Kylie & Kelly Ripa on Biggest Marriage Red Flag, Teen Cell Phone Rules & Jason’s Peanut Butter | Ep. 29

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Not gonna lie, Wyatt was in the room this morning when I was adjusting my bra.

She said, what are you doing?

I said,

putting my boobs back.

She said, back where?

And I said, back where they used to be.

Let's get this podcast started.

Welcome back to Not Gonna Lie, a Wave Original brought to you by Visible, live in the know.

I'm your host, Kylie Kelsey, believer in the philosophy of fuck around and find out i call my mom at least twice a day and no for everyone asking we still have not adopted a kitten i think we're getting warmer though i do uh

don't tell jason nobody tell jason seriously don't tell him because you're gonna ruin it coming up on today's episode i've got a loaded doom scroll of the week featuring a special appearance from my germaphobia and after that you're gonna hear my incredible conversation with the face of daytime television she's been making your mornings for decades on her show live.

Plus, she's a fellow birds fan, and of course, I have no business speaking to her.

Kelly Rippa is coming up.

But before we do all of that, we're over halfway through the first NGL season here, so I thought it'd be a good time to check in with the real ones and respond to some of your most popular feedback from our comments section.

Oh no!

Queen Emma told me not to read these ahead of time so that we could all react to them in real time.

So

let's see if that works.

First up from Chrissy727,

45 minutes wasn't long enough.

Crying emoji.

I'm pretty sure that's Chrissy727 is Queen Emma's burner.

Next comment, Faith Mars on Spotify said, this could have been three hours long and I would have been fine with it.

That episode flew by.

I can't wait to see what the next comment is, Queen Queen Emma.

Wow.

Is there a theme from Natty?

F baby.

Kylie, this is amazing with multiple G's.

But damn you for the 45-minute rule, LOL.

We need more.

Emma, how many burner accounts are you going to create?

This is getting embarrassing.

Note from the desk of Queen Emma.

Hey, girl.

How are you feeling about the 45-minute rule?

Seems like the real ones want more NGL.

Chica, thoughts?

Something so crisp sounding

about a cool 60.

No?

Okay.

I'll text you some pics of turtles later.

Bye, girl.

I can't wait for the turtle pictures, but also,

no.

Okay, here's the deal.

If you want more than 45 minutes, you're going to need to go to More Shit Monday on our YouTube channel and get those extra minutes.

Okay.

That's why we do it.

I don't want to deprive you of the whole interview.

I just want to make sure that you can consume it in a timely manner.

And that was our first official 45-minute rule check-in sponsored by Queen Emma.

Oh, God.

Moving on, I've been doom scrolling on the beach this summer, and there's a few clips that I immediately needed to share with the real ones.

Starting off with this TikTok that really ignited the germaphobe in my soul.

Queen Emma rolled the clip.

Me, when anybody sneezes around me because I'm a germaphobe,

she promptly put her lid back on and tried to cover up her food because the suggestion was that someone had sneezed near her.

Oh my gosh.

I thought of it.

I have so many germaphobia behaviors.

Our kids know that when we leave the house, when we come back, we're washing our hands.

Every time we come back in the house, we're washing our hands.

When people sneeze around my food, ew.

Also

cups, like glasses without anything over the top, and then kids.

I also have shared that my husband has his own jar of peanut butter.

It literally says Jason on the top of the lid

because

he does

sometimes dip the jelly knife into the peanut butter.

And the reason I have a problem with that is because jelly goes in the fridge and peanut butter doesn't.

So if you put jelly in your peanut butter, then the jelly isn't in the fridge where the jelly is supposed to be.

Ew.

You get what I'm saying?

It's gross.

Bathrooms.

Someone actually giggled at me once because they heard the narration of me in a stall with all three of my young children.

My tactic in a public restroom is hands on your head.

And you will hear me say it

at least 30 times for the exact reason you think.

I don't know how often they clean that bathroom.

You know what goes on in bathrooms.

And

there's no lids to the toilets in public restrooms.

So every time the toilet flushes.

I can't.

Let's move on before I really start to crash out.

Let's keep it scrolling because Danielle Smelly on TikTok is asking a very important question about toddler-run restaurants.

Queen Emma, can you roll that clip, please?

Why is it a universally known thing that a toddler-run restaurant is out of everything that you want?

I'll have a pizza.

Sorry, we don't have that.

Okay, I'll have a burger.

Sorry, we don't have that either.

Yep.

Just a mac and cheese?

No.

What does your restaurant have?

Okay.

danielle

we're living parallel lives lady because here's the deal

last week right upstairs there was a pancake house

they were out of motherfucking pancakes

the pancake house was out of pancakes what

Two weeks ago, we were handed menus.

All the adults in the room were handed menus.

The menu had approximately six things on it.

Okay, it's a set game.

This is a game, okay, with a million pieces, by the way.

Okay, I said, Perfect.

I'll take the salmon.

We don't have that.

I said, okay, I get it.

Popular dish.

I'll take the steak.

Don't have that.

And it's in that moment that you realize

that you are

with your reaction teaching your child how they should react to this actual situation happening in a real restaurant, right?

Things run out.

But at the same time, you kind of want to look at them and be like,

bring me anything, bring me anything because now I'm 0 for 2 and I'm feeling a little discouraged about this menu situation.

Christian also commented and said, and the price is $5 for ice cream, $100 for a burger.

We are currently in the realm of

made-up numbers.

I can't even remember because I was at a pancake house and I was so thrown off by the fact that there were no pancakes.

I don't even remember what I got, but what I do remember is that it was 50-11.

I don't know if that was $50.11.

I don't know if it was 50-11, period.

I don't know.

I don't know how much I paid, but I counted the money and I handed it over.

So glad we're all experiencing the same kid restaurants.

And last thing on this week's Doom Scroll, there's a trend I saw last night where women who aren't moms yet are practicing their best mom face for the future with the help of the scene from Bluey.

Now,

if you don't know what a mom face is, Queen Emma, can you show them please?

Sorry.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm okay.

Good.

Now help me tidy this up.

Oh, why do I have to help?

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

So this face, this face is, um,

everybody has it.

You have it.

Everyone has it.

You have it deep in your soul.

And

sometimes you just got to hit it

because it says all that you need it to say.

And that is,

excuse me?

That's it.

That's what the face says.

It, uh, there's no actual words.

You're not going to say anything.

If you say something, it's not the face.

The face is what you're saying.

Um, I don't know that I am the master of mom face, but I will tell you who is.

Well, at least my mother.

That she

can look at my children and they immediately have a moment of,

you know what?

I did want to clean up this mess.

So I don't know if I have yet mastered it, but we could try.

Queen Emma.

So, hey, girl.

I feel like you're about to say something.

You still feel I'm like 45 minutes a day or

there it is.

I break this out

when my kids say something out of pocket.

It's that simple.

Most of the time, it's their reaction to something I've said.

Hey, ladies, let's clean up our

toys.

Not right now.

You said what now?

And then we go down the path of like, hey,

I'm not quite sure who you were talking to, but I can guarantee it wasn't me.

That's it for Doom Scroll of the Week.

Moving on to Ask me some things.

Ask me some things because ask me anything was a little too open-ended, you crazies.

First up from Andrea on TikTok.

What does cooking look like in your house?

Who cooks?

Is it always kids' food like mac and cheese?

Are the girls' picky eaters?

We have

one picky eater

and one

particular eater, and one

eats anything.

Literally, we'll try anything.

It's delightful.

Our cooking in our house is done by me.

Jason didn't really grow up cooking, and

he has cooked

rarely.

He does a great job when he does it.

He just,

it's, it's, I actually enjoy it.

So I like doing it, and I'm going to keep doing it, but hopefully not in the way we currently do it, which is short order cook style.

Pasta is the most obvious example of how I have to differentiate plates.

When I make pasta, pasta, I will let one person pick the shape.

I only let them pick from shapes that I know their sisters will eat.

First of all, I'm very confused about the fact that certain pasta shapes are an absolute hard pass for each child.

Then we end up with Ellie is butter and cheese,

Benny is sauce and cheese, and Wyatt is just sauce.

And I do it.

I would say that feeding your children is one of the most underrated, difficult parts of parenting.

It's difficult because

before I had children,

I could do girl dinner.

I could slice off a few slices of cheese.

I could eat a handful of Tostitos

chips.

I could eat an apple with peanut butter, and that could constitute my dinner.

But that's not how the world works anymore.

And now we have to eat three meals a day.

And

the decision making is overwhelming.

I will tell you that.

The decision-making and also the need for being prepared.

It's just,

it's so much.

It's so much.

It takes up so much of my brain.

That does it for Ask Me Some Things.

Real ones, keep asking me some things.

Send me your questions at NGL with Kylie or share them on our subreddit page.

We have one of those.

I'm told.

Kelly Rippa is coming up right after this.

This episode of NGL is brought to you by Visible.

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She is the seven-time Emmy Award-winning host of her hit morning show live with Kelly and Mark.

She's also an executive producer and best-selling author.

Plus, she's a fellow mother and podcaster.

And now she's officially, not going to lie, Kelly Rippa, welcome to the show.

Thank you.

That was so good.

Thank you.

I'm so proud of you.

I have watched you for a very long time.

We have always been an ABC family.

Well, we've always been an ABC family.

So we have, we would do the six ABC morning news.

There goes that action news van again.

And then we would watch Good Morning America and then right on to you.

Specifically, when I was

I was went to community college right after high school and I was nannying to save money to go to full school full time.

And when I would nanny, me and the little boy I nanny for, I called him Nug, me and the Nugget would watch every morning you and Regis.

That makes me feel feel good.

And it was, so when, when we were talking about your kids leading up to doing this show, I

had a, well, I just had a panic because

Queen Emma told me that they are all out in the adult world.

And I went into a full panic of, oh no.

Wow.

It's been a minute.

So you're in it

right now.

Like you are in it.

Yes.

And I remember when Mark and I were in it because I was like you.

I was, I still doing the same job I have now.

And I understand being a Channel 6 family because being from South Jersey, I don't think people really understand the Delaware Valley and how that is a stronghold for Channel 6.

Like ABC, people turn on ABC and they leave it on.

all day.

Yes.

And so, and I've spent my entire career, like first with the soap and then with Regis and anything else I've done has been through

the Disney company.

So when I was in it with my three little kids,

I felt like, and it's been said so many times, the days are long, but the years are short, but it cannot be said enough.

You are so in it right now, but I'm here to tell you that you are going to remember this conversation.

You're going to blink, and they're going to be adults.

And it is sickening and exciting all at the same time.

It's already happening.

The other day, I teared up looking at our five-year-old because she is a string bean

and she

had just redone.

It's always when I redo their hair and they turn and look at you and you're like, oh, you're not the little ragamuffin anymore.

You're, you're like a whole human being with thoughts and feelings and opinions and you share them

whether we like it or not.

Girls will say anything at all times.

It's, I mean, we're, we're now four against mom and dad.

So we are in it.

But I looked at our five-year-old and I teared up a little bit because it was that moment of like, oh my gosh, you're old.

But at least your husband understands like zone defense.

And you understand zone defense.

Yes.

And when Mark said to me the first time, and the first time we traveled with Joaquin, who was two weeks old, because by that point, like I said, the more kids you have, you just sort of, you force them into just adjusting.

There are no newborns past the first newborn.

There's the first newborn and then the additional kids, and then you just keep going.

And Mark said to me, we've gone from man to man to zone defense.

And I said to him, speak English.

I don't know what that means.

Oh, yeah.

But you understand that.

Yes.

We have been in zone coverage now for

we've been in zone coverage for two years, like standard, but anytime he left the house, we've been in that for four years.

So

yeah, it really is.

That first one, I still remember our first was a pass fire child.

I would make sure I got it.

It would be sanitized.

I had six on deck in the, in the diaper bag.

The diaper bag was neatly packed.

Right.

The second one, I had like a diaper shoved in my back pocket and a pack of wipes like under my armpit.

And And I was like, we're going.

We're going.

We're ready.

And then if it falls, if the binky

chupa choops, the chupa choop falls to the floor and you pick it up and you're like,

sometimes if there's stuff on it, you like suck off the stuff and then shove it in.

Yes.

But that's how you, that's how you parent subsequent children after the first.

The first one is the first child is the scene from the Lion King.

That's it.

You know, you're holding the child up.

The grandparents are daubing.

Now, how big of an age gap is Michael and Lola?

So, Michael and Lola, we have like, we call it the lack of rhythm method.

That's what we use in our family.

So, Michael and Lola are four years apart.

Okay.

And Lola and Joaquin are 16 months apart.

Yeah.

So, there, we got that right.

We really spread it out exactly right.

Very even.

But I didn't even know I was pregnant with Joaquin in my own defense because I had just had Lola for about

so you were what,

seven months postpartum when you got pregnant

and i was exclusively nursing and i got the flu or what i thought was the flu

and i they had just come out with a drug called tamaflu yeah it was for people who had the bad flu and i was like i have the bad flu i have a flu that is so bad and the doctor said could you be pregnant and i was like no i just look i just had a baby Look, look at a baby.

Look, she's right here.

And he goes, listen, to prescribe this, I have to have a clean, a clear pregnancy test.

So I was like, fine.

And he was like, basically,

immediately.

Sure.

The line popped up immediately.

It was like, you boom.

You like breathed on it.

And it was like, you are.

Yes, exactly.

Yes.

And I was like, how?

How is this possible?

Uh-huh.

Because back in the day, back in the day when you were.

and nanny to the Nugget,

when you were nannying Nug,

they used to tell us, you if you're exclusively nursing you can't get pregnant yes which as it turns out a load of load a load of ladies it's a bunch of bullshit do not fall for it that is a lie that people tell you yes uh i will say i got pregnant with our second

the month that i stopped breastfeeding

um

promptly uh they are 17 months apart

so yes there it is but a lot of people end up with that tight age gap because they listen to

experts.

Trusts.

They kill their grandmother.

Yes.

Yes.

Yeah.

The leading research now says no, just to be clear.

Don't trust it.

Is this my camera?

You will get pregnant.

As someone who occasionally works with their husband,

I've been very excited to flush out this idea with you.

How has it been working with your husband side by side every morning?

So what's interesting, and I will say this, we started out our careers together many years ago, 30 years ago, 30, more than 30 years ago, 35 years ago, working together on a soap opera.

So we were used to working together.

And over the years, we had worked together a lot.

And Mark, I think by the time he took over co-hosting permanently, had co-hosted with me at least 100 times.

Like he was always filling in the last minute.

COVID year, he was constantly filling in.

Like he was just always there.

So he made sense to take over.

We just had to make it make sense for him.

He was not really on board with hosting.

He's like, no, it's fun to do once in a while

because it's only once in a while.

But then, you know, I sort of said, it's so great.

It's so much easier than doing a soap.

It's such a finite amount of time and you can still go off and have a full life.

And so I think that has made it really easy.

Having said that, when we go off, when we go our separate ways after that morning taping, we don't see each other again until dinner.

Like we need some separation.

We need some mystery between us.

Yes.

You have to have something to talk about at the dinner table.

Yeah, I don't know where he goes or what he does.

I have no idea.

And he doesn't even know I'm doing this.

I'm just going to let him find out about this in real time.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Make him

exciting.

Make him download it.

Make him support the cause.

That's it.

And the best thing about hosting a talk show together.

is people are like, you guys, what happens?

Like, aren't you worried about if you have an argument and then you have to go on the air?

And I'm like, we have arguments on the air.

And it's great to have an argument on the air because your audience becomes your counselors.

And they will let you know who is wrong and who is right.

Spoiler alert, I'm usually right.

What advice would you give me

the next time that Jason and I do something for work together?

So I think you have to like really, I mean, I'm going to take it from like what I found works for me is that I treat him like with the

reverence and yet the irreverence of like

almost like a newborn baby.

Like I understand that you need things a certain way because without the consistency and the continuity of doing whatever it is that certain way,

it makes him nervous or it makes him it makes him nervous on edge.

So if I can avoid that, I try to avoid anything that might make him nervous or upset.

Does that make sense?

Yes, it does.

That's easily doable.

So that's doable.

I know the triggers.

You know the triggers.

You put them there.

Yes.

So don't.

I put those self-destruct buttons right where I left those.

And so you leave them there when you're working together.

There's so much time.

Like you have, I can tell, like, I can tell you guys are long haulers.

We are long haulers.

You're very much stuck with me.

Yeah, no.

Tell them all the time.

So when I say, you have the rest of your life to really,

you know, torture him.

I just think it's so much easier because when you think about working with somebody that you trust and that you admire, who more so than your husband?

That's true.

That's very true.

That is.

The best part is, is like when you're married to them, you marry them for all the reasons that you love them, right?

And some of those are like the work ethic, the dedication, the focus.

Like, those are, it's, it's fun to watch him.

I, I mean, I've gotten to watch him out on the football field and in that capacity, but then to watch him do other things and to get to sometimes do them together, it's, it is like, I can find the joy in it because he knows it is

not my cup of tea.

But he trusts you.

Yes.

And we're, we are very much, I do think we've enjoyed the things that we've gotten to do together, even when I'm voluntold

to be the announcer for a late night show.

You know, you just, you just stumble into that one.

But

when, so when you stumble into these things, and I have myself stumbled into them,

do you,

before it happens, do you

become very,

I can't believe you talked me into this or do you wait until after it's over?

Oh, before.

Before.

Yes.

I hit him with like the,

oh, we're doing this.

Oh, we're, no, we're actually doing this.

And then we, uh, we arrive at the destination where I am then standing in a, like a music recording studio.

Suddenly I'm singing on a Christmas album.

And I'm like,

oh, we're, oh, we're doing this.

On the way there, I said to him, you're actually going to make me go in there.

And he was like, I just really think that this, that you would be great.

And I'm like, you're only saying that to get me in there.

And then we get there.

And I'm just like, I'm doing this because I love you.

And he's like, I know that.

And then we just, then we do it.

Okay.

So here's, here's what I'm going to tell you.

Don't, like, don't, before it happens, don't say a word.

Okay.

Save it.

No word.

You then turn that opportunity of being compliant into a luxury travel situation.

Because I recorded a Christmas album

that I did not know I was

signing up for,

I found this incredible resort in wherever.

Sure.

Your choice, dealer's choice.

And I booked it for next week.

Oh my gosh.

It's going to be amazing.

And that way we can recover from the recording session that really

took its toll on me.

You did a number on my nerves.

On my nerves.

Like emotionally took a toll on me.

Doesn't that sound amazing?

I fear that he would be so happy about going on vacation together.

No, but that he would drag me into something else.

He'll start dragging you into recording sessions.

He's very smart like that.

He would recognize the cycle and be like,

I'm going to get myself back on this.

What can I volunteer Kylie for?

Now, as listeners of NGL know, I recently did an episode of this podcast two days after giving birth to my fourth child.

But, like you've said, fourth child isn't just another child.

Throw them in the mix.

Child's play.

That's it.

I thought it was pretty crazy at the time.

And a bunch of our listeners were like,

what are you doing here?

And then I read that you called into

your show

the same day.

The same day that you gave birth.

So it was

brilliant timing on Lola's part.

Okay.

Brilliant timing because I went into labor like 14 hours before.

She was born on Father's Day and the nurses came in with a Polaroid picture of my husband with his head in the bassinet and he's, she's got her finger, she's got her hand around his finger and they said, there's a new woman in your husband's life.

And I'm looking at the clock and I'm like,

theoretically, I think I'm going to be able to call in because they were like, if there's any way you can call in,

that would be great.

And sure enough, I called in and they said, oh, she's here.

And I said, yes, she's here.

She's a girl.

She's adorable.

You know, but it was so funny that she was such a good girl that she timed it just right.

for her to be announced during the show.

That was very sweet of her.

Now, what was it like to make that phone call?

Were you just, it was just, you were like, I can swing this because it's a second kid?

I think the nurses and the doctors were really excited because they were like, wait, we're going to be on TV.

And I'm like, nobody's going to be on TV.

My voice is going to be on a phone patched through a TV studio.

But I think everybody was sort of excited to, you know, just to know that they were calling into Regis, who was such a cultural icon in that moment.

But it was amazing.

It was amazing.

And people were just, as you know, if you are in the public eye in any way,

people are very generous and kind.

Yes.

And they really, my kids are, you know, at the time when they were little, they didn't really understand the attention

at all.

But having grown up now and knowing that they have people that actively root for them, and, you know, our oldest son is 28 years old and he will meet people that will say, say, I watched you grow up and I'm so happy for your life and your success.

And it makes him feel really good because, you know, when he was a little kid, he didn't understand what that meant.

But as a fully fleshed out adult, he really gets it and he's super appreciative for it.

Not creeped out.

Not creeped out.

But when he was a little kid, he was super creeped out.

But as an adult, he feels very

good balance, though.

Yeah.

They're a little skeptical when they're young and then a little stranger danger.

It's a good balance.

Stranger danger, we sort of were very always matter of fact about it.

We never treated it like it was a weird thing or a creepy thing.

And and and we did make the distinction of strangers versus strangers when you're with your parents.

Yes, so there was like a very big difference.

Like, yes, these are people we don't know, but they're very kind people.

You're with mom and dad, you're safe.

And

because of these very nice people,

we get to have very nice experiences.

We get to have very nice life.

We are on a nice trip because of these very nice people who watch mom and dad.

That's very nice to think of it as just clean, honest.

Yeah.

And I think they felt gratitude.

And having said that, they also knew not to talk to strangers when they were not with mom and dad.

That is, that is

the key.

It was like making that distinction.

Like, you are with mom and dad, and so you are safe.

That's, that's very good.

I'm going to try and push that.

Yeah.

Um, now you've been doing your live show for 24 years now.

25.

This is my 25th year.

25th year.

Um, do you prefer it being live?

So I can make an argument for both.

Um, because our editor, shout out to Brad.

He is, he's a wizard.

He's, he keeps things going here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So editors are masterful.

When it's live, it's live and it happens.

But we tend to really screw up royally on the tape shows because we do a live show and a tape show a day.

So during the tape show, I think to myself, how did we just do this live?

Live is just an hour and it's done and it's easy.

But when you go into that tape show, you just somehow buckle down and know you're going to be there a while.

You just know that.

Because your brain.

It's not even our brain.

It's like everybody's brain, the control room's brain.

The phone call for our trivia caller, somehow that gets dropped.

The trivia wheel breaks down.

The camera, you know, one day we were like in the middle of, you know, our show like this is like very, our show is much, like, it's very conversational.

However, like intros and things are scripted.

Yes.

And so we were reading an intro and all of a sudden it just said the word blank.

And I was like, blank.

Says blank, everybody.

You know, and I think, what would have happened if that was live?

Right.

But that would never happen if we were live.

Right.

I also think the dynamic of the show, like you mentioned, Gelman,

even just the references to him and the camera cutting to him, and it sort of brings you almost like behind the scenes in a way that makes you feel like you're like involved and like it's homey in that way yeah which we just had an entire discussion today with a girl named Ashley

and she

she was in the upper deck and that's why I keep looking up she was in the upper deck and she had broken up with her boyfriend over Snapchat using AI

and so she's

younger than us she's way younger

she's younger than my children as soon as I hear snapchat I'm like oh not my age group Yeah, I don't even know.

I mean, I just.

My nieces text via Snapchat.

That is it.

Like, they don't text their friends in a text message.

Right.

An iMessage.

They use.

How do they save their receipts?

I don't think they do.

Yeah.

As a mother, I have to say.

What is going to happen to your children?

So I have decided.

To not let them have anything.

Yes.

done

um i actually believe that we will be doing what i'm calling the kitchen phone

in other words there will be one or two extra cell phones besides mom and dad's cell phone right that they can take with them if they have um somewhere they're going where there will not be a a parent or if they will need to get a hold of us or if they're at something sports related whatever

But that they can take one of those cell phones, that the cell phones are only kept to the first floor of the house.

So you can still have your friends have that phone number.

They can still call you.

You can still use the phone on the first floor of the house, but they live in the kitchen.

So they're not going to go upstairs.

They're not going to the basement.

They're going nowhere but the first floor, communal living space.

Computers too should stay in the kitchen.

Perfect.

Add them to the list.

They're staying in the kitchen.

I'd love to talk to you a little bit more about motherhood.

I've shared some of the more humbling or unintentionally honest things that my daughters have said to me.

I'm guessing now that your kids are grown, specifically Lola, because I think girls are unapologetically honest.

Very honest.

But my sons will give her a run.

Unfortunately, I've raised three

wildly honest people.

I love that.

Yeah, but some days I just want them to shut it.

Since they're older, is there anything that they've said to intentionally humble you?

I mean, I think it's all intentionally humbling.

I mean, it's all humbling.

I'm trying to think of something recent.

I remember, it wasn't too many years ago, we were all on vacation.

So the kids were not quite out of college.

They were with us.

And I was, we were getting ready to go to the beach and I was in my bathing suit.

brushing my teeth.

And as I was brushing my teeth, Lola was standing there and she goes, it's so cute the way your entire body jiggles when you brush your teeth.

Why does it do that?

And I go,

because of you.

You did this to me.

And I just kept brushing.

It does fascinate me that they often humble us about things that are directly a result of them.

Of them.

Yeah.

I didn't understand that when you raise kids, they would say the most

crazy shit to you, and you have to like really, I mean,

I remember Michael and Lola, I was giving them a bath at the same time, and Lola was one, and Michael was five at the time.

And we were visiting Mark on a movie set, and it was in Australia, and I had limited space, and we were staying in this room, and I was like, guys, getting in the tub together.

And I was rinsing Michael's Michael's hair.

And Lola, with her little baby hand, reached up, tried to grab his baby penis.

And he goes, Lola,

don't grab my penis.

It's bad enough.

You broke yours off.

And I was like, this is wild.

Kids are geniuses.

They say crazy shit all the time.

Last week, we got in a

a deep hole of trying to explain what a crotch was.

A crotch, yeah.

Because

our girls could not fathom the fact that everybody has a crotch.

Do they want me, Ma to come over and explain it to them?

Maybe, because I still don't think we arrived anywhere that they felt confident that they understood the premise of a crotch.

I was like, Everybody has a crotch, it's this region, everybody has one.

And they were like, Well, dad doesn't have a crotch because he has a penis.

And I'm like, Nope, dad also has a crotch.

There's just a penis on his crotch.

It's it contains the penis.

That's That's where it all goes.

And they were like, okay, so we don't have a crotch because we have vaginas.

Now, mind you,

but with a B, not a V.

I can't help it.

We can't get past it.

I refuse to correct it.

We're close enough.

We had vagina, which is even better.

Fagina.

And

so then they were like, no, we have a vagina, so we don't have a crotch.

And I was like, nope, nope.

Vaginas.

Penises all in the crotch area.

And they were like, so who doesn't have a crotch?

I was like, like, No, that's that's not possible.

Everybody has a crotch.

It's actually great.

It's very universal crotch.

And they were like, Okay,

I don't, I don't, guys, I don't think dad has a crotch.

And I was like, Um, you know what?

Then dad doesn't have a crotch today.

Dad doesn't have a dad is crotch-free.

Dad's crotchless.

Uh,

poor dad, you know, he doesn't even have a crotch.

Uh, well, in addition to your morning show, I mentioned it earlier.

You also have a podcast called Let's Talk Off Camera.

Yep.

I love this premise.

I heard you also recently expanded your show.

Yeah, so we're doing, we're doing these crazy because people cannot

stomp

unless I'm live.

So we're doing live call-in episodes.

They just can't get enough.

It's really old.

No, it's really like old school radio, like you practiced in, like you understand this world.

And I really enjoyed it.

Initially, I thought I was going to hate it because I seemed oddly nervous about talking to people live when I cannot see them.

But it's kind of really seamless.

We usually pick a topic, you know, whether it's like underage drinking or spring break trips gone awry or whatever is happening in our lives or our guests' lives.

That's what we focus on.

And then people call in.

And it's on Radio Andy, which is, you know, what better place to have anything but on Radio Andy?

That's awesome.

Now,

what's been the most ridiculous question so far that you've been asked?

That I've been asked?

Oh, gosh, there's a lot.

I mean, people will ask me things like, how do you keep the spark alive in your marriage?

And I'm like,

I don't know what that means.

I've been spark alive.

The spark, spark?

You know, because I think people think that you're going to be in like a hot to trot love for the rest of your life, like that new love, you know, the endorsement.

The honeymoon thing yes and we've been married for almost 30 years so i don't like i am not sure what that means but but what what i always say is you have to really like each other yep and you have to love and respect each other like you have to have a like

and love and a respect for each other and all the other stuff if you're like friends like that if you're tight like that then all the other stuff sort of falls into place works out and you'll still fucking fight.

Like, I want to be perfectly clear.

When people say they don't fight, biggest red flag.

Biggest marriage flag flag I've ever heard.

It's also bullshit.

Like, why are you bullshitting us?

We know you fight.

It's either full of shit or you guys are,

I'm unsure what's going on.

It's like saying, I don't poop.

Like, who says that?

I myself have never pooped and neither is my husband.

And I go, okay, are you, are you alive?

They're aliens.

You're aliens.

That's not true.

That's

that's insane.

Can I call in sometime and get some parenting advice?

Anytime you want.

I love it.

We will take you anytime.

And here's the good news about my podcast.

You can do it from your bed.

You can do it from your sick bed.

Like that is the thing about the podcast is it's completely off camera.

You could be picking up your kids from nursery school because we've done that, where people are like, just hang on, I just got to run in here and get my kids.

It's

that feels like you just took a glimpse into my life.

I've taken more than one phone call where I'm like, can you just hold on one second?

Come on, guys.

We got to get in the car.

And the people on the phone are like, are you serious or not?

I've done it on our sales calls more than once.

Thank you so much for coming today.

It has been such a pleasure to talk to you.

I am honored to meet you and even more honored to get to chat with you.

It's my honor.

And that's a wrap on another episode of Not Gonna Lie.

You can find even more clips from my longer conversation with Kelly on my YouTube channel on More Shit Monday.

I'll be back next Thursday with a brand new episode.

Follow Not Gonna Lie on all social media at NGL with Kylie.

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