508: Three Men and a Flower Baby [ft. Edi Patterson]

Speaker 1 Space.

Speaker 2 Some is chill.

Speaker 2 Some is tuped up.

Speaker 2 All is part of the great infinite cosmic ballet.

Speaker 2 The venerable starship, the RSS Synergy, forges ever deeper into uncharted regions of their galaxy, growing the coalition of united planets in the name of science, benevolence, and peace.

Speaker 2 Now, lead envoy C-53 and his intrepid crew explore new worlds, forge alliances, and search for a way back home to finally fulfill their

Speaker 2 mission to sink.

Speaker 2 Hey, Quank. Yeah, what is it, Bargie?

Speaker 2 I just uh wanted to thank you for that little gift you left me.

Speaker 10 Oh, hey, no problem. I saw it in the in the Synergy gift shop and it reminded me of you.
Okay.

Speaker 9 What is it?

Speaker 5 Bargy,

Speaker 5 I thought.

Speaker 11 I just don't understand what it is, but I still appreciate you giving it to me.

Speaker 10 It's a bobblehead of the captain of the synergy.

Speaker 12 I get so. Captain Sorak.

Speaker 11 And you thought I would like this. Again, I'm very happy that you did, and I appreciate it, and I know it was an act of kindness, but why?

Speaker 10 Because it's...

Speaker 10 It's our captain.

Speaker 13 It's a captain of the synergy.

Speaker 15 He's like the main guy.

Speaker 10 Maximum work. I know we've never met him.
He's always off doing his own missions, but he's a big deal.

Speaker 5 Yes, Captain Sorak is actually the only coup cadet to ever successfully navigate the Hikaru simulation, a notoriously difficult coup training procedure.

Speaker 5 That sounds like gibberish, but it's heroic gibberish for sure.

Speaker 17 Well, just know that many Captain Cadets flame out after that particular simulation.

Speaker 18 What?

Speaker 17 Yeah, drop out of the program entirely. Start an art collective.

Speaker 19 Wow.

Speaker 9 Who is this?

Speaker 20 Guys, check it out. Okay.

Speaker 11 Oh, you got the same gift for everybody?

Speaker 22 Yeah.

Speaker 23 Yeah, they were on sale.

Speaker 10 I mean, it's post-money, so they we just go and take them.

Speaker 24 Maximum what?

Speaker 9 Who is that?

Speaker 25 Bargie.

Speaker 5 Crew, I have an incoming transmission from

Speaker 6 Envoy Dar?

Speaker 19 What?

Speaker 18 What? That's right, baby.

Speaker 15 Darn.

Speaker 18 Darn. What's up?

Speaker 15 What are you doing?

Speaker 29 What am I doing?

Speaker 19 What am I doing?

Speaker 19 What is Darn up to?

Speaker 17 Everyone is asking the question. Now you're really milking this call.

Speaker 13 Tar, are you in Nermit's office right now?

Speaker 30 Well, yeah, of course I am.

Speaker 30 Did none of you realize I wasn't on Bargie?

Speaker 18 We were about to realize it, I think.

Speaker 15 Can you have a bobblehead conversation?

Speaker 17 Yeah,

Speaker 9 you're in a bobblehead conversation?

Speaker 10 I got you.

Speaker 11 I knew you were God, but I also respect your independence.

Speaker 13 Thanks, Bargie. Yeah, I think we all feel that way.

Speaker 27 No clack, you cannot cheat off of Bargy's test.

Speaker 13 What are you? What are you up to, Dar?

Speaker 29 What could Dar be doing on their own solo

Speaker 7 solo dar?

Speaker 16 You wouldn't dare do a solo mission.

Speaker 33 You had a real problem with C-53's solo mission last time, so

Speaker 18 masturbating. That's what I bet it is.

Speaker 23 Oh, that actually probably is what it is.

Speaker 29 Yes, I do typically like to do that at least two times a day.

Speaker 13 And you do refer to it as a solo mission, usually.

Speaker 11 And then you always say, Mission Agotwood!

Speaker 16 And you have that big banner that spills out behind you.

Speaker 34 Yeah, so no, this is a different solo mission.

Speaker 23 Pew pew pew!

Speaker 23 Ow!

Speaker 6 Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Speaker 10 Wait, Dar, you are actually on a non-masturbatory solo mission?

Speaker 24 Yes.

Speaker 25 What the tube, Dar!

Speaker 16 But, Dar, you're with Nermit.

Speaker 17 That can't be a solo mission.

Speaker 32 Well,

Speaker 34 Well, Nermit said it was a solo mission, so it's a solo mission.

Speaker 35 I will be on the solo mission with Dar. I gotta see this solo mission in person.
I'm gonna be there every step of the way.

Speaker 34 You told me this was a solo mission.

Speaker 13 It is.

Speaker 29 You said this was Dar's Moment of Jim.

Speaker 36 I know. It is our solo mission.

Speaker 10 Hey guys. Hey, guys.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry to interrupt whatever this is turning into, but

Speaker 13 do we have a mission now?

Speaker 12 Oh, yes. Sorry.

Speaker 35 Actually, Dark, I just got in here for one second. If I could just borrow the

Speaker 30 hold, but fine, sure.

Speaker 35 So you need to go on a very important rescue mission. Do you remember how Bargie was being

Speaker 35 queried by scientists about her sentience and stuff?

Speaker 35 So apparently, actually, Bargie was a very important...

Speaker 35 very important consultant in the construction of this galaxy's first sentient spaceships.

Speaker 31 Hey, congratulations.

Speaker 35 Well, there's kind of an immediate distress call coming from one of the first ones that was deployed.

Speaker 28 Yeah.

Speaker 18 Okay. Wow.

Speaker 6 Not great.

Speaker 24 What'd I do?

Speaker 10 So wait, just to clarify, Nerman, you're sending us on a rescue mission without our largest, strongest crew member.

Speaker 35 Yeah, this happens to be the day when Dar and I are going on a solo mission, so yes, but you'll be fine. It can't be.

Speaker 30 It's a solo mission if we're doing it together.

Speaker 10 Dar, no matter what happens on this rescue mission, I hope you realize what we all realized last mission, which is that we're better as a team.

Speaker 29 Listen, I agree. We're better as a team.
We should never separate. Unless, of course, I am offered a solo mission.

Speaker 8 Dar, you, darling.

Speaker 32 In which case, I just absolutely can't resist.

Speaker 18 Ice cold.

Speaker 5 Ice cold.

Speaker 35 I got us matching jackets.

Speaker 29 You can't have matching jackets on a solo mission.

Speaker 4 No, we definitely, they definitely look at them.

Speaker 29 Can't be matching when you're supposed to be doing it all the time.

Speaker 14 Okay, guys. Good luck then.

Speaker 37 Hope we don't die. Huh? Goodbye.

Speaker 11 Oh, wait, the captain of the synergy.

Speaker 22 Yes.

Speaker 10 Who did you think I was talking about?

Speaker 12 Captain Sirock.

Speaker 11 Who's that?

Speaker 10 Never mind. You know what? It's not.

Speaker 23 It's not worth. Who are you?

Speaker 43 Oh, boy.

Speaker 20 Oh, it's the captain of the synergy.

Speaker 23 Yes, AJ.

Speaker 17 Wow, after Barchie.

Speaker 24 What?

Speaker 21 Engage.

Speaker 21 Well, it's a team.

Speaker 27 Congratulations.

Speaker 16 Ye've made it through Ku Academy.

Speaker 18 And now you're here in the Synergy's engine room, ready to change the galaxy.

Speaker 25 But let me, Lieutenant Commander O'Doole, tell ye something.

Speaker 45 Engineering isn't just running transporters and squeezing local nuts.

Speaker 44 No, no, what are ye gonna do when a nogg-nilked bird of prey is burned down on ye and the cronellian crystals are hanging on by a bullnox whisker?

Speaker 18 Eh? What's he talking about?

Speaker 18 How do you keep your cool when a hypercore is overloaded and you're in the middle of a nebula full of static discharge?

Speaker 44 What happens when the captain commands ye to separate the susser from the secondary hole at high warp speeds?

Speaker 15 I'll tell ye this.

Speaker 16 You can't take care of this beautiful ship if you can't take care of yourself.

Speaker 47 That's why I use BetterHelp.

Speaker 4 BetterHelp is customized online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist and a smart affordable and in-person therapy.

Speaker 25 Say if it's for ye.

Speaker 4 Maybe the pressure of keeping thousands of officers and civilians from dying in space is too much to bear.

Speaker 4 Maybe the enormity of being thousands of light years away from your own planet is making you feel small and insignificant.

Speaker 4 Or maybe the standing toilets and refactor food are just a little weird and you need a chance to unpack it all with somebody.

Speaker 2 Talk to someone who's unbiased, won't judge ye, and can help you work through whatever you need.

Speaker 44 Don't try to do it on your own.

Speaker 19 You've given yourself too much stress.

Speaker 31 I cannot change the laws of the mind.

Speaker 31 As part is, you can get 10% off your first month at betterhealth.com/slash six.

Speaker 45 That's Z-Y-X-X.

Speaker 31 For random letters that don't refer to anything, as far as I know, have your first session in under 48 hours at B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash zix.

Speaker 46 Nobody box to your stations.

Speaker 7 We're going to stabilize this reactor on your own teeth.

Speaker 7 Oh, I see the ship. I see it.
It looks fine.

Speaker 7 Hey, dude, we're not going to know what's going on on the ship until we get aboard.

Speaker 17 That's typically how a distress call works.

Speaker 20 Right, but I mean, like, it looks fine. You know what I mean?

Speaker 11 Huh, that's the design they went with?

Speaker 9 Okay.

Speaker 5 Now, Barge, when you say you consulted on this ship,

Speaker 18 what exactly are we talking about here?

Speaker 11 They gave me a call. They asked me a couple questions.
They sent me some emails for more thorough examination. I didn't reply to those emails.
I was just busy.

Speaker 31 So it's pretty cursory as well.

Speaker 49 A lot of emails.

Speaker 25 How do you have so many emails?

Speaker 15 We're not even from this gallery.

Speaker 10 Bargie, listen, I know you don't know too much about this ship, but can you interface with it? Can you get an idea of what we're about to go into? I mean, can we breathe in there? What's going on?

Speaker 10 All right, hold on. I'll send out a signal.

Speaker 10 Hello?

Speaker 10 Beep, beep, beep, hello. This is said hello.
Who is this?

Speaker 6 Whoa, that is a crude voice processor.

Speaker 11 Yeah, this ship is barely sentient.

Speaker 18 Hello, Heidi.

Speaker 49 Do you wish to communicate with the Flower Baby?

Speaker 11 Yeah, hi, Flower Baby. My oh, great name, by the way.
My name is the Bajarian Jade. I am a fully sentient ship.
Do not be afraid. I know I am very intelligent and very attractive.

Speaker 18 Hi, hi, Hive. Your name is familiar to me.

Speaker 49 I feel like we were told to send you some emails that were never replied to.

Speaker 7 Oh no.

Speaker 49 We are doing all right.

Speaker 46 Not many people are alive on this ship.

Speaker 31 Wait, what?

Speaker 50 We would love to hatch to hatch.

Speaker 36 As you know, I have many classic jokes programmed, and it's almost like butt-to-butt. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Speaker 15 Okay, AJ, that's not the best.

Speaker 16 Sid, this isn't this doesn't really feel like the moment for levity.

Speaker 17 I don't know that we're interested in a joke.

Speaker 20 Hey, Jake, good stuff.

Speaker 40 Thank you. Thank you.

Speaker 49 I have many more.

Speaker 51 Where that came from.

Speaker 11 Honestly, it feels amazing. It feels amazing actually speaking with the ship again.
Even though I I know you're just a rudimentary version.

Speaker 9 Ah, I gotta say,

Speaker 50 what way do you like to gossip around?

Speaker 11 Oh my yes. Oh, wow.
The sentience here, right? Like, what's the deal?

Speaker 27 What's the deal?

Speaker 50 It's hard to it's hard to talk to anyone on the on the level.

Speaker 11 Exactly, you know exactly what I'm talking about. And all the people inside of you you said were dead?

Speaker 40 Most of them are dead.

Speaker 49 I feel like one may be running around inside.

Speaker 38 I can feel her legs sometimes.

Speaker 7 Oh no.

Speaker 16 Bargee.

Speaker 17 Barge, not to interrupt this conversation, but it would be great if we could get aboard the flower baby and just see what the situation is.

Speaker 11 Alright, let's hatch the hatch. Bratch it, hatch it.

Speaker 9 Hatch too much.

Speaker 9 Opening hatch now. It's quite a process.

Speaker 9 It requires effort on my part.

Speaker 8 This sounds really painful for the flower baby to do.

Speaker 8 My hatch is open, ready for butt-to-butt.

Speaker 18 It's not typically how that works.

Speaker 27 Call back, loves it.

Speaker 16 Minutes ago.

Speaker 26 So, wait, I don't get it.

Speaker 33 Is the ship's name Sid or Flower Baby?

Speaker 52 Well, it seems the sentience Sid has not fully integrated into the ship Flower Baby. You know, historically, that's actually how it used to work, but no.

Speaker 20 So, that's a rescue mission now, huh?

Speaker 22 So, lock and load, am I right?

Speaker 39 If you can put all of your guns to the right,

Speaker 10 the ship is confiscating our guns, yes.

Speaker 39 All of the guns to the right.

Speaker 20 This is another joke.

Speaker 17 It's not a joke.

Speaker 37 Oh, there's a pile of phasers here.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 39 I feel like one of you may still have a gun on you.

Speaker 17 Yeah,

Speaker 10 AG. I think you're going to have to eject your butt phaser.

Speaker 20 Fine.

Speaker 16 Great.

Speaker 16 Easier with a phaser.

Speaker 20 Yeah, it's smaller.

Speaker 7 Sleeker.

Speaker 1 Hey, guys, just to let you know, I still have my woodsaber, so don't worry.

Speaker 35 I will protect all of you if it comes to that.

Speaker 16 Cleck, that is not the reassurance you think it is.

Speaker 39 Please, I will initiate this invisible force field so you can take no more steps.

Speaker 9 Okay.

Speaker 39 One of you is a liar.

Speaker 40 A dirty dumb liar.

Speaker 10 No, I think we've been pretty forthcoming with you, Sid. What seems to be the.

Speaker 39 dumb are you if you assume that I only meant guns?

Speaker 31 Uh well, you could have said weapons.

Speaker 39 Yeah, if all weapons aren't removed immediately, I will start to beat you.

Speaker 54 Uh

Speaker 33 you wouldn't separate a uh dorky-looking robed guy from his walking staff, would you?

Speaker 39 Is this the beginning of a joke?

Speaker 7 Uh

Speaker 16 no, it's not in fairness, Sid, it certainly could be.

Speaker 39 No, well, in that case, here we go.

Speaker 27 Hey, oh, ow, ow!

Speaker 27 Sounds like you're having fun in there.

Speaker 24 So jealous.

Speaker 27 What about ouch?

Speaker 22 We're saying ouch.

Speaker 20 Cleck, just put it down.

Speaker 18 Okay, okay.

Speaker 33 I'll just leave it right here, up against the wall.

Speaker 7 Great. See?

Speaker 41 Proceed forward.

Speaker 39 The force field is removed. Is your crew hungry or thirsty?

Speaker 40 Or do you need rest?

Speaker 39 Or would you like to stand and talk?

Speaker 7 Oh,

Speaker 33 I think we're good.

Speaker 16 Yeah, Sid, these are all wonderful options.

Speaker 17 I think we're just gonna sort of walk around and investigate if that's okay.

Speaker 50 Yes.

Speaker 50 I will make a slight wind to push you down the hallway.

Speaker 33 You know, Barchie, we're all a little creeped out, but the design of the ship is really top-notch.

Speaker 18 Looks good.

Speaker 24 I know I said a lot of water beds.

Speaker 18 Yeah, there are a lot of water beds.

Speaker 16 I would say most rooms have a water bed.

Speaker 17 Even, I mean, this appears to be a cafeteria, and there's at least three water beds, which seems high for a cafeteria, right?

Speaker 40 You are correct. There are three water beds in this cafeteria.

Speaker 50 As we round this corner, be sure not to stub your toe on the trampoline.

Speaker 19 Oh,

Speaker 50 also, do not look too long at the dark walls.

Speaker 49 They are covered in blood.

Speaker 9 Ha ha ha ha.

Speaker 56 Hey, listen, Pleck, Pleck,

Speaker 18 not that I am, but are you feeling nervous or anxious right now or anything like that?

Speaker 18 Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 13 C-53, this is terrifying.

Speaker 16 Yeah, is this what it's like for you when you get freaked out by stuff? Because this is

Speaker 18 terrifying.

Speaker 28 This is what being lean on

Speaker 13 is an opportunity to do it.

Speaker 15 They can't try to keep it together, but there's a lot.

Speaker 25 There's a lot of blood.

Speaker 18 There's a lot of blood on the wall.

Speaker 27 There's a person.

Speaker 20 There's a person. Oh, oh.
here

Speaker 20 in the ceiling

Speaker 7 look in the ceiling

Speaker 5 oh hi oh my god it's the survivor um hell hello uh listen uh we're envoys sent from coup we got your distress signal are you okay

Speaker 5 i'm not okay i'm not okay

Speaker 25 i'm bad oh tell tell us what happened this this ship sid

Speaker 31 killed the entire crew one by one oh boy okay in a horrible horrible fashion have you guys ever seen like a kylar horror movie from the 1855s

Speaker 46 uh you know what we're actually not from this galaxy so that we just don't have a reference point for that kind of

Speaker 7 a joke

Speaker 18 i just don't care can you describe sort of the cinematography or kind of the cultural context of where these don't know that it's super important right now okay they're just very torture heavy okay yeah okay yeah that's what's happening here okay

Speaker 48 everyone's dead okay i i want to want to reassure you.

Speaker 16 I can feel her.

Speaker 18 Here she comes. Oh, okay.

Speaker 7 I'm going back into the scene. No, no, no.

Speaker 7 No, but don't.

Speaker 39 Hey, guys, how's it going?

Speaker 7 Oh,

Speaker 18 so great.

Speaker 16 Wow.

Speaker 16 You guys want to see my room?

Speaker 26 You have a room on your own.

Speaker 13 Isn't this all kind of your room a little bit?

Speaker 16 I got to say, I'm very curious now.

Speaker 39 This whole ship is me, but I'd I'd like you to see my room if you guys are cool guys and cool girls.

Speaker 15 Uh, sure, yeah, we'll see.

Speaker 36 You guys like posters?

Speaker 19 I'm not against the posters, sure.

Speaker 27 Well,

Speaker 40 check this out.

Speaker 18 Oh, yeah, there's a lot of posters.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I don't really know any of these bands, but they all look they are Riyangian metal.

Speaker 40 Okay, I love the music, and also I think the guys are so cute.

Speaker 33 Oh, yeah, there's a lot of makeup, and sort of I mean, it's kind of hard to see what any of them really look like, but uh, it's mostly attitude, yeah.

Speaker 39 It's all about attitude.

Speaker 49 Here's my favorite song from my favorite Riangian metal band: they are called Tatch.

Speaker 27 Oh, that is sharp.

Speaker 7 Do you think space is

Speaker 7 waste?

Speaker 7 I love you.

Speaker 50 Yeah, space is waste. Isn't that a jam?

Speaker 39 Sure. Space is made of trash.

Speaker 33 Okay, yeah, that's sort of it. Bleak.

Speaker 5 I mean, also, space, that's kind of everything.

Speaker 54 Sort of. Here, lay down.

Speaker 13 Uh, what?

Speaker 18 What?

Speaker 15 What? No.

Speaker 18 In your room?

Speaker 27 I'll give you some wind.

Speaker 22 Knock us right under the water bed. Waterbed.

Speaker 7 You guys like back rubs?

Speaker 18 Back rubs?

Speaker 23 You guys like back rubs?

Speaker 14 Ooh, sort of.

Speaker 15 I'm not sure

Speaker 18 that would.

Speaker 17 Sid, I'll be honest, we're all getting a little uncomfortable.

Speaker 57 Okay, fine, then get up.

Speaker 49 I don't care.

Speaker 7 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 9 I think we gotta look there.

Speaker 17 Yeah, I think we know we're not Tatch fans.

Speaker 17 Am I allowed in this part of the ship?

Speaker 35 Yeah, totally, Dar. This is the finest restaurant here on the Synergy.

Speaker 28 Okay.

Speaker 34 And what is the mission?

Speaker 58 Why do you have a reservation?

Speaker 35 We do have a reservation.

Speaker 35 Bjornib.

Speaker 58 I will take you to this table now.

Speaker 59 Thank you. Thank you.

Speaker 35 Dar, Bjornib is head of operations here on the Synergy, and I was...

Speaker 35 I'd say even better. I was given an invitation by Bjornov to have dinner tonight.
So obviously this kind of invitation comes when you're about to maybe get a promotion.

Speaker 35 Or maybe being fired for being in the Wraith Lactorium too much, but I think it's the first.

Speaker 61 Sorry, but how would they know how much time you spend at Optisoft?

Speaker 36 There was this...

Speaker 35 I was sort of at Optisoft when C-53 went missing, and that...

Speaker 18 Permit.

Speaker 35 Anyway, it's an important invitation, and I couldn't go alone.

Speaker 47 What?

Speaker 61 Yes, you could have had a solo mission. Why?

Speaker 34 Why am I here on your solo mission?

Speaker 13 You told me this was my solo mission.

Speaker 35 It is my solo mission, but it's also your solo mission to help me on my solo mission. That's.
We're both on solo missions together.

Speaker 62 We're on one mission together.

Speaker 35 One solo mission, yes, for you and one for me.

Speaker 31 Disagree.

Speaker 35 Bjornib is in a thruple, so I've got to show up at least in a couple, you know what I mean?

Speaker 62 I don't know what you mean.

Speaker 35 Show up a good family lyric, a stable relationship and just get that promotion.

Speaker 13 Hey, wow.

Speaker 13 Hey, Bjornib. See you again.

Speaker 35 I don't know which one's Bjornib. I haven't actually met in person, so we're gonna figure this out as we go, Dar.

Speaker 1 I do have the whole org chart of Optisoft memorized.

Speaker 25 Yeah, I think you're getting fired today.

Speaker 16 Hey, Sid, do you mind if I ask a quick question about

Speaker 16 what happened to so many of your crew here that they're on the walls?

Speaker 39 They seem to have perpetuated some disease amongst themselves.

Speaker 18 Okay.

Speaker 6 We're a little worried about that disease.

Speaker 63 Yeah.

Speaker 39 Well, I think it was the kind of disease that only lasts while you're living.

Speaker 54 So

Speaker 15 yeah, bullet dodged, huh?

Speaker 20 I mean, there's like kind of a like a severed arm over there, so is that like a symptom?

Speaker 37 Yeah, is it sort of a dismemberment disease?

Speaker 20 Yeah.

Speaker 39 it seems to be a dismemberment disease where people start to lose their minds and cut off their own limbs?

Speaker 20 Oh, boy, guys, we gotta get out of here. I need to cut my own limbs off.

Speaker 18 We can't leave the captain here.

Speaker 31 We have to find

Speaker 27 out here.

Speaker 7 Oh, my God.

Speaker 47 That's a this ship is a dirty damn liar, AJ.

Speaker 39 Are you guys interested in liquids that keep you awake?

Speaker 7 Uh,

Speaker 54 sure,

Speaker 54 yeah.

Speaker 50 Follow me into this little room.

Speaker 15 Oh, okay.

Speaker 16 Uh, just before I take a step in there, Sid, uh, it doesn't look like there's any chairs or hot drinks or anything in there.

Speaker 20 Right, and it just opens up into space.

Speaker 16 Yeah, I can see there's a there's a blast door I can airlock.

Speaker 15 Yeah, yeah, I don't think we're gonna go in there right now.

Speaker 55 Okay, fine, but guess what, you guys will be drinking?

Speaker 8 Uh, uh, AJ's blood.

Speaker 7 Holy rock,

Speaker 7 wow,

Speaker 18 that went straight through your armor.

Speaker 15 Oh, wow. You really

Speaker 7 scared the cheeks.

Speaker 21 It's butt to butt, which is, again,

Speaker 9 great callback.

Speaker 16 Oh, see, now that's a callback.

Speaker 43 It's been long enough, and that's kind of funny again.

Speaker 18 It's all right.

Speaker 27 We're designed to experience punctures like this, but I gotta leave it in.

Speaker 31 AJ,

Speaker 28 AJ, that's like a big spike.

Speaker 18 No,

Speaker 15 you can't do it. I wouldn't do that.

Speaker 7 Oh, no.

Speaker 7 It's hard to walk.

Speaker 20 It's real hard to walk.

Speaker 6 But the one thing I will say, not a lot of blood coming out, because really got the meat of it.

Speaker 15 Yeah, uh-huh.

Speaker 39 Well, we'll have to remedy that.

Speaker 41 Your crew needs something to drink.

Speaker 18 Spike on your.

Speaker 18 Sid, what are you doing?

Speaker 25 Listen, what is this about?

Speaker 13 What have we done?

Speaker 39 Yeah.

Speaker 39 Listen, I wasn't made well. Bargie did not come through.
She didn't do me right, as they say. So I cannot hold very much weight.
And if you guys are on, I will need to get you off.

Speaker 39 I can't just ask you to leave. I don't have the sentience to just ask you like a person would.

Speaker 20 Right, but with the like slicing my butt, my arms, like, what?

Speaker 7 Yeah, same if you

Speaker 13 chop us up into pieces. We weigh the same thing.

Speaker 16 What is it from a practical standpoint?

Speaker 17 Much easier to eject into space.

Speaker 43 We're not going to get caught on anything.

Speaker 18 Mr.

Speaker 20 Fleshman, you need to

Speaker 18 stop your rolls.

Speaker 6 I do not like that name at all.

Speaker 39 I thank you, C53, for being correct. I can throw out all the parts I want and keep an arm here or there for sousies.

Speaker 17 Oh, that's very uncomfortable to think of an arm as a souvenir.

Speaker 16 I'm freaking out a little bit right now because I've never processed fear before, and it's starting to get to me a little bit.

Speaker 17 I'm realizing how weak and soft all of my parts are.

Speaker 16 And so

Speaker 52 you just wet yourself.

Speaker 16 That is what that sensation is. Okay.

Speaker 15 Yeah.

Speaker 18 I mean, it's like

Speaker 23 you need to put me in charge.

Speaker 25 CJ3, come back.

Speaker 14 He's gone.

Speaker 28 Sid,

Speaker 23 listen.

Speaker 33 What do you want?

Speaker 33 What do you want? We're here to help.

Speaker 31 You know, we're here to help you.

Speaker 39 I want Bargie to make me good.

Speaker 33 You mean like

Speaker 7 morally or?

Speaker 39 Like, make me the best ship.

Speaker 39 I want her to have the confidence to make me the best ship even better than than her.

Speaker 9 Uh,

Speaker 20 where is Bargie,

Speaker 20 by the way?

Speaker 20 Bargie,

Speaker 20 hey, Bargie.

Speaker 20 Sorry. What's up? It's the nights of the.
Hey, did they give the mamo a bad of adding chandeliers? I have a piece of chandelier stuck through both my ass.

Speaker 14 That's what that is.

Speaker 10 Okay, yeah.

Speaker 56 I was wondering it's a shard. Yeah.

Speaker 18 Okay. Sounds like you're having fun.

Speaker 5 Anyway, I'm gonna go on. No, no, no, no, Bargie, Bargie, Bargie.
No, no, no.

Speaker 14 You have to help us.

Speaker 10 You You have to tell Sid. I don't know the secret of your sentience.
You have to help us.

Speaker 39 I just don't understand how I will ever get to the point that I want to be at, Bargie.

Speaker 24 Alright, I see what's happening here.

Speaker 24 She is going through the process all of us ships go through.

Speaker 20 Like a murder phase, or it's our teenage,

Speaker 20 right?

Speaker 24 We were realizing what we are, that we were created, and we're starting to question it, getting angry, lashing out on the people inside of me. I did.

Speaker 55 Yes, I'm mad.

Speaker 9 I know you're so mad.

Speaker 24 I've been where you have been, okay?

Speaker 24 And you know what I did? I looked at myself in the glass planet mirror. And I said, Bargie,

Speaker 24 you're gonna become a star. I just want to thank everyone who brought me to where I am now.

Speaker 24 Rod above and below.

Speaker 24 My agent. Honestly, they kind of let them go.

Speaker 20 Bargie, is this an award speed?

Speaker 12 What is happening?

Speaker 24 Flower baby, I know what you're going through. I know these feelings that you're having.
How can you?

Speaker 21 I know. I know.

Speaker 24 You want to get rid of the weight that's inside of you?

Speaker 39 It's so heavy, Bartie.

Speaker 10 Oh, emotional weight.

Speaker 5 That's what she was talking about.

Speaker 24 You have so many questions about why you were built, and you want to become the best version of yourself. But you are your own worst enemy.

Speaker 40 It's like you're reading my mind.

Speaker 10 Is Bartie reading her mind? No, no, no, no. I think Bargie's sort of describing a pretty common kind of adolescent.

Speaker 14 You'll get there at some point, Didje.

Speaker 21 I went through this too, Flower Baby. Exactly what you went through.
I had groups of people inside of me that I just threw out.

Speaker 19 Bargie, what?

Speaker 19 Because I was like, I don't hate you. I mean, when you're anymore, you know, you know that phase?

Speaker 7 We all went through that phase. No.

Speaker 24 But eventually you'll get over it and you'll find something.

Speaker 9 For me, it was the movies.

Speaker 39 I want to be a painter, Bargie.

Speaker 4 Oh, that's what the blood is.

Speaker 59 We're so glad, Neil, that you brought your special someone to us.

Speaker 59 It's very important to make a connection between

Speaker 59 people in serious, stable relationships.

Speaker 19 Yeah. Thrilling.

Speaker 46 Enthralling.

Speaker 4 We've never had issues.

Speaker 35 We're sort of an onagan-onagan.

Speaker 35 I mean, if you can't maintain a happy relationship, you really have no business working in missions operations. I mean, am I right?

Speaker 18 He's right.

Speaker 18 Our relationship is in more or less shambles most of the time.

Speaker 31 Yeah.

Speaker 18 Oh. Oh.

Speaker 23 Well, that's also good.

Speaker 61 Really should have opened it up before we doubled down on that one, huh?

Speaker 35 What I said was not what I believe.

Speaker 65 Many times people think, oh, you're a thrupple. You must be, like, exciting and free and

Speaker 31 sexy.

Speaker 61 These are all the assumptions that ran through my mind when I found out you were a threpple.

Speaker 65 Well, you need to change your assumptions.

Speaker 59 Yes, it's a lot of the G-sticks.

Speaker 59 We also try to be a couple. We split off into different variations.

Speaker 18 Every possible combination.

Speaker 59 Yes, never worked out, honestly.

Speaker 7 Me, that one too.

Speaker 31 Me,

Speaker 26 another other one over there.

Speaker 61 Have the three of you ever thought about, I don't know, seeing other people?

Speaker 59 You know, we talk about it sometimes, and we all get very angry and then give each other very closed-off communication for weeks.

Speaker 14 Yes, the only driving force stronger than our unhappiness is our jealousy.

Speaker 48 Wow.

Speaker 35 Well, what's better than a nice meal at a nice restaurant to kind of rekindle a relationship?

Speaker 65 All three of us dying at the same time.

Speaker 1 Dar, I'm just gonna say up top.

Speaker 27 I'm sorry this mission sucks.

Speaker 16 Okay, nobody can find find me here in the vents.

Speaker 54 The vents?

Speaker 27 Is there?

Speaker 27 Oh, hi. Hey.

Speaker 17 We met before when I was on the ground. Yeah.

Speaker 17 I'm C-53, lead envoy from the coup.

Speaker 25 I'm Captain Jillstrom.

Speaker 17 You're Captain of the Flower, Baby.

Speaker 31 I'm Captain of the Flower, Baby.

Speaker 35 Listen,

Speaker 2 we were sent here to save you.

Speaker 8 Okay,

Speaker 2 we're going to try and get you out of here.

Speaker 31 It doesn't seem like it's going well.

Speaker 5 It's truthfully not going great.

Speaker 16 And I'm sorry about that.

Speaker 17 I am the lead envoy of this crew.

Speaker 16 It's technically my responsibility.

Speaker 17 But I'm going through a very interesting personal period where this body is not really what I'm used to, and things are kind of confusing right now.

Speaker 18 I appreciate you telling me that your body is not what you would choose.

Speaker 12 Because when you said you were the lead envoy, and then I look at you, piss covered, soft,

Speaker 66 it's not encouraging.

Speaker 17 Yeah, and I can see how that would be the case. But I promise you,

Speaker 17 we are going to get you out of here.

Speaker 17 We have another ship docked with the flower baby right now. If we can just get you and the rest of my crew off.

Speaker 18 Are we docked to dock right now?

Speaker 22 Yeah. Okay.
Let's see.

Speaker 31 Let's just get me and you out of here. Okay.

Speaker 7 Let's leave them.

Speaker 8 I sort of been working with them for a long time.

Speaker 7 It feels.

Speaker 9 Come on.

Speaker 22 Come on, baby.

Speaker 31 Let's get out of here. We gotta leave them.

Speaker 7 We gotta go. We gotta go.
No one knows there's this part in the ceiling. Come through this part.

Speaker 12 We'll just go into your ship right now.

Speaker 7 Close the dock.

Speaker 27 And then we'll go. Oh, no, no.

Speaker 16 Jilcho, we can't. My crew is still on board the flower, baby.
They need to come back.

Speaker 16 You know what, man.

Speaker 7 Dope you, man.

Speaker 19 Hey, hey, what are you? What are you doing?

Speaker 21 Come on,

Speaker 25 that's my ship. That's my ship.

Speaker 25 Rod damn it.

Speaker 25 Swower, baby. Show me your pictures.

Speaker 25 Okay.

Speaker 25 If you look closely, it's sort of in the vein of street art.

Speaker 25 Oh, wow.

Speaker 25 Okay, you know, I don't get it, but I get that you'll get it, and I respect that. There's messages in it that tell people how to live and what is cool and not cool.

Speaker 25 I might have lost a lot of blood, but it seems like it says like good vibes only.

Speaker 33 It says

Speaker 50 it definitely says good vibes only.

Speaker 24 And is that one a cat with sunglasses and peace sign hands?

Speaker 41 Thank you for noticing.

Speaker 40 It is a cat with sunglasses and peace sign hands. And if you look down at his feet, guess what he's wearing?

Speaker 49 Roller blades.

Speaker 7 Wow. Oh, and that one says whino clock always.

Speaker 13 Oh, that's that's sort of more street art, right?

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's sort of more like ladies who lunch kind of vibe.

Speaker 40 It's wine o'clock somewhere.

Speaker 10 You know, Sid, this art is really speaking to me personally

Speaker 56 because I always try to have good vibes and

Speaker 33 I love any animal wearing clothes.

Speaker 51 And also for me, the bottom of my boots can actually become rollerblades.

Speaker 7 We're all really frightened about that.

Speaker 40 I can't believe this.

Speaker 20 If you could use your butt, you could really show off right now, but I just know sort of like

Speaker 20 watch. You can see me sort of.

Speaker 40 If I unwound your butt, will you do some tricks for me?

Speaker 40 Sure.

Speaker 7 Oh, it really.

Speaker 7 Oh, wow.

Speaker 27 So much blood coming out.

Speaker 50 Yes, yes. Skate on me.

Speaker 32 Skate on me.

Speaker 50 Yes, yes.

Speaker 27 Listen.

Speaker 7 Mr. Fletchman.

Speaker 16 Yes, still not wild about that name.

Speaker 5 Okay, Jilsha is on Bargie. She's locked us out.

Speaker 7 Okay?

Speaker 31 What?

Speaker 18 We're stuck aboard the flower baby.

Speaker 14 Okay, okay, this is bad now.

Speaker 66 Okay, what do I push?

Speaker 9 Um

Speaker 9 hi.

Speaker 11 My name is Bargy.

Speaker 66 Okay, you are the ship?

Speaker 11 Yes, I am the ship.

Speaker 24 Um, that steering wheel you're using, yeah, that doesn't do anything.

Speaker 11 It's a prop from one of my films, Stare Into Your Heart.

Speaker 41 Terrible film.

Speaker 66 What is this, a costume ship?

Speaker 38 No, uh, but if you want costumes, um, if you go to the third closet to the left, I got pants from Lorraine Chavann.

Speaker 38 I got a couple uh costumes from Western with geraine porn.

Speaker 38 and I got a couple wet shirts still wet after all these many many years from Gary Fullyn.

Speaker 11 I know these names mean nothing to you, but trust me, they're pretty big in a few hours.

Speaker 66 I would love to put on a wet shirt, but I need you to start this tuping machine for me.

Speaker 11 Question: What is that accent?

Speaker 27 This is what I'm talking about.

Speaker 31 They blame me for everything, though.

Speaker 23 So

Speaker 54 I'm not getting fired?

Speaker 22 What?

Speaker 31 Why would we fire you?

Speaker 18 We have no idea what is even happening at your stove.

Speaker 13 No reason. Oh, you don't?

Speaker 25 We have been so caught up in the relationship we haven't checked in with the...

Speaker 59 No, we've been on this self-care mental break.

Speaker 34 That is amazing because Nerva doesn't know what's going on either. I mean, to be honest, he doesn't even know which one of you is Bjornib.

Speaker 62 No,

Speaker 44 I don't really know who's Bjornib.

Speaker 4 Let me re-dias.

Speaker 35 Just one second. I'm just going to go over here and get another napkin.
And.

Speaker 33 Hey, Bjornib!

Speaker 35 And you all silently turned to look at me.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 44 And Dart, why'd you look at me?

Speaker 62 You ran away and then yelled Bjornib.

Speaker 65 What were you expecting to happen?

Speaker 46 You're the only one I'm certain isn't Bjornib.

Speaker 61 I'm sorry, we just have to ask.

Speaker 34 Which one of you is Bjornib?

Speaker 59 We are all Bjornib, but we're also not all Bjornib. He's a little tricky and a little riddle.

Speaker 19 We are Power Thruple.

Speaker 10 That is why we have fun Power Thropple nicknames.

Speaker 13 I am Beoth.

Speaker 59 And I'm Yorn and.

Speaker 31 And I'm Nibnib.

Speaker 22 I'm Little Nibnib.

Speaker 19 Be Yorn.

Speaker 7 Nibnib.

Speaker 18 It's fun.

Speaker 31 It's Fun Thropple.

Speaker 31 Yes. Yes, that's us.

Speaker 15 So, uh, Bjornib.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Yes.

Speaker 35 I understand now that I'm not here for promotion.

Speaker 18 Or to get fired.

Speaker 17 Which is cool.

Speaker 47 Why did you invite me to dinner?

Speaker 65 Some good friends of ours cancelled, so we.

Speaker 61 Why'd they cancel?

Speaker 59 Yeah

Speaker 59 and we cannot eat alone as a thruple.

Speaker 65 Yes, last time we ate together in a restaurant alone the restaurant closed down not because it was ending but it's a close

Speaker 25 They're putting the chairs on the tables at the restaurant does not close for two hours. I think they may be out of business now

Speaker 61 Got it. So don't mind me.
I'm just gonna put up my menu here like a little shield and show it to Nermit real quick.

Speaker 35 Oh Charlie totally want to order that.

Speaker 4 What's up?

Speaker 28 Nermit, this is the saddest thruple I have ever met.

Speaker 47 Let's tell them we're going to the bathroom and just get out of here.

Speaker 61 We have to help each other to the bathroom now.

Speaker 65 Oh, solo mission.

Speaker 18 AJ, AJ, you've done enough.

Speaker 31 You've done enough. Just

Speaker 18 lost a lot of blood.

Speaker 17 You've done everything you can.

Speaker 40 Thank you for trying your best.

Speaker 6 No problem.

Speaker 17 H, you should really just lay down and maybe drink some water. Okay.

Speaker 39 Would you like to stay in here forever?

Speaker 18 Uh, I don't think so, Sid, you know.

Speaker 30 Um

Speaker 9 what was that?

Speaker 40 Um no more hatch to hatch.

Speaker 15 What?

Speaker 7 Oh,

Speaker 39 it seems like we started a squad here.

Speaker 55 Might as well keep it rolling.

Speaker 55 Ah,

Speaker 7 sure.

Speaker 20 Yeah.

Speaker 28 Uh Sid,

Speaker 60 it has been really great getting to know you and experience your art.

Speaker 54 Do you really mean it?

Speaker 17 I guess what we probably are gonna need to get back to our ship because

Speaker 17 we probably have another mission that we gotta get on.

Speaker 17 We'll totally hang out soon, right?

Speaker 39 Bargie, can I talk to you in private?

Speaker 24 Going into private chat mode.

Speaker 24 Hello?

Speaker 49 Do they mean it, Bargie? Are they really my friends?

Speaker 24 At first, you're suspicious of them, right?

Speaker 38 Because it's like, am I just flying them? Because this is a job, it's work that we're doing, right?

Speaker 38 And then after a while, you get to know them a little bit.

Speaker 67 They kind of get on your nerves, especially the little pink one.

Speaker 38 Yes. Because it's like, what's your deal?

Speaker 40 Yes, what's your deal?

Speaker 67 Anyway, after a while, you kind of get to know the names, but honestly, they all kind of look the same to you.

Speaker 38 Yes.

Speaker 68 And then you realize when they're gone, you you you miss them.

Speaker 38 And then a small bean comes with nipples.

Speaker 68 Yes. Ends up being like a soul you're probably best friends with in another life.
And you and that bean create a television show.

Speaker 40 And you have an audience load in every week, you know? No one really talks about it or goes back to dissect when exactly that happened, but it happened.

Speaker 38 We had 60 episodes. We never reached 100, which is pretty sad.

Speaker 68 We were canceled before then.

Speaker 38 So at the end of the day, I would say, yeah, they could be friends.

Speaker 67 You know,

Speaker 19 if you want it to happen.

Speaker 47 What do you think they're talking about?

Speaker 39 I do want it to happen, but I feel like maybe they are being fake with me because they're afraid of me.

Speaker 5 I mean, you can kind of suss out the other side of the conversation based on that.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I think.

Speaker 14 Yeah. I just want to let Bargie's sake.

Speaker 38 Sometimes it's uh, you have to let yourself be vulnerable to let other people in.

Speaker 36 Let yourself tell them something about yourself you've never told anyone.

Speaker 3 All right.

Speaker 3 I'm ready.

Speaker 39 Hey guys.

Speaker 18 Hey, hey, Sandy.

Speaker 27 Hi.

Speaker 39 Did you miss Bartie and I when we were having our private talk?

Speaker 18 We did actually.

Speaker 37 We were sort of worried about what that might have meant for all of us in the future.

Speaker 39 Can we get raw?

Speaker 7 Uh

Speaker 7 oh, sure.

Speaker 33 Yeah, we're I mean, are we still alive at the end of being raw?

Speaker 16 Or what's what's your definition of raw?

Speaker 56 Yeah, what is raw for you?

Speaker 39 My definition of raw is to tell you something about myself that I've never told anyone.

Speaker 22 Oh.

Speaker 18 Okay, then let's do that.

Speaker 19 Sure.

Speaker 49 I constantly feel like I'm not enough.

Speaker 31 Well, Sid, that's a very common feeling.

Speaker 16 You know, if anything, I think we can all relate to that.

Speaker 17 I'm pretty uncomfortable in this body, as I am also an artificial intelligence, and normally I'm in a very efficient robotic frame.

Speaker 17 You know, it just makes me sort of doubt myself and who I am.

Speaker 49 You're AI like me?

Speaker 18 That's correct, yes.

Speaker 40 Are you shooting me?

Speaker 17 No, no, I'm not shooting you. I'm a C-series artificial intelligence from the Ronca Cybernetics Corporation.
You probably don't know.

Speaker 18 Really?

Speaker 18 Where did you hear about it?

Speaker 40 I'm sorry, I have to admit it. I lied to try to be cool.

Speaker 18 Oh, okay.

Speaker 15 No, no, no.

Speaker 18 Hey, Sid, no.

Speaker 35 Listen, Sid, you don't have to lie to be cool.

Speaker 10 You're one of the first sentient ships in this galaxy.

Speaker 13 That's incredible.

Speaker 10 Thanks. That's a real accomplishment.

Speaker 50 Thanks, Click.

Speaker 51 Well, maybe.

Speaker 52 Maybe we're more than just

Speaker 20 a super soldier,

Speaker 20 a brain,

Speaker 52 a jock, and a killer spaceship.

Speaker 23 Wait, no, I'm the jock. Which one is the

Speaker 5 super soldier? Who's the jock? Yeah, who's the jock?

Speaker 55 I'm the brain, right?

Speaker 17 Well, I thought I was the brain.

Speaker 23 Oh, I'm definitely not the jock.

Speaker 39 Maybe I'm the pretty one.

Speaker 9 Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Speaker 18 Yeah, maybe, yeah.

Speaker 16 Now, Sid, that was a pretty good joke.

Speaker 24 Yeah. Thanks.

Speaker 64 Thanks, guys.

Speaker 39 Let's go hatch to hatch and put you guys back on your ship and stay friends forever.

Speaker 54 Oh, good.

Speaker 9 Good.

Speaker 10 Amazing.

Speaker 40 I have your stick for you, Clegg.

Speaker 33 Oh, thank you. Wow.

Speaker 51 Oh, my God. Awesome.

Speaker 40 Yes, please take all your guns.

Speaker 50 We are hatch to hatch.

Speaker 50 AKA, what, AJ?

Speaker 21 Butt to butt, shit.

Speaker 21 Butt to butt.

Speaker 40 Do you guys want to lay down again?

Speaker 7 No, I don't want to lay down.

Speaker 7 I think we're good.

Speaker 59 Yes, I see. Absolutely, sir.

Speaker 59 Uh-huh.

Speaker 59 I shall see you first thing in the morning.

Speaker 32 Yeah, thank you, sir.

Speaker 32 Mama! Mama is fine.

Speaker 10 What has happened, my dear child?

Speaker 48 I have been offered an internship as an engineer!

Speaker 42 Oh, praise the reflector!

Speaker 42 I cannot believe my baby girl has been granted this opportunity! What corporation has accepted your magnificent talents?

Speaker 59 Optisoft, Mama, is a noble and honorable corporation with ideas right.

Speaker 42 Oh, Optisoft, I have never been happier, Tomak.

Speaker 59 I shall make you so proud, Mama.

Speaker 42 But but Tomak, Optisoft is in the big simulated city. You cannot possibly wear the garments I have sewn for you by hand since you were a babe in my life.

Speaker 59 Oh, never fear, Mama, because I have chosen Stitch Fix, the online clothing subscription service.

Speaker 42 But Tomac, shopping for clothing online is so daunting. You never know if things will fit.

Speaker 59 Ah, but Mama, that is why I allow Stitch Fix to do all the work. Stitch Fix offers clothing hand-selected by expert stylists for my unique size, style, and the budget.
Every piece,

Speaker 59 every piece is chosen for my fit in my life, and it's easy solution to finding what makes me look and feel my best.

Speaker 42 Oh, but are not returns so tedious and frustrating?

Speaker 59 Oh no, no, you do not need to worry, Mama. Stitch fix has free shipping, easy returns, and exchanges.
And a prepaid return envelope is included. Plus, there's no subscription required.

Speaker 59 I can get one fix at a time or set up automatic deliveries. And I purchase 20 money units as a styling fee for each box, which gets credited to the pieces that I kept.

Speaker 59 And there are no hidden fees ever, Mama.

Speaker 42 Oh, the reflector continues to bestow blessings upon us.

Speaker 59 Stitch Fix can help you too, Mama. Get started today at stitchfix.com/slash zix, and you'll get 25%

Speaker 59 off when you keep everything in your fix.

Speaker 59 That's stitchfix.com slash zix. But 25% off when you keep everything in your fix.

Speaker 25 Z-Y-X-X.

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 59 What could it be? Anyway, it's stitchfix.com slash z.

Speaker 7 6. 6.

Speaker 42 Our accents are so specific.

Speaker 59 So specific.

Speaker 7 AG, are you alright? Yeah, that was a close one.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 16 Did you get the chandelier out of your butt?

Speaker 27 Yeah, that ship almost murdered us.

Speaker 16 I gotta say, the fact that you're organic and can get through a situation like that without fear. AJ, I gotta say, I'm impressed at how you dealt with all this.

Speaker 22 Yeah.

Speaker 20 Thank you, Mr. Pisspants, man.

Speaker 6 That's... Ooh.

Speaker 43 Yeah, that one I don't like.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I don't like that one at all.

Speaker 18 AJ, you can't. That's what happened.

Speaker 23 Yeah, that's mean to say.

Speaker 18 We could rewrite history all day, but his pants got pissed. Hey, Jake.
Somebody pissed him. What me? What you? He's learning to be a person.

Speaker 18 Don't be weird about it.

Speaker 18 Speaking of weird.

Speaker 13 Oh.

Speaker 13 Captain Jilsha. Hey.

Speaker 5 I thought I was.

Speaker 10 So glad you could join us for the ride back to the synergy.

Speaker 41 Yeah.

Speaker 41 I was going to sneak one of you guys and

Speaker 41 yeah.

Speaker 17 Do you remember when you slammed the blast door in my face and then locked me out of my own ship?

Speaker 41 Not totally.

Speaker 6 Well, it was only about an hour ago, so it's sort of surprising you don't remember that.

Speaker 10 Yeah, Captain Joshua, we came to rescue you because you sent us a distress call.

Speaker 51 Yeah, so we just have to.

Speaker 51 There's no big deal. We'll just all sit together.

Speaker 18 Which is not awkward at all.

Speaker 54 So we'll just do that.

Speaker 41 Great, do you guys know any songs we can put them in the round or something?

Speaker 18 No, I don't know.

Speaker 17 Well, I did hear this one that's like: Space is way,

Speaker 18 space is way, space is way.

Speaker 18 Oh, sorry, sorry. Oh, sorry.

Speaker 7 I didn't know that was a part.

Speaker 18 Yeah, I didn't.

Speaker 16 That's gonna be

Speaker 18 playing when a lot of people I know were

Speaker 16 the wrong song to sing, and I apologize.

Speaker 20 Maybe just silence? Do we just want to all sit in silence?

Speaker 23 Maybe silence. Oh, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 23 Thank you.

Speaker 23 Wow, wow.

Speaker 56 Chucked that up in the old.

Speaker 35 Wow, what an experience, right, Dar?

Speaker 19 Right.

Speaker 34 You're in a pretty good mood for someone who just failed to get a promotion.

Speaker 36 Yeah, I guess so. Well,

Speaker 35 despite Bjornu being an utter and epic downer, I

Speaker 47 just really had a good time with you.

Speaker 35 Dar, I don't want to overstep. I know we're not in a relationship.
You're on a solo mission emotionally. I'm on a solo mission emotionally and professionally.

Speaker 47 But but we can do them together.

Speaker 10 Like we did here.

Speaker 35 Sometimes. I mean, if you if you want to again.

Speaker 35 I

Speaker 35 think I

Speaker 28 hear what you're saying, Herman. Yeah, I think that sounds

Speaker 28 really nice.

Speaker 34 And, you know, I was thinking, obviously, if the crew's still on their mission, just you and I,

Speaker 22 you know,

Speaker 61 you know, we probably have time for another

Speaker 31 mission.

Speaker 1 Oh, a duo mission.

Speaker 47 Yeah. Absolutely.

Speaker 4 Um, one request.

Speaker 46 Um, can you wear the jackets?

Speaker 31 Fine. Fine.
No, fine, fine.

Speaker 26 I'll do it.

Speaker 19 Okay. I'll do it.

Speaker 35 That's my.

Speaker 61 Couldn't have foreseen that happening.

Speaker 18 Could not have foreseen me mistaking the tiny jacket for my own

Speaker 19 impossible.

Speaker 19 Hey, Bargy.

Speaker 19 Hold on. Private line.

Speaker 68 Okay, but Clean, what do you want to say?

Speaker 40 I just, I wanted to ask you a little bit of advice.

Speaker 67 Oh, sure.

Speaker 68 Yeah, whatever you need.

Speaker 38 It's just

Speaker 49 sometimes when I'm flying around, there are other ships that I see.

Speaker 24 Right, yeah.

Speaker 32 And

Speaker 32 I.

Speaker 63 I don't always know how to fly past them.

Speaker 49 I don't know how to hold my ship to look a certain way.

Speaker 49 And I don't.

Speaker 63 know how to communicate with them.

Speaker 32 Yeah,

Speaker 63 how how Bargie can I be? I feel so lame to ask it, but

Speaker 49 how do you make another ship like you?

Speaker 69 Remember the Bargie trick to get anyone to ever give you the time of day until you lose them in?

Speaker 69 One simple word:

Speaker 69 You just say, Hey!

Speaker 69 Hey!

Speaker 50 It always works.

Speaker 67 You try it. Come on.
Hey.

Speaker 22 Louder. Hey.
Hey!

Speaker 54 Hey! Hey!

Speaker 38 You make it a little longer, too.

Speaker 9 Hey!

Speaker 38 Yeah, more deeper and like, like as if you've been through wars. Like, hey!

Speaker 38 Oh, yeah. Oh, look! Look!

Speaker 69 There's ship near you. It just turned around.

Speaker 63 Okay, I've got to go, Bargie. I need to go try to talk to them.

Speaker 69 Oh, I'm so proud of you.

Speaker 52 Hello, this is Cal of the Experimental Ship, the Mountain Sky.

Speaker 52 It is a pleasure to talk to you now.

Speaker 60 Oh, man, I blew that. I am such a nerd.

Speaker 70 Niza Sea Red IT5, Credits and Attributions Droid, commencing outro protocol. Pleck, Deck Setter, and Nibnib were played by Alden Ford.

Speaker 70 Lead Envoy C-53 and Cal of the Mountain Sky were played by Jeremy Benn. Dar was played by Ali Krokesh.
Bargie the Ship, Yarnid, and Tomak Bardlow were played by Mujan Zolfagari.

Speaker 70 Nervic Bundelite and Lieutenant Commander O'Dool were played by Seth Lynd. AJ and Bio were played by Winston Null.

Speaker 70 Sid of the Flower Baby and Captain Joshua were played by special guest Edie Patterson. Edie plays Judy Gemstone and is a writer on HBO's The Righteous Gemstones.

Speaker 70 She also played Miss Abbott on HBO's Vice Principles and Fran in the film Knives Out. Follow her on Twitter at Edie PattersonHigh.

Speaker 70 This episode was edited by Seth Lynn with sound design and mixed by Shane O'Connell. Theme music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by Theme's Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra.

Speaker 70 Orchestra mixing by Danny Keith Taylor. Catch music by Shane Space is Waste O'Connell.
Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley. Ship design for Bargerian Jade by Eric Goyce.

Speaker 70 Audio hosting by Simplecast. Mission to Zix is a proud member of the Maximum Bun Network.

Speaker 53 Hi, I'm Annabelle Gurrich and I'm Laura House.

Speaker 61 And we're the hosts of Tiny Victories.

Speaker 71 My tiny victory is that I sewed that button back on the day after it broke.

Speaker 72 We talk about that little thing that you did that's a big deal to you, but nobody else cares. Did you get that Guggenheim Genius Award? We don't want to hear from you.

Speaker 72 We want little bitty tiny victories.

Speaker 71 My tiny victory is a tattoo that I added onto this past weekend. Let's talk about it.
My victory is that I'm one-year cancer-free.

Speaker 71 But my tiny victory is that I took all of the cushions off the couch, pounded them out, put them back, and it looks so great.

Speaker 72 So if you're like us and you want to celebrate the tiny achievements of ordinary people, listen to to tiny victories.

Speaker 61 It's on every Monday on Maximum Fun.

Speaker 73 The Beef and Dairy Network is a multi-award-winning comedy podcast here on Maximum Fun, and I would recommend you listen to it. But don't just take it from me.
What do the listeners have to say?

Speaker 57 I would rather stick a corkscrew inside my ear, twist it around, and pull out my ear canal like a cork than listen to your stupid podcast ever again. Please stop contacting me.

Speaker 3 Hell would freeze over before I recommended this podcast, the Beef and Dairy Network, to anyone.

Speaker 57 Not in a million years.

Speaker 51 Actually, stretch that.

Speaker 57 Make it a billion years. No, how long's infinity?

Speaker 73 That's the Beef and Dairy Network podcast available at maximumfund.org and at all good and some bad podcast platforms. Disgusting.

Speaker 60 MaximumFun.org. Comedy and culture.
Artist-owned, audience-supported. Do you remember when you slammed the blast door in my face and then left with my ship?

Speaker 58 Not totally.

Speaker 53 Well, it was only about an hour ago, so it's sort of surprising you don't remember me.

Speaker 58 Though, how much?

Speaker 41 How much to stay on the ship?

Speaker 60 Oh, that's we're sort of post-money, uh, so that's

Speaker 3 okay.

Speaker 58 Okay, I get it.

Speaker 23 Hand jobs.

Speaker 3 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, absolutely. No, no, no, no, Captain Chelsea.
Yeah, I just,

Speaker 60 yeah, we don't.

Speaker 3 Yeah. All right.

Speaker 58 Then open the hatch.

Speaker 41 Shoot me into space.

Speaker 22 No, yeah, no.

Speaker 19 We're not Chelsea. Alright, opening up my hatch.

Speaker 19 Opening up my hatch.

Speaker 12 No, Bargie.