Kylie & Caleb Hearon on “Piping Hot” NFL Tea, Homecoming Outrage & Potty Training Horror Story | Ep. 37

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Not gonna lie, I felt an immense pressure about packing lunches this year because it was my first time.

And I thought, am I gonna get judged for not packing a nutritious lunch?

But the number of times that lunchbox came back with a decent amount of food in it,

I've succumbed to the idea

that I should pack things that are healthy, but I know they won't eat.

So,

yeah,

judge away.

Let's get this podcast started.

Welcome back to Not Gonna Lie, a wave original brought to you by Peppa Pig.

Let's jump in.

I'm your host, Kylie Kelsey, former D3 athlete.

That's a humble brag.

That's a very humble brag.

Going through a major otter phase right now.

Shout out to Uncle Trav.

Might have to go visit some soon.

And according to my horoscope today, hmm,

Saturn's passing through Pisces.

What the fuck does that even mean?

So, you know what that means?

Go fucking birds.

3-0, baby.

Give me a second.

Coming up on today's episode, my Doom Scroll was on another level this past week.

People have some strong thoughts on homecoming dresses this year, and there's a TikTok that's inspired me to give all my non-football fan, real ones, tips on what to say if you want to prank an NFL fan in your life.

Plus, yes, I have seen you all tagging me in the potty training clip from the other podcast.

I'm going to give you my take on all of it, plus a brand new edition of You Know What's Fucked Up?

After that, I'm going to be joined by one of my favorite comedians, podcasters, and content creators.

He just put out his debut stand-up special.

Guys, I'm talking to Caleb Heron.

I'm so excited.

But first, some real one comments of the week.

First up, who told him?

You guys,

it was a secret.

Last week, I told you guys in confidence that Jason pulled off the mullet look.

Now,

he found the clip.

He commented, mullet is coming back, baby.

No.

Look what you've done.

And then we got another contender for comment of the week from at Peyton Jameson my boyfriend's six-year-old asked me to put on your podcast hey can we listen to that lady talk with four kids

your message is working oh no first of all

don't know if that's my demographic but

chart it ladies

Has there ever been a better description of this show?

The lady that talks with four kids.

That's it.

Sums me up.

Moving on to commemorate a rare occasion where I left the house to solely do something fun for myself.

I'm bringing back one of my favorite segments: places Kylie has some business being.

That's right.

Some of you may have seen I went to the Eagles Rams game with one of my favorite birds fans and former NGL guest, Hannah Einbinder.

First of all, Go Birds.

That game was bananas.

I want to be clear.

There were quite a few people who acknowledged that

the plans made it out of the group chat in parentheses podcast.

I feel very fortunate that I get to link up with people on the podcast and get to know them a little bit.

But

when you get to come together, and bond over your birds fandom

it just hits a little different.

So Hannah and I got the chance to cheer on the birds together.

There was a moment in time where we questioned whether or not she was ever going to be allowed to come back to a game.

Great news, though.

Like I said, go, birds.

We got that W.

Hannah posted this clip of all of us celebrating the blocked field goal to win the game.

Queen Emma, the clip, please.

I think you can tell by my facial expression, we were a little bit excited.

For our audio listeners, there was a lot of jumping, a lot of screaming, a lot of high-fiving.

There was also a lot of me pointing to my chair.

And why was I doing that?

I'm going to tell you because at some point when we were trying to switch the juju, I told Hannah that we needed to figure out a way.

Okay.

So we started with Hannah facing the opposite direction.

She was facing the wall for a minute because, you know, she's committed to the bit.

Okay.

And by the bit, I mean winning.

And so we had her face backwards, but that didn't quite work.

So then I was like, maybe I need to face backwards.

So then I turned around and sat crisscross applesauce in my chair backwards.

Okay.

This is where it became a full team,

it was a team effort.

And by that, I mean, Hannah was turned around, I was turned around, and a woman two rows behind us was

giving me the play-by-play, yes or no, and a brief description for every single play that unfolded.

I reposted a video on my story of us facing away from the field.

You know,

as Hannah wrote, to change up the energy.

And I got a ton of real one birds fans fans in my DM sharing what superstitious shit you did.

I'm going to rapid fire some of those right now because I love them so much and they made me feel seen.

I went and completely changed my clothes.

It worked.

I had to leave the room so they could score that final TD.

Oh my God, I ordered a cheesesteak and changed my jersey at halftime.

I'm a grandma of five.

Does the superstition ever end?

No.

I went to the bathroom and plugged my ears.

This is a no judgment zone.

I walked outside in the third quarter and they scored two touchdowns, came back in, and they weren't looking so great.

So I got sent back outside for the rest of the game.

Can't be a Jinx.

You're damn right, you can't.

These are my people.

These are my people.

You have to do what you have to do.

And here's the deal:

Did me turning around and sitting crisscross applesauce backwards in my stadium seat

change the outcome of the game?

We don't know.

And that's enough for me to continue on with a delusion.

Do you get it?

I just,

it was,

it is so validating that when you're like, I have to do this in a high pressure situation, all of a sudden it's down to a field goal.

I turn around,

sit backwards in my chair,

and it gets blocked for the second time in yesterday's game and run down for a touchdown.

Guys.

And that does it for places Kylie has some business being.

And go birds.

Next up, let's get into Doom Scroll of the Week.

First up on Doom Scroll of the Week, I've seen a lot of TikToks from older generation sharing their disapproval of the types of dresses they see high school girls wearing for their homecoming dances.

And I think TikTok user with Lottie had the perfect response.

I'll tell you one thing for sure, two things for certain.

If you guys saw what I wore to homecoming in the year of our Lord 2015, you would be sick.

Wet seal.

You would be sick and disgusted.

I'm talking Charlotte Roos, stiletto heels, platform this big, dress so tight you can't wear underwear.

I'm talking short, tight, like

hello.

I saw so many TikToks being like, the homecoming dresses these are crazy.

I go to look it up.

Girl, did you ever step into a wet seal?

Just let the teenage girls be teenage girls.

Couple things here.

She left no crumbs.

The fact that she referenced both Charlotte Roos and Wet Seal makes me feel like we were shopping the same mall.

Second,

I,

it does crack me up that for some reason,

as we get older, I think that people have a tendency of forgetting that they were once them, right?

Oh, I can't believe that my 17-year-old child snuck a beer out of our fridge.

Would you sneak?

Tell me right now.

Would you sneak?

Guys, we can't forget where we came from, okay?

And you know where we came from?

Wet seal.

Buy one, get one for a penny.

Okay, we came from forever 21.

Don't wash it.

Do not wash it.

Forever 21

should have been called forever wear it once.

That's it.

That's what it should have been called.

You could not wash that shit.

I

forever 21, may she rest in peace.

I don't mean to speak ill of the dead, but

I will tell you right now.

God rest her skimpy ass soul.

Okay.

She had

interesting fashion sense and also the weakest seams you've ever experienced on an article of clothing.

So, uh,

to be clear, I didn't have homecoming, so I'm out on this.

Uh, lucky for me, I had to wait until college to wear a Charlotte Roos body con skirt with a tank top tucked into it as smoothly as humanly possible because body suits were not a thing and either were cropped tank tops.

I said what I said, okay?

So you had to fold it and tuck it in.

I had to wait until I was 21 years old

to wear those out because

I didn't have homecoming in high school and also

I didn't have a fake ID because I'm a rule follower and I had never snuck into a bar.

And also,

I am almost six feet tall, 5'11.

I know I've said that so many times,

but I have to emphasize that here because every single time I left the house in what was a normal article of clothing,

in the proper size,

my father would say,

try again.

And that is the point to upstairs.

He would point up the steps and he would say, try again.

And

I would say, it's your fault that my legs are this long.

And it's not that the article of clothing is too short.

It's that my leg in comparison makes the shorts or skirt or dress look too short.

And I still wasn't making it out of the house in that.

TikToker said, let teenage girls be teenage girls.

I can live by that until my girls are teenage girls.

And then we'll see if I have a change of heart there.

So, don't know.

We'll find, maybe we'll find out together.

No, we won't.

I won't be cut podcasting.

And lastly, on this week's Doom Scroll, there's a new way non-football fans are trolling their super fan partners while watching NFL games, and it's fucking hilarious.

Queen Emma, the clip, please.

Yelling random phrases during football to get my boyfriend's reaction.

Squeeze it, squeeze it,

squeeze what?

Get what?

Squeeze it is one of the most.

The best part about squeeze it is that maybe

you could say that it's applicable to

holding the ball tighter on a carry for ball security, but squeeze it just sounds ridiculous.

This actually has inspired me to come up with some more nonsense phrases that real ones can shout to troll their football fan spouses.

Number one, smack it.

Variants include smack that ball, smack it to the house, smack it in there.

This next one is inspired by Boppit.

So you can really do any of these or a combo.

Number two is twist it, pull it, bop it.

I feel like this is a nod to the 90s.

Let's just enjoy the fact that we were part of the Boppit generation.

It sounds like a good time.

Bop it!

Pull it!

Twist it!

You can literally, you can twist it!

Twist it!

Pull it!

Bop it!

You can do a whole combination.

That's fun.

Feel free to tack on his ass

to any of these.

Twist his ass!

Pull his ass!

Bop his ass!

You know, just one of those.

You cannot push his ass because that's actually a valid outburst

and

applicable to the birds.

Number three,

hit him with the worm.

The only one I really think, I think maybe this might,

this might apply

to a touchdown celebration.

In which case, hit him with the worm.

That would be outstanding.

In any other situation, what?

You know, when you you should say hit him with a worm, you should say it when it's a bad outcome for your team.

That would be fucking hilarious.

Like, they lose a yard or something, be like, hit him with the worm.

Like,

what?

Attention reel ones, please post a video of yourselves trying these.

We want to see it.

Okay, so when you're watching football this week, feel free to tag us at NGL with Kylie.

That's it for Doom Scroll the Week.

All right, moving on.

Something happened to me yesterday that's given me no choice but to bring back another favorite segment.

You know what's fucked up?

Hey, you know what's fucked up?

I just accidentally picked up a literal turd off my kids' bathroom floor with my bare hand.

I'm almost embarrassed to say this on the internet.

I'm embarrassed to put this out into the world.

So.

Let's start from the beginning.

We've been deep into foil fun recently.

And if you have any idea what foil fun is, then you understand how it is not the tidiest activity.

They come with foam stickers.

They're black foam stickers that you put on the little board and arrange them.

And then you can put these little foils down on them, make them whatever shiny color you want.

It's actually very fun.

Wyatt is obsessed with it.

Everyone else just likes to make a mess.

But these

black foam stickers then end up getting on everything and everywhere in the house.

And so Fenny and I were headed into the bathroom for a little potty party, if you will.

And I looked down on the floor and she said, Oh, it's poop.

And if anybody knows

conversations with

children that span the ages of mine, which would be five to two who are speaking,

my five to two age range, they're so into poop.

Just, I want to say poop for every other word.

An answer to a question is poop.

Toilet is also a word that is an answer to anything.

A fart, also an answer to anything.

So, really, our potty talk is, it is

very exciting right now.

So, naturally, when Benny points to the thing on the floor and says, is poop, I thought it's just her being her normal self, labeling things in in the house that are not actually poop as poop.

Because as I looked down, I thought to myself, oh, it's a freaking sticker.

It's another one of the damn foam stickers stuck on the floor, right?

Wrong.

I was wrong.

I bent down, and thinking that it was a sticker stuck to the floor with quite a bit of force, I squeezed what I thought was a foam

sticker.

I raw dogged it.

I didn't take a tissue paper, I didn't put a glove on, I thought I was picking up a fucking foam sticker.

You know what it was?

A tiny turd.

It was a tiny turd.

Benny was right.

It was poop.

I think you can imagine

with a germaphobe like me,

I proceeded

to have a small, as the kids would call it, crash out.

And I washed the skin off of my hands.

Now,

we got to the bottom of whose turn it was.

And I'm not pointing any fingers, but

the call was coming from inside the bathroom, if you catch my drift.

And it was correctly identified by the culprit.

Since we're already on this lovely subject of potty talk, A lot of you tagged me in a clip from the other podcast where my husband and brother-in-law recently talked about potty training.

The clip, please, Queen Emma.

With Wyatt, she was the first one that you actually had to like proactively get her to go on the potty.

And the way we potty trained her is you can see them just starting to like, it ain't like hard to spot.

Like, she goes off in the corner and just see her face starting to go, like,

do you need to poop right now?

Why?

And then you're like, hey, let's go up on the potty.

Once they get to a certain age, you're like, hey, let's go up on the potty.

The top comment was, everything about this answer tells me Kylie took the lead on potty training.

Guys, I can truly say, first of all,

in reference to my husband's explanation, no notes, not a single fucking note.

He nailed that.

There was not a single lie told.

The other thing is,

I will,

I'm not going to lie.

Potty training, as I think most people know,

is a team effort.

I don't think there was ever like a coaching up moment where I was like, like, all right, Jason, this is what we're going to do.

We didn't huddle up about potty training.

It's as clear as Jason said, it was just

that you could tell when they go to hide behind a chair that the time is upon us.

And then you just got to scoop them up before that happens.

And that is where it becomes a team effort.

Whoever's in the room and catches the child sneak behind a chair, that's the person who's like, grab them.

And then you got to run.

It's a, it is a fact.

They're going because they're ready, right?

They're going behind the chair because they're ready, or they're going into the corner in the other room because they're ready.

So you have to run.

So it's kind of like a little athletic event that it's like, scoop the kid, get them upstairs, pants them,

and get them on the potty as quick as possible.

Team effort.

That's it for you know what's fucked up.

Caleb Heron is coming up, but first, Peppa Pig.

As the real ones know, my love language isn't necessarily receiving gifts, but you know whose is?

All of my children.

Yes, Wyatt, Ellie, Benny, and I'm sure Soon Finn love presents for any and all occasions.

Wyatt is already talking about her birthday and we are two weeks out from it.

She tried to call it her birthday month and I had to explain that birthday actually contains the timeline within it.

Well, luckily, they don't have to wait until their birthday or holidays because I've got a bunch of new Peppa Pig toys here.

I know they're going to be so excited about.

Joining me on set today, we have the brand new oinks and snuggles Eevee doll

in honor of Mommy Pig welcoming the new baby Eevee and my girls love a baby doll.

They love them so much.

I would say right now Benny is the one who loves baby dolls the most.

So she is going to be all over baby Evie.

Oinks and Snuggles Eevee also has 20 sound effects your kids can activate.

Whether it's a birthday, a special treat, or a holiday surprise, your little Peppa Pig fan will be thrilled with the Oinks and Snuggles Eevee doll available exclusively at Walmart.

Shop online and in stores near you.

He's the hilarious actor, writer, and comedian you know from his hip podcast, So True, his TikTok videos that have achieved So Funny You'll Pee Your Pants laughing status in my book, and now his brand new debut stand-up special, Model Comedian, streaming now on HBO.

Caleb Herron, welcome to Not Gonna Lie.

Hi, I'm so excited to be here.

I am so excited to have you because

I

was

introduced to you via TikTok and clips from your podcast.

So true.

I think that

your wit and intelligence and speed are all just put on display there.

And it is so satisfying to watch.

Thanks.

Not to mention your friendship with Drew Affaolo, who I had the pleasure of speaking to on Not Gonna Lie, Brittany Broski, like watching you guys riff off of each other is one of the funniest things I've ever watched.

They're the best and funniest and smartest.

If I've ever said anything funny, it is there's at least a 60% chance it's because of something that happened in our friendship.

I just think they're, I think they're so funny.

And when we get together, it's like my favorite thing.

I also have to tell you that, you know, there are these random things that happen that like I've been doing comedy for a long time and there'll be little milestone type things that, you know, people from your past will reach out about like someone from high school or whatever.

And it's, it's sweet.

I have never in my life, no, no

show, no accomplishment, no anything, never gotten so much outreach as when you shouted me out on your show, when, when the iHeart thing happened and you're like, oh, Caleb's show is up too,

and said that you like the show.

I have never in my life gotten more people that I haven't spoken to in years texting me and going, so sorry.

Kylie knows who you are.

No, it was so, it's just always the funniest.

I'm like, I'm like, I love Kylie too, but damn, they are coming out of the woodworks.

They love you.

That's very sweet.

I said it then and I fucking meant it, okay?

The best part is, is that when I, when we were talking about our rundown that day,

I was like, why?

Why?

Why?

So vote for Caleb.

No, same.

I'm like, I mean, I think, you know, to your, like earlier, you were joking about, and I don't know if this makes into the episode or not, but you were joking about being like unprofessional professionals and being like, we're just kind of flying by the seat of our pants.

And I think I know that that's what people really respond to about you and why you do deserve to win awards, that one and others.

People really feel like you are their friend because you're a regular, nice person who's like, I just think that there are so many great things about you, and I am a fan.

And I think that the biggest one and why you won that award and will probably win a whole bunch more is because people really see you and they go, oh, if I, that's how I would do it if I was in that position.

It feels very human the way that you're handling all of this.

Yeah, I mean, I appreciate that.

I appreciate those kind words.

I just truly think that

if that is what people are attached to, I

I mean, that's all I've got.

I keep like, I've met people in person who are like, I just love how like real you are.

And I'm like, that's all I've got.

I don't know how to be anybody else.

I'm just, I'm going to be me.

So you either like it or you don't.

But

if you don't, suck my ass.

Leave it in.

Leave it in.

Leave it in.

It's just, it's, yeah, it's, I mean, it's,

you know, from podcasting, it's like you.

week to week, you're like, this is what I'm going to say.

And this is my opinion.

And like people either latch on or they don't.

And they either get your humor or they don't.

But I, I mean,

back to you, because I really think that you are one of the funniest people on the internet specifically.

I really,

I could not watch your

clips specifically.

And also with Drew and Brittany Broski, I could not watch your clips while I was pregnant.

Because my bladder control couldn't handle it.

I'm not exaggerating.

There were times where I would have to like scroll away from it to like breathe and then scroll back and be like, okay, give it to me again.

It is

the way you guys go back and forth with each other, the banter you have, it is, I mean, I'm full fangirl, like aggressively fangirl.

And it's nice.

And it's, I love that it, it comes from

like a place, a place of positivity.

Like you guys will like poke fun and like joke around, but ultimately it's like comes from a place of positivity and like being good people

and wanting good for people

i think it's just not that deep i think nothing should be that serious i feel like we've a whole bunch of us we the collective royal we all of us that we're all the life we're all participating in capital l so many of us have gotten so serious and so like there's these like sacred subjects and sacred topics and sacred feelings that no one's supposed to i just am like everybody relax like let's calm down this is supposed to be fun we only get to do this once like let's have a fucking nice time.

Let's, let's laugh at how ridiculous this all is.

It's insane that we're like spinning on a rock in space.

That's fucking crazy.

We made up all these rules about,

you just stop and think sometimes about everything we made up for ourselves to exist in every day.

And you're like, this is stupid.

We should be making fun and laughing.

This is crazy.

Yes.

Now.

I have so many things I want to ask you about your new stand-up special, but first of all, congratulations.

Thanks, dude.

Thank you.

Once again, it's Model Comedian.

It's streaming now on HBO and HBO Max.

Now, one of the things that you discuss in your special is the name of the special, Model Comedian.

And

we're going to, if you're okay with it, show the clip.

Oh, yeah, yeah, amazing.

Queen Emma, roll the clip, please.

I'm not even so mad anymore at people who are mean to me on the internet.

Now I've kind of turned my eye, or I'm more mad at like when my fans try to defend me and they're bad at it.

Do you you know what I'm saying?

Like, someone commented on a video of mine, and he was like, I don't get the hype with this guy.

He's ugly as fuck.

And I read that and I was like, shout out, you know?

And I was like, let's just let it be, you know?

And then I saw one of my fans respond to him and say, he's a comedian, not a model.

Hey.

Hey, what?

No.

Fuck.

Now, get to my office now.

Now, Now, I say I don't look at the comments, but occasionally I do take a peek.

What is

I know you said you haven't looked that much?

Is there one that sticks out?

One that

is staying with you, yes, on the special.

Oh, God.

I really, I really have not looked that much.

I'm trying to

get a better relationship with that.

I think I have a pretty good one, but I'm trying to get even better at it.

There was one that made me laugh that was

on one of HBO's TikToks that I saw from some girl.

It was like all lowercase.

And it was like, are we sure he's not Filipino?

He looks just like my uncle,

who is Filipino.

And I was like, incredible.

Thank you.

I love that.

I just love the idea of they're Filipino investigating me in the comments.

And I would love, I would love to be Filipino.

It's just not my truth at this moment.

But it really cracked me up.

The idea that like maybe we're hiding it.

Is there

comment overall that has been your favorite throughout your career, throughout TikTok, your comedy, all of it?

Is there a comment that you haven't shared maybe that really, it still sits with you?

A comment that still sits with me.

There was.

There was a guy.

I don't know if I've ever talked about this, but I randomly do have a lot of like Republican, kind of conservative fans, which cracks me up because I am making fun of them all the time.

Now, I do make fun of everybody, but I'm just like, specifically, I'm so ideas.

I'm

not exposed, yeah.

But I did,

I don't know, I didn't look into the profile, so I don't know if this was like one of my gay fans being

silly or if this was genuine.

But someone commented once on there was some viral video of me on someone else's podcast or something, and they commented,

they said, I'm homophobic, but this guy is funny.

And I absolutely love that so much.

That is one of my favorite things.

That's wildly self-aware, first of all.

It's all

just like, that is such a huge compliment because a big part of my thing is that I'm a gay guy.

So you really have to be rocking with the material to break through that.

Look at you just.

I mean, you're breaking down barriers is what you're doing.

That's what that is.

That's busting down barriers.

That's incredible.

Some guy did message me.

I don't know if I, if I have it to read it to you directly, some guy did message me right after the special came out, like the night after, and said, I am a straight white male, Navy veteran,

Catholic, like listed all these things.

And he was like, and I just saw your HBO special and I'm a fan.

And I was like, okay.

I was like, hey, I don't think you'll probably be hanging around for long, but I love that we got there for a moment and what a beautiful window we shared together in my DMs.

Rock on, brother.

Now, do you find that you set the boundary of not reading comments?

Does that include DMs?

I read the DMs probably more often than I read the comments because I am interested in...

I'm interested in how people behave when they think no one's perceiving.

Like,

it is very sociologically interesting to me.

When people behave badly in the public public comment section, I'm like, oh, you're not a real hater.

You

have some kind of

embarrassment kink and you're hoping that I'll like go off on you and give you a shit.

You're just an instigator.

Like you're trying to pull either shit from you or shit from the rest of the people commenting.

Yeah, you're lonely and you'd like someone to look at you and that's actually quite sad and not very fun.

But when you DM me some hateful shit, you're really about that.

Like this is for the love of the game.

Like you really don't like me.

And so when I stumble across one one of those, I find it sociologically interesting.

But mostly, my DM requests are lesbians,

um, just responding like, Go, girl, or

it's really nothing, it's usually pretty fun in there.

So,

I don't read comments very often, I don't, I

don't want to film my free time with that, and so I don't read comments often, but

every so often,

I hit like

maybe 10 DMs, and I'm like, uh,

I'm good for a while.

That's that was not that fun.

I can't imagine your DMs because you have so many unique axes.

There's all these men that are fans of your husband and your brother-in-law, and then there's all these people that are fans of, you know, Taylor who, like, I'm sure the DMs are crazy.

And then on just like a baseline, kind of beneath all of that, you're a woman on the internet with a platform.

So that is already psycho.

I kind of can't imagine the firestorm that's going off in your TMs actually.

If you ever want a good just

sit down and sort of veg in it, I'll let you log into my Instagram.

You can have it.

I do.

Yeah, I'll hit you up.

Now, leading in to this special, I'm assuming that you toured all over the country.

I've asked every touring comedian and musician this question when I've had them on.

So I'm about to do it again.

Where does Philly rank in your favorite places to perform?

I actually owe Philly an apology.

and I'm really glad you're bringing this up because, and you didn't tell me you were going to ask this, but I'm so glad that it's coming out because Philly is genuinely one of my favorite places to tour.

And I love that.

Are you just saying this because it's me?

Because

the next part of that was that I will take it personally.

No, no, it's not just because it's you.

I genuinely, and I actually have a funny Philly story that I'll tell you, but I love performing in Philly.

The shows there are always fantastic.

The audiences are incredible.

There's a real good comedy scene there.

So a sensibility and an understanding of how to behave at shows.

I was saving Philly.

I didn't put Philly on my last, my So True live tour because I was saving those ticket sales to go to Philly and do some test shows of the hour before I recorded this special.

That was the, I haven't said this anywhere, but Philly was pissed at me.

They're in my DMs.

They're in my comments.

They're like, is this about the Super Bowl?

I'm like, no, they're livid with me.

And I'm like, I can't tell you because the shows aren't confirmed.

And then I ended up not being able to make it work in my schedule to go to Philly and do the test shows either.

So I ended up skipping Philly, much to my own sadness, on a whole tour cycle.

That is

my apology to Philly.

And I'm going to do something really big in Philly next time I go on tour.

My funny Philly story is that my friend John is from Philadelphia.

He's a huge Eagles fan.

Shout out, John.

And his parents came to my most,

yeah, my most recent show in Philly, like a year and a half ago.

And his parents are lovely, incredible, wonderful human beings who I adore.

I've met them multiple times.

And afterwards,

I'm chit-chatting with his mom.

And his dad's like, I was, I had, was, uh,

there was a guy who came to the show that I was going to hook up with after the show.

He was like a guy that I hook up with in Philly.

Whatever, it's like that sometimes.

No one worry about it.

And

I had like, the guy had come over and they had been, he walked away to get a drink or something.

They're like, who's that?

And I was like, oh, that's a guy I'm going to hook up with later.

But right now we're chit-chatting, you know?

And his dad, my buddy's dad, has like walked away.

And I'm like, where's your dad?

And he goes, oh, he's leaving.

And so I ran after him and I was like, you're going to leave without saying goodbye to me?

No hug?

And he goes, he turns around and I can't do a Philly dad accent.

But he's like, an Italian guy.

He's like, I thought you were going to get some ass.

And I was like, no, I'm hanging out with you guys right now.

But that's one of my favorites.

Will come.

But right now, I'm talking to you.

Everybody's going to get laid.

Everybody's going to get laid.

Don't worry about that.

Right now it's family time.

But it really cracked me up.

How supportive.

We love a supportive king.

And being like, oh, if you're trying to get laid, I'll leave.

Like, that's, that's.

Let me excuse myself.

That's beautiful.

But come back here.

You just have to come and

impart your comedy on us.

We just need you to drop it right in Philadelphia where it belongs.

I'm in such a tough place with Philly right now because obviously the Chiefs and Eagles of it all.

And I'm such a massive lifelong Chiefs fan.

I mean, I was there when it was like pre-Andy, pre-Travis, like it was when things weren't that fun.

Yeah.

It was not fun.

And my problem with Philly right now is that like, obviously, the Eagles are like fucking untouchable, but so goddamn likable.

Jalen Hurts is like...

Just like the most likable.

I'm really kind of mad.

I keep trying to find angles to get the rivalry interesting.

And I've got nothing on Jalen Hurts.

And I'm just like, I'm kind of sick of it.

I thought I had it.

It's making it really hard to have a proper feud, you know?

I do appreciate so much that your Chiefs fandom spills into your relationship with the Philly, like the city of Philadelphia as a whole.

I respect that on a level I can't even explain.

I got booed.

I brought up the Chiefs on stage at my last Philly show and they booed me.

And doesn't that feel like a warm hug?

It does.

It felt like family.

I was like, I love that about y'all.

Right.

I mean, we do it to them to, if they were not doing as well as they are right now, we'd be booing them too.

It's love.

It's all love.

And I do feel it.

With the Kansas City Chiefs, do you have

a favorite player?

I'm not expecting, I'm not.

You don't have to say my brother-in-law.

My dad's favorite player was Derek Thomas.

And so he's always been kind of up there for me.

My favorite player right now is probably

Isaiah Pacheco.

I'm really, I just love him.

I love his energy.

I love his vibe.

Yeah, probably Isaiah.

But Travis, shout out to Travis.

I know that you don't want me to say him, but of course.

I don't want you to say him if it's not him.

Obviously, he is my favorite chief forever and always

but i don't want you to say him just because you think that's what i want to hear no i do love travis i love it is what i want to hear and that's the wrong answer yeah

and now i wanted to hear it and now we're actually beefing for two reasons um no i one thing i love about all the the guys on the team right now is how much they and travis is a big part of this how much they turn show up for the city like they they're always at the charity events they're always doing all of the the stuff around town and i feel like that, the cool part about football to me and what I'm always trying to tell people who don't give a shit about football, which is a lot of people in my life, I'm like,

when it's going well, it's so good for the whole city.

It's like things happen because people are excited about the team.

And I think that's the thing I love the most about it.

That's honestly, Travis has given us the best glimpse into Kansas City because of the things that he gets involved in there.

And just, I mean, in terms of like charitable stuff, he introduced us to something that he holds really near and dear to his heart, which is Operation Breakthrough.

And I've actually gotten a chance to go and visit and to see projects that they're working on.

And they're actually working on one for Jason right now.

It's one of the coolest places I've ever visited.

The people there are incredible.

But those are like, that's how Travis, that's how I've learned about Kansas City through Travis's lens.

And it really is football, charitable efforts, things that he feels strongly about, and then delicious barbecue.

And I am so down for all of it.

Yeah,

it's a really awesome town.

I really, I love it here so much, and I love anybody who loves it.

And Operation Breakthrough is incredible.

And like

Travis and a lot of those guys are at, they do stuff for like Big Slick every year with Sudakis and Paul Rudd and all those guys, and

Heidi Gardner.

And I, yeah, I just think it's, I think it's really cool, and I think it's good for a city to have something to be excited about.

Yes.

Now, not to bring up any hard topics now that we're mending these broken spots.

A couple weeks ago, the Chiefs and Eagles played.

Yeah.

Anything?

Any thoughts about that?

In my opinion, no, they didn't.

As far as I'm concerned, that didn't happen.

Yeah.

What I will say, I will say this.

One of the times that the

Eagles and Chiefs played in regular season

was the year that the Eagles won the Super Bowl.

And that year, the Chiefs won the regular season game.

Right.

Who knows what that means?

So maybe here's what I can contribute.

Okay.

I think that the NFL should have a broadcast option.

Shouldn't be the main broadcast.

I don't want to mess with the main product.

You guys do your thing.

There should be a broadcast option that is

a panel of three people.

One of them is a dyed-in-the-wool ex-NFL, like classic commentator, like exactly what you'd expect.

One is a gay guy who knows ball.

And one is

a third person who knows nothing about the game, the teams, or anything that's going on.

You can ask questions.

Yes.

And

that person's job is to go like, wait, why, when they throw down the yellow thing, what is that?

You know, and then it's, so it's a spectrum of experiences and knowledge.

I think this broadcast would completely revolutionize the watching experience.

I love that so much.

I think it'd be cool.

Because I do think there are a bunch of spaces where people have tried to capture the idea of, let me explain football.

Let me help you get involved.

Let me help you understand.

Yeah.

But watching it live and doing it simultaneously would be the best way to consume that.

Yeah.

And you, I'm so into this.

You need someone to explain it.

Like, I, my personal mission in life has been to get girls and gays into football, the ones who don't care.

And I have found so many fun ways to do it.

One is talking about how hot some of the players are.

That gets some people in.

But the bigger one is when you, when you can explain it kind of like Real Housewives, when you're like, okay, the reason that the Packers playing the Cowboys is so interesting this week is because Micah Parsons and the Cowboys just went through a huge breakup.

And now he's with someone new.

And now he's going out and he knows his ex ex is going to be there with his new girl you know like and he's got to show up he has to show out like this is you have to you know what that's like so explaining the drama of the league because there is so much drama all the time this is the stuff we need to be talking about honestly the idea of doing it during a broadcast is chef's kiss i don't think there's anything that could it just sounds

It sounds perfect.

And I do think that that is exactly what you're saying about the drama.

It is.

And it runs deep.

The tea is piping hot and they don't even know the tea is piping hot who who had the chance to draft who and didn't how are they doing now where do they play who used to play here but doesn't anymore well it's all i mean baker mayfield alone you could get into like was in cleveland not in you know what i mean like we're like

what was that breakup like and then how is he doing with like you know what i mean i just

How are you thriving in your next relationship?

I like this.

It's really interesting, right?

Or like Russell Wilson just got benched for Jackson Dart to start.

This is like, regardless of how you feel about it, this is a deeply interesting, like human story.

And when you're watching the game through that lens, it's actually so much more nuanced and interesting than like, I like when guys hit each other.

It's like, there's actually, I think even the like, the most broiest, like manly straight guys who love football, whether they know it or admit it, they, they also love the drama.

It's part of it for them.

Absolutely.

They've just figured out how to frame it in a way where they're like, it's masculine.

It's like, no, he did just break up with the owners of the Cleveland Brothers.

It's real housewives.

Yeah.

This is your real housewives.

Yeah.

Yeah, no.

And like the drama in the locker room that occasionally leaks.

And you're like, no one's going to talk about how like a quarterback and the receivers don't get along, but he's supposed to throw to them on a weekly basis and they're supposed to do it together as a team.

Like, what are we talking about?

This is good.

This is group dynamics.

This is drama.

This is good stuff.

So we need it.

I think we need a broadcast that delves into all of this.

I really like that.

NFL.

I like that a lot.

Hit us up.

We've got ideas.

Caleb, I know people.

And you know what?

I believe you.

I believe that you know people.

Let's see what we can do.

Let's go.

Let's do something.

We do have a

tiny habit of manifesting here.

So, NFL.

Hey.

I'm putting it out.

NFL.

Hey.

Hey.

We just got a quick, you want to pop on a Zoom real quick?

The Caleb and Kylie sweatpants on the couch with like

weight.

With like appetizers just being like, okay, so.

Not us being their worst fucking nightmare because

the most unprofessional professionals coming in and just being like, hello.

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Now, I'd love to switch gears here and do a segment with you.

I like to call Doom Scroll the Week.

Cool.

The segment is basically that I like to do Scroll.

It's how I turn my brain off.

And I feel like you're probably going to be very good at breaking down some of these clips.

Great.

This is Doom Scroll Caleb Edition.

This is a snippet from an all-time classic where you tell the story of Cooper and the cologne.

Cooper always got compliments on smelling really good.

I was like, okay, I know how I can be really popular is if I just figure out what cologne Cooper wears.

And he'll probably tell me because he was so cool to me about the pants.

I was so chill about my moose level.

No, he was so chill about.

That's fucking Ohana.

That's fucking familiar right there.

That's gang.

That's gang.

That's fam.

That's gang, that's fam.

And so I said, Cooper, what cologne do you wear?

And he said, oh, I don't know, it's just like, I don't know, my mom gets it for me.

And I go, oh yeah, but like what is

every time I get a chance to be like, Cooper, do you even know like what the bottle looks like?

You know,

I'm being so persistent.

And finally, I go, I need to know what clone you are.

And he goes, if I tell you, will you just stop talking to me?

And I go, and I go, and I go, yeah.

Now, first of all, this clip has 13.5 million views.

Crazy.

Have you heard from Cooper?

No.

You know, it's so funny.

This story has taken on, it was a throwaway story on the show.

It's not like material that I planned or something.

It just kind of came up and it has taken on a life of its own to an extent where like every one of my comment sections is like, what color is the box, Coop?

And I'm like, oh my God, like it really will never die, the story.

But I will say,

he's not reached out.

I don't know where he is in the world.

Shout out to him.

But the...

There's not enough appreciation.

As much as that clip is watched and talked about and beloved, there's not enough appreciation for the fact that the true comedy in that clip comes from Drew and Brittany.

They are the like they are teeing everything up, they are making the bit move.

They are, there is no, there's nothing funny or watchable or interesting about that clip if it's not for how brilliant and funny those two are.

And I sometimes get annoyed that I'm like, it's not, it's people like heap praise on me or try to like pit us against each other, but I'm like, they are the engine that makes that actually funny.

Yeah, I that that, this is one of the clips that I could not watch pregnant.

They're so funny.

They're so funny, dude.

It's the laughter in the background.

It's as if you're like listening in on like a friend's story and you're laughing at like their sad, like, like you're, you're like, you're almost like commiserating with them in your laughter of like, God, that must have really sucked in hindsight.

But in that moment, you were like, I tell me the fucking clone.

Yeah.

Tell me what it is.

Middle school is so brutal, dude.

And you just want to, oh, you want to fit into, and none of your kids are there yet, are they?

No, good God, no.

That's what I thought.

They're all, they're all young.

But the, it's just middle school is such a like you just don't anything because you also have started to understand, by the way, and part of what that story is about, really, is like you've started to understand social capital and you've started to understand that certain people have it and certain people don't, and that they get it through various things, right?

And you don't know that that's what it is because you're a child, but yes, it's uh, yeah, you just I remember being that age and how badly you felt like anything could change or ruin your life on a dime.

Like every little thing felt like it was the consequences of the whole world crashing down on you.

Yep.

And that's an inherently funny place to be because when the stakes are high for somebody who doesn't know how silly their thing is, that's like, that's a comedy 101.

It's so funny.

Yeah, it's middle school is trash.

And if you can like get a laugh out of that much pain,

God bless.

It's

it is it is it is crazy how much transition transition happens.

And I don't know how your schools are structured out there, but our middle school was three years when I was in it.

And it felt like it was the three shittiest years.

It was like,

how did we capsule this

and then put us all in a school together and like, let's fucking see what happens?

A unique spell of like, yeah, Lord of the Flies.

It was ridiculous.

It's wild.

It's wild.

Okay.

Our other clip for Caleb Doomscroll.

You've had your mom on your show a couple times.

I I love this clip in particular, Queen Emma.

Do you think about me all the time?

Well, you're a part of me.

See, but that's a crazy thing to say to someone.

I'm a part of you.

You are a part of me.

And I like that you feel that way.

You're a great mom, but I don't know.

Do you know that cells actually cross back and forth from a child to a mother when they're in the womb?

Yeah, but that happened so long ago for us.

They say that the cells stay in there, but even after you have the child, you still have some of their cells inside of you.

I think that's why moms are so good to their children, and their children break their hearts because they don't have any cells from the mom and them

so you think that there's cells from me and you you and me yep and you think that's why you can't stop texting me

dude she's the funniest uh coming from someone who admittedly calls their mom multiple times a day

uh

I don't, I don't, I mean, do you have any advice for me?

Because I feel like you're trying to create a degree of separation in that clip.

My mom, no, I'm a total, look, I even have the touchy to prove it.

I'm a total mama's boy.

I love her down.

She's the funniest person I have ever met in my whole life.

My mom is the coolest, best.

It's funny because some people, that one, the clips of my mom all kind of get a bunch of attention because of how charming she is.

But some people did get mad at that episode that they were like, oh, he's being so mean to her.

And I'm like, oh, no, we're friends and we're playing.

Like,

we're kidding.

I love that she texts me all the time.

I was at, I was at her house last night, actually.

I went over there for dinner.

Um, yeah, she's the coolest, and I don't actually want separation from her, but she does text like such a mom, like, it really is like if I don't text back for one hour, I'm a full-grown adult with like a job that happens all the time.

Yeah, um, if I don't text back for an hour, hi, um, just wondering if you're upset with me or if everything's okay, shit like that, where I'm like, girl, you gotta get, you gotta get a grip.

Oh, it feels a little,

it feels a little coopery.

By the way, now, where do we think I got it from?

I can't imagine being a parent, dude.

It must be, I can't imagine how much she actually is exercising restraint.

I feel like if I created a human being from my body, I would be every minute of the day like, why isn't it talking to me?

Now, the last thing I'd love to talk to you a little more about is your acting career, where you are officially going to be in the Devil Wears Prada 2.

Yeah.

How fucking cool is that?

Well, that's really crazy.

I can't believe they're doing that.

I mean, that's really nuts.

I'm like, what are y'all thinking?

Yeah, I actually wrapped it already.

So my scenes are done.

And it was like the coolest, most surreal.

I mean, I watched the original Devil Wears Prada as like a closeted gay kid in Missouri when I was like 11 years old, you know?

And it meant so much to me.

Yeah, being a part of the new one is just crazy cool.

And all those

people who worked on the original, a lot of them are back.

The writer, the director, the cast, like the costume people, like so many of the original people.

And they're all just the most generous, lovely people.

So it was a really cool one to do.

Now, were you starstruck in meeting the cast?

You know, not really.

I don't, not really, but I will say

it was cool.

And it was more than being starstruck about like, oh, Meryl Streep is here.

It was more like, oh, I have to act.

That was the thing that I was like, it's not really meeting them as a human being.

It was more like, oh, acting in front of Meryl Streep.

So

would anyone like to just kill me instead?

I mean, like, that's so like, what are you talking about?

Like, I was so

cognizant of my

performance and abilities in a way that I'm not normally.

Normally at work, I'm just very like, I'm very fucking good at this.

I know what I'm doing.

I was hired for a reason.

And especially when it's comedy, I'm like, there's no one that could, could tell me anything about a comedic performance that would make me feel anything other than like, either that was constructive or they're crazy.

Like, no one could make me feel like I don't at least have a take.

But acting in front of such legends and Hathaway too, I mean, most of, yeah, it really is crazy.

Now, what is it?

There's been photos from the set in New York and all that.

What does it feel like to be involved in something that people are so excited about?

Well, it's really funny because all the gay publications are going nuts with like Caleb Herron stars in Devil Wears Proud of 2.

And I'm like, we need to walk back the word stars very quickly because I'm not starring in it, baby.

I am long on that call sheet.

But it's really cool and really neat.

And it's so funny that it's another one of those things that

people reach out about a lot, that it's like a bunch of people who

haven't, you know, maybe kept up with what I'm up to or whatever from home or anything that they're like, oh, this is crazy.

And I agree with them.

So it feels really nuts.

Now, I just asked Regina Hall this same question about girls' trip and scary movie sequels.

She gave me absolutely nothing.

So, Caleb, I'm hoping that you can give me a little something.

Is there anything you can tell us about the sequel?

No, there's not.

They won't let me.

I know.

Isn't it sick?

It's really sick, especially for it to hire someone like me where it's like, all I do is I almost, I'm not kidding you.

If you watch close enough, you'll see like 45 seconds ago, I almost revealed something that I straight up cannot say.

And I had to like cut myself off and move on.

No, I will say this.

This is what I've been giving people that I can tell you.

People in my life who have asked.

I am very skeptical of remakes and sequels.

I overall think Hollywood is trending towards a place of unoriginality that is making me quite annoyed.

So I read this script with a sense of skepticism and maybe came in with a bit of a feeling of like this, this is going to have to be extra good to convince me.

And as a fan of the original, it was that good.

It is like worth it.

I understand why they're doing it.

I feel really good about where it picks up and how the story develops.

Aline Broche McKinna, who wrote the first and this one,

really knows what the fuck she's doing.

And I think if you're a fan of the original, you'll be really, really happy with this one.

That's very exciting.

I'll take that.

That feels good.

Good.

I like that.

I'm very much looking forward to it.

I cannot thank you enough for coming on, not gonna lie today.

You can watch Caleb's hilarious stand-up special, Model Comedian, streaming now on HBO and HBO Max.

You are incredible.

Again, I am so, so grateful that you came on today.

And

I'm so looking forward to continuing to watch everything that you do and cheer you on.

And obviously, see you in the Devil Wars Prada 2.

Thanks, dude.

Thank you for having me.

And likewise, it's a real treat.

Thank you very much.

Absolutely.

And Go Birds, but also Go Chiefs.

Yeah, both in many ways.

And let's just mend that.

Let's mend that now.

We're shaking on it.

Thank you.

And that's a wrap on another episode of Not Gonna Lie.

You can find even more clips from my longer conversation with Caleb on my YouTube channel on More Shit Monday.

I'll be back next Thursday with a brand new episode.

Follow Not Gonna Lie on all social media at NGL with Kylie.

Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcast.

Knock Gonna Lie is a wave original brought to you by Peppa Pig.

Let's jump in.

Thanks again for tuning in.