118: The Delegator [Season One Finale]

This is Sea Red IT5 with an announcement.

The following episode is the season one finale of Mission to Zix.

Thank you for listening.

The period of civil war has ended.

The rebels have defeated the evil galactic monarchy and established the harmonious Federated Alliance.

Now, Ambassador Pleck Dexetter and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to explore astounding new worlds, discover their heroic destinies, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff.

This

is Mission.

Alright, do I look good?

Do I look good?

Does this look good?

Karji, you look great.

Thank you very much.

I mean, your floors are shiny.

Thank you.

All your buttons are lighting up.

Gotta look good trying to get back into the game.

I think this is gonna be good.

Okay, ready?

Alright.

Press the record inside of me.

Okay, and we are rolling.

Hello, I am am Budgerian Jade.

I uh am reading for the roll of rock number five.

Great.

Uh, you you started off.

Oh, sorry.

I've never been this deep in the mine.

Bang, bang, bang.

Bang, bang, bang.

Oh, there's some rock banging around.

Bang.

It's one of these five rocks for sure.

Hmm, I better break all of them with my vibro axe.

Bang, bang.

And scene.

Thank you very much.

Again, my name is Bungie Arianche.

If you're interested in hiring me, I'm a very big, big fan of

all of this.

So I'm represented and currently no agent.

Thank you.

Budgie, I think that went really well.

I didn't say desperate, right?

Do you think they're casting for minor number two?

Like, do I look like a guy who could be in a mine?

Absolutely not.

Now, I'm going to interrupt you before your fantasies get too out of control.

Okay.

I'm pleased to present to you the new C-53.

Do I look well, Ambassador Deck Setter?

Oh,

wow.

C-53, you look great.

You fixed your leg.

Well, I attached a scroll thraster to a stick.

I think it looks great.

Now you can get around a little better.

Well, I still have a bit of a hobble.

Sure.

I'll admit, I'm a bit self-conscious.

No, see, you absolutely don't have to feel that way.

Yeah, you look great.

Oh, I feel

quite shabby.

No, no.

C53, you look like you're ready to get out there and do some diplomatic relations, you know?

You know what, C, just, why don't you take a lap?

Why don't you just take a lap and test out that new

leg?

All right.

Pleck, can I speak to you for a second?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What's up?

I feel incredibly responsible for how pathetic C looks right now.

No, I mean, it's very pathetic.

But in like a cute way?

No.

No.

He doesn't belong in that tiny TM model.

Dart, you can't blame yourself for what happened back on Klong to

be a little bit more dangerous.

You liberated him in a way from the shackles of like a perfectly functioning

very smooth feel better.

He's back.

It took me a little longer than I thought to get around the ship.

What?

No, you were lightning speed.

You were so fast, buddy.

You could take on, I think you could take on the whole Zix quadrant in that frame.

You're so kind and bastard, etc.

It feels like you kind of came up from like the mean streets.

Okay, pull it back a little bit.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, it sounds weird.

Sure, right, yeah.

It's a good thing you have a universal cube, though.

That's true.

One of the great advantages of the C-series is that the cube is highly adaptable.

Wait, what?

What happens if you put your cube

in me?

you'd let me do that.

Do you have a cube port, Bargie?

I do.

Wait, wait, wait, hold on a second.

Bargie, do you have a cube?

No, I'm the ship.

Okay, no, no, no, no, no.

I thought so.

Bargie's artificial intelligence is suffusing the very ship the ship would run without.

Sure, yeah,

with every ship that's a cube port for friendship.

Yeah.

Friendship?

You can freak.

I don't know when you're the world of having a voice inside of your head.

Oh, wow.

Well, I mean, C53, you want to try out Bargie's cube port?

I mean, if her bunch is alright, yeah, when I look at one.

Alright, I guess let me take out your cube then.

Oh, thank you very much.

Okay, that's our best.

Yes.

I don't trust the

Vargi, when is your next cleaning session?

It could be now or

less.

Try to hold off on it for the next, like, I don't know, 15 seconds while we transfer this cube.

Dar, do you want to take it out?

I don't want to touch the cube anymore.

I can take it out.

Alright.

I'm going to take it out in a rather unconventional way.

Please don't judge me.

Whoa!

That is prehensile.

And into the cube slot.

That was a very gentle tower.

Thank you.

Oh, C-53.

Cool.

Welcome to my world.

This is a rather novel experience being part of the ship.

This is rad.

Can I...

Do you have like a Tellurian port?

No.

Okay.

No, I figured that.

I just like the idea of like

you really want to stick your Rangus Dengus in something that badly.

Okay, first of all, the Rangus Dengus.

And secondly.

I love this.

Oh, man.

This is fun for me.

I've got to be honest with you.

Okay, so C53, now that you and Bargie are sort of like in the same place, can you describe what it's like to be a ship?

Well, I have greater sensor capabilities than I do on most droid frames.

I go.

Wow, you can see a very long way, can't you, Bargie?

He also has access to all of my memory.

Whoa.

Many of these are powerfully erotic.

Oh, you are so lucky.

I am enjoying this immensely.

So, what do you think I should do about that memory, huh?

Right?

What do you think?

Bargie, were I you?

I would send him a message and clear the air.

We don't even have to use words, let's just grunt it out.

Sure.

Hey, Dar, you want to try that?

Should we just, like, stare into each other's eyes and see if we can communicate, like, have a deep conversation?

Yeah.

Come here, Pleck.

Come real, real close.

Okay.

Closer.

Very close.

Closer.

Very close.

Ow!

Ow!

That was, I guess I was sort of asking for that.

Now, what did I communicate to you with my eyes in that moment, Pleck?

Well, you didn't communicate with your eyes that you were about to stomp on my foot, but then you did.

Ambassador Texeter, I have an incoming transmission from Junior Missions Operations Manager Nermit Bundelo.

Oh,

hey, Nermit, what's up?

Hi, Nerm.

Whoa!

What?

What?

You are assuming a highly victorious pose.

Nermit, what is happening?

What's going on?

I am being promoted directly to Senior Missions Operations Manager.

Can you believe it?

I can't.

How is that possible?

I mean, that's amazing.

No, I cannot believe it.

See?

Senior Missions Operations manager, Herman.

But you should know that that's a highly unusual practice.

They said, literally, in the form, they said, this is a highly unusual practice, Colin.

Great.

Seems like it checks out this.

Look, I'm going to hold up the document.

See, this is legit.

Yeah, hey.

So, congratulations, man.

I knew it was always going to happen for you.

Oh, thanks for having faith.

I don't think it's going to go to my head either.

Like, I'm going to be the guy who's like...

Totally cool with all the junior missions operations managers.

We're going to like hang out.

Totally.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

I'm going to sign this.

I'm supposed to to report to the

sub-basement 21.

I guess that's where the promotions happen.

So yeah, sub-basement 21 at

0425.

That's sort of the middle of the night there.

Yeah.

A little irregular.

That's when your promotion is?

That's when the promotion's happening.

It's crazy.

This is a new world.

I mean, this is senior missions operations management.

This is new, man.

These guys are up at the crack of dawn managing.

Yeah.

Well, congratulations.

Wait, does this mean that you're still gonna be our operations manager?

Oh, yeah, you got-I mean, you guys are coming with all the way to the top.

Yeah.

Wow, right.

Uh, let's see.

Yes, it says that.

Oh, man, I know.

How did that happen?

This is amazing.

They must have figured out, like, how valuable we are.

I always knew it, right?

Yeah, yeah.

You're not used to the noose.

Bargie, get used to it.

I mean, Bargie, man, think about this.

If you submit that audition for rock number five as a senior ambassadorship, I could be rock number one.

Yeah, yeah.

I will put in a good word.

After 0425, I'm going to have some clout.

Oh, man.

Guys, I don't know how this happened, but we are just moving right up.

Okay.

Focus, focus.

Senior Missions Operations Manager, Nerva Bundaloy.

Sounds good, doesn't it?

As an us, mom, you get to choose our mission from a number of options.

There should be a list of them in front of you now.

Yeah, I think you're right, but there's only one.

I mean, I mean, honestly, like, the promotion hasn't technically happened.

This is probably the last one where they just send us, and then we're gonna have endless options.

So, wow, it's a vacation atoll.

What does that mean?

It's like a place people just go for fun.

Vacation atoll?

One?

That sounds good.

First one?

The first one?

And you're meeting with the fun basseter?

Look at this this photo of her.

Oh, yeah, you know what?

I usually say bad things about a lot of people, but uh, she's great.

She's fun.

Her name is Fontasia Fun Fun.

Funtasia Fun Fun.

Funtasia Fun Fun is.

Funtasia Fun Fun is the Funbassader of Vacation Atal 1, and your job is to just go

hang out, question mark, exclamation point, and then look at this.

There's just like a picture of fireworks.

Oh, man.

This is crazy.

I am liking this senior ambassador work.

Send over the coordinates and we will see you on the other side, buddy.

Here they come.

Woo!

Well, hey, don't sleep through your alarm.

No, no, no.

Oh, good point.

Let me set that.

Talk soon, Nermi.

Talk soon.

Have a good one.

All right.

Man, this feels good.

We are in so much jucking trouble.

Ambassador Jackson, I want to inform you that we have until 0425 to save Junior Missions Operations Manager Nerman Bundler before he is severely executed.

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

Does it seem suspicious to you at all that Nermit Bundeloy, a junior missions operations manager with no small measure of failure, has suddenly rocketed to the position of senior missions operations manager?

Well, I will say this, he's a very nice guy.

He is terrible at his job, and we are equally bad at ours.

Yeah, you're not.

And yet, we are being assigned to vacation ATOL 1 with Funtasia Fun Fun to just hang

Well, when you say it like that, it sounds a little suspicious.

Yeah.

Yes, that's the version that sounds suspicious.

Ambassador Dexter, since leaving my original droid frame and hence no longer being affected by my restraining poll, I have been making preparations to leave the Federated Alliance.

What?

I thought you hated the rebellion.

Ambassador Dexter, are you not aware to the depths at which a restraining bullet can affect the psychology of a droid?

I guess

C-53, this is crazy.

Well played.

Dari, you seem very chill about all of this.

Is this what you wanted all along?

Of course it was.

Oh.

I never wanted to work for the Federated Alliance.

They forced me to.

Ambassador Dexter, you should know that the Federated Alliance is considered quite lame by most in the galaxy.

Consider what our missions have been.

We have been sent to secure resources for the Federated Alliance, we have been sent to oppress species, even save the derelict son of one of the council members.

Yeah, might be Nemesis.

Also, I got a tech investation.

Well, that wasn't-I don't know if that was the Alliance's.

And now, C-53 knows how it feels.

Ugh, this is deeply unpleasant.

Well, hey guys, listen.

I gotta level with you.

This is our moment, guys.

C-53, Bargie, Dar,

you know, you can use your talents for making a difference in this world.

We could do this together, huh?

We could go save Nermit's life and

go be heroes.

Let's do this.

Who's with me?

Pleck, we're already 30 seconds away from the delegator.

Ambassador Dexter, I jumped to hyperspace the moment I told you of the situation.

Great.

Yeah, no, that's great.

I just wanted to make sure you guys knew that I was on board.

Because I am.

We're glad you're on board.

But it wouldn't have mattered.

Okay.

We would have had to eject you into space.

Eject me me into space.

No, no!

That's what we're doing.

I was sliding out.

We're still in.

If you, what happens if you inject someone like

in hyperspace?

Have you never seen the videos?

No.

No, I'm not.

I'm not.

I'm definitely the time because those videos are very fun to watch.

This is Commander Voltor of the Delegator.

Uh uh hailing rogue ship.

Yep, uh hi.

What is your Federated Alliance identification?

Give him your fake sake.

Give him your fake sake.

You will notice that the delegator is the pride of the Federated Alliance.

One of the most incredible ships we have at our disposal.

Oh, yeah.

And from it, we run all of our missions operations,

as well as many of our clinics reside here.

Should

Hmm.

Yep.

Is that part of every entry spot?

I say that to everyone who comes in.

Why wouldn't I?

It's an incredible ship.

And it's true.

You don't want to keep that information.

No, it's just this is an amazing ship.

And honestly, if anything should happen to it, the Federated Alliance would suffer a crippling blow.

Nothing I've said is a lie.

No, that's true.

It's good that you're telling the truth.

Yeah, this is a great start to the tour.

It's just rather too much information to just be handing out.

This is our urchin droid.

Yes, why do you have an urchin droid?

We're actually.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

This is

obvious.

Yes.

Yep.

Well,

it's a good thing that your Federated Alliance identification code worked out.

Otherwise, should anything happen to the ship, it would be a great blow.

Indeed, yep, yep.

Just between you and me, this ship was designed by Swag Tambui.

Oh,

well, he's the need I say more.

Yeah, I mean, great, great.

Welcome, and I hope you don't find our critical vulnerability.

Certainly not.

I wouldn't even look for it.

Not at all.

If you did, it would be a crippling blow to the Federated Alliance.

I think we processed that information.

Welcome aboard the delegator.

Hope you survive the experience.

Wait, what does that mean?

Okay, um, this ship is huge.

I mean, I think I think of Bargie as being a big ship.

I mean, probably a hundred Bargies.

Yeah, I mean, but there's only one Bargie.

There's only one

number one.

I don't know, right now I'm kind of comparing everything to myself.

No way, Barge.

What are those ships all crowded around over there?

That's Tiny Toots.

No kidding.

Tiny Toots?

Yep, there she is.

It's Tiny Toots.

Yep, she's big and beautiful and clean.

But she's had work done, huh?

So much war.

That's how original.

You guys are the best.

You guys are great.

I don't.

You know what, Bargie?

I don't like tiny toots either.

She seems like kind of a jerk.

Yeah.

That seems like fake laughter.

That's kind of like the laughter a ship would do if she was trying to tell other people how happy she was.

Barge's all about that persona, you know?

Having such a good time.

Yeah, exactly.

I'm having such a good time.

Oh, wow, wow.

Yeah, you really called that.

You really called that.

I bet the people inside of her just hate her.

I'm fine.

I'm a fighting ship.

I might not be as big as she is, or still of a career.

Bart is right, though.

The people who are on Tiny Toots

are also here.

That means,

I've got a great idea.

We put handcuffs on Dar and we pretend we're bringing her to the prison bay.

Then we walk around, you know, sort of aimlessly until we find Nermit on this enormous ship, and then

dot dot, dot, dot, we win.

I'm glad you're on our side, but you've got to know that's the worst plan I think I've ever had in my life.

Well, it seems like it would work if we just did it with confidence.

Why would we do it?

I know where Nermit is.

Yeah, and we were just planning on entering the delegator like everyone does on a tour of the delegator.

Okay, yeah, no, that may that's so no handcuffs then.

No, thank you.

Handcuff our best fighter.

No, I mean I You're right.

It seemed like a better idea in my head.

Alright, well, Bargie, let's open the door.

Let's go give it a shot.

Okay,

yeah, yeah.

We're here for the tour of the delegator.

Oh, great, cool.

Well, the delegator was...

Get up off the ground.

Oh, yes, yes.

Everyone get off the ground.

Wait, hold on a second.

I'm sorry.

What

if we weren't here for the tour?

What would that look like?

Oh, I'd blast you.

No, but I mean, certainly people are here for work.

Sometimes I'll say this.

They're rebellion spies everywhere.

Huh.

Oh, no, not rebellion spies.

I thought the rebellion was just a story we told to children to scare them.

We caught a few spies occasionally.

Really?

Well, I'm not going to brag, but I'm kind of

the alpha on the delegator.

Of all the clints on the delegator, you're the alpha.

Don't tell anybody.

What an honor.

What an honor.

No, but I'm sort of the guy who catches spies, you know.

Let me ask you, how do you determine a spy from a regular member of the Fenrir regular?

That's a great question.

Two things.

One, I ask a question, are you a spy?

Sure.

And if they answer in the affirmative, then they are a spy.

And if they're all blacks,

and if they don't, then I'll kind of say, well, I've got my eye on you.

And then I look to see if they do any spy-type stuff.

And most of the time they don't.

And sometimes I lose them.

What's the spy-type stuff?

You know, like taking pictures and asking questions about the delegator.

No, that sounds sort of more like tourist stuff.

Well, then I've killed many tourists.

All right, if you'll walk with me this way, I'll show you the commissary.

Oh,

my gosh.

You know, what's your call sign?

5534.

5534.

Oh, great.

I think the 5,000s were a solid crop of clinics.

I'm so glad you said that.

And honestly, a lot of alphas in there.

Oh, well, I mean, there's a lot of sort of sub-alphas, but like, I think the best gotta be.

I'm totally with you.

And our faces are less punchable.

Yeah.

Yeah, totally.

Totally.

Wow, I like you guys.

You kind of get us.

That's pretty cool.

5534.

Yes.

We know you have to take us on, you know, this beta route of the tour.

I know as an alpha, what you really want is to give us

like the cool tour.

You'd love to take you guys on the output tour.

Oh, we would be honored.

You know what?

We want to go on the alpha tour.

We want to see the, you know, the guts of the delegator.

Do you guys want to go to the sub-basements?

Now we are talking.

Yes.

What sub-basement do you want to go to?

Oh, let's just pick a random number.

Cool.

21?

As random as any other number.

Oh, wow.

That's the execution and incineration sub-basement.

Great choice.

Okay, great, cool.

Oh, wow.

That's, I mean, what are the other ones for?

Some of them is plumbing, some of it's like electricity.

One of them is just miscellaneous.

All right, let's keep going to base sub-basement 21.

Yes, sure.

All right.

You guys are alpha tourists.

I love it.

Yep.

I'll tell you this much.

That place is crawling with plants and enforcer droids, a lot of big things.

It's pretty heavily guarded.

Really?

Wow.

I've sent many tourists there

that I thought were spies.

All right.

Sorry, did you sign enforcer droids?

Yeah, big ol' enforcer droids.

They have turret lasers for hands and they have sharp spikes that come out of their hands.

And you didn't hear it from me, but they're cube compatible.

So that's pretty great.

Oh, really?

Universal cube, pretty great.

Wow, I'm really telling you guys a lot, aren't I?

I mean, hey, because you're the best,

you're the alpha guy.

Yeah, I'm just a good tour guy.

Yeah,

hello, welcome to the flow.

I am an Enforcer Droid.

Oh, whoa, show me your fate.

Right here, right here.

Wow, these things are enormous.

This is a good fate.

Hello.

Yep.

Hello, Clint.

How are you today?

Yeah, we're good.

Adforcer Droid, these guys are with me.

They're part of the tour.

They decided to come see the sub-basement.

The food at the commissary is not very good.

That was a joke.

Hala, hala, hello.

Wow, I like these AdforcerDroids.

They are chill.

Do you like pancakes?

I love pancakes.

Show me your fake.

Yeah.

Uh, 5-5-3-4.

If you don't mind, I think I might just hang out with these droids for you.

Just get to know each other.

I'm like a droid to troubled night.

I think that's totally fine.

Well, you two come with me.

Sure, sure.

Oh, look, there's another Garrison Eclipse.

Oh, wow.

Hey, hey, guys.

Hey,

I'm good.

Well, I'm great.

Well, I'm great too.

Actually, I'm really great for you.

Fantastic.

Well, I'm actually boarding on Panama.

I was doing really well with that.

That's not a competition.

Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure.

That's one of my best weeks out there.

Well, they're distracted because

it is dark back here.

We have to find Nermin.

I mean,

which

of these different sized cells would Nermit be inside of?

I mean, I'm gonna venture and guess the smallest ones.

Is that what you meant?

Yep, that is exactly what I meant.

You know, Dar,

it's really fun being down here, just the two of us.

Like...

I feel like a lot of the time there's like

a mission to do or this is not the time to come on to me, Plek.

No, that is not.

No, that's not what it's about.

I'm just saying, like, it's really great to be on an adventure with you, you know?

Like, I usually feel like sometimes, like, mostly it's like C-53 is like, ramp, ramp, ramp, stick to the mission.

Or, like, you know, some native species of a planet is like, I'm going to infect your blood.

But it's just great.

It's just you and me in this dark hallway.

Just

searching for Pleck, it is astounding to me that you didn't pick up on how weird it was that we were getting a promotion.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The idea of going to a vacation planet after all of of our blood has been down every mission to a native species infecting our blooding our blood.

That is different.

Yeah, the sixth squadron sort of sucks, right?

It is the ass end of space.

of rock as this lava flow rushes me

into a rocky cave.

Oh no, the walls are like spikes.

I'm doomed.

Wait, what's this?

A can be white.

It's a monarchy fighter.

A pilot must have stashed it here while waiting out the battle of Sis II.

But surely its power matrix has long since destabilized.

Oh, baby, she runs!

Ha ha ha!

Tardigast back in action.

Woohoo!

This is Rebel Pilot Hark Tardagast en route to rejoin Squadron.

I repeat, Hark Tardagast, returning to Squadron.

I'm about to escape the gravity of this hellish planet, and after that, I shall not return.

I never lost hope.

I always knew that I would survive to fight on against the lowsome Federated Alliance alongside my fellow rebels.

Oh no, there goes my main thruster.

There's no way to maneuver.

This is Rebel Pilot Hark Tardagas.

I've just ejected from a commandeered monarchy fighter.

Adrift in deep space in a failing stasis pod.

Send help, or this will surely be my last message.

Hark Tardagas, signing off.

Uh-uh, let's see.

I just want to thank my parents who their lack of belief in me, I think.

maybe I just want to thank I'm so excited to accept this honor no what am I saying

Nermit

huh black

we're on the other side of this tiny little door

I knew this was a prank oh that's so cool you guys are here what do you mean you knew this was a prank well I'm chained up but it's a weird way to go into a promotion and I knew it was like a distraction because they were bringing you guys here for the ceremony no nermet they're about to incinerate you.

No, no, no.

I'm getting a promotion, remember?

Are you still under the impression, even after being in this cell, that you are still gonna get a promotion?

I'm memorizing, I'm planning my speech.

Alright.

I can't believe that worked.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Nermit, listen, listen.

We're here to save you.

Get inside this flap quickly and let's get out of here.

What do you do?

I'm sorry that this is how you have to experience my flaps for the first time.

I definitely thought it would go a very, very different way.

Hey,

what are you doing?

Hey, get down on the ground.

Oh, wow,

that is a lot of crazy.

Get down on the ground.

Dar.

Yeah.

If I don't make it, tell Bargie

her

hull is shiny.

What are you doing?

Here goes nothing.

Oh, he's got a stick?

What is that?

Dick?

It's a wood saber.

It's pretty similar.

Keep it fresh.

Okay.

Dar, did you see that?

Yeah, I shot

everybody.

Oh.

I brought the Ion gun.

But I feel like part of it was that I was using my woodsaber while you were

shooting everybody.

But you...

Uh, okay, okay, but.

While you danced out there

begging to be shot.

Sure, but I'm just saying they didn't shoot me, which is like

sort of well, it's not the miracle,

it's the space, maybe.

You know what?

The space is real.

Now, we have to get out of here.

We have to find someone else's face.

Yep, let's go.

Let's get out of here.

Okay.

And

as much as I wanted to hate every second of it, I really came to think of all of you as my family.

And Pleck,

and it is amazing they've allowed us this much time to talk without firing on us, but

I actually

don't think you're awful.

Dar, that really means a lot.

Now let's

go get shot.

Ambassador Texer, Dar,

I have a pair of goddamn turbo lasers that might be ready to discuss.

C-53

It turns out enforcer droids are extremely easy to hijack.

Oh, wow.

Well, this is what happens when you cut corners on artificial intelligence.

Sure.

C-53, listen, we got Nermit.

He's inside Dar.

It was.

It was awkward, but sort of feels like we've been building to this the whole time.

Ambassador Deck Center, they're locking down the sub-basements.

I advise that we return to the docking bay as soon as possible.

Oh boy, I don't know how we're gonna get back there.

We're gonna run into a bunch of dudes, right?

Highly likely, yes.

Guys,

can I come out?

No.

I don't think it's safe, Mary.

I just I know all these rooms from when I was looking for where my interview was, so I

drew a pretty good map on my belly.

Is that what those lines were?

Yeah.

If you eject me, you can look at my belly map.

You know what?

Just describe it to us.

We don't have time for this.

Okay, because you have to pass through a chute, and I'm just, I'm not going to move.

Nobody wants that.

Just hit it on this headlamp, and, okay, so.

Don't have a lot of time, Nermit.

All right, so if you're faced the way I think you are, you're going to see a, there's a blue door up ahead, right?

Okay, right.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're going to go through 17 of those doors.

There's all in a row that goes through the streets.

In a straight line.

In a straight line, go and

move through there.

There's going to be a ladder.

It's not going to be big enough for dark.

We're still working on the doors.

Okay.

Just seems like.

You know what, Nermit, We will let you know when we need our next direction.

If the first direction is 17 doors in a row, we're just going to do that.

And make sure there are no shortcuts.

Oh, you wanted the fastest way?

Yes!

Okay, well, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just go up.

There's a, there's probably, if you've gone through one, two, three doors, look up, there's a hatch.

I've gone through six doors at this point.

Okay, there's a hatch into every room.

Just going up, go up it.

Please only have to go through one door.

You can go through a hatch at any time.

I assume you want the coolest way.

No!

Okay,

I'm still putting it through my head that they were gonna kill me.

Okay,

hatch.

Okay, yeah, go up through the hatch.

Okay, so that now we would, I mean, theoretically, be on sub-basement 20.

You're on sub-basement 20.

You're gonna go up 19 hatches.

Climb up.

How do we do this?

Is there an elevator?

The elevator could be full of glints, but yeah, of course, there's an elevator.

Now it just seems like that would save a lot of time.

Okay, so you're gonna go through two blue doors.

Okay.

Alright, see the elevator?

Yes.

Okay.

That's sort of all we were looking for.

Wait.

Does this go straight to the docking bay?

Um, but hang on, let me look at my belly.

Uh, yeah, push floor DB.

Docking bay.

Docking bay, right?

Sure.

Yeah, whatever.

It's a coincidence.

What chair does it stand for?

It stands for D bevel.

It was supposed to be D level.

It's a misprint.

I sure should say D L.

Yeah.

But is D level at least for docking level?

It's stopping and dining.

Oh, the commissary is a little bit more.

The commissariat is D level.

That's true.

Where is Bargie?

Impressive.

Oh,

Commander Voltaire.

Yes, Commander Voltor.

From before.

Did we do something that pleased you in some way to earn your opinion?

No, that was a sarcastic clap.

Oh.

Oh, oh.

Can we hear it again?

Just do it.

I think it could go either way on that clap.

I'm the one who claps, so I know.

I will say, if we hadn't been looking at your face, we would never know if that was sarcastic or very impressed.

Well, why wouldn't you be looking at my face?

My face is showing you volumes right now.

But to not see my face would take most of the experience away.

Yeah, it would be extremely disappointing.

Very difficult.

You'd have to rely on your own imagination about what I looked like.

I mean,

yeah, I wouldn't even begin to.

Do you want to know the reason why I was clapping?

Sure.

Sure.

Yes.

Because I'm impressed with you.

Bradient the Delegator.

A new boy.

Pink one.

Yeah, well.

You seem to have the space about you.

Uh, thank you for saying that.

I actually do.

I happen to be

well on my way to being a Zima warrior.

Oh, boy.

Well, Zima Warrior, you think you've won, don't you?

You think you're so smart and brave.

Well, we haven't won yet.

No, you haven't!

No, you haven't!

Because as soon as you try to leave the delegator on your ship, the Council of Seven will remotely detonate it and everyone on board.

So.

Wait, what do you mean?

Every ambassador ship in the Federated Alliance has a bomb on it that the Council of Seven can detonate.

We will always win.

We are better.

We are stronger.

We have the power of best friendship behind us.

You will never win.

None of you can win.

You, pink boy with the space.

You giant thing with an ion cannon.

And you, giant robot that's very deadly now you might have and and also you little

what are you your little

oh my gosh wink and i'm samo what are you guys doing here take him out wink yummy

wink just ate commander voltor's face

like some of the face

of the horror

Samo and week, what are you guys doing here?

Guys, we're spies for the rebellion.

We're spies for the rebellion.

The old-time rebellion spies.

How is that possible?

What?

What do you mean there is anything possible?

How is that possible?

The amount of dust you guys have.

Yeah, you guys are just dusting up constantly.

Dust makes us fun.

Yeah, dust makes us fun.

I'm not denying that.

It also heightens our senses and our capabilities for espionage.

Yeah, and we're like really good at it, and we've like been doing it for a while.

We've been following you guys for a long time.

Mass in a deck sitter, consider the fact that Samo and Wink have followed us all around the 6th quadrant, keeping tabs on us, all the while under the perfect cover of being hardcore dust addicts.

That's what cover we really are.

It's sort of an added bonus.

Yeah.

Sure.

Wait.

Yeah, tell them what we did with the bomb.

We got rid of it.

We put it in the middle of the cigarette.

The what?

Yeah, we put it in the reactor.

In the reactor of the delegators?

Yeah, we went on a tour, and the guide showed us where the reactor was.

He said, Zwag Tambui made this, and it'll blow up the entire thing if you put a detonator in it.

How did you find the bomb?

Well, we've been intercepting communique from the Council of Seven for weeks.

But also, we just like straight up asked Bar Chain she told us.

Yeah, she did.

She's known the entire time that there's a giant bomb on her.

And we asked her why she didn't tell you guys.

What did she say?

We just like, maybe it was meant to be like, I should just like accept it.

Also, my self-tape wasn't that good.

Yeah.

Then we ended up shooting.

Yeah, we helped to record a few things.

We helped to record a few things.

So good as rock number one.

So great.

I thought my read was pretty good.

But anyway, is there a timer on the bomb?

Oh, yeah, probably we should.

Here's the thing that's great.

So

we went on a tour.

And then we took a break and did some more dust.

Yeah.

We did like, oh my gosh, there's dust on us.

What?

What's the question?

Are we under some sort of time crunch?

Oh, well, I mean, there's guards and the alarm's still going off.

We all just ate off the face of the commanding officer, so I'm sure there's a little bit of a turn.

Do you want to come with us?

No, we've got an escape pod with a big old pile of dust in it.

All right.

That's all right, yeah.

I literally won't say whether there's a timer.

Yeah, we should go.

We should should go.

When you guys leave on Bargie, the Council of Seven is gonna activate the bomb.

But instead of blowing up Bargie, it's gonna blow up the delegator.

That's a dust plan, Mother Jacker.

Hey, guys,

you know what?

I literally never thought I would say this in my entire life.

Samo and Wick, thank you for saving our lives.

Lock in the room without you.

This is where we leave you.

Let's put on some sick shades.

Yay.

Bargie, uh, could you open the hatch, please?

We're gonna gonna take off here.

Alright, everybody, get inside.

Uh, BTW have a bomb in me.

Oh, no, I don't know.

I'm gonna learn it by the two-faced monster that I should be more honest with you when I find a bomb.

Bargie, we appreciate your candor, but we need to get off the ship immediately.

Alright, uh, also, I did have a long discussion with Tiny Two's.

To be honest, I don't think she's doing well.

I think it's one of those things where you just, like, talk about how great you are.

I like to to put it out there.

But really, in reality, you know,

we should probably take off.

What are you gonna do?

You can't just give up on people.

And so we started talking.

And now I know the name of a new ship.

She's a new ship friend.

Great, Bargie.

She gotta get out of here.

It's okay.

We've decided to put all of our differences behind you.

That's great, Bargie.

Here you go.

I might be big.

I

One second, Nerman.

Just

relax.

Just relax.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's get in here.

Let's all go.

I've already jumped us to hyperspace, Virgin.

Engine rebels, this is your calm and collected leader, Rolfus Tittle, with a critical announcement.

Support for the rebellion against the Federated Alliance comes from Miundes.

Does your junkie?

Brace yourself for exciting news.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

This channel is in use.

Oh, sorry.

I didn't bring it.

Wait.

Sisu?

Rofus?

We agreed that we weren't going to be able to.

Yeah, I know, okay?

But I have a belief in the middle of the city.

No, no, that was part of the agreement.

You get the channel from 635 to 1780.

Oh, chuck the agreement.

I'm not going to put the rebellion on hold just because my ex-husband insists on hogging the encrypted frequency to sell underwear.

That underwear is making this rebellion possible.

Are really always well, my spies just blew up an alliance administrative ship.

Wait, what?

Yes, the delegator has just been destroyed.

That's what I got on this channel to announce.

That's amazing.

It's a huge win for the rebellion, and we owe it all to a team of heroic ambassadors who defected.

Sisu, I owe you an apology.

Maybe it's not the underwear that makes this rebellion possible.

Maybe it's

the people.

Long live the rebellion, Commander Gundu.

Long live the rebellion, General Tittle.

Tittle out!

Alright, Nermit, get ready.

Okay.

Oh!

Nermit!

Oh, boy.

What's up, buddy?

Oh, man.

I'm inside the Bargerian shade.

Nermit!

You know, Nermit, I was right.

You are adorable.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, my gosh.

This is insane.

Oh, I've already seen this on movies.

Sit down.

Just sit down here.

I'm going to fuck.

Oh, I fell over.

Alright, sit, just.

Oh, thank you.

Guys, I...

I don't think I'm getting that promotion.

Oh, Nermit.

Yeah, I think that's probably

not going to happen.

Because they were gonna kill me.

Yeah, sure, sure.

Well, one thing's for sure, buddy.

We are outlaws.

Big-time outlaws.

Oh, my gosh.

That's true.

How does it feel to be a hero?

Oh, man.

The rebellion is gonna raise us up.

They're gonna take us through town on their shoulders.

Whoa.

We'll be able to walk into nearly any bar in the galaxy and see a picture of ourselves that says wanted.

Yeah.

Well, that's also true.

Sure.

That's true.

That's in your deck center.

I.

Oh, uh, actually.

Guess I don't have to say that.

Yeah, you can sort of say whatever you want.

Uh, how about Professor Dexter?

Well, that's inaccurate.

Okay.

No, no, no, no.

That's not

gonna work either.

Oh, okay.

Hey.

Hey, guys.

Hi.

Good news.

Good news.

Delegator.

Well, we can actually show you the footage.

Oh, yeah.

Sick footage.

Footage of the delegator blowing up.

That is a lot of shit to explain.

Yeah.

It's better if you're on dust.

Seriously, we've been watching it so many times.

It's a different colour and you're like, are you my mother?

Yeah.

Is that

tiny tooth?

Yeah.

Yeah, that is.

So here's the here's the kicker, guys.

Here's the gray thing.

You guys aren't even blamed for it.

Yeah.

Nobody knows that it was you guys.

You didn't exist.

Everybody's pinning it on tiny toots and turk mannequins.

Uh-oh.

They're the biggest outlaws in the galaxy.

Nobody has any idea who you guys are.

Yeah, they're all like already praising them.

Like, both sides.

Yeah, both sides.

The Federated Alliance thinks of them as an incredible threat, and the rebellion is so excited about them.

So, yeah, nobody knows that you did anything.

Okay.

Sort of

Yeah, I guess so.

You know, guys, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Whatever.

Whatever.

Yeah.

Yeah, if you ever need some dots or anything or want to join the rebellion and

maybe we'll see you around.

Yeah, maybe.

As soon as we are free to choose our own destiny.

Cool, man.

Cool.

Totally cool.

So cool.

Have you turned it off yet Wink have you turned the thing off the fine

Well guys uh

what's next man,

what's not next is next

Can I like uh can I see the warm bean?

Oh

yeah, we've been keeping it in this cup of wine because I forgot about it.

Yeah, I use it to make I use it to make tea because it's faster than the replicator that is a relic.

Sometimes I like to go fast as soul, so I roll it around.

That's a real hoot.

You roll the bean around just by changing the speed of the entire ship?

Yeah, yeah.

Well, anyway, Nermit, um, here is the bean.

Oh, yeah, I'll just pull it out of this water and wow, it's

sort of much larger in your hand.

Yeah, wow, this is big and it's

kind of

always throbbing.

Is it always what?

Nermit, what are you doing to me?

Nothing, I'm just holding it.

There's light happening, there's light coming out of it.

Huh.

Well, that's not why I expected to be in there.

C-Red IT-5 credits and attributions droid commencing outro protocol.

Ambassador Plug Dexter was played by Alden Ford.

C-53 was played by Jeremy Bend.

Security Officer Dar was played by Ali Kokesh.

RG the Ship, The Enforcer Droids, and Wing were played by Mujan Zolfagari.

Junior Missions Operations Manager Nerman Bundeloy was played by Seth Lynn.

Clone Flight Infantry Nomadic Troopers Commander Voltor and Samo were played by Winston Null.

Mission to Zix is recorded at Braun Studios in Greenpoint, Brooklyn by engineer Shane O'Connell.

This episode edited by Seth Lynde with sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell.

Music by Brendan Ryan.

Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Cratchley.

Ship design for the Vargarian Jade by Eric Goitz.

Mission to Zix is brought to this galaxy by Audioboom.

Thanks, Audioboom.

This concludes season one of Mission to Zix.

Does my skin look okay?

I feel like you seem to be flaking a lot.

I don't know.

I feel weird in this air.

What sort of humidity are you used to, Nermit?

Like 85%.

Oh.

They had to keep my office at 85% to keep me hydrated.

We might need to relocate you to this

terrarium.

Oh, now that feels like a little humiliating.

It has a heat rock.

Oh.

It's a big flat rock that gets very hot.

Huh.

Now we're talking.