Ep 235: Amelia Dimoldenberg (Live in Manchester)

Hello, it's Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu Podcast.

Hello, it's James A.

Caster here from the Off Menu Podcast.

And before the episode starts, we'd like to talk to you about All Our Relations, a non-profit co-founded by your friend of mine, comedian Jen Brister, and Georgia Takax.

Yes, All Our Relations was originally started to support 15 families in Gaza when the genocide started, but now supports 21 families and funds several mutual aid projects, including two seven-day food kitchens and two mobile food parcel delivery schemes, as well, feeding hundreds of families in Gaza every single day.

They've created an absolutely amazing thing.

And we feel like, you know, it's the off-menu podcast.

We talk about food and we are very lucky to eat wonderful food and have access to absolutely brilliant food all of the time.

And I think we need to talk about people who have access to no food, James.

Absolutely.

So if people would like to donate, please go to allourrelations.co.uk or look at the links in Jen Brister's bio on Instagram.

Every penny raised go to supporting people in Gaza.

Thank you so much and enjoy the episode.

Popsicles, sprinklers, a cool breeze.

Talk about refreshing.

You know what else is refreshing this summer?

A brand new phone with Verizon.

Yep, get a new phone on any plan with Select Phone Trade In MyPlan.

And lock down a low price for three years on any plan with MyPlan.

This is a deal for everyone, whether you're a new or existing customer.

Swing by Verizon today for our best phone deals.

Three-year price guarantee applies to them current base monthly rate only.

Additional terms and conditions apply for all offers.

Raise your hand if you want your nails to look perfect all the time.

Me too.

I'm Sarah Gibson-Tuttle from Olive in June, and this is exactly why we created the Manny system.

We wanted to make it possible for everyone everywhere to give themselves a beautiful manicure at home.

With our tools and our long-lasting polish, each manicure with our manni system comes out to just $2.

That's right, $2.

No more $30, $40, $50 Mannis that you get at a salon and they take hours.

Now you can paint your nails on your time and love them more than ever.

And by the way, when people ask, who did your nails?

Where did you get them done?

You're going to proudly say, I did them myself.

Get 20% off your first Manny system with code perfectmanny20 at olive and june.com slash perfectmanny20.

That's code perfectmanny20 for 20% off at olive and june.com slash perfectmanni20.

Life's messy.

We're talking spills, stains, pets, and kids.

But with Anibay, you never have to stress about messes again.

At washablesofas.com, discover Anibay Sofas, the only fully machine-washable sofas inside and out, starting at just $699.

Made with liquid and stain-resistant fabrics.

That means fewer stains stains and more peace of mind.

Designed for real life, our sofas feature changeable fabric covers, allowing you to refresh your style anytime.

Need flexibility?

Our modular design lets you rearrange your sofa effortlessly.

Perfect for cozy apartments or spacious homes.

Plus, they're earth-friendly and built to last.

That's why over 200,000 happy customers have made the switch.

Upgrade your space today.

Visit washable sofas.com now and bring home a sofa made for life.

That's washable sofas.com.

Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

Hey y'all, it's Saturday, baby, and what does that mean?

Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-bonas!

It's a bonus live episode from the Off-Menu Live Tour 2023, and this was recorded at the O2 Apollo Manchester on the 29th of October.

It's the first night of our Manchester two-night residency.

Yes, we were very cheeky in the first half, so there might be a cheeky little atmosphere between a frizz on between us and the audience, maybe.

Absolutely, and our special guest was the wonderful Amelia de Moldenberg.

Amelia de Moldenberg, of course.

Thank you so much, Amelia, for joining us in Manchester.

Now, for the listeners who weren't there, there will be some callbacks at the first half that might not make sense, but hey,

one of them is a secret ingredient because the secret ingredient is custard skin, as selected by our brilliant Manchester audience.

Yes, thank you to the audience very much.

The extra guest on this podcast, some would say.

Yes, on this episode.

That's a nice way of thinking, but it's a shame you've not said that for all the others we've recorded.

Well, I only feel that way about this night in Manchester.

Here we go.

Amelia de Moldenberg.

Welcome to to the Off Menu Podcast.

Taking the carrot cake of humor.

Putting it on the floor of friendship.

In the bus stop of the internet.

It is the bus stop floor carrot cake of the Off Menu Podcast.

Man,

these intros, when we release these episodes, because no one's going to have heard the first half, they are going to make so little fucking sense.

That is a gamble.

My name is James J.

Casso.

Together we own a a dream restaurant and every single week we invite in the different guests and ask them their favourite ever start and main course dessert, side dish and drink.

Not in that order.

And this week our guest is Amelia DeMoldenburg.

Very, very excited to have Amelia on the podcast.

People are very excited as well James.

We announced her as the guest today and people lost their fucking minds.

You all know the secret ingredients so keep that in mind.

Don't tell Amelia.

Don't tell Amelia.

So, without further ado, this is the off-menu menu of Amelia.

Amelia Gibaldenburg!

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Welcome.

James.

James.

James.

James.

Yep.

Sorry.

Yep.

Sorry.

We need to start the podcast properly, Amelia, you see.

Thank God.

Now, James is obviously a genie in this.

Obviously.

So he's in the lamp now.

Yep.

If you would like to get up and rub the lamp, that's fine.

Otherwise, we can get the audience to do it in their minds.

I will do it.

You will do it?

Do you want to do it in your mind?

You can do it in your mind as well while I do it.

Yeah, why don't we double up?

Absolutely.

Here we go.

Do it with your mind.

Oh, it's working very quickly.

Welcome, Amelia DeMoldenberg, to the the Dream Rest Trop.

We've been expecting you for some time.

Oh,

I'm so happy to be here.

Honestly, I thought I'd be here sooner than I am, but

I mean, I at least like season five or something, that's fine.

I think it's season 11, technically.

Yeah, it is.

No, I honestly thought maybe you didn't like me.

I thought it was weird that I've not been on.

Yeah, no, it is weird.

One of us likes you.

Yeah, but I, yeah, I you don't like me, do you?

No.

No.

Not a fan.

Yeah.

I thought you had thrown that in there to keep Amelia on edge for the whole episode and then you just go yeah, I don't like you Amelia.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Never.

He loves me.

He doesn't like me.

I said over my dead body.

But I'm here.

You're here now.

I like that you've turned up and immediately settled a score about not being on earlier.

Yeah.

Not a lot of guests do that.

I thought there was like a vendetta against me.

No vendetta at all.

You were trying to sabotage me.

No, no way.

Why were were we trying to sabotage me?

I don't know.

Because you do food-based content?

Exactly.

What other podcasts or TV shows do you think have a vendetta against you?

Because they haven't booked you yet.

Table Manners.

Yeah.

Should I just listen to you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's do it.

The news one?

The news?

The news.

The one with Emily Maitlis.

Yeah.

We've been on that one.

The news agents.

The news agents.

Do you think they haven't booked you?

Because you called it the news one?

Yep, the news one.

Desert island discs.

Yeah.

The crime ones.

The true crime.

Oh, yeah.

Well, you're not being on top.

I need to die.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then I could be on that one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So there's, you know, there's still time.

There's still time

to die.

Yeah.

Do you think that when, obviously, eventually all of us have to pass on?

All right, spoiler alert.

When your time comes, will you be thinking to yourself, hopefully they'll do a true crime podcast about this?

Absolutely.

That's the only reason I want to die.

Waste of time, otherwise.

Yeah, absolutely.

No podcast, no point.

Yeah.

So if you die of like old age, just peaceful in your bed.

Boring.

Fucking gutted.

Boring, yeah.

Well, you'd place things around to make it look like there was

foul fire.

Something was going on.

Yeah, just like a huge gun.

But no bullet wounds.

No bullet wounds.

You've got to make it make it interesting.

Yeah.

Because the detective will come and these podcasts are really long these days, aren't they?

They're like over an hour.

It's like episode eight where they go, and there was no bullet wounds on her at all.

No bullet wounds at all.

No.

Turns out she died of old age and left a big gun by the bed.

Yeah.

We found out by listening to a live episode of the Off-Many food gun.

It tipped us off.

Now, this seems like a bit of a redundant question because obviously

you work with food, but are you a foodie?

Uh what because oh well well we always ask people if their foodie but I feel like it's rude when someone does like chicken shop dates and then one saying are you a foodie?

Well it does make sense you know having a dating show in a chicken shop that I would be a really really big foodie because

I can't cook.

I'm not foodie sorry.

Hey, don't say sorry, this is great.

We've had loads of non-foodies on the pot.

Yeah I'm not a foodie.

I eat I've eaten food but

um not foodie.

How often?

Like three times a day.

What about you?

Yeah, three times a day.

Yeah, yeah, cool.

Yeah, yeah,

six, seven.

Oh, whoa.

Crazy.

He is pretty crazy.

Crazy guy.

Yeah, I'm a crazy guy.

I've got a real problem.

When you met Ed, did you think he was crazy?

Yeah.

That guy is crazy.

Cool tattoos.

Thank you very much, Amelia.

Okay.

Would you like me to take you through them?

No.

Okay.

Absolutely.

Fair enough.

Yeah.

If you had to get

an item of food tattooed.

No, I don't want to.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm tattooeless.

But if you had to.

No.

No.

No.

If you, just for the sake of info.

No.

You?

A big tub of ice cream, probably.

Oh, yeah, like a big tub of ice cream.

Where?

On your full body tap

for my

waist

to just throw it just here?

So you wouldn't go see it if I was wearing the top.

Okay, there'd be a surprise.

Wow.

Do you have a girlfriend right now?

I did have going into this podcast.

Yes.

Yeah, I was going to say

she made fun of her accent many times on stage and just suddenly get a full body tap of a tub of ice cream.

Yeah.

What flavour would you get?

I guess I would maybe just want the ice cream tub to say my name on it.

Okay.

In case you forget your name.

You're just James Acaster on the cup of ice cream, yeah.

Tasty.

Yeah.

What are you on a mountain?

Well, I want it to be personalised, you know.

So I think I would like to have it that like it's a big tub of ice cream and there's a spoon in it and stuff.

With a spoon in it.

There's a spoon, like the lid's off.

It's dangerous.

The lid's off, there's a spoon coming out.

Probably ends at my armpit, the spoon coming out of the thing.

And then it's like a Ben and Jerry's, but instead of Ben and Jerry's, and what flavour just says James Acaster.

Nice.

Is that the flavour as as well?

Or does it just say James?

I feel like we're going too far into detail here with this, Amelia.

No, I don't think we are.

I think we should carry on.

Sorry.

Is there a flavour on it, or instead of Ben and Jerry's, does it say James Acaster?

No, it tastes like James.

It tastes like...

Yes,

James has put James Acaster on it so when people lick his body, it's like they're eating an ice cream, that there's a flavour of him.

Yes.

Okay.

James?

Yes.

I've decided to agree with what Amelia says.

We always start with still a sparkling water, Amelia.

Do you have a preference?

I'm going to go with tap.

Because I'm humble and

I don't mind tap.

Here's the thing, though, they cheered that.

Now they cheered that because we're in Manchester.

And the tap water here is very good.

It's so much better.

Yeah.

So much better.

Woo!

It's sweeter.

Yeah.

It's softer.

Yeah.

It's stunning.

I disagree.

Really?

Yeah.

I used to stand.

Really?

Yeah, come on.

I'll fucking take you all on.

Craig's forward.

It's too soft.

The soft north is what I call it.

You can get to London, drink some lime scale, get some fucking grit on your bones.

Craig, Shirley, Anton.

Never had you down as a strictly nerd until like a year ago.

It's good stuff, man.

Not a very strong group of dancers this year.

Do you watch Strictly, Amelia?

Sort of.

Sometimes.

No.

My mum loves it.

Yeah.

Yeah, my mum loves it.

It's the sort of show that mums.

They usually would.

Yeah, they do like it.

I do love to dance, though.

Yeah?

Yeah, I really do.

I love to dance.

What's your, if you have some signature movies?

Yeah, I do.

I like to wiggle around.

You wiggle?

Just a little wiggle.

Oh.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'm pretty good.

You are good.

Yeah,

I'm pretty good.

Just that little bit of your seat that I was like, that's pretty good.

It's pretty good.

Yeah.

Wait until I stand up.

It's cool.

Yeah, I won't.

Any particular songs you'd like to dance to?

Just music.

Oh.

Yeah, just...

You dance to music.

Dance to music, yeah.

Oh, I could do a cappella dancing too.

Yeah, just

silence.

You wiggle in silence.

Yeah, yeah, why not?

Yeah.

Well, because you look crazy.

No.

Not if no one's watching.

Yeah, dance like no one's listening.

No one's watching.

Oh, yeah, like no one's listening.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Sorry.

Back to Tapwater.

Ed, what's it like for you when there's two of us?

It's fun to watch.

It's like watching two kids meeting for the first time.

Like two little children meeting for the first time.

Oh, wow.

It's quite sweet, but also fucking annoying.

Okay.

We've met once before.

You were just there.

You didn't say hello to me, though.

No, you just stood there.

This is what I think.

You don't like me.

Oh, let's hash this out right now.

This is brilliant.

I like that.

I said hello.

Where was this?

Set the scene for us.

We were outside a pub in London.

I met you here as well.

You said hello, yeah.

You said hello to me.

And, um,

and yeah, no, not much to report, really.

There wasn't much said.

So, did you?

Well, it was no, hold on, because they think it was just we were outside a pub in London.

I didn't say hello to you.

It was Ash and B was organising

a charity thing, but it was a Christmas charity thing.

Yes, it was a food drive, wasn't it?

A food drive, and asked a lot of people to show up to it.

And there was a load of actors there, and comedians, and all sorts.

So, there's quite a lot of people, quite crowded, wasn't it?

I was dressed as Santa Claus.

You were just a Santa Claus, and I met you.

Are you scared of Santa?

Well, I will admit to you now, maybe this will put your mind at ease.

Although I'm surprised you didn't put this together, I didn't immediately recognise you, Amelia.

Oh, right!

That makes so much more sense now.

It was suddenly, uh, Passion said, Can you come and do this photo?

I was like, Yep.

So, I turned around, I was quickly rushed into a photo, and then Santa Claus was there.

I did the photo, and then Santa Claus went away.

And then, as you were going away, I was like, oh, that was a million.

Oh, well, she's gone now.

Okay, yeah.

That makes more sense.

Yeah, that makes more sense.

I guess I was wearing like the whole thing and the

sort of beard.

You had a beard, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

And

the glasses and everything.

Yeah.

And by the time I arrived, you weren't dressed as Santa Claus.

No.

Because Nish was dressed as Santa Claus.

And let me tell you, I recognize Nish more than I normally do.

He makes sense as Santa Claus.

Yes, he's calling himself Father Nishmus.

As I left.

Okay, all is forgiven.

Oh, I didn't know.

I didn't know I had to be forgiven.

The tap water.

Sorry, yeah, tap water.

Because obviously, usually you have a tap in London where you live.

Well, yeah, usually.

Do you want it to be London?

That's such a weird way of putting that question.

I'm saying, if you want tap water, do you want it from your tap in London or do you want it from somewhere else?

Because they cheered because they were thinking Manchester tap water is delicious.

Yeah, you know what?

I'm going to get it from Manchester.

Woo!

My grandparents from Manchester, actually, my whole family's from Manchester, where they're from Berry.

Woo!

And I used to stand in the shower in my grandma's house and just drink the water.

Just mouth open, like, woo!

So, it tastes so good.

So.

So, do you want the water for your dream menu from your grandparents' shower?

Yes.

Please, give it all to me.

Yeah, so we can set up a nozzle in the...

No, I want the exact one from my grandparents' house.

Yeah, yeah.

So we'll get your grandparents' nozzle.

Yeah.

Yep.

And we'll have that over the table.

And anytime you want, you can just...

Yeah.

Drink it.

Council it.

Pop-lumps or bread!

Pop loves your bread in Minnie to Moldenburg.

Pop loves your bread.

Oh!

So, um,

reds.

Just because I shouted at you then doesn't mean I don't like you.

I don't want to undo the duck.

Can I specifically have

a bagel?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's a good question.

This relates to something that happened in the first half.

Is it a smooth bagel?

Oh.

A smooth, what are the rough bagel?

Well, this was my issue with the description, Amelia.

I've never heard it called a smooth bagel before.

A smooth?

I think they meant a plain bagel.

Oh, okay.

You know, like those everything bagels?

Oh, yes.

No, not that.

Oh, no.

No.

Yeah, smooth bagel.

You want nothing on it?

Oh, butter?

What?

No?

Oh, yeah, yeah, it's like some of our sesame seeds on the top, popper seeds on the top.

You want smooth, light?

I want smooth.

Smooth bagel.

I want a smooth bagel, yeah.

It doesn't, it's perfect as it is.

It doesn't need anything added to it.

Lovely.

No seeds.

Toasted, yes, absolutely.

On the third setting.

Best settings.

Yes.

Now, with the settings on toasters, it's not...

Did you know?

Go on.

Here we go.

Do tell.

It's not some level of toastedness.

It's not some mythical brown level.

It's just the amount of minutes that it's in there for.

No.

Yeah.

Oh my god, thank you so much for telling me that.

I had no idea.

A lot of people don't, Amelia.

Thank God you explained that.

Sorry, man's plain.

Sorry, explained.

Look, I've said it before.

What am I supposed to do?

I'm a man.

If I need to explain something, suddenly that's man explaining.

But sometimes people just need to be told things.

I'm happy to sit this one out.

So if you can carry on.

So three minutes toasted for three minutes.

Yes.

Actually, maybe not butter, maybe like, maybe it's is my, is it margarine?

I don't know what I have in the thing.

Do you want to explain to Amelia what she has?

So when you're making the bagel and you're putting stuff on it.

It's in a thing you have to take the lid off.

You take the lid off?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Is that margarine?

I don't know.

Okay.

Is it...

It sounds like it's pops...

It's a silver one.

It might be Lerpak though.

Lerpak.

Which is spreadable butter.

Okay, cool.

Yeah.

Do you mean the one with the little trombone player?

Dunno.

What?

There's a trombone.

He's only on the advert.

I don't think he's on the packet yet.

Oh, okay.

He's called Leonard.

Yeah.

What?

Lovely?

Leonard?

I think I've got that right.

It's called Leonard, right?

The tromboner.

Have you seen it?

Have you not seen the advert?

There's a little butter trombone player that comes in.

From the butter.

From the butter.

Inside the butter.

He's living in the butter.

Yeah, and he's made of butter.

He's made of butter.

Whoa, he's got a turf job.

He's got what?

Tough job.

A tough job.

I thought you said it.

Yeah.

I thought you said he had a turf job, and I was like, didn't know.

Lurpack had nailed their colours to the mast in that debate.

Lovely.

Lerpak.

Not a cream cheese.

No, I do like a cream cheese, but it's a bit much, like.

It's a bit much for the dream restaurant right now.

I'll tell you what puts me off cream cheese when you just get cream cheese on it in bagel places is they call it a schmear.

Have you seen that?

S-H-M-E-A-R.

No.

Pretty gross, right?

Shmear.

It doesn't sound nice.

No.

Shmear.

Shmear.

Smear.

Smear?

Shmear.

Shmear.

Smear.

Sorry.

Smear.

What?

What are you looking at?

What?

I just want to see how long you can say smear.

Well, this will be a joke.

Shmear.

Don't love it is a word.

So I go carry on.

No, because what we worked out is the longer we look at you, the more times you will say schmear.

I couldn't think of anything else to say.

Yes.

Shmear.

Shmear.

What do you think about this?

What?

I was in Leeds.

Oh, okay.

One bloke.

Probably the same guy who was defending the Vimto statue.

I was in Leeds, and I went to a place called the Dough Hut.

Woo!

And I got a doughnut bagel.

It was basically like a doughnut, but filled with cream cheese and chives and covered in the kind of stuff you would maybe put on an everything bagel and some sugar on there, like doughnut sugar.

It's one of the nicest things I've ever had.

It was absolutely delicious.

I had it twice in four days.

Wow.

What do you think about that?

Would you have it?

No.

I don't think, no.

I don't know.

It was sweet.

And savory.

There's a little bit of sweetness in there, but it's mainly, it's one of those savoury and sweet things.

Wow.

But mainly savoury, I'd say.

Bagel, it's a sweet bagel.

They called it a daigle, which I didn't like the name as much as I liked that.

It's not as good as

schmear.

Daigle with a schmear.

No, stop.

I love bagels.

I have bagel every morning for breakfast.

Do you?

Yep.

And porridge.

Wow.

Yeah.

My friend was like, oh my god, I can't believe you have two breakfasts.

And I was like, what do you mean two breakfasts?

She's like, yeah, a bagel and porridge is two breakfasts.

I just think it's one breakfast.

It's just my breakfast.

Oh, I see what you mean.

Yeah.

Because you're having it for breakfast.

It's one.

That's your breakfast.

Yeah.

She was like, I can't believe you have two breakfasts.

I think it's one breakfast.

Some people don't even have breakfast.

I think that's crazy.

People don't wake up hungry.

So I guess you're making up for the people who don't have breakfast.

Yeah.

Single-handedly, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think it's one breakfast.

Thank you.

If you have it in one sitting

in the same place, you don't have the bagel and then go through to another room for the porridge.

Oh,

well,

sometimes.

Sometimes I might start in the kitchen and then go and sit in front of the TV for the second course.

Okay.

My breakfast.

Yeah, you're having two breakfasts.

Yeah.

I think I would only do what you do if I was in a hotel.

If I went to hotel breakfast, I would have a bagel and then have porridge.

But in the morning, in my own home, I'd probably choose, pick a side.

Okay, good to know.

Yeah.

How are you two getting on now?

I think as well as you two are,

to be honest.

Amelia, let's get into your dream menu proper.

Your dream starter.

This was so difficult

because

I just would rather not have one.

We love to hear it.

I just think starters are overrated.

Who's getting on now, you fucking prick?

You have a fucking starter at breakfast.

Oh, yeah, I do.

No, I do think that's just one breakfast.

Yeah, I sort of, I don't know, I never really have a starter.

I never really have a starter.

I feel like maybe it's just a bit of an underwhelming main hat.

It was a smaller main, sure, but why wouldn't you want a delicious small main before the main?

I just, and also, I sort of always think, oh, am I going to have room for pudding as well?

Yeah.

But, yeah, and

I don't know.

And, oh, gosh, it's all a bit much.

But anyway, if I did have to choose, I'd...

You don't have to.

You can pass on this course.

Can I?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, if you want to choose something, if you want to give something a shout-out, that's also...

You can.

I don't know now.

Tricky.

It's your dream menu, whatever will make you happiest.

Yeah.

But if you want to mention something, that's also cool.

Could I have something small?

Yeah, that's what a starter is.

Oh, is someone mansplaining again?

Thank you, sisters.

What was that?

That's me gesturing to my sisters.

The queens.

We met plenty of queens in the first half, didn't we?

I hope that girl over there, that queen, out.

You fucking sham!

That sister's doing alright over there.

I imagine she's asleep.

I'll have a dip.

Thank you.

Yeah.

What dip would you like?

Oh no!

No, no, no.

No, it's nothing to do with that.

It's nothing to do with that.

No, it's funny that

usually when people have a dip, there's something there's a dip in it

But I love that you've just chosen a dip but also what what I was enjoying is you said I'll have a dip and James obviously said what kind of dip and you panicked as if he wasn't going to ask that question

um satsuki satsuki lovely

but you're not dipping anything in it so it's no I'm spooning it into my mouth

it's a shot really isn't it can I have the bagel can I dip the bagel in it dip the bagel in dip the bagel in the satsuki the toasted bagel in, yeah.

I want it specifically from this restaurant that I love called Lamonia in London.

It's a Greek restaurant in Primrose Hill.

Nice.

And I go there for like every celebratory meal.

My family's had.

My parents had their wedding reception there.

It's a pretty nice place.

That's a nice story.

That's a nice story.

And we wouldn't have got that story.

We really wouldn't.

No.

On starter.

Exactly.

So I'm happy I said that.

What would you, if you were at Lamonia, did you say?

Is the place?

If you were there, what would you be dipping in the Satsuki?

Probably a bagel.

Take your own bagel with you.

Take my own bagel, yeah.

Yeah, sure.

In the little Tupperware.

Just the bread that they have there.

Nice.

Yeah.

That sounds lovely.

What a great starter.

Thank you.

What other things have your family celebrated there?

Birthdays.

Oh, I recently organised a surprise party there last weekend for my best friend.

Oh, wow.

It was good.

Although he wasn't that surprised.

Which is annoying.

I wanted him to cry.

Yeah.

yeah I wanted tears on the arrival but nothing do you think he got suspicions when when you said why don't you just come to this restaurant where I have all my celebrations

no actually yeah also now I'm thinking is it weird that I took him to my favorite restaurant for his birthday

yeah

and also it was because it was in the upstairs room so as soon as we started going to the upstairs room he was like oh I know we're going to the private upstairs room

yeah so it was it was it it was a terrible idea, really.

Did he say beforehand, did he do guessing?

Yeah.

He did guessing.

He did.

He guessed.

So I didn't do very well with that, but anyway.

Well, I'm sure he was still very grateful.

Did he say thank you?

Yes.

Yes.

He did.

No, he did.

He did.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You seemed to dislike him.

No.

No, I really like him.

We really like him.

What's his name?

Do you want to shout him out?

Felix.

Felix.

So when Felix went into the party,

what was the party?

Was it just sitting down and having some food, or did you put anything else?

Did you have balloons?

Did you have like a big banner that said happy birthday?

No, no.

That was just people sitting down, eating food.

Who was there?

Everyone.

Tell us everyone.

What do you mean to name the people?

Yeah, hang on.

My name.

Can I also check if

people had started eating before?

No, sorry.

No.

Sorry.

No one had started eating.

Everyone was stood up, waiting.

Apparently, they'd been there for ages because I told them I was going to be five minutes, but actually, I was like 10 minutes.

So they'd been waiting ages with the cameras and having to start the recording and then having to stop and record again.

And anyway, then I arrived and I was like, surprise.

And he already knew.

And I think I was more surprised.

Popsicles, sprinklers, a cool breeze.

Talk about refreshing.

You know what else is refreshing this summer?

I'll brand a new phone with Verizon.

Yep.

Get a new phone on any plan with select phone trade-in and my plan.

And lock down a low price for three years on any plan with my plan.

This is a a deal for everyone, whether you're a new or existing customer.

Swing by Verizon today for our best phone deals.

Three-year price guarantee applies to then current-based monthly rate only.

Additional terms and conditions apply for all offers.

You walk in tired and hungry.

One bad dinner away from losing it.

You don't like to cook.

You don't want more takeout.

You just want something good.

That's why there's Dish by Blue Apron.

Pre-made meals with at least 20 grams of protein and no artificial flavors or colors from fridge to fork in five minutes or less.

Keep the flavor, ditch the subscription, get 20% off your first two orders with code APRAN20.

Terms and conditions apply.

Visit blueapron.com slash terms for more.

Hi, who here loves when their nails are perfectly done?

Me?

I'm Sarah Gibson Tuttle, and I started Olive in June because let's be real, we all deserve to have gorgeous nails, but who wants to spend a fortune or half their day at the salon?

And that's why I created the Manny system.

So you can have that salon perfect manicure right at home.

And guess what?

The best part?

Each Manny only costs $2.

Yep, you heard me, $2.

No more $30, $40, $50 salon trips that eat up your day.

Now you can paint your nails whenever you want, wherever you want.

And trust me, you're going to be obsessed with your nails and everyone is going to ask you, where did you get your nails done?

And here's a little something extra.

Head over to olivinjune.com and get 20% off your first Mani system with code perfectmani20 at olivinjune.com slash perfectmanni20.

That's code perfectmani20 for 20% off at olivanjune.com slash perfectmanni20.

You're all set for a nail glow-up.

Let's get those nails looking fabulous, shall we?

Ever wonder why you have insurance for your car or home, but not your digital life?

Meet Webroot Total Protection, your digital bodyguard that is built for real life.

Webroot takes the guessing game out of cybersecurity so you can confidently browse, bank, and be yourself online without the worry of hackers lurking around the corner.

With Webroot Total Protection, you get antivirus that scans six times faster and takes up 33 times less space than the other guys.

Identity protection with up to $1 million in fraud expense reimbursement and 24-7 U.S.-based customer support.

VPN protection that hides your IP address, personal data, and location from hackers.

And cloud backup with unlimited storage that works automatically in the background.

With plans for individuals and families, Webroot makes it easy to live a better digital life.

Go to webroot.com forward slash promo and get 50% off today.

That's webroot.com slash promo to get 50% off today.

Live a better digital life with Webroot because peace of mind shouldn't be optional.

Your dream main course.

Oh gosh, I forgot about that.

Um, sorry.

You forgot, hang on, what?

Yeah, she forgot.

I forgot.

Okay, my main would be Pastor Pomodoro.

Ed is more of a pastor pasta connoisseur than I.

I don't know what pasta pomodoro is.

It's like pasta with tomato sauce.

Oh.

Who?

What?

This guy over there loves tomato sauce.

Loves it.

Really?

Yeah, he loves it.

Oh, so do I.

Get this, Amelia.

This guy over here, he ate,

I mean, ate is a big word, isn't it?

He used 25 25 bottles of Heinz tomato ketchup in the space of how many months was it?

A few months.

No, woo is not an answer, and that's not you.

A few months.

A few months.

A few months.

A few months.

Picture!

I can't even imagine what the picture would be.

It's either you covered in tomato ketchup, 25 empty bottles of tomato ketchup, you crying because you didn't get a reward.

I have no idea.

He ate all these bottles and then sent he sent a message to Heinz saying I've eaten 25 bottles of ketchup in a few months and he was expecting a reward

and they they tweet I guess it was on Twitter they tweeted him back saying oh cool no

didn't get anything so underwhelming yeah

what was what were you what were you just eating it with different food or just eating the ketchup I'd imagine I'd imagine when he got towards the end he was just fucking necking it

respect but I just to let James know I don't think that's the tomato sauce that's on Amelia's pasta.

Yeah, no, that's not.

Not Hein's tomato sauce?

No, no, no, no.

Like

slow-roasted tomatoes.

Nice.

Yep, in the oven.

Very nice.

For two hours.

Yeah.

With salt, garlic, oil.

Mush them around.

Put it on the pasta.

I'm not precious about the shape of the pasta either.

Are you not?

I don't.

I love all pasta shapes.

I don't discriminate.

You must, do you?

There must be one way you get it, and you're like, ah, I didn't want this one.

There must be a shape you don't enjoy.

Ooh, maybe, um,

oh my, what's it?

A tagliatelle.

Oh, shock in Manchester.

Sorry, Amelia.

I feel like you were forced into that and now the audience have turned on you.

I just think it's...

I just think it's...

Forking what?

I don't like it.

It's too...

It's too flat and...

like long and flat and...

You don't trust it?

I don't like the shape, no.

No.

I don't know.

I don't really trust it.

I can't believe that Tagliatelli is so popular in Manchester.

Fucking Tagliatelle.

It's fun to say.

I prefer a spaghetti, a linguine, penne,

even the even the bow ties.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Woo!

Absolutely.

They could be getting murdered.

And we're all like, yeah, yeah, fucking pissed out.

So fucking piss head in the corner, ignore them.

But the best pasta pomodora I've had was in Japan.

Oh yeah?

Yeah.

This is huge.

What?

Yeah, in Japan.

Me and my mum went to Japan for two weeks.

We didn't really...

To explore the cuisine.

We didn't.

We didn't really eat any Japanese food

when we were there.

I've never been to Japan.

I've heard that the food is mind-blowingly good.

So have I, wouldn't know.

Didn't have any.

But yeah, no,

me and my mum are quite picky with food.

Yeah.

So.

Why did you go to Japan?

Well, we want, well, because we wanted to see the sights.

Yes.

See it all, see the cherry blossom, see the fast trains.

That's good.

All that's all that.

See the fast trains.

Yeah, that's all good.

Where did you have this pasta pomodoro in Japan?

In this place called Nara, where there's like this huge deer park.

Wow.

You've heard of it.

I've been.

It's a wonderful place.

Yeah, and there was just the most amazing Italian restaurant there.

Now,

Nara is amazing because

you buy biscuits to feed the deer.

They're like special deer biscuits, you're not like hobnobs or anything.

Yeah.

And you go up to a deer with a biscuit and they bow before you put them on the biscuit.

It's absolutely incredible.

They're so polite.

They're so polite.

And you can go and meet all these deer.

There's like thousands of the things.

And me and my wife both bought a packet of biscuits.

And I turned around after about two minutes.

My wife was behind me.

And she'd fed her entire packet of biscuits to one deer.

This deer just kept going,

he was like, He's just so nice.

Talking about 12 quid, those biscuits.

One deer is gonna shit himself to death.

The great Benito does that.

We feed him biscuits, and he does a little,

he does a bow, and then we feed him a biscuit.

At the end of every podcast, we'll call us a little reward for him.

Some people do get rewards.

Sorry, man.

Now, look, obviously, when I went, I love Japanese food, so I was very excited.

But also, what is amazing about Japan is with their cuisine, they're so detailed, whatever cuisine it is.

So there's like some of the best French restaurants in the world are in Tokyo.

So I can see it being an amazing Italian restaurant that make the best pasta pomodoro.

It's probably a great shout.

I did have some Yakosoba noodles

in the tube station.

They had, no, that apparently one of the best Yakosoba restaurants in Tokyo is in one of the tube stations.

And it was, it was really nice.

And my mum quite liked it because it's sort of pastory-esque.

So

you said your mum was a picky eater.

You and your mum are both picky eaters, you said.

Kind of, yeah.

Has this been a thing you've enabled each other over the years?

Is there a history here?

Yeah, she is.

Yeah.

I grew up in a house where we didn't, we, like, my parents don't cook.

Yeah.

And we would have

like ready meals almost every evening.

But my mum would never let us get a microwave, so they would always be in the oven, which I actually think makes them taste better.

Yeah.

For longer.

And then if we weren't having that, we'd be having pasta, yeah.

I never really, food was not a big part of my life growing up.

And your mum still isn't really into.

No, not really.

I mean, and she doesn't cook at all.

Like, she literally has a plaque in the kitchen that says, I only have a kitchen because it came with a house.

That's good stuff.

Yeah, they just, yeah, we just don't really, yeah, they don't really cook.

I love signs like that.

Yeah.

Yeah, they're funny.

Have you got a funny sign?

I don't think you've got any funny signs in your house.

I'm going to get a funny sign.

And you got a toilet because it came to the house?

Yeah.

Like gin o'clock or something.

I'm going to get a gin o'clock sign.

Oh, ginn o'clock's funny.

Gin o'clock's good.

My granddad had a certificate up in the kitchen saying that he was the Northern Ireland junior champion of washing up.

Is that true?

It's not.

Apparently, I used to believe it as a kid.

And then it turns out he'd had it made.

Oh, what?

That's when we really did.

He did also claim claim to be the Northern Ireland Junior Champion of everything.

My mum does make me little salads.

Like when she makes me food at home, she'll make,

like, I've been recently saying, oh, can I have like a bit of salad with the pasta?

And then she makes me, she made me these salads.

And she makes it's like three pieces of lettuce, half a cherry tomato, and like a slither of cucumber in a ramekin dish.

It's like for a hamster or something.

When asked about this, did she just think it was normal to have done that?

What?

Did you to make the did you say, Mum, this is absolutely tiny?

Are you kidding me?

Yeah, no, she doesn't normal, yeah.

Because she had one side salad, so she just made a little mini salad.

In like, you know, the creme, like things you make creme brulee in.

Yeah, that was what the salad was in.

Do you creme the top of the salad first?

Yeah,

always.

Always got it.

Your mum's the only person who buys goo puddings and goes, that'd be useful as a salad bowl.

Yeah,

literally.

Yeah.

Goo straight in the bin.

Don't like that.

Vince it out.

So what was so amazing about this pasta then in the in Japan that made it so much better than all the other pasta pomodos you've ever had?

I just think also the fact that I was in Japan and

just for me, okay, for me eating out restaurants, it's actually more it it's actually more about like the vibe and the restaurant and the ambiance and the people rather than the food because which maybe sounds crazy.

No, I completely understand that.

For me, I'm not really that much of a foodie, so for me, there's so many other elements to what makes eating out

mean something than the actual food itself.

I guess it's a plus if the food is nice.

Yeah, I mean, I said, as you were saying, I do understand that, but I just want it clear that I think the opinion is wrong.

It's wrong, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, the opinion's wrong.

Because if the food's good, I would eat it in a ditch with some convicted murderers.

Really?

Okay, I would not at all, no.

Yeah.

I'm interested.

Yeah.

With murderers.

Yeah, like the worst ones as well.

Oh my gosh.

He would do that.

He's not even exaggerating for comic.

If someone said, this place does the best burger ever, and then I turn up and it's like all of the biggest serial killers of all time.

Yeah.

And I've got to chat to them about their crimes.

Yeah.

I'll be like, yeah.

And fries on the side, please.

Yeah.

He would do it.

Yeah.

I mean, how good would the food have to be for you to have to share it with, let's go for the Crays.

The Cray twins.

Yes.

Oh, I've always wanted to meet them, actually.

I have.

They're quite glamorous.

Yeah, they seem cool, yeah.

I don't know, yeah, so maybe not there with them.

Yeah, I wouldn't mind.

How about this?

Oh, no.

Oh.

Have you ever had a guest on chicken shop dates who was so much of a scumbag that you weren't able to eat your food?

Ooh, I only really nibble anyway.

I'm nibbling, yeah, because I'm just thinking of my questions the whole time.

Most people don't actually eat when they're on the show.

We just put the box in front of them.

They forget to eat.

Is there food in there?

Yeah, there's food in there.

Where's it go?

Well, then the crew eats it afterwards.

Yeah, don't ever have James on that show.

He's saying nothing back to you.

He's answering no questions.

I've had Pastor Pomodoro all over the world.

Everywhere I've been.

Everywhere I've been.

I've had it all over, and sometimes not a good idea.

Can you take us through the best Pasta Pomodoro and take us through the league table right down to the worst Pasta Pomodoro?

As we know, best Japan.

Tick.

Yeah.

Worst

Cuba.

Another nation famous for its own cuisine?

Yeah, I just shouldn't have done it.

Yeah.

But

I just couldn't resist.

Had to try it.

I had to try it.

And I'd been in Cuba for a month at this point, and I was just like, I just really want some pasta bombodoro.

But it was horrible.

What was so bad about it?

I don't think it was pasta bomboduro.

I think it was something else.

I think it was some kind of play-doh or something.

Yeah, that'll work against it.

It wasn't good.

Yeah, but this thing is they have it everywhere, all over the world, pasta madoro, universal.

It's a good favourite dish to have, really.

I could eat it every day.

I could eat it for, I could eat it all day, every day.

Honestly, I could have it every single day.

You could add it to your one breakfast.

Yeah.

I could.

I could have it as the third course.

No, I probably couldn't have a breakfast, but I love it.

I really love it.

So that's why I'd be my main meal.

I'd watch that as a series, a new series.

Casta Pomodoro Across the World with the Media de Moldenberg.

Yes.

Okay.

Cool.

I'll make that.

Just you walk.

Isn't that how it's done, isn't it?

TV, you just go, yeah, I'll do that.

You probably could do that.

Yeah.

You could choose the chicken shop crew because they just work for food anyway by the sound of things.

Yeah, yeah, they do.

And they can all just slurp up the

leftover pomodoro at the end.

It's also the only food, only dish I can make.

Yeah, because when you described it at the top, there, I know, it sounded legit, didn't it?

You definitely made this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've made it, but it's the only thing I can make, yeah.

So, Honan, for your dream meal, you're having the one from Japan, you're not having your own one.

Oh,

I'm not fussy.

It's a dream.

I'll have the one.

I'll have the one from Japan.

Sure.

I'll do that one, yeah.

In Japan, did they grate any cheese over the top?

Is that something you enjoy?

No, I like to grate my own cheese, please.

So you want the one from Japan, but you'd like to grate your own cheese?

Yes, and I would like the grater and the cheese.

I don't want the grated cheese already.

You know what I mean?

Like, I don't want a pot of grated cheese.

I want the block of cheese and the grater, and I'll do it myself.

Why are you so specific that you want to grate it yourself?

Do you have a special style?

No, it's well, no, it's just because I feel like whenever cheese is grated for me, I always want more, but then I'm too embarrassed to be like, yeah,

like I want more.

So I say, that's fine, but actually it's not.

Well, let's, so I'll play the waiter.

Okay.

And I'll start to grate.

No, because I don't, this is the thing, this is when it gets complicated because now I'm already embarrassed, like awkward and embarrassed.

You feel awkward about I feel awkward now

already with it.

Well, let's imagine I'm the waiter.

Okay.

And I'm grating the cheese.

No, I don't want you to grate the cheese.

No, I know you don't want me to, but let's pretend we're in a restaurant.

And how long in your dream world would he be grating for?

Oh, okay.

Eh, don't do that.

Sorry.

I couldn't think of any other way to mimic.

Fuck it, hell.

Okay, let's just.

Oh, there is no way.

There is no way of miming grating without it looking fucking awful.

I'll just imagine.

I can't look, Amelia.

I can see why you were preemptively.

This is why I didn't want this to happen.

Yeah, I'm on your side.

Is that alright?

No, not in any way.

Is that alright?

Just maybe like, maybe 20 seconds.

20 seconds.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's how long it takes anyway.

That's good, I respect that.

That is a lot of cheese to be grating for 20 seconds.

So if you want a proper covering of the cheese.

Yeah, until it's basically macaroni cheese.

Nice.

Are we thinking Parmesan?

Parmesan, yes.

Parmesan.

What do you think about a basil leaf on top of a pasta pomodoro?

I love a basil leaf on top.

Really?

I don't know how I feel about it.

You've got.

Psych, you thought you were about to bond then?

What do you think of a basil leaf on top?

I love it.

I don't like it.

This is the everything bagel all over again.

I think it's, and it's always like wilted.

Yeah.

And I don't, I just always think I go, whoop, take it off, put it on the side, doop.

And then it's just there.

No one doesn't say

that's there.

It's not adding much to the flavour, I suppose.

No, I think it's weird.

What if it was not wilted and it was a fresh, delicious basil leaf?

Oh, I don't know.

I don't think so.

Still.

Still take it off, yeah.

Doop, boop, boop.

Doop, doop doop, doop, doop doop.

Things that's fun to do, isn't it?

So would you rob yourself of that?

Doo doop, doop, doop, doop,

Basil noise.

Playing basil Tetris.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, so no basil.

Black pepper?

No.

Oh, my gosh, no.

Yeah, no, me, same, same.

No one.

Growing up in my house, we never had any pepper in the house.

Never?

No, never any pepper.

And then for so long, I thought I just didn't really know about seasoning really at all.

Because when my mum would make vegetables, it would just be in the boiling water, then drained onto the plate.

Like nothing,

not eat.

Like, yeah, and then I recently found out about putting butter on and salt and pepper.

How recently, Amelia?

Like a few years ago, yeah.

Wow.

Also, okay, okay, I've only ever had Christmas in London once.

Every other time, it's been in Manchester, actually, with my family.

And the time we had it in London, I was like to my dad, because my dad was gonna make the Christmas dinner for the first time.

And I said, Okay, I think maybe you should have, if you're gonna make the roasted potatoes, you should put garlic in the roasted potatoes because I've heard that that's what you do.

So I brought garlic over to the house.

My dad put garlic in the roasted potatoes, and then my mum refused to eat the potatoes because I had garlic in.

And then when I was leaving, when I was leaving to go back home, she gave me the garlic and she was like, You have to take this home with you.

I can't have it in the house.

What a way to find out your mum's a vampire.

yeah she wouldn't even keep it in the house she wouldn't keep the garlic in the house no but pasta pomodoro's got fucking garlic in it yeah i know and she gobbles that up right well she gobbles that up yeah

well no i don't know if she actually eats pasta pomodoro i thought you had it in japan with her yeah but i had it what did she have Fucking the deer biscuits or something

bowing to herself every time.

I don't know.

Maybe she had...

I don't know what she had.

Maybe she had like a carbonara or something.

Yeah, a different pasta, dish.

A different pasta, yeah.

So now you, even though you discovered salt and pepper, you still don't want black pepper on the pasta poman.

No, I don't.

Although it is quite funny when you see like a comically large pepper grinder, isn't it?

Or is it?

Or is it like, what?

Do you want me to mime it?

Yeah.

Go on.

Yeah.

If the guest wants you to mime it, you have to do it.

Do it.

Do it.

No, I mean, comically large.

It's got to be big.

Yeah, that doesn't look.

No.

I'll be honest, I thought this was large.

Not for a pepper grinder.

Okay.

You'd have to do it like that, really, wouldn't you?

That's bigger than anyone I've ever seen before.

Same.

Yeah, I bet it is.

That's a good...

Really good action there, Ed.

Thank you.

Just say when.

Okay, stop.

Stop now.

Stop.

Right.

Thank you.

The garlic thing,

my wife's granddad absolutely hates garlic.

He's from Sheffield.

Yeah.

He's an absolute legend, this guy.

But if you tell him garlic's in a meal, he's like, oh no, I don't like garlic.

Absolutely not.

No way.

And then if my mother-in-law makes him something, she'll put garlic in it, but just not tell him.

And every single time he cleans the plate, he's like, oh, that's delicious.

There's a really interesting flavour in it.

That's literally what my mum does as well.

I can't quite put my finger on it, but it's absolutely.

Oh, Kathy, it's absolutely delicious.

I could have more of that.

that.

I'm licking the plate over here.

What is that flavour?

Oh, God.

I love his voices.

Your dream side dish, Amelia.

Oh,

my dream side dish is

chicken nuggets.

Woo!

Woo!

You seem so tired of having to say that.

No, no, because I thought it was a bit obvious, but it is my side dish.

It genuinely is.

Yeah, just for no reason in particular.

Okay.

But you do genuinely love it.

I love chicken nuggets.

Yeah, I love chicken nuggets.

I eat them all the time, on chicken shop date, off chicken shop date.

I don't really like chicken on the bone.

Me neither.

Oh.

Yeah, don't like it at all.

You have to go at me for it.

You guys need to fucking suck it up.

I just don't like the consistency.

I think it's...

I much prefer a boneless or a breast nugget situation.

Don't like a leg, don't like a thigh.

What else do you have?

And

wit, no.

No.

No.

Is it a genuinely consistency thing, or is it weird for you to have the bone in there because then you think of it being an animal?

Which was.

Oh, no, that doesn't mind that.

No.

I don't like it.

I think it's a bit slimy.

I mean, so what about boneless thighs?

I think that's probably the best, the best cut.

The thighs are the best.

Aren't all thighs bone?

Is there a bone in?

Yeah.

Yes, I'm suddenly very pro-mansplaining.

Just checking.

You don't have a bone in your thigh.

When you get up at the end of the podcast, you'd fall straight on the floor.

Oh, gosh.

Yes, chicken nuggets.

Chicken nuggets.

From a particular place?

Is it a Mackie D's chicken nugget?

I think Morley's has the best chicken nuggets.

Woo!

And if also McDonald's do have really good nuggets as well.

How many nugs are you getting from McDonald's if you're going?

Because they, what's the you can get 24 nugs, can't you?

Oh, I wouldn't get 24, I'd get six.

Six nugs.

But sometimes I get a happy meal, so I get four.

Yeah,

the ripple went across the crowd there.

Yeah, I wasn't sure about that.

Does four just come with the happy meal?

I think four is a happy meal, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

How often are you getting a happy meal?

Uh I'll normally normally get a happy meal if I go to McDonald's.

Yeah, what you get with what?

With what you're doing with the toy, oh, just to get keep them at home.

My toy drawer.

And a fruit shoot.

So you get a fruit shoot in the happy meal.

You can choose fruit shoot, yeah.

You can choose.

Okay.

What else do you get in that?

Chips.

I will just say this.

I haven't had a happy meal since I was seven, so.

Oh.

Sucks to be you.

Yeah, you know, McDonald's apparently are the largest toy distributors in the world.

Sorry, we should have explained grimaces in the crowd tonight.

Yes.

That's someone who's recently told a friend that and been told they're full of shit.

Yes, thank you.

I was actually thinking recently, like, what did in these situations, like when you say a fact and then your friend's like, no, that's not true, before people had Google and could have it, like, look on their phone, like, what happened?

Do you think we can actually tell you?

Sorry to say that we do remember those times.

Oh, yeah.

It just meant that the whole night was one discussion.

And you spent the whole night just going like, oh, but,

oh, because there was a thing.

What was the thing?

You know the thing I'm talking about.

And you were there and you were just all going insane collectively.

And then you'd have to, it would go on for ages.

And go on beyond that one night.

You'd see someone the next day.

Yeah.

You'd go, do you know what I mean?

They said that Madonna's are the biggest toy distributors in the world.

And then they'll go, oh, I think I heard that somewhere.

Like, did you?

When did you heard it?

Oh, I can't remember, no.

And then you just never know.

Yeah.

And then eventually we got the internet and we could all just like, when we originally got the internet, all of us spent a week

just getting up to speed.

And imagine this.

Like, you'd have to go to the toilet and just go to the toilet.

Do you...

I don't Google on the toilet.

You don't Google on the toilet?

No.

You're not on your phone on the toilet.

No.

You're not on your phone.

No.

You're not YouTubing?

No.

What are you doing?

I'm just going on the toilet.

Really?

Yeah.

I don't think...

Really?

So you're sat there on your phone?

Watching YouTube on the toilet?

Yeah.

Yeah, like the other day, I had to, like, consciously decide I'm going to leave my phone in the living room.

I'm going to go for a shit.

Yeah.

And like, it was like the first time I'd had a shit for ages.

Like, I'd done a lot of shits, but I hadn't had a shit.

Yeah.

Wow.

I really felt like this was my.

I was experienced it.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

I was present for it.

Well, I need my phone on the toilet because every time me and Nish have a shit, we text each other about it.

Which is really weird because they're back to back.

We had to have a specially built toilet.

What do you text?

Like, I'm having a shit.

Yeah, like, oh, normally if Nish does a really bad one, depending where he is,

say he was at the Manchester Road to Apollo, he'd text me and I'd know he'd had a shit because he'd say, So sorry, Manchester Road to Apollo.

That's like the code.

Yes.

I've had a shit.

So your chat history, your chat history is just shit, shit.

Yeah.

Yeah, I've had a shit.

Yeah.

Cool.

Two days ago, I rang Nish and he answered by going, Gonna level with you, Jimmy.

I'm having a shit.

Don't answer the phone, man.

Just don't answer it.

Just ring me back when you're not shitting.

How's that fun, idea?

I vaped on the toilet the other day.

That was a a low point.

Oh, God.

Really?

Because you're a YouTube sensation, though.

For you,

is looking at YouTube a bit of a busman's holiday, so you're not going to want to look at it on the toilet.

It's like work.

No, but I don't have my phone on the toilet.

I'm scared it'd fall in.

There's no chance of the phone falling in when I'm on the toilet.

No?

No.

Ed's smells so bad, he could let go of the phone and it would just hover there.

It's actually a plus.

I can just put text like that.

I can put both hands behind my head, and it just hovers like something at the Jetsons.

You won't know what's happening.

Google it when you Google the Jetsons.

Thank God I can do that.

So, you want the Morley's chicken nuggets, six of them?

Yes, please.

Dipping saucers?

Ketchup.

Ketchup.

I bet now what's really going to be galling is because you're on this podcast talking about ketchup.

Heinz are going going to send you so many rewards.

I remember in lockdown, Heinz sent me like a crate of mayonnaise.

That stings even more

than if it was ketchup.

Yeah.

That is perfect.

This is the guy who wanted to be sent loads of Heinz ketchup.

It was his dream.

And you got sent.

Heinz mayonnaise, which is even better.

I did.

Because he wishes he'd get the ketchup and you you could have got the ketchup, but you didn't.

You chose to have mayonnaise instead.

Well, I didn't choose to have mayonnaise.

Oh, why?

They sent me mayonnaise.

Why?

Why had you been?

I don't know why.

I honestly, to this day, I don't know why.

I got a crate of mayonnaise.

Like, honestly, so much mayonnaise.

You hadn't even shouted out mayonnaise or Heinz?

No, I hadn't.

How did they get your address?

Maybe through my manager.

I don't know.

So, your manager got a request from Heinz saying, we want to sell Amelia some mayonnaise, and they went, yes, here's her home address.

Sometimes when they reach out,

they won't tell you what it is, they're going to send you, they'll just ask for your address.

Well, now I don't do that kind of stuff.

Now, I wouldn't like just giving people my address, but I think back then I was like, Yeah, sure, dig it.

What were you hoping for from Heinz?

Probably ketchup,

yeah.

Well, they're very withholding, yeah.

They don't do that, they don't.

Oh, and I got a mug as well, a mug that said Heinz mayonnaise

on it.

So, which I quite appreciate a mug, Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't think I could drink like tea or coffee out of a mug that said mayonnaise on it.

That would feel really weird.

Really weird, yeah.

Yeah, you'd start thinking you were drinking mayonnaise.

Yeah, but you're not.

But no, you're not.

No.

No,

in the story, I wasn't.

Okay.

Yeah.

What were you drinking in the story?

Tea or coffee.

I've made it very clear.

You two are getting on my fucking nerves.

Just wanted to know what you're drinking in the story.

Yeah, I said at the beginning.

Do you guys like chicken nuggets?

Yes.

I do.

If I go to McDonald's, I do rarely go to McDonald's.

I'd say.

But if I do go to McDonald's, I will normally.

But I'll normally get chicken nuggets because that's...

I think chicken nuggets, chicken selects.

Oh, yeah.

Chicken selects.

Maybe selects is what I'd go for.

But I think they're the only two good things on the menu now.

I had a Big Mac the other day because every so often, I'd say once a year.

Thought you didn't go to McDonald's?

Huh?

Thought you didn't really go to McDonald's?

I didn't really go to McDonald's.

Yeah, thought you go.

You don't really go to McDonald's?

No, this was my one year this was my one in a year okay cool it just happened to be the other day Amelia right Jesus fucking Christ

how often are you how often are you going in the story

you know what this feels like now it feels like I'm being bullied by a brother and sister

carry on carry on thank you carry on Ed I got a Big Mac because I'm very nostalgic for Big Macs but they're fucking horrible I don't know if they've gone downhill or whether they were always horrible.

It was like eating three drinks coasters stacked on top of each other.

No, it's not nice.

No, I agree.

That sounds horrible, Ed.

Select?

You wouldn't go select?

No, sometimes I have a select.

But usually I have a nugget.

Yeah.

So when you said

there's a big hole in that story, Amelia.

Okay.

Do you want to say something?

I'll back, but yeah, yeah, yeah.

Step in here.

What I gather from what Amelia was saying is that she will always have the nuggets, but very, very occasionally

might have a chicken toilet.

Well, then you don't know what the word always means.

It's hard, though, when you're on the move to have a chicken nugget

and

dip with the little ketchup dip.

If you're on the move and you've got the nuggets and the dip, it's really challenging.

That's something I would say.

I've got this opportunity to speak on it.

Yeah.

And I would say it's quite challenging to do it all.

Do you have a technique for being on the move and dipping?

Balancing.

Balancing.

Yeah.

But okay, open.

Okay, you've got the box.

Open the box, put the ketchup in the other side of the box, and then you can hold it like that and you can dip like that.

Do you want me to mime the dipping?

No.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's a big nugget.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Big nugget, isn't it?

Lovely.

Your dream drink, Amelia.

This was kind of hard too because I feel like I like so many different drinks, but I've recently got into drinking apple spritz

popular choice and I never used to like it I always just think it tasted like fairy liquid um and then I was at a wedding recently and they sort of only really had apple spritz and I drank it and I loved it I feel like it gets you the right amount of drunk yeah what's the just sort of like tipsy in a good way doesn't make you tired I like I just I like how it makes me feel No matter how many you have, you're tipsy all night.

Yeah.

James has been looking for that thing for ages.

It's what I've been chasing my whole life.

I love the sound of this.

I mean, I've had Apparoles.

I get, I mean, maybe you felt like this at the wedding when it was the only option.

Like, because there's a few weddings do this now, where like the first drink that they send out after the ceremony is just Apparol Spritz, and you're looking around, like, surely

there's something else here.

Surely, surely you're not thinking all of us like this.

Well, because it's such a specific text.

That's what I thought, too.

But they sometimes say things like, this might have been what happened at this wedding.

They'll go like, oh, well, we're all having apparel spritz because that's what we had on our first date.

And you're like, well, then you've got terrible text.

People like different things.

An imperative?

Imperitif?

Imperitif?

Oh, I've got a joke.

Okay, ready?

What did the toothless man order at the bar?

Okay, now you've given away the punchline, haven't you?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

This is good.

This is good.

This is good.

Don't go thinking you know the punchline already.

That's funny.

He loves it.

Great.

Go on.

That's a good joke.

I don't know.

I don't know.

What did the toothless man order at the bar?

A pair of teeth.

Yay!

That's good.

That's a good one.

That's good, actually.

That's funny.

We arrive at your dream dessert.

Very exciting.

I know that this is going to be good.

You've already said that, you know, you didn't want the starter because you want room for dessert.

Exactly.

It's very exciting.

Very exciting.

My dessert is going to be, you know, those

chocolate pots that have half of the buttons that you tip in.

Do you know what I mean?

You get them from the supermarket.

They're like.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

I don't think I do know what.

What do you mean?

Oh, I've actually got them here.

Oh, great.

Thank you.

I got three.

Oh, I appreciate this.

Oh,

oh, yeah.

Okay, great.

Oh, a Cadbury flake.

Oh, yeah, like a little dessert.

Yeah, because I'm trying to figure out what they're called, but they're called chocolate dessert.

But that still doesn't explain it.

Well, they do say Cadbury flake on them.

Cadbury flake with a milk chocolate dessert.

But I like.

like, I don't, I just forgot spoons.

I forgot a spoon.

I forgot spoons.

Now,

so you could.

Yeah.

Can I just say something about these sorts of things?

Yeah.

Look, I'm all on board for this.

Yes.

So they put on the front a picture of a spoon.

Yeah.

James, I've got some great chat coming up here, man.

Are you just licking the lid?

They are good, aren't they?

I think we better watch what is about to happen, Amelia, because

I'm just trying to figure out.

So tip it in first.

Huh?

Tip it, tip in.

Tip it in first.

Tip in first.

I'll shot it.

I can shot this.

Yeah.

I'm pretty sure I can shot this.

Yeah.

It's uh, I think we could try this.

Are you excited about this?

Yeah.

Okay.

I'll try my best.

Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.

Squeeze, squeeze.

Yeah!

Wow!

Did you just shut it?

Yeah!

Delicious.

Don't need a spoon.

Wow.

Thank you, Amelia.

You're welcome.

Incredible.

Yeah.

So anyway, that's my dessert.

That's amazing.

Now...

I like all the...

Because you can get all different kinds of flake, whisper, buttons, Rolo, all kinds.

Depends what you feel like.

Now, Rolo doesn't have the.

It's just the.

No, I thought before you used to be able to get ones that had, you could tip them in, but maybe they've stopped doing them.

Oh.

See, I'm only familiar with the Rolo dessert spat on myself.

That's just.

That's just.

Because that Rolo dessert I think is one of the best desserts in the world.

Yeah.

That's incredible.

Actually, someone's dream dessert on the Dream Manies from the audience tonight was a four pack of Rolo desserts.

Yeah.

Really?

Absolutely fully justified.

That is like a very acceptable answer for the best dessert.

And when I was a kid, there wasn't these right, but we had obviously the what was it called?

The one where you just had like plain yoghurt and there was fruit compot on the other side.

Yeah, like a Muller Corner.

But they did what they've done here, which is they show a picture of the spoon with the other thing directly on top of it, and it says serving suggestion, right?

Now, in the adverts from Muller Corner, and this genuinely annoyed me as a child, right?

This now feels like a diagnosis of something.

They would show a spoonful of yogurt with a spoonful of the compot perfectly on top,

with like yogurt around the outside.

So it's like someone to put the compot on the yoghurt, and I spent hours trying to get that.

There was no way of doing it.

Well, if you get another spoon.

No, fuck that, man.

Then they should have shown that on the apple.

That's unbelievable.

It's unbelievable, yeah.

It's easier with the flake, of course, because you can pick them up and pop them on top.

Well, no, you just, you tip.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But you're a tipper, you like to tip, I like to tip, yeah.

And I, this is the thing that I always bring to a dinner party:

I'll arrive and I'll bring as many as there are with as many people there are, I'll bring enough desserts for everyone.

It always, honestly, it it goes down really well.

I bet it does, actually.

It does, because they're like, oh, I haven't seen these in ages.

And yeah, and then, but then, but one time, I, um, the only the one time I had a surprise birthday thrown for myself, I went to my friend's Felix, actually, his house.

And I thought I was just having dinner with him and my one other friend.

So I arrived, as usual, with three of these dessert pots.

And as I walked in, everyone went, surprise!

And I burst out crying.

And I was like, I've only got three dessert pots.

So, but these are your number one of all the different cabbri desserts.

Cabby flake is your number one?

Well, no, this is just the only one they had in the shop.

I think maybe I'd go buttons, but to be fair, I do love a flake.

I was thinking about doing a Mr.

Whippy with a flake as my dessert, but because I love flakes, but then I went with this instead.

I would like to do, if you would humour me, if you could do your like a proper league table rankings of these kind of desserts, because people haven't chosen these desserts before.

And you seem to be quite the best.

No one's chosen this before.

No, no.

And you're a connoisseur, you know all the different ones.

I would love to know the the proper.

Well, I think classic buttons might be number one.

Yeah.

I think flake is number two.

Whisper, I don't know how I feel about whisper in general.

Do you ever buy a whisper bar?

Whisper gold, I would say, is up there in my top five chocolate bars, but the straight-up whisper, probably not.

Yeah, so maybe that's a bit like...

Did they used to do chunky ones?

No, crunchy.

Sorry, crunchies.

Did they?

Did they used to do crunchy ones?

Maybe they did crunchy ones.

Two blokes who look like each other have nodded in the front row.

I think crunchy's up there as well.

Maybe crunchy's number two.

And because it's like

the texture of the crunchy with the chocolate dessert.

Yeah, so maybe crunchy's number two and then flake's number three, whispers number four.

Freddo.

Freddo.

They do a Freddo one.

Freddo, yes.

Gosh, maybe Freddo's number one.

Hold on.

What's the...

They're just bits of Freddo's body.

It's Minnie Freddo's.

Isn't it Minnie Freddo's?

No, it's Minnie Freddo's.

Because if it's like dismembered bits of Freddo, and it feels like you're disposing of his body.

Yeah, and eating it.

Yeah.

Yeah, maybe Freddo's number one then.

Huh?

Dime.

Well, they do dime one.

Dime.

Oh, I don't know if I like a dime.

Is the dime one just chocolate dessert?

Amelia, do you remember when you asked what was it like before everyone had Google?

I also just think they're such a good size, you know, they're just small.

Yeah.

I like having something sweet after pretty much every meal.

Yeah, good on you.

Absolutely.

Me too.

My mouth feels like weird otherwise.

I feel like we actually are really similar.

Yeah, with our thoughts.

Yeah.

We're really similar.

We're really similar.

I knew that from minute one of this podcast.

Yeah.

But I can't believe that Rolo dessert isn't even cracking the top five here.

Oh, yeah, but then, sure.

I'll put it in there.

You don't have to.

I did forget about it.

I did forget about it.

I do love it because of the

consistency when you bite into it.

It is good.

Let's put it at number three.

Oh.

That went quite well.

I also would like to shout out the Milky Bar dessert.

I think that's very good.

I don't think I've had that one.

It's so good.

It's just like, all it is is just the pudding.

It's not got anything to put in it.

It's just...

But it tastes amazing.

Does it taste like a Milky Bar?

Yeah.

Wow.

That consistency, but it tastes tastes like a Milky Bar.

I could eat 10 of them and not even think about it.

Whoa.

Gone.

Shotted.

I'd shot all of them, one after the other, and that's my own surprise party for myself.

Right, I'm going to read your menu back to you now, Amir.

Let's see how you feel about it.

Okay.

Okay, you would like tap water from your grandparents' shower.

A smooth bagel toasted with Lerpak.

Starter, Tanziki with L or from Limonia.

Yeah.

Main course.

Pasta Pomodoro from the Italian restaurant in Nara, Japan.

Parmesan grated by yourself.

Yeah.

Side dish.

Six Morley's chicken nuggets with ketchup.

Drink, apparole spritz and dessert.

A cabrie, chocolate dessert.

Freddo is currently number one.

How do you feel about that?

Delicious.

The off-menu menu of Amelia de Boldenberg.

Thank you so much, Amelia de Boldenberg, everybody.

Thank you so much, Manchester.

Thank you for coming.

We'll see you soon.

Bye.

Have a nice week.

Bye-bye.

There we are.

Thank you so much to Amelia.

And of course, I mean, you already watch it, but please watch Amelia DeMoldenberg's chicken shop date on YouTube.

Yes, get on there now.

If you haven't watched it already, come on, what are you doing?

And whenever there's a big fancy event, do watch Amelia's red carpet coverage and interviews with people.

people thank you for listening we'll be back next week with another live episode from our residency in manchester bye-bye goodbye

popsicles sprinklers a cool breeze talk about refreshing You know what else is refreshing this summer?

A brand new phone with Verizon.

Yep, get a new phone on any plan with Select Phone Trade In and MyPlan.

And lock down a low price for three years on any plan with MyPlan.

This is a deal for everyone, whether you're a new or existing customer.

Swing by Verizon today for our best phone deals.

Three-year price guarantee applies to then current base monthly rate only.

Additional terms and conditions apply for all offers.

Hello, I'm Carrie Add.

I'm Sarah.

And we are the Weirdos Book Club Podcast.

We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival.

The date is Thursday, 11th of September.

The time is 7pm.

And our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies.

Tickets from kingsplace.co.uk.

Single ladies is coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September.

At the London Podcast Festival.

The rumours are true.

Saturday, the 13th of September.

At King's Place.

Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet.