Rewind with Karen & Georgia - Episode 42: Abject Failure

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Goodbye.

Speaker 1 Hello.

Speaker 1 And welcome to Rewind with Karen and Georgia. It is Wednesday, or as I like to call it, Rewinds Day.
I love that.

Speaker 1 And this is a show where we recap our old episodes with all new commentary, updates, and insights. Today we're recapping episode 42.
It's a tough one. We named it Abject Failure.
You'll see.

Speaker 1 You'll understand why once you start listening. It's very accurate for the time.
This episode came out on November 10th.

Speaker 1 So like five days after the worst thing of all time in 2016, 2016, the vibes are bad. We are just trying to hold on, trying to help other people hold on.
We do our best.

Speaker 1 Let's take a moment and emotionally prepare to listen to the intro of episode 42.

Speaker 1 Are you going to belch?

Speaker 1 This belch is brought to you by Chipotle.

Speaker 1 Chipotle.

Speaker 1 When life is empty and you need beans,

Speaker 1 When your heart is empty and you need to fill your gut. Go to Chipotle.

Speaker 1 This isn't an ad. And fart it out.
I know. They're like, these ads are getting so casual.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 1 I just feel a little broken today. Uh-huh.
Why?

Speaker 1 Oh, didn't I tell you? No, no. I've been away.
I was in New Zealand. The world's crashing down around our heads.
Oh, I didn't realize. Oh, yeah, it's true.

Speaker 1 Well, this is the day after, you guys, which is one of the great nuclear war scare films from the 80s.

Speaker 1 If you haven't seen it and you want a different kind of scare entertainment,

Speaker 1 The Day After is one of the most upsetting things I was left alone to watch when I was 11 years old. I feel like that is the

Speaker 1 exact opposite of what I need to be watching right now, considering the circumstances. Do not watch it, which is that.
Not only did Hillary lose, Trump won the presidency,

Speaker 1 Jill Stein didn't come in as that third-party candidate to tear it away. Not only.

Speaker 1 I would have been fine. I would have been fine.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You know what's funny is

Speaker 1 there is

Speaker 1 nothing at all. So let's get this done.

Speaker 1 We just start fighting. What's funny?

Speaker 1 That it seems like, first of all, it's 100 degrees in Los Angeles today. So there's a hellscape feel to all of life right now that's very surreal.
and it's really quiet.

Speaker 1 It doesn't, I mean, like, cause this is California, it's very quiet. People are like, I feel like people are looking inside themselves.
People are devastated.

Speaker 1 And I just want to like hold everyone's hand that I see. Not that I left the house much today, but when I did, it was like,

Speaker 1 I wanted to apologize to everyone who is going to be fucked, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Including us. I mean, who knows in all different ways.

Speaker 1 But here's here's what I was trying to do. This is what I did, which I never do.
I was just letting everybody merge in front of me today.

Speaker 1 Anybody that came anywhere near me with a blanker on, I was like, go ahead. Yeah.
I had my arm out the window. Go ahead, everybody.
Go. Maybe we'll all be friends now.
Yeah. It's, I mean,

Speaker 1 I don't know. I was so cocky yesterday.
You know what I mean? Yeah. The conversation I had with the dude I ordered lunch from was so like, he was like, I'm scared.
I'm like, we're going to be fine.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We got this jokey joke yeah and i want to go back there and be like i'm sorry i took your fucking worry not seriously but that's what it wasn't that you weren't taking it seriously that's what everybody

Speaker 1 was doing yeah i mean i feel like that's what everyone down to political polar pundits were doing yeah the faces on and uh madow

Speaker 1 maddox when her when she kind of realized what was going on was when I was like, goodbye, go into the wine bar. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What bothers me, like, okay, so, and sorry, this is becoming a political component. Like, this is just so new.

Speaker 1 And we need to, I'm just like, I don't know how we're going to do this, but like, it's, it's, when Bush won, I was like, oh, well, everyone's going to see what a mistake that was because it's going to affect them.

Speaker 1 But the people that this is going to affect aren't the people who voted for him. It's the people who aren't

Speaker 1 minorities. It's not going to affect anyone who voted for him.
And also, what's weird is there were some minorities that voted for him. That's what I was saying.
I mean, there's, there is a,

Speaker 1 uh,

Speaker 1 it was a con. It's a long con.
And, uh, you know, who knows? Who knows? Hillary said, uh, we have to give him a chance and see what happens. Who knows?

Speaker 1 But if you're stoked, if you're stoked today, um,

Speaker 1 you know, we envy that position that, that you think that you have solved a problem by putting Donald Trump into the presidency. It must feel great.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I personally was so thrilled at the idea of a woman becoming.

Speaker 1 It was so exciting.

Speaker 1 enjoy your naivety and what's been great though is that like for all the posts i've put up on and on on the my favorite murder boards and stuff not a single person has responded and been like

Speaker 1 fuck you you know like i think everyone who follows us for my favorite murder reasons nope no no you saw this shit yes

Speaker 1 come to twitter

Speaker 1 really come to the bus stop that is twitter and see what people are really saying i mean it's a a nice idea, but no. Okay.

Speaker 1 Which is why I don't think we should talk about politics because that's basically just telling people don't be interested in this. Okay, let's start then.

Speaker 1 Unless you don't want to. Let's start.

Speaker 1 No, let's start the podcast.

Speaker 1 Anything? Any housekeeping? Do you have no housekeeping? I thought I probably did yesterday.

Speaker 1 I guess that I can talk about the thing I loved, which I saw on the Facebook page, which was there was a Murderino meetup in Colorado that was so awesome.

Speaker 1 Like I kept looking at the picture this morning. It really gave me a lot of good feeling this morning.

Speaker 1 I went straight to that Facebook page like the second I woke up and just looked at all these people communicating with each other.

Speaker 1 And the thing that they wrote about about this meetup of all these people talking about this thing that they're interested in, but then also talking about

Speaker 1 getting a self-defense class started.

Speaker 1 They were just, and they like all look like they're just kind of hanging with friends. They all looked, they looked like people who all went to high school together.

Speaker 1 Like, they already looked like a group of people. Yeah.
And that's, I find that incredibly touching. That people, to me, at the end of the day, that's what it's all about.

Speaker 1 It's like people are actually connecting with the other human beings. Totally.
I'm so happy. Making friends.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Did I tell you, speaking of making friends? Oh, I have to tell you about my acupuncturist

Speaker 1 and how I went, I've been seeing her for like a few, a couple of months now for my, the sciatica issue, and And she's been really fucking helping me.

Speaker 1 And she's this wonderful, like soft-spoken, sweet person. She reminds me of like a kindergarten teacher.

Speaker 1 Wait, is it, where is it? It's in Silver Lake. Oh, at the Dow.
It's not at the Dow of. No.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Shout out to Holly.

Speaker 1 She, I came in to get my acupuncture this week, last week, and she was like, so one of my clients knows I'm into true crime and said to me, you need to listen to this podcast.

Speaker 1 And she's like, I listened to three episodes of it before. I was like, I wonder who these girls are.
And then she's like, and then I looked at it and it was you.

Speaker 1 She didn't even know it was me while she was listening, but she's like, I like it a lot. And then, of course, told me her hometown murder, where she's fucking awesome, San Diego.

Speaker 1 And about like a girl who got killed from high school. And her mom got killed.
And it turned out that they were into dealing drugs and shit.

Speaker 1 And the cops initially thought that it was like the serial killer that was going around at the time. And they're like, it doesn't fit the MO, but maybe it is.

Speaker 1 And then they found out that they were dealing drugs. And wow.
I know.

Speaker 1 That just reminded me. I had a similar experience at the rap party for my job.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to be able to remember her name now.

Speaker 1 It might be Cassie.

Speaker 1 It might be something with a no.

Speaker 1 But anyway, it was. Cassio.
It's Cassie. Okay.
I met a Cassio keyboard from the 80s and I put it on Bossa Nova and danced by myself at a rap party. Yelling murderino.

Speaker 1 And it was basically oh i get to get the murder me no karen stop it you're sober karen this is why this is a rap party is because we all wanted to it's actually still going on we were just trying to convince you that it's over we're trying to wrap you personally out of this journey we're trying to be nice so

Speaker 1 making it hard i wouldn't be surprised um

Speaker 1 but anyway she uh

Speaker 1 worked

Speaker 1 She works.

Speaker 1 I can't remember where. She works somehow on the show.
Sorry. Her name is something and she works.
Her name is something. She means the world to me.
She works somewhere and she's blonde.

Speaker 1 She was so sweet. She works for

Speaker 1 the show somehow, but like in a

Speaker 1 network or for publicity or something where it's not in our office or whatever. So it's okay that you like, you didn't work with her for four months and then not know her anything.

Speaker 1 Never seen her, never met her. Also, there's a chance she doesn't work on the show.
And it was her roommate that works on the show now that I'm thinking about it.

Speaker 1 But end of the day, the fun part is she

Speaker 1 listened to the podcast and wanted to know what show I was working on

Speaker 1 when I would talk about it.

Speaker 1 And then she, so she goes, and then I saw you here. Now I know what show you've been working on.
It was,

Speaker 1 it was very fun and exciting. I have, I just remembered now that this fog of depression is lifting over me a little bit because I'm laughing for the first time since yesterday.
It's key. It's crucial.

Speaker 1 It really is.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 one, the Americana in Glendale. I go in to Made Well, who makes great jeans, great expensive jeans.
This is like my first time in my life not buying $10 jeans.

Speaker 1 And I get a pair, I buy a, I go to, I go to put one on, I go to grab a pair.

Speaker 1 And then, of course, the ones that are on top fall to the ground as they do. Sure.
Right as this like sweet girl comes up to me to like, can I help? And I thought, I was like, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 I was like,

Speaker 1 I'm sorry making a mess. And she's like, I'm scared because these jeans are expensive.
Right. And I just toppled a bunch of them.
And she's like, are you Georgia? And I was like, yes.

Speaker 1 And she's like, We listened to

Speaker 1 we heard that the J. Cruz shout out that you had done.
And like, we do that too. No.
Yes. They were so sweet.
We've spread to the Americana. So the Americana made well, ladies.
What's up? Shout out.

Speaker 1 Hi, girls and guys. And then yesterday, I think I just met girls.
So it's

Speaker 1 yesterday. I went to this French restaurant in Echo Park to try to watch the end of the world.

Speaker 1 And it was too crowded for me. But as I walk in, this table like hi at me, and I just hi back because I don't ever recognize anyone, you know, and they're like murdering.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, good, I don't know. And they were just random fucking

Speaker 1 fans. Jesus, that's how.
So that's three.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then as I left immediately because it was too crowded, I made the mime of, I'm going to go slit my wrist somewhere else at them.

Speaker 1 And then I did.

Speaker 1 A real fun space.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go commit suicide. I'm going to go ahead and go down the street where it's quiet.

Speaker 1 Well, I like that. I feel like um

Speaker 1 this part of the podcast might

Speaker 1 to an outsider yeah seem oh yeah uh self-indulgent but as we have had to answer in in

Speaker 1 uh even that is what i'm trying to say is that this is very new to us and so when these things happen it's still hilarious and fun for us exciting and exciting and um it's its own you know it's like greetings corner or whatever it's It's like meeting friends you didn't know you had.

Speaker 1 And it's so exciting just to be like, to meet these like cool people who are no one's been crazy to me yet. They're all

Speaker 1 there are very few crazy people.

Speaker 1 And then when it stretches out to like my fucking acupuncturist, who by all accounts is like a nice, normal human being, and she's like, I like it. What is it supposed to be like? Mind-body.

Speaker 1 And then she's like,

Speaker 1 she totally is. Yeah.
I mean, what we're saying is there's fucking nice people everywhere and it's nice to know and it's nice to remind each other of

Speaker 1 and keep saying hi and we'll try to do the same and maybe remember your name or where you worked. No,

Speaker 1 she was the nicest person. She seems nice.
The one I can't remember.

Speaker 1 Callie. Someone, she looked like she was from the Midwest.
She was so happy. Cassio.

Speaker 1 I feel like,

Speaker 1 you know, let's talk about something else.

Speaker 1 Awful.

Speaker 1 Let's talk about another, like, let's get our minds off an awful life. Okay.

Speaker 1 Here's a transitional, awful topic. Okay.
The woman who was found chained like a dog inside the metal container

Speaker 1 in North Carolina.

Speaker 1 They have found four bodies on the property. Four bodies buried.
And so far. That fucking Amazon shit.
Oh, yes. That's so many people sent me that.
Did you look at it? Yes. I didn't look at it.

Speaker 1 So, this guy who's like, by all accounts, a serial killer who already had a record for child molestation. Rape at gunpoint.
Rape at gunpoint. Somehow, that's just.

Speaker 1 Again, let's just make everything awful. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He has been commenting on the tools he's used to kill people and chain them up on Amazon, reviewing them and saying shit like,

Speaker 1 this, if I, I haven't killed anyone with this yet, but when I do, this will be a great tool. Like straight up admitting, like, this, this chain, this padlock is great for chaining people.
Like, oh,

Speaker 1 dude. I think it's still up there too.
I think the cops are looking into it. So they haven't taken them down yet, maybe? That's,

Speaker 1 I feel like that's second only to my favorite internet comments, which are on those sugar-free gummy bears. Oh, my God.
Which is now, let's just turn this around.

Speaker 1 Here, here's, we're going to, we're going to just, we're mining for positivity.

Speaker 1 Should I find a couple? Um, yeah, yes, if you want to. Okay.
So, and I'll just, I'm sure everybody knows this because it's kind of legendary, but if you don't, I don't think a lot of people know this.

Speaker 1 So, they, these, this gummy bear company made their own version of sugar-free gummy bears and they were for sale on amazon and the reviews for these suggest sugar free gummy bears that have that contain some chemical it's called um

Speaker 1 sugar alcohol okay so sugar alcohol apparently makes you shit your pants it does so there are reviews where people were like oh my god i i was shitting all day like people just talking about these gummy bears just wreaking havoc on their intestinal system and they just get more ridiculous and poetic as they go.

Speaker 1 People are really like being, there's a lot, there's a few different places of like

Speaker 1 products that people will pick up on and cover. Like, there's like a single Bic pen, and it's just like people are talking about like time travel and what the Bic Pen has done for them.

Speaker 1 This is, this makes me happy. Yes.
Um,

Speaker 1 it's kind of gross. Do it.

Speaker 1 I mean, well, here's one: be sure to also buy a tub of OxyClean with this to get the blood and diarrhea stains out of your underwear, clothes, furniture, pets, loved ones, ceiling fans.

Speaker 1 Let's see. Oh my God, everything previously written is true.
It's all true. Don't eat more than 15 in a sitting unless you were trying to power wash your intestines.

Speaker 1 The cramping started about an hour later, and soon enough,

Speaker 1 I was as bloated as a balloon in Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.

Speaker 1 When the rumbling started, I sprinted down the hallway and made it to the bathroom just in time for the four horsemen of the apocalypse to stampede from my backside laying ways to my home septic system and my will to live.

Speaker 1 After three hours of a pelvis shaking gummy bear assault, I was spongy and weak, surprised that I had any bones left. I cursed Horribo, Harribo.
Horribo, that's

Speaker 1 with the little strength I could muster. But here's the cool thing about them: is that people now, and it's in the reviews, people with like really bad illnesses who get constipated.

Speaker 1 I think chance, I think chemo makes you unable to shit. You are now like recommending them.
Take two, like posts.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes. Like it's relieving constipation.

Speaker 1 I sat in, my friend Stephanie and I sat in her car one day and I just read them and we were both crying. We were just crying laughing.
There's a banana slicer.

Speaker 1 That's a good one, too, if you ever get sad and bored tonight.

Speaker 1 Banana slicer reviews. There's banana slicer reviews that are just hilarious.
Nice.

Speaker 1 What was I going to say? Yeah, don't eat sugar alcohol. Be careful.
It's in a lot of stuff. And I've eaten it before, and it makes you so bloated.
You're in so much pain.

Speaker 1 Wow, I've never even heard of that. Yeah, it'll say, it's in a lot of stuff.
And you think, oh, it's just sugar because it says sugar alcohol. It's fucking terrible.
Wow. Yep.

Speaker 1 It's like a sugar substitute. Yeah.
It's like a, I think it's an app, an extraction of sugar that they take. And they're like, it's sugar-free.

Speaker 1 Oh, right. Yeah.
It's no, don't eat that. Just eat sugar.

Speaker 1 Guys, just use sugar ultimately at the end of the day, except for those of you who have quit sugar. Karen.
Name Karen. I'm proud.
I'm so impressed with you. Thank you.
As a sugar addict.

Speaker 1 Well, once it's out of your system, you don't crave it anymore. That's the shocking part.
But what if I still crave cake? Like, I don't want sugar, but I want cake. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 It's like a different. You're making up what's going to happen to you.
Is that what you're saying? Well, like, I know you don't crave sugar.

Speaker 1 Like, you're not like, I want something sweet, but I want cake. It's a different thing.
No, but it's like, I want a piece of cake. Yeah.
Well, that's just an idea. That's true.

Speaker 1 That may need to go psychological for, not just. Yeah.
I mean, I think all of it's kind of psychological. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Should we just not talk about murder? I don't know. I feel like it's like, yeah,

Speaker 1 that sucks.

Speaker 1 We've touched upon it enough.

Speaker 1 I mean, we really have. We've danced around it a lot.
Let's have this one be all about, let's just read review, funny reviews this whole episode. I mean, I wouldn't mind it.
We kind of could.

Speaker 1 Do you want to look for the banana slicer? Yes. Let me see if I can find any.
Do you want me to read you another? Yes. Okay.

Speaker 1 I have a good one, but it's also like, is it better than what's happening right now?

Speaker 1 I want to read a good one.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 After a few hours, I had an extreme buildup of gas with no relief. All I could was lay down and pray for a fart.

Speaker 1 That might sound funny, but when you've eaten something that has basically turned you into blue into the blueberry girl from lily wonka you're pleading with your life violet beauregard is her name oh

Speaker 1 uh there's like okay i want to find the big pen one let's see big i just found banana slicer okay read and this is a buzzfeed article so you can actually find it okay it's the article called amazon reviews of this plastic banana slicer are just the best

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 So here's the first one.

Speaker 1 For decades, I've been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. Use a knife, they say.
Oh, my parole officer won't allow me to be on knives. Shoot it with a gun.
Background check, hello.

Speaker 1 I had to resort to carefully attempting to slice these bananas with my bare hands.

Speaker 1 99.9% of the time, I would just get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger.

Speaker 1 Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel, and my life was changed.

Speaker 1 What can I say about this 571B banana slicer that hasn't already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone? This is one of the greatest inventions of all time.

Speaker 1 My husband and I would argue constantly over who had to cut the day's banana slices. No one.

Speaker 1 It's one of those choices chores no one wants to do. You know, the old, I spend the entire day rearing our children.
Maybe you can pitch in and cut these bananas.

Speaker 1 And of course, you think I have the energy to slave over your damn bananas. I worked a 12-hour shift just to come on to these, to this.

Speaker 1 I mean, this fucking thing goes on for like seven more pairs of days. I love it.

Speaker 1 All right, let me find one. Banana slicer.
It's like a play. It's like people getting their creativity.
I love them.

Speaker 1 Okay, the 10 best. Here's the thought catalog has the 10 best reviews for a big pens for her.

Speaker 1 Someone has answered my gentle prayers and finally designed a pen that I can use all month long. I use it when I'm swimming, riding a horse, walking on the beach, and doing yoga.

Speaker 1 It's comfortable, leak-proof, non-slip, and it makes me feel so feminine and pretty. Since I've been using these pens, men have found me more attractive and approachable.

Speaker 1 It's given me soft skin and manageable hair, and it has really given me the self-esteem I needed to start a book club and flirt with the bad boy at my local market.

Speaker 1 My drawings of kittens and ponies have improved. And now that I'm writing my last name, hyphenated with

Speaker 1 Robert Patterson's last name, I really believe he may someday marry me. I'm positively giddy.
Those smart men in marketing have come up with a pen that my lady parts can really identify with.

Speaker 1 Where has this pen been all my life?

Speaker 1 That's the big pen for her,

Speaker 1 and it's like pink and purple. It's probably a piece of shit pink pen with.
Oh my gosh, so stupid. I do think we should do murders.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I mean, just because there's some, there's some Trump lovers who are like, hey, can't I have my favorite show? Hey, why can't I have what I want? Oh, right. In 2016, America.
Wait a second.

Speaker 1 I want something. Give it to me now.
Cut that part out, Stephen. No, don't.

Speaker 1 Do you want something? Give it to me now.

Speaker 1 And we're back. Why didn't we just turn this podcast into a reading reviews podcast? You know how much easier our lives would have been for you? I mean, the work is done for you.

Speaker 1 You're just printing stuff up. And I mean, that is still a great idea.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Come on.
Let's podcast seven days a week. Well, the Haribo people stopped offering reduced sugar products.
That whole thing was a bit of a mini scandal.

Speaker 1 And then I think they were like, oh, we can't use that chemical anymore. Oh, too bad for them.
Man, that bottom line is disappointed in that. Right.
You know, and that's really all that matters.

Speaker 1 This is so weird. It's like, it just feels like deja vu.
And like, we are so hopeful that, like, we're trying to look at the positive.

Speaker 1 We're trying not to be too, too political, which is hilarious because we are now. I mean, there's no way around it.
Yeah. We have learned our lesson about scandal and online meltdown cancellation.

Speaker 1 So no one's trying to be the subject of that ever again. No, we're trying to be even, but I feel like that went away pretty quick after this.
So, which I'm happy about. It's a weird thing.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Fascism. It's super weird.
Fascism is just weird. Yes.
And it's like a double, it've been doubled down now. So yeah.
Yeah. You know, here we are.

Speaker 1 Now we're just all kind of like, I look at my phone while I watch TV, while I'm chewing on something. That's usually getting me through.
It helps. That's all we can do.
Dogs and cats help, I think.

Speaker 1 Animals.

Speaker 1 For sure. Friends.
Speaking of friends, this episode is all hometowns that you guys were in. This is the first time that we had the idea just to do hometowns.

Speaker 1 And because I think we were kind of busy that week and devastated, we let you guys do the homework. So let's get into the series of hometowns.

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Speaker 1 Terms and conditions apply. Goodbye.

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Speaker 1 I'll go first this week. Please.
Instead of asking, I'll volunteer. Please.
I'll throw myself in front of the train. Please.
All right. So

Speaker 1 then this week, we're just going to read your hometown murders as our main thing. Yeah.
Oh, this starts off with a very professional note.

Speaker 1 And it says in the note, colon, in the unlikely event you refer to this story on air or publicly, please do not share my name or email address. Anonymous is good enough.

Speaker 1 I love your podcast and look forward to each one every week. Thanks for being awesome.

Speaker 1 Let's give out that email address.

Speaker 1 I love that it's so reasonable.

Speaker 1 It's exactly what I needed that first time. I gave that woman's full information.

Speaker 1 There's a second piece of information there that I'll tell you after the podcast that's really good, but I don't think I should read it since I think it would indicate who this person is.

Speaker 1 Is it a famous person? It's they have a they have a

Speaker 1 connection to a famous serial killing team. And their email address is justin at timberlake.com.

Speaker 1 His publicist is a real bee.

Speaker 1 So we give out his. All right.
So here's what Anonymous has to say.

Speaker 1 My parents moved us to the Santa Clara Valley near Magic Mountain and the site of the San Francisco

Speaker 1 San Francisquito dam disaster in 1988. Santa Clarita was then an underdeveloped

Speaker 1 and had a lot of wooded hills and was more of a small town. People noticed new people moving in, and local shops would call you by your first name.
We didn't even have to lock our car doors.

Speaker 1 That's what my time was like. In 1989, a little girl named Sarah Hodges disappeared in Newhall.

Speaker 1 She was only seven years old, and her parents assumed that she had maybe wandered off and gotten hurt or was at a friend's house and hadn't told them.

Speaker 1 A citywide search was immediately put into place, including house-to-house searches, dogs, mounted police, helicopters, neighborhood volunteers searching the brush and woods.

Speaker 1 One of the volunteers was her 14-year-old neighbor named Curtis Cooper.

Speaker 1 Curtis had been living with his father in Florida until a few months before and now lived with his mom, Crystal, in a room she rented for Mrs.

Speaker 1 Casmar.

Speaker 1 It was rumored that Curtis and Crystal both slept in the same large water bed in a single room. Mrs.
Casmar's house was five doors away from Sarah's house. Uh-oh.

Speaker 1 Curtis used to play with Sarah and sometimes sometimes went horseback riding with her and was one of the first to volunteer for her when she disappeared. Red flag.
This sounds familiar. It does.

Speaker 1 I think you've done this. Did I do the one where he says it's waterbed?

Speaker 1 Oh, no, because he lived in a house

Speaker 1 with them. No, yeah.
But it's very familiar. They're very similar to the murder I did once.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's slightly older boy and little girl. And waterbed.
And water.

Speaker 1 Totally same thing.

Speaker 1 Okay. The dogs, the mounted police, the neighbors, and the house-to-house search, including Mrs.
Casmar's house, turned up nothing. Sarah's face was everywhere, and she was the talk of the schools.

Speaker 1 She was the lead news story every night and in all the papers. How could a seven-year-old just disappear in this small, sleepy, shit kickery town?

Speaker 1 Shortly after Sarah disappeared, the Coopers had a fan blowing out their window running day and night. Mrs.

Speaker 1 Casmar thought it was odd that the fan was blowing out instead of in and that it was going all the time.

Speaker 1 She also began to smell something foul from the Cooper's room and finally went to investigate while they were both out. Hell yeah, Mrs.
Casmar.

Speaker 1 Rock the Casmar.

Speaker 1 See, you still got it. You still got it.
Just always. Rock the Casmar.
Four days after she had disappeared, Mrs.

Speaker 1 Casmar, some reports say it was Crystal, found the fully clothed, decomposing body of Sarah Hodges. She was wedged between the wall and the headboard of the waterbed.

Speaker 1 She was in there with both of them? Yeah, Curtis and Crystal had slept with Sarah beneath their heads with the fan blowing for three days. What the fuck?

Speaker 1 At first, the news reported that maybe Sarah had been playing hide-and-go-seek and had wedged herself into tightly and snapped her neck. That was a story the Coopers were selling anyway.

Speaker 1 However, an examination revealed Sarah had been strangled and sexually assaulted.

Speaker 1 It was thought that she was murdered in Curtis's room and hidden there only a few hours before the deputies searched the house. Oh my God.

Speaker 1 It turns out that Curtis had been in trouble in Florida and had been arrested for committing several petty thefts and burglaries and basically had to leave.

Speaker 1 Curtis claimed he had been looking for help for years for his, quote, severe emotional problems, but in Florida, he was, quote, shifted from agency to agency without ever receiving proper treatment.

Speaker 1 Apparently, whatever Curtis had done, it was bad enough for Florida not to want him.

Speaker 1 The person wrote that. And I guess it was, according to the deputy district attorney who prosecuted him, Curtis had planned the murder about a week before it occurred.
Planned it? Planned it.

Speaker 1 And also planned, but never

Speaker 1 carried out a similar murder two years earlier while in Florida when he would have been around 12 or 13. Holy shit.
Rosenberg,

Speaker 1 oh, that deputy district attorney had claimed that Curtis had a belief that he had to kill to have sexual relations.

Speaker 1 Although he was found by the court experts to have some brain damage, it was not enough for an insanity defense.

Speaker 1 Curtis was convicted of a murder with a special allegation of sexual assault and received 25 years to life, although the California Youth Authority could only actually hold him until he's 25. What?

Speaker 1 Which would have been in the year 2000. Oh, my God.
Four months after Sarah was found, her father went to her grave site, sat vigil all night, then shot and killed himself over her grave.

Speaker 1 He was only 36 years old. Honey, all of them.
Oh, anonymous. That was a really good email.

Speaker 1 Who was molesting that kid then?

Speaker 1 You know, like, you don't just become a sexual predator at 12. I mean, he lived in Florida, any fucking thing.
It could have been like a clown in his closet. The worst things happen there.

Speaker 1 This will just go to show you how important it is to fund

Speaker 1 mental health facilities and get people that mental health and for the government to not defund and all the goodbye. It's already been defunded.
We haven't had that in so long.

Speaker 1 That's fair, but I think

Speaker 1 this

Speaker 1 presidency, it's going to come back in time. No, for sure.

Speaker 1 I feel like that empathetic, yep, you know, hold up your brother, care for others, positive works. That's it's going to be happening.
Yeah, it's going to be beautiful. Uh, it's a brand new day.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 This is from Jacqueline.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 of course, I read this because all cap subject line is Adirondack Nightmare, full on fucked up.

Speaker 1 Ladies, hello. Love the podcast, obviously, but I'll get to right to the point here.
My brother told me the story yesterday about his fiancé's cousin. Fasten your seatbelts, motherfuckers.

Speaker 1 She wrote, motherfuckers.

Speaker 1 Soon, my soon-to-be sister-in-law's cousin was going through some shit, so her dad suggested she go up to their house in the Adirondacks for a few days to clear her head.

Speaker 1 God, that sounds nice, doesn't it? I would love to be there right this night. Let's go.
Because also, it wouldn't be 105. It also wouldn't be 105.

Speaker 1 She would, and then also that would mean someone had money in your family because having a house in the Adirondacks, that's got to be like family. I mean, don't they have their own chair?

Speaker 1 The Adirondacks have their even have their own chairs. It's an area of the country that has its own chair.
And it's a comfy chair.

Speaker 1 How rich you have to be. Like it's a chair that's supposed to, you're supposed to have a mojito in one hand.
Yes. You know what I mean? It's a relaxing in the summertime chair.
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 She went out for a long weekend, had been hearing some noises in the vents and just around the house, but she knew her dad had been having issues with squirrels in the house recently.

Speaker 1 I bet it's not squirrels. It's not squirrels.
So she didn't think anything of it and just rode it off for a few days. Bad idea.
Bad idea. That's what that, yeah.

Speaker 1 Finally, after a few days, she calls her dad and tells him about the noises she's been hearing. And he tells her just to call the police to sort it out as you do.

Speaker 1 She's reluctant at first because she doesn't want to bother the police if it's nothing. And then she wrote, fuck politeness.
But her dad, I don't want to bother the police.

Speaker 1 I don't want to bother the police whose job it is to check things out. Yeah.
So I'm just going to get murdered. I don't know if that's true.
But her dad convinces her to call. So she does.

Speaker 1 Listen to a man when he tells you what to do. Oh, man.
she tells the police, like so angry, just

Speaker 1 attacking anyone that comes in.

Speaker 1 Sweet dad, who's like, honey, I'm worried about you. Fuck that dad,

Speaker 1 fuck the Adirondack chair, fuck it all.

Speaker 1 She tells the police the deal, and they say, Sure, we'll come check it out. Are you alone in the house? To which she replies, yes.
And they say, Okay, no problem. We'll come check it out.

Speaker 1 Just give us a few hours. No more than five minutes later, a squad of police cars roll up to her house, lights and sirens ablaze and tell her to get out of the house now.
Come outside.

Speaker 1 Turns out there was a fucking man in her basement the entire time building a fucking cage to fucking keep her in. No.
What? He was building the cage in her house.

Speaker 1 I guess she had gone on a date with this man a few weeks prior and he had been stalking her ever since. He followed her upstate and casually fucking began building a goddamn cage to keep her in.

Speaker 1 This is her basement. This is all her, in the basement of her own house.
I wish I'd say this for last because how are we going to be playing? I know, I know. This is the one to beat.

Speaker 1 The cops were able to figure it out because when she told them she was alone in the house, they saw or heard, I'm not sure, that someone else was on the phone line in the house.

Speaker 1 When I'm yelling, it's all her all caps, but also me freaking the fuck out. They saw that someone else was on the phone line in the house.

Speaker 1 That sums straight out of a scary story you tell at a slumber party shit, she says.

Speaker 1 That is, it's like that's an urban legend for sure. Yeah, she probably made it up.

Speaker 1 Easy.

Speaker 1 Sorry. I don't mean Jackie.
I mean, this is certain. No, of course she's fine.

Speaker 1 The creepiest thing to me is that this dickweed had plenty of time to do whatever he wanted with this girl, but he was keeping her like a pet until the very right moment to

Speaker 1 do God knows what. Thank God nothing happened to her and she was able to stay sexy and not get cage murdered.
Keep up the good work, ladies. Bye.
Oh my god. Thank you, Jackie.
That was Jackie.

Speaker 1 That was nuts. So yep.

Speaker 1 That,

Speaker 1 do you want to know what that reminded me of? Yes. I just had a recovered memory.
No. Something happened to you? Yes.

Speaker 1 But it doesn't, clearly, it's not going to happen. I hope it's not.
It's not.

Speaker 1 But this was, I came home from being,

Speaker 1 so after I lived in Sacramento, I moved back home

Speaker 1 to live with my parents for a year because I had failed college and I had failed life. And so I go back home and live with my parents to just be a failure.
That's always fun. I did that too.

Speaker 1 But I would drive up to Sacramento to hang out with my friends because my whole social circle was like an hour and a half away. Really sucked a lot.
So, this one time I came home and

Speaker 1 I was going to go downtown to meet somebody. I can't remember.
It was like a bar or whatever. And I was blow-drying my hair.

Speaker 1 And also, we had this cat that was acting crazy, just being super weird and flinching and doing weird shit. And I kept going, What is why are you doing that?

Speaker 1 And so

Speaker 1 I heard a loud noise while I was blow-drying my hair. So I turn the blow dryer off and I just stand there.
And then I'm hearing like very faint noises.

Speaker 1 So like a tick here, almost like house settling noises. Yeah, like someone moving slowly through the house.
Yeah, or just the house settling. Like I can't tell.

Speaker 1 So I go into my parents' room and they had a,

Speaker 1 their closet had its own door on it.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I go to open the door. No, don't open it.
And

Speaker 1 it won't open. Like, it's like someone's pushing back on the door, Karen.

Speaker 1 And so I run out of the house, get into my car, I'm gonna cry, and drive to my old house because we, this was the house we moved into when I was in the city, uh, exactly.

Speaker 1 I moved, I drive out to, and this is also, um, you know what, maybe I wasn't going out because it was like late at night, it was like 11 o'clock at night.

Speaker 1 I go out to my old neighbor, Andy Withington's, and I wake him up. Him and his roommate, Craig, were like sleeping in this weird part of their house.
And I'm like, you, there's someone in my house.

Speaker 1 You have to come with me. I get them to come back to the house with me.
They're all like buoyed up. Yeah.
Yeah, let's check this shit out.

Speaker 1 We go in. We're looking around everywhere.
And then Andy goes to open that door, the bath, the closet door. And he opens it.
And it was like kind of stuck. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I was like, oh, that's probably what it was. And then as we're both standing, he's like, it was stuck.
You're so stupid. And And I'm like, oh, yeah.
And then I look up

Speaker 1 and there's one of those attic holes. Yeah.
And the attic whole thing is turned to the side.

Speaker 1 And I was just like, look, I just pointed up at him. And he's like, holy fuck.
And we ran out and called 911. Oh, my God.
And the Petalum police, because it's a tiny town, were there.

Speaker 1 Like, literally, like in two minutes, there was a cop walking in my backyard. Holy shit.
Like sneaking around. It was crazy.

Speaker 1 And then I had to give this whole thing and there was no one there and it was no one and it was nothing. And

Speaker 1 that's why they looked up in the attic, like they looked everywhere and it was nothing. It was something.

Speaker 1 It was so crazy and scary.

Speaker 1 Also because what in between the time where I thought someone was pushing back on my parents' closet door, jumping into the car and driving out to the country to get Andy Withington was like one of the scariest things I've ever done.

Speaker 1 Oh, because you're like, someone's following me or in my backseat. Or just what is happening?

Speaker 1 But that doesn't doesn't make okay.

Speaker 1 That doesn't make any sense that those, both those things happened together, especially the second part. Like, the only thing is the second part, it could have already been like that.

Speaker 1 And I just never knew. It was like one of those things you don't notice.

Speaker 1 So, what did your parents say? My dad's like, you need to take it easy.

Speaker 1 Of course. Thanks, Dad.
My dad's like, oh, drama. Oh, yeah.
Men fucking belittling women.

Speaker 1 This was the one that George just got.

Speaker 1 Militant.

Speaker 1 Are you ready for everything you could ever want in a murder story? Yeah. Because that's what I got right here from Lauren.
Cool.

Speaker 1 She said, okay, this may end up a little long, but it's totally worth it. I grew up in a small northwest suburb of Chicago.
My whole life, I've been hearing about the Colombo murders.

Speaker 1 It happened around the corner from the house I grew up in, but I wasn't born until 10 years later. Here it goes.

Speaker 1 In 1976, Patty Colombo and her loser boyfriend, DeLuca, broke into the home she grew up in and murdered her mother, father, and 13-year-old brother.

Speaker 1 The father, Frank, was shot by DeLuca and then bludgeoned with a bowling trophy by Patty. Ooh, that's symbolic.
That's not good. Patty's mom, Mary, was found cowering in the bathroom.

Speaker 1 She was shot between the eyes, which medical examiners said killed her before she even hit the floor. And then her throat was slit.
Oh, she's a little bit more. You know, just to be sure.

Speaker 1 Here's the most fucked up part. And this is bad.
because it's her 13-year-old brother.

Speaker 1 Her brother, Michael, 13, had slept through the initial attack, so Patty and her boyfriend, DeLuca, woke him up by shooting at him. Then Patty stabbed her brother 87 times with sewing scissors.

Speaker 1 Oh my God.

Speaker 1 When he was found, officers thought he had a case of the measles. But then they realized his measles were little gashes all over his body.
Holy shit.

Speaker 1 Patty and DeLuca then set the thermostat to 97, left the house. The bodies weren't found until three days later.

Speaker 1 When Patty was informed of the the murders, instead of rushing to their side, she started pointing fingers to potential leads and even tried to tie the mob.

Speaker 1 Chicago, what up?

Speaker 1 Tie in the mob. Sorry.
At the funeral, she was openly flirting with detectives who

Speaker 1 with a detective who was playing the role to make Patty crack. After more digging, they found a bunch of fucked up shit, like a film of Patty having sex with DeLuca's German show.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 oh, no. And then a dog cap she wrote: like, how does that even work?

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 no, no.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, Lauren. This is terrible.

Speaker 1 This is terrible. Keep going.
Keep going. Well,

Speaker 1 oh, so her boyfriend, Patty's boyfriend, was 36 and she was 16. Shut up.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Ew. And he was married with five kids.
What the fuck? Can you imagine? So I'm 36, married with five kids, dating a 16-year-old. 16-year-old.
All of that, including the kids, sounds impossible.

Speaker 1 Sounds so boring to me. Yep.
A 16-year-old, you'd be like, oh, aside from Pokemon Go, what do you like? Or like, aside from the shooting video game or virtual reaction? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Killing your family. Wearing neon pink sunglasses all the time.

Speaker 1 You were naming the other thing they like. Oh, yeah.
Killing your whole family. I was was just naming that.

Speaker 1 I mean, what more is there than me on pig sunglasses? Now she's a model prisoner who can't read. Patty is.
She's still in jail.

Speaker 1 What year? Oh, man. Fuck everything.

Speaker 1 Oh, they got indeterminate life sentences, which really means 200 to 300 years. Holy shit.
So good. A little justice got served there.

Speaker 1 Oh, she also rang up. She ran a prostitution ring in jail.
What? This woman sounds diabolical. She's like trying to take the devil's place.
Yeah. She's trying to out evil.

Speaker 1 Good God, that had. I mean, Lauren, when you said this

Speaker 1 is, it had everything you could ever want in a murder story. It had a lot of things I did not want.
Yeah. Did not want.
That's true. Have never wanted.
Totally. Okay.

Speaker 1 This one is from Mary, and it's called My Husband's Murder House.

Speaker 1 Hey, George and Karen, I've been binging on your podcast over the past two months on my drive to and from work.

Speaker 1 Since I tote my puppy with me so that I can drop him off at Donkey Daycare, he's been binge listening too.

Speaker 1 And his cute puppy face makes it easier to get through the more depressing parts of your podcast. Picture, please.

Speaker 1 You two are hilarious, though, and I feel much better trained to avoid ever getting murdered. Thanks.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So she has two murders. Let's just try this one and see if it's good enough to get to the second one.
The first took place at my husband's previous house, and he, my husband, met the the murderer.

Speaker 1 My husband sold his home near Columbus, South Carolina, to Shederick and Kia Miller, the sound made up, in 2012, about a year before we met.

Speaker 1 The couple appeared to be very happy and moved into the house with their two small children. Skip ahead a year or so.

Speaker 1 In January 2014, Shederick's mother hadn't heard from him in several days and went to his house to check on him.

Speaker 1 She found the two children, aged three and one, so sad, dead in their beds, and the couple dead in their bed just down the hall.

Speaker 1 According to the police investigation, the mother and two children had been shot in the head by the father-husband, and then Shederick turned the gun on himself and committed suicide.

Speaker 1 A little crazy to believe, especially since no one suspected anything was wrong with the family.

Speaker 1 They held Bible studies in their home, and church members said they didn't show any signs of having problems. Same from the neighbors.
What about holding Bible studies in your home?

Speaker 1 What about inviting people into your home? Like fucking psychopaths. Get out of my home.

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm getting my carpet clean, and I want to charge tomorrow, and I want to charge everyone who's ever been in my apartment to get my carpet clean. Oh, that's a good idea, isn't it? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'll give you like $7. Perfect.
Thank you. Stephen, you in for a couple bucks? I'll give you five.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Okay, let's see.

Speaker 1 Kia's sister came forward shortly after, though, and stated that Kia had talked to her about Sheterick's overbearing control of her, but that since he wasn't violent towards her, Kia thought she'd be okay.

Speaker 1 One positive of the story is that Kia's sister is now sharing her sister's abuse story and her own experiences in an abusive relationship with others in

Speaker 1 an effort to help women in the same situation. The other story is a little more unnerving for me, and a warning to single ladies to be very careful about who you get involved with.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 I don't have to read it. The other story is more unnerving than the story you just read.
I think, should I?

Speaker 1 You might as well. I mean, this is a

Speaker 1 fucking, yeah.

Speaker 1 This is a fucking shit show. This is that everything is going wrong.
Episode 42 is an abject failure. Yep.
It's called, this episode's going to be called abject failure, right?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 The victim, Jennifer Wilson, was my professor for a graduate course. And I want to express that she was an intelligent, compassionate, caring, and beautiful woman who I had the greatest respect for.

Speaker 1 I'm going to guess she's dead now, probably. I mean,

Speaker 1 anyways, and she just talks about something totally different.

Speaker 1 And the loss of her life impacted a lot of people. She was brutally killed by Hank Hayes

Speaker 1 in 2011. She had met Hank Hayes through a dating site and they dated on and off for a little while.
Hayes, H-A-W-E-S is Hayes. Or is that Hayes, right? How? Hate? H-A-W-E-S?

Speaker 1 Hawes. Hawes.

Speaker 1 Was a little obsessed with Jennifer, though, and not in a good way. I mean, one's a good way.
I mean.

Speaker 1 She picked up on this and made an effort to end their relationship, but he refused to let her move on. He would constantly text her and wouldn't leave her alone.

Speaker 1 He showed up to her home in the middle of the night one evening and attacked her. One of her neighbors heard her pleading for her life and called the police.

Speaker 1 When they arrived, Jennifer had been stabbed 12 times in her neck and upper body and had defensive wounds on her arms. Her body and hair had been cleaned.

Speaker 1 She was unclothed, wrapped in a duvet cover, and placed on her couch.

Speaker 1 Hawes was still in the home, his clothes soaked in blood, and he had slit his wrists in an attempt to commit suicide.

Speaker 1 He was tried for Jennifer's murder, and it only took the jury 30 minutes to determine he was guilty. He is currently serving a life sentence without parole.
Ugh, what a wretched man.

Speaker 1 Ladies, watch out for yourselves. Hug your puppies and cats and don't get murdered.
Thanks again for the awesome podcast. Mary.
I feel like I saw that story

Speaker 1 where the guys

Speaker 1 like on an ID channel, like some kind of stalking show. Yeah.
Because. Oh, yeah.
There's those stalked, awful stalking shows.

Speaker 1 I mean, they have every version of every horrible thing that's happened to people as a series. Philippe, did I Marry? I mean, that's a show.
What about swamp kin or something? Right. Or swamps.

Speaker 1 Swamp killers or something. Swamp killers.
Just

Speaker 1 only murders in swamps. Then they have just ones of siblings only.

Speaker 1 What else is there? People who have used mason jars only to kill people?

Speaker 1 Oh, you mean

Speaker 1 Martha Stewart murders?

Speaker 1 It's called the Shabby Chic murders.

Speaker 1 She thought she was classy, but she was just cheap.

Speaker 1 Turns out. She wanted a light stain on her old bookcase.
And that would be the end of her then. But instead, this stain was of blood on her carpet.

Speaker 1 It would be fun to be one of those

Speaker 1 voiceover people

Speaker 1 for the ID channel. Yeah.
Because you kind of talk like this, and then you talk like this. And the reality is.
And then it's scary down here. Everything's fine, and you're wonderable.
But then.

Speaker 1 But then you go into the basement. And something

Speaker 1 happens.

Speaker 1 Okay, we're back from a really solid set of hometowns in which one of them, yes, is definitely

Speaker 1 a creepypasta fake fucking story that I yeah, that happens. The thing is, we're not 14.
No. So we won't have our eye out for things like that.

Speaker 1 As soon as I was re-listening to it, I was like, how did I not know? He was not building a cage in the basement and called the cops and the cops. And like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 But it's not unreasonable because then I go on to tell the Todd Colup murder story, who is a person who kept women in

Speaker 1 basically in containers. Right.
What are those things called? Shipping containers. It's not out of the question.
That's a really good point. And I think what we learned is that at all.

Speaker 1 If anyone's sister-in-law said this is true, it's not true. We need it from like the source or like the next door neighbor, not the like,

Speaker 1 yeah, when it's too perfect a like plot with the details too perfectly creepy

Speaker 1 and it's not first person, yeah, or like some sort of once you can pin it here once removed, yeah, that's all we can do, right? We need to verify and we're supposed to trust, but we don't.

Speaker 1 That's how we do it over here. But there are some updates.
My second story was about the Colombo murders.

Speaker 1 The update is just that Frank DeLuca died in prison in 2023, and Patty Colombo is still in prison. She was just denied parole in 2024.
So, yeah, horrifying. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get into more hometowns.

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Speaker 1 Do you want to do one more? Are you doney?

Speaker 1 I mean, let's see. I think I marked one more.
Okay. Why don't you, let's see, why don't you?

Speaker 1 Why don't

Speaker 1 you? I've just found another one.

Speaker 1 Okay, here you go. Ready? Oh, this is.

Speaker 1 This is one that I got excited when I saw because

Speaker 1 we already talked about this

Speaker 1 firsthand. It says from Stephanie.
And the subject line is: the story is everything my favorite murder dreams/slash nightmares are made of. Hello, ladies.

Speaker 1 First and foremost, I love your podcast, and I can't get enough. I recently started listening and got my mom hooked too.
Yay! I'm pretty sure. Hi,

Speaker 1 I'm pretty sure my husband is deeply unsettled by this and doesn't understand my true crime fascination. I feel like those three, that's a trifecta.

Speaker 1 Someone finds it, they tell their mom their husband is freaked out by them. Yeah, that keeps happening.
Yeah, I love it. I think that's how great marriages are built.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, my hometown murder is probably something you've seen in the news recently, and it takes place mainly in Spartanburg, South Carolina. I say north, but it's south.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Todd Colehep has been charged with kidnapping Carla Brown or Kayla Brown, Cala, and keeping her chained by the neck and ankles for two months inside a metal storage container on his property.

Speaker 1 Did I mention Kayla lived down the street from me in Anderson, South Carolina? As if it wasn't horrifying enough. Turns out he's a full-fledged serial killer and a bunch of bodies

Speaker 1 and they found a bunch of bodies buried on his property. In 1987, Todd Kohlhep was convicted in Arizona for kidnapping and sexually assaulting a 14-year-old girl.

Speaker 1 He was only 15 at the time of the crime.

Speaker 1 Oh, I didn't see that. It's really nice when we talk vaguely about something and then someone comes in with the facts and fills them in for us.

Speaker 1 We don't even have to do any research. I love this.

Speaker 1 Kohlep served 14 years in prison for this crime and registered as a sex offender when he got out. He decided to resettle in South Carolina where he purchased 100 secluded acres of land.

Speaker 1 That's always a good sign. Red flag.
Red flag. Add that to the red flag list.

Speaker 1 It's long. Secluded acres of land.

Speaker 1 Over 10 secluded acres. You don't need it.
You don't need that many.

Speaker 1 I don't even know what that looks like. It's really big, and it's only for cows.
And so much containers. She said, can can he be any more murdery?

Speaker 1 How is he allowed to do this? I mean, I guess it wasn't near a school or park, but just furthers the case for staying out of the damn woods. He became a real estate agent.

Speaker 1 Oh, why does that, for some reason, that really bothers me. Because he's around people all the time, families, and this higher housing.
Yes. And houses.

Speaker 1 She was working for him. Oh.

Speaker 1 Eventually starting his own company and employing as many as 10 other agents. Do you have to disclose your sex offender status to your employees? If you're the boss, you probably don't, right?

Speaker 1 I don't know. So, how do you feel about working for? She's like writing a play.
So, how do you feel about working for a violent sex offender? Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah.
You should.

Speaker 1 You can just go on and live your normal life. I would think that you do have to notify.
He just didn't.

Speaker 1 I bet he, I bet it was on the record somewhere. So if you searched sex offenders in your area, he would come up.
But I bet he doesn't have to tell them if he's the boss. Right.

Speaker 1 Maybe kids, but then if kids, like your kid comes to this office,

Speaker 1 fuck, man. I mean, clearly, this guy wasn't fucking following the rules to begin with.

Speaker 1 And here's the thing: if you're, if you're, if you just got a new job, you want to check LinkedIn, you want to check

Speaker 1 sex offenders, the sex offenders registry. Yeah, just do it.
Just do it.

Speaker 1 Anyways, on August 31st, Kyle Brown and Charlie Carver, who live right up the street from me, went missing when they answered an ad for Colep to do some work, help cleaning up the property.

Speaker 1 When they arrived, he pulled a gun and took them hostage. He immediately shot and killed Charlie and buried him in a shallow grave next to where the shipping container.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she did. Where Cala was chained up for over two months.

Speaker 1 Two days after the couple went missing, Anderson County police started pinging Kyla's cell phone, which eventually led police to Colep's property. It took them two weeks to get a search warrant.

Speaker 1 They started with flyovers of the property before taking their search to the ground. Police eventually heard Kala pounding on the storage container and they found her unharmed.

Speaker 1 Shortly after Cala was rescued, police realized they were dealing with serial killer. They have since found three other bodies

Speaker 1 on the property. He also confessed to a 13-year-old case where four employees at a Spartansburg motorcycle shop were shot in the back in broad daylight with no witnesses.

Speaker 1 I mean, what in the actual fuck? Google it. There is a weird, there is, there is weird shit coming out daily on this guy.

Speaker 1 I am a transplant from Chicago and am seen often as the northern aggressor who won't say hi to anyone. But this further proves your argument of fuck politeness.
Apologize later.

Speaker 1 I do not need help with my groceries. I don't want to start small talk over my accent.
And thank you, Todd Colup, for ruining nature. Thanks for taking the time to read my story.

Speaker 1 Stay out of the woods. Stay sexy.
Don't get murdered.

Speaker 1 What the fuck? That was crazy. I wonder who the other bodies are.
And I want to look up that fucking shooting. I love when, like, okay, like the murder I know I'm going to do in Chicago.
Like,

Speaker 1 there's one or two, but these like huge crimes that people don't,

Speaker 1 like a mass shooting and people are like, how, like the yogurt shop murder. Yeah.
It's like, how the fuck do we still not know who did these? And then just some guy confesses and it's like, okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah. We would have never found this person.
Yeah. He has no links, no ties.
It's just some random person that's living to escape these evil things they've done. Totally.

Speaker 1 And moving away, like moving to South Carolina, moving to the countryside so that they, so that.

Speaker 1 I mean, at first when I, when this story broke and they were like, like we found a this kidnapped girl then it was like i was so happy for her you know like it's her life's gonna suck and be awful and hard to get through but she can get through it and i was when there's when there's a survivor story i'm so fucking relieved i'm happy but it's just not it's not

Speaker 1 i mean her boyfriend was killed next to her you know probably and as an intimidation thing for her and buried what a fucking i mean who knows who knows no it's hugely huge trauma and insane, but she did live.

Speaker 1 And that's totally. That's that is amazing because those are the stories.

Speaker 1 I mean, there's four other bodies on his property or three other bodies on his property and four people he killed in a motorcycle shop. She's so lucky.
I know. So lucky to be alive.
God bless her.

Speaker 1 As Karen would say,

Speaker 1 God bless her. God bless her.

Speaker 1 How long should we do one short one more and then and then have charity corner? Sure. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. This is called my hometown horror.
Horror.

Speaker 1 Hey, I'm new to your podcast. Nice work, by the way.
And I don't know if you're still wanting stories about hometown murders. Oh, we are.
But here's mine if you want it or not.

Speaker 1 I want you, Casey, I want you to be more confident. Casey, I feel like you feel very vulnerable sending in this murder.
Yeah. And we got you.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You don't need to make yourself small. No.
We're here with you. Celebrate good times.
Come on. Come on.
Come on.

Speaker 1 So Casey says, Back when I was about six or seven, something happened that shook our town to this day.

Speaker 1 A 17-year-old girl went out for a run on endless country roads in this area, dumbass, never run alone. Like, how do you not know that it was the 90s? Well, not surprisingly, she went missing.

Speaker 1 Years and years went by. Flash forward to 2010.
Another jogger finds this trash bag on the side of the road. For whatever reason, this weirdo decides to look into the bag.

Speaker 1 Inside works. It's like there's all victims.

Speaker 1 Everyone's a fucking idiot. Casey hates everybody.
She sounds like me.

Speaker 1 Inside were some of the remains of the woman dismembered and shoved into the bag. Upon further investigation, four more bags were found scattered around the country.

Speaker 1 County, not country, county, all containing the same woman's pieces. Fucking hell.
It was that girl that had gone missing in the 90s, grown up and fucking dismembered.

Speaker 1 Grown up. Wait.
The girl who was a teenager and went missing in the fucking 90s. Oh, this wasn't her teenage body.

Speaker 1 This was her growth. This is what it looks like.
Some fucked up fuck kidnapped that girl, held her for almost 20 years, murdered her. This is a sad ending to your last story.

Speaker 1 Then fucking dismembered her and threw her in the side ditch. Yep, that's what happened here.
Nothing had happened before that, and nothing has happened since.

Speaker 1 The fucker was never caught, and the poor family never got any answers. He lives in town, clearly, right?

Speaker 1 You wouldn't bring her all the way back to town. 20.
You look so sad. Well, I just don't.
I mean, I don't, I don't have a theory except for it's so dark. It's just like

Speaker 1 the 20 years.

Speaker 1 Horrible.

Speaker 1 But what really screws up my mind is that this rando kept this innocent girl alive somewhere close to this town for almost 20 years. That's where no one was able to find and save her.

Speaker 1 How terrible it must have felt to be her and not be able to get help for that long. Also, how sad for her family to realize that

Speaker 1 so awful. And then said, also, what possesses someone to hold someone hostage for that long and then all of a sudden kill them? What could have happened to make him snap and murder her after so long?

Speaker 1 Okay, I'll stop thinking about it and let you guys mull this over. Thanks.
Thanks. Thanks.

Speaker 1 Well, I mean,

Speaker 1 aren't these always the questions that come up that cannot be answered? It's the reason that everybody's interested in this stuff. And yeah, I mean, what kind of monster? What does he look like?

Speaker 1 Does he look like, have you seen pictures of Todd Kolop, the other guy? Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's really big. Yeah.
Like he's a very, very

Speaker 1 huge man. Yeah.
I just wonder, like, after 20 years, like, don't you get attached them to this, to your victim at some point? Not if you're a psychopath or psychopath. Right.
No way.

Speaker 1 Which you would have to be to do that. I mean, no, it's 20.
They found her adult body. I was not expecting that.
I thought maybe they would find her.

Speaker 1 Like, she had been kept somewhere as a dead teen body.

Speaker 1 It's just a new low. Poor sweet angel.
Poor sweet little. Oh, man.

Speaker 1 Well, we went up for a little while and then we just went right back down. Back down.
What do we expect? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Well, I feel just as awful. How about you? Yeah, I feel pretty bad.
Well, at the end of the show, now we're doing one good thing, saying one good thing that happened to us this week. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 What good thing happened to you this week? Nothing. But

Speaker 1 I want to say that I,

Speaker 1 Karen, we donated some money as my favorite murder. Oh.

Speaker 1 Today.

Speaker 1 So Brian Safi and Aaron Gibson from the Throwing a Shade podcast started posting on Instagram just screen grabs of the

Speaker 1 charities they were just donating to. And it was just like, just do this.
Just do it. Like they kept posting places that they were donating to.
And I was like, all right, you know what?

Speaker 1 I feel like shit. I'm going to try that.
So I did a couple and I did one as my favorite murder to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Great.
So we did that. That's one good thing.

Speaker 1 That's perfect. Right? That's a great thing.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Money counts. Spend your money wisely.
Yeah. And if you don't have money to give, just give blood or become a dough marrow

Speaker 1 transplant. I'm on the dough marrow transplant.
Are you a dough marrow? I'm a dough nerf. What did I say?

Speaker 1 Wow, I didn't even catch that. Done marrow?

Speaker 1 Shit, man. And can I point out I've been drinking water this whole time? Yeah, I'm so cold.

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm shit-based, but I'm just haven't been drinking it. You're just drinking water.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Bone marrow transplant donor list

Speaker 1 and blood.

Speaker 1 Try to give money. You're just like, give every possible thing.
Give it all away. You know what it is? Just try to do things for other people.

Speaker 1 That's actually, it really is something that makes people feel better is when you make human connection and you help out. Yep.
Be a helper. I think that's a great idea.

Speaker 1 It's also something that I have to say, like, I'm not that good at because I'm always like, time and oh, and it's pain or my comfort or whatever.

Speaker 1 I feel like that's something I would like to do better at, which is like, that's the whole idea of like volunteering is sacrifice and you're supposed to be kind of giving of yourself.

Speaker 1 It's supposed to be time off of your couch where you're not comfortable. Yeah.
That's the whole idea. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, go, go,

Speaker 1 you guys, go do something good for someone. Yeah, and it'll make you feel better about how fucked up everything is, right?

Speaker 1 Is that how it happens? Right, let us know if it works. Yeah, hey, Elvis, come in here.

Speaker 1 Um, thanks for listening, you guys. We hope, uh, we hope, you know, we have hope.
Uh, stay sexy and don't get murdered, Elvis.

Speaker 1 Do you want a cookie?

Speaker 1 Come on, man.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 Mimi, you want a a cookie? Mimi. No.
Mom, Mimi, you want to be my friend? Elvis, cookie. Hi.
Cookie.

Speaker 1 Cookie.

Speaker 1 All right. Where do I think I heard him? Cookie.

Speaker 1 I mean, see, we cookie. Yeah, there.
Yeah, here it comes. Here it goes.
Elvis, you want a cookie?

Speaker 1 You want kindly. You want a cookie?

Speaker 1 Take your time.

Speaker 1 Well, now you're going to have to wait for a cookie. Yeah.
Just kidding.

Speaker 1 Cookie.

Speaker 1 Cookie. He's like, yeah.
All right. Bye.

Speaker 1 Bye.

Speaker 1 Okay, we're back. So, Karen, any updates? The update is just that the story was still unfolding when I was talking about it in this 2016 episode.

Speaker 1 400 episodes later, I do the deep dive, which is the super bike murders case in episode 458. It's called The Demands Are Incredible, that episode.

Speaker 1 And you get the entirety of the story, which is actually kind of cool that, like, the story had just broken of finding Kayla Brown on his property.

Speaker 1 And then this is basically like, now here's everything they know. That was wild.
Including a cold case. Yeah, totally.
That was a great story.

Speaker 1 You did a great job in that one. Thank you.
That is episode 458. So,

Speaker 1 I mean, abject failure is a pretty great name for this episode. So perfect.
But a couple other options in case, because we always need options. Like you said, you called it greetings corner.
Um,

Speaker 1 meeting people at the acupuncturist or made well or whatever.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Then we could also call it bloated as a balloon about sugary gummy bears, those dreaded things.

Speaker 1 Forever. I mean, that should be the title just because that was the episode.
Bloated as a balloon. It was a diarrhea episode.
There's also Justin at timberlake.com, which was your joke about

Speaker 1 it's a famous person's email. That is so funny.

Speaker 1 Oh my gosh. And also, what about the lesson of we've been through this before?

Speaker 1 People stick together and keep their heads on straight. Like people are coming out and showing up and rising up.
And it's really amazing to see. So all is not lost.
Yep. Love it.
Thanks for listening.

Speaker 1 And we will talk at you soon. Stay sexy.
And don't get murdered.

Speaker 1 Goodbye.

Speaker 1 Elvis, do you want a cookie?

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