201: Long Live The Rebellion!

Speaker 1 It is a period of civil war.

Speaker 1 Can't believe I'm saying that again. We just finished the last one, but here we are.

Speaker 1 A heroic team of ambassadors has destroyed the administrative starship Delegator, dealing a crippling blow to the evil and corrupt Federated Alliance. Also, Wink ate that guy's face.

Speaker 1 Now, aboard the Bargerian Jade, former ambassador Pleck Dexetter Dexetter and his crew have returned to the most distant, crappy quadrant of the galaxy to escape the Alliance's vengeful agents and to attempt a rendezvous with rebel forces who operate from a hidden base and are terrible at returning calls.

Speaker 1 In the bustling alleyways of the desert moon of Krynth, three figures make their way through the crowd in search of a familiar facade.

Speaker 1 Traitors to the alliance and strangers to the rebellion, they have no choice but to set out on their own mission.

Speaker 6 A mission to

Speaker 8 Now as a reminder, Pleck, don't touch anything.

Speaker 10 Oh man, this is terrifying.

Speaker 7 I mean...

Speaker 12 Oh, no, he's not for sale, please.

Speaker 8 Is that what they were saying?

Speaker 13 Yeah, they think you're my little

Speaker 13 plaything.

Speaker 11 I'm under its foot.

Speaker 5 Oh, oh, hey, listen. Uh, could you just lift up your- lift up your foot and let's lift your foot.

Speaker 5 No!

Speaker 11 What?

Speaker 10 Nermit! Your tail!

Speaker 16 Oh, it's tore my tail off!

Speaker 6 Are you okay?

Speaker 18 Uh, it'll grow back very slowly.

Speaker 10 Wait, are you you're fine with that?

Speaker 18 It just looks so stupid.

Speaker 19 Ugh, never mind.

Speaker 10 Just keep going.

Speaker 10 Man, none of these- none of these aliens speak regular.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what is that? What language is it?

Speaker 18 I think it's Jantawa.

Speaker 7 Oh.

Speaker 6 Is that an alien? Jantawa, Jantawa, Jantawa.

Speaker 15 Jantawa to you, my good man.

Speaker 11 Jantawa, don't say that. What?

Speaker 7 We don't know what you're saying back.

Speaker 6 It's

Speaker 18 every word in Jantawa is Jantawa, but it depends how you say it.

Speaker 7 Oh, okay.

Speaker 20 It's all about inflection.

Speaker 6 Jantawa. Jantawa.

Speaker 21 Okay, let's keep moving along.

Speaker 8 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry.

Speaker 11 Jantawa.

Speaker 5 Jantawa.

Speaker 7 How did that work?

Speaker 19 That means goodbye.

Speaker 18 Man, where are we gonna find it?

Speaker 18 This place looked a lot different last time we were here, right?

Speaker 12 Well, the last time we were here, they knew we were an ambassador team, so a lot of the illegal activity was out of sight, out of mind.

Speaker 2 That's a really good idea.

Speaker 10 I've never been anywhere.

Speaker 22 I'm sorry.

Speaker 19 I mean, I've never been.

Speaker 22 I mean, I'm sorry.

Speaker 20 I'm very sad to hear that for you.

Speaker 10 Thank you.

Speaker 18 What do you think?

Speaker 10 Is this like cool?

Speaker 3 It's really cool. Look at all these creatures and there's what is what is they even selling?

Speaker 18 That's like a liquid that's on fire.

Speaker 9 Oh

Speaker 11 I think

Speaker 11 all over the six squad champions Do you have any big fingers? Yeah,

Speaker 13 but like I'm I want to know like how big we're attacking here.

Speaker 20 About this big

Speaker 12 that's too big you just said you had big fingers

Speaker 8 about this size.

Speaker 6 Oh that I don't know.

Speaker 12 this is too big for you.

Speaker 6 Let's move on.

Speaker 2 This is not helpful to you.

Speaker 17 All right, all right.

Speaker 18 There it is. There it is.

Speaker 12 Yeah, that does feel

Speaker 12 fortuitous.

Speaker 23 Stephen, get the droids.

Speaker 2 Come on, British.

Speaker 24 Let me get all the droids lined up.

Speaker 26 Get an arm out here or something, Steph.

Speaker 23 I show them that we got droids. Come to my store.
I am Fondo Parkwad. Fondo, hey, good to see you again, buddy.

Speaker 18 It's me, Plech Deck, Ambassador Plech Deck Setter.

Speaker 14 Huh?

Speaker 24 You don't look like you're an ambassador and your clothes are all dirty and ragged.

Speaker 6 Yeah, wear your shorts, huh?

Speaker 23 What?

Speaker 15 I changed into pants because listen, listen, doesn't it?

Speaker 23 Wait a minute.

Speaker 17 Stephi.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 15 These are the juckers who bought that bloader droid.

Speaker 24 Oh, yeah, you bought B69420.

Speaker 18 He was, you know, B69420 was here for a good time, not a long time.

Speaker 23 So.

Speaker 5 Wait, what happened to him?

Speaker 6 He's dead.

Speaker 15 He died.

Speaker 24 What are you killing droids for?

Speaker 5 Hey, Stephi, it sounds like you must be in the market for a new droid.

Speaker 19 Yeah, that's actually exactly what we're here for.

Speaker 23 Oh, yeah. Sorry, boys.

Speaker 24 We got a lot of good.

Speaker 15 Come in, come in, come in, come on.

Speaker 18 All right, listen, we're here to buy a

Speaker 18 C unit.

Speaker 26 A sex unit, huh?

Speaker 18 No, no, no. No, no, just a regular C unit.

Speaker 18 No, absolutely not.

Speaker 26 Yeah, you could have a C unit do any weird thing you want.

Speaker 21 Okay.

Speaker 12 Now, to be clear, all of your C units are used.

Speaker 2 Huh? Yeah, it's Fondo Pakwad's used droid emporium.

Speaker 18 Yeah, I would say the least, probably the least used C-Series you've got would be great. Your basic C-series frame.

Speaker 23 I don't know if we have anything that basic. Stephen,

Speaker 6 go find me a basic one.

Speaker 15 Alright.

Speaker 13 Ooh, Nermit, what are you playing with there?

Speaker 20 I think I found is this like a little mech?

Speaker 6 No.

Speaker 19 This is insane.

Speaker 19 How are you controlling?

Speaker 6 That's a can opener.

Speaker 2 It's a can opener.

Speaker 19 But it fits me perfect, and it's like...

Speaker 2 I mean, do you want to buy it?

Speaker 18 I mean, it walks around when you're in it.

Speaker 23 But its prime function is to open cans. Let's get it.

Speaker 18 Sure. We'll take the mech in your least gross C-Series.

Speaker 12 Looks pretty normal.

Speaker 5 Here's the thing.

Speaker 6 Old Fundo Parkwad's gonna throw in a few nipples for you if you wanna.

Speaker 19 How's that sound? How many nipples?

Speaker 2 Throwing in three nips.

Speaker 11 Perfect.

Speaker 6 I don't even think you need Parkwad

Speaker 16 Ha, what?

Speaker 15 What?

Speaker 19 Huh? What? What? What? Nothing. Ha!

Speaker 6 I don't know.

Speaker 2 What do you say?

Speaker 2 You want more than three nipples? No.

Speaker 1 You got a cube? Where's the cube?

Speaker 19 Yeah, we got a cube.

Speaker 17 It's right.

Speaker 6 Oh. Oh, all right.

Speaker 6 Weird every time.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 12 That's the safest place to keep it.

Speaker 15 Alright, let's boot this thing up right in the store.

Speaker 26 That's the park wad guarantee.

Speaker 19 Okay.

Speaker 18 I thought that three nipples was.

Speaker 6 Shut up.

Speaker 6 C53!

Speaker 1 Do I have skin?

Speaker 18 It was the most basic model we could get.

Speaker 6 I mean, it's great. It's terrifying.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Can you take that?

Speaker 18 Can you remove that?

Speaker 6 Can you remove your skin, Ambassador?

Speaker 6 No.

Speaker 19 No, should I? I mean, should I?

Speaker 6 No. You should run.

Speaker 5 Is that a question that you needed me to answer?

Speaker 18 At least you tore off your hand a few months ago.

Speaker 18 Is it near?

Speaker 25 Is there like a beep going with your servos?

Speaker 3 Like a functor?

Speaker 18 I think your pelvis is on.

Speaker 6 Can you turn that off?

Speaker 26 Oh, yeah, the pelvis is automatic.

Speaker 26 Yeah,

Speaker 26 it's the switch right back here.

Speaker 18 So yeah, you know what? We'll just take this C unit and can opener and we'll be on our way.

Speaker 18 Get down on the ground. All of you.
Get down on the ground.

Speaker 23 That is my

Speaker 19 Get down.

Speaker 4 Get down.

Speaker 15 Get down on the ground. What?

Speaker 8 Kate. Listen.

Speaker 4 Shut up. What? We'll blow your jucking head off.

Speaker 15 We're not messing around. What?

Speaker 14 Listen up. We're on the lookout for a team of ambassadors that blew up the delegator.

Speaker 4 I mean, ambassador Dexter successfully immediately vacate these places. What?

Speaker 27 Listen, we're looking for these guys.

Speaker 27 So, if you ever see Turk mannequin or tiny suits, you let us know.

Speaker 5 Here's a hollow of them. Come on,

Speaker 5 Turk Mannequin.

Speaker 21 Look at that. Look at that jawline.

Speaker 27 He's the number one enemy of the Federated Alliance.

Speaker 18 Keep a lookout for him. We're gonna find him.
Because I don't know.

Speaker 14 I'm kind of the guy.

Speaker 14 Like, I'm kind of a finder.

Speaker 5 C53, let's get not a lot of

Speaker 5 you're the finder because I think maybe well, you know, I'm actually leading this go.

Speaker 4 Excuse us, excuse me, we're gonna scoot around.

Speaker 21 Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 27 No, I think of all of us here. I'm well, I know you can think that, but I think

Speaker 27 I don't mean to butt in, but I think I might be the finder.

Speaker 27 I'm gonna punch you, is what's gonna happen.

Speaker 12 I just realized we walked out without paying.

Speaker 11 You have received an audio transmission from Rebellion Headquarters. Playback will follow decryption.

Speaker 28 Listen up, rebels. This is Commander Sisu Gundu here to tell you that support for our rebellion against the super lame federal alliance comes from Squarespace.
Guess what?

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It's a real, real website.

Speaker 28 This is the place where we post super sweet rebel stuff that you don't even hear about in our weekly propaganda audio.

Speaker 28 Every time you hear a Squarespace message here, that's how you know there's exciting new, exclusive stuff up on therebellion.space. And that's not all.

Speaker 28 You can use Squarespace to turn your cool idea into a new website.

Speaker 28 Easily showcase your work, publish a blog, sell products and services of all kinds using beautiful templates created by Galaxy-class designers. Head to squarespace.com/slash zix for a free trial.

Speaker 28 And when you're ready to launch, use offer code Zix

Speaker 28 to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. We also link to this amazing offer on your favorite new website, the rebellion.space.

Speaker 4 See through all

Speaker 11 end of message.

Speaker 18 Alright, Bargie, open up the hatch. Let's scoot on out of here.

Speaker 29 Okay, uh, just because I haven't been doing much, I've just been sitting here for a while. I've just been redecorating my hatch, so it's gonna like open in a new way.

Speaker 18 Your head-you redecorated your hatch? Yeah, how does that physically happen?

Speaker 18 Do you have like robotic arms that come out there?

Speaker 29 Sorry, what is the point of this getting inside of my ship and shit chat? I don't understand.

Speaker 18 Guess I'll never know.

Speaker 29 Anyway, my hatch will open in a new fun way.

Speaker 21 This is fun, anyway.

Speaker 29 Anyway, uh, everyone gets inside, get comfy.

Speaker 29 Again, I sold all my furniture.

Speaker 6 Why why?

Speaker 29 Where are we getting money? I don't know.

Speaker 29 Also, I'm not using oil anymore. I'm just using, um, like dirt that I found from other planets and I've that must be gumming up everything.
Yeah, whatever.

Speaker 4 Having a good time.

Speaker 29 All right, well, since you're all in here, uh, may I say I don't have any more water for us to take showers, but figure it out because you all stink.

Speaker 18 Thanks, Bargie.

Speaker 20 That felt directed.

Speaker 4 I can tell even this frame has a sort of lingering odor.

Speaker 22 And I don't know that it'll ever go away.

Speaker 18 Yeah, Bargie, while we were gone, anything come across the radio?

Speaker 29 Uh, yeah, I had a good conversation with my best friend, ship Cheryl.

Speaker 18 No, I mean, like, did you hear any? Is there any leads that we could follow? Any information? We, like, we don't know how to find the rebellion.

Speaker 29 Well, Cheryl did say something very interesting. You know, my old percentage for this.

Speaker 11 Okay, yeah.

Speaker 29 This is very interesting. Okay, everyone ready for this.

Speaker 29 Everyone has open a gape, a ghast your mouth.

Speaker 4 A gape, a gap in.

Speaker 21 A gap in the middle.

Speaker 12 I bet it does have a mouse.

Speaker 21 That's perfectly round.

Speaker 20 Oh my, you can unhinge your jaw.

Speaker 19 I feel like if we're lacking water,

Speaker 18 if we're lacking water, it's not really safe to keep our mouths open because the

Speaker 21 water will evaporate.

Speaker 29 Honestly, do it at me one, I don't care.

Speaker 18 What did Cheryl say, Bargie?

Speaker 29 Cheryl said director Jane Jane Joa is looking for an older ship to be in his new indie film.

Speaker 4 Oh, that's great, Bargie.

Speaker 20 Congratulations. About the rebellion?

Speaker 4 No, that wasn't.

Speaker 6 Okay, okay, cool.

Speaker 12 I'm glad we closing my mouth now.

Speaker 18 So, no water.

Speaker 12 Yep, but do we miss the Federated Alliance?

Speaker 2 No, John.

Speaker 18 You know, Dar, I don't want to speak for you, but maybe we should dig into that big pile of croon you got in your room.

Speaker 12 I'm sorry, I don't have access to it right now.

Speaker 18 Wait, what do you mean? What happened to it?

Speaker 12 I invested it.

Speaker 18 You invested it?

Speaker 21 Yeah.

Speaker 18 What did you invest in?

Speaker 21 Bit Crune.

Speaker 6 Hmm.

Speaker 16 That seems.

Speaker 18 Isn't Bit Croon just smaller pieces of croon?

Speaker 19 I will admit, it

Speaker 12 seemed like a sound investment at the time.

Speaker 12 And right now, we are in a tailspin.

Speaker 21 But.

Speaker 19 Oh, no.

Speaker 18 Is Bit Croon crashing?

Speaker 8 Yes.

Speaker 21 It'll pick back up again. Okay.

Speaker 18 Based on a logical fallacy?

Speaker 4 Well, you're the arbiter of that.

Speaker 7 Okay, I don't really. Yeah.

Speaker 19 Oh, we have a

Speaker 4 messenger deck setter. I have an incoming transmission from former junior missions operations manager.

Speaker 18 No, it's not. It's not.
I'm here.

Speaker 6 Look down.

Speaker 18 I'm not calling in to hear. There's a mess.
I heard it coming in. Pick it up.

Speaker 6 Hi. Hello?

Speaker 18 That's us. That could be us.

Speaker 18 Yes. Hello.

Speaker 19 It's us.

Speaker 20 How can we help?

Speaker 18 How can we help? We're here in the Bargerian Jade.

Speaker 4 The Bargerian Jade has joined the rebellion?

Speaker 29 Yes.

Speaker 21 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Do you want help or not, dude? I'm about to die. My ship is going to be smashed into a thousand pieces on the surface of this ice world.

Speaker 18 All right, listen, Mr. Tardigas.
Well, head your your way. Give us the coordinates.
I'm sending them to you now. I have only seconds to live.

Speaker 29 That's really far.

Speaker 18 Yeah, do you think we can can you hyperdrive into a atmosphere?

Speaker 20 Do you think you could save a rebel pilot, Bargie?

Speaker 31 Does he have fuel for me?

Speaker 29 Does he have how much will we give with him?

Speaker 4 This fighter is loaded with fuel. That's what makes this crash landing so dangerous.
As soon as I hit the surface, I'll atomize.

Speaker 4 I've only got ten seconds to go.

Speaker 19 All right, we'll be there. We'll be there.

Speaker 21 Bargie, burn dirt.

Speaker 26 Well, let me just shake your hand, sir.

Speaker 18 Oh, yeah, of course, you know.

Speaker 26 Surely I would have perished not for your assistance.

Speaker 6 Thank you.

Speaker 18 Hey, no, no, no problem. Just doing our duty as rebels.

Speaker 19 Yeah.

Speaker 18 I mean, heard your distressed call and just thought, yeah, let's go.

Speaker 26 Well, you'd be surprised how many people out here in space will hear a distressed call and this leave you to burn up in a lava flow.

Speaker 21 Well, not us.

Speaker 12 Not us. We're

Speaker 29 just like I'm too far away. I don't know what the situation is.
You can't just pick anybody up, you know what I mean?

Speaker 30 Sure.

Speaker 12 Except when

Speaker 21 they're

Speaker 19 from the Rebel Alliance.

Speaker 25 Sure.

Speaker 26 Listen, can anyone on this ship fix a hyperdrive?

Speaker 19 You?

Speaker 19 Me?

Speaker 12 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Give it to me.

Speaker 26 What luck. Take a look, see what you can do.
I put it through its paces, that's for sure.

Speaker 12 Oh, it's inside.

Speaker 6 Yeah,

Speaker 8 internal hyperdrive.

Speaker 6 Right, right.

Speaker 25 Darno's way more than I think.

Speaker 16 Sure.

Speaker 26 When we get back to Rebel headquarters, you'll be greeted with a hero's welcome for saving me.

Speaker 19 All right. Mark Tardagast.
Yeah, all right.

Speaker 18 Well, you know, it just so happens, we happen to be the team that blew up the old delegator.

Speaker 26 I'm speaking with Turk Mannequin.

Speaker 26 I am honored, sir. Give me your hand.

Speaker 18 No, no, no, no, no. Actually, that was a mistake.

Speaker 18 It's sort of credited generally to Turkmannekin, but it was us. I was actually the junior missions operations manager who was about to be promoted.

Speaker 6 Is there a droid somewhere I don't see?

Speaker 21 Oh, hi.

Speaker 6 Oh, hey, there, little guy.

Speaker 18 Yeah, yeah, we do have a droid that's C-53 right behind you.

Speaker 4 Hello. Oh, hello.

Speaker 26 Pretty good-looking sea unit got there.

Speaker 18 Can I just ask?

Speaker 19 We've sort of been kind of out of the loop, out of the whole rebel loop for a couple weeks.

Speaker 18 What's the status over there?

Speaker 26 Well, to be perfectly honest with you, friend, it's not going that well.

Speaker 17 Really?

Speaker 26 Obviously, the Federated Alliance has dealt a huge blow when the Delegator was taken down.

Speaker 19 Sure, a crippling blow.

Speaker 26 But still got quite a fight ahead of us if we're gonna take down the Federated Alliance.

Speaker 18 Hark, can I ask you, is the Rebellion looking for like some Zema warriors like in touch with the space?

Speaker 6 Zema warriors. Yeah.

Speaker 18 Okay.

Speaker 18 Well, you know, we're here to help in any way we can, because we're rebels. Yeah, and you're like a hero rebel pilot.

Speaker 29 And you know a lot of hollow directors are doing a lot of gritty-nitty indie films in the rebellion. You know, I uh I don't really do this a lot, but I'm just gonna eject a little tape.

Speaker 29 Someone can pick it up.

Speaker 21 Oh, yeah, totally.

Speaker 29 Alright, and just cook some of my finest works. I gotta show you.
I added some new stuff to some new models.

Speaker 26 You're really struggling there, little guy.

Speaker 25 You're gonna drag it over. Oh,

Speaker 18 oh, don't carry me.

Speaker 3 Drop it, drop it. You're carrying me.

Speaker 21 Stop holding me.

Speaker 29 You can do a lot of real emotion, a lot of anger, a lot of comedy, you know, whatever. Oh, all I'm very out of arranged.

Speaker 18 Bargie's looking for work.

Speaker 22 We're not working for anyone right now.

Speaker 12 That's why we're sitting on the floor.

Speaker 18 Yeah, we had to sort of sell our furniture.

Speaker 26 Well, listen, you certainly got me out of a jam. And I think I ought to return the favor.
Do you mind if I use your communications equipment?

Speaker 18 Uh, go right ahead. Yeah, of course.
Uh, C53, do you mind?

Speaker 4 Not at all.

Speaker 26 Tittle, it's me, Hark Tardigas. Hark!

Speaker 27 Can't believe it's you.

Speaker 4 We thought we lost you.

Speaker 26 I thought I was lost, but these fine folks just rescued me. And even though they may look like,

Speaker 26 well, street people,

Speaker 25 they've got good hearts.

Speaker 26 I give my full recommendation to this crew to become emissaries of the rebellion.

Speaker 18 Oh, emissary is like

Speaker 18 sort of like an ambassador, right?

Speaker 26 No, no, they're nothing like each other.

Speaker 27 No, they're not like each other at all. One's an ambassador and what's an emissary.

Speaker 26 The rebellion is in need of crews that visit new planets.

Speaker 2 Do you understand?

Speaker 25 On behalf of the rebellion. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 18 I just have to say, we have so much experience in this field.

Speaker 18 We're set up to exactly do what

Speaker 18 we're doing.

Speaker 25 All right, he seems overexcited.

Speaker 27 What happened to his tail?

Speaker 25 What?

Speaker 18 I lost this tail in the field of battle.

Speaker 27 Listen, I'm looking at you guys, and I

Speaker 27 like your gumption.

Speaker 18 Well, hey, I'm in. Let's do it.

Speaker 25 Fantastic.

Speaker 26 Then I hereby deputize you as emissaries of the rebellion.

Speaker 4 Hold on, hold on.

Speaker 30 Quick, quick, quick, cue.

Speaker 12 RG, what's that?

Speaker 12 A tiny question.

Speaker 29 Um,

Speaker 29 are we being paid? Because I'm currently using dirt for gas right now, so what you get is a gas card, right?

Speaker 26 All right, and those cards are good at

Speaker 6 many killing stations

Speaker 19 in Rebellion Space.

Speaker 18 Totally fine.

Speaker 4 Fantastic. Well, welcome, Emissary.
Plaque Deck Center.

Speaker 27 Emissary Deck Center. Welcome, Emissary.

Speaker 18 Former Junior Missions Operations Manager Nermit Bundaloy.

Speaker 26 Well, we don't have the designation Junior Missions Operations Manager. Say hello to Missions Operations Manager.

Speaker 19 All right, Nermit, upgrade, huh?

Speaker 18 I hereby accept this promotion.

Speaker 26 Of course, that is still the lowest missions operations manager.

Speaker 25 We go missions operations manager, senior missions operations manager, and then veteran missions.

Speaker 26 Just so we're clear.

Speaker 18 No, it is. I mean, I accept and I am honored by the faith.

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 27 All right, and then security officer.

Speaker 26 Security officer translates to the position is pretty much the same across the board.

Speaker 27 And you, protocol droid.

Speaker 4 Yes.

Speaker 27 We will download rebellion protocols and functions to you now.

Speaker 4 Rebellion protocols in place.

Speaker 4 Is there any training involved in any of the rebellion functions?

Speaker 27 Juck

Speaker 18 Hey C53, can we update the file, uh, Emissary Plekdexer?

Speaker 19 Absolutely.

Speaker 4 Emissary Dexer, your file is updated.

Speaker 18 And can we delete any past record of having had a junior in my file?

Speaker 4 Historical junior

Speaker 4 ship barter.

Speaker 29 Ship of the stars, dreamer of the land. You scroll to sleep and you see my hollow going into your heart.

Speaker 29 Once used to be the greatest hollow stall, but now is on the way back up and is working on creating her own concerns.

Speaker 4 Alright, this isn't really bigger part of it.

Speaker 4 Right, let's just commission you as a ship of the rebellion.

Speaker 26 It's just a standard commission.

Speaker 4 It's just

Speaker 4 okay.

Speaker 29 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Terrific.

Speaker 27 Long live the rebellion. Tittle out.

Speaker 4 Ha ha ha ha.

Speaker 26 Rolf is tittle. Never a finer man I've met in all my life.
Listen, I'm about to go on an extremely secret mission for the Rebellion. Why don't you come along? Be my backup.

Speaker 18 Yeah, I mean, yeah, absolutely. What are you doing?

Speaker 26 I shouldn't be telling you this, but I'm meeting with an extremely important Flarn crime lord.

Speaker 4 Wow.

Speaker 6 Oh.

Speaker 26 He might help the Rebellion gain access to illicit arms, potentially smuggling routes that could help us skirt the Federated Alliance.

Speaker 18 Great. Well, you know, hey, just let us know what we can do.

Speaker 26 Why don't I hop in my fighter, take off into hyperspace, and you can follow me?

Speaker 12 Yep, and it should be all repaired. I looked at it myself, and it's good to go.

Speaker 26 Great. Together, we'll strike a blow for the rebellion against the hated Federated Alliance.

Speaker 18 Can we do the thing where we put our hands in the middle and then put them up?

Speaker 26 Do not do that in the rebellion.

Speaker 21 Okay.

Speaker 6 It's a shame. We'll do it later.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 2 Ah, at last.

Speaker 1 Just me, Counselor Akuri, alone with my beloved, Joe Cobono.

Speaker 31 Ah, time well spent.

Speaker 1 You know what is also time well spent. Time listening to the podcast, Raised by TV.

Speaker 2 Have you heard it?

Speaker 31 I don't hear. I am.

Speaker 2 Oh, well, let me explain it to you.

Speaker 1 Okay. Comedians John Gabris and Lauren Lapmas, you know, when they were growing up, they watched a lot of TV, which is like Hollow's.

Speaker 17 Hollow.

Speaker 1 Well, they watched a lot of TV, like so much. And on Raised by TV, they revisit the most ridiculous moments of 80s and 90s sitcoms.
Mr. Gabris, it should be noted, has a very familiar voice.

Speaker 1 If you've heard that loader droid B69420, I played you those recordings.

Speaker 1 Well, he and Lauren have just released a new season of the podcast, covering the beloved Nickelodeon late-night block snick and angsty teen shows like Freaks and Geeks.

Speaker 1 It's very fun and just hilarious. I think you would love it.

Speaker 19 Okay,

Speaker 19 fantastic.

Speaker 1 To be perfectly honest with your joke, I've never heard of any of the shows they talk about, but I've made the decision to subscribe to their podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher, wherever I get my podcasts from.

Speaker 1 That's where I subscribe to it.

Speaker 31 Take your hat off and put it inside a mug.

Speaker 17 Ah, yes.

Speaker 1 A lovemaking ritual begins.

Speaker 15 Am I coming in clear?

Speaker 26 Are you reading me?

Speaker 4 Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 15 Fantastic.

Speaker 26 I'll see you at our destination. I'll just lay down a hyperdrive path and you can follow my signal and

Speaker 4 my hyperdrive!

Speaker 4 It's gone rogue!

Speaker 6 I.

Speaker 4 Navigational computer, it's gone! Working! I don't know where it's sending me!

Speaker 4 Uh,

Speaker 4 whoa.

Speaker 18 That was a weird-looking path.

Speaker 4 Rarely do you see a spiral come out of a hyperdrive?

Speaker 4 It sort of splits into two paths, but then it rejoins, and then there's three paths. Wow.

Speaker 18 What did you do to his hyperdrive tar?

Speaker 12 I don't know. Shuffled some things.

Speaker 4 Shuffled some things?

Speaker 12 Hey, I've never seen a hyperdrive before in my life.

Speaker 4 I've fixed hyperdrives before.

Speaker 29 Oh, and good news, I did get gas.

Speaker 19 Oh, you got some gas out of Hark's ship?

Speaker 29 Yeah, but I thought we were gonna be celebrating, so I ejected most of it.

Speaker 18 Thought we were gonna be celebrating.

Speaker 25 Why?

Speaker 29 I felt good. I thought things were gonna be good.
I don't know. How was I supposed to know?

Speaker 12 Oh, boy.

Speaker 20 so you siphoned off some of his gas, I didn't fix his ship.

Speaker 25 Maybe broke it.

Speaker 19 Maybe broke it more.

Speaker 18 So we've got half dirt, half gas. Nobody knows we're rebel heroes.

Speaker 21 Oh shit!

Speaker 12 It's awake.

Speaker 18 You know, C-53, it's been a while since you've had a body, so you've kind of been able to avoid this responsibility.

Speaker 18 I I think it's your turn.

Speaker 12 It's absolutely your turn.

Speaker 4 Very well.

Speaker 6 I'll see to the beam.

Speaker 4 Hello?

Speaker 4 Bino, say hello.

Speaker 4 Hello, Bino. Bino, sleepy.

Speaker 4 Hello?

Speaker 4 Bino, so sleepy. Well, Bino, why don't I tuck you in and then you can just go back to sleep?

Speaker 32 Aw, Bino liked that.

Speaker 32 Good. Bino imprinted on Robot when Bino hatched.

Speaker 4 Yes, of course he did, Bino.

Speaker 32 Bino wanna hear the story of Bino.

Speaker 4 To be honest, Bino, we're all getting a little tired of the story, literally every night.

Speaker 21 So.

Speaker 32 If Bino doesn't hear the story,

Speaker 4 Bino goes. Hey, Bino, I'm going to tell you the story, okay?

Speaker 4 Yay!

Speaker 32 Misa Bino.

Speaker 4 Yes.

Speaker 4 Well, Bino, of course you remember when you were inside the bean, it was very quiet and very warm for a long time.

Speaker 4 We were trying to find you.

Speaker 32 Beano's still in the bean at that point.

Speaker 4 But we went to a planet and met a man named Chad.

Speaker 4 Chad had some riddles, and we solved them, so he gave you to us.

Speaker 32 Yeah,

Speaker 4 and then one day.

Speaker 32 Ooh, Bino wanna see when Bino hatched. Fine.
Beano wanna see.

Speaker 4 Alright, alright.

Speaker 4 Bino, here we go. Let me just

Speaker 4 Get that clipped.

Speaker 4 Well, that's not what I expected to be either. It's me.
It's Pino.

Speaker 4 What? Oh, my chucking rod. It's a larger bean.

Speaker 18 Slightly larger bean.

Speaker 29 Arms and legs just popped out of that bean. I don't like this thing, whatever this is.

Speaker 4 Pino say hello. Oh, God.

Speaker 4 Pino blinks its eyes like this.

Speaker 18 Somebody guarded this for 400 years.

Speaker 10 Beano ancient rare.

Speaker 4 That's it. That was all of us meeting you, Bino.

Speaker 32 Beano loved the story of Bino.

Speaker 4 Really, Bino? You love that story?

Speaker 32 Beano, do.

Speaker 32 Beano, sleep, sleep now.

Speaker 6 I'm okay, Bino.

Speaker 9 We'll see you tomorrow.

Speaker 9 Should have killed him,

Speaker 6 should have sent the stupid bee.

Speaker 33 This is C-Red IT5 Credits and Attributions Droid commencing outro protocol. Emissary Plec Deck Center was played by Alden Ford.
C-53, Stephai, and Hark Tardagas were played by Jeremy Bent.

Speaker 33 Security Officer Dar was played by Ali Kokesh. Bargie the Ship was played by Mujan Zolfogari.
Missions Operations Manager Nerman Bundaloy was played by Seth Lynn.

Speaker 33 Clothed Light Infantry Nomadic Troopers, Fondo Park Wad, Rolfus Tittle, and Bino were played by Winston Knoll. This episode edited by Seth Seth Lynn, with sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell.

Speaker 33 This episode was recorded at Robert Doggy Jr.'s Puppy Pound in Brooklyn, New York. Music by Brendan Ryan.
Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Crunchley. Ship design for the Bargerian Jade by Eric Goyce.

Speaker 33 Mission to Zix is brought to this galaxy by Audioboom. Thanks, Audioboom.

Speaker 6 A burst.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 11 That's perfect.

Speaker 17 That guy has a a lot of fun.

Speaker 12 Should that be the whole episode?

Speaker 18 Yeah, that's it. I just want to do one alien sound.

Speaker 11 Yeah, yeah, please, please, please, please.

Speaker 11 Is anybody else turned on?