Welcome to the Horizon 2.2: The People in your Neighborhood

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Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 Of course, you're calling me. Hey.

Speaker 1 Someone's here, right? Who's here? His name's Laif.

Speaker 1 He just showed up all of a sudden. He was unconscious in the parking lot.
We brought him inside. Then Then Elden tells me to go get Verge.
Right.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay, wait, what? What? Is this bad? No, no, no.

Speaker 1 I don't. I don't think so.
It's just.

Speaker 1 Big.

Speaker 1 Big. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Cool. What kind of big are we talking about here, Trinket? Like, like, arm war, big, parade float?

Speaker 1 Big, like, yeah, well, we're f we're fine. We're just just come see me in the morning, okay? I just

Speaker 1 need to listen for a while.

Speaker 1 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 1 Hmm.

Speaker 1 What are you telling me?

Speaker 1 Oh, uh, hey, Trinket. Hey, Doug.

Speaker 1 Party's still going, huh?

Speaker 1 Yeah, they, they love it here.

Speaker 1 I guess the plan worked. Oh, yeah, I guess so.
Oh, I hope we can keep up the facade.

Speaker 1 We'll be all right for now.

Speaker 3 You know,

Speaker 3 I can't believe I'm looking at a bunch of aliens right now.

Speaker 3 I know. I mean, I thought it was weird when it was medieval Bavarians, but you know, this is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, they're just people.

Speaker 1 Uh, do you still keep your bike in the back?

Speaker 3 My

Speaker 3 bike?

Speaker 1 For errands? Mind if I borrow it tomorrow? No. Oh, no, no.
Go ahead. What is...
What's wrong with yours? Nothing.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Yeah, uh-uh, okay. Hey, Elden.
Hello, Trinket. How's it going over there? It's confounding.
Everything's going to be fine.

Speaker 1 Thank you for those comforting words, Drinket. Let me know if you guys need anything.
Of course. What's going on? There's somebody new in town.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 that...

Speaker 1 That sounds ominous. No, no.
I...

Speaker 1 I. I think it'll be interesting.

Speaker 1 Can you please leave your bike in the morning? I'll have Frank pick it up. Yeah, sure.
Thanks.

Speaker 1 Hey, Doug.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You

Speaker 1 can come talk to me anytime, okay? Oh, yeah, I know.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 about your new

Speaker 1 garden.

Speaker 1 You can talk to me anytime. Um,

Speaker 1 okay, whenever you're ready. Yeah, um,

Speaker 1 okay. Okay, uh thank you

Speaker 1 Hey space friend

Speaker 1 Hey

Speaker 1 How's it going in there? Oh, it's very frustrating. Uh-oh, how so?

Speaker 1 Well

Speaker 1 He finally stopped peeking his guts out and I was starting to get a sense of what the fuck was happening, but then

Speaker 1 Then I told him where he was and he started to freak out Why? Well, this isn't a safe place for anybody, but for him it's much worse around here. He's wanted by the bad guys and the worst guys.

Speaker 1 I told him we were on Rax Prime.

Speaker 1 Then he starts having a full-blown anxiety attack. I don't even know what they're talking about anymore.
How the hell did he get here? He doesn't remember.

Speaker 1 Are you

Speaker 1 sure you didn't hear anyone drop him off? No, but I could have missed it. This is the fucking worst.
How do you know him?

Speaker 1 Oh, really?

Speaker 1 June, it was a long time ago. Tell me everything while you give me one of your cigarettes.
I really don't want to talk about it. But that's a problem because I want you to talk about it.

Speaker 1 We ran a little crime ring together, and it was just

Speaker 1 him and me, and it was.

Speaker 1 It was so hot, right? It was a very long time ago. This is comforting, actually.

Speaker 1 Why? I mean.

Speaker 1 You're good now.

Speaker 1 Things with Deidre are good, and then your ex shows up. That's classic.

Speaker 1 It's nice that it even happens in space. It is not nice at all.
Don't worry about it. I'm not worried about it.
Shnookums.

Speaker 1 You're standing in a pile of cigarette butts right now. You're worried about it.
I just had to leave Deidre's house in the middle of the night because my ex showed up. How would you feel?

Speaker 1 Deidre's gonna be fine. Oh, fuck me, sideways.
What? Oh, hey, speak of the devil. I knew she was gonna show up and try to help.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 What do I tell her? Tell her whatever. Tell her the truth.
Stop freaking out. You're making me freak out.
Fucks up my life. I swear to God.

Speaker 1 Hey. Hey, Deidre.

Speaker 1 I brought everyone some coffee and some food. Amazing.
How's everything going in there?

Speaker 1 I still have no idea what he's doing here, and neither does he. He doesn't know why he's here.

Speaker 1 You know how everybody feels like shit after we travel? Yeah. It's like that.
In really extreme cases, you can have memory loss, but he never had gate shock in the past. You know what?

Speaker 1 I'm gonna go in.

Speaker 1 Say hi.

Speaker 1 Please don't. Come on.
We're old friends. We can reminisce about...
The time there was a thousand copies of my uncle in the parking lot.

Speaker 1 What? Yeah, what the fuck are you talking about? Oh, well, well, well.

Speaker 1 Look who knows something that you don't. Well, thanks for the copy, Deirdre.
Sure.

Speaker 1 How are you doing? I'm sorry about this. It's fine.

Speaker 1 I really fucking hate that he's here. It's really fine.

Speaker 1 Are you okay?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 No, I'm not okay.

Speaker 1 We're on Rack's fucking prime, and that's bad enough. And then he shows up? I know.

Speaker 1 Trouble follows him.

Speaker 1 It always has.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I don't want trouble. I want to hide out here with you

Speaker 1 until we move on somewhere else.

Speaker 1 I don't want

Speaker 1 whatever

Speaker 1 bullshit he's bringing with him. Verge, why are you here?

Speaker 1 I'm here because Frank came and got me. No, here in Hood's pocket.

Speaker 1 It was a message from him, right?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Well, don't forget to thank him for me.

Speaker 1 I'm so

Speaker 1 terrified that he's going to fuck this up. Nothing can fuck this up.

Speaker 1 Nothing? Nothing.

Speaker 1 You and I are unfuck-uppable.

Speaker 1 Are we?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Mainly because of how much you are into me. I mean, look at how into me you are.
Oh, I really am. It's kind of embarrassing for you how into me you are.
You're a total wreck over me.

Speaker 1 I know you're kidding right now, but

Speaker 1 I am a wreck, and it is embarrassing.

Speaker 1 Here, I made you bacon and eggs, and I made some toast for him since he's probably out of things to throw up.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Oh, by the way, Trinket has got her antenna out. Great.
She is having weird feelings about him being here.

Speaker 1 She thinks something's going on. She always thinks something's going on.
Something always is going on.

Speaker 1 Maybe she can open up a portal to hell and trap him there. Verge, I am sorry for you that he's here, but honestly, maybe he needs help.
Maybe he's in trouble.

Speaker 1 Fine. I'm going to go get some sleep.
Somebody should. Thank you, sweetie.
Get in there. I'll see you at the sheep's eye.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 No, this is what I've been trying to tell you. This isn't my arm.

Speaker 1 I know it's not your arm, Leg. No! I mean, I had a baby boy installed.
When I woke up here, it was replaced with whatever this is. A technology that neither of us can identify.

Speaker 1 It doesn't even feel like a cybernetic.

Speaker 1 It feels like my arm. So, you're currently missing an indeterminate amount of time in your memory.
And in that time, the cybernetics you had installed were replaced by whatever all this is. Yes.

Speaker 1 And it's freaking me out. But we agree it's some kind of technology.
Yes. Some kind of unknown technology.

Speaker 1 You're also saying that the diner that initially brought you here is some kind of unknown technology that seems to be the theory yes the theory that was put forth by another version of you that works at a movie theater yes late this sounds so fucking stupid not any stupider than a phone box you really don't need to be here right now dude you don't know

Speaker 1 I could contribute things. Like what? Color commentary, Elden.
I prefer my commentary colorless. Thank you very much.
Where are we?

Speaker 1 We're trying to have a constructive conversation, but everything he says can be explained by Gaychalk. A little ridiculous to be skeptical when you're sitting here on a.

Speaker 1 Seriously, the whole fucking mountain? The whole fucking mountain. And it moves how often? Approximately every six months, thus far.
Six months? Yes. That sucks, Eldon.
Please fill out a comment card.

Speaker 1 I have a theory about that.

Speaker 1 The same length as ski season.

Speaker 1 It's all

Speaker 1 I'm saying. How long do do you travel for? Approximately 12 hours.
That's the same as us. But you stay put for six goddamn months? Yes.
Oh, that's really terrible.

Speaker 1 Oh, God, I think I'm going to be sick again. Have you tried drinking a glass of water backwards? I hear that helps.
That's for hiccups and also doesn't work. Says you.

Speaker 1 Is there any way we can do something constructive with this conversation? I mean, I've been listening to you two yell at each other for...

Speaker 1 Way too long.

Speaker 1 I have a thing. What? Is there any way we can go all the way back to the beginning? I've missed huge parts of the story.
Like I said, I woke up in the parking lot and I don't remember how I got there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, actually, can we go back further? I want to go full origin story. Let's go back to the very beginning.
Please no. We don't need to do that, June.
Hang on, though.

Speaker 1 There's stuff he doesn't remember, right? Yes. Okay.
Doesn't it help to jog your memory if you retrace your steps?

Speaker 1 It can.

Speaker 1 Let's go all the way back then.

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 1 Tell a story for the kids. I'm afraid June isn't wrong.
This may help revitalize your memory. Fucking great.
Life, go back to the very beginning. Jesus.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I was a kid in Humboldt County. I was a prodigy.
I would have graduated high school early, but I never really went to class. I liked making things since I was a little kid.
My parents hated it.

Speaker 1 They were farmers and anti-technology.

Speaker 1 Anyways, there was a soapbox derby in Eureka one year, and out of boredom, I entered. I won the soapbox derby, and it got the attention of the local news, and then it went national.

Speaker 1 And then, all of a sudden, there was a recruiter from Berkeley at the house offering me a full scholarship.

Speaker 1 How did a soapbox car get you a full scholarship? Because it could fly. Shut up, really? Yeah, it was pretty sweet, actually.
The street was sloped just right, and there was a constant upwind.

Speaker 1 So, if you keep the frame minimalist, yeah, don't do the fucking tangent thing, I swear.

Speaker 1 So, I went from Berkeley to projects in the public and private sector. Then, I wound up deep down in an abandoned gold mine working on the search for dark matter.
Oh, okay, okay.

Speaker 1 How did it go? I found it. Cool, cool, cool, cool.
What is it? What?

Speaker 1 Dark matter? Yeah. You claim to be a science fiction enthusiast and you don't know what dark matter is.
Yes, Elden, because it's science fiction, not science

Speaker 1 the other thing.

Speaker 1 The majority of matter in the universe is invisible, undetectable. That's dark matter.
Okay.

Speaker 1 But you found it. Yes.
Cool. Keep going.
Okay. After the discovery at the top of the mine they were waiting for us the teds oh okay

Speaker 1 i've heard this name before the teds are bad right we hate the teds the teds are bad real evil empire stuff okay are we talking dune evil empire or

Speaker 1 the dispossessed evil empire uh

Speaker 1 I'm going to say Hyperion Kantos evil empire, I guess. Okay.

Speaker 1 Got it.

Speaker 1 Finally, someone who speaks English around here. Oh, so

Speaker 1 there they are at the top of the mine. Yeah.
They want to keep Earth away from global paradigm shifts, so they offer us a buyout. So they wrote you a space check or something.

Speaker 1 I told them to give me a one-way ticket to space. Oh,

Speaker 1 yes.

Speaker 1 I feel that so hard, Leigh. That's when I left Earth.
I got a ship. I fucked around for a while, and then I found myself in a life of crime.
How did you find yourself there? I, uh,

Speaker 1 I met someone who needed a ship and uh

Speaker 1 so it started there. Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 Is he talking about you? Yes, June.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 a little awkward, but we can get through it.

Speaker 1 So you too, right? Like, yes. We can skip over this part.
That's fine with me. Okay, I'm just saying, what if this is the key to everything and we're skipping over it? It's not the key to everything.

Speaker 1 This isn't a gossip session. I fucked it up.

Speaker 1 That's what happened. It was good and I fucked it up, okay?

Speaker 1 I joined a larger criminal organization and, in the process, made Verge even more of a fugitive than they already were.

Speaker 1 I started working for the most notorious crime boss in the triad, and I made them much stronger over the years.

Speaker 1 A lot of years.

Speaker 1 And then one day I just

Speaker 1 couldn't take it anymore.

Speaker 1 I went on the run from the Ted Empire and the criminal underworld, and I went into hiding.

Speaker 1 Where did you go?

Speaker 1 Quillandis.

Speaker 1 Quillandis.

Speaker 1 Shit.

Speaker 1 Life.

Speaker 1 For

Speaker 1 how long?

Speaker 1 A few years, I think. Years?

Speaker 1 What's Quilandis? It's the last place anyone wants to be. Somebody give me a sci-fi reference.
LV426. Ouch.

Speaker 1 But then you left. When you're in hiding like that,

Speaker 1 you start to get antsy after a while.

Speaker 1 You start to feel like it's time to move. So I left

Speaker 1 and I stuck to the fringes, pretended to be be a cook on an ice hauler.

Speaker 1 And then one day,

Speaker 1 we're stopped at a space station. I go into the food court and

Speaker 1 there it is.

Speaker 1 Midnight Burger.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 here we go.

Speaker 1 So Midnight Burger, the same place that showed up in our parking lot. You're saying that that place...
is like this mountain. It's always moving around from place to place.

Speaker 1 I thought the diner was unique.

Speaker 1 It's not.

Speaker 1 We've encountered a lot of places like it since the last time you saw us. Explain to me the necessity of some sort of artifact that randomly travels through time and space.
Heldon,

Speaker 1 I have no fucking idea.

Speaker 1 Everybody's got theories, but nobody knows. But

Speaker 1 you're missing a pretty important part.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 We're on Rax Prime right now.

Speaker 1 But we're not.

Speaker 1 We're on one Rax Prime of infinite Rax Primes.

Speaker 1 The multiverse. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You've confirmed the existence of the multiverse. I've been living in it for years.
Which is why you are encountering multiple versions of yourself. Yes.
What kind of multiverse are we talking about?

Speaker 1 Pratchett? Pullman? Some other third one? I can't remember. It's the multiverse, so.

Speaker 1 All of them? This is getting so good. Our first stop was in medieval Bavaria, but it wasn't.
No,

Speaker 1 at least not the medieval Bavaria from your universe. How do we get back?

Speaker 1 You don't.

Speaker 1 How

Speaker 1 long have you been living like this? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Well, this is a lot to take in, Leigh. I know.
While we try and digest all that, why don't we move on into how you got here? Okay.

Speaker 1 Believe it or not,

Speaker 1 it all starts with a guy named Croc the Propagator.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry, what? Croc the Propagator. Is he a monster truck? No, hang on.

Speaker 1 What? A guy from a long time ago, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Had a bunch of kids.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I, um.

Speaker 1 I met his daughters.

Speaker 1 You did? You did? I mean, allegedly.

Speaker 1 Kazi, Titan, and Labuza, right? Holy shit. When did this happen? Right before I got you, Elden.
Right before I got Lafe's message. Seriously? Elden, um.

Speaker 1 The first time you logged into my comms node, played the message right before Lafe's message. Hello, Verge.

Speaker 1 So, yes, of course, I knew that you wouldn't come with us,

Speaker 1 but it was important that we asked.

Speaker 1 It was important for you to ask yourself, I think.

Speaker 1 I wanted to leave you a quick message because

Speaker 1 I charted your path a bit. Nothing too complex, and

Speaker 1 I don't quite know how to describe it.

Speaker 1 I'll just say

Speaker 1 there's always a way out, Verge.

Speaker 1 We make the world.

Speaker 1 What's happening? Why is everyone so quiet right now? Who goes first?

Speaker 1 Me or you?

Speaker 1 How about you go first?

Speaker 1 And then I'll tell you how it all went horribly wrong.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 I have to say

Speaker 1 that story fucking rules an entire galaxy of earthlings. A dwarf galaxy, but

Speaker 1 yeah, this is a difficult story if we want to believe right out of the game. You understand that, right? Like, Heldon,

Speaker 1 think about where you are right now.

Speaker 1 How exactly do you classify something as unbelievable? I understand your point, but reason still needs to play a part in things. Like, wouldn't that be nice? I can't wait to tell Frank this story.

Speaker 1 Can you imagine? Yeah, that's a good point, actually. What is it? Oh, oh, oh, okay, Jude.
A space god with a galaxy full of earthlings. Uh-huh.
Okay, sure, sure.

Speaker 1 Why the fuck are you telling me this? I'm gonna go home and tell Teidra what we've been talking about this whole time. Do you think she's gonna want to keep it a secret?

Speaker 1 No, she is not. Her earnestness is a bit of an encumbrance right now, but

Speaker 1 we've got Frank wondering what's going on. Trinkets already sniffing around.
Let's just tell everyone what's going on.

Speaker 1 Let's have a town meeting. We are not having another town meeting.
You don't even like town meetings. I'm not saying I would be there.
This story is wholly unbelievable.

Speaker 1 There's no reason for us to start foisting it on everyone in town.

Speaker 1 Leif is saying we're never going to be able to go home again.

Speaker 1 Is that part of his story believable? That

Speaker 1 yes, I believe it is.

Speaker 1 Based on what we've observed, based on archival knowledge we have on Midnight Burger, viewing it from a multiversal perspective makes our situation make much more sense.

Speaker 1 People should know that, don't you think?

Speaker 1 There may be a lot of people in town who are hoping our next stop is home.

Speaker 1 They probably deserve to know that it won't be

Speaker 1 ever.

Speaker 1 But we're agreed: no town meetings. Fuck no.
How would you like to break the news?

Speaker 1 I can think of one way.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 this will be an interesting broadcast. I know it sounds crazy,

Speaker 1 but

Speaker 1 we should probably rip the band-aid off. Okay,

Speaker 1 if you say so.

Speaker 1 How are you doing?

Speaker 1 Me.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 Leif's story sounds ridiculous, but the fact that we're never going home again, you know.

Speaker 1 Are you okay?

Speaker 1 I'm home.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Come sit down with me. We'll do this together.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Hey there, Hidspocket.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 have we got a story for you?

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Speaker 1 Hey there,

Speaker 1 hi.

Speaker 1 I'm Trinket.

Speaker 1 Hey, Trinket,

Speaker 1 you must be lafe.

Speaker 1 Word gets around.

Speaker 1 Uh, yeah, I guess so.

Speaker 1 How are you feeling?

Speaker 1 I've been better.

Speaker 1 I hope so.

Speaker 1 What's up with the bicycles?

Speaker 1 One's for you.

Speaker 1 What? Let's take a ride.

Speaker 1 A ride? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Best way to see the town.

Speaker 1 Where are you from, Trinket?

Speaker 1 From?

Speaker 1 I'm from here. I mean, well, not here.

Speaker 1 I'm from Hood's Pocket. I was born here.

Speaker 1 Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Your eyes are yellow. Oh, right.

Speaker 1 Shit. I keep forgetting, you know, like,

Speaker 1 sorry.

Speaker 1 I bet it's a little creepy, huh? It's fine. Hey, I bet you know what Spacefoot is, don't you?

Speaker 1 Spacefoot?

Speaker 1 Sure. I know what that is.
Well, I drank a whole bottle of it, and after about two weeks, my eyes started looking like this.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 A bottle? Well, yeah, I hear that's a lot. That's a lifetime supply for a whole town.
I hear that too.

Speaker 1 That didn't kill you?

Speaker 1 I'm standing right here.

Speaker 1 And you're asking me to take a bike ride.

Speaker 1 I am.

Speaker 1 For fun?

Speaker 1 Well, not exactly. We're.

Speaker 1 We're going to do the rounds.

Speaker 1 Do you deliver the mail or something?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 The people of Hood's Pocket got a little news this morning, and they heard a story about a guy named Laif who has just told us that we're never going home again.

Speaker 1 So I'm sure you can imagine how that might make a few of us feel.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 we're going to

Speaker 1 check in on them.

Speaker 1 I imagine

Speaker 1 they might want to get to know you.

Speaker 1 I can't see how that's possible. Well,

Speaker 1 well,

Speaker 1 wouldn't you want to talk to you?

Speaker 1 Listen,

Speaker 1 I've had a pretty rough 24 hours. Leif, I get the feeling that you've come a very long way and that you've got a lot to do.
But right now,

Speaker 1 I think you need to forget all of that and come ride a bicycle.

Speaker 1 I can't remember the last time I rode a bicycle. Well, don't worry.
It's just like riding a bicycle. Come on.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 You're doing great.

Speaker 1 Thanks.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 tell me about this place.

Speaker 1 Rax Prime. Yeah, tell me something.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Uh

Speaker 1 a long time ago, it was ruled by a warlord named Bugbug.

Speaker 1 Uh, that's a fun name. He was not a fun guy.
Extravagant, though. He had a ship the size of a moon, like a Death Star.

Speaker 1 What's a Death Star?

Speaker 1 Star Wars? Oh,

Speaker 1 I've never seen it.

Speaker 1 Seriously? No, I grew up here, and then when I wasn't here, I was in a caravan in the Renaissance fair.

Speaker 1 For real?

Speaker 1 I mean, look at me.

Speaker 1 Is it that surprising?

Speaker 1 I guess not.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 Bugbug was the ruler of this place. He was just a raider at first.
This was his hideout. These mountains are called Bugbug's teeth.

Speaker 1 They all have a particular blend of metal fibers that deflect sensors.

Speaker 1 It's a good hideout.

Speaker 1 He ended up the way most of those guys ended up.

Speaker 1 And then the city got taken over by Killjoy and Love Bug, his two lieutenants.

Speaker 1 then the whole place descended into chaos nowadays it's a bunch of gang factions

Speaker 1 kind of weird to be taking a leisurely bike ride through one of the most dangerous places in the triad you think that's weird

Speaker 1 just wait until we get to the secret military base the what

Speaker 1 General note, everyone.

Speaker 1 I have no problem with the forklift being nicknamed Russell Bunny, and I'm willing to tolerate the makeshift ears it's now wearing. But in your official reports, please just call it the forklift.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Hey, Celeste.
Hello, Trinket. To what do I owe the pleasure?

Speaker 1 Oh! Hello. Celeste, this is Lafe.
Oh, so this is Lafe. Hi.
Welcome. What happened here? Uh, it used to be a top-secret location.
Now it looks like a Home Depot. Those look like meteor craters.

Speaker 1 They are. What happened? Well, right before we started traveling, we were all almost killed by space rocks.
Mm-hmm. Some of us fared better than others.
Wild.

Speaker 1 Listening station, right?

Speaker 1 Uh, yes.

Speaker 1 How did you know that? Project Octopus? Hmm, yes. It's under Project Octopus.
How did you know that?

Speaker 1 I had a few government contracts when I was younger, so I had code word clearance for a while, and uh,

Speaker 1 well,

Speaker 1 that was a mistake on their part. I see.
So, what were you scanning for?

Speaker 1 Seems like an odd place for a listening station. Okay, let-

Speaker 1 Let's back up for a minute. Right, sure.
Uh, I think a lot of my people were hoping there was at least a chance they could see home again. I won't say there's no chance of that happening.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying the chances of that happening are so small that it can't be expressed in standard integers.

Speaker 1 I was just trying to

Speaker 1 have a career in the military, Laif. Join the army, see the world, right? That's the Navy.
Well, you're really showing them up right now.

Speaker 1 I'm getting the sense maybe this isn't the time for jokes. Lafe, this listening station doesn't have a tower.
Not because it got knocked down by a meteor, it never did.

Speaker 1 The entire array is pointed at the mountain.

Speaker 1 We were put here because we were tasked with finding out if there was anything strange about this mountain. Guess what? Okay.

Speaker 1 Well, first of all, mission accomplished. We are now without a mission and without home.

Speaker 1 Any insight as to what we're supposed to do now? Sergeant, if it's any condolence, I just got kicked out of the only place I've ever called home.

Speaker 1 Be grateful for what you've got.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 I'm getting the sense that even though this is not my fault, people are going to blame me for their situation. Yeah, that's probably true.
Try not to take it too personally.

Speaker 1 This is actually kind of nice. Right?

Speaker 1 You're carrying a lot of stuff around, Leif.

Speaker 1 Like I said, it's been a pretty rough 24 hours.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 Your body was mangled.

Speaker 1 You... you.

Speaker 1 You lost a lot of people.

Speaker 1 And.

Speaker 1 Well, there are some other things too. Some things you're

Speaker 1 not ready to talk about yet.

Speaker 1 So, you're the town's psychic. Is that it?

Speaker 1 It's such a cliche, right? I mean,

Speaker 1 I wasn't before.

Speaker 1 Before, I was just, you know, one of those weird ladies with a weird little store.

Speaker 1 But the spacefoot didn't just turn my eyes yellow. It

Speaker 1 shifted my perception.

Speaker 1 Right now, we're going to see Steve. Steve is in a place called the Glade of Wishes right now.
How do I know that?

Speaker 1 No idea.

Speaker 1 That doesn't surprise me. Now pardon the assumption, but I'm going to assume you've got some experience with hallucinogens.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
You know how everyone's different after they trip for the first time? Like they see the world a little differently? Absolutely. Well, Spacefoot is the same way.

Speaker 1 Even when people take an appropriate dose, they're just a little different after they do.

Speaker 1 Someone taking a dose big enough for hundreds of people?

Speaker 1 No telling what that does.

Speaker 1 Elden tells me that it's still alive?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 The passenger. It'll be in there forever.
Why don't I have mushrooms coming out of my ears? One of the reasons why it's so valuable is because it grows so slow.

Speaker 1 The batch you drank probably took a couple hundred years to grow.

Speaker 1 And Verge used to smuggle it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You didn't like that.

Speaker 1 Spacefoot's the most dangerous game out there. People will do anything to get their hands on it.

Speaker 1 I wasn't a fan.

Speaker 1 You really cared about each other.

Speaker 1 I didn't know how to care about people back then. Well, who did when they were young? I bet you did.
No, you're talking to a former goth girl. Oh, yeah?

Speaker 1 I saw Dead Can Dance live three times in one summer. Wow.

Speaker 1 Empathy isn't a quality, it's a skill.

Speaker 1 You have to work on it.

Speaker 1 You've been working on it.

Speaker 1 Sometimes.

Speaker 1 Steve?

Speaker 1 Yo.

Speaker 1 How are you doing? Oh,

Speaker 1 I'm doing all right, I guess. This is Leif.
Oh, yeah?

Speaker 1 This is the guy? This is the guy. Hey, how's it going? Okay.

Speaker 1 How about you? You know,

Speaker 1 I like to come out here and think sometimes.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 kind of big news this morning. So

Speaker 1 here I am. Well, take your time with it.
It's a lot.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I mean, I've been sitting here thinking about all the people I'm never going to see again.

Speaker 1 Every year, going down to the Oregon Country Fair and seeing old friends.

Speaker 1 Mama Mander and B-Raz,

Speaker 1 Slunt Master J.

Speaker 1 I'm never gonna see them again.

Speaker 1 Been trying to decide how I feel about all that.

Speaker 1 Is that

Speaker 1 gonna do a number on me?

Speaker 1 Am I gonna feel adrift? Am I gonna get lost in the sauce?

Speaker 1 After thinking about it, I'm thinking

Speaker 1 no,

Speaker 1 I'm good.

Speaker 1 Okay, Steve. Hey, can I see the arm? Uh,

Speaker 1 sure.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 is it

Speaker 1 glowing a little bit? A little.

Speaker 1 I don't really know how it works. Hey, hey, foot two, right? Really impressive rumor mill around here.
You can thank June for that. Can I see the foot two? Steve.
Some other time. No big deal.

Speaker 1 Hey,

Speaker 1 how are you fixed for weed, man?

Speaker 1 i would absolutely love some fantastic hey it's great stuff okay my supplier he gets it from this guy in humboldt named the big moose he is an artist you're kidding me what

Speaker 1 moose is still alive you know him i built his drying system

Speaker 1 How is he not dead?

Speaker 1 I've heard stories about him. Apparently, he's weed strong.

Speaker 1 That guy's going to outlive everybody. That's crazy.
Hey, look at that. Out here in another galaxy and still

Speaker 1 small world.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Anyway, welcome to Hood's Pocket Life.

Speaker 1 Thanks.

Speaker 1 This place is almost too adorable. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's nice. I just met the town drug dealer and it was like meeting Barney Fife.

Speaker 1 It's always been like that.

Speaker 1 Shit, turn off here. What?

Speaker 1 What's up? I was hoping to avoid these guys. Who are they? Outside Raxius, there's an encampment of mercenaries run by a guy named Slabs McTurps.
Total scumbags.

Speaker 1 That's a group of them outside that sporting goods store.

Speaker 1 Not so adorable. What do you think they're up to?

Speaker 1 They're never up to anything good. Let's go

Speaker 1 skiing.

Speaker 1 Looks like they're gonna try skiing.

Speaker 1 Here's hoping they break their legs. Come on, we can avoid these guys.
Turn down this street. Okay.

Speaker 1 How many times have you been here?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Raxius is like the Paris of scumbags, and

Speaker 1 And you used to be a scumbag. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Turn left here.

Speaker 1 Where are we going? We're going to go see Flat Doug.

Speaker 1 Flat? We're trying to not call him that anymore, though. So just call him Doug.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Flat?

Speaker 1 He got hit by a snowplow? Whoa. Twice.
Twice? Yeah. Is he okay? Strangely, yes.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 he's been having a rough time lately. He's.

Speaker 1 He's been taking care of his dad for a long time. And at our last stop, his dad passed away.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Huh.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Uh.

Speaker 1 The place that I come from, the diner?

Speaker 1 That doesn't happen. What?

Speaker 1 What do you mean?

Speaker 1 Time kind of. stops.

Speaker 1 Stops? Yeah. When I first found it, there was only one guy working there, Casper.

Speaker 1 Found out later he had been there for over a hundred years.

Speaker 1 Well, that's definitely not what happens here. That.
That.

Speaker 1 And that sounds unnatural. Was he okay?

Speaker 1 What's okay look like? I guess that's a good point.

Speaker 1 There he is.

Speaker 1 Hey, Doug. Oh, um, hello there, drink it.
How are you? Oh, I'm fine. Doug, I want you to meet Lafe.

Speaker 1 Um, hello. You heard about Laif this morning.
Laif and I were just checking in with people, seeing how they're doing.

Speaker 1 Oh, uh, okay. Um,

Speaker 1 I am fine.

Speaker 1 Good. What's up with the pine cones?

Speaker 1 Oh, what? I'm what? I'm sorry. You

Speaker 1 have an armful of pine cones.

Speaker 1 Aha. Um,

Speaker 3 yes, I, yes, yes, I do.

Speaker 1 Yes, ha,

Speaker 1 so what's going on, Doug?

Speaker 3 Oh, well, no, no, I was, I, I was, I was just, um, uh, oh, uh, doing some gardening as I do now.

Speaker 1 Uh-huh, okay.

Speaker 1 Some

Speaker 1 gardening? Yes.

Speaker 1 Doug just started gardening.

Speaker 1 Great.

Speaker 1 I am, of course, very excited to hear about how Doug's

Speaker 1 gardening has been going.

Speaker 3 Oh, no, it's going, it's going well. It's, I, it,

Speaker 3 I'm sure I will be able to talk about it soon.

Speaker 1 Great. Dude, what the hell's going on in your backyard?

Speaker 3 Oh, well, no, I just, I planted the acorn squash.

Speaker 1 I'm going back there. No, please wait.

Speaker 3 No, don't. It's very skittish.
I think you should probably just please stay out here.

Speaker 1 Doug.

Speaker 1 Do you know what a Hasmatilda is?

Speaker 1 I do not. It's a giant flying rodent, Doug.
It descends on you in the darkness and eats your liver. Oh, God.
Okay. Well, no, no,

Speaker 3 that isn't what's back there.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 But we should probably check to see if it's something of the liver-eating variety, don't you think?

Speaker 1 Um, Doug, Doug, I think it's time.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Everybody stay behind me, okay?

Speaker 1 Oh

Speaker 1 Okay

Speaker 1 Well, hello

Speaker 1 So is is it okay? It's fine. God, what the fuck is this thing called again? Do you have your phone? Oh, yes.
Hey Elden what what's the name of that huge salamander thing on this planet?

Speaker 1 An Ashleysaurus. Yeah.
Doug has one in his backyard. Oh.

Speaker 1 all right enjoy

Speaker 3 so i've been i've been trying to get it to eat something and i heard the mongo eats pine cones so i was going to try some of those

Speaker 1 it eats moss semi-aquatic plants things like that hello there

Speaker 1 what a beautiful person you are

Speaker 1 look i i don't i don't have um any of there's a mongoose needs to be in a river doug i'm not sure how it got into your backyard how the fuck did a mongo get here how do mongoes get anywhere Lafe?

Speaker 1 Try and keep this. Doug is really rare, isn't he?

Speaker 1 Yes, they're a delicacy in some circles. They're nearly extinct.

Speaker 3 A what? A delicacy?

Speaker 1 Yes, I'm afraid so.

Speaker 1 Well, that's terrible. It's a hard life out there for delicious things.

Speaker 3 No, then it should stay here.

Speaker 1 Doug, your backyard is not an ideal environment for this creature.

Speaker 3 Well, no, but neither, I mean, is an oven.

Speaker 1 Doug, I don't know what to tell you. Eventually, it's going to die there.
No, it's here.

Speaker 3 So it wants to be here, and if it wants to be here, it's going to, it's, it's, it's going to just to be here. It should be alive.

Speaker 1 Things should be alive.

Speaker 1 Doug. Hey, you know what?

Speaker 1 We just need to build a pond.

Speaker 1 A pond?

Speaker 1 Can you do that? Yeah.

Speaker 1 We just need to bury a kiddie pool or maybe some plastic sheeting. Pipe down to the water table, cycle some water through.

Speaker 1 I'm not sure what to do about food, but maybe Trinket can use her magical powers to command moss to do her bidding. Who knows? I've never tried.

Speaker 1 Should be fine.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay. Yeah.
I mean,

Speaker 1 it looks like I'm going to be here for a minute.

Speaker 1 Good to have a project, right? That sounds very nice, Leif. Is there a hardware store in town? Yeah, yeah, I can take you there.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I did.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 It's a pretty big black cloud, Lafe.

Speaker 1 What is? It's been a pretty big 24 hours. I get it.

Speaker 1 But there's something kind of following you around.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Everybody's got baggage. Man, it's bigger than baggage.

Speaker 1 Do you want to talk about it?

Speaker 1 I'm going to build this guy a pond.

Speaker 1 Yes, that's

Speaker 1 very nice of you.

Speaker 1 Stuff like that.

Speaker 1 Being around other people reminds me that

Speaker 1 other people exist.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I was alone for a while before I came here.

Speaker 1 Wait, we don't have to talk about it right now.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Feel like having a beer?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 that sounds alright.

Speaker 1 No one may tell me when I have have drunk too much.

Speaker 1 I am Snorts, Magort.

Speaker 1 Snorts, Morts. I mean, this fucking guy.
I am the axe of the Green Army. Snorts.
How dare you tell me I cannot have another margin

Speaker 1 margarit

Speaker 1 beverage. Snorts.
Ah.

Speaker 1 Another comes to try and command snorts, Magorts.

Speaker 1 Do you wish to taste my axe? Give me the fucking axe. Give it to me.
That's my axe. Ow, ow.
That is my axe. Time to go.
Ow, ow, ow, ow.

Speaker 1 Get the fuck out of here. How dare you? I'm keeping your axe.
Give me my axe. Do you want your axe? Give me my axe.
Snorts.

Speaker 1 I don't know what kind of world you live in, but we have rules here at

Speaker 1 Earthland.

Speaker 1 Do you understand me?

Speaker 1 May I have my axe?

Speaker 1 Please. Good.
That was great. Now, are you going to follow the rules?

Speaker 1 Yes. Uh-huh.
So when someone says you can't have another margarita,

Speaker 1 what does that mean?

Speaker 1 It means I cannot have another

Speaker 1 margarita. Good.
That's right, Snorts. Okay.
Now, take your axe and get get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 1 Please.

Speaker 1 It's it's just the what

Speaker 1 I have been drinking. I should not pilot my vehicle.
Oh, fuck me. Okay.
Jesus Christ. Uh,

Speaker 1 hey.

Speaker 1 Can hey, can someone give Snorts a ride home to his

Speaker 1 cave or

Speaker 1 whatever?

Speaker 1 What about that one there? The purple guy? Yeah. Where's he from? Gubrius.
Okay.

Speaker 1 What goes on there? Are you ready to hear some ridiculous bullshit about the triad? Yes.

Speaker 1 Remember back in the 80s when you could go into a mall and buy those off-the-shoulder sweaters that had Japanese lettering on them? Sure. And the translation was gibberish.
It didn't mean anything.

Speaker 1 The important part was just the aesthetics of the Japanese lettering. Right.
It's the same way with earth culture out here.

Speaker 1 People adopt it, but they don't even know what it means or they misunderstand it. So,

Speaker 1 Gubrius is a theocracy, right? The whole planet is led by a spiritual leader, and they're really into Earth stuff there.

Speaker 1 So, this spiritual leader, the guy that leads the whole planet,

Speaker 1 Hank the Wonder Llama. What?

Speaker 1 They took it from the Buddhists.

Speaker 1 Buddhists have llamas, but then they spell it wrong. They spell it with two L's, like the animal.
So, what it sounds like to an Earthling is that Gubrius is led by a friggin Peruvian llama named Hank.

Speaker 1 That's amazing. I wish they were all that funny.

Speaker 1 It's been hard to get our base set back up. We've got limited resources and no support.

Speaker 1 But as MacArthur once said, age wrinkles the body, quitting wrinkles the soul. I like this MacArthur.
He seems like a very wise man. We also have a saying in our ranks.

Speaker 1 Your unfinished deeds fuel the fires of Gilaks.

Speaker 1 It doesn't translate very well, but you understand.

Speaker 1 Sure. I have also faced a challenge like this.
Our armies were stranded on the moon of Azana. The enemy was all around, and our rations were depleted.

Speaker 1 Our only course of action was to eat the dreaded goo worm of Azana, a disgusting creature. But I said to my men, better to be a free goo worm eater than a slave with a full belly.

Speaker 1 Right. So I know what you're talking about.

Speaker 1 Okay, hey, okay, whose huge hovercraft is parked outside? That is not where we park. If you want a parking space, you have to go further down the street.

Speaker 1 How's it going, Frank?

Speaker 1 I think we have to agree. Earthland.
It's going pretty well. Yes, Steve, you have successfully turned a nightmare scenario into a different nightmare scenario.
That's what I do. Hey, people,

Speaker 1 the huge green hovercraft thing, do I have to tow it myself?

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go. General, it was wonderful speaking with you.
And with you, Sergeant, the Legion of Slabs McTurps is encamped outside the south side of the city, if you are ever in the neighborhood.

Speaker 1 I look forward to it. Hey, Frank.
Hey, Deidre. Steve.
Oh, my God. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They really know how to party. There's more broken glass on the floor than there is floor on the floor.
Yeah, yeah. They, um, they started playing a game called Stabby Cacti.

Speaker 1 They, like, throw their glass on the floor when they're done drinking. It's not a game, Steve.
That's just throwing things. Don't judge their culture, Frank.
Hello again. Hey, Celeste.

Speaker 1 I'm thinking this place might not be so bad bad after all.

Speaker 1 I just met a very nice man. A general, apparently.
Slabs McTurps is his name? Really?

Speaker 1 Yes. Slabs McTurps.

Speaker 1 What? Nothing. He's just a.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 mass murderer. God damn it.
In his defense, it was just the one time.

Speaker 1 Great.

Speaker 1 Here, I've been instructed to give this to you, Leif. Uh

Speaker 1 Nokia 3310.

Speaker 1 Why? Good morning, Starshine. Aha.
Now I can follow you wherever you go. Fucking great.
Could you come to the back room? We'd like to speak with you. Hang on.

Speaker 1 I'll be right back.

Speaker 1 Hello?

Speaker 1 Are you enjoying your stint? Jesus. Have you hit the gift shop yet?

Speaker 1 Still doing the blending into shadows thing, I see. Ah, old habits, you know.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm.

Speaker 1 I'm happy.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 I was.

Speaker 1 I was pretty pissed off

Speaker 1 when you showed up, as I'm sure

Speaker 1 you can imagine.

Speaker 1 But then I was reminded that you're the reason why I'm here.

Speaker 1 I'm happy.

Speaker 1 And your message got me here.

Speaker 1 Good.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 I met someone

Speaker 1 really well, you know

Speaker 1 earthlings. I have a type

Speaker 1 That's great. Deidre, she runs this place.

Speaker 1 That's really great, Verge.

Speaker 1 Hey,

Speaker 1 you know, I was thinking

Speaker 1 you're on a mountain.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What? Nothing, just

Speaker 1 vapians.

Speaker 1 They lived in the mountains.

Speaker 1 You never mentioned how you lost your arm. I didn't.

Speaker 1 There's a lot to cover.

Speaker 1 Oh. Um.

Speaker 1 When we escaped Kroc, it landed me back on Colandis.

Speaker 1 I was about thirty kilometers from shelter.

Speaker 1 Frostbite.

Speaker 1 I thought you said you were in Triangulum.

Speaker 1 Afterwards, I was. Why were you all the way out there

Speaker 1 in Triangulum?

Speaker 1 No reason.

Speaker 1 I was just

Speaker 1 hiding

Speaker 1 trying to plan my next move.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Speaking of which, I need Elden's help on something. What's that? I need to find some CMB data for this universe.
Why? CMB data is like a fingerprint. Every universe has a different one.

Speaker 1 And I have a few of them memorized. If I can get some CMB data, I might be able to figure out what universe we're in.
What good will that do? I need to figure out a way back to the diner.

Speaker 1 The first step would be knowing where I am in the first place. But you'd need to access the wider network in the triad to do it.
Yes. We're trying to keep a low profile.

Speaker 1 Yes, like I'm not sure it's worth the risk. I understand, but I've got a series of abandoned comms nodes that I use for things like this.

Speaker 1 They're listed as inoperative, but I can use them without being detected. You're sure you can't be detected.
Unless someone is monitoring that specific node, but nobody knows it exists.

Speaker 1 Well, you sneaky little devil. All right.
We'll set up shop at Virgin's room tonight. More data on our location would be good for everyone, everyone, so perhaps it's worth the risk.

Speaker 1 Great, you boys have a lovely evening.

Speaker 1 Only half of them were badly injured.

Speaker 1 Where in the fuck am I living?

Speaker 1 Hello? Hello? Did you bring it in? Yeah, I've got it. Put it down on the table there.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm really concerned about the energy this thing brings with it.
Trinket, it's a 20-inch TV VCR combo. It's not a nuclear reactor.
I know.

Speaker 1 It's just not very me,

Speaker 1 but I think it's important. What is? June, let me borrow this.
Star Wars? Yes.

Speaker 1 Lafe mentioned it today.

Speaker 1 I think I need to watch it. And that really is the best way to watch it on stunning 20-inch vacuum tube.
Oh, come on.

Speaker 1 It's a big step for me.

Speaker 1 Okay. Fine.
Enjoy.

Speaker 1 You're not going to watch it with me? No, I should get back over to the sheep's eye. Well, I'll know if there's trouble.
Watch this movie with me. Come on.

Speaker 1 I made you some tea.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 if there's tea involved, count me in. I'm starting the movie.
Get some tea.

Speaker 1 Fine.

Speaker 1 I feel like this movie is really going to help me.

Speaker 1 That's ridiculous.

Speaker 1 Well, June says there's nine of them altogether. Is that true? Not really.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and be sure and read the FBI warning. It's important.

Speaker 1 You done? Okay.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 how is this movie going to help you? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Something about going to war with an evil empire.

Speaker 1 Fantastic.

Speaker 1 Here we go.

Speaker 1 Alright, tell me how all of this is going to work, you fucking criminal. Okay.

Speaker 1 We're going to target the painted Oni Nebula. Alright.
There's a casino station there called Globed Roulette. That station was shut down after an outbreak of redpox.

Speaker 1 Yes, but the reactor is still online, and so is their dedicated comms node. It's just not listed in the system.

Speaker 1 Fascinating. People will see someone accessing the network, but they won't know who or from where.

Speaker 1 And if we're detected? We won't be, but if we are, how many data requests can you do at once? 1.2 billion per second, depending on signal strength.

Speaker 1 Make that many requests all at the same time, and it should slow down the system enough for us to get out undetected. Alright.
Once we're connected, access the data on the Planck satellite on Earth.

Speaker 1 That'll be the quickest access. Very well.

Speaker 1 I am connecting to the casino

Speaker 1 and the comms node.

Speaker 1 Awfully messy in here.

Speaker 1 There's the Planck satellite. I'll display this on the television.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 It's up.

Speaker 1 Great.

Speaker 1 Alright, there it is.

Speaker 1 Well, shit.

Speaker 1 What's the problem?

Speaker 1 I don't recognize this scan at all. I have no idea where I am.

Speaker 1 Well, even if you did, what would you do with that information? I don't know. It would be something, I guess.

Speaker 1 Shit, you can disconnect. I'm updating the mainframe on the Phoenix.
Just a few more packets. Do I live here now? Well, we do have some very affordable real estate here in Hood's pocket.
Great.

Speaker 1 God damn it, Leif. What? We're being observed.
Someone's trying to track us. Who? I have no idea.
Deploying data requests. That should do it.

Speaker 1 It didn't work. They're still trying to track the signal.
Firewall is holding, but whatever protocols they have are very strong. Get out of there.

Speaker 1 I can't, not until I've covered our tracks, and I've just made 1.2 billion data requests. Okay.
Take one of the packets you've downloaded and double encrypt it.

Speaker 1 Deploy that packet on the network, observe how they eat through the encryption, and then incorporate their decryption process into our firewall. Working.

Speaker 1 Firewall altered.

Speaker 1 It's holding.

Speaker 1 We're safe, but they've managed to push through a carrier pigeon. What the fuck? It'll be a 30-second audio channel, then they'll be locked out.
Stay completely silent.

Speaker 5 Pretty impressive.

Speaker 5 Sounds like someone's been reading my playbook.

Speaker 1 Who are you?

Speaker 5 Ah, never mind. I'll find out.

Speaker 5 I hope whatever you got was worth it.

Speaker 5 It'll be the reason you end up dead.

Speaker 5 It'll take me a second, but I'll get you.

Speaker 5 God, I should thank you, actually.

Speaker 5 Been a while since I had a challenge.

Speaker 5 Anyway,

Speaker 5 enjoy these last few weeks because now

Speaker 1 showtime.

Speaker 1 Oh shit.

Speaker 1 Did you get the data update for the system?

Speaker 1 Yes. Access the Ted's ten most wanted list.

Speaker 1 Am I still on it?

Speaker 1 You are.

Speaker 1 Oh my god.

Speaker 1 In this universe, I never left loaf tracks.

Speaker 1 I'm afraid it's much worse than that, Life.

Speaker 1 What do you mean?

Speaker 1 In this universe,

Speaker 1 there is no more loaf tracks.

Speaker 1 In this universe,

Speaker 1 you are the most notorious pirate in the triad.

Speaker 1 Welcome to the horizon, as brought to you in part by our Monte Cristo level and above supporters, Wilson, Billy, Burtbert, Bethany, 2nd Bethany, and Thosocles Bethany Maximus, Lord of Kingwood, Texas.

Speaker 1 Non-binary Bethany's long-lost sibling, Frank. Bethany Hills Babayaga.
You call her Bethany, I call her Headphony. The Goblins rise to the aid of the Bethanies.

Speaker 1 Jason, commander of the Bethany Hunters McDonald. The Bethanies demand more Omega Station.
Odd Keep of the Sentient Lighthouse watching for Wayward Bethanies.

Speaker 1 The faceless old Bethany who secretly lives in your home. Bethany the Lone Star Edition.
There are only 120 MB fanfiction and no Bethany. CJ's big barbecue bistro for Bethany's.

Speaker 1 Joji the Birdwatcher disguised as a Bethany. The Bethany of Bethany's.
Physic the Good Bush, definitely not one of the bad bushes funding rebel Bethanies to overthrow the duly elected Bethanies.

Speaker 1 My milkshake brings all the Bethanies to the diner. Davenbuster's server manager ready to serve all the Bethany's of Monte Cristo.
N.B. Bethany's cut your car in half with a laser saw.

Speaker 1 Chase and her army of turtles join the Bethany War. Dr.
Professor Reverend Bethany Wethany Lethanyy Woofy McFluffenberger, MD Ph.D. Esquire, and that's not pretentious at all,

Speaker 1 is looking for a cure to the Bethany mutation that the Society of Bethany's began the war with so many years ago. Topher the Sporadic Gay Bethany.

Speaker 1 Arnold Rumspringer, the demise of the Temple of Bethany's. Bethany visiting with the coven in a greenfield.
Bubble Butt Bethany has banana breath. Bethany 2, electric boogaloo.
I pushed her.

Speaker 1 Bethany, that is. Chad Hatter, Space Mage in the War Against the Bethanies.
Lady Bethany, aka Mrs. Turkey Spit.

Speaker 1 Wilbur Winklewright, Wristwatch Wrangler of West Worcestershire, bamboozled by the bajillions of bustling Bethany's Bethanies, belligerently blocking his sight of the devious Rednell.

Speaker 1 Rednell, hiding in a crowd of Bethanies to avoid capture by Wily Wilbur Winklewright, wristwatch Wrangler of West Worcestershire. Bailey's Bethany's burger.
Bethany, hold the Beth.

Speaker 1 Billy Rose stole my Bethany's. Mr.
Squizzle Sizzle Wizzle Fizzle the Horrendous apologizes for conspiring in the Bethany War. Invites for tea are being sent now.

Speaker 1 Alexandre Laroque has brought La Guillotine to assist the Bethanies in their survival war. Vive la Révolution.

Speaker 1 The Julius Bohannon Foundation, the coalition of patrons named Bethany, and contributions to your TED station from viewers like you.

Speaker 1 Whom, what, when, where, why, and Billy Rose would like to be at the beginning to say hello to all Bethany's, no matter the disputes.

Speaker 1 Byro the motherfucking dragon is willing to solve the Bethany War with Yahtzee. Cowboy and Sasquatch hunts Bethany's.

Speaker 1 Sonic Boy99 would like a Bethany butt sandwich, but will settle for a fish in a bag. Wandering Bethany Biscuit.
Glorbnar 7, now granting refugee status to victims fleeing the Bethany Wars.

Speaker 1 Bethany in a random place. Jalen Lanaris, secretly an NB Bethany.

Speaker 1 In the mysterious AZHQ, I'll grant you that we have a multiplicity of mics, a jumble of James's, a trifecta of Tony's, one of whom still wants to be Laif, but sadly, no Bethany's.

Speaker 1 Eris, Goddess of Bethany's. But Bethany, I'm A Biscuits.
Green Mountain Hermit might be allergic to Bethany stew. Reese Pontiff ponders, to Bethany or not to Bethany.

Speaker 1 Lost Basan Prison is now an all-inclusive resort for the Bethanies and their family and friends. Never too late to Bethany Bandwagon.
Bethany Boppity Boom. Tybalt the Bethany.

Speaker 1 I'm Eva's evil twin sister, Bethany. The real fairy godmother says, if you Bethany's don't knock it off, I'll turn this audio drama around, around, so help me.

Speaker 1 Alphant Soup Person, Knight of the Order of Bethanies. Still Casper's number one fan, but now armed with a quantum spatula and ready to jewel every Bethany in the multiverse with breakfast wisdom.
Dr.

Speaker 1 Punt Cusher Esquire is dressed as a Bethany and handing out Costco hot dogs for Halloween. Hicks Bethany Mates.

Speaker 1 Don't mind dances with frozen burritos hiding in the deep freeze till the Bethanies in their war. Nate the Milkman, aims affection for internet protection.

Speaker 1 Phantom Zone, Droughtbreaker, definitely not Kevin. Tara, Captain Emerald L, Magpie Cat says everything's a bag of holding if you know how to pack.

Speaker 1 Miles Nelson, Kimber Derp, Turtles All the Way Down, De Amitri, Nick Gomez, Mags, Alondra, Slater Morales, Quentin Elizabeth Jones, Matthew with two T's, the first T is silent.

Speaker 1 Ragnar Jensen, Addison Weirdo Wagner, Shua the Druid is composting the rich for a salad bar.

Speaker 1 Araman0305, Lafe is my role model, Jim Weathers, Titus Koslov, Echoes of Acheron, I'm a Kung Fu Panda on the Wind, CB Radio, The Intergalactic House of Cats, Demanda Free Palestine, Electromancer, Chekhov's Space Cannon, Corey Census, Surf and Turf Telecoms, I'm a Jinn, Red and Dusty with His Garden Goddess, Kobe's Dingleberry, Mystic Remy, Ziggy Dreadful, Johnny Texas, G-Wing, Frank One, Figgy Eloishious, and the Ooni Moonies featuring Milo Kappa Kaiju.

Speaker 1 I'm just here to refill the Parmesan cheese.

Speaker 1 It is Sparks, Damn Scrub, Peritoc the Furbald, Lost Girl Lou, Christopher Byram, Middle American Penguin, Shauna Welch, Wonderland Kingdom, Jard Patton, Andy the Celestial Penguin, Messino's Lips, Misty Love Bug, Bo Nunley, Ariana Castillo, Lisa McElhaney, The Rat Sorcerer, Lita Mediger, Marco, Lethargic God, Friend, as in, Your Best, Lime Ghost, M, Jared Armstrong, Jay the Irascible, The Great and Powerful Spatilda, The Magic Committee, Ian Full, The River Otter and their gender-neutral partner, The Haven Chronicles, One Galactic Year with Big Potato 99, aka the Rat Lady, aka Bumblebee, aka aka 47, Kai, just a little guy, Dale Van Hoos, Ender Wright, Mark Nazawaritz, Ex Genia, The Capturer of Light, Muckle Wang, Duncan Albert, Theoretical Chemist, Xavier Dasher, Chris Loves to Read, Katie Machalek, Greg Andrews Lyons, Just Matt 85, Patrick G, Gracie Joe Sheeran, Magnus von Kaffenheim, Ferocious Little Beast, Longtime Lurker, Scooter, The Unlucky Son, Jennifer Myers, a chef named JJ wants to apply to be Gloria's new line cook, Anaz, Lord of Stories, Donny Darko, aka Darko the Destroyer, Tom Shin, Caitlin and C.T.'s Neverending Podcast Adventures, Whisperdan, Alexis Walker, Keo the Puppy Panda Forklift Operator, Charity and Ruby, Nick Faye, Julie and her man servant, Olin, Justin and Amy Triplett, Jen Sims, Ring to the Motas, The Leathermans, Lukewarm Fart, Odd Commodity, Jen Before, Ander Ho, Annabelle Leonard, Owner of Muffin Madness Cafe, Earthwitch, Leah Prime, Gregory Sentoro, Mothmall, Not the Fucky Fried Chicken, Robert Drapeza, Lawrence McCoy Phelan, Iono, Caitlin Hoagland, Jonathan Tolbert, Mr.PutItOn06, Hedgehog Hen, Jackson Bell, Katie Chambers, Jay the Podcast Lover, Dick Rickles, Chapter President, Damn glad to meet you, Malcolm Flynn, Ezekiel Lansdowne, Samuel Lee, Aria Fiora, Josetron Prime.

Speaker 1 Oh my god, I forgot to change my name from Nicholas Beckler to something more cheeky and fun.

Speaker 1 Arwen the Freer, Throat Goat666, I Am Your Father, Addie Slawson, Inconceivable Kai, Nick Waycaster, Gotham Still Fucked Up, Batman Really Ain't Doin' Shit When You Think About It.

Speaker 1 No Good Monk, Sarmed Syed, Pugalicious Freshington III, Esquire, PB and Jamesy, Jonald Grimbus, Tasmanik starting to shift at six, Matt Knight Boo Shager, Gavin Maury, Andromeda, Steven the Choi, Gabriel, The Treasure Trove of Troublesome Souls, Cookie Nebu, Axel Zapata, Orianda, Bean Dino, Philip Lennick, Hugh Jass, J2, Brian Montgomery, Artemis Record, Safa Aluzi, Trev Brax, Gunnar Tweedy, The Bard Without a Ballad or Mallet, Nazo, Platform Jail Mechanism, Burn Museum Theorist, Hold Please, Kay Kayao, Empress Squishy Face of Greater Catopia, Anna Garcia, Goblin King, Rays of Nope, Ruby Booth, Bubberduckle, Yaegor Loose, Terry Kaz, Leaf Trax, The Rise of Lafay Chapter 1, Loaf Trax Retires, Tari and Roundtree, Catalyst for Chaos, Sculliver, Cat Lucido, Sam and Shane, Ahsoka Likes Hugs, Caitlin Hess, V, Gorgon Lightfoot, Ma Dukes, U.S.

Speaker 1 Marshal Stacey, Ooh, Chickadee, Terran of the Guild of Free Cartographers, Sweet Chaos 7, Dango Dale, Estee, not the website.

Speaker 1 At every moment, in every corner of every possible world, there is always a way home, and it's already found you.

Speaker 1 Joe Paulo Lamos, Deshane, Tanya Fisher, Appalachian Death Queen, Anya Tiepelt, Zosifer, Doggo of Doom, Zachary DeFeo, Kevin Winans, Marlon C., Madame Perry, Cherish Hellfire, Mistress of Time and Space, Lycan Lady, Midnight Club, Cameron Agnesy West, Knox, Lisa Liu, Emin Hale, The Triad's Baddest Goblin, Emery and Lano, James Miles, Browncoats Love the Diner, House of Chaos and the Critter Cacophony, Max and Nia and Ivon's Six, Seven?

Speaker 1 Nope, it's Mark.

Speaker 1 Mignon Simone Minnie Davis, Misty Dawn Mitchell Jr., Gaia Turtle, Wayne Barrahona, Jesse the Dragon Rider, We Will Not Rest Until Puerto Rico and Palestine Are Free, Kaylee Heights, Radio Ghoul, Nissy's Mom, Poke Splork, Whiskey Rebellion and Gin Riots Interdimensional Detective Agency, Zephyr Vitriol, Altrion, Slim Nandy, Gother Leaf, William Lemoyne, Jen and Britt, Adriana Bartolomucci, Jonah is Gay, The Midnight Ashes, Hornetti, Hood's Pocket Protector, Unpaid Intern that can't barely afford the $10 a month, but fuck it, you guys earned it, Valkyrie Storm, Patricia who's always late but somehow on time, DC Squirrel, Ryan, Honey Cooper, Kyle the Interstellar Highwayman, Shelly Act on the Verge, Gail Friend, Bang, Bang, Bang, Baby, Potakos, Rubber Cake, Clover the Clown, The Sparky Tech, Prop the Crocigator, Dakota L, Jazz Punker, Captain Tightpants and the Companion, Kentucky Cried Frickin', Renee N, Katarina de la Playa, R.I.P.

Speaker 1 Eloise Waffles, The Floof Wrangler, Aki the Space Druid, Phantom Land TTRPG Dice, K-8 the Curiouser, Moxie, a Blacksmith, Ash Montgomery, Little Birch and Her Beaches, Jason Hvac Tech for the Diner's Deep Freeze, Aaron James Tyrone Barlow, the first of his name, SK Phoenix, Glitch the Gamer Error, Zephyr Foxworth, Ted Ted and Teddy, Merryface, Luon Cherry, Peppermint Pearl, the The Interdimensional Space and Tea Time Witch, Nicole 6-4, Amara Salazar, Banjo Buscalo, Full Beans, Glorious Forgotten Ford Festiva, Brandon Wright, Night Breakfast at the Midnight Cauldron, Force for Good-ish, Mark Scott, Rosie Bum, The Judah, Intergalactic Fry Lord, Gravity is optional, but fries aren't.

Speaker 1 Max Powers, Angel Vasquez, Stephen Raymer, J.

Speaker 1 Carp Fishman, Mistress Roxy Mornette, The Great Gablino, Low Oxygen, Save the Mungos, Nye, Lilac Morcella, Rachel Krempa, with special thanks to my best friend Lizzie and my husband Steve.

Speaker 1 Don't worry about the order, honey. Your Majesty, Temporal Hash Brown, Diane Brown, Captain No Sleep, The Slim Reaper, Ruben Eden, Smedley P.
Snodgrass III, but please.

Speaker 1 Call me Smeddy, the Shreveport Bohannans, CC the Umbrella Mage, Bradbury Sasquatch, Loads Chekhov's Gun, Din, Cosmic Ketchup, Lack of Lifestyle, August the Schmogust, and Haasfest, Ashley Davis, Mousy, Joe, that one really hurt, how dare you?

Speaker 1 Postmaster General Kwan sent me.

Speaker 1 Blake Basmajian, KnitWit14, Royal WAY Too Harshly, DJ Johnny B, Voluptuous Doug, Marco Montano, A Gnat Named Bug, Shiny Fields, Adam Tachek, Christopher Wendell, Nelly Furtako, Unproductive Banana, Pulsifer the Paulist of Paulism, Zombie Spider-Man, The Sorcerer Sanguine, and The Pretty One with the Face, Bex823, Auntie Cryptid, Barry Heap, Gas Mask Penguin, August, Like the Month, Mime Ninjas Ninja Mime, Master Ugwe, Barry, Dillia's Dallying, Podcast Junkie, Futile Screaming at the Ocean, Fox Hatlin, Dylan Carone, Pedro, Vibristo, Penny Sparkles, Slider, Dimitri, Julian Rhodes, Maple Emily, the gayest library janitor in Indiana, Jennifer Ray Page, Scout Mistress and her phalanx of intergalactic Eagle Scouts, TED Talks says to the unpaid feds, Stay strong, Vapus10's big black gaping hole, Gubrious, you know, like lugubrious but without the loo.

Speaker 1 Bruce, Jessica Gaiogamma, Cabernet Corsair, Toricle, Ginny the Bear, Grr. Bellringer, Serdine Thorne, Treach, Josie Jones, Mr.
Flibble is very cross, Hote Potato, Dr.

Speaker 1 Mojo Tinker Gestalt, Blind Time Traveler Convention Date, LA Woman, The Phoenix Rising, New Name, God. No, not him.
Jeff Andrew, sure, Jeff Andrew.

Speaker 1 Miss Luann, a British woman with cute dogs, cup of noodles, schmizzy two-shoes, Luna Nova, Nicholas Griffith, Matt Grigsby, Justin Smallin, Riku31, Craig Dundee, the name is Knight with a K.

Speaker 1 Astral C, Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too, Witch Loud the Cartoonist, Guy with the Chops, Sam, Bagel Knife, In Melda and Scott, Courtney Cochran, Lily Starling, Ryan K, Nate, Forklift, Lifts Forks for Cliff, Vince M, Brick Brick, Chip, Radio Free Relia, Violin Loves Midi, Brian Pastley, Subawasa, Grena, Piston Whip, Captain Ducky, Blitz Bell, Retro Dagwood.

Speaker 1 Our overhead is way too high with all these names, and please make sure to turn in all your receipts. Love Josh from Accounting.
Satsuma, Silliest Goose, Dr. Jones, Verge on a Vacation.

Speaker 1 Coach Shane of Toad Sucks Central, Go Cranes. Cole Arthur, Lego Croissant.
Cassad, Norwin Murgler.

Speaker 1 The Starset Messengers want to know if you've written that four-page essay on why you don't think about bugs. Joe Cup-up.
Oh, we better chop and broccoli.

Speaker 1 Kyle, the hacker knows.

Speaker 1 as Ivy DeBerb, Edwin McDonald, a feisty-ass chickadee, poultry landmine, the scrappy poet, Jenny the Crypted Paladin, Maverick Artist, shit, it was a mimic, Basil in their tea, waiting to gossip with David, Ainsley, yay, yay, yay, yay, Angnor, ATB, Kiwi Lovelybead, Zoe, Professor Freyda, Michelle Spurgeon, Jack the Sleepy, Garrett Henderson Two, Two Bunts Trapped, Praying to the Freezer, Its Only Answer, Parmesan, God is Gouda, Son of Defarge, Whisko Teach, Scott A.

Speaker 1 Snellgrove, Give Peas a Chance, Casper's Cult, Sama Lama Dang Dong, Sarah, That's It, Just Sarah, Ricardo Galamba, Kari's Crafty Cloaking Devices, LLC, Hashtag We Weave Em of Gossamer, Swither and Sister, Deeringer, Penny the Wonder Dog, and Bucky Von Buckbuck, Kintex Iridian, Cherry Appleby, Medium Rare Extra Toasted Bun, Saucy Caesar, Belt, Aspen is a Verge fanboy, Mick J67, Ava's favorite My Little Pony Pencil says, Get your mammogram?

Speaker 1 Is this thing recording?

Speaker 1 Representative of the Alaska Midnight Burger Tummy Time Chapter, Nathaniel Lee Industries, Lord Entropy, Bach Bach, motherfucker, everybody's favorite clown, Splotchy, Pinstrike Algorithm, Kosher Steak, Gabriel Strife, Alyssa's Shiny Pants, Gondor Calls for Aid, Muscles Fatites, Alan Berglund says, Hi, Mom, Kitty McSkull, Raven Stromdans, Hapless Novelist Passenger of the Dimensionally Impermanent and Temporally Incontinent Bookshop Cafe, The Wild-Eyed Prophet, Tessa Craig, Perfectly Personalized Disaster, Richard Schofeld, Jim Turner, Lux Luminos, Javi De Niro, Big Chunk, Goodeeds.

Speaker 1 I named my puppy Supreme Captain Queen Brunhilda Ganesha Maple Venture Salterine Mud Sox D. Sparks.
Boom Boom's Wooden Leg. Will the real moi deebe please stand up?

Speaker 1 Kitty Cat and Lollipup can't get enough of this. Udon 96.
Benjamin, not Franklin. Tracy Baby, Leia.
Is that the Chris Hancock who traded weekly soup for the use of my kitchen table?

Speaker 1 A singular nightbird. I am the lizard frantically firing flachette guns.
Bumblefey, Mr.

Speaker 1 Epsilon, the Mothman, Long-Haired Matt, DJ, Lenny Harris, Robert W., Brilzebub, Krezimira, Jessa Lorin, Mayday Hoops, The Bean Wizard, Myth and Stitch Embroidery Loves the Mucklewains, Lulu Louise, Dulio, The Brew Crew Family, Burt Ruba, your most benevolent lord and master of the multiverse, Jeffrey George, Exquisite Whimsy, Ellie, Don't Tariff Me, Bro, Oopsie, Evelyn, The Wizard Mooses holds out their cat for you to pet.

Speaker 1 Grimlore, Existential Pancakes, Jenny Waboom, Errant Popsicle Stick, M.

Speaker 1 Horowitz, Isle of Refuge, Cappy, Jack Spider's Bomb, LlamaFresh, Jare the Benevolent Destroyer, Valtiel Heller, Revan the Red Beard Wizard, Burt Burt and the Funky Bunch, Corora the 12th, Shh,

Speaker 1 just listen, Damian Fletterjohn, ZomCon, welcome to the Quan Pound, pen pen, pen, pen, pen, pen, pen. Mr.
Muchacho Kaiserschnitzel is bringing an anchovy pizza to Lars on Omega Station.

Speaker 1 Julie Hammond, Sanctuary Moon's number two fans, Simpson, Jason, Alice Lewis, Simply Amy Sue, even older Liz, Mr.

Speaker 1 Bearcat, Grack Pinfeather, Siddikin Druidic Scientist, Astro, your friendly neighborhood android, Moonlight Zombie Fox, old Doc Racy, the midnight missionary, out there somewhere looking for you, Rotten Ronnie sleeps in grandma panties, JS, Eldritch Ender, Skolunky,

Speaker 1 Artist Dragonborn, Big Big Garage, Shaloma, Bill Zangana Lester, Joaquin Jimenez. Hello, Big List, I'm Dad.
Now let Joe get some rest. It's time for bed.
Muffins. Spacewives.

Speaker 1 Captain Jack Harkness wants Peter the Robot. Oreo? Oreo, no wait, pineapple, actually, never mind, Oreo, Banana Manaz, a corky cold kibble, Cuddy Kraken, Life's Aload Studio, and his wife Mega Nader.

Speaker 1 The game, Axolite, Sarge the Bard, Seminity, Rialfan, LL Cool Mint Jams, Travis Roberticus, The Other Original Caitlin, Ken Daddy, Celestiani, Hazel the Jaded Umbra pulls out a marker and approaches Sign My Shovel to sign Sign My Shovel Shovel, Leia Aizati, Millie Was Taken, Hannes, Ben Camp, Shanman Manman, Karma Karma Chameleon, Kinran, Wabajack, Zoe and Her Army of Mice, Briar Long Lost, Daniel, Sammy the Baby Seal, I Have Always Relied on the Kindness of Diners, Dr.

Speaker 1 Bootiologist the Glutes Doctor, The Hoods Pocket Pants Darts League reminds all players that clean underwear is required. Tobias Ewing, thank you for pressing too.

Speaker 1 Your Anglophone Emotional Support Canadian request will be processed in the order in which it was received. Queen Surly Jess, R.I.P.
Lance McClain, You Would Have Have Loved Midnight Burger.

Speaker 1 Adam Toque Love, Dr. Bitchcraft, Sassy Cat the Space Vixen, Claire Rock, Eros to God, the size 2 Fish You've Been Looking For.

Speaker 1 Iokai, Borgia, Natasha Without Boris, Spiders Are Cuddly, Lafayette Lasagna Lovers 1, Maine Immortal Billy Rose that has all the corn dogs, Cheel, Neil, Sin City Scuba Steve, Pollywog, Jinx the Cat would like to offer you biscuits, Michaela White, Elena Pickle, Rachel Vasquez, the beloved yet borderline inappropriate empire of Dr.

Speaker 1 Thunderbutt and Lady Christabel, Britt Littlefair, Michelle Myers, Glenn Morris, Lizard Lee, Rosemary Prem, Anthony Lakey, Brett Zimmerman, Lauren Benner, Stephanie Buch, Luca Vecchito, Boots Gooden Dave, Michelle Hopper, Jessica Engela, Kevin Daughtry, Meredith Jester, Martin Deers, Entropy Eigenbasis, Robert Savat, Drink Spiller, Richard Ryan Moschel, D.

Speaker 1 Flower, Fall of the Berlin Wallaby, Lauren Mayer, Jake the Cook, Some Days You're the Beetle, Some Days You're the Dung, V.

Speaker 1 Greenlee, Elijah Sharp, Dan Gentry, Ron Hayden, Fridge Pickle, Jacqueline Snyder. I hope something good happens to you today.
Yes, you. Professor Thaddeus Snookums VIII.
Mr. Grin, Glenn Petrofsky.

Speaker 1 This moment of silence, so Joe can catch his breath, is brought to you by Rick Tyler. Deep breath.
Elizabeth Hammond, cheapcon. Yeah, you heard me.
The real cheap con. Except no imitations.

Speaker 1 Funch Brunglen, Steam Vision, Conductor of the Interdimensional Time-Spanning Hype Train. Dave Harold, WiseCube, Dirty Diaper Fussbutt, and the Piggy Runt.
Bromine, pronounced Bro, Mine.

Speaker 1 Main Humdinga. Mother of Pearl.
Fiona now owns Leaf's 18-inch Peter.

Speaker 1 Sealface, Rigger Mortise, Megan's Things, Things Megan Makes, Shiny Fields, Magical Maggie, Trebek's Reject, Prophet of the God of the Mucklewains, Laif Loves Laser Guns Left Lying Lackadaisically by Labooza, Igneous Burp, Darth Ox.

Speaker 1 This brief pause is brought to you by Michelle K's wish for Joe to catch his breath. Aaron Arnold, Mamamander B.
Ross and Sluntmaster J. Could I interest you in a Komquat-flavored squirt?

Speaker 1 Elliot Paints, Undead Akira, Broom Goddess, The Lord Reverend, Progatos Pex, Unselling Wizard, Ryan, Thomas's 10 Tanabris Tan Staffle Tippers treading treacherously tantamount to telling totalitarian trope termination tales.

Speaker 1 Ladies, for your pleasure, Chuck Naked, the lovely Lara Lovely, Kith Gamgee, Sam Wise's Flamin' Cousin, Dariel, Jeremy the Ruler, Goatji, Hair Hawks, Jacob Mitchell, Swooning for Verge, Zeke in the Box, Stevie Crowhill, How to Get Jack from John, Flesh Witch, Scrubs, Just some guy from Adelaide named Ryan, Remy, the Panda Crew, Melody Prime, Beardo the Wizard, Captain Benjamin Hawkeye Pierce, the German short-hair pointer from Nashville, wants to tell his mom Maddie that he says woof.

Speaker 1 Whiskered, Marissa the Ghost, local snowplows in your area are dying to meet you. Rutherford B.

Speaker 1 Chesterfield and his dapper companion Winchester, Cheshire Corgi, Stray Cat, Ole Kelsey No Shoes, Zeldia, Dizzy Flame, Time Flies Like an Arrow, Fruit Flies Like a Banana, Sasha, Beth and Allen Van Gillis, Langston North, Sly Fox, aka Brayer Rabbit, Panstarts Champion, The Constantly Lost Geographer, Timothy Aotis, Chance wants you to know he cares.

Speaker 1 Wolfstark, Adrian Vance, Elliot, Hobbs DeCoe, Natalie Bartlett, Rory of Yin, Mubi the Golden Calf, Giovanni Salinas, Rocky G, Perry the Pirate, Aaron Elizabeth, K-Narcotics, Solomon Price, A Daydream of Better Days and Bright Futures, Angela Sanchez, Bubba485, aka Schimmelbach the Christmas Whale, Kaiju Sommelier, Stella Corvus, Jesus Garcia, JP the IT Guy, Candyman Fight, John Peters, you know, the farmer, Barkley on the Holodeck, Dapper Dad, SCP-049, O Magis, Raven the Dreamer, TK Turtle King, Mike M, Space-Based Lasers, Caption B and Lady G with their swabs, Marla Madam Lotus still especially loves Finley, Lady Folly, Canadian Waitress, Mr.

Speaker 1 Steamwave, my friend the rhino says be nice.

Speaker 1 Dream Founder, Amya Huckleberry, Elizabeth T, Ty Ty the Wonder Hamster, and her dear darling Duke, Gus, Travis Naeve, Coco Yumi is painting ponies, Huggamuffin, Bigfoot of Doom, D.L., Annie Atkins, Crandyman the Pug Whisperer, Garrow, Are Cats Said to Tale You, Meow, Bag of Oats, Benjamin Ortiz, Happy Birthday, Alyssa, Pop Rock Quicksand, The Benny Yapper, Ayina Bav, Abanaso, Trina Ward, Ada, Spooky Spader Storytime, William Kent, Andy, The McJimmies from Your Local Dimension, Xavier Killingsworth, Reformed Colonel Reb, Memetic Hygienist, Rogue Art, Aaron Star Joshua Damien, and Sentinel of the Star System, Claude DeClaus, Spunky Dan, Rachel Seymour, Chess Alfred, the Bullheaded Professor, Ed Boy, Ryan Finelli, Jonathan Kay, Burt, Bert, Bert, Bert, Bert, Bert, Bert, Bert, Bert, Bert, Bert, Bert, Bert, Bert, Another Monster, Petabyte Avatar, Tugwin the Mighty, Project Octopus, Ken, Chibs1012, Birotron 95, Dan's granted clemency by his overlord parents, Dance Break,

Speaker 1 Speaku, the Bracken system and its home world wren, simply Tony, Gabrielle Castellon, Nico DeGaio goes great on midnight burgers, a drum major and a trapeze artist walk into Connie's bar, Sir Party Animal, Uloy Jackal, Must Be a Witch, Cat with a K, Miss Shan Frizzle, Squirrels All the Way Oop, Stumpenstein El Mustachio, Lucifer Hezekiah, Lachiwawa Brava, Adeline Pete's, Cece Carousel, Korth the Destroyer, Honest Puck, Casper's Mom's a Milf, Scout and Fox Glove says the floor is lava, Kurdomsky, Craig Armstrong, Plastic Fork, Dulcet DeLeche, Get Out of My Booth, Bug, Propagator, I Hardly Know Her, Sad Angry Crab Man, Chuck McFinley, Hazel Hayes, Velocity Girl42, Little Dragon in a Cauldron of Bats, Ben Carlisle, Flat Steve's Love for Grand Theft, Anna Kearney, Crashly Strange Lilia, The Four Schnauzers of the Apocalypse, Septi and Asha, not Sasha, have the hots for the Mucklewains and would gladly be their unicorns.

Speaker 1 Starblaze Burnbright, Imzukioki, Spotted Rhino and her hand-me-down frogs, Red Mafia Panda, Lonely Isle, Kai Dallow Headphones, Hinkle, Pikeman Stover, Fondella Stover, Pikeman Stover's wife, Alexander the Boss, Scrizzles, Fwap,

Speaker 1 The Firekeeper, The End is Nigh!

Speaker 1 Jeremiah the Cancelled, Librarian Alex, Spike and Faye, Johnny Allen West and the Boys from the Dwarf, Speedy McSpeedy, Wolf, Brandy Gunter, Auntie Becky is now owned by five rescue cats, Fermi's Paradoxans, Speckled Unicorn, Jedi Rides Again with Nova the Space Pirate, Tevin Longblade Shortsword, Impatiently Waiting for the TARDIS, Forget Normal, Oh, damn!

Speaker 1 CJ Johnson, a dragon sitting on its hoard of dice, Wendell Whitaker, Fikachu, Smivey, Globed Roulette, Andrew Fuller, Danon Deb, Bon Mi Hung, The Soup Witch, Bender FTW, Fetuscini Alfredo, Amalgamous Pax, Pebbles, V V, Effie Rowlings, Megan Hazen, Philip Your Dad is Not Your Dad, Nick Borough, Midnight Plumber, His Royal Highness Mr.

Speaker 1 Hamilton Underfoot, Kitty the First and Accomplice, Princess Penelope the Marchioness of Mischief and Maven of Mystery, Megan Gentry, Mr.

Speaker 1 Cherry, Our Ass is in the Jackpot, Tubby Teddy, Wayne Heiser, India Inkblot, Slev of Bahamut, Omi Gracie, Dalton Jenkins, Cat Holtz, The True Mega Mike, Frank and George, The Watt Weekly Media Database, Ava Maddox Jr., Liza Wirth, Cass Williams, Christie, Yeet Maboy, 46 Toolshed 2, and El Marie Catastrophe, The Image Collector, Blended Music, Sitting Squirrel, Patricia E.

Speaker 1 Melt Missed Everyone, A Round of Yargs on the House, Red the Gray, The Silver Crow, Couch Potato Alex, Neverchild, Dr.

Speaker 1 Nassos, Interdimensional Biologist, Kiboko Du Nord, Lil Kev, Kozamine, Theodrax, Joey B., Lucas Barding, DJK DJK, Taryn says, hey, Oreo's our rabbit.

Speaker 1 Sandalwood Mountain is an odd way to refer to Hawaii, but it worked for Henry. Whimsical fuckery, Megan with an H.
Hey, it's me again, warranty, lady. What happened to us?

Speaker 1 You never returned my calls anymore. Did we lose our spark? Patricia the Time Lord.
Is it though? Mango Connoisseur, Britty Bug, and the Quirky Jester. The Big Moose demands justice for Betty.

Speaker 1 Glory Cole, Janelle Miaonet's Cat Butler, O'Shin Liu, Alex Berry, Andrew Oakden, Asymmetrical Exile, Churo the Cat, the Sun God, Alex Spence, Dr. D.
Birdclaw Spweather, and Mrs.

Speaker 1 Dubop Duway Birdclaw Spweather want to say hello to the whole Spweather family.

Speaker 1 Galaxy Britches, Angry Ron, Dominus Caesar, Durka Dub, Gloria's ex-girlfriend, Kelly Clickspring, The Wild Thistle, most likely Cass. James Harlow has decided he's ready to see the claw.

Speaker 1 I'm Not Joe's Dad, Jasmine James, Dr. Caborant, also known as Omni, thanks Waffle Chateau.

Speaker 1 Colorado Beekeeper, Fruit Cake, Anatha, Zandria, Jennifer Culkins, Guacamolio, Midday Burger, Don Parks, Throat Goat666, Princess Leia, Prime Freak, Protector of the Scottish Realm, Little Lord Stevie Pie, Droid Pirate Finlay and his Rubinesque Parrot, Droid Pirate Finley and his Rubinesque Parrot.

Speaker 1 Stuck in a pit of Skittles, Drunken Coyote, Deflator Mouse, Tony Piakarsky, Adrian R., The Devil from Table 12, Javier, Crazy Thadley, The Harbinger Pulsar, Cremulous is just happy to be here.

Speaker 1 The Twisted Twixter, The Rural Juror, is a massive fan. Fake Queen, Upshnart, the Probability Demolition Expert, Showtime, CR Iptid, For My Mother, Homer, Are We Doing Crimes?

Speaker 1 CCTX Girl6823 waiting on the diner. Nicole Studioso.
Sign my shovel. K the Flying Penguin says honk honk to all the geese out there.
Truck stop sandwich. Indigo wo wo.
Escar go wo wo wo.

Speaker 1 Love my captain, Joe Mauma, Castriff, Retro MG, Night Script, The Gainesville Fear Garden. I like Lana Bananas because they have no bones.

Speaker 1 Utred and Rose's Viking Void Vitals fueling the intergalactic fight against fascism. Not sure what I'm doing.

Speaker 1 Leah Rose, River Brown, Senor Deuce, Scullisy, Warped Ryder, Tim Nacy, Ruben Klamso, Terwin, Hugh the Mini Mungo, Morgan Brockman, Sylvie, Glennis Thompson, Dustin Watson, Betty White813, Randy Supreme, and Queen Lancaster, The One True Cheap Con, Starscribe, Lucien Thunderstruck.

Speaker 1 Oh, Mamama. Doozer sees your onlyness Morissette and wants to raise you a Florida State seminal vesicles.

Speaker 1 The other Adele, Chef Gal Val, Leah Hall, Sarah May, Cone of Silent Consultants, LLC, needs fresh towels in room three at the horizon.

Speaker 1 Silly Willie Bubblebutt, Sierra Nutt from Arkansas, Zico, Ebenezer Boob, Caleb Tumiala, Jason Woods, Arnie Arbuckle Esquire, Digital Flouf Lost in Time, Potion Maestro, Nebula Nell, Regulators Mount Up, Kringle Over Coffee, Mad Yogi Eileen, A Cat Named M, Potito Pato, Palace, Ethan Cobb, Big Moe, I am Annie, I live forever in every moment I've existed.

Speaker 1 I swear to every star in the cosmos, I never forgot it was a gift. The Stone Fox, Tricia Schaefer, Solivia, Juiciton, Papitos, Boomhauer, you can call me Boom.
I'm an onomonopoeia.

Speaker 1 Jennifer Baumer, Ninja Grimm Reaper. Prove to me that orange cats aren't gods.
Britwards. Hotshot Huntley, Momo's Mama, Hold My Yarg, Ivy Paisley, Toast, Sue Watts, Myrtle.

Speaker 1 Caitlin, Leader of the Unicorn Revolution, Transdimensional Delivery Man, Matlock, Lord of the 13th Sea, Mr.

Speaker 1 Triggvy, Printing with Cats, Khaleesi Del Marr, Dixie Dinah, River Waters, Coppercoin the Dumpster Wizard, 7,000 Possums, Sarah Jack Sparrow, Space Pony, Revibe, Debbie E., Emma, Mr. and Mrs.

Speaker 1 Ooh, Dusty Ventures, Ronnie Porter, Gloria's Line Cook, Eagle Rock Lobster, The Gabbyist Painter, and her bird of fire, Wandering Wenjo, Painted Oni, Q Dell, Pharrell, Emily with Two E's, Spaceman Nathan, Ramsey's Niblick III, Kerplunk, Kerplunk, Whoops, Where's My Thribble?

Speaker 1 Mad Goat, Jackie Wavelet, Yeoi Gagarin, Issa the Straga, D.

Speaker 1 Greitzler, A Gremlin with the Munchies, Michelle Scorakio, Genuine Jacob, Andy's Brain is Weird, Space Rooster Randy, Leopard Donut, Poofy Thang, Mellow Nuggets, Keychain Crap, Matt Matt Sharkman, Steelo, Arcadia, Bumbling Lily Bee, Buffy's Daughter, A Quick Baz So Joe can sip from his tiny teacup.

Speaker 1 Delicious.

Speaker 1 Bufar D's Nuts, Panda, Curtis Lelig, Kennedy Allison Farner, Tristan Stoles, Dalen Y, Shadow Rapture, Yet Another Nicole, Hank the Wonderlama, R-Craft, Russell, Zephyrus Wind, the Ornamental Hermit, Just a Regular Fox, Jeremy Impson, What the Hell?

Speaker 1 Cineplex, and all the black people in North Carolina.

Speaker 1 Just Rachel, Danger Girl, Atlas Bear, Patty the Ginger, Ava Cigarette Ash, Boisenberry, aka the Boys, A, Zeus, Anaphylaxis, Scav with Comtax, The Shapeshifting Sad Girl, and her girlfriend say, Joe, you've done it again.

Speaker 1 Sarah Nicole, the Kells, Cat Ah,

Speaker 1 Lena, Angry Lee's Lasersaw, Magnus Arrowchill, Amy Perry, Christopher Kai, Source Decay, Skexis, Randy Zamigo, Gremlock, Katie Mermaid, and the Delinquent Duo, Norman, Nicole, Victor Schauberger, reincarnated as White Mountain Hill Billy Glitter Cupcake, Max Dangers, Security Chief Shatzi, The Anxious Peach, Team Michelle and Billy, Nayanix Reno, Frankentener, Nordalbash, Jordan, Rwinx Belasco, Ryan Rosinski, Average Height, Medium Rage,

Speaker 1 Audio Monkey, Joe, Team Hefeweisen, Monica and Mason K, Rowan, Lady of the Black and Herald of the Stars, Pistachio Inc., Arianne Kent Manage Normal, Ryan Burnett, The Joyful Nihilist, The Timid Ghost 23, Dr.

Speaker 1 Dr. B, Zoprez, and the Bumble Army, growing into my farm boots.
Super Beth becomes an RN alongside my bootstuff farm friend.

Speaker 1 Geneva Boss, Brothers of the Cosine, Uncivil Gnomes, The Rat Queen Evelyn, Great Lunch Conversation, The Other Scott, Letty Lou. He was a shifty one, that Nick Howard.
Kinger was here.

Speaker 1 A Baba Ray Winland Jr. Bebopbidba Doo Wop.
Warped Echoes. Slabs McTurps.
Lord Robert Otardis. He's bigger on the inside.
Jeremiah Franco. Justin.
The Nick of Time. Gothic Rainbow.
So We Made It.

Speaker 1 Cody McClure. McHadley.
Eternal Companion. Jingalos.
Has Matilda. Ditzy Bay.
Just Your Average Reese. Kyle Church.
I Am a Lafe on the Wind. Static Ego.
Some fucking Swamp Wizard. Lolly.
Evan M.

Speaker 1 Dobson. Dave B.
Sean C. How Did I Get Here? Oh God, Is That The Soup? Going to Be Lit.
I Am Shaggy. Wayne Hall.
Danny Mars. Eternally.

Speaker 1 screaming. Skebo and Fuzzle McBumpernits.
Neelix Tiny Wolf. Asher the Raven.
Christina Sennett is teleporting. BRB.

Speaker 1 Where the Shane's at? Definitely not an android. Seriously, I'm not.

Speaker 1 The Wandering Welshman, whatever Tabby, Carolyn Harper, Nikolai Tolkachev, Capo the Sartorius, Z3DT, Shy Sparrows, BLTN, The Kiwi Duckling, Dad and Aubrey, the Dirt Bike Demons, Tequila Mockingbird, Snuffle Up A Goose, Damarin the Space Goblin, Iso Pale, Oh no, a B.

Speaker 1 I am Lord Zoltan, hear me roar! Pocket Ghost Max, Mags the Conqueror, Wes and Heather wonder if Derek Adair will join. My cat's name is Beef.

Speaker 1 Eric, Katie Kate, get your colonoscopy, Victor Cassados, Emily Shmemily, Work for Melvis, Bo Hogo, Bye-bye for Jojo Pogo, that's a no-go, bro.

Speaker 1 Cody Monster, Collided Mind, Miss Nixie, Baby Bate and Lee, Charlie Rudle, Kyle Perino, AK, Sid the Sloth on a Bike, Priya Gandhi.

Speaker 1 The Wandering Mermaid would like you to know that the Little Mermaid and the Creature from the Black Lagoon are the same exact story.

Speaker 1 Lil Stevie Pie, Two Polar Cat, aka Lafe that one time is waiting for a spaceship to take them to space.

Speaker 1 Carl, the teller of dad jokes, Skylab's multidimensional, multiphasic intergalactic quantum cyberverse, Verde Sol, Galen Miller, Tess, Geriatric Young'un, Mystic Hippie, Unforkable, Daniel Nitz, Mavis Bacons, Pyro's Calling, Joe Suasian, Banjo Cat, Too Many Jans, Catshot, Pamela Rose Eltiera, Then Stina Says, Thud Tweed, Enigmatic Catbird, Countess of Carbon, Slappy the Squirrel's Ted Slapping Rampage, Luminous Elk, Rodian Caution, Love Us for the Nierds, Taz Hernandez, Captain Crash and the Surviving Crew, Casper needs all the hugs, but Joe needs an O2 tank.

Speaker 1 Joe is the rider's room, Awkward Heretic, Devin7777, Troy Acre, Mandy Kane, Northerly K, Kim Cell, Silly Goose, Honk Honk, Admatha, Astro Unit, Ghost Saber Wolf, The Sleepy Mystic, Sarah Joy, Tators Precious, Teddy of the Wasteland, It's Just Steve, Sweets Martinez, Char Noble 610, Mere Tender Creatures, Amanda Short, Chut, Brimble, Deidre, Mike Whiskey and Your Friend Frosty, No Saguaro, Ben Barr, Stand Clear of the Closing Doors, Please, Beastly Death, Zven the Unlikely, Cognito Hazard Expunged, Ted Wasanasen, Virestria, Theosis the Theologianish, Spoomples, Nicole, I Love You, but I Will Name Kid 2 Brathar, Fernwood Gal, Nelly G, Twinkle Tots, Gemini Sky, Phantoms Moms, Callison, Hornswagglin, Daniel Arthur, Mike Laclusi, It's a, it's a fucking dog rapture, Abigail Lahou, King Humble, We'd Better Ask Dave, Wind Chimes for Safety, Cameron Winterborne Welsh, Fireball XL5, Mackenzie Duna, Alexika Habaniera, Code Stranger, One Baty Bet,

Speaker 1 Matt N, Monad Nick, Frailp, M Lin, Feed Ma Fish, JRR on SFP, Lahari, Ted's Loves Catherine, J Spark, Lucid Harbor, Little Mira Leopard Paws, Diet Knight, Mars Royalty, Take 20 Damage, Maisie's Bandstand, Kimbob, Battle Pope and Bugaboo, Snorts, McGorts, Fresh Squeezed, Patrick Holt, Atlas B, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hold It Now, Hit it, Had it, Hit it, Hot It, Hood It!

Speaker 1 Bradley Ashby, Peter, Megan Okeo, William Dyer, Vicki Abears, Brad Manier, Jane, Hannah Dale, Crystal Delightful, Gruntled, Killshot Betty and her Steel-Eyed Bow, Jackie Lowie, The Little Pigeon, Crazed Bear, Dr.

Speaker 1 Lattice Trash Angel is currently waist deep in a pumpkin pie, Crafty Lizard Quilts, Noble Barrel, Yes, My Brain Is Weird. Thank you.

Speaker 1 Megan the Meg Young, Corey Morose, Russell Bunny, Max Savage, Jenny Wren, Apprehensive Craig, Tim Arenetta, Bacon, Nicole Studioso, Rambo, Chaos Squatcher, That Homeless Guy Who Saw The Diner disappear from Rogers and gave up booze, Lord Than and Lady Sarah, Mary Kirby, Stephanie Sturgis, Kirsten, Hurry Up and Wait, Sarah Farmer and Belladonna, First of Her Name, Criddle, Twilio, Heidelberdy, Tom Webster, Rashmi Vinkatesh, McClump, Azana the Leathersmith, Salazar the Dome, The Bard with the Tuba, Hayward's finest, Garen Elizondo, To My Little.

Speaker 1 You'll always be my good girl. You took a piece of my heart and left a paw print on my soul.
Till we meet again. Sir Shitzalot strikes again, damn animal.

Speaker 1 Ashton James, Elspeth, Skyland, ALR, Sidewalk Jam, Tonka 2005, Cruisin' B.

Speaker 1 Anthony, Trick Once Treats, Stephen Schmidt, Xavier Romo, Alley Frog, Trey the Turquoise Tortoise, Freya Titmittens, Courtney the Frogologist, Corey and Stephanie Say Hello, The Fontucky Wrangler, Scrambrule, Yay, Aaron, The Singing Loon, Zusana, Celeste Yos, I'm So Antigone Fun, Katie and Noah, Hendrix the Stink, The Ambergler, Boodles, Osvaldo Simeoni, Siobhan Delilah Rose, Ashley Chapel Peoples, Ryan Ortega, Barbarian Bloodbath, The Defenestration of Teds, Corrine Sabrantha, Shadow Daddy, Rubius Fuzzlebutt, K-Mack, The Something Something Detective Agency, Hayabuddha, Eli the Electrician, Sonny the Anomaly, Charmay, Kay On with Karma, Amanda Knock, The Wondrous Methazophon, Post-Turtle Evaluation Squad, Hashtag Nissan Acura, Finnegan Robert, Jesse Foster, Samira, Flat Doug, Deary Darling, Ambient Drifting Man 80, Chris Hancock, Nick Hole 23, Gracefully Impaired, Tired Pirate Muffin, Steve King, Laura, Roman Ronin, John Pruitt, Camel Pope, Inschulegan, Cryptesia, Rebecca Trossel, Chris from Tacoma, Mitzi Lou, Kelsey Home, Amanda Marie Kathraine, Damien the Goddamn Time Lawyer, All My Homies Hate Kroc the Propagator, Matt Mosby, Saint Fu, Harry Fishnuts, Joshua Cody, Astronoweeb, Magnos the Civil Gnome, Heidelon Mrs.

Speaker 1 The Warranty Lady's Calls, It's Not the Same Without Her. Starlight, David Piorini, Techno Ranger Rick, Joe's Weez Laugh, Virgo Aries Infinity, Best Buds Danny and M, Charles Q.

Speaker 1 Choi, A Bug Named Nat, Cece Ryder, Hunter B, Rudra, Death the Kid, Big Whiskey, Ulcockinator, Ron was here, Magic Pony, Robert Oliveri, Dan Bowman, Jess Gioya, Paul A.

Speaker 1 Johnson, Killer Odd, Dandy Bay, Creator67, Pajolanth, Laife's One True Love, Mermaid of the Dark Seas, Cosmic Shrub, Incorrigible Ross, Deborah Wales, SCRB Mark11, Maggie's Yarm, Stew, Nth Anomaly, Meghan Mighty, Haunt, Purple Saline, Three Legs Are Perfectly Good, Drew and LA, Anomalous Death to PSL Vandal, The Ice Queen, Captain Blepp, Ryan, Eevee Power, Your Favorite Kenny, Terry, PJ Says What?

Speaker 1 Danielle, Amelia Lucero, Honk Honk, Fear Now doesn't polish the shiny melon. Blargo, Blargo, Blargo, the jazz man.
Tonight at 11, thank God I pre-recorded it.

Speaker 1 Lorak the Barbarioness, Zalas Pragma, Tuba Rick, it's just Blake. Alice Malice asks, How many chains could two chains chain if two chains could chain chains?

Speaker 1 Sircat Dad, Kelly Jane Denkey, Aaron the Optimist, Thomas Stolen, aka Casper from Another Universe, Chadney Ashra, Lucrezia, Thornis, Tamara Oliver, The Real Dirt Fairy, Marissa, Ava, no not that, Ava, the one with an...

Speaker 1 Grim says, Trans rights, y'all, Zaki Nat, Underwater Corvid, Spizzeringtum, Shakes and Bakes, Michael Christian, Ransom, Marun Mai Salil, Grolix and Terobang, Late Indeed Again, Theron Pyralis, Om Vega, Aaron Mitchell, Lady Keanu Meissen, Onyx Rose, Jackie Wavelet, J.R.

Speaker 1 the Hiker Bear, Velocicate, Al Cave, Krusty McBeardface, Maloran, Sweet Michelle, Kara, Colmy Zen, Calibri, Mel Momberg, Rogue, Lisa Geisler, Al-Korsanu Rahib, Farid, Fredberger, What the Chuck, Sono Nasuno, Ben and Jessica, Todd Van Voris, Nea DeRusso, Peachy Zatowichi, Inky the Crack, and Azula the Brave and their ever-faithful squire Grabthar, Jen Extraneous, Trinket Corale, Dancing Dog Dreams, and existentially, Exhausted Bean.

Speaker 1 The Fable and Falling Network, where fiction producers flourish.