The Greeflax Hour

And that was going out to Cargon as an apology for wrecking his wife's hyperdrive.

Cargon, I hope she takes you back.

You're up late with Grief Lax.

It's late out now.

It's Grief Lax.

We're doing dedications all night long, so please call in and let's see if Greeflax can help you out.

Hello, caller.

You're on the air with Greeflax.

What's your name?

Window, why don't you tell us what's going on?

You know how you're sometimes your best friend marries somebody and then you make out with them at the wedding?

Now, just to be clear, you make out with the best friend or the person your best friend was marrying.

Yeah.

Both.

Which both.

Well,

that

surely is a quandary, Winga.

I'm trying to think, what kind of song can apologize to two people at the same time?

Now, Winga, this is not the first time I've heard this particular tale of woe, so...

I think I might just have the perfect song for you.

Going out.

Going out to the bride and groom, who I hope are tuned into this show at their reception, it's three times three equals you and me.

And we're clear.

Good stuff, Gray Flax.

Thank you, Deve.

You know, a guy makes out with a bride and groom and assumes that's the first time I've ever had that caller.

I mean, how long have we been doing this, Deve?

Oh, man, decades, my friend.

Yeah, so.

This is our first, uh, first asteroid shower, you know.

Yeah, you you're not kidding.

I sit here in the booth, I tear my nuts out when I hear people call in in talking about their infidelities and their mistakes and their love triangles and their

regrets and their

owners.

And they're in their anger, and their

long-distance relationships,

their daddy issues, their forgotten anniversaries,

and their romantic feelings towards their dad.

We've got another caller coming in here, huh?

Great flex.

Okay, just five seconds.

Count me in, Dee.

Welcome back to Greflax Hour.

That was three times three equals you and me.

Winka, I hope that smoothed things over.

Caller, you're on the line with Greeflax.

It's Greeflax.

What's going on?

Okay, having a little translation issue.

Just gonna see if Deeve could dial that in.

I'm not familiar with this language, Greeflex.

I've never heard this before in my life.

That's all right, Deeve.

No need to panic.

Let's just give it a few seconds, see if we can.

Hello?

All right.

Hello?

Hello?

Yes.

Yes, we can.

Hello, you're talking to Grieflex.

This is Rolfus Tittle.

And this is a distress call.

A distress call from the Bargerian Jade, code 5945.

Hello?

All right, listeners, we've got Sisu and Rolfus on the line who say they're having some distress.

Well, Sisu and Rolfus, you're on the line with Grieflex.

Well, the biggest distress at the moment is we're not exactly sure where we are.

Last we were in the Allweed.

We were thrown from the Allweed.

You know, it's natural to be distressed when you and your partner aren't sure where you are in your relationship.

It might have been a dimensional rip or hole.

We're not exactly sure what happened.

Right.

Sure, sure.

Grieflex has hurt it all.

Now, Rolfus, let me ask you, where do you think you are?

well i mean that's why we're i mean i'm on the bargerian jade i'm doing a distress call shift with sisu here everyone else is asleep if i knew where i was we wouldn't be doing any of that uh-huh and what does sisu mean to you

what what i said what does sisu mean to you rolfus what

what what i

the connection i'm just gonna break it great the connection is perfect there's no they're hearing you i'm positive

all right well sometimes they might need a moment to collect their feelings i'll go back to you sisu what does rolfus mean to you

i mean well at this point in time

rollfus is helping me make a distress call we used to be married okay

we used to be married we were co-workers and it became something deeper and we had a lasting relationship i thought would be forever but apparently not we've been through a lot lot.

I mean, this one time we were at a wedding, and I ended up making out with

her and

her best friend.

And it was,

I mean,

that was really hard to get through.

Well, no doubt.

Yeah.

But why, Martha, Wolfus?

I don't know.

She laughed at my jokes.

You never did.

And I'm funny.

I'm a funny guy.

Okay, okay.

Why don't I step in here for a second?

Now,

I can hear that the two of you are very passionate about the other person.

Is that fair to say?

That's right.

I can feel the old heat back when we were in this.

Again, it's a strange dimensional warp.

We're not exactly sure where we were spit out of.

It exploded, so I mean, we're just glad that we're not dead because we that was kind of a prevailing theory for a while.

Sure, look, I will admit our

sexual tension is palpable, hot, hot, hot.

Palpable.

Okay,

and I've not been able to find someone whose heat can

rival?

Oh, sorry.

Sorry, go ahead.

Could rival that of Rolfus, but it does not mean that we're a good match.

I'm one of a kind, baby.

And again, just any supplies?

Again, if we could pinpoint our coordinates, triangulate them somehow.

Well, Rolfus, let me tell you what I hear as Gray Gray Flax,

you know, a romantic advice host for,

well, who knows how many years.

What?

You two say you have some problems, but let's be honest.

You're together right now, and you called in

together.

Great, we're switching off on the distress call.

Right, I mean, did we choose to be paired with each other?

Yes, it's because we're.

Why did we choose to be paired with each other, Rolfus?

Interesting question, Rolfus.

What's your answer?

It's our shift.

We tagged out C-53 and Dar, and I mean, I wasn't going to be with AJ, and...

And I wasn't going to be with Nermit.

There's a weird energy between us right now.

He's too needy.

He's too needy.

So just to set the scene, it's the two of you in the dark of a starship, all alone together.

Yeah, I think that's space.

Can we also say that we're adrift in space and we don't know where we are?

And it's not a good idea.

I think that was implied by Starship.

Was it?

So, my advice is to grab a bottle of Denubrian wine, just let the soft glow of the console illuminate the room and drift off with the skies the limit.

Will that help you find us?

What is that?

Is that code?

What is the sky's the limit?

By the Cosmosians.

And we're clear.

Wow!

Man,

real goofballs.

Yeah, a couple of crazy kids.

Don't they can't they tell they're in love?

Can't they just admit it to each other and to themselves and to the world?

The galaxy?

I think it's pretty clear those two kids are well, they've got bad.

Hey, so Deeve, tell me, uh,

how'd it work out with that young thing you were talking about last week?

Oh, Jimmy?

Yeah.

Oh, she said we needed to take a break.

She said I spent too much time in the booth.

This booth.

I'm so sorry.

Yeah.

You want me to dedicate one to her when we get back?

Or?

Wish I could call you and tell you all about it, and then you could play it, and then she would hear it.

Deeve, but you know, I don't want to tell you what to do, but if you need to call into the show, call into the show.

You know, Reflex,

I talk a lot about how I resent all of these callers, and

turns out

I made some mistakes.

Oh, we gotta call.

We're back.

It's five.

Alright, come here.

Three.

Two.

That was The Sky's the Limit by the Cosmosians.

We've got a new caller on the line.

Caller, you're on with Grieflax and the Greeflax Hour.

What's going on?

Why did you hang up on us?

We are lost in space.

Tell us where to go.

Help us, please.

This is a distress call.

Okay, so it sounds like the sky's the limit wasn't the right one.

Once again, you're listening to the Grieflax Hour.

It's It's Greeflox.

We're talking love.

Unfortunately, love don't pay the bills, but you know who does?

What?

One of our fine sponsors.

No.

Now more than ever, storytellers and content creators are challenged with producing more content at a higher quality than ever before.

Keep up with the growing demands for modern video content without sacrificing your vision with stock media from Storyblocks.

Like the music in this very commercial, for example.

Explore their library and subscribe today at storyblocks.com/slash zix.

Clean day, clean day, clean day.

Are you ready to get on annoying?

This weekend at the Vergo, 50 of the best monster speeders in the galaxy go hand to hand.

Featuring the toughest, loudest, most radioactive speeders in the cosmos!

Sugarnot, the monk mush squeebulator, and the rain champion, the Thunderhedron.

Wasn't that convincing?

There's no monster speeder rally.

This is still part of the commercial.

The Storyblocks, dedicated to being the galaxy's best Royalty Free Stock Me and the subscription service.

This music is from Storyblock.

This explosion is from Storyblock.

Thunder of Thunderhedron is from Storyblocks.

Storyblocks.com/slash six.

have you been injured in an accident?

Harassed at a restaurant?

Annoyed in your own home?

Lost on a lonely highway?

Confused by popular culture?

Fooled by a fake law firm commercial?

You may be entitled to unlimited downloads of everything in Storyblocks' library with the Storyblocks Unlimited All Access Plan.

Storyblocks has an ever-growing library with over 1 million high-quality stock assets, including 4K/slash HD footage, After Effects and Premiere pro templates music images sound effects and more make your own fake law firm commercials speeder rally announcements whatever your heart desires with the amazing library at storyblocks storyblocks.com slash six

and you're back with a grief lax hour it's late out now

it's grief lax Please help us.

We are adrift in space.

We don't know where we are.

Hmm.

So you're feeling lost.

Is that

Yes, we're yes, we're lost.

Yes, you're saying you've got no one to turn to, is that right?

Well, no, there's ten other people here with us.

Sisu's always somebody I can depend on.

I've always,

if you were there, if you didn't disappear for a whole year, well, I'm here now, okay, and I went into a flaming black hole for you.

Oh, here we go.

No, I didn't.

I didn't have to.

All right, it's getting a little heated in here.

But Rolfus, can I ask you a question?

Sure, again, I can beam you a signal, and maybe you can it's related.

Okay, great, good.

Ralphus,

where'd you go?

Ceesu said you weren't there for her, and I just want to know.

Where'd you go?

What was more important?

Where did you go?

I guess I was captured by a group of clits after the battle of the planet crusher crushers, and I infiltrated them, snapped a few necks, managed to infiltrate their society until I found the perfect opportunity to perform a rescue.

You know, but now as I say it, I think you met emotionally, so I will say work.

And that is what I thought was best at the time.

And Sisu, let me ask you, was that the best thing?

No, it wasn't.

I've never seen you cry before.

Well, that's because I never had pores before.

But the past couple months have been a little stressful.

Yes, I have developed one pore pore that now sometimes cries tears.

Well, the fact that you think a tear duct is a pore

might give us some insight into your inability to connect.

I'll give you that.

You look incredibly smooth to me.

Really, why wasn't I smooth at that wedding?

Again, she laughed at my jokes.

I don't know what else you want me to say about the tell me a joke.

Okay, tell me a joke right now, and I will laugh at it.

Hey, Greflex.

Um, yes, Ralph.

Why did the Flizzbot

stop at the meteor?

I don't know, Ralphus.

Why did the Flizzbot stop at the meteor?

Um,

well, uh, it was because it's in its programming.

It was, you know, programmed to do that.

You know, Rolf.

Yeah, I can't say I've heard of a FlizzBot, but uh, you want me to do that?

Okay, I know what you're going for, and it's not working.

Let me tell you, right?

Hold on, hold on, let me try again.

Rothus, why don't you let Grieflax talk for just a second?

Okay, um

understand it's important to you to feel validated.

Yeah,

yeah, I'm still funny.

But look around you right now.

Is Martha from the wedding still here?

No,

no, she's she's dead.

She's dead.

And who is right next to you?

My wife.

Your wife?

Sisu Kundu.

Sisu Kundu.

Well, ex-wife.

Ex-wife, maybe wife.

Sisukundu.

And Sisu.

Who's standing next to you?

A Bargie's refrigerator?

No.

You always do great work, Zalcatron 5000.

Thank you.

Okay, that's that wasn't who I was asking about.

Other side.

Oh,

my um

former partner in business and in pleasure

Rufus.

That's right.

Two of you have found your way back to each other.

Because we are headed back, back in time, to this classic love song called Turn Back the Clock.

And we're clear.

Oh, man, talk about the airwave hogs, right?

Deeve, not to get on your case about this, but I think you should be screening these calls.

You know, listen,

I apologize.

I got another one coming in right now.

I promise it is not those two.

Okay.

Well,

I'd love to hear it.

Thanks, Dave.

Count me in.

Back in five, four, three, two.

You know, sometimes the shorter songs are the best songs.

And that was the case with Turn Back the Clock.

But we've got a new caller on the line.

Caller, you're on with Grieflex.

It's Grieflex.

What's going on?

Can you play you broke my heart and you broke my other heart?

Absolutely, we can, call her, but who's it for?

And who are you?

I done mucked up real bad this time.

Hello.

Can you hear us?

Are we back?

Can you hear us?

We changed frequencies.

I think we're back on.

Again,

we are in an undisclosed part of space.

Yes.

I sent out distress boots.

I do not know how this happened.

I do not know.

I was on the line with that weird guy, and now it's these these two again.

Deeve, it's all right.

It's all right.

I can tell that Rolfus and Sisu,

well, we haven't done this in a while, but we're going to have to go deep with Greeflax.

And that means it's time for Greeflax's deep questions.

Now, Rolfus and Sisu, I'm going to ask you five questions about your relationship.

And if you're willing to go deep,

I think that's where you'll find the love.

Are you willing to go deep?

It's for you, in case any sort of trying

to get it.

Any love more of a metaphorical location.

Are you willing to go deep with me, Rolfus?

I mean, at this point, any sort of location would be welcome.

Fantastic.

First question goes to Rolfus.

Rolfus,

if Sisu were to disappear,

what would you do?

Well, I think I'd probably assemble a Cracker Jack team to scour.

We go quadrant by quadrant, check every perimeter, searching for her.

So, it's Ralphus safe to say that

you can't give Sisu up.

Oh, that's the question.

Yes, right, yes.

Excellent.

And Sisu, the second question goes to you.

What is Rolfus's worst quality and then

his best?

Wow.

Um,

well, I heard this already.

I have a letter I've always wanted to send him, but I never did.

I just might as well read from it.

Rolf is your worst quality.

Is your narcissism?

Your belief that you're the only one that matters when things get not so typed?

You're

avoidant when the going gets rough.

You think of things in the worst way.

Then you like to pretend it happened when it already didn't without giving it a chance.

We're on five bad things.

We haven't.

Supposed to just.

Sorry to interrupt, but that's fine.

That's okay, dear.

And you're not funny, honestly.

Like, you know jokes.

I understand you're telling them, but they don't.

Sisu, I think we've got the worst characteristics covered.

So why don't you tell me his best characteristics?

Okay.

Let me just find that one.

Okay.

Rolfus, I.

I love you.

Wow.

Oh, wait, that's not that's not a positive thing about him, right?

Yeah.

It's not really a quality.

If it's in the pro econ list, that could honestly be a pro or a con, depending on how

okay, deep.

All right.

Okay, here is a pro.

You know where we are at all times.

You know, sometimes when we go deep,

it's tough, right?

Can get a little heavy.

So sometimes it's nice for a commercial break, isn't it?

Let's go to one now, and I'll see you on the other side.

The Greyflax Hour is brought to you by Libby.

Wow, Luzanne.

Can you get off your phone?

We met up at this coffee shop to recommend products to each other.

You, an enthusiast, and me, a jaded skeptic.

Actually, Proy, I'm reading a book on Libby, the completely free reading app that lets you borrow e-books and audiobooks from your library on your phone, tablet, Kindle, or computer.

You should try it.

I don't have a library card.

Oh, no problem.

You can still read samples of any book you see.

And then, you know, get a library card.

Hmm.

Nah.

In addition to being argumentative and condescending, I'm also irresponsible, which means I have paid a lot of late fees at the library.

Don't worry.

When you borrow books from Libby, they return themselves automatically when your loan expires.

So find a book you'll love among the thousands of e-books and audiobooks hand-selected by your library.

You can explore the collection through catalog guides, subjects, featured titles, and curated lists.

So start reading with Libby now.

Go to meet.libbyapp.com to sign up.

You know what?

I will.

I'll do that at meet.libbyapp.com.

And you know what else?

I'm going to start being a nice person.

I'm only sassy because I'm insecure inside my heart.

And actually, actually, Luzanne, I respect you because

you came through and you recommended a product.

That's meet.libbyapp.com.

I know.

The Grief Lax Hour is not responsible for helping you remain humble after learning a crazy amount of stuff through books borrowed on Libby.

Nor will the producers of the Greek Flax Hour help you decide what to purchase with all the money you save by no longer buying expensive ebooks or any books.

And you're back.

Now, normally on the Green Flax Hour, we talk to dozens of callers from all over the galaxy.

But tonight, we found an extra thorny one.

So we're digging in here with Rolfus and Sisu.

It's late at night.

It's good box.

Now, Rolfus, I want you to make one statement about your relationship with Sisu.

A we statement that you are going to make come true

in the future.

Okay.

We

will

never again get shot out of the butthole of an imploding evil black hole via the power of this incredibly swole being.

I promise you that

see

he said that, and he meant it.

Okay, the next question is for you.

Imagine the star you're closest to has gone supernova.

You have 10 seconds to tell Rolfus how you feel before you're both atomized forever.

You're 10 seconds start.

Yeah.

I actually did a rev talk about this subject.

I didn't use the name Rolfis,

but it was for you.

I don't know if you watched it.

That's 10 seconds.

That's all the time we have.

I'm so sorry.

Yeah.

And I want you to remember that.

Now, the final question.

The final question goes to both of you.

Okay.

And the question is.

Do you want to be together?

what i mean that is a what that is a question

definitely a question that you have asked will you choose each other tonight

yes yes i will

roll fuss you go first i just said yes you weren't listening you didn't that's the thing you don't listen

she never listens rofus i hear you but Cecil,

what's your choice?

Do you want to be with Rolfus?

Will you choose him right now?

Rolfus, it's difficult for me to just say yes.

What holds you back, Sisu?

I don't need a Rolfus to be a Sisu.

But at the same time, I need a Rolfus.

It sounds to me like you don't need a Rolfus to be a Sisu.

But you do need a Rolfus to be

you.

Wow.

It's like you took the words out of my mouth.

Do you just kind of say whatever.

What's your deal?

Yeah, you know what?

What's Greenflax's deal?

Can we ask you a question?

Go right ahead.

I know we've been focusing on many things here, but your energy with your producer

is off the charts.

There's some heat there.

Oh.

Deeve, are you getting that vibe?

I don't know.

I don't.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Deeve, is there something you're not telling me?

Uh-huh.

You?

Oh, I don't know.

I don't know.

Hey, Deeve, I want you to look into my eyes.

Tell me something you do know.

Uh

uh

uh Grifflex, uh

you know, I may

I may just be a sentient oscillator whose only purpose is to interact with audio equipment,

but uh I do know that working on the Grieflex hour with Grieflex has been the honor of my life, and uh yeah, maybe it took these two weirdos to show me that

again.

We are lost, we would really appreciate it

again.

Supplies are dwindling Ralphus Sisu, I'm going to ask you to just hold tight for one second.

I've got to say something to my producer, Deve.

Deeve?

Well,

maybe it's crazy, but

I think we ought to give it a shot.

Really?

I've been watching you for...

Well, I guess I don't even remember how long.

And if you weren't there,

I guess I don't know what I'd do.

So

I'm dedicating this next one to you,

Deeve.

And this song is a reference tone used to determine your position in the galaxy.

But first, I'm gonna hang up on these scholars so I can dedicate this to D and D alone.

I can't believe you hung up again.

We're never gonna find our way home.

But at least...

at least we'll be together.

Ralph is

Sisu.

Ralph is

Sisu.

Ralphus.

Wait, you guys...

you're holding hands.

Yes.

Wow.

We.

We're back together.

We're back together.

Also, we accidentally super glued our hands together.

Yeah.

How do you why would you even have that out?

Yeah, why would we have that out, Rolfus?

This is not on me.

Rolfus, your other hand is against the wall.

Yeah.

Yeah, he's stuck there too.

Huh.

Now, if you excuse me, I'd like to make out with my ex-wife stuck against this wall.

Well, I have to do the next shift here with Flex, so I guess we're gonna.

Hey, guys.

Huh.

Why are you stuck to the wall?

There are too many people on this ship.

Tell me about it.

I'm going first.

It's me, Jackie Casha.

Man, she's always this bossy.

Hi.

I'm Lori Kiltmartin.

We're a bunch of stand-up comics, and we've been doing comedy like 60 years total with both of us, but we look amazing.

We drop every Monday on Max Fun, and it's called the Jackie Laurie Show, and you could listen to it and learn about comedy and learn about anger management and all the things.

And Jackie is married but childless and I'm unmarried but childful.

So together we make one complete woman.

Is that just what's going to end?

Yeah.

And we try to make Kyle laugh just like that and say, oh my God, every episode.

It's a good job.

Jackie and Laurie Show, Mondays, only on Maximum Fun.

Hi, I'm James, host of Minority Corner, which is a podcast that's all about intersectionality.

It's hosted by James with a guest host every week.

Discussing all sorts of wonderful issues, nerdy and political, pop cultured, black queer, feminism, race, sexuality, news.

You're gonna learn your history, their self-empowerment, and it's told by what feels like your best friend.

Why should someone listen to Minority Corner?

Why not?

Oh my god, free stuff.

There's not free stuff.

The listeners of Minority Corner will enjoy some necessary lols, but mainly a look at what's happening in our world through a colorful lens.

People will get the perspective of marginalized communities.

I feel heard.

I feel seen.

Like you said, you need to understand how to be more proactive in your community, and this is a great way to get started.

Join us every Friday on Max Fun or wherever you get your podcast.

Minority Corner.

Because together, we're in the majority.

MaximumFun.org.

Comedy and culture.

Artist owned.

Audience supported.

Well, it's about time we heard from another caller.

Deeve, who have we got on the line?

We got Sean on line one.

Fantastic.

Sean, you're on with Greeflax on the Greeflax hour.

What's going on?

Oh, hey, Grieflax,

longtime listener, first time caller.

Thank you very much.

And Deez, I just got to say I'm such a huge fan.

And I'm actually an aspiring...

Deve, it's Deve.

And Deeve, I got to say I'm such a huge fan, and I'm an aspiring audio wizard myself.

But I was actually looking to tell some people that they really hurt my feelings and if there's like a song you can play.

Yeah, I I have these co-workers who I really love and

we actually run our own internet radio show sort of.

Okay.

Again, big fan aspiring to be just like you guys yeah, you guys are like, it's like crazy I get to talk to you right now, but anyway, you know, we were doing an ad and I asked about whether or not we got any samples of

of you know the stuff we we do ads for because there's like this like uh you know one of those food delivery companies and sure you know sometimes they give us stuff and well to all you listeners out there in listener land well sometimes the products we advertise on the show we

we do get a complimentary copy that's true no I I wanted to try these Memphis style meatballs that the company does and they said that they took the you know the product for themselves which is fine but then they like wouldn't even give me the offer code and then they made a whole joke about it, and none of my friends will tell me what the discount code is.

So yeah, if there's just like a song you could play to let them know that, you know, they really hurt my feelings, but it's okay.

And, you know.

Well, I think I've got a song in mind, Sean, but first, let me ask you.

It hurts, doesn't it, when someone you thought was a friend maybe doesn't treat you like a friend should.

It does.

You know, I try to put on a strong face and let these things roll off my back.

But I also, you know, I've been trying to stand up for myself a little more.

That's good, Sean.

Yeah.

And

before I play my song, what would you say to those friends of yours if they were here right now?

Well, I would say, Adam, Steph, I know it was just in good fun, but you really did hurt my feelings when you made a joke about me not getting Memphis-style meatballs.

Well, I hope they hear that, Sean, and I hope they listen to you.

But in the meantime, here's a dedication to Steph and Adam.

You did me wrong, I kid you not, by the one and only Jordan Bakorkin.

Green Chef was pretty good,

right, Eldon?

That was delicious.