Ep 277: Mo Gilligan

James, huge news from the world of off-menu and indeed the world of the world.

Yes.

Ever heard of the Royal Albert Hall?

I have.

We've done live shows there.

And guess what?

We're doing more live shows there next year.

Sure, a lot of them are sold out already.

But we thought, hey, throw these guys a bone.

Let's put on one final Royal Albert Hall show in that run.

The show will be on Monday, the 16th of March.

It's going to be a tasting menu, a returning guest coming back, receiving the menu of another previous guest.

Those shows have been a lot of fun.

We cannot wait to do them live.

Who will we pull out of our little magic bag?

You'll have to come along on the 16th of March to find out.

If I'm correct in thinking, presale tickets go on pre-sale on the 10th of September.

Pre-sale tickets are 10th of September at 10 a.m.

And then the general sale is 12th of September at 10 a.m.

So if you miss out on the pre-sale, don't forget general sale is only two days later.

The day in between is for reflecting.

Get your tickets from royalalberthall.com Hall.com or offmenupodcast.co.uk.

Talk about refreshing.

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Welcome to the Off-Menu podcast, taking the eggs of conversation, the tin of tomatoes of the internet, the chili pepper of friendship, and baking them all together to make a very rudimentary shakshuka pod shakshuk pod.

It's good that you do the intros for these like that because I don't know how to cook many things.

And I was just thinking then, Ed knows how to cook shakshuka.

That's good.

What I should probably say, and I've been doing these for a long time, is please don't take my intros as strict recipes.

Because I often have to leave out a lot of elements and things you have to do.

Please don't try and make shakshuka with eggs, a tin of tomatoes, and that's it.

Bake it.

And bake it.

Because you should like, I think there's an onion involved.

There's definitely different spices.

That is a gamble.

My name is James Acaster.

Together we own a dream restaurant.

And every single week we invite in a guest and we've asked them for their favorite ever.

Starter, make or dessert, side dish, and drink, not in that order.

And this week, our guest is Mo Gilligan.

Mo Gilligan, a wonderful comedian, of course, an absolute smash hit of a comedian.

Yeah.

Did huge things online, massive sold-out tours and hugely successful TV shows.

And now, finally, the pinnacle of his career, he's in the off-menu dream restaurant.

He's in the dream restaurant.

Mo also has a podcast called Beginning, Middle, and End.

So definitely check that out.

Available wherever you get your pods, of course.

Also, you can go and see Mo on his tour, his extended tour in the moment.

So World Tour.

And it's going all over the place, including Croydon, Coventry, Huddersfield, Leicester, Basinstoke, Ipswich, Hastings, Southampton, Portsmouth, Brighton, Plymouth, Cardiff, Bristol, Nottingham and Glasgow.

Yeah, the guy's going everywhere.

You've got to go and see the show.

It'll be hilarious.

In the moment.

But in the moment that Mo says the secret ingredient, he'll be kicked out of the goddamn restaurant.

Yes, every single week we have a secret ingredient which we deem to be unacceptable.

If the guest says it, they get kicked out of the dream restaurant.

That's the way it is.

And this week, the secret ingredient is...

A couple of cans.

A couple of cans.

Fans of Mo Gilligan will know that that was the title of his first debut stand-up tour.

Yes, from viral videos he did.

Yes.

This is very broad.

I'll be surprised if Mo chooses a couple of cans.

Usually when it's attached to a stand-up's material, they don't really want to revisit it much in their day-to-day life, but who knows?

No, you know, who knows?

But the problem is, a cans of what?

We're not specifying.

Obviously, when Mo did the skit, it was, you know, a bat lager, really.

Yeah, but now...

But if he says, I want a couple of cans of peaches.

Yeah, sorry.

Sorry, you're out.

Yeah, so this is a risky one.

What if he picks one can?

Fine.

Yeah.

It's not a couple, is it?

Three cans?

Well, then we have to have a debate.

Then we have to talk to him about it.

Because to me,

a couple is two.

Yeah.

But then that's within three.

Two is within three.

So we have to see what he thinks about that.

Yeah.

But it's not a couple if you're having three.

I guess you have one can of whatever it is, then you do have a couple left.

So it is a couple eventually.

At some point, it's a couple.

Yeah.

But it depends how he's having them.

If he wants to, if it was, for the sake of argument, peaches, and they all go into one thing,

like a pie, poured it exactly the same time.

Yeah, I'm not going to get him on that.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, a couple of cans of Diet Coke.

Yeah.

After the first two, I'm like, uh-oh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

If it's three cans of Diet Coke.

Yeah.

I'm confused already.

Well, what wonderful energy to welcome Mo into the dream restaurant.

This is the off-menu menu of Mo Gilligan.

Welcome Mo to the dream restaurant.

Yes, big ups, big ups, big ups.

Welcome Mo Gilligan to the dream restaurant.

British been here for some time.

Yes, how are we keeping guys?

We all right?

Yeah, good, thank you.

Good, thank you.

Yeah, I'm keeping well.

It's rare that people ask us how we're keeping at the side of the street.

I say that a lot.

I say it a lot, it's my thing.

But like, Brits get it.

But whenever I go to the States, they don't get it.

It's like, what do you mean?

What am I keeping?

I don't understand.

I'm like, I had to explain to someone.

I was like, no, how are you keeping?

How are you?

You all right.

I was like, yeah, I'm fine.

What am I keeping?

I don't make my dignity.

I'm like, oh, fuck.

It's like you're trying to find out people's secrets.

Yeah, man.

But no, it's nice to, because we never really gigged together, really.

No, no.

Do you know what I mean?

I feel like I know you a lot, but I don't know, but we never gigged together.

So it's nice to be here

amongst this whole podcast space and stuff.

Do you know what I'm saying?

I think we've maybe done one gig together, but it was like the

live at the comedy store.

No, no, no.

I was saying we never stored it.

It wasn't a gig.

It was a TV show and we were on different episodes.

Oh, shit.

Yeah.

Live Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I don't think, I think we might have done that.

That was just a while ago, though.

Yeah, it was a long time ago, and I don't think we've even made a video.

But TV had like unlimited money.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're going to make a comedy show in the store.

Why?

Because we can.

Because we can.

We can get people on it who haven't done much TV before.

Yeah, man.

And, you know, I didn't have a good gig, but, you know, it was lovely to see you across the room.

Yes, yeah, yeah, because I feel like the TV gigs, because they're not...

It's like doing a,

like, you know, if you do it like Live of the Apollo, like you are doing comedy, but you're also realizing that it's more for tv yeah so there isn't that kind of green room vibe or do you know what i mean like how did you get on because you're like well like i'm in another part and do you know what i mean doesn't have the same the same vibe to it it's always weird being on stage doing those as well yeah

trying to have a good gig but in your head going but how's that gonna look yeah on tv sometimes it's quite good you you change you change it up and uh do stuff that you go no no this this is this is funny i'm gonna do the do it like this deliver it like this or add this little bit and it'll be funny when they watch it at home yeah i'll die in the room do you ever do tv gigs yeah and like they edit it and a part where you're like yeah that laugh didn't get that much

as much as it's saying on the television or you know it's a bit where like they fully cut it and you're like yeah they've really cut that bit i had it it doesn't go like that yeah do you know what i mean yeah man i've done those gigs though in my head going like well that's not got the laugh it normally gets but i'm gonna leave a i'm gonna leave a pause and then hopefully they know to maybe pop maybe pop something else in Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pop an applause in, why not?

It's that story about Todd Barry.

You know, the American comedian, Todd Barry came over and he did that live at the comedy store.

Yeah.

And apparently, similar thing went really bad.

They just weren't laughing.

So he said to them, look, end of the day, they're going to edit and laugh.

This is going to look great.

So then he started after every joke.

to silence celebrating the joke and like putting his hand in the air like telling me stop stop applauding and just doing that for ages after every single one.

Yeah, that's cool, man.

That's cool.

But you will have no such problems on your tour, which has already started and is continuing.

People can get along to it in the moment.

World tour as well.

How's it been going?

Are you looking forward to these dates you've got coming up?

Yeah, it's good, man.

We started off in the States.

I guess you don't know what it's like when you gig like...

like that's not like your home country it's always like are they gonna get it like or are people even gonna come that's always what i'm like i'm like are people gonna come so starting off in in the states was good it was it was a lot different than what i expected i felt like in america they like the kind of obvious joke do you know what i mean they like the kind of obvious humor and then when we took it to um australia recently that just felt like being in the uk but they felt like they liked it even more like i was doing stuff where i was like this don't get a big a big laugh here do you know what i mean you know like as comics we know like this is the bit where i can kind of it's just a little filler or this is like my beginning bit as i start to warm up but every bit bit was hitting and i was like oh man i i just want to do comedy here for as long as possible do you know what i mean but yeah man it was good really enjoying it and you've got a podcast yes as well i'm in the podcast world man beginning middle and end yeah i started the podcast because people ask me about like my journey just like what was your journey how did you start so i wanted to get people on and just ask them the same question so we have the beginning you know how did you start and sometimes it's like the origin story that sometimes we might know but there might be uh a one before that a little bit and then there's where they are now which is their middle and their middle is sometimes where they're currently at now they're present and then the end is always like an open-ended question so you know someone asked me once on stage you know that when i would do like um work in progress shows and stuff right i i don't i felt really weird how i would end a work in progress show because i was just you know you're trying like an hour's worth of new stuff some of it hits some of it doesn't but i would find it really weird getting off stage because i do i want to do more but i know like it's kind of done and I find it so weird.

I don't know what it is.

Maybe it's some weird complex.

So I do these Q ⁇ As.

So I'm like, guys, you want to ask me something?

Go and ask me whatever question you wanted.

Sometimes you get some nice little material out of it and stuff.

And then someone said, I've got a question.

I was like, what's your question?

This girl said, what do you want your legacy to be?

And I was like, that's a big question.

Fuck, I don't know, man.

Mike Gandhi, who asks this, who asks that?

Like, so.

That's where the idea of the end came.

So we asked people that end question.

And it's nice because everyone we've had on the pod, they all go a bit like,

I don't know, man.

Like, especially like if you're in this field and you might have children and you're like, oh, do you want your children to do it?

And some people are like, definitely not.

Yeah, I want my kids to do this.

Or if they did.

letting them know is going to be a lot harder.

So yeah, man, I'm trying to get my Stephen Bartlett on.

I'm not going to lie, guys.

Do you know what I mean?

Mine is the crying.

Do you know what I mean?

Big up Stephen.

He's a lovely guy.

He's very good at football, actually.

But yeah, it's not like one of those deep podcasts.

He loves Hue, that guy.

Oh, yeah.

Hue's bad though, you know?

It's really nice, you know?

It's It's actually really good, you know.

I had they've got this caramel banana one.

Oh, it's so good, man.

But, like, when I drink it, I feel like one of those people, you know, like those SAS soldiers, and they eat like

the rice, you know,

yeah, and you're like, this shouldn't fill me up because it comes in a packet.

Yeah, but that's what Hue's like.

I swear to you.

Listen, Hue, if you're listening, I'll take five boxes, bro.

Oh, you really want to be Stephen Bartlett?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'll be like, oh, you know, when I'm touring, I'm really stressed.

I'll just grab a caramel banana cue.

yeah so it's sometimes it goes deep sometimes it's really funny we let it go wherever the conversation wants to go but um it's fine it's nice because i seem to want to answer these questions whenever i was doing tv but you know what it's like with tv and like we've got to kind of hurry along and stuff so it was nice to do this in like a podcast format and sit down and it's yes yeah man but it's quite fun different space for me man you know look I don't think we really know much about your food habits if you're much of a foodie.

Oh, I'm a massive foodie man.

I love food man yeah yeah yeah yeah to the point where like now i've lost a bit of weight and everyone's like bro what's going on you lost weight i was like bro i was eating bro i was just eating all the time um but yeah i'm a big foodie man i like my food i i would say for a palate i pretty much eat anything you can buy like in an actual supermarket a proper one i probably eat it like any of those weird things you know how people eat like crickets and stuff like that and like funky stuff i'm i'm out you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm out but i do like to try a thing first you know what i mean like I remember trying steak tartare once, but I do this thing where I pretend like I know what I'm eating.

So the first time I had oysters,

I remember like sitting down and, you know, like everyone's eating oysters and they're putting the stuff and it's like, do you have oysters?

And I'm like, yeah.

Do I get a spoon and scoop this out?

What?

And then like, I kind of watch what people do, but I pretend like I know what I'm doing.

But I do like oysters now.

I do like oysters.

Same with steak tartare.

I didn't know what it was.

I was a bit like, what is this?

And then when I had it, I was like, yeah.

But now I think I do that thing where after a a while when you start eating you know like i just get turned off by the look of the food or the texture so i just don't really like steak tartana because when i see it it looks like sick do you know what i mean like it looks like glamorized sick glamorized sick yeah because sometimes i see it and it looks really nice but and also i think of my stomach now yeah i've got one of them stomachs that tell me like bro we don't eat this yeah yeah and then my stomach will let me know because by two hours i'll be on the toilet just beatboxing yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i've got one of of those stomachs, man.

So, yeah, but I am a foodie.

I'm a massive foodie man.

I was saying to Ed earlier that I think I've got one of those stomachs.

So I've got to start listening to it because I don't.

Yeah.

I don't listen to it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Does go well.

You like beatboxing, though, right?

So you like the sound when it goes wrong.

Yeah, anyway.

Great acoustics in my bathroom, actually.

But it lets you know everything's out.

That's what I like about it.

It lets you know it's all out.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, yeah.

It sounds like raw, but it lets you know, like, that all came out in one go, one glass, there's no fucking around.

Unless you get another contraction, and then you're like, oh, we've got one more to go.

Then it lets you know that your stomach is bodies are amazing things.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The older you get, the real, how you know your body, like, like, you know, like, you guys have had this.

You've definitely eaten.

So I had something recently, beginning of the year.

And I was, I think I woke up out of my sleep.

And I was like, oh my baby, don't feel good.

And I knew I was like, we're going to be on the toilet for an hour because me and my body know each other.

You've woke me up sweating out of my sleep oh man i was beatboxing on that toilet bro yeah horrible stuff also

i find that it's like you can even pinpoint what the thing even if you've eaten a whole bunch of stuff

and then later on you just know it was that instinctively yes yeah yeah yeah yeah 100 i believe that too if you looked at all of the foods you'd eaten in 24 hours in a lineup like a police lineup yeah you just know you can pick out the one that it was straight sometimes the food can look a little bit off or have a little bit of an off taste yeah so you're like it was probably the palm of hand that says like it's the Jew by, you know, like when it says like it goes off in three months.

Yeah.

But you're like, I shouldn't have really ate that.

I shouldn't have really followed that.

Yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

It's that deojan.

I know it lasts 24 hours, but I still need to like wash it off and put the next

one off.

Do you know what I mean?

It's a lie.

That 24-hour deojan is a fucking lie.

Some of them are 48-hour protection.

It's like that's too long.

Why are you must really

last 40 hours?

I've got a shower in between.

Yeah.

You're just walking around and it's still doing its job.

That's incredible.

There's someone out there that definitely gets their money's worth, though.

There's someone there that puts it on and they're like, oh,

this set stop for it.

46, Barbara.

I'm getting

46 hours worth.

Yeah, no, that's it.

And then it hits 48.

They go, yeah, I stink now.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Also, we've skimmed over it, but definitely, Ed, putting all the food in the police lineup is like some weird fantasy you've had in the past.

What, putting food in the police lineup and picking the one that go with the shits?

And then kissing it.

But, like,

you love food so much.

There's definitely a thing where you would love to be in a situation where they bring loads of delicious food out, put it in the lineup, and you're like, damn, officer.

Yeah, that's true, actually.

Would I be behind the glass, though, behind in the two-way

two-way movie?

Do you know what a food line-up sounds like?

It sounds like, you know, you ever see those pictures where they tell you as a kid not to eat junk food and they've got all your junk foods on the lineup of not what to eat, like burgers, fries, and you've got the hot dog, but they're like got glasses on and shit like like that yeah yeah

mcdonald's mascots like those yeah yeah i don't remember this they've all got glasses on what the mcdonald's mascots no what so hang on what what are you talking about where all the foods got glasses no i mean like you know when they do lineups they always give them glasses like like to make them look bad you don't realize that no when they give like the that like a like a hot dog yeah they make it look bad so they'll give us some glasses and like a moustache yeah yeah like you can't you can't picture it that way i can't remember that no it's like soonest guy he's a hot dog

don't eat him kids yeah you get silly like, yeah.

He's got glasses.

Don't eat him.

And they've all got glasses in the lineup.

Do you know what I mean?

I know what most.

Yeah, I know, you do.

I wanted to be in the gang.

You don't want to be in the gang, then you end up in the lineup.

Yeah.

We always start with still a sparkling water.

You know what?

I like sparkling water, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah, so I'm going to go with sparkling.

I'm a big fan of sparkling water.

Do you know what it is?

Especially for the meal, it feels like it cleans my palate.

Like, I don't drink it any other time.

Like, I wouldn't go for a run and have some sparkling water, but it feels like when you sit down, it feels fancy.

Do you know what I mean?

Like, I can't lie.

There was an MC once who said like, nah, man, why are you going to drink sparkling water, bruv?

What, like, bubbles in your mouth and that, bruv?

And I can't lie, I felt a bit like I shouldn't drink this.

Like, I felt like I was letting down the black community.

But...

Once I started going to nice restaurants, it felt like the nice drink to have before meals.

It felt like it really refreshed my tastes do you know what i mean i want to go in more on this and see i want to find out someone listening to the pod will know because i i was i was trying to think about this on the way i don't know who said it but it triggered me i can't lie they said it to you no no no no not not to me they just said it in that before a track what do you mean pick up people that drink still water if you're drinking sparkling why you got bubbles in your mouth for and i was like oh

i i definitely don't have any bubbles in my mouth so you felt sort of slightly exposed by that and well yeah because like letting down the black community I think.

Well, do you know what it is, right?

Is that like I hear the way that people talk about sparkling water, especially from the black community, because they're like, nah, bro, why would you drink that?

Like, just get a lemonade, my bro.

Like, I don't understand why you would drink.

It's got no flavours, bruv.

Because, like, we're big on flavors in the black community.

Like, we have very high salt food, very, like, sweet food.

So you're giving us a drink that's carbonated.

That's not lemonade.

There's no vibes.

Like, people don't really drink tonic water in the black community.

It's not the thing.

Like, yeah, we'll have a gin tonic, but to drink tonic water like bareback is wild that is what if my friend said yeah what do you want tonic water it's wild yeah if he said it before a meal i'd be like oh he has a certain thing that he does but yeah once i started going to nice restaurants though i can't lie this only happened probably within the last six years that i was like you know when they come would you like still or sparkling i actually do get both just so i keep the waitress or waiter guessing do you know what i mean do you know what i mean because i love when they come over and they're who is it i i was like the lady will have the still yes i know you didn't think the black guy was going to have the sparkling water

fill it up garcon um yeah so um i do like sparkling water man i find it very refreshing even though it's no no vibes lemonade is the way i'm going to describe sparkling absolutely

fair description also you've got to have get still and sparkling in case an mc walks past you take oh yeah so you can just grab the still water go i was having this i'm not having bubbles in my mouth yeah you know when storms are walking past you what the are you you doing bro he's like what ah smash someone's head with the with the sparkling water not the vibe i get from stormzy that he would go up to someone on the table and go what the are you doing no do you know what yeah stormsy would be okay with the sparkling water do you know what's mad yeah is that if i was in a fancy restaurant and there was a big time mc like skepta or stormsey they would probably say this you know these are the kind of things that black people do we embarrass you for no reason they'd be like walk one bro what you're making money yeah man's drinking sparkling water now and you're like you just got to take it yeah allow me innit i'm just i'm I'm on a date, bro.

If Stormsey came up to you and had a go, you say, What are you doing making money?

You'd be like, Not as much as you, mate.

Yeah, but like, it's a thing.

Like, it's like when black people see you doing something that is not like within the black community, we will let you know.

Like, if you get like, I remember when I got a dog, I got a cockapoo, right?

Yeah, this is not a dog that we get in the black community.

So, you're already laughing, bro.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because you can picture me with a fluffy dog.

So, when my friends see me with a dog, they're like, Rah, my man's got, well, bro, you're doing all right, making money, innit?

This ain't a rock wild, I'm not an XL bully.

man man's got a cockapoo you know bro it's like yeah it's my dog innit so it's the same with like sparkling water like we're gonna find the thing that's like like let's say even if it was like a pair of like you know like footwear everyone's wearing like these on running shoes if i see one of my friends wearing these shoes i'm like all right man's wearing the the running shoes with the holes yeah oh we don't know the name but we're gonna embarrass you this is like a thing yeah yeah yeah yeah we do this in the black community man yeah i don't know if you've been keeping up to date edward

with the um drake and Kendrick beefs, but most of the raps are about you've got a cockapoo.

You're drinking sparkling water.

You train as a knife.

You know, it's pretty harsh.

It's pretty vicious stuff.

You got me up to date with that, actually.

With the Drake and Kendrick beef.

Yeah, well, you were weirdly behind it all.

That's how removed I am from that, that James A.

Caster had to tell me all about the Drake and Kendrick beef, and he's not even online.

You didn't know about the Drake and Kendrick beef?

Not really.

I was aware it was happening.

I didn't know about the

ins and outs.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, okay.

Yeah.

I knew about the pedo lyric.

Yeah, yeah.

But we need to be on top.

Yeah, this is a food podcast.

He needs to know about beef.

Yeah.

Oh, that was sneak, man.

That was good, man.

That one was a sneak, man.

Pretty great.

You punk on my behalf.

No, you had that one.

That was sneaker.

I like that one.

I really like that one.

That was good.

Poplobs or bread.

Poplobs or bread, Mo Gilligan.

Poplums of bread.

I'm saying bread.

I'm saying bread.

I do like a pop-a-dom, but it's got to be bread.

I do like some bread before it comes.

I remember when I started going to like these fancy meetings Yeah, and they have the bread on the table and like people do this thing where they have the bread and they will have the salt like the rock salt and they have like this balsamic vinegar and I started seeing people just break off the bread and you know they do that thing where they talk with the bread and it's like that it's like the bread becomes their personality.

I know you've seen this and they break off a slice and go yeah you know so like what you know I'm really like looking at yeah you know

they're dipping it in the thing and I was like what the fuck is this I've never seen this before you just dip the bread my my guy, in, oh, the olive oil as well.

When they bring the olive oil, and when I started doing it, yeah, it felt good, man.

Like, I felt like I had made it in life.

Did it become part of your personality?

Yeah, it did.

It did.

Yeah, it did.

I was just like, yeah, you know, and I, you know, we might go to asking it.

Yeah, so, yeah, I'm saying bread.

Like, I love, I like it when they have the salted butter as well.

If you ever go to Pizza Express, they have this garlic butter.

So you get these little doughballs and they give you the garlic butter.

Sensational, man.

Really, really good.

But I'm saying, I'm saying bread.

It could be any bread.

Yeah.

I can't lie.

I get a bit panicky when they're like, what piece do you want?

Ah, fuck.

I don't know what to do, bro.

They're like, what piece?

I'm like, fuck, man.

I don't know, man.

I recently discovered like rye bread.

Because I can't lie.

I'm putting all bread in the same category.

I started eating rye.

And then I was like, this is some seedy bread, man.

There's a lot of, this is so much seed.

Because I didn't know what it was.

I just hear the words.

And then I'm like, ah, he was.

And then I started trying it.

And I'm like, ah, this is this is rye bread not a fan of rye bread no um

so you know you're not picking if someone offers you a basket and they say which piece do you want you know you're not picking the rye bread now at least you want the yeah yeah i'm not picking the rye bread yeah don't get me wrong if the rye bread is there by default yeah i would just eat the rye bread but when they're like which one i'm like i i don't know bro i don't know which one you want me to go for um i don't think they they want you to go for a particular one i think they genuinely

no but you know what it is yeah i don't know is it me do you not do this thing where like i try to go sometimes for the bread that's not exposed?

Like the bread that's the hidden bread.

Do you not do that?

No one's touched that.

Yeah, no one's breathed on it.

The elements haven't really gone on that bread.

And that bread might not have thought it was going to get picked the way it did.

Do you know what I mean?

It didn't say coming.

Because all the other breads are like, this is me, bro.

I'm up.

And then I'm like, move along, bro.

We're going for you.

And it's like, fuck, I'm the chosen one.

Yeah.

So I like to get the bread.

And it's also...

It's very sweet, by the way.

Yeah, I always like to get the hidden bread.

Like, even if I go to the bakery, you know that they got like the pan of chocolates all out on display.

I can't get the ones that's been exposed.

I'm like, move along.

I've got to get this one hidden because the elements hasn't touched it.

Are you like that with a cutlery drawer?

No, not with a cutlery drawer.

I'm like that with a cutlery drawer.

Really?

I won't get the top one.

Why not?

People have been pouring at that.

Yeah, that's true.

People are poking at it with their mitts.

Yes, yeah, yeah.

I'm going for, I'm going, I'll get the spoon that's like halfway down the cup.

Is it people?

Yeah.

It's just you and your girlfriend, in the house.

Sometimes I'm visiting friends' houses or whatever.

Oh, and friends' house is all right.

I'm not.

Nothing about eggshouse.

I don't want to, like, whatever.

why are you going to my cutlery drawer if you're in my house i'd do that for you no you might be like help yourself to a fork i'll be like yeah from the fucking bottom no it's no

you know you know you're coming to my house i'm not i'm not letting you go in my drawers you're a bad example

but you know that bread in your house yeah i don't eat the first loaf right because the first loaf we call that bread back yeah but hold it hold of that

Bread back.

No, you don't eat like the heel, the end of the loaf.

Yeah, so the first one, never eat the first one.

Unless you're like, rah, there's no food.

Yeah.

But like bread back and beans is like, that's like when you've got no food and you're like, that last bit of bread.

Yeah.

That's been there from the jump.

And every time I see that bread, I'm like, you better move over, bro.

Getting those middle slices and then it keeps going and you're left with two bread backs.

The last bit and the first bit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So like.

Do you not feel sorry for the bread back though?

Because you're saying with none of the other bread, you want the ones that aren't.

It's not

like that bread is not really the...

That bread knew what his job was.

Do you know what I mean?

When it knew it was getting sliced, it was like,

it's the doorman of the bread.

Do you know what I mean?

In the bread world, it's the doorman.

It's like, fuck that bread, man.

You know what I mean?

I'm here for

the real soft slices.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This tough slice.

I don't want that one.

No, no, no, no.

I met a kid who loves the bread back recently.

Oh, that's weird, man.

10-year-old kid.

The 10-year-old.

Is that his favorite bit of the bread?

No, what's his name?

Ian.

He's got like a...

He's got one of those names in it.

Gary.

Couldn't believe it.

Yeah, that was amazing.

It was his favorite bit.

After it.

Yeah, no question.

It's helpful to have someone like that in the house, though, right?

If you had a kid and they loved the bread back, it'd be like, fantastic.

It's basically like living with a break.

If your child liked bread back, like, buy, like, if it was, you know, if you had a child, I'll eat any bread, cool.

But if it's like, no, no, I want that first slice.

I'll be like, listen, it doesn't work like that in this house.

That's not how we do things.

Yeah,

I don't know, man.

You just have, it's just that, do you know what it is?

It's like.

It's always like the first loaf as well that's going to get the mold as well.

Do you know what I mean?

So it feels like if the air is going to hit the the bread, it's going for the bread back first.

Do you know what I mean?

And then the other slices are going to come, but not just yet.

So, it really is like the bouncer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's blocking.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Of the bread world, like bread back, like, is that you don't need that first.

Like, if I went to someone's house and it was like, Here I have some totes, and I was like, Right, you gave me the fucking back of the bread that you've got.

Like, you're right, yeah, that's nuts, that's that's good, yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you give that to a guest without asking, that's no, I'll tell my friends, I was like, Yeah, I went to, I went to his house, bro, he gave me the back of the bread.

My friends would be shocked, really, the back of the bread, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, don't don't go there no more

your dream starter mate

okay my starter is gonna be sushi yeah lovely listen when i got onto sushi yeah

oh man i felt like i'd made it in life because yes you've got the sushi that you get from tesco's right but that when you go to a restaurant they bring it in ice right and then you start learning how to put it with the chopsticks with the soya sauce then you start learning what sushis are what so like your like your your your i have like yellow tails are my favorite then you've got fatty tuna then you've got the salmon oh man like i went japan and i had sushi and i felt like i've completed life so and then i started knowing my my difference from um like sashimi and then the other one is called i always get it wrong my government always corrects me nigiri nigiri nigiri yeah yeah yeah yeah listen once i started completing sushi i felt so fancy in these restaurants i felt like i was like yeah i've come i'm i'm i've arrived yeah because before i was getting the rolls yeah and the rolls fall at the entry level california rolls yeah it's not real sushi do you know what i mean like when i've discovered it's not real i went to this japanese restaurant in la and it was one of those like you know when you go like they they say on the on the on on the door they said listen we don't do california rolls don't do mackey rolls like we don't do that stuff here so i remember going there and they just had slices of fish So I was like, bro, like, bro, like, where's the rolls?

What?

This is just fish.

Like,

so i started understanding how sushi works now and with this restaurant it's like you can't reserve it online you have to like phone up in advance and i remember just tasting the fish because at first i'm just like this is just fish you're eating um there's a lot of new experiences i'm having the edamame i didn't even know what it was i can't lie at first i started eating the whole thing i was like i was like this ain't nice and then realizing you got you got to pop the seeds out yeah and then i was having these little slices of fish and then i was like okay this is i think i've gone to a real sushi place and then since then every time I go out now, if I go to like a nice restaurant, like I go to Rocka, that's one of my favorites.

Yeah, I open the book.

I'm like, yeah, what's the, what's the chef's selection of the six?

And they're like, it's up to the chef.

I'm like, surprise me.

Yeah, so sushi is definitely one of my stars.

It's always the one thing I like.

I feel like I'm eating clean as well.

I feel like I'm learning about food as well.

Especially when you get like the nigiri, they put it on these little bits of rice.

Oh, man.

When you get to hold that with the with the chopsticks you dip it in the soya sauce and you have a conversation as well You know, there's a time when I was single so I was eating it and I was like okay great fantastic.

What is it?

So you're almost doing the same thing with the sushi as you were with the bread.

Yeah, with the bread.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm like on unlimited, you know, like the the levels I've unlocked for eating are just like I've got the soup, you've got the chopsticks because there's nothing worse than like, you know, if you can't hold the sushi with the chopsticks, you fail, you can't have a knife and fork.

Do you know what I mean?

There's no way you can do that.

but you can't be doing that with a slice of fish but like dipping it in yeah yeah that's that's my that's like my go-to starter whenever i go to a restaurant and that's some of them they bring it in like ice and stuff and i got to have it in japan so i felt like i've got it but i can't lie when i had in japan i went to this really weird it was like a restaurant it was like a bar

and it was in have you ever been to japan yeah

i'm going for the first time oh you're gonna love it man yeah you're gonna love it so like you know like in japan everything closes like 10 11.

It's not like a late night place to eat food.

So I was like, oh, I really want some sushi.

I don't want some.

So we found this one place and it's in like, how can I explain?

It's almost like it's a restaurant at the top of almost like a tower of a building.

Yeah.

So it's a bit like,

how can I explain?

Like imagine going Canary Wolf and the restaurant's right at the top.

But you know, like day to day, there's like work and business going on.

So when you walk in, you're like, I don't think I'm walking into a restaurant.

So it's a separate lift to go up.

And we walked in and there was this guy who walked out drunk, like staggering.

And the staff were like, everyone's in suits.

And it's like, hello, sir.

How you doing?

You're okay.

And I was like, oh, cool.

I was like, this is really formal, considering we was just wearing like jeans and like a puffer jacket on.

We were in there and it's like had these round kind of like sofas and we were sitting on the bar.

We was like, I just want to get some sushi.

And it was, oh, we have a selection.

So if you want to go from selection, because they're like, you have to eat in this particular order to get the best flavors.

So I didn't prepare for this, but it was like, cool.

You know, this is the sushi is but the vibe in there it felt like a murder mystery and we were the guests it was so weird like for it felt like the guy who walked that drunk was the guy who ends up being murdered yeah and the police were going to walk in i was like hey what's going on here everyone because that you had like the weird couple you had like the the band playing and the band were like these two american guys like it was nice in there and like they had like sake and i'm not really big on sake and if i do like it i like it really really sweet yeah so i kept saying to the guys I like it really sweet so he comes back with this this jar looks like a potion jar he pours it he's like taste this one I'm like he goes sweet I go not sweet enough he comes back with another one this bigger one he's like pours out and he goes sweet and I'm like I'm like

it's nice but not as sweet as I really like it like I like it sweet to the point where it tastes like plum wine you know

he comes back again he's like this is our sweetest one so uh he brings it back and I was like

and it weren't sweet but he had brought back like three now.

So I was like, oh yeah, this is

the one.

This is the one.

But yeah, sushi is like, is one of my go-to, go-to starters.

It's a great, it's a great start.

Love, love sushi, man.

Love sushi.

When you get the sashimi with the just the slices of fish, do you never eat the top slice of fish?

The fish back?

The push back.

Do you know what?

I paid so much money for it most of the time.

I can't really be that cheap.

It was only three slices or whatever.

Yeah, but I do.

I'm one of those eaters where I have to work either left or left to right or right to left.

I can't go for the middle one off the

chop.

Interesting.

I'm one of those people where, I know if you guys do this, you eat a sandwich, I still go left, right, middle.

Do you not do that, do you?

I don't know.

Maybe I do.

I have to do that, man.

I never go straight for the middle.

Oh, no, that's weird, man.

That's crazy.

Because Tonala vibes, very tonnella vibes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You can't have butter on the side of your face.

Some people do do that, though.

They go straight for the middle, but that is the best bit, right?

Because it's the most amount of filling.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

If it's cut sideways, yeah, the filling will be right there.

there yeah so i was always naturally if i get a plate of food i will always eat the bits i least want first oh so then i've got the nicest bit left over for the end yes yeah yeah yeah i'm getting better at just you know having a bit of everything yeah yeah same but i used to be like they were fast food so fast food if i got like like i don't know chicken and chips Most of the time, I'm going to eat the chips first and then I'm going to eat the chicken.

Yeah.

Is that because you're saving the chicken?

Kind of, yeah.

I'm kind of saving it.

But only recently I've actually like, have have a bit of chicken have some chips and even when i'm doing it i feel like oh we're evolving here yeah you know what i mean like we're we're we're like we've we've moved on a level yeah you know what i mean yes yeah yeah yeah but i'm not one of those sauces all over the joint no no no no no some sauces i don't mind all over the joint like burger sauce i don't mind the burger sauce all over it or like if i get like kebab meat and chips i like it all over do you know what i mean bit of burger sauce a little bit of ketchup a little bit of mayo all over the joint because then it feels like dirty fries yeah Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I had the worst dirty fries ever recently.

Really?

From where?

I don't even want to name it and shame it.

Okay.

It was a van near a bar.

And you'd get the food from the van and then go and sit in the bar.

Yeah.

They had dirty fries.

I just went for it.

It was horrible.

It was mad.

I was there.

It was mad.

Do you think you got this?

Yeah.

Bacon lard ones, but they were cold.

Ah, and then mainly,

I'd say half a jar of mayo.

Yeah.

and lettuce.

Oh, that's what they'd put on the fries.

Have they called it dirty friends?

They'd called it dirty fries.

Yeah, that is mad because I had some as well.

Someone else bought some.

It was crazy.

Horrible.

Just like...

Did you not go back and say to him, listen, man?

No, because then I went and looked at the menu, and in the small print, like, that's what it is under dirty fries.

Dirty fries in big letters.

You go, yeah, okay, I'll have them.

I'm hungry.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then you go back and look at it.

It says it does say lettuce, mayo, and bacon.

But lettuce is

the opposite of dirty.

Not yet.

Yeah, yeah.

Clean, not big, clean fries.

Yeah, like jalapenos, maybe cheese on there.

Yeah, but like lettuce ain't a dirty fry.

You need them to be all melted and

dirty.

Coagulated.

Do you know what I mean?

Lettuce is like the cleanest food.

It's been a rehab.

Yeah.

Your dream main course.

So my dream main course has got to be my mum's chicken and rice.

We grew up eating this.

So it's curry chicken with rice, with a side of coleslaw.

It's not, it's like

you could blindfold me and give me 50 dishes and i would always spot my mum's one out of it because the taste is so it's like trademarked by my mum the way that she cooks it she slow cooks the chicken and it'll be the meal where my mum would be like yeah this is what we're eating and growing up my mum would make the curry chicken and we'd have that the next day on the monday so whatever you have on the sunday

it's a lot like this in the black household so if you have like a big especially like you know if it's like rice and peas for example your mum mum cooks like uh like curried mutton or i don't know sometimes oxtail for example that means if your mum has spent the whole day cooking this you're probably going to eat this on monday maybe tuesday she's cooked so much that she then puts it in an ice cream container hub a tub um and then she'll freeze it and then you don't know when but when there's not enough food your mum's gonna just reheat this she's gonna defrost it so um yeah there's a lot of people the black community uh probably say the asian community grew up thinking they had ice cream in the freezer and it weren't it was just like whether it was stew that was frozen yeah because so that disappointment is so specific oh yeah like it's it's like it's in our dna do you know what i mean like even now in my own house i have actual ice cream in the tubs and i have to convince myself like Rah, like, is there stew in this?

So I'm getting a bit of PTSD.

You know, it's a bit like how, like, you know, like the biscuit tin always had like, you know, like grandmas have a biscuit tin, but there's never like biscuits in there.

Yeah, sewing stuff, yeah, sewing stuff.

And only recently, I think I was shopping.

I was like, I'm gonna buy these biscuits.

I can't remember what they taste like, and they're really nice, you know,

actually really nice, like these soft, buttery biscuits.

But what are you using the tin for now?

No, it's still got the biscuits in there, yeah, yeah, because I think those biscuits last forever, yeah.

Like, like, I don't think there's a sell-by date on them, yeah, um, you're not gonna be beatboxing because of those biscuits.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, they was them biscuits are made from like 1920s 1920s recipes like of food.

So like a lot of us grow up thinking we've got ice cream and it's always walls ice cream, you know, but that kind of blue tub and then you think, oh, there might be ice cream and it's a click clicky lid.

Yeah, it's it's just stew.

I just have to check the bottom of the ice cream guy because I love ice cream so much.

Yeah.

And my mum would like put stuff in ice cream tubs and freeze them.

So having a like thinking you've got ice cream.

And then just quickly having a look at the bottom of the tub and being like, well,

that's a carrot.

That's a carrot emerging through what I thought was chocolate ice cream.

But it's not, it's clearly a stew of some sort.

I thought, oh, we got a chocolate ice cream on our hands here.

Can I ask you something?

You know when you eat ice cream in the tub, right?

You know if it's actual ice cream.

Do you still eat the ice cream without without frosting stuff on there?

What, if it's been in there for a while and it's got like the freezer burn on it?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you still eat that?

Oh, I'll do that, yeah.

I don't eat that, man.

Do you know?

Because it feels like the mould version of frost.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

So I had to ask, because I didn't know if it was just me.

Because because sometimes, like, if it's on a lollipop, for example, then I would kind of run it down, I put it down the tap to get rid of that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I don't.

I'll eat that.

It's not nice, but you can normally take the top layer off and then wait for it.

Yeah.

I don't know, man.

Because listen, my thing is, yeah, if that frost came off the ice, because that's the frost that builds up on your freezer, yeah.

It doesn't go in there, though.

No, but it's the same frost that builds up on the freezer.

Yeah, okay.

I had to fix stuff.

Yeah.

So would you put that ice in in a drink and drink it no because it's different

would you but yeah yeah i would yeah it was a really hot day yeah definitely i think as a kid i've done it once you know yeah i think i've done it once as a kid i was like there's no ice i was like clean clean until my mum was like you're not actually meant to eat this this is the worst frost to eat yeah chemical chemical ice yes yeah

but yeah my mum's chicken and rice

it gets frozen up yeah like the top drawer gets frozen and i can see the ice it freezes over in there yeah and i want to get in it and I can't open it like sword and stone yeah and then it's like I'm properly like wrestling with it and crying and what I want I want the ice cream so badly and that's now right

yeah it's now yeah I've got that I've got that I've got a freezer and literally all was in all that was in there was frozen like dog food and I just left it for months and months and I tried to open it and now at this moment present time you can't open it and I literally got a knife and I was trying to chisel it off because I thought maybe I'll chisel off a big piece comes off off i can open it i still can't open it so i went to dramatic lengths of burning the knife on the cooker so it got really red and i thought i'm just gonna go

and it's all gonna come but instead it went

i was like okay yeah to put the knife out pretty quick yeah yeah it didn't do nothing it done absolutely nothing i think both of those things are inadvisable for any listeners at home i think oh yeah don't do that taking a knife to the freezer anyway is bad and i've done it before i ended up taking a chunk out my freezer because i was doing that yeah and then heating up an up a knife until it's red

you've done that to him man no I've not you've not done that I've not heating up a knife

we all done that

Ed is mainly doing this warning now to stop himself from doing it when he gets home yeah he's not gonna be speaking

on the barbecue

you heated up a knife until it goes red um not until it goes red but I think I've definitely like heated up a knife or some cutlery in order to try and like you know probably mainly just to scoop with the ice cream cutter.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, heat up a knife, never a spoon.

It's a bit bit mad heating up a spoon you know what i mean because people are like what you're heroin addict you can't yeah you can't be heating up a spoon and yet skeptic walks past and sees you doing that it's an absolutely wrench

i was making my knife

right we did what heroin here 4k

let's talk about this chicken and rice dish though like what makes it so special like um obviously your mum makes it you can tell it apart from anyone else's um what ingredients are we talking so it's like curried chicken so like you really have to cook down the chicken so you'd get this thing called a duchy pot can predominantly get them in You know like for example like growing up in Peckham There's always a lot of like It's not like a it's just a shop that sells everything.

It's hard to explain.

Do you know what I mean?

But you need a duchy pot because then that way you can just slow cook food basically.

You can't grab one of these nice pots in like a nice, I don't know in selfages or something like that, but it's like a nice slow cooked pot.

It's almost like a hot pot, a little bit, but very, very big in the Caribbean community for cooking down food.

And your mum would kind of like, she would, she she would season the chicken um and then she'd just cook it down basically so that means like the chicken almost falls off the bone a little bit then my mum would make this with basmati rice sometimes long grain predominantly basmati though with like a side of coastlaw but like that's like like you just grow up having chicken and rice like at least maybe three times a week yeah as default because don't forget your mum's frozen it yeah but it's like the go-to so your mum would even be like she'll tell you like you know in the day you're gonna have chicken and rice because your mum would say listen, I'm going out.

Can you take the chicken out the freezer for me?

This is a big deal.

If you don't take this chicken out the freezer, there's a big chance your family might not eat.

Yeah.

Like your mum would come back and it'll be like, oh, shit, I never took the chicken out of the freezer.

I love that you're saying like it's the biggest job in the world as well.

Oh, no, growing up in the household, yeah, man.

Like, no, but it's hard to do.

You're like, I've got to remember how to do this.

Yeah, because like you'll be like, you know, like, you're just a child.

So you just, I just want to

play Grandfift Daughter or whatever.

Or, you know, sometimes you have to do chores and you're just like, take the chicken out of the freezer, man.

Do you know what I mean?

Did you ever forget?

Oh, yeah, yeah, many a time, man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, boy.

It's like the worst thing you could do is like leaving the frozen chicken in the freezer.

But yeah, it's like curried chicken.

And it's like a dish that you get at other people's house.

It goes a long way.

It stretches, man, because you've got to remember, like, it's in, it's in one pot, like the chicken.

It's cooked down.

It's like simmered almost.

And then the rice, you know, rice is easy to make.

But again, I remember when I moved out,

my mum came around and made some food and i had a rice cooker you know i was just like you know like it's just me living in this house so i'm make you know making rice really for me i'm not making it for five people in the house oh my mum couldn't believe it man i was like what do you mean you got a rice cooker i was like mum it's easier it's easier my mum was like nah even to this day my mum's like i don't i don't deal with rice cookers so my mom my mum cooks rice from scratch like obviously of course you know you got to wash the rice get the starch out and all that stuff i was like mom the rice cookie is so easy because a rice cooker was like you know two cups of rice two cups of water i was like mum this and it clicks so when it's done it just keeps it on warm my mum was like no no no no no doesn't trust it yeah no my mum does not trust it at all like when i mean at all it's like yeah even now like sometimes it will come over i'm making rice and rice cooking that's right i'll bring my

i'll make a pot when i come and i'll bring it over um she turns up with like a bag full of ice cream tubs yeah so like one time i was like about a year ago i was was really ill and then my mum came round and I was like, mum, don't come around.

She's like, no, no, I'm going to make you some proper food.

She came around with a bag of, a bag of rice.

Like, I mean, like, you can get bags of rice.

Not them little joints you get in like the supermarket.

I'm talking, it's got a handle.

Yeah.

It's got a handle.

So she came over the handle.

She got the duchy pot.

And then that's it.

She just needs to get.

get her chicken.

So I always say like when it comes to food, if I'm like traveling for a long time or I'm going to my mum's a bit, my mum's home cooking is like my favorite out of anywhere do you know what I mean if I had a death row meal it'd probably be my mum's chicken and rice because it's just like but yeah it is just that it's basmati rice as well quite a sad meal for your mum to cook I guess what chicken and rice no on death row oh shit yeah yeah yeah yeah

I'm not sure I'd ask my I'm not sure I'd ask my mum to cook my death row meal she's got enough on

oh fucking my boy's dying

now I've got a fucking cook for

me out the the freezer officer.

Yeah, man.

Yeah, yeah.

But that would be like, you know, people ask you for a meal, that would probably it.

But it's like curried chickens, so it's really cooked down.

Yeah.

And then like with with the, because it's cooked down, it's almost in like a, it's like a stew almost, you know what I mean?

So you get like two pieces of chicken, really cooked down, put the stew on top with the rice.

Bit of coastal.

Coastal just evens it out a little bit because it's not really spicy.

Yeah.

Like it's got a little kick to it, but it's not really spicy.

But like growing up, one of my best friends, he lived across the roads, this kid called Adam.

And, you you know he's a proper he was a proper little lad do you know what i mean sporting minwall and stuff and it was nice because that culturally i have food like from like his mum would cook him like you know pizza and chips like just that was the that was the vibes do you know i mean i'm like bro like we don't get to just eat pizza and chips do you know what i mean so like going over his house i was like this is great eating chicken nuggets chips pizza he had a fizzy drink yeah fizzy drinks were still treats at my house

in his mouth yeah so i was like bro this is this is this is sensational i just got what you said

I'm blessed in G.

So, yeah, like, I go to his house and I'd get like the chicken nuggets and all that stuff.

And then he come to my house and have like chicken and rice.

And he couldn't, he loved it.

Yeah, of course.

Yeah, but, but it was mad because like seeing him re-enjoy my food, it was like, yeah, you're getting real flavors in this food.

You're getting real chicken.

Yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

I don't think he actually ever had like chicken on the bone.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

So like he'd love, he's like, oh, man.

Oh, this is absolutely fantastic.

What's this like?

This is, oh, my God, I loved it.

And every time I see him now, he always reminds me, oh man, I just love going to your mum's, bro.

I've eating all the rice and peas, bro.

Oh, my God.

I thought I was in Jamaica.

He's, yeah.

So it was like nice, like culturally

in a way that I was kind of getting some of his food.

Like sometimes they would cook like British dishes, like toad in the hole and stuff like that.

Do you know what I mean?

He's like, yeah, I've been toad on the hole.

And everyone was excited in his house.

He's like, it's toad on the hole, man.

How big it's toad in the hole.

I'm like, all right, I've never had this before.

And then sometimes he, again, he comes to my house, have other dishes like, you know, oxtail rice and peas and stuff.

So yeah, like I was able to learn about some of the food he would eat.

You know, like, for example, like on a Sunday, my mom is cooking like, like, let's say rice and peas.

And like, rice and peas, my mom cooks the peas.

She has to put the peas, like, you got to soak the peas overnight.

So you got, and they're not even peas, really.

They're like, they're beans, really.

But we call them bees.

Yeah.

I don't know how.

Someone will probably, someone will tell me.

I don't know why.

But they're not peas.

They're beans.

Yeah.

Like kidney beans, basically.

But yeah, rice and peas, you got to soak the peas overnight.

That's what every mum would do.

And then you cook it with the rice.

And then my mum would have the oxtail on the go as well.

This is when like my mum might have like family coming around or just like cool.

But that's what our Sunday dinner would be.

And then his Sunday dinner would be a roast dinner.

My mum would cook a roast dinner, but like going to Adam's house, it was like they would eat at one o'clock, two o'clock afternoon.

Crazy stuff.

I couldn't believe it.

I was like, yo, this is so early on Sunday.

Like, why are you not eating so early?

He's like, yeah, like, we have a roast.

I'd be like, I mean, mean potatoes and that like it's proper nice like i've like try something and i'll and i'll be like you're making this guy sound like he was 60 when he was a kid yeah i love it i love it oh yeah come over mate yeah what are you the cab driver because he's your friend

yeah

yeah ben's an edge try something like that um but yeah man so i learned some of the food from his culture yeah you know yorkshire puddings and stuff like this growing up did they have a roast chicken at his house yeah he had like roast chicken did you eat it yeah i'd eat the roast chicken i like a bit of of roast chicken, yeah, yeah, yeah.

White people made it, yeah, but you know, it is.

It's like we've covered it on this podcast: white people don't wash their chicken, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's been bought up on the pod.

That's that's a bit wild you don't do that still, it's an issue.

I can't lie.

I remember once I was cooking, right, and lockdown, and I made some dish, and I was like, You gotta wash your chicken.

Oh my god, people were having it's really contentious, isn't it?

It is, but it's like we do this, man.

Even I do it.

When I get because, look, you get the chicken, it's come from that, what the abattoir, yeah, yeah, that's where they probably butcher up all the animals.

Is the abattoir, right?

So they package it, they put it in the packaging, you eat at home.

How do you know that that is as clean?

As like, I just want to know, just for my sake.

And when we, when we clean the chicken, you know, you get some lemon, you get some vinegar, so that way I'm like, I know it's clean, you get all the little giblets off because there's a little bits floating around.

You can't just get it from the packet, just put it straight in the oven.

That's wild stuff, man.

I pat, I pat it dry.

You pat dry, yeah.

I mean,

most of them sounds nicer.

do you use coachel

what do you use coachelle i one sheet yeah

bounty um most absolutely laugh is the head off that

it's not

i patted stuff man i pat it dry because i'll do a i'll do dry brine it in the fridge so i'll pat it dry yeah i'll cover it in salt maybe some lemon zest yeah put it in the fridge put it in the fridge and i'll put it

in there

uh hello salt and lemon zest is that it i'm white salt is a seasoning

There must be some other seasonings, though, man.

Sometimes some paprika.

Some smoked paprika.

Yeah, yeah.

You guys love paprika in the white community, man.

You got me.

You got some paprika.

You thought you were on Solid Ground.

You got me.

You thought you were on Solid Ground.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Paprika.

Like you're the king of spikes.

You guys love some paprika, man.

This is the dry brine mode.

This isn't the seasoning yet.

Okay.

Then it goes in.

overnight or for a few hours in the fridge with nothing on it right yeah just so it's like open

the day before yeah you could that's good that's but that's all to get moisture into the chicken.

Yeah, we do that in the back can you do it.

And then I'll pat off as well.

Yeah.

Then and then I'll do more seasoning, olive oil

into the oven.

That tastes nice, though.

That feels like that tastes nice.

That's a juicy taste.

I'm thinking you're just seasoning that and putting it straight in the oven.

Straight in, like, not...

I mean, I have to do that.

The fact that you're letting the enzymes get into the meat.

That's good.

That's good.

But I have also put it straight in the oven before.

That's wild.

That's wild.

I can't lie, though.

Sometimes I bought those ready-made ones from the supermarket.

Yeah, yeah, I bought them.

You can't wash them.

Yeah.

no, but like them ones got the enzymes in them.

It's last minute.

Do you know what I mean?

If I see like those tandoori ones, they look so delicious, man.

I'm not fucking around, yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

Storm is not coming around right now.

Yeah, you know what I mean?

There's no skeptic to judge me.

Yeah, yeah, every time you do something fancy, you hear skeptic's footsteps.

Yeah, oh no.

Just dream side dish.

Oh, yes.

My dream side dish is probably ramen.

Growing up, when we didn't have a lot of money, it's like you make indomy noodles, you know, especially once you get a little bit older.

And I was living with my mum.

It's like, there's nothing to eat.

Cool.

You can't go wrong with some indomy noodles.

Do you know what I mean?

Put them there.

I have a way that I make mine, though.

So I'd put, I'd boil the kettle, I put them in a bowl.

I put them in.

You put your little seasonings, your little sachets and stuff that you put in them.

I put some extras in there as well.

All-purpose seasoning, put some oregano in there, salt, pepper, hot pepper sauce.

And then I put a plate on top of the bowl put it in the microwave for about 60 minutes so yeah like it's just like you know and sometimes you can like chop up some frankfurters in there get some spring onions in there as well there's a lot you can do to make it a nice meal and doesn't cost a lot of money yeah do you know what i mean sometimes as well you can fry it as well if you don't want it to have it with like the kind of the soup the soupy water watery joint and stuff but then when i went to japan oh man like you have these booths so when you go in there you gotta you gotta go to the booth and you pick the one you want.

But like, again, it's in Japanese.

So I was proper tourist.

I've never felt more like a tourist in Japan because I had this thing.

I think it's on Google or something where like it translate the text for you.

Oh, I felt so embarrassed, man.

Like people, the Japanese people were looking at me like, you don't know what he's getting.

I was doing that all the time.

You've done that as well.

I've just been there this year.

Oh, he's in Google Translate all of the time.

Google Lens, right?

Yes.

I think that's the part.

Sometimes it sort of makes sense.

And then sometimes it's like, you'll be looking at a chicken dish and and it'll say like the deep yearning of the bird and you're like

so i was doing all that and then realizing i remember like i'm one of those people where like i tried to always do the thing where i feel like i know what i'm doing i don't always that like to ask i'm like i kind of know what i'm doing

and then again the guy then said to me he's like no what you do you you order here and then we bring the food to you yeah i was like okay cool and then no i think you you got to give the little receipt

it's like a ticket machine yeah you give the receipt to to the chefs making it it's like on a counter right i remember you know i'm sitting out i've had like you know i've had like noodles before but like not like ramen like in japan do you know what i mean and um oh man like i remember me i'm one of those people where my eyes are always bigger than my belly I always like whenever I go out my friends they hate it because one I eat really slow and two I like to try a thing if I'm like oh that sounds nice teriyaki chicken bites I'm just gonna get them I'll get them for the table for the table yeah oh some wings I'll get those, but I'll get them for the table.

And I won't finish it, but I just want to try it because my brain is telling me that, bro, I know you want to try it.

Let's just try it.

I can't stand when I order something and doesn't live up to what I wanted.

If I see something with something that looks delicious, I'm like, I'm pissed.

Like, this dish might be all right, but still, I'm like, I wanted that.

Do you know what I mean?

So I tend to order a lot.

So I think I remember ordering chicken wings.

I think I got guzons, like, not guzons, like the kind of dumplings.

What are they called again?

Gioza.

Yeah.

So I got those.

And then I think I got some ramen.

And I got this bowl of rice that comes with like this pork.

And they put this nice teriyaki sauce.

My God, the amount of food that came.

Japanese people were looking at me like, are you doing a competition?

Because no one gets this much food.

Do you know what I mean?

But the ramen, oh, it was sensational, man.

It was pretty much

all I ate while I was on the trip.

Yeah.

I ate it.

anytime we would go to like you know a ramen place and what i liked about it i like I like eating where, like, I don't eat with my mouth open, but I do like, you know, like with the rum and you

and then like, I like, I like to hear.

The slurp.

Yeah, I like to hear.

That's wild.

That's a wild word.

I don't know why.

Slurp.

Slurp.

But like, I like, you know, like, for example, I, if I'm eating peanuts, yeah.

I would crunch them just so I can hear the satisfaction of the crunch.

Does that make sense?

Yeah.

Yeah, it does.

I've never heard it put like this.

Like, I don't want to hear no one else do it.

Yeah.

But like,

I want to hear it.

If I'm by myself, I like to hear the crunch sometimes.

Or like crisps or popcorn or something.

How are you going to make sure you hear the crunch then?

No, because I'll just leave my mouth open a tad.

So the sound comes out.

You can't hear it when it's in your mouth.

Are you not hearing it in your own head?

No, I can't hear you.

You can hear it.

It's very loud.

It feels like, I don't know what it is.

It's very weird, I know, man.

So I remember just eating this ramen.

I had all this stuff, but the ramen, it was not.

Everyone just seemed like they're enjoying their food.

Do you know what I mean?

I think what I like most about it, about especially eating when I had the rumin, is everyone would eat their food and you get this, I'd get this little bowl of rice with like this teriyaki sauce.

I don't know what it's teriyaki, but had like this bit of pork with it.

That was so nice, man.

Oh, it was so nice, man.

Like, and then everyone would eat their food, probably chill for about five minutes and then cut.

And like, normally I'm so used to like eating my friends.

And then after we eat, we chill.

And you can tell the waiter comes back, oh, guys, anything else?

And we're like, nope, cool.

We're just sitting there chilling.

Okay.

And they come back again.

Hey, guys,

okay.

would you like no we're just we're just chilling here so it was nice to like see a different culture where they they literally eat and then they just go yeah do you know what i mean and the food didn't feel too heavy on my my stomach but oh man ramen like it's become my thing now do you know what i mean if i if i travel now i do try to find like a good ramen place now do you know what i mean it's good to have a food that you know that you want to eat in most places and then yeah you're like where is the best version of this and it's always quite consistent like i don't feel like you know don't get me wrong i feel like the best place i had it was in japan um i think is when we went to uh shinjuku and it might have been shinjuku i'm not too sure but there was like when my when i went to japan i didn't know a lot of the places i was going to you know it's always like oh have you been there and i'm like i don't know i think we went there it just seemed like a strip with a lot of shops yeah yeah and someone's like oh that's where that place is is and and there's this place it might be in shinjuku and it's like literally an alleyway you walk down it and to the left to the right there's this little stalls where you can just get food yeah they had these things with like i don't know if you went there, like food on a stick, like the wings.

It's very big in Japan, yeah.

Yeah, yes, like chicken wings and stuff like that.

Um, but we went there on just like, oh, there's food here, but then realizing it's like, you know, like there's vloggers that actually go there and they're like, if 10 things to go in Japan, it's like one of those places.

We went to the ramen place there.

Oh, sensational, man.

Yeah.

But what was in what's in the ramen then that you like?

Because obviously you can put loads of different things.

Yeah.

So normally it's like there's the egg in there.

Yeah.

I like the egg in there because it creates a little bit of the broth.

Do you know what I mean?

There's also some spring onions in there.

Sometimes they put meat in there.

So I think it's like pork.

Mainly pork is in there.

I got one recently and it was spicy.

And my God, was it hot?

And I had to firm it because I brought my friend.

And I've got this one friend who like he's very particular with his food.

He doesn't like chicken on the bone.

He hasn't tried anything experimental.

He knows what he likes.

So he just got rice.

like a bit of chicken on there and i was like come on man get some ramen he's like no no no no i'm just gonna get what i like and um i got this bowl of ramen he said how spicy do you want it so i thought i'll just get level one yeah it was so hot and i was firm in it man i'm like sweating he's like you're right i'm like yeah fine man i'm fine this is this is great but predominantly it's got like an egg in there i think that's the main ingredient and that's what i kind of like about it is that you don't need a lot but i do like I'm like more noodles than the soup.

Do you know what I mean?

I'm not trying to, because it's weird, because like sometimes you've got to back the soup in the bowl and you've got to sip it, but then I'm thirsty.

So now I'm just like loaded up on the soup juice and I might have a beer as well.

And I'm just loaded up.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So yeah, ramen is like, it's become one of my kind of go-to staples like when I'm traveling now.

So one ramen place we went in Tokyo, there's like, there's sort of pictures on the buttons sometimes and things outside.

But I was trying to use the Google lens and they ended up just picking what I thought looked like the nicest one, hit the button.

Then you have to hit another button for whether you want it spotty.

you tell them how spicy you want it how hard you want the noodles and all of this so they got all this information take it away i sent you a picture of this ramen didn't i yeah yeah it was it arrives i i picked like the last one on the list because i thought that'll be delicious yeah it was but it had the pork it had the egg it had the spring onion had all the the the traditional things on the ramen and it was massive it also had a huge bit of fried chicken yeah uh a prawn tempura oh yeah and something else on there

absolutely gigantic

massive and we'd also ordered fried chicken on the side because you go in there for like a light meal that's like yeah you think it's gonna be little bites and i came out i was like i've never been fuller in my whole life because i'm necking the soup as well yeah huge beard he's loaded up on the soup yeah i've gone super spicy as well we went to have you ever been to like the cocoa curry places like the japanese curry houses there's one in london actually but they're all over tokyo and you order on the ipad and there's so many different ways you can have it and there's like these 20 spice levels oh wow and you can put like sausages in it you can put cheese in it All of this stuff.

Add all this extra stuff.

And I was like, never been there before.

And I was like, I think I'm going to go with 10 spice.

And my wife went, please, please don't do that.

Oh, man.

Please.

How are you with spicy food though?

I'm all right with spicy food.

But I was like, I was thinking, if it's out of 20,

then surely

10 is going to be right.

Yeah.

And then I was like, fine, I'll put it down to, I'll put it down seven.

Yeah.

If you're going to be like that.

Yeah.

And then I ordered it and then went on Reddit and everyone was going, don't have anything more than the three if you've never had that.

Oh, sweat.

And it arrived.

And I hiccup when I eat spicy stuff.

I I had one mouthful, started sweating everywhere and started hiccupping.

She's just taking pictures of me.

Yeah, yeah.

How hot was it?

Was you sweating hot?

Yeah, it was big.

It was big, hot.

And also it was so filling as well.

So we were supposed to be going to do something else that afternoon.

I went, I can't.

I'm going to have to walk home.

Yeah.

So I just have to walk back to the hotel.

It's a big place.

You go to one restaurant and you go someone else and somewhere else.

And it's not just like.

you know some city breaks where you're like we're going to do this thing go for dinner yeah and then go back later and then we'll go for another dinner yeah japan you do about seven activities in one day yeah yeah Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But not that day.

I felt awful.

I don't have a sleep.

You'd done your seven for that day.

The amount of spice you had.

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your dream drink mike oh my dream drink i'm changing my dream my dream drink i love a mojito yeah i started going to a house and they they do a lyache mojito sensational man surely skepta's destroying you

can you can skeptor is not having that sorry lychee mejito

if there's anything worse than having bubbles in your mouth is having lychee and no but lychee lychee i love lychee man i love it i swear and it's like because it's like a seasonal fruit

like i remember when i got like a little bit older and i realized that fruits are seasonal you just think that fruits are growing all year round and we used to go to this place there's a there used to be this um this chinese restaurant in i think it's on the strand it was called mayflower so i used to do stand-up comedy like well still do do stand-up comedy please come to the tour

promote your tour but when i when i first started there was a show called the sunday show and i used to host it and around the corner we go to this place called mayflower this restaurant and there'd be loads of us we was all young we was all like like 20 21 we'll go downstairs they do this egg fried rice i love egg fried rice like i love egg fried rice i get egg fried rice They've done this honey pepper chicken, which I have never got anywhere else.

Like, I go to other like Chinese restaurants.

I'm like, do you do honey pepper chicken?

They're like, what?

What's that?

We've never done that.

We do black pepper chicken, but we don't do honey pepper chicken.

And then we get maybe like sweet and sour chicken, maybe sweet and sour pork.

And then as a dessert, they would do a bowl of light cheese.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Win or win a chicken dinner.

Listen, man.

I love light cheese so much, man.

I think they're so nice.

Like, they're so, so nice, man.

We've never heard anyone speak so.

Well, they're like the pistachio of the fruit world.

Do you know what I mean?

You got to do a lot to get the fruits of your labor.

Do you know what I mean?

It's worth it in the end.

Yeah, but then sometimes, you know, you can open it and not every, you got that little crusty pistachio.

Yeah.

That one where you're like, oh, no, I'm not eating that.

Yeah, yeah.

But you still give it a try.

And it's just dust.

Do you know what I mean?

It's the same with light cheese.

You open it and you're like, oh, this one's a bit...

The seed is a bit, oh, that's a bit bitter.

No, no, no, no, no.

But I do love light cheese.

And then I remember, I went to Sir House once, and this was when I wasn't even a member.

And I seen someone get a light chi mojito, but I was just new to mojitos at this time.

Do you know what I mean?

And I was like, a lychee mojito?

I said, this is,

who came up with this in the board meeting?

Because they need a raise.

Oh, it was so good, man.

And then I started going to other restaurants where they do other flavors of mojito, like passion fruit mojito, strawberry mojito, but nothing compares to the lychee man oh it's so good i love i love it so much no i really do man it's my favorite drink no i can you don't need to tell us again i mean we can tell you love lychee because i'm a big fan of like sweet drinks so when i i love cocktails yeah um one of my favorite drinks is probably a passion fruit martini yeah i love that drink or the porn style martini if you want to call it that yeah that's what they call it i love that drink but the glass is a bit dainty i can't lie you know i remember when i was singing i started going on dates yeah and i'm like oh yeah what are you drinking yeah yeah and i've got this little dainty glass do you know what i mean i was like

yeah this is very refreshing i'm worried that's not putting across the right well it would like girls would say it gave them the ick do you know what i mean so you'd be like forget it one lychee mojito please

i'll bring it in a pint glass yeah

but my my my favorite drink i've changed is a drink called you ever had a drink called sussprella i know the only reason i know about that drink is because of the simpsons right it's in the simpsons yeah i think it's come up on the podcast before.

We got confused about it before.

Grandpa Simpson has it like a saloon.

Really?

Yeah.

Sarsaparella, yeah.

This drink, oh my God.

You can buy it.

You can buy it in like Wolf Road.

You can always buy it in like, you gotta go to the corner shop in like, you know, you gotta go like inner city, South London, man.

Maybe North London, East London, but yeah, it's that those bossman shops we call where it's like they've got like the, you know that where they've got like, oh no, you can get in a supermarket.

yeah but it's in the world you know world foods yeah where they gave every ethnicity this aisle

like you're Asian well you only get that or you're African you only get so it's in the world food bits yeah but I think we promote it the boss man shops let's just say you can get it from the boss the boss man shops normally have it you know if you go pecker maybe brixton halsden hackney they definitely might have some sarsaparella so sarsparella i don't know if i'm if this is right but i i think it is a type of plant i'm not too sure it might be a type of plant but this drink, yeah, is like you can have it warm.

So it's probably warm, is like probably the equivalent of having like a warm, you know, like a warm vinto,

yeah.

It's that on those levels, do you know what I mean?

It's the them, a warm vinto and a warm sarsaparella are like neck and neck.

Do you know what I mean?

That's the messiano Ronaldo of the warm dilute drink world.

Do you know what I mean?

I'll surely tease him with a shout.

Yeah, tea, but like, you know, like, like dilute drinks shouldn't be warm.

Yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

But for a dilute, warm drink.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's the messy at Ronaldo.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

But cold.

Oh, it's so nice.

Cold, man.

When you make it, it's best to make it in a jug.

So with a jug, a lot of, maybe a bit of ice, but you don't want to water it down too much.

And when you, when I mean, you want to put at least half the bottle in.

So it's like a squash sort of, it's like a concentrate and then you top it up.

And you put it in with water.

Leave it in the fridge.

Maybe put some lemon in there as well.

Oh, my God.

Can you hear my stump?

You really heard that.

Yeah, that was huge.

See, even my stomach was like hey i want some too um but as it is so nice it's like a really refreshing drink and especially if you have it with like a chicken and rice on a sunday yeah that is like

do you know what i mean yeah that's one of my favorite drinks so it's going to pair nicely with the stream meal because you're having you're having the chicken and the rice yeah but as a refreshing drink for me it's up there but we make it really sweet yeah like you know how like americans make kool-aid and they make it really sweet with loads of sugar it's the same with sarsaparella but you don't really add sugar you can if you want yeah but you mainly make it really sweet so you put at least a quarter or half of the dilute juice in this jug yeah with water with some ice oh man sarsaparella is is it's one of the best drinks man especially like if you've had like a hot like you like hot food right yeah yeah it's the nicest thing to like give you that refreshing taste yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i've never had it i've got to try it i think that their factory is based well i remember i've read the the back of the book i think it's based in wolf road Yeah, but Sarsaparella, top-tier drink, man.

Yeah, there's some drinks in the black community that we really live by.

Yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

Magnum is one.

You had a Magnum?

No?

No.

You didn't have Magnum?

No.

Oh, shit.

I should have bought some.

Oh, man.

You've never had to drink Magnum, the tonic wine?

No.

Oh, shit.

Let's see.

That's probably

too early.

So there's a drink called Magnum.

It's like a tonic wine.

Right.

Now, people say with this tonic wine drink, yeah, is that it keeps you, keeps you hard.

Right.

Yeah.

Okay.

I think that's a placebo, personally.

It's too early for that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

That's why I said it's too early.

Do you know what I mean?

You can't be.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've got to get home.

But like...

Call me a prude, but I go home to have my bonus.

But Magnum is like, it's weird because it's kind of got a lot more mainstream now.

Do you know what I mean?

It's not more mainstream than Magnum.

Like,

I seen some kid on social media who was mixing his Magnum with like a a McFlurry.

Do you know what I mean?

I'm like, you don't do that, man.

You're wasting good alcohol there.

Well, the McFlurry, you know, cools stuff down.

Yeah, it's not.

You're just,

man.

You can have the Magna Man and you can not get a rouse.

What, are you saying ice cream stops you getting...

I think that kid's been clever, balancing it out.

Or are you saying...

That you would eat the Magna McFlurry, get a boner, and then shove your dick in the ice cream to make it go down.

No.

No, I can't.

I can try to work out what you're saying.

And look, even though I am the kind of guy who would shove his dick in some ice cream, that's not what I'm saying.

You're saying that the ice cream counteracts the effect.

Dilute of the magnum.

Dilute the effect of the magnum, yeah.

Sorry.

Are you saying ice cream gives you a bone?

That would be a double whammy for you.

Yeah, yeah, for me, that'd be

off into space.

Yeah.

Well, there's only one way to find that.

Yeah, magnum is...

It's weird because it's like,

obviously it's alcohol and it gives you a nice little wave, but it's like a sweet tonic wine.

Do you know what I mean?

So it gives you a nice bit of wave.

You know, you can drink, like, if you're out, drink like one or two, maybe three sometimes.

So it gives you a nice little wave.

Ray and nephew, you had Ray and Nephew?

No.

Pardon me?

Ray and nephew?

No.

You never had Ray and Nephew.

Are you proud?

The rum, the white rum.

Are you pranking us now?

No.

I swear.

I wouldn't blame you if you were.

I wouldn't blame you if you'd realized

you can make up names and see if we've had them and see if we eventually agree to.

We'll go, yeah, yeah, we've had that.

I've drank Big Straw Hat.

Yeah, yeah.

I drink it all the time.

Ray and Nephew's like like a white rum no it's so strong yeah i'm gonna get you a little bowl i'm gonna send you a lot of bowl thank you man yeah i think percentage wise it i think it's like 60

some of those rums man yeah but it's like it's a jamaican rum i can't believe you don't have ray and nephew ray and nephew some sometimes actually i saw this is real because i i saw a poster for it outside my gym i was on the bicycle this is where mo goes i made that up yeah i was on the bicycle and i saw it and they were promoting it but also with a

have they got like a new cocktail out at the minute or a new thing out at the minute there was like a cocktail that they were

ting there's a drink called ting like a grapefruit I know ting but I don't think it's it was it was their own rum cocktail that they were kind of advertising on the poster yeah I remember thinking oh I've heard of like companies being called something and sun but not and yeah so that's why it's stuck in my head

but like so this is this is true real stuff you've got to be careful with this drink though man it's strong like when I mean like you have to have probably you know like you'd have like what what's considered a shot you probably have to have half a shot because it gets going quick yeah and it's a creeper and i promise you whenever people drink this drink for the first time this is fine nothing

people will start doing wild once they get drunk off this drink

like one time we went to um

we went to vegas right Me and the guys, we had this guy who was a driver, right?

So we was like, oh, let's go to like, let's go and get some drinks before.

So we're like, yeah, man, I'll take you out to Lickstar.

So we go to Lickstore and they've got all the drinks there.

So me and the guys, we're all from London.

We're like, oh, Rod, I got Rare Nephew.

We're like, we've got to get Rare Nephew.

And then we was like, what do you drink?

He's like, nah, man, I'm drinking number bourbon.

I drink bourbon.

So we're like, listen, try this rare nephew.

Yeah.

He's like, so we get the rare nephew.

This guy's drinking it.

Like, he's just pouring it out, drinking it.

We're like, bro, slow down.

You don't drink this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

And I was like, you don't drink this drink.

It's not that kind of rum.

Like, maybe Captain Morgan, yeah.

But I'm telling you, I promise you, this drink is a creeper.

And it gives you a disgusting hangover if you drink it quick.

Anyway, he starts drinking it.

He starts drinking it.

It's fine.

We're in Vegas.

And like, we're having the time of our lives.

Yeah.

I swear to you, I was having the best time of my life, man.

Me and all, I'm there with like my best friends.

Yeah.

Babatone there.

Huh?

Baba Toneda.

No, Baba Tunde weren't there.

Babatunde weren't there.

He wasn't there, unfortunately.

Yeah, Babatunde's not really...

We would have liked to have Babatunde.

He's not really a party boy like that.

He likes to drink, though.

Oh, yeah, you merc a dragon stout, man.

So we're in Vegas.

And then we look at Stan.

Stan's in the pool, right?

Laying out like this.

And it was so hot in Vegas.

This is Vegas in July.

It was so hot.

It's like, you know, when you open an oven door and there's that heat?

Yeah, yeah.

That's what we were surrounded by.

It was so hot.

And he just look at this, this driver.

He's like, We're like, Stan, you're right.

He's like,

what's happening there?

We're in a nephew.

Bro, we told you.

Next morning, he wakes up again with like a disgusting hangover.

And we're just like, bro, you know, that's Ray and nephew.

Like, that's what it does to you.

He's like, nah, man, I don't believe that.

I said, bro, you were...

How is he still not believing it?

Yeah, he never believed that.

I said, we said to him, we was like, bro, you was in the pool out of it.

You was out of it.

He's like, nah, man, I'm always out of it.

I said, bro, you was in the jacuzzi with no bottoms on, bro.

That's Ray and nephew.

That is it.

That's what it does to you.

He's like, oh, really?

I had no bottoms on.

I said, yeah, bro, you took the bottoms off bro this is disgusting yeah we always talk about bubbles in your mouth bubbles up your ass

storms but yeah man storms

yeah you you guys need to try the rant nephew you're yeah that's but like pace yourself yeah make sure you've got nothing to do the next day

now i think of it everyone on that rain nephew poster was laughing their heads off oh yeah yeah yeah it's good times yeah yeah yeah carnival like you got nothing hill carnival yeah everyone's drinking a bit of rain nephew or magnum yeah man yeah good vibes i've got a bottle of of jack iron at home what's that rum is it what's a caribbean i mean it looks horrible it looks so strong you know there's a caribbean rum that is like 80 proof yeah yeah and when we're doing the big nasty show like you can only get it from jamaica it's called uh jancro batty yeah

and it's like you know like you make You make the rum and then you've got the afters, which is meant to be the waste.

Right.

But people drink this in Jamaica, yeah.

And apparently it's like so strong.

And I remember everyone was trying trying to source it and it was so funny seeing all these people like in tv and it's like um uh big nasty um where can we find um some of the um what's the name jan crow's batty

we arrive at your dream dessert yes my dream

you like stuff sweets we've heard that from you

um it's gotta be um apple crumble and custard 90 crumble though wow i need night i need the i need 90 90% crumble 10% apple this is huge yes yes

we've never had look apple crumbles come up at a favourite it's a classic dessert yes yeah

but no one's ever requested 90% oh it's got me not I need all the crumble bro I can't because you know what it is yeah isn't shouldn't that be called crumble apple then maybe yeah yeah we should petition for that yeah yeah man do you want them what's it what's it called the the gov.org yeah

yeah man yeah let's do that man if it gets 100 signatures it has to go to park 100 man give mr kiblin something to do, bro.

What the fuck has he been doing, man?

All this time, bro.

Making them little

finger joints.

He ain't even been getting his nephew in all stuff.

Kipling and nephew.

Kipling and nephew.

Yeah, man.

Get a nephew in.

Apple crumble and custard, 90% crumble.

Especially with a custard.

I don't mind it with ice cream, but I do like it with custard.

One of my favorites, though, is from a place called Bagel King.

Again, it's in Warfroad.

Bagel King is open 24-7.

You can go there four in the morning, they're open, and you can get cake and custard at this time they make it for you hot you can also get you remember like school cake cake you had in school that with icing with the sprinkles yeah you can get that with custard get chocolate cake and custard so a lot of times predominantly mainly in my early 20s when i'd go out with my friends it would always end so a lot of the the clubs we would go to would always mainly like in central london oxford street some of them was like in east central when they would have like events then after like you'd be like you'd be like oh where you're not going and everyone would go bagel king Yeah, everyone turns up in bagel king so you're like yeah we'll go in bagel king.

Yeah, yeah, so you might see a girl you're right going bagel king catching bagel king It's a bit like how you know that's a smooth move

you know like

You know like when you go out and there's a girl that let's say you've seen yeah and you wanted to approach her but you're like everyone's around but you're like I know she's gonna be there later.

So that would be the vibe.

Do you know what I mean?

You'd be like, you're going Bagel King, yeah.

I'll probably see you in Bagel King.

Why is it better then to talk to her in Bagel King if everyone's going to Bagel King?

Surely everyone's around still.

Yeah, they are, but some not everyone would go Bagel King, but the majority, because it was in South London.

And there's this thing that, like, if you're from South London, like, we go everywhere in it.

So, if the rave you went to was in like Oxford Street or maybe like East Central, like, because they have a lot of like events in that bank on the Saturdays and Sundays, right?

So that you like, you're, you're probably gonna, you're from South.

So you guys are even from South.

You're going to Bagel King.

100%.

If she said maybe she's from Northwest London, chances are she's not because she's going a different direction.

But some girls still would because it was like

everyone's going there.

It's like the after party a little bit.

You turn up outside Bagel King.

I don't know if it's like this now.

I ain't been there in years.

But like, especially like, you know, you go out to a rave, everyone's there.

Everyone's there.

And you got to remember, like, you got the drug dealers there.

And they even go, they even go to the rave.

They're just out.

Do you know what I mean?

They're working late nights.

Yeah, they're outside.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're outside.

And then what you'd get in, like, my go-to order would normally be chicken escalate in cocoa bread.

So, cocoa bread is like this soft, soft bread.

It's a bit like you guys have ever had a hardo bread.

You ever had that?

We've talked about hardo bread on this show before.

It's a little bit like that, but it's like

you can drink Magnum wine and get hardo bread.

Oh, yeah, bruv.

Come on, man.

Yeah, well, that's a good night in, you know.

Trust me, man.

Listen.

This girl arriving at Bagel King, and you'll sat there with a pint of Magnum.

She's like, oh, no.

That's a good night in, man.

Trust me, man.

So I was going to get pregnant, boy.

100%, man.

But, like, you go Bagel King, Chicken Escalope.

Yeah.

You might get Guinness Punch.

You're familiar with Guinness Punch.

You get a Guinness Punch.

And then you'd probably get like a dessert, which would be, I'd always get cake and custard.

So you get cake and custard, apple crumble and custard, and it'd be packed.

It'd be packed in there.

Everyone's in there, but that would be the the go-to place yeah so you know you got the guys outside it's a bit like you know how you got like american films and it's like everyone's all chilling at the diner yeah do you know what i mean like everyone's at the diner it's a little bit like the uk hood equivalent of of that basically in it it's mad i actually don't think i see many people get bagels in there do you know what i mean no real talk like like you'd see someone get a bagel and you'd be like oh right you really get a bagel the fuck yeah do you know what i mean but then there was like a little bit of a beef because there was another place brick lane they have a place and they do the the the salt beef bagel and that was always like you know some of my friends from east loving be like no man it's all about the salt beef bagel and east because they'd always have this rivalry against east and south sometimes it was a beef amongst your friends so it'd be like yeah like go get the salt beef bagel bro it's the best one and then we be from south nah bro bagel king's the best nah go bagel king when you're young you one of your friends is the only driver in the group five you in the car after a rave you kind of go bagel king everyone was there it was like the cool place to hang out yeah as well um but yeah again it does apple crumble and custard with 90%

like crumble.

You get the custard on top and the custard would be hot, hot, hot.

So the custard's hot.

Is the crumble cold or is the crumble hot?

No, no, they heat up.

They heat up for you in a microwave.

So is this what you want for your dream menu?

You want hot crumble, hot custard?

Yeah, yeah.

You can't have cold custard.

I do.

Really?

Yeah.

That's crazy.

Hot crumble, cold

custard, or ice cream, because it's the same as ice cream.

It's not the same, man, because it's more thick.

It's more thick.

Ah, come on.

Cold custard.

Cold custard.

Ice cream is just very cold custard.

Cold custard reminds me of shows like Brainiac when they used to do experiments.

You remember that?

Brainiac?

Yeah.

I remember one time they filled a whole swimming pool with custard and tried to walk on it.

They tried to walk across it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I saw that episode.

Sky one and that.

You know what's going on, man?

Yeah, man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'll watch that when I get home.

Cold custard.

Was it Richard Hammond?

Was it Richard Hammond?

Richard Hammond.

There was another guy on there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Huh?

John Tickle.

John Tickle.

John Tickle was on there as well.

And he was straight to the point.

There was no vibes.

There was no laughter, nothing.

He said, we're walking on custard and action.

Yeah, man.

Great programme.

Yeah.

It's the first time I've thought about Brainiac in about 15 years.

Yeah, man.

Absolutely delighted.

That was a really good program, man.

Really, really good, man.

But that's what Custard reminds you of.

Yes, yeah.

Like, cold custard, though.

Yeah, yeah.

Because they tried to fill up the pool.

John Tickle tried to walk on that.

But I do like custard.

I like the...

What's the brand one?

What's the really expensive brand?

Is it Ambrosia?

Ambrosia.

They got

as well, right?

Yeah, yeah, Ambrosia.

Ambrosia rice pudding as well.

Oh, rice pudding.

Yeah, I had some rice pudding recently on the weekend, man.

Yeah.

Yeah, I felt like putting on heartbeat, bro.

I was just like, yeah, man.

I don't have rice pudding a lot, but it feels like a real old school dish.

You know what I mean?

Like, I feel like I'm in the Hovis advert.

You remember them old Hovis adverts?

Yeah.

Where the boys just like pushing up the bike up the hill and stuff.

It's all.

And then he gets home.

He's like, the back bread are you shooting me?

The fucking back bread.

I push my my bike up a fucking hill when I get some nice bread and you get me the fucking back bread.

I've been fucking pushing this bike since school.

Yeah, I like that advert.

Yeah,

it was a good advert, that.

Yeah, yeah.

Dude,

I'll read you your menu back now, see how you feel about it, man.

Yeah, let's do it, man.

You want sparkling water?

You would want bread with salted butter.

A starter, you want real sushi, real underlined.

Yeah, ma'am.

Main course, your mum's curried chicken and rice with coleslaw, side dish, ramen from Japan, drink, sarsaparilla, and dessert, apple crumble, 90% crumble with hot custard from Bagel Cane.

Yes, 100%.

Fantastic.

Feel good about it?

Yeah, I think that's a good meal, man.

Like I could have that any day of the week.

I'd be satisfied.

Yeah.

There's a nice bit in there.

There's a bit of bougie stuff in there.

You know what I mean?

You've got a bit of...

you know, I'm cultured, I've been in Japan, you've got a bit of homely stuff in there.

And then there's the stuff that just speaks to my childhood with the

the apple crumble and custard.

It's sort of a you've almost got a whole day in there because you know, you're starting off with a bit of sushi and you're going to your mum's, yeah,

yeah, yeah, going out with the lads, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And obviously, yeah, the lads come, man, it's a bit large.

Who's doing a couple of lines?

Not me, I'm gonna get apple crumble and custard.

Good, there's a lovely anti-drugs message to finish the episode off with.

Thank you so much, Mo.

No, thank you so much, man.

It's been a pleasure, man.

Thanks for having me on.

I appreciate it, man.

Thank you so much to Mo Gilligan.

That was a fantastic episode.

What a pleasure.

I think we got to know Mo like better than we've got to know any other guest.

Yeah, that was a fantastic episode.

And look, you should all go and see Mo on tour in the moment world tour.

But this extension, he's going all over the UK.

You've got to go and see him.

Mogilligan.com for tickets.

And his new podcast, Mo Gilligan, Beginning, Middle, and End.

Go and listen to that as well, wherever you get your podcasts.

And we can promote those because mo did not say a couple of cans the secret ingredient so thank you mo the sarsbarilla was very clearly in a jug in the fridge yes uh we could have pushed him on a couple of things like custard like where's the custard coming from yeah we could have a can how many cans do you want i guess so that would have seemed mean spirited if we tried to back himself would have felt mean spirited he didn't specify yeah himself yeah you know i mean the the peas I guess might come from a can.

Maybe.

Look, this might be an episode that we get picked up on a lot forever.

But like, you know what?

We'd happily get Mo back on to defend himself.

Yep, please.

Come back to make his case.

So, you know, if that's what happens, then we win.

Yep.

Thank you very much for listening to the Off Menu Podcast.

We will see you again next week.

Goodbye.

See you in the next week.

Hello, I'm Carrie Add.

I'm Sarah.

And we are the Weirdos Book Club podcast.

We We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival.

The date is Thursday, 11th of September, the time is 7pm, and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies.

Tickets from kingsplace.co.uk.

Single ladies is coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September.

At the London Podcast Festival.

The rumours are true Saturday, the 13th of September at King's Place.

Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet.