Kylie on Jersey Shore Fight Scenes, Backflips at the Club & Eagles Autism Community with JWoww | Ep. 24

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Not gonna lie, if you wanna catch me at the Ocean Drive in Seattle City, New Jersey, you're gonna have to catch me at 7.30 because I'm gonna be on that dance floor enjoying the air conditioning by myself, listening to my throwbacks.

Let's get this podcast started.

Welcome to a very special Jersey Shore

at the Jersey Shore edition of Not Gonna Lie.

I'm so excited right now.

It's a wave original brought to you by Duncan.

I'm your host, Kylie Kelsey, a beach wagon puller and amateur boogeyboarder.

And I've been a fan of the woman sitting next to me right now for 15 years.

And so have all of you.

You know her from the phenomenon that is the show, Jersey Shore.

She and the whole cast enrich our lives and vocabularies with phrases like GTL and the calzia.

Now she's also a mom and doing incredible work on behalf of the autism community.

And she officially is here.

And she's not going to lie, it's Jenny J.

Wow Farley.

Welcome to the show.

Oh my God.

What are you doing?

I'm so excited to have you.

It's perfect because we are at the Jersey Shore.

We are.

And it's 100 degrees out.

It is very warm.

If you see me wiping my brow or my upper lip, no, you didn't.

No, you didn't.

I'm so excited to have you here.

It's such a timely

lineup

for what we are doing here.

And then also like drag you back to the Jersey Shore to talk to you about the last 15 years of your life and how it was,

I mean, perfection from

getting to, I mean, getting to watch

everything with the Jersey Shore

is just like, it's a comfort thing.

I am not a reality TV person.

Okay.

It's the only show that I watched religiously.

Are we best friends right now?

Yes.

I'm getting for multiple reasons.

Now, as the real ones can see, we're taping the show from the most gorgeous bar at the Jersey Shore.

This is the Ocean Drive.

We have our guest bar attending event here.

All of the proceeds for that event go back to the Eagles Autism Foundation.

Jenny, as a Jersey Shore icon yourself,

have you been to the OD before?

I actually haven't been down here ever.

I have to do it.

We dragged you from the North Jersey Shores.

But, you know, living in Jersey and being in the northern parts of the Jersey Shore, I never thought that I needed to come down here.

Like I did like Cape May one day or Wildwood for like my son's jiu-jitsu tournament, but I never like stayed here.

Sea Isle Ocean.

Don't enjoy the beach.

Not once.

Don't really like the beach, but I have to say, I have to give it.

I was at the beach yesterday with my kids.

I stayed in a hotel so I didn't have to get in the vehicle.

I borrowed chairs and towels.

Yes.

Best time of my life.

Done.

Done.

I didn't have to bring the sand with me.

I don't have sand on me today.

Zach has the kids at the beach this morning.

It's been a great 24 hours.

I have to give it to you.

If it wasn't for this, I wouldn't be here.

I will say a friend of mine in college took me to Seaside Heights because that is the shore point that she went to growing up.

And I think there is a little bit of confusion between

what we experience down here as the Jersey Shore.

This is the Jersey Shore I grew up coming to.

Yes.

And what you guys were opening up the world's eyes to trash

i mean it seemed like a good time best way how would you describe the difference between like like the od how does it compare to karma

Well, unfortunately, there is no comparison, but the OD is beautiful.

I would say, actually, like, we had a vibe like this, like an outdoor.

Was there an outdoor section of karma?

There was.

Okay.

it's where i punched that girl in the face

it was a good time to be in memories it was fond memories um

there yeah a lot of fights went down they did not have sand gotcha so this is you probably preferred that I would say, well, back then I blacked out.

I didn't care.

Well, I figured we could kick things off with a very, very special edition of a segment we do here called, Can I Be Honest?

And today, of course,

we're going to get honest about your show, Jersey Shore.

And like I said, the real ones know that I've watched very little reality TV in my life, but the Jersey Shore is the exception.

I still remember my sister and I would watch it, and then we would continue to quote it for the rest of the week.

Because why not?

Now, before we go any further, I realize that not everyone watching

is a millennial who watched every episode like me.

So to help them follow our conversation, I was hoping you could define some of the most iconic terms and catchphrases from the show.

So we're going to do rapid fire style.

Okay.

First one, GTL.

Gym tan laundry.

And there was a little bit of confusion.

The gym, the tan and the laundry are as clear as it is, right?

It was literally just going to the gym every morning, going to get tan right after and doing your laundry and dropping the laundry up and then picking it up the next day when we were already back going to the gym and going tanning.

It was a way of life.

It was so impressive.

It was so impressive.

Number two, meatball.

Oh, those are my meatballs, my babies.

It's Nicole and Dina.

Shorter,

we're not.

We would be considered the sausage.

So I was a sausage to their meatballs.

Short,

and they just didn't break.

They're like Gumby.

Yep.

So they were little meatballs that ran around and got drunk all day.

I love it.

Number three, smush.

Sexuals.

I don't know how else to say say it.

Number four, juice head or gorilla.

Mostly a tatted up muscle man on the beach.

Yep.

I remember everyone hunting for a gorilla of their own.

Always me.

Number five, t-shirt time.

Oh, so there was that's a two-part.

There's the shirt before the shirt.

Yes.

And we're actually experiencing that right now because when you're in the summer, this could be a shirt before the shirt.

Yes.

Yes.

And then right before you go to the club, right before we leave you put the shirt on and that's t-shirt time you're fresh and then you walk out yes you're ready which leads to fresh to death

it does number six ftd fresh to death ftd um wow you're bringing back like memory lane now uh perfect number six fist pump

Actually, I think it would be number seven now because I did fill the other one.

Number seven, fist pump.

There is a fist pump, which so I will say this, I am very disappointed in the new generation.

They don't dance like we used to.

They kind of sit around in their cell phones and do their own thing.

But back in the day,

at least my day and your day, people danced at nightclubs.

They fist pumped, they frolicked, they

just, they were all over the place.

We did back flips.

We didn't care that much.

The kukas were showing.

That might bring us to number eight.

Jersey turnpiking.

We jersey turnpike, which is twerking, I guess, as you younger.

Specifically, my understanding of it was, and you can correct me if I'm wrong here, but specifically, you would be bent fully over, like almost touching the floor.

Is that right?

Like a triangle, right?

Yes.

It was always, Dina did a phenomenal job.

She would touch her toes, ass straight in the air,

and she would just make it jiggle.

She has the best ass.

Outs.

Am I allowed to say that?

Yes, a thousand percent.

Oh, we are very in on cursing round here.

Number nine, the poof.

Oh, that was Nicole's signature hair.

It was like a little claw clip.

You know what's funny?

It's coming back.

I see.

And I saw it, and it was called something else.

And I was like, oh, excuse me.

Isn't that the worst?

It's funny when it comes back around.

And it's called something else.

I just want to be clear to all of our younger listeners.

Snookie did that.

Yes.

Because Nicole did that.

She walked so you could run.

Okay.

And she was crushing it.

She would get it so perfect.

She had the perfect hair.

It was it was outstanding.

Number nine, cabs are here.

No.

Okay, so before Uber and Lyft and all these fancy apps, we would physically have to call,

get an appointment.

Like, you'd be like, we need a cab in like 20 minutes.

Wait.

And then when we would hear the double honk, Paulie would yell, cabs are here.

I love it.

Kids don't even know what a cab is.

No, they do not.

Not even, no.

I don't even know how many cab companies still even exist.

When I see them, I get sad because I'm like, you're holding on by a thread.

Then the cab rolls by and you see the little Uber light up in the back.

You can sponsor us, Uber.

Come on.

Did I miss any terms?

I don't think so.

You got the good ones.

Perfect.

I think everyone should be up to speed now.

Now, I'd love to start at the beginning.

What was your first impression of everybody?

Nicole swears that, like, I did what I did.

And I swear that it was the camera edits when like I looked at her was like oh um but she came in loud she came in she came in loud uh and I love loud people but she was a lot I was like there's I called her a rabid chihuahua I was like you are just very rabid you're a lot I thought the boys were dumb as a box of rocks I love them to death but I was like what is this I think the best part about it is is that you guys

like

got to where you are now because people saw you guys being like us hilarious, just us ridiculous.

But you guys

were so like true to yourselves in like enjoying life at the Jersey Shore that people were like,

I want to watch this.

Yeah, I think it was twofold too.

I think truthfully, and I'm not even saying this to like make people laugh, like we look like creatures of the night.

If you were from Ohio, you didn't know what we look like.

You didn't know know this existed you didn't know like there were well that that was one of the craziest things about going to seaside heights myself and getting the confirmation yeah that we exist because it's normal because this is what i grew up with i grew up south jersey shore for people who don't know it's very different from the north jersey shore points specifically seaside heights yes and so when people were like oh it's a it's it's a show about the jersey shore i'm like not the one i went to yeah

so we were more of like the party sector we were more of like the daytime partying work at the shore uh you know we did work at the t-shirt shop he paid us like eight dollars an hour rude by the way um and we lived eat and breathe the shore when did you meet the roommates for the first time That day.

You see it in real time.

We all left the hotel separately.

We got in a,

in our cars with a producer.

The producer gave us a MapQuest printout and said, drive here.

So we drove over the bridge and you see it all happen in real time.

Like we meet them in real time.

We

meet the house.

Like we walked in and we were like, what are we doing?

And then as the dust settled, Danny walked in and was like, you're going to be working at my show store.

And

I don't work.

What?

I'm here to party.

What do you mean?

He's like, if you want to party, you have to work.

And that was the deal.

i do think that that was one of the

one of the craziest parameters of the show that you guys had to stay working at the t-shirt shop yeah to be able to stay in the house or you would get fired and leave like angelina did like that was they were dead ass with that part i love that and we didn't make any money except for what we made on the at the shore store so the first season i probably walked away with like four hundred dollars oh my gosh and i worked in the long island nightclub industry like i was like making really good money.

And because I wasn't able to tell them if I got hired for the show or not, I like lost all my jobs.

I like turned my cell phone back on.

I checked my voice messages.

They're like, you're fired because you didn't show up to like some of the biggest parties.

So when I left the show, I left jobless, broke, fired, and regretting everything.

I was like, I had a great life in Long Island.

Oh my God.

Because we also didn't know the show would be successful, right?

So at that point, we were just like, see you later.

Because when you were finished filming, how long after you were finished filming did the show air?

Three months.

Oof.

Three months for $400 for three months.

And I couldn't get a job back.

So I ended up working in finance temporarily, like mortgages, and being like, I'm going to have to go home to my dad.

I'm going to have to like drop out of school.

I can't afford it.

I had really good.

like job security that I walked away from.

I had all these regrets and like all this like overwhelming feeling.

I I remember being in my kitchen and like borrowing money from my girlfriend and being like, That's it.

I'm not taking any more money from anybody.

And then I hear this obnoxious voice on TV, and I'm like, that's me.

And I look in, I dead, I'll never forget this.

I was in the kitchen.

I was like, the fuck, that's what I sound like.

And I hit the corner and I see a commercial for the Jersey Shore.

For the Jersey Shore,

see me.

And then like 13 minutes later, MTV calls me.

And they're like, Hi, just so you know, we're like a rep from MTV.

If you need anything, call us.

This is the name of your show.

I'm like, Yeah, I just saw it.

Thank you for now.

Information because we didn't know what it was going to be called, anything.

We had no idea.

And that's such a like a trust exercise.

And don't do those.

Here's all of your, here's all my stuff.

Hotel for a week.

End up in a house.

Leave with $400 and no job.

Like, that is,

you are investing in yourself.

I like that.

I like it a lot.

I took a risk and I'm not a risk taker.

I don't do those things.

It was meant to be.

I can't think of it any other way because my personality is like, what's worst case scenario?

And every worst case scenario, every

red flag was like right there.

And I was like, okay, I'll still do it.

It's like, I could end up in a ditch, but I could also end up on a really cool TV show

making a lot of money.

So, I mean, it all worked out.

Jersey Shore might also be one of the most quotable TV shows of all time.

Do you have a favorite line of yours?

Because my favorite.

Stay and get your ass beat.

Or

you can stay and get your fucking ass beat.

My God.

I mean,

is there a better quote?

I don't think so.

That is just.

And

to be clear,

how many times did you say it?

I don't know.

I don't know what I was doing.

I was so angry.

It was so good.

So you have to understand that season in particular, I really wish they sold more episodes.

We could have made at least 25, 30.

They only allowed like eight or 10, but we stayed there for two months.

Two months trying living with someone.

No cell phone, internet, no TV, no pens, papers, magazines.

At any point in anyone's life, you would tell someone next to you, if you stay, I will literally beat your ass.

Like, you need to leave.

So I probably said it way more.

I was over it.

She left.

Here we are.

We're friends now.

It was such a good.

I mean, if you have not seen that clip.

You want to get your ass beat, you get your s beat.

You can stay, get your ass beat.

You can stay and get your f ⁇ ing ass beat.

Okay.

You can stay and get your f ⁇ ing ass beat.

All right.

You can stay and get your ass beat.

Or you can stay and get your fucking ass beat.

I mean, just top-tier television people.

Thanks.

Forget all the nonsense that's happening right now.

The new reality TV does not hold a candle to you can say and get your ass beat or you can say and get your beat.

I appreciate that.

It's outstanding.

I also don't know if you realize it since you were in it, but the way the anticipation for the episode where Snookie gets punched

united all of us.

We were on the edge of our seats waiting for that.

That happened pretty early in the show.

What was it like seeing the fan reaction and how it sort of like elicited this just absolutely

bananas, right yeah so i would say that was a huge that was a pivotal moment in our show because at that time i think nicole wanted to leave she didn't feel like we were taking her serious because she came in very party-esque like 21 she was a baby right and we were gtl Jim tan laundre.

So we were like, party two days a week.

She's like, let's party all seven.

So it was this disconnect.

But we all liked her.

But that day I realized, wow, I like, I love her.

And if you watch that clip back, and it's super quick because

even though they played it for its entirety,

a lot of backlash actually occurred originally.

And I love MTV for this.

And I love 495 Productions for this.

And I stand by them.

So when that happened in the bar, because the guy took our shots and Nicole is like defending us, he punched her.

I remember her dropping to the floor off like the bench which is high up making sure she was okay dropping my purse and just started wailing on him as hard and as fast as i could and in that like 13 seconds the police show up the boardwalk police and grabbed him and i ran back to her because i really thought he broke two of her teeth like and she was bleeding and it was a mess but she was perfectly fine i was like thank god But we had this meeting and I was with her in the ambulance till like eight o'clock the next morning, making sure she was okay.

And people really thought they weren't gonna air it, they weren't gonna show it.

And

I remember sitting with people and saying in the higher-ups, like, Why are we protecting him?

Right, like, I get that it's like never been done or never been seen on TV, and no woman is ever asked to get punched by a man, but he did that, yes.

And why are we gonna protect him?

So, they aired the commercial and they aired it blacked out,

And the rage that went across America defending him.

Really?

Not like, I don't even want to say defending him, but being shocked at the audacity of MTV airing it rather than the audacity of the man doing it.

Do you, you know what I mean?

Yes.

How dare you air that?

How dare we air like something so crazy and trashy?

And, but we're like, how dare he do that?

Right?

Like you're the one that swung.

Yes.

We're just airing the reality of what happened.

Nobody ever asked for that to happen.

We sure as hell didn't think it was going to happen.

And that's when I remember Sally Ann, our owner of our company, being like, no, we're doubling down.

We're airing this and we're airing it in its entirety.

And we're standing by the fact that like.

this is not okay and we're not protecting him because if we don't air it, we protect him.

That's right.

And Nicole is left with getting hit and and people just wondering why for like the good chunk of the rest of the season she's got this like baseball knot on her face so i'm super proud of like our

production and mtv really like

doubling down yeah just it really blew my mind that like

that that was even a conversation.

And if you look back at the old season sometimes, you'll see the blacked out version.

Like they still sometimes won't show it.

That's so interesting.

Yeah.

Ugh.

I do love that they doubled down though.

Yes.

And this is how I know I was hanging out with the right people because we were all like, how dare he?

Thank you.

Yes.

No, I felt that strongly.

Thank you.

Oh, that's that means if we had algorithms back then, mine would have been right.

And it's still like an oh shit moment and it's still, but like I think a lot of conservative people, a lot of boomers at the time, older millennials were more insulted at the fact like, oh, how dare you air that?

Right.

But it's like, but that happens.

Yes.

And I feel like when we bring attention to things like that, that's how we can make it stop.

Absolutely.

If we're going deeper.

No, that, yeah.

Protecting.

And that's, that was ahead of its time.

Yeah.

This was 2009, like December.

Very,

I don't remember ever seeing anything like that on television.

Absolutely.

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Before we move on from Jersey Shore, we do another segment on Not Gonna Lie here called Doom Scroll of the Week.

We explain a TikTok or watch a TikTok and then really we pick it apart.

Okay.

Because right now, I'll Doom Scroll when I'm feeding.

I'll Doom Scroll like when I get in bed at night, which everybody says is bad for you, but like whatever.

I'm enjoying myself.

Thank you.

So I thought since we have you here, we could do a Jersey Shore edition of Doom Scroll where we can react to some of the most viral clips that popped up on my for you page.

First up,

Nicole couldn't find.

By the way, Nicole is Snookie.

Snookie is Nicole.

If we cross over here,

I feel like we should clarify that.

Nicole is now a grown-ass woman, and she's Nicole, but she was Snookie, and it was great.

First up, Snookie couldn't find the beach, and then she got arrested.

Roll the clip, Queen Emma.

Where's the beach?

It's so good.

Oh my god.

I'm going to the beach so bad.

Love you, buddy.

We go to the beach so bad is what she said.

Nicole!

Look at you.

It's too early for the s.

My number one main concern I know is getting Nicole to the beach before she gets in trouble.

I'm a good person.

Come on, Nicole.

This is a good time.

Because you don't want to go in the water when you're

my parents.

There's so much more to that.

I would love to point out that she had the massive sunglasses on, which nowadays, well, maybe I might be a little behind on this trend but people would say they're blocking out the haters okay so yes they're blocking it all out

what led to that a lot of drinking so we always had this i don't know what went wrong but that day

I shouldn't, I should have known better, but we always had you have to go somewhere with a partner.

It's a buddy system.

Right.

Just for cameras and moving, buddy system.

But everyone was dead tired and Nicole really wanted a day drink.

So production was like, all right, you can go by yourself.

Never do that again.

She got blacked out on a day like this.

And I have to say, where's the beach?

She knew where the beach was.

The problem is the entrance to the beach.

The entrance in Jersey is like a, you have to pay at a booth and you have to like get a slip or whatever.

And she was, the poor girl was just trying to find the entrance.

And then we all had to double down and try and stop her from going in the ocean because of her mic pack, which was very valuable back in the day.

And we did not have a lot of.

You could not order them on Amazon.

Yes.

And all I heard was sound freaking out her mic pack, her mic pack.

So I'm running on the beach, then Dina, then Sammy.

I don't know who else.

I was like seeing friends down the shore being like, is that Jenny chasing her meatball?

And all hands on deck.

And

I actually believe the police that were like tailing us to protect us were like, yeah, we got to arrest you.

You're

a public nuisance.

And that's what I think she got arrested for.

So it was actually police that was sent with you guys that was eventually like, we got to call it somewhere and

do an aerial shot or like a widened view of that.

And you can find them on the internet.

No joke, at least 3,000 people were swarming us.

Nobody realizes it, but if you expand the shot and get like a paparazzi view, 3,000 or 4,000 people were like surrounding us in a circle.

Oh, God.

All right.

Next up, Paulie D got mad.

This is one of this words.

I heard that you guys are mad at me, but I ain't doing thing.

Paulie.

So I'm mad at you for being mad at me for no reason.

So try to talk to me.

I'm mad.

Piss.

I have no idea what that even is about, but I'm sure we said something.

Like, oh, we're mad at him and he has such a great sense of humor to like turn it around it was it was so good how do you not break when he's like i'm mad at you for being mad i so i mean it's amazing it was the original gaslighter like perfect it was perfect um he also had to deal with a stage five clinger yes it was he was going through a lot

there's the duck phone for anyone watching that is the duck phone

of calling you but you had already called and you said you wasn't a call so you you stalked my whole life on the broad wall as my turn to talk

my turn to talk

you stalked my whole entire life right and i don't like that i do nothing wrong i feel like i've taken notes from this

when i talk to my own kids it's my turn to talk it's my turn to talk i've learned that too from him right is it my turn is it my turn yep so good he's great that was great and just to be clear the duck phone perfection that's it it shows up so many times and it first of all

quacked guys it quacked as the ringer.

Okay.

But it also is terrible.

Like, nobody understands landlines like we did, but like trying to hear, there was an echo.

So we were like, huh.

Is that because of recording devices in the phone?

It could have been.

Okay.

Or it could have been the

duck.

I'm like, it could have been echoing in the, in the duck's head.

It's fine.

But the duck quacked.

Yeah.

And it was how you guys called the cab company.

Yes.

It was the only way that outside people could reach you.

Right.

So like it was, it was kind of its own character on the show it was the ninth cast member for sure perfect and lastly i just saw this outstanding clip that you posted of your daughter raiding your outfits from your original jersey shore era

queen emma part two of rating my mom's outfit

part two

it's like

it's like a six out of ten like no no it's like a five out of ten

This, I don't know what it's giving.

It's giving Barney the dinosaur.

Oh my god.

It's giving Barney the dinosaur.

Just wait.

Just wait.

Let's move on to the next one.

Just wait.

It's so good.

What, what, what else was she?

What

look did you enjoy that she roasted?

She hates all my alphas.

Does she?

Yeah.

To this day?

To this day, she calls me, and I don't know if it's a good thing or not, but it just aired on Family Vacation.

She called me Y2K.

She's like, you're looking.

I'm like, what does that mean?

And how do you even know what that is

is that what the kids are saying now is that to call us old is that like what we called our parents hippies

you know what i mean yes because that's like the time frame

20 30 years ago like i don't know how to feel about this why 2k but eventually all these things are going to come back around i already said that to her the low-rise jeans are here she wanted an aaliyah shirt the other day i'm like do you even know who aleah is no but it's cool okay then she goes mom i want Tupac.

I said, Do you mean Tupac?

When you learn how to pronounce that, you can have a Tupac shirt.

Thank you.

My goodness, that does it for Doom Scroll of the Week.

Now, since we're talking about your daughter, I'd love to ask you more about motherhood and parenting.

First of all, I will say, how old are your kids now?

She's turning 11, he just turned nine.

And

I just saw a clip again on my on my on my trip down memory lane

of your

when you were doing, I believe it was your YouTube series with Nicole.

Oh, yes.

And she said,

oh,

what?

What did you just say?

And your reaction was perfect.

And Nicole leaned over and was like, use it.

What?

What'd you just say?

You're not supposed to react.

And you walked away and you were like laughing behind her head.

And Nicole is there like, what did you say?

Say it again.

what i assume that means that you curse in your household a little bit we're big fans of that here a little bit yeah i feel like

and listen i'm to be fair she used it correctly she did use it correctly i was actually more impressed with the fact that she used it correctly than the fact that she said it but i don't know how to parent i don't know if you know how to parent no wing it yeah you figure it out and i thought that if i start swearing early on

that it won't be such a desensitizing yes you desensitize you get them over the hump and then they're just like oh whatever I hear that every day because I did have that kid one day in my car before I had kids that I brought a bunch of my friends kids to subway I brought three of them and I'll never forget it one of them just dropped the f-bomb in the middle of the car and the other two were like oh you can't say that and then she's the boy was like yeah you can then she's like I can say fuck and then it became this whole thing in my car and I was like I'm ruined my friends are gonna hate me forever because their kids returned the kid cursing.

Yes.

The kid left not cursing and you returned them.

Oh.

It was such a humbling moment.

And then I realized, well, I just got to curse.

Like, that's just my thing.

Like, if I start cursing right away, then the kids.

So now that I curse, and my son just said it to me this morning because I was saying something under my breath.

He goes, You shouldn't be cursing.

You're better than that.

I'm like, so now I got the reverse.

I got the kids that don't want me to curse.

Right.

But I know, I know them.

I see them and I see my son playing his video games.

They curse

under their breath, behind the scenes.

But they, when they say it correctly,

it's always a moment where you're like, you nailed that.

I can't tell you, you nailed that.

Yeah, you know that.

I gotta walk away.

Yep.

But I'm proud.

God, that was so good.

I heard you say in another podcast interview that you've gone to Nicole for motherhood advice over the years.

Yes.

What's the best piece of motherhood advice that you've gotten from her?

So, our mantra is

we

don't give mother advice unless someone asks for it, because there is nothing worse than somebody giving unwanted parenting advice.

I

love that.

Yes.

So my girlfriend Sammy on the show is pregnant right now and everyone's always like, what are you going to give her advice?

When are you going to give her advice?

I'm like, I'm not.

She'll figure it out.

But if she wants advice,

I will be there for her every step of the way.

I will tell her what I did in that specific situation, which might be different than hers.

But I will never give a mom unwanted advice because it takes a village, first off.

And also, nobody's fucking perfect.

Everybody's winging it.

And as long as you're trying to keep your fucking kid alive,

that's it.

You're doing great, sweetie.

That's it.

There are some days where we get into bed at night and I'm like, everyone is in their bed in clean clothes and alive.

They're alive.

Yes.

We're calling it a win.

Yes, that's a win.

And also, I always like to point out when people ask me for advice now because I'm four deep, I'm like, first of all,

I'm five and under.

I can't tell you anything over five right now.

And also, every single one of our kids are so different.

That if I gave you advice that applied to our first, it wouldn't have worked for our second.

100%.

And so the idea of people giving that unsolicited advice, you're like,

can you put a cork in it?

To me, it's condescending and it's you're projecting because to me, I'm like, why are you giving that to me?

I don't want it.

And you're just trying to say a situation that happened in your life that's not currently happening in mine.

Like you just said, you have four girls under five, all different, all in the same house.

I have a son with autism.

I have a daughter who's highly emotional.

I can't even give the same advice for

in your own house.

In my own house, because I have two different completely parenting styles when it comes to them.

Yes.

So the fuck kind of advice am I going to give?

Holding on by a thread.

It gets better.

It doesn't.

Sorry.

It doesn't.

I already know.

I know that.

It gets different.

It doesn't get better.

It just gets different.

It has a new set of challenges every phase.

God.

Yeah.

Lovely.

And now for the season two premiere of your favorite Duncan soap opera, The Duncan Chronicles.

The role of Kylie will be played by me.

The stage directions read by our queen, Queen Emma.

Action!

Interior Duncan, Ardmore, Pennsylvania, October 2019.

Kylie walks into her neighborhood Duncan and is clearly nine months pregnant and ecstatic about it.

Not gonna lie, being pregnant is uncomfortable.

This baby better at least look like me.

The male Duncan cashier nods along as if he could possibly relate.

But nothing takes my mind off this nausea and insomnia like an ice cold.

Butter pecan.

I'll have my usual, please.

The cashier starts preparing Kylie's medium butter pecan iced coffee with almond milk.

Kylie looks around the store.

She can't get enough of the decor.

Oh my gosh, is that new signage by the ladies' room?

Oh!

Kylie winces in pain.

Was that her first contraction?

In her Duncan?

She starts breathing heavily.

Kylie pulls out her phone and immediately calls someone.

Jason, quick!

I'm in labor.

Where do you think I am?

I'm at Duncan.

No, there's no time to get your fan.

Haul us and get over here.

To be continued.

Well, speaking of motherhood, I saw you are directing a film.

Yes.

About first-time motherhood and postpartum called Nanny Cam.

Yeah.

Tell me more about that.

And did you finish shooting already?

We just finished shooting.

It is about a mother suffering from postpartum psychosis.

I actually believe I was suffering from postpartum with Milani, but I guess when you're crazy, you don't think you're crazy and you only realize you're crazy when you're out of it.

And I was shooting Snookie and Jaywa when I created this concept of nanny cam because

I went into a film house with a newborn because we weren't allowed to go home to our real houses because they were a film ordinance in my town.

So I went to a staged home for my the birth of my first child, which is crazy.

But I actually really respected it because production had cameras everywhere to make sure my daughter was okay.

But it was actually when we rapped that I realized I was developing postpartum and I started putting cameras throughout my own house to make sure I could watch her.

Firstborn problems.

I don't know if she's breathing, sleeping, up, not.

I was highly paranoid.

You're not sleeping at all.

She's not sleeping.

You know the deal.

Yep.

So I started actually like not seeing things in my cameras, but I started being like, ooh, that's a little wonky.

Let me make something out of this.

So 10 years ago, I started writing my

movie Nanny Cam, which is about a mother going through postpartum psychosis that thinks she's seeing things in the cameras that nobody else can see, but nobody else will believe.

And I really want to hit home about mental illness and first-time mothers, women, and how it takes a village and how regardless of

it being real or not, it's real to that person.

My mom has schizophrenia.

So what my mom sees and hears is what she sees and hears.

And it's really just a conversational piece that I'm making on bringing.

mental illness to light because I think just like the guy getting, you know, punching Nicole in the face, if we start talking about these things more and we start showing these things more, people will understand them more and help.

And I want to help women that go through those things.

It's so important, too, to have those conversations because, like you're saying, first-time moms, obviously, you don't know what to expect.

You're not sleeping.

You're going through a grind that like you, anyone could have explained to you and you still have no idea.

Here's a great one.

And I just realized this coming over here.

And I just said this to someone this morning.

I, and you'll see it on Snook Wow and you can see it in pictures.

I shaved my head.

I shaved the side of my head after I had Milani.

Nobody questioned it.

Nobody said, oh, should we get her checked out?

What's going on there?

I went full blonde, shaved, and just was like, chilling.

This is it now.

This is it.

But that's like, in that moment, you were like, this is the right decision.

This is great.

I want a new do.

Yeah.

And looking back, now you're like, yeah, something.

And that's where

yes, where we need to start like asking our friends that just had babies, are you okay?

Do you need a break?

Do you need someone to talk to?

How's your mental health?

Are you sleeping?

Are you eating properly?

Are you seeing shit?

Do you want to shave your head?

Like,

I will say, I did tell my, my, the person who cuts my hair, Jason's barber, but she also does my hair.

I told her when I started having kids, like, hey, if I ever come to you and ask for the mom cut, which is like the really cute, like shorter hair, but I know that that is, that's my threshold.

I told her, if I ever come to you and ask for a shorter haircut, I need you to have, I need you to like take me to the doctor's office.

That's good.

So that is the moment where it's going to be like, no, no, logical, like grounded Kylie knew.

That that was not for her.

And we can't risk it.

That's so important.

And it's so important that you realize that because you knew that was your limit very much and i did the mom cut too and i hated it and i cried and i was like why did i do this when my hormones adjusted that's it and you look back and you knew like i have long beautiful blonde hair i know i'm not touching this crazy

i will i will record i will regret it but sleepless like hungry kylie yeah she probably was like chop that yes yeah no i told i told libby i said libby do not let me do it and she did it but i do think it's so important because I know, and I've talked about this a number of times, I know I had a different experience for every single one of my kids.

I know that I had baby blues for my first.

I know that I experienced some forms of postpartum for like my other girls.

I can acknowledge that, but it's very much what you're saying.

In the moment, it's hard to have a personal check and be like, am I okay right now?

Yes.

And if there's anything that I want people to learn from Nanny Cam, it's that it is going to be terrifying and it's going to be terrifyingly real, but I want people to talk about it and if they could turn to the person that they love, that have children, are going to have children and

start planning

for those situations and give your wife and the mother of your child grace when she's going through them.

That's so amazing.

And I am excited to see it.

Now, something else we have in common is one of the main reasons why I was so excited to have you on the show, particularly this week and in this location.

We're both very involved in the autism community.

You sit on the board for Culture City.

I do.

For those who don't know, Culture City is an organization.

They are actually,

they are the ones who are able to outfit the sensory rooms that are at a lot of the NFL stadiums.

A number of other stadiums are also putting them in.

What drew you to get involved into Culture City?

But I also have to shout you out before I talk about me because I look up to you.

Oh my God, I got chills right now.

I want to cry.

You are such an incredible autism advocate.

Like truly, you, the Philadelphia Eagles, the city of Philadelphia being our first century inclusive city, like I'm going to get emotional, but like I just want to say thank you because there is no me without you in this dynamic because

it's people and places like Philly and like yourself that make Culture City what it is.

The owner of the Philadelphia Eagles is incredible.

I know he did everything for his

brother, right?

Yeah.

But I got involved because my son was diagnosed and I needed help.

The irony is, you know, there's so many ironies in my life, but when my son got diagnosed with autism

by like six doctors, and I know at one point they really did not want to diagnose him because they were scared shitless.

Like, if we get this wrong, this girl's all over television.

And, you know, and they got it right, but it's nerve-wracking for everyone.

But after I got his diagnosis, I did not know what to do besides he needs ABA.

He needs ABA 40 hours a week.

He needs speech and OT and all this stuff.

And then

even then, I was like still overwhelmed and like, let me get a second opinion and let me fly him to Florida for it.

So I fly my son Graceland to Florida and

there was a flight delay on the way back.

And we were sitting in TSA, and I did not have pre-check at the time.

This was nine years ago, eight years ago.

And

he decided to not like that.

And he tried to run through TSA.

And when I tried to stop him, he ripped my glasses off and broke them.

And he like head-butted me.

And it was a very emotional and very real moment that I had with him.

And through all his diagnosing, nobody explained to me sensory issues and sensory processing.

And I had no idea because he really wasn't on a flight before that, that he didn't like lines and he didn't like waiting and he hated delays.

And because he couldn't speak, he couldn't tell me that.

So he took his aggression out on me because I was the closest thing to him.

And I remember seeing everybody's phones go up and everyone's recording, Jay Wow with her son, who is throwing a tantrum in the airport.

And I just remember crying.

And I remember going to the, the, I finally get through TSA and I'm bawling and my, I have scratches and my son's crying and I can't get him in his car seat.

And, and we're having this moment and I just want to get on the plane or hide.

And I'm asking the gate and the gate's like, there's nothing we can do.

Your flight's delayed.

And I'm begging, like.

begging.

I'm like, as a person, as a mom, please help me.

They're like, there's nothing we can do.

So I was able to lock myself in a bathroom with him and get him figured out and lock him into his

stroller.

Like I was like hog tying him at one point just to calm him down.

And we got on the plane and he passed out.

I remember all the looks and I just, you know, he just got diagnosed.

I was, I don't want to talk about his diagnosis.

I was still trying to process that.

And I just did this Karen post on my personal Facebook, like just fucking going off on the whole situation.

And my girlfriend, her husband, Tiki, Barber, and Tracy,

Barbara were like, Hey, we're part of Culture City.

Let me put a sentry room in your house and give you some sensory tools.

So when you're flying, and I was like, What's that?

I had no idea.

And she came over literally 72 hours with Culture City.

They remade a whole bedroom of mine into a sensory room for Grayson.

They explained to me his diagnosis in a way that the hospitals hospitals didn't, that there are going to be challenges with lights and lines and feeling overwhelming, and that he might need headsets or fidget spinners.

And, like, the hospitals don't tell you that when they diagnose.

And

I just started crying.

And I asked them, like, well, what can I do?

to be a part of like your group.

Like, I want to help.

And

yeah, I think

that cut to me being on the board for the last seven years.

And my goal now is to make sure

airports,

TSA agents, and all of the above are not only certified to understand those situations and to de-escalate them, but to create sensory rooms.

So if you're a mother like me going through that, you have a safe place because

nothing is worse.

than when people are taking their cell phones out and doing that.

And I talked about that.

And the iron, not the irony the best part of it is nobody sold that video nobody posted it online i didn't see the light of day it never and it might still but no out of the 20 to 30 people recording i never saw it i i think that there's something to be said about

like it a lot of situations people will give grace to kids right because they're kids

but a lot of times

an escalated situation with an individual on the spectrum might be louder.

It might be harder to de-escalate, specifically in a public area.

So having those spaces to be able to do that, and like, even if it wasn't someone in your position in the public eye and who is a celebrity having that moment, I know that that happens to people who are not in the public eye.

I see it all the time on the internet.

And I'm always like, but what if that child is not having a tantrum?

Like, I always will give grace and I will will always step in to help because you don't know what that parent's going through and you don't know what that child's going through.

And because I had that moment myself, I look at everything differently.

I'll look at every parenting situation differently.

And I

just feel like through Culture City, I just want to help.

And I want to make...

I don't want to make you become the next meme or the next viral video.

Like I find, you know, we have to start like looking at situations from a broader perspective and not just like, oh, that kid's having a tantrum.

Let me record it.

And like start looking at it like, oh, what if I put my phone down and helped?

Well, I think it goes hand in hand with the fact that it, uh, the number statistic for individuals who are diagnosed with on the autism spectrum, they

it has increased.

I believe it's one in 31 now.

It went up from one in 34.

Yeah.

And

that rise in number is because we are more aware aware that these kids might not just be difficult or having tantrums or

not like the airport or be impatient.

It might be that their brain is telling them like fight or flight.

Yeah.

And that's

a terrible thing to feel.

Right.

Yeah.

And a lot of people need to understand that.

And I know older people will roll their eyes and be like, oh, they're over-diagnosing.

No, they're finally diagnosing, is what I say.

And we're finally giving tools and things to people, whether it's, you know, sensory bags at the Phillies game to de-escalate someone, or a sensory room if they're overwhelmed by the noises that they can go into, or if it's training at an airport so they can understand what to do in a situation like that so they can help.

I feel like if all we're asking for is just like helping others, what's wrong with that?

Yes.

And also, I think it's important to note that, yes, the sensory room is intended for the individual who needs to de-escalate or who needs those moments of peace, but it is opening up a world of opportunity for families who have someone in their family who's on the spectrum, who are now able to go into those spaces, who are able to enjoy those opportunities as a family.

Whether it's going to

monster trucks at the stadium or a concert or an Eagles game, you are now given the opportunity as a family to go and do that because you have the space that you need to de-escalate in the situation where someone is having a moment of

disruption, right?

I mean, I'm going to keep fangirling at you, but and not to interrupt, but Grayson, my son, was able to go to the WWE at the Eagles Stadium because of you guys, because you are a sensory certified, the city sentry certified, you have the room.

So he was able to see the pyrotechnics, the huge loud noises, the banging, everything that he thought he could never see or do or make possible.

It was given because Culture City, Eagles, Autism, everyone aligned and allowed it for him.

And because

it's not even about him.

He said, like, Grayson thought it was so cool because he's like, I saw like 25 friends doing the same thing and we were all hanging out in the room together.

That's it.

And I'm like, that's what it is.

It's your, those are your friends.

Those are your people.

He should be allowed to, he should be afforded that opportunity as well.

Yes.

And I do think that Philly,

really dedicating themselves to this mission for Jeffrey to have the vision to create this organization, this foundation, and partner it with the Eagles organization in a way that everyone in that building at the Eagles organization understands the mission and they understand why Jeffrey's passionate about it and why everyone should be passionate about it because it impacts so many people, so many families.

And now people are starting to realize that they have a personal connection that helps them sort of lean in a little bit more.

Yeah.

It's, it honestly, I'm, I'm really proud.

I appreciate you giving me props, but it really is like

you're going to make like a million dollars tomorrow for your organization.

We're going to make that happen.

For any parents out there listening who might be growing through this, what advice would you have?

So for me.

And this is asked parenting advice.

Oh, I know.

It's not unsolicited.

No, I know.

So for me, it's

there when I when my son got diagnosed, the first thing that they said was get him ABA, get him help, get him therapy.

So if you feel that your child isn't meeting the right steps, whether it's going through school systems or the doctor appointments and they're just like behind,

do get the advice.

Don't turn, I have, I do, I have personal friends that are like, oh, my son's just a little bit delayed, but he'll grow out of it.

Don't wait.

Do what needs to be done.

Early intervention.

Early intervention is key.

My son was diagnosed.

I didn't have the insurance.

I didn't have the means.

So I created a business.

I created the means.

I found the way.

I found the way to get the insurance.

Like moms can be unstoppable and you need to be unstoppable for your children.

Early intervention is key.

Going to culturecity.org if you want to find places that are certified to take your children.

If you know they have sensory needs.

I mean, there's such a amount of information now on the internet, unlike 10 years ago.

I feel like

we're, i also feel like we're just getting started though but i also feel like there's so much on the internet to help children where i don't know i feel like i was just like going through it myself or that could have been just me though like i was just going through the most isolating it was very isolating but now i feel like it's less isolating and it should be talked about and don't feel afraid or be afraid to talk about it i really think like being one step ahead and honestly trusting your gut that i think a lot of moms huge know and they don't

pull the trigger.

They don't have the conversation with the doctor because they're like, ah, they'll get around to it.

And some doctors need you to take that extra step to be like, no, I am worried.

Because you do answer the questions at the doctor's office and they'll say, well, you know, they'll get around to it in the next couple of weeks.

Or if it's not happening by your next appointment, we'll talk about it.

And it's like, yeah, but if your mom's gut is sounding the alarm,

you're welcome to do that.

Listen.

Yes.

Yeah.

Well, even though our shore events benefiting the Eagles Eagles Autism Foundation this week are done now, because it's technically Thursday when this releases, we've got plenty more coming up this year that you can get involved in.

The Eagles Autism Foundation often holds sensory-friendly clinics.

Yes.

Grayson's going to go to one.

They have so many different options.

There's a cheer clinic.

There is a STEM clinic, which is a new addition than this last year.

There's football clinics, obviously.

But it really is trying to get kids out for an all-inclusive clinic and make sure that everyone, again, is afforded those opportunities.

If you'd like to donate to the Eagles Autism Foundation and help with our efforts to reach a million dollars in our year five of the guest bartending, we have a link for all the real ones right in the show description.

So you can find that on our YouTube channel or on any of our social media,

probably Wednesday and through Thursday when this episode airs.

I cannot thank you enough.

I can't thank you enough.

It has been such a pleasure to reminisce with you.

I know.

It is, I'm so sorry that we sweat you out here at the Jersey Shore, but I'm glad that you've experienced the South Jersey Shore and that maybe we'll maybe we'll coax you back.

Yeah.

Right?

I am down.

I'll

move in.

It's fine.

Perfect.

Okay.

I have a room upstairs.

I love that.

You can find even more clips from our longer conversation with Jay Wow on my YouTube channel on More Shit Monday.

I'll be back next Thursday with a brand new episode.

Follow Not Gonna Lie on all social media at NGL with Kylie.

Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcast.

Not gonna lie is a wave original brought to you by Duncan.

That's right.

I love it.

Cheers again.

Cheers again.

Thanks to the real ones for tuning in.

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