Chapter 47: The Hero

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Speaker 2 Previously on Midnight Burger, pro tip: when answering a Craigslist ad for a new job, ask more follow-up questions.

Speaker 4 They're coming right out of the door!

Speaker 6 Just tell us your name.

Speaker 6 Trying to stop me, I won't stop.

Speaker 10 I got your gun, Carroll. We need to stop this woman.
A never-ending brunch.

Speaker 12 You trapped her in a giant ice cube.

Speaker 13 Hey!

Speaker 10 I'm talking to you. The diner is surrounded by sheep.

Speaker 8 Oh, shit.

Speaker 10 There's two moons.

Speaker 5 He's cutting my car in half.

Speaker 4 Azer saw.

Speaker 10 Go get me the barista. What?

Speaker 16 Go get me the barista.

Speaker 4 I'm gonna fight you, Billy Room.

Speaker 2 Please don't tell me you're trying to make it your responsibility to save an entire galaxy.

Speaker 10 Whose responsibility should it be?

Speaker 18 I mean, then again, how much do you really want to know?

Speaker 2 You know, I mean, maybe it's better to just, you know, check the vibe of the place and see how you feel.

Speaker 16 You know,

Speaker 19 let's start the shift.

Speaker 20 Once upon a time,

Speaker 20 there was a hero.

Speaker 20 Though she would never call herself that.

Speaker 20 The hero had always been a creature of survival, of work.

Speaker 20 For the longest time, the hero saw every sunset as a victory.

Speaker 20 All that one needed was to reach the day's end and rest.

Speaker 22 And then,

Speaker 22 one day.

Speaker 20 The hero did not choose this life, but no one ever does.

Speaker 20 Reluctance is at the heart of the hero.

Speaker 20 For one to seek it out,

Speaker 1 well,

Speaker 20 we call that something else, don't we?

Speaker 23 Petal, do you think there'll be any fish left in the ocean by the time you're done?

Speaker 10 It helps me relax!

Speaker 23 Are you certain?

Speaker 10 What did you just call me?

Speaker 23 Petal.

Speaker 10 I don't think I approved of that terminology.

Speaker 23 Could you come here to me and walk me through the approval process?

Speaker 12 Don't distract me.

Speaker 23 I thought distraction was the goal.

Speaker 10 You know what I mean?

Speaker 23 It's the assumption that if you continue to cook, time will somehow move along at a faster clip.

Speaker 10 I guess I'm used to cooking while time traveling.

Speaker 23 Have you ever made Haggis? What? Haggis. Are you familiar?

Speaker 10 Yeah, I know what it is.

Speaker 23 I've never had it.

Speaker 25 And what a crime.

Speaker 10 Brody, you're kind of a caricature of a Scottish person. Has anyone ever told you that?

Speaker 23 Ah, but how can I be a caricature of a people who no longer exist?

Speaker 23 Am I not the blueprint?

Speaker 10 Oh my god.

Speaker 23 Am I not the patter familiars from which all future Scots shall spring?

Speaker 10 Oh my god, Brody.

Speaker 23 Be careful, careful, my love. I shall begin to quote Rabbi Burns in your general direction.

Speaker 23 How lofty, sweet Afton, thy neighbouring hills, far marked with the courses of clear winding rills.

Speaker 23 There daily I wander as noon rises high,

Speaker 23 my flocks and my Mary's sweet caught in my eye.

Speaker 10 I'm not making you haggis. No.
I don't even know if there's sheep here.

Speaker 23 Is there not a maritime version? Some sort of fish stuffed with some other sort of fish?

Speaker 16 I doubt it.

Speaker 23 Tragic.

Speaker 10 I know I'm being a little ridiculous.

Speaker 23 I don't believe that you are.

Speaker 10 They've just been dragging me all over the planet like a celebrity. I make speeches and meet people, but it doesn't feel like anything's happening.

Speaker 23 It's possible they have no idea what to do.

Speaker 10 There's got to be something.

Speaker 10 There's always something.

Speaker 23 If that's the case, then it has yet to rear its head

Speaker 23 But it shall

Speaker 10 This is the problem with spending my life in restaurants. What do you mean at the end of the night you always make sure that everything's done

Speaker 10 You make sure not to screw the next shift doesn't matter how tired you are you don't leave anything unfinished. I see I've got a lot of unfinished work out there Brody

Speaker 23 As if on queue perhaps this is the news you've been waiting for hello Gloria, hello.

Speaker 29 Hello, Borsch. Hi, Brody.

Speaker 10 Greetings. What's the news?

Speaker 8 We're heading your way.

Speaker 10 Okay, what's going on?

Speaker 30 As you know, the High Chancellor has been off-world since your arrival.

Speaker 31 There's a lot of planets to manage out there, you understand.

Speaker 8 Sure.

Speaker 30 She's managed to cut her schedule short, but she can meet with you.

Speaker 32 That's great.

Speaker 7 In fact, she has called a general meeting. She never does that.

Speaker 30 That's a meeting of all council heads from all departments.

Speaker 10 It's a big deal. Okay, so I should get ready to go.

Speaker 30 She's actually invited both you and Brody.

Speaker 5 She has?

Speaker 16 She has?

Speaker 30 It's a bit of a formal to-do, Gloria. Your domestic system should have some appropriate outfits for the occasion.

Speaker 31 Brody, I've marked some of my personal favorites for you.

Speaker 30 If you need some guidance, no need to pack. We'll have everything for you on the big island.
We're going to the capital.

Speaker 24 Wow, okay.

Speaker 30 Select some outfits and they'll be sent to the fabricator there. This is all good news, Gloria.

Speaker 2 Okay, great.

Speaker 10 I'll see you soon.

Speaker 5 Well,

Speaker 23 it appears we're going to a bit of a bash.

Speaker 10 What do you think the head honcho wants with you?

Speaker 23 I've no clue. Perhaps she knows it can't possibly be a true rave-up unless I make an appearance.

Speaker 5 Brody,

Speaker 10 I really need something to happen.

Speaker 23 I know, my love.

Speaker 23 It shall.

Speaker 12 I also haven't approved my love.

Speaker 20 Not every age can be an age of heroes.

Speaker 20 There must be an age that follows.

Speaker 20 And what is that age?

Speaker 20 Prosperity?

Speaker 20 Silence?

Speaker 20 Stillness?

Speaker 20 The hero had found herself in a place she had never known.

Speaker 20 A place where all the work was done.

Speaker 20 The war had been won. The victories celebrated.

Speaker 20 It was a time and place that she had always wished for.

Speaker 20 But how would she find her place here?

Speaker 20 Where is the hero's place in a time of peace?

Speaker 35 Welcome to the Idol of Remembrance.

Speaker 36 It is here we remember Bertiluna Restiana, first High Chancellor of the New Coalition, who led us through war and into reconstruction.

Speaker 36 It is in this sacred place that we honor her memory and hold fast to the promises we've made to each other.

Speaker 10 It's a beautiful statue.

Speaker 10 I wish I could have seen her

Speaker 23 to hear them tell it. She was toward the end of her life when she brought us all here to Segius.

Speaker 23 It was her final act.

Speaker 23 By the time we'd made the crossing in the pyrofight,

Speaker 23 she was already gone.

Speaker 13 You would have liked her.

Speaker 23 I'm sure.

Speaker 29 Hello, good morning. Hey, guys.

Speaker 5 Are we all ready?

Speaker 10 Yeah, I'm ready.

Speaker 31 I have your prepared remarks right here and have incorporated your changes.

Speaker 37 Thank you.

Speaker 5 This is a big one.

Speaker 32 This is the heavy hitters.

Speaker 38 This will be a gathering of all council heads from across the planet. We'll have council members focus on interplanetary, intergalactic, and inter-community issues.

Speaker 38 The chancellors of forethought, peacekeeping, innovation, truth, and understanding, deep core tenants.

Speaker 21 Deep core tenants is a huge git.

Speaker 5 They never show up.

Speaker 38 Also, our interplanetary guests.

Speaker 31 As well as our new high chancellor.

Speaker 5 Right.

Speaker 10 And what is her name again?

Speaker 29 Alondra.

Speaker 10 Alondra.

Speaker 12 Okay.

Speaker 12 So, guys.

Speaker 31 Have you had a chance to visit your idol yet?

Speaker 10 Uh, no.

Speaker 40 It's really lovely.

Speaker 12 I've seen it in pictures.

Speaker 38 My brother was on the Design Council.

Speaker 19 Great. Not shut up about it.

Speaker 2 He was very proud of his work.

Speaker 16 We're all proud of our work.

Speaker 10 Guys, I really appreciate your help this whole time. It's been a lot.
I feel like I've met everyone on the planet.

Speaker 34 We're all very excited that you're here.

Speaker 10 I understand, but the speeches and the functions are going to end at some point, right?

Speaker 38 The working group is already putting together ideas.

Speaker 10 The working group, what does that mean?

Speaker 31 For issues that span the interests of multiple councils, a working group is convened.

Speaker 38 A working group with a representative of each council.

Speaker 10 What is the working group supposed to do?

Speaker 38 The working group will concern itself with you.

Speaker 10 Uh, concern itself with me how?

Speaker 42 However, you like.

Speaker 24 Okay.

Speaker 10 I need to get back to the diner.

Speaker 34 Then it shall concern itself with that.

Speaker 13 Great.

Speaker 10 Okay, that's great. So this is the last speech?

Speaker 34 Yes. Yes.
For a while.

Speaker 5 Could be more.

Speaker 38 I understand the resistance. Ixio, have you compiled analogies?

Speaker 31 I have some analogies here that may bring clarity.

Speaker 13 Why?

Speaker 34 Joan of Arc, Boudicca, Oprah.

Speaker 16 Oprah?

Speaker 10 What are we talking about here?

Speaker 38 A luminary from the past is suddenly among us, and many people are wanting to...

Speaker 20 What is the word?

Speaker 31 Bask in the glow.

Speaker 15 The glow.

Speaker 22 Glow.

Speaker 21 And because of that, there is a need for certain functions.

Speaker 10 I'm not glowing.

Speaker 38 No, but your statue is. You should definitely take a look.

Speaker 37 Enough with the statue, please.

Speaker 5 I was just saying.

Speaker 31 Gloria, the High Chancellor is here. She's looking forward to speaking with you.

Speaker 38 After that, we can get to work. I hear the preliminary team already has some interesting ideas about what to do next.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 5 Now,

Speaker 31 I hate to break up the happy couple, but I'm afraid Brody has a schedule of his own today.

Speaker 21 Have I? Yes, Brody.

Speaker 13 You look really great.

Speaker 45 If you would come with me, I'll get you where you need to go.

Speaker 46 I promise I won't steal them. Are you sure?

Speaker 23 I suppose Juti calls.

Speaker 13 Good luck with whatever that is.

Speaker 38 Gloria, we've cordoned off this area, so you won't be disturbed. I need to go meet some landing parties.

Speaker 2 You're good here? Sure.

Speaker 38 Seriously, you should go see your statue. It's something you need to see in person.

Speaker 24 Okay, I'll put it on the list.

Speaker 5 Be right back.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 10 You certainly wouldn't make me put up with this bullshit, would you, Bertberg?

Speaker 16 You're right.

Speaker 40 She probably wouldn't.

Speaker 16 Hello?

Speaker 1 Hi there.

Speaker 40 Lovely statue.

Speaker 41 Yes.

Speaker 40 Did you know she had them redo that statue six times?

Speaker 29 Really?

Speaker 40 Our former High Chancellor was very particular.

Speaker 40 She kept insisting it was too majestic. She didn't seem approachable enough.

Speaker 10 It's a 20-foot statue. How can it be approachable?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 40 But that's what she wanted. Apparently, at first, they wanted something more queenly, having her sitting in a big throne, like that one on your planet.
Uh, what's his name?

Speaker 40 Lincoln.

Speaker 5 In the big chair? Right.

Speaker 40 She wanted to just stand there and give me a book or something.

Speaker 40 A mistake in the end, I think. It should try and capture how people felt about her, not what she actually looked like.

Speaker 48 Oh, I'm Justin.

Speaker 41 Gloria.

Speaker 12 Justin?

Speaker 40 Yes.

Speaker 10 That's an Earth name. It is.

Speaker 34 You're from here.

Speaker 40 My mother was a big fan of Earth and a big fan of cheesy jokes. She said I came along just in the nick of time.

Speaker 5 Wow. Yeah.

Speaker 10 And you have to live with that.

Speaker 40 I do.

Speaker 40 Also, I was the third child. I think at that point she didn't give a shit what my name was.

Speaker 10 I'm sure that's not true.

Speaker 10 I've seen pictures.

Speaker 40 It's not far from here.

Speaker 10 I know.

Speaker 10 You didn't hear from me, but I think I would have preferred some input like Burbert had.

Speaker 40 You don't like it.

Speaker 10 It's a little much, don't you think? I don't know. I'm sitting in some sort of a lotus pose, and I'm surrounded by three galaxies.

Speaker 40 The Milky Way, Andromeda, and Triangulum.

Speaker 10 And I'm 20 feet tall.

Speaker 40 It does make one imagine you much taller.

Speaker 16 Doesn't it?

Speaker 4 I'm a cook, Justin.

Speaker 40 Only to yourself, Gloria.

Speaker 4 No, no.

Speaker 40 Oh, shit.

Speaker 12 Absolutely not. What's wrong?

Speaker 40 Gloria, we're sitting here in the middle of a free city on a free planet in a newly free system. Don't you think it should be free for everyone?

Speaker 10 What do you mean?

Speaker 2 This is not a press event.

Speaker 40 Got the chance to start over here on the triad. Do you think imprisoning people without any process of adjudication is the way to get started?

Speaker 10 I have no idea what you're talking about.

Speaker 40 There's an island you should know about. The earthlings are calling it North Brother Island.
It's some sort of Earth reference.

Speaker 5 North Brother Island? Security?

Speaker 40 They won't listen to me, Gloria. Maybe they'll listen to you.
He's over here.

Speaker 29 Take him off the premise. Listen to me about what?

Speaker 40 My mother would have hated it, but no one seems to care.

Speaker 34 Who is your mother?

Speaker 40 You're standing next to her statue.

Speaker 38 Justin, off we go. Thank you.
Thank you for the disruption. I'm sorry about that, Gloria.

Speaker 32 He's Bert Bert's son?

Speaker 10 He is.

Speaker 38 He's a bit of a black sheep. He likes to cause trouble.

Speaker 29 What was he talking about?

Speaker 25 There's really nothing to worry about.

Speaker 10 What the fuck was he talking about?

Speaker 31 Hello, ma'am. How was your trip?

Speaker 34 It was fine.

Speaker 1 Everyone's arrived? Yes.

Speaker 31 Gloria is here at the amphitheater, and Brody is waiting at your offices.

Speaker 35 You haven't told Brody anything?

Speaker 31 No, ma'am.

Speaker 34 As directed.

Speaker 35 Seo, how are things progressing in our faster-than-light working group?

Speaker 34 I.

Speaker 34 I don't have that information here, but last I checked, they were making progress.

Speaker 16 Good.

Speaker 35 Could you tell them to pick up the pace, please?

Speaker 35 We're in the middle of a technological revolution right now, and yet every time I go through a warp gate, I feel like my ass is gonna fall out of my body.

Speaker 34 An alternative to warp gate travel would be great.

Speaker 43 Yes, ma'am. All the chancellors are here? Yes.

Speaker 31 Ma'am.

Speaker 5 Almost.

Speaker 35 Almost?

Speaker 34 Yes. Who's not here?

Speaker 31 Deep Core Tenants sends their regrets

Speaker 49 to them on video right now. Yes, ma'am.

Speaker 35 Direct from me so they don't ignore the call.

Speaker 16 Of course.

Speaker 39 Point your camera at my face, please. Okay.

Speaker 49 Other side of my face, please. Yes, ma'am.

Speaker 35 High Chancellor. That's actually the last thing you're going to say on this call because I'm going to talk and then you're going to act.

Speaker 35 Now, I realize this may be difficult for you because action is not something you're prone to in your council, but try and muster up the strength.

Speaker 35 I am not the High Chancellor of the New Coalition because of an oopsie, okay?

Speaker 35 I'm here with the full faith of the entirety of the new coalition planets, and yet you assholes act as though I'm a weather girl on some sort of terrible Earth show.

Speaker 35 Being High Chancellor means many things. One of the many things it means is the following.
When I throw a party, everybody fucking shows up.

Speaker 35 Get a representative on a slipstream right now and pray to the First Island that they make it here in in time for the breakout meetings. Thank you.

Speaker 34 That ought to have them shitting in their robes.

Speaker 33 High Chancellor Amongra Gazeba.

Speaker 36 Thank you.

Speaker 35 It began a generation ago.

Speaker 35 It began with one woman saying enough

Speaker 36 and three galaxies echoing that call.

Speaker 35 What followed was protest, then rebellion, then war.

Speaker 14 Miraculously, here with us today is the woman who started it all.

Speaker 35 Chancellors, commissioners, and ambassadors, I present to you Gloria Juana Belen Gutierrez de Mendoza.

Speaker 35 Thank you so much for doing this. I I know it's super awkward.
Just keep smiling and waving.

Speaker 11 Sure thing.

Speaker 10 Chancellor?

Speaker 35 Yes?

Speaker 10 Where the fuck is Clementine?

Speaker 20 The hero should not have been surprised.

Speaker 20 Tranquil lands often hide the deepest evils. With a heavy head, the hero once again strode across the land to save a people from themselves.

Speaker 20 The burden of this was thick upon her shoulders.

Speaker 20 The work seemed unending, with the end of every battle being the beginning of the next.

Speaker 20 She often wondered when it would all end.

Speaker 5 But then.

Speaker 20 Beyond that, a larger question loomed.

Speaker 16 If it did end,

Speaker 38 what then? You can see the island on the map here. So Goresh, it's the most isolated island on the planet.

Speaker 31 Very few people lived there, and when CGS moved to a global government, it began to be used for the most sensitive projects and, if necessary, quarantine.

Speaker 38 All of the Earthlings passed through there when they came to CGS.

Speaker 23 I passed through there myself, but I was there for a week at the most.

Speaker 10 And you're telling me Clementine is still there?

Speaker 39 She is.

Speaker 31 Tarik as well.

Speaker 23 When I asked about them, I was told they were living on another island.

Speaker 22 And they were.

Speaker 23 There were a few salient details left out of that statement.

Speaker 31 There was only so much we were able to share with you.

Speaker 10 Why are they still there?

Speaker 38 The details of all of that is still outside of our profile. You'll have to talk with the High Chancellor directly.

Speaker 13 We'll be there in a few hours.

Speaker 10 Fine.

Speaker 10 My special guest is on board this thing, too.

Speaker 38 He's on the lower deck.

Speaker 2 I'll take you to him. Okay.

Speaker 31 Brody, the Chancellor apologizes that you weren't able to meet back on the big island, but obviously things took a turn.

Speaker 23 I'm meeting with her directly.

Speaker 5 Yes.

Speaker 31 She's on her way in her ship right now. She hopes that the two of you can find some time to talk in the middle of all of this stuff.

Speaker 23 What could this be about?

Speaker 31 I don't know, but the most powerful woman in the triad would like to meet with you, so I'm assuming that it's something important.

Speaker 7 As you can see from the dilapidated buildings behind me, the draconian trade policies of the Ted Empire have decimated the small cities and towns here on Limonier.

Speaker 7 To keep up with the high fees associated with their active warp gate, every citizen of this planet must work at a water treatment facility for a minimum of five years so that they can prepare shipments of fresh water to the Teds as payment for their active warp gate lease.

Speaker 38 Here we are.

Speaker 24 Thank you.

Speaker 40 Thanks for the invitation.

Speaker 10 Well, I feel like our conversation got cut short.

Speaker 40 Sorry for the ambush. There was no other way to talk to you.
Luckily, I still have some friends at at the capital.

Speaker 10 What can you tell me about whatever is going on at this island?

Speaker 40 Hmm, Silgoresh. Yes.
Would you mind if we talked without a representative of the High Chancellor's office hovering over your shoulder?

Speaker 38 I started the day by breaking into a strict area, Justin. You think I'm going to trust you?

Speaker 1 I'm not a cat burglar, Borsch.

Speaker 44 An old friend like...

Speaker 40 And what is this friend's name? Ah, a journalist never reveals their source.

Speaker 38 Then you should have no problem.

Speaker 10 Give us a minute, okay?

Speaker 10 Fun guy. I don't understand.
If you're Burt Bert's son, how are you not treated like royalty?

Speaker 40 Oh, we don't do special treatment for parental legacy on CGS.

Speaker 16 But still.

Speaker 40 Also, I was.

Speaker 40 You know how families sometimes have that one kid that nobody knows what to do with?

Speaker 2 Sure.

Speaker 40 Well, that's me.

Speaker 10 Aren't you guys real big on journalistic integrity?

Speaker 38 Yes.

Speaker 40 But it gets a little nasty when you get into a debate about what journalism actually is.

Speaker 40 I don't work for the Truth and Understanding Council here on CGIs. I have another job.
I work for the Under Signal.

Speaker 10 What is that?

Speaker 40 Um, let's see. Something analogous on Earth Pre-Crisis would be

Speaker 5 bloggers?

Speaker 12 I guess. I see.

Speaker 40 The Under Signal isn't connected to a planet or a government, it's a system-wide collective.

Speaker 40 A lot of people think we're muckrakers and gossip peddlers, and to be fair, some of us are, but a lot of big stories start with us.

Speaker 10 So they're just being snobs.

Speaker 40 They are being snobs, Gloria. Thank you for saying so.

Speaker 40 Also, I think all of them want to overlook the fact that Bertaluna Restiana herself used to work for the Under Signal 2. She did? That's where she met my father.

Speaker 10 I see.

Speaker 10 So you're the unfortunate little ink spot on the family story, then?

Speaker 2 I am.

Speaker 40 They're not going to be too happy you invited me on this trip.

Speaker 10 They'll be fine. You know, I'm kind of a big deal around here.

Speaker 40 The 20-foot-tall statue tipped me.

Speaker 10 So, getting down to business. Yes.
Any idea what we're walking into right now?

Speaker 14 Not really.

Speaker 40 There's two earthlings being held on Silgoresh, and nobody knows why.

Speaker 40 I was hoping you could shed some light on things. Do you know who they are?

Speaker 5 I do. Who are they?

Speaker 10 Justin, here's the thing: you know about the diner and all the things it does.

Speaker 34 You heard the stories.

Speaker 16 Sure.

Speaker 16 Okay.

Speaker 10 What do you know about a guy named Kroc, the propagator?

Speaker 19 Nothing.

Speaker 40 Enlighten me.

Speaker 28 Please prepare for decontamination

Speaker 8 for what

Speaker 8 Okay,

Speaker 8 please proceed.

Speaker 29 Thank you.

Speaker 10 Hi. Clementine, what the fuck? I'm fine.
You're in prison.

Speaker 6 Uh, I don't, I don't think they call it a prison.

Speaker 41 Can you leave?

Speaker 50 No.

Speaker 10 It's a prison!

Speaker 6 Potato, potato, I guess.

Speaker 9 What happened?

Speaker 24 Uh,

Speaker 6 well, turns out when you get to a new planet and you tell them that you're a black hole that then turned into a person and then tore a path of destruction through all of existence and would have continued to, were it not for the staff of a magical diner.

Speaker 6 Some eyebrows go up.

Speaker 10 But you're just a person now.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I don't know much about this place, but I get the sense that everyone on this planet approaches things with an abundance of caution.

Speaker 10 Clementine, couldn't you have just told them you're a cocktail waitress or something?

Speaker 35 Hmm.

Speaker 6 That's not a bad idea. 2020 hindsight.

Speaker 10 You told them a completely unbelievable story and they just believed you?

Speaker 6 They had a lot of questions about what happened to us and how we got stranded in space and all that. And I guess they could have just called me crazy, but there was a bit of a fly in the ointment.

Speaker 10 What was that?

Speaker 18 It was me.

Speaker 12 Derek? Hey, Gloria.

Speaker 6 We all had to go through a physical analysis when we got here, and grandpa over here tripped a few of their alarms.

Speaker 19 Why?

Speaker 18 Remember how you said that if I came with you, that I would be a normal guy again?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 10 You're still not getting older. No.

Speaker 18 For whatever reason, I'm still the way I was.

Speaker 6 At first, they had him in one of these cells.

Speaker 6 This made me freak out. I start yelling at everybody, telling them it was my fault.

Speaker 18 Remember the hospital scene in terms of endearment?

Speaker 12 Give my daughter the shot!

Speaker 6 It was like that.

Speaker 21 I really scared them. And me.

Speaker 6 Anyway, they finally hooked me up to a lot of things and had a look at me.

Speaker 6 I guess they found something because now I'm in here and he's out there.

Speaker 10 So this entire time, the two of you have never left this island? Yeah.

Speaker 6 I hear the island they put the Earthlings on is great, though.

Speaker 48 I know.

Speaker 10 That's where I was.

Speaker 10 I showed up on Brody's deck.

Speaker 2 Oh my god, really?

Speaker 6 Yes. Okay, so

Speaker 6 how's it going?

Speaker 16 What?

Speaker 13 You know, with Brody.

Speaker 29 Are you trying to have girl talk with me right now?

Speaker 10 Yes. Clementine, you're trapped in a human aquarium.

Speaker 24 I know.

Speaker 10 Throw me a bone already. Clementine.

Speaker 8 Ugh.

Speaker 21 You...

Speaker 10 Oh, you were such a pain in my ass for such a long time.

Speaker 6 Yes, that's.

Speaker 10 I really was. And I didn't go through all this so that you could wind up like a box turtle in here.

Speaker 6 They seem pretty dead set on keeping me here, Gloria.

Speaker 10 We'll have to see about that.

Speaker 18 Gloria, I'm in this meeting with the High Chancellor, too.

Speaker 19 We should go. Okay.

Speaker 10 At Clementine, we're going to figure this out. Try not to make any messes in the next hour.

Speaker 12 I'll try.

Speaker 5 We'll be right back.

Speaker 6 Sweetie, can you bring me a snack?

Speaker 4 Of course. Okay.

Speaker 21 I love you.

Speaker 10 Do I have to do fucking everything around here, Derek? I guess so. Where am am I going?

Speaker 18 There's a people mover right here.

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 5 how are you?

Speaker 10 Very funny.

Speaker 18 I heard that you showed up here without the diner.

Speaker 5 How did that happen? Well,

Speaker 10 you're not going to believe this, Tarek, but I've got a great big mess to clean up, and it spans all of existence.

Speaker 17 Again, yeah.

Speaker 18 Sorry to add to your to-do list.

Speaker 10 It's not your fault.

Speaker 10 Can I ask you something?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 26 Are they.

Speaker 10 drugging her?

Speaker 12 No. She seems.

Speaker 10 I mean, I know the situation is bad, but she seems.

Speaker 18 Gloria, you can't just wave away guilt. It stays with you until it's gone, and sometimes it just takes time.

Speaker 26 I understand that.

Speaker 18 After all you went through with her, it was suddenly all gone. Her people were saved, and she now gets to live on a beautiful planet with the man she loves.

Speaker 2 That all sounds good. She never paid for it.

Speaker 46 She got off scot-free.

Speaker 10 What are you saying?

Speaker 18 She likes it in there.

Speaker 18 She feels like she's finally being punished.

Speaker 10 Oh, goddammit.

Speaker 10 This is where we're meeting her?

Speaker 40 Yeah, she'll probably have us wait for a while. It's a power thing.

Speaker 10 Great, because I have plenty of time. Who's this?

Speaker 10 This is Justin. He's the son of the former High Chancellor, who was a friend of ours and who I'm really missing right now.

Speaker 40 So is this the

Speaker 1 Immortal Guy?

Speaker 22 Yeah. Wild.

Speaker 10 Justin, where are we right now?

Speaker 40 This is the adjudication chamber. All decisions regarding quarantine are held here by tribunal.
You won't have to worry about them, though.

Speaker 40 There's a clause that states the High Chancellor can supersede the tribunal on special cases.

Speaker 10 And how is she going to be on this issue, do you think?

Speaker 14 Not sure.

Speaker 40 I know she really hates me, so I'm sure she's thrilled you brought me along.

Speaker 24 Great.

Speaker 40 I promise I'll be on my best behavior.

Speaker 1 Also, I have to sit all the way over there.

Speaker 40 Technically, I'm foreign press.

Speaker 1 Good luck, Gloria.

Speaker 48 Thanks.

Speaker 19 So,

Speaker 18 landed on Brody's porch, huh?

Speaker 12 Seriously?

Speaker 39 You too?

Speaker 19 Sorry.

Speaker 12 He's really great, Tarek.

Speaker 18 I'm sure.

Speaker 18 Why are you framing that like it's a problem?

Speaker 26 Oh, you may have heard.

Speaker 10 I've got a great big mess to clean up, and it spans all of existence.

Speaker 46 I did hear that.

Speaker 18 What does one have to do with the other?

Speaker 10 I've been hopping from one crisis to the next for a really long time.

Speaker 10 And then for the past few weeks, I've just

Speaker 10 stopped.

Speaker 34 He's got a little house on the beach, and

Speaker 18 you're afraid of liking it too much.

Speaker 17 Yeah,

Speaker 26 I guess.

Speaker 18 So, what if you do?

Speaker 10 So, what if I don't,

Speaker 10 even though it's wonderful?

Speaker 18 You can't be done with something until you're done with it, Gloria.

Speaker 18 You'll know when you're done. Strangely, it has nothing to do with how good your life is at the time.

Speaker 19 Where is he, by the way?

Speaker 10 He's visiting his children.

Speaker 25 I'm sorry?

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Speaker 2 Be there at Chase Center on January 18th.

Speaker 14 Go to HarlemGlobetrotters.com for your tickets to the 100-year tour.

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That's better H-E-L-P dot com slash burger.

Speaker 23 Hello, my ladies. Hello.

Speaker 23 Look at all of you. You're looking quite lovely, despite your confinement.

Speaker 23 I've been languishing without you, I must say.

Speaker 23 What is a mycologist without his fungi, I ask you?

Speaker 23 Though I am comforted by this glass cage they've put you in. The climate seems perfect.
The nutrients are all in place.

Speaker 23 I trust none of you have tried to slip your insidious little spores through the cracks in the glass.

Speaker 23 We don't want them getting ideas that you're trying to take over the planet, yes?

Speaker 23 They've yet to find a place for you all, sadly.

Speaker 23 I'm afraid it is our lot just to wait.

Speaker 23 All of us, the last of our kind.

Speaker 5 Yes?

Speaker 5 Hey there, Brody. Ma'am.

Speaker 23 Uh, Madame Chancellor? Your grace? I'm unsure how to address you.

Speaker 34 You can just call me Alondra. Very well.

Speaker 23 Alondra.

Speaker 32 Actually, that's too weird.

Speaker 34 Uh, call me Chancellor. I shall.
I'm sorry we haven't had a chance to talk.

Speaker 39 All sorts of things keep happening.

Speaker 23 Of course.

Speaker 23 Though I can't imagine what you'd need me for. I'm a scientist without a subject.

Speaker 34 I'd like you to look at something for me.

Speaker 23 Of course.

Speaker 34 Could you bring up that soil analysis in here, please?

Speaker 39 Just off the top of your head, what does this soil analysis data tell you?

Speaker 23 Oh, let us see.

Speaker 22 Well,

Speaker 23 of course, I would need to spend a bit more time with numbers such as these,

Speaker 23 but at first glance, I'd say that it's nutrient-rich, shows potential.

Speaker 23 I'm not so enthusiastic regarding the bacterial count, but such things will come along in time.

Speaker 5 What am I looking at?

Speaker 22 It's Earth.

Speaker 34 Earth? The environment there is bouncing back a lot faster than we thought it would. Clementine really did a number on the place.
We thought it would be hundreds of years.

Speaker 34 But, as you can see, there's already potential.

Speaker 23 Well, that's wonderful.

Speaker 5 It is.

Speaker 29 Chancellor,

Speaker 23 I imagine there are a great number of scientists in your ranks who could have told you the same as I did.

Speaker 34 Yeah, we've got one or two scientists on CGI, sure.

Speaker 23 Then I'm at a loss.

Speaker 34 A long time ago, when we were all still tiny creatures in the ocean, the islands of CGU,

Speaker 25 crabs.

Speaker 42 Little crab things? I can't remember their name.

Speaker 32 Oh.

Speaker 34 They would accidentally drag seeds of aquatic plants on shore.

Speaker 39 And eventually those seeds figured out how to live on land.

Speaker 34 The islands all got populated with this plant, and that plant prepared the soil so that other things could live on land too.

Speaker 5 Things like us. That's fascinating.

Speaker 34 How did it work on Earth?

Speaker 1 Mushrooms. Right.

Speaker 34 Big tall ones, right? Tall as trees. God, fungus is weird.

Speaker 34 Earth is very important to us, Brody.

Speaker 34 We were forced to use Earth as a bargaining chip during the war, and we've never felt right about it.

Speaker 32 It's in the the interest of the whole triad to right that wrong.

Speaker 5 I see.

Speaker 23 What are you asking of me, madam?

Speaker 34 I'm asking for a small group of people, yourself included,

Speaker 29 to go home.

Speaker 34 I want you to use these weird little things of yours to bring Earth back to life.

Speaker 34 You have the full support of Segius, of course.

Speaker 34 We'll make sure you have everything you need.

Speaker 8 Home?

Speaker 43 Yes.

Speaker 2 Of course, I've.

Speaker 23 I've never been.

Speaker 34 I know.

Speaker 23 I was born in a derelict spaceship. The only soil I've known beneath my feet has been the sand of your beaches.

Speaker 34 I'm fully aware of what I'm asking, Brody.

Speaker 32 This will be hard work.

Speaker 34 Living on Earth, such as it is, will be very challenging. And the work I'm asking you to do,

Speaker 34 making Earth a living, breathing place again,

Speaker 23 is work I'll not see completed in my lifetime.

Speaker 34 No.

Speaker 34 It'll take generations.

Speaker 34 But as it stands right now, the only one who can start that work is you.

Speaker 32 No pressure.

Speaker 34 A long time ago, the pyrophyte left Earth to search for new life on a new planet. That mission could continue.
But the irony being,

Speaker 34 you're colonizing your own planet.

Speaker 23 I'll have to think on this for a bit, Chancellor.

Speaker 5 Of course.

Speaker 39 Take all the time you need. The rest of your life can start any time you're ready.

Speaker 34 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go argue with your girlfriend.

Speaker 6 I used to be able to rip whole universes apart. What exactly do they think this glass box is going to do?

Speaker 10 Clementine?

Speaker 10 Are you going to behave yourself, or do I have to throw a blanket over your cage?

Speaker 6 It's your fault for not giving me a chew toy.

Speaker 24 Hello, all. Hey.

Speaker 23 How does it go in here?

Speaker 10 We're still waiting for Her Highness. How are the mushrooms?

Speaker 5 They're well.

Speaker 23 It was quite an illuminating meeting.

Speaker 10 What's going on?

Speaker 35 Hey there, kids. Shall we get this started?

Speaker 34 I hear Earthlings really love a courtroom drama.

Speaker 10 Is that what this is?

Speaker 5 A courtroom?

Speaker 35 Well, everyone's gonna make their case, and then I'm gonna make a decision. So, yes, I guess so.

Speaker 10 Fine.

Speaker 10 How do we start?

Speaker 35 First off, let me say that I have thousands of planets that I have to maintain, and I am currently on a tiny, secluded island talking to all of you.

Speaker 35 I hope that conveys to you how important it is to me that all of us come to a decision.

Speaker 29 Okay, I hear that.

Speaker 35 Also, I hope it conveys to you that I am busy as fuck. So, I'm going to sum up what I'm sure are all the arguments.

Speaker 29 Go for it.

Speaker 35 Gloria, I am holding Clementine here against her will because of her history as what can only be described as a terrifying and out-of-control space goddess.

Speaker 35 Just to pick one incident as an example, Clementine, you once.

Speaker 35 Let me make sure I'm reading this right. Sent a gigantic asteroid hurtling toward Earth without even meaning to.

Speaker 34 Is that accurate?

Speaker 35 Yes, ma'am. Shall I keep reading through all the things that Clementine has done?

Speaker 36 Uh, please don't.

Speaker 10 She's not that person anymore.

Speaker 35 Yes, right.

Speaker 35 Because the diner sucked all the gooey evil out of her. Is that right?

Speaker 10 That's right.

Speaker 35 Let's take a look at the big board.

Speaker 10 What is this?

Speaker 35 A human. A standard model.
All these emanations you're seeing are an energy signature.

Speaker 34 Every life form has one.

Speaker 35 Humans call it a bioelectric field. This is what we're supposed to see when we look at a human.

Speaker 1 Now,

Speaker 35 here's Clementines.

Speaker 35 God damn it. What's going on here? Clementine, what's going on here?

Speaker 50 I don't know, ma'am.

Speaker 42 Neither do I.

Speaker 35 Now, I'm not supposed to. I'm a politician.
But the scientists who are supposed to know what all this means, they also don't know.

Speaker 35 And that concerns me. Mainly because of Clementine's ability to do things like, and I'm quoting again, shoot friggin' laser beams from her hands.

Speaker 35 Can any of the other humans in the room shoot friggin laser beams from their hands

Speaker 26 No,

Speaker 35 we can't and now Gloria you have come here because you think that it's wrong for us to keep Clementine here. Yes, and I hear you when you say that she no longer has her powers.

Speaker 35 However, show of hands Who here is immortal?

Speaker 21 Oh, I see a hand up.

Speaker 10 Derek, put your hand down.

Speaker 6 Can I speak?

Speaker 10 Hang on. Chancellor, look.

Speaker 10 I understand your concerns.

Speaker 42 Thank you.

Speaker 38 I also don't care about your concerns.

Speaker 24 Wow.

Speaker 35 Okay, this is an unexpected tactic.

Speaker 10 Do you have prisons on Sidgeus? No. You do have laws, though.
And people break them. Yes.
Which one has she broken?

Speaker 35 The rules are different for someone like her.

Speaker 10 Then they're not rules.

Speaker 35 When I'm in this room, I'm the rules.

Speaker 45 Excuse me.

Speaker 43 Justin.

Speaker 40 Sidian law states that even though the chancellor can adjudicate on issues of quarantine, they must still follow the letter of the law.

Speaker 5 Thank you. I'm the rules.

Speaker 1 Wouldn't make a great t-shirt, though.

Speaker 35 Justin, can I get you anything over there? Some water?

Speaker 34 A gag for your mouth.

Speaker 40 Oh, I'm good, ma'am.

Speaker 6 Thank you. Can I speak, please?

Speaker 35 Go ahead, Clementine.

Speaker 6 Has anyone thought to ask me what I want?

Speaker 6 I have caused more pain and suffering than than any person in this universe.

Speaker 6 And after all that was over, I was allowed to have a happy life.

Speaker 6 It's been harder than I thought to accept all of that. I used the power that I had to destroy a lot of things and a lot of people.

Speaker 6 And

Speaker 6 as soon as I wanted to turn around and try to make amends, I found myself powerless to do that.

Speaker 6 I really

Speaker 6 tried to be happy about the idea of being happy, but it's too much.

Speaker 6 The past haunts me too much for me to do that. I know that staying here in this cage won't fix anything, but if it's all I have,

Speaker 6 if it's all I can do, then I'll do it.

Speaker 40 That still doesn't make it right or legal.

Speaker 43 Just a need.

Speaker 10 You can't lock someone up because of their potential to do harm. You can only punish someone when harm has been done.

Speaker 35 Harm has been done, Gloria. Earth is dead.
And it's because of her, right?

Speaker 35 She did that.

Speaker 35 Should there be no punishment for that?

Speaker 10 Clementine, did you know you were destroying Earth?

Speaker 51 No.

Speaker 29 There.

Speaker 10 She didn't know she was doing anything.

Speaker 35 Maybe that part, sure.

Speaker 35 Clementine, did you knowingly destroy other things?

Speaker 34 Lots of other things.

Speaker 42 I'm sorry.

Speaker 40 Are we letting prisoners decide their own sentences now?

Speaker 2 Oh my god, would you shut up?

Speaker 10 Clementine, you're just trying to get them to punish you because you feel like you need to be punished.

Speaker 6 I'm trying not to feel the way I'm feeling anymore. Gloria, I'm trying to be able to move through life without feeling like it's

Speaker 2 like it's loot,

Speaker 6 like I've stolen something.

Speaker 6 This feels so horrible every day.

Speaker 6 I have a man who loves me, and it hurts.

Speaker 6 It's not supposed to hurt.

Speaker 6 I don't want it to.

Speaker 23 She'll come with me.

Speaker 35 What? Come again, Brody.

Speaker 23 May I speak, ma'am?

Speaker 35 I think you already are.

Speaker 23 If I am the chief of sinners, I am the chief of sufferers also.

Speaker 23 Describes Clementine quite well, does it not?

Speaker 23 It's a devilish thing to feel something and have no place for it.

Speaker 23 Some wish for revenge when those who've transgressed against them have long left the earth.

Speaker 23 Some wish to hold their loved ones who've passed from us,

Speaker 23 like a painter who's lost their vision.

Speaker 23 I myself am in love with a woman who I know one day will have to leave me.

Speaker 23 What do I do with that love then?

Speaker 23 Where is its place?

Speaker 23 Clementine doesn't wish to be punished. Punishment is merely what she has settled for.

Speaker 23 What she wishes to do is to make amends, but with no place to offer amends.

Speaker 23 No place until today.

Speaker 23 Just now, the Chancellor made an offer to me.

Speaker 23 An offer to return to Earth and to bring it back to life.

Speaker 23 Just me and my army of fungi.

Speaker 23 Clementine and I worked side by side for years, keeping the dream of Earth alive inside a glass dome in the void of space.

Speaker 23 If she so desires to make amends, then let it be there.

Speaker 23 Let her work to revive the dream of Earth that has died.

Speaker 23 Anything else would surely eat her alive.

Speaker 23 Brody, I would have told you, but things are moving quite fast today.

Speaker 35 Clementine, how do you feel about all this?

Speaker 23 What do you say, Red?

Speaker 23 Shall we get our hands dirty once again?

Speaker 6 You sure about this?

Speaker 23 You'll have to come as well, old man. Would be good to have someone along who's actually been to Earth.

Speaker 18 You know, I did leave a lot of my stuff there.

Speaker 35 Eyes up here, everybody.

Speaker 35 Clementine.

Speaker 35 If you'll let me, I'll do it.

Speaker 5 Me too.

Speaker 23 I as well.

Speaker 22 Okay.

Speaker 35 Well, there's that problem solved.

Speaker 26 Good.

Speaker 35 And now on to a much bigger problem.

Speaker 10 God damn it. He just made a whole speech.

Speaker 34 I know.

Speaker 35 And it was lovely, Brody.

Speaker 34 Seriously, tears.

Speaker 35 But here's the problem.

Speaker 10 That's my pager.

Speaker 35 Yes, it is.

Speaker 35 You gave this to us when you arrived to see if we could use it to help you get back to the diner. We have a whole working group devoted to getting you back to the diner.

Speaker 35 Everybody, look up on the big board again.

Speaker 35 This is how we get you back to the diner.

Speaker 35 It's essentially a beacon.

Speaker 21 A really, really big one.

Speaker 35 We would have to repurpose an entire warp gate to make it work. It would take a massive amount of resources in a time when everybody needs resources.

Speaker 22 We just fought a war, Gloria.

Speaker 35 There's a lot we need to rebuild.

Speaker 34 But every chancellor of every committee loves you, Gloria.

Speaker 35 So everybody is willing to make the sacrifice.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 35 every Chancellor of every committee is also terrified of Clementine.

Speaker 35 If I set her free, I doubt you'll have the goodwill necessary to make this beacon. To sum up,

Speaker 35 I can either get you back to the diner, or I can release Clementine.

Speaker 35 I don't see any way to make them both happen.

Speaker 40 That sounds pretty pessimistic to me.

Speaker 35 Remember inviting you into this conversation.

Speaker 23 Surely, there's some way to do both.

Speaker 2 You can't just sit there with a plan.

Speaker 39 Kids, I'm a pretty powerful lady, but I'm not a dictator.

Speaker 22 God, I would love it if I was a dictator.

Speaker 35 I would have so many shoes. But sadly,

Speaker 35 everything is done with consensus here on CGIs, and there's nothing I can do about that.

Speaker 5 Oh,

Speaker 40 can I quote you on the dictator part?

Speaker 10 Enough!

Speaker 10 Let Clementine go.

Speaker 6 I can't believe this is the first time we've gotten to walk on the beach. I know.

Speaker 6 Now we're leaving.

Speaker 19 There's beaches on Earth.

Speaker 6 Are they like this?

Speaker 18 Clementine, you were traveling the Earth for years. You know what Earth is like.

Speaker 50 I know. I.

Speaker 6 That doesn't feel like me, though.

Speaker 6 Feels like a

Speaker 6 years-long psychotic break.

Speaker 6 Which one's your favorite?

Speaker 5 Brazil, probably.

Speaker 32 Brazil.

Speaker 19 Yes.

Speaker 6 Where you lived with wife number two.

Speaker 19 Yes.

Speaker 47 Go ahead. Let me have it.

Speaker 2 How dare you marry someone other than me?

Speaker 18 What?

Speaker 6 I'm going to die someday.

Speaker 19 This took a turn. And you're not.

Speaker 27 I suppose that's true.

Speaker 6 I'll just be leaving you again.

Speaker 18 You can't seriously be feeling guilty about dying someday.

Speaker 46 I am. Don't, though.

Speaker 50 So, what?

Speaker 6 I

Speaker 6 die and then you just wander the earth like a lonely soul again?

Speaker 18 I'm gonna say something that doesn't sound great, but stick with me, okay?

Speaker 32 Okay,

Speaker 18 outliving your loved ones is actually not that bad.

Speaker 18 What? Up until around the 1850s, I had this down to a science.

Speaker 18 When it got time for me to leave, because people were growing suspicious of the guy who doesn't get any older, it was time to fake my death yet again.

Speaker 18 And that was really easy because, God, there were so many shipwrecks back then.

Speaker 18 You buy a ship, say you'll be back in eight weeks, then you put some holes in the hull and you let nature take its course. I did it all the time.

Speaker 6 Oh, how many times?

Speaker 18 Oh, at least 20.

Speaker 19 Anyway.

Speaker 2 You worry about your kids, you worry about your wife.

Speaker 46 Wives.

Speaker 18 Wives, yes, anyway.

Speaker 18 After the faking of my death, I would always work my way back to where they were, and I would stay near them, just on the fringes.

Speaker 18 I would watch my kids grow up, get married, have kids of their own.

Speaker 18 I would stay with them their whole lives, just on the fringes.

Speaker 18 Sometimes wearing a funny mustache. I would make sure they were all right.
Always there, like a guardian angel. If they had financial trouble, there would be an anonymous letter in the mail.

Speaker 18 If their lives were threatened, I would get them to safety.

Speaker 46 All from the fringes.

Speaker 18 And on the days of their funerals, I would watch from afar as their loved ones cried. It was

Speaker 18 surprisingly lovely.

Speaker 46 It was sort of a gift to be able to watch their whole lives play out.

Speaker 32 But I would worry about you, though.

Speaker 46 I'll be fine.

Speaker 46 I'm still an old Roman Catholic.

Speaker 18 I believe that one day the universe will finally decide it's my time to go.

Speaker 19 And when I do, on that day, I'll look up and

Speaker 4 there you'll be.

Speaker 50 Me and your other two wives.

Speaker 19 Yes, but I'm sure we can work out a schedule.

Speaker 27 How do you feel about Tuesdays and Thursdays?

Speaker 32 Oh, fuck you.

Speaker 18 We've got a lot to do before the death stuff, honey.

Speaker 19 I know.

Speaker 5 We have to make a whole new planet.

Speaker 4 I know.

Speaker 27 God, that used to be easy for you.

Speaker 22 You're actually gonna have to do the work now.

Speaker 13 Oh, how about you fake your death right now?

Speaker 13 Welcome to the Idol of Remembrance. It is here we remember Bertinuna Restiano, first first highest.

Speaker 10 So hilariously, as soon as I got here and saw you,

Speaker 10 I started crafting my goodbye speech.

Speaker 23 That's a bit cut before the horse, isn't it?

Speaker 12 Yeah.

Speaker 10 It's pretty ridiculous.

Speaker 10 But now here we are.

Speaker 8 You're the one leaving.

Speaker 23 I've not yet crafted a speech.

Speaker 10 I didn't think so.

Speaker 10 You were kind of thrown to the wolves by the Chancellor.

Speaker 23 Doesn't quite feel real yet.

Speaker 10 How are you doing?

Speaker 10 It's a lot to heap on top of one person.

Speaker 23 You mean creating Earth again from scratch? Just me alone, hovering over the silent waters. On the first day, I shall create the earth and sky.

Speaker 48 Brody,

Speaker 13 it's a lot.

Speaker 23 It is, Gloria. It is.

Speaker 23 But it needs to be done.

Speaker 23 You know, as soon as it was all offered to me by the Chancellor,

Speaker 23 in that moment, I believe I understood you a bit more.

Speaker 10 Really?

Speaker 10 Why?

Speaker 23 I hope you understand that there is nothing I'd like more than to sit in that home by the sea while you feverishly cook literally every fish in the ocean.

Speaker 12 Yeah.

Speaker 23 That sounds like a life to me.

Speaker 23 A good one.

Speaker 26 It does.

Speaker 23 And yet, there can be something greater in us,

Speaker 23 greater than lovely moments by the sea.

Speaker 23 Forgive me again for rolling out the Scottish Masters, but it was Thomas Carlyle.

Speaker 23 Man's unhappiness, as as I construe,

Speaker 23 comes of his greatness.

Speaker 23 It is because there is an infinite in him,

Speaker 23 which with all his cunning he cannot quite bury under the finite.

Speaker 23 I do love you, Gloria.

Speaker 23 And in some strange way, the greatest expression of that love is in doing what you would do.

Speaker 5 But

Speaker 23 I'll take you with me when I go.

Speaker 23 Wherever I go.

Speaker 10 Sounds like you have written a goodbye speech.

Speaker 23 That was just off the dome. No planning whatsoever.
Just think if I'd thought about it for a minute.

Speaker 29 Hello. Hey, guys.

Speaker 15 Welcome back.

Speaker 38 Gloria, I'm sorry that we couldn't tell you about Tarek and Clementine. We were under very strict orders.

Speaker 10 I understand.

Speaker 10 It all worked out in the end.

Speaker 31 For what it's worth,

Speaker 29 we think you did the right thing.

Speaker 10 Thank you.

Speaker 10 I hear I may have pissed a bunch of people off.

Speaker 38 Perhaps, but Ixu and myself have been circulating some very emphatic memorandums.

Speaker 31 It may be the most emphatically I've ever written.

Speaker 38 We're stressing to all the councils that the letter of the law is followed at every turn.

Speaker 45 And I repeated to them an old earth saying:

Speaker 31 responsible governance is a lazy Susan at a Chinese food restaurant.

Speaker 31 Sometimes you have to have the vegetable delight.

Speaker 10 That's an

Speaker 16 earth thing.

Speaker 38 We hear you'd like to finally see your statue.

Speaker 26 Yeah,

Speaker 10 I figure we have a lot to talk about.

Speaker 1 Of course, you can follow that path right there.

Speaker 10 That will lead you to the quarry. Thanks.

Speaker 26 Here I go.

Speaker 23 Give her my regards.

Speaker 34 Brody, I think it's incredibly heroic of you to go back to Earth.

Speaker 49 Everyone's talking about it.

Speaker 39 Everyone.

Speaker 31 I want you to know that I'm personally monitoring the loadout package for the colony, and I'm going to make sure you have everything you need. Thank you.

Speaker 29 Seriously, if you don't have everything you need, heads will roll, Brody.

Speaker 5 Thank you.

Speaker 52 Bienvenida, welcome to the idol of remembrance for Gloria Juan Amelen Vicherers de Mendoza.

Speaker 52 At the beginning of this age of turmoil, it was Gloria's Guirera war against the Ten Empire that awakened the spirit of rebellion in Detrayad.

Speaker 10 Oh my god, you guys, the Latino accent, seriously?

Speaker 52 Were it not for Gloria's act of bravery during this time, historians believe that Detrayad would never have realized that change is possible, and that through bravery and fortitude, the world can be born anew.

Speaker 26 Gloria.

Speaker 13 Oh, you look pretty ridiculous up there.

Speaker 29 I mean, look at you, you're huge.

Speaker 29 Well,

Speaker 10 at least I got the hair right.

Speaker 10 How did this happen?

Speaker 10 Remember when we got a loan for a taco joint?

Speaker 47 Look at you.

Speaker 10 You do not look like someone who has ever filled out a loan application.

Speaker 26 A lot of people would really love this, you know?

Speaker 10 A big statue of themselves.

Speaker 10 I've been trying to figure out why I didn't want to come see you.

Speaker 10 You know what I think it is?

Speaker 10 David Bankston,

Speaker 10 our boss at the Jack in the Box.

Speaker 10 He won best Jack in the Box franchise in the Southwest region one year, and he made us watch a video of his speech.

Speaker 10 Now, you and I both know what made that the best Jack in the Box in the Southwest, right?

Speaker 39 It was us.

Speaker 10 It was us

Speaker 10 and Lear Rose.

Speaker 22 Remember her?

Speaker 10 And Chip.

Speaker 10 And oh my God, remember Little Mira Leopard Paws?

Speaker 10 We made it great.

Speaker 10 And fucking David Bankston got in front of a bunch of jack in the box owners and gave a speech like he had tamed the West or something.

Speaker 10 I don't want to be like that.

Speaker 10 I I had the Chancellor fly me to the Forbidden Island because I had to go free Clementine.

Speaker 10 Because that's us, right?

Speaker 10 Fixing, fixing, fixing all the time.

Speaker 24 We put

Speaker 12 all of it on ourselves.

Speaker 10 But you know what? That entire time,

Speaker 10 I

Speaker 10 didn't do anything.

Speaker 10 I was trying to solve a problem, but the problem wasn't solved by me.

Speaker 10 It was a a rogue journalist, and a 700-year-old man,

Speaker 10 and a goofy redhead, and two data nerds,

Speaker 10 and our

Speaker 10 Scottish boyfriend.

Speaker 10 It's never you and me.

Speaker 10 It's us.

Speaker 5 It's all of us.

Speaker 10 But I'm the one that gets the statue.

Speaker 34 Maybe heroes are a bad idea, Gloria.

Speaker 10 Maybe they make us expect too much of people.

Speaker 10 And it's never you and me.

Speaker 16 It's

Speaker 12 all of us.

Speaker 47 Pardon me.

Speaker 12 Do you require assistance?

Speaker 10 Oh, hi. No, I'm fine.
Forgive me.

Speaker 18 I heard speaking and thought I should investigate. Oh,

Speaker 10 I'm okay.

Speaker 23 I'm Gloria.

Speaker 18 I am Assistive Unit Devin7777.

Speaker 32 Oh.

Speaker 29 Wait.

Speaker 29 Are you a robot?

Speaker 2 I'm an artificial assistive unit.

Speaker 10 Sorry.

Speaker 18 You're not incorrect to call me a robot. We are placed in several areas all throughout the capital, as well as in universities and research centers.

Speaker 27 Wow.

Speaker 10 You look really lifelike. Thank you.

Speaker 27 Are you enjoying your idol?

Speaker 22 It's uh

Speaker 26 it's a little overwhelming, Devin.

Speaker 18 Subjects have reported emotional discomfort when viewing their idols.

Speaker 10 No kidding.

Speaker 18 We have found that in any society, it is important to have several loci of gratitude.

Speaker 29 Loci of gratitude.

Speaker 24 Okay.

Speaker 27 Is there anything else I can assist you with?

Speaker 10 No.

Speaker 10 I'm.

Speaker 10 I'm sorry, Devin. Your voice sounds very familiar to me.

Speaker 46 Really? I have no record of us meeting.

Speaker 10 No, we haven't met. I'm just.

Speaker 10 Can you do me a favor?

Speaker 46 Of course.

Speaker 10 Can you say,

Speaker 10 I am Steve?

Speaker 46 I am Steve.

Speaker 10 Oh my god, that's crazy.

Speaker 46 To what are you referring?

Speaker 10 Your voice. It reminds me of this other robot I met one time.

Speaker 5 Fascinating.

Speaker 29 Yeah.

Speaker 26 He was called Bufar.

Speaker 18 Can you repeat that, please?

Speaker 12 Bufar.

Speaker 17 Devin?

Speaker 19 Processing.

Speaker 18 Gloria, can you tell me where you encountered this Bufar?

Speaker 29 Oh,

Speaker 27 sure.

Speaker 10 Do you know what Midnight Burger is?

Speaker 18 I have access to all Sidian knowledge bases.

Speaker 5 Okay, okay.

Speaker 10 Well, we had shown up on a planet and there was a really bad wreck there of a spaceship. The only thing that survived the crash was Bufar.
He was the robot that ran the ship.

Speaker 4 Processing.

Speaker 18 Gloria, can you tell me the name of the ship?

Speaker 26 Uh oh. No.

Speaker 10 I don't remember the name of the ship.

Speaker 2 Do these names mean anything to you?

Speaker 46 Therung Younger?

Speaker 2 Eliex Sears?

Speaker 10 Lowen Regan.

Speaker 10 That was the crew.

Speaker 2 Was the name of the ship the Vargan?

Speaker 10 That sounds familiar.

Speaker 18 Gloria, I have alerted your handlers, Borsch and Ixio.

Speaker 10 Uh what's going on?

Speaker 18 Can you tell me if anything of the Vargon was saved aboard Midnight Burger?

Speaker 5 Uh,

Speaker 42 yes.

Speaker 10 I mean, kind of. We saved Bufar, but then Laif used him for spare parts.

Speaker 18 Was the processing center still operational?

Speaker 10 There was some sort of failure, and his brain or whatever went silent.

Speaker 43 I see.

Speaker 10 But then Laif did use it to run a spacesuit thing.

Speaker 18 It was was operational on some level?

Speaker 10 Yes.

Speaker 34 Devin, was that ship from here?

Speaker 46 It was, Gloria.

Speaker 10 Oh my god.

Speaker 38 Gloria, is everything okay?

Speaker 37 What's going on?

Speaker 18 I have sent a transcript of our conversation to your data screens.

Speaker 2 Please read them.

Speaker 5 Okay. All right.

Speaker 46 Gloria, a very long time ago, before interstellar travel, a small group of planets established contact with each other via a quantum tunnel.

Speaker 22 Oh, shit.

Speaker 5 Holy fuck.

Speaker 18 This group of planets was called the First Coalition. It was the first incident of interstellar cooperation in the triad.
The Vargin was the first collaborative project between all of these planets.

Speaker 46 The ship was lost.

Speaker 5 Holy fuck.

Speaker 19 Oh, shit.

Speaker 46 It is one of the central images of our partnership, a symbol of a world that could have been before the warp came.

Speaker 10 Anomaly X1.

Speaker 5 What did you say?

Speaker 10 What did you say? That was something they were looking for, right?

Speaker 10 Anomaly X1?

Speaker 11 That is correct. That's us.

Speaker 17 Anomaly X1.

Speaker 10 That was something that Bufar realized right before he went offline.

Speaker 10 The diner was the anomaly.

Speaker 32 Get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 15 No fucking way.

Speaker 46 This data, it could be preserved.

Speaker 10 I don't know. It's still there, though.
It's.

Speaker 2 It's by the dumpster. We have to get that data.
Hell yeah, we do.

Speaker 18 Please contact the High Chancellor.

Speaker 45 I've got it.

Speaker 43 She's going to be so busy.

Speaker 46 I'm initiating a working group with all Devin units.

Speaker 10 Gorsh, what's happening? Here's an Earth term.

Speaker 32 The Holy Grail? Sure. You have it.

Speaker 38 That data is the most important data in the history of our planet, and we thought it was lost.

Speaker 10 Bluefar was really badly damaged, Borsch.

Speaker 38 With the data reconstruction processes we have these days, data is never lost.

Speaker 10 It's just waiting to be found. This is really great for you guys.

Speaker 38 It's really great for all of us, Gloria. Why? Because we need the diner here, and we need it right now.

Speaker 38 That huge beacon that the Chancellor said we couldn't build, she's going to have to build it now.

Speaker 10 Oh my god!

Speaker 9 Are you fucking kidding me?

Speaker 40 This is Justin broadcasting on the Undersignal. I'm here on CGS during a historic moment.

Speaker 40 Any minute now, CGS is going to fire up a massive creation designed to attract Midnight Burger here to Cegious.

Speaker 40 It was recently revealed to this reporter that onboard Midnight Burger is an ancient set of data from the wreck of the Vargin itself.

Speaker 40 For those of you unclear on coalition history, the Vargon is a symbol that looms large for the coalition planets.

Speaker 40 It was the first example of interstellar cooperation, and for many, a symbol of a cooperative world that could have existed before the time of the Warp Gates and the reign of the Ted Empire.

Speaker 46 I, uh...

Speaker 40 You know, I don't talk about my mother a lot on these broadcasts because I know how much she hated it when I would comment in the first person on news reports.

Speaker 40 But she'll forgive me in this one instance.

Speaker 40 She loved this story.

Speaker 40 I can recall many times when I was a kid and she would tell me the bedtime story of the Vargan and its heroic crew.

Speaker 40 It's a shame she's not here to see it.

Speaker 40 At the end of the story, she would always say,

Speaker 40 That's the lesson of the Vargon, Justin.

Speaker 40 Great things are always done together.

Speaker 40 No heroes, no Mavericks.

Speaker 2 Together.

Speaker 40 Together, or not at all.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 40 The countdown has begun.

Speaker 40 Cross your fingers, CGIans.

Speaker 20 Not every age can be an age of heroes.

Speaker 20 There must be an age that follows.

Speaker 20 And what is that age?

Speaker 20 The hero had found herself in an age that all heroes should strive for.

Speaker 20 An age that has no need of heroes.

Speaker 20 An age where none need rise above the masses.

Speaker 26 An age where all move hand in hand together.

Speaker 20 The most valorous death of the hero is not on the battlefield or in the mouths of dark beasts.

Speaker 20 It is in the eyes of all,

Speaker 20 seeing the hero in each other.

Speaker 20 Bufar,

Speaker 9 Bufar, can you hear me?

Speaker 2 Processing,

Speaker 48 Gloria, Yes.

Speaker 10 Yes, do you remember me?

Speaker 18 I have incomplete data.

Speaker 2 Please explain.

Speaker 5 Bufar unit.

Speaker 19 I am Devin 7777. Please acknowledge command code 576774.

Speaker 18 576774.

Speaker 18 Acknowledged.

Speaker 27 All of your data ports are damaged.

Speaker 18 I will attempt data exchange via audio data broadcast. Please acknowledge.

Speaker 18 Acknowledged. Begin transfer.

Speaker 46 Initial data transfer complete.

Speaker 47 What are you doing?

Speaker 27 The Bufar unit has been debriefed. I'm beginning data transfer.

Speaker 50 Bufar?

Speaker 28 Gloria.

Speaker 10 Yes, I'm right here.

Speaker 28 The crew.

Speaker 30 Their data has been saved?

Speaker 50 Yes, Bufar.

Speaker 2 Their stories.

Speaker 28 their lives,

Speaker 10 yes,

Speaker 28 Goria.

Speaker 18 How have you done this?

Speaker 10 We all did it, Bufar

Speaker 10 together,

Speaker 28 Goria.

Speaker 28 I am home.

Speaker 8 Yes.

Speaker 33 Thanks for listening to Midnight Burger, y'all.

Speaker 7 Be sure and tune in this time next month for more adventures in the vastness.

Speaker 33 And if time and tide roil you too harshly, or diurnal courses leave you with no safe havens, just remember, we're out there, somewhere, looking for you.

Speaker 7 We open at six.

Speaker 2 Midnight Burger is brought to you in part by our Monte Cristo level and above supporters.

Speaker 2 Wilson, Billy, Bertberg, Bethany, 2nd Bethany, Scotty, most definitely not Bethany, Starbucks Union Barista Bethany, and the Red Cup Rebellion, super sexy secret seasonal Sasquatch silently seeks crazy cool cryptid coalition created by bravely battling Bethany's badly beat.

Speaker 2 I taped a knife to my Roomba and now it says it has to go fight in an interdimensional Bethany war?

Speaker 2 Reesy P brings a battalion of Betsies to beguile both Bethany Blocks and Thosales Bethany Maximus, Lord of Kingwood, Texas. Bethany in a Bethany mask.
You call her Bethany, I call her Hedphany.

Speaker 2 The goblins ride to the aid of the Bethanies. Jason, commander of the Bethany Hunters, McDonald.
The Bethanies demand more Omega Station.

Speaker 2 Oddkeep, the sentient lighthouse, watching for wayward Bethanies. The faceless old Bethany who secretly lives in your home.
Balionfair, the Knight of the Silver Flames, battled billions of Bethanies.

Speaker 2 Bethany, the Lone Star Edition. There are only 134 MB fanfiction and no Bethany.
CJ's Big BBQ Bistro for Bethanies. Joji the Birdwatcher, disguised as a Bethany.
The Bethany of Bethanies.

Speaker 2 Some of the Bethanies may secretly be yet another Lafe. Master Ugwe has descended from the spirit realm in order to bring peace to the ongoing Bethany War.

Speaker 2 Physic the Goodbush, definitely not one of the bad Bethanies funding rebel Bethanies to overflow the duly elected Bethanies. My milkshake brings all the Bethanies to the diner.

Speaker 2 Three pandas in a trench coat named Bethany. Dr.
Mojo postulates the end list endlessly splintering off as Bethany and Burbert's caboose until it's end lists all the way down.

Speaker 2 Dave and Buster's server manager ready to serve all the Bethanies of Monte Cristo. NB Bethany's cut your car in half with a laser saw.
I can't can't believe it's not Bethany.

Speaker 2 Chase and her army of turtles join the Bethany War. Dr.
Professor Rev. Bethany Wethany Lethanyy Woofy McFluffenberger, M.D.
Ph.D.

Speaker 2 Esquire, and that's not pretentious at all, is looking for a cure to the Bethany mutation that the Society of Bethany's began the war with so many years ago. Topher, the sporadic, gay Bethany.

Speaker 2 Arnold Rumspringer, the demise of the Temple of Bethany's. Bethany reading in a green field.
Bubble Butt Bethany has banana breath. Bethany 2, electric boogaloo.
I pushed her, Bethany, that is.

Speaker 2 Chad Hatter, space mage in the war against the Bethanies. Kinran, cosplaying as a Bethany.
Lady Bethany, aka Mrs. Turkey Spit.

Speaker 2 Wilbur Winklewright, Wristwatch Wrangler of West Worcestershire, bamboozled by the bajillions of bustling Bethany's Bethanies, belligerently blocking his sight of the devious Rednell.

Speaker 2 Rednell, hiding in a crowd of Bethanies to avoid capture by Wiley Wilbur Winklewright, wristwatch wrangler of West Worcestershire. Bailey's Bethany Burger.
Bethany, hold the Beth.

Speaker 2 Billy Rose Stole My Bethanies. Mr.
Squizzle-Sizzle-Wizzle-Fizzle the Horrendous apologizes for conspiring in the Bethany War. Invites for tea are being sent now.

Speaker 2 Alexandre Laroque has brought La Guillotine to assist the Bethanies in their survival war. Vive la Révolution.

Speaker 2 The Julius Bohannon Foundation, the coalition of patrons named Bethany, and contributions to your TED station from viewers like you.

Speaker 2 Byro the motherfucking dragon is willing to solve the Bethany War with Yahtzee. Sernoculus the Space Knight, who protects all the Bethanies.
Cowboy and Sasquatch hunt Bethany's.

Speaker 2 James Harlow saw the claw and named it Bethany. Sonic Boy99 would like a Bethany butt sandwich, but will settle for a fish in a bag.

Speaker 2 Kay the Flying Penguin says honk honk to all the Bethanies out there. Wandering Bethany Biscuit.
Glorbnar7, now granting refugee status to victims fleeing the Bethany Wars. Bethany in a random place.

Speaker 2 Jalen Lanaris, secretly an NB Bethany. The Kells fights with the Bethanies.

Speaker 2 In the mysterious AZHQ, I'll grant you that we have a multiplicity of Mics, a jumble of James's, a trifecta of Tony's, one of whom still wants to be Laif, but sadly, no Bethanies.

Speaker 2 Eris, the goddess of Bethany's, but Bethany, I made biscuits. Green Mountain Hermit, deaf allergic to Bethany stew.

Speaker 2 Lost Basan Prison is now an all-inclusive resort for the Bethanies and their family and friends. Never too late to Bethany bandwagon.
Bethany Boppity Boom. I'm Avil's evil twin sister, Bethany.

Speaker 2 The real fairy godmother says, if you Bethanies don't knock it off, I'll turn this audio drama around, so help me. Alphant Soup Person, Knight of the Order of Bethanies.

Speaker 2 Still Casper's number one fan, but now armed with a quantum spatula and ready to duel every Bethany in the multiverse with breakfast wisdom. Hicks Bethany Mates.

Speaker 2 Don't mind dances with frozen burritos hiding in the deep freeze till the Bethanies end their war.

Speaker 2 Crookum, Donald Moat, Daniela Yacom, The Space Trucker, Chadwick Conan Doyle III, The Bullsack Fleet is at your service.

Speaker 2 Jodi Green, Michael Peters, Political Knitter, Lily, Fizz Anslow, Brendan Schoneman, Bob Lobster, I divided by zero and now I'm undefined. Ah ah!

Speaker 2 Mag Tremor, Rod Stewart the Sailor Slayer, James We Met, Emily Chatterton, Ash Morningstar, Miss Maxine. I'm a great juggler.
I juggle my responsibilities every day. That counts, right?

Speaker 2 Golf Gorilla, Shut Up Mikey, Sidney Staples, Herpaway Spray, Kevin O'Malley, Invisible Guerrilla, The Mrs.

Speaker 2 Poland, Zemaniac, Fridge, Hop Loves a Thugbot Named Francis, Pam the Infinite, and Thou, Revolutionary Inclined Ocelot, Matt Howler, Andrew Bear, Butterfly Fox, Congregation of Alligators Wearing Groucho Glasses, Irma the Llama, 27 Keep It Tight, Chip Pelzer, Joden,

Speaker 2 Grim Knight, Brian Romero, Kaldrak, Ragnar Jensen, Addison Weirdo Wagner, Shua the Druid is composting the rich for a salad bar, Araman0305, Laif is my role model, Jim Weathers, Titus Koslov, Echoes of Acheron, I'm a Kung Fu Panda on the Wind, CB Radio, The Intergalactic House of Cats, Demand a Free Palestine, Electromancer, Chekhov's Space Cannon, Corey's Census, Surf and Turf Telecoms, I'm and Jinn, Red and Dusty with his Garden Goddess, Kobe's Dingleberry, Mystic Monster for Chaos, Ziggy Dreadful, Johnny Texas, G-Wing, Frank One, Figgy Aloysius, and the Ooni Moonies featuring Milo Kaba Kaiju.

Speaker 2 I'm just here to refill the Parmesan cheese.

Speaker 2 It is Sparks, Damn Scrub, Paratoc the Furbalg, Lost Girl Lou, Christopher Byram, Middle American Penguin, Shauna Welch, Crocheted Cosmos, Jarred Patton, Andy the Celestial Penguin, Messino's Lips, Laf's Bathrobe, Misty Love Bug, Bo Nunley, Ariana Castillo, Lisa McElhaney, The Rat Sorcerer, Lita Medtinger, Marco, Lethargic God, Friend, as in, Your Best, Lime Ghost, M, Jared Armstrong, Jay the Irascible, The Great and Powerful Spatilda, The Magic Committee, Ian Full, A River Otter and Their Gender-Neutral Partner, The Haven Chronicles, One Galactic Year with Big Potato 99, aka the Rat Lady, aka Bumblebee, aka aka 47, Kai, just a little guy, Dale Van Hoos, Ender Wright, Mark Neza Waritz, Xenia the Capturer of Light, Muckle Wang, Duncan Albert, Theoretical Chemist, Xavier Dasher, Chris Loves to Read, Katie Michalik, Greg Andrews Lyons, Just Matt 85, Patrick G, That Girl Gracie, Magnus von Kaffenheim, Ball Bags the Private Plunderer of Necro Pants Gold, Longtime Lurker, Scooter, The Unlucky Son, Jennifer Myers, a chef named JJ wants to apply to be Gloria's new line cook, Lady Lazarus, Anazi, Lord of Stories, Donny Darko, aka Darko the Destroyer, Tom Shin, Caitlin and C.T.'s Neverending Podcast Adventures, Whisperdan, Alexis Walker, Keo the Panda Puppy Forklift Operator, Ruby Cherries, Nick Faye, Julie and Her Man Servant, Olin, Justin and Amy Triplett, Jen Sims, Penpen, Ring to the Motas, The Leathermans, Lukewarm Fart, Odd Commodity, Jen Before, Ander Ho, Annabelle and Leonard Elfs at the Muffin Madness Cafe, Earthwitch, Leah Prime, Gregory Santoro, Mothmole, Not the Fucky Fried Chicken, Robert Drapeza, Iono, Caitlin Hoagland, Jonathan Tolbert, Mr.

Speaker 2 PutItOn06, Hedgehog Hen, Jackson Bell, Katie Chambers, Jay the Podcast Lover, Dick Rickles, Chapter President, Damn Glad to Meet You, Malcolm Flynn, Ezekiel Lansdowne, Samuel Lee, Aria Fioria, Joseatron Prime.

Speaker 2 Oh my god, I forgot to change my name from Nicholas Beckler to something more cheeky and fun.

Speaker 2 Arwen the Freer, Throat Goat666 I Am Your Father, Andy Slawson, Inconceivable Kai, Nick Waycaster, Gotham Still Fucked Up, Batman Really Ain't Doin' Shit when you think about it, No Good Monk, Sarbad Sayed, Pugalicious Freshington III, Esquire, Jonald Grimbus, Tasmanik Starting to Shift at 6, Matt Knight Bouchager, Gavin Mori, Damitri, Andromeda, Stephen the Choi, Gabriel, The Treasure Trove of Troublesome Trolls, Cookie Nabu, Axel Zapata, Orianda, Bean Dino, Philip Lennoch, Hugh Jass, J2, Brian Montgomery, Artemis Record, Safa Aluzi, Trev Brax, Gunnar Tweedle, The Bard Without a Ballad or Mallet, Nazo, Platform Jail Mechanism, Burn Museum Theorist, Hold Please, Kay Kayao, Empress Squishy Face of Greater Catopia.

Speaker 2 Anna Garcia. Goblin King.
Rays of Nope. Ruby Booth.
Bubberduckle. Yaegor Loose.
Terry Cads. Lafetrax.
The Rise of Lafayette. Chapter 1.
Loaf Trax Rides Again. Tarian Roundtree.
Catalyst for Chaos.

Speaker 2 Sculliver. Matt Lucido.
Sam and Shane. Ahsoka Likes Hugs.
Caitlin Hess. V, Gordon Lightfoot.
Ma Dukes. U.S.
Marshall Stacey. Ooh, Chickadee.

Speaker 2 Terran of the Guild of Free Cartographers, Sweet Chaos 7, Dango Dale, Este, not the website.

Speaker 2 At every moment, in every corner of every possible world, there is always a way home, and it's already found you. Jiao Paolo Limos, G.

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Kevin Winans, Marlon C. You could stop at five or six stores or just one.

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Speaker 2 and Mrs.

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Speaker 2 Valkyrie Storm, Patricia, who's always late but somehow on time, DC Squirrel, Ryan, Honey Cooper, Kyle the Interstellar Highwayman, Shelly Act on the Verge, Gale Friend, Uncle Denzo and Aunt Betty had the opportunity to try Miss Chris's sandwiches and can attest that they are fire.

Speaker 2 Rubber Cake, Clover the Clown, The Sparky Tack, Prop the Crocigator, Dakota L, Jazz Punker, Captain Tight Pants and the Companion, Kentucky Cried Frickin', Renee N, Katarina De La Playa, R.I.P.

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Speaker 2 Phoenix, Glitch the Gamer Error, Zephyr Foxworth, Ted Ted and Teddy, Merryface, Luon Cherry, Peppermint Pearl, the Interdimensional Space and Tea Time Witch, Nicole 6-4, Amara Salazar, Benjo Buscalo, Full Beans, Glorious Forgotten Ford Festiva, Brandon Wright, Night Breakfast at the Midnight Cauldron, Force for Good-ish, Mark Scott, Rosie Mum, The Judah, Slater Morales, Intergalactic Fry Lord, Gravity's Optional, but Fries Aren't Angel Vasquez, Tara, Stephen Raymer, J.

Speaker 2 Carp Fishman, Mistress Roxy Mornet, The Great Goblino, Low Oxygen, Save the Mungos, Nye, Lilac Morcella, Rachel Krempa, with special thanks to my best friend Lizzie and my husband Steve, don't worry about the the order, honey.

Speaker 2 Your Majesty, Temporal Hash Brown, Diane Brown, Captain No Sleep, The Slim Reaper, Reuben Eaton, Smedley Peace Nodgrass III, but please pause two to three seconds and then call me Smeddy.

Speaker 1 I'm leaving it.

Speaker 2 The Shreveport Bohannans, CC the Umbrella Mage, Bradbury Sasquatch loads Chekhov's gun, Din, Cosmic Ketchup, Lack of Lifestyle, August the Schmoggest, and Haas Fest, Ashley Davis, Mousy, Hood's Pocket, Gear and Sprocket, Local Repair Cafe, Postmaster General Kwan Sentme, Mad Maddox, Blake Blake Basmagian, KnitWit14, Royaled WAY Too Harshly, DJ Johnny B, Marco Montano, A Gnat Named Bug, Shiny Fields, Adam Tachek, Christopher Wendell, Nelly Furtaco, Unproductive Banana, Pulsifer the Paulist of Paulism, Zombie Spider-Man, Alandra, Brain Demons is an anagram of Brandon is me, Bex823, Auntie Cryptid, Barry Heap, Gas Mask Penguin, In the Hot Seat, Mime Ninja's Ninja Mime, Barry, Dilly is Dallying, Podcast Junkie Wants Gloria's Tamalee Recipe, Futile screaming at the ocean.

Speaker 2 Fox Hatlin, Dylan Karoni, Pedro Vibresto, Penny Sparkles, Slider, Dimitri, Julian Rhodes, Maple Emery, the gayest library janitor in Indiana, Jennifer Ray Page, Scout Mistress and her phalanx of intergalactic Eagle Scouts.

Speaker 2 TED Talks says to the unpaid feds, Stay strong. Vapus 10's big black gaping hole.
Gubrious, you know, like lugubrious but without the loo.

Speaker 2 Jessica Gaiogama, Cabernet Corsair, Torsicle, Jenny the Bear, Gr. Bellringer, Serdine Thorne, Treach, Josie Jones, Mr.

Speaker 2 Fibble is very cross, Hote Potato, Blind Time Traveler Convention Date, LA Woman, The Phoenix Rising, New Name, God? No, not him. Jeff Andrew? Sure, Jeff Andrew.

Speaker 2 Miss Luan, a British woman with cute dogs, Cup of Doodles, Shmizzy Two Shoes, Luna Nova, Nicholas Griffith, Matt Grigsby, Justin Smallin, Riku31, Craig Dundee, the names Knight, with a K, Astral C, Ickleme, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too, Guy with the Chops, Sam, Mitchell Yee, Bagel Knife, Inmelda and Scott, Courtney Cochran, Lily Starling, Ryan Kay, Nate, Forklift, Lifts Forks for Cliff, Vince N, Brick Brick, Chip, Radio Free Relia, Violin Loves Midi, Brian Pastley, Subawasa, Grena, Piston Whip, Captain Ducky, Blitz Bell, Retro Dagwood.

Speaker 2 Our overhead is way too high with all of these names, and please make sure to turn in all your receipts. Love, Josh from Accounting.
Satsuma, Silious Goose, Dr.

Speaker 2 Jones, Coach Shane of Toad Suck Central, GoCranes, Cole Arthur, Lego Croissant, Cassad, Norwin Murgler.

Speaker 2 The Star Set Messengers want to know if you've written that four-page essay on why you don't think about bugs. Joe Cuppa.
We be chopping broccoli. Icy Fish.
The hacker known as Ivy DeBerb.

Speaker 2 Edwin McDonald. A feisty-ass chickadee.
Poultry landmine. The scrappy poet.
Jenny the Cryptid Paladin. Maverick Artist.
Shit. It was a mimic.
Basil in their tea. Waiting to gossip with David.
Ainsley.

Speaker 2 Yay, yay, yay, yay. Engnor, ATB, Kiwi Lovelybead, Zoe, Professor Freyda, Michelle Spurgeon, Jack the Sleepy, Sleepy, Garrett Henderson Two, still trapped, but I've stopped asking why.
The freezer is.

Speaker 5 I am.

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That's it, just Sarah.

Speaker 2 Ricardo Golamba, Kari's Crafty Cloaking Devices, LLC, Hashtag WeWeave'em of Gossamer, Deeringer, Penny the Wonder Dog, and Bucky von Buckbuck, Kentex Oridian, Medium Rare Extra Toasted Bun, Saucy Caesar, Belt, Aspen is a Verge fanboy, Mick J67, Ava's favorite My Little Pony pencil says, Get your mammogram?

Speaker 2 Is this thing recording?

Speaker 2 Representative of the Alaska Midnight Burger Tummy Time Chapter, Nathaniel Lee Industries, Joel Hughes, Lord Entropy, Bach Bach, Motherfucker, The Fae Wanderer, Everybody's Favorite Clown Splotchy, Pinstrike Algorithm, Kosher Steak, Gabriel Strife, Alicia's Shiny Pants, Gondor Calls for Aid, Muscles for Tits, Alan Berglund says, Hi Mom, Kitty McSkull, Raven Stromdans, Hapless novelist passenger of the dimensionally impermanent and temporarily incontinent bookshop cafe, The Wild-Eyed Prophet, Tessa Craig, Perfectly Personalized Disaster, Richard Schofeld, Jim Turner, Lux Luminos, Javi De Niro, Big Chunk, Goodeeds, Bingo Sticky Rice, Boom Boom's Wooden Leg, Will the Real Muadib Please Stand Up, Kitty Cat and Lollipup Can't Get Enough of This, U Don 96, Benjamin, Not Franklin, Tracy Baby, Leia, Is that the Chris Hancock who traded weekly soup for the use of my kitchen table?

Speaker 2 A singular nightbird, I am the lizard frantically firing flachette guns, Bumblefey, Mr.

Speaker 2 Epsilon, The Mothman, Long-Haired Matt, DJ, Lenny Harris, Robert W., Breelzebub, Cresamira, Jessila Rin, Mayday Hoops, The Bead Wizard, Myth and Stitch Embroidery Loves the Mucklewains, Lulu Louise, Dulio, The Brew Crew Family, Burt Ruba, your most benevolent lord and master of the multiverse, Jeffrey George, Exquisite Whimsy, Ellie, Don't Tariff Me, Bro, Oopsie, Evelyn, The Wizard Mooses, holds out their cat for you to pet, Gremlore, Existential Pancakes, Gianniwaboom, Aaron Popsicle Stick, M.

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Speaker 2 Mr. Muchacho Kaiserschnitzel is bringing an anchovy pizza to Lars on Omega Station.
The Wolves in the Deep Freeze say, Ah Woo!

Speaker 2 Julie Hammond, Sanctuary Moon's number two fans, Simpson, Jason, Alice Lewis, Simply Amy Sue, Even Older Liz, Mick Bearcat, Grack Pinfeather, Siddecon Druidic Scientist, Astro, your friendly neighborhood android, Moonlight Zombie Fox, Old Doc Racy, the Midnight Missionary, out there somewhere looking for you.

Speaker 2 Rotten Ronnie sleeps in Grandma Panties. JS, Eldritch Ender, Squunky, Artist Dragonborn, Bigby Garage, Bill Zangana Lester, Joaquin Jimenez.
Hello, Big List. I'm Dad.
Now let Joe get some rest.

Speaker 2 It's time for bed. Muffins, Space Wives, Captain Jack Harkness wants Peter the Robot.
Oreo? Oreo. No, wait, pineapple.
Actually, never mind. Oreo.
Tell your cat, cat, I said.

Speaker 2 Banana Monadz, a corgi called Kibble, Cuddy Kraken, Life's a Lode Studio, and his wife Meganator.

Speaker 2 The game, Axel Light, Sarge the Bard, Seminity, Riel Fan, LL Cool Mint Jams, Travis Roberticus, The Other Original Caitlin, Kin Daddy, Celestiani, Hazel the Jaded Umbra, pulls out a marker and approaches Sign My Shovel to sign Sign My Shovel Shovel.

Speaker 2 Leah Aizati, Millie Was Taken, Hunnis, Ben Camp, Shan Man Man Man, Karma Karma Chameleon, Waba Jack, Zoe and Her Army of Mice, Breer Longshot, Daniel, Sammy the Baby Seal, I Have Always Relied on the Kindness of Diners, Dr.

Speaker 2 Bootiologist the Glutes Doctor, The Hoods Pocket Pants Darts League reminds all players that clean underwear is required. Tobias Ewing, thank you for pressing too.

Speaker 2 Your Anglophone Emotional Support Canadian request will be processed in the order in which it was received. Queen Surly Jess, R.I.P.
Lance McClain, You Would Have Have Loved Midnight Burger.

Speaker 2 Adam Tokelove, Dr.

Speaker 2 Bitchcraft, Sassy Cat the Space Vixen, Claire Rock, Jeka, Eros to God, the size 2 fish you've been Looking For, Iokai, Borgia, Natasha Without Boris, Spiders Are Cuddly, Lafayette Lasagna Lovers 1, The Bano Immortal Thinks It Should Be Candadios, Cheel Neal, Sin City Scuba Steve, Pollywog, Jinx the Cat would like to offer you biscuits, Michaela White, Elena Pickle, Professor Thaddeus Snookums the 8th, Mr.

Speaker 2 Grin, Glenn Petrofsky, This Moment of Silence so Joe can catch his breath is brought to you by Rick Tyler, Elizabeth Hammond, CheapCon, yeah you heard me, the real cheapcon, except no imitations, Funch Brunklin, Steam Vision, Conductor of the Interdimensional Time Spanning Hype Train.

Speaker 2 Dave Harold, Wise Cube, Dirty Diaper Fussbutt, and the Piggy Brunt. Bromine, pronounced Bro, Mine.
Main Humdinga, Mother of Pearl. Fiona now owns Lafe's 18-inch Peter.

Speaker 2 Sealface, Rigor Mortis, Megan's Things, Things Megan Makes, Shiny Fields, Magical Maggie, Trebek's Reject, Prophet of the God of the Mucklewains, Matthew with Two T's, The First T is Silent.

Speaker 2 Igneous Burp, Darth Ox. This brief pause is brought to you by Michelle Kay's wish for Joe to catch his breath.
Aaron Arnold, Mamma Mander, B. Roz, and Sluntmaster J.
Alpaca Lips.

Speaker 2 It's not delivery, it's diarrhea.

Speaker 2 Elliot Paints, Undead Akira, Broom Goddess, The Lord Reverend, Porgatos Pex, Unselling Wizard, Ryan, Thomas's 10 Tenebrous Tan Staffled Tippers, Trettering Treacherously Tantamount to Telling Totalitarian Trope Termination Tales.

Speaker 2 Ladies, for your pleasure, Chuck Naked, The Lovely Lara Lovely, Kith Gamji, Sam Wise's Flamin' Cousin, Dariel, Jeremy the Ruler, Gochi, Hair Hawks, Jacob Mitchell, Swooning for Verge, Zeke in the Box, Stevie Crowhill, How to to Get Jack from John, Flesh Witch, Writing a Flesh Mech Through the Multiverse, Scrubs, Just Some Guy from Adelaide named Ryan, Remy, the Panda Crew, Melody Prime, Beardo the Wizard, Captain Benjamin Hawkeye Pierce, the German short-hair pointer from Nashville, wants you to tell his mom, Mandy, that he says woof, whiskered, Marissa the Ghost, local snowplows in your area are dying to meet you, Rutherford B.

Speaker 2 Chesterfield and his dapper companion Winchester, Cheshire Corgi, Stray Cat, Ole Kelsey No Shoes, Zoldia, Dizzy Flame, Time Flies Like an Arrow, Fruit Flies Like a Banana, Banana, Sasha, Beth and Alan Van Gillis, Langston North, Sly Fox, aka Brayer Rabbit, Pants Darts Champion, The Constantly Lost Geographer, Timothy Aotis, Chance wants you to know, he cares.

Speaker 2 Wolfstark, Adrian Vance, Elliott, Hobbes DeCoe, Natalie Bartlett, Rory of Yin, Movie the Golden Calf, Giovanni Salinas, Rocky G, Perry the Pirate, Aaron Elizabeth, K Narcotics, Solomon Price, A Daydream You Won't Escape, Angela Sanchez, Ava M, Bubba 485, aka Schimmelbach the Christmas Whale, Kaiju Summelier, Stella Corvus, Jesus Garcia, JP the IT Guy, Candyman Fight, Sandwich, John Peters, you know, the farmer, Barkley on the Holodeck, Dapper Dad, SCP-049, O Magis, Raven the Dreamer, TK Turtle King, Mike M, Space-Based Lasers, Captain B and Lady G with their swabs, Marla Madam Lotus still especially loves Finley, Lady Folly, Canadian Waitress, Mr.

Speaker 2 Steamwave, My friend Rhino says, be nice. Hoop challenge.

Speaker 2 Dream Founder, Amya Hokleberry, Elizabeth T, Taitai the Wonder Hamster and her dear darling Duke, Gus, Boombastical Kimlicker, Coco Yumi is painting ponies, Huggamuffin, Bigfoot of Doom, D.L., Annie Atkins, Crandyman the Pug Whisperer, Garrow, Nick Gomez, Our Cat Said to Tell You, Meow, Bag of Oats, Benjamin Or Tees, Happy Early Birthday, Alyssa, Pop Rock Quicksand, The Benny Yapper now begins her master plan, Muhahahahahahaha.

Speaker 2 Abinasso, Trina Ward, Adalore, Trans Space Dinosaur, Spooky Spader Storytime, William Kent, Andy, The McJimmies from Your Local Dimension, Xavier Killingsworth, Reformed Colonel Reb, Mimetic Hygienist, Rogue Art, Aaron Starr, Joshua Damien, and Sentinel of the Star System, Claude DeClaus, Spunky Dan, Rachel Seymour, Chis Alfredge the Bullheaded Professor, Ed Boy, Ryan Fideli, Jonathan Kay,

Speaker 2 Another Monster, Petabyte Avatar, Tugwin the Mighty, Project Octopus, Kin, Chibs1012, Scotty Oates, Byrotron 95, Dan's granted clemency by his overlord parents, Dance Break,

Speaker 2 Speaku, the Bracken system and its home world Ren, Simply Tony, Gabriel Castellan, whom, what, when, where, and why is what all the thegronis say while listening to Midnight Burger.

Speaker 2 Nico DeGaio goes great on Midnight Burgers. A drum major and a trapeze artist walk into Connie's bar.
Sir Party Animal, Uloy Jackal. Are we sure you might rob the Nancy Sinatra?

Speaker 2 Court need to leave it alone if you want to live.

Speaker 2 Must be a witch, Cat with a K, Miss Shan Frizzle, Mythogarone has a first name, Stompinstein El Mustachio, Lucifer Hezekiah, Lachawawa Brava, Adeline Pete, Cece Carousel, Korth the Destroyer, Honest Puck, Casper's Mom's a Milf, Scout and Foxglove says the floor is lava, Kurdomsky, Craig Armstrong, Plastic Fork, Dulcet DeLeche, Get Out of My Booth, Bug, Propagator, I Hardly Know Her, Sad Angry Crab Man, Chuck McFinley, Effie and Zebulon's trans great-granddaughter Hazel Hayes, Velocity Girl 42, Little Dragon at a Cauldron of Bats, Ben Carlisle, Flat Steve's Love for Grand Theft, Anna Kearney, Crashly Strange Lilia, The Four Schnauzers of the Apocalypse, Septi and Asha, Not Sasha, have the hots for the Mucklewains and would gladly be their unicorns.

Speaker 2 Starblaze Burnbright, Imzukioki, Spotted Rhino, and her hand-me-down frogs, Red Mafia Panda, Lonely Isle, Kai Dallow Headphones, Hinkle, Pikeman Stover, Fondella Stover, Pikeman Stover's wife, Scrizzles, Fwap, Giddy, Giddy, Giddy, The Firekeeper, The End is Nigh!

Speaker 2 Jeremiah Canceled, Librarian Alex, Spike and Faye, Johnny Ellen West, and the boys from the dwarf, Speedy McSpeedy, Wolf, Brandy Gunter, Auntie Becky is owned by five rescue cats, Fermi's Paradoxans, Speckled Unicorn, Jedi Rides Again with Nova the Space Pirate, Tevin Longblade's Short Sword, Impatiently Waiting for the TARDIS, Forget Normal, A Diamond, CJ Johnson, A Dragon Sitting on Its Horde of Dice, Wendell Whitaker, Fikachu, Smythey, Globed Roulette, Andrew Fuller, Danon Deb, Ben Mi Hong, The Soup Witch, Bender FTW, Fetuschini Alfredo, Amalgamous Pax, Pebbles, V.

Speaker 2 V., Effie Rawlings, Megan Hazen, Philip Your Dad is Not Your Dad, Nick Bobro, Midnight Plumber, His Royal Highness Mr.

Speaker 2 Hamilton Underfoot Kitty I and Accomplice, Princess Penelope the Marchioness of Mischief and Maven of Mystery, Megan Gentry, Mr.

Speaker 2 Cherry, Our Ass is in the Jackpot, Tubby Teddy, Wayne Heiser, India Inkblot, Slev of Mahomet, Omi Gracie, Dalton Jenkins, Kat Holtz, The True Mega Mike, Fred and George, The What Weekly Media Database, Ava Maddox Jr., Liza Wirth, Cass Williams, Christy, Yeet My Boy, 46 Toolshed 2, and L.

Speaker 2 Marie Catastrophe, The Image Collector, Blended Music, Definitely Not Kevin, Sitting Squirrel, Patricia E.

Speaker 2 Melt Missed Everyone, A Round of Yards on the House, Red the Gray, The Silver Crow, Couch Potato Alex, Neverchild, Dr.

Speaker 2 Nassos, Interdimensional Biologist, Kaboko Du Nord, Lil Kev, Kozamine, Theodrax, Joey B., Lucas Barding, DJK, DJK. Taryn says, hey, Oreos are rabbits.

Speaker 2 Sandalwood Mountain is an odd way to refer to Hawaii, but it worked for Henry. Whimsical Fuckery.
Megan with an H. Hey, it's Warranty Lady.

Speaker 2 Look, I've been thinking, maybe it's best if we, you know, saw other people for a bit. I need more.
Patricia the Time Lord. Is it though? Mango connoisseur, gritty bug, and the quirky jester.

Speaker 2 The big moose thanks Laif for the drying rack. I'm old enough now to be that old glory coal.
Janelle Miaonet's Cat Butler. O'Shin Liu, Alex Berry, Andrew Oakden, Asymmetrical Exile.

Speaker 2 Magpie Cat says everything's a bag of holding if you know how to pack. Churro Cat the Sun God.
Eliza Travels the Universe. Alex Spence.
Dr. D.
Birdclaw Spweather and Mrs.

Speaker 2 Dubop Deway Birdclaw Spweather want to say hello to the whole Spweather family.

Speaker 2 Galaxy Britches, Angry Ron, Dominus Caesar, Durka Dub, Gloria's ex-girlfriend, Kelly Clickspring, the wild thistle, most likely Cass. The sweet planetary aroma of Fiona's grilled cheese sandwiches.

Speaker 2 Jasmine James, Dr.

Speaker 2 Caborant, also known as Omni, thanks, Waffle Chateau, Colorado Beekeeper, Fruitcake, Anatha, Zandria, Jennifer Calkins, Guacamolio, Midnay Burger, Dawn Parks, Throat Goat666, Princess Leia, Prime Freak, Protector of the Scottish Realm, Little Lord Stevie Pie, Droid Pirate Findlay and his Rubinesque Parrot, Droid Pirate Findlay and His Rubinesque Parrot, Stuck in a Pit of Skittles, Sea Squatch, Deflator Mouse, Tony Piakarsky, Adrian R., The Devil from Table 12, Javier, Kimberder, Crazy Thadley, The Harbinger Pulsar, Cremulous was just happy to be here, The Twisted Twixter, The Rural Juror is a massive fan, Faye Queen, Oopsnart, the probability demolition expert, Showtime, C.R.

Speaker 2 Iptid, For My Mother, Homer, Are We Doing Crimes? CCTX Girl6823 Waiting on the Diner, Nicole Studioso.

Speaker 52 Welcome to the Idol of Remembrance for Sign My Shovel.

Speaker 2 Truckstop Sandwich, Indigo Woah Woah, Eskar Go WoWo, Love My Captain, Joe Mauma, Castriff, Ames Affection for Internet Protection, Retro MG, Night Script, The Gainesville Fear Garden, Come, Mr.

Speaker 2 Tally Man, Tally Milana Bananas, Utred and Rose's Viking Void Vitals, Fueling the Intergalactic Fight Against Fascism, Not Sure What I'm Doing, Leia Rose, River Brown, Senior Deuce, Warped Writer, Tim Nacy, Ruben Klamso, Terwin, Hugh the Mini Mungo, Morgan Brockman, Sylvie, Friendly Neighborhood Fire Protection Engineer, Skull Bulb, Dustin Watson, Betty White813, Randy Supreme and Quinn Lancaster, The One True Cheap Con, Starscribe, Lucian Thunderstruck.

Speaker 2 Ho ho, Mamama. Doozer sees your all Anus Morissette and wants to raise you a Florida State Seminal Vesicles.

Speaker 2 The other Adele, Chef Gal Val, Leah Hall, Sarah May, Cone of Silence Consultants, LLC, Needs Fresh Tiles and Room 3 at the Horizon, Silly Willie Bubblebutt, Sierra Not from Arkansas, Zico, Ebenezer Boob, Caleb Tumiala, Jason Woods, Arnie Arbuckle Esquire, Digital Floof Lost in Time, Potion Meist, Regulators, Mount Up, Kringle Over Coffee, Mad yogi Eileen, a cat named M.

Speaker 2 Patito Pato, Palace, Ethan Cobb, Big Moe, I am Annie. I live forever in every moment I've existed.
I swear to every star in the cosmos, I never forgot it was a gift.

Speaker 2 The Stone Fox, Trisha Schaefer, Solivia, Jusiton, Pepitos, Cthumhauer, Jennifer Baumer, Ninja Grim Reaper, Miles Nelson, prove to me that orange cats aren't gods.

Speaker 2 Burr Ritwards, Hotshot Huntley, Momo's Mama, Space Mormon says what?

Speaker 2 Ivy Paisley, Toast, Sue Watts, Myrtle, Caitlin, Leader of the Unicorn Revolution, Transdimensional Delivery Man, Matlock, Lord of the 13th Sea, Mr.

Speaker 2 Triggvy, Printing with Cats, Khaleesi Del Mar, Dixie Dinah, River Waters, Coppercoin the Dumpster Wizard, 7,000 Possums, Sarah Jack Sparrow, Space Pony, Revibe, Debbie E, Emma, Mr. and Mrs.

Speaker 2 Owo, Dusty Ventures and his pilot Uzi drifting through space, Ronnie Porter, Gloria's Line Cook, Eagle Rock Lobster, The Gabby's Painter and her bird of fire, Wandering Wenjo, Painted Oni, Q Dell, Pharrell, Emily with Two E's, Spaceman Nathan, Ramsey's Niblick III, Kerplunk, Kerplunk, Whoops, Where's My Thribble, Mad Goat, Jackie Wavelet, Yeoi Gagarin, Issa the Straga, D.

Speaker 2 Greitzler, A Gremlin with the Munchies, Michelle Scarakio, Genuine Jacob, Andy's Brain is Weird, Space Rooster Randy, Leopard Donut, Poofy Thang, Mellow Nuggets, Keychain Crap, Matt Matt Sharkman, Stee Lowe, Arcadia, Bumbling Lily Bee, Buffy's Daughter, A quick pause so Joe can sip from his tiny teacup.

Speaker 2 Fuck, I'm out.

Speaker 2 Buffard D's Nuts, Panda, Curtis Lellick, Kennedy Allison Farner, Tristan Stoles, Dalen Y, Shadow Rapture, Yet Another Nicole, Hank the Wonder Llama, R-Craft, Russell, Zephyrus Wind, The Ornamental Hermit, Just a Regular Fox, Jeremy Impson, What the Hell?

Speaker 2 Cineplex, and all the black people in North Carolina.

Speaker 2 Just Rachel, Danger Girl, Atlas Bear, Patty the Ginger, Ava Cigarette Ash, Boisenberry, aka the Boys, A, Zeus, Anaphylaxis, Scav with Comtax, The Shapeshifting Sad Girl, and her girlfriend say, Joe, you've done it again.

Speaker 2 Sarah Nicole, Cat, Aalina, Angry Leaf's Lasersaw, Magnus Aerochill, Amy Perry, Christopher Kai, Source Decay, The Space Cowby, Skexis, Randy Zamigo, Gremlock, Katie Mermaid, and the Delinquent Duo, Nauman, Nicole, Victor Schauberger, Reincarnated as White Mountain Hillbilly Glitter Cupcake, Max Danger, Security Chief Shatzi, The Anxious Peach, Team Michelle and Billy, Nayanix Reno, Frankenator, Nordalbash, Jordan, Arwen X Belasco, Ryan Rosinski, Average Height, Medium Rage, Audio Monkey, Joe, Team Hafeweisen, Monica and Mason K, Rowan, Lady of the Black, and Herald of the Stars, Arianne Can't Manage Normal, Ryan Burnett, the Joyful Nihilist, Dr.

Speaker 2 Dr. B, Zoprez and the Bumble Army, growing into my farm boots.
Super Beth becomes an RN alongside my bootstop friend. Geneva Boss, Brothers of the Cosine, Uncivil Gnomes, The Rat Queen Evelyn.

Speaker 2 Great lunch conversation. The other Scott, Letty Lou.

Speaker 7 He was a shifty one, that Nick Howard.

Speaker 2 Kinger was here. Bobby Ray Winland Jr.
Be Bob B-Dabba Doowop. Warped Echoes.
Slabs McTurps. Robert O'Tartis.
He's bigger on the inside. Jeremiah Franco.
Justin, the nick of time. Gothic Rainbow.

Speaker 2 So we made it.

Speaker 2 Cody McClure, McHadley, Like McDonald's, Eternal Companion, Maxine Lizote, Jingalos, Hasmatilda, Ditzy Bay, Just Your Average Reese, Kyle Church, I Am a Lafe on the Wind, Static Ego, Some Fucking Swamp Wizard, Lolly, Evan M.

Speaker 2 Dobson, Dave B., Sean C., How Did I Get Here? Oh God, is that the soup? Going to be lit.

Speaker 2 I am Shaggy, Captain Emerald L, Wayne Hall, Danny Mars, Externally Screaming, Skebo and Fuzzle McBumpernits, Neelix Tiny Wolf, Asher the Raven, Christina Senatis Teleporting, BRB,

Speaker 2 Where the Shane's at? Definitely not an android. Seriously, I'm not.

Speaker 2 The Wandering Welshman, whatever Tabby, Carolyn Harper, Nikolai Tolkachev, Capo the Sartorius, Z3DT, Shy Sparrows, BLTN, The Kiwi Duckling, Dana Dana, Bobana, Fifi Fofana, Dad and Aubrey, the Dirt Bike Demons, Tequila Mockingbird, Snuffle Up Agoose, Damerin the Space Goblin, Iso Pale, Oh No, A B, I am Lord Zoltan, Hear Me Roar, Pocket Ghost Max, Mags the Conqueror, Wes and Heather wonder if Derek Adair will join.

Speaker 2 My cat's name is Beef. Eric, Katie Kate, Kitcha Kolonoscopy, Victor Cassados, Emily Shmemly, Work for Melvis, Bohogo Bye-bye for Jojo Pogo, that's a no-go, bro.

Speaker 2 Cody Monster, Collided Mind, Miss Nixie, Baby Bate and Lee, Charlie Rudle, Kyle Perino, A.K., Sid the Sloth on a Bike, Priya Gandhi, The Wandering Mermaid would like you to know that the Little Mermaid and the Creature from the Black Lagoon are the same exact story.

Speaker 2 Lil' Stevie Pie, 2 Polar Cat, aka Laif that one time is waiting for a spaceship to take them to space.

Speaker 2 Carl, the teller of dad jokes, Skylab's multi-dimensional, multiphasic, intergalactic quantum cyberverse, Verde Sol, Galen Miller, Tess, Geriatric Youngin, Mystic Hippie, Unforkable, Daniel Nitz, Mavis Bacons, Pyro's Calling, Joe Suasian, The Wizard's Supercala Fragilistic Expialidocius, Too Many Jans!

Speaker 2 Catjot, Pamela Rose El Tierra, Then Steena says, Thud Tweed, Enigmatic Catbird, Countess of Carbon, Slappy the Squirrel's Ted Slapping Rampage, Luminous Elk, Rodian Caution, Love is for the Nyerds, Taz Hernandez, Captain Crash and the Surviving Crew.

Speaker 2 Casper needs all the hugs, but Joe needs an O2 tank.

Speaker 2 Joe is the writer's room, Awkward Heretic, Devin7777, Troy Aker, Mandy Kane, Northerly K, Kim Cell, Silly Goose Honk Honk, Admatha, Astro Unit, Ghost Saber Wolf, The Sleepy Mystic, Sarah Joy, Taters, Precious, It's Just Steve, Sweets Martinez, Shar Noble 610, Mere Tender Creatures, Amanda Short, Chut Brimble, Deidre, Mike Whiskey and Your Friend Frosty, No Saguaro, Ben Barr, Stand Clear of the Closing Doors, Please, Beastly Death, Sven the Unlikely, Cognito Hazard Expunged, Ted Wasanasen, Virestria, Theosis the Theologianish, Nicole, I love you, but I will name Kid 2 Brathar, Fernwood Gal, Nelly G, Twinkle Tots, Gemini Sky, Phantom's Moms, Callison, Horn Swagglin, Daniel Arthur, Mike Laclusi, it's a, it's a fucking dog rapture, Abigail Lahou, King Humble, We'd Better Ask Dave, Wind Chimes for Safety, Cameron Winterborne Welsh, Fireball XL5, Mackenzie Duna, Alexika Habaniera, Code Stranger, One Betty

Speaker 19 Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Speaker 2 Matt N, Monad Nick, Frelp, M.

Speaker 2 Lin, Feed Mafish, JRR on SFP, Lahari, Ted's Loves Catherine, JSpark, Lucid Harbor, Little Mira Leopard Paws, Diet Knight, Mars Royalty, Take 20 Damage, Maisie's Bandstand, Kim Bob, Battle Pope and Bugaboo, Snorts Magorts, Fresh Squeezed, Patrick Holt, Atlas B.

Speaker 19 Hold it now, hold it now, hold it now, hold it now.

Speaker 16 Hit it!

Speaker 2 Had it, hit it, hot it, hood it.

Speaker 2 Bradley Ashby, Peter, Megan Okeo, William Dyer, Vicki Abear, Brad Munier, Jane, Hannah Dale, Phantom Zone, Crystal Delightful, Gruntled, Killshot Betty and her steel-eyed bow, Turtles All the Way Down, Jackie Lowy, The Little Pigeon, Quentin Elizabeth Jones, Crazed Bear, Just a Giant Pile of Leaves, Psych!

Speaker 2 Dr. Lattice Trash Angel leaping on your back, Crafty Lizard quilts, and knits and crochets, Noble Barrel.
Yes, my brain is weird. Thank you.

Speaker 2 Megan the Meg Young, Corey Morose, Russell Bunny, Max Savage, Jenny Wren, Apprehensive Craig, Tim Aranetta, Bacon, Nicole Studioso, Rambo, Chaos Chaosquatcher, that homeless guy who saw the diner disappear from Rogers and gave up booze, Lord Than and Lady Sarah, Mary Kirby, Stephanie Sturgis, Kirsten, Curry Up and Wait, Sarah Farmer and Belladonna, First of Her Name, Criddle, Twilio, Heidelberdy, Tom Webster, Rashmi Vinkatesh, McClump, Azana the Leathersmith, Salazar the Dome Age, The Bard with the Tuba, Hayward's Finest, Garen Elizondo, To My Little.

Speaker 2 You'll always be my good girl. You took a piece of my heart and left a pawprint on my soul.
Till we meet again. Sir Shitzalot strikes again, damn Animal.

Speaker 2 Ashton James, Elspeth, Skyland, ALR, Sidewalk Jam, Tonka 2005, Cruisin' B.

Speaker 2 Anthony, Trick Once Treats, Tybalt I, Stephen Schmidt, Xavier Romo, Alley Frog, Trey the Turquoise Tortoise, Freya Titmittens, Courtney the Frogologist, Courtney and Stephanie Say, Hello, The Fontucky Wrangler, Scrambrule, Yay, Aaron, The Singing Loon, Zusana, Celeste Yos, I'm So Antigone Fun, Katie and Noah, Hendrix the Stink, The Ambergler, Boodles, Osvaldo Simeoni, Siobhan DeLila Rose, Ashley Chapel Peoples, Ryan Ortega, Barbarian Bloodbath, The Defenestration of Teds, Corrine Sabrantha, Shadow Daddy, Rubius Fuzzlebutt, K-Mack, The Something Something Detective Agency, Hayabuddha, Eli the Electrician, Sonny the Anomaly, Charmay, K-On with Karma, Amanda Knock, The Wondrous Methazophon, Post-Turtle Evaluation Squad, Hashtag Nissan Acura, Finnegan Robert, Jesse Foster, Samira, Flat Doug, Deary Darling, Ambient Drifting Man 80, Chris Hancock, Nicole 23, Gracefully Impaired, Tired Pirate Muffin, Steve King, Laura, Roman Ronin, John Pruitt, Camel Pope, Inschuligan, Cryptesia, Rebecca Trossel, Chris from Tacoma, Mitzi Liu, Kelsey Home, Amanda Marie Catherine, Damien the Goddamn Time Lawyer, Matt Mosby, Saint Fu, Harry Fishnuts, Joshua Cody, Astronoweab, Magnos the Civil Gnome, Heidelon Misses the Warranty Ladies' Calls, It's Not the Same Without Her.

Speaker 2 Starlight, David Piorini, Techno Ranger Rick, Joe's Weaselaff, Virgo Aries Infinity, Best Buds, Danny and M, Charles Q.

Speaker 2 Choi, A Bug Named Nat, Cece Ryder, Hunter B, Rudra, Death the Kid, Big Whiskey, Ul Cockinator, Ron Was Here, Magic Pony, Robert Oliveri, Dan Bowman, Jess Gioya, Pole Johnson, Killer Odd, Dr.

Speaker 2 Punt Gusher Esquire wants you to go to your local library, Creator67, Bajolanth, Laife's One True Love, Mermaid of the Dark Seas, Cosmic Shrug, Incorrigible Ross, Deborah Wales, SCRB Mark11, Maggie's Yarm, Stew, Inth Anomaly, Meghan Mighty, Haunt, Purple Saline, Three Legs Are Perfectly Good, Drew and LA, Anomalous Death to PSL, Vandal, The Ice Queen, Captain Blepp, Ryan, Eevee Power, Your Favorite Kenny, Terry, PJ Says What?

Speaker 2 Danielle Amelia Lucero, Honk Honk, Fear Now Doesn't Polish the Shiny Melon, Largo, Blargo, Blargo, The Jazz Man, Tonight at 11.

Speaker 2 Lorak the Barbarianess, Zealous Pragma, Tuba Rick, It's Just Blake. Alice Malis asks, how many chains could two chains chain if two chains could chain chains?

Speaker 2 Kelly Jane Danky, Aaron the Optimist, Thomas Stolen, aka Casper from Another Another Universe, Chadney Ashra, Lucrezia, Thornis, Tamara Oliver, The Real Dirt Fairy, Marissa, Ava, no not that, Ava, the one within

Speaker 2 Grimm says, Trans rights, y'all, Zackie Nat, Underwater Corvid, Spizzeringtum, Shakes and Bakes, Michael Christian, Ransom, Rune My Salil, Grawlux and Terobang, Late Indeed Again, Theron Pyralis, Om Vega, Aaron Mitchell, Lady Keonu Meisen, Onyx Rose, Jackie Wavelet, J.R.

Speaker 2 the Hiker Bear, Velocicate, Al Cave, Krusty McBeardface, Maloran, Sweet Michelle, Kara, Comey Zen, Colibri, Mel Momberg, Rogue, Lisa Geisler, Kwong Puye, Hedgehog, Prédu, Prédu Bogal, What the Chuck, Sono No Suno, Ban and Jessica, Jen Extraneous, Todd Van Voris, Inky the Kraken, Azula the Brave, and their ever-faithful squire Grabthar, Nea DeRusso, Peachy Zatowichi, Trinket Coralie, Dancing Dog Dreams, and existentially, Exhausted Bean.

Speaker 2 Hurries off.

Speaker 5 Sorry.

Speaker 2 Off to an amazing start.

Speaker 32 Excellent. That was great.

Speaker 29 That was great.

Speaker 11 Thank you.

Speaker 51 Sorry, can I ask for

Speaker 51 Annalise to do that Chancellor's Commissioners and Ambassadors line one more time with a little more Evita in it?

Speaker 2 Okay, so we need about, what do you think, honey? 20% more Avita? Is that a good Evida line?

Speaker 51 23% more Evida.

Speaker 2 Please, 23% more Avita, please.

Speaker 38 Just find that dial.

Speaker 51 Specifically, what I would like is Patty Lapone's trying to arm loop

Speaker 51 through jonathan price and missing that's what i want

Speaker 5 i got you yeah no it has

Speaker 38 family actors even i'm like locked in of like i know those i know those actors that's a good direct context oh yeah locked in that's fine yes yeah

Speaker 10 okay glad everyone else is there yeah well i have something someone started their car and i can i don't know if you guys can hear it uh no we can't hear it but okay is it is it uh you think it's just gonna sit idle there or is is it gonna drive away at some point well i think they're letting it warm up so is it a hyundai sonata somebody go check

Speaker 5 that's a callback joke callbacks i'll go check you motherfucker

Speaker 2 Everybody's gonna hate it and it's gonna be great. That's everybody.
That's that's the real utopia, you know, because utopia so much is just like,

Speaker 2 but there's a dark secret.

Speaker 46 You know what I'm saying? Like, that's always the utopia thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 This is like, what if there's not a dark? What if the dark secret is it's just a fucking hassle?

Speaker 5 It's to just keep it organized.

Speaker 22 Yeah.

Speaker 45 Like, you like,

Speaker 45 we have everything you could possibly need. You will be fed, you will be clothed, you will be housed, but you have to fill out this form.

Speaker 2 Please stand in that line, fill out that form. Yes, you have to fill out the form

Speaker 19 for utopia, guys.

Speaker 51 Can Ixio

Speaker 51 be a little more turned on by bro?

Speaker 40 Thank you for hearing it, too.

Speaker 17 Apologies, punt.

Speaker 42 But I mean, like,

Speaker 42 I think she's really into it. Okay.

Speaker 22 Okay. You know what I mean?

Speaker 34 And I'm like, I think I'm getting too deep in the weeds.

Speaker 2 Well, I mean, that's the thinking of like a three-dimensional person, right?

Speaker 2 So you got to think about it like you're, like, you're, like, you got to add a couple of dimensions to your planar existence.

Speaker 5 I'm not a scientist.

Speaker 2 And then it all makes sense, maybe.

Speaker 2 At the beginning of this age of turmoil,

Speaker 2 it was Claudia's Guerrera war against the Terrim

Speaker 2 that awakened the spirit of rebellion in the triad.

Speaker 12 No, no. Oh my god.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 2 That sounds fucking amazing, frankly, these days.

Speaker 45 Okay, these days, yes.

Speaker 5 Boring-ass utopia, sign me the fuck up.

Speaker 2 I'll wear a beige.

Speaker 45 If I stop doom scrolling,

Speaker 2 I got a real soft spot in my heart.

Speaker 5 Bufar, forever.

Speaker 15 Core went out.

Speaker 35 Actually, that's too weird.

Speaker 34 Call me Chancellor.

Speaker 5 Take that again.

Speaker 15 I thought it was perfect.

Speaker 41 Hello, Borsch.

Speaker 2 Wait, now I got screwed up.

Speaker 15 I got screwed up.

Speaker 31 As well as our new high counselor.

Speaker 2 Chancellor.

Speaker 49 Damn it.

Speaker 5 As well as our news.

Speaker 2 We're all up to speed. The show is called Midnight Burger.

Speaker 46 And

Speaker 1 Midnight Diner.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Oh, I'm on the wrong call. Oh, I thought it was Space Burger.
Sorry, guys.

Speaker 5 It's fine.

Speaker 2 It's a happy scene. It's a happy scene.

Speaker 45 But it's still emotional damage. It's just like happy, emotional damage.

Speaker 2 Emotional damage.

Speaker 34 The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish.