Kylie on Rooting For Travis, WNBA's FAFO Energy & Banned Kids TV Shows with Jerrod Carmichael | Ep. 28

Speaker 1 10 years from today, Lisa Schneider will trade in her office job to become the leader of a pack of dogs.

Speaker 1 As the owner of her own dog rescue, that is, a second act made possible by the reskilling courses Lisa's taking now with AARP to help make sure her income lives as long as she does and she can finally run with the big dogs and the small dogs who just think they're big dogs.

Speaker 1 That's why the younger you are, the more you need AARP. Learn more at AARP.org/slash skills.

Speaker 3 I am so excited for this spa day.

Speaker 2 Candles lit, music on. Hot tub warm and ready.

Speaker 3 And then my chronic hives come back. Again, in the middle of my spa day.
What a wet blanket. Looks like another spell of itchy red skin.

Speaker 3 If you have chronic spontaneous urticaria or CSU, there is a different treatment option. Hives during my next spa day? Not if I can help it.
Learn more at treatmyhives.com.

Speaker 3 Not gonna lie, we're at the beach. So if you hear kids stomping, I can't help you.

Speaker 3 Let's get this podcast started.

Speaker 3 Welcome back to Not Gonna Lie, a wave original brought to you by Visible, Live in the Know. I'm your host, Kylie Kelsey.
I was reluctantly in a documentary called Kelsey.

Speaker 3 According to Sharon on YouTube, I have a potty mouth.

Speaker 3 Thanks, Sharon. And I unfortunately do know what a laboo boo is.
They're haunting me. I saw one hanging off of someone's purse.
I'm not sure if it was a laboo boo or a lafufu.

Speaker 3 What are we doing? Also, people calling it a bag charm. It's not a bag charm.
It's a keychain. The fuck? Also, you can see I'm taping from our Shorehouse set today.

Speaker 3 Jason went on record saying that my setup makes him look

Speaker 3 better,

Speaker 2 which

Speaker 3 I think it's very hard for him to look bad so let's start there but second that is almost to me saying

Speaker 3 that

Speaker 3 this is enhancing for me also when I came in to put my headphones on they were stretched out it was like the cutest little like oh he was here but also

Speaker 3 I look good without these lights.

Speaker 3 I almost, I almost said it with my whole chest. Almost.
Then I was like,

Speaker 3 they're really helping the bags under my eyes. Okay, coming up on today's episode, NFL Training Camp starts this week.

Speaker 3 So I'm going to get honest about our family's experience with Eagles Camp over the years. After that, you're going to hear my conversation with Emmy Award-winning stand-up comedian Gerard Carmichael.

Speaker 3 I had no business talking to Gerard, but it was

Speaker 2 incredible.

Speaker 3 We got to chat for the first time ever in Buffalo

Speaker 3 when Jason jumped out of the suite and did his whole like, ah,

Speaker 3 shirtless. But before we get to that, quick merch update.
We've officially restocked and extended our range of sizes on our merch. We've got you, real ones.
Check it out now at nglkylie.com.

Speaker 3 Queen Emma knows that I can't let this one go. So if anyone knows a person who owns NGL with Kylie.com and they want to rat them out or they want to, you know, come forward themselves, like just

Speaker 3 come forward and tell us. We want to know.
We just want to have a conversation. All right, moving on, let's get into the brand new edition of Can I Be Honest?

Speaker 3 This week, can I be honest about NFL training camp? I'm going to be. This is now the second training camp since my husband has retired.

Speaker 3 So I want you to take all of these thoughts with a grain of salt. I know we are two years removed now, and it's lovely.

Speaker 3 For anyone who isn't familiar with the NFL, as of today, 32 teams have officially started training camp. That's basically preseason, okay?

Speaker 3 Another name for it. The

Speaker 3 Eagles have the option for the guys to stay overnight. Jason, when we were living in the suburbs, would often just move down to the hotel because they are there for so many hours during the day.

Speaker 3 And then all he does is go to sleep, get up, and do the exact same thing the next day. And then they would get one day off a week.

Speaker 3 And he would come home the night before,

Speaker 3 be home all day the next day, and then report back. The best part about being a spouse during preseason is when preseason's over.

Speaker 2 Um,

Speaker 3 it's it's not great. Even if, even when Jason would stay at home for training camp,

Speaker 3 it was still the only thing we got to do was like sleep next to each other. So he wasn't home for dinner.
He wasn't home for breakfast. So while Jason was playing, we had Wyatt, Ellie, and Benny.
So

Speaker 3 in an effort for the girls to see Jason and to get to play with him and sort of enjoy some time, we would go to training camp probably once or twice a week.

Speaker 3 But the girls would love to go to training camp for two reasons. Number one,

Speaker 3 Rita's water is and number two, they got to play with Jason on the field afterwards. There's a lot of videos over the years that have come out, specifically Jason playing with the trash trash cans.

Speaker 3 People were bothered by that

Speaker 3 because it was a trash can. But what you don't know is that at those practices, those trash cans are just used to store footballs.
So it's not gross.

Speaker 3 There wasn't trash in the trash can prior to my children being in the trash can.

Speaker 3 So not that weird. That does it for Can I Be Honest about Training Camp.
Moving on, let's get to Doom Scroll of the Week.

Speaker 3 First up on Doom Scroll, the WNBA All-Stars made a statement in badass fashion. Okay? When they came out for their warm-ups, their t-shirts said, pay us what you owe us.

Speaker 3 Nafisa Collier from the Minnesota Links said it best. Queen Emma, the clip.

Speaker 2 What do you mean by what you owe us?

Speaker 3 You know, the players

Speaker 3 is what is building this brand and this league. There is no league without the players.

Speaker 3 And, you know, the past, present, the ones coming up, they're the ones that have put in the blood, sweat, and tears for the new money that's coming in.

Speaker 3 And so, we feel like we are all in a piece of that pie that we helped to create. This feels very much like fuck around and find out energy.
The league, fucking around,

Speaker 3 the players said, Find out, check out my shirt. You know, these WNBA players currently make 9% of the league's revenue, which is

Speaker 2 low.

Speaker 3 You want to know why I know it's low? Because the NBA players make 50% of the league's revenue. That's crazy.
That is a massive disparity. Players,

Speaker 3 they're just looking for a larger share of the revenue. And this is an important point.
They are not looking to be paid as much as the men.

Speaker 3 Okay, they're not looking for that because I think that's important to share.

Speaker 3 A lot of people, when they take issue with these conversations, are having issue with the fact that the women's side of the sports are not bringing in the same amount of revenue.

Speaker 3 And so, therefore, how are they supposed to be paid out at the same level as the men? Obviously,

Speaker 3 the WNBA knows what they're negotiating. The people whose argument is that they are not bringing in as much money as the men can kick rocks because that's not what the WNBA is trying to do.

Speaker 3 The new media rights for the WNBA will be worth $2.2 billion if they have increased

Speaker 2 their

Speaker 3 value in media by six times,

Speaker 3 then we need to jump that percentage so that the players can get paid out appropriately. As Nafisa said, they're the ones who are creating the entertainment to bring in this revenue.

Speaker 3 They are the personalities that people are latching onto. They are the athletes that people are there to support.
They are why the fans are there.

Speaker 3 You're not getting money unless those women are on that court. We're going to have in the WNBA three new teams by 2030.
Shout out, Philly.

Speaker 3 The ratings are up 23%. Ticket sales are up 26% since last year.
We know that this has only sparked a fire that is burning bright.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 3 We are watching women's sports more than ever. But we need to make sure that our female athletes know that they can be compensated appropriately for being someone worth following.

Speaker 3 They are role models to young women everywhere. And they are bringing in the revenue that they should get a share of.
I love these shirts. I love the fuck around and find out energy.

Speaker 3 And to round out my doom scroll, I scrolled my way to an article from The Rap with some news about one of my favorite kids' TV shows.

Speaker 3 The headline says, Miss Rachel was the seventh most watched show on Netflix in the first half of 2025. It was also the most watched season of children's television on Netflix.
Miss Rachel, go off.

Speaker 3 We love that. I have said multiple times that we love Miss Rachel, and Miss Rachel is great because she sings the songs that you would love.
She does legitimate speech pathology tactics and

Speaker 3 practices within the show. And also, my kids love her.

Speaker 3 Since I'm talking Miss Rachel, I figured now would be a great time to debut a new NGL guide for parents looking for screen time recommendations this summer.

Speaker 3 As always, these are my personal opinions about kids' shows. That doesn't mean you need to agree.
And if you watch any of the ones that I may or may not talk some smack about,

Speaker 3 that's that's great. I'm going to be honest.
I have no other way to function. So presenting my no-lie parents' guide to kids TV.
It's my first category.

Speaker 3 Put this on if you want something educational, but the music also slaps. Miss Rachel,

Speaker 3 obvious, okay?

Speaker 3 Little bunny sleeping. We were on that so hard.

Speaker 3 I can't tell you how many videos I have of my children pretending to go to sleep on the living room floor before they hopped the crap out of the rest of the song. Also, Sesame Street.

Speaker 3 It's a throwback. Big Bird is aging like fine wine.

Speaker 3 Really, I want to know his skincare routine because he doesn't look a day older than when I used to watch him when I was little. It's crazy.

Speaker 3 The second category, I've seen every episode 100 times and I'm actually okay with that. I'm going to tell you one of my favorite ones, and I think I am,

Speaker 3 I think this is most parents' favorites, bluey. First of all, short episodes.
I love that because before bed, we can say one, two, three episodes.

Speaker 3 Even if you watch three episodes, you're barely hitting the threshold that you would hit if you watch one episode of something else. I love that.
Another one that is very re-watchable, Peppa Pig.

Speaker 3 Simple. It is

Speaker 3 lovely.

Speaker 3 It is

Speaker 3 honestly kind of funny.

Speaker 3 Have you seen Daddy Pig?

Speaker 3 Zabooma Fu.

Speaker 3 This is... This is mine.
Zabumifu is mine. I put it on selfishly.
I love that lemur. I love that he looks a little unhinged.
I've said it it before, and I'll say it again. That show is for me.

Speaker 3 Third category: shows from my childhood. I want them to appreciate.
The big comfy couch is the first one. Lunette and Molly are just hanging out on a couch.
There's some dust bunnies underneath.

Speaker 3 They pull things out of the cushions.

Speaker 3 It's a great show. The other shows that we watch from my childhood is SpongeBob,

Speaker 3 classic. I don't need to explain myself.
PBJ Otter.

Speaker 3 I can literally, the second I said that, it started the whoa.

Speaker 3 It's it's stuck in my head. And the last one,

Speaker 3 Bear in the Big Blue House.

Speaker 3 When he leans forward and sniffs the screen in the beginning, it looks just like Blue. It's so cute.
I miss that dog. The fourth category is shows to put on my mom needs to get other shit done.
Okay.

Speaker 3 Big one, dishes. Anything of like

Speaker 3 that I can't have kids interested in.

Speaker 3 Sometimes it's just a matter of sending an email, or maybe I can't do something while someone's talking to me. So I need to give them one episode of something.

Speaker 3 And these are the shows that I, these are the shows that I put on. Number one, Tots.

Speaker 3 I'm pretty sure I've expressed our love for Tots on here. Tots, number one, we listen to the soundtrack in the car.
Outstanding. It's very good, underrated soundtrack.

Speaker 3 i have woken up multiple times at 2 a.m

Speaker 3 singing the song in my head they just get stuck in there um and the other one puppy pals bingo and roly are up to something category five what the fuck is going on here these are shows that um

Speaker 3 i really just have i have a lot of questions uh

Speaker 3 number one yogaba gabba what the fuck

Speaker 3 I'm sorry, what are, what are they?

Speaker 3 If you've not seen that, you should look it up. Just Google Yo Gabba Gabba, and you will literally say, what the fuck?

Speaker 3 Chicken squad. Why are chickens doing missions?

Speaker 3 Why are they doing missions?

Speaker 3 I'm confused. I like chickens, but I'm confused about the show.
The last category, no offense, but it's banned from my house. Okay.

Speaker 3 These shows are banned for a multitude of reasons. Some of them, I'm pretty sure there are

Speaker 3 studies studies that have shown that these shows

Speaker 3 are

Speaker 3 not correct.

Speaker 3 They shouldn't be.

Speaker 3 Let's just get into it. Number one, Cocomelon.

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 3 Aggressively no. So no that if Cocomelon comes up on any of the screens, my daughters say, oh, we're not allowed to watch that.
Because I have doubled, tripled, quadrupled down.

Speaker 3 We are not watching Cocomelon in our house. I do think that we should question

Speaker 3 anything that locks kids in the way Cocomelon locks them in,

Speaker 3 specifically

Speaker 3 as early as Cocomelon does.

Speaker 3 Now, if you don't have kids yet or you haven't seen Cocomelon,

Speaker 3 you might think I'm being

Speaker 3 a little unreasonable and a little dramatic,

Speaker 3 but you're fucking wrong.

Speaker 3 It is, it is not good.

Speaker 3 Sorry, Cocomelon. No, I'm not.
I'm not, well, you're not allowed in my house.

Speaker 2 Don't come over.

Speaker 3 I'm not answering the door. Blippy.

Speaker 3 I don't even know where to start with this one. Blippy is weird to me.

Speaker 2 I don't like it.

Speaker 3 I don't, I understand that some of it is educational. I understand that it started like as an educational base.

Speaker 3 I'm good.

Speaker 3 Teletubbies. This one is banned for a very specific reason.

Speaker 3 Ellie thinks it's creepy. They have TVs in their bellies.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 3 This teletubbies could kind of double. They could cross categories here because they could definitely go in category five with what the fuck is going on here.

Speaker 3 But they are also very much banned from our house. So teletubbies.
Both category five and category six. Let's just go there.
Last thing on my kids' TV guide.

Speaker 3 You'll notice I listed Sesame Street, a PBS show, in the top tier here. And that's because it's a timeless educational institution that everyone deserves to access.

Speaker 3 You see what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 Everyone

Speaker 3 deserves access

Speaker 3 to PBS. Don't worry.
I'll be making a donation to the local PBS station. I encourage others to do the same.

Speaker 3 And that does it for Doom Scroll of the Week. Gerard Carmichael is coming up right after this message from me about Visible.

Speaker 3 Today's episode of NGL is brought to you by Visible. Everyone loves a good hack, whether it be a makeup hack, a cooking hack, or even a parenting hack like my trusty Time Outstep, or the fact that the

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Speaker 3 He's the Emmy Award-winning stand-up comedian, writer, and actor you know from The Carmichael Show and his comedy special, Rathaniel.

Speaker 3 He's also hosted the Golden Globes and Saturday Night Live, and he just released a brand new stand-up special called Don't Be Gay on HBO Max.

Speaker 3 And now he's officially, not going to lie, Gerard Carmichael, welcome to the show.

Speaker 2 Hey.

Speaker 2 It is funny here in the title. Oh, it is called Don't Be Gay.
Happy Pride, everyone.

Speaker 3 For anyone who doesn't know, we met the first time at my brother-in-law's game in Buffalo.

Speaker 2 We were in Buffalo. We were in Buffalo.
Why did we choose Buffalo? You know, because we like excitement. We like an adventure.
We like to see people shirtless jumping through flames. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Now, when you were introduced to like our family, because my mother-in-law was there. I believe my father-in-law was there with us as well.

Speaker 3 When you were introduced to the Kelseys, did you think that it was going to end up with someone shirtless jumping out of the suite?

Speaker 2 You can't really expect that. You can't expect that because you think you meet a family and you don't expect like anybody to take their shirt off.

Speaker 3 They'll be on their best behavior.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 but it was fun your mother-in-law is really cool yeah speaking of not gonna lie right i i really

Speaker 2 this i i every i i meet her and like she's like so nice and so kind and sees past all my bullshit

Speaker 2 like that's why i love like i'm just like like i can't i don't do the fake voice work because she's like it's not it's not gonna work and she's just she's like i love her did she make you work for it a little bit yeah that's why i like because it's just like none of that she's like save it.

Speaker 2 Like, with like, like, sweet. She's not mean at all, but it's just.

Speaker 3 No, very sweet.

Speaker 2 Very sweet, but just like, I don't need this. That's

Speaker 2 I don't need the thing that you're like, hey, nice.

Speaker 2 How's the weather? Like, I don't need that shit.

Speaker 3 She doesn't want small talk.

Speaker 2 She doesn't want small talk. I love that.
I love that. I love that.
I love that. Go ahead, Don.

Speaker 2 We have the photo right there of Jason. Yeah, that was great.
Because Jason's really, I mean, he really just.

Speaker 2 He embraced it. He embraced it.

Speaker 2 And that was cool. That was really cool.

Speaker 2 We're all just like, wow, is this really

Speaker 2 a shirtless outfit?

Speaker 3 Look at the rest of the suite behind him. We, before that game, ended up in this little corner bar.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 That I don't know if they were known for near like anything particular, but it was.

Speaker 3 It felt to me like that is how you're supposed to experience Buffalo.

Speaker 2 So you got there early. Yeah.
You're at a corner bar. You're just like to hang out.
Yeah. Get to know the locals.
Is this your first time at Buffalo?

Speaker 3 This was my first time in Buffalo.

Speaker 3 And we ended up sitting at a table i didn't even end up sitting at the same table as my husband like we were we were split i'm telling you it was like a very he's got to be amongst the people he's yeah he was deep in it yeah yeah uh and we were getting like paper boats of bar food okay like it was just it was very it was

Speaker 3 yeah like you know like when you go to like um like a fair and they had the the checked like um paper boats and so they were just bringing out like pieces of pizza and and i was just like what are we yeah What's happening?

Speaker 3 And all the people in there were lovely. They were so excited to see Jason.
They were telling him how much they enjoyed watching him play.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I think it was important that he was not a rival team. Like they were not in the same conference.
And so it wasn't a threat. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
He came in peace. He was able to be like it was a diplomacy mission.
Very much. Yeah.
No, but I remember being in a corner like with you and just like, like, where it was safe. Right?

Speaker 2 We were hiding in the back. We were kind of hiding in the back.

Speaker 2 And like, it was like really safe i was like asking i was just like asking about food in philly we were in a comfort conversation yeah yeah yeah it was definitely safe

Speaker 3 thank you very much for that no absolutely um i did notice that you wore red to the game yeah uh are you a chiefs fan oh yeah yeah

Speaker 2 no my my loyalty is with them like because i grew up in North Carolina, but like my dad was a cow or is a Cowboys fan. So that was like in the house, like Cowboy.

Speaker 2 We had an Emmett Smith corner yeah just like posters just like michael irving and troy aikman and all that was like like dolls and mugs and all those things were around the house right but you had more sense about you yeah well so i my my into football was through madden i played madden a lot perfect so i grew up playing madden and playing i played with the colts and i played with uh

Speaker 2 Who else I played with? I was like Indianapolis Colts for a long time.

Speaker 2 And then I was like, I had no loyalty sure I had no loyalty and then Travis was nice to me and I said I will follow you wherever you go

Speaker 2 like that's true how like like Travis like like Travis gave me a hug and I've like I like wear like Chiefs all the time you were top

Speaker 2 wear like pajamas like like my boyfriend like wears a Chiefs hat every day like we're immediately sold we're like yeah yeah no you were and and the whole team like I like they're I've met some of them

Speaker 3 so awesome like they're so cool so I'm I'm definitely a Chiefs fan I just cannot explain to you how much I love the fact that you did not go Cowboys.

Speaker 2 I didn't go Cowboys. I didn't go Cowboys.

Speaker 2 It also,

Speaker 2 because my dad went so hard, it wouldn't allow me to. You kind of have to rebel against

Speaker 2 your father.

Speaker 2 Like so hard. That's his.

Speaker 2 He'll meet anybody on the streets. And it's his first question to them: is like, how do you feel about the Cowboys? Like, and every year.
And I just watched them go.

Speaker 3 For him to ask me that question.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I know. But I watched, but to be a Cowboys house was like, it was, it was really easy for like a couple years in the 90s

Speaker 2 and just devastated.

Speaker 2 For the most part, it was just like

Speaker 2 over and over, like devastated. This is our year.
This is our year. I heard it.
How much disappointment can you take? How much disappointment can you take?

Speaker 2 I don't even know who's playing for the Cowboys right now, but I just know my dad is sad.

Speaker 3 That's okay.

Speaker 2 We'll say Go Birds and Go Cheese. October from like October to Christmas is the way he's so sad.
Yes.

Speaker 2 God. Weekly.
It's just so sad. It's not seasonal depression, guys.
It's the cowboy. Yeah, it has nothing to do with the weather.
He's just sad for the Cowboys. Yeah, every autumn.
Year after year.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Well, at least we came, we know better.

Speaker 2 But were you, how into football were you pre-like?

Speaker 3 My dad only had two girls, me and my sister. Yeah.
So I was his stand-in son to watch football. Sweet.
So I grew up watching football.

Speaker 2 Really? Who'd you root for? The Eagles. Yeah, really? Yeah, okay.
The Bluebirds. Wow.
Yeah. Wow, you really did it.

Speaker 2 You really did it.

Speaker 2 You committed.

Speaker 3 Well, it got to a point where, like, I, when Jason and I were dating, where I was like, hey, like, if you ever play for any other team, like, hypothetically,

Speaker 3 hypothetically speaking, if you ended up with the Cowboys, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yikes.

Speaker 2 What was your dad like when you're like.

Speaker 3 My dad was very mad. Really? Yeah.
Cause he thought typical athlete,

Speaker 3 you're gonna be a bimbo like perceived the bimbo

Speaker 2 um and then he met Jason was like oh yeah I get it oh that's great yeah no I I've seen Jason change hearts oh he's gonna see him like change people's hearts oh yeah yeah yeah he jumped out of that suite to give people hugs

Speaker 3 like what what are we yeah chug beers and give hugs that really that sums him up

Speaker 2 yeah yeah it suggest him sums him up quite well yeah can you tell me i i do want to know about having a kid because i really want to get one of those okay yeah and like right now

Speaker 2 like me and my boyfriend we get in arguments over our hypothetical child sure like like we like how you raising him how you raising them how we're raising him schooling i'm pro public school he went to a private school sure uh like right now our hypothetical child's name is bento he's half black half japanese

Speaker 2 Bento. Yeah, yeah, I got that.
Is that a nickname or that? It's a little nickname for him. It's a little nickname for him, but like, yeah, it's like Lil Bento, and we talk about Bento a lot.

Speaker 3 But we're not going to make Bento his government name, are we?

Speaker 2 Who knows? You know, who knows? My name's Rothaniel. So anything goes.
I love that.

Speaker 2 It could be anything. Okay.
But Lil Bento. But like

Speaker 3 he could have like Ben or Ben. He could go by Ben or Benny if he doesn't feel committed to Ben.

Speaker 2 I love this. Okay.

Speaker 2 Universal.

Speaker 2 Or maybe if you can put quotation marks on the birth certificate, maybe it's that.

Speaker 2 My question is,

Speaker 2 how do you make a cool kid? Because it's really important to me that the child is cool.

Speaker 2 That's all I talk about. And like my boyfriend talks about education.
And like, first of all, with like being gay, it's like, we got too many options.

Speaker 2 Like, because like our baby will come via, like, like, my lawyer will know first.

Speaker 2 Like, you know, like, it'll be like a lot of paperwork signed, and they got to like fly a woman in from a place. Like, it's a lot.

Speaker 2 It's like a lot of flights and paperwork before a child is in my home. Yes.
So it's already too many decisions. Pre-child, like, what do you do to keep the kids cool?

Speaker 3 I have no fucking clue.

Speaker 2 Because, like, they have huge shoes to fill as far as coolness.

Speaker 2 I'm not even talking about like career. I'm not talking about achievements.
I'm talking about just cool parents. And I feel the same.
Like, I feel like I'm pretty cool. Very.
Thank you.

Speaker 3 I feel like they absorb some, they all have to absorb some of them.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yeah.
I do think that they come out who they are.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. It's hard to

Speaker 2 see. You're just kind of there to like

Speaker 2 keep them safe. And like

Speaker 3 keep them alive. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Keep them alive. Yep.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 hope for the best.

Speaker 2 But do you try and imprint? Because it'd be really hard for me not to do the thing. Like,

Speaker 3 I think, I think just

Speaker 3 like being yourself and the way that you interact with your kids,

Speaker 3 it

Speaker 3 they sort of like pick up on all of that. And so they start to have little bits of your tendencies regardless.

Speaker 3 But the most beautiful thing about you choosing to have kids is that it is the most intentional

Speaker 3 child

Speaker 3 and family. Yeah, that's beautiful.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think you should.

Speaker 2 I would love to have life not be about me.

Speaker 2 It's so me. My life is so me.
All day.

Speaker 3 And are you enjoying it?

Speaker 2 No, I like it, but it's like, I'm kind of exhausted by it. It's just like me, me, me.
I love to have it be about someone else.

Speaker 2 Like, oh, like, now the focus, the energy, like the choice. Like, I have to consider someone else.
Like, that would be nice.

Speaker 3 There's growth.

Speaker 2 Yeah, growth. Yeah, I like to grow up.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I guess that's what I'm trying to say.

Speaker 3 I didn't say grow up.

Speaker 2 You say grow up. You know, I say growth.

Speaker 2 No, I need to grow up.

Speaker 3 Well, I'd love to get into your career a little bit.

Speaker 2 Oh, now that we've gone,

Speaker 2 I do want to talk about that. All right, we'll get back to Bento.

Speaker 3 First of all, congratulations. Yeah, we'll come back to Bento.
Don't worry. I'm coming back.

Speaker 3 Congratulations on your brand new stand-up. Thank you.
Don't be gay. Thank you very much.
Streaming now on HBO. Max,

Speaker 3 how do you feel that it's out in the world?

Speaker 2 Does it feel good?

Speaker 2 I want more people to watch it.

Speaker 3 Perfect. That's what we're here to do.

Speaker 2 That'd be nice. It'd be good.
I just want more people to watch it. Like, I'm really happy because I worked on it for like a year and a half.
And this is the most I've ever worked on a set.

Speaker 2 Like, because

Speaker 2 in my career, I had like gotten distracted. I was like doing other things while doing stand-up.
And so it was always, I had like a TV show or like something else.

Speaker 2 And this was just stand-up, like just going on the road, going to the clubs in the city, and just working, working, like crafting.

Speaker 2 So I'm really proud of it. And so like, yeah, like, I, and it's jokes.
It's just, it's the craziest thing I, I'm doing now is like telling jokes. That you know.
Because I didn't really do that.

Speaker 2 I didn't like do that for my last special. Like my last special was like emotional and it was like, you know, but but this one is just jokes.
So I just, I want people to watch it.

Speaker 3 And it was very funny.

Speaker 2 Thank you very much.

Speaker 3 One of my favorite parts of the special is early on when you're talking about celebrities who claim they don't read the comments.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I was reading everything.

Speaker 3 I believe we have the clip here, Queen Emma.

Speaker 2 You ever hear celebrities say shit like, oh, I don't really check Twitter. I don't read the comments.
They are lying to you.

Speaker 2 Everyone reads every word, even the reclusive celebrities. Like, if you want to get a message to Daniel Day-Lewis,

Speaker 2 all you got to do is tweet, Hey, Daniel Day-Lewis, fuck you.

Speaker 2 He's going to read that shit.

Speaker 2 I know. He's like making shoes somewhere.

Speaker 2 Mine is on the shoes. Yeah, yeah.
Just like he's like in Ireland, like cobbling some shoes

Speaker 2 and is scrolling.

Speaker 3 I mean, so I'm on record as saying that I don't really read the comments.

Speaker 2 You don't read the comments.

Speaker 3 No, but there's a couple things that work here.

Speaker 3 I'm not a celebrity, so it doesn't apply to me.

Speaker 2 I don't know. Second,

Speaker 3 second.

Speaker 3 I read some of the comments, but it's only when I find the time to read the comments. Like, mine is a time.

Speaker 2 You're actually too busy to, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 I can't like lock in and also another reason for humans alive, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, distract me from the comments. Like, I just need, I need to look at you so I stop reading about me.
So, I don't read anymore

Speaker 2 because my feelings have been hurt

Speaker 2 so much that I cannot read anymore.

Speaker 3 Sure. So, when's the last time?

Speaker 2 Um,

Speaker 2 it's been it's been like a year.

Speaker 2 It's been like a year and some change since I searched my name. I had the

Speaker 2 reality show come out. I made a reality show, yes.

Speaker 2 And then I was like reading comments all day and like just looking at like comments, TikTok,

Speaker 3 you know, like that's part of the problem.

Speaker 2 Is there's so many people who are like, oh, you just leave one app and go to the next app. Like, you're just like, you're done on YouTube.

Speaker 3 Now I'm on TikTok. I'm done on TikTok.
I'm now on Instagram.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, and then it's like 11 o'clock, and I'm like, oh, I forgot to wish my mom happy birthday.

Speaker 2 I've been doing this for 12 hours and I forgot to like, yeah, life was happening around me.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. And so just searching, searching, searching.
But I haven't done that in like a year, a year and some change.

Speaker 3 And how's that feel?

Speaker 2 Pretty good. Pretty good.
Like if you're like, are you curious? Like sometimes, like, but the thing is, nobody talks shit to your face. Nope.

Speaker 2 So I get to live in this bubble where I think just everybody likes me.

Speaker 3 Do you know I tell people that when they stop my husband and then they apologize to me, it's always the same. It's the same sequence of events.

Speaker 3 They stop my husband like can we get a picture yes then they turn or the person with them turns to me and says i'm so sorry for interrupting your day i'm like no it's totally fine they're like ah this must get really annoying and i always say the same thing no one walks up to him and tells him wow you're a real asshole yeah yeah everyone walks up to him is like you're one of the best centers ever played football and i'm like thank you yeah but that's so sweet yeah that's all that's all you talk about

Speaker 2 yeah people don't talk to your face so like they should start though well i would if you're gonna say it so a pregnant woman a pregnant woman would, yeah, a pregnant woman would be like, I know, I don't like you, and I never liked you, but but like people are nice in person, so like I get to live, I like that.

Speaker 2 I like just like walking around and having like

Speaker 2 who doesn't love receiving love, so that's been nice.

Speaker 3 That's that is such a good point. Um, this new comedy special is your fourth one.

Speaker 3 Does um, every new one become your favorite, or do you have a favorite?

Speaker 2 Oh, that's it. Oh, Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, like children. Oh, like the children.
Yeah. Depends on the day.
Yeah. It depends on the day.
Yeah. Well, well, every, every new one, every new one is, you know,

Speaker 2 like exactly where you, where I am. Yeah, applicable to that time of life.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like it, it, you kind of,

Speaker 2 uh, a friend of mine said that, like, like, he makes art to catch people up with him.

Speaker 2 And I get that. Like, like, oh, this is exactly where I am here.
Cause I almost had to put this out because like my last special, I was like in a fetal position, like, like, sad.

Speaker 2 And so, like, people would be like, part of the, like, oh, good to see you. Like, I hope everything's okay.
A lot of like, like, like, the general, like, like, like, I hope you're okay. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So now it's just like, oh, you see me? Good to see you out. Yeah, yeah, good to see you out.
So glad you got out of the house today. Remember, like, because last time I saw you, you were crying.

Speaker 3 Like I mentioned in your intro, you've hosted some huge shows, The Golden Globes and Saturday Night night live which uh you were nominated for an emmy for yeah yeah which were you more nervous for or do you not get nervous um

Speaker 2 the it i it was like different processes like i for both i didn't know what i was gonna say basically until it was live like for for snl

Speaker 2 I spent the week annoyed because I needed to talk about like it was like the Oscar slap it just happened and it like it stole I I'm just coming out I just come out I got a new special I'm like I'm wearing a white suit with no shirt this is about me and then all of a sudden it's like oh I guess I have to talk about like this thing that happened so like just trying to find a way to like address that without like so I was annoyed I was annoyed that but I had fun doing it I like I had fun doing the monologue but I was like annoyed all week and kind of the same thing for the Globes that like I'm like the first black host of this thing.

Speaker 2 And, you know, like it's like 80 years of the show. They've never had like a black host.
They like come off like this race scandal. And

Speaker 2 now I'm here. Right.
And it's just like, hey, just smile and make jokes about the celebrities. Like, like, I would have wanted to do that, but I couldn't do that.
Like, I knew I couldn't do that.

Speaker 2 Like, it was something like...

Speaker 2 I had like a responsibility, I guess you would say, to like address that.

Speaker 2 And so like that was that was kind of stressful for me because i was like i was put in this like really impossible i did it to myself i didn't have to say yes but like i i found myself in this like really impossible uh position like where i was like oh i have to like

Speaker 2 make a monologue that explains my reason for being here

Speaker 2 and and why and like and not only not just to like put them in their place but also to like to try and articulate my excitement for these types of nights and like the evening.

Speaker 2 I do think that art should be celebrated. I do think this is a good thing.
And I do like, so I was in a really tough position.

Speaker 2 So like those are kind of like mirror, like kind of, like wore white and wore black in one. So it's kind of like angel devil mirrors of monologues, but but both I got a little nervous,

Speaker 2 you know, just at like getting the words right. Like, what am I going to say? Like, yeah, I was a little nervous for both of those.

Speaker 2 those maybe i'll do it again no well the golden gloves would never have me back

Speaker 2 they they i like i'm i'm telling you they will they would never they would never let me do it again which in some ways is kind of an honor i guess like i'm like they they would never okay but if you if you if you if you had to host the headlines were just like they're like like i was like making people cry

Speaker 2 so

Speaker 2 you went full pregnant lady pregnant lady yeah yeah yeah i went for pregnant woman honest. Gotcha.
And like, yeah,

Speaker 2 they would never.

Speaker 2 I know that for a fact.

Speaker 3 Okay, so would you.

Speaker 2 I knew that by the first commercial rate.

Speaker 2 Because

Speaker 2 I went to the dressing room. I was like, well, this is obviously...
This is the last time I'll ever.

Speaker 2 Do you guys want me to do it? I don't even want to do it. I didn't even want to do it.
I wanted to do it, though. Okay.

Speaker 3 You were like, do you want me to leave now? First commercial product.

Speaker 2 Do you guys want me to leave?

Speaker 2 There are certain producers that would have been really happy about just like if i just like just rolled out yeah yeah it was so strange i walked there from i was staying at a hotel around the corner like they they asked for the monologue

Speaker 2 like

Speaker 2 like nbc legals asked for the monologue i wouldn't give it to them like i like i refused to give the monologue because i didn't know the monologue so i i didn't know um they told me i had three minutes i took seven

Speaker 2 But it was, I felt like I needed to say it.

Speaker 2 I had like things to get off my chest. So I was like, I need to say this.

Speaker 2 And then I walked back alone to the hotel. I didn't go to any party.
I just like, I walked from.

Speaker 2 You're like, I'm like, walking back. I'm done working.
I'm going to go.

Speaker 2 Yeah, walked back to the hotel and went to sleep and flew back to New York. Okay.

Speaker 3 How about SNL? Would you do SNL again?

Speaker 2 Maybe. That was fun.
Okay.

Speaker 2 That was fun.

Speaker 3 That was fun. Let's manifest it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. No,

Speaker 2 that was cool.

Speaker 3 Okay, so you should do SNL again.

Speaker 2 Yeah, if they have me, yeah, yeah, yeah. Perfect.
Let's manifest it. That'd be fun, we'll manifest it.
Yeah, um, they listen to you, they listen to you if you

Speaker 2 want to do it.

Speaker 3 I actually, yeah, come on, Gerard wants to do it again.

Speaker 2 You hold a lot of money again.

Speaker 3 I want Gerard to do it again, yeah.

Speaker 2 Do I hold a lot of influence? Yeah, you'll come in, yeah, that's the case.

Speaker 3 I'll come if Gerard hosts it, you'll come, you'll come, the fan will come.

Speaker 2 I'm inviting myself, yeah, no, we'll make a whole like night out of it.

Speaker 3 Uh, now I'd love to talk to you a little bit more about your acting career. Oh, no, because as the real ones know, I'm a Transformer Super fan.

Speaker 2 Oh, and that was fun. I was talking about that the other day.
Because, like, we were, man, like,

Speaker 2 I did Transformers because it was like Michael Bay. Yeah.
I had a meeting with Michael Bay. He was like, you want to do it? I'm like, yeah, of course.
I'll do this. What else was I doing this summer?

Speaker 2 We're shooting in

Speaker 2 Michigan,

Speaker 2 outside of Detroit, in Birmingham. There's this hotel called The Townsend.

Speaker 2 And I was like, they made me eight cookies every night. And I was watching.
Anyway, I love that experience. This is a great Italian restaurant across the street from the Townsend.

Speaker 2 I can tell you more about that than like the movie. Like, I'll tell you about the experience.

Speaker 3 Can we just, why eight?

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 I was eating.

Speaker 3 I was. Were they for you? All eight cookies?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I used to,

Speaker 2 I used to eat, I used to bake eight cookies and watch the daily show.

Speaker 2 That was my nightly ritual. Like, like Monday through Thursday, I would bake eight cookies, watch Daily Show, or like Colbert Rapport,

Speaker 2 and that was like my thing. And then, like, now I'm an adult, so I can't have eight cookies every night.
I'm taught

Speaker 2 by healthcare professionals that one should not

Speaker 2 have

Speaker 2 so many cookies.

Speaker 2 That's lame. So, I no longer have those cookies.

Speaker 2 No, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And my boyfriend wouldn't let me either, but he's keeping me alive.
Okay.

Speaker 3 This is a conscious decision.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel okay.

Speaker 2 I want them.

Speaker 2 I want them.

Speaker 3 And I have to do it. Do you at least do it once a night then? Once a week, then?

Speaker 2 No, no.

Speaker 3 And the cookies have changed. And are we cooking?

Speaker 2 So the cookies have changed. So

Speaker 2 I grew up on Pillsbury. Then I switched to Nestle Toll House.

Speaker 2 Then I did Nestle Toll House Chocolate Lovers Chocolate Chunk Place and Bake.

Speaker 2 Now,

Speaker 2 now

Speaker 2 Jock Torres

Speaker 2 makes

Speaker 2 like a cookie mix.

Speaker 2 They're giant. I'm going to send you some Jock Torres.

Speaker 2 I'm not even shitting you. I'm going to send you some Jock Torres cookie mix.
I got like four boxes in the cabinet. I should have brought you one.
And I make these like large cookies.

Speaker 2 I can only make four at a time.

Speaker 2 But they're the best cookies ever. I'm a chocolate chip.

Speaker 3 I'm glad that you've beat the system.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 You are no longer doing eight cookies.

Speaker 2 I do four large. Yeah, yeah.
I do four. And I say they're for everybody, but they're like really for me.
Yeah. I'm a chocolate chip cookie.

Speaker 3 like that connoisseur yeah yeah um all of your acting role of all your acting roles in tvs and movies what was your favorite

Speaker 2 so

Speaker 2 yeah like i i

Speaker 2 acting is something i'm like i i can do it but i'm not like like I was like, I was like really bad in my last role and that kind of throw. I was like really bad in poor things.

Speaker 2 And I'm next to like the greatest living actor. Like

Speaker 2 Emma is just like incredible. And I'm like,

Speaker 2 I was like kind of out of my depth. And like just trying, and I respect Yorgo so much.
He's like so,

Speaker 2 like, he's one of my favorite filmmakers, but just trying to find my footing in it.

Speaker 2 And like often when I'm acting in something, it's something that I either I also wrote or like I've

Speaker 2 been directing or like like that it's mine. So I'm so concerned about production that I haven't been able to just like get lost in a role to like fully like

Speaker 2 I think if I did it now, I think it would be different like after reality show and and like like like

Speaker 2 I have a different relationship with cameras now. So it may be

Speaker 2 better, but like, yeah, I usually have not liked it.

Speaker 3 Now, the last question I have for you, I often ask parents what the best parenting advice they've ever received, but I would like to ask you, what is the best comedy advice?

Speaker 2 Probably something like Bo has told me, you know, like

Speaker 2 the way to not be cool is to try to be cool.

Speaker 2 It's great advice. That's very

Speaker 2 like if you try to be cool, it'll be the least cool thing you've ever done.

Speaker 3 Thank you so much for joining me today. I cannot thank you enough.

Speaker 3 This was amazing.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 3 Your new special is outstanding. Thank you.

Speaker 3 It is called Don't Be Gay. It is on HBO Max streaming now.

Speaker 3 I encourage everyone to go watch it because apparently that's the only reason why Gerard should be. Please watch this.

Speaker 2 Gerard's out in the wild. I'm out in the wild.
Like, please watch it. You should.
It's hilarious.

Speaker 3 It was incredible.

Speaker 3 And thank you so much for being here.

Speaker 2 Thanks for having me.

Speaker 3 And that's a wrap on another episode of Not Gonna Lie. You can find even more clips from my longer conversation with Gerard on my YouTube channel on More Shit Monday.

Speaker 3 I'll be back next Thursday with a brand new episode. Follow Not Gonna Lie on all social media at NGL with Kylie.
Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 3 Get your official NGL merch at nglkylie.com. Knockin' a Lie is a wave original brought to you by Visible.
Live in the know. Thanks to the real ones for tuning in.