Kylie on Rooting For Travis, WNBA's FAFO Energy & Banned Kids TV Shows with Jerrod Carmichael | Ep. 28

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Not gonna lie, we're at the beach.

So if you hear kids stomping, I can't help you.

Let's get this podcast started.

Welcome back to Not Gonna Lie, a wave original brought to you by Visible, live in the Know.

I'm your host, Kylie Kelsey.

I was reluctantly in a documentary called Kelsey.

According to Sharon on YouTube, I have a potty mouth.

Thanks, Sharon.

And I unfortunately do know what a laboo boo is.

They're haunting me.

I saw one hanging off of someone's purse.

I'm not sure if it was a laboo or a lefufu.

What are we doing?

Also, people calling it a bag charm.

It's not a bag charm.

It's a keychain.

The fuck?

Also, you can see I'm taping from our Shorehouse set today.

Jason...

went on record saying that my setup makes him look

better

which

i think think it's very hard for him to look bad so let's start there but second that is almost to me saying

that

this is enhancing for me also when I came in to put my headphones on they were stretched out it was like the cutest little like oh he was here but also

I look good without these lights I almost I almost said it with my whole chest almost then I was like

they're really helping the bags under my eyes.

Okay, coming up on today's episode, NFL Training Camp starts this week.

So I'm going to get honest about our family's experience with Eagles Camp over the years.

After that, you're going to hear my conversation with Emmy Award-winning stand-up comedian Gerard Carmichael.

I had no business talking to Gerard, but it was

incredible.

We got to chat for the first time ever in Buffalo

when Jason jumped out of the suite and did his whole like, ah,

shirtless.

But before we get to that, quick merch update.

We've officially restocked and extended our range of sizes on our merch.

We've got you, real ones.

Check it out now at nglkylie.com.

Queen Emma knows that I can't let this one go.

So if anyone knows a person who owns NGL with Kylie.com and they want to rat them out or they want to, you know, come forward themselves, like just

come forward and tell us.

We want to know.

We just want to have a conversation.

All right, moving on.

Let's get into the brand new edition of Can I Be Honest?

This week.

Can I be honest about NFL training camp?

I'm going to be.

This is now the second training camp since my husband has retired.

So I want you to take all of these thoughts with a grain of salt.

I know we are two years removed now, and it's lovely.

For anyone who isn't familiar with the NFL, as of today, 32 teams have officially started training camp.

That's basically preseason.

Okay.

Another name for it.

The

Eagles have the option for the guys to stay overnight.

Jason, when we were living in the suburbs, would often just move down to the hotel because they are there for so many hours during the day.

And then all he does is go to sleep, get up, and do the exact same thing the next day.

And then they would get one day off a week.

And he would come home the night before,

be home all day the next day, and then report back.

The best part about being a spouse during preseason is when preseason's over.

It's not great.

Even when Jason would stay at home for training camp,

it was still the only thing we got to do was like sleep next to each other.

So he wasn't home for dinner.

He wasn't home for breakfast.

So while Jason was playing, we had Wyatt, Ellie, and Benny.

So

in an effort for the girls to see Jason and to get to play with him and sort of enjoy some time, we would go to training camp probably once or twice a week.

But the girls would love to go to training camp for two reasons.

Number one,

Rita's water race.

And number two, they got to play with Jason on the field afterwards.

There's a lot of videos over the years that have come out, specifically Jason playing with the trash cans.

People were bothered by that

because it was a trash can.

But what you don't know is that at those practices, those trash cans are just used to store footballs.

So it's not gross.

There wasn't trash in the trash can prior to my children being in the trash can.

So not that weird.

That does it for Can I Be Honest about Training Camp.

Moving on, let's get to Doom Scroll of the week.

First up on Doom Scroll, the WNBA all-stars made a statement in badass fashion.

Okay.

When they came out for their warm-ups, their t-shirts said, pay us what you owe us.

Nafisa Collier from the Minnesota Links said it best.

Queen Emma, the clip.

What do you mean by what you owe us?

You know, the players of what is what is building this brand and this league.

There is no league without the players and you know the past present the ones coming out they're the ones that that have put in the blood, sweat, and tears for the new money that's coming in.

And so we feel like we are a moment of piece of that pie that we helped to create.

This feels very much like fuck around and find out energy.

The league fucking around, the players said, find out, check out my shirt, you know?

These WNBA players currently make 9% of the league's revenue, which is

low.

You want to know why I know it's low?

Because the NBA players make 50% of the league's revenue.

That's crazy.

That is a massive disparity.

Players,

they're just looking for a larger share of the revenue.

And this is an important point.

They are not looking to be paid as much as the men.

Okay, they're not looking for that because I think that's important to share.

A lot of people, when they take issue with these conversations, are having issue with the fact that the women's side of the sports are not bringing in the same amount of revenue.

And so, therefore, how are they supposed to be paid out at the same level as the men?

Obviously,

the WNBA knows what they're negotiating.

The people whose argument is that they are not bringing in as much money as the men can kick rocks because that's not what the WNBA is trying to do.

The new media rights for the WNBA will be worth $2.2 billion if they have increased

their

value in media by six times,

then we need to jump that percentage so that the players can get paid out appropriately.

As Nafisa said, they're the ones who are creating the entertainment to bring in this revenue.

They are the personalities that people are latching onto.

They are the athletes that people are there to support.

They are why the fans are there.

You're not getting money unless those women are on that court.

We're going to have in the WNBA three new teams by 2030.

Shout out, Philly.

The ratings are up 23%.

Ticket sales are up 26% since last year.

We know that this has only sparked a fire that is burning bright.

Okay.

We are watching women's sports more than ever, but we need to make sure that our female athletes know that they can be compensated appropriately for being someone worth following.

They are role models to young women everywhere, and they are bringing in the revenue that they should get a share of.

I love these shirts.

I love the fuck around and find out energy.

And to round out my doom scroll, I scrolled my way to an article from The Wrap.

with some news about one of my favorite kids TV shows.

The headline says, Miss Rachel was the seventh most watched show on Netflix in the first half of 2025.

It was also the most watched season of children's television on Netflix.

Miss Rachel, go off.

We love that.

I have said multiple times that we love Miss Rachel, and Miss Rachel is great because she sings the songs that you would love.

She does legitimate speech pathology tactics and

practices within the show.

And also,

my kids love her.

Since I'm talking...

Miss Rachel, I figured now would be a great time to debut a new NGL guide for parents looking for screen time recommendations this summer.

As always, these are my personal opinions about kids' shows.

That doesn't mean you need to agree.

And if you watch any of the ones that I may or may not talk some smack about,

that's great.

I'm gonna be honest, I have no other way to function.

So, presenting my no-lie parents' guide to kids TV.

It's my first category.

Put this on if you want something educational, but the music also slaps.

Miss Rachel,

obvious.

Okay.

Little bunny sleeping.

We were on that so hard.

I can't tell you how many videos I have of my children pretending to go to sleep on the living room floor before they hopped the crap out of the rest of the song.

Also, Sesame Street.

It's a throwback.

Big Bird is aging like fine wine.

Really, I want to know his skincare routine because he doesn't look a day older than when I used to watch him when I was little.

It's crazy.

The second category, I've seen every episode a hundred times, and I'm actually okay with that.

I'm going to tell you one of my favorite ones, and I think I am,

I think this is most parents' favorites, bluey.

First of all, short episodes.

I love that because before bed, we can say one, two, three episodes.

Even if you watch three episodes, you're barely hitting the threshold that you would hit if you watch one episode of something else.

I love that.

Another one that is very re-watchable, Peppa Pig.

Simple.

It is

lovely.

It is

honestly kind of funny.

Have you seen Daddy Pig?

Zabooma Fu.

This is...

This is mine.

Zabumifu is mine.

I put it on selfishly.

I love that lemur.

I love that he looks a little unhinged.

I've said it before and I'll say it again.

That show is for me.

Third category, shows from my childhood.

I want them to appreciate.

The big comfy couch is the first one.

Lunette and Molly are just hanging out on a couch.

There's some dust bunnies underneath.

They pull things out of the cushions.

It's a great show.

The other shows that we watch from my childhood is Spongebob,

classic.

I don't need to explain myself.

PB and J Otter.

I can literally, the second I said that, it started the, whoa,

it's, it's stuck in my head.

And the last one,

Bear in the Big Blue House.

When he leans forward and sniffs the screen in the beginning, it looks just like Blue.

It's so cute.

I miss that dog.

The fourth category is shows to put on when mom needs to get other shit done.

Okay.

Big one, dishes.

Anything of like

that I can't have kids interested in.

Sometimes it's just a matter of sending an email, or maybe I can't do something while someone's talking to me.

So I need to give them one episode of something.

And these are the shows that I, these are the shows that I put on.

Number one, Tots.

I'm pretty sure I've expressed our love for Tots on here.

Tots, number one, we listen to the soundtrack in the car.

Outstanding.

It's very good, underrated soundtrack.

I have woken up multiple times at 2 a.m.

singing the song in my head.

They just get stuck in there.

And the other one, Puppy Pals, Bingo and Roly are up to something.

Category five, what the fuck is going on here?

These are shows that

I really just have, I have a lot of questions.

Number one, Yogaba Gabba.

What the fuck?

I'm sorry,

what are they?

If you've not seen that, you should look it up.

Just just google yo gabba gabba and you will literally say what the fuck uh chicken squad why are chickens doing missions why are they doing missions

i'm confused i like chickens but i'm confused about this show the last category no offense but it's banned from my house okay um These shows are banned for a multitude of reasons.

Some of them, I'm pretty sure there are

studies that have shown that these shows

are not

correct.

They shouldn't be.

Let's just get into it.

Number one, Cocomelon.

No.

Aggressively no.

So no that if Cocomelon comes up on any of the screens, my daughters say, oh, we're not allowed to watch that because I have doubled, tripled, quadrupled down.

We are not watching Cocomelon in our house.

I do think that we should question

anything that locks kids in the way Cocomelon locks them in,

specifically

as early as Cocomelon does.

Now, if you don't have kids yet or you haven't seen Cocomelon,

you might think I'm being

a little unreasonable and a little dramatic, but you're fucking wrong.

It is, it is not good.

Sorry, Coco Melon.

No, I'm not.

I'm not, oh, you're not allowed in my house.

Don't come over.

I'm not answering the door.

Blippy.

I don't even know where to start with this one.

Blippy is weird to me.

I don't like it.

I don't, I understand that some of it is educational.

I understand that it started

like as an educational base.

I'm good.

Teletubbies.

This one is banned for a very specific reason.

Ellie thinks it's creepy.

They have TVs in their bellies.

What?

This, teletubbies could kind of double.

They could, they cross categories here because they could definitely go in category five with what the fuck is going on here.

But they are also very much banned from our house.

So teletubbies.

Both category five and category six.

Let's just go there.

Last thing on my kids' TV guide, you'll notice I listed Sesame Street, a PBS show, in the top tier here.

And that's because it's a timeless educational institution that everyone deserves to access.

You see what I'm saying?

Everyone

deserves access

to PBS.

Don't worry.

I'll be making a donation to the local PBS station.

I encourage others to do the same.

And that does it for Doom Scroll of the Week.

Gerard Carmichael is coming up right after this message from me about Visible.

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He's the Emmy Award-winning stand-up comedian, writer, and actor you know from the Carmichael Show and his comedy comedy special, Rathaniel.

He's also hosted the Golden Globes and Saturday Night Live, and he just released a brand new stand-up special called Don't Be Gay on HBO Max.

And now he's officially, not gonna lie, Gerard Carmichael, welcome to the show.

Hey,

it is

funny here in the title.

Oh, it is called Don't Be Gay.

Happy Pride, everyone.

For anyone who doesn't know, we met the first time at my brother-in-law's game in Buffalo.

We were in Buffalo.

We were in Buffalo.

why did we choose buffalo you know because we like excitement we like an adventure we like to see people shirtless jumping through flames yeah now when you were introduced to like our family because my mother-in-law was there i believe my father-in-law was there with us as well when you were introduced to the kelseys did you think that it was going to end up with someone shirtless jumping out of the suite i you you can't really expect that you can't expect that because you don't you think you meet a family and you don't expect anybody to take their shirt off.

They'll be on their best behavior.

Yeah, yeah, but

it was fun.

Your mother-in-law is really cool.

Yeah.

Speaking of not gonna lie, right?

I really,

this I, every, I meet her and like, she's like so nice and so kind and sees past all my bullshit.

Like, that's why I love, like, I'm just like, like, I can't, I don't do the fake voice work because she's like, it's not, it's not going to work.

And she's just, she's like, I love her.

Did she make you work for it a little bit?

Yeah.

that's why i like because it's just like none of that she's like save it like with like like sweet it's she's not mean at all but no very sweet very sweet but just like i don't need this that's

i don't need the thing that you're like hey nice

how's the weather like i don't need that she doesn't want small talk she doesn't want small talk i love that

i love that i love that go ahead no you we have the photo that was right there of jason yeah that was great because jason's really i mean he really just

he embraced it he embraced it and that was cool.

That was really cool.

We're all like, we're all just like, wow, is this really

shirtless outfit?

Look at the rest of the suite behind him.

We, before that game, ended up in this little corner bar.

Yeah.

That I don't know if they were known for near, like anything particular, but it was.

It felt to me like that is how you're supposed to experience Buffalo.

So you got there early.

Yeah.

You're at a corner bar.

You're just like to hang out.

Yeah.

Get to know the locals.

locals.

This is your first time in Buffalo.

This was my first time in Buffalo.

And we ended up sitting at a table.

I didn't even end up sitting at the same table as my husband.

Like we were, we were split.

I'm telling you, it was like a very, you got to be amongst the people.

He's, yeah, he was deep in it.

Yeah, yeah.

And we were getting like paper boats of bar food.

Okay.

Like it was just, it was very, it was

like, you know, like when you go to like a, like a fair and they had the checked like paper boats.

And so they were just bringing out like pieces of pizza.

And I was just like, what are we?

Yeah.

What's happening?

And all the people in there were lovely.

They were so excited to see Jason.

They were telling him how much they enjoyed watching him play.

Yeah.

I think it was important that he was not a rival team.

Like they were not in the same conference.

And so it wasn't a threat.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He came in peace.

He was able to be right.

It was a diplomacy mission.

Very much.

Yeah.

No, but

I remember being in a corner like with you and just like, like, where it was safe.

Right?

Just like we were hiding in the back, we were kind of hiding in the back, and like, it was like really safe.

I was like, asking, I was like, asking about food in Philly.

We were in a comfort conversation back then.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was definitely safe.

Thank you very much for that.

No, absolutely.

I did notice that you wore red to the game.

Yeah.

Are you a Chiefs fan?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

My loyalty is with them.

Like, because I grew up in North Carolina, but like, my dad was a cow or is a Cowboys fan.

So that was like in the house.

Like Cowboy, we had an Emmett Smith corner.

Yeah.

Just like posters.

Just like Michael Irving and Troy Aikman and all that was like dolls and mugs and all those things were around the house.

Right.

But you had more sense about you.

Yeah.

Well, so I, my, my into football was through Madden.

I played Madden a lot.

Perfect.

So I grew up playing Madden and playing.

I played with the Colts and I played with

who else had I played with?

I was like Indianapolis Colts for a long time, and then I was like, I had no loyalty, sure, I had no loyalty.

And then Travis was nice to me, and I said, I will follow you wherever you go.

Like, that's really how, like, like Travis, like, like, Travis gave me a hug, and I've like, I, I, like, wear, like, Chiefs hat,

you were tomorrow.

I like, wear, like, pajamas, like, like, my boyfriend, like, wears a Chiefs hat every day.

Like, we're immediately sold.

We're like, yeah, yeah, no, you were.

And the whole team, like, like, they're, I've met some of them

so awesome.

Like, they're so cool.

So, I'm definitely a Chiefs fan.

I just cannot explain to you how much I love the fact that you did not go Cowboys.

I didn't go Cowboys.

I didn't go Cowboys.

It almost

because my dad went so hard, it wouldn't allow me to.

You kind of have to rebel against your

father.

Like, he likes so hard.

That's that's his, he'll meet anybody on the streets, and it's probably like his first question to them is like, How do you feel about the Cowboys?

Like, and every year, and I just watched them go.

I'm just for him to ask me that question.

Yeah, I know, But I watch, but to be a Cowboys' house was like, it was, it was really easy for like a couple years in the 90s.

Yep.

And just devastating.

For the most part, it's just like

over and over, like, devastating.

This is our year.

This is our year.

I heard it.

How much disappointment can you take?

How much disappointment can you take?

I don't even know who's playing for the Cowboys right now, but I just know my dad is sad.

That's okay.

We'll say Go Birds and Go Cheese.

October from like October to Christmas.

He's so sad.

Yes.

God.

It's not seasonal depression, guys.

It's the Cowboys.

It has nothing to do with the weather.

He's just sad for the Cowboys.

Yeah, every autumn.

Year after year.

Yeah.

Well, at least we came, we know better.

But were you, how into football were you pre, like?

My dad only had two girls, me and my sister.

Yeah.

So I was his stand-in son to watch football.

So I grew up watching football.

Really?

Who'd you root for?

The Eagles.

Yeah, really?

Okay.

Wow.

Yeah.

Wow, you really did it.

You really did it.

You committed.

Well, it got to a point where, like, I, when Jason and I were dating, where I was like, hey, like, if you ever play for any other team, like, hypothetically,

hypothetically speaking, if you ended up with the Cowboys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yikes.

What was your dad like when you're like...

My dad was very mad.

Really?

Yeah.

Cause he thought

typical athlete,

you're going to be a bimbo, like perceived the bimbo.

Um, and then he met Jason and was like, oh, yeah, I get it.

Oh, that's great.

Yeah.

No, I've seen Jason change hearts.

Oh, he's like in lovable.

I see him like change people's hearts.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He jumped out of that suite to give people hugs.

He's so good.

He's like, what?

What are we, yeah?

Chug beers and give hugs.

That really, that sums him up

yeah yeah suggest him sums him up quite well yeah can you tell me i i do want to know about having a kid because i really want to get one of those okay yeah and like right now

like me and my boyfriend we get in arguments over our hypothetical child sure like like we like how you raising him how you raising them how we're raising them schooling i'm pro public school he went to a private school sure uh like right now our hypothetical child's name is bento he's half black half Japanese.

Bento.

Yeah, yeah, I got that.

Is that a nickname or that?

It's a little nickname.

That's first.

It's a little nickname for him, but like, yeah, it's like Lil Bento, and we talk about Bento a lot.

But we're not going to make Bento his government name, are we?

Who knows?

You know, who knows?

My name's Rothaniel, so anything goes.

I love that.

It could be anything.

Okay, but Lil Bento.

But like

he could have like Ben or Ben.

He could go by Ben or Benny if he doesn't feel committed to it.

I love this.

maybe it's universal.

Or maybe if you can put quotation marks on the birth certificate, maybe it's that.

My question is:

how do you make a cool kid?

Because it's really important to me that the child is cool.

That's all I talk about.

And like my boyfriend talks about education.

And like, first of all, with like being gay, it's like we got too many options.

Like, cause like, like, our baby will come via, like, like, my lawyer will know first

Like, you know, like it'll be like a lot of paperwork sign and I gotta like fly a woman in from a way.

Like it's a lot.

It's like a lot of flights and paperwork before a child is in my home.

Yes.

So it's already too many decisions.

Pre-child.

Like what do you do to keep the kids cool?

I have no fucking clue.

Because like they have huge shoes to fill as far as coolness.

I'm not even talking about like career.

I'm not talking about achievements.

I'm talking about just cool parents.

And I feel the same.

Like, I feel like I'm pretty cool.

Very.

Thank you.

I feel like they absorb some.

They all have to absorb some of them.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I do think that they come out who they are.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's hard to

see.

You're just kind of there to like

keep them safe and like

keep them alive.

Yeah, keep them alive.

Yep.

And

hope for the best.

But do you try and imprint?

Because it'd be really hard for me not to do the thing, like I told you.

I think, I think, just

like being yourself, yeah, in the way that you interact with your kids,

it

they sort of like pick up on all of that.

And so they start to have little bits of your tendencies regardless.

But the most beautiful thing about you choosing to have kids is that it is the most intentional

child

and family.

Yeah, that's beautiful.

Yeah, I And it's too shocking.

I would love to have life not be about me.

It's so me.

My life is so me.

All day.

But are you enjoying it?

Yeah.

No, I like it, but it's like, I'm kind of like exhausted by it.

It's just like me, me, me.

I love to have it be about someone else.

Sure.

Like, oh, like now the focus, the energy, like the choice.

Like, I have to consider someone else.

Like, that would be nice.

It's growth.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I like to grow up.

Yeah, I guess that's what I'm trying to say.

I didn't say grow up.

You say grow up.

You know, I need to say, I say growth.

No, I need to grow up.

Well, I'd love to get into your career a little bit.

Oh, that's it.

Now that we've got that.

I do want to talk about that.

All right.

We'll get back to Bento.

First of all, congratulations.

Yeah, we'll come back to Bento.

Don't worry.

I'm coming back.

Congratulations on your brand new stand-up.

Thank you.

Don't be gay.

Thank you very much.

Streaming now on HBO.

Max,

how do you feel that it's out in the world?

Does it feel good?

I want more people to watch it.

Perfect.

That's what I'm here to do.

That'd be nice.

It'd be good.

I just want more people to watch it.

Like, I'm really happy because I worked on it for like a year and a half.

And this is the most I've ever worked on a set.

Like, because

in my career, I had like gotten distracted.

I was like doing other things while doing stand-up.

And so it was always, I had like a TV show or like something else.

And this was just stand-up, like just going on the road, going to the clubs in the city and just working, working, like crafting.

So I'm really proud of it.

And so like, yeah, like, I, and it's jokes.

It's just, it's, the craziest thing I'm doing now is like telling jokes.

Because I didn't really do that.

I didn't like do that for my last special.

Like my last special was like emotional.

And it was like, you know, but, but this one is just jokes.

So I want people to watch it.

And it was very funny.

Thank you very much.

One of my favorite parts of the special is early on when you're talking about celebrities who claim they don't read the comments.

Yeah, yeah.

I was reading everything.

I believe we have the clip here, Queen Emma.

You ever like hear celebrities say shit, like, oh, I don't really check Twitter.

I don't read the comments.

They are lying to you.

Everyone reads every word, even the reclusive celebrities.

Like, if you want to get a message to Daniel Day-Lewis,

all you got to do is tweet, hey, Daniel Day-Lewis, fuck you.

And he's in the refection.

I know.

He's like making shoes somewhere.

Mine is over.

Yeah, yeah.

Just like he's like in Ireland, like cobbling some shoes and like, and it and is scrolling.

I mean, so I'm, I'm on record as saying that I don't really read the comments.

You don't read the comments.

No, but there's a couple things that work here.

I'm not a celebrity, so it doesn't apply to me.

I don't know.

Second.

I don't know.

Second.

I read some of the comments, but it's only when I find the time to read the comments.

Like, mine is a time.

You're actually too busy to, yeah, yeah.

I can't lock in and also

for humans alive, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Distract me from the comments.

Like, I just need, I need to look at you so I stop reading about me.

So, I don't read anymore

because my feelings have been hurting

so much that I cannot read anymore.

Sure.

So, when's the last time?

Um,

it's been it's been like a year,

been like a year and some change since I searched my name.

I had the the uh reality show um come out.

I made a reality show.

Yes, and then I was like reading comments all day and like just looking at like comments, TikTok,

you know, like that's part of the problem is there's so many people.

Oh, you just you leave one app and go to the next app.

Like, you're just like, You're done on YouTube.

Now I'm on TikTok.

I'm done on TikTok.

I'm now on Instagram.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then, and then it's like 11 o'clock.

I'm like, oh, I forgot to wish my mom happy birthday.

I've been doing this for 12 hours and I forgot to like, yeah.

Life was happening around me.

Yeah, yeah.

And so just searching, searching, searching.

But I haven't done that in like a year, a year and some change.

And how's that feel?

Pretty good.

Pretty good.

Are you curious?

Like sometimes.

But the thing is, nobody talks shit to your face.

Nope.

So I get to live in this bubble where I think just everybody likes me.

Do you know I tell people that when they stop my husband and then they apologize to me, it's always the same.

It's the same sequence of events.

They stop my husband, like, can we get a picture?

Yes.

Then they turn, or the person with them turns to me and says, I'm so sorry for interrupting your day.

I'm like, no, it's totally fine.

They're like, ah, this must get really annoying.

And I always say the same thing.

No one walks up to him and tells him, wow, you're a real asshole.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Whoever walks up to him is like, you're one of the best centers who ever played football.

And I'm like, thank you.

Yeah, but that's so sweet.

Yeah, that's all.

That's all you get.

You're right.

Yeah, people don't talk shit to your face.

They should start, though well i would if you're gonna say it's well a pregnant woman

a pregnant woman would yeah a pregnant woman would be like i know i don't like you and i never liked you but but like people are nice in person so like i get to live i i like that i like just like walking around and having like

who doesn't love receiving love so that's been nice

That's that is such a good point.

This new comedy special is your fourth one.

Does every new one become your favorite or do you have a favorite?

Oh, that's a oh, yeah.

Oh, like children.

Oh, like the children.

Yeah.

It depends on the day.

Yeah, it depends on the day.

Yeah, well, well, every every new one, every new one is, you know,

like exactly where you, where I am.

Yeah, applicable to that time of life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So like it, you kind of,

a friend of mine said that like like he makes art to catch people up with him.

And I get that.

Like, oh, this is exactly where I am here.

Because I almost had to put this out because, like, my last special, I was like in a fetal position, like, like, sad.

And so, like, people would be like, part of the, like, oh, good to see you.

Like, I hope everything's okay.

A lot of like, like, like the general, like, like, like, I hope you're okay.

Yeah.

So now it's just like, oh, you see, good to see you out.

Yeah, yeah, good to see you out.

I'm so glad you got out of the house today.

Remember, like, because last time I saw you, you were crying.

Um, like I mentioned in your intro, you've hosted some huge shows, The Golden Globes and Saturday Night Live, which

you were nominated for an ME for.

Yeah, yeah.

Which were you more nervous for, or do you not get nervous?

It was like different processes.

Like for both, I didn't know what I was going to say basically until it was live.

Like for

SNL,

I spent the week annoyed because I needed to talk about like, it was like the Oscar slap.

It just happened.

And it like, it had stole.

I'm just coming out.

I just come out.

I got a new special.

I'm like, I'm wearing a white suit with no shirt.

This is about me.

And then all of a sudden it's like, oh, I guess I have to talk about like this thing that happened.

So like just trying to find a way to like.

address that without like so I was annoyed I was annoyed that but I had fun doing it like I had fun doing the monologue, but I was like annoyed all week.

And kind of the same thing for the Globes that like, I'm like the first black host of this thing.

And, you know, like, it's like 80 years of the show.

They never had like a black host.

They come off like this race scandal.

And

now I'm here.

Right.

And it's just like, hey, just smile and make jokes about the celebrities.

Like, like, I would have wanted to do that, but I couldn't do that.

Like, I knew I couldn't do that.

Like, it was something like

I had like a responsibility, I guess you would say, to like address that.

And so, like, that was, that was kind of stressful for me because I was like, I was put in this like really impossible.

I did it to myself.

I didn't have to say yes, but like, I found myself in this like really impossible

position, like, where I was like, oh, I have to like

make a monologue that explains my reason for being here.

And, and why, and like, and not only, not just to like put them in their place, but also to, like to try and articulate my excitement for these types of nights.

And like the evening, I do think that art should be celebrated.

I do think this is a good thing.

And I do, so I was in a really tough position.

So those are kind of like mirror, like kind of.

I wore white and wore black in one.

So it was kind of like angel devil mirrors of monologues.

But both, I got a little nervous,

you know, just at like getting the words right.

Like, what am I going to say?

Like, yeah, I was a little nervous for both of those.

Maybe I'll do it again.

No, well, the Golden Gloves would never have me back.

I'm telling you,

they would never let me do it again, which in some ways is kind of an honor, I guess.

I'm like, they would never.

Okay, but

if you had to host.

The headlines were just like, they're like,

I was like making people cry.

You went full

pregnant lady?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I went for pregnant woman honest.

Gotcha.

And like, yeah,

they would never.

Like, I know that for a fact.

Okay, so would you.

I knew that by the first commercial work.

Because

I went to the dressing room.

I was like, well, this is obviously...

This is the last time I'll ever.

Do you guys want to?

I don't even want to do it.

I didn't even want to do it.

I wanted to do it, though.

Okay.

You were like, do you want me to leave now?

First commercial.

Do you guys want me me to leave now?

There are certain producers that would have been really happy about it.

Just like, if I just like just rolled out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was so strange.

I walked there.

I was staying at a hotel around the corner.

Like they, they asked for the monologue.

Like NBC Legals asked for the monologue.

I wouldn't give it to them.

Like, I refused to give the monologue because I didn't know the monologue.

So I didn't know.

They told me I had three minutes.

I took seven.

But it was, I felt like I needed to say it.

I had like things to get off my chest.

I was like, I need to say this.

Yep.

And then I walked back alone to the hotel.

I didn't go to any party.

I just like, I walked from,

yeah, walked back to the hotel and went to sleep and flew back to New York.

Okay.

How about SNL?

Would you do SNL again?

Maybe.

That was fun.

Okay.

That was fun.

That was fun.

Let's manifest it.

Yeah, yeah.

No,

that was cool.

Okay, so you should do SNL again.

Yeah, if they have me, yeah, yeah.

That'd be perfect.

Let's manifest it.

That'd be funny.

We'll manifest it.

They'd listen to you.

They'd listen to you if you

told them to do it.

Yeah.

Come on.

Gerard wants to do it again.

You hold a lot of time.

I want Gerard to do it again.

Yeah.

Do I hold a lot of impression?

Yeah, you'll come in.

Yeah, that's the case.

I'll come if Gerard hosts it.

You'll come.

You'll come.

The fan will come.

I'm inviting myself.

Yeah, no, we'll make a whole night out of it.

Now, I'd love to talk to you a little bit more about your acting career.

Oh, no.

Because, as the real ones ones know i'm a transformer super fan oh and that was fun i was talking about that the other day because like we were man like i i i did transformers because it's like michael bay yeah i had a meeting with michael bay and he was like you want to do it i'm like yeah of course i'll do this what else was i doing this summer we're shooting in um

in michigan uh in uh outside of detroit in um Birmingham.

There's this hotel called the Townsend.

And I was like, they made me eight cookies every night.

And I was watching.

Anyway, I love that experience.

This is a great Italian restaurant across the street from The Townsend.

I can tell you more about that than like the movie.

Like, I'll tell you about the experience.

Can we just...

Why eight?

Yeah,

I was eating.

Were they for you?

All eight cookies?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I used to

eat, I used to bake eight cookies and watch The Daily Show.

That was my nightly ritual.

Like Monday through Thursday, I would bake eight cookies, watch Daily Show, Show, or like Colbert Rapport, and that was like my thing.

And then, like, now I'm an adult, so I can't have eight cookies every night.

I'm taught

by healthcare professionals that one should not

have

so many cookies.

That's lame.

So, I no longer have those cookies.

That's all.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

And my boyfriend wouldn't let me either, but he's keeping me alive.

Okay.

This is a conscious decision.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You feel okay.

I want them.

I want them.

And I have to do it.

Do you at least do it once a night then?

Once a week, then?

No, no.

And the cookies have changed.

And are we cooking?

So the cookies have changed.

So I went, I grew up on Pillsbury.

Then I switched to Nestle Toll House.

Then I did the Nestle Toll House Chocolate Lovers Chocolate Chunk Place and Bake.

Now,

now

Jock Torres

makes

he has like a cookie mix.

They're giant.

I'm going to send you some Jock Torres.

I'm not even shitting.

I'm going to send you some Jock Torres cookie mix.

I got like four boxes in the cabinet.

I should have brought you one.

And I make these like large cookies.

I can only make four at a time.

But they're the best cookies ever.

I'm a chocolate chip.

I love that you've beat the system.

Yeah.

You are no longer doing eight cookies.

I do four large.

Yeah, yeah.

I do four.

And I say they're for everybody, everybody, but they're like really for me.

Yeah.

I'm a chocolate chip cookie.

Like, connoisseur.

Yeah, yeah.

All of your acting role, of all your acting roles in TVs and movies, what was your favorite?

So,

yeah, like,

acting is something I'm like, I can do it, but I'm not, like, like.

I was like, I was like really bad in my last role and that kind of throw.

I was like really bad in poor things.

And I'm next to like the greatest living actor.

Like, like, like, Emma is just like incredible.

And I'm like,

I was like kind of out of my depth.

And like, just trying, and I respect Yorgo so much.

He's like, so

like, he's one of my favorite filmmakers, but

just trying to find my footing in it.

And, and like, often when I'm acting in something, it's something that I either I also wrote or like I've

been directing or like like that it's mine.

So I'm so concerned about production that I haven't been able to just like get lost in a

role to like fully like um I think if I did it now I think it would be different but like after reality show and and like like like

I have a different relationship with cameras now so it may be uh

better but like yeah I usually have not liked it now The last question I have for you, I often ask parents what the best parenting advice they've ever received, but I would like to ask you, what is the best comedy advice?

Probably something like Bo has told me, you know, like the

way to not be cool is to try to be cool.

It's great advice.

That's very cool.

Yeah, yeah.

Like if you try to be cool, it'll be the least cool thing you've ever done.

Thank you so much for joining me today.

I cannot thank you enough.

This was amazing.

Your so funny

special is outstanding.

Thank you.

It is called Don't Be Gay.

It is on HBO Max streaming now.

I encourage everyone to go watch it because apparently that's the only reason why Gerard.

Gerard's out in the wild.

I'm out in the wild.

Like, please watch it.

You should.

It's hilarious.

It was incredible.

And thank you so much for

having me.

Thanks for having me.

And that's a wrap on another episode of Not Gonna Lie.

You can find even more clips from my longer conversation with Gerard on my YouTube channel on More Shit Monday.

I'll be back next Thursday with a brand new episode.

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