Rewind with Karen & Georgia - Episode 38: Sidebar Nation

Transcript

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Speaker 1 Hello and welcome to Rewind with Karen and Georgia. To rewind.

Speaker 1 It's Wednesday, and that means we're recapping one of our old episodes with all new commentary, with case updates, perhaps some vision on our past, and some lessons for the future.

Speaker 1 Hey, today we're rewinding to episode 38, which we named Sidebar Nation.

Speaker 1 So please listen now as we take you back to October 13th, 2016. You remember you went as Harley Quinn for Halloween that year.

Speaker 1 You looked great. Oh, that's so cute and scary.
So scary. Let's listen to the intro of episode 38.

Speaker 1 Hey, Seaman, do you want to turn off

Speaker 1 that thing? I just realized it was loud.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Oh my gosh.
Shit's breaking down. We're keeping this in, right?

Speaker 1 Oh dear. She just turned it higher.
There goes me. You lost your fucking mime.

Speaker 1 All right. All right, everybody.
Here we go.

Speaker 1 Welcome to my favorite murder, episode 38.

Speaker 1 I feel like a hurricane episode.

Speaker 1 Hi. Hi.

Speaker 1 We have Stephen back. Stephen was gone last week.
Stephen, welcome back. Thank you.
Thanks for watching my cats while I was out of town. They kept me busy, but I love them.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Save it for the cat podcast.

Speaker 1 Forecast, everyone.

Speaker 1 I have a story to tell about being out of town. Speaking of, oh, this is my favorite murder, by the way.
Did you say that, Brian? I don't know. You're Karen, I'm Georgia.
That's right, that's right.

Speaker 1 And we're back in our normal seats. Yes.
Which to me makes all the difference. You came in tonight and like sat in my seat.
And then I was like, Are we gonna, we're not doing this, right?

Speaker 1 And it's like, no, yeah, no, absolutely not. So, wait, Georgia went to San Francisco

Speaker 1 for, was it for unique sweets? No, it was just for like a real life normal trip of a

Speaker 1 night vacation.

Speaker 1 Oh my God, how was it? You're gonna cry for me. Yes, I'm so jelly on your Argentina right now.
Oh,

Speaker 1 this goddamn town so bad. Oh, it was nice.
Can I tell you honestly? Yes. I like staying home.
You do? A lot. Like as a staycation as opposed to going somewhere for vacation? I'm not.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I like being home.

Speaker 1 I hear you. You know, I like the excuse to like eat and drink whatever I want when I'm out of town, but like, I also like hanging out of home.
Did you guys drive or fly? We flew.

Speaker 1 I feel like at this point in my life, I'm like gotten to this place where

Speaker 1 I'm I'm not going to fly to San Francisco. I'm not going to fly to Vegas.
I'm going to valet park most most of the time. Wait, you mean drive, right? You were saying fly.

Speaker 1 Fuck, yes, that's what I mean. You're going to do the most convenient thing because you're an adult.

Speaker 1 Like, that to me was like when I realized that I can now afford valet parking and, like, not even not, I could afford it for a long time, but I was like, fuck you.

Speaker 1 I'm not paying to like, to like pay you to eat at your place. But that's not it.
It's you're paying for the convenience of pulling up and walking away from your car.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and not being in a dangerous dangerous neighborhood walking down the street. Right.
Anyways, yeah, San Francisco.

Speaker 1 And then I'm walking down Haight Street, that great street. That great street, Haight, with Vince during the day.
We're like doing touristy things. And I hear someone scream at me from a moving car.

Speaker 1 And I go to Vince, what was that? And he said, She said, My favorite murder.

Speaker 1 What? Yes. As she drove by.
My favorite murder.

Speaker 1 Who was that? I know, I know. I lost my

Speaker 1 I like waved my hands in it. Like, I went, ah,

Speaker 1 I totally lost my mind. That's awesome.
I know. I didn't play it cool when I wasn't being cool because it was like the wildest thing.
Cool for fools.

Speaker 1 Who cares? Yeah, it was exciting. I love, oh my God, I'm smiling so much.
First of all, I used to live. Were you in the Upper Haight where like all the shops are? We were in the Upper Haight, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's where that's my old neighborhood from when I used to live there before the dot-com boom. When you could live in the Upper Haight as a young young poor person.
It was dangerous there.

Speaker 1 It was. It wasn't bad.
Well, you know what, though? That back then I craved danger. Yeah, I get it.

Speaker 1 I lived in Koreatown for a little while. You know.

Speaker 1 So that it's like even more touching. I just love that.
But I think also that's, I love that someone recognized you from like, it must have, it had to have been a block away. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, they were driving by and it's like, okay, I mean, Vince is like a tall dude with like blonde shaved head and like always wears a flannel.

Speaker 1 And I'm like a shortcut, shortcut, you know, like, and I had been posting on my Instagram that I was in town. Oh, so the person like probably

Speaker 1 knew that I was there. There's a follow up.
There's this person, but it still was like, and I didn't get it at first. And then I was like, what'd you have? What, Vince? What'd you say?

Speaker 1 She's like, fuck her for murder.

Speaker 1 But they're like, get out of town, Narf.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's heat.
I was about to yell, fuck you. And then I realized it was a good thing.
You go kick their bumper. Georgia, wait.

Speaker 1 I love that. I went to see Jimmy Pardo and Matt Belknap have, of course, the very famous podcast, Never Not Funny.

Speaker 1 And our friend, April Richardson, was on it the other night. So I went with her because we're two old crones that go everywhere together.

Speaker 1 And because she was the guest, it was over at Flappers.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 during the show, Jimmy referenced me

Speaker 1 and did it in his very Jimmy Pardo way of going, oh, sure, start a podcast. And then you're number one.
We've been here for 10 years, whatever, which is the highest compliment from a comedian.

Speaker 1 Like putting you down by complimenting you by putting you down. Exactly.
That's the only way they can do it.

Speaker 1 It's very hard for us as stand-up comedians to really express ourselves, but it was a lovely shout-out, really, is what it was.

Speaker 1 And afterwards, when we went to leave, two different girls came up and were like, I'm a Murderino. It's the funniest thing when people say it that way, too.
Like, I'm a Murder.

Speaker 1 It's me. I'm a Murder Reno.
Just like, hi.

Speaker 1 That's really fun. There's another girl who messed it who like put in a message on my Instagram photo and was like, I saw you on the BART train in San Francisco and I recognized you.

Speaker 1 And I looked at her photo and I was like, Oh my God, I was. She's like, I was too scared to say anything.
And I was like, I was staring at you because your hair was so cute. Why?

Speaker 1 What was her hair like? Her hair was like a pixie cut. And I was looking at her being like, fuck, I wish I could pull that off.
That girl pulls it off really well. What pixie, like a boy, a boy cut?

Speaker 1 Like, like Tinkerbell. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Tinkerbell has a bun.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. I'm thinking Tinkerbell from

Speaker 1 Hook.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Julia Roberts. Yeah, Julie Roberto from the 90s.
Julia Roberts in a wig.

Speaker 1 I've always wanted that hair too.

Speaker 1 Well, like Julia Roberts in a wig. She looked adorable.
She was rocking boy hair. Yeah.
You have to be so pretty. to be able to pull off that hair.
Yeah. I was like, fuck shit.

Speaker 1 And I've done, I've done that hair and been like, oh my God, what did I do? Dude, in high school, I did the ghost haircut. What's the ghost haircut? It's a bowl cut.

Speaker 1 It's like a, it's a big round Demi Moran ghost bowl cut. Did you go in and be like, give me the ghost? I, I think it may have been before ghost, no brag.

Speaker 1 And I know that I had also sun-inned my hair. So I basically had orange hair in a bowl cut.

Speaker 1 I looked like I had, it was kind of like as if I was trying to look like a Japanese rock star is what I looked like, but not, but then everything else. A male Japanese rock star.

Speaker 1 It was like, basically, what are you doing is what, is what I looked like. I mean, we have so many Throwback Thursday photos that just horrify.
Never see the lights. They horrify.
No.

Speaker 1 Last week on the show I work on. It was my episode.

Speaker 1 And in the middle of it, the director of the episode, who is this super badass Peter Atensio, who directed Keanu, the Keen Peale movie, who directed him. And all of Kean Peele.
All of Kean Peele.

Speaker 1 He's done a ton of shit. I think he did The Last Man on Earth.
Yeah. He's done a bunch of stuff.
He's, he's the shit right now.

Speaker 1 He walks up up to me and goes you know my friend georgia and i was like what is happening and he directed your nugatini video he did he did that we were just friends with him and he was like hey i'll do this like for like for free as a friend did that in my grandma's kitchen and then from that we got a web series with cooking channel and he directed those too and like no way he was just like a buddy of ours like that's so awesome and now he's like this huge now he's the shit and everybody on my episode which was very involved and like should we plug the show early I don't think we can.

Speaker 1 I mean, like, I don't, yeah, I think we should wait until I always think I'm gonna get sued. I got it.
I want to sue people and I want to get sued.

Speaker 1 But that was an awesome connection. And then

Speaker 1 I told you this already, but I want to tell other people whether I was leaving. It's that kind of thing where this is like a real TV show.

Speaker 1 I've worked on, obviously, I've worked on TV for a while, but this is like an exciting show that I really love and believe in and think is great.

Speaker 1 And it feels like other people that are working on it feel that way too, which is normally when you work with crew people and and stuff, they're all like checking their watch and like, I need to get out of here.

Speaker 1 But everybody in this whole crew is so good. They're really good at what they do.
It's amazing to watch. These are obviously kind of A-lister people in all these different departments.

Speaker 1 And when we went to leave, everyone was kind of thanking each other, saying goodbye, or whatever. And it was like, you know, midnight on Friday.
It sucked.

Speaker 1 So I went to leave. And then I, as I, I saw the prop master.
So I went to say thank you to him. And as we were shaking hands, he was like, great to work with you.

Speaker 1 And then he goes, don't get murdered and walked away. You didn't tell me this.
I didn't. No.

Speaker 1 I thought I called you. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I didn't? No. Shit, maybe it was my sister.

Speaker 1 And that's where I become. I'm kind of losing my mind right now.
I'm so fucking tired.

Speaker 1 I'm so tired. I feel like I have 50,000 emails.
I know. And I'm not doing, I feel like I'm, I have 19 plates spinning.
I'm dropping all of them. Everything's still, everything's working out.

Speaker 1 I know like the other day we were like both both freaking out about like social media and this. And it's like,

Speaker 1 it's not, it's not going to implode if we don't retweet someone.

Speaker 1 Everything's okay. You're getting, you're on your job and you're doing your, your big job.
Yes. Everything else is still working out.
We're okay, right? We're fine. Like we're good.

Speaker 1 This is anxiety, like at work. Yes.
Well, it's just a lot. I mean, it's just, look, no complaints.
That's the worst thing in the world to complain about. But anyway, I know.
But it's, it's nice.

Speaker 1 There's some fun things happening. I guess that the fun thing about that story is I'm sitting there going, like, oh, everyone's so awesome, or whatever.
And then, like, when someone comes up,

Speaker 1 it's such an intimate thing. Yeah.
What's going on? Did you listen? What?

Speaker 1 Damn it.

Speaker 1 What if I just immediately started asking him for compliments the second after he told me not to get murdered? Well, you'd sound like me.

Speaker 1 Oh, we sold out the Chicago Podcast Festival show that we're doing. Chicago.

Speaker 1 Chicago. Chicago.
I don't know how I can think. I don't know.
950 people? Is it? That's too many people. Yeah, we got to, let's cut that in half.
For sure. Okay, I'll call one of those.

Speaker 1 I'll call the guy tomorrow. We're going to put that wall up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we'll hang the improv curtain.

Speaker 1 Like only half the room sold out. No, we just will bring our own big, huge black curtain.
But there'll be the rest of the people will be behind that curtain. We just don't have to see it.

Speaker 1 Oh, we can't see them. Yeah.
I'm trying. Your sister's coming.
I'm trying to bring my mom.

Speaker 1 It's so exciting because my,

Speaker 1 these are the people that never paid attention to anything I did until I was about 27. And now you're a big deal.
And all of a sudden.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I think Adrian and Audrey were the first who started. And these are basically our childhood friends

Speaker 1 from way back,

Speaker 1 Petaluma Hardcore. What's up? And

Speaker 1 we have a text thread that's been going for like a year where we're just constantly sending each other terrible cat photos and whatever.

Speaker 1 Remind me to send you the rock and roll ELF photo

Speaker 1 gif. Rock and roll ELF? Okay.

Speaker 1 Sorry, go on. Oh, someone at work mentioned the other day, do you know who ELF ended with him being taken away by the government? Is that the truth? Or was that someone fucking with it?

Speaker 1 We're getting a nod from Dustin. I mean, my God, Sarcon.

Speaker 1 Is it true? Same thing. It's very true.
You're young enough to have. absorbed that.
No, somebody talked about it recently. Will you briefly run it down? How is that? How did it end there?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I just heard that that's how it ended.
I can't. So unless somebody's lying to me and you.
Can I be honest?

Speaker 1 That motherfucker motherfucker ate cats, so I don't give a shit what happened to him. Okay,

Speaker 1 Alf. Maybe it was cats dressed up in government clothes.
Oh,

Speaker 1 this is fan fiction. We have to, right? Where were we? Oh, your sisteria friends, they're gonna.

Speaker 1 Oh, so then in this text, um, they, I, one of them said, you're gonna go to the Chicago to do your podcast. And I was like, Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, they were mad that they didn't, they weren't here for our first one. Wow.
Um, I didn't even invite my mom, even though it's down the street from her house.

Speaker 1 So now I'm like, I'm gonna going to fly her to Chicago.

Speaker 1 You're going to do a little makeup work for Chicago.

Speaker 1 But anyway, they got excited and then they're like, we could go. We can afford to go.
We can fly out. And then they basically made the plans on the text thread.

Speaker 1 And I was just laying on my couch, like all bitchy and tired. And like, it was, of course, 10 o'clock at night.
And I was like, I don't want to take my mascara off.

Speaker 1 And then my sister and my old friends just start making this plan in front of me to come and be there for when we do Chicago. You're going to cry.
It made me cry at the time.

Speaker 1 And then I was like, you guys, I'm crying. And they just didn't even pay attention.
You were such a hard ass.

Speaker 1 You cry so easily. I will cry.
Well, especially these days. Like the other day, I had a brief passing thought in the room.
And then

Speaker 1 I had to pretend to sneeze so that you would understand why my eyes were the way they were. You're the most hard ass, and then you just fucking lose it.
That's how it always is.

Speaker 1 If someone's a real hard ass, they're the biggest softy. Right, that makes sense.
We have to put our dukes way up because we have, we, we're like the, a prickly pear with a gooey center.

Speaker 1 Oh, that sounds, I'm hungry.

Speaker 1 You just bite into a prickly pear.

Speaker 1 Why is this gooey? Okay, I have a thank you. We have a several thank yous.

Speaker 1 So at our live show in Los Angeles at the LA Podfest, we afterwards, like a bunch of people just like handed us shit and like didn't even want money for it.

Speaker 1 We just walked away and did, there's no cards. No names.
They didn't want anything for it, which is like bananas. It's the way to do it, actually.
So they respect it. I agree.
Like, it's legit.

Speaker 1 Just add a card because some of it we don't know who it's from. Yeah, we do want to know your name.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Um, okay, so this, someone just handed me this, like, the, these, this gift bag with two cat toys in it that Elvis and Mimi have fucking lost their shit over.

Speaker 1 Elvis was laying on one of them like a pillow. Yeah, there's these

Speaker 1 little, it's one's a goldfish and one's an elephant, and they're filled with catnip. And they, and it's, it's called uh, Bekko Family, B-E-C-O.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 you can get them at, I think it's, oh dear, B-E-C-O Pets, B-E-C-O-Pet.com. And they're these like adorable and it looks like natural and like not bad for you cat toys.

Speaker 1 And they've held up, which usually when catnip toys get shoot on, they fall apart immediately. And they've like fought each other over them.
So thankfully, they gave us two.

Speaker 1 But thank you guys so much. That's so awesome.
They're so sweet. I'm going to post a photo of

Speaker 1 Elvis and Mimi fighting over them on

Speaker 1 their Instagram. And we got the we got mugs from the coroner's office.

Speaker 1 I like to think the coroner brought them him or herself, but we don't really know. I feel like I wish the person had given us a card.
I feel like they probably bought those at the Museum of Death.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Do you know what I mean? They seem like something that you could buy at the Museum of Death.
I just like it because in the morning, it's a nice tall mug, and then it's a skeleton

Speaker 1 with a Sherlock Holmes hat on. And I think he's smoking a pipe.

Speaker 1 Mine was a chalk outline, a body chalk outline. Nice.
With that on it. They're really good quality mugs.
So thank you, whoever was the

Speaker 1 gift giver in that scenario. You could probably bash someone over the head with it and it wouldn't even break.

Speaker 1 Wait, what? There might be a little knife in the bottom. I don't know.
I was trying to riff.

Speaker 1 Stephen also showed me his tote bag, which is actually really cute. I haven't even seen it.
Look at this thing. It's the original

Speaker 1 logo.

Speaker 1 It's my favorite murder logo, tote bag. And it's like, it's good.
It's like a book bag. It reminds me of my fourth grade book bag.
Stephen, any comments, thoughts on it?

Speaker 1 I mean, it holds the gear that records this podcast. Holy shit, Meta.
Dude. It's in good hands.
This is holistic.

Speaker 1 Listen, go to the farmer's market with a shirt, with a tote bag that says, fuck politeness. Yeah.
And tell everyone to fuck off. And get some sale berries.
What are sale berries?

Speaker 1 Well, they'll give you a discount because they love our box. Oh, it's like on-sale berries.
Yeah. I thought that was a berry I I didn't know about.

Speaker 1 Just sale berries, you know, they taste like

Speaker 1 say it.

Speaker 1 Sale it. I can't.
I can't. Are you tired? I'm so tired.
Ty.

Speaker 1 Little leapy Karen drinking a diet gingering.

Speaker 1 What's happening?

Speaker 1 That's the other thing, too. I haven't had anything I like to eat in six months.
So you look amazing.

Speaker 1 You look miserable, but amazing. I'm miserably amazing.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 It's just so much.

Speaker 1 Also, we're in the LA. Oh, whatever.
All right. Anyways, let's move on to the writers.
There's so much going on.

Speaker 1 Hey, let's take a quick what? Oh, I was just going to say, somebody was telling my friend Nick, who listens, hi, Nick, Bernstein, who listens to us and is a big fan

Speaker 1 and is a big podcast person in general, kind of like listens to all of them. He was talking about

Speaker 1 I can't remember what he's talking about specifically, but then I was, I just mentioned the skippers and the people who actually message us to complain.

Speaker 1 And I said, there, I basically said, there are some people who are just like, come on, get to the murder. And he could not stop laughing at that sentence.
He's like, that's your pull quote.

Speaker 1 That has to be your pull quote. Get to the murder.
And I was like, oh, you know what? You're right. That's exactly right.
Oh my God. Like, this is the podcast, you've said it before.

Speaker 1 This is the podcast. This is the podcast.
To quote Jimmy Pardo, listen or don't.

Speaker 1 And we're back.

Speaker 1 I still remember it was the first time I ever got yelled at, stay sexy. Like out of a car in the upper hate.
Yeah, I'll remember it forever, right in front of the McDonald's. There, it was so,

Speaker 1 I remember jumping up and down. It was so exciting.

Speaker 1 I think the first time anyone recognized me, I was getting my nails done. I remember that.
It was super quiet. And the girl walked up and she's like, I'm really sorry.

Speaker 1 Just, I love the show and ran away. And I was like stuck getting my nails done.
So I was like, bye. Bye.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. So funny.
It was so fun. This is the beginning of that time, which was like the fucking best.
It was hilarious to us.

Speaker 1 And just like hearing us have that conversation where we're still just like, this is what's happening. Can you believe it? Also, can you believe 950 seats? That is actually a lot.

Speaker 1 I am actually like, holy shit. Like we do more now or we've done more in the past, but that is.

Speaker 1 sizable for like what our second show? Yes. It's pretty fucking awesome.
Yeah. It was really good.
Well, we had the numbers and that's all that matters. That's right.

Speaker 1 So if you you could please, just now that we've listened to that top of show, can you just give us the behind the scenes background on the Nugatini and really just like a little bit of like where it came from, where it got you, what that kind of like internet of virality felt like.

Speaker 1 Just give us an example. Okay.
Well, yeah, the McNugatini changed my life completely.

Speaker 1 My friend Allie Ward and I created it in a bar because we were going out late every night and we wanted dinner, drink, and dessert in one cup. We were like, like, I don't want to stop for dinner.

Speaker 1 I want a drink. I need a drink.
I want dessert. And so we just, and we loved McNuggets.
And so we created this ridiculous drink. It's a martini glass.
You rim it in McDonald's barbecue sauce. Yes.

Speaker 1 You put vodka and chocolate shake together and pour it into the, pour it into the cup. And then you garnish it with a McNugget.
And so you drink it. You have to get through the barbecue sauce.

Speaker 1 You have to drink through the barbecue sauce rim. True of chocolate milkshake.
True of milk shake. And then when you're done, you swipe the McNugget around the rim.

Speaker 1 There's a McNuggetini video, highly recommend, which was made by Peter Attencio, who

Speaker 1 became your director later. I was the director of the episode of TV I did starring Tim Robinson.
Well, that's from last episode. That's from last episode.
Yeah. So that changed my life completely.

Speaker 1 It's so funny because I've heard you talk about it for a long time. I've actually never watched the video.
I didn't know it was chocolate shake.

Speaker 1 So I just was assuming it was a martini with a McNugget in it. No, it's dinner, dessert, and a cocktail.

Speaker 1 So much grosser than I ever imagined. I know.
And then Allie and I were on Messenger. I was at my boring desk job.

Speaker 1 And we both were like, hey, did you get a weird message on Facebook from someone claiming to work for Food Network? And like, yeah, like, it's got to be fake, right? Nope.

Speaker 1 It was someone being like, do you want to make more cocktail videos? And my entire fucking life changed. You're like, did you stand up from that desk and walk out like without a word?

Speaker 1 I'm not going to do your computer.

Speaker 1 Kind of. I kind of failed on that job pretty hard, pretty soon.
Yeah, I would hope you would.

Speaker 1 My whole goal was like, like, okay, I'm going to try this and see if I can never have to work a desk job again.

Speaker 1 And that's literally all I've been trying to do for the past 14 years is just working hard enough to not have to go back to a desk job. Same.
That minds the gap.

Speaker 1 I mean, the music's great, but I can't go back. Oh, I feel you.
Okay, let's get into our stories. Here's Karen covering the 1980 murder of sister Margaret Ann Paul.

Speaker 1 See paypal.com/slash promo terms subject to approval. Learn more at paypal.com/slash payin4, PayPal Inc., NMLS 910-457.
Goodbye. Goodbye.
Don't miss Netflix's new series, The Beast in Me.

Speaker 1 It's a riveting psychological thriller from the team that brought you homeland.

Speaker 1 The Beast in Me follows acclaimed author Aggie Wiggs, played by Claire Daines, who has withdrawn from public life after the tragic death of her young son.

Speaker 1 She's unable to write and is a ghost of her former self. But Aggie finds an unlikely subject for a new book when the house next door is bought by Niall Jarvis, played by Matthew Reese.

Speaker 1 Niall is a famed real estate mogul who was once the prime suspect in his wife's disappearance.

Speaker 1 Horrified and fascinated by this man, Aggie finds herself compulsively hunting for the truth, chasing his demons while fleeing her own.

Speaker 1 It's a game of cat and mouse that sets them on a collision course with fatal consequences. The Beast and Me now playing only on Netflix.
You will not want to miss this. Goodbye.
Goodbye.

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Speaker 1 With meta descriptions and and auto-generated site maps, you'll rank higher in search results globally. Go to squarespace.com/slash murder for a free trial.

Speaker 1 And when you're ready to launch, use offer code murder to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com/slash murder, code murder.
Goodbye. Bye.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 what if my eye fell out?

Speaker 1 I just had this weird nerve pain in my left eye. I'm actually really bummed because one of my like murders on my future list is the eyeball killer.
Like, what if I did that tonight?

Speaker 1 And it just so happened. If that happened, that would be like,

Speaker 1 what was that Time Life book series where they're like, a mother in Ohio has pain in her hand at the same time that her daughter gets stabbed in the hand? I loved those.

Speaker 1 What was the one? Those were called. Mysteries of the Unknown or something like that.
That was definitely, that was one of them. It wasn't, it was like, there was that, there were Unsolved Mysteries.

Speaker 1 There was like the new generation of

Speaker 1 Twilight Zone that was super scary. And the movie also in the 80s.
Yeah. They just basically wanted to scar us and scare the shit out of us.
And then they ended up making the coolest people

Speaker 1 in any generation. Because we were like, we can back and take it.
But also, I wish, was it called Mysteries of the Unknown? No, it was called Time Life Books series. Time Life Books presents.

Speaker 1 Come on, we got this.

Speaker 1 The

Speaker 1 paranormal or something. I bet you're right about

Speaker 1 it. And there was also like

Speaker 1 tombs that they would open in Egypt and they like contained things. I fucking love Egypt tombs.
Dude.

Speaker 1 Dude.

Speaker 1 Do you know that there's a, there's a,

Speaker 1 okay, global warming is causing these glaciers to melt in the Alps. Yes.
And do you know what they're finding underneath them? What?

Speaker 1 They're finding the bodies of World War I soldiers that died in a crazy battle up at the top. No.
Yeah. That is, I love that.
I know. Archaeology is like the best.

Speaker 1 But also, what if that happens and they it's they start finding stuff that like they didn't know was there? That's why I thought you were gonna go they're like pyramids in the Alps or something.

Speaker 1 Oh, I thought like those World War I soldiers had iPhones

Speaker 1 they they all had

Speaker 1 it

Speaker 1 no not mysteries of the criminal mind. No, god damn it.
I was gonna seem on brand. I was gonna give your podcast a shout out, but now you don't deserve it.
The percast doesn't deserve it.

Speaker 1 You know what you can do to make up for this? Buy me this book. What is it called?

Speaker 1 Well, because Timeline of the Criminal Mind.

Speaker 1 I think mine is Mysteries of the Unknown. I think I might be right.
It had like a...

Speaker 1 I think you're right. The picture was like a pyramid with lightning or something on the front.

Speaker 1 And then I'll remember all those ones of like, you can see like, in the dollar bill, you can see someone's head, and it's like asteries of the unknown. Mystic places.

Speaker 1 Mystery of the unknown. There's a whole series.
Yes. That's it.
There it is. There it is.
Well done. Look.
And with that, Stephen immediately wins us back over to his favor. Listen to the percast.

Speaker 1 That's three R's. Percast.
Percast. Stephen Ray Morris.
I'm having the best time right now.

Speaker 1 So are you, Stephen?

Speaker 1 Should we start in? Yeah, I think you're first this week. Is it murder time? And I'm also first because.

Speaker 1 I could just keep going like this, by the way. I know.
Where we just never talk about murder. We just kind of go hysterical.
We peripherally talk about murder, but not really.

Speaker 1 But not really ever get to anything specific.

Speaker 1 This week, Time Life series presents

Speaker 1 a murder that I'm positive

Speaker 1 I must have found on

Speaker 1 either through somebody who tweeted it at us or somebody on on the Facebook page.

Speaker 1 But it's really good because, as being an ex-Catholic, or I guess a lapsed Catholic. I mean, I haven't turned my back on the church.

Speaker 1 The last couple experiences I've had at the church in my hometown were great.

Speaker 1 Oh, because you went with your niece. Yep.
My niece goes to Catholic school, goes to the same school I went to.

Speaker 1 And the church, the way they do things is really different than the way it was done in the 80s. It was obviously, which is 100 years ago.
You have to be mean

Speaker 1 enough to make you pay attention, right? Like, love God or something. Right.
These days, it's totally like, we're all just here to support each other. Where I'm like, what are these words?

Speaker 1 They change the words. There's a lot of hand-holding and shit.
Oh, my God. Stuff that was never even.

Speaker 1 It wasn't done when I was growing up. Girl, today's a Jewish holiday and I didn't fucking do shit.
What is it, Purim? It's Yom Kippur, and I absolutely did nothing. Don't ask me the meaning of it.

Speaker 1 Okay. It's about atonement, I think, right? Yes.

Speaker 1 I am a terrible, I am the Jewishest non-Jew that's ever lived. That's really true.
You play good Jew,

Speaker 1 but you don't do any of the like homework part. Nope.
I think it's enjoyable. And I also think it's what in Los Angeles, I would say it's like what 98% of people are doing.
Let's make this about me.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. Keep going.
Just get to the murder. Yeah.
Okay. I'm sorry.
No, I'm not yelling. No, I know, I know.
You're right. You're right.

Speaker 1 So, but I say all this because my

Speaker 1 murder this week is about a priest named Gerald Robinson. Now, normally I love a serial killer.
I love a process killer. I love somebody who maybe one of his eyes got poked out and he's upset.

Speaker 1 And, oh, there's a really good TED Talk. Somebody posted on the Facebook page.
Sorry, sidebar. There's a really good TED Talk where a guy talks about how people become

Speaker 1 like the mind of a serial killer. And he talks about violence, experiencing violence at a young age and head trauma.
Fuck yeah, he does. And that I loved that.

Speaker 1 So anyway, this episode's called Sidebar Nation. This is

Speaker 1 become a citizen of Sidebar Nation. Don't fight us anymore.
We know you like murder.

Speaker 1 Everybody does. Join the religion of Sidebar Nation.
Because it's fun to have ADD. Well, hold hands and we'll talk about it.
And there will be crying.

Speaker 1 So normally normally one-off murders do not interest me.

Speaker 1 There has to be insane extenuating circumstances for me to be like, oh, because I have that feeling like, well, that's just the thing that happens.

Speaker 1 Somebody loses their shit and all of a sudden attacks another person. Or somebody pushes someone over and they hit.
We're very fragile, delicate people.

Speaker 1 Like that happens, but this is like, but you like the shit that's like planned. Right.
I like the stuff that's from a movie, but actually happened in real life.

Speaker 1 See, I think I'm the opposite where I'm fascinated by the like you did these things without even realizing you were going to murder someone or like you were going to, this was going to happen.

Speaker 1 This thing was building up inside you. That's no, like it wasn't even building up.

Speaker 1 It just, this fucking snap decision you made ended up in these circumstances and you had, and you murdered someone without even fucking under, like, if you could go back and be like, I was murdering this person and I did, I just wanted it, I just wanted to show them how angry I was, or I just wanted to, I just reacted in a way that I'm not, because I'm not good at

Speaker 1 controlling my anger. Yeah.
I wouldn't have done them, but I did them. Like, that's why I like one-offs.

Speaker 1 Okay. That makes sense.
Well, then, you, Georgia, this one is dedicated to you. Thank y'all.
This one's going out to Georgia tonight. Hey, Georgia.
Karen just wants you to know.

Speaker 1 I'm the lady from Coast.

Speaker 1 Local jokes get local work.

Speaker 1 All right. This is Priest Gerald Robinson.
So this is fucked. It's a one-off, but it's crazy fucked.
It has all these elements to it where I'm like, I couldn't find,

Speaker 1 let's be honest, Karen. Didn't find.

Speaker 1 I'm sure that it's possible to find all the super detailed parts. See Correction Corner next week.
Many of you will. Yes.
This will go on and on.

Speaker 1 But I'll just give you what I know.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 on April 5th, 1980,

Speaker 1 what a time. Good to see you.
Music, TV.

Speaker 1 We had all of them. There was so much great stuff happening in our culture.

Speaker 1 But in Toledo, Ohio, at the Toledo Mercy Hospital, in the sacristy of the chapel, which is up where they keep the body of Christ, amen.

Speaker 1 I believe.

Speaker 1 I think that's where, like up near the altar. I think that's the sacristy, or maybe the sacristy is backstage.
Happy Yom Kippur, everyone.

Speaker 1 They find a fellow nun finds the body of sister Margaret Ann Paul, and she had been stabbed 31 times. Holy shit, that's a lot.
She,

Speaker 1 well, she hadn't, she had initially been attacked from behind. She was hard of hearing.

Speaker 1 So her killer snuck up on her, took a piece of cloth, wrapped it around her neck, and choked her so hard that he broke two bones in her neck. Holy shit.

Speaker 1 Then she was placed on the floor while she was dying. She was covered with an altar cloth, and then she was stabbed nine times over the heart in an inverted cross shape.
No, that's right.

Speaker 1 And then the cloth was removed, and she was stabbed in the chest, neck, and face 22 more times. What the fuck? Why take the cloth off? That doesn't make any sense.
I mean, then

Speaker 1 the killer smudged blood on her forehead as if he was anointing her

Speaker 1 with that blood, which is so creepy to me, the Catholic.

Speaker 1 Then he pulled her dress above her chest not cool then he pulled her girdle and hose down not cool and pulled it pulled her legs apart and they say he penetrated her with either the murder weapon

Speaker 1 a cross or a finger hate the murder weapon i hate that detail in murders it's yeah that's a that's hideous yep um and it's also especially in this case the police were like well this was a person this was a person who intimately knew Catholic ritual and who was trying to degrade this woman in front of God and degrade the church.

Speaker 1 Wow. Um,

Speaker 1 if she had lived one more day, which was uh

Speaker 1 if she had lived one more day, she would have been 72 years old.

Speaker 1 And I believe the next day was what I was thinking there just then is the next day was Easter. So she was born on Easter.

Speaker 1 So four days later, they have her funeral, and Father Gerald Robinson presides over the funeral.

Speaker 1 He was the hospital, the chaplain of the hospital chapel, and she was the caretaker of the hospital chapel. I remember his name from when you introduced the story.
Do you remember?

Speaker 1 I maybe I shouldn't have done that, and then this would be more of a reveal.

Speaker 1 Look,

Speaker 1 if I had days and days to do this shit, and I was unemployed and stuff, oh, oh, the presentation I would give you. Wait, then you're making me feel bad because I have days and days and I'm unemployed.

Speaker 1 Yet, I don't care. Well, then we're both doing great.

Speaker 1 Two weeks later, Father Robinson is brought in for questioning because they put it together that if it's somebody who knows Catholic ritual and it's somebody who's trying to demean her, they work together and she is known as a taskmaster.

Speaker 1 There's in these, it's so funny because these articles are clearly from a while ago where they're just right up top. They're talking about what a bitch she is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're like, where I'm like, none is a fucking cunt. What a bitch.
And it's like,

Speaker 1 first of all, he murdered her. So I think he's the bigger cunt.

Speaker 1 Ultimately,

Speaker 1 sorry. The headline is

Speaker 1 sorry. The I'm as tiny.
Is it like font eight and everything else is a font 32? Can we get that?

Speaker 1 Shazamanda at shazamanda.com. I mean, at Instagram.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so, but they talk about that she was, she was a tough old bird. Um,

Speaker 1 and maybe that made him mad and maybe he couldn't handle that or didn't like it or took it for years and years and years. But

Speaker 1 basically, he tried so hard to take it.

Speaker 1 Oh, and then but he was a man of the Lord, so I guess he just had to kill instead.

Speaker 1 So he's brought in for questioning, but he told the police in 1980 when he's brought in for questioning that somebody else had confessed to the murder.

Speaker 1 Oh, but he couldn't, he didn't know who it was and he couldn't say anything else because of the bond. That's smart.

Speaker 1 They gave him two polygraph tests, which were inconclusive. And then

Speaker 1 they let him go. And within the year, he's transferred to a different

Speaker 1 area. How convenient.
Well,

Speaker 1 23 years later,

Speaker 1 so this is the coldest of cold cases. Yeah.
What you're saying. You see, ritual murder of a nun in a chapel.
It wasn't just like a passionate murder.

Speaker 1 Like the fact that he did the upside down cross and then

Speaker 1 anointed, did the smudge. Yes.
Like that's evil. It's super evil.
And what's weird to me is this, and this is the part where I do want to get into this more and learn more about it.

Speaker 1 I bet you there's a book about this because this was during the time during satanic panic. Oh, right.

Speaker 1 In the 80s, went like the Mick Martin daycare thing where all of a sudden this weird thing, and maybe this was before it.

Speaker 1 And so it didn't catch that in the way that it would have other places but in the 80s there's a fascinating there's definitely books about it last podcast on the left did um an episode about it of satanic panic where all of a sudden people were being accused accused of uh ritual serial murder of of like occult groups and satanic groups and killing children and sacrificing children and raping children and this whole thing that they they like legitimately believed in satan that there were you know album like music albums that you could play backwards that were telling people to kill children.

Speaker 1 And it was just like this, it was a whole thing. It was a sane thing.
It was like a cultural phenomenon, much like the evil clown phenomenon we're all experiencing now.

Speaker 1 Which I fucking think is hilarious. It's the greatest.
It's like, it makes me happy in my heart. And I don't think that they're actually trying to hurt anyone.

Speaker 1 Like, I think there's, I would say there's 97% of it is bored high school teenage boys who find old Halloween costumes and they're like, now we have something to do tonight. Totally.

Speaker 1 But there was that one story where there was someone that there was a clown on the edge of a forest trying to offer children candy yeah but at what point is that built up by like terrified fucking you know parents who are like he tried to lure my kid and the kid was like yeah he totally tried like I just don't believe it that that's even true I would love to know I think it's hilarious there's I say at the center of all this there's one evil clown and everybody else is just bandwagoning on his shit yeah and they're like don't fuck our shit up man this is like good for us but one of them's gonna to get shot by some fucking angry soccer dad.

Speaker 1 Well, then it's going to ruin it. It'll be over.
Yeah. It's going to ruin it for all the rest of us.
For all of us who want to laugh at this because it's hilarious.

Speaker 1 They were actually doing that in Kern County like two years ago, and people were taking video of it. Oh my God.

Speaker 1 And it was, it's, because Kern County is up north of Los Angeles, and it's basically the forest. It's the bottom of the wilderness.
Yes. And it's the creep.

Speaker 1 People would drive by and there'd just be a guy with a clown, dressed as a clown, but like an evil clown holding balloons i love it just standing around by the road out in the forest area i feel like if i saw that i would crack up i would scream i would laugh but i would laugh out of out of fear but in the way of like i wouldn't be able to control myself you'd scream sneeze yeah and you would which by the way people are pissed at us for talking about scream sneezers so scream sneezers are pissed oh really well i've been pissed at you guys for a really long time um and also we talked about it in a way where you could see it coming and we spoke in normal tones.

Speaker 1 We didn't all of a sudden scream at the top of our lungs out of the blue for seemingly no reason. So, who cares what they think? Anyway, back to this murderous priest.
Go on.

Speaker 1 All right. 23 years later, a woman tells the Toledo Catholic

Speaker 1 Diocese that she suffered years of ritual sex abuse by a diocesan, I don't know if I'm pronouncing that right.

Speaker 1 And religious order of priests during her childhood. Holy shit.
And she named Gerald Robinson in particular. Motherfucker.
Now,

Speaker 1 those

Speaker 1 accusations were never substantiated because.

Speaker 1 Why would she lie? Well, A, why would she lie? B,

Speaker 1 it takes me straight to the Lincoln Credit Union

Speaker 1 thing of that

Speaker 1 pedophile rings happen.

Speaker 1 They are crazy and upsetting, and nobody wants to admit it, but it has happened. They do happen.
Definitely.

Speaker 1 Whether that is happening because people want to dedicate their life to Satan, I don't know or think so. And if they, and if that's what they say, it's an excuse for bad behavior.
Right.

Speaker 1 They're not religious people. No.

Speaker 1 And, you know, with her, with it being

Speaker 1 unsubstantiated,

Speaker 1 the intimidation that you must receive when you

Speaker 1 have any allegation of this going on is so intense that why would you then move forward with trying to substantiate it doesn't yes exactly why would you put yourself in the hot water you'd be like you know what fuck this i'm i'm moving on yeah now

Speaker 1 uh i will just say this for even keelness sake there is a possibility that the reason that she would make an accusation like that and it would be unfounded and untrue is because she had mental health issues okay that is a possibility in no way am i accusing her of that i don't even know who this person is there's no name.

Speaker 1 And that's, of course, the first thing that gets thrown back at a person like that that then negates a victim's story. Right.
So I am in no way doing that.

Speaker 1 The other thing is, maybe she does have mental health issues and also isn't lying. Yeah.
You know what I mean? Maybe her mental health issues are because she

Speaker 1 went through this thing for her. You know what I mean? Like

Speaker 1 insane people are still fucking saying some things that are like the truth.

Speaker 1 Yes, they're experiencing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? It's just so frustrating. Yes.

Speaker 1 And the idea that things don't get substantiated doesn't mean it's that they didn't happen. It's that the police cannot find proof 20 years later.
Or don't want to find proof. Because maybe there's

Speaker 1 fucking involved in conspiracies to the roof. My favorite murder is cracking the fucking case right now to get with it.
By

Speaker 1 postulating. Postulating.
By repeatedly postulating vaguely. Hardcore vague.
Postulating.

Speaker 1 That's our tagline.

Speaker 1 That's the new shirt that's our hook hardcore vague postulating okay but then uh the authorities in december of the same year so it was like six months later they receive a letter about the woman's allegations and they reopen the investigation into sister margaret and death so basically somebody some she somebody at the Catholic diocese heard this woman's story and believed her enough or felt enough about it to send a letter to the cops to say, I think this needs to be looked into in some way.

Speaker 1 And they did.

Speaker 1 And that's why that sister Margaret Ann's death got the case got reopened. And the name that they find is Father Gerald Robinson.

Speaker 1 That's the, they, there's a, there's a man named in this crazy, quote unquote, crazy story of

Speaker 1 ritual

Speaker 1 priest molestation. And then when they go to open this 20-year-old murder case,

Speaker 1 he's the one guy that works there. Yeah.
And he's there.

Speaker 1 So then they start looking into it and they start.

Speaker 1 They look at, I think, I'm not sure exactly how they hook this up, but I love this.

Speaker 1 There was a very light indentation on that altarcloth that got put on her that had a little picture of the U.S. Capitol.
And it was the medallion on a letter opener

Speaker 1 that they found

Speaker 1 on his desk. Oh my god.
And then they took that letter opener and they put it and compared it to her wounds. It didn't match, right? It matched.

Speaker 1 Not only did it match, it matched like a key in a lock.

Speaker 1 Holy shit.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 then they go and talk to him. And

Speaker 1 it's said that when they brought him in for questioning again, this is, you know, in now in 2000,

Speaker 1 um,

Speaker 1 2004, I think.

Speaker 1 He's brought in for questioning.

Speaker 1 They talk to him a little bit. He denies everything.
And when he leaves, the camera catches him. He's whispering to himself and saying things

Speaker 1 like panic word, you know, like he's clearly praying. Oh my God.
He's saying, like, holy Jesus. And it's little things that they can't pick up the whole thing, but it's,

Speaker 1 I can't. I don't want to watch it.
I want to watch it. That's crazy.
I know. So basically,

Speaker 1 it's a bit of a Robert Durst. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Where he doesn't realize he's still being filmed

Speaker 1 and he's alone freaking the fuck out. No.
Freak out. Freak the fuck out to yourself, everyone.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. Just stare straight ahead.
Yeah. Try to keep your eyes open as wide as possible.
Do not blink. Don't blink no matter what.

Speaker 1 But I feel like that's the thing: if you were looking, if you were looked at for a murder and

Speaker 1 you were not guilty of that murder and then they brought you back in 20 years later yeah there's no need to pray in a panicked manner no after the cops leave no

Speaker 1 i mean you might be upset or whatever but you don't what are you freaking out about yeah

Speaker 1 i demand to know you have to tell me um

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 1 essentially they figure out that father robinson was angry about Sister Paul's domineering ways, that they had worked together for a long time and

Speaker 1 that that that he basically snapped also the fact they were having easter services at that chapel so maybe something specific happened or like the pressure was building or they had to work together more than often yeah more than usual i mean

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 to me though the level of overkill oh my god building up so crazy yeah and it also indicates like if you're a priest i mean i understand that you would be very familiar with things like inverted crosses yeah

Speaker 1 to stab to stab an inverted cross into an old woman's heart uh is pretty fucking extreme but was it what if he was stabbing her from her head down like maybe it wasn't inverted in his mind you know what i'm saying no it's the shape of an inverted cross Okay.

Speaker 1 They think

Speaker 1 one of the theories is that he was trying to make it look like some outside total creep. Which means he thought about it beforehand.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, that's what's crazy is like those little aspects of like that he means he thought about it beforehand. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And also that doesn't sound like someone whose first and only it was his first and only kill.

Speaker 1 No, it really doesn't. No, it doesn't.

Speaker 1 I mean, for things that I've read, it absolutely doesn't. Because if you kill someone, if you snap and kill someone and stab them a bunch of times, but

Speaker 1 you don't have the presence of mind to do shapes shapes and designs designs and shapes the thing on the forehead also putting the cloth on and then taking it off like you would do one or the other it means something

Speaker 1 yes and it's it has meaning to you yeah and it is a ritual to you yeah you this priest like he can't see her while she's still alive, but he's fine seeing her and stabbing her when she's dead.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? But he, it was, the cloth was on when he did the inverted cross, yeah.

Speaker 1 So she was probably alive during that, and then she was dead, and so he could take it off and kill her and stab her more, which is creepy.

Speaker 1 Yes, then he knows he's stabbing a dead body, and then a priest 22 times takes her clothing off. It's like, oh, you know, like, if you just wanted to kill her, then just do that.

Speaker 1 But then going through this, like, to make it look sexual. And like, people who try to make it look sexual so that they think it's someone else are still doing this fucking crazy sexual thing.

Speaker 1 Yes, that's right. Right? Yes.

Speaker 1 It's

Speaker 1 there's all there's so many questions that I have.

Speaker 1 And,

Speaker 1 and I'm the one that looked up the story.

Speaker 1 Thank God.

Speaker 1 That's no, no, no. I mean, these are questions that like only he can answer.
Right. You know, these are not questions that we can.
Yeah. I mean, because they didn't, he, he filed appeals.

Speaker 1 He, he pled not guilty. He filed appeals.
They, the jury convicted him in like six hours.

Speaker 1 He was convicted of,

Speaker 1 they reduced the charge from aggravated murder to just regular murder.

Speaker 1 But then he just was, he just was in jail for the rest of his life and died there.

Speaker 1 And they convicted him on my birthday in 2006. Happy birthday.
Was that a good birthday for you?

Speaker 1 Let's see.

Speaker 1 I swear to God, like these last, I would say eight birthdays, I have almost no memory of. That's probably good.
I mean, it's all the same. When you get to my age, girls, guys,

Speaker 1 when you get to my age.

Speaker 1 I'm taking a photo of you right now because Alice is like sitting next to you, just listening to you intently. He's my good friend.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So that's that.

Speaker 1 Do I have any makeup on? No, you look great. I have work face.

Speaker 1 Priest Gerald Robinson, probably not in heaven right now. Might be in purgatory.
Good chance he's in hell. Most likely.
Oh, Jews don't believe in hell. Oh.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 depends on which Jew you ask.

Speaker 1 He's, he's, you know, where he is for all the Jews out there. He's waiting in line at the Cheesecake Factory and he cannot get seated.

Speaker 1 That sounds anti-Semitic. I just can't figure out how.
Is it racist? No, I don't care.

Speaker 1 No. No, I don't care.
No, I deem it. I deem it unanti-Semitic.

Speaker 1 All right. That was good.

Speaker 1 That was fucked up.

Speaker 1 It was good. That was fucked up.
So it was good. Okay, good.

Speaker 1 Okay, we're back. Happy Yom Kippur

Speaker 1 to everybody. And happy Purim when that is relevant.
Okay, do you have any updates, Karen? There are no updates on this case. It's one of those that's old, it's done.

Speaker 1 It's just the kind of thing that gets reported on. I do have information that's equally as important.
I know what the sacristy of a chapel is now, and it is what I thought it was.

Speaker 1 It's the dressing room of the church. It's the backstage area.
It's the green room. Yeah, I think I called it it the backstage.
The backstage.

Speaker 1 Where all the vestments and the sacred items and the liturgical supplies are stored and when where the priests get ready before church, basically. Me, me, me, me, me.

Speaker 1 Not like, God, God, God, God, God.

Speaker 1 I love New York. I need New York.
I love, I need unique New York. Also, I want to talk about this and thank you, Alice Nagosti, for including this piece of information.

Speaker 1 We talked about this clown panic that actually happened. happened during 2016.
That's right. Very real.
Just a person standing on a corner in a clown costume at night, right? Holding an axe.

Speaker 1 That's the part that sucks. There was an element to it that was very intentionally threatening.

Speaker 1 And once one, it was like it would happen in one state and then it would start happening in other states. Someone was like, some teenager was like, great idea.
And they would go do it themselves.

Speaker 1 And because it would go on the news and then they would show the video of like someone in a car passing a clown holding an axe just standing on the side of the road. Now, do you think that's legal?

Speaker 1 Like without the axe, fucking fine, whatever, loitering. But with the axe, is that like threatening someone's life? I don't know.

Speaker 1 The deadly weapon kind of is it about like how high up you're holding that axe? Right. An angle.
Right. Are you a smiling clown? Are you a crying clown? Are you just picking your nails with that axe?

Speaker 1 No big deal. Trying to get some broccoli out of your teeth.
You're fine. Oh my god.
So let me just tell you a little bit about this very real evil clown panic of 2016.

Speaker 1 So the president of the World Clown Association, Randy Christensen, actually had to come out and condemn this trend, noting the negative effects on legitimate clown performers and related businesses.

Speaker 1 He said, We're full of people that love children, bring smiles, and want to help people laugh and bring comic relief. The people dressing up are trying to scare people.

Speaker 1 No professional clown would ever take part in anything like that.

Speaker 1 At this time, McDonald's even limited Ronald McDonald's appearances at any kind of live event. Wow.
That's how scared people were of clowns. When you have influence over at McDonald's, like

Speaker 1 good, good job, yeah. Good job.
And then it came back briefly in 2017 because the it chapter one came out, which is kind of hilarious. And then it just went away.
And then it just went away. So weird.

Speaker 1 What were they distracting us from?

Speaker 1 This is how it's all working, people. Who was behind the mask? That's a circus.
Stop eating your bread. Okay, now it's time for George's story about the Gage Park stabbings.

Speaker 1 So whether you're buying tickets to an improv show or a whodunit board game, PayPal helps you make the most of your money this holiday. Expires December 8th.

Speaker 1 See PayPal.com/slash promo terms subject to approval. Learn more at paypal.com/slash payin4, PayPal Inc., NMLS 910-457.
Goodbye. Goodbye.
Don't miss Netflix's new series, The Beast in Me.

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Speaker 1 Niall is a famed real estate mogul who was once the prime suspect in his wife's disappearance.

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Speaker 1 It's a game of cat and mouse that sets them on a collision course with fatal consequences. The Beast and Me now playing only on Netflix.
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Bye-bye.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 all right. Since we're going to be at the Chicago Podcast Festival,

Speaker 1 I wanted to give a big ups to Chicago by doing a Chicago murder.

Speaker 1 No, what? Is it the Torso murders? No. Oh, wait, no, that's Ohio.

Speaker 1 Also, I want to apologize to Indianapolis. Oh, they were hurt.
I know, but they were so funny about it that it makes me want to go there. I know.

Speaker 1 Last week, I said the I never want to go to Indianapolis, and everyone was just like, Yeah, we get it. They were like really cool about it.
And I'm like, oh, they sound cool. I know.

Speaker 1 I'll go to Indianapolis. But also, to me, when you said that, you clearly were just pulling a city name out of your, it wasn't like you've been there and you're all bummed.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, realistically, it's Cincinnati.

Speaker 1 What if every episode? I just name a city and piss the entire country out. No, you're just, but always keep it in that area, like that very contained area in the Midwest.

Speaker 1 That realistically, we're never going to go to. We are so going to go on a train tour that is Indianapolis.
Let's go to the places Georgia

Speaker 1 is kind of meh on. Up to Peoria, Illinois, uh-huh.
But then right back down, Pittsburgh, you're on that list. Pittsburgh PA,

Speaker 1 Pittsburgh parties.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Pittsburgh's good times. Is it? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
We'll be there. Come on.
I've done some colleges.

Speaker 1 I've stayed at some of the best days in around this country.

Speaker 1 I can tell you all.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much. I saw the highway and the byway.

Speaker 1 The throughway?

Speaker 1 Can I go? Please. Okay.
I'm kidding. I don't care.

Speaker 1 So this is,

Speaker 1 I don't want to, I want to stop laughing while I say what this is. Good idea.

Speaker 1 This is the Gage Park stabbings.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. Stabbings plural.
Stabbings multiple. What city did you say? Chicago.
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 February 4th, 2016. That's recent.
Oh, shit. That's right after we started this podcast.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Police were called to perform a well-being check at the Martinez family home, which is in Gage Park, which is a quiet working-class neighborhood in the southwest side of Chicago.

Speaker 1 No one from the family had been seen since February 2nd, two days before. And a coworker of one of the family members had like been to the police, like, what's up?

Speaker 1 So the police go and the doors to the Martinez family house are locked and there's no signs of forced entry.

Speaker 1 But once the police get inside, they discover the bodies of the entire Martinez family. How many people? Wally, ready for this? So Noe Martinez Sr., he's 62.

Speaker 1 He's found just inside the front door with blood all over his head and arms, and he had had 10 stab wounds to the chest.

Speaker 1 Noe's wife, 58-year-old Rosario.

Speaker 1 Rosaro Martinez was found inside the back porch, stabbed 45 times in her head, neck, chest, abdomen, including more than two dozen times in her head. Head stab wounds, man.

Speaker 1 I can't fucking deal with these.

Speaker 1 Those are like, you got to like stab hard. That's rage.
Yeah. It's, that's crazy rage.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Their daughter, 32-year-old Maria Martinez, had died of four gunshot wounds to the head. Fuck.

Speaker 1 And their son, Noe Martinez Jr., who's 38, was found next to his sister.

Speaker 1 They were both in an upstairs bedroom. He had 16 blunt force injuries to his head and another 13 stab wounds to the head.
So here's the real sad part.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's a bummer, but the sons of Maria, Alexis Cruz, who was 10, was discovered in the basement

Speaker 1 and he had 11 stab wounds to the torso and 16 defensive wounds to his arms and hands.

Speaker 1 And then 13-year-old Leonardo Cruz is found on the front porch with 11 stab wounds to the the head, shoulder, and chest. Who the, oh my God.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 it was believed that all six were killed within about a three-hour period. And the doors are a nightmare.
Yeah. The doors are locked.
You know, no one's been heard from since the second.

Speaker 1 Oh, the family dog, Palusa, which is Spanish for fuzzy, was found alive inside, covered in blood and visibly shaken. Oh.

Speaker 1 That poor dog. I mean, Jesus Christ.
And this is like a few fucking, like less than a year ago in Chicago. Like a nice family.

Speaker 1 So police originally thought it was a murder-suicide, but the autopsy proved otherwise. And there were three types of knives used

Speaker 1 and none of them were there. So they were like, clearly this, and a gun.

Speaker 1 Then a month after the family was killed, they still hadn't found anyone. And people were like freaking out that there was some crazy killer on the loose.

Speaker 1 So the police kind of started looking into the theory that maybe the killer or killers had it was like a hit and they had hit the wrong home because the family had no ties to drugs and

Speaker 1 nothing criminal at all.

Speaker 1 So they were starting to think that maybe because all the houses looked similar in that area, that they that these criminals had hit the wrong home, which is fucking terrifying.

Speaker 1 Also,

Speaker 1 the cops said it's possible they targeted the wrong home for whatever reasons. They were trying to get into a residence there.

Speaker 1 The family was targeted, but whether whether it was domestic-related or possibly a Mexican cartel remains unclear, they said.

Speaker 1 Let's see. Okay, so those were the initial theories.

Speaker 1 Then eventually they started thinking that the family had been specifically targeted because Maria Martinez, who they thought was the main target, had been shot rather than stabbed.

Speaker 1 So they were like, that's fucking weird.

Speaker 1 So around three months later, while the whole neighborhood's freaking out, the detectives get a tip that the 22-year-old nephew of Maria's ex-husband had turned out the day after with noticeable injuries.

Speaker 1 His name is Diego Uribe,

Speaker 1 and detectives get a DNA sample of him from him. A few weeks later, his DNA matched the blood under Maria's fingernails.
And phone records also placed

Speaker 1 Diego Uribe in the area when the murders occurred. 22-year-old fucking nephew.
What the fuck? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So on May 19th, 2016, the Chicago police announced first-degree murder charges against Uribe, saying he had killed all six of them, including the two children, in a robbery that had turned into a massacre.

Speaker 1 Although it seems like he had wanted to kill them in addition to rob them, yeah.

Speaker 1 You don't, no, that's you don't kill six people, you don't kill two fucking children because it's like a robbery gone wrong. No, and his girlfriend, um, Jafeth Ramos, who is 19, was also charged.

Speaker 1 So it seems like Martinez, who was close to the boys and close to the family, they let him into the house because they knew him and he was there a lot.

Speaker 1 And he had gotten into an argument with Maria upstairs and

Speaker 1 had shot her first.

Speaker 1 And then her brother, Noe Jr., goes upstairs after hearing the shots and he beats him to death with the gun.

Speaker 1 Then the mom, um, Rocero Martinez goes upstairs. She gets killed next.

Speaker 1 And then he found the boys and he made them get cash and Xbox and other valuables from various rooms in the house after he had killed these fucking his family, their family.

Speaker 1 And then he took the boys to the Alexis to the basement, stabs him to death.

Speaker 1 and murders the other boy while he begs for his life. He's a fucking animal.
Yeah, and he's admitting, like, they admitted to to all of this. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 And then he waits for the grandfather to get home and kills him on the porch.

Speaker 1 So they,

Speaker 1 Aribe and Ramos made off with an Xbox, about $550 in cash and jewelry, and then they pawned for about $150.

Speaker 1 And they said it was because they needed money for milk and diapers for their son, as well as a car.

Speaker 1 And so she's not,

Speaker 1 they don't think she actually killed anyone, but they think she was a, quote, active participant. So she was there, like fucking cheering him on.
Holding people down. Yeah, probably.

Speaker 1 But they both confess. They're both charged with first-degree murder, held without bail.

Speaker 1 But so they said they needed it for money, but apparently there was tension between Uribe and Maria Martinez because when Maria divorced Uribe's uncle,

Speaker 1 he had a quote lot of anger over how she had treated him.

Speaker 1 But another family member said that the uncle was super controlling of Maria and didn't allow her to take showers, put on makeup, or leave the house without his permission.

Speaker 1 So he hates her.

Speaker 1 But meanwhile, she's in this crazy, controlling relationship and finally gets out of it.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 yeah, they're being charged with first-degree murder. All the victims are going to be buried in Mexico.
The Mexican Consulate of Chicago is assisting in moving the bodies back to Mexico.

Speaker 1 That's fucking Chicago in February. And I had never heard of it.
No, I've never heard of that. That's huge.

Speaker 1 Also, it's fascinating. You kill six people of your family.
Yeah. And you have the foresight to like lock the door when you leave.
So it like that tiny detail is so confusing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That you, that they would assume all these weird things.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh my God.

Speaker 1 But the weird detail to me, too, is that he waited for the grandfather to come home because he wanted there to be a couple days in between the bodies being found and he knew that if he just left without killing the grandfather who was probably home every night yeah then he would come home to these bodies and and it would be a quicker fucking discovery i mean so he kill waits for him kills him and locks the doors

Speaker 1 also

Speaker 1 what brand of psycho are you when you can kill all those people like i mean it's just it's upsetting to hear about it much less he did it and then like took a break and then did a little bit more so that he could fucking have what yeah $500 it doesn't make it clearly isn't about that because it doesn't make any sense like you can rob the family without murdering them all but I think he went over there with the intention of killing them so he could rob them which if he he kills her first by shooting her

Speaker 1 And then you would think he would stab her because he's so angry with her and then shoot the others.

Speaker 1 Wait, did they say anything about drugs there was no drugs involved what the neither of him he neither of them had a record the girlfriend had been arrested once for shoplifting or something like minor shoplifting um

Speaker 1 wow but it's just yeah it's like you don't even you don't even rob strangers you rob these two kids that you used to go over and play video games with and and be and befriended that were younger than you and you can kill them like that's psychopath That's to me, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like these, it's just these crazy circumstances that you become this

Speaker 1 or are always a psychopath, and nobody knows about it. Yes, exactly.
That family's like, come on in. Oh, it's cousin Ricky, or whatever the fuck his name is.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 We're going to do

Speaker 1 good things.

Speaker 1 We need a good things moment. Really? We need like a good themes, theme songs

Speaker 1 so we can both lay down for a minute podcast

Speaker 1 I guess my good thing is being yelled outside well being in San Francisco was so much fun wait did it rain while you were up there no it was gorgeous it was actually too hot I think hilarious it was like 90 something oh shit but people must have been naked when when the sun comes out and it's like 78 in San Francisco people are like my shorts like it's the funniest thing in the world the first thing we did was get get falafels from truly mediterranean and sit in um what's that park called

Speaker 1 the

Speaker 1 is it the one that's up near the hate yeah yeah no not golden gate park anyways no no no but there's a part there's a small park that's like if you go down toward the lower hate yeah uh it was just full of like college kids and and not no clothes and like everyone was getting high and it was just like super sweet.

Speaker 1 Yay. Yeah.
So fun. So I think that the highlight of my week was that getting, that was my first time like getting yelled at by a stranger about the podcast.
That's the best. Yeah.
It was really nice.

Speaker 1 Out a car. I know.
Thank you to whoever that was.

Speaker 1 What was, how about your, the best moment of your week, Karen? I mean,

Speaker 1 I have to say the going to watch Never Not Funny Live was awesome because those guys are so hilarious. And it was, and Edie McClurg was there.
She was just there to watch the show.

Speaker 1 She's legendary from, you may know her as the school secretary from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. She's a righteous dude.
Oh my God, she's so cute. She's been in over a thousand movies.

Speaker 1 They were looking at her IMDB and talking about her. And

Speaker 1 she's the cutest, though. Yes.
And she got up to walk to the stage because they heard she was there. And then they invited her up to say hi.

Speaker 1 And she couldn't see because she was up in the back and it was super dark. So I went and grabbed her hand and walked her up.
And that's when Jimmy gave us the shout-out.

Speaker 1 Did he give us a shout-out or just say something about it? No, he doesn't. You know, he's like, he talks like he's, you know, like, he's always talks like he's a professional radio man.
Oh, right.

Speaker 1 So, um, he actually was like, Karen Coguera from uh, my favorite burger podcast, and then he started pretending he was mad about it. Riffing on you, um, it was really awesome.
That's so sweet.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was good. But it also made me happy because, like, after a long day of work, sometimes going to a comedy show is like the best thing in the world.

Speaker 1 Instead of just going home and being like, I'm tired. I'm going to try to watch

Speaker 1 some show that I will fall asleep no matter matter what in five minutes.

Speaker 1 Going and watching my friends be hilarious and say the best things and riff shit, it like it's

Speaker 1 life-affirming. Plus, I know that you're a quick makeup in the car person, and I feel like sometimes being forced to put makeup on makes you feel better.
You know what I mean? Yes.

Speaker 1 Like that's what I do in the, like, when I go work at cafes during the day now, I make my, like, I, I have eyelash extensions.

Speaker 1 I make myself put on makeup because I will immediately have a better day, like feel better about myself.

Speaker 1 Yes, there was for like five years when I was in my, what I like to call now the hermit phase, and which is infuriating because anytime I did a podcast or anything, I would remember when I got there, oh, I'm gonna have to, they're gonna make me take a fucking picture.

Speaker 1 I always forgot. Yeah,

Speaker 1 for a long time, I just wouldn't, I'd be like, What for? Who cares? Like, who's gonna see me? It doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 And uh, and then just recently, yeah, just to, just to go and be somewhere and just kind of feel like I'm out and I'm in the world and I'm of the world. Yeah,

Speaker 1 putting on some fucking a nice liquid eyeliner yeah a nice rosy like like tint lip tint a lip tint that will stay for a couple hours yeah keep you young and fresh looking yeah yeah it's a good uh glossier can we get another ad please glossier how about you represent us as we represent you all goddamn day long

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 chillin' our package chilling chilling chilling it chilling chillin' minding our business

Speaker 1 um thanks for listening to My Favorite Murder. We love you for loving murder like we do.

Speaker 1 You guys are the best. Thank you, Murderinos.
Thank you for your support and

Speaker 1 stay sexy. Don't get murdered.
Elvis, you want a cookie? Cookie. Want cookie? Elvis, you want a cookie? Cookie.
Come on, cookie boy. Elvis.

Speaker 1 There he is.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's fucking like, pay me, bitches.

Speaker 1 Bye. Bye.

Speaker 1 Okay, we are back. Do you have updates on this case? I have a few updates.
When I covered this case, the murders had taken place earlier that same year, so the trial hadn't happened yet.

Speaker 1 So in November 2022, a jury found Diego Urbé guilty of six counts of murder.

Speaker 1 He was sentenced to life in prison and provided no further explanation for why he targeted the poor members of his own family for robbery and murder, which is just so confounding.

Speaker 1 Jafith Ramos, Urubai's girlfriend, ended up testifying against him, and she made a deal with prosecutors for a lesser charge of armed robbery in the hope that she would one day be able to be with her son, who was barely a toddler at the time.

Speaker 1 Like, what a waste of heartbreaking. Yeah.
In December 2022, she was sentenced to 25 years in prison.

Speaker 1 And that's the end.

Speaker 1 Man.

Speaker 1 Well, we should put the photo of you. It's so cute of you and Elvis.
Oh, me and Elvis really being best friends. You've got this like whelp look on your face.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's me being like, oh, do I have another job to go to now?

Speaker 1 I love that. We're going to post it on Instagram.
So check that out.

Speaker 1 That's the real crossover of what I started to realize. You can't ever not wear makeup.
Oh, yeah. You can't

Speaker 1 look so cute in the long hair. Elvis looks a little like disappointed.
Elvis is, here's what I loved about Elvis and his company. That's how he would just come and be like, I'll be near you now.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'll give you the present, my presence, and you could feel it, but he wouldn't, it's like, he doesn't really want you to pet him. No, I don't sit on your lap.
I don't need to pet me.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I just want to be part of this. Yeah, he really was such a part of it for so long.
Like a boy. All right.
So I like that episode. Yeah.
Those are good.

Speaker 1 So it was originally titled Sidebar Nation. It's just because we can't stop going off topic, off topic, off topic.
The whole podcast should be called Sidebar Nation. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Actually, there should be like a, what's it called? Spin-off. It'll be a spin-off where two young women play us.
Lip-sync it. Two drag queens lip-sync it.
Call it sidebar nation. I'd love that.

Speaker 1 But if we were naming it today, maybe we would call it the hurricane episode just because of everything happening quickly at the top of the episode. Yeah, there's a bunch of action.

Speaker 1 Or we could call it Cools for Fools, which Georgia tried to tell the story of what happened to her in front of McDonald's and saying that she tried to play it cool, but couldn't play it cool.

Speaker 1 You were jumping up and down. I was.
I'll never play it cool. That's just not me.
No, Cools for fools, baby. Yeah.
Well, thank you guys. You're cool.
Thanks for listening to Rewind.

Speaker 1 Yeah, thanks for being here with us and continuing on. We do this every week on Wednesdays, just looking at old shows.
And

Speaker 1 I don't know, I guess we're just podcasting forever.

Speaker 1 So join us, please, and stay sexy. And don't get murdered.

Speaker 1 Goodbye.

Speaker 1 Elvis, do you want a cookie?

Speaker 1 No one brings out your inner monster like a bad neighbor.

Speaker 1 Claire Danes and Matthew Reese find that out for themselves in The Beast in Me, a new eight-episode drama from the team that brought you homeland. Danes plays Aggie Wiggs, a grieving writer.

Speaker 1 Reese plays Niall Jarvis, her new neighbor and possible murderer. But who's the monster and who's the bad neighbor? That's another story.

Speaker 1 It's a game of cat and mouse that sets them on a collision course with fatal consequences. The Beast in Me, now playing only on Netflix.
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Goodbye. Goodbye.

Rewind with Karen & Georgia - Episode 38: Sidebar Nation

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Transcript

More episodes from My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

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