202: The New Norm [ft. Dru Johnston]

It is a period of civil war.

The rebellion against the sinister and corrupt Federated Alliance grows stronger, and the fate of the galaxy hangs in the balance.

Now, rebel emissary Pleck Dexeta and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to explore astounding new worlds, discover their heroic destinies, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff.

This

is mission to

zero.

Hey, Nermit.

Yeah.

How's your tail?

It's obviously gone.

No, I mean, like, I was gonna say, how's your butt, but that's.

I should look.

Oh, wow.

Can you see it?

There's a tiny little spur.

Yeah, a little bud out.

Little bud.

Little nub popping.

Yeah, you could call it a nub nub.

Nub nub up front.

Num nub.

Num nub.

Num nub up front.

Nub nub in the back.

Nub numb in the back.

Yeah, don't actually do that.

Okay,

I think Bargie and I finally got Bino back to sleep.

Oh, good now.

I'm gonna be flying very gently so the Bino won't have any reason to wake up and

exist.

Thanks, Bargie.

Yep.

I'm also still running on dirt.

Just letting reminding everybody.

Oh boy.

Yeah, we need to find him.

Well, is there anything we can do with any of these extra parts?

I mean, I don't know.

C-53, can you like fashion those parts into some sort of like fuel maker?

What do I look like to you?

Well, I don't know.

I just thought maybe you know machines, so

do you hear that?

What did

you think?

Sort of a deep buzz.

Yeah, but

this is maybe personal, but did you leave out a

an item?

Like a no, that that vibration is way too weak to be one of my many many toys.

Okay, all right, sure, sure.

Uh, let's see, let's just uh dig through oh

guys, it's it's a communicator.

Wait, is this Hark Tardagast's pager from the pile of parts?

Yeah, that's when he deemed it useless and tossed it out of his ship.

No, I think I think this is like getting a communication right now.

Oh,

I don't know.

Does C53, do you know how to work one of these?

I haven't seen one of these.

Yes, yes, it has one

machines.

It has one button.

Who is Sisu?

Sisu Gundu, one of the leaders of the Rebellion.

Cool.

Um, and they play trivia.

Yeah, I guess so.

Park,

Okay, bye.

End of message.

I think you're seeing.

Where are you?

Okay?

Trivia night is at 30 minutes, and none of us know anything about sports, okay?

Also, I hope the Florn thing went well.

Better see you in 30 minutes.

End of message.

Wow.

Is everyone ignoring the fact that Clark Tardegast had a mission in in the Florence Edwards?

Yeah, I mean, he mentioned something like that, I think, before he took off, didn't he?

Oh, yeah, he was going to meet with a crime lord.

Well, guess who lost trivia tonight?

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Surreal?

Okay, I think we're good.

I think we're good.

I think we got most of the information we needed.

We're all drunk, and we're all celebrating me.

Louisa!

This is still something happening.

Do we really think it's about trivia?

Or did they hook up?

Yeah, I don't know.

This seems like it goes a little deeper.

Hager has a lot of data storage.

Was she just saying the coordinates?

Yeah, they're slurred a little bit, but I think I can translate them.

Yep, this checks out.

This is

we can do the rebel mission ourselves as rebels.

Us?

I mean, C-53, is this safe for us to go to a flunky?

No.

The Flung Zone is notoriously very dangerous.

Sure, but

crime lords have very little tolerance for interlopers.

Yeah, I've I.

My movies don't do well there.

It's all criminals.

Criminals don't like sweet, sweet, boshy films.

I'm just saying.

Didn't you do movies about being a criminal, though?

Yeah, they said it wasn't authentic enough.

They're very...

I don't know.

I tried planet of criminals.

C53, aren't Flarns like a gelatinous, I mean, what, like two-ton monster?

I mean, on average.

Guys, you just don't agree.

I'm a big deal in Flarn.

Really?

Really?

From your smuggling days.

Well, yeah,

the leader, uh, Tarrit Kostebi, he loves me.

You know, Tarrett Kostebi?

I do.

I always thought he was like a larger-than-life mob boss cliche of the business.

Oh, he is.

And let me tell you, we're very good friends.

I used to run campaign after campaign after campaign for this guy.

And I'll tell you, he was he was always happy with the work I did.

Wow.

I'm treated like a king when I visit Florin.

So we have our ticket in.

I mean, yeah, I guess.

Did we?

Did we?

I don't know.

There's no danger.

I've been on vacations with Tarrot.

I've seen him in a two-piece.

Wow.

That feels like at least one piece too many.

Yeah.

Interesting.

Well, guys, listen, if we're gonna go, I should probably

consult the space just to see if there's.

okay.

What?

Oh, no, no, go.

We love watching the ritual.

I'm just gonna take your woodsaber.

We were holding this window open with it.

Oh, the shade.

Okay.

Guys, listen, there's no reason to make a big deal about it.

I'm just gonna reach out with my feelings a little bit and just make sure that, like, there's nothing we should be, you know, worried about going.

Okay.

All right.

Oh.

Oh.

I'm a little hungry, but other than that, I think I'm feeling pretty good.

Okay.

Bino, hey, listen, can you wait till we get back from the mission, buddy?

Bino, no can wait.

Okay.

Oh, jeez, Bino.

How about this, Bino?

We're going into the Flarin zone, and we're gonna get Bino some food.

Beano want all the food.

Beano hungy.

Okay, listen, Bino, we'll pick you up something, okay?

Okay,

do it for Bino.

Should we head in?

Oh, we already

started heading towards Flarn when we were doing my ritual ritual.

Yeah.

You know, it's supposed to be, we're sort of supposed to be at like impulse zero for that.

Yeah, that's probably what messed it up.

Yeah.

Order!

Order!

The Council of Copristanian has something he wishes to bring to the table.

Now,

for some reason, it's been increasingly difficult to fill some positions in the venerable and just Federated Alliance.

For the life of me, I don't know why.

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Oh, right.

I should also tell you the info website.

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The smartest way to hire.

Uh Ross, what are you doing in here by yourself?

The sensors have turned off all the lights.

Jeremy, are you getting enough oxygen in there?

I mean, I can use it, like, if you can unzip this a little.

Thanks for carrying that.

I mean, you're really only supposed to unzip that for, like, to reach in, because otherwise you might escape.

That's a worry for a pet.

Yeah, that's true.

Oh, hey,

you must recognize me.

Give me a crude.

Oh, give me all the crude you got.

I know, looking at me, you remember me as like a really big shot.

I don't know who you are.

Everybody, give me a croon.

Wait, hold on.

Of course, you know who I am.

Open up the bag.

Give me what's in the bag.

No, that's all there's in there.

Our boss is sort of in there.

Hey, listen, sorry, I don't have any croon on me, so you're just gonna have to.

You got a croon card?

I'll take croon cards.

You'll take you're gonna charge us?

Yeah, I got my machine.

You packages.

You're a mugger who accepts chip cards?

Yeah.

I guess for us, the question is: why would we do this?

Yeah.

No one's

you

No one's really ask asked me that but but before it's okay here here take this take take this crew

Thank you.

I mean I mean uh

I hate you I hate you all

Wow, that was

far space is I guess not as tough as I remember it being no no no it's super tough.

That was a fluke that didn't know, didn't know who I was.

Yeah, I was sorry, she didn't really recognize you.

Well, perhaps we should find our way to the terraced

palace.

Yes, let's do it.

Is it this

enormous palace in the center of the city?

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, that's exactly where we're headed.

Ah,

hello.

Oh, announce yourselves.

Who are you?

Yeah, I'm Plek Dexetter.

This is C53 and Dar.

Oh, and you may not know me as Dar here.

You may know me by another name.

What?

Norm?

Norm?

Yeah, Norm.

No one here knows a Norm.

Um, if we could just see Tarrot, I feel like we would, you know, clear up all this confusion.

No one speaks to Tarik unless they speak through me.

I am the eyes and ears of the Flarn

so Tarik Kostebi is inside.

Tarik

Tarik Kostebi is inside, yes.

But Tarrot Kostebi.

What?

Tarrot Kostebi.

Who is Tarik Kostebi?

Tarik Kostebi is Tarrit's little brother.

So what happened to Tarrit Kostebi?

He was eaten.

Oh man.

What can he eat a Flarn?

What can he eat

Oh, yeah, a bigger fly.

Oh, wow.

So

his little brother is bigger.

Oh, that's how it is.

Listen, uh, if we could just talk to uh to Tarik, uh, we can explain everything.

We're just here to get away from the.

I don't know if you know this, but I'm I'm kind of his right-hand man, so you can tell me everything you need to tell him and I'll let him know.

Oh, great.

Um, and I'm sure you would have known about me because if you're so high up, you have known Tarot and all the.

Oh, wait a second.

I remember a norm.

Great.

Did you go to Eastside, Class of

I'm known for being a crime assistant?

Norm, you were at Eastside in Class of 4052.

You were the one who couldn't finish a hot dog.

You tried to eat a hot dog.

That's what you remember about me.

ship?

Oh, sure, sure.

Oh, yeah, that ship that broke immediately.

Oh, you guys are with Norm?

Norm sucks.

We actually don't know a Norm.

Yes.

What's your name now?

I answer to Dar now.

Hmm.

It's not a good name.

Listen, sorry, what's your name?

I'm Garrett.

Garrett.

Cool.

Oh, Garrett Hornberger.

That's right.

Garrett, can we please just talk to Tarek?

You want to speak to Tarek?

Yeah, that's sort of the whole point.

I should let you know he does not speak your native tongue.

That's he doesn't speak regular?

He doesn't speak reg.

He only speaks weird.

Okay.

That's.

Can we just come in?

Is that

me?

I think I can.

Okay, sure.

Yeah.

Garrett?

Yeah.

Oh, what is this?

I manage this team.

My name is former Junior Missions Operations Manager Nermit Bundaloy.

Did they name you Junior because of your size?

No, and it's not my title anymore.

No.

You know, Nermit's size left it out.

I'm still a manager.

You might know Hark Targna Gas, who indicated that there aren't even Junior Missions Operations Managers in the Rebellion, just missions operations managers.

The whole point is, we are a serious team.

We just got off the Bargerian Jade, and there's an annoying bean on there, and we're here to meet Tarek, okay?

And we might have something to do with the Rebellion.

Hark, Nermit, Nermit.

What, guys, this is going really well.

You know, Nermit, I should probably just run you back to Bargie.

Just real quick.

You and Bino can hang out while we just do the mission.

Come on.

I feel like it kind of blew up our spot.

I'll stay in the bag.

Listen, Junior.

No.

If you want to speak to Tarek,

come on in.

But I don't think you'll like what you hear.

I'll take our chances.

I feel like if anyone's gonna

know who I am, it's Tarek.

Great.

you ever meet Tarek?

I don't honestly remember, but I'm sure probably remembers me.

He was way cooler than Norm.

Uh, listen, Garrett, um, I know that Tarek doesn't speak regular, but can he understand regular?

No.

Well, who would you think that he would be able to understand regular?

No, I don't know, just because, like, we all speak regular.

Like, obviously, there are aliens who don't, but like, whatever language he speaks is so complex that my auto-translator can't get a beat on it.

We sort of have to go through you both to understand him and for him to understand us.

I am the tongue.

I am the tongue of Tarek.

I thought you said you were the eyes and ears.

Yeah, I'm all of the senses.

I'm the tongue, I'm the eyes, I'm the ears.

Why would you need a translator for to see stuff?

Are you his nose as well?

I could be.

Can you ask Terek if he remembers Norm?

Okay, yeah.

Yes,

I can do that, Norm.

Great.

Terek.

Little Norm.

Sataka.

Little Norm?

Norm?

Nah, he doesn't remember a Norm.

Ask him if he remembers the norm who couldn't finish a hot dog.

Ah, yes, he remembers you well.

Listen, uh, Tari, can I talk to you over here for you?

Yeah.

I don't feel like I'm earning us any kind of capital here.

Dart, I thought you said you ran a bunch of campaigns for this guy.

I did.

I was the campaign master.

I ran such sick campaigns.

I was so jucking clever.

I never repeated the same move twice.

Darn, we thought you were talking about military campaigns, not role-playing games.

No, I knew Territ when I was young.

I wasn't ready to be.

How young?

Like middle school.

Oh, no.

But you said you stole a ship for Tarrit.

It was actually a model ship, and we built it together.

Oh, no.

Dar.

Lindo Fatu.

Come back over here.

Okay, yeah, sure.

I don't know if you heard what Tarik just said.

I mean, we have heard it, but we didn't understand it.

Yeah, we don't speak

Ah, yes, the native tongue of the Flarn.

We speak weird.

What he just wanted you to know was that if you have anything you want to say to him, you can say it to me.

Is that yes, for sure?

What he said?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

He said,

I trust you, Garrett.

Huh, hmm.

Okay.

Seems like something you wouldn't say to someone you trusted.

No, no.

You've known him for years.

Why is he still saying that to you?

No, but he.

Okay, well, what do you want to say to him?

I'll let him know what's going on.

Okay.

Yeah, alright.

Let's see.

Mighty Terek.

Mighty Terek Terek.

No, just you can probably just wait until I'm done and just say the whole thing.

No, don't say that.

No, stop.

Don't say that part.

I'm just telling you, Garrett, you can wait until I'm done with my sentence before you say the whole thing.

It's going to be harder for you.

Garrett.

Maybe it is.

Maybe it is.

Okay, fine.

Mighty Terek.

Oh, stop.

Why is he gonna say stuff?

Because I feel like we're never gonna get anywhere if you guys.

What's up?

Fine.

Isaac.

Mighty Terek.

Is he speaking Jontawa now?

I thought he was speaking weird.

Does he speak Jontawa?

What?

Do not attempt to address it.

Don't speak it.

Mighty Tarek,

we are here

as ambassadors for the rebellion against the Federated Alliance.

We seek a rebel pilot known as Hark Tardagast,

who came to your planet to plead with you for information and or supplies in our fight against the Alliance.

If you can take us to him, we will be forever grateful to you.

We have a shared interest, you and I, Tarek.

He says you're taking a long time.

I'm ch were you translating what I was saying to him because I feel like

what?

Oh, hello, Junior.

Yes, yes.

We were just remembering how funny the hot dog moment was.

Give me a hot dog right now.

I'll finish a hot dog right now.

I'll finish 89 hot dogs right now.

Let's not go crazy.

Darrell,

I'm not sure.

I'm proving this to you.

I'm proving this to you.

Sure.

Proving this to you.

Give me the 89 hot dog.

Karek.

Asakoro norm makasato ai da Oscarmaya 87.

Wait, wait, wait, hold on a second.

Hold on.

I just want to

say,

is Florin language for 89 87?

Yes.

Weird?

Okay, so in regular, when you say 89 and you translate it into weird,

that is 87.

That's what I just asked.

I do not understand how this works.

I'll take those.

Dar, let's think about what we're doing before we do it.

Yeah, really, you just need to eat one, right?

No, I'm gonna eat 101 of these now.

That's a lot of hot dogs.

Yeah, wait, can I just ask Garrett,

When Dar failed to eat a whole hot dog, how many hot dogs had Dar eaten at that point?

At that point?

Yes.

132.

Well, okay.

Okay, I'm very confused.

I mean, if she'd already eaten.

Why are you here?

I tried to explain that, and you told me I was taking too long.

Quinoa, farmo.

Ah, so quinoa.

Bubble, beep-bop, hark, tardagast.

Ah!

Oh, yeah, no.

Was he, did he just say hark tardegast?

No.

We didn't say hardagasta.

It sounded like Harkash.

It sounded like that, but he was just reminding me about we watched a movie last night and I said a really funny one-liner.

What was the one-liner?

What?

What was the funny one-liner that you were just talking about?

Look, I don't know what you're here for, but Hark Tardagast is not here.

And there's no looking for him.

Okay.

In the absence of Hark, we'll act in his stead as emissaries to establish a connection between Tarek

and the Rebellion.

Listen, Garrett, what Hark was going to come here to tell you is that the Rebellion hates the alliance as much as you do.

So, if there's a way we could work together, maybe we could figure this out.

I'll let him know.

Tarek

Jakon Chon Chango Kinwa A Sogoto Federated Alliance

at a heart-tart against the Rebellia.

He said he's interested.

Really?

If you are fighting against the Federated Alliance as hard as we are,

great.

Yeah, cool.

So, um, you know, listen, this is sort of not really my jurisdiction, but I would say, like, if you got any extra guns or, like, maybe some, like, stealth ships you could spare, we could probably take those.

You definitely were not.

You were definitely referring to Dar eating hot dogs and not to what I just said to you.

No

the mighty Tarik has a proposal for you.

Okay, we'll get you what you want,

but the one we know is norm, you'll have to engage in a hot dog eating contest.

But that already started.

You brought out hot dogs for me to start eating.

No, the hot dog timer hasn't started yet.

But I started eating them as soon as they brought them out.

None of those count?

None of these are

50 hot dogs either.

No, they do not count.

And greetings from the very edge of the sooty festive land of Shinasha.

Gather around, will you?

And I'll tell you a story.

I'm no rip Ciso, but I'll do my best.

This is a tale called Shameless Begging.

Once upon a time, there was a mysterious series of recordings about an alliance ambassador turned rebel emissary and his heroic crew.

Now, the audience of these recordings were famously attractive and intelligent.

But some of them, they became woefully addicted to the recordings and and wanted to hear from this crew more than weekly.

Lucky for them, they could receive more communications on social media, Instagram, Telegram, Spacebook, and Twitter.

Where the crew's handle was at mission2Z.

They're thirsty geniuses, like, oh, well, like you even, perhaps, could see fan art, photographs from recordings, free-wing announcements, messages from individual crew members, and like really good stuff.

And the people who followed, they became incredibly happy.

And some of them, dare we say, the best ones, they even logged onto something called iTunes, which I think is where droids get their visual sensors fixed.

Anyway, on iTunes, these people left reviews of the audio recordings, which the legend has it helped with some sort of algorithm that led even more people to find, enjoy, and become addicted to the recordings, then in a quest for even more follow-up and admission to Zix.

Yeah.

Did you like the story?

I thought it was pretty good.

I mean, not perfect, but

gravity is

running all the way.

Attention

fly!

As you know,

I am Garrett, the eyes, ears, tongue, nose

for the the mighty Terra.

He says, That's right.

I am here with a wonderful entertainment:

a hot dog eating contember, Norm

is here to eat

a hundred and twenty hot dogs.

I mean, I already ate fifty hot dogs.

No,

no,

irrelevant.

If Norm can eat the hot dogs,

we will give them the resources they require.

If not,

we will

shame them

could be worse.

And now I will say all of that in weird.

No, it's not

necessary.

And

eighty-two Asukadaya.

It's just, it has no mathematical basis to change between

Oh, I should start?

Okay, um Dar, are you confident you can eat this many hypos?

Yeah, I'm very confident I'm gonna rush my hydrogen.

Listen, Dar, I mean, you're like 50%

empty space, right?

Like, I just don't want you to hurt you.

Empty space is not really made for food, though.

I'm glad they let us all sit at this picnic table with you.

It's nice.

Well, I really probably shouldn't have been talking to you while I'm trying to.

Yeah, you get to get to eat them.

I mean, you can all keep talking amongst ourselves.

Yeah, we weren't sure if that distracts you or.

No, it's actually calming me down a little bit.

Well, you know, it's interesting that a hot dog competition is just a one-person

they didn't want to challenge her or anything like that.

Yeah, usually a competition implies, you know, people striving against one another.

But this is man versus nature.

Nature, hot dog is nature in that case?

Yeah, it's a fungus.

Oh, right.

Attention!

I forgot to introduce the channel!

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Does that mean none of the hot dogs I just ate count?

No.

Wow, this seems egregious.

None of those

17 hot dogs you ate counted.

Let me translate.

42 Askabaya.

17?

Is it just a coincidence of sounds?

It's not.

And now, introducing the challenger.

I should explain the rules.

You have to eat hot dogs faster than this challenger.

Those are the rules.

Output transcript.

One rule.

It's just one rule.

The challenger's a vacuum.

Don't spoil it.

We're about to wheel it out.

Hot dog shaped input.

Hello.

Nice to meet you.

My name is Gorm.

Gorm?

I'm

doing this every Sunday.

I'm ready.

Gorm, you're a vacuum species?

I'm ready.

Okay.

Ah,

the hot dog eating contest between Norm and Gorm.

That's

a wonderful contest.

Little Norm

and Big Gorn.

And your mother.

Arguably, I'm much bigger than you.

Gonna turn on.

Eat.

Norm, norm, norm, norm.

Norm, norm, norm, norm, norm, norm, norm.

Why do you say norm?

Norm.

Why don't you say norm?

Why don't you say gorm?

I don't know what, maybe distracted at some point.

No.

How far behind am I right now?

I don't think about that.

I don't think about that.

How many hot dogs has the vacuum sucked up?

Hard to count.

You know, just eyeballing it like half.

I need you to actually move a little tighter around me right now.

Okay.

Okay.

All right.

Yep.

Mm-hmm.

Can anyone see me?

I think so.

Okay.

Oh, wow.

Oh.

This is strategy.

Very good strategy.

I don't know if that case is eating the hot dogs.

I don't think it does either, but we need to get them out of the way.

Yeah, that's a fair point.

No.

Dar, you only have one more.

I can't.

I can't.

You have to.

I can't.

Dar, this is exactly what happened last time.

You have one extra hot dog, and you can't get it in.

No, him filled with hot dogs.

Norm is almost done with the odd dog.

I am more hot dog than Dar right now.

Guys,

step aside.

No, Nerman, you can't.

Yes, I can do it.

I can do it.

If you help me lift it, it's like 65%.

Help me lift it.

I can eat it.

You could easily eat this hot dog.

I have to do it.

I just know.

I got to.

Oh, my God.

Oh, that's much lighter than it.

His species jaw is supposed to go.

It might it might never go back to its original size

Just gonna tap it in

Just a little bit of hot dog coming out of his tail now

I finished now please help the rebound

I'm just gonna go vacuum the rest of this place.

Carmen, what happened?

I don't know.

I thought we had it in the bath.

I can't let this loser

outshine me.

I'm cooler than this

little.

Yeah, Garrett,

you're still talking into the microphone.

Oh, shoot.

Oh, no, wait.

How do I turn it off?

Just step away from the microphone.

Just put it away from your face.

No, no.

I.

Tarek?

Oh no!

Alright, I've been running a translation protocol for the last 20 minutes or so, and I've managed to synthesize my own Florid translation app.

What, really?

Yeah, let me just turn it on now and see.

Uh, Tarik?

Yes.

Oh, okay.

Oh, it's running now.

Well, the music is still on.

I know.

I know that.

Yeah, Dar, if you want to talk to Tarek, this translation app seems to be working reasonably well.

Hey, Tarek.

Oh, hey, Norm.

Yeah.

Yeah, I remember you.

You hung out with my geeky brother.

I don't remember him being geeky.

I just remember

pretty geeky.

I just remember him having a really really beautiful imagination.

Yeah, I guess so.

I'm glad you're here.

I'm not really sure why we're doing this hot dog thing.

It was not.

You demanded a hot dog contest.

You didn't demand a hot dog eating contest and establish relations with the rebellion?

I didn't.

He made me.

Garrett, wait, what?

Garrett said that you demanded to enter a hot dog eating contest.

Now, look, there seems to have been a minute confusion.

Oh, this is a hot mic.

There seems to have been a bit of confusion.

This is what I remember happening: is that Almighty Tarek, you said

that you

would like to see a hot dog eating contest.

That's not what I said, Garrett.

But come on, right?

Come on.

At this point, Garrett, just turn the mic off.

You don't need to.

No!

Leave it on, Garrett, because I want everyone to hear your screams

when I hear you!

That was sucking disgusting.

Those are the digestive juices, Garrett.

This is like a zoo-beat

slowly cooking meat.

What is that?

What word is that?

I don't understand that word.

I don't want to hear you translate to me anymore.

At this point, whoever's running tech in this arena is it's on them

listen I apologize

the Florins we are anti-federated alliance

but I'm not sure that we're probe rebellion what can I do to make it up to you what do you need you know actually honestly uh Tarek we could really use a little bit of gas for our ship Nermit has a pretty good idea of maybe some of the things we need if uh nermit you want to just tell the florin what we need

I heard gas, so I'm giving you gas.

Yeah, okay, yeah, I guess it.

I guess gas is

listen.

Who knows?

Maybe the Florence would join the.

I mean, somebody helped it.

Um, here, let me just.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, man, it's really coming out the other end.

Not at all digestive.

We're doing gas, so that's it.

All right.

Who knows?

Maybe one day the Florence will aid the rebellion, but today is not not that day.

Okay, yep, fair enough.

All right, guys.

Well, listen, thanks.

Tarek,

appreciate that.

Sorry to hear about your translator.

I'm fine.

Hey,

hey, Bargie,

I think we're good to go.

You could probably just land in this big open arena.

Oh, the Bargerians.

Oh, wow.

Everybody thought that the Bargerian Jade was kind of fake, but look at that.

That's right.

You all thought I couldn't be a criminal, but look at me now, huh?

I got scars on my hole.

I'm bleeding out of oil, huh?

Whoa, I got one teardrop tattooed underneath my windows.

Yeah, did I kill someone?

Did I kill someone?

Did you kill someone, Bargy?

No, it's not playing apart.

I don't know what to do.

Just ready to just take you all on.

Love him.

Fight me, everybody, fight me.

Everyone, take out

very well.

Well, we are fueled up for the foreseeable future.

Yeah, I guess so.

Hey, listen, I gotta say, Dar and Nermit, you guys really took one for the team on this one.

I mean, Dar, you took a couple.

You took more than a gross for the team.

Nermit took literally one for the team.

Right, but I have torn up from end to end.

Oh, man.

Nermit, I gotta say, you know, this is what it's like, man, being on the ship through the ringer.

It's not your safe cubicle on the delegator anymore, right?

Not at all.

Although I was, you know, injured there a lot, too.

Oh, that's true.

Yeah,

because you're very poorly treated.

Yeah.

I will say say I was glad to visit that planet as a rebel, not as an alliance member, because woof, that would have been.

Oh, that would have been rough.

Yeah.

We would have all been eaten.

Yeah.

They would have

attacked Bargie more.

Maybe about the same.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's pretty banged up.

Are you okay, Bargie?

Yeah, no one's really asked me.

Thank you for so much.

We're the first person.

No, I'm not okay.

What?

Oh, no.

A lot of things are wrong with me right now.

What's broken?

Oh, my son hasn't talked to me in a while.

Oh, okay.

This is emotional sound related.

Sure.

Yeah, but we got gas, so that's the thing.

It was nice that they let us gas up even after attacking us for like 20 minutes.

Yeah.

But hey, Dar, listen.

I know that.

I know that Florin was not really how you represented it, but you really saved us back there, so thanks.

Yeah, it's kind of.

I think I'm okay with realizing that I was actually

a huge nerd.

I mean, yeah, join the club.

Many young species go through an awkward phase where they're fascinated by

imaginative pursuits of all kinds.

Sometimes they make it a career and

you know

that would be an extremely poor planning.

There's so little use for that kind of thing.

Hmm.

Oh no.

Dar, it's your turn.

Alright, I'm emptying my shoots.

Whoa.

Oh, beano eat hot dogs.

Num, nom, nom.

Aww.

What

beano only eat organic.

Of course.

Why do we have peanuts?

Gotta love peanuts.

This is C-Red IG-5 Credits and Attributions Droid commencing Outro Protocol.

Emissary Plex Deck Center was played by Alden Ford.

C-53 was played by Jeremy Bent.

The security officer, formerly known as Norm, was played by Ali Kokesh.

Missions Operations Manager Nervit Bundeloy was played by Seth Lynn.

Barging the Ship and Gorn the Hot Dog Vacuum were played by Mujan Selfigari.

Tarek Kostebi and Vino were played by Winston Knoll.

Garrett Hortberger was played by special guest Drew Johnston.

Drew is a writer for the Chris Gethin Show and performs at the UCB Theater in New York with Grandma's Ashes and NASCAT.

Follow him on Twitter at DrewJohnston.

Drew is spelled with a U, as it should be.

Crowd voices were recorded in our season two premiere at Caveat, generously donated by our live audience.

Thank you, audience.

And a special thanks to Lauren Humphrey for a recording location for this episode.

This episode edited by Seth Lind with sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell.

Music by Brendan Ryan.

Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Crunchley.

Ship design for the Bargerian Jade by Eric Goyce.

Mission to Zix is brought to this galaxy by Audioboom.

Thanks Audioboom.

A very special thank you to our Patreon supporters for making Season 2 possible.

Hey, do you want to send a physical item to the the Zix Squadron?

That would be red.

Address your parcel to the Zix Squadron, P.O.

Box 180-494, Brooklyn, New York, 11218.

And our team of trained Zerblins will take it from there.

But I started eating them as soon as they brought them out.

None of those count?

Like

40.

50 hot dogs in.

No, Toyota Corolla.

No, they do not count.

They do not count and they run smoothly like a Toyota Corolla.

But I do like the idea of a hot dog challenge to

determine

if Dar can eat enough hot dogs.

I think that's pretty fun.

I love the reveal that

Dar was working for the nerdiest

nerd crime helic.