Welcome to the Horizon 2.1: New in Town

Speaker 1 episode is supported by the Folium Diary. If you're looking for something new to add to your sort of podcast fiction diet, the Folium Diary might be the thing.

Speaker 1 The Folium Diary is basically the daily diary of a woman who has been asked to test a new app called Folium. The interesting thing about the Folium Diary is that there's a new episode every day.

Speaker 3 So every night at 9 p.m.

Speaker 1 Pacific time, there's a new episode of the Folium Diary. Each episode is about three minutes long, and they're going to be doing this until New Year's Eve.

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And it's a relatively new thing in audio drama.

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I'm interested to see what you think.

Speaker 1 You can find the Folium Diary on all the popular podcast platforms or head directly to thefoliumdiary.buzzsprout.com. Thanks to the Folium Diary for sponsoring today's episode.

Speaker 1 Hey, Ryan Reynolds here, wishing you a very happy half-off holiday because right now, Mint Mobile is offering you the gift of 50% off unlimited. To be clear, that's half price, not half the service.

Speaker 1 If Mint is still premium, unlimited wireless for a great price.

Speaker 7 So that means a half day.

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Speaker 7 Upfront payment of $45 for a three-month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required. New customer offer for first three months only.
Speed slow under 35 gigabytes of networks busy.

Speaker 7 Taxes and fees extra.

Speaker 8 See Mintmobile.com.

Speaker 8 Well, well, well, you're the last free city.

Speaker 9 I knew this guy once.

Speaker 10 He had aspirations.

Speaker 10 Sweets Martinez.

Speaker 10 He wanted to be a brewmaster. This is a common problem in Oregon because if you have a garage and a jug and the right paperwork, poof, you have a brewery in the eyes of the state.

Speaker 10 It's more micro breweries per capita than any other state. Anyway, the whole thing was espresso stout.
And I don't mean the usual espresso stout that tastes like coffee.

Speaker 10 He was talking about literally combining beer and coffee. Imagine getting up in the morning and having your first beer and your first cup of coffee.
How's that sound?

Speaker 10 Well, it sounds like an alcoholism fast pass is what it sounds like, sweets. And he responds: Alcoholism is for quitters.

Speaker 10 Special guy. Anyway, one day,

Speaker 10 we all look around and we realize we haven't seen sweets for a few days. This is a guy who never misses a day at the bar, right? So we don't think much of it.

Speaker 10 But dear, sweet summer child Deidre.

Speaker 10 She thinks we've all gotta go do a wellness check on him. And I'm like, all of us already know he's unwell, so check.

Speaker 10 But she won't let it go. So we all pile into her truck bed with Rhodes, and we head over to his trailer.

Speaker 10 I have no idea what we're walking into, but if I had a hazmat suit in that moment, you know what I mean?

Speaker 10 So we're all standing there outside his trailer, and all of us are a little bit buzzed at this point because how else are you going to go do something you don't want to do?

Speaker 10 Deirdre's tapping on his door: tap, tap, tap, sweet, sweet. We're all worried about you.
Are you okay in there? Tap, tap, tap. Oh, enough already.
I say, and I just kicked the door open.

Speaker 17 You guys,

Speaker 10 not even H.P. Lovecraft could describe the smell that came out of that trailer.
My eyes were watering. I think it literally stripped my nail polish off.

Speaker 10 And somehow, it was not the smell of Sweets being dead.

Speaker 10 It was the smell of success.

Speaker 10 Turns out, Sweets had finally cracked the code of his espresso beer combo and he drank so much of it that he proceeded to poop himself nearly to death for the next three days.

Speaker 10 It was a grim scene, my friends. EMTs

Speaker 10 with gas masks had to get him out of there. They had to medivac him

Speaker 10 to OHSU. Anyway,

Speaker 10 anyway, he's a cop now.

Speaker 10 Why is everybody looking at me?

Speaker 4 Because the action is on you.

Speaker 10 Oh, shit.

Speaker 10 It is? I'm I'm sorry. I just, you know, I thought of sweets and that whole story just came rushing back.
Okay, my turn.

Speaker 10 Here we go.

Speaker 19 Looking at the cards.

Speaker 13 Looking at cards.

Speaker 17 I raise.

Speaker 11 Again? Hey!

Speaker 10 Are we playing cards or are we playing cards here?

Speaker 20 You just told us a five-minute story about your friend shitting himself.

Speaker 3 Right.

Speaker 10 That's

Speaker 10 guilty. I did do that.
Apologies to the table. Okay, but I raised 20.

Speaker 8 20?

Speaker 10 Hey, relax. It's only money.

Speaker 12 Only money?

Speaker 10 It is money, right? That's what we're playing for. That's what these little rectangles are.

Speaker 21 No, snorts. The action's on you.

Speaker 10 I'm sorry. What was your name again?

Speaker 8 Snorts.

Speaker 10 Snorts.

Speaker 8 I am Snorts Mogortz, the axe of the Green Army.

Speaker 22 Axe?

Speaker 8 Hey, there it is.

Speaker 20 This axe has eaten the souls of thousands.

Speaker 10 Well, that is a very impressive axe, Snorts. Quick question.
You do realize that everyone else is carrying around laser guns these days, right?

Speaker 21 Who's still using laser guns?

Speaker 11 The axe is largely ceremonial.

Speaker 8 Ceremonial?

Speaker 20 You can see the bloodstains on the blade, cyborg. You call it ceremonial.

Speaker 11 I'm just saying you can use other weapons.

Speaker 21 You're not getting into a gunfight with that thing.

Speaker 20 I will show you how ceremonial my axe is.

Speaker 10 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa there, snorts. No need for axe play.
Have yourself a seat. We're playing a game here.

Speaker 21 Where are you from, stranger?

Speaker 23 Me?

Speaker 11 You look like an earthling.

Speaker 13 Earthling?

Speaker 11 No.

Speaker 11 No.

Speaker 10 No, I get a lot of that. Actually, I'm from

Speaker 24 Ken

Speaker 8 Daddy.

Speaker 13 Ken Daddy? I've never heard of it.

Speaker 10 Have you not? Well, that's

Speaker 10 not surprising. It's way out there, you know, way out there.

Speaker 8 Can we play this game, please?

Speaker 10 Oh my god, snorts! The action is on you.

Speaker 8 Is it? Yeah. I knew that.

Speaker 10 Then go for it. Fine.

Speaker 4 I am all in.

Speaker 14 Ah, now we're talking.

Speaker 10 Seriously, Snorts.

Speaker 21 You do this every time.

Speaker 8 You doubt the strength of my hand?

Speaker 11 Every time we play, you go all in and you lose, and then split the table in half with your ridiculous act.

Speaker 20 I have not split the table for at least three weeks, and don't call my acts ridiculous.

Speaker 10 Okay, Snorts. No need to get upset.
We respect your agency, okay?

Speaker 10 I hear you, and I see you.

Speaker 10 Guys,

Speaker 10 Snorts is going all in. It's his choice.
Who else is coming with him?

Speaker 4 I fold.

Speaker 3 As do I.

Speaker 4 Very well.

Speaker 20 The action is on you, Kendadian.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 10 Brief side note. Shorts.
People from Kendaddy prefer to be called Kendadiites.

Speaker 25 I will call you dead if you do not take your turn!

Speaker 10 No, Snorts! There are a lot of decaffeinated brands out there that are just as tasty as the real thing!

Speaker 22 Take

Speaker 4 your

Speaker 3 turn.

Speaker 14 O-K-I-Call.

Speaker 11 Uh-oh.

Speaker 21 What's four Aces?

Speaker 12 He wins. What?

Speaker 10 Game, Snorts? That's impossible! Heard don't lie.

Speaker 22 That's the third hand in a row.

Speaker 10 I know.

Speaker 10 Amazing luck tonight.

Speaker 20 That is not luck!

Speaker 25 That is cheating!

Speaker 10 Snorts, how dare you?

Speaker 26 For fuck's sake, snorts.

Speaker 22 Empty your pockets!

Speaker 10 Snorts, please, I'm a woman.

Speaker 11 Our clothes don't have pockets.

Speaker 8 I can see them on you.

Speaker 10 Are you checking me out, snorts?

Speaker 27 How are we doing tonight, ladies?

Speaker 12 Is that your ride?

Speaker 27 Yeah, this is mine.

Speaker 2 What's up?

Speaker 4 Over here.

Speaker 10 Did you find us a ride?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 2 What do you think? What is it? I don't know.

Speaker 28 But I stole it. Whatever.

Speaker 10 Let's go. There's a guy with an axe chasing me.

Speaker 27 An axe?

Speaker 4 Oh, shit. Let's go.

Speaker 8 Come on. It doesn't have wheels.

Speaker 27 Apparently, that doesn't matter.

Speaker 27 Bye, Sean.

Speaker 20 You think you have fooled me, Candadian.

Speaker 3 but I have your scent now.

Speaker 19 Good morning, Hoods Pocket. I hope everyone is feeling a little better this morning.
We now know that when we travel, it can make a lot of y'all sick for a minute.

Speaker 19 So if you're feeling under the weather, get yourself down to trinkets. She's got some sort of tea that will help you with the nausea.
Now,

Speaker 19 I know a lot of you are really nervous because we're still trying to get our bearings in this new place. We've got spaceships flying over our head, and...
Yes, the rumors are true.

Speaker 19 We've got a group of aliens staying at the horizon right now. I have it on good authority that they are called Truscans and they may look like big monsters, but they're harmless.

Speaker 19 But on the topic of where the hell we are,

Speaker 19 I have some news that's hot off the presses. We have a name for this place.
Welcome everyone to the planet of Rax Prime, just outside the capital city of Raxius. Here's what we know.

Speaker 19 Rax Prime is in the Andromeda Galaxy. Isn't that crazy? We're in a part of Andromeda that is apparently called the Iron Quadrant.
Now, listen close. Here's the deal with the Iron Quadrant.

Speaker 19 Have any of y'all heard the stories about Portland at the turn of the century? Around the year 1900, Portland was made up of unemployed miners, sailors, lumberjacks, and criminals.

Speaker 19 It was known as the most dangerous place in the country, and there were a lot of dangerous places in the country back then.

Speaker 19 Organized crime, racketeering, people getting Shanghai, and it didn't really get straightened out until World War II came along. Anyway, try and imagine turn-of-the-century Portland,

Speaker 19 but in space, and that's basically where we are.

Speaker 19 It's hard living here in the Iron Quadrant, and in Raxias, the city that's a two-hour drive from us,

Speaker 19 it is the worst of the worst.

Speaker 19 But don't worry, they have no idea we're here yet.

Speaker 19 And let's try and keep it that way. Okay, guys?

Speaker 30 If you see something,

Speaker 19 say something. Right.
Remember, if you see anything that looks weird or out of place, remember that all of our phones are connected through Elden now.

Speaker 19 Pick up your phone, say Elden, and just start talking about what you're seeing. It'll get sent to us up here at our house, okay?

Speaker 19 We can do this, y'all. We did just fine in medieval Bavaria, and we did even better in that place that I still can't pronounce.

Speaker 19 Stay calm, stay cautious, and I will see all of you down at the sheep's eye.

Speaker 31 You're good with a microphone.

Speaker 30 I think you missed your calling.

Speaker 19 Look at you all ready to go, and I'm still in my pajamas.

Speaker 30 I'm going to get up higher on the mountain and have a look around. Raxias is surrounded by about a million secret criminal hideaways, and I don't want anyone getting curious.

Speaker 19 Yeah, I still don't understand how a whole mountain appeared outside this city, and no one has noticed.

Speaker 30 Bugbug's teeth.

Speaker 19 What?

Speaker 30 Raxias is surrounded by a nasty mountain range called Bugbug's Teeth.

Speaker 33 And we

Speaker 30 landed right in the middle of them.

Speaker 19 But still,

Speaker 19 it's a mountain. Think about a huge mountain range.

Speaker 30 If another mountain showed up overnight,

Speaker 30 would you really notice?

Speaker 19 Someone's going to notice.

Speaker 30 They haven't yet.

Speaker 34 I'm monitoring all frequencies, Deidre. If there's any chatter about a new mountain, I'll hear about it.

Speaker 19 Good morning, Elden.

Speaker 34 Good morning, Deidre. I have news.

Speaker 19 What's up?

Speaker 34 Your suspicions were correct. You have a mild allergy to nightshades.
I knew it. I'd stay away from tomatoes, squash, and potatoes if I were you.

Speaker 19 That sucks.

Speaker 19 What about sweet potatoes? Sweet potatoes are fine.

Speaker 35 Great.

Speaker 30 So,

Speaker 30 Elden's reading your vitals now.

Speaker 4 What?

Speaker 6 We can share. Okay, okay.
Well,

Speaker 30 don't go taking the Phoenix for a joyride.

Speaker 4 All right? No.

Speaker 19 You can have the spaceship and the terrifying laser gun.

Speaker 31 Plasma.

Speaker 33 Whatever.

Speaker 33 You said

Speaker 6 our house.

Speaker 6 What?

Speaker 30 On the radio just now, you said our house.

Speaker 19 Yes,

Speaker 33 I did.

Speaker 19 Elden, how are Virg's vitals right now?

Speaker 6 They're slightly elevated, Deidre. Fuck off.

Speaker 19 Hey, go out there and keep me safe.

Speaker 19 You know, I'm a helpless damsel in here.

Speaker 30 Yes, my lady.

Speaker 19 You're great.

Speaker 33 You're great.

Speaker 34 I think we're doing an exceptional job of being completely honest and also downplaying the amount of danger we're in.

Speaker 30 If Raxius discovers this place,

Speaker 30 it'll be overrun in 15 minutes.

Speaker 34 Everyone's behaving themselves so far.

Speaker 30 And how long do we think that's gonna last?

Speaker 34 Not long at all, but we can dream.

Speaker 30 How do we protect a small town of humans from a city full of the biggest scumbags in the triad?

Speaker 34 I'm sure the answer lies in trying to figure it all out ourselves and not relying on anyone else for help.

Speaker 9 Okay, fuck you.

Speaker 30 I'm growing.

Speaker 34 It's not exactly a small town of humans. We have whatever in the world Frank is and whatever the hell Trinket is becoming.

Speaker 30 Yeah, have you seen her eyes lately?

Speaker 34 It's fascinating, isn't it?

Speaker 27 It's weird.

Speaker 34 I'm not sure when

Speaker 30 That sounds dirty.

Speaker 4 Oh, it will be.

Speaker 30 You sure you can't connect to the network?

Speaker 2 It'd be great to have a look around.

Speaker 34 I could, but we'd better err on the side of caution for the time being. We don't want to attract any unnecessary attention.

Speaker 34 I'll work off the archive in the Phoenix for now, and if we have to take a peek outside our local network, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Let's Let's remain calm.

Speaker 34 All members of Hood's Pocket are currently in the town borders, or at least their phones are.

Speaker 6 Fine.

Speaker 1 Leave a message with Frank.

Speaker 30 Tell him I'm headed higher up the mountain.

Speaker 27 Message sent.

Speaker 20 See?

Speaker 34 I shared. Gold star on the board for you today.

Speaker 30 Let me know when Juna's up.

Speaker 31 I need a drink already.

Speaker 34 She's at the horizon. She hasn't moved all night.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 28 Let's go.

Speaker 2 God damn it, Steve.

Speaker 27 Yeah, not bad for my first time.

Speaker 10 Next time, I drive the hover thingy.

Speaker 27 We need a sidecar.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 10 We've got about an hour before Frank finds out and gets real mad.

Speaker 1 I'm going into peppercorns.

Speaker 27 That was wild.

Speaker 27 At one point, I saw a dude that either had two heads heads or was carrying a smaller dude on his back.

Speaker 3 I don't know which it was.

Speaker 10 Good morning, Doug.

Speaker 14 Oh, uh, June, um, hi.

Speaker 28 What is that outside?

Speaker 10 That's our new ride.

Speaker 14 What do you think? Mm-hmm.

Speaker 28 Um, where did it come from?

Speaker 1 Steve stole it.

Speaker 27 I stole it. Oh.

Speaker 2 Um, stole it from who?

Speaker 27 I don't know whose it is. I just got on and started riding it.

Speaker 3 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 14 Uh, do not tell me. You went into that city.

Speaker 10 Relax. Doug, it was just a little jaunt.

Speaker 28 Hey, jaunt. Yeah.

Speaker 10 We dipped in there. I played some cards.
Steve stole a hover thingy, and now we're back.

Speaker 8 Easy peasy. Oh, cards?

Speaker 10 Yeah, check it out.

Speaker 19 I won these.

Speaker 24 What are those? I think it's money.

Speaker 14 Oh, well, Frank is not going to like this, June.

Speaker 19 Doug, Frank hasn't liked anything since 1991.

Speaker 28 Oh,

Speaker 14 I just... I listened to Deidre's morning broadcast, and she told us, you know, told us not to leave town for any reason.

Speaker 27 I guess we missed that one.

Speaker 10 Yeah, see? Frank can't be mad at us for being uninformed.

Speaker 14 No, well, that will happen anyway, though.

Speaker 10 Well, he's also been mad at me since 1991. I'm sure I can handle it.

Speaker 27 Hey, uh, Doug, so, um, like, all this stuff is just magically shows up again, huh?

Speaker 14 Yeah, um, believe it or not, I mean, I close up at night, and then when I walk into the stockroom the next day, you know, there it is.

Speaker 27 So, if I take this bag of bugles and I put it right outside the front door, there'll be another one that takes its place in the morning.

Speaker 14 Well, if it's, I mean, if it, if it's outside, I don't, I don't know.

Speaker 10 Hey, Doug, where have you been lately? I haven't seen you around the sheep's eye.

Speaker 14 Oh, um, I, I have been, I, I have, I have been,

Speaker 13 um,

Speaker 2 gardening.

Speaker 4 Gardening. Yes, that's right.
Yes.

Speaker 27 So is this like a new thing?

Speaker 14 Yes, why?

Speaker 10 You weren't gardening before.

Speaker 27 What do you mean? Your personality, it just, it just kind of screams, gardener, man.

Speaker 25 It does?

Speaker 28 Oh, for sure.

Speaker 14 Oh, well, I mean it it is it is new it is a new thing that I am trying.

Speaker 27 All right, well, I've got my bugles. Uh, what are you getting?

Speaker 10 Doug, I will be taking these three tall boys and these corn nuts, and I will look forward to them being magically back tomorrow.

Speaker 14 Okay.

Speaker 28 Oh, um, thanks for shopping at Peppergorn's shop and go.

Speaker 10 Hey, congrats on your new life as a gardener, but don't be a stranger, okay?

Speaker 28 Oh, well, you know, it's a town of 600 people, so there are no strangers.

Speaker 1 Touche.

Speaker 4 You know,

Speaker 27 I think it's time for me to name her.

Speaker 10 Okay, Steve, go for it.

Speaker 2 Big whiskey.

Speaker 34 Noise.

Speaker 34 Oh, Jesus. It's okay.

Speaker 34 I'm good.

Speaker 10 Yeah, he's he's gonna die.

Speaker 9 That doesn't sound good.

Speaker 9 Candadian!

Speaker 11 Ugh, for fuck's sake, snorts!

Speaker 20 You have stolen my money!

Speaker 10 Snorts, let me explain to you how gambling works.

Speaker 20 You have cheated me and you shall pay the price.

Speaker 10 Snorts, don't get your axe out.

Speaker 25 With this this axe!

Speaker 1 Oh my god.

Speaker 12 I shall strike you down for your insolence!

Speaker 10 You're just living in your own little world inside your head, aren't you, Snorts?

Speaker 3 Say a prayer to your gods.

Speaker 3 What is this?

Speaker 36 You dare raise your blade to my woman?

Speaker 10 Uh-oh, Snorts. You fucked up now.

Speaker 3 I see.

Speaker 20 So, you do not fight your own battles then?

Speaker 10 Snorts, why in the world would I fight my own battles? That sounds exhausting.

Speaker 8 And who might you be?

Speaker 36 I am Tevrock Stormbringer, son of Francis, and this mountain is under my protection. Relent or face my steel.

Speaker 20 If I must kill two,

Speaker 2 then so be it.

Speaker 10 You get him, honey.

Speaker 24 Who needs television, am I right?

Speaker 28 Ah, June. Frankie.

Speaker 13 Wow.

Speaker 1 What the fuck is going on?

Speaker 10 Tavrok is defending my honor.

Speaker 8 Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 From what?

Speaker 10 That's snorts McGorts. Very bad guy.
Serious problem.

Speaker 1 Uh-huh. Tabrock's got it handled, though.
Oh, then great.

Speaker 1 Wow. How does he already have his shirt shirt off?

Speaker 10 It's amazing, right? He's like a

Speaker 8 reverse superhero.

Speaker 19 As soon as there's trouble, the clothes come off.

Speaker 10 You're doing a great job, honey.

Speaker 12 Beer?

Speaker 16 Ooh.

Speaker 1 Tall boy. Sure.

Speaker 10 Now we're talking.

Speaker 1 Also, here's your phone.

Speaker 1 What's that? Yeah, you left your phone at the horizon. Did I?

Speaker 32 Look at me.

Speaker 28 So forgetful.

Speaker 15 Wow.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You know, Eldon told us not to go anywhere without our phones.
It's how he makes sure we're safe.

Speaker 10 I know, silly me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, silly you.

Speaker 1 It's also how he's able to make sure we're still in town and haven't gotten lost in the woods.

Speaker 10 Yes, he's such a mother hen, isn't he?

Speaker 1 Because, you know, if we did get lost in the woods, we may be followed home, you know, by say,

Speaker 1 I don't know,

Speaker 1 a seven-foot-tall axe-wielding space monster, for instance.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 seems to me if someone wanted to sneak out of town for a night, the best way to do that would be to leave their phone at home. Yes, well, let's be sure no one does that, right?

Speaker 19 That would be a huge mistake.

Speaker 13 Oh,

Speaker 25 hey,

Speaker 1 good morning, Trinket.

Speaker 19 Hey there, everyone.

Speaker 18 This

Speaker 19 is entertaining.

Speaker 28 Who's the axe guy?

Speaker 10 Snorts, McGorts. It's okay.

Speaker 10 Davrox got it handled.

Speaker 12 Oh, sweetie.

Speaker 10 I got that beer you like when you're done.

Speaker 1 Thank you, my love. How'd you sleep, Trinket?

Speaker 19 You know, it's funny. I woke up this morning with a strange feeling that June and Steve left town last night and went on a little excursion into the big city we're supposed to stay away from.

Speaker 23 What?

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 4 God damn it.

Speaker 1 Oh, stop. Well, it is a good thing June has way more sense than to do something that fucking stupid.

Speaker 25 Okay.

Speaker 10 That's true.

Speaker 19 We can always count on her to do the responsible things.

Speaker 8 It's all right.

Speaker 3 Enough already.

Speaker 20 Damn you, swords.

Speaker 36 I have bested you, Orc.

Speaker 36 Reach for your axe, and I run you through.

Speaker 20 You are defending a thief.

Speaker 36 Watch your tongue.

Speaker 25 Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 1 Hang on a sec there, Tavrock. Sorry, how is she a thief?

Speaker 20 She has taken my money through a complicated deception.

Speaker 3 She has called it Hold Them Texas.

Speaker 10 Texas, hold M, snorts.

Speaker 1 Okay, uh, snorts. That's not exactly theft, but I am sure it feels that way.
Uh, can you do us all a favor and get back into your monster truck?

Speaker 3 You.

Speaker 3 You are all earthlings.

Speaker 28 Fucking hell! Earthlings!

Speaker 18 Snorts!

Speaker 10 Don't be ridiculous! I'm whatever that name was that what I that I said.

Speaker 10 What was it I what was it I what was it I said I was what

Speaker 3 What is this place?

Speaker 10 Welcome to Hood's Pocket, Snorts.

Speaker 20 I have not heard of this place.

Speaker 12 Well

Speaker 10 don't spread it around snorts because then it won't be cool.

Speaker 3 What goes on in this place?

Speaker 25 You earthlings are far from home.

Speaker 13 This is our home, and you are an intruder. Leave now.

Speaker 20 I see.

Speaker 20 Whatever this place is, you choose to defend a thief.

Speaker 10 Guy sucks at cards, and it makes me a thief. Whatever.

Speaker 1 Oh my god, June, I'm gonna fucking kill you.

Speaker 3 I will take my leave.

Speaker 20 But this is not the last you have seen of

Speaker 20 Snort Smogorts.

Speaker 10 Okay, Toodles, Snorts, don't forget what I said about decaffeinated coffee.

Speaker 8 June,

Speaker 1 what the fuck have you been up to?

Speaker 10 Okay, look, we just...

Speaker 34 Hey, y'all, there's some kind of huge truck heading out of town.

Speaker 11 What?

Speaker 19 I'm good.

Speaker 19 Frank, Virgin, Elden are up on the mountain, and Elden is a little upset.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 14 Oh, Frank, Elden is up on the mountain and wants to know why everyone's phone is off.

Speaker 34 Frank, why is everyone's phone off?

Speaker 2 Is my phone off?

Speaker 10 So we're responsible.

Speaker 1 So is yours.

Speaker 34 Frank, do my eyes deceive me, or was Tavrock just in a sword fight with an Ugbok of the green army?

Speaker 2 Sorry, a who of the what?

Speaker 10 His name was Snorts Magord.

Speaker 1 For fuck's sake, June.

Speaker 10 It's not my fault.

Speaker 1 Okay, Elden. Who was that guy?

Speaker 30 Frank, Ugmoks are kind of a joke, but this guy is probably headed back into Raxius now, right?

Speaker 1 I guess.

Speaker 19 He's definitely headed back. He's moving very fast.

Speaker 30 And he made some sort of ominous threat about he'd be back or something, right? He swore vengeance?

Speaker 1 Uh, yeah, he may have sworn vengeance, yes.

Speaker 2 Uh-huh.

Speaker 30 How do you think this affects our plan to lay low and hope no one notices us?

Speaker 25 God damn it.

Speaker 1 Elden, let everyone know. Town meeting at noon.

Speaker 34 I'll send another message.

Speaker 1 You couldn't have stayed home and played some fucking Monopoly?

Speaker 10 I can't play with our Monopoly set. It's missing the iron.

Speaker 1 Midnight Burger is brought to you today by Shaker and Spoon, where you can get $20 off of any subscription by going to shakerandspoon.com/slash Midnight Burger.

Speaker 1 Cast members and avid cocktail makers Neil and Julie gave Shaker and Spoon a try.

Speaker 38 It's a cute little box and you open it up and it's filled with a whole bunch of recyclable packaging material and cute little bottles and fun instructions and really cute written postcards with recipes.

Speaker 1 Each monthly box arrives with three original recipes created by world-class bartenders as well as enough ingredients for 12 cocktails, four from each recipe.

Speaker 29 I mean I've got a pretty solid bar by most like home bar standards, but I don't like get things that they sent.

Speaker 29 Like I don't go out and buy black pepper walnut bitters and like cardamom bitters and they had a bunch of spice syrups mixed up and stuff.

Speaker 1 Each box revolves around one type of liquor. So just add one bottle of liquor and you're ready to go.

Speaker 38 It's all very clear because everything's labeled and each cocktail has its own ingredient card or instructions card. So

Speaker 38 each one has its own recipe and like backstory and everything on a card. So yeah, it's all easy to figure out.

Speaker 1 They'll have everything you need.

Speaker 1 Except for the egg.

Speaker 29 There are even two enormous lemons in there.

Speaker 24 There's actually food in there. Lemons.
Fresh citrus.

Speaker 29 So the only thing we needed was booze, and for one of the cocktails, we needed an egg. They didn't send an egg, which I think is prudent.

Speaker 1 Good idea. You can learn new techniques while creating excellent craft cocktails.

Speaker 29 They have sourced these cocktails from people in the business.

Speaker 29 And like, I'm checking the CVs on some of the people that they dropped, and they're like legit heavy hitters working at serious cocktail bars.

Speaker 1 It's also a great gift idea. Literally, all you need to know about your gifty is their email address.

Speaker 38 I think it would be good for really smart, cool, and beautiful people.

Speaker 29 Oh, like our listeners. Yes.
And one of the cool things here is that

Speaker 29 there's enough to make three different cocktails and to make four of each. So you could make it like a little social thing, right? Like have you people over? Hey, I got my new shaker and spoon box.

Speaker 29 Let's uh come over Friday night. Let's see what these are.

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Speaker 33 Ma'am.

Speaker 10 Yes, private.

Speaker 26 It looks like we reconnected to the well pump, so we should have running water again soon.

Speaker 11 Well, look at that.

Speaker 1 What a luxury.

Speaker 7 Lunch is here. Good.

Speaker 39 Would you help Deidre unload it, please?

Speaker 19 Yes, ma'am. Hey, Sarge.
Hello, Deidre. Things are looking better up here.

Speaker 39 Yes, apparently we even have running water again.

Speaker 19 Very luxurious.

Speaker 35 Oh, yes.

Speaker 26 It's like the four seasons.

Speaker 26 I'm going to have to get used to spacecraft passing overhead, aren't I?

Speaker 19 For the time being.

Speaker 26 I was a little disturbed by your broadcast this morning. This city, what is it called?

Speaker 4 Raxius?

Speaker 19 Yes.

Speaker 39 Doesn't sound like the safest place in the world to me.

Speaker 19 I know, but we're doing fine so far. And remember, it's not forever.
If it's anything like the last two times, it'll be six months, and then...

Speaker 26 And then we'll find ourselves somewhere else again.

Speaker 19 Yes. Looks like.

Speaker 4 I'm a little worried about my people, Deidre.

Speaker 26 I'm sure. Rebuilding the station has been a good project to keep everyone distracted, but when we're done, we'll be without a mission.

Speaker 26 And we military types don't do well in those situations.

Speaker 19 I'm sure there'll be plenty for you to do.

Speaker 4 Hey, Deidre?

Speaker 19 Hey, Debbie.

Speaker 27 So, is Steve not coming by today?

Speaker 19 Steve left me a message, but I think he was driving. I couldn't quite hear him.

Speaker 12 I think he was on a motorcycle.

Speaker 4 Okay, so he's he's gonna be here tomorrow, though. Uh,

Speaker 19 I think so.

Speaker 26 Private Kennedy is worried that Steve won't be here to deliver the marijuana he's been secretly providing to my people.

Speaker 28 Oh, they think I don't know about it, but guess what, Deidre?

Speaker 4 I'm.

Speaker 18 It's not for me.

Speaker 35 It's for... It's for another person.

Speaker 31 Uh-huh.

Speaker 39 Private, if you're not too high, could you unload the rest of the lunches, please? Yes, ma'am.

Speaker 19 Can you really blame them?

Speaker 39 Are you kidding? You should have seen me in high school.

Speaker 15 I had dreadlocks.

Speaker 33 You did?

Speaker 34 Deidre, are you with the Sergeant Major right now? I am. Sergeant, I'm afraid we need to have an emergency town meeting today at noon.
We've had some developments.

Speaker 33 Oh, good.

Speaker 39 Speaking of having something to do, do you think Frank's ever going to realize nothing is ever fixed by a town meeting?

Speaker 33 Nope.

Speaker 8 Great.

Speaker 20 Now, goddamn it.

Speaker 25 Helen!

Speaker 20 You're not going to dig a bunker. We're on a mountain.

Speaker 1 Are you digging into the bedrock with your fucking weed whacker?

Speaker 33 Hey, June.

Speaker 10 Hey, Deidre. How's Frank doing in there?

Speaker 19 He's completely exasperated. So he's in his element.

Speaker 10 Fantastic.

Speaker 19 So, um, Tabrock had a sword fight with an alien this morning.

Speaker 10 Oh, you should have seen it. It was beautiful.
Lots of people think he's all talk, but no, no. He's mostly sword.

Speaker 19 And this was after you snuck into the incredibly dangerous city and cheated at poker?

Speaker 26 I did not sneak, and I did not cheat. How dare you?

Speaker 19 You left your phone at the horizon so you wouldn't be detected.

Speaker 10 Okay, fine. It was a little sneaky.

Speaker 19 We're apparently in a pretty dangerous place, June.

Speaker 10 Deidre, what am I supposed to do? There's a sci-fi city two hours away and I'm supposed to sit at home and watch movies. Movies that will probably have a sci-fi city in them?

Speaker 19 This isn't a movie, June. It's real life.
And why does it feel so much like a movie?

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 14 Not the clipboard again. No, I just, I wanted to make a list of everyone's concerns and we can address them one at a time.
Give me the clipboard.

Speaker 25 Frank, give me the clipboard.

Speaker 22 Frank, I...

Speaker 19 I feel like these town meetings never have the intended effect.

Speaker 10 The intended effect is to keep us entertained, Drink it.

Speaker 12 Oh, okay.

Speaker 19 Well, in that case. I think when Frank instituted the no drinks before the meeting is over rule is when the wheels came off the wagon.
What's going on out here, ladies?

Speaker 10 Why are you asking? Can't you use your magical witchy poo powers and tell us?

Speaker 19 I can. Do you want me to? No.

Speaker 8 Freaks me out. Hmm.

Speaker 19 Virgin's up the mountain again.

Speaker 8 What's going on?

Speaker 10 See, like right there, that freaks me out.

Speaker 19 They've been really on edge ever since we got here. Lots of keeping a lookout and checking the perimeter.
Yeah, I can feel that.

Speaker 19 I hope you're taking time with each other.

Speaker 19 Intimacy is really going to help with a lot of this anxiety.

Speaker 8 Dr.

Speaker 1 Ruth in space over here.

Speaker 19 That goes for you too, June.

Speaker 8 Where is Tavrock right now?

Speaker 10 Why don't you tell me with your crystal ball?

Speaker 19 That was a rhetorical, June.

Speaker 33 He's chopping wood. I know he is.

Speaker 10 Side note.

Speaker 10 Medieval lifestyle, like 90% chopping wood.

Speaker 10 You do not not see that at the Ren Fair.

Speaker 19 I'm just saying, respectfully, that in times like these, you two need to make sure and be attentive to your relationships.

Speaker 10 That's all. Are we on space, Oprah, right now? What is happening? I'm especially talking to you, June.

Speaker 19 Deidre is in a relationship with a literal alien, which is somehow more likely than you being in a long-term relationship.

Speaker 8 Wow. Respectfully.

Speaker 10 Wow, trinket.

Speaker 19 I kind of feel that.

Speaker 10 I don't need your sick burns from the astral plane. Thank you.

Speaker 1 Y'all.

Speaker 19 Oh, Jesus. Whose idea was it to give Steve some sort of floaty bite?

Speaker 10 It kind of just happened. What up, Steve?

Speaker 2 Check it out.

Speaker 27 I learned how to park.

Speaker 9 Are you sure?

Speaker 3 Boom!

Speaker 10 Very impressive.

Speaker 22 Shit.

Speaker 19 Always with the trash can, but at least he's happy.

Speaker 2 Y'all, hey, check it out.

Speaker 27 So, i've been thinking about our situation right our situation a city full of bad guys and we're here like sitting ducks right our situation okay i've been thinking about it and uh

Speaker 27 i think i have a plan

Speaker 4 a plan

Speaker 10 yeah a plan a plan steve You realize that a plan entails a beginning and an end and several steps in between, right?

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 27 Yeah, it's got all that.

Speaker 4 Really?

Speaker 19 Okay, Steve.

Speaker 1 What's your plan?

Speaker 4 Well, hang on.

Speaker 10 I really think that Steve should unveil his plan for Frank in the town meeting, shouldn't he?

Speaker 4 Oh, God.

Speaker 25 I should.

Speaker 10 He's really going to want to hear it, isn't he, guys?

Speaker 19 I want to say no, but I have to watch it happen.

Speaker 28 Right?

Speaker 27 Let's get in there.

Speaker 8 Come on.

Speaker 12 Here we go. Woo!

Speaker 4 You guys go ahead.

Speaker 19 We're running LeWenchips. I need to borrow some from the store.

Speaker 9 Wish me luck, Deidre.

Speaker 4 Good luck.

Speaker 10 Frank, great news. Steve has a plan.

Speaker 19 Steve's got a plan.

Speaker 32 Well, well, what have we got here, Battle Pope?

Speaker 32 I didn't believe it myself, but there she is, Bugaboo.

Speaker 19 Uh, hello?

Speaker 32 You know, we usually don't traffic in rumors, do we, Battle Pope?

Speaker 5 No, we do not. But every once in a while, a whole town full of earthlings.

Speaker 32 You know what, Battle Pope?

Speaker 32 There is not one person out there who's going to believe us. We'll need some physical proof, won't we, Bugaboo?

Speaker 19 Who are you guys?

Speaker 32 Allow me to address her directly, if you don't mind, Battle Pope.

Speaker 5 Go right ahead, Bugaboo.

Speaker 32 Good evening, ma'am. My name is Bugaboo, and this is my associate, Battle Pope.

Speaker 19 What's this about?

Speaker 32 Well, we're just a couple of working stiffs, ma'am. And like all working stiffs, we have an employer.
An employer that relies on us to keep them informed of certain goings-on.

Speaker 17 And clearly, ma'am, something around here is going on.

Speaker 19 Look, we're just a town full of normal people trying to get through the day, all right?

Speaker 32 And what a laudable disposition that is.

Speaker 20 Don't you agree, Battle Poke?

Speaker 5 I do, bugaboo.

Speaker 32 But sadly, ma'am, there ain't no one keeping track of commendations these days.

Speaker 32 Now, ma'am, seeing as how you're an earthland and not read in on the the finer points of the world you find yourself in,

Speaker 32 let me be plain.

Speaker 32 This, ma'am,

Speaker 17 is a gun.

Speaker 8 And you're on the wrong end of it.

Speaker 32 But if you come along with us and you play nice, you won't need to worry about a thing.

Speaker 5 Oh, God.

Speaker 40 I should have known the first ones to show up would be you two fucking weevils.

Speaker 32 Well, now, do my eyes deceive me, Battlepoke?

Speaker 5 If they are, then mine are as well, Bugaboo.

Speaker 30 That's you, Verge. Well, it's not your fucking mother, is it?

Speaker 32 Aren't you supposed to be dead somewhere? In a jail somewhere?

Speaker 37 Probably.

Speaker 13 Hmm.

Speaker 30 I guess you guys just got lucky. Verge, it's okay, sweetie.

Speaker 32 Sweetie.

Speaker 32 Sweetie. Verge, have we stumbled upon a lass of note this afternoon?

Speaker 19 Lass.

Speaker 30 Lass of note.

Speaker 30 Why the fuck do you idiots talk this way?

Speaker 32 Verge, while your presence here is puzzling indeed, we have other business to attend to.

Speaker 30 Like abducting innocent people off the streets.

Speaker 32 They do say that.

Speaker 30 Elden.

Speaker 34 Bettle Pope and Bugaboo have never been marksmen, but they're both carrying boomhauers, which are fairly idiot-proof. Best not to risk it.

Speaker 30 I'm not sure what you two want with her, but how about instead of killing each other, I make you a deal.

Speaker 2 A deal? A deal?

Speaker 30 Verge, no matter what she's worth to you, I'm assuming I'm worth more.

Speaker 32 I'm not one one for arithmetic, but let's go ahead and assume in the positive.

Speaker 30 Fine.

Speaker 30 Me for her, then.

Speaker 19 Verge, what are you doing?

Speaker 34 Yes, what are you doing?

Speaker 35 It's fine, sweetie.

Speaker 13 Don't worry.

Speaker 32 And how do you imagine we arranged that?

Speaker 26 I'll go first.

Speaker 30 I've got my gun here, and I'm putting it on the ground.

Speaker 30 I'll leave my tangle on the ground as well.

Speaker 34 Oh, I'd love to know the thinking behind whatever this nonsense is.

Speaker 13 Shut up.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 30 Here I am.

Speaker 35 My hands are up.

Speaker 31 Let her go. And

Speaker 32 why don't we just shoot you dead right now, Verge?

Speaker 30 I don't have all my hands up, Bugaboo.

Speaker 5 All right, then.

Speaker 32 Why don't you run along, little lady? I'm afraid we're cutting bait for a bigger fish.

Speaker 30 Verge! Everything's going to be fine.

Speaker 32 Bring our right around, won't you, Battle Pope?

Speaker 5 I'd love to, Bugaboo.

Speaker 34 Any last words?

Speaker 19 Yes.

Speaker 27 You worry too much.

Speaker 19 What are you doing? This is a terrible idea.

Speaker 30 I need you to trust me, okay?

Speaker 32 Right this way, Verge.

Speaker 30 Trust me.

Speaker 4 Oh my god.

Speaker 4 What do we do?

Speaker 34 They've either got some sort of plan or they're just hoping it all works out.

Speaker 8 Go get Frank. Okay.

Speaker 34 And I suppose I'll just lay here on the sidewalk

Speaker 32 We have achieved orbit, setting course for the galaxy brain. How do you think our guests is doing back there, Bugaboo? Do you think the restraints are too tight? I'd hate for them to be uncomfortable.

Speaker 32 They are famous for being comfortable in tight spots, Battle Poe. Shall I send a message to the Galaxy Brain, Bugaboo?

Speaker 32 Let them know about the big fish we're about to reel in. It would give them time to roll out the red carpet, Battlepo.

Speaker 30 I wouldn't do that if I were you, fellas. It's a long ride back to the Galaxy Brain, and and you don't want to advertise to your colleagues that you've got a big prize on board.

Speaker 30 I mean, pirates do so love to, you know, pirate from each other.

Speaker 4 Well, look at that.

Speaker 32 Out of the mouths of babes. We'll keep it to ourselves for the time being, Bugaboo.

Speaker 30 What's the bounty on me up to these days?

Speaker 30 Are you guys gonna finally upgrade this piece of shit cruiser?

Speaker 5 Oh, we're way past that.

Speaker 32 We hear tell that the lucky pirate who brings you in gets an entire cluster of systems all to themselves.

Speaker 6 The Lord of all you survey.

Speaker 32 Really? You're taking us to the big-time verge.

Speaker 32 Wow.

Speaker 30 I can't think of anyone who doesn't deserve it more than you two.

Speaker 4 Stop it. We're blushing.

Speaker 4 Well, I'll be damned.

Speaker 8 What's the problem, Battle Pope?

Speaker 32 We appear to have a disconnect to the reactor vent.

Speaker 5 I do hate that.

Speaker 32 As do I.

Speaker 32 We're not going to go anywhere with the reactor disconnect. And which one of us do we think is going to head outside and fix it, Battle Bug?

Speaker 32 Well, I suppose you were the last one out in the black, weren't you? Spent a whole oxygen tank changing the floodlights not

Speaker 32 ten days ago. Well, then, I must do my part, mustn't I, Bugaboo? No, I and team and all that.

Speaker 5 When, oh, when will the work all be done?

Speaker 1 When you're dead?

Speaker 32 When I'm dead, or uh, when I'm rich.

Speaker 32 Let's see which comes first, shall we?

Speaker 30 A whole cluster of systems.

Speaker 31 Just for little old me, huh?

Speaker 2 You heard right.

Speaker 30 Honestly, it's

Speaker 30 a bit hard to imagine what I could have done to

Speaker 30 warrant such a high price.

Speaker 32 We're not one to ask questions first.

Speaker 32 We are to simply apply our skills to the marketplace and reap the benefits.

Speaker 32 Though it does suggest a bit of history between you and our employer.

Speaker 30 Just a little bit of history.

Speaker 26 Everything okay up there?

Speaker 32 We appear to have another disconnect.

Speaker 5 Battle Pope, we have yet another disconnect.

Speaker 32 What's our situation out there?

Speaker 4 Battle Pope?

Speaker 4 Oh, hell.

Speaker 28 Maybe he got lost.

Speaker 32 While I'm out there, try and keep in mind that as your pilot, our fates are intertwined.

Speaker 30 Sure.

Speaker 6 I'll just wait here then.

Speaker 6 Uh

Speaker 6 hi, Frank.

Speaker 20 Hey

Speaker 8 um

Speaker 40 Frank, did did you just

Speaker 30 did you just ride the spaceship in orbit?

Speaker 3 Uh

Speaker 1 uh yes, that appears to be what I have done.

Speaker 12 Yes,

Speaker 22 okay,

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 1 this is space.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 17 How do you like it?

Speaker 1 It's very cold. It's so fucking cold.

Speaker 30 Especially on the outside, I would imagine.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 12 Especially on the outside.

Speaker 30 Frank, I have a lot of questions.

Speaker 20 Yeah, yeah, me too.

Speaker 1 Well, look, Trinka told me where the ship was. It was firing up.
So I jumped on. I wasn't really thinking about it.

Speaker 26 Frank, most people think

Speaker 4 very,

Speaker 9 very hard about something like that.

Speaker 30 Jesus fucking Christ.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I imagine. Yeah, they're a bit worried down on the ground.

Speaker 30 You do realize that what you did was impossible, right?

Speaker 30 That's not a thing that people do.

Speaker 3 Well, oh, I don't know. I mean, geez.

Speaker 1 Hey, that's what they said to the Wright brothers.

Speaker 6 Who are the Wright brothers?

Speaker 3 Never mind.

Speaker 1 How do I get you out of those restraints? Oh.

Speaker 30 I'm already out of them.

Speaker 15 What?

Speaker 31 Yeah, I'm a bit hard to contain.

Speaker 4 Well,

Speaker 1 but then why are you...

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 30 I see.

Speaker 30 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You had a little plan, didn't you?

Speaker 30 I was gonna pump them for information and then take over the ship.

Speaker 6 Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 So the impressive feat of me surviving the void of space was completely pointless. Not completely.

Speaker 30 Look at the majestic view.

Speaker 1 Nope, I hate majestic views.

Speaker 6 Frank,

Speaker 30 this is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, Burge, I imagine the bar is quite low on that.

Speaker 30 Oh, baby, it's so low. Okay.

Speaker 1 So, please tell me you know how to fly this thing.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I can.

Speaker 30 You are, however, gonna have to go back outside and plug in whatever you unplugged out there.

Speaker 3 Oh, motherfucker shit.

Speaker 20 Okay.

Speaker 1 Here I go.

Speaker 30 I'll make some cocoa.

Speaker 23 The fuck off!

Speaker 1 Why does it take so much longer to get back than it took to get into space?

Speaker 30 I had to take a longer route so that we weren't followed.

Speaker 23 Fine.

Speaker 1 Okay, look, I just had to do a reverse Doctor Strangelove into space to keep you from being abducted by psychotic space twins.

Speaker 1 This is what? Day five?

Speaker 1 Are we going to be able to make it through this?

Speaker 30 Remember, I told you about my home planet, the one that's a black hole now. Yeah.
When that happened, it completely screwed this part of Andromeda.

Speaker 30 It's very hard to get in or out of the Iron Quadrant now, and it's made life very hard for a lot of people.

Speaker 30 In an environment like that, the same thing happened that always happens.

Speaker 30 It gets taken over by some very bad people.

Speaker 30 It's total chaos in this part of the galaxy, and the people who run it like it that way.

Speaker 30 There's a pirate named Loftrax.

Speaker 31 They're incredibly powerful.

Speaker 30 They run nearly all of the crime across three galaxies.

Speaker 26 The one place they can't quite seem to control

Speaker 33 right here.

Speaker 31 The Iron Quadrant.

Speaker 30 How we stay safe, tucked in here on this mountain,

Speaker 30 I've got no idea.

Speaker 30 And we need a plan?

Speaker 30 But I have no clue what that is.

Speaker 6 What?

Speaker 1 Where is everyone?

Speaker 23 Hmm.

Speaker 1 Oh, Frank. Doug, where is everybody?

Speaker 1 Doug, um, why are you wearing a headset?

Speaker 28 Oh, uh, so I can communicate better. Hi, Verge.
Hi.

Speaker 13 Oh, here's Eldon.

Speaker 8 Welcome back.

Speaker 34 There's been some developments.

Speaker 1 What kind of developments? The very special kind.

Speaker 14 Trinket said that there is a vehicle on the way up the mountain, and there's a few people in it.

Speaker 13 Oh, shit.

Speaker 14 Yes, so while you were gone, we needed to make some very quick decisions, and so we had to make a plan.

Speaker 28 Yes, they did. Plans were made.

Speaker 30 What's the plan?

Speaker 22 Um,

Speaker 34 well, AG Steve had a plan, Frank.

Speaker 3 What?

Speaker 28 You heard me. No, no,

Speaker 14 I know it sounds crazy, but the more we talked about it, the more we thought that, well, that no one else had a plan.

Speaker 28 Oh,

Speaker 1 right. And that's not a good enough reason, Doug.

Speaker 14 Yes, and that is what I said at first. But see, in the end, we just, we opted for a plan over over

Speaker 2 no plan. Nope.

Speaker 1 Hard disagree, Doug.

Speaker 14 Well, it is too late for that. Now, Frank, the wheels are in motion.

Speaker 1 Oh, God.

Speaker 25 Doug,

Speaker 1 what is Steve's plan?

Speaker 11 So...

Speaker 34 Verge, I'm sorry you won't be able to witness the glory, but you'd better make yourself scarce before this vehicle arrives.

Speaker 25 Yes.

Speaker 1 Oh, oh, but if you could please, please leave Elden with us.

Speaker 14 We're going to need all the help we can get.

Speaker 1 Shit.

Speaker 30 Well, Frank, good luck with whatever this is.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 30 tell Deidre I'll be back at her place.

Speaker 5 Doug.

Speaker 37 Okay, um, everyone,

Speaker 14 get into position, cause here we go.

Speaker 11 Whoa.

Speaker 3 Do you see?

Speaker 3 You called me a liar.

Speaker 13 I can't believe it.

Speaker 12 There is a whole town full of them.

Speaker 20 Who knows how long they've been hiding here?

Speaker 21 This is so weird. How can this whole place have been hidden here?

Speaker 11 It doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 27 Well, hey there, folks. It's a sight to behold, isn't it? Street signs, shops, bars, even the trees look like they came from Earth, don't they?

Speaker 21 I didn't even notice the tree.

Speaker 27 You know what?

Speaker 27 Getting out of the Iron Quadrant is almost impossible these days, isn't it? No opportunities to get out and see all the wonders of the triad.

Speaker 28 And we think that's just a crime.

Speaker 11 Who is this guy?

Speaker 27 Wouldn't it be nice to get away just for a few hours? Go somewhere there's no technology, no rat race, and most importantly, no Ted Empire, am I right?

Speaker 21 That does sound kind of nice.

Speaker 27 Wouldn't it be nice to go to the land of your dreams? A place that you only see on Earth Portal. A place that looks like where your dreams come from.

Speaker 27 Welcome, my friends, to Earthland.

Speaker 8 You're the townspeople. Earthland?

Speaker 11 Where did all these people come from?

Speaker 27 Here at Earthland, all our employees wear next-generation Earth suits so that all of us look exactly like the Earthlings you see on TV.

Speaker 39 I'm wearing one too.

Speaker 27 Go ahead, give me a poke.

Speaker 21 Wow, he feels so real.

Speaker 4 And that's not all.

Speaker 27 Stroll down the street to Peppercorn Shop and Go and shop at an authentic Earth convenience store.

Speaker 11 Do they have bugles?

Speaker 37 A man after my own art.

Speaker 27 You bet you're sweet Bippy they've got bugles. And when you're done there, take a load off at the Sheep's Eye Roadhouse, where Deidre's got all the authentic Earth spirits you could ever want.

Speaker 19 Come on by, I'll be waiting for you.

Speaker 27 Or, if you're feeling adventurous, duck inside the New Age Emporium and meet the Earth Witch.

Speaker 3 You drink it?

Speaker 35 Greetings!

Speaker 40 I am the Earth Witch.

Speaker 19 Come inside, and I shall tell you your destiny.

Speaker 8 That is so fucking cool.

Speaker 27 And you can walk up to anyone in Earthland, and they'll have a truly authentic Earth story to tell you.

Speaker 14 Thank you, Celeste, and stand by Junior.

Speaker 18 Hey, look there!

Speaker 27 It's Sergeant Celeste. Hey there, Sarge.

Speaker 24 Uh, yes.

Speaker 24 Yes, Hello there.

Speaker 9 I hope you're enjoying your time here at Earthland.

Speaker 9 Myself and my men are here to make sure that everyone has a safe and happy time.

Speaker 10 Don't make me throw you in our secret prison.

Speaker 20 Yes, sir.

Speaker 12 Yes, sir.

Speaker 27 And look, here's townsperson June.

Speaker 11 Hey!

Speaker 10 I know these guys.

Speaker 12 This is the one who stole from me.

Speaker 10 Jesus Shorts, would you lighten up, please?

Speaker 10 yeah snorts seriously we were all there snorts hey june who's that you've got with you well this happens to be the mayor steve dogs are mares on earth that's right little known fact hey come on by the sheep's eye and i'll tell you about the time i almost met leonardo diCaprio the guy from growing paint

Speaker 19 Sure.

Speaker 27 And if you'd like to leave town, the adventure doesn't stop here. We've got an entire forest full of Earth flora and fauna ready for you to observe.

Speaker 1 Doug, is there going to be a musical number?

Speaker 14 Well, no, we didn't have time, but I am writing that down as a possibility.

Speaker 1 Don't, do not write that down.

Speaker 27 And hey, if there's too much you want to try here at Earthland, maybe think about staying the night. Head on over to the horizon and stay in an authentic Earth motel.

Speaker 27 Frank will be waiting there to give you the keys to comfort.

Speaker 2 Isn't that right, Frank?

Speaker 27 Uh-huh. From the bars to the shops to the natural wonders, we've got everything you need here at Earthland.
The only question is: what do you do first?

Speaker 21 I'm gonna see the Earth Witch.

Speaker 11 I'm gonna get some bugles.

Speaker 27 And how about you, sir?

Speaker 16 I.

Speaker 20 I would like to have a strawberry margarita.

Speaker 13 You've got it, my friend.

Speaker 27 Right this way.

Speaker 27 Oh,

Speaker 18 oh, my God.

Speaker 18 Oh, my God. That worked.

Speaker 14 Frank,

Speaker 14 I think it worked.

Speaker 1 I fucking quit.

Speaker 23 Hey, honey.

Speaker 27 How was your day?

Speaker 19 Aliens are crazy.

Speaker 35 So I hear.

Speaker 19 Those three guys. Yeah, they called all their friends, and then their friends called their friends.
And before I knew it, the town was packed with them.

Speaker 19 It's like Mardi Gras.

Speaker 28 Well, gosh.

Speaker 30 How did you get away?

Speaker 19 Steve had to take over.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 30 Anyone give you any trouble?

Speaker 19 Look, I know you told me that this place is full of dangerous criminals, but they were all like little kids when they walked into that town.

Speaker 19 They fucking love Earth.

Speaker 12 They do.

Speaker 19 It was.

Speaker 19 What is this? Oh,

Speaker 6 I, um.

Speaker 27 I made dinner.

Speaker 19 You made sweet potatoes. Well,

Speaker 33 I think I did.

Speaker 30 You know, I don't really do vegetables, so I don't know.

Speaker 4 You're kidding me.

Speaker 30 Did I do it wrong?

Speaker 19 You're like one of the most dangerous people in the galaxy or whatever, and you're just sitting here making me sweet potatoes.

Speaker 6 How far they fall, right?

Speaker 19 Get your ass in the bedroom.

Speaker 23 Oh.

Speaker 6 But

Speaker 6 sweetheart.

Speaker 12 I made dinner.

Speaker 4 Uh-huh.

Speaker 19 I don't care.

Speaker 4 Get in there. Oh.

Speaker 30 Okay, and just to be, you're gonna, you're gonna follow me into the bedroom, I'm saying.

Speaker 19 Yeah, that is kind of how it works.

Speaker 6 Oh, goody.

Speaker 33 Motherfucker, okay.

Speaker 4 Fuck. Hang on.

Speaker 25 Frank. Hey.
Oh, hey, Deidre. Hey, Frank.
What's up?

Speaker 1 I am so sorry to interrupt the

Speaker 1 sweet potato.

Speaker 30 That's not what you're interrupting, Frank. What's up?

Speaker 13 Oh,

Speaker 3 right. Uh.

Speaker 1 Looks like another friend of yours has shown up.

Speaker 4 Fuck, who is it?

Speaker 1 Uh, would you happen to know a guy named Laif?

Speaker 19 What

Speaker 1 Welcome to the Horizon is brought to you in part by our Monte Cristo level and above supporters: Wilson, Billy, Burt Bert, Bethany, Second Bethany, NB Bethany's Cut Your Car in Half With a Laser Saw, Arnold Rumspringer, The Demise of the Temple of Bethany's, Battling Bethany Basaurus Rexes, espied by Recy Pontiff, David Muster's server manager, ready to serve all the Bethanies of Monte Cristo, CJ's big barbecue bistro for Bethany's, Tybalt the Bethany, still Casper's number one fan, but now armed with the quantum spatula and ready to duel every Bethany in the multiverse with breakfast wisdom.

Speaker 1 Jalen Lanaris, secretly an Envy Bethany. Bethany 2, Electric Boogaloo.
You call her Bethany.

Speaker 13 I call her Headphony.

Speaker 1 Siona the Goblins ride to the aid of the Bethanies. Alexandre Laroque has brought La Guillotine to assist the Bethanies in their survival war.
Vive la Révolution. Wandering Bethany Biscuit.

Speaker 1 I pushed her, Bethany, that is. The Bethanies demand more Omega Station.
Cowboy and Sasquatch hunts Bethany's. Bethany picking apples in a green field.

Speaker 1 My hot wife Bethany calls this show Spaceburger all the time. Dr.
Professor Rev. Bethany Wethany Woofie McFluffenberger, MDPHD Esquire, and that's not pretentious at all,

Speaker 1 is looking for a cure to the Bethany mutation that the Society of Bethany's began the war with so many years ago. Bethany, the Lone Star Edition.

Speaker 1 The Julius Bohannon Foundation, the coalition of patrons named Bethany, and contributions to your TED station from viewers like you. The faceless old Bethany, who secretly lives in your home.

Speaker 1 Byro the motherfucking dragon is willing to solve the Bethany war with Yahtzee. Eris, Goddess of Bethany's.
There are only 107 MB fanfiction and no Bethany. The Bethany of Bethanies.

Speaker 1 Chad Hatter, space mage in the war against the Bethanies.

Speaker 1 Wilbur Winklewright, Wristwatch Wrangler of West Worcestershire, bamboozled by the bajillions of bustling Bethany's Bethanies, belligerently blocking his sight of the devious Rednell.

Speaker 1 Rednell, hiding in a crowd of Bethanies to avoid capture by Wily Wilbur Winklewright, wristwatch Wrangler of West Worcestershire. Bethany in a random place.
Billy Rose stole my Bethany's.

Speaker 1 Chase and her army of turtles join the Bethany War. I'm Ava's twin sister, Bethany.
Hicks Bethany Mates. My milkshake brings all the Bethany's to the diner.

Speaker 1 Bethany the 23rd stirs in their spring brew with an errant popsicle stick. Green Mountain Hermit might be allergic to Bethany stew.
Bubble Butt Bethany has banana breath. Bailey Bethany Burr.

Speaker 1 Joji the Birdwatcher disguised as a Bethany. If war is your game, Bethany is your name.

Speaker 1 In the mysterious AZHQ, I grant you that we have a multiplicity of mics, a jumble of James's, a trifecta of Tony's, one of whom still wants to be Laf, but sadly, no Bethany's.

Speaker 1 Glorbnar 7, now granting refugee status to victims fleeing the Bethany Wars. Alphonse Suit Person, Knight of the Order of Bethany's.
But Bethany, I made biscuits. Beth Annie, hold the Beth.
Mr.

Speaker 1 Squizzle Sizizzle, Wizzlefizzle the Horrendous, apologizes for conspiring in the Bethany War. Invites for tea are being sent now.

Speaker 1 Whom, what, when, where, why, and Billy Rose would like to be at the beginning to say hello to all the Bethanies, no matter the disputes. Lady Bethany, aka Mrs.

Speaker 1 Turkey Spit, Paste Jellyfish, Jonald Grimbus, Taz Manick Starting the Shift at 6, Matt Knight, Boo Shager, Damitri, Andromeda, Stephen The Choi, Brooke Shelton, Gabriel, The Treasure Trove of Troublesome Trolls, Cole Bond 287, Alex Zapata, Jason McDonald, Harley Myers, Ben Dino, Philip Laneck, Hugh Jass, J2, Brian Montgomery, Artemis Record, Safa Aluzi, Trev Brax, The Bard Without a Ballad or a Mallet, Nazo, Platform Jail Mechanism, Burn Toast Theorist, Hold Please, Kay Kayao.

Speaker 1 Happy birthday, Victoria, from your brother Isaac, Anna Garcia, Kyle Koppic, Rays of Nope, Ruby Booth, Bubberduckle, Yaegor Luce, Terry Cadz, Tari and Roundtree, Catalyst for Chaos, Sculliver, Matt Lucido, Sam and Shane, Tanner Golf, Casava Vacation, Hashtag 2025, V, Gorgon Lightfoot, Ma Dukes, U.S.

Speaker 1 Marshal Stacey, Ooh, Chickadee, Taryn of the Guild of Free Cartographers, Sweet Chaos 7, Dango Dale, Colin Esterlund.

Speaker 1 At every moment, in every corner of every possible world, there is always a way home, and it's already found you.

Speaker 1 Jao Paulo Lamos, Oddkeep, the Sentient Lighthouse, Deshane, Tanya Fisher, Appalachian Death Queen, Anya Tiepelt, Jen Yelton, Zachary DeFeo, Kevin Winan, Marlon C., Madame Perry, Cherish Hellfire, The Mistress of Time and Space, Join My Cult, Get a Cookie, Lichen Lady, Midnight Club, Cameron Agnesy West, Knox, Nissaloo, Emmett Hale, The Triad's Baddest Goblin, Emery and Llano, James Miles, Browncoats Love the Diner, Ellery Hamilton, Max and Nia and Ivan's Mark, Minion Simone Mimi Davis, Misty Dawn Mitchell Jr., Gaia Turtle, Wayne Barrahona, Jesse the Dragon Rider, We Will Not Rest Until Puerto Rico and Palestine Are Free, Kaylee Heights, Radio Ghoul, Nissy's Mom, Poké Splort, Whiskey Rebellion and Gin Riot's Interdimensional Detective Agency, Zephyr Vitriol, Altreon, Riley Flynn, Gother Laith, William Lemoyne, Lemoyne, Jen and Britt, Adriana Bartolomucci, Jonah is Gay, Ulfheimer, Slater Morales, Honey Cooper, Benjamin Ortiz, Tim Lynch, Lizzie R., Crushable Hale53, Definitely Not Kevin, Phantom Zone, King Felix Blaze of the Galactic Third Street Saints, Dorothy Graves, Nick Gomez, It's Just Tyson Now, Betty Hayes and the B-Team, What the Hell, Cineplex, and all the black people in North Carolina.

Speaker 1 Gix the Norwegian Viking Impersonator, Truckstop Sandwich, Brian Pasley, Chris Hytree, Captain Emerald L, Damian Fletterjohn, Professor Freyda, The Midnight Ashes, Hornetti, Balion Fair, The Night of Silver Flames, Unpaid Intern that can barely afford $10 a month, but fuck it, you guys earned it.

Speaker 1 Nicolette Williams, Patricia, who's always late but somehow on time, DC Squirrel, Ryan, Kyle the Interstellar Highwayman, Shelly Act on the Verge, Gail Friend, Uncle Denzo and Aunt Buffy have dinner with dad every Wednesday at 6.

Speaker 1 Rubber Cake, Clover the Clown, The Sparky Tech, Prop the Crocodor, Dakota L, Jazz Punker, Captain Tight Pants and the Companion, Kentucky Cried Frickin', Renee N, Sleep is for Wimps, Catherine Beach, Isaiah Garcia, R.I.P.

Speaker 1 Eloise Waffles, The Floof Wrangler, Aki the Space Druid, Phantom Land TTRPG Dice, K-8 the Curiouser, Moxie, a Blacksmith, Lil Birch and Her Beaches, Jason, HVAC Tech for the Diner's Deep Freeze, Aaron James Tyrone Barlow, the first of his name, S.K.

Speaker 1 Phoenix, Glitch the Gamer Error, Zephyr Foxworth, Ted Ted and Teddy, Merry Face, Luon Cherry, Peppermint Pearl The Interdimensional Space and Tea Time Witch, Nicole 6-4, Amara Salazar, Banjo Buscalo, Full Beans, Gloria's Forgotten Ford Festiva, Brandon Wright, I'm Dus Boot, This Is For You, Mark Scott, Rosie Mum, The Judah, Big Willow, The Replacement Proctologist for the Justine Burbank System, Max Powers, Angel Vasquez, Tara, Steven Raymer, J.

Speaker 1 Carp Fishman, Mistress Roxy Mornette, The Great Goblino, Low Oxygen, Save the Munos, Nye, Lilac Marcella.

Speaker 1 The pressure to come up with a clever username has kept me from subscribing for too long, so fuck it.

Speaker 1 Your Majesty, Stealth, Temporal Hash Brown, Diane Brown, Mags, Captain No Sleep, The Slim Reaper, Ruben Eden, Smedley P.

Speaker 1 Snodgrass III, The Shreve Port Bohannans, CC the Umbrella Mage, Bradbury Sasquatch, Din, Cosmic Ketchup, Lack of Lifestyle, August the Schmoggest, and Haas Fest, Ashley Davis, Mousy, Leaf is a considerably less silly goo-woo woo-woo woos now.

Speaker 1 Postmaster General Kwan sent me.

Speaker 1 Lake Bosmagian, Nitwit 14, Royaled WAY Too Harshly, DJ Johnny B, The Solemn Prince of the Forgotten Mountain, Marco Montano, Shiny Fields, Adam Tachek, Christopher Wendell, All Anus Morissette, Unproductive Banana, Pultsifer the Paulist of Paulism, Spencer F., Zombie Spider-Man, Alondra, The Sorcerer Sanguine, and The Pretty One with the Face, Bex823, Auntie Cryptid, Barry Heap, Gas Mask Penguin, Mime Ninjas Ninja Mime, Master Ugwe, Barry, Dilly is Dallying, Podcast Junkie, Futile Screaming at the Ocean, Fox Hatlin, Dylan Karone, Pedro Vibresto, Penny Sparkles, Slider, DiBetri, Julian Rhodes, Maple Emily, the gayest library janitor in Indiana, the wife named the cat Casper, turns out it's a girl, Physic the Goodbush, Scout Mistress and her phalanx of intergalactic Eagle Scouts, Happy Birthday, Angie from Midnight

Speaker 1 Murder, Vapus 10's Big Black Gaping Hole, Gubrious, you know, like Lugubrious Without the Lou, Bruce, Jessica Gaiogamma, Cabernet Corsair, Toracle, Jenny the Bear, Grr.

Speaker 1 Bellringer, Serdine Thorne, Treach, Josie Jones, Mr. Fibble is very cross, Hot Potato, Dr.
Mojo, Tinker Gestalt, Blind Time Traveler, Convention Date, LA Woman, The Phoenix Rising, New Name, God.

Speaker 1 No, not him.

Speaker 1 Jeff Andrew, sure, Jeff Andrew, Miss Luann, a British woman with cute dogs, Cup of Noodles, Shmizzy Two Shoes, Luna Nova, Nicholas Griffith, Matt Grigsby, Justin Smallin, Riku31, Craig Dundee, The Names Knight with a K, Astral C, Ickleby Pickle Me, TickleMe 2, Witch Loud, Guy with the Chops, Sam, Bagel Knife, Inmelda and Scott, Courtney Cochran, Lily Starling, Ryan K, Nate, Forklift, Lifts Forks for Cliff, Vince M, Brick Brick, Chip, Radio Free Relia, Violin Loves Biddy, Joanna Banks, Subawasa, Grinna, Piston Whip, Captain Ducky, Blitz Bell, Retro Dagwood.

Speaker 1 Our overhead is way too high with all these names, and please make sure to turn in all your receipts. Love, Josh from Accounting.
Satsuma, silliest goose, Dr.

Speaker 1 Jones, Verge on a Vespa, Coach Shane of Toad Sucks Central, Go Cranes, Cole Arthur, Lego Croissant, Cassad, Norwin Murgler, The Star Set Messengers want to know how that vanilla flavor is treating you.

Speaker 1 Joe Kapa, Weeby Choppenbrock Ale, hey, Kyle, the hacker known as Ivy DeBerb, Edwin McDonald, a feisty-ass chickadee, Poultry Landmine, the scrappy poet, Jenny the Crypted Paladin, Maverick Artist, shit, it was a mimic, Basil in their tea, waiting to gossip with David, Ainsley.

Speaker 1 Angnor. ATB.
Kiwi Lovelybee. Zoe.
Michelle Spurgeon. Jack the Sleepy.
Garrett Henderson Two. Tried to find the diner bathroom.
Ended up in the freezer. Time's frozen.
So's my dignity. Sen TP.

Speaker 1 Son of Defarge. Whisko Teach.
Scott A. Snellgrove.
Give Peas a Chance. Casper's Cult.
Sam Alema Dang Dong. Sarah.
That's it. Just Sarah.
Ricardo Galamba. Kari's Crafty Cloaking Devices LLC.

Speaker 1 Hashtag WeWeaveEm of Gossamer. Swither and Sister.
Deeringer.

Speaker 1 Penny the Wonder Dog and Bucky von Buckbuck, Kentex Oridian, Cherry Appleby, Medium Rare Extra Toasted Bun, Saucy Caesar, Belt, Unemployed Assassin Snowplow, Mick J67, Ava's favorite My Little Pony pencil.

Speaker 1 Is this thing recording? Mr. and Mrs.

Speaker 1 Drifter, representative of the Alaska Midnight Burger Tummy Time Chapter, Nathaniel Lee Industries, Lord Entropy, Bach Bach motherfucker, everybody's favorite clown Splotchy, Pinstrike Algorithm, Kosher Steak, Alyssa's Shiny Pants, Gondor Calls for Aid, Muscles Fatitz, Teratopsis, Kitty McSkull, Ravenstrom Dance, Hapless Novelist Passenger of the Dimensionally Impermanent and Temporally Incontinent Bookshop Cafe, The Wild-Eyed Prophet, Tessa Craig, Perfectly Personalized Disaster, Richard Schofeld, Jim Turner, Felix Sullivan, Davey De Niro, Big Chunk, Goodeeds, Death by Tennis, Boom Boom's Wooden Leg, Will the Real Muadib please stand up?

Speaker 1 Kitty Cat and Lollipup can't get enough of this. Udon 96.
Whoa, take a deep breath, Casper. You've earned it.
Tracy Baby, Leah.

Speaker 1 Is that the Chris Hancock who traded weekly soup for the use of my kitchen table? A singular nightbird. I am the lizard frantically firing flachette guns.
Bumblefey, Mr.

Speaker 1 Epsilon, the Mothman, Long-Haired Matt, DJ, Lenny Harris, Robert W., Brilzebub, Krezimira, Jessica Lorin, Mayday Hoops, The Bean Wizard. Myth and Stitch Embroidery loves the Mucklewains.

Speaker 1 Lulu Louise, Dulio, the Brew Crew Family. Burt Ruba, Jeffree George, even older Whimsy, Ellie, Don't Tariff Me, Bro.
Oopsie, Oopsie, Evlin, the Wizard Mooses holds out their cat for you to pet.

Speaker 1 Grimlore, Existential Pancakes, Geniewaboom, Im Horowitz, Isle of Refuge, Cappy, Jack Spider's Bomb, Tyler Edwards, Llama Fresh, Jer the Benevolent Destroyer, Valtiel Heller, Revan the Red Beard Wizard, Burt Bird and the Funky Bunch, Karora the 12th, Shh.

Speaker 1 Just listen. ZomCon, welcome to the Kwan Pound.
Pen, pen, pen, pen, pen, pen, pen. Mr.
Muchacho Kaiserschnitzel, leader of the Truffle Puffs Fight Club. The Wolves in the Deep Freeze Say Awoo!

Speaker 1 Julie Hammond, Sanctuary Moon's number two fans, Simpson, Jason, Alice Lewis, Simply Amy Sue, Even Older Liz, McBearcat, Grack Pinfeather, Siddiquin Druidic Scientist, Astro, your friendly neighborhood android, Moonlight Zombie Fox, Old Doc Racy, the Midnight Missionary, out there somewhere looking for you, Grandma Panty, JS, Eldritch Ender, Squunky,

Speaker 1 Artist Dragonborn, Big Big Garage, Shaloma, Bill Zangana Lester, Lester, Joaquin Jimenez, Sam Passau, Muffins, Space Wives, Captain Jack Harkness once Peter the Robot, Oreo, Oreo, no wait, pineapple, actually never mind, Oreo, Banana Manaz, a Corgi Cold Kibble, Cuddly Kraken, Life's a Lode Studio, and his wife Mega Nader.

Speaker 1 The game. Damn it, you made Ghostblade Heidelon lose the game, and now everyone else has lost too.

Speaker 1 Axel Light, Sarge the Bard, Seminity, Rielfen, LL Cool Mint Jams, Travis Roberticus, The Other Original Caitlin, Kendaddy, Celestiani, Hazel the Jaded Umbra pulls out a marker and approaches Sign My Shovel to Sign Sign My Shovel Shovel.

Speaker 1 Leah Aizadi, Millie Was Taken, Hannes, Ben Camp, Shan Man Man Man, Karma Karma Chameleon, Kinran, Wabajack, Zoe and Her Army of Mice, Daniel, Sammy the Baby Seal, I have always relied on the kindness of diners, Dr.

Speaker 1 Bootiologist the Glutes Doctor, Hood's Pocket Tourism Association reminds you that loner pants can be found outside City Hall. Enjoy your stay.
Tobias Ewing. Thank you for pressing too.

Speaker 1 Your Anglophone Emotional Support Canadian request will be processed in the order in which it was received. R.I.P.
Lance McLean, you would have loved Midnight Burger. Adam Tokelove, Dr.

Speaker 1 Bitchcraft, Sassy Cat the Space Fixen, Claire Rock, Eros Dagode, the Size 2 Fish You've Been Looking For. Eokai, Borgia, Natasha Without Boris, Spiders Are Cuddly.
Lafayette Lasagna Lovers 1.

Speaker 1 Main Immortal Billy Rose that has all the corn dogs. Cheal Neal.
Sin City Scuba Steve, Pollywog, Jinx the Cat would like to offer you biscuits.

Speaker 1 Michaela White, Elena Pickle, Professor Thaddeus Snookums VIII, Mr. Grin, Glenn Protovsky, True Trans Traveler.
This moment of silence so Joe can catch his breath is brought to you by Rick Tyler.

Speaker 1 Elizabeth Hammond, CheapCon. Yeah, you heard me, Greg, Laramie, and Drop.
CheapCon, Funch Brunglin, Steam Vision, Conductor of the Interdimensional Time Spanning Hype Train.

Speaker 1 Dave Harold, WiseCube, Dirty Diaper Fussbutt, and the Piggy Brunt. BroMine, pronounced Bro, Mine.
Mein Hamdenga, Mother of Pearl, Il Chingon.

Speaker 1 Sealface, Rigger Mortise, Megan's Things, Things Megan Makes, Shiny Fields, Magical Maggie, Trebek's Reject, Prophet of the God of the Mucklewains, Matthew with two T's, the first T is silent.

Speaker 1 Laif loves laser guns left lying lackadaisically by Labuza. Igneous Burp, Darth Ox.
This brief pause is brought to you by Michelle Kay's wish for Joe to catch his breath. Dream on, Michelle.

Speaker 1 Aaron Arnold, Mamamander B-Raz, and Sluntmaster J. Valen Real.
Tell the Australian Firefighter I'm sending a fax.

Speaker 1 Elliot Paints, Undead Akira, Broom Goddess, The Lord Reverend, Porgatos Pex, The Unselling Wizard, Bar and Grill, now serving night breakfast, y'all.

Speaker 1 Ryan, Thomas's 10 tenebras tan staffled tippers treading treacherously tantamount to telling totalitarian trope termination tales. Ladies, for your pleasure, Chuck Naked.
The lovely Lara Lovely.

Speaker 1 Kith Gamshee, Sam Wise's flaming cousin, Dariel, Jerry the Ruler, Goachi, Hair Hawks, Jacob Mitchell, Swooning for Verge, Zeke in the Box, Stevie Crowhill, How to Get Jack from John, Flesh Witch, Scrubs, Just Some Gosh from Adelaide, and I'm Ryan, Remy, The Panda Crew, Melody Prime, Beardo the Wizard, Captain Benjamin Hawkeye Pierce, the German shorthair pointer from Nashville, wants to tell his mom Maddie that he says woof, whiskered, Randy Spears at VO Arts Shop, Marissa the Ghost, Local snowplows in your area are dying to meet you.

Speaker 1 Rutherford B. Chesterfield and his dapper companion Winchester.

Speaker 1 Cheshire Corgi, Stray Cat, Ole Kelsey No Shoes, Zoldia, Dizzy Flame, Time Flies Like an Arrow, Fruit Flies Like a Banana, Sasha, Beth and Alan Ven Gillis, Langston North, Sly Fox, aka Briar Rabbit.

Speaker 1 Brought to you by Communism. Timothy Aotis.
Chance wants you to know he cares.

Speaker 1 Wolfstark, Adrian Vance, Elliott, Hobbes DeCoe, Natalie Barnett, Rory of Yin, Moobie the Golden Calf, Giovanni Salinas, Rocky G, Perry the Pirate, Aaron Elizabeth, K-Narcotics, Solomon Price, Daydream, Angela Sanchez, Bubba485, aka Schemelbach the Christmas Whale, Kaiju Sommelier, Stella Corvus, Jesus Garcia, JP the IT Guy, Candyman Fight, John Peters, you know, the farmer, Barkley on the Holodeck, Dapper Dad, SCP-049, O Badges, Raven the Dreamer, TK, Turtle King, Mike M, Space-Based Lasers, Captain B and Lady G with their swabs, Marla Madam Lotus still especially loves Finley.

Speaker 1 Lady Folly, Canadian waitress. Mr.
Steamwave, my friend the rhino says, be nice.

Speaker 1 Dream Founder, Amya Hokleberry. Elizabeth T, Ty Ty the Wonder Hamster and her dear darling Duke.
Gus, Coco Yumi is painting ponies. Huggamuffin, Bigfoot of Doom, D.

Speaker 1 L., Annie Atkins, Crandyman the Pug Whisperer, Garot, Our Cat Said to Tell You, Meow, Bag of Oats, Mr.

Speaker 1 Frog President, Pop Rock Quicksand, The Benny Yapper Yearns for the Sea, Abinasso, Trina Ward, Ada, Spooky Spader Storytime, William Kent, Andy, The McJimmies from Your Local Dimension, Xavier Killingsworth, Reformed Colonel Rebb, Mimetic Hygienist, Rogue Art, Aaron Star Joshua Damien, and Sentinel of the Star System, Claude DeClaus, Spunky Dan, Rachel Seymour, Chris Alfred, the Bullheaded Professor, Ed Boy, Ryan Fidelli, Jonathan Kay, Bert, Bert Bert, Bert Bert Bert Bert Bert Bert Bert Bert Bert Bert Bert Bert Bert Bert Bert Bert Bert Another Monster Petabyte Avatar Tugwin the Mighty Project Octopus Ken Chibs Birotron 95 Dan's granted clemency by his overlord parents Dance Break

Speaker 1 Speaku, the Bracken System and its homeworld Wren Simply Tony, Gabriel Castellan, Jamie the Goblin of Chaos, Nico DeGaio goes great on midnight burgers, a drum major and a trapeze artist walk into Connie's bar, Sir Party Animal, Huloy Jackal, Must Be a Witch, Cat with a K, Miss Shan Frizzle, Squirrels All the Way Up, Stompenstein El Mustachio, Lucifer Hezekiah, Lachiwawa Brava, Adeline Pete's, C.C.

Speaker 1 Carousel, Korth the Destroyer, Honest Puck, Casper's Mom's a Milf, Scout in Foxglove says the floor is lava, Kurdomsky, Craig Armstrong, Plastic Fork, Dulcet DeLeche, Get Out of My Booth, Bug, Sad Angry Crab Man, Man, Chuck McFinley, Hazel Hayes, Velocity Girl42, Little Dragon and a Cauldron of Bats, Ben Carlisle, Larry Fisherman, Anna Kearney, Crashly Strange Lilia, The Four Schnauzers of the Apocalypse, Starblaze Burnbright, Mzuki Oki, Spotted Rhino, Red Mafia Panda, Jean-Luc Gabot, Lonely Isle, Kai Dallow Headphones, Hinkle, Pikeman Stover, Fondella Stover, Pikeman Stover's Wife, Alexander the Boss, Scrizzles, Thwap, Giddy Giddy Giddy, The Firekeeper, The End is NIY!

Speaker 1 Jeremiah the Cancelled, Spike and Faye, Johnny Allen West and the Boys from the Dwarf, Speedy McSpeedy, Wolf, Brandy Ginter, Fermi's Paradoxans, Speckled Unicorn, Jedi Rides Again with Nova the Space Pirate, Tevin Longblade's Shortsword, Forget Normal, A Damn!

Speaker 1 CJ Johnson, Heiserhead 505, A Dragon Sitting on Its Horde of Dice, Wendell Whitaker, Fikachu, Smythe, Globed Roulette, Andrew Fuller, Danan Deb, Hung Bui, The Soup Witch, Fetuschini Alfredo, Amalgamous Pax, Pebbles, Princess V.

Speaker 1 V., Effie Rawlings, Megan Hazen, Philip Your Dad is Not Your Dad, Nick Borough, Midnight Plumber, His Royal Highness Mr.

Speaker 1 Hamilton Underfoot, Kitty I and Accomplice, Princess Penelope, The Marchioness of Mischief and Maven of Mystery, Megan Gentry, Mr.

Speaker 1 Cherry Loves Baby Bach Joy, Happy Anniversary, Our Ass is in the Jackpot, Tubby Teddy, Wayne Heiser, India Inkblot, Slev of Bahamut, Omi Gracie, Dalton Jenkins, Kat Holtz, The True Mega Mike, Fred and George, The What Weekly Media Database, Ava Maddox Jr., Liza Wirth, Cass Williams, Christie, Yeet My Boy, 46 Toolshed 2, and El Marie Catastrophe, The Image Collector, Blended Music, Sitting Squirrel, Patricia E.

Speaker 1 Melt, Missed Everyone, A Round of Yargs on the House, Red the Gray, The Silver Crow, Couch Potato Alex, Neverchild, Dr.

Speaker 1 Nassos, Interdimensional Biologist, Hiboko Du Nord, Lil Kev, Kozamine, Jonathan Burton, Theodrax, Joey B., Lucas Barding, DJK, DJK. Taryn says, hey, Oreo's our rabbit.

Speaker 1 Sandalwood Mountain is an odd way to refer to Hawaii, but it worked for Henry. Whimsical Fuckery, Megan with an H.
Hey, it's me again, warranty, lady. What happened to us?

Speaker 1 You never returned my calls anymore. Did we lose our spark? Patricia the Time Lord.

Speaker 12 Is it though?

Speaker 1 Mango Connoisseur. Britty Bug the Quirky Jester.
The Big Moose demands justice for Betty. Glory Cole, Janelle Miaonet's Cat Butler.

Speaker 1 O'Shin Liu, Alex Berry, Andrew Oakden, Asymmetrical Exile, Magpie Cat says everything's a bag of holding if you know how to pack. Churro the sun god, Alex Spence, Dr.
D. Birdclaw Spweather, and Mrs.

Speaker 1 Duboptuay Birdclaw Spweether want to go to space, you know, for the weather.

Speaker 1 Galaxy Britches, Angry Ron, Dominus Caesar, Durka Dub, Gloria's ex-girlfriend, Kelly Clickspring, the wild thistle, most likely Cass. James Harlow has decided he's ready to see the claw.

Speaker 1 I'm Not Joe's Dad, Jasmine James, Dr. Caborant, also known as Omni.
Thanks, Waffle Chateau.

Speaker 1 Colorado Beekeeper, Fruitcake, Anatha, Zandria, Jennifer Calkins, Guacamolio, Midday Burger, Don Parks, Throat Goat666, Princess Leia, Prime Freak.

Speaker 1 They call me Pie Guy, Imperial Grand Poobah of the Burgerverse. Droid Pirate Finlay and his Rubinesque Parrot.
Droid Pirate Finley and his Rubinesque Parrot.

Speaker 1 Stuck in a pit of Skittles, Drunken Coyote, Deflator Mouse, Tony Piakarski, Adrian R., The Devil from Table 12, Javier, Kimber Derp, Crazy Thadley, The Harbinger Pulsar, Cribulous is just happy to be here, The Twisted Twigster, The Rural Juror is a massive fan, Faye Queen, Oopschnart, the Probability Demolition Expert, Showtime, C.R.

Speaker 1 Iptid, For My Mother, Homer, Are We Doing Crimes, CCTX Girl6823 Waiting on the Diner, Nicole Studioso, Guess what, Frank?

Speaker 34 Sign My Shovel has a plan.

Speaker 1 K the Flying Penguin, Indigo Escargo, Love My Captain, Joe Malma, Castriff, Ames Affection for Internet Protection, Retro MG, Night Script, The Gainesville Fear Garden, Happy Birthday, Lana Banana, Utred and Rose's Viking Void Vitals, Fueling the Intergalactic Fight Against Fascism, Not Sure What I'm Doing, Leah Rose, River Brown, Senior Deuce, Scullacy, Warped Ryder, Tim Nacy, Ruben Klamso, Terwin, Hugh the Mini Mongo, Morgan Brockman, Sylvie, Glennis Thompson, Dustin Watson, Betty White 8, 13, Good Grief People, I Need to Breathe, The One True Cheap Con, Starscribe, Lucian Thunderstruck,

Speaker 1 Mamama, Droughtbreaker. Doozer wonders if necropants are allowed in Pants Darts, and if they are, will there be an option at the tourism shop outside City Hall?

Speaker 1 The other Adele, Chef Gal Val, Leah Hall, Sarah May, Cone of Silence Consultants LLC needs fresh towels in room 3 at the horizon, silly Willie Bubblebutt, Sierra Not from Arkansas, Zico,

Speaker 1 Ebenezer Boob, Caleb Tumiala, Jason Woods, Arnie Arbuckle Esquire, Digital Digital Fluo Floss in Time, Potion Maestro, Nebula Nell, Regulators, Mount Up, Mad Yogi Eileen, Mr.

Speaker 1 Meepod, A Cat Named M, Potito Pato, Palace, Ethan Cobb, Big Moe, I am Annie, I live forever in every moment I've existed. I swear to every star in the cosmos, I never forgot it was a gift.

Speaker 1 The Stone Fox, Tricia Schaefer, Solivia, Juiciton, Papitos, Boomhauer, you can call me Boom. I'm an onomonopoeia, Ninja Grim Reaper, Miles Nelson, prove to me that orange cats aren't gods.

Speaker 1 Britwards, Ashley Soros, Momo's Mama, Hold My Yarg, Ivy Paisley, Toast, Sue Watts, Myrtle, Caitlin, Leader of the Unicorn Revolution, Transdimensional Delivery Man, Matt Lock, Lord of the 13th Sea, Mr.

Speaker 1 Trigvy, Printing with Cats, Khaleesi Del Mar, Dixie Dinah, River Waters, 7,000 Possums, Sarah Jack's Sparrow Space Pony, Revibe, Debbie E, Emma, Mr. and Mrs.

Speaker 1 Oboe, Dusty Ventures, Ronnie Porter, Gloria's Line Cook, Eagle Rock Lobster, The Gabbiest Painter and Her Bird of Fire!

Speaker 1 Wandering Wenjo, painted Oni, Q Dell, Pharrell, Emily with Two E's, Spaceman Nathan, Ramsey's Niblick III, Kerplunk, Kerplunk, Whoops, Where's My Thribble?

Speaker 1 Mad Goat, Jackie Wavelet, Issa the Straga, D.

Speaker 1 Greitzler, A Gremlin with the Munchies, Michelle Scaracchio, Genuine Jacob, Andy's Brain is Weird, Space Rooster Randy doing crimes, Leopard Donut, Poofy Thang, Mellow Nuggets, Keychain Crap, Matt Matt Sharkman, Steelo, Arcadia, Bumbling Lily Bee, Buffy's Daughter.

Speaker 1 A quick pause so Joe can sip from his tiny teacup.

Speaker 1 Bufar D's Nuts, Panda, Curtis Lelig, Kennedy Allison Farner, Tristan Stoles, Dalen Y, Shadow Rapture, Yet Another Nicole, Hank the Wonder Llama, R-Craft, Russell, Zephyrus Wind, Just a Regular Fox, Jeremy Impson, Just Rachel, Danger Girl, Atlas Bear, Patty the Ginger, Ava Cigarette Ash, Boisenberry, aka the Boys, A Zeus, Anna Phylaxis, Scav with Comtax, The Shapeshifting Sad Girl, and her girlfriend say, Joe, you've done it again.

Speaker 1 Sarah Nicole, The Kells, Cat, Ah,

Speaker 1 Lena, Angry Leaf's Lasersaw, Magnus Aerochill, Amy Perry, Christopher Kai, Source Decay, The Space Cowbi,

Speaker 1 Skexis, Randy's Amigo, Gremlock, Katie Mermaid, and the Delinquent Duo, Nauman, Nicole, Victor Schauberger, reincarnated as White Mountain Hill Billy, Glitter Cupcake, Max Dangers, Security Chief Shatzi, The Anxious Peach, Team Michelle and Billy, Naya Nick's Reno, Frankenator, Nordalbash, Jordan, Arwen X Pelasco, Ryan Rosinski, Average Height, Medium Rage,

Speaker 1 Audio Monkey, Joe, Team Heifeweissen, Monica and Mason K, Rowan, Lady of the Black and Herald of the Stars, Pistachio Inc., Arianne Can't Manage Normal, Ryan Burnett, The Joyful Nihilist, The Timid Ghost 23, Dr.

Speaker 1 Dr. B, Zoprez and the Bumble Army, Growing into My Farm Boots, Super Beth becomes an RN alongside my bootstrap farm friend, Geneva Boss, Brothers of the Cosine, Uncivil Gnomes, The Rat Queen Evelyn.

Speaker 1 Great lunch conversation. The other Scott, Letty Lou.

Speaker 38 He was a shifty one, that Nick Howard.

Speaker 1 Kinger was here. Bob Eray Wenland Jr.
Bebop B-Dabba Doowop. Warped Echoes.
Slabs McTurps. Lord Robert O'Tartis.
He's bigger on the inside.

Speaker 1 Jeremiah Franco, Justin, The Nick of Time, Gothic Rainbow, So We Made It.

Speaker 1 Cody McClure, McHadley, Eternal Companion, Jingaloss, Has Matilda, Ditzy Bay, Just Your Average Reese, Kyle Church, I Am Am a Lafe on the Wind, Static Ego, Some Fucking Swamp Wizard, Lolly, Evan M.

Speaker 1 Dobson, Dave B., Sean C., How Did I Get Here? Oh God, is that the soup? Going to be lit.

Speaker 1 I am Shaggy, Wayne Hall, Danny Mars, Frank in a Field, Fuzzle McBumpernits, Neelix Tiny Wolf, Asher the Raven, Christina Sennett is Teleporting, BRB,

Speaker 1 Shane R. Definitely not an android.
Seriously, I'm not.

Speaker 1 The Wandering Welshman, whatever, Tabby, Carolyn Harper, Nikolai Tolkachev, Capo the Sartorius, Z3DT, Shy Sparrows, BLTN, the Kiwi Duckling, Dana Dana, Bobana, Fifi Fofanna, Dad and Aubrey, the Dirt Bike Demons, Tequila Mockingbird, Snuffle Up A Goose, Damerin the Space Goblin, ISO Pale, Oh No, a B.

Speaker 1 I am Lord Zotan, hear me roar! Pocket Ghost Max, Nate the Milkman, Mags the Conqueror, Wes and Heather have made it. My cat's name is Beef.

Speaker 1 Eric, Katie Kate, get your colonoscopy, Victor Cassados, Emily Shmemily, Work for Melvis, Bohogo, Bye-bye for Joe, Joe Pogo, that's a no-go, bro.

Speaker 1 Cody Monster, Collided Mind, Miss Nixie, Charlie Rudle, Kyle Perino, OK Ladiesware, Sid the Sloth on a Bike, Priya Gandhi, Wandering Mermaid, understands the assignment, Lil Stevie Pie, Two Polar Cat is Laif now, motherfuckers!

Speaker 1 Carl, the teller of dad jokes, Skylabs multidimensional, multiphasic, intergalactic quantum cyberverse, Verde Sol, Galen Miller, Tess, Geriatric Young'un, Mystic Hippie, Hippie, Unforkable, Daniel Nitz, Mavis Bacons, Pyro's Calling, Joe Suasian, Banjo Cat, Too Many Jans!

Speaker 1 Cat Shot, Pamela Rose Eltierra, Then Steena Says, Thud Tweed, Nicole DG, Countess of Carbon, Slappy the Squirrel's Ted Slapping Rampage, Luminous Elk, Rodian Caution, Love Us for the Nierds,

Speaker 1 Taz Hernandez, Captain Crash on the Surviving Crew, Casper Needs a Hug, Joe is the Rider's Room, Awkward Heretic, Devin7777, Troy Aker, Mandy Kane, Northerly K, Lost Basan, Kim Sell, Silly Goose, Honk Honk, Admatha, Astro Unit, Ghost Saber Wolf, The Sleepy Mystic, Sarah Joy, Taters, Precious, Teddy of the Wasteland, It's Just Steve, Sweets Martinez, Char Noble 610, Mir Tender Creatures, Amanda Short, Chut, Brimble, Mike Whiskey and Your Friend Frosty, No Saguaro, Ben Bar, Beastly Death, Sven the Unlikely, Cognito Hazard Expunged, Ted Wasanasen, Virestria, Theosis the Theologianish, Spoomples, Nicole, I love you, but I will name Kid 2 Brathar, Fernwood Gal, Nelly G, Twinkle Tots, Gemini Sky, Phantom's Moms, Callison, Horn Swaglin, Daniel Arthur, Mike Laclusi,

Speaker 1 It's a Fucking Dog Rapture, Abigail Lehue, King Humble, We Better Ask Dave, Winchimes for Safety, Cameron Winterborne Welsh, Fireball XL5, Mackenzie Duna, Alexica Habaniera, Code Stranger, One Batty Bat,

Speaker 1 Matt N, Julia Kringlin, Monad Nick, Brillp, M.

Speaker 1 Lin, Feed MaFish, JRR on SFP, Lahari, Ted's Loves Catherine, J Spark, Lucid Harbor, Little Mira Leopard Paws, Diet Night, Mars Royalty, Take 20 Damage, Maisie's Bandstand, Kim Bob, Battle Pope and Bugaboo, Snorts Magorts, Fresh Squeezed, Patrick Holt, Atlas B, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now Hit It!

Speaker 1 Hat It, Het It, Hot It, HUD It!

Speaker 1 Bradley Ashby, Peter, Megan Okeo, William Dyer, Vicki A Bear, Brad Manier, Jane, Hannah Dale, Crystal Delightful, Gruntled, Kill Shot Betty and her Steel-Eyed Bow, Turtles All the Way Down, Jackie Lowey, The Little Pigeon, Quentin Elizabeth Jones, Crazed Bear, I Saw Dr.

Speaker 1 Lattice Trash Angel out back, scrumping for apples, crafty lizard quilts, noble barrel. Yes, my brain is weird.
Thank you. Bippity-boppity boom.

Speaker 1 Megan the Meg Young, Baby Bears Love the Diner, Corey Morose, Russell Bunny, Max Savage, Apprehensive Craig, Tim Araneta, Bacon, Nicole Studioso, Rambo, Chaos Squatcher, that homeless guy who saw the diner disappear from Rogers and gave up booze, Lord Fan and Lady Sarah, Mary Kirby, Stephanie Sturgis, Kirsten, Hurry Up and Wait, Sarah Farmer and Belladonna, First of Her Name, Criddle, Twilio, Heidelberdy, Tom Webster, Rashmi Vinkatesh, Muklump, Azana the Leathersmith, Rad Dolls, Salazar the Domage, The Bard with the Tuba, Hayward's Finest, Garen Elizondo, Terrified Toddler, Sir Shetzalot, Strikes Again, Damn Animal, Ashton James, Elspeth, Skyland, ALR, Sidewalk Jam, Tonka 2005, Cruise and B.

Speaker 1 Anthony, Trick Wants Treats, Steven Schmidt, Xavier Romo, Alley Frog, Trey the Turquoise Tortoise, Freya Titmittens, Courtney the Frogologist, The Fontucky Wrangler, Scrim Brulee, Yay Aaron, The Singing Loon, Zusana, Celeste Yos, I'm So Antigone Fun, Katie and Noah, Hendrix the Stink, Sarah Murphy, The Ambergler, Boodles, Osvaldo Simeoni, Siobhan Delilah Rose, Ashley Chapel Peoples, Ryan Ortega, Barbarian Bloodbath, The Defenestration of Teds, Corrine Sabrantha, Shadow Daddy, Rubius Fuzzlebutt, K-Mac, The Something Something Detective Agency, Hayabuddha, Eli the Electrician, Sonny D.

Speaker 1 Anomaly, Charmay, The Wondrous Methazophon, Post-Turtle Evaluation Squad, Hashtag Nissan Acura, Finnegan Robert, Samira, Flat Doug, Trinket Coralie, Deary Darling, Ambient Drifting Man 80, Chris Hancock, Nicole 23, Gracefully Impaired, Tired Pirate Muffin, Steve King, Laura, Roman Ronin, John Pruitt, Camel Pope, Inschulegen, Cryptessia, Rebecca Trossel, Chris from Tacoma, Mitzi Lou, Kelsey Home, Amanda Marie Catherine, Damien the Goddamn Time Lawyer, All My Homies, Hate Croc the Propagator, Matt Mosby, Saint Fu, Harry Fishnuts, Joshua Cody, Astronaweeb, Magnos the Civil Gnome, Starlight, David Pierini, Techno Ranger Rick, Joe's Weaslaff, Virgo Aries Infinity, Best Buds Danny and M, Charles Q.

Speaker 1 Choi, A Bug Named Nat, Cece Ryder, Hunter B, Rudra, Death the Kid, Big Whiskey, All Cockinator, Ron Was Here, Magic Pony, Robert Oliveri, Dan Bowman, Jess Gioya, Paul A.

Speaker 1 Johnson, Killer Odd, Dandy Bay, Dr. Punt Gusher Esquire had an interview today and couldn't fly to St.

Speaker 1 Paul to see Wits, Creator67, Bajolanth, Lafe's One True Love, Mermaid of the Dark Seas, Cosmic Shrug, Incorrigible Ross, Deborah Wales, SCRB Mark11, Courtney DePona, Maggie's Yarm, Stew, Anth Anomaly, Megan Mighty, Haunt, Purple Saline, Three Legs Are Perfectly Good, Drew and LA, Anomalous Vandal, The Ice Queen, Captain Blepp, Evie Power, Your Favorite Kenny, Terry, PJ Says What?

Speaker 1 Danielle L. Fear Now Doesn't Polish the Shiny Melon, Blargo, Blargo, Blargo, The Jazzman, Tonight at 11, Doom

Speaker 1 David Whittinghill, Britt Little Fair, Michelle Myers, Glenn Morris, Lizard Lee, Rosemary Prim, Anthony Lakey, Thomas Adams, Brett Zimmerman, Lauren Benner, Stephanie Buke, Andrea Crowther, Boot Scoot and Dave, Naya Venturi, Ryan Abbey, Michelle Hopper, Jessica Engela, Kevin Dottri, Meredith Jester, Martin Deers, David Bolger, Robert Savat, Drink Spiller, Richard Ryan Moschel, D.

Speaker 1 Flower, Kalati Arena, Fall of the Berlin Wallaby, Lauren Mayer, Jake the Cook, Snorp, Lily Davis, Josie Jones, V.

Speaker 1 Greenlee, Elijah Sharp, Dan Gentry, Ron Hayden, Arwen the Freer, Fridge Pickle, Jacqueline Snyder, Whisper Dan, Mad Maddox. I hope something good happens to you today.
Yes, you.

Speaker 1 Lorak the Barbarianess, Zealous Pragma, Tuba Rick. It's just Blake.
Alice Malice asks, how many chains could two chains chain if two chains could chain chains?

Speaker 1 Sircat Dad, Kelly Jane Denkey, Aaron the Optimist, Thomas Stolen, aka Casper from Another Universe, Chadney Asherah, Lucrezia, Thornus, Tamara Oliver, The Real Dirt Fairy, Marissa, Ava.

Speaker 1 No, not that, Ava, the one with an

Speaker 1 Grimm says, Trans rights, y'all.

Speaker 1 Zekinat, Underwater Corvid, Spizzeringtum, Snakes and Bakes, Michael Christian, Ransom, Brune Maisalil, Grollux and Terobang, Late Indeed Again, Theron Pyralis, Om Vega, Dances with Burritos, Original Recipe, Aaron Mitchell, Lady Keanu Meissen, Onyx Rose, Jackie Wavelet, J.R.

Speaker 1 the Hiker Bear, Velocicate, Al Cave, Krusty McBeardface, Maloran, Sweet Michelle, Kara, Colmy Zen, Calibri, Mel Momberg, Rogue, Lisa Geisler, India Holbert, El Temible Pirata, Fred Fred Burger, What the Chuck, Sono Nasuno, Ben and Jessica, Todd Van Voris, Nea DeRusso, Peachy Satowichi, Inca the Kraken, Azula the Brave, and their ever-faithful squire Grabthar, Gen X Tranius, Dalek Steve, Dancing Dog Dreams, and existentially, Exhausted Bean.

Speaker 19 The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish.