216: Oh, Zima's Back [ft. Justin Tyler]

It is a period of civil war.

The rebellion against the sinister and corrupt Federated Alliance grows stronger, and the fate of the galaxy hangs in the balance.

Now, rebel emissary Pleck Dexeta and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to explore astounding new worlds, discover their heroic destinies, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff.

This

is mission to

Hey, C53, where's Nermin?

Oh, he went back to rebellion hitbury.

Wait, what?

When?

I guess almost a day ago at this point.

A day ago?

How did I miss that?

You didn't even say goodbye?

I guess you were asleep when he left in kind of a huff, to be honest.

Oh.

You were too busy practicing that song of yours.

Uh, well, it's a ballad, for one.

It's not just a song, but yeah, I wrote it, and now I need to memorize it.

And now you need to sing it.

If I sing it, I don't want you guys to hear it until it's ready, okay?

But we've been hearing it because you've been practicing it.

So at this point, we know it as much as you know it.

Bino love it.

Thank you, Bino.

Bino loves a lot of stuff.

I want to keep busy.

Let's let's keep busy.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's do something.

Dar, Dar, why are you carrying all those

bags?

I'm ready to go on a mission.

Okay,

we're gonna get one at some point.

You can just go.

Nope, you gotta take one now.

You know what?

Let's just create our own missions.

Let's

I don't care.

Wow.

Listen, Dart.

The thing is, it's like once you go through heartbreak, you want to distract yourself so you don't have to think about it again.

So you really know what Daw's going through.

You want to keep busy so those memories don't just keep coming back.

You just go out there.

You start to get out of here.

And I want to agree with you, Bargie.

Bargie, we're on the same page, but if we talk about this anymore, then we're talking about my relationship.

That's right.

Let's keep busy.

I want to keep busy.

You want to keep it busy.

Let's just keep it busy.

Whoa, God.

Let's do it.

Let's do it.

I want to do something.

Let's just do something.

What do you want to do, y'all?

Anything else?

I want to feel like I've accomplished something without having to do too much.

I want to put my croon into something and get something in return for when I'm getting my croon to.

Shop.

We're going to go shopping.

Shopping.

We're going to go shopping.

Shopping trip.

Phino Wolf Late Stage Capitalism.

Great.

The mall.

I love the mall.

Let's go to the mall.

We're going to the mall.

Guys, listen,

we're going to have a mission at some point.

We can't just really go to the the mall, right?

I mean,

MS Reconnaissance:

How do I look?

Fine, fine.

Put your flax up.

Put your flax up.

Okay, all right.

Okay, Answer.

Hey, Nermit.

Hey, guys.

Hey, man, I missed you.

I thought you were going to say goodbye before you left.

Oh, sorry.

You know, I had to get back, and you were sleeping, and I just, you know how it is.

But yeah, it was great being on the ship.

And I'm looking back in my office.

Feels good.

It was good to see you guys.

Yeah, I guess, you know,

as crazy as the last few weeks have been, things are kind of back to normal, huh?

Yeah, totally.

Like, uh, back in the minute.

Right.

Right.

Like Bino said, totally normal.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, like, I came back, I hung out with Mel, and

she was.

That was, why would you start?

Why would you lead with that, Nerman?

I said things are normal, and I just like I hadn't seen Mel in a while.

Mission.

Nermin, do you have a mission for us?

Yeah, totally.

Okay, so let me pull up a mission.

Oh, hey, Mal.

Sorry, guys.

We're gonna find a dark dough.

Are you ready to come or not?

Um, you know what?

Why not?

Uh, guys, do you know what she said?

No.

I do.

No, I don't.

Okay, I agreed to do something.

Cool, Mal.

See you there.

Maybe write it out for me so I...

Okay.

Alright, guys, so this is exciting.

Actually, you're going to go on a mission that is based on intel that you gathered.

It's exciting.

What does that mean?

Well, so the Rebellion finally, you know, processed the

Yeah, it wasn't.

It took them three months for that information to reach the Rebellion?

Well, it was they thought the second crusher was a typo, and so it wasn't.

I know you told me I filed it right, but they deleted all the second crusher they just thought it was a planet crusher which is a known thing came back to me for you know fact checking I put the crusher back in so now that they know it was a planet crusher crusher we need to visit this is a name a blast from the past you ready Zwag Tambouille

okay remember

the planet crusher that makes good sense yes so you guys are going to the tiger nebula strip mall to lie's with Zwag Tambouy to figure out who he's building these things for we were already planning on going to the mall.

We were actually planning on going to the mall.

What do you mean you were going to go?

It doesn't matter.

You don't tell me where to go.

I've already decided that we were going to the mall.

My job is literally to

tell you where to go.

It's my actual job, Garr.

I just have my own thoughts and feelings.

I didn't say you didn't.

I mean, you did.

You did say that earlier.

Okay, well then great.

You can continue going to the mall because it's the actual job.

Great.

And I'm going to knock this job out of the freaking

park.

Great.

That's what that's what we here at the Rebellion are all about.

So, um, so you guys have your mission, and I have uh my mission here.

Yeah, what is your mission again?

Hanging out with Mel.

Where?

I'm good.

That's for me to find out and for you to uh wonder.

Okay, couldn't care less.

See you, Nermit.

Bye.

I like this.

Hey, hey you, it's me, Vinnefer J.

Ryan, board-certified loan shock.

Whenever I loan out some of my precious, precious croon, I reach into the pocket of my mechanized water suit and hand the borrower my stunning Vistaprink business card.

See here?

It says Vinifer J.

Ryan on it.

And my tagline, you owe me a lot of croon.

Feel that card stock.

Yeah, look at that gorgeous ink.

People take this card and they're like, no way I'm gonna scan Finnefer J Ryan.

I've even loaned a lot of croon to one of the Council of Seven.

Huh?

How much does it cost to make a first impression like that?

Just $10.

How about that?

And if you don't have it, old Finnefer J.

Ryan might loan it to you.

And then you'll owe me a very small amount of croon.

With Fistaprint, you can easily upload your design or start with one of dozens of professionally designed options.

Add to the logo and your contact information with just a few clicks.

Check out this deal.

Vistaprint wants you to do something great with your business right now, which is why you can get 500 high-quality custom business cards starting at $9.99.

Use code mtz at vistaprint.com.

That's code mtz at vistaprint.com.

mtz at vistaprint.com.

Great.

Hey,

wait a second.

You,

it's me, Vinnifer J.

Ryan, Ford Certified Loan Shark.

Whenever I loan out some of my precious, precious croon, I reach into the pocket of my mechanized water suit and hand the borrower my stunning Fistaprint business card.

See here, it says Vinnifer J.

Ryan on it.

Well, this is where Zwong Zwongtabui's furniture store was the last time we were here, but this doesn't look good.

Yeah.

Welcome to Pierce Anything, where me and my partner, Bruce.

We pierce anything.

Yeah, no, we're good, actually.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we're good, we're good, we're good.

Uh, I actually could use a few piercings.

Okay, I just got my kidney pierced, that's awesome.

Looking dunking, fantastic, cool, bleeding out.

Yeah, shouldn't you, I don't know, sew that up?

We don't believe in sewing.

It's all organic.

What a square.

Not part of Piercing Protocol.

Alright, Bruce, great to meet you.

You don't happen to know who used to own the shop that you're in now, do you?

Me?

Or Bruce?

You.

My name is Bruce.

Your name is Bruce?

Ruce and Bruce.

Bruce is my protocol robot.

No, don't get close to me.

Bruce, Bruce, do you happen to know what happened to the.

Oh, they foreclosed.

Ugh.

money.

It was extremely mysterious.

Initiating Pierce Protocol.

Now get away from me.

Furniture is out and piercing is in.

Okay.

It's all about Piercing.

Two different markets, really.

Yeah.

Well, uh, Ruce, Bruce, thank you for the information.

Well, here's a certificate.

One piercing for the price of one.

Would you guys get pierced?

Nothing.

Calm down.

Why?

Did you just hang out outside the piercing parlor between piercings?

Of course, yeah.

I'm gonna go get my midsection pierced.

The whole midsection.

Yeah, torso, baby.

Bye.

Oh, boy.

Seems like you have to watch out for the spine, yeah.

We need a Blue Julius to drown our sorrows.

Samsarian accent.

Yeah, you know what?

Actually, Blue Julius sounds great.

Have Blue Julius.

I think a Blue Julius will go great with my new piercings.

Yeah, wow.

Yep.

Hello,

Wait a minute.

Pull your hood on, sir.

Sorry, this is standard Blue Julius uniform, a hood that covers my face.

Der old derf?

The

prophecy.

It's come true once again.

What are you doing here?

I'm waiting here for you.

That's.

I think you just have a job at the merchurian.

I can wait and work at the same time, earn a wage.

While you think it pays to wait around and fulfill the fabled scrolls of the Zema warriors, no, but you could be doing anything anything else.

This is one thing.

Oh, what have you been doing?

You're still palling around with these D-bags.

Well,

co-workers and friends.

D-bags?

What is a D-bag?

A dantomite bag.

Yeah, there's explosives.

Yes, it's an explosive bag you throw at enemies or into a small hole you want to make soon into a larger hole.

Do you not know about casual mining?

I don't.

You learned a lot.

You picked up a lot from that destroyed.

Yeah, I lived there for 40 years.

Went from young to old, now I'm older.

Wait, you were waiting for me before I was born?

Yes.

Bad plan.

Don't I know it?

You don't have to tell me.

Tell my family, it's stupid.

They know.

A solid 18 years before I was even born.

You were in.

Oh, the prophecy!

There's a, you know, it's a wide range.

It's not like they give you a date and a time.

Hey, be here at 4 p.m.

No, it's just like, wait around until it happens.

Did you get ejected into space?

Yes.

And you're alive.

I'm most comfortable in space.

I use the space.

That makes sense.

Yeah, of course.

Why wouldn't you?

Also, I had the oxygen tank

suit.

Yep.

Jetpack.

Shot over here, got a job making some cache.

And yes, I am older.

Fine, well, watch this.

Hey, wow.

That is good.

The gravity is higher on the body.

Do you hear my bone crack?

Yeah, it's the spine.

Yeah.

Are you alright?

Yeah, I'm good.

I'm just gonna sit up.

Are you worried at all about your wife and children?

No, they're gonna destroy it.

They have a controlling vote because there's only three other people and they were three, so

they're a voting block.

That place sucked anyway.

It's like when you know you're having a bad time, you know, it's not, it only can get worse.

I mean, yeah, that's I guess that's true.

Could get better.

Why are you still here with this droid?

He's got a bad attitude.

This is not the droid.

This is not the droid you're looking for.

Okay, all right, great.

Listen, Dirf.

Are you looking for a replacement droid?

No, no, I would never.

I would never do that.

Was you that safe guy from the humidifier?

Yeah.

Wow.

You got this dude a nude body and you're still palling around with him?

Yeah.

Get a nude droid.

There's a million droids.

Why you still got the same guy?

I mean, I don't know.

We know each.

We have a rapport.

We're friends.

Listen.

Bleck.

How has the training been going?

Surely you've been able to

master the space.

Um.

Yeah, I mean, you know, it.

Let me see your wood saber.

Oh, yeah, of course.

What?

This is the same.

Same one?

It's brit-broken, taped together with...

What is this?

Scotch tape?

That's not even the best tape.

Let me be honest.

Make a new woodsaber.

What are all these teeth marks?

Oh, that's Bino.

Oh, it's Bino.

You've got taken on someone to train to be your next assistant in the Z Memorial.

No, not exactly.

No, Bino is this

bean.

It used to be really warm, and now it has eyes and a lack of language.

Okay, that checks out.

No questions there.

So, uh...

I'm coming, but all right.

No, I get you.

A bean that cooled off, and then grew eyes in hands, and now his teeth, I guess.

I don't know.

Listen, Turf, what are you still a Zema knight?

What's happening?

Of course I am.

But why are you here?

Don't you understand?

When you become a Zema Knight, it is a lifestyle, it's a commitment, it's something that informs your life and every choice you make.

Are you guys in line?

Or

yeah, if you're not going to be able to do that.

You can go ahead.

Excuse me, sir.

Yeah.

I will take your order.

I am technically on the clock here.

What can I get for you?

I'll get the medium.

Oh, good choice.

Right in the middle.

Thanks, man.

Amen.

Live your life.

Oh, that's really good advice.

See?

Look at that.

I just helped him.

He's not even in the process.

That's not anything.

What?

Just live your life.

Yes, that's good advice.

Look at him.

Look how happy he is.

He's got two sparklers, one in each hand.

That's fun.

Hey, hey, hey, robot, what's your name?

Oh, it's not a name, it's a number.

What does that tell us about you?

What does the name Derf tell us about you?

Uh, it's old Derf, so there's an adjective there.

I don't know that we needed the word old to figure out all your name.

Oh, really?

Because my name is Old Derf, but I'm older than that.

Well,

are you guys in line?

No, no, go right ahead.

Just a little use, Clan.

Welcome to Blue Julius.

I am the

Zima Knight, obviously.

Can I take your order?

Obviously, obvious?

My robe, and it's over my eyes.

Sorry,

I'm actually a PD.

I'm a personal droid.

I can tell because you're literally shaking.

That's part of the programming.

I'm on this setting right now.

If you want, I can turn up to tremble.

No, no, no, no, no.

All those settings are a waste of energy.

Maybe wait, I just need to put an order in.

A large for Nermit Bundaloy.

No problem.

Who sent you?

Initiating wink protocol now.

I don't know what

a great nervous wink.

Okay, droid.

Where's Nermit?

Huh?

Where is he?

He's very important.

I can't actually say where he is, but he's terrible.

I know.

I know why you're here.

I know exactly why you're here.

Don't you guys get it?

What?

Nermit doesn't think that we're gonna knock this mission out of the park.

He doesn't believe in us.

Well, he thinks we are going to fail.

And you know what?

You can just ride around, little droid.

See, we are going to go find Zwag.

Yeah, and uh, Pleck, Zeman.

Zemonite, yeah.

I need to dive to speak to you of grave importance.

Okay, uh, sure.

Come pick you up later when you're done with your friend.

Yeah, sure, fine.

Yeah, good luck.

Let me know if you're a fan of the money.

Alright, take care, guys.

Hey, uh, droid, what's your name?

Peavy?

I think all of this is his name.

It's

finished the whole thing.

Oh, it's

Peavy?

Yeah, P-P-P-P-P-P-P.

Alright, well, tell Nermit Plex says hi.

Pleck, what are you doing?

What?

But Peavy,

I'll see

It's actually a very easy retro.

What did you do?

I just put up some columns, lit some candles,

put a tree in.

Oh, yeah, it looks good back here.

Some micro greens.

Huh?

Those are more for me.

I'm trying to like eat a little healthier.

Sure.

As I get older, I went from old to older, like, ugh.

Yeah, older derf.

Yeah.

The Nermit Bundaloy is the avatar of the whack.

What?

We're friends.

He's the person you must defeat to bring the space back into balance.

Derf,

I think the prophecy might be wrong.

I mean, sure, Nermit's kind of a dweeb, and he can kind of get carried away in things, you know, especially with Mel and his situation with Dar.

I don't really understand.

Oh, is he creating drama in your life?

Yeah, that's the f-the wedge!

That's how he works.

But see, we've always gotten along really well.

You and him?

Nermit and I, yeah.

But that doesn't mean you can't become mortal enemies, that one must kill the other.

But it's fine, because I'm sure you're like really working on your training.

You've come so far.

Like, are you a Zima Knight technically yet?

Well, maybe.

How would I know?

Tell to me about your mastery of the space.

Are you able to influence other people by gesturing at them?

Like, you point at someone and be like, hey, let me in front of you into this hollow.

Oh, no, yeah, I don't.

I usually let people go ahead.

Okay,

can you lift stuff

with your mastery of the space?

Yeah, I mean, yeah, lift this syrup container.

The blue syrup that you're putting in the Julius.

I know this door very well.

Okay, all right, yep, see, up and down.

There we go.

But hold it up.

You're barely even lifting.

You're shaking.

You're like that quiverbot.

Are you said to me?

Huh?

Let me look, you're honored.

What is this?

I don't know.

You're like Plopy, free spinach.

Plopy?

Plopy, yes.

Plopy, the spaceman.

Hmm.

Listen, I don't.

Is being a Zima warrior about being shaken?

Plopy, he's in love with.

I don't care about Plopy.

You should!

Why?

He was a Zima warrior!

Okay,

geez, this is all just letdowns.

You're still wearing shorts?

Obviously, you didn't take my big advice of dressing better.

It's very hot on the ship.

Are you still with the working for the Alliance?

No, no, no.

We're with the Rebellion now.

And you're still wearing these shorts?

Well, they don't have official uniforms for the Rebellion, so I...

Are you still wearing your old shorts?

Your bad guy shorts?

You've done nothing!

What have you done?

You've only gotten worse at everything.

What was I supposed to you took took my dehumidifier and left?

You had gave me no information.

I told you to let the space flow through you.

What does that mean?

Pleck,

I am your father.

What?

Father's dentist.

My father's father's dentist.

Yes.

Your grandfather's dentist.

Dentist, yeah, what do you know?

Yeah.

What does that have to do with anything?

Oh, that you don't care?

That's a f fun coincidence.

Yeah, I I mean, it's sort of fun.

It's certainly not significant.

It's very significant.

The most important space is the space between your teeth.

Yeah, well, that's why you're supposed to floss.

Exactly.

And the floss that I use is minty fresh.

Yes, good.

Now fresh.

And you use the freshness to get rid of the wax stuff that gets in between your teeth.

Wow.

one, two, three.

Now, excuse me, sir, while you're down there, I'm looking for a very specific shape for you to wax me in.

Uh-huh.

Great.

Dark, I have to say, the way that you and Nermit are attracting, I'm not sure is healthy long term for either of you.

I know.

You saw what happened today.

He sent someone to the Blue Julius.

He got in my head.

I know the nerve it may have put you off a little bit, but we don't actually know where Swag Tampui is.

I'm sorry.

What did you just say?

I said label it.

Label the pocket universe.

What do you want?

I'm sorry, I was just overheard something.

I don't know nothing.

I'm just a movie droid.

I can't tell you where I'm taking this furniture and this pocket universe that belonged to renowned galactic architect Swan Tampa.

So, does that mean you can't tell me any of the information?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm just a mover droid.

All I do is move things and give clues.

That's all I do.

I'm not telling you nothing, all right?

But what I am gonna do is go behind the small and continue packing up these boxes, Monzwa, Tampooi, into a spaceship that might go somewhere while loudly detailing the who's and wherewor's of this movie.

Alright, but

you really can't tell me.

I can't tell you anything.

Listen, I don't know what I was supposed to be doing, but I was thinking about the space a lot.

You thinking about it?

Yes.

I'd look out the window and I'd hold my woodsaber and I'd think about what is the space.

Hold on, listen.

This isn't like a homework assignment in

elementary school.

Okay.

This is the greatest single thing in the universe.

You don't know what's coming down your way.

Have you read the scrolls?

I left a bunch of Zima scrolls.

Those were...

What did you do with the wooden box?

With full of ancient scrolls.

We

ejected it,

but not on purpose.

It was sort of like a Bargie will just open her hatch sometimes and stuff stuff flies out.

You lost the ancient scrolls.

I mean, you might say the space took them back.

Don't use that against.

Don't say shit like that.

You can't just trick me.

Can you just like sum up the scrolls for me?

Oh,

sum up?

The ancient Zima warrior scrolls.

Yeah.

Okay, yeah, let me give you the little

short version.

Okay, sure.

Well, here's what it is.

You, Plattexeter, are the chosen one, and you're about to face off against the Emperor.

And you have you, the Emperor, let me tell you what, the Emperor's been working on the space.

The whack side.

The whack side of the space.

Wait, hold on.

Who is it?

What is the Emperor?

The Emperor is the most powerful warrior in

all of the universe.

But look me in the eyes.

The Emperor of what?

What?

The Emperor?

The Emperor of the Universe.

Okay.

The galaxy doesn't have an Emperor.

We have a Council of Seven.

I don't know all the politics.

I don't follow politics.

So I don't know.

I don't know about all this garbage.

I'm just telling you, there's an emperor coming for you, bro.

And I'm here to help.

I've been trying to help you from a distance.

I thought maybe me going out into space and dying would maybe leave an imprint on you, but apparently, it did not.

I mean, listen, I just didn't know.

You don't even change your shorts.

I didn't know there was a timeline.

Oh, when I left the airlock, I was in, like, hey, take your time, bro.

I'm dying.

dying.

Well, you didn't, for one.

Oh, sorry, I didn't die.

I was teaching you a lesson.

That's what a teacher does.

It was a fake lesson.

You literally put on the jetpack and got a job at a blue Julius.

The teacher puts on her show and then goes home, and then they have their own life.

And my version of that is working in this mall.

And yeah, I'm hooking up with people.

You didn't have to say that.

Oh, well, you're really coming at me.

With like, I'm not doing a good job here.

And I thought I was...

You're married.

You have kids.

That's that's my stroy life.

This mall life, totally different.

Like, I'm down there at the pretzel place.

Those things.

Very caloric, but I'll tell you what.

They hire very good-looking older women.

Older than you?

No one's older than me.

Do you know anyone older than me?

See how long my fingernails are?

I mean, Bino's old...

Gee, wow.

Don't bring it up this bean.

What is this?

Bino is significantly older than you.

Do you know how you sound?

Bringing up Bino all the time?

Yeah.

Listen, listen, I know a lot of the things that exist in my life.

They sound like someone made them up.

Maybe it's worth mentioning, Derf, that you think there's an emperor?

I don't think there's an emperor.

I know there's an emperor.

Okay, you will do battle with this emperor, and the fate of the entire universe relies on your winning this.

Do you believe in freshness?

I mean, do you believe in whackness?

You're still palling around with the ultimate whack,

Nermit Bundeloy.

I mean, are you have you been seduced by the whack sign?

What are you talking about?

Because honestly, like, I look at you and I'm like, whoa, that dude's whack.

What?

How so?

You got a really jucked up eye.

Okay.

You don't wear socks.

I don't understand why.

You told me I pulled them up too high, and so I took them off.

No, that's...

You overcompensated.

I've just said they looked stupid, pulled up high, and lately, let's be on your feet.

Your feet must stink.

No wonder the robot's always making fun of you.

You stink.

Okay, fine.

I'm doing everything wrong.

Tell me what to do.

So when inevitably you pretend to kill yourself again,

I would never do that again to you.

You never do that twice?

I would never do that again to you.

Okay, great.

I'm here to be your teacher.

You know, Durf, you have not given me a single concrete thing that I should be doing besides make a new woodsaber, which you told me was an ancient, elegant weapon.

It is that, but yours has a bunch of Scotch tape around it.

What are you gonna do with that?

Well, I killed a Zeldnaz with it.

Well, congratulations.

It was an allergy thing, so I didn't like skewer him or anything.

Oh, so you're cocky because you got lucky?

There seem to be

a certain

way it falls apart.

It's disintegrated underneath me.

It's

difficult to move, I'll tell you that much.

Sure, um, and where are you moving it to?

Oh, I can't tell you that.

Oh, it's because you're a bad droid and you don't know where you're taking it.

I'd hate to tell your boss that you are directionless.

Wait a minute.

No, it's in a secret location within the Federal Alliance space.

Oh, yeah, a secret location.

Oi, oi, oi, you really don't know where you're going.

Hey, boss, I'm supposed to label it as Quintaris Center.

Yeah, label it Quantaris Center.

Those are going there.

And you still won't tell us where he is.

Listen, I was programmed with an NDA.

I cannot speak on these things, but I can tell you, however, that he has an office on Quintaris, where he is clearly working for one of the Council of Seven, who I cannot name at this time.

I just wish you could give us any information that might help us.

Listen, the pieces are set on the board, the time is almost right, and the end game is about to go in motion.

But me,

I don't know nothing.

Well, Tor, I guess we're out of luck.

Wow, really?

You know,

can I have your manager's information?

Initiating outrage protocol!

Oh, hey!

Oh, hey!

How dare you!

He's gonna be like this right now.

Oh, I don't go into your work and say, give me your manager.

Oh, hey!

Backing up, and

just closing.

Oh,

First off, use the space.

Okay, so I'll just take your shirt off.

Why?

Look, I'm just the conduit from the space.

Are you shy?

A little?

Well, that's one thing you're gonna have to get over.

You're the chosen one.

So let's do this.

Oh, oh, okay, never mind.

Put it back on.

Too pink.

What?

You're very.

You're pinker than I expected.

All of my body looks the same.

No, I think it's pinker around the torso.

Okay, alright.

Shirts back on.

Great.

I'm gonna do a backflip onto your right.

Please don't do that.

What?

Why?

Okay, good.

This is tentatively good.

You're so heavy.

I know.

I'm also very sweaty.

Alright, well, I guess let's head out.

Yep.

Run.

Okay.

Walk a little bit.

Walk fast.

Okay.

How is this building my connection to the space?

Let me be honest.

I don't know.

So,

how will I know the Emperor when I see the Emperor?

Oh, he'll be the known ruler of the universe, so that's a thing.

There's a battle coming, so there's a great astral conflagration coming.

Everything that you know will start to fall apart.

The reality that you've grown comfortable with, clearly, because you just like go around the planets and I don't know.

What did you do?

What have you been working on at home?

Like, what have you been working on earlier today?

Earlier today?

Yeah, what great task were you accomplishing earlier today?

Oh, I was working on a song.

Oh, a fight song.

A song to inspire the troops that you will command.

Okay, let me hear it so that I may let it resonate through the ages.

Yeah, I will.

Since you've lost the great scrolls, the Zima Scrolls, I will start a new scroll with this great song that you've created.

The concert the mall was gonna put on was cancelled because the main star didn't show up.

Oh, but this is- What are you gonna do?

Don't you see how the space guides us here?

Look, look, right down here in the food court, there's a teeming crowd of people, potential soldiers, waiting to be inspired by you, the great one.

I'll make a short announcement, and you'll come out and sing your song.

Thank you for telling me.

Of course, I mean, we're gonna shut it down, but it's not ready.

It's not ready.

My song.

You are ready.

This is your moment to shine.

And like I said, I will never abandon you.

But if you blow this, I'm gonna straight up kill myself right on stage.

No, I'm just telling you this right now, okay?

So this is gonna be great.

Ready?

Greetings, food court participants.

Thank you for dining at the bourbon chicken spa, the multiple taco places.

Anyway, thank you for coming here.

This is an important announcement.

You're all the first soldiers in the great army that will bring the universe back into balance.

The space has brought us all here, and I will...

I can't wait to see Bliff Neur.

Oh, okay, one quick update on that.

Blyth couldn't be here.

I think he...

No, no, no, no, no,

he's totally whacked.

Bliff.

He leans on his collaborators.

It's really, that dude's on the way out, okay?

You're a hater!

Bliff!

We're all bliff heads here.

Yeah, no, clearly, but I'm gonna blow your bliff heads right off your bliff necks.

Because I got the future.

What?

Is any threatening our lives?

No, that was a.

No, you said blif heads, I was just

gonna strain my bliff neck.

I can't.

If you're gonna put some kind of pressure on it.

No, don't strain your bliff necks.

Crane your blifnecks for our next guest.

Okay.

Man, you guys are dedicated fans.

You're not even listening to literally the words I'm saying.

Bliff is over.

Bliff is dead?

No, he's just...

Did you kill Bliff?

They killed Bliff.

Let me be honest, I said.

You You took his head right off his Blyth neck.

Who's singing?

Okay, great.

Thank you.

Good.

We have a great guest for you.

This guest is going to be the leader of the fight that will bring the space back into palace.

Hey, guys, it's me, Bliff, so I'm leading.

Hey, everybody.

All right, coming on.

What?

What?

What?

This is my show.

Yeah, I know.

Sit down.

I know.

What?

Your patented rap-rock style is just gonna have to wait a second.

Blyph.

Okay, one sec.

Blyth, I have an opening act for you.

Okay.

That's destined to be the headliner of the universe.

You won't understand this now.

There's an emperor rising in this quadrant that is.

Just get to him!

Wow, oh, big attitude all of a sudden.

Please welcome to the stage your the

God, Blyph.

God, Bliff,

you know what, Blyph, why don't you come with me for a second?

Blue Julius, I'm here.

Yeah, I'll take a large.

It's like a milkshake, but not as good.

Let me just take it back, grab a quick blue, and I welcome to the stage the chosen one.

He's got a song that's going to inspire you to rise up and take down the Emperor.

Please welcome Plek Dexetter, Zima Warrior.

When I'm flying through space, it makes me feel great.

I love it in space because I have a couple mates.

A second mate called C-53

and a big dark.

guy just set himself on fire.

No, oh, Derf, Black, you did this to me!

Oh,

that was like the reverse inspiring!

That was like a song parody of a good song, and now I will burn.

You did this to me!

Derf, what are you doing?

That's the song.

That's the song you're doing.

It's a work in progress.

Well,

Master the space you must.

I can't be here anymore because you really embarrass me in front of the entire mall.

Why can't you just come with me and then actually teach me for once?

No, take what I've taught you already.

You taught me almost literally nothing.

This is a high-stakes way to end our lesson.

You need to get ready to face off the Emperor that is rising even now as we speak.

As these flames crawl up my robe.

Don't you don't have to do that.

It's

I can't light it up, my woodsaber is like all burnt up.

Derf, I wish I could be with you, but I'm instead going to be dead.

And these are my last words.

Please, punch me out for blue, Julius.

I don't want to run up the payroll.

Derf.

Derf.

Hey, guys, it's blur.

What am I?

Ready for the show.

You have received an audio transmission from Rebellion Headquarters.

Playback will follow decryption.

Attention, Rebels.

This is Commander Rolfus Tittle.

We here at Rebel Command know that the Rebellion is stressful.

Sometimes you just need to escape this harsh reality for a bit.

That's why we recommend that all Rebels listen to Imaginary Worlds.

It's a great podcast all about science fiction and other fantasy genres.

A super bingeable deep dive into an array of geeky topics.

You can start with the first episode that looks at what makes a good origin story, or check out the mini-series episodes about Star Wars, Doctor Who, and Harry Potter.

I'll tell you, losing yourself in those fantastical stories is a wonderful salve for the psychic toll of battling the Federated Alliance and the junked-up 6th Squadron.

And also, you know, if you happen to be in any dysfunctional personal relationships or in ever-faltering denial about a clone RB being made from your genetic code, I've heard it's a great little get away from those things as well.

That's Imaginary Worlds, exploring the fan experience, what makes us suspend our disbelief, and what happens when that spell is broken.

With host Eric Malinsky, through years of public radio experience, Eric brings a thoughtfully produced voice to the far out and the fantastical.

Listen and subscribe at imaginaryworldspodcast.org, wherever you get your podcasts.

Long live the rebellion, tittle out.

End of message.

Wait, this so this is insane.

So we know that Swak Tambui, the architect for the Planet Crusher and the Planet Crusher Crusher, is going to Kuntara as the capital of the Federated Alliance.

He'd shipped his pocket universe there where he could actually produce multiple planet crushers and it's all in service of some member of the council.

So

listen, Nermit.

Yeah, I'm gonna put this in for processing.

No, Nermit, listen, you have to just take it straight to Rolfus' office.

This is important.

He hates that.

No, but just.

I'm gonna mark this middle high priority.

What?

Just high priority.

No, that's really reserved for it.

They're not.

For what?

They just said.

They really try to shy.

Like, you gotta be sure.

You don't want to nervous yourself.

Yeah.

Nermit, yeah.

Take it in your hand over to Rolfus right now.

Okay.

I'm gonna put it on my list.

What?

What?

What is on your list besides that?

Nothing, but I wrote it on the second line in case something one more important thing happens.

What did you talk about?

No one knows what happens in the future.

That's a good point.

But I will tell you this:

the prophecy states that there's a battle coming and that I'm going to be very prominently featured as

an old, older friend.

An older...

Alright.

And I got a 185 bowling while everyone was gone.

Oh, that's pretty good.

Yeah.

That's pretty good.

They put up those inflatable things on the sides.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's actually pretty low.

Honestly, I'm 19 inches tall, guys.

Throw me a bone.

Sure.

I bought a hat.

At the mall?

Yeah, at the ship mall, which is next to it.

Oh.

I didn't really notice the ship mall.

Yeah, I bought a hat.

So that's a thing that happened to me.

Also, I booked a pot, so.

I don't know.

I just wanted to

power of my profession, because I've kind of been in a bad place.

And Bito, why don't you tell him about my new role?

Beetle books Bargé under 5.

Yeah, it'll be a spaceship that's moving boxes and telling these two detective people

just what happened.

But like under five lines of information.

Because if you do over five lines, you get a higher rate, and this is a long budget thing.

That's

10 45%.

Yes,

seems high, Bino.

Well, that's what you gotta do in your career in the beginning when your beginning starts over again.

Be no no hollow business.

Anyway, we're shooting it right now.

So everyone, be quiet.

I'm gonna do my first take.

Wait, we're gonna go are we in this show?

Yep.

Well, you're inside of me.

You're not like visually.

should we get out should we duck below the windows so

great great

So where were you that night?

I was here in space just waiting for you to come here

and I found a box and inside of it

Oh you just found a box

Well, I guess that's all we need to know from you, isn't it?

Goodbye.

Can I do a second date?

Yeah, we got it.

Thank you very much.

One and done.

Yeah, that's what they say before.

I think we're gonna lose that.

All right, Nermit.

Well, you know, let us know what we can do with the, you know, impending conflict.

Enjoy your blue Julius, by the way.

What do you mean?

The Blue Julius that you

met your guy.

Oh, sure, you guys all enjoyed blue Julius's and I didn't get one.

That's really nice.

You enjoy your blue Julius.

I don't have a Blue Julius.

I wasn't at the strip mall with you.

What are you talking about?

Alright, you know what, guys?

I'll talk to you guys later.

I'm gonna be in my room.

Oh, Bino.

Oh, Bina found this box.

What do you mean?

Been found this box.

Beano loved fine woodwork.

Beano, these are Durf's ancient scrolls.

Where did you get these?

Bino now.

Alright, well, thank you, Bino.

Read the scrolls.

What?

Dirf?

I knew you faked it.

You did it again.

Yeah, from where?

Spacer.

Easy answer, but Space.

Alright, fine.

I'll read the scroll.

It's what I was going to do.

I'm not going to sit alone in my room and open the box and then not read the scrolls.

Okay.

Oh,

you know what?

The payroll's going to be a nightmare.

This is Sea Red IT5, Credits and Attributions Droid, commencing outro protocol.

Emissary Plech Dexeter was played by Alden Ford.

C-53 was played by Jeremy Bent.

Security Officer Dar was played by Ali Kokesh.

The Bargerian Jade and Roos were played by Mujan Zolfagari.

Missions Operations Manager Nermit Bundeloy and Blyth DeMore were played by Seth Lynd.

Bino and Bruce were played by Winston Null.

Older Derf was played by special guest Justin Tyler.

Justin is an actor, writer, and director in New York.

He is co-creator of the U-Steak character showcase, Characters Welcome, and hosts the weekly variety show, Gentrify, with Alden Ford and Brandon Scott Jones.

He also co-hosts Comic Book Club, a weekly comic book show and podcast in NYC.

Follow him on Twitter at JTSizzle.

This episode was edited by Seth Lynde with sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell.

Recorded at Robert Doggy Jr.'s Puppy Palace in Brooklyn, New York.

Music by Brennan Ryan.

Opening curl narration by Jeremy Crutchley.

Ship designed for the Bargarian Jade by Eric Boyce.

Mission to Zix is brought to this galaxy by Audioboom.

Thanks, Audioboom.

Do you want to be a Zema warrior?

Join the other defenders of the space on Patreon and get custom ringtones, free merch, and more.

Go to patreon.com/slash mission to zix and fulfill your destiny.

Okay, yep, fair enough.

Whoa, that old guy just set himself on fire.

Oh, dirt, black, you did this to me.

Oh,

you, that was like a the weird owl version of a song that we needed to hear.

It was reverse inspiring.

That was like a song parody of a good song, like a strange owl version of it.

And now I will burn.

You did this to me.

That was awesome.

Great.

I mean, I don't know.

I just thought that was funny to have him killing himself again somehow.

I mean, I promised multiple times I wouldn't die.

So I was definitely going to die.

Yeah.