker 1 It was located in a standalone building in the middle of a parking lot and, like other businesses along the road, looked at as if it had been converted from a single-family home.

Speaker 1 There were creepy stories about the place shared among employees long before I got there, and they continued after I'd left.

Speaker 1 Things like hearing whispered conversations in the back room when you were alone in the morning, bags of chips and cardboard displays moving around at night, and handprints appearing on the clean glass covering the line where we kept the sandwich ingredients.

Speaker 1 Very interesting.

Speaker 1 I also say what you were bringing up, I wanted to say, like, I was getting into a little, like, for some reason, a hole of ghost stories at the Luxor in Vegas. Oh.

Speaker 1 And how apparently the Luxor in Vegas is the most haunted location in all of Vegas, and the ghost folds your clothes. That's

Speaker 1 against against your will. Like you show up and you have unpacked and then you come back into the room and the ghosts have folded up clothes and have left them on the bed.

Speaker 1 And then you go and say, has someone been in my room? And Luxor apparently has a policy where they don't acknowledge it. Luxor isn't that old either.

Speaker 1 I remember seeing the Luxor get built when I was a kid. And there's also multiple suicides in the Luxor.
There's been many suicides in the Luxor. They also have a lot of people.

Speaker 1 Some people jumping off. Well, no, well, in the room.
Oh, in the rooms. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. No, they wait to jump off when they get to Disney.
Yes. Yeah, apparently.
Two suicides in the last 10 days.

Speaker 1 I heard it was five now. Well, five deaths.
Five deaths. Yeah, but two of them are suicides at the contemporary.
One person jumped and one person was found in their room.

Speaker 1 Can you imagine spending that much money just to commit suicide? I mean, who cares if you're committing suicide? If I'm spending that kind of money, I'm in France. Really? Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, buddy.

Speaker 1 Maybe they. I'm doing this in Europe.
I think a lot of people go to Disney to

Speaker 1 kind of forget their problems. And when they get get there, they realize that not only did they not forget their problems, but now they're completely broke now too.
I'm in the offdeman of my errors.

Speaker 1 Yes, and the problems have just increased. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes, very much so. All right, back to the sandwich shop.

Speaker 1 I thought it was fascinating. I forgot about that.
I forgot about they committed suicide in Disneyland. It's hard.
No, Disneyland.

Speaker 1 They landed in the guy who jumped landed right where they served brunch with the characters. Apparently.
Apparently.

Speaker 1 I've heard that, but I have, no one has officially reported that. But I don't know where where else they're going to land.
It's got to be scary to find a guy wherever the breakfast is

Speaker 1 flat as a pancake. Have you ever been to the contemporary, Rob? The contemporary is the hotel that the train runs through.
Yeah, the model.

Speaker 1 And it's built kind of like the Luxor, how there's just rooms along the side, and it's like a big atrium in the middle.

Speaker 1 And then someone jumped off the side into the middle, like in the middle of the hours. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. So, like, that's how they decided to fucking do it.

Speaker 1 And it was kind of crazy because there was a high school dive team there, and one of the coaches just went 10.

Speaker 1 All right, here we go.

Speaker 1 So so

Speaker 1 it's spooky it's spooky time one night i was working a closing shift and i was up on the line alone with two managers in the back employee area the bell of the front door chimed and a customer walked in Now this bell sound was triggered by a motion detector at floor level in the small foyer just beyond the door, not by any movement of the door itself.

Speaker 1 So anybody entering had to pass through the motion detector, which then would make the bell go off. In this case, it was a middle-aged man in a fedora-style hat and a long wool peacoat.

Speaker 1 A strange choice for most seasons of Texas weather, which is why I remember it so clearly.

Speaker 1 I greeted him when I glanced back down at the task that I'm in the middle of, and since he still had to walk across the lobby, I had time to finish up before he reached me.

Speaker 1 When I looked up again, the man was gone. My first thought was that he must have turned around and gone to the bathrooms because I hadn't heard the doorbell.
So there's no way that he'd left.

Speaker 1 A couple minutes later, I felt a cold chill run on my spine with the realization that the man couldn't have gone to the bathroom. He couldn't even have entered the restaurant.

Speaker 1 We've already been closed for the night, and I'd lock the front door.

Speaker 1 I shrieked for the managers, who checked the entire place. The front door was indeed locked.
The bathrooms were empty, And the man in the long coat was nowhere to be found. Wow.

Speaker 1 See, those are the kind of things that, like, you know, like you never know. We had something similar like that happen at Hooters.

Speaker 1 It's going to sound crazy. One night we came in and they were asking all of us if we came into the store the last night, anyone who had keys, you know?

Speaker 1 And we're like, no, there's a lot of skittery characters in Tallahassee, especially at the time. For sure, for sure.

Speaker 1 But there was on the camera footage, there was footage of an old lady walking around inside the Hooters that night when it was closed and no alarm ever went off, like to open or close the doors.

Speaker 1 Man, ghost lesbian. Yeah.
Yeah, just there.

Speaker 1 Some leftover titty ghosts. Where are the ladies? It's like you're late.
There's a popped us during the day.

Speaker 1 Do you see the Tallahassee Hooters is fighting because they are, they believe and they're fighting to get more black ladies in the restaurant? What are you talking about? It got torn down.

Speaker 1 They said, no, there's some, one of these Hooters came out and they said they're fighting to get more black. It's not Tallahassee.
Tallahassee Hooters is gone. Yeah, yeah, it's demolished.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I got it. Someone sent me a photo.
Man, they someone should have brought you one of the signs, like that H or something.

Speaker 1 I went right before I left, right before, like last year, I went real quick once just to, you know, go to my old stomping grounds and stuff. I got a shirt, so I'm good.
Of course. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's nice. Yeah, I do.
You know what I would like if anyone out there has it? I would love one of those Hooters plates.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. I like those.
I know those plastic wood plates. Yeah.
Bring us one of the women. Yeah, no,

Speaker 1 I knew them. They're fine.
No, they're nice. You know what I mean? Yeah, the Hooters girls are wonderful, but, you know.
All right, you got your story. Oh, yes.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. I was looking at all the Rob was pulling up Hooter's merch, and I got distracted.

Speaker 1 Get deeper to the merch. I do love Hooters Merch.
Oh, man. Remember when they had an arena football team and an airline? I do.
I remember the airline.

Speaker 1 The airline where they would like all the stewardesses were dressed like Hooter girls and they served chicken wings in the air. It was pretty great.
I can't believe it didn't last.

Speaker 1 The mid-90s had a rash of really fun micro-businesses that went nowhere. Remember Sega TV? Oh, yeah.
Shit like that. We had a lot of cool stuff we didn't get.

Speaker 1 This one's a spooky pasta. Is that all right? Yes, of course.
No, read the spooky pasta. This one's called Spooky Pasta in the Woods by Party Brett.

Speaker 1 I'm an avid outdoor guy. I like to fish, hunt, ride motorcycles, and have recently gotten to overlanding as I'm starting to get a little older.

Speaker 1 What does overlanding mean?

Speaker 1 I don't even know what that means. Overlanding? He's getting into overlanding.
I don't know. Overlanding.
What is it?

Speaker 1 Overlanding is a form of self-reliant adventure travel where the journey is the primary goal. Cool.
Typically involving a vehicle traveling to a remote destination. Well, good for you, Brett.

Speaker 1 So he's gotten into overlanding recently as I'm starting to get older. This tale happened about 15 years ago after a bad breakup.

Speaker 1 I was in a private campground out in the Olympic Peninsula in Washington State. It was a real rainy weekend, but I needed some outdoor time and I have a pretty nice gear, so I went anyway.

Speaker 1 Campground was empty, not even anyone in the room, office. I figured I'd just slip some cash through the mail slot for my rental site fee and enjoy my alone time.

Speaker 1 Turned on my little speaker and started my fire. Cooked some supper and started to just enjoy the sound of the rain hitting my pop-up and stay close to the fire.

Speaker 1 That's when I heard a very distinct, loud voice. Is it safe?

Speaker 1 I turned off my music because I thought the rain and the alone time was playing tricks on me.

Speaker 1 Not to mention I was about four beers and a glass of whiskey in and about a minute later from another direction I heard, is it safe?

Speaker 1 And then from the first direction immediately after, is it safe?

Speaker 1 Not 30 seconds later, from three different directions. Is it safe?

Speaker 1 Is it safe?

Speaker 1 Is it safe?

Speaker 1 So I went to my truck, grabbed my shotgun, loaded it, racked it, and put one more in the tube. Safe for who?

Speaker 1 I asked loudly. That's when I heard rustling in the brush of people running, and then a car start to speed off.
Didn't sleep much that night.

Speaker 1 Moved to a different part of the peninsula the next night to enjoy the rest of my vacation.

Speaker 1 Stay safe out there, guys.

Speaker 1 Not every scare is supernatural. And not every predator is four-legged.
Yeah!

Speaker 1 Creepypasta. Man is the most dangerous animal of all.

Speaker 1 You know, I'm excited. I mean, you're big.
What do you do in Halloween? Halloween? I'm in the air, baby. Yeah, that's right, because you're already on the way to Florida.

Speaker 1 I'm going to Florida early because I got a show in Miami the night before the cruise.

Speaker 1 If you guys are hanging out before the cruise, if you're coming in, Miami at the Dead Flamingo at 9 p.m.

Speaker 1 That's Sunday night. I'm doing a stand-up show just to kind of warm up for the cruise a little bit.
We're doing Crime Wave at Sea all next week.

Speaker 1 We will be, we're going to be putting, obviously, nothing changes about our release schedule. All the stuff will be coming out, but we will be floating.

Speaker 1 And we will be entertaining people that love murder. That's right.
Won't we, Eddie? Yes. And trying not to get murdered ourselves by them.

Speaker 1 Also, if you have any like good murder at sea stories, send them into sidestorieslpotl.com. We could probably use it at gmail.com.
We could probably use it for the show.

Speaker 1 And not the recent Netflix one. There was that story, I think it was Amanda Taylor.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 Amanda Brown, I believe, the lady that fell off the cruise boat because there's still no, we don't have any concrete leads on that.

Speaker 1 And I still, I still kind of feel like she might have fallen off the boat. But we don't know.
A lot of people fall off boats. A lot of people fall off boats.
It's really fucking crazy, but not us.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Also, after the cruise, though, if you're sick and around, I'm going to be in Orlando on November 8th doing Dead Men Tell Some Tales, which is my Dark Disney story, which I'm sure we'll probably cover in depth this crazy

Speaker 1 suicide over at the Contemporary Resort.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but come check that out. It's going to be at the Conduit in Orlando at 4 p.m.

Speaker 1 Yeah, baby. Now we're finally getting to it.
Living my life. Oh, yeah, dude.
That's the show time, dude. I'm going to be wrapped by 6 p.m.
Think about that. Then you get to eat and drink.

Speaker 1 I'll go out and have a good night. It's my favorite, dude.
Yeah, I got some of my high school boys coming, so come, it's going to be a hoot. You're always going to have a fucking blast.

Speaker 1 I'm fucking jealous. Make sure you live every day going to see Eddie do comedy live.
That's right.

Speaker 1 And then love the fact that when you've seen Eddie Live, you're going to want to see Side Stories live.

Speaker 1 Yes, I'm going to be solo in San Diego on November 16th, and then Side Stories is going to be in Columbus, Ohio on November 30th, the Sunday after Thanksgiving. And we're going to make you laugh.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're going to make you laugh. We're going to make you laugh.
We're going to make you shit. Yeah.
And then it's going to be pretty good.

Speaker 1 One week after that, we're going to be in Las Vegas at the Wise Guys. I'm very excited for that.
That's Side Stories in Vegas on December 7th. And I ain't.

Speaker 1 I'm going to toot our hornetty and say we're the best we've ever been. We really are.
Our show is great right now. Come see our Side Story show.
We have so much fucking fun.

Speaker 1 We were so worried that we were going to, Billy had us do in 45 minutes in Humboldt.

Speaker 1 We were so worried that we were gonna make it to the 45 he's like oh you did an hour and 20 yeah very quickly yeah very very quickly come on out we have a really good time we keep it loose last podcast and left see that live we keep that tight so that we get it all but make sure today you should already have been on our youtube page youtube.com slash lpn tv yeah subscribe immediately subscribe lpn rpg bloodbath is out with me Jackie Zabrowski Ross Bryant and our dungeon master technically our storyteller Jared Logan this is it is really fucked up we do some fucked up stuff in this series I'm very excited I'm gonna make an appearance at some point you do I don't know when but I'm evolved in a very small way everybody is yeah I can't wait bro we've pulled everybody in but those are

Speaker 1 roll it out Roll your fucking tush bro yeah dude so yeah for Halloween for me I'm having people over in the backyard hell yeah Watching movies. Fucking

Speaker 1 get drunk. Yeah.
See, Halloween always kind of scares me because of all the people who drink that never drank on that day.

Speaker 1 And they always, you put an asshole in a costume and they become an even bigger asshole. But, you know, you just got to, that's why I don't go to Hollywood.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 You know, I'm over Hollywood. Now I'm bringing the, I'm bringing it to me.
I'm bringing it to me. This is the year where I really, honestly, we've never really done the hand candy out to kids stuff.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And that's what we're doing this year because now they're actually starting to come around.
Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 but we do have like a lot of we have a Hasidic family on the block that I think we frighten. Okay, yeah, I know that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I got some Orthodox people in my neighborhood who, but I play the hip-hop for their children every Saturday.

Speaker 1 I play I play really loud hip-hop out of the house to really help the little Jewish boys.

Speaker 1 No one loves hip-hop more than a little Jewish boy. No, they always turn.
That's the who produces them. Yeah.
I'm going to see John Carpenter. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's awesome.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. I'm very jealous of that.
Well, see, everyone, have fun out there this weekend. Be safe.

Speaker 1 Be safe. Make good choices.
All right. Don't do PCP.
Yeah. Scared your children.
Yeah, man. Fucking make your kids scared.

Speaker 1 As parents, I think you guys, to be honest, everyone's being too kind to their children. Scare your kids.
Yeah. All right.
Just this once for this weekend. It's good.

Speaker 1 I really do believe it is a healthy experience for a child. Not like scare them like Joseph Fritzel.

Speaker 1 That's not scaring. That's abuse.
Yes. I don't mean abuse them.
I mean scare them.

Speaker 1 I mean set up scenarios where they don't know whether or not the house is haunted or not do what Eddie's family did to him probably I even like I still believe that's probably the best case scenario but I feel like my dad would have folded and be like got you ass of course he would yeah that's the thing

Speaker 1 like eh fucking got you you fucking idiot yeah yeah that's why I don't think my dad did it yeah that's what I'm saying just if you're out there this is the great time to make Halloween special for your kids by scaring the ever-living shit out of them.

Speaker 1 Pay an old buddy to hang out in their room. I like that's a real bunch of shit in her underwear drawer.

Speaker 1 Pay someone that you like, how much fun would that be if you, I mean, like, maybe I'll just do that to see now. Break into his home.
I know how to get into his home, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I just hide in there.

Speaker 1 Right. And I'm just scared.
I just scare him a little bit. Right.
Just for the sake of like, oh, it's Halloween. Anything can happen.
It's like Santa Claus. Oh, that could be good.

Speaker 1 You fucking, you dressed fully as Santa Claus with your guts coming out of your belly. Yeah.
And then you just like a little sign with a little suicide note next to you and say that

Speaker 1 you weren't good enough. Yeah, I committed suicide because you weren't good enough.

Speaker 1 And then you have the note delivered by Art the Clown, who we know. Like, we get David Howard Thornton to come over, and he's just like, Hey, hey,

Speaker 1 we got it fun. Yeah, you know, we never get to have fun, don't we? Do we? Never.
I never had a good time once. Not once.
Yeah. Everyone, be sad.
Bye. Be sad.
Fuck you. Hail Satan.
Hail Satan.

Speaker 1 Happy Halloween. Yeah.
Peace.

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