218: The Prattle of Sistoo [ft. Brandon Scott Jones]

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It is a period of civil war.

The rebellion against the sinister and corrupt Federated Alliance grows stronger, and the fate of the galaxy hangs in the balance.

Now, rebel emissary Pleck Dexeta and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to explore astounding new worlds, discover their heroic destinies, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff.

This is mission to

zinc.

A C-53?

Yes.

I'm a little nervous about

what we found out last week.

I mean, yeah, a little.

It seems a little foreboding.

Do they even know where the Rebel headquarters is?

I don't think so.

Surely they would have struck it by now.

I mean, I don't know where it is.

You don't know where it is?

No, I don't know where it is.

You're an emissary for the rebels.

Yeah, but I when I asked them, they were very hush-hush about the location.

I mean, I know.

You do?

Yeah, they sent me it as an encrypted piece of information.

Where is it?

Now that I know that you don't know what you know,

I mean, we're basically best friends.

It sort of feels like maybe they did that for a reason.

Like, you'd give it up under torture or,

you know, just leave it lying out on a data pad or something.

Yeah, no, that makes sense.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, no, no.

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but.

No, it's soft point.

That makes that.

My mother's name?

Karen.

Well, but I didn't tell you that her maiden name is Planters.

Okay, but

you just did tell me that.

Okay.

Alright, Beetle.

So, you said I should

change my brand, right?

Sitting to change my image to be more attractive in this new hollow industry.

Yeah, what are some of the names that you came up with that I could- No, I'm not Baji.

Baji's dead.

Who am I now?

Been a love.

B.

Archie.

Okay.

Jade.

Jade, just Jade.

Bino?

Jade?

Okay, um, again, we talked about this.

I'm not gonna put the name Bino

into my name, but

Bargie, can I just say, I don't think you should change your name.

I think you're perfect just the way you are.

Yeah, Bargie, you don't need to change your name you're iconic really okay so let me tell you this if i say the name bargerian jade what are the first three things that come to mind okay i'll go first um sexy

um yes we are coming from you buxom

okay and um uh desired by me desirable to me like what is up with what is happening

I'm sorry, was that is that too much?

I just feel like, I just feel, I don't know what is too much.

That is too much.

I don't know what it is, Bargie, but lately I've just been like walking through your halls and like feeling your consoles.

And I'm like, there's something that's just really attractive about you, Bargie.

Anyone else worried?

Anyone else?

I'm a little concerned.

People think Beck is problematic.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I'll keep it to myself.

Bargie, if you ask me what words I would think of when I hear the name, Bargie.

I suppose my first word would be shit.

My second would be notable.

Okay.

Flex, stop winking

What?

And you're winking the big one.

I just.

You're blowing up my spot right now, and I don't know why you're doing that.

Okay, but let me just clarify something real fast.

Pleck, I want you to look directly down my hallway.

That's like looking straight at me.

Gladly.

You heard.

You heard at her.

Uh, Pleck, this will never, ever happen in a bajillion billion years.

So move on.

Meet people.

Okay.

yeah no you're right.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, but I don't know what came over me.

You're right.

I need to just focus on the

air conditioning very cold right now.

That's probably too warm.

Wow, okay, yeah.

Anyway, I'm gonna go with Gus Gert.

Gus Gert?

Who's Gus Gert?

That's you now?

Thinking about it.

Gus Gert?

I have an incoming transmission from Missions Operations Man in your Nermit Bundle.

Right.

Hey, Nermit.

Whoa, wow.

Where'd you get that hat?

Well, this is

been issued to everyone.

Given the situation, the high alert.

Let me just turn my camera on.

Can you see?

Can you see here?

Can you see everyone marching?

Did they read your report?

Absolutely.

Wow.

The information has been received, it's been processed, and everyone is mobilizing.

We have to fortify fortify the bases.

We need to line everybody up in lines.

We need to get everyone just like at ready.

Yeah.

Nerman, I'm sorry to interrupt.

Yeah.

When you say we, that's like the royal we, like, you are not actually doing any of these things, right?

Mission.

Can you turn the camera around so that you're not showing our troop formations?

Oh, oh, sorry, sorry.

Yeah.

Now, obviously, like, they're the troops are getting physically oriented and ready for battle, but that's only half the battle at most.

The other half

the battle seems like way less.

I think formations are maybe the first 10%.

Oh, oh, sorry.

Oh, I really thought he was gone.

And we can all agree that it's not 50%.

Guys, I had a point that was leading up to the other half of a sentence.

Okay, so the physical preparations are half the battle, maybe at most, or 10%, whatever we got, but the other half is emotional.

It's spiritual.

You know,

certain part of its fighting skill, aim.

guys,

piloting of

trying.

They're arguing with me about percentages.

Guys, I didn't.

I'm sorry if this is reading weird.

This is not coming from me.

This is coming from the mouth, the pen, the keyboard of you.everybody.

What?

You.everybody, really?

That's a good thing.

Wait, Nermit, who is you.everybody?

You.Everybody?

Look at your rev talk cue.

You.Everybody has given the

most viewed rev talk of all time

about positivity, about engaging with your life on a day-to-day basis.

So,

oh wow, guys,

you're going to the sister quadrant.

What?

Wait,

we're going to the sister quadrant?

Yeah.

You can go to the sister quadrant, a massive wasteland of former bits of planets.

They don't even have a hollow industry.

There's nothing to watch.

Well, that's, I mean, that's also true, Bargy, but

the Sistu Quadrant was the was where the Battle of Sistu was.

That's where the monarchy was defeated by the Federated Alliance.

Ah, yeah.

Emissary Dexter famously the tide was turned at the Battle of Sistu by you.Everybody's rousing inspirational speech.

You.Everybody is in the Sisku quadrant.

You.Everybody could summon the inner strength of every rebel and make them kill.

Yes!

Just tell them that they're picking up a junking motivational droid.

Okay.

Um, so you're picking up a motivational droid.

Hey Deb, how are you doing?

You know, I'm actually not just a bartender.

Nope, uh, this is actually my side hustle, if you can believe it.

My real passion?

Graphic design.

Yeah, posters, rebrands, signage, you name it.

Actually, why don't you take one of my brand new business cards?

Gift.

Snazzy, right?

I got them at vistaprint.com.

And I look at them, I bet you think they were expensive.

Nope, you're wrong.

Dead wrong.

I got 500 of these sweet suckers for just $9.99.

Yeah, you heard that right.

You can't even get two orange beers in here for that.

And they almost skimp at Vistaprint.

No, no, no.

Look at that responsibly sourced paper, huh?

See the glint off that carefully selected ink?

You see it?

Yeah, yeah, you see it.

But wait, you're like a galaxy famous expert tentacle surgeon, right?

Don't you want to be something more?

Vistaprint wants you to do something great, which is why they're offering that same amazing deal, 500 high-quality custom business cards starting at $9.99 to anyone who uses the code mtz at vistaprint.com.

mtz at vistaprint.com.

I'll write it on my business card on the back.

mtz at vistaprint.com, and they'll be delivered to you in as little as three days.

Satisfaction guaranteed.

I'll tell you, we don't have that guarantee here at the bar.

We couldn't.

We'd be out of business.

Actually, and if you want to just stay a famous surgeon,

I could draw you a tentacle with a scalpel in it as your logo.

And then you upload that to vistaprint.com, hold MTZ, and you got yourself a custom business card, mister.

Now we're talking, huh?

Now we're having fun.

We're having a good time.

I'm having a busy fun terminal.

I'm not a superstitious dread, but this there's something about this quadrant spooky here.

How are we supposed to find you.everybody out here?

I mean,

you know,

place

like a location or something.

They just gave me a specific point in space which I don't think there's anything here.

That doesn't make any sense.

Oh, my.

What?

What?

Something.

That Something just hit me.

Ahoy.

Ahoy.

Ahoy.

Hello.

Bargie, is there someone outside of the ship?

Yeah, there's a thing outside.

Oh, um, hi, you got everybody in.

Are you guys supposed to be taking me out?

So motivational.

So motivational.

Mr.

Everybody, what are you?

You're floating in space.

Well, I've been here for a while.

Since the battle assists to.

First of all, can you let me in?

I have a light.

Can you open the doors?

Okay.

I've been floating in space and it's freezing in here.

This air conditioning must be on.

Yeah, Bargie turned it up.

Yeah, it's a long sorry.

Wow, I haven't had that in a while.

Well, somehow it's colder in here.

You got everybody.

Oh, boy.

How's it going?

Did you say you have been here since the Battle of Sis 2?

That's right.

Absolutely.

I've been here since the Battle of Sis 2.

You know, you gave a Red Talk.

You can't have just been floating in space.

So that's what it looks like.

But here's what really happened.

It was a telecommuted red talk.

Yeah.

Thanks for watching, by the way.

Honestly, I've been doing a lot of like hustling by myself, floating out here in space.

So you just email.

You've just been sending emails while floating in space.

Well, you gotta like, you gotta put your brand out there, all right?

And my brand is Positive T.

Sure, sure.

Wow, this is a good-looking crew.

But it must have been really hard to stay that positive all by yourself in the ruins of a whole quadrant.

You know, but if you knew where I came came from, you'd know that floating in space by yourself for almost a year and a half,

that's actually better than where I started at.

But you know what?

We don't have to get into that.

I'm glad you started.

That sounds better.

What do you mean it sounds better?

I'll tell you what sounds better.

Who I am right now.

Can I just say the talk that you gave about turning on your engines and keep flying really, really said a lot to me?

Well, I mean it.

You look so familiar to me.

Oh, yeah, it's uh, I'm a Guskart.

Oh, no, and she this is actually the Bargerian Jade.

You may have recognized her from.

Oh, my right.

Well, guys, let's uh skedaddle, because uh I have a bunch of troops to motivate, huh?

And thanks for picking me up.

Hope this wasn't out of your way, was it?

I would get

no one's supposed to be in here.

I'm in a hazmat hole.

Mm-hmm.

Well, sometimes when you go someplace no one's supposed to be, that's because you're meant to be there yourself.

Oh, wow.

That's good.

Yeah, that's great.

Have you got a drive?

Can I ask?

Sure.

How did you survive for 18 months?

All right.

Well, you guys aren't going to be able to tell this just from looking at me, but I'm not organic.

Well, I guess I sort of assumed that.

Oh, really?

Oh, sometimes it's a fun reveal.

Damn it.

Okay.

Well, you're great.

I mean, for being out here in a high radiation zone for a year and a half by yourself, you look amazing.

Thank you very much.

What are three things you find attractive about me?

Oh, uh.

You make very strong eye contact.

Thank you.

Beano.

Who said that?

Bino.

Where the hell is that coming from?

Oh, this is Bino.

Sorry.

Oh, my God.

He's way down.

Sorry, little guy.

We missed you there.

Well,

we don't really like introducing Bino to new people.

And how do you think that makes Bino feel?

That's a good question.

Bino, how does it make you feel?

Bino feels sad, everyone.

Bino feels sad.

Everyone apologize to the sad little being.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

We don't.

You sorry you don't what?

Use the word.

I'm sorry we usually don't introduce you, Bino.

As opposed to a member of the crew.

That's not fair to you.

Bino, I'm sorry.

I argued, saying that you taking 70%

as a manager is too much.

That seems

higher than it was.

It went up.

Wow.

Bino, accept your apologies.

But you know, Bino will forgive me.

Aww.

Well, how about that?

And since we're going to be riding together, and I'm about to go, you know, rally the troops here for some new battle, which I'll ask you a little more details about.

I was emailing back and forth with a very angry Tularean who had problems with his ex-wife trying to

shirt hard to deal with yeah it is but you know what i always say that the people who are the hardest to deal with are the ones that are the most rewarding to be around

i don't think that i'm not sure that's

a tough thing i mean you're not everybody you're a stronger uh

droid than i you know so you're a droid too no no no no i'm not i'm a tellurian you are

yes no i didn't want to say anything

I'm not offended by it.

No, I know, but I wasn't sure if you liked to surprise reveal it every now and then.

No, I think it for me.

That's pretty obviously self-evident.

Yeah.

Look to you.

But I'm not organic.

No, no, we're not.

Oh, right.

I forgot I told you.

Excuse me.

If an organic was out in space for 18 months, they would die.

I mean,

most organics will die yet.

Yeah, 30 seconds.

I'm honestly, a lot of droids, if you left them out in space for them, would also.

They're just not built to do that.

Well, you know what?

I wasn't built to do what I'm doing right now.

Really?

What were you doing before this?

It's not a big deal.

But you find your ways.

I'll tell you.

Alright?

Okay.

I'll tell you.

Quick turn around.

Ask me again.

I'll tell you.

Okay.

When you look at me, though, you probably see a strong, confident droid.

Yeah.

Yeah, I would say yes.

Alright?

That's who I am.

Alright?

I was on a planet in this quadrant.

Were you working at the Palace of the Monarchy?

I was.

Okay.

I was.

Well, I didn't really have a choice.

Okay.

And I used to be.

And we landed.

Okay.

That was smooth.

We could probably finish that story.

No, it's not that big of a deal.

No, it's not.

It was very, it sounds like very interesting backstory.

No, it sounds like it, but it's really not.

All that you need to know is that here I am right now.

I'm going to...

You guys, all just guess what you all just did now that we landed.

You completed a mission!

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, that's true.

And how does that make you guys feel?

Pleck?

Well, honestly, you dot everybody.

It's pretty rare that we will successfully complete a mission.

You know what?

You don't believe in yourself?

I don't.

I sort of believe in myself.

Vino believe in Vino.

Well, you might say 40% of us believe in ourselves.

Well, you know who else used to not believe in themselves?

is it?

You?

Oh, yeah.

Damn it.

I thought that was gonna be a fun reveal.

It was still fun.

Yeah, it was pretty fun.

You just sort of signed it up in a way where doubt everybody, you used to not believe in yourself?

Yeah, and now I'm a motivational speaker who gives reb talks.

But I wasn't built to be motivational.

That's a program that I had to override in myself.

I was built to be a sex bot.

Okay, fun.

And a drug bot.

Oh,

and I was also

I was also a bookie bot.

Okay.

Can I just give a quick percentage breakdown of how much work you did as each one of them?

Sure, no, absolutely.

49%.

It was a drug bot.

Okay, well.

Technically not.

Well, there's two other percent.

50%

sex bot.

And 1% bookie bot.

Also, if you guys press my ass, I can sing a song.

Oh!

Oh, you guys are actually pretty similar droids.

So

I'm a droid.

I know, it's not.

Which is very obvious.

I should mention this, you dot everybody.

I know you haven't had access to a mirror, but the year and a half you spent floating in space has not been kind

to you, yeah.

I would say most of it

is

well, that was that most of your skin has, I mean, I would say, sort of sloughed off.

Oh, yeah, I will say, like, about three months in, I got hit by a stroid.

Oh, shit,

sure, and it was difficult.

That'll happen, but the positive sign and pushed me closer to the edge, so you guys didn't have to travel as far.

That's that's edge of the quadrant, yeah, edge of the quadrant, yeah.

Oh, oh my rod, everyone hide.

Oh, uh,

it could be a surprise party, and we don't know about it.

Wait, it could be that we're throwing a surprise party?

All right, hide, everyone.

Ooh, where should I hide?

Uh,

okay, you know what?

It's fine.

I'll answer the door.

I'll answer the door.

You'll answer me.

Gosh, what's a ride?

Hello.

Oh, hi!

I'm Sisu Gundu.

Oh, my rod, yes.

You're what Tittle has told me about.

What did Tittle say?

Oh, just that I was...

What exactly did he suppose?

But you were supposed to be...

I was supposed to what?

You were expecting me.

I am.

Oh.

You were expecting me.

Okay, great.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

And also...

Surprise!

I don't understand what the surprise is.

We're not going out for it.

Surprise!

Listen, here's the biggest thing I've learned.

Are you ready?

Is that if you hide when someone knocks, it becomes a surprise party, even if you didn't know it.

And that's the biggest surprise of all.

Something about the way he says things that really feel like pearls of wisdom, but I honestly, I'm trying to, I'm racking my brain.

I cannot figure out a time where that would be true.

Sorry to interrupt.

We have all the troops.

Oh, gosh.

Oh, gosh.

Well, here it is.

For you, Dei.

And no, you don't have all the troops.

Look, you have a few more right here.

Fleck.

And

it's plaque, actually.

Okay.

Sorry about that.

You have fleck.

It's plaque, actually.

Oh, okay.

And you have C3.

C50, it's 53.

C53.

And you have Mr.

Bean.

That's not right.

Also, you have Dar.

Okay, oh, that one's pretty hard.

Nailed that one.

Yeah, I did it.

There was nothing wrong there.

Okay, we're ready for you.

So when you're ready.

Give me two seconds.

I just want to say thank you to my wonderful crew here.

Okay, great.

I will see you on stage.

Oh, my gosh, everybody.

Bye.

Bye.

Guys, gather around.

Yeah, sure.

All right.

Okay.

Fleck, why are you touching the ship so hard?

I just really, I just, the way that I never noticed how beautiful this console is.

I want.

It's okay.

All right.

Guys, first of all, thank you so much for the ride.

Hey, no problem.

And you know what I always say is that even when you get to your destination, the end result is only as good as the journey that got you there.

That was very beautiful.

It's very nice.

It's very nice.

You got everybody.

It was an absolute pleasure.

We are going to head back to the.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

What are you doing?

Don't you want to come see my speech?

I mean, I sort of.

Sure.

I mean, I'm a little nervous.

I mean, it would mean a lot to have you guys there.

You're my best friends.

Wait, what?

Yeah, everyone else I know is obliterated.

Okay, sure.

You know what?

We'll come check out.

It also, I gotta say, it would be cool to see all the rebels gathered in one place, you know?

Right?

And you know what?

It's gonna be cool for the rebels to see all you guys there.

Oh, no.

I think so.

I think literally that's not true.

I really do.

Okay.

Holy crap, guys, look at all of these rebels.

I guess I didn't really realize how many rebels there were.

All of us there were.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's like there were so many people I could have been hooking up with if only there had been a mixer we've been invited to.

Yeah, we were not invited to anything.

Karaoke, the ice cream social,

Tuesday trivia nights.

Yeah, that doesn't seem right.

Hey, guys.

Hey, Nermit, hey, hey, what's up, man?

How's it going?

Hi, Nermit.

Hey, Dar.

Hi.

Nermit.

Dar.

Nermit.

Yeah.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Um, so actually, guys, I've been meaning to

yeah, so this is my.

Nermi, these are Rezzy Melia, you're so good.

Hi, I'm Mel.

Hey, Mel.

This is my crew that I've been telling you about, Mel.

Nermin's on me, Reggie guys, Nana Zom for like such a long time.

I'm like, who are you guys?

There you are.

Beana hate pal.

Whoa,

what?

Beano?

Pino.

Pina hate mal.

Okay, all right,

beano.

Uh, Pino,

just a quick aside, um, I love you, and I'm sorry that I have not shown you the respect that you clearly deserve.

Pino Weft,

I am so grateful for you right now.

Beano Weftard, Pina Hate Mal.

Oh, okay.

Starting, sister.

Hello?

Everybody in the rebellion.

They all know they're in the rebellion.

I was just trying.

Let me just do my speech.

Let me just do my speech.

They all know.

Let me.

Okay, hi.

Okay, great.

I am Sisu Gundu.

I'm Rolfus Tittle, Commander Tittle.

Now, you don't need to put Commander in there.

Everybody knows you're going to be a Commander.

Okay, but we should be more personal.

We're about to announce things.

I'm just saying, we're we're fine.

How is everyone doing?

Great.

Okay, so we have a little

get-together surprise for each and every one of you.

When I say motivational, you say

speaker.

Speaker.

Speecher.

No, speaker.

Who's saying speech and who's saying speecher?

Speecher's not a word.

Speecher's not a word.

Okay, Rolfus.

Rolfus, we should.

I don't, I mean, who's we don't need to get angry.

It makes me nervous that people are saying speecher like it's a thing.

What do the therapist tell us?

We need to breathe and count to ten, okay?

One, two, three.

It's it's part of it.

It's part of the therapy.

Have to do it at work.

Publicly?

Yes.

Sounds bad.

Wow.

I sound like this, too.

You all sound bad.

Hey.

Hey, squeaky voice squadron, keep it down.

It was your fault for putting us together.

Okay, well, everybody, it's

like the best motivator we can get for the money we have.

It's you,

Doc, everybody.

Thank you, Sisu.

Thank you, Rolfus.

I don't want to blow anyone's minds, but I'm going to put this microphone down.

But you've noticed that my voice is still amplified.

That's because I'm not organic.

I am a droid.

We are aware of this.

Half of your skin is gone.

You also have a big hole in your torso.

Alright.

You had that whole rim talk about being a droid.

So you're familiar with my work?

Love it.

Thank you.

I love that attitude.

Now, I want everyone out there to close their eyes.

What if you don't have eyes?

What if your species is a type that doesn't have eyes?

Then you're one step ahead of the game.

What if you are just an eye?

Close yourself.

Good point.

Makes sense when you say it.

Now I know what you're about to do is very scary.

So I want you to think about your deepest fear.

No.

No.

No.

Silence!

Silence!

I'm raising my hands.

Look at my hands.

No, I'm so sorry.

No, okay, but I meant to say,

think about your greatest fear of going in.

No!

No!

Okay, well, I'm hearing a lot of different things out there, but I want you guys to know that deep down you're all brave.

Sometimes,

the greatest battles are the ones you didn't know you could even fight.

You know, I had to fight a battle once.

I was built to be a drug, sex, and gambling robot.

I was part of a governmental program where every day they'd feed me with drugs.

Guys, can I talk to you for a second?

But he's in the middle of his speech.

Yeah, no, I know, but can I just say something?

I feel like being here with all these rebels, with you guys, with Nermit,

just makes me realize...

I think maybe we're here for a reason.

Listen,

I can't inspire people.

I'm I'm no you.everybody.

I'm just some dumb kid from a farm planet who wanted to do some good in this crazy galaxy.

None of us really know how to fight.

I mean, Barge's guns aren't even real.

It's not like we can just hop in and go up into space and join a dogfight.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, who cares if this is what we thought we were going to be doing?

We're here now, and these rebels need our help.

And maybe, just maybe, our little crew can go up there and really make a difference.

You know?

I say let's give it a shot.

What do you think?

Who's with me?

Who's willing to fight?

Thanks, guys.

I mean, man, that reaction really means a lot to me, so I appreciate that.

What are you going on about?

Were you saying something this whole time?

I was talking to you guys.

Remember, I pulled you during the speech?

I pulled you into an aside.

We do it all the time.

Oh, well, we were.

I guess I didn't.

I don't remember.

I mean, I remember.

You didn't hear any of the things that I was saying?

No, I don't remember any of them.

I'm still quivering from this powerful motivation circling through my body.

How can I even go there to the other?

Pay attention to that speech.

It was like out of this world.

Listen, I heard the first half and then I just thought it wasn't really going anywhere.

That makes sense.

Yeah, no, you're probably right.

Okay, all right.

It built like a tower of blocks.

Yeah.

He laid the foundation.

I get it.

I get how his speech works.

Wow.

The crew of the Bargarian Jade.

Oh.

Hey, Commander Tittle.

Great to see you.

I'm actually a little bit surprised and impressed that you're here.

I wouldn't think that you...

You can pick up someone from deep space and bring them back into the close.

Well, I wouldn't think that you were the type that would enlist yourself into a battle.

Well, what can I say?

It was a very rousing speech by you.everybody.

Any kind of emissary work we can do during the battle, we're happy to go lead ways with.

during the battle we need to meet someone and talk to them and get some intel.

I'll appreciate the terms of surrender or any of you too.

What?

No, we've fitted guns onto the Bargerian Jade.

You'll be taking.

Awesome.

We've always wanted guns.

Great.

Well, now you've got them.

That'll be great while we're out there in a wherever we need to deliver those guns to.

The Bargerian Jade has been retrofitted to be a fighter.

The four of you will be on the ship helping support the fight.

Support with

talking?

How much clearer do I have to make this?

I guess more?

Actually, a little more clear.

I guess so.

The Bargerian Jade's a fighter.

You're going to be inside of her, and you will fight the Federated Alliance as a fighter.

Why would I get you to talk to anybody out there?

The thing is, we're not a fighting team.

I mean, look at us.

Like, not just the parts, the sum, the sum of our parts.

Look at all of us together.

I see you.

I'm a dope.

We need every, I know.

We need every available sentient life form to throw at the Federated Alliance.

Now, you might be cannon fodder, but you're going to be the best cannon fodder we've ever seen.

That's not a zap.

No, that's as low.

That's not.

Wait, guys, he said the best.

No, come on.

That's not what he means.

All right.

That's not often that's leveled at us.

Crew of the Bargarian Jade, welcome to the rebellion.

Hope you survive the experience.

What does that mean?

Tech Seal.

We've been sort of workshopping it.

Rolfus, I heard.

We weren't going to go with that.

I thought we were doing that one.

That's a very negative answer.

I like that one.

I like that one.

We hope you survive.

It has hope in it.

Welcome to the rebellion.

You're really in it now.

Does that one?

Yeah, of course.

We don't like, you're really in it now.

You want to make it?

You're really in it now.

Positive.

I feel like these are sort of...

You're in it now.

Alright, guys, let's just head back to Bargy.

Space be with you.

Do we do that?

And also with you.

What?

Is that not good?

Okay.

Well, guys, Rolfus is right.

We are.

We are in it now.

So, uh, just want to say before anything happens that uh

hey, Bargie,

should not be shooting those up.

Yes, Bargie, we can't shoot those in the hangar.

Bargie, stop, stop.

That might be Bargie's fault.

No, yeah.

Sorry, sorry.

Sorry.

Some friendly fighters.

Six planet crushers in range of rebel headquarters.

Boy, that sounds bad.

Guys, I know we're about to go into something crazy, unprecedented, wild.

We honestly don't know if we're coming back, but remember way back in the beginning, they said they don't do this, but I feel like...

Can we put our hands into the middle and do one of those things where we lift them all up?

I know it's not officially sanctioned, but I don't know.

No, I feel like we were explicitly told not to do that.

Oh, guys, I don't know if they're going to see.

Alright.

Okay.

Wait, somebody hold me up so my arms can get in the.

No, we'll just bend down.

Oh, thanks.

I feel excluded.

Uh, Bargie, can you like extend like a?

I don't know, do you have an antenna or something you can come out?

I can shoot.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please don't try.

Please don't shoot at us.

I mean, that seems really fitting.

Alright, unloading some gas.

Okay, sorry.

Oh, wow.

Sorry, on the count of three.

Come on.

Sorry, sorry.

I'm kicking the gas, gas.

Oh, whoa, whoa.

You could have done that the whole time.

You can unjust gas?

Yeah, that's fine.

Oh, Bargie, that sounds amazing.

Can I see you?

Okay.

Alright, fair enough.

Fair enough.

Let's all get in here.

Put him in.

You know what, Bino?

Why don't you count us off?

What do you want to say, Bino, at the end?

At three.

No, I don't really feel comfortable at that.

Yeah, Bino no sounds like a good thing.

Do Bino love the story of Bino?

That's very long.

That doesn't really have to do with what we're about to do.

Friendship?

There it is.

There it is.

That's really nice, Bino.

Bino, you said Bino, no.

Okay.

Alright.

This is Sea Red IT5, Credits and Attributions Join, commencing outro protocol.

Emissary Plec Deck Center was played by Alden Ford.

C-53 was played by Jeremy Bent.

Security Officer Dar was played by Ali Kokesh.

Gus Gert, Sisu Gandhu, and Mel were played by Mujan Zolfagari.

Missions Operations Manager Nerman Bundaloy was played by Seth Lind.

Bino and Rolfus Tittle were played by Winston Null.

You.Everybody was played by special guest, Brandon Scott-Jones.

Brandon has appeared on Girls the Late Show at Broad City and performs at UCB in New York with Grandma's Ashes, Gentrify, and Ascat.

Follow him on Twitter at BrandonSJ.

This episode was edited by Alden Ford with sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell.

Recorded at Robert Donkey Jr.'s Puppy Palace in Brooklyn, New York.

Music by Brendan Ryan.

Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley.

Ship designed for the Bargarian Jade by Eric Goyce.

Mission to Zix is brought to this galaxy by Audioboom.

Thanks, Audioboom.

Have you noticed an error in our otherwise air tech canon?

Send us an email at crew at mission2zix.space.

See 53.

And you have Mr.

Bean.

That's

right.

Pina, take it.

Love it.

Fina love physical comedy.

Beano love physical comedy.

You know what broad British physical comedy is.

Driving in a little car.

Getting into car accidents.