Ep 228: Ray Winstone

James, huge news from the world of off-menu and indeed the world of the world.

Yes.

Ever heard of the Royal Albert Hall?

I have.

We've done live shows there.

And guess what?

We're doing more live shows there next year.

Sure, a lot of them are sold out already.

But we thought, hey, throw these guys a bone.

Let's put on one final Royal Albert Hall show in that run.

The show will be on Monday, the 16th of March.

It's going to be a tasting menu, a returning guest coming back, receiving the menu of another previous guest.

Those shows have been a lot of fun.

We cannot wait to do them live.

Who will we pull out of our little magic bag?

You'll have to come along on the 16th of March to find out.

If I'm correct in thinking, presale tickets go on pre-sale on the 10th of September.

Pre-sale tickets are 10th of September at 10 a.m.

And then the general sale is 12th of September at 10 a.m.

So if you miss out on the pre-sale, don't forget general sale is only two days later.

The day in between is for reflecting.

Get your tickets from royalalberthall.com Hall.com or offmenupodcast.co.uk.

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Suffs!

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Welcome to the off-menu podcast, taking the cherries of fun, putting those in the fruit salad, and that's the fruit salad then.

Now, you think I've already done that right i think you've already said that's the fruit salad i'll be honest with you guys let's finish if i i don't know what's coming out come out yet already yeah but i've been doing this thing where i build a fruit salad across the episodes james loves it because i immediately lost track of what i'd said and what i hadn't yeah and i don't know if how many things are in the fruit salad or that is the end of the fruit salad now i think there's at least five maybe as many as eight yes but if you put together a list of fruits and say that that's in the fruit salad we don't know if that is the fruit salad.

Benito's job to know.

Yeah, it is Benito's job to know, but he's already told me

he's got a tab on his spreadsheet called fruit salad.

Yeah.

And by no means are they all in there.

Yeah, well, that's poor form because a lot of people would have been playing this game at home where they write down everything that's in the fruit salad, then email, well, then tweet Benito to let him know what the fruit salad is and he'll send him a signed chopping board.

Yeah.

So

if he's going to waste everyone's time, then that's a big shame.

Yeah, I mean,

I've wasted bonito's time and he's wasted their time i guess i'm the only good guy in all this no you're not you're at the side like prodding us on and being the little bully no no not a bully just the whole thing was you know i i've encouraged your creativity yes and i tried to encourage benito's productivity yeah but sadly i failed there and it sums up my creativity that I started doing something halfway through went I don't know if I've done this properly and then just sort of given up on it.

Well, I know there definitely wasn't any cherries in the fruit cellar before.

So this is the first.

You haven't repeated yourself, ingredients-wise.

It's just, you know, how many there are, how many they are, when they're going to come out, and two of them, how many times you said that's the last thing in the fruit salad.

And that's the fruit salad.

Yeah, and that's the fruit salad.

So

we'll see.

You don't often see cherries in a fruit salad, do you?

No, not often.

But, you know, it's not outside the realms of possibility.

And I'm pretty sure that, you know, no context off menu who is not part of our organization, but, you know, is way more across our podcast than we are yes will know what's in the fruit salad exactly so maybe people should tweet no context off menu don't do that to the guy and say well i'm just trying to save the fruit salad game bonito's just told us there will be episodes going out after this one that are fruit salad yeah so that's not the fruit salad no it is it can still be the fruit salad but then afterwards just keep an ear out because there might be more and i don't know when those are coming out And we don't know.

In between those ones will be other things, intros that are different foods, not in the fruit salad.

Not in the fruit salads so you've really got to you can't put a smoked salmon cream cheese bagel in the fruit salad no for example i think i've done that so you've got to have like faith that you think that's the fruit salad done yeah before you do the tweet and if you do do it early that's it that's your go you're blocked that's one go we'll block you you get blocked yeah

so you will get blocked yeah if you guess the fruit salad too early yeah but then you know if you leave it too late someone might get there before you and win the chopping did i put a bit of orange juice in the fruit salad i would hope so yeah you need a bit of orange juice in it.

Yeah, but

I don't know if you definitely did it.

You know, well, I guess fruit salads are a lot like life.

You never know when it's over.

Is that the phrase?

That is it, Gamble.

My name is James A.

Caster.

Together, we own a dream restaurant, and every single week we invite in a guest.

So we ask them their favour, ever start, a main course dessert, side dish, and drink, not in that order.

And this week, our guest is Ray Winston.

Ray Winston, an actor with a huge CV, James.

So many legendary roles.

A national treasure.

Yes.

Oh, fully national treasure.

Very excited that we've got Ray in.

I mean, you know,

I'm both

I'm daunted.

Yes.

You know, but also excited to kind of like be a bit cheeky.

I feel like we can be cheeky with Ray Winstonston.

I feel like we can be a bit cheeky with Ray Winston, yeah.

Yeah, I feel like he's got a, he's a laugh.

He seems like a laugh.

But I think, are you a bit daunted because he plays hard men?

Plays hard men and like, you know, just

it's it's a world that I could never inhabit.

You know, those characters and there's something cool about those characters, really, you know, no matter how horrible some of them are.

Sexy Beast, big favourite of ours.

Love Sexy Beast so much.

Yeah.

Love, Honor, and Obey, one of my favourite films.

Oh, Love Honor and Obey, of course.

Yeah, I mean, it's exciting, man.

I mean, also,

I don't really know.

I don't have any idea what kind of food like Ray Winston would have.

It's very easy to just kind of like guess what, based on his characters, what he would be eating.

But

you're thinking of all like the cockney foods.

Or the tough guy foods.

Yeah, but what are tough guy foods?

I think they're the same.

It's a completely blue steak.

Just eating that.

Yeah, maybe.

Yeah.

Bangers and mash.

Bangers and mash.

Tough guy food.

Yeah.

Bangers and mash isn't tough guy food, man.

No.

No, it's too sloppy.

Yeah, I guess it's more the bino, isn't it?

Yeah.

Well, they're tough.

Bass Street kids are tough.

Bushstreet kids are tough.

They're horrible, man.

Not all of them.

They're horrible.

I would have hated to go to Bass Street school.

I'd have lasted two seconds.

If I went to Bass Street, I think...

I'm definitely not making it to the end of my first week then.

No.

Before going home to my mum and dad and saying, I can't go back.

Please don't make me go back there.

Yeah.

And don't bother talking to the teacher.

He's got no control of the class.

So you can't tell him to protect me.

Which strip in the B-node do you think you'd last the longest?

It's a great question.

Not Dennis the Menace.

Not Dennis the Menace.

I'll get beat up by Dennis the Menace.

I'll get beat up by many of the minks.

Ivy the Terrible would beat me up.

Billy Wiz would be too fast for me.

Couldn't keep up with him.

So I'd be knackered.

Calamity James.

I mean, I guess, you know.

Same name.

Same name.

I'm asking for trouble.

Yeah.

No.

Or you'd be friends.

He's very clumsy.

Yeah.

And trouble befalls him everywhere.

Pianos are falling on him and stuff.

So I think I'd be...

I'd put myself in harm's way there.

Yeah.

Billy Wiz, I'd just end up spinning around all the time when he runs past me.

Yeah, yeah.

I'd be sick.

Yeah.

The numbskulls?

Yeah, I guess the numb skulls, yeah, they live in people's heads, right?

People that are in your head.

It's like inside out before inside out.

Yeah.

It's a precursor.

Yeah.

It didn't make you cry, though.

No.

I don't think

the numb skulls did anything in the beano make me cry.

No.

They don't do pathos, really, the beano.

No.

But we know that, you know, one of the artists of the beano listened to this podcast.

So maybe a bit of pathos as a request from us.

That would be great.

And also, I don't know, you know, we're talking about our era of the beano.

There might be some new beano cats.

Well, I imagine, from what I gather it has progressed since yes i remember reading it as a kid and this is when i stopped reading the i used to read it every week i'd buy it every week with my pocket money really excited loved it when there was sweets free with it yeah and or a pea shooter or something yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i could fire the sweets into my mouth yeah yeah yeah uh how'd you fire some analyze that okay and um i remember when

i stopped reading it was because um there's a when we're dennis the menace I can't remember why he does it, but A, he steals someone's bike.

Yeah.

I was like, what the hell?

That's actual, that's a crime.

Yeah.

And he's just going down a hill on it, loving it.

He's going to get Walter and the other Softies.

That's his plan.

They're not called that anymore.

I know that.

Walter the Softie is not called Walter the Softie.

So that's that's progress.

Yeah.

It's called like Walter the sensitive lad or something.

Well, it's a bit of a mouthful, but it's

more respectful.

But he's going down a hill on this stolen bicycle.

to go and get these kids that you key calls the softies.

So already bad guy.

And one of the panels, there's just a pedestrian and Dennis Merch just pushes him in the face for no reason.

Just full, his full palm of his hand.

Yeah.

He's just laughing and pushes this guy in the face.

I remember being like, there's absolutely no need for that.

And I stopped reading the bino.

That was where I stopped doing it.

I was like, you can't do that.

I love that you had a tipping point.

I was already like,

not sure I'm on board of him stealing that bike.

And then when he pushes the innocent bystander in the face, I was like, Joe, what?

Fuck this prick.

I think for me, it's probably when I got like pubes.

Probably when I got a pube.

I was like, get rid of the bino now i don't need the bino anymore i'm a man i was halfway through shaving my beard when i saw that

pushing a kid in the face now even though we love ray winston as always if he says the secret ingredient an ingredient which we deem to be unacceptable we will have to kick him out of the dream restaurant and this week the secret ingredient is

damsons damson's damsons the fruits yeah they're sort of plummy things I don't really know I mean people always make them into jam yeah

I'll give that a swerve damson jam yeah personally see look it's very sort of middle englandy sort of

damson jam it's no it's not my sort of thing but i'll be honest we've picked it because ray's in the new film called the damsel yeah it's a film called damsel somebody's just gone damson yeah and made that the secret ingredient uh it's out on netflix come we will ask ray about it very good cast millie bobby brown's in it Robin Wright in it, Angela Bassett.

Yeah, that's a huge cast.

Yeah.

That's coming out on March 8th on Netflix.

And if you like Ray and you like Netflix, Netflix, you're in for a treat in March.

Because also coming out in March is The Gentleman, a new show, eight episodes.

Ray's in it.

Theo James is in it.

It's an insane cast.

Jolie Richardson's in it.

Vinnie Jones is in it.

It's a Guy Ritchie project.

Creator, co-writer and executive producer.

So that, you know what you're going to get there.

That's going to be a lot of fun.

I did something recently.

There's a counter in it called Rich Geisley.

Oh, yeah.

Yes.

Who sells hot sauce out the back of his car.

Oh, yeah.

So

Ghostbusters.

No, my own, my own thing.

Spring, Springleaf.

Available on all platforms.

Yeah, do go and get

your podcasts.

Um, I'm on tour as well.

Although, I'm gonna get Benito to record another special advert for that.

Oh, that's fun, that's exciting.

I look forward to that.

Well, without further ado, this is the off-menu menu.

Oh, should we put Damson's in the fruit salad?

Yeah, yeah, next time.

Okay, this is the off-menu menu of Ray Winston.

Welcome Ray to the Dream Restaurant.

Thank you very much.

Looking forward to it.

Welcome, Ray Winston, to the Dream Restaurant.

We're not expecting you for some time.

I love it.

I'm starving.

Yeah?

Pretty hungry?

Hank Marvin.

Does your personality change when you get hungry?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think so.

You know,

like most people, I guess.

Yeah, yeah.

I start to get a headache and then I get really a little bit mean, you know.

Yeah, argumentative.

Yeah.

Yeah.

See the face changing then.

Yeah, I thought.

I started thinking about it, it yeah you went method then i know a bit marlon brando won't i

that's what he used to do well later on in his career he was never starving marlon brando

bit too much then yeah yeah yeah yeah see now i don't know what's rhyming slang what isn't because you said hank marvin yeah and then you said marlon brando i was like what does that stand for and i feel you just made you a going method yeah yeah

i i i watched a clip of um Robin Williams talking about Marlon Brando this morning on my way here in the car uh and saying that he went to an acting class that Rando was like running.

Do you know I saw Robin Williams on stage when I was a young man?

First time I'd been to America and I was with Lou Adler who owned the club Whiskey Go-Go and all that on the strip right

and I was standing and meeting him for a movie and there was this kid he was doing his not an audition but he was training practicing on the stage at the whiskey go-go and he was phenomenal.

I mean that's a big word for me and I want to say that but he was unbelievable And I said, hello, who's this guy?

He said, it's a new guy, Robin Williams.

And he was there.

He was climbing up the sides of the walls and all that.

So I actually got to see him before most people did, you know.

Wow.

Yeah, incredible.

Incredible.

Funny man.

And then did you.

When you saw him popping up places, you're like, that's that guy.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, yeah.

Morkamindy, wasn't it?

Yeah, come along after that.

Yeah.

I loved Mork and Mindy.

Yeah, yeah.

Man, I was obsessed with it.

The first program that I loved.

Yeah.

Like Little Kid, and just being like, what is this?

You're a bit Mork.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's what I base my whole personality on.

Get it.

I get it.

Yeah.

I still went to, well, when I was a little kid, I went to church every Sunday.

I don't go anymore.

I wouldn't normally point that out, but I want Married Off and Gum Cool.

So, like, but we had to go away in Sunday school and write a little profile about ourselves.

We're the kids at the church.

It was going to go on the wall.

Right.

And one was who your hero is.

All the other kids wrote Jesus.

I wrote Robin Williams.

Yeah, yeah.

Good choice.

Yeah.

It's either Jesus or Robin Williams.

Yeah, those are the options.

Yeah.

We've got two things to talk about here, right?

You seem to be in charge of Netflix now.

Oh, the damsel and the gentleman, yeah.

Damsel and the gentleman gave you the keys to the flicks.

I just think it happened that way because, you know, COVID and all that kind of stuff.

And then the strike in America.

Yeah.

So these two things kind of got drawn together, you know.

Very enjoyable jobs.

They're not a bad company to work for, you know.

Yeah.

I mean, it seems it, yeah.

I mean, you're allowed to get on with it and allowed to do what you want to do.

Pretty much like you guys in the studio.

Yes.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, Benito actually keeps us on the very he's very quiet and he's tightly yeah don't you are you italian mexican what are you

yeah yeah uh he's like the co-cult the quiet silent cold type yeah yes exactly you've you've immediately sussed him yeah

tell us a little bit about the gentleman so guy richie's involved in this he is yeah and you know what you're gonna get with guy i mean it's stylized it's it is what it is his action is a way you go and it's shocked beautifully i saw the first episode the other night which i'm not in

but I watched it and really, really enjoyed it.

Yeah, so it's based on the film?

I think so, yeah.

Yeah, I didn't, actually, I didn't see the film.

Did you not?

No, I didn't see it.

I watched it on the plane.

I watched it on the plane.

Did you?

Yeah, yeah.

Which ultimate compliment?

Did they cut all the swearing out on the plane?

Yeah, but I put it in myself.

I said it out loud.

Yeah, yeah.

I got you.

Yeah.

Unfortunately, you put the sex themes in as well.

So

I want the the authentic experience, Ray!

Can you talk about your character in the gentleman?

Yeah, it's kind of like

the boss, you know, he's in charge of the way things go.

You find this out as you go along.

I don't want to give too much away, but

he's the father of the young girl in it who's absolutely fantastic.

I mean, it's a good cast anyway.

And he's kind of pulling the strings, I guess, from inside his prison cell.

No one's casting you as anyone but the boss, right?

You're the boss.

It depends who's in the film, innit, really.

I mean, I'm getting to that age now where I'm not going to be the lead too much.

You know, I'm going to be the fill-in.

I'm going to be there just bringing a bit of, I don't know, gravitas

to the event.

You know, is that a nice point to be in your career?

I don't mind.

I've done it, you know, and it's some great kids out there coming through.

Some really talented people.

So, so I don't mind.

I've done, I've had my bit.

I've done it.

You know, enjoyed it.

And,

but I'm still here.

Yeah.

I feel like it when you're not the boss.

I like, like,

love.

I want to be a love.

You're not quite the boss in those.

Yeah.

There's people.

You have to push it along, though.

They get on your nerves a little bit.

They start fucking about.

So you have to keep going and keep going and pushing it and pushing it and pushing it, letting them have it.

Yeah.

And in Damsel, you're a lord.

You're Lord Bayford in Damsel.

Yeah, again, I'm playing the dad.

I'm a father.

Yeah.

You know, I'm a father to a princess or a young lady who's going to become a princess, yeah.

So

that's more of like a fantasy sort of...

Yeah, it's kind of a mixture of, you know, what old fairy stories were.

And I guess we've modernised it a bit.

I remember meeting Juan Carlos, the director.

I had a great chat.

I really liked this guy.

I know he's a good director.

Really good director.

And

had a chat with what it was going to be about.

I had no interest really of being in a fantasy kind of movie, you know.

It's not what I enjoyed doing.

But when I sat down and had a chat with this guy, then I started thinking about, you know, I've got grandsons now and I'll, you know,

they'd be great with him to see it rather than me punching someone.

I'm going to be in a fantasy guy.

They've got plenty of people.

Playing dragons and all that kind of stuff.

When they get older, they can watch you punch somebody.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But

this one's great.

And, you know, the costume department in it were incredible.

I mean, the armour I had to wear in it as a 66-year-old man was real armor.

And it was crazy.

I couldn't move.

I mean, if I was a knight in the old days, I'd definitely want to take the armour off to have a tear-up.

Because you actually can't move if you fall over you can't get up yeah so i had to carry this around for a couple and they they thought it was very funny

but uh yeah that was a tough bit of the filming but i'm gonna have to say it looks incredible it looks incredible and i think it's gonna be a quite special little film you know fantastic were you filming these quite close to each other or even at the same time no no uh damsel was done um i think it was during and just after COVID.

I remember flying out to Portugal.

I'd had a COVID test the night before and i was negative and we got to portugal had another test because you have to before you go and set and i was positive oh man i couldn't go and set for a week until it cleared you know and it was a swimming pool there and you know we had our barbecue going and i i felt great

and i just watched all the i've come on holiday you know it's like i haven't been out in a beautiful part of the world portugal you know obviously as well

I I know I've already mentioned sexy beasts, but you said you'd buy a swimming pool on the barbecue in hot weather.

The derby, just a derby hanging out, sweating and love.

You're not going to work?

Were they turning up every day going, we need you on the set?

And you're like, no, I can't come back.

No, no, they were telling me to stay there.

Yeah, yeah.

So I was there with my shorts on, with nice little shorts, laying around the pool.

And Joe would be at the barbecue, giving it loads.

He used to cook a nice pesta as well.

Yeah.

Yeah, and we'd do a nice chicken or something like that.

Sounds nice.

For a week.

Yeah.

It does sound.

You're there at the work, though, you know, you do a bit of craft i didn't mind the holiday it was fine i mean the rest it was fine yeah i mean already there the way you described the food on the barbecue yeah um we can tell that you're you appreciate food which is good for this podcast love a bit of mungie yeah yeah yeah yeah in fact it was very difficult to think of a proper dish you know that i really do enjoy because there's so many yeah from japanese all the way through i've been lucky because in the job that i do you travel and if you're lucky enough to you travel to places where not necessarily the tourists go.

You go to places where the locals go because that's where you're going to film, you know.

And that's when you find the real cooking and the real bits that you enjoy rather than going to somewhere where all the tourists are and you get a pizza and you get this and you get that.

You know,

I've been lucky enough to go to places where it's very diverse, isn't it?

You know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, let's see how that plays out throughout your menu.

Popsicles, sprinklers, a cool breeze.

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We always start with still a sparkling water.

Do you have a preference?

Sparkling, yeah.

Yeah, yeah,

straight away.

Yeah.

Always sparkling.

Yeah.

It's a bit more interesting, isn't it?

There's always something.

And you get a big half a lemon and squeeze it in there.

You got half a lemon squeezed in.

Yeah.

Bang.

If you're going to have a drink, have a proper drink.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, don't mess around.

You know, water's water.

That's all it is.

Yeah.

It's very good.

We need it to live.

Yeah.

But it's, you know, you can fancy it up a little bit.

Yeah, nice.

do you have a particular sparkling water that no you like no they're all the same believe me

you know some are more sparkling than others i know but yeah it's it's a load of cobblers really someone's getting a lot of money out of bottling water you know it should be free it's natural you know you sound like what i'm getting so far you trust people like like like the especially in i'm in south london i've got to be very careful over here yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

are there a lot of sort of sparkling water gangsters over there yeah millwall yeah

I didn't know Millwall had got into the sparkling water gangster.

They into everything.

Yeah, believe me.

I'm glad that you're squeezing the lemon in there as well.

Some people just put the lemon wedge in or something.

Depends how much lemon you like.

Yeah.

If you just want a little bit of an aroma going on, then you just drop it in.

But if you like a lot of lemon,

you've got to squeeze it in.

Especially with ice.

Yeah.

Are you doing the crushed ice?

I imagine you would, because you're talking

about that.

crushed ice is lovely, but it melts very quick.

Yeah.

With sparkling water, you want chunks.

Chunks.

Yeah.

Big chunky ice.

Yeah.

I agree with the squeezing the lemon one.

When people put a wedge in, or like if I have a gin and tonic or something and there's like a wedge of lime in there, some people just leave it to bob around.

It's not doing anything.

Well, I usually leave the lemon in there if I'm having a Vodkran coat or something like that.

Leave it in every time so I know how many I've had.

So when you're making another one, you put a fresh one.

You put a single one in and a fresh one in, and you know how many drinks you've had.

That is genius.

absolutely.

And then how many lemons would have to be in there for you to say, I'm not going to have another one?

Well, you can't get no more drinking.

Where's a glass of lemon?

Yeah, what is a big glass of lemon?

Pop-dubs or bread.

Pop-dubs or bread, right?

When you said pop-dubs or bread.

Oh,

depending on the bread and where you are.

In Italy, the bread's very good.

Here...

I don't know.

It sticks in my throat a little bit here.

So I like the sourdough and a little bit like that, you know?

But I don't want the crispy stuff.

It's all right.

Depending what you've got you're having a ruby you want a pompadon yeah yeah or an arm now yeah a ruby you come on you know that

that's entry level come on liven yourself up come on you know how long you lived in london it's worth it for the it's worth it for the response

i've been loaded for i don't know 14 years now where are you from originally catching in north african yeah just about that sums it up yeah basically yeah right got it you know ruby all right even i know i should calm down a bit

No, do not.

I want Maximum Winston the whole time.

So what would you have for your dream meal?

Are you going bread?

No, I think I'd go.

I know what my starter is, and I've got a kind of a middle starter as well.

Yeah.

Before I get to the main course, and I'm sticking very fishy today.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Usually I love a rib of beef.

Yeah.

I love a ribber beef.

And I like, as I said, Japanese food.

I mean, because when I walk away after having a Japanese meal, I never feel bloated.

That's good.

I feel good.

Yeah.

yeah, yeah.

But when I'm having something, when I'm either a especially in this country, yeah, so bread wouldn't be that I wouldn't have too much bread.

I'd have probably a little bit of something crispy, a little bit crispy and light, just to get me ready for the first first course.

Have some butter with it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I like a little bit of butter.

I was it's a bit bland, isn't it?

Yeah, or olive oil.

Oh, yeah, lovely.

Peel of olive oil in if you're having bread, sour bread as well.

I'll do it at home.

Olive oil, boom, boom, boom done

so i'll make my own olive oil i've got i've got olive trees in sicily so i'll bring my oil home yeah for the family and we just we use olive oil now more than we use butter it's just so much better for you you know yeah you make your own olive oil in sicily how long you've been doing that for uh about five or six years yeah amazing yeah it's very green as well yeah and really good for you you know do you like bottle it and label it up yeah for for the family yeah you know do you put a special label on it or anything like that my kids do it for me i'm not that fancy i just it's oil yeah

but they put on a little thing and all that yeah i think they've got ideas of grandeur of opening up an olive plant and

whoa hold up i'm just enjoying myself

yeah so i'm quite fascinated with this so you you decided like five years ago i'm gonna get some olive trees no i've got i've got a place out there because i live after a year out there and there was a few trees on the land anyway and then i started to tidy the place up because it was an old run-down run-down place.

And we started planting more trees.

And, you know,

the olive tree is an amazing tree because it doesn't matter.

This year, the weather was so diverse where we had no rain.

And we had, I mean, literally up to 54 degrees.

Wow.

It was getting, you know, so you think this year's crop's going to be absolute crap.

You're going to get nothing out of it.

And

it's probably the best oil we've had for.

Wow.

And that's down to the olive tree.

The olive tree looks after itself all you gotta do is give it a little trim now and then you know but basically it's an amazing tree and what you get off it i've got almonds there and pistachio you know so we we kind of this year we lost all our crops of tomatoes and things like that because because of the weather but usually we're really self-sufficient there you know you you're getting what you get and what you can't get you go down

the local supermarket you do that but it's all local stuff well and you're eating and i feel much better when i'm out there eating and what I do when I come home you know yeah it's crazy that sounds delicious sounds like you're living like you're in an Olivio advert

maybe

yeah that sounds good

for Olivio no I don't think so what if it was the same as the betting adverts so it's your head screen the betting adverts are wonderful I love those yeah but I'm not doing those anymore let's stop now I had 12 years of that 12 wonderful years yeah great company great people and actually you know looked after me paid me well so what if they approached you and said, we're going to do an Olivia advert.

It's going to be the same style as the Betting Adverts.

So it'll be like your head, screen, you know,

360 canvas.

Yeah.

But it'll be for that olive oil.

Yeah.

I'll do it.

Yeah.

Let's get into your dream menu proper, your dream starter.

Right.

Well, I've had to dig deep for this, but dressed crab.

Oh, nice.

I think dressed crab with a nice chunk of lemon on the side.

Yeah.

Seafood sauce.

All done beautifully there you can't beat it in fact once going back about 10 years ago i was in my local restaurant smith's which i've been going in all my life great seafood and everything and he done me in there and he don't even remember doing this for me but he'd done me in there he'd done me a crab dressed crab but he baked a cheddar cheese on the top of it and i've got to tell you it's incredible yeah dressed crab with baked cheddar cheese on the top is different class.

I like lobster, but crab when it's done properly is different gravy.

Gotta tell you you get like with the dressed crab, they sort of separate out the white and the brown meat, or is it all just

if you want to do that?

But I mean, the way it is, you just open that up and you put a load of cheddar cheese on top, put it in the oven or under the grill

all day long.

Different club, I gotta tell you, you gotta try it.

But he doesn't remember doing it for you.

When I said to him,

he said, I didn't do it.

I said,

He must have been drunker than me.

Yeah, but So they've not done it for you since?

No, I haven't asked for it since.

Yeah, you don't want to ruin that memory, man.

No, one off.

It was beautiful.

I mean, we don't get crab very often on this podcast.

No, we're not going to be able to do that.

Have a nice shout-out for crab.

And do you want that one that he made you that day as part of your dream?

No, I think just a plain dressed crab.

Yeah, plain.

Right, yeah, yeah.

It's simple.

Yeah.

To start you with and it's light and it just gets you in the flow, especially if you're having fish.

You can have it before a rib of beef.

It doesn't matter.

You know, but if you're going with a fish,

yeah, just proper.

Maybe a couple of cockles on the side.

We'll throw a couple of cockles on the side for sure.

And you get to squeeze lemon again.

Yeah.

Literally, just a lemon.

Got to squeeze a bit of lemon again.

There's a guy around Catman who used to just go around the pub selling cockles in the evening.

Yeah.

He'd wait until everyone was hammered.

Yeah.

So then you just go, yeah, I'll buy a bunch of cockles.

Wilts, cockles and wilts.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I bought them once.

Did you?

Yeah, yeah.

We used to call them like when we were kids, we used to call them the smelly man.

Yeah, mum, the smelly man's here.

Because he's being into the blurry coming around.

Yeah, everyone knew him as that.

He knew he smells.

He smelled the fish.

Yeah, because he knew it.

That was part of the game, isn't it?

Of course it was.

The smelly man.

And you would buy cockles off the smelly man?

I did it once.

Did it once.

I was like,

was you ill?

Is that why you didn't buy them again?

No, I was alright, actually.

Actually, I never saw him again.

So maybe that was it.

It was like, right, I've got him.

He took all your money and he went on all of them.

Yeah, yeah.

I overpay for him, I think.

That was great, though.

When you think of them days, though, you had all them characters coming around to pubs.

Pubs now ain't the same, aren't they?

They've changed.

The whole character of a pub has changed.

The whole reason you was there has changed.

You like to drink, but you mix with people and you converse, you know, and you have a laugh.

Yeah.

With different people from all over the world, you know.

But now it's different.

You're very different going in the pub.

Well, you probably can't go in a pub these days, can you?

I mean, surely like...

Why?

You'd be swamped.

They'll swarm murder.

They'll go Ray Winston's there.

No, I can't go in pubs where I live.

Yeah.

They're all used to me walking about.

I don't really care.

Yeah, but that's the thing you say that you used to be able to just like talk to loads of strangers and stuff at the pub.

You can't do that.

Yeah, but no, like I say, people don't talk to people anymore, really, do they?

What about in Sicily?

Do you, is there like...

Do you go and hang out in a bar in Sicily?

Yeah, there's bars and a clock tower.

You'll go up to a clock tower.

That's good.

It's a little town called Cenchana.

And it means tiny bells, I think it means.

And it's just the same faces you see all the time.

And I know all the families anyway,

the kids live near me in essex you know they're all people who've got greenhouses who sell cucumbers grow cucumbers tomatoes and all that sort of stuff but so i know their sons and i know their kids and you know now i know their mums and dads and uncles and that you know so it's just like being part of a family you know it's all right it reminds me very much of what london was when i was a kid you know you know you knew everyone in the street it sounds really corny i know and you're probably sick to death of hearing it but doors were open, you know, people, neighbours helped neighbours.

It was a different world.

And I kind of get that there.

You know, when my grandchildren come, they walk about the streets till two o'clock in the morning.

But you ain't a worry.

Everyone's watching.

Everyone looks after that kid, you know.

Used to be like that here.

Yeah.

It's not like it anymore.

I don't know our road.

Is it good like that?

Yeah, there's a WhatsApp group.

A WhatsApp group.

Oh, yeah.

We're all on the WhatsApp group.

And neighbours help neighbours.

There's been some parcel thieves.

Well, that's great.

Parcel thieves recently.

So a guy at the end of the row put out a baked parcel.

Oh, right.

Okay.

To quote him, he put 15 kgs of crap in a box.

And he's going to wait to see if they try and steal that.

So, you know, still.

Propagasa.

Still nice around London.

Yeah.

It's like a looney club.

I love it.

Okay.

Well, it's good weird.

Yeah.

Someone on my friend's WhatsApp group posted a photo going, whose cat is this?

It was my friend's cat.

Yeah.

And she was like, it was my cat.

But it was wearing a t-shirt in the photo.

And it wasn't wearing a t-shirt when it left my my house in the morning.

Someone put a t-shirt on their cat.

Well, that's very neighborly, isn't it?

Yeah, just their cats walking around wearing a t-shirt.

What sort of t-shirt was it?

What was

just a plain white t-shirt, but made for a cat?

Well, nothing on it, no writing on it.

Yeah, just a

cat t-shirt, plain white.

But the cat's just there, yeah, first time in its life wearing a t-shirt, all rigid, just walking around in it.

Someone's like, Oh, we're walking around, not upright,

okay,

dream main course, right?

Now, we know that.

Oh, well, no, I've got a little course.

I've got a little course in between the two.

If you don't mind, I don't mind at all.

Artichokes.

Lovely.

Right?

Now, you get an artichoke, and it's very good for you.

You know, once you've eaten that, it cleans you out inside.

It really looks up you.

So, what you do with an artichoke, you put it in the pan and you wash it.

Wash it for about, I don't know, 45 minutes or something like that, until you think they're clean.

Dry them off, get all the water out of them, give them a little bit damp.

Cut them in half.

And if they're the spiky ones, you cut the spikes off.

You don't want to be messing about with them.

Cut them in half, and then you put your olive oil on them.

So they sit in the pan, like with the half up, right?

So you don't want that.

Black pepper or white pepper and salt, plenty of salt, plenty of sally on them, right?

Yeah.

Bomb in the oven.

Burn them.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

Got to burn them.

Because your arts won't burn.

You eat them.

They're the governors.

Yeah, they are the governors.

Yeah, and they're very, very good for you.

Yeah, the trouble is, I eat too many of them because I just really like them, you know.

Yeah, and that's that pepper and salt and the olive oil and all that.

And that could be a bit dangerous the next day.

You can keep an eye on it.

You can be too cleaned out in the next day.

Oh, absolutely.

And in the wrong place, yeah.

You know, so you've got to be a bit careful with them.

But they're amazing.

So you've had the crab, which is nice and light.

You've had the artitote, which is also light, but it's doing you very, very, very good inside.

And then you're getting ready then.

Yeah.

And you've been eating a couple of cockles on the way through.

Don't forget.

Right.

And then you're getting ready.

Ain't we having no wine with this dinner?

If you want.

Yeah, nice.

But I know it's fish.

And people say you shouldn't have red wine with fish, which I think is a load of cobblers.

You drink what you like.

Yeah, I never stick to those rules.

No.

So you want a nice bottle of Nero Davila, which is kind of the grape that comes from the foot of Etna.

Right.

So it's nice nice and mineral, right?

Beautiful red wines, Planineta do them and all that kind of stuff.

Fantastic, fantastic wine.

So you've got to have a drop of red or a nice amaroni, which is from the north of Italy.

I like Italian wine.

Yeah.

It's good stuff, you know.

But I also do a Rose Planeta,

which is a good wine.

I'm not a white wine drinker, don't like it, gives me a headache.

But the Rose is very, very, very good.

So we've got our wine sorted.

Lovely.

Nice.

So that all three bottles of that are on on the table.

As many as you like.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

That's lovely.

Yeah.

Artichokes sound amazing.

I think once you realise that you can just season vegetables and grill them and they're delicious.

Absolutely.

You don't need nothing else.

It's so easy to go through a phase of just doing that all day.

Absolutely, yeah.

Yeah.

I do that with leeks and with aubergines and like it's just well because it's so geared up sicely for vegetables.

You find yourself eating less and less red meat.

I'm a red meat eater.

I love it.

But out there, there the vegetables are so good and it's like a pepper you pick a pepper up it's like eating an apple it's not like here when it's been on the in a fridge for about two months yeah you know this is unless you go to a farm shop or something and get it local here in sicily you pick up a a pepper and you crunch it and you go oh would you do that though do you walk around just eating a pepper like an apple well not all the time

you know if i want an apple i'll have an apple but you know it's that kind of it's that good yeah yeah really is yeah, a good pepper, it doesn't like it.

With the peppers and all, so you can throw them in a pan, yeah, yeah.

This is another little veggie dish, you just throw it in on a pan with loads of olive oil on it, parmigiani cheese all over it, put that in the oven for 25 minutes, and it burns the peppers down, and the parmigiani just kind of thickly melts over it, and you crunch on that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, I mean,

sound like Tony Soprano,

it would really get in my head if I walked into someone's house and they picked up a pepper and ate it like it was an apple.

Yeah.

I think that's a power.

No, it's just a power play, isn't it?

Because you're not expecting it.

No, I suppose it really would throw you, wouldn't it?

Yeah, if they just held eye contact and just bit while it was all pepper.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So your dream main course, we know it's going to be a fish.

It's going to go with all, yeah, all this wine to go with it.

And you've built up to it beautifully with the crown.

I'll fall out of check.

Yeah, Dover Soul.

Oh, lovely.

And do you know what?

I was in Sicily, I'm not a lover of Mediterranean fish.

I mean, I'll eat it and it's all right and all that.

But I like, I was brought up Atlantic fish, that cold water fish, you know.

And for certain months of the year in Sicily, you can get Dover Sol.

It's November, around that November time.

And I was in this restaurant called Lempada in Shaka.

And I see when they brought it out, they had Dover Sol.

I went, oh, Dover Sol, fantastic.

And And so I told him I liked it in the pan, you know, with butter, wine, bing, bing, bing, turn it over.

But I want it on the bone.

I don't want it all taken off the bone.

So you only get a little bit.

I like the whole fish, you know?

And he said, yes, easy, he's no, no problem,

so he's taken it away and he's brought it back, but it must have got lost in translation because what he's done, he's left the whole fish and he's cooked it.

how I've asked him, but he's put it in a tampura, right?

And I went, destroyed me because I was so looking looking forward to having the fish the way I looked asked for it, right?

And I'm not one who kicks up a fuss and all that.

Oh, well, that's what it is, you know.

And he's put his fish down.

I've looked at it.

It's a Dover Soul in Tampura.

Oh, fuck it.

You know, I've waited till November for Dover Soul, and this prick has cooked it with Tampura.

But anyway, okay, Mr.

Letter.

Yeah, thank you.

Very nice.

Thank you very much.

Right?

And it was the best thing I've ever eaten.

Wow.

It was so like a tampura.

I've never seen Dover Soul done in batter.

Yeah.

Or, you know, I've had place and it was just close and all that.

But this was done in a tampura.

And it was incredible the way the guy had cooked it.

You know.

And I'd gone from ordering something that I really wanted.

to get into something that he'd really fucked up

right to something that was incredible yeah and it was an incredible dish and i thought about all the stuff that I love.

I love beef and I love, you know,

the Japanese gear and Mexican.

I can eat anything, you know, ruby.

I love a ruby.

You know, it's the greatest thing in the world.

James?

Curry.

A curry.

Oh, Japan.

But this is got to be one of the best experiences I've ever had of eating a bit of Lillian gish.

Do you think it did get lost in translation or do you think he listened to everything you said, went back to the kitchen, went, I'm going to do it the way that I want to do it?

I think so.

Yeah.

I think that's exactly what happened and that's what good chefs do i suppose yeah because they're artists in a way and i think he knew it was so good the way he was going to do it and there was no right to think that anyway yeah so it was fine

and i think he quite enjoyed me having the yump about it

you could tell yeah yeah i think he was a bit a little bit stabby in the backyard but until i ate it and then i went he was watching me and i went yeah all right

that's the governor that is the governor

that does sound absolutely delicious yeah that sounds Like that thin batter where it's clearly like the fish is like steamed inside the batter.

Unbelievable what he's done, you know.

And that Atlantic sea taste for me is, I don't know, it's just different class to what you get.

The med is, because I wasn't brought up there, I suppose if you're brought up there, you're used to that kind of flavour, you know.

And it's, it's much, I don't know, it's more meatier.

their fish then again you'll eat a cod but there's something about the texture and the coldness even though you've cooked it you feel like the flavors there's more flavor there for me you know so yeah i i prefer a north atlantic kind of fish also i i quite like to uh just roll back a little bit because i think there was a moment earlier that we didn't uh really appreciate enough of is when you said uh bada bing earlier yeah and you looked you looked right at ed yes and um i think there's the nose that you looked right at ed and said bada bing and i'd like to just check in with ed how that felt because i imagine that was one of the best moments of your life it was fantastic wow well I'm pleased you liked it.

I loved it.

Oh, okay.

I knew that Ed would have enjoyed that.

Oh, wonderful.

I think James was jealous he didn't get a bada bing.

No, no, no.

He's rolled it back.

I'll do something else for you.

No, no, I don't need a bad.

I don't need a bada bing.

You looked at me and said, curry, old chap.

I enjoyed that.

Ed got the bada bing.

I got the bada bing, and I was very happy with the bada bing.

I was feeling very tony soprano.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

With you, I don't know what I was feeling.

Yeah, I mean, who knows?

character you were having to inhabit.

Here's a question that I'm going to make up on the spot.

Yeah.

Say they did a film where it was about a group of gangsters, but they're all from different pre-existing things.

So say Tony Soprano's in there.

Yeah.

And you get to be in the gang playing one of the gangsters you've played.

You can choose who.

Yeah.

Okay.

And then who else would you want in there?

Oh,

James Kedney.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Edward G.

Robinson.

Love it.

Oh, I'm just going to take a moment.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, Humphrey Bogart.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, hey, good, isn't it?

Yeah.

Against the super group.

Yeah.

Which one of yours?

Bob Oskins.

Oh, yeah.

Oscar.

Yeah.

Oskin's because I, you know, when I was like a little kid, I was watching him in fun roles.

Yeah.

Who famed Roger Rabbits?

Yeah, yeah, sure.

And that was.

Well, that's how diverse he was.

Yeah.

When I first saw him do Scary, I was like, I can't believe I was Scary.

Yeah, yeah.

He's proper scary.

Oh, you know, he is.

I've worked with him.

I loved him to death.

He was probably...

Bob Huskard and Robin Williams.

Well, I didn't meet Robin Williams.

I watched him.

Yeah, they just said both those things.

I've been around, kid.

Which one of your characters would win in a fight against all the rest of your characters?

Oh, that's a good question, isn't it?

That's a bit below the belt, isn't it?

Oh,

I don't know.

Who would win a fight?

Roy Rumble, all your characters are in the ring together.

Who's coming out on top?

Oh, God, I don't know.

I can't answer that.

Because I feel I was cheating on one of them.

Yeah, you love them all.

Yeah, no, not all of them.

I don't.

Um, you know, probably the guy from nil by mouth could he have been dirty.

Yeah, I mean, I know he's a bully and all that, but he was a horrible guy, you know.

A nil by mouth is the and you get the feeling even at the end of nil by mouth, he's going to go back and do the geezer when he's not looking.

You know, he's yeah, he's a bit slippery, isn't he?

We don't like him, no, we did not like that man.

No, he's a horrible man,

nasty, horrible man.

Yeah, there you go, I've got nasty old plants in the sex stretcher.

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dream side dish dream side yeah oh dream side dish for this

dream side dish is so many well if i'm keeping with the fish thing yeah on a side but see i would like cauliflower cheese oh nice with the dover soul i think that would go.

You know, don't need the potatoes.

So no chips involved.

Maybe a little bit of mesh.

Might have a little bit of mesh.

But definitely cauliflower cheese.

I like that you've got, because it's very, it's, as you keep saying, very light meal so far.

Yeah.

So you need that bit of richness.

Yeah, because you're going out after.

You're going out after?

Oh, yeah.

Without any show.

Where would you go to?

Oh, it depends where I was.

Yeah, yeah.

You've got to be careful.

It's dangerous out there.

Well, it's just a dream meal.

So

you can have the the meal wherever you want.

Well, maybe you want.

Maybe you just like to leave that there, feeling quite light, nice, and walk out onto a nice balcony where you're overlooking the sea because you've had seafood.

And sit down with your wife, you know, and sit there and have a nice glass of something.

Just have a little chat while she watch the moon go across the sky.

Lovely.

Man, that's beautiful.

I didn't know I was capable of that.

What a wonderful scene.

What would you be chatting to your wife about?

What are some of the best conversations?

That's private, of course.

You've got the cauliflower cheese.

Is there a particular cauliflower cheese that's the best place you've had it?

The best person who's made it for you when you go in the house?

They make it very good in Schmiff's in Onga.

I like cauliflower because when I have fish, I usually have a little bit of cauliflower cheese.

And everyone else goes, oh, dad, cauliflower cheese.

And they all want some.

Yeah.

So I make sure I get two of them.

Yeah.

You know, you order two.

That was you got one.

Yeah.

You know, it's always the way yeah

so you'd like me to uh bring up two cauliflower cheese for you for your drinks

because you know even though my wife would say you know oh i don't want cauliflower cheese she she will yeah yeah so you need it's like it's like when you're coming home from work late at night you know and you you i always phone up and say listen i'm going to pick something up on the way and we're going to get the chinese takeaway does anyone want anything there no no no no we've eaten okay all right fine As soon as I put the phone down, I know, I know, I order a little bit extra.

Yeah.

Keep out in another bag, right?

And you walk in, in, because when as soon as you've got your bit out, you've been at work all day, yeah.

Just want a little bit of, you know, and they want it.

Yeah, they want some.

Oh, dad, that looks like I'll have a bit of that.

I said, I'll give them the bag.

Here's the bag.

Because if they don't want it, I know I've got that for lunch the next morning.

Yeah, oh, nice.

Cold Chinese, you can't wear it.

Oh, yeah.

It's almost like you're just throwing it to the other side of the room to distract them, right?

That's what you could be talking to your wife about after the meal.

You just be like, I told you about it.

I'm not going there, but I told you.

It's private.

Your dream drink.

Now, you've got all the bottles of wine throughout the meal.

Yeah.

But do you have a drink that is your dream drink, your perfect drink?

No, I do drink because it's an easy drink and you don't get an hangover with it, I found.

It's a Vodka and Coke.

Yeah.

Funny enough.

Man, I was so hoping you'd say vodka and cranberry juice.

But

I was getting ready to say it.

I was going to say, what is it, your period?

Ah,

in the summer.

In the summer,

vodka and Fenta orange.

Yeah.

Or cranberry juice.

What is it?

Your period?

You've been funny?

Yeah.

Get this guy a cranberry juice.

That's from the departed friend.

Yeah, when that's there.

Yeah, yeah.

He doesn't know that.

Yeah.

Just

as long as it's the cardo.

But you want vodka coke.

Yeah, easy drink for me.

I love a Jameson's.

Yeah.

Like a nice Jameson's.

Drink too much of it, though, it hurts you.

So, you know, you kind of leave that out a little bit.

But I do like a Jameson's.

Yeah.

So for the vodka Coke, what

I don't know what to ask about that.

What you like?

Do you like ice?

Do you like ice with it?

Really?

Do you like ice with it?

Yes, I do.

I like loads of ice.

And crushed ice is very nice with it.

And a slice of lemon.

Lemon.

We're getting through the lights.

No, because it's too acidic.

He gets too acidy.

You just, that one you don't squeeze.

You just put it in.

And it's a

smell.

And sometimes it can smell a bit damp lemon have you noticed that in a drink sometimes in some places where they cut it up, yeah, they put that in your drink and the lemon smells damp.

No, you're sure the drink doesn't smell

the lemon

the dampest thing in the world, yeah, a drink, yeah.

I know, yeah, but it's obviously been laying about somewhere, innit?

The lemon, yeah, old puppy out, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is there a particular vodka that you like?

What's the one

I did, you know, great goose, Yes.

Although it's French, funny enough, is quite nice.

But then I get, I thought, it's taking a piss, aren't they?

I mean, it's for the bottle.

You're paying it with a bottle.

Yeah, there's a lot of good stuff.

So, you know,

vodka and Stolleneuer is quite good.

If you can have a vodka, have a Russian or a Czech one, I suppose, you know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, but the English started doing it.

My farm shop was selling English vodka.

And I have to say it was rather good.

It was very, very nice.

I was a bit Airy Enfield then, wasn't it?

You played a Russian character

in the MCU?

Yeah, yeah, I did, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it was a bit iffy.

No, you you, yeah, you, you had, look, all those other Russian people did what you said, so you must have been a little bit.

Well, I know, I had a bit of power going on about it, yeah.

It's funny because I shot that twice.

The first time I shot it, uh, I'd done it because you're playing kind of like this guy who actually grooms young women.

So I played him as a nonce, you know,

you know, this paedophile.

Yes, yes.

And they kind of didn't know.

I thought he was a bit heavy for.

I thought he was a little bit heavy for

the character.

So I had to go and shoot it all again.

Did you?

Yeah.

Did they call you up and go,

we've just watched it back and you've been too much of a paedophile in this?

Well, that was kind of getting to that kind of level.

Yeah, you know.

So we had to go and do it again.

It doesn't make sense with the characters.

No, no, no, no, it's done.

It's done.

You're there with the director, you play the part, you work it out, and then all of a sudden,

someone with a suit decides that, you know, it's got to do it another way.

Do you think he'll like often they resurrect characters in the MCU and stuff?

Do you think he's done for good?

Do you think he's in the middle?

I would have thought so, yeah.

I would have thought so, yeah.

He seemed to have died.

Yeah, I think so.

Yeah, looked like he did.

Yeah, in every possible way.

Yeah.

But then a multiverse version of him might come back.

Oh, you never know.

You never know.

Yeah.

That's the thing.

And it could be like Dallas, couldn't it?

You know, wake up in a shower or something.

Yeah, yeah.

Your dream dessert, please, man.

Creme brulee.

Yeah.

It's light, and it's again, it's light.

You don't get up on the table.

I mean, I love a sticky toffee pudding.

Love it to death.

If I'm going to get up and then lay on the setty, that's the one to have.

Yeah.

Or blackberry and apple crumble.

I had that yesterday.

It was fantastic.

I tell you.

With double cream on it.

Anyway, but if you're out and you're having something to eat and very light and it'd be a creme brulee.

You like cracking the top?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

That's not that little bit of toffee on it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cracking the top is such a joy.

Very, yeah.

I'll always crack the top.

But it's nice and light again, you know.

You don't get up from the table thinking, oh,

you know.

You don't, it's like it's still in glass.

Nowadays, there's loads of different flavour creme brulee as well.

Yeah.

But would you classic?

Class like you're going to.

The classic, yeah.

Yeah, the custard.

I mean, I've had it with raspberries and strawberries on top and all that, which is all very nice, but you're going to have it going to have the classic.

Yeah.

Just dance.

It's all caramelised.

I always find like with creme brulee, so I love a good creme brulee, but so many places don't do it very well.

Yeah.

So I'm trying to get a glimpse of other people's on different tables and see if they've got it.

But if they, if I haven't been able to catch a glimpse by the time I order dessert, I very rarely will order it blind.

You've got to listen for the creme.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Because sometimes if you get a bad one, if it comes in a really shallow dish,

I'm gutted.

Yeah.

Because I want a lot of the custard

I want a big crack at the top yeah and I want it to be really lushy

you should be able to you should just listen in the restaurant right and there should be cracks everywhere oh yeah if you're here yeah well the next time you're in there just say to the gee is the is the dish deep and has it got a big crack yeah yeah yeah and see what he comes back with beforehand you've got to say i've got a question about the creme brulee yes you can't say I've got a question.

Does it have a big crack?

Well, I don't know.

If it's a good one.

Well, you could try.

Yeah, you could try.

Give that a go first.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

No,

I get nervous.

I don't order it a lot of the time, even though I know it's good.

What is your favourite dish?

I mean, I could eat ice cream for the rest of my life.

What about the Japanese ice cream?

Yeah.

With a thick coat around it.

Oh, yeah.

Have you had the mango one?

Yeah, yeah, very good.

So good.

Oh, my Elaine Brothers.

The little mochi, the mochi.

You brought them over from somewhere like Iceland.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then these little, I said, said, where'd you get them from?

She went, Iceland.

I went, Iceland?

Yeah.

And now they've got coconut ones and mango.

Yeah.

The mango.

Delicious.

Little moons, I think, is the name of the company.

Yeah, they're amazing.

They're mochi like rice.

Fantastic.

Yeah, so good.

My local cinema, instead of having like an ice, you know, a Ben and Jerry's thing, I've got Little Moons.

Have they?

So it's just loads of different flavours of them, and you can pick and mix your own.

Oh, fantastic.

Yeah.

I'd have been me all day long.

Yeah.

You have one, don't you?

You empty the box.

I'll just do the box.

I just love them to death.

You could go to cinema.

Yeah.

Get a load of little moons and eat them while watching yourself.

You could do.

Every time you appear on screen, you eat a little.

Oh, there's no one.

Can you watch yourself back?

Some people can't, right?

I think it's all part and parcel of the learning curve, isn't it?

You know when you're good, you know when you're bad.

Yeah.

And

hopefully you know how to put that right if it goes wrong.

But, you know, once you've watched it, you've watched it.

It's done.

Yeah.

And maybe years and years down the road, you come home one night, you've been out, it's going to tell you, and there's a film with you in it.

And, oh, you watch it for 10 minutes and you end up watching it all, depending on how good it is.

You know, but you do, you know, that way.

But you don't sit down thinking, oh, right, I'm going to watch me in the film now.

Yeah.

That'd be a bit of a prat to do it.

Did you ever go to the cinema to watch me?

When they first come out, because that's the way you judge it.

They're made for film.

Yeah.

A bit different now.

You know, Netflix and all that are films being made for the TV.

But TVs now are like cinemas.

Yeah, they've got all the surround sound.

You've got the TV up there, which is widescreen and anamorphic.

And you go, you know, if you get really close to it, it's like being at the pictures, isn't it?

You know, how big your telly is, you know.

But it is like being at a cinema now.

You turn the lights down, you've got the sound going on.

You bucket a minimum there, and it's like being at the pictures, yeah.

Except you ain't got a queue.

Yeah.

Mind you, in my house sometimes, you have

is there a particular cinema you'd like to go?

because

not any

i'm transparent about why i'm asking this yeah the first thing i've filmed is going to be in the cinema soon i've never done anything like that before and i'm really looking forward to going and watching it in the ketrin odeon yeah where i used to watch films as a kid yeah so i think that will feel really special to watch it there rather than anywhere else yeah is there a place like that for you no because not many of them are left i mean i used to go every wednesday with my dad to the cinema he used to pick me up because he works in the fruit market and the meat markets and all that.

So he'd pick me up after work when I was coming out of school and we'd go to the the cinema every wednesday and once a month we'd go up the west end to see a film like zulu thomas a beckett or whatever the film was of the time you know and but them cinemas where i used to go when i was a kid they're not there anymore so you know even even when we moved out we moved out to north london because dad went into the fruit game and he had fruit shops and all that the cinemas that were in enfield were the florida and all that kind of so they're not there they're not cinemas anymore you know they'll have a um

co-ops or something like that they're all gone you know so so I've got no connection with cinema maybe the West End I have because when we used to come up we used to go to the one at Marble Arch or you'd go to the one at Leicester Square to see a film a new film but but really that's that's about it you know cinemas um I guess the nearest cinemas to me now are Harlow not in Sicily

no because the the the town itself had a little cinema yeah very much like cinema paradisio you know it was each town had had a little cinema but that's not there no more to To go to the cinema, you have to go to Shaka, which is 40 minutes away, or Agrigento.

So, only really the big towns have changed.

TV's changed it all, I guess.

You know, well, I'm gonna read your menu back to you now.

Okay, see how you feel about it.

You would like sparkling water with ice and a squeeze of lemon.

Very good.

You would like light crispy bread with your own olive oil.

You would like a dressed crab with lemon, seafood sauce, cockles.

And then after that, before the main, you would like burnt artichokes.

Main course, temperature sole from Lampara.

Side dish, two cauliflower cheeses from Smith's, maybe a bit of mash.

Drink, a vodka Coke with ice and a slice of lemon, which you won't drink, but we'll let you know how much you've had.

You also want the planeta, amarone, nero diavlo and planeta rose for the whole meal.

No, you want you want the Nero Diablo is planeta and also the rose.

Amarone is a different wine.

It comes from the north of the country

of Italy, which is that further up.

I think it's veneta that kind of way yeah up there uh near the dolomites and all that all around that way my son

that that that was trader benito that one

got one

we all got one yeah

please keep in earlier when you asked um ray to repeat the wine so that that has context

and dessert you would like ray ray creme brûlée oh yeah

yeah yeah perfecto that sounds great that sounds incredible yeah it does sound delicious would you like that would you like oh 100

yeah I'd absolutely.

I'd eat all of that.

I mean, the Dover Soul.

I'd see where else you get a good Dover Soul.

Scott's.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's a good place that.

I've not been.

But my favourite, favourite fish restaurant that I've been going to since I was a little kid is Smith's, you know,

yeah.

I've never been to Smith's.

Oh, you've got to go.

Same people owned it the whole time as well?

All the family, yeah.

Yeah, all the way through, yeah.

Has there ever been a scene where you've had to eat loads of food in it?

Yeah, I actually I'd done a film with John Maltovich.

Yeah.

And I was sitting in a place, Piscadia, I think it was in northern Italy.

And I had this, and I like truffle, you know?

Yeah.

I do like a bit of truffle.

And I like to eat this pesta in the scene with loads of, the scene was all this kind of truffle being, what's the name of it?

And after the eighth plate of

I don't think, I think I went off truffle for about a year.

About a year.

Yeah, but yeah, eating scenes, you learn as you go on.

You got to be careful when you're doing eating scenes, like in sexy beasts.

Yeah, sitting in the Dorchester, you know, waiting for him with Shane.

He's talking to me, and I'm eating a hearty breakfast.

He didn't get it right.

Don't keep fluffing your words.

I'm sure he was doing it on purpose.

I just kept eating

and eating.

The worst thing of full breakfast.

For most breakfast in the Dorchester.

Yeah.

Yeah, at least that's a Dorchester fact.

Thank you very much, Ray.

I've had a ball, boys.

Thanks very much.

And great memories of food.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it's good, you know.

Thank you so much, Ray.

Cheese.

Well, there we are.

What a treat to talk to Ray Winston.

Amazing.

Such a lot of eye contact went on there.

We each got a line said to us by Ray.

That was a lot of fun.

Yeah, about a bit.

No damsons from Ray either.

No, so it means we, I mean, I don't think we could have kicked him out of the restaurant, really.

No way.

I don't think we would have succeeded there.

No.

So, you know, I'm really glad.

Yes.

But they didn't come up at any point.

I was just enjoying talking to him.

So.

Yes.

I'm looking forward to seeing Damsel, which is out on March the 8th on Netflix.

And I'm looking forward to watching The Gentleman, which is also on Netflix and is on in March.

So that's next month if you're listening to this on the day it comes out.

I'm on tour, Hot Diggity Dog.

That starts in March as well.

Going all over the UK, popping over to Ireland as well.

Tickets, edgamble.co.uk.

And hey, why not, if you're looking for a podcast to to listen to after this, maybe something scripted.

Listen to Springleaf, wherever you get your podcast, 10 episodes when Undercover Cop plays his wire recordings for all to hear.

It's very, very good.

I vouch for it.

It's very funny.

Very silly, boy.

Very silly.

It's very, very silly.

Now, we've been sent some food.

We'd like to say thank you to those people who've sent us food because that's nice of them.

Yes.

We got some coffee.

I love coffee.

James loves coffee.

We always like to have coffee here in the off-menu studio for us and our guests.

Yes.

We've got coffee from Rising ground yes thank you very much for sending that and also coffee from origin coffee so thank you for that too delicious yes benito's just reminded me that i've been wearing my rising ground t-shirt and it's such a nice t-shirt i get compliments on it

and then and then people are like what is this clothing brand rising ground i'm like it's a coffee so you're you're a walking advert baby yeah yeah it's working you know talking of t-shirts i wear my prawn on the lawn t-shirt all the time james I love my prawn on the lawn.

I genuinely

really love my prawn on the lawn t-shirt and my prawn prawn on the lawn cap i don't know what prawn on the lawn is

it's a restaurant james in padstow in cornwall well i'll have to go there yeah because i i do love wearing the stuff like a very good brand everyone's always like huh because this little prawn is something like like a lawn chair raised in the glass and was always like ha ha what's this t-shirt i'm like prawn on the lawn

oh benito's just told us there's also a prawn on the lawn in london yeah well we've got to go we that that would have been awful if we got all the way to cornwall and then discovered discovered there's one in London as well.

We would have felt like fools.

You know, nice to have a trip away, though.

Yeah.

Always nice to have a trip away.

Beautiful part of the world.

Shout out to Molden Salt as well.

Yeah, I mean, that's very nice of them to send us stuff.

Considering probably every series, someone mentions Molden Salt on the podcast.

It gets a freebie shout-out.

Yeah, so thanks for sending all that.

Loads of different flavours of salt, etc.

And Dolston sodas.

I believe you had a Dolston soda just there, Jay.

One of the ginger ones, yeah.

It's very, very nice with some zesty lime in there as well.

I'm looking forward to, I think I'm gonna have the cherry one at some point even though i've already had that one i know i like it yeah but like you know sometimes you can't help it you just want to go back to the the stuff you know you know and love well thanks to all those people for sending us bits uh it always goes down well and um you know like i say the christmas party here always kicks off we've always got lots of bits there's always loads of bits and people can help themselves to the bits we look like we've put on a lovely spread what you never come no i don't want to thank you very much to ray for coming on the podcast thank you very much for listening we will see you again soon.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Hello, I'm Carrie Add.

I'm Sarah.

And we are the Weirdos Book Club podcast.

We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival.

The date is Thursday, 11th of September.

The time is 7pm.

And our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies.

Tickets from kingsplace.co.uk.

Single ladies is coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September.

At the London Podcast Festival.

The rumours are true.

Saturday, the 13th of September.

At King's Place.

Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet.