479 - No Bangs

This is exactly right.

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Hello!

And welcome to my favorite murder.

That right there is Georgia Hardstar.

And that, folks, is Karen Kilgareff.

And we, together, ladies and gentlemen, are here to podcast.

Have you heard of podcasting?

It's all the rage these days.

People love it.

Everyone's doing it.

Everyone has multiples, you know.

And why not do it?

Why not get on a mic and just talk it through?

Yeah, it's the podcast singularity, guys.

And you're part of it.

You're part of it by just listening.

Wait a second.

I just had one of those galaxy brain moments.

What if podcasts are the singularity which then birthed humanity?

And that's why we are who we are.

We're just the results of other people's podcasts on like

either either a different planet.

Well, it was just one big podcast loop.

It's podcast loop.

And

we've gotten to the oversaturation of podcasts and now I have to start fucking the cycle all over again.

I'll get reborn.

That's right.

Go through the Industrial Revolution, figure out a way to like.

rate the radio, all this shit, the terrestrial.

I'm super broke.

I don't know how to get a job that pays enough.

Right.

And then we go to podcasting

all over again.

And then careers.

we've solved it and it feels great to live in the solution now that's what i like about it the solutionarity now

can i tell you the ultimate compliment that my little cousin anna gave me this morning yes

she called me because last night she watched the movie the shining and she needed to talk through the trauma that she experienced by watching that

she's 20

she's 20 okay cute she used to be the little baby of the family until nora was born and then she basically spent all her time time kind of actively hating Nora until they were like,

you know, a little bit older.

And then now they're all best friends, very cute.

That's what sisters are.

Exactly.

And Nora never felt it or cared, or she was always like, I love them.

It didn't matter to her.

But anyway, she's the best.

And she gave me the best compliment.

She said, I watched this movie and it reminded me of you.

Come play with us, Danny.

There's Auntie Karen.

Karen.

Right?

She goes, you're a real burnt orange in my mind.

The color palette.

Yeah.

I was like, lovely, Anna.

Thank you.

This means the world to me.

Huge compliment.

Yeah.

I was with my mom last night and she starts talking about, I said something and she goes, well, I heard from a true crime podcast that you have to not be put.

And it's like, I got really mad.

And I was like, what true crime podcast are you listening to?

She goes, yours.

She meant mine.

But I was so like jealous.

You were ready.

I was like, Who?

You're not even into, she's not even into true crime.

Like, what?

That's so fun.

So, basically, Janet's getting on the train.

Well, she's misinterpreting our like, she meant politeness.

Like, she meant that we talk about that, but she got it wrong because she doesn't listen, which is for the best.

What did she think it meant?

She said, like, be mean or some like misinterpretation.

Sure, that works too.

That works too.

She goes, not like I, I mean, I've always been mean, but it's kind of like,

oh, Jan.

I was like, oh, if she started listening now, she's got some real surprises ahead.

We all do.

I mean, hey.

Once she starts listening, that's when time implodes.

Black hole.

Yeah.

Fucking cut to the beginning.

Big bang.

That's the kind of the final Easter Island head that falls as Janet pressing play on this podcast.

Incredible.

Can't wait.

Well, should I do a story in Janet's honor?

Let's.

And Janet will finally understand what we're doing over here.

She won't because this is not a true crime story.

So she'll get it.

Interesting.

But she'll remember it and she'll, yeah, it's from her time, you know, of life, which is, you know, the late 1900s.

Janet.

Mid to late 1900s.

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Okay, so I'm just, I'm going to tell you.

I'm fucking telling you the story.

Just kick it off.

We never do this.

Just kick it off.

Yeah.

This is a fucking Apollo 13 mission story.

We don't need no fucking preamble.

Wow.

Yeah.

Okay, great.

Right?

Did you watch the movie?

I can't remember.

It's the 1995 blockbuster starring Bill Paxton, Kevin Bacon, and Tom Hanks, who famously was the one who said, Houston, we have a problem.

That's like the iconic line.

Right.

Space makes me very anxious, so this should be great.

Oh, okay, it does.

Like, you're not.

Yes, you're not a fan of like being in a spaceship or being in like both of those things.

It's just vast.

I remember having very long, deep thoughts about it as a child: of like, so you're telling me it just goes on and on in blackness forever, and there's no ending, and no one knows what's out there.

Like, it was that kind of shit.

I'm like, I don't like that at all.

I don't like not knowing what's happening out there.

so tell me about it like tell me about the bad thing that happened out there i feel like this let me tell you about the one of the worst it's not one of the worst but this is like an episode about black holes in space and stuff cool the space-time continuum okay the main sources i used in today's story include articles from nasa's website including apollo 13 mission details with no author listed

and Apollo 13, The Successful Failure by Lee Mahone.

And then another article from the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum's website titled Conserving the Creativity That Saved the Apollo 13 Astronauts by Lauren Gottschlick.

And other sources can be found in our show notes.

So here we are in 1961.

And in response to the ongoing space race between Russia and the US, that you're like such a big fan of.

Huge fan.

President John F.

Kennedy makes the US moon landing a priority goal.

And the attempts begin with Project Mercury, which succeeds in placing several astronaut crews into Earth's orbit between 62 and 63.

Then there's Project Gemini, fucking go Gemini's.

And that successfully sends a total of 16 astronauts, U.S.

astronauts, into low Earth orbit between 65 and 66.

So we're like getting going, you know?

Yeah.

But then in 1969, Kennedy's goal is finally reached when, you know, the story.

Is it true?

That's not what this is about.

When Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin complete the first successful moon landing aboard Apollo 11, blah, blah, blah.

The moon.

We made it.

We made it.

You know, the moon landing, blah, blah, blah.

Blase, blase.

Yeah.

Was it a fucking soundstage in Burbank?

We'll never know.

We'll never know.

Or they'll know 40 years in the future and it won't matter.

That's true.

A second moon landing happens.

And then now that that journey to the moon has been completed twice with no really big issues, NASA is confident they can focus the astronauts' energies now on acquiring some new scientific data with this third moon landing.

So, before they were just like posing for pictures and shit, now it's like, let's get down to science.

Let's really dig some of that moon dirt up and figure out what's on there.

Snort a big old rail of moon dust and see what happens.

So, the three astronauts training for the Apollo 13 mission: James A.

Lovell Jr., John Jack L.

Swiggart Jr., and Fred W.

Hayes Jr.

And they are armed with some geological training so that they can collect those rock samples, bring them home to Earth for their study.

The mission's insignia highlight this goal with the Latin phrase, ex luna scientia, or from the moon, knowledge.

So, like, let's study that shit.

So, on this 10-day mission, Lowell, Swiggert, and Hayes will journey to the Fra Moro region of the moon, and there they'll retrieve rock samples.

So, there are two major components of the spacecraft built for the Apollo 13 mission: there's the command service module, module, which is called the Odyssey, and the lunar module, which is called Aquarius.

Odyssey is where the astronauts are housed and control the entire spacecraft.

And then the service module is where the fuel and power sources are stored.

And then the lunar module is the parts that's going to detach and land on the moon while the other person stays back and, you know, controls it.

Okay.

So a graduate of the U.S.

Naval Academy, 42-year-old James Lovell, has logged 572 hours of spaceflight prior to the Apollo 13 mission, making him the most traveled astronaut at this time.

While 38-year-old Jack Swiggert hasn't yet flown to space before, so he's got a deep knowledge of how the spacecrafts are built.

He earned a degree in mechanical engineering and aerospace science, so fucking super smart.

But a baby in terms of

experience.

Wow.

Yeah.

35-year-old Fred Hayes also has a military background, having served in the Marines as a fighter pilot.

He studied aeronautical engineering and was working as a civilian research pilot for NASA when he joined the astronaut rank in the same group as Swigert did in 1966.

So they're all buds.

So let's get to the launch.

So it's 2:13 p.m.

Eastern Standard Time on April 11th, 1970, and the Apollo 13 spacecraft lifts off from Kennedy Space Station in Florida.

The team of flight directors, who are like the flight controllers, who communicate with the crew, oversee operations from their station at Mission Control in Houston, Texas.

Okay.

Okay.

Are you having a hot flash?

I think I'm having a fucking hot flash.

Oh my God.

I didn't even think about it.

Oh no.

Holy shit.

It sucks so bad.

Oh my God.

I'm totally, wow.

That was like the first time I realized I'm having a hot flash when I wasn't sleeping.

You might have to go change into a tank top.

Oh my God.

Okay.

So the first five and a half minutes.

or so go smoothly, which is not enough time for a fucking space flight to go smoothly.

Like, that's nothing.

Yeah.

You need, I don't know, a solid hour if you're going into space.

A couple days, maybe.

Let's go.

Yeah.

Everyone on board feels a minor vibration from deep within the vessel, and they discover that one of the engines meant to get them up towards the atmosphere has shut off two minutes early.

This forces the remaining engine to burn 34 seconds longer than planned, but all goes well.

And the Apollo 13 aircraft enters orbit safely despite this little hiccup, but foreshadowing, baby.

Bad omen.

Yeah.

So the journey to the moon is expected to be about three days at 46 hours and 43 minutes in.

Capsule communicator or Capcon Joe Kirwan down in Houston reports that the spacecraft is in real good shape as far as we're concerned and actually says that they're bored to tears down there.

Like that's how well it's going.

It's just fine that they're not worried in any way.

Yeah.

So now let's fast forward to the third day.

We're 55 hours into the journey.

The crew conduct a routine inspection of the lunar module.

Then they take the lone TV camera crew through a lighthearted tour of space.

The other moon landings that have happened before have been like big freaking deals.

This one is less so.

And the general public at this point is like yawn, basically.

We've seen it, which is great.

But also, the Vietnam War is going on, so people are a little more concerned with other stuff.

And because of the limited broadcast levels, wife Marilyn watches her husband from a VIP room at Mission Control.

What kind of snacks were there is all I want to know.

I mean, can I just say

pieces of celery?

What do you say?

Tiny sandwiches?

Tiny sandwiches, the celery with like cream cheese and some sprinkled stuff on the top.

Yeah.

60s appetizes.

Martinis.

So many martinis.

So many martinis.

And cigarettes.

Oh my God.

Everyone was smoking.

Chain smoking.

And that just increases as the stress begins.

Yeah.

Okay, so the broadcast ends at the 55-hour, 46-minute mark of the journey.

All systems operational and the crews on both the ground and aboard the spacecraft are in good spirits.

But then just 95 seconds later at 9.08 p.m., a loud bang rattles the ship.

Maybe a loud meow would be the only acceptable loud noise.

Maybe a loud yawn.

A loud yawn.

Please, no bangs on the ship.

No bangs.

On the ship.

No.

For once in my life, I'm saying no bangs.

I'm talking about my hair.

Swiggert sees a warning light in the vessel's control center that worries him.

He radios to ground control and delivers the line that would define the rest of the journey.

Houston, we have a problem.

A problem.

Famous.

The movie is pretty good, though, if you guys feel like watching a vintage movie, Apollo 13.

And then a flurry of warning lights flash on the ship's controls.

Two of the three fuel cells used to power the ship are fucking dead.

Two out of three.

Oh.

Not good.

I don't know.

Two days into the trip.

Yeah.

Am I right?

Three days.

Three days into the trip.

You run out of gas in space.

Your engines fucking die.

And that cuts off most of their electricity.

And then another set of warning lights indicate that one of their two oxygen tanks has emptied completely and the second one is draining fast.

So as the astronauts scramble to troubleshoot the problems, Commander Level glances out the window on his left to see that they are venting something out into space, basically, just like the gas is leaving the fucking ship.

Unfortunately, that gas is the command module's oxygen supply.

So the ship they're in, it's the oxygen supply for that ship that they're in.

And so it gets dangerously low.

And about an hour and a half after the bang, ground control and commander Lovell reach the same conclusion.

If they're going to survive, they all have to transfer over to the lunar module, which was just supposed to go down to the moon.

Right.

So with just 15 minutes of power left aboard the command module, Lovell and Hayes make their way to the lunar module.

Swiggert races against the clock to finish up last minute duties and shut down the command module.

He manages to do so just in the nick of time, slipping into the lunar module as the last wisps of oxygen leave the second bank.

So they just have to completely abandon ship.

It's in space.

In space.

In the middle of space.

Also, you know, like you're on like a southwest flight and the captain comes on and he's so drab and he's so like, look, here we're going up to Oakland.

Everything's fine.

And so like these people are professionally calm.

Yeah.

But then in this situation, it's like, is this what rattles a pilot?

Is this what gets, you know,

a guy like that kind of worked up?

Because to say Houston, we have a problem.

I mean, it's almost like this is what they're trained for is to stay calm in a situation like this.

But like they hopefully and usually don't ever have a reason to test that.

Yes.

Right.

And yeah, exactly.

They would assume they would be, but now they know whether or not they are.

Here it is.

I think my thing, I would just go blank and kind of lock up and I wouldn't help anything.

I would just be like sitting there and they'd be like, come on, pick up those things.

What are we going to do?

What are we going to do?

What are we going to do?

Over and over again.

I mean,

terrifying.

But guess what?

It only gets worse.

Oh.

So now, obviously, the moon landing is fucking 86 to you.

We're going to flake on that.

Right.

We're going to flake on that.

Their mission now is to get.

home safely and their only chance at doing so is by all of them cramming into this lunar module.

There are some positives in the situation.

First is that the lunar module does not appear to have been damaged in whatever explosion it was that took place.

Second is that the lunar module has plenty of oxygen to sustain everyone on their journey back home.

So yay for that.

Very important.

Yeah, oxygen.

So, however, there are some pretty severe drawbacks because one of the astronauts was always meant to stay back in the command module while the other two went down to, you know, it's called the moon.

The moon.

Yeah.

It's only built for two people, so it's tight.

And while there's plenty of oxygen for all three men, the food and water supply in the lunar module is only meant to last 45 hours for the two people.

And a trip home will take them about 90 hours.

So a trip home is going to be three fucking days.

Just like back-to-back spooning with your workmates,

gasping for air.

Right.

Thirsty.

Thirsty.

Exactly.

So they have to do strict rationing.

Same with the power supply.

There's only enough battery to last 45 hours.

So they have to shut down any non-essential operations so they have enough power to get back to Earth.

But it is doable.

So, basically, they had brought extra canisters of oxygen over from the command module, but they don't fit into the filters on the lunar module.

They're like not made to be switched back and forth.

So, the abundance of oxygen itself creates another issue because that means, as we learned in science class, too many plants.

Right.

Moss growing everywhere.

Exactly.

No, too much carbon dioxide, which is dangerous.

The spacecraft has special lithium hydroxide canisters that remove the carbon dioxide from the air and keep it safe to breathe on board.

But again, the canister supply they have is only meant to last for about two days for two people.

So back at square one.

They have brought extra canisters over from the command module, but they were not made for the lunar module, so they don't fit.

It's like putting a...

a square peg in a round hole.

So a day and a half into their escape to the lunar module, on April 15th, 1970, a warning light signals a dangerous level of CO2.

They're running out of time.

Outside, inside.

Constant.

Everything's against them.

Yeah.

Because everything has to be tested at mission control before it can be put to use in the spacecraft because you can't test shit on the spacecraft.

It'll blow up.

Engineers down in Houston quickly work to devise a solution.

They communicate with the astronauts on board.

They kind of figure out what they have to use.

And then on the ground, the engineers, these smart people, put together a device using whatever items items they said they had, a plastic bag, cardstock, a space suit hose, and duct tape.

Like, this is MacGyver.

But they were MacGyvering from Houston to tell them you can do this to fix it.

Like, based on what you have.

It's like when someone's like, what do you have in your fridge?

And I'll tell you what to cook for dinner.

But your life depends on it.

I am, no joke, super stressed out right now.

You are.

This is stressing me out.

Yes.

That's why I had a hot flash, I think.

Because you knew what was coming.

I knew it.

And I had to tell it without sounding stupid because I know there's people who are very smart listening right now who are fucking laughing.

Look, this is exactly what happened to me with Jack the Ripper in London.

I was like, why did I pick this?

Everyone here knows how this actually goes.

Right.

Like, there has to be a list.

What are you even doing right now?

Are you in space listening?

Like, that would be.

Do you work at JPL and are you judging us?

Because

we hope you understand that we are not cosmologists

doing this in any way.

We're not even cosmetologists.

Like, we're not even.

I would love to be.

God.

I went to three months of beauty school, so I basically am.

Your bangs look great, by the way.

Thank you.

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Liz went from being interested in true crime to living true crime.

My husband said, your dad's been killed.

This is Hands Tied, a true crime podcast exploring the murder of Jim Melgar.

I was just completely in shock.

Liz's father murdered, and her mother found locked in a closet, her hands and feet bound.

I didn't feel real at all.

More than a decade on, she's still searching for answers.

We're still fighting.

Listen to Hands Tied on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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So they figure out what it's going to be based on all these mismatched parts.

They name it the mailbox because it's like a boxy thing they put together.

Okay.

They didn't have a lot of time to workshop names.

So

don't waste time on that.

That's going to be fun.

You're going to want to distract yourself by doing that.

Yeah.

Hold for name is not something you can tell people in an emergency situation.

So they build it on the ground, then the engineers at mission control walk the astronauts through how to put it together.

They demonstrate how to use it once it's put together.

And this is all while warning lights are flashing, indicating the increasingly dangerous levels of CO2 on board.

So like, you know, know, when your phone's running out of batteries and it turns red and you get stressed out, it's like that times a thousand.

That in space.

And you might die in space.

The air becomes harder to breathe as the astronauts work diligently to connect the makeshift device, and luckily it works.

The CO2 levels start to drop, and the lunar module becomes livable again.

Thank you, mailbox.

Yeah.

Was it funny that Tom Hanks would later be in a movie called You've Got Mail?

And is there any connection there?

Is it before or after this?

I think it's before.

Or in a movie about living at the airport.

Right.

That's not related.

Oh, they're airport.

It's close enough.

They're both going in the same fucking direction.

Who is Tom Hanks lately?

Let's just change this into talking about Tom Hanks.

So I don't have to listen to how stressful this is.

Love him.

And this is even more impressive because not only is this like fucking dead battery light flashing, which is not dead battery, they're subsisting on next to nothing while they work.

Their water ration is only six ounces of water a day.

So if you think of like a shot of vodka,

it's like an ounce, you know?

So six ounces, six shots of water.

I need more.

I need like the tallest weird plastic cup with a straw.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

There's a little fruit juice as well, but the lack of proper hydration even gives Hayes a UTI, which just to be like a team player, I have one too right now.

Just, I was doing the story and I was like, you know what?

I'm going to go ahead and wake up Saturday morning with a fucking UTI just to be supportive.

That is.

Yeah.

First of all, I didn't know boys could get UTIs.

That really sucks.

Yeah.

They are the worst.

The worst.

They're the worst.

How fucking horrible is that?

So I add a UTI to this nightmare.

Yeah.

Like, come on.

And then someone gets pink eye.

Right.

The lack of food isn't great either.

They avoid eating as much as possible so they don't burn through their supply.

But when they do eat, it's things like hot dogs, which isn't very nourishing, even though we love them.

It's a snack.

Not a meal.

A lot of nitrates.

Right.

Right.

And various unappetizing wet pack foods, the kind that like won't spoil in space.

So nothing fucking great.

No one's having

life.

No.

No one's looking forward to their meal time.

Right.

It's sustenance.

It's all it is.

And they actually can't avoid rapid weight loss for the next couple of days.

So they lose a fucking ton of weight that quickly.

Yeah.

So even worse than the dehydration and starvation is the intense cold because they have to keep non-essential systems powered off.

So there's nothing heating the interior of the lunar module and temperatures drop as low as 38 degrees.

So you weren't fucking joking about the spooning.

Like that's got to happen probably.

Jesus Christ.

I know.

Like miserable.

Like think of the worst flight you've ever been on.

This is the worst.

Obviously.

This is some tower air shit right here.

Yeah.

This ain't good.

And because the temperatures are so low and it's so cramped it's almost impossible to sleep so they're exhausted they're delirious there's just so much shit going on i relate entirely

i just don't know why i thought of this but they're probably all also chain smokers so they're not having cigarettes i don't know why i thought of that but are astronauts allowed to smoke i doubt it i think they're not no lung capacity what if that was actually the reason that this all happened is someone like flick their cig and then

kaboom also Also, but there were people too, like those guys are so smart.

And they, you know, those are big brain people that even back then, they might have been like, yeah, I don't smoke.

Yes.

They may have been.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That would make sense.

They have to be at the top of their game and breathe in space.

You're not going to like,

yeah.

Okay.

So Lovell Hayes and Swiggert have just one more obstacle standing between them and their safe return.

It's a big one.

It's just navigating home to Earth.

Because remember that moon module, you're supposed to to go to the moon and then back.

It doesn't know how to get home.

It's not supposed to fucking go home on its own.

Oh, oh, at all.

Oh, no.

On its own, because it's supposed to be attached to the bigger guy.

Yeah.

You know?

Right.

So, but yeah, so its navigation system isn't equipped to handle finding its way back to Earth.

Like, they're fucked in a lot of ways and they fucking know it, probably.

Yeah.

Their best shot at getting back to Earth is to enter what's called a free return trajectory.

Here's your fucking worst nightmare.

Basically, they have to go around the moon and get into a path where gravity can guide them back to Earth without them needing to control the flight.

So they're

relying on gravity.

But because they were on a moon landing mission, they had positioned themselves in a hybrid trajectory, which basically means they left the free return course so that they could land in a specific spot on the moon.

Now, without the proper navigational system to maneuver back into a free return trajectory, the astronauts are forced to rely on mission control to map out their course.

So they're all working together.

And if they do, if they accidentally land on the moon, that's that, right?

Like

I would imagine.

Yeah.

But if they burn the lunar module engines at the right times in the right direction, they can kind of just basically push themselves on the right course, but also without burning through their fuel supply.

Jesus.

Like this is impossible.

Like the more you hear about this, it's insane.

So basically, they're forced to use the sun's position to help achieve a proper alignment of the spacecraft.

It's risky because a blast in the wrong direction would send them fucking hurling past Earth into the great unknown, Karen's worst nightmare.

I don't like that.

Forever

going.

Forever with chopped lips.

Oh, just

chopping.

God damn it.

God damn it.

But mission control guides their calculations and fortunately puts them on the right track.

Like geniuses.

If we had like one or two IQ points lower, this not like none of this would have worked out.

Thank you, smart people.

Appreciate you.

Using only the sun puts them off by half a degree, which is still within the margin of error to get them home.

As they approach Earth, the astronauts get word from mission control that the only way to successfully break through the atmosphere is by once again powering up the command module so that they can detach the lunar module from it.

So this whole time they've been attached to the broken command module.

Yeah.

So basically,

there's all these issues with that.

So the damage and the cold to the command module led to condensation buildup on the interior walls of the command module and behind the control panels.

And so the condensation from that is so thick that as the ship descends to Earth, it appears like it's raining inside the module.

Fun.

What the fuck?

All of that moisture threatens to short-circuit the command module's electrical board, which would be catastrophic at this phase.

But because of years of development from the earliest Apollo aircraft models, there are safeguards in place that prevent any short-circuiting.

But even still, writing up the procedures necessary to start up that dead command module mid-flight so that they can detach it could take as long as three months.

Like that's how long they need to figure out a way to do it, even with their big brains.

But the engineers at mission control managed to do it in just three days.

So they're just like, let's figure this out.

Let's get a lot of uppers and fucking do this.

Get one of those really big chalkboards that almost nobody uses but us.

Right.

Get it going.

The astronauts follow the procedures as instructed and they successfully get the command module on and working again.

And this allows them to detach the lunar module from it so that they can land in the Pacific Ocean, which is a splashdown landing a safe distance from the damaged.

command module because they can't land near it.

It'll fucking crash into it.

Right.

So even though they managed to get on the right trajectory back to Earth, Lovell, Swiggert, and Hayes soon realize that their spacecraft is drifting slightly off course.

Mission control directs them to follow the like day-night line, basically.

Basically following like the sun's light on the Earth's surface to stay on course.

I'd be dead.

I'd be like, no, can't do that.

Basic Boy Scout stuff that I could not do.

No, no.

They use what fuel they have left to initiate the burns necessary to follow the line, like the little cranking out of the burns.

And on April 17th, 1970, the Apollo 13 spacecraft splashes down into the Pacific Ocean near Samoa, and they're recovered by the naval ship USS Iwo Jima, weary but all still alive.

Oh

God,

I know.

I mean, we're not even talking about all the things that could have happened splashing down.

Totally.

Just the great wide open ocean.

Jesus.

Yeah.

Due to lack of food, the three guys lost a total of 31 and a half pounds combined

in a couple days.

Like that is bad.

And also stress.

It's like food plus stress.

Like your total.

Their hearts were probably racing like they were jogging the whole time.

Right.

And dehydration and lack of sleep.

Lovell lost the most at a whopping 14 pounds.

And then two days later on April 19th, 1970, the guys are flown to Hawaii.

I mean, give them a fucking vacay, right?

Oh, Jesus.

And President Richard Nixon awards them the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

This is the highest civilian honor equal to the Congressional Gold Medal.

So they're like, good job.

Oops.

You did it.

You did it.

An investigative review board immediately looks into the situation after the splashdown, trying to figure out what went wrong.

They report their findings on June 15, 1970, concluding that a short circuit error in one of the oxygen tanks led to the explosion.

There was a recent modification to the tank that allowed it to handle a higher electrical voltage, but the engineers failed to update another part within the tank so that it could handle the increased electrical flow as well.

This led to an explosion in one oxygen tank that damaged the fuel cells and compromised the other oxygen tank.

How many people got fired?

None or a lot?

I mean, here's the thing.

A mistake, like human beings make mistakes.

Whether you're the smartest fucking person on the planet and you work for NASA or you're down at Burger King flipping burgers, mistakes are a part of life.

Totally.

And I hope it wasn't like, because I bet you they felt fucking terrible.

Sure.

Nobody wants to be that guy.

I mean, no one died.

Thank fucking God.

Thank God.

But yeah, nobody wants to be the guy that's like, oh, that's right.

We should have done A, B, C, D, E, F, G, N, H, and I.

I mean, like,

it's

God.

Not God.

I mean, neither Lovell, Hayes, or Swiggert ever fly.

in space again.

Oh, can you believe it?

That's crazy.

What's their problem?

But it's it's actually not necessarily because directly because of the mishap aboard the Apollo 13, although you think it's got to factor in pretty fucking hardcore.

Yeah.

You know, Lovell reaches a point in his career when he's ready to retire, and he does so just a couple of years later in 1973.

Swiggart is slated to fly aboard the joint Soviet-American spaceflight, the Apollo-Soyuz test project in 1975, but he's removed from the crew after being implicated in the Apollo 15 postal cover scandal of 1972.

What?

Which is probably the thing we're going to cover on this?

That's exactly right because I don't totally get it.

It's a scheme involving taking unauthorized postal covers into space so that they could be sold at premium back on Earth afterward.

Oh.

Oh, I get it.

Okay.

They're like this bin to space.

Totally.

It's totally merched.

Oh my God.

He leaves the space program in 1973, gets elected to the House of Representatives in 1982.

And fortunately, yeah, he dies from cancer before he gets a chance to even serve his seat.

And then Hayes would have gone on to command the Apollo 19 mission, but he decided to retire before then in 1979.

So none of them go back to.

I mean, just think about it.

You get into that situation.

You, by the skin of your teeth, get back out of that situation.

And then you're like, sure, I'll do another one.

And all you would do is think about all the ways things could go wrong.

That's what happens after things go wrong is then you're like, well, that can happen.

So what's going to happen this time?

Yeah.

Did one guy not check the one other thing that was the other thing that controls the other thing?

You'll never fucking know until it's a disaster.

And that is the miracle of space flight is the fact that the other times we did it, none of those things happened.

Totally.

Totally.

Amazing.

In 1994, Lovell co-authors his first-hand account of the Apollo 13 mission with journalist Jeffrey Kluger in their book, Lost Moon, The Perilous Voyage of Apollo 13.

And that is the book that is adapted into the beloved Ron Howard-directed movie Apollo 13,

which solidified the line, Houston, We Have a Problem in Our Memories Forever.

And also

the movie from 2016, Hidden Figures, starring Taraji P.

Henson as Catherine Johnson.

So she was a black woman and mathematician who worked at NASA, and her work helped get Apollo 13 back home safe.

Yeah.

Her badassery.

And the movie is based on the book Hidden Figures by Margot Lee Shutterly.

So check that out as well for more of this story.

That movie is really, really good because it's like, you just keep watching it going, this really happened.

Like this really happened.

And that idea that like she was the most brilliant person separate from her gender, separate from, you know, her skin color or whatever.

And then she's kind of sat in this room where a bunch of dudes are like, you shouldn't be here.

And then she's like, watch how much I should be here.

I'm going to fucking help save everybody.

It's such a good movie.

It's fucking incredible.

Incredible.

Yeah, I loved it.

Just real quick, do you remember when we did CBS show in New York and Ron Howard was the guest before us?

And he walked through and said, and looked at us.

And I was like, oh my God, it's Ron Howard.

And he walked through and we were the next guest.

Yes.

And looked at us and goes, hey, good luck.

Or have fun.

And like took a moment to like like hype us, give us a little thumbs up where I was like, you classy bastard.

So fucking classy.

Totally forgot about that.

Rushed right out of here.

Like you are so busy.

And instead, it was like full eye contact and like with this smile, like, hey, isn't it fun?

We all get to be on this show.

Just these two girls sitting in the green room going like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

And he was just like,

good luck, guys.

Have fun.

Oh, my God.

Uncle Ron.

Thank you.

I love that man.

I've always loved that man since my happy days days in my childhood, but that was like, God, that was meaningful.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So classy.

But guess what?

What?

And that is the story of the Apollo 13 mission.

Amazing.

I mean, we really went through it on that one.

I think I've lost 13 pounds by just sitting here and listening to this

shit.

I had my first known hot flash and on record.

On record where it wasn't asleep for it so it's pretty efficient i think we need to actively start talking about menopause on our show because a people don't talk about it enough and b it is happening it is happening are we going to alienate the little gals who are like what are you talking about my tits are perky and

i don't know what else is there and i don't sweat randomly for no reason but here's the thing they will eventually they will and that's the that's like no one talks about this shit.

And so when you come to it, you're like, I think I'm in a bad mood.

I think I'm, I think the heater's on.

I think this and I think that, because there is no hygiene class in high school that talks about it.

There's nothing.

Let's talk about hormones.

And just to like calm everyone down, my tits are still very perky.

Oh my God.

You should see.

They're almost above her eyes.

It's crazy.

Very distracting.

I'm hitting myself in the face.

That was great.

Good job.

That was really cool.

Thank you.

Well, thanks for listening to our little quickie episode.

We appreciate you guys being here, going to space and back and menopause and all over with us.

And all of the places.

Thanks for joining us once again on the journey of life.

Stay sexy.

And don't get murdered.

Get away.

Elvis, do you want a cookie?

This has been an exactly right production.

Our senior producers are Alejandra Keck and Wally Smith.

Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.

This episode was mixed by Liana Scolacci.

Our researchers are Maren McGlashen and Allie Elkin.

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