518: Mr. Sand Van [ft. Zach Cherry]

Speaker 0 Let me at him.

Speaker 2 Hey, Dad.

Speaker 3 Oh, see?

Speaker 4 Ah, horse at. Come on.

Speaker 5 Come on in. I've got a fresh pot of wardlark.

Speaker 7 Okay, nope.

Speaker 8 No time to catch up. Would love to stay, but I cannot.
Okay, bye-bye. Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.

Speaker 9 Ah, that's a shame.

Speaker 10 Next time. Next time.

Speaker 11 Then go play.

Speaker 12 Well, have fun out there. Knock them dead.
Whatever it is you're doing.

Speaker 6 Thanks, Dad. Come on, Dad.

Speaker 13 All right. Bye, horse hat.
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
Bye. Bye-bye.
Come on, horse hat.

Speaker 14 Horse hat. Wave goodbye.

Speaker 6 Wave goodbye, horse hat. Bye.

Speaker 6 All right, buddy. Dad, we've gotta have some cookies.

Speaker 15 Oh, you want cookies already? Well, let's start with the sandwich, and then maybe we'll have cookies.

Speaker 17 Sorry to interrupt.

Speaker 18 Oh, uh, hi there.

Speaker 17 Let's start with a slice.

Speaker 13 Oh, ah, ah, good ride.

Speaker 13 Why did I do that?

Speaker 17 You're coming with me.

Speaker 11 I don't want to go with you.

Speaker 4 Get away.

Speaker 4 Oh.

Speaker 17 Well, sleep tight.

Speaker 20 Hey, now, just wait a minute, mister.

Speaker 17 Wait, actually, sorry, I do need you to fill this out before I go.

Speaker 6 Oh, well, alright.

Speaker 20 Well, I do have a pen, but it's in my pants.

Speaker 6 In my lower half.

Speaker 20 You know, the one you cut off of me?

Speaker 17 Okay, one sec.

Speaker 22 Okay, thank you.

Speaker 17 There you go.

Speaker 22 Okay, name is Dad.

Speaker 22 Age 173 years.

Speaker 21 Young.

Speaker 22 Uh, sex.

Speaker 23 Yes, please.

Speaker 6 It was just a, yeah.

Speaker 24 Okay, sorry.

Speaker 25 What is this about?

Speaker 17 You know what?

Speaker 26 Ah, whoa, geez. Oh, wow.

Speaker 27 Two slices.

Speaker 17 All right, just sorry. Can you initial this part?

Speaker 6 Oh, come on.

Speaker 29 It is a time of great unease.

Speaker 9 The crew of the Bargerian Jade have finally made it home to their beloved quadrant. But something is different.

Speaker 18 Wrong.

Speaker 9 Now, our intrepid heroes must root out the bad vibes, master the three-sided coin of freshness, and face down foes like they've never imagined on their final

Speaker 13 mission to six.

Speaker 13 So, Bargie.

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 35 Uh, any other surprises? Stowaways? Trapdoors?

Speaker 36 Nope, you know me. I'm an open book.
Honest as the day is dark.

Speaker 38 Bargie, I think what Dar is getting at is we sort of keep finding reasons not to go to Muffladis Secundus, you know?

Speaker 40 We just need to get there.

Speaker 33 How's the flight path looking, Bargie? Good?

Speaker 41 It's fine. Except, of course, today is my book club.

Speaker 26 Your book club, Bargie? No. Oh, is book club too?

Speaker 6 Can you do it remotely?

Speaker 41 No, I'm currently in the middle of it. Little Putt-Putt had something very interesting to say about the stars of.

Speaker 41 I didn't read it.

Speaker 42 Bargie, you didn't read the book. You made us come all the way out here.
You know, we're halfway across the galaxy from the book.

Speaker 2 Oh, come on.

Speaker 41 You know what book club is all about. It's like five minutes of book check, but then we really get down to gossip for five hours.

Speaker 42 Uh, well, actually, I take the literature very seriously.

Speaker 19 So, you know, when I read a book, I try.

Speaker 8 I'm just curious, you know, obviously, I've been really good about not stalking my ex, but

Speaker 25 who knows what he's been up to.

Speaker 8 Hmm?

Speaker 42 Anyone?

Speaker 8 Seriously, if you could just all

Speaker 8 start looking around right now.

Speaker 43 Hey, Crew, should we should we help out? Should we find out what what's going on with

Speaker 45 Jaco?

Speaker 38 You need to look in a mirror, okay?

Speaker 2 Because this is not a good look on you.

Speaker 46 Okay,

Speaker 47 is there a way to turn off the speakers?

Speaker 39 Can we just maybe I'm fine with Bargie doing the book club? I just want I wonder if we can have a moment of look.

Speaker 50 Chatter gets pretty wise.

Speaker 39 She has to pipe the external sound in here.

Speaker 51 Part of it's on us.

Speaker 52 We should have known it was book club.

Speaker 2 That's on us, crew. It's on us.

Speaker 53 Yeah, we share cows.

Speaker 6 Okay, all right.

Speaker 54 Uh, Captain Dar, uh, we have an incoming transmission from

Speaker 55 Dad.

Speaker 13 Whoa, really?

Speaker 33 Put them through right away.

Speaker 2 Absolutely.

Speaker 15 Hey there, Dar.

Speaker 10 Good to see you.

Speaker 6 Dad, why are you...

Speaker 56 Are you in a hospital?

Speaker 37 Well spotted, my dear.

Speaker 24 Yeah, I've been clinically dead for two weeks.

Speaker 13 What's up?

Speaker 2 Dad, are you all right?

Speaker 15 Well, I'm doing a heck of a lot better now.

Speaker 20 But boy, someone really got my number and almost gave me a dirt nap, as they say.

Speaker 48 Tell them that they buried you in three places.

Speaker 6 Oh, Dex missing you in the hospital. Yeah.
That's nice.

Speaker 20 Feeling a lot better now.

Speaker 7 Dad, I'm so, I'm so relieved to hear that.

Speaker 10 Okay, well, it's not all roses and sunshine over here because Horse Hat is missing.

Speaker 19 Wait, took horse hat?

Speaker 26 Oh my god, what Tommy?

Speaker 22 I am so sorry.

Speaker 35 Took horse hat where?

Speaker 5 Another good question. Um, well, he made me sign some forms before he left to sort of confirm that he had sliced me and that he was taking horse hat.
So

Speaker 11 what kind of psychopath makes you sign paperwork after they've cut you in half.

Speaker 58 Well, I think it's pretty obvious.

Speaker 54 Yeah, it's gotta be

Speaker 58 Peter One.

Speaker 38 The most fearsome bounty hunter in the galaxy.

Speaker 51 So is his name Peter 3 or Peter 1?

Speaker 39 Well, his name used to be Peter 3, and now it's Peter 1.

Speaker 38 See, he had a son, and then because of the naming conventions of his bounty hunter guild, his son became Peter 3, and he became Peter 1.

Speaker 3 Classic.

Speaker 11 Well, if you're also informed, where's Horse Hat then?

Speaker 16 Well,

Speaker 16 I don't know.

Speaker 5 So I hope I haven't violated your trust, Dar, by losing your child.

Speaker 38 Whatever, Dad.

Speaker 35 You just get better and we'll get Horse Hat.

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah. I'm getting myself back right now.

Speaker 15 And boy, is this guy gonna get an earful once I do?

Speaker 19 Over and out.

Speaker 2 To the fob room.

Speaker 65 Sorry, what? Oh.

Speaker 13 To the fob room.

Speaker 26 No, AJ, I don't think.

Speaker 46 We gotta find Baby Hoha.

Speaker 2 And there's only one way to find Baby Hoha.

Speaker 66 Am I the only one who forgot about the FOB room?

Speaker 6 As you certainly must remember. No.

Speaker 61 I created a fob room full of tracking fobs for everyone important to me and the rest of the crew.

Speaker 39 AJ, why didn't we use this with Corbelvor weeks ago?

Speaker 54 Or why didn't we use it when we were stuck in the other galaxy?

Speaker 35 Let's not reprimand AJ. Let us find baby Ho-Haw.

Speaker 26 That's a good point. Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 36 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 I'll address these questions.

Speaker 2 Corbelvor is not one, somebody close to us.

Speaker 35 Why are you setting up like it's a press conference?

Speaker 67 Therefore, I would not assign Corbelvor a fob.

Speaker 35 Did you get a podium and a microphone on this short of notice?

Speaker 54 I think he's had those.

Speaker 66 Is that a stowaway whispering an answer into his ear?

Speaker 53 Well, the other galaxy was kind of tricky because I think we were, in scientific terms, very far away, and so I don't think things would have worked there.

Speaker 52 So

Speaker 51 I rest my taste, Your Honor.

Speaker 39 Okay, AJ, just find out where Baby Hoe hides.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 69 Mr. Jay will not be taking any more questions.

Speaker 48 Okay.

Speaker 12 You are you?

Speaker 14 Excuse me?

Speaker 60 I was don't worry.

Speaker 26 Okay,

Speaker 35 this is one of the surprises I was asking about.

Speaker 52 Oh.

Speaker 52 I'm going to show away my publicists.

Speaker 2 What's the big deal?

Speaker 65 Okay. Just weird.

Speaker 41 Hey, can I just say the book club is listening in on this?

Speaker 38 And we are loving it.

Speaker 36 This is Gerama.

Speaker 2 Welcome to the FOB Room.

Speaker 46 Let's see. There's.

Speaker 2 I mean, the FOBs usually work.

Speaker 67 There's.

Speaker 2 The only thing that's a little bit weird is,

Speaker 51 Darg, your FOB is saying that you're thousands of light years away from here, but that's impossible because you're right here.

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 7 and I'm not under investigation right now. What we are trying to find is the child.

Speaker 47 Yes, our child.

Speaker 51 So,

Speaker 47 where is Horse Cat's FOB?

Speaker 61 Here's the FOB.

Speaker 2 Oh, the child.

Speaker 51 Or did you bring up the star map?

Speaker 4 The wonder where I have all where my exes live?

Speaker 4 Don't ask that one.

Speaker 44 No, surely not. Uh, here you go.

Speaker 37 AJ, are you using a star map with the fob?

Speaker 43 Watch, as I

Speaker 2 just kind of shake the fob.

Speaker 26 How does the fob know?

Speaker 25 How does the fob know how to read a star map?

Speaker 3 Get out of here.

Speaker 43 No, I'll take it.

Speaker 46 I'll take this question.

Speaker 39 It's just a hollow projection of the galaxy. How would the fob know that where you're pointing pointing it?

Speaker 2 The fob knows, Papa.

Speaker 2 I mean, listen, I do not understand the technology.

Speaker 6 Get away from the podium.

Speaker 15 Where is horse at?

Speaker 43 Baby Hoha is on that planet.

Speaker 70 Ah, yes. Sand.

Speaker 38 The planet's name is Sand.

Speaker 54 Well, it's actually called Trevlock, but Sand is sort of a colloquialism for it because it's all desert.

Speaker 35 Alright, that's enough. Bargy, book club's over.

Speaker 38 We gotta go.

Speaker 39 Yeah, Bargie, we got real close to Mufalata Secundus, but horse hats missing. We gotta figure out where they are.

Speaker 2 Yeah, this is more important than saving the galaxy or book club.

Speaker 41 I agree, which is why Book Club is coming with us.

Speaker 2 Oh, no!

Speaker 2 Yay!

Speaker 2 Yay!

Speaker 57 I am living for this.

Speaker 64 Oh, geez, it's hot.

Speaker 19 That drinks water.

Speaker 33 Oh, an insecticopter.

Speaker 33 Hey!

Speaker 33 Hey, down here!

Speaker 33 Hey!

Speaker 33 Hello?

Speaker 33 What the?

Speaker 9 What the juck is this dummy doing out here?

Speaker 18 This is flight pilot Riley Dunker reaching out on the emergency frequency.

Speaker 49 Yes.

Speaker 49 Yeah, I hear you.

Speaker 37 Um, I got turned around and I'm uh running low on water, Ogre.

Speaker 55 That's a copy.

Speaker 68 You know, you shouldn't be out in this area. This is worm territory.

Speaker 46 You're gonna wanna head back to town, ASAP.

Speaker 2 Oh, John.

Speaker 49 Yeah, copy that.

Speaker 2 Um,

Speaker 2 hey, is there any way I could get a ride with you back to town? Over?

Speaker 2 What a dingus.

Speaker 16 Copy that.

Speaker 18 I'm afraid that's gonna have to be a negative. I'm in the middle of a delivery right now, and it's getting cold.
I make most of my money from tips,

Speaker 40 so I gotta get moving.

Speaker 46 But listen, if you follow my heading, it shouldn't take more than a couple hours. Just make sure you don't walk too loud.

Speaker 3 Um, unless, of course, you do see the worm, and then you're gonna wanna run. What? So,

Speaker 3 yeah, good luck. Over now.

Speaker 3 No, no, no, no, hold on. Uh,

Speaker 3 please, don't, um

Speaker 3 crap.

Speaker 3 This is a freaking nightmare.

Speaker 3 What's that?

Speaker 3 What was that?

Speaker 3 Oh crap.

Speaker 3 Oh crap.

Speaker 3 Oh crap. Oh crap.

Speaker 3 Oh juk.

Speaker 71 Oh shit. Oh jump.

Speaker 4 Oh

Speaker 4 no.

Speaker 19 Okay.

Speaker 55 I'll just be super quiet. Oh crap.

Speaker 6 Oh crap. Oh crap.

Speaker 19 Oh jump.

Speaker 19 Oh crap.

Speaker 19 I bet it'll just go away.

Speaker 6 Crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.

Speaker 6 Oh crap, oh crap.

Speaker 6 Oh crap. Oh shit.
Oh jump.

Speaker 6 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 6 Oh.

Speaker 32 Okay, I'll just run.

Speaker 32 Oh, oh, this sucks. This sucks.
This sucks.

Speaker 32 What the? Okay. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 7 Oh, those rocks.

Speaker 48 Just gotta make to those rocks.

Speaker 48 Alright.

Speaker 48 Okay. Almost at the rocks.
Almost at the rocks.

Speaker 48 Alright.

Speaker 48 Alright. Here we go.
Almost there. Almost there.
Almost to the rocks.

Speaker 48 I made it.

Speaker 13 Sorry, worm. Not today.

Speaker 13 Alright.

Speaker 58 There's a way for him to go.

Speaker 58 That's good.

Speaker 58 What?

Speaker 58 Oh, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 58 It's not even normal for worms to get that big.

Speaker 58 Oh.

Speaker 33 Well, maybe he just...

Speaker 48 maybe he just wanted to scare me.

Speaker 48 Oh, crap.

Speaker 48 Wow, this planet aptly named really is just Sandra Sandlach. Oh, sand.
No,

Speaker 48 the nickname sand is pretty apropos. Look at this place.
I am loving this sand. This is great for this frame.

Speaker 4 Oh, look at that skitter.

Speaker 54 You don't really move on this sand. Oh, watch this.

Speaker 43 Okay, no time for this kind of shit.

Speaker 46 First things first, we're gonna set up a perimeter.

Speaker 46 Okay. See that pile of sand?

Speaker 58 I guess so. One of them.

Speaker 58 Okay.

Speaker 46 That's one point of the perimeter.

Speaker 70 AJ, AJ.

Speaker 33 Now we use the fob.

Speaker 58 Why would we need a perimeter?

Speaker 70 What's on the FOB?

Speaker 72 Of course, we can use the FOB, but this feels good to make a perimeter.

Speaker 49 I don't know what you want me to say. What's the point of doing a perimeter?

Speaker 6 He could be on the other side of the planet. We have no idea.

Speaker 69 You're grilling him, okay?

Speaker 33 And get back on the ship, man.

Speaker 69 And I'm here to just make sure there's a little buffer between the press and my client.

Speaker 60 We just know. We know the fob.
Mr.

Speaker 69 Jay, remember, pivot to message, pivot to message.

Speaker 43 Okay, my family and I will not be taking further questions at this time.

Speaker 65 Family?

Speaker 12 Whatever.

Speaker 38 Let's just fan out and start searching, okay? You know, if AJ decides to use the fob, finally, he can let us know where to go.

Speaker 39 Great idea.

Speaker 35 Let's all move.

Speaker 63 Hey, gang.

Speaker 17 Yeah,

Speaker 17 I found you guys with a fob.

Speaker 65 You found us with a fob?

Speaker 46 Every time.

Speaker 17 Yeah, I have my own fob line. Oh, wow.

Speaker 54 There's a lot of fobs out there.

Speaker 46 Hey, man, can I take a pick of that fob?

Speaker 17 Just Just go ahead and check out under the hood. Yeah, a little bit.
Crack the hood of the fob, see how the sausage is made. Yeah.

Speaker 47 Peter One.

Speaker 47 What is going on?

Speaker 24 Did you abduct Horse Hat?

Speaker 17 Look, I did, but we're in a totally different situation right now.

Speaker 9 I was hired by Corbalvor

Speaker 17 to abduct Horse Hat.

Speaker 38 It's pronounced Balevor, but I mean, it makes sense.

Speaker 58 If you're reading it, you probably.

Speaker 25 Yeah, I've never said it out loud before.

Speaker 58 Okay, yeah, no, it's Balevor.

Speaker 63 Yeah, the way we do it is.

Speaker 63 Only AJ does that.

Speaker 35 Did he say why?

Speaker 35 I just, I can't, I can't imagine. I've never heard of any reason why Cor would do this with the child.
It's just.

Speaker 26 Dark Corru is evil.

Speaker 54 Who knows why he's doing any of this?

Speaker 35 Right, but you know, there's some evil that's predictable,

Speaker 35 part of a plan, even, but this feels kind of out of left field.

Speaker 17 I never asked my clients why.

Speaker 38 Peter One, tell us everything.

Speaker 17 Cor Bailvor, Vor he hired me to abduct Horse Hat. I was supposed to return this little guy to him.

Speaker 17 And I just couldn't do it. So for the last couple weeks we've been gallivanting around.

Speaker 17 I thought it was going to be cool, like bounty hunter stuff, but sort of ended up kind of being the handyman for Planet Sand.

Speaker 6 Oh,

Speaker 66 yo, I see your van.

Speaker 17 Yeah, I got my van parked out over there.

Speaker 17 And so I'd love if you guys could take Horse Hat back. You know, then I could kind of get back on my way.
But first, I do need your help with a few of my remaining tasks on my to-do list.

Speaker 60 Oh,

Speaker 21 definitely take Horse Hat.

Speaker 24 The first part of that is great.

Speaker 58 How many tasks?

Speaker 17 Seven tasks. Two of them are in the same neighborhood, so

Speaker 19 I have a quick question.

Speaker 19 See, there's a blue light on this, Bob.

Speaker 2 It's a blue blinking light instead of a red blinking light.

Speaker 17 Years have the red.

Speaker 61 Yeah.

Speaker 43 Is that what's that?

Speaker 17 Is that blue's more dynamic?

Speaker 19 Is it? I guess so.

Speaker 4 I mean, red. Yeah, I guess the blue does look a little better.

Speaker 35 How is it that this planet that seemingly is just never-ending sand could have seven tasks for you to complete?

Speaker 9 Yeah, well, seven tasks.

Speaker 17 I've already been working on the list. So it started with 19.

Speaker 6 What? Wow.

Speaker 26 What are you doing?

Speaker 75 Peter One, why do you feel the need to accomplish all these tasks?

Speaker 49 You're the galaxy's most fearsome bounty hunter on the lamb.

Speaker 17 Uh, sorry, I should clarify. I know there's been some confusion about what I go by.
My current name is, of course, 3-Pete.

Speaker 4 Hmm, okay.

Speaker 6 Three-Pete?

Speaker 17 When I failed to deliver on the bounty on Horse Hat, I had to leave the Fab 3,

Speaker 17 and thus I'm no longer eligible for a Fab 3 name.

Speaker 13 Oh.

Speaker 65 So sorry.

Speaker 54 You had to leave your own family?

Speaker 17 I did.

Speaker 13 Wow.

Speaker 38 And as we all know, the Fab was actually just you and your son, Peter 3.

Speaker 9 Right.

Speaker 54 Well, formerly it was you, your father, and your grandfather.

Speaker 19 Correct.

Speaker 17 But now it's just my son, Peter 2.

Speaker 58 Okay, of course.

Speaker 38 Well, as soon as you left the guild, he then became the patriarch.

Speaker 25 Peter 2. Peter 2.

Speaker 13 Right.

Speaker 28 Wow. I'm 3-Pete.

Speaker 17 Or 3-Peter.

Speaker 40 Wait, you're 3-Pete or 3-Peter?

Speaker 17 To my friends.

Speaker 25 Okay.

Speaker 70 Alright.

Speaker 26 Which one is more casual?

Speaker 17 Three-Peter Peters.

Speaker 77 Three Peter.

Speaker 78 Thank you for bringing me the globe of Sandor.

Speaker 28 Just a ball of sand.

Speaker 58 You're taking orders for a robot?

Speaker 17 Yeah, this is Sandrabot. Yes.

Speaker 66 Wait, to be clear, you're on a friendly level with this bot.

Speaker 25 Absolutely. She just called you Three Peter.

Speaker 17 Yeah. Okay.
Well, during the course of my weeks here, we've gotten quite close.

Speaker 2 Very close.

Speaker 17 Actually, we're thinking about moving in together.

Speaker 4 Wow.

Speaker 26 That honestly feels like it may be moving a little fast.

Speaker 17 We like the same things.

Speaker 2 Ah, okay.

Speaker 26 Okay, so what you're saying, Three Peter, is that sort of over the course of some of the first, I guess, 12 tasks, you realize that you sort of had feelings for a Sandra bot. Yep.

Speaker 35 Yeah, wait, can they do their mind melt? I would like to see this. Not to put your relationship to the test or anything.
I'm just curious.

Speaker 17 Sure, it's fine. We don't mind.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 73 One, two,

Speaker 2 three,

Speaker 2 sand.

Speaker 70 Okay.

Speaker 63 Checks out.

Speaker 20 They're in sync.

Speaker 54 There's no denying that.

Speaker 40 Guys, listen, this is great, but three Peter, can you take us to Horse Hat?

Speaker 12 We're really worried about them.

Speaker 26 Are they okay?

Speaker 24 I will take you to Horse Hat.

Speaker 17 Horse Hat is fine.

Speaker 35 You swear?

Speaker 17 I swear.

Speaker 26 Okay. Oh, thank God.

Speaker 54 Wait a second.

Speaker 50 Pleck just called you Three Peter.

Speaker 62 Are we on that level?

Speaker 17 Yeah, I. You know, there's a lot coming at me, so I didn't have time to correct him.
Pleck, I prefer if you go and call me Three Pete.

Speaker 54 Fair enough, Three Pete.

Speaker 50 We were once described as your best friends, right?

Speaker 17 Well, a lot has changed. I

Speaker 17 have a kid now, essentially, for the last three weeks.

Speaker 65 Yeah, well,

Speaker 6 my other shit here.

Speaker 58 right. You got kicked out of the gutter.
I get it.

Speaker 24 It's been a busy couple weeks for all of us.

Speaker 6 Well, I'm going to go home.

Speaker 78 I'll see you later at the apartment showing.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 6 You guys are looking at an apartment.

Speaker 26 Here.

Speaker 4 Oh, wow. Yeah.

Speaker 11 Here on this planet?

Speaker 47 Yeah, are there structures above ground on sand?

Speaker 26 I mean, this is a pretty, pretty sandy, barren planet.

Speaker 17 It's a nice neighborhood, the one we're looking at. Good schools.

Speaker 19 Okay.

Speaker 58 I don't want to nitpick here, but you're looking at schools, but Horse Hat, again, is just... You've only really had Horse Hat for a little.
I mean, they're not really your child.

Speaker 17 That's actually a good point. So, you know, when you talk to the realtor, Sandrabot, just make sure to mention that we're going to kind of deprioritize schools on the list.

Speaker 43 Right back down into the sand.

Speaker 75 Is it Sand Robot or is it Sandra bot?

Speaker 6 Oh, whoa. She's back.

Speaker 63 Wow. Oh, hello.

Speaker 58 I'm sorry.

Speaker 70 Sandra robot. Sandra Robot.

Speaker 77 Okay.

Speaker 54 Either Either of the options was so funny.

Speaker 35 Did you see the way she winked at Peter when she said that?

Speaker 58 And just like turned and then looked over her shoulder?

Speaker 24 Which is weird because her butt is just sort of a corkscrew shaped.

Speaker 6 It allows her to burrow back into the...

Speaker 63 What?

Speaker 17 Why are you talking about her butt?

Speaker 73 No, no, no.

Speaker 6 Sorry.

Speaker 60 Sorry.

Speaker 63 Yeah, I don't know. None of us.

Speaker 17 Don't talk about her butt. You just met her.

Speaker 35 Yeah, you're right. You know, truly, not a lot has been going on in the love lives of the crew.

Speaker 6 I mean, any of us, really.

Speaker 66 We definitely know some book club members who are single.

Speaker 64 Huh.

Speaker 57 Uh um yes you do, okay.

Speaker 46 Oh yeah, there's still a board.

Speaker 40 Hey guys, hey, the ships above us are this is Bargy's book club.

Speaker 9 That sounds cool.

Speaker 80 Make out, make out!

Speaker 9 Who?

Speaker 17 Not sure who that was directed at.

Speaker 17 Look, we gotta get some of these tasks done. We don't have much time.

Speaker 25 What what what are these tasks for you?

Speaker 17 First one, it's gonna be tough. We gotta kill a worm.

Speaker 72 Whoa,

Speaker 54 uh, sandworm?

Speaker 17 On the planet sand, you don't have to say sandworm.

Speaker 54 Well, I know, but I'm saying for my crew.

Speaker 17 You just say worm.

Speaker 54 Maybe used to non-sand worms.

Speaker 17 It just saves time, because, you know, you don't have to add sand before every word, because technically, sand worm. Sand all sand worm, yeah.
Sand house.

Speaker 28 Yeah.

Speaker 58 Three people,

Speaker 47 listen, we sort of are on our way to fulfill a pretty big task of our own, and we.

Speaker 23 That was quick.

Speaker 79 A kid comes to us?

Speaker 17 Me and the worm have kind of been dancing around each other for a few days.

Speaker 46 Wow. Alright.

Speaker 54 Well, see, obviously the problem with killing a sandworm is the size.

Speaker 17 Yeah, it's way too small to find.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so it's like, where is this guy? You know? Where is it?

Speaker 38 And also, the worm is really taunting you. It could just stay quiet and would be much harder to find, but it keeps popping up and telling you where it is.

Speaker 73 Yeah.

Speaker 26 What is

Speaker 26 this worm is really

Speaker 66 it's flexing its little muscles when it pops out too.

Speaker 17 Good idea, AJ.

Speaker 46 Shooting wildly, safe here.

Speaker 70 Yeah,

Speaker 16 watch it, AJ.

Speaker 66 Definitely not up.

Speaker 62 3P,

Speaker 12 how are you gonna kill a worm?

Speaker 26 The worm's like three inches long.

Speaker 17 I don't know. Some kind of trap or uh

Speaker 17 And maybe we could tell it it won a contest see if that gets it to come out.

Speaker 26 Does that work?

Speaker 17 It's worked before for me. Hmm.

Speaker 53 Yeah, uh

Speaker 17 you won uh

Speaker 17 you won a contest.

Speaker 17 Yeah, you just gotta

Speaker 17 you gotta come stand over here.

Speaker 17 Just under my foot.

Speaker 70 oh wow wow

Speaker 17 that was actually a lot easier than i thought it would be you've been working on this for a couple days yeah i was working on that one for two days who's been with horse hat for two days sandra robot

Speaker 81 sandra robot was here

Speaker 17 sandra robot is extremely fast

Speaker 24 Well, yeah, you gotta remember, the horse hat is, except for their speech, more or less fully grown, fully capable.

Speaker 17 Yeah, that's kind of my parenting style.

Speaker 17 Both Dar and Nermit, I I don't mean to tell you how to parent, but um in my weeks with Horse Hat as my kid, I found that kind of, you know, not doing the helicopter parenting thing has been really um really fertile uh in our relationship.

Speaker 21 I mean we did drop them on another planet, so

Speaker 19 yeah,

Speaker 17 okay, that's a good start.

Speaker 35 Pretty hands-off, you know.

Speaker 38 Yeah, we we almost never see Horse Hat.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 17 Okay, cool. Sam.

Speaker 58 We see them once, like, every six or seven missions.

Speaker 17 And just, by the way, we did, we made some dietary changes, so when you're doing feedings going forward, I'll leave you a note, but we've made a few dietary changes.

Speaker 40 Ooh, you and Sandra robots?

Speaker 17 Yeah, me and Sandra robot.

Speaker 17 Hey, Papa. Yeah.

Speaker 19 Oh, I know we talked to him a couple times, but this bounty hunter thing, I always think it's gonna be a lot cooler than it is, you know? Like, I mean, is this what he's been doing?

Speaker 19 Just like odd jobs?

Speaker 38 Yeah, and he's not even in the guild, so it's not like he's bogged down by paperwork.

Speaker 40 He can do whatever he wants, and he's still...

Speaker 25 But also, I wanted to ask,

Speaker 70 is worm squashing a handyman task on this planet?

Speaker 25 Yes, so.

Speaker 76 We're also, I would, it looks like sort of miles from the nearest settlement.

Speaker 6 I'm not sure how killing the worm way out here helps anyone.

Speaker 54 Yeah, do you not remember how annoying the worm was?

Speaker 63 Yeah, but it was way out here.

Speaker 75 Yeah, you gotta go five miles out of the woods just kill like one squirrel.

Speaker 63 That doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 54 Yeah, you would if that squirrel was annoying enough.

Speaker 64 I just wouldn't come out to that part of the woods.

Speaker 70 Now you're living your life on the squirrel's terms.

Speaker 17 So are you guys ready to go to town? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 50 This van only has two seats up front, so the rest of us just kind of like rattle around in the back or yeah, you guys can make it work.

Speaker 62 I'm not sitting in this little bin of washers.

Speaker 17 Oh, yeah, don't mind that stuff. Don't mind that stuff right there.
That's part of the tasks.

Speaker 9 Why is there a Garfon?

Speaker 17 I kind of do food deliveries as part of the

Speaker 17 tasks are food deliveries.

Speaker 54 What percentage of the tasks for food delivery?

Speaker 17 I guess all of them, except for the worm one.

Speaker 6 Wow, oh boy.

Speaker 46 Wow.

Speaker 54 So you're kind of just moonlighting as a food delivery person.

Speaker 17 Yeah, kind of like a handyman.

Speaker 54 Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's not a handyman, though.

Speaker 17 Well, when you don't have food is pretty handy. I mean, when I swing by with it.

Speaker 54 Yeah, okay. You got me there.

Speaker 26 That's a good point.

Speaker 33 So, three-pie, when you left the guild, that must have been really hard.

Speaker 27 What was the fallout from that?

Speaker 17 Yeah, it's really hard. You have to take an exit exam, do an exit interview, which, of course, I had to do with the new senior guild member, my son.
Right. Oh, no, that's not comfortable.

Speaker 55 What happens if you fail the exit exam?

Speaker 17 If you fail the exit exam, you become sort of president of the guild for another term of the world.

Speaker 13 Oh wow.

Speaker 58 So then you have to you're more in the guild if you fail.

Speaker 65 Yeah.

Speaker 43 Wow.

Speaker 65 Was this an in-person exit interview?

Speaker 76 Yeah. Wow.

Speaker 38 And you probably had to turn in your weapons too, so the second the interview was over you were unarmed.

Speaker 17 That's right.

Speaker 39 So you had the bounty, you refused to turn in the bounty, but then you brought the bounty to the other remaining guild member for your exit interview.

Speaker 17 Yep, but there's now there's protocols in the guild, so he's not able to take the bounty off you during the exit

Speaker 17 As soon as the ex-interview's done, different story.

Speaker 38 Wow, so that must have made a very tense end of the interview then.

Speaker 17 Extremely tense. As soon as the interview's over, smoke bomb.

Speaker 47 Cool.

Speaker 65 So if you had to turn in your weapons, you basically had to time the throwing of that smoke bomb so that it left your hand this literally the exact moment that the interview was over.

Speaker 58 Right.

Speaker 38 So that then when it hit the ground, it was no longer in your possession.

Speaker 17 I did. I considered it when I threw it to be the end of my, you know, term with the guild.

Speaker 61 Sure.

Speaker 27 Three-Pete, you know, I gotta say,

Speaker 33 I really respect your decision to leave the guild for ethical reasons, but

Speaker 47 what are you doing here doing tasks?

Speaker 33 You could be doing anything.

Speaker 17 Well, you know, I'm sorry that the life I've made with Sandra Robot is not good enough for you. I guess I should do something more, or I don't know.
What are you trying to say?

Speaker 47 So your decision to start doing tasks was purely motivated by your relationship with Sandra Robot?

Speaker 17 Well, at first, it was because Horse Hat was such a rod damn stinker, and uh

Speaker 17 and then um

Speaker 17 when we landed on this planet, I was supposed to make the delivery and Sandra Robot popped up and you know, I never looked back. But you kept Horse Hat, yeah.

Speaker 17 Well, yeah,'cause we thought it would be a nice trial run for if we ever wanna have a kid.

Speaker 17 Wow, how would that?

Speaker 17 He's a robot, right?

Speaker 17 Hey, Jay, I don't think we need to get into that really necessarily.

Speaker 17 I don't understand your question.

Speaker 17 I just want to put it on the record that I think if I had shot wildly enough, I would have hit that worm.

Speaker 17 I just want to say that it was that you were not wild enough? No.

Speaker 17 Just wanted to say that, but you know, no big deal.

Speaker 17 Oh wow, yeah, yeah, this is a real town.

Speaker 17 Well, it's sort of one street with buildings on either side of it.

Speaker 58 Kind of carved into this this canyon here.

Speaker 53 Yeah.

Speaker 72 So let's uh let's go find Horse Hat.

Speaker 70 Alright. Go find find

Speaker 6 uh or um go to

Speaker 17 what did I say?

Speaker 35 You said find you absolutely said find as if you as if you didn't know where horse hat.

Speaker 17 Okay, look, can I be honest? The last task on my list is find horse hat.

Speaker 58 Who gave you that task?

Speaker 17 Sandra robot.

Speaker 17 We took him to the park and uh,

Speaker 17 you know, we were kind of doing the let horse hat be horse hat parenting thing. We turned around and

Speaker 17 they were gone. Huh.

Speaker 73 Okay. Wow.

Speaker 17 I was too ashamed to admit it.

Speaker 47 I just want to recap.

Speaker 49 You were the galaxy's most feared bounty hunter.

Speaker 24 You met a cute child and decided to renounce your guild, and then you immediately lost the child.

Speaker 17 Yeah, it's been a tough month.

Speaker 27 And to further recap, the child who was so important to you that you left your entire career and family behind ranked below killing a worm on your list of tasks.

Speaker 17 Well, the task list is in chronological order of when they were assigned, so okay.

Speaker 57 All right.

Speaker 43 You gotta join them chronologically.

Speaker 35 AJ, where's the fob?

Speaker 43 Both fobs say horse headed that way,

Speaker 2 but I have to admit

Speaker 46 three Pete's fob is blue.

Speaker 33 Yeah,

Speaker 40 I think that's the only difference, AJ.

Speaker 48 I think they're pretty much the same.

Speaker 58 Wait, the point is, 3-Pete, you had a fob tracking horse hat?

Speaker 60 Yeah.

Speaker 60 Yeah. Wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 17 Okay, look, my PR person can handle this.

Speaker 1 Okay, so here's the thing.

Speaker 64 3-Pete didn't get out of here.

Speaker 17 So just to recap, I had a fob,

Speaker 17 but I still wasn't able to find Horse Hat.

Speaker 21 How the mighty have fallen. The Peter 3 turned Peter 1 that we used to know would have never sunk to this level of inefficiency.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 24 3P, what happened to your obsession with order, your love of paperwork, your devotion to everything in triplicate?

Speaker 17 I've got a new love.

Speaker 47 Sandra Robot?

Speaker 17 Sandra Robot.

Speaker 17 What can I say? She's all I think about.

Speaker 63 All day, every day.

Speaker 35 This is all well and good. Love hearing about your undying love for Sandra Robot.
But can we please go get horse half-seconded?

Speaker 33 Yes, yeah, thank you, Captain Darr.

Speaker 9 AJ, Fob the way.

Speaker 46 You got it, boss.

Speaker 26 He's your boss now?

Speaker 19 Yeah.

Speaker 39 Huh. I don't want to step on your toes.

Speaker 26 Looks like this fob is pointing at that abandoned warehouse that is carved into the canyon.

Speaker 11 Normant, let's go.

Speaker 27 Here we go. Carry me.

Speaker 50 He still makes a running noise even when even when Dar is carrying him.

Speaker 19 I run back and forth over the shoulders, but this shoulder, matching, my shoulder.

Speaker 71 I'm afraid you're too late to be part of this transaction.

Speaker 36 Is that could you turn on a light?

Speaker 35 It's really dark in here.

Speaker 54 Yeah, I'm not standing by one.

Speaker 54 You just came in, so maybe there's fun.

Speaker 58 See a switch.

Speaker 54 Check to your right or to your left.

Speaker 35 This isn't my abandoned warehouse that I've taken.

Speaker 72 No.

Speaker 12 Darn.

Speaker 35 Yeah, could we all find a light? We're trying to confront the sentient who has horse hat.

Speaker 82 It appears they have come for the baby.

Speaker 11 Who is that person?

Speaker 35 Are you near a light switch?

Speaker 82 Oh, so you have come to complete the transaction.

Speaker 48 What transaction?

Speaker 26 What are you talking about?

Speaker 26 Inform them.

Speaker 29 I'm afraid they are too late to participate in this transaction.

Speaker 31 I'm not afraid.

Speaker 68 I believe what he is trying to say is that he is afraid you are too late to participate in the transaction.

Speaker 6 That was clear.

Speaker 35 What isn't clear is what was a transaction?

Speaker 79 Where is my child, and why is it so dark in here?

Speaker 68 Well, bear in mind, this is an abandoned warehouse, so the electric company isn't going to like provide electricity for free.

Speaker 4 Ah, okay.

Speaker 4 Hey.

Speaker 23 Sweet beats.

Speaker 26 Where have you been?

Speaker 26 Are you gonna help?

Speaker 23 These monsters have taken your adoptive child.

Speaker 17 Yeah, I wish I could help. I just feel like we might be too late to participate in the transaction.

Speaker 47 Yes.

Speaker 55 Transacting is a complicated profession.

Speaker 35 Don't you agree?

Speaker 11 That's a fourth one. That's a fourth one.

Speaker 82 Also, all of our voices are exactly the same, so you will never know who is who.

Speaker 71 Yes, there is just a hair of deviation between each of our voices, so good luck.

Speaker 44 You'll never be able to determine which

Speaker 29 is embarrassing.

Speaker 35 3P, do you know these people?

Speaker 17 Yeah, these are some of the citizens of uh Sandtown.

Speaker 29 I'm actually still waiting on a delivery of some uh cine sticks.

Speaker 17 Okay, hold on. Let me just run out to the van.
I got that one sec.

Speaker 2 Thank you.

Speaker 21 Where is Horse Hat?

Speaker 66 Don't say you're afraid about missing a transaction.

Speaker 83 That doesn't mean anything.

Speaker 83 Still.

Speaker 26 I'm afraid you don't understand.

Speaker 68 The transaction is complete.

Speaker 29 We both tendered the payment that we agreed upon and then received the goods that we agreed.

Speaker 17 So you did get your cine sticks? So, whose are these?

Speaker 59 No, I did not get my cine sticks.

Speaker 17 You just said you did get the transaction.

Speaker 74 This is a separate transaction.

Speaker 17 So, these are your cynestics?

Speaker 37 Yes, thank you.

Speaker 54 Yes, these are mine.

Speaker 59 Sorry, sorry, everyone. Just I'm gonna cut through here and take these.

Speaker 17 Check that one off the list.

Speaker 70 Oh, but they're quite cold.

Speaker 2 I was kind of hoping we were gonna get some free cynes.

Speaker 11 Alright, I'm sick of this.

Speaker 35 I just want you to take us to Horse Hat right now.

Speaker 58 As you can see, Horse Hat is quite safe.

Speaker 24 They are here in this laboratory recovering from a minor procedure.

Speaker 61 All right, everybody.

Speaker 4 Block and look. Wait, hold on.

Speaker 46 Where's my blaster?

Speaker 31 I'm afraid we lifted it off you in the dark.

Speaker 13 Oh, man, lift it.

Speaker 50 Everyone's had enough, right? Jweet, let's charge him.

Speaker 51 I love this plan. Charge him.
Let's do it.

Speaker 81 I'm afraid you'll find that technique highly ineffective.

Speaker 81 You see, this is a sand planet covered in sand made of sand.

Speaker 84 I knew that already!

Speaker 31 Yes, but you are unaware of the many varieties.

Speaker 46 I can't sleep.

Speaker 40 Yeah, I'm still sinking.

Speaker 84 Dory, I eat sand, so I'll just keep eating.

Speaker 84 Just keep eating.

Speaker 24 Yeah, it's endless.

Speaker 14 Even if you're scared.

Speaker 35 You just keep eating the sand around me and it'll be fine, and it'll eat the sand around you.

Speaker 40 Dark, Tellurians drink water, but we can still drown in water.

Speaker 81 I would advise you not to struggle, as the more you do, the deeper you sink into the sand.

Speaker 40 Okay, everyone, stop. Don't move.
I stop moving, and I'm not sinking.

Speaker 53 Okay, guys, I fought and I got my waist.

Speaker 23 So, AJ, stop moving.

Speaker 46 I'm fighting the sand.

Speaker 70 No, it looks you're at a cross right.

Speaker 6 A what?

Speaker 58 You must decide between moving and staying alive.

Speaker 19 Oh, we're incapacitated, guys.

Speaker 53 Official.

Speaker 10 Stakes established. Thanks, AJ.

Speaker 52 Welcome, man.

Speaker 40 Bargie.

Speaker 49 Bargie.

Speaker 24 It's Pleck.

Speaker 23 We're stuck in this quicksand. We're surrounded by enemies.

Speaker 49 Horsehead's unconscious.

Speaker 23 You gotta get down here.

Speaker 80 Oh, Blood Club has become a disaster. The drum, the drama is up

Speaker 80 the tree, if you you know what I mean.

Speaker 25 I don't.

Speaker 80 And worst of all, I'm really into the book now. I just read it.

Speaker 80 I don't know, just to prove to them that I could.

Speaker 12 Barge, please get it.

Speaker 19 Hello? Wow.

Speaker 38 Alright, everybody, just calm down.

Speaker 40 Surely there's a way for us to work this out, and we'll take horse hat and be on our way.

Speaker 68 Impossible.

Speaker 29 You see, Dah,

Speaker 29 your child horse hat is extremely valuable to our client, for they gestated in the same bloodstream as the Bina Kron.

Speaker 13 Oh, wow. The what now?

Speaker 31 You know

Speaker 32 it as Bino.

Speaker 14 Oh, sure.

Speaker 68 An ancient relic with unlimited power.

Speaker 11 And so?

Speaker 56 Gestation is a complicated profession, don't you agree?

Speaker 76 He's not really with us.

Speaker 71 He's here, but I wouldn't say he's like not one of us.

Speaker 31 He wasn't part of the transaction, he sort of showed up.

Speaker 32 Okay, all right.

Speaker 33 The point is, Dar, by virtue of sharing a bloodstream, Horse Hat has been imbued down to their very DNA with powerful properties, rich in space magic.

Speaker 33 And our client will reward us mightily for delivering the child.

Speaker 65 All right, fine.

Speaker 54 Well, who is this mysterious client of yours

Speaker 11 out of nowhere again

Speaker 78 hello oh hey i did not expect to see you here

Speaker 2 how did you find this place

Speaker 17 the fobs sandra robot what are you doing here is this the apartment we were supposed to look at what this place is terrible i would never want to live here it doesn't have much light yeah no peter i absolutely wouldn't live live here.

Speaker 13 It's also a weird flow.

Speaker 78 I am sorry, but this is not Bapparishmist. This was all a ruse.

Speaker 78 The rumors are true. I, Sandra Robots, I'm in fact the mastermind of the plan to get Napoleon.
Sandra Robot was ordered by Corn Baalivor.

Speaker 58 Wow.

Speaker 39 It's actually Beelvor.

Speaker 6 Baelivor. Bailivor.

Speaker 78 This is an E there.

Speaker 58 No, yeah, but it's not.

Speaker 19 You can't pronounce the E.

Speaker 76 No, you don't pronounce it. No, you don't pronounce it.

Speaker 32 Yes, she is our client, and then he is her client.

Speaker 26 Okay,

Speaker 2 hold on.

Speaker 17 So we're not moving in together.

Speaker 4 Oh,

Speaker 33 you betrayed. Okay.

Speaker 2 Sorry about that.

Speaker 19 Boot cuffs coming through my helmet.

Speaker 40 Yeah, you gotta turn that off, AJ. Yeah.

Speaker 77 Listen, I

Speaker 78 did not intend to fall in to love with you.

Speaker 78 That was not part of the plan. I was just here to get the horse hat because of the power of the Vinochron.

Speaker 6 Yeah, yeah, yeah, so.

Speaker 77 I fell into the love

Speaker 78 so hard, so fast.

Speaker 17 Oh, so that was real.

Speaker 61 Get out of here, man.

Speaker 78 I will admit, we're a distraction. Peter, the worm is not that annoying, to be honest.
It's only three inches long, Nobody noticed it.

Speaker 77 Oh.

Speaker 78 But I did not intend to distract with my feelings to fall in love.

Speaker 24 Yeah, we get we get that part, Sandra Reliant.

Speaker 58 We understand.

Speaker 76 You made that clear. Yeah, you felt that that was a little bit more.

Speaker 17 It was important to me. I like hearing it, so maybe.

Speaker 70 Sure.

Speaker 24 But I mean, she did betray you.

Speaker 58 I mean, that still happened.

Speaker 17 Well, yeah, but she does love me, so, you know. Silver lining.

Speaker 71 Uh, hey, everyone, sorry, I don't know what's going on in here, but I've been waiting for some food delivery.

Speaker 15 Hey, buddy, I don't know.

Speaker 74 Take a second to read the room here while being held hostage, okay?

Speaker 26 Can this wait?

Speaker 73 Oh, my wings are hostage somewhere.

Speaker 39 But you came down here to get the wings?

Speaker 74 Why don't you just go to the place the wings are from and pick them up there?

Speaker 75 I think you'll find that the exits are sealed.

Speaker 6 Oh, man.

Speaker 26 How'd I get in?

Speaker 26 The exits are sealed.

Speaker 47 The entrances remain as functional as they have been.

Speaker 4 Chuck me.

Speaker 6 Oh, we're not going to shut you out.

Speaker 25 I can't ever leave, and I don't get my wings.

Speaker 17 Yeah, and can you just still give me five stars? Because that's not my fault. Sure.

Speaker 6 Unfortunately, those five stars shall never reach their destination.

Speaker 51 Hey, interfering with user feedback on an app? That's the last straw, man.

Speaker 13 You might have disarmed me, but you didn't disbutt me.

Speaker 34 No, AJ.

Speaker 46 I know I'm gonna sink more, but I'm going down shooting wildly.

Speaker 48 No, stop moving.

Speaker 70 You have shot me in the shoulder, which is very painful.

Speaker 48 You have shot me in the little pinky finger.

Speaker 11 You shot me in the appendixes.

Speaker 60 Both?

Speaker 83 That's appendices.

Speaker 2 I dropped my butt gun. It was too wet.

Speaker 34 AJ. How could this have happened?

Speaker 77 You attack us.

Speaker 78 I will now summon the ultimate destruction.

Speaker 57 I will whistle for the big one.

Speaker 6 Oh no, what big worm?

Speaker 31 Yes, I'm afraid you've only experienced the small worm.

Speaker 13 Yes, yeah, okay.

Speaker 17 And just to recap, this is a big sand worm. They're just not saying sand because they're from here.

Speaker 52 Oh no.

Speaker 54 Can you feel those minute vibrations coursing through the sand?

Speaker 12 Sort of?

Speaker 54 That's what they call worm alert on this planet.

Speaker 26 Worm. Okay.

Speaker 6 Worm lert? Yeah.

Speaker 54 Yeah, it's a portmanteau of worm and alert.

Speaker 37 It means

Speaker 54 I think we've got less than five minutes before a giant sandworm shows up.

Speaker 4 Great.

Speaker 47 Worm lert.

Speaker 78 Major, I know you eyeingress me, but my feelings run the day, cause I am a conflated.

Speaker 17 To be honest, I'm not really sure how to respond.

Speaker 78 Remember our passionate knights on the sands, planning their future.

Speaker 77 Yeah.

Speaker 78 30% of that was for you.

Speaker 17 30%.

Speaker 17 You know, I left my whole life. I left my code.
I left my name behind for you. I do love you.

Speaker 17 Is there any chance we could still see that apartment? Or what time is that scheduled for? Three Pete.

Speaker 9 What are you doing?

Speaker 17 Well, it's just really hard to see places like the housing market is swamped here, so.

Speaker 26 Going down.

Speaker 58 They're all caves.

Speaker 79 They're all just caves carved into the side of a camp.

Speaker 17 I know that if we make the first cash offer, like, then we're in a good position.

Speaker 78 The only way I will see apartments with you is if you

Speaker 78 marry.

Speaker 60 Oh.

Speaker 60 Oh my god. She went down in the room.

Speaker 25 She's screwed down as you said.

Speaker 65 This is a real ultimatum.

Speaker 63 Yeah.

Speaker 17 Wow, yes. Of course.
Of course I'll marry you.

Speaker 68 A touching moment, to be sure.

Speaker 78 My dearest three three peach, I will burrow under this hand so I can lift you up and we can leave together.

Speaker 6 Oh no,

Speaker 23 what you guys are leaving?

Speaker 2 You snooze people.

Speaker 26 We're not none of us are snoozing.

Speaker 6 And yet all of us are losing.

Speaker 17 Well, anyway, good luck, guys. I'm sorry I couldn't help out, but uh, we gotta go.

Speaker 17 I just said we have to go see the apartment because

Speaker 17 another couple was coming in right after us, and they're like super rich.

Speaker 39 Yeah, overseas.

Speaker 29 Yes, I'm afraid your bounty hunter friend is at the mercy of a truly abusive real estate market.

Speaker 29 Hey, man,

Speaker 29 here's a bob.

Speaker 61 Thanks.

Speaker 65 Don't do that.

Speaker 2 Oh, wait, no, I did that back.

Speaker 46 Sorry, man.

Speaker 9 Oh, okay, here. Sorry.

Speaker 46 Sorry.

Speaker 17 Can I get my let me get my blue one now?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. Cool.

Speaker 54 Oh no. I don't know if it's my kekeracus, but I'm extremely sensitive to these vibrations.
I'd estimate the worm is two minutes away.

Speaker 63 Oh no

Speaker 5 Wormlert.

Speaker 2 Oh

Speaker 50 Dave Wormlert.

Speaker 21 I went to high school with Dave Wormlert. Nerman, stop.

Speaker 81 Also, you're wiggling when you're saying that. You're sinking.

Speaker 70 Oh jeez.

Speaker 45 Oh, oh, Chris. Ron.

Speaker 75 Sri Pete, don't leave us like this.

Speaker 23 We're about to be killed.

Speaker 17 I'm sorry. Tell Horse had to keep their head up.

Speaker 9 And

Speaker 43 you guys gotta go now if you're gonna make that apartment.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's across town. It's like 10 out of 10.

Speaker 17 Oh, and by the way, can you guys make the rest of my deliveries?

Speaker 9 There's like two orders up here.

Speaker 6 Absolutely.

Speaker 17 There's like two cynestics in there in the van.

Speaker 4 You can't run away.

Speaker 17 Yeah, there's two orders, so.

Speaker 46 Alright.

Speaker 43 Okay.

Speaker 6 Goodbye.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I'm not.

Speaker 58 I don't feel all that important.

Speaker 13 Alright.

Speaker 6 I'm afraid the worm's arrival is imminent.

Speaker 13 It shall devour all of you and return to the sand from which it came.

Speaker 6 This is your final worm lurk.

Speaker 37 30 seconds, Bleck.

Speaker 76 Oh no.

Speaker 82 If I were you, my loins would be moist.

Speaker 26 What?

Speaker 13 You hurt her.

Speaker 4 Gross.

Speaker 33 We shall enjoy watching you perish.

Speaker 35 I mean, if we're gonna go out, then I feel like there's a lot unsaid that needs to be said

Speaker 6 really because I sort of

Speaker 65 sort of done this sort of been in this position a few times.

Speaker 35 Yeah, we're gonna be okay well I have something I need to confess to all of you.

Speaker 13 Oh okay, okay, okay,

Speaker 2 Dar? Darr?

Speaker 19 Dar is riding that worm.

Speaker 19 Badass.

Speaker 46 This was not possible.

Speaker 48 My only consolation is to know that now you must devour this ice-cold sinners.

Speaker 32 I will never really hide from this, drug.

Speaker 32 Oh no!

Speaker 24 All the worms suck down all the quicksand. We're free!

Speaker 6 We're free!

Speaker 2 Did you miss me?

Speaker 70 Dar, this is the best. I mean,

Speaker 25 not, because you're- wait, yeah, ironically, no.

Speaker 26 What's happening, Dar?

Speaker 30 I mean, but how?

Speaker 79 You are there, but

Speaker 49 you're also here!

Speaker 24 How are there two Dars?

Speaker 35 Oh boy, have I got a yarn to spin for all of you? So I was in Snookumsville on my way back to Bargie and go there.

Speaker 35 Nobody knew.

Speaker 4 Oh, Dar, you found my blaster.

Speaker 67 Whoa, hey, Dar.

Speaker 12 Hey,

Speaker 40 let go of C53.

Speaker 16 All right. Relax, okay?

Speaker 35 Listen, nobody...

Speaker 48 Nobody needs to get hurt.

Speaker 35 I just need to explain myself before anybody gets any crazy ideas.

Speaker 40 Dar, we're talking crazy ideas. A pretty crazy idea is taking your friend and holding a blaster to their head, okay?

Speaker 35 Here's the thing, C53.

Speaker 48 I'm not your friend.

Speaker 35 I'm not your Dar.

Speaker 54 Oh, that hurts my feelings, Dar. Oh, okay, I see.

Speaker 74 Of course, this explains everything. The way you've been space sick every time we've gone to hyperspace, you grew that goatee, even though we all agreed that one time that it doesn't suit your face.

Speaker 39 You not knowing about the most basic crew stuff for the last few weeks.

Speaker 35 Aren't you clever?

Speaker 48 I don't know.

Speaker 58 Yeah, well, that's kind of my thing around here.

Speaker 58 Oh, no! Oh, no! Hold on, hold on, hold on, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Speaker 84 That was an accident, you have to believe me.

Speaker 84 When I said I wasn't your friend and I wasn't your dar, I mean, one of those things is true, I'm not actually your dar, but I kind of started to think of all of you as friends.

Speaker 84 I just needed to take C hostage because I needed you to listen to me, because I just tramped the figure on the cut, and not even it was an accident.

Speaker 84 I mean, you have to believe me, I accidentally shot one of the crewmates.

Speaker 16 Wait a minute. Wait, one minute.

Speaker 2 Dar, what was your secret?

Speaker 45 This is Sea Red IT5, credits and attributions droid commencing after a protocol. Pleck Deck Setter, Little Putt Putt, and the Client of Average Height were played by Elden Ford.

Speaker 45 C-53, the Drama Crazy Book Club member, and the tall client were played by Jeremy Benn. Dar, Dar, and Jaco were played by Ellie Kokesh.

Speaker 45 Bargie the Ship, Sandra Robot, The Tiny Sandworm, and the Short Client were played by Mujan Zulfagari. Nerbert Bundeloy, the PR Stowaway, and the sentient who ordered wings were played by Seth Lynn.

Speaker 45 AJ, Old Dag, and the client who's not really with the others were played by Winston Null. Insecto-Fopter pilot Riley Dunker and The Guy Eaten by the Sandworm were played by Shane O'Connell.

Speaker 45 3-Peak was played by special guest Zach Cherry.

Speaker 45 Zach stars in Severance premiering February 18th on Apple TV and has appeared in many TV shows and movies including Search Party, Spider-Man Homecoming, Succession, Dunkin' Dale, and more.

Speaker 45 Follow him on Twitter at Zach Cherry Gmail. And featuring featuring Frank Garcia Hale as Dad.

Speaker 45 This episode was edited by Seth Lynn from Sound Design and Mix and original Sand Planet music by Shane O'Connell.

Speaker 45 Theme music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by famous Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra. Orchestra mixing by Danny Keith Taylor.
Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley.

Speaker 45 Ship design from Nigerian Jade by Eric Goigz. Audio hosting by Simplecast.
Mission to Zix is a proud member of the Maximum Fun Network.

Speaker 10 Did your neighbor back into your car?

Speaker 70 Bring that case to Judge Judy.

Speaker 10 Think the mailman might be the real father?

Speaker 85 Give that one to Judge Mathis.

Speaker 10 But does your mom want you to flush her ashes down the toilet at Disney World when she passes away?

Speaker 85 Now that's my jurisdiction. Welcome to the court of Judge John Hodgman, where the people are real, the disputes are real, and the stakes are often unusual.

Speaker 84 If I got arrested for dumping your ashes in the jungle cruise, it would be an honor.

Speaker 40 I don't want to be part of somebody getting a super yacht.

Speaker 35 I don't know at what point you want to go into this, but we've had a worm bin before.

Speaker 10 Available free right now at maximumfun.org.

Speaker 85 Judge John Hodgman, the court of last resort when your wife won't stop pretending to be a cat and knocking the clean laundry over.

Speaker 86 Hey, kid.

Speaker 86 Your dad tell you about the time he broke Stephen Dorff's nose at the Kids' Choice Awards?

Speaker 30 In Dead Pilot Society, scripts that were developed by studios and networks but were never produced are given the table reads they deserve.

Speaker 37 When I was a kid, I had to spend my Christmas break filming a PSA about angel dust. So, yeah, being a kid sucks sometimes.

Speaker 30 Presented by Andrew Reich and Ben Blacker, Dead Pilot Society, twice a month on maximumfun.org.

Speaker 50 You know, the show you like, that hobo with the scarf who lives in a magic dumpster.

Speaker 70 Doctor Who? Yeah.

Speaker 50 MaximumFun.org.

Speaker 85 Comedy and Culture.

Speaker 10 Artist owned.

Speaker 66 Audience Supported.

Speaker 35 Could you keep talking so I could just get closer to you?

Speaker 64 That's a robot.

Speaker 87 Did they?

Speaker 87 Wait, did you hear me say something?

Speaker 62 Yes, I will continue to speak as Werner has sung.

Speaker 87 Yes, I am also here to help you.

Speaker 81 Now if I can't do this,

Speaker 66 and one Werner Herzog.

Speaker 35 It does sound like Sandra Robot has betrayed him.

Speaker 84 Okay, I'll do like a jerk. Okay, I'll just try.
Okay.

Speaker 72 Oh,

Speaker 87 it appears they have come for the baby.