Yas Boot

This is Sir at IT5 with a festive XMARS announcement.

You are invited to a special live Mission to Zix performance on Saturday, January 25th, as part of the Brooklyn Podcast Festival.

We will kickstart our upcoming season four with a brand new episode, improvised live on stage, featuring a special guest comedian and an unknown amount of orange beer.

So, book your travel to the Brooklyn Quadrant on January 25th and get your tickets at missiontozix.space or bkpodfest.com.

Now, settle in for a little X-Mars treat and the crew to you.

Oh man, guys, I've been to a lot of Exmars Eve dinners.

That one was delicious.

It's really good.

The taste was hit the spot.

That oil was was so good.

Thank you so much, Norman.

Nerk.

Nerkin.

Okay.

You're quite the cook.

Oh, thanks.

Yeah.

You know, when I was working up to getting my residency at the club, I had to wash dishes.

I had to cook.

I learned some stuff.

Yeah, and Norman, I may say these batteries are perfection.

Oh, thanks so much.

Those I took out of the toaster.

Sorry, Bargie.

Hey, don't apologize to me.

Apologize to the toaster.

Oh, I'm so sorry, Gina.

Oh, Oh, there's no way to do it.

Yeah, I know you can't.

And then apologize.

Okay.

Well, guys, you know,

I'm going to hit the sack now so I can get up early on X Mars morning.

And open those boots.

Open those boots.

Wait, what the chuck?

What?

Because we're opening on X Mars Eve?

AJ.

AJ, get off.

I take it.

We're not opening the boots now.

Stop smashing the plates.

We're not opening pizza, boots.

AJ, AJ, you're scary to me.

did you bring stranger?

I'm so happy to be here.

Thanks, guys, for inviting me.

Well, see, for inviting me.

Why the jump did you bring a stranger, see?

You are being sold.

We're all free now.

No, no, no, Taylene.

It's so nice to meet you.

Thank you.

I can go.

No, Tibby.

It's fine.

Hey, AJ.

Do you want to lose out on your boots?

No, it's just like, here's the thing.

This is my first...

This is my first X-Mars away from the conditioning center.

Yeah, we always would open our boots on X-Mars Eve.

Okay.

Yeah, we see that now.

We do that.

I'm a little

anxious that you're not spending X-Mars where you're used to spending.

Yeah, that's right.

Well,

Daylight can't make it back to her slime planet either.

Are you guys like together?

What's going on?

We haven't defined it.

We're not knowing

his nose.

AJ, X-Mars is about togetherness.

Anyone can come to X-Mars dinner.

Hey, why don't we just let AJ open the boot tonight?

Yeah, AJ, how about you open your boot and we'll open ours tomorrow morning?

Okay.

Is that okay?

You guys would do that for me?

Yeah.

You truly have no choice.

You're going a little crazy.

Yeah, also back on Rangus 6, AJ, when I was growing up, if you were under 10, you were able to open your boot the night before, and you're only five, so, you know.

Yeah.

But you're here now.

You should probably open it tomorrow when we all do.

Nermit!

Nerman, why would you?

Oh, no.

AJ, please don't picture me.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

The holidays just make me like

aggro, which I'm usually not.

I'm usually pretty chill.

Hey, Nermit, is your neck okay?

No.

You popped your head off like you were a bottle of champagne.

Yeah, it's.

Well, you can actually crack it back into place.

Oh, just like a little.

Ah!

Ooh, that was loud!

AJ, okay.

I'm gonna give you your boot.

All right, I'm opening it.

Okay.

I'm opening it.

There's something in there from all of us.

Oh, guys, good spad.

Tactical knives!

That's right, tactical knives.

Oh, wow.

You can split somebody from like sternum to all the way up to the ditch.

From their advertiser to their sternum with them.

Yeah, yeah, you can say that.

Oh, wow.

See, those are from you?

Yes.

Yay!

Yep,

those are from me.

Oh, Choco Slowworks.

Yay!

Those are from me.

I got off the black market.

Watch out.

You can only eat one.

That's right.

If you eat more than one, your brain gets on fire and you die.

Why would they need it?

Why are they delicious?

They're yummy.

Why didn't you just give him one?

Why don't you shut?

Okay.

Alright.

Tailing it.

Oh, it's a water flies.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Yeah.

Oh,

darn.

You got me PJs.

PJs for AJ.

Yeah, I just figured something that you could wear at night so you didn't have to keep wearing your suit.

Oh, and they have the flap on my butt.

So if I need to, like.

Well, honestly, that's an X-Mart's gift to me, because

I just want you to be able to access that butt gun, even in your PJs.

Thank you, Dar.

Wow, so much cool stuff.

Oh, it's a planner with a...

Yeah, but look at it close.

Oh, it's got your Berman Underloy stuff on it.

Yeah.

Like, so...

Oh, wow.

I won't use this, but this is cool.

What?

I won't be using this.

It's a planner.

What do you...

No, you play doesn't do a lot.

You planned.

I know, but that's why he has it.

You need to.

You're so off the cuff.

Oh, you know what I'm going to do?

Lock and load.

So now I'll know that I'll need to lock and load on this day.

Wow.

He's kind of better excited than me, though.

Circle red in you.

Papa.

It's a pinky.

Yeah, well, it's a festive Eskimo's pinky.

Yeah.

It's a peppermint pinky.

Yeah, you can screw that in during the day.

I'm going to do it right now.

Yeah, it's.

Oh, wow.

He ripped off the other pinky.

Yeah, I got it, Taylor.

Wait, what was this at the bottom?

Oh.

That was the reason I put it there.

Everything must.

But what about.

Well, hello, AJ2884.

Hello, crew of the Bar Jerry and Jane.

And hello to any slimy new friends.

Wow.

So nice.

This is Miss Janelle Fitzmeyer, and I'm just wishing you all a wonderful and splendid XMARS.

Now my dearest 2884,

while I understand that you have defected, know that there is always,

always a place in my heart for each and every one of my beloved and special clients.

And I hope that your boot overfloweth with X-Mars bounty

and that you allow your unique talents to shine throughout the entire year for everyone to see.

Just unfailingly nurturing.

So

as for me, I've had a good fun year.

I have a new gentleman friend named Gary and he and I enjoy so many of the restaurants at the new outdoor mall.

In fact, we had a wonderful gilgotine salad the other day that was to die for.

Oh, and I included some homemade boobets and zoos.

I know you candy, Margie.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, I look forward to your letters.

I always love pin paling with you.

Kiss, kiss.

Hug, hug.

Janelle Fitzmeyer.

Oh, man.

Wow.

She is.

She's good.

She's a special lady.

Really a special lady.

So nice.

I just think of everyone we've met who trains kill squads for a living.

She's like the best.

She's very Absolutely.

Well, I mean, the only downside is, like, AJ,

now tomorrow morning when we all open our boots, kind of your fun is over.

Are you kidding me?

Most fun about X-Mars is watching other people get gifts.

Oh, wow.

Wait, that's a positive outlook on life.

Yeah.

Then why were you so excited to open your boots?

Because I got these knives.

And the other thing that we know about X-Mars is that it's about survival.

That's your boot.

Oh, oh, oh, okay.

Wow, I'm more than happy.

Well, thank you so much for inviting me.

This is like so fun.

Yeah, this was really.

I'm so glad you could make it.

Yeah.

I'm really glad I didn't think you'd yield.

I was like, yielding him.

You know, I responded so fast.

I was like.

No, no, not at all.

I'm sorry about the slime.

That is who I am.

I'm a slime man.

Oh, wow.

We're underneath the

feather whisker.

I guess we deeply passionately make out for a very long time that it's so uncomfortable for anyone else to watch.

I guess we have to

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And the other thing that we know about X-Mars is that it's about survival.

Oh, yeah.

That's a fair point.

That's true.

Oh,

okay.

See you tomorrow morning.

Wow.

He just cut Taylen in two.

C53, why did you give those to him?

Well, he loves knives.

I mean, that's true.

Also, Taylene, you're fine, right?

Taylene?

She just got silked.

Yeah, she's silent because she's seen me dead.

No.