Ep 215: Paul Rudd

James, huge news from the world of off-menu and indeed the world of the world.

Yes.

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The show will be on Monday, the 16th of March.

It's going to be a tasting menu, a returning guest coming back, receiving the menu of another previous guest.

Those shows have been a lot of fun.

We cannot wait to do them live.

Who will we pull out of our little magic bag?

You'll have to come along on the 16th of March to find out.

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So if you miss out on the pre-sale, don't forget general sale is only two days later.

The day in between is for reflecting.

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Welcome to the Off Menu podcast, taking the back bacon of humor, frying it in the pan of the internet, using the oil of friendship, and then cutting off the rind of bad times and throwing it in the bin of the bin.

I guess we're cooking back bacon.

We're cooking back bacon.

And sometimes you've got to cut that rind off, James.

You've got to cut off the rind.

Try and be kind.

It's the last episode of series 10.

Whoa!

Time flies when you're doing a podcast.

That's Ed Gamble.

My name is James A.

Caster.

We own a dream restaurant together.

And every week we invite in a guest.

We ask them their favourite ever-starter main course dessert, side dish, and drink, not in that order.

And today, our guest is Paul rudd i got mildly distracted by uh uh you said today today

it sounded like you said today instead of today

normally i join in with the name of the guest and i would have loved to have joined in with that one because it's very it's a very exciting guest james it's paul rudd it's paul rudd today

yeah and today our guest is

here global treasure global treasure paul rudd um i mean you know we can't even begin to list all the things that he's done over the years that have captured everyone's hearts.

I wouldn't dare.

Everyone loves Paul Rudd.

And, you know, we're very excited to have him in the Dream Restaurant as well because for a long time on this podcast, there's been an ongoing,

well, I wouldn't say a mystery.

A long, long time.

It started with the Ashling B episode, which is a very early episode of this podcast.

Yeah, fucking series one.

Where Ashling had worked with Paul on a TV show and said that he does not like sauce.

He doesn't like any condiments of any sort.

And then it would come up every now and again with people

mentioned anyone who doesn't like sauce.

Yeah.

One of us would go, like Paul Rudd.

Paul Rudd doesn't like sauce.

But then Asma Khan of Darjeeling Express came on and said, hey, Paul Rudd came in and he likes sauce.

He likes sauce.

And then we find ourselves in a situation where James is currently working with Paul Rudd.

Yeah, as we speak.

James deliberately got himself a job working with Paul Rudd.

Had to.

So we could find out if Paul Rudd likes sauce.

Had to for the pod, man.

Had to get myself in there.

I'm not going to tell you what lengths I had to go to in order to get on this project.

I had to sabotage a lot of other people's careers in order to get my foot in the door, but it worked.

I was able to ask Paul over a series of...

I've met him a few times now.

We went to see Apple Voyage together.

Streaming, do you like Sauce over the top of Waterloo?

Yeah, yeah.

But over time, I've managed to get Paul to agree to come on the pod, and we're going to find out, hopefully, for the once and for all does he saucy or is he naughty is he saucy or is he naughty yes I guess that is the question I won't ask it exactly like that

on the episode I hope not I'm looking forward to meeting him I told him this podcast was good

Why the fuck do you do that?

I thought we'd pull it off.

That's not what you do.

That's not what you do when you book people.

You go, it's a piece of shit, but do you mind coming in?

I told him it was good.

Yeah.

I told him it's a good podcast.

But if you say saucy or naughty, is it walk out the door?

Is it shitty or is it naughty?

Oh, Jesus.

But listen, even though we're very excited to have Paul Rudd on.

Should we plug some of Paul's projects?

However, Ed, as always on the Off-Menu podcast, there's a secret ingredient.

Don't you tell me we're doing this to Paul Rudd, James.

The secret ingredient that we deem to be unacceptable if the guest says that they get kicked out of the dream restaurant.

And I am sad to say that we are...

having this rule even with Paul, even though I'd have to see Paul later on this week at work.

Yeah.

Kick him out the dream restaurant and then walk in and be like, hey, buddy, as if I didn't spit in his face the other day.

It better not happen before we find out if he's saucy or naughty.

That would be awful.

But this week, the secret ingredient is ants.

Well, come on.

Come on.

Was it not going to be ants?

Come on.

And look, we can't remember if we've had ants as a secret ingredient before.

Benito searched it in the off-menu database, but that's messed up in the past.

Yeah.

You know, but still.

We've eaten ants before together.

You and I ate ants in a kitchen, test kitchen.

In a tent's kitchen.

I guess that's why we haven't put ants on it before.

Yeah.

It's because we enjoyed those

in the test kitchen.

But now we've got it.

We've got fucking Ant-Man in the studio.

Ant-Man is here.

Ant-Man can't eat ants.

That would be awful.

They're his friends.

He can talk to them.

But what about when he's big?

No, but even then, it's like morally, that's messed up.

He talks to them.

Antony is his favorite ant who dies in the first one.

Spoilers.

Yeah, but I think he eats anthony what at the end no he doesn't that's not that's not

post credits film different film post credits yeah post credits yeah well listen brett goldstein plays anthony he's like yes father who gets eaten

spoilers there very excited to have paul rob

ant

oh i can't wait to speak to paul rob when we're on this sort of form oh we should say before you listen to the episode this was recorded before the strikes yes paul rudder ain't crossing no picket lines No way.

This was recorded way before the strikes.

Way before.

This is the off-menu menu of Paul Rudd.

Welcome, Paul, to the Dream Restaurant.

Oh, thanks.

It's great to be here.

Welcome, Paul Rudd, to the Dream Restaurant.

We've been expecting you for some time.

I'm really, really thrilled.

It's an honor to be here.

It's great to be sitting at this table with you without headphones, I might add.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's the dream restaurant, you know.

There's no headphones in dreams.

Yeah.

It's a peek behind the curtain for the listener.

This is the first they've heard that we don't wear headphones.

Well, I know.

By the way, I knew it when I said it.

And I always think that's fun to listen to something and learn a little bit about, you know, how the sausage is made.

Yeah, yeah.

So we never have headphones, which is why.

Why you never hear us respond to each other?

We're in different rooms.

Let me ask you this.

Do I take the jacket off?

Because, like, that sounds like a lot that sounds noisy to me ben over here is shaking ben has headphones yeah but he's got the headphones instantly but it's a i mean it looks like a nice jacket it's not it's warm no it's fine it's like uh it's you could buy it at like a deli that's how yeah yeah that's how good that jacket is

yeah yeah have you ever bought like a t-shirt from a deli when you eat somewhere and you're like i like that so much i'm gonna buy the merch oh yeah i went to uh actually just a couple of days ago i passed and this is i mean it's got to be a put-on.

It's a noodle bar.

And you've seen it here.

I probably, I guess I could say it's a please.

It's fat

fuck noodle bar.

Yes.

Yeah.

I don't know about that.

Yeah, really.

So

I thought, well, okay.

If it's intentional,

it's funny.

If it's not intentional, it's the greatest place

restaurant I've ever seen.

But I did pop my head in there to think, do you get a t-shirt?

Only because I knew that my son had seen that and he he said, oh man, I gotta get a shirt on that.

I gotta, he goes,

I didn't eat there, but I thought he was there.

If there were t-shirts, you'd go, it's intentional for sure.

Yeah.

But now there's not t-shirts, you don't know.

That's, and by the way, yeah, they scored points with me for not having any merch for sale.

Yeah.

And that made me think, maybe it really is a, you know.

Might be this.

How's it spelled?

P-H-U-C.

I think I know the place.

Is it like, it's in like West London?

Is it like Chelsea sort of way?

Yeah, I know the place.

They've got like a mural on the side of the building haven't they that says fat fat noodle bar yeah yeah so that i think they know they have well they didn't at first they definitely they do now i reckon one day of being open someone stuck their head around the door and went you guys know you guys know what your place is right

i've always loved uh you know stores and uh restaurants anything that has a really cute name yeah

like a really clever you know like a salon called the harem H-A-I-R-E-M.

And so I have a buddy of mine and we always take pictures of just and have for years.

Sometimes we won't even talk, but

a picture will show up and it'll just be a cute name of a

of a store that's, I mean, you know, hateable.

Yeah, I tend to not like,

like, I wouldn't ever wear the noodle bar shirt.

I don't like profanity on t-shirts.

I don't think it's clever.

And, you know, it's like,

I, I, I really have an aversion to it.

Yeah.

And I, like in New York, I live in New York and there's, you know, their t-shirts, like you walk down the street and it's just in some store and it just says, fuck you, you fucking fuck on a shirt.

And I'm like, who buys that?

And who would wear it?

And yeah, I feel bad enough even saying it on the, on the podcast.

What about if this episode goes out, fat fuck Noodlebar hears it

and goes, we should do t-shirts.

That'd be great.

And then they bring out t-shirts and say, fat fuck noodle bar with your face on it because you spoke about it on the podcast.

Yeah.

What would you do?

Would you?

Well, on the t-shirt, it's you, but you're wearing a t-shirt that says, fuck you, you fucking fuck on it.

Yeah, there's that as well.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Different layers.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Fuck you, you fucking fuck fat fuck noodle bar.

If they did that, I could only, I could never get litigious.

That's just too good.

That's it.

I'd be honored.

You'd have to leave it.

Yeah.

They don't even need noodle bar.

Just have a fat fuck.

Yeah.

Just your face with two thumbs up.

Yeah, do you think anyone's ever ever sued someone and asked for like a box of the t-shirts as well?

Yeah, that's and that's that's it.

That's what I'm suing for.

No, no, no, yeah, I just want a box of t-shirts.

I thought they would stop.

We're very excited to have you on the podcast because there's a long-running thing on the podcast that we need to settle with you.

Yeah, we're getting we're getting this out the way early doors.

Yeah, I think if we don't get it out the way early doors, everyone's just gonna they won't be able to think of anything else.

The listeners, listeners probably don't even remember us talking about fat fuck noodle bar because all they've been thinking about is whether or not paul likes sauce

yeah i'm i love that i'm here and we're gonna we're gonna get to the bottom of this yeah so for anyone who hasn't heard the previous episodes uh ashlynn b who was in a series with paul she said that during that filming paul refused any condiments he would not have any sauce any condiments on anything wet at all anything wet he only likes dry food it got brought up a few times in a few episodes

uh as a joke and then um asma khan came on the podcast uh who uh paul has been to Asma's restaurant, and we said, Did Paul have sauce when he was there?

Was it all dry food?

She said, No, I don't have a sauce, he loves sauce, so we don't know, yeah, everyone's confused.

This is the only person who can give us the answer.

This is basically a true crime podcast now, yeah.

Let's get

finally gotten to the bottom of this.

You're gonna throw, I'm here.

I'm putting all my cards on the table.

Yeah,

I like sauce,

I think sauces are great.

I grew, you know, I've kind of grew up in the in Kansas City from the age of 10 to 20.

And Kansas City is a huge barbecue place.

And so barbecue sauce, it's like people put it on everything.

I like it.

I like hot sauce.

I like it.

I mean, I like lots of sauces, but I loathe ketchup and mustard.

Right.

And by the way, it's come from.

Yeah, I don't like ketchup and mustard.

And mayonnaise, I just don't know what that is.

So I avoid it.

But see, this is where it gets a little weird.

I don't want to have a sandwich to put mayonnaise on it.

Yeah.

But coleslaw, which is made with mayonnaise, I'll eat it.

Right.

So I don't know.

Mayonnaise is the real gray area.

Yeah.

Mayonnaise is really, it is, yeah, it is.

And by the way, I've seen some mayonnaise that is gray

and that's why I'm just not going to touch it.

No, it's so, even the idea of it, I find repugnant.

So with, but you have coleslaw, so it's almost as if you don't trust yourself.

with how much mayonnaise you're supposed to put on.

Good point.

Yeah, yeah.

There are certain things that I think,

I'm going to force myself to eat this and like it.

When I was little, I think I liked three things, four things maybe.

And it was always embarrassing to go to somebody's house or go to a restaurant and somebody would serve something.

And I just like, oh, oh, no.

I would avoid going to people's houses for dinner.

You know, like, I just have to say, I can't deal because they're going to serve something.

I'm not going to like it.

When you were little, you're like, yeah.

How old's little?

Like 32.

I'd say probably like six, seven years old.

It's kind of amazing to be obviously like children don't like some foods and like say I only like these things, but also to have that self-awareness of like, I can't go over to someone's house.

I'm going to really,

I still have like these traumatic memories.

I went to a McDonald's or something with a friend of mine and his dad said, what do you want?

I said, a hamburger.

And my mom always ordered hamburgers for me and they would always just, she would order them plain.

And so I got a hamburger and it had ketchup and mustard and pickles on it.

And I'm like, oh, I don't like this.

And he said, well, you got to eat it.

I said,

can I get a different one?

Cause I don't want, I don't like the stuff on it.

And he's like, no, you got to eat.

That's what you wanted.

That's what I ordered.

That's what you're going to eat.

This is my, this is, by the way, was like my friend's dad.

Now, like, what a jerk.

And

I don't know.

Was he trying to teach me something?

He thinks I'm a son.

And so I had to,

I remember eating this burger, kind of crying like, like Coco from fame when she's covering her,

takes her shirt off.

And I'm eating this burger that I hate.

And then I remember I would sometimes go over to his house.

And the first thing I'd

I'd say, my mom said, I didn't have to eat anything I don't want to eat.

But up Leif, I'd go have dinner or something.

So he did.

It was really traumatic.

Yeah.

Awful.

Yeah.

You can see why you don't like ketchup now.

Well, I don't think that caused it, but it just never even occurred to me, I think, as a really little kid who loved and loves French fries or chips

to put anything with it because they're so perfect on their own.

So that cemented it by the sound of things.

That was.

But before that, they didn't like ketchup mustard.

No, no.

And mustard, you know, know, I think it would, like if it got on your finger or on a clay, I was like, the smell never goes away.

And I just think of a hot day and mustard on my shirt because I think I went to a football match and let somebody spill, like.

accidentally got mustard on my shirt.

Yeah.

And it was hot.

I'm like, oh, this sucks.

I want to go home.

I got to take this off.

And I like, I had a real kind of visceral reaction to it.

I went to college with a guy who had such an aversion.

His name was Walt Neidner.

That's his real name.

And

he hated the idea of ketchup and mustard mixed together on a plate.

And we would sit around and say, boy, imagine like if you had, you just squirt out some ketchup and, you know, and it makes that sound.

You sound like a paper plate and it's, and you're outside at like a picnic and then some mustard.

And he would just say, stop, stop.

And we could always make him throw up.

You could, just by imagining it.

Just by imagining it.

And so it became, I mean, we were vicious.

Cool.

The group, you know, all the time, just start talking about it.

And then it got to the point where it's like, so you have a paper plate.

You need to say must, like, he would then think about it and throw up.

So this for the paper plate.

Because obviously where I thought that was going was you, you were going to say you, you literally did it in front of him or you would get ketchup and mustard.

But all you needed to do to talk about it.

To make Nikolai.

His imagination did the rest.

He hated it.

I think he had a similar thing like at summer camp or something where it's like, oh,

something just grossed him out about it.

And so, but I get it.

I feel the same way.

Sounds like Neidner got it worse than you.

Like

when he was a kid.

Niedner.

Something happened.

Something happened.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So what was the catch?

So you didn't like must.

I understand the mustard on your finger, mustard on your shirt sticks forever, especially on a sunny day.

What was the ketchup?

Ketchup just seems just like sugary and tangy and nasty

to me.

Like I like a burger and I'll put like a cheeseburger onset, but I don't want ketchup on it.

You want it just as it is?

Yeah.

Well, I mean, still, it's like sometimes a burger will show up and then it's like, oh, I got to look under the bun what's on this thing.

And it'll be like, and so and the worst is when it's like a pinkish orange.

I think that's a thousand islands something or other.

Yeah.

It's like a mix of mayonnaise and ketchup and

some other nonsense I don't want.

I have to try and scrape it off and

a thousand islands.

Yeah.

Yeah.

For someone.

someone.

Thousand Island.

What is that?

What is that?

Do you know?

I think we've had this discussion on the podcast before, which no one knows.

No one knows.

No one knows what it is.

No one knows what it is.

I think it must be like ketchup and mayo mixed, right?

With a bit of spice in there.

There's definitely those two things in there.

I think maybe

beyond that, I have no idea.

I can honestly say I don't even know what it tastes like.

I've never had it.

I don't think you should.

I'm not going to start now.

How did Walt Needner feel about Thousand Island?

I never even asked.

On a paper plate.

I don't know.

Yeah.

I mean, I imagine if I asked, but I ate puke before I even got the question out.

If you want to like, because I don't know why Ashley Mozambique was so convinced.

No, no, no, no, no.

She was, by the way, because she's not totally wrong

in that, again, it took me a while

to kind of come around because I did like things

really dry.

And I would say it wasn't even until I loved salad.

Like I've always loved vegetables and salads, but I never even put salad dressing on a salad.

That's even weirder, by the way.

And then it wasn't until I think I was in high school or something that I thought, all right, I'll try it.

And I was like, all right, I can deal with this.

Yeah.

But

the idea of just dressing and sauces

for the first part of my life.

It was, it was, yeah, I kind of avoided it.

But now, yeah, hot sauce, anything at uh asthma's restaurant was delicious and you know i'll eat anything now yeah as long as it is ketchup as long as it isn't ketchup mustard what if it was for a scene what if you were acting in something let's say they were uh doing a remake of dumb and dumber and you were playing uh lloyd yeah and there's the scene where they have the uh the the hot chili peppers and they discover that classic and the ketchup and mustard onto their tongue right into his into his nose into his mouth yeah what if you had to do that scene from dumb and dumber and how do you feel about being cast as lloyd immediately with no hesitation well it's either lloyd or harry with the ketchup on the tongue and uh one of them's got fair hair one of them's got dark so that's that's what happened to you then yeah yeah it's my chiptooth

it's uh i well here's the thing i'm a i'm a professional yeah yeah i would do what i have to do for the work for the art uh but i would dread that day it's like oh god that scene's coming up next week and i might talk to the prop department or whoever is in hand you know, handles that stuff and think like, does like hot sauce work?

Does it look like ketchup?

You could do it almost like a raspberry coolie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's true.

Mando Coolie.

Yeah, Raspberry Coolie.

Yeah.

I mean, I probably prefer that.

No, yeah, you know what?

That's what I would do.

I think.

I think Terry was using the real stuff.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

I also think that you can tell.

Yeah.

Like there, you can tell that that was real ketchup and mustard.

And yeah, I don't think there's an

you got to do it.

I guess you just got to do it.

I've just done a photo shoot for my tour, my next tour, and I'm eating a hot dog in it, and I'm covered in ketchup and mustard.

Oh, my God.

And it's stank all day.

Yeah.

You can't get it off, yeah.

Yeah, you can smell it now, I guess.

Yeah.

You smell it.

You can be honest.

I had a job once where I used to glaze hams.

That was a real job.

And

I would work with ham all day.

I had to unload a truck in the morning and then I had to kind of slice the, like cut the fat off of it and put it in a slicer and then glaze it and I smelled like ham for four months until I quit that job yeah yeah so you're a little hamboy were you were you going to auditions during that time as well smelling like ham no no I was trying to get I was trying to make money because I knew I was going to move to go to an acting school so I had to try and save up but by the time you got to acting school you didn't smell of ham anymore was you you had enough

about two months later

the first the first uh two months of acting school it took a while to completely wash off.

It's good to stand out in auditions, though, right?

It's good to stick in their mind.

Yeah, it's like, oh, yeah.

Who is the guy who stunk it at hand?

Yeah.

Paul Stank.

And there's a friend of mine who used to call me Paul Ham Glazer.

Because I think there was like from Starsky and Hutch, there was an actor named Paul Michael Glazer.

And my friend Dave would always say, hey, it's Paul Ham Glazer.

One more question before we get into the menu proper.

Bob Mortimer

has been on this podcast and told a story that him and his son go to the cinema.

They always get hot dog and they'll put the ketchup and mustard on the hot dog.

And his son, who is a grown adult, allows Bob to mix the ketchup and mustard together on his hot dog with his finger.

He swells it through his son's on the top of the sausage and will just like swirl his finger around.

And then he goes, It's great to be alive, son, and then licks his finger at the end.

How would you, and more importantly, Walt Needner feel about that?

Walt Nieder would go to

a movie with him once.

Yeah, actually, Actually,

that's horrible.

He would touch his son's hot dog.

Yeah, so he does his.

By the way, which out of context is a very strange sentence to utter.

Yeah,

that's gross.

That's so just,

it's, yeah.

Yeah.

It would look good.

But it's his son, you know.

Same.

Yeah, still.

Same fingers, basically.

But they haven't touched the same stuff that day.

Yeah, that's true.

And you're also going into a movie theater, so God knows

what's been, you know, what's on those armrests and in those tape.

Like, that's also any cinema hot dog is that's gross anyway, because it's been on those hot rollers.

I think we're also burying the lead here.

Who goes to the cinema meets a hot dog?

It was his dream starter.

Yeah,

that was his dream starter.

Yeah.

Are you getting cinema hot dog?

Wow.

Well, that's that's I understand the nostalgia.

If that's, you know I get that, but wow.

There is I mean look a hot dog on a on a grill at a barbecue or a cookout or something is fantastic going to a sport like a baseball game or something.

I love hot dogs, but I don't put anything on them.

Yeah, you're having that dry, right?

Yeah, I mean, I could deal with relish and sauerkraut.

Onions I love.

Yeah.

It just anything else.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Could do it.

Yeah.

Although some people get chili dogs.

Oh, yeah.

I don't do that.

But But that looks like the wet.

That looks disgusting.

That really looks gross.

Also, it's like,

choose one.

Have some chili or have a hot dog.

But it just seems like it's going to be a mess.

Oh, it's fantastic.

It's good.

I love it.

There's a place in Washington, D.C.

that does amazing chili dogs.

And I went, I ordered two, ate them, and then ordered two more.

What's it called?

Ben's Chili Bowl, I think.

Ben's Chili Bowl.

Obama's been there.

There's a picture of him on the wall.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Good on him.

You know, to be fair, I do like both of those things.

I'm sure if I ate one, I could deal.

Yeah.

It just seems like a disaster waiting to happen in so many ways.

Yeah, it's very messy.

It's not walking food.

No, no, it's not really.

Sit down.

You got to sit down.

Yeah, you can't eat it on the run.

Bob would swell the chili with his finger in the sun.

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We always start the dream meal with still a sparkling water.

Still.

I'm going still.

Take a sip right now.

Take it to prove it.

Yeah.

Oh, and that's why.

It's perfect.

You don't need to mess with perfection.

I like sparkling water.

When I was having to train for the Ant-Man movie and I was on a very restrictive diet, my

reward was sparkling water.

Imagine.

That's how horrible that diet was.

It was like, oh, all right, I'm going to have some sparkling water now.

I've earned it.

And

trained, work out.

But so I was having a lot of sparkling water.

And I think, you know, they're not all created equally or equal.

I like Pellegrino is great.

I would choose that over a Perrier or something.

Straight to the Pellegrino.

Yeah,

I liked a soft, yeah, my cheat day.

Yeah.

Perrier on the cheat day.

It was a softer carbonation.

Uh-huh.

I guess because you were really little for that role, that was less scary if there's less bubbles.

Yeah.

Exactly.

That's a very restrictive diet if you've got to get down to that size.

It's really hard.

I mean, too much carbonation, I would have exploded at that size.

One bubble would take me out.

Did it feel like a treat?

Like, genuinely,

in your head, was it a treat by that point?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was great.

It wasn't flavored.

I wasn't going to go crazy.

Sure.

Yeah.

It was a treat.

And did you have to do that for every Ant-Man movie?

Or just the first movie?

Yeah, I kind of did it for all of them.

Yeah.

So did it get easier each time?

Once you're in it, it's actually not too hard.

And I think you guys can guess that I'm okay with having really boring food

every time over and over again because I would eat kind of this very similar things.

But

it wasn't too hard.

And then, you know, like you get into it and get into the groove of it.

And it's

feel good at like waking up with tons of energy.

It's the strangest sensation.

That was new

for me.

Yeah.

When you do something like an endgame or an infinity war, is that everyone's on that?

I mean, everyone's got to be on like strict diets and doing it.

Do you compare nights?

I don't know.

I mean, I think people kind of are.

But I would also, I think I worked harder than everyone.

I would eat better than everyone and I'd look worse than all of them.

I'd say, I have to, I'm like, I have to work out all the time, eat perfectly just to look kind of bad, like bad, not even like, like, you know.

Was everyone snapping at each other, though?

Is everyone hungry?

Like, everyone is just a bad thing.

No, I don't think, I mean, I think that they were, they, uh, I don't know.

I remember on Endgame just that Chris Hemsworth would always have these kind of Tupperware containers and he's eating this gruel of just a mash of stuff.

And then he's working out.

And, and then, you know, and you stand next to a guy like that, he's eating all the, and I just think, well, what's the point of any of of this?

Why am I killing myself when it's like that can exist?

And then I'd look at what I'm doing.

I'm like, and then this exists.

It's like you can't, I can never achieve that.

Also, you're in a full suit most of the time and tiny helmet.

Well, that was the good thing is that I guess like, Antman, not, you know, it isn't Thor.

Yeah.

But I tried to work out like Thor.

And,

I mean,

didn't, didn't you know didn't work question about end game okay there's one bit in the edit in the final battle where you're in the car sorting out your car

but it cuts back to the big battle and giant ant-man is there fighting right explain it uh

sorry paul basically no it's a look it's a quant it's a quantum realm there's lots of uh you know there are parallel universes there's different things happening i i know that there are people that are so so fascinated by this kind of thing that i they're listening to every word right now.

I think it's just a huge mistake.

Did the editors not catch it?

I mean, they work on it.

I'm sure there's a justification and they'll come up with one if they haven't already.

Or will they correct it in a re-release?

Or do you think they've even noticed?

I mean, the internet has noticed so much that surely they've noticed.

They kind of know everything.

They must know.

Yeah, they must know.

What's wrong now?

Because you and James are working together at the moment.

And obviously, these are the questions he's never going to ask you when you're just working.

So now we're in a recording.

All right, because now we're on.

Now you're getting all of the stuff that he wants to say to you all day long.

Actually, I think straight out the gate, I was asking these sorts of questions, wasn't I?

I think day one, I was going, you own a sweet shop, Paul.

Yeah.

Just straighten out.

I'm not going to pretend to Paul that I don't know about his life.

Paul's famous enough.

I know you own a sweet shop.

I'll just say it day one.

Yeah.

I like it.

I'm glad.

I'm glad you did.

Because it gave me an opportunity to talk about myself.

And I'll grab that any chance I can get.

No, but that's the fun, isn't it?

We were sitting actually around, we were working on Ghostbusters and then Dan Aykroyd was there.

It's like getting to

hear him talk about

how did the Blues brothers start?

And yeah,

it was pretty cool.

Pop lobs or bread.

Pop lobs or bread.

Pull that.

Pop lobs or bread.

Bread.

Bread.

Yeah, yeah.

Again, it's perfect.

It's a great thing.

When that bread is hot, they bring it out.

Yeah.

Like all kinds of bread.

I was going to say, so there's a specific type that you like?

Bagel with cream cheese.

That's bread.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's

perfect.

If you want to start your meal with a bagel with cream cheese, you can do that.

There's no rules here, is there?

There's no rules.

It's the dream recipe.

Also, I'm finding the cream cheese thing quite interesting with the sauce talk.

Are you?

I think that's like big mayonnaise.

It's got

a thicker consistency.

It seems as if cream cheese would be something that I would hate.

Yeah.

Like cottage cheese.

I'm not like I'm not a cottage cheese.

That's well who is and if you are what's wrong with you?

Yeah.

There's you got to really sit and think hard about what's important to you if you're eating cottage cheese.

No, cream cheese I've always loved.

Again, there's no real consistency here.

Yeah, yeah, but I care about consistency.

And I guess that's why I like cream cheese over cottage cheese.

Are you having a sesame bagel with the cream cheese?

I like an everything.

I like an everything bagel with cream cheese.

That's great.

I love a sesame bagel.

I like a poppy seed bagel.

I don't care if they're in my teeth after.

I like it all.

Now, New York, obviously, where you live, loads of great bagel places.

Yeah.

Spoil for choice, maybe?

Yeah, there are a lot of really, really great ones.

But I mean, even you can go and there's a place around the corner from where I live.

that does uh re they have incredible bagels i don't even remember the name of the place it's just like a like a little deli kind of thing yeah and then then there's a place across the street that makes croissants.

They opened after the pandemic and it's croissants.

And they do an everything croissant.

Oh, my God.

But the croissants, and they'll do a raspberry filled or a chocolate.

It's the, they're the best I've ever had.

They're incredible.

So now, I mean,

for the breadcrumbs,

you could have a croissant.

Oh, no, no, no.

I would choose the bagel over there.

But I also, like, if I'm in a restaurant, they bring out that hot basket, the basket of bread, and you pour the olive oil in the dish,

put a little salt in the olive oil, and sop up, you know, like sourdough or something.

That's, come on.

That's just.

I even need a meal.

I'm good with that.

Yeah.

Well, it's going to be a short podcast.

That's it.

That's my answer to everything.

Olive oil, salt.

Main sourdough bread.

Side bagel.

So what bread course do you want then?

We'll do a little basket.

Can we do a little basket?

So a little basket that's got sourdough.

Sourdough.

Bagel.

Bagel with cream cheese.

With cream cheese.

Or like one of those those pretzel breads have you ever seen those sure those are good you like the pretzel breads yeah i like you know there's um i think one of the great joys is when they put down the basket and then you take like one of the little uh rolls or something maybe one of those rolls has like some of that powdered white whatever on the top of it

enough to get on your fingers you know and and when you uh open it up and it's hot like you're expect you weren't expecting the heat yeah and then the you could put the butter on it starts to melt like that's that's my that's my bread.

That's your bread.

That's my that's what I'm choosing that you want powdered roll that you're not expecting to be hot.

It doesn't have to be powdered it could be like a like a sourdough kind of roll, but when it's when it's hot and you weren't expecting it,

that's I tell you I tell you when that feeling is increased by 10 when you're on a plane and they bring you a bread roll and it's hot.

Yeah.

And you're double not expecting it to be hot on a plane, are you?

No, but it blows my mind.

God, what airline are you flying?

Well,

I can't possibly say.

That is,

that is, I can only imagine.

It happens now and again, right?

Bonito knows.

Well, see, Ed has just got back from Australia and New Zealand.

So, Ed, I can't remember.

Now you're saying it, I'm like, I don't think that's ever happened to me on a flight, but I can't remember.

But clearly, it's happened to you very recently.

Yeah.

So you've always got it in your head as like,

oh, yeah, it's great when this happens.

They come around then.

Yeah.

And they are for that, and it's hot.

And you are psyched.

Yeah.

When they come around and say, more bread, do you go for the more you go more bread yeah of course yeah always more bread also never say no on a travel day that's my rule that's yeah it's a it's a standard thing isn't it it's like i'm on a plane i can eat yeah i'll go for it i'm in the sky i'm not on the air i'll take three rolls and i'm gonna order the ravioli yeah yeah do you ever think i'm gonna go with the vegetarian choice on an airplane versus the meat i yes sometimes because with it when it's like chicken you're like there's no way they're getting this right right so you may as well go with the i pretty much always go with the option.

Yeah.

Now, because I used to get so frustrated with the

meat option.

And most of the time, sitting near someone who had the veggie option, I'd see it and go, oh, I should have.

They've clearly got that right.

It's fine.

Like, I should have done that.

So now I do that and feel really smug that I did it and I thought of it in advance.

I feel very proud of myself.

I've noticed it recently.

I've been ordering the pasta more and more because I used to be like, oh, good.

Beef tenderloin.

Yeah.

But sometimes it's not that you don't think about it too

hard.

They don't ever go, how do you want that cooked?

Yeah, they never, yeah.

It's never

how would you like that?

Yeah, yeah.

It's not going to happen.

I met someone recently who was, nah, I'm going to,

I can't remember the full story.

I just kind of need to hear that, though.

Well, it's someone who has like a bunch of people.

That's the story.

He just met someone.

It's almost the worst steak ever.

They were telling me about that, but they listened to the podcast.

Yeah.

And they were saying that their dream, it might have just been like a listener who came up to me and said they listened to it.

And I said like dream main course to them.

And they were like, yeah, like a well-done steak.

I was like, fuck off.

Never listen to the podcast ever again.

Your dream starter, Paul.

Caesar salad.

Very traditional.

Yeah.

Nothing too fancy there, but it's, I think I will always go for a Caesar salad if it's there.

And I love it.

This could be the first time we've had this.

I think it might be.

Huge respect for it as well, because I love a a caesar sign oh they're you know they're not all caesars are created equal no that's from shakespeare isn't it that is yeah that was a coriolanus

that was yeah

and so i think that if you get that mixture just right or they'll do the table sign where they'll come over and they'll make it like it's it's that's nice yeah that's a nice thing so is there is there a specific place that does that that would be like i don't know i've i've never i don't go to that place

but i know i've heard it i've got i've i've heard it happens at places now and again.

Other people have been.

Ed's told you about it.

Yeah.

On his flight that he went on.

So he'd take the cable and did that.

You know, there's not a lot of room for them to do it, but it's really worth it.

Like another starter where they do come over that I love, which I think, just the guacamole and chips, and then they do the table-side guacamole where they'll make that.

Yeah.

That's good.

That might give a Caesar salad a run for its money, actually.

Oh, really?

So it's the table-side element that you're enjoying here.

I don't care what it is as long as you're making it next to me.

We can do that with all the courses.

This is the dream restaurant.

So they've bacon this bread next to you, obviously.

It's just, I like to know where.

Yeah, I like to know how it's prepared because I've seen some of those kitchens.

Yeah.

Especially on the airplanes.

Guacamole is also something discovered late in life.

Avocados in general.

I mean, that seemed, you know, when I was little, nobody was talking about avocados.

I didn't even think it was.

Yeah.

I didn't even know what one really looked like.

Yeah, sure.

And then.

All of a sudden, there were avocados.

And people were talking about avocados.

And I could, I like like salsa and I would always have salsa with the chips.

That's for you, Ashling.

And so,

but then all of a sudden, guacamole kind of entered the picture.

Yeah.

And it's, I mean, it's one of the great joys of my life, I'd say.

Yeah.

At this point.

But again, all guacamoles are not created equal.

No, they're not.

You can get some terrible onacomles.

You can get some horrible ones.

I don't like it when it's sour, creamy.

That's, by the way, that's another one I don't like.

I'm not, I don't want to deal with sour cream.

Yeah.

This love of cream cheese is really seeming odder and odder now.

I know.

It's the outlier.

Yeah.

Because, yeah, sour cream, again, don't really know, like mayonnaise, what it is.

Yeah.

It's got the word sour in it.

Clue is in the name of sour cream.

I don't know.

But that's just it.

I like cream.

I like sour things.

But I don't, there's something else.

Yeah.

It's, there's Thousand Island in it.

You're right.

I probably could have really.

deconstructed that and figured out the ingredients but um some guacamole's they they make it with that and it's like, ugh.

Do you like a chunky guac?

Or a smooth guac?

That was literally my next question.

Yeah.

No,

I like a chunky guac.

Yeah, yeah.

That's less like sauce.

That's it.

By the way, I'll go for a smooth guac too, but a chunky is like, I like chunky peanut butter.

I like chunky stuff.

Have you ever seen the guac that comes in the squeezy bottles?

Oh, like toothpaste?

Yeah.

Ugh.

You can just do like little strips of guac.

Don't know.

Don't treat it like a ketchup.

Some people don't like have a real aversion to just like sprinkling that on the top of the greasy.

Yeah, yeah.

And they put it in a guacamole and

it tastes like soap to some people.

Yeah, yeah.

A real strong aversion.

I don't mind it, but yeah, my wife hates it.

Yeah, I think it's a genetic thing.

It's a genuine genetic thing where like some people taste like soap and they just can't get over that.

It's like how some people can smell asparagus in their pea and some people can't.

Yeah.

I thought everyone could.

No.

Well, I smell it enough for everyone.

Yeah.

So you smell it, but I don't.

Do you know?

I think everyone

smells the asparagus in your pea.

No.

He can't smell the asparagus in my pea.

No, no, I'm not talking about mine.

I think we all smell it in yours.

This is what people have been whispering about on the scent.

Yeah.

Well, also, ginger, I think my wife has a bit of a super taster kind of thing.

And she's like, it tastes like lemon pledge to her.

It tastes like a cleaning solution.

Your wife says that about everything, though, doesn't she?

Yeah, but she does.

And to be fair, she hates eating lemon pledge.

So you go for the Caesar salad over the table side guac?

I want to talk more about Caesar salads, though.

Yeah.

Because there's a lot of, like you say, there's a lot of things that can go wrong.

There's a lot of elements.

What's in your dream, Caesar sad?

I'll ask one more guac question before we move on.

Please.

Do you think you like avocados because they're the opposite to you?

Because they age really quickly.

Yeah, that's exactly right.

It's the polar opposite.

Yeah.

It's the Dorian Gray

of.

Is it a vegetable?

Is it a fruit?

There's a

seed, yeah.

I think it's a pear, right?

It's a pear.

It's a pear.

Yeah, you have an avocado in the in the attic.

Yep,

exactly.

Just a shriveled-up brown avocado.

Again, that would be a great remake of that film.

Sorry, back to the Caesar salad.

I mean, do you even put an avocado in the Caesar salad?

I'd eat it.

I'd eat that one for sure.

Unlike, you know, a chili dog where it's like, make up your mind, I'd go for guacamole in my Caesar.

Yeah.

I don't care.

I like them both that way.

We can do that for you.

This is your dream meal.

No, actually, it sounds gross ass.

Good to be alive.

Yeah, so

what's going in this Caesar salad?

Oh, yeah.

That's right.

I mean, I like it pretty basic.

I don't love it when they put anchovies on top, but they're in the dressing anyway.

And it's fine.

I want that.

Yeah.

So some make it with raw eggs.

Others do not because of like my mom doesn't.

She doesn't make it, never made it with raw eggs.

I don't think.

I like a Caesar salad that isn't too fishy tasting.

And I don't like a lot of cheese on it.

I don't want there to be a lot of croutons but I can go with a few croutons I like just it's a classic and do you want like a soft-boiled egg on there as well no no no doesn't sound classic to me crispy bacon see they do them differently here I could do with crispy bacon on it yeah but I don't I don't really get any accoutrement

but it's soft

I don't I've never been a I love eggs but I've never been a fan of egg in a salad

you're looking at me like no I'm just I'm interested because I just think you like your simple things.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You don't want it too busy.

You don't want it.

No, no.

I understand the egg thing.

Like, I like an egg thing.

My favorite color as a kid was brown.

So it just really tells you a little bit of like, I like simple and not obvious choices.

Brown's a bit of everything.

Yeah.

Brown's everything mixed together.

That's the opposite.

But it's no kid's favorite color, is it?

No, that's not the first time I've heard that.

Yeah, it's cool.

No, I loved brown.

What's your favorite colour, Paul?

Brown.

Brown.

And I think it might have been that it was no one's favorite color.

I like that.

Yeah, that's good.

And I felt bad for brown.

But I also liked brown.

I thought you were saying you're like a rebellious kid, so you're like, yeah, brown.

You know what?

Yeah.

Just because you felt bad for brown.

I'll tell you one thing.

It was never blue.

Everyone loved blue.

Yeah.

Everyone's like, he always has, you know, blue.

I like blue.

Everyone was blue.

So I'm like, no, no, I'm not.

Blue's fine.

Yeah.

I like blue.

Okay.

But I like brown.

And then it's like, and green's okay.

I kind of like green.

And then, and then for a while, it was like, yeah, no, green's great.

I really like green.

You can tell brown's not a popular kid color because there wasn't a a turtle who had a brown mask and there wasn't a brown power ranger yeah yeah i've always been fairly simple i'll go with brown it sounds delicious

yeah yeah

how many croutons exactly do you want on this caesar salad um and what size exactly how many exactly how many and how big are i don't know i mean it's like uh it's interesting sometimes they get the really small ones but then you think were those in a bag and then you get the ones that are thick kind of like oh this might have been part they made this i like those yeah and when they're big like that that i don't want to have too many but i don't want to have too few

just right it's like the fairy the the you know yeah goldilocks three three little pigs imagine being a waiter and you're at the table and they're making the caesar salad table side and you're going and i want as many croutons as you think is just right yeah i'll uh i'll leave this one up to the chef

the guy's panicking so much

three little pigs was blew the house in i think i got my fairy tales mixed up three bears you were thinking of goldilocks

it.

The three little pigs, nothing was just fine.

I was out late last night.

So, classic hangover symptom.

Yeah.

Oh, one of a person has picked a Caesar salad on the podcast.

Dan Aykroyd.

Dan Aykroyd.

That is it.

Yeah, but

Dan Aykroyd picked everything.

Yeah, we wouldn't remember what Dan picked because he went for a thousand miles an hour.

But like, yeah.

But he named Caesar Salad.

So you can go into work this week and bring it up to Dan and go.

I'm going to, it's a, yeah.

Don't say you talked about it on the the off-menu podcast because I'm assured he has absolutely no memory of recording it whatsoever.

So

he doesn't know what that is.

Yeah.

But

part of it.

Well, here we go.

I love Dan Ackroyd.

And when I see him tomorrow, perhaps,

I'm going to say, you, me, pal, Caesar Salads.

So your dream main course.

My dream main course would be, and it's my mom's roast beef Yorkshire pudding and roast potatoes, the Sunday roast.

We're going back to your English roots.

It's my favorite.

It's if I was on death row, that's what I'm ordering.

Pretty sad.

Assuming.

I'm not sure.

Assuming.

Assuming.

They would say.

This is a very sad day for your mom.

Yeah.

Listen, that's what I'm ordering.

Unless, which I guess would mean I'm on death row at a fairly young age.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Your mom's got to make your last meal.

She's got to

have it.

It's like, mom, could you just,

I know I asked you to do everything.

Could you just make me the roast

Yorkshire pudding?

Yeah, that's that's she puts a key in everything.

Yeah.

It's too late, mom.

They're watching.

I can't get out.

There's no way.

Full loaded gun of the beef.

Yeah.

But you can't hide it in the Yorkshire.

That's everywhere.

Yeah, it's just that's too obvious.

Yeah.

So this is something you've had your whole life, I guess.

My whole life.

From a little kid.

Yeah.

And I think, and I think it's just it reminds me of growing up and you know and also growing up in the states it's like no one knew certainly no one knew what yorkshire pudding was yeah bliss uh and yeah you you hate yorkshire pudding yeah yeah did you know this already i had heard i haven't told i haven't told

i heard it i heard it on a podcast once you were talking about because i think maybe with richard e grant or something talking about

yeah and you how do you it's so by the way they're so bland man yeah Yeah.

That's probably why I liked them.

I don't want to put anything on them.

I don't eat grain.

I don't use them to soak up anything.

I just eat them.

Like, yeah.

They're brown.

They're my favorite color.

I had posters of them.

That's exactly right.

Nobody's favorite food is Yorkshire pudding.

I'm choosing that one.

It's the driest, brownest food around.

That's it.

Also, it makes people really angry when I say I don't like them.

So you really stick with it.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

No, that's fun to kind of.

But I think you're in the majority when you you love Yorkshire Podig.

Also, you know, it was such a, I didn't realize, you know, no one knew what this was.

But then growing up, I thought, oh, nobody here knows what this is.

No one makes it.

You can't go to any restaurant and find it.

And so whenever I'd come here

and it's like, oh, everyone here knows what this is.

How old were you when you moved to the States?

I was born there.

I lived there my whole life.

I thought you were.

Oh, but you're not.

No, but I, but I've been coming to London my whole life and most of my family's here.

And I'm the first American in my family.

So

yeah, so England and London in particular has always felt very much like home.

So I think that that was when I was back in the States and we'd have that.

It made me feel connected.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How many Yorkshire puddings are you having on the plate?

12.

12.

What size Yorkshire puddings are we thinking?

Because obviously you can get those giant ones that cover the whole plate.

Yeah.

No, that's, no, I don't know.

Like a muffin size, like a

standard kind of not too big.

Yeah.

That's another thing I remembered.

You say they take up too much real estate on the plate.

Yes, they do.

They take up too much real estate on the plate.

Yeah.

And where do you stand on that?

That opinion?

I think that I see what you're saying.

Yeah.

I get it.

Thank you.

But they're so light, you can rest them on top of something else.

Right.

I say.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So you're almost adding an extra flaw to the meal, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, there is a game called Triopoly

that is a three-level Monopoly game that you can play Monopoly.

It's great.

Monopoly.

Oh, yeah.

I immediately want to play it.

You lay on a square, you go up a level, and it's three boards stacked.

And the second board is smaller, so it doesn't cover the

properties on the lower board.

And then there's a third one on top, and you're going up your three levels of Monopoly.

That's how I like my Sunday rose.

I want rose potatoes on top of my roast beef, and then I want

pudding on the top to current.

I like it.

I want it to, yeah.

How are you eating that then?

Because do you go down layer by layer, or are you cutting away at the side, sort of

like Jenga?

And also, additional question: which property is each element of the food?

Which bit of food is Old Kent Road?

Which bit of the food is Park Lane?

Oh, right.

Which version of Monopoly you buy for a start.

Oh, God, I forgot.

You guys don't know the English Monopoly.

Oh, Kenro, is that a place where you get your potatoes?

People love Old

It's brown on the board.

On the board, it's the brown colours.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

What's an American monopoly then?

All right.

So it's all kind of Atlantic City and it's,

you know, Ventner Avenue.

And the two prime ones are Park Place and Boardwalk.

By the way, though, that's everyone saying, oh, I want to get that, but it's the most expensive and it's right by Go, but no one ever gets there.

You got to focus on the medium properties.

Where's Old Kent Road on the board?

That's like early doors.

That's early doors.

That's like the cheapest.

Oh, it's the cheapest yeah it's like right right out of

yeah you don't need you don't need all kind of road like you can go past that and get the properties right look if i land there i'm gonna buy it if it's available and i got the cash yeah but i'm gonna move forward and try and get the light blue spaces the blues and the oranges uh yeah yeah i'm assuming i don't know if the colors are the same but

it feels like the the colors should be the same how many people do you think we've lost up to now talking about i think people

yeah

fast forwarded to this but yeah it's like forget about all the sauces.

I want to hear his whole monopoly speech.

Monopoly man's listening, he's losing, yeah, UK versus US Monopoly, whatever the difference is.

And you still have chance and community chest?

Yes, yeah, still love those, yeah, absolutely.

I had a friend,

we went through a whole kind of monopoly phase, and whenever he would land on community chest, he would always just say, Mute

chest,

and it would always make me

make me laugh.

And so, now to this day, whenever I can't even say community chess, I just want to go mute

chess.

I like that friend.

Yeah.

It wasn't Walt, was it?

It wasn't Walt.

No, it was Bo.

It was my friend Bo.

Yeah.

One of the funniest guys.

I think a Monopoly board is too much like a paper plate.

He wouldn't be able to play.

I imagine.

He would look down.

Yeah.

And then he'd say, like, look at Kentucky Avenue.

It's red.

And look at Marvin Gardens.

It's yellow.

Imagine Kentucky Avenue and Marvin Gardens swirled together on a hot day playing monopoly.

Are you pizza on the meat ditty chest?

Okay, bye, buddy.

Mute.

So yeah, let's layer this up.

Okay.

Well, I like a lot of stuff on the plate.

I mean, you can't have too much because then it gets hard to cut into the meat and all of that.

Yeah, I'm going into the meat first, and then I usually save.

I don't, I eat things together.

You know, some people go like, oh, I finish all the potatoes and then I move on to, and they eat

dinner in kind of phases and I that is weird to me sure I'm I'm gonna just try and if it's stacked go into whatever is going to like Jenga keep the thing balanced I don't know what it'll be but so you yeah but you are getting a bit of Yorkshire you're not leaving the Yorkshire puddings or you're not eating all of them first because they're the top layer you're trying to get a bit of everything bit of everything I'll try and space it out you know I don't want to go it's like not it's you know Christmas morning.

I'm not going to go and open the biggest present first.

I want to like, I got to pace yourself, spread it out, and make this last longer.

It's very restrained of you.

It's the way I do with my food.

Restraint.

So you've got beef, Yorkshire puddings.

What else is on this plate?

Some kind of vegetable, I would say.

I mean, I like peas and

I like broccoli a lot.

I love Brussels sprouts.

Yeah.

Another thing that came around to me late in life.

Yeah.

Green beans.

I don't even asparagus.

It doesn't even matter.

I'd like a lot of vegetables.

You got to watch out for that asparagus, though, because you'll start smelling James's pests.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

And that's, that's, that's,

that's it.

In fact, if I'll eat it, I'll go back and say, gee, it smells like James.

It does sound delicious.

Yeah.

And stacking.

Thank you so much for stacking the Yorkshire's on top so they don't take up any real estate on the plate.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, I understand.

It could be construed as wasted space.

It's just really air.

Yeah.

And you're having air take up a third of your plate.

Yeah.

But now you've said that.

See, for too long, he's on this this podcast has said that real estate thing to people, and they've got no comeback.

And they go, We can put stuff in the Yorkshire, and he's like, No, no, no, but no one's gone, I can put the Yorkshire on something, so

yeah, it's not gonna weight it down, no, yeah, and you can always just like take it off and put it like just even on the table.

Like, it's fine, yeah,

it's fine, put it in the bed, yeah, and you put it in the bin

your dream side dish.

So, you got this big plate of roast dinner here.

Okay, here's, you know what?

Here we go.

Because there's roast potatoes on the plate.

But aside of fries, aside of chips, the thick cut, truly like great chips,

that's it.

That's what I'm going with.

Golden crispy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And obviously we know how you like them.

Dry as the desert.

That's exactly right.

I don't want to soil them with any sort of saucy nonsense.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you put vinegar on?

Like, Like, do you put vinegar on your chips?

That's a lot of people.

That's in a fishing chip shop.

In Canada, I'd go, I remember visiting my cousins and they're like, oh, you got to put vinegar on your chips when I was little.

I was like, what?

What?

And it's like, yeah, everybody does that.

In Canada, everybody puts vinegar on their chips.

From a chip shop.

Yeah, from a chip shop.

From a fish chip.

I'm going salt and vinegar every time and I'm really going heavy on the vinegar and I love it.

Yeah, by the way, I can handle that.

I like that.

I like vinegar on the chip.

That's that, that I can, that I can, I can rock with that but not on like not on fries or anything like that has specifically from a fish and chip shop yeah or like if i'm at a pub and i get the fish and chips at a pub i'll do it fish and chip by the way

also fish and chips from a pub that is one of the great all-time meals oh yeah ever yeah yeah your main courses seem to be very uh english based yeah well here you know i was thinking it i love the idea of oh like uh margarita and chips and guacamole and i love mexican food or I love sushi and I love Italian food.

I think, or, but these ideas of, oh, being outside and having a nice, light, just great meal.

And

I think

I'm more about dark, cold, and indoors.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think that's family brown.

That's brown.

I want to sit.

I want to, I want to.

I want to sit and have it like a potato and leek soup.

And then that's good stuff.

And then some kind of pub food.

And yeah, that's, I think that's...

Because pubs are quite brown a lot of the time as well.

I think you're browner than a pub.

Yeah, that's exactly right.

Well, wait till you hear what drink I want.

We didn't talk about gravy.

That didn't even come up, especially with all the sauce situation.

Yeah,

are you smothering this genger and gravy?

Yeah, I like gravy.

I don't have to smother it, though.

Okay.

Too much gravy, I think, gets in the way.

It makes everything a little too chilly dog.

It makes it a little too mature.

And so

I don't need to go crazy with the gravy.

And would you be dipping these side chips in the gravy at any point?

I'm not sure you know the answer.

What do you think?

I'm a Philistine?

I don't need to do that at all.

I mean, I could.

I might, you know.

sweep it on the plate.

Yeah.

But I don't need that.

I put salt on it, though.

You've already got the potatoes on the plate, right?

So you've got that sort of starch with the gravy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

It's just good to cover all these cross-border streams.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh.

Stain on brand.

Yes.

Whatever, whatever film Paul's doing.

That's it.

I can only think that way.

It's a little bit like I'm very much like Daniel Day-Lewis that way.

His face.

Yeah, because I can't shake it.

On-set.

We have to call him Grubison.

That's exactly right.

Gary Grubison.

Otherwise, he doesn't respond.

And then showing up six months before shooting, whittling a

Proton pack.

I'm trying to think if there's there's any funny on-set stories about Paul Buddha, not really.

He's just a nice guy.

Yeah, no one needs to hear that.

As bland as the food that I have.

How's Paul Budd?

He's like dry white toast.

Yeah.

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So your dream drink, is it brown?

It would be brown, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

It'd be a paniginnis.

Ah, very deep brown.

Yeah.

The deepest of brown.

I mean, yeah, you're right, because

it looks black in the glass.

But then if you really look, that's brown.

Yeah.

Almost red brown.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're absolutely right.

It's the nectar of the guards.

Yeah.

Huge respect for this.

Fantastic.

This was in the Ed Stream menu.

It was instead of water, though.

I didn't have it as my dream drink.

I had it instead of the water.

So he didn't choose Still Sparkling, you chose a Pine of Sparkling.

A Pine of Guinness over a still sparkling.

I think it's more hydrating than water.

It's good for you.

It is good for you.

People drink it off the marathons because it's got so many great nutrients.

You know,

after childbirth,

when my wife gave birth to our first child.

You had a pine of Guinness.

I had a pine of Guinness.

And I felt great.

I felt like I ran a marathon.

It's funny you should say.

Yeah, I gave her a pine of Guinness.

She had a pine of Guinness.

And my mom did the same thing.

She gave her a pine of Guinness.

She was smashed.

I was like, hon, come on.

We've got a baby.

You got to take care of it she's like woo i can't babe just a queue of people out the door yeah yeah yeah just dropping it is this uh who's the lady that likes guinness

do you want the uh the shamblock in the top of the guinness no i don't need any of that touristy garbage yeah no quite right no but it needs to be poured properly because people don't know how to pour guinness yeah yeah because there's a real there's a real way to do it

here's something that if you're in a pub and you see somebody pouring a guinness and they have to you you know, you take it up, you leave a little bit of space, and then you let it rest for,

I believe the optimum time is a minute, 19 and a half seconds.

I think there really is an optimum time.

And then instead of pulling the tap, you push the tap forward to finish it off.

Something about nitrogen release and that kind of thing.

And that's the way you do it.

Wow.

And people don't know that.

I mean, a lot of people, like, you could see people pouring Guinnesses in bars and you just think like this.

Yeah, they're doing it all in one.

a one.

You're like, come on.

Yeah.

You don't know until it's too late.

You've ordered the Guinness.

Are you ever there with your head in your hands?

Oh, fuck this.

And I'm like, all right, I'm going to have to grin and bear it.

I'm going to drink it.

I'm not going to send it back because that doesn't seem agreeable.

No.

Yeah.

You're right.

You can't send it back.

It would be, I mean, if you say,

I need you to pour me a new one, you didn't pour that right.

I can't think of like, I would feel like, I mean, I would never do that because I would feel like it's just a huge jerk.

But if somebody that was next to me said, you got to pour me, you didn't pour it right, I would say, that guy's my hero.

yeah yeah way to go yeah there are people who do that yeah but i would say that that is off limits to you now you can't do it no no i can't i can't no absolutely paul that's telling me to be pour the guinea yeah that's it yeah it's uh it's one of the downsides of fame i guess it's probably the biggest downside of fame i can't ask people to pour me a guinness the right way yeah

just have to pull up

thankfully i'm getting them free now anyway because i'm just

famous i would yeah i would respect the guy who did it who made them pour it again.

But then I would keep quiet about that and I would catch eyes with the member of bar stuff who may do it.

And I'd go like,

roll the eyes.

What a dwat.

What a douche, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I would feel bad for the bartender.

Yeah.

I feel bad for, yeah.

I feel bad for that.

Here's the thing.

I feel bad for everybody involved.

Yeah.

It's a real situation like that on our hands.

Do you have because people are obsessed with specific places being good for a pint of Guinness?

There are some pubs that are really, yeah, that are, they pour a really good pint.

It's an interesting thing that I learned because people when the states if they're going over to ireland they say oh you have to have the guinness there um it's better there they they make it differently and that's not true they don't make it differently in fact the guinness that you're drinking in the states or anywhere else it was made there but it's been sent over in kegs and when you're drinking it even though it's totally fine chances are it was made two months ago

and when you're in ireland chances are it was made two days ago yeah So that's why it tastes so good.

Yeah.

And like, I mean, is that what you'd like for your dream meal?

I'd like to be drinking.

I am in Ireland drinking it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

See, I mean, the Guinness, the first ever Guinness I had in Dublin was just mind-blowing.

Yeah.

Like, oh, this is completely different to anything else.

They look after the taps and the lines and all of that.

They have like Guinness Inspector.

Absolutely.

That's a really serious business.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And yeah, cleaning the lines and doing all of that and doing it the right way.

But yeah, people going in and checking.

I love it.

Well, there's also the brewmaster.

I remember one time years ago, I met the brewmaster at the Guinness storehouse in Dublin.

And he said, if you know, sometimes he's been in pubs and then the bartenders will get really nervous.

They know who he is.

It's like having a food critic show up.

And they're really making sure they're pouring it properly.

And yeah,

they're stressed out.

It's a real thing to go over and have all of that stuff inspected and checked out.

Yeah.

You met the brewmaster.

Were you nervous to meet the brewmaster?

I was not nervous, but I was excited.

And he's the one that told me about the minute and

19 and a half seconds.

And I poured one with him and he gave me a certificate that says I know how to pour properly.

I think they give it to everybody that shows up, but it didn't matter.

I felt like a cool kid in school.

You don't get the certificate.

You didn't pour it properly.

Imagine that.

Sorry, fails.

Yep.

No No certificate for you.

Yeah, yeah, you gotta earn it.

We take it seriously around here.

See you later.

You come back again.

You've got to wait three months before.

Yeah,

always got your provisional lines.

Yeah, you've got to go and do a theory test.

Yeah.

Where there's like a video of someone pouring Guinness, and you have to hit the screen when they do something wrong.

That's right.

No, you got to do it.

It's a six-month course.

And you really do.

Yeah, it's grueling.

And once you fail, you fail once, it's back to the end of the line.

And how was that Guinness that you poured yourself with the Brewmaster present under that supervision?

It was perfect.

So do you want that exact Guinness for your...

You want the Brewmaster supervised?

I'd like the Brewmaster to pour me one.

Oh, of course.

Of course.

Yeah, that Brewmaster will pour you off a lovely Guinness.

Yeah.

That's what they say.

If you were offered to play the Brewmaster in a film, would you do that?

I don't.

think I'd get cast in that part.

I think they'd have to go Irish

because they take it so seriously.

But if they said you can do the accent,

I'd say right.

And I'd say, say, okay, one, two, three.

Yes, I'll take it.

I'll do the part.

That's great.

Yeah, I would

love to do it.

And then I would go there and really do a lot of research.

Yep.

It's nice to know how quickly you take the part, though.

Yeah,

James gave no other details.

It was just like, we'd like you to play the brewmaster in a film.

Yeah.

And you've gone.

Yeah.

Oh, when do you guys start shooting, by the way?

Yeah, it's pretty, it's pretty soon who else is in it uh b obviously of course yeah yeah and uh all the all the gleesons are in it oh yeah yeah absolutely yeah all of the gleesons donal um brendan jackie yeah yeah they're all in it they're all in it and uh everyone else is irish joanna uh everyone else is irish yeah and it's about and i'm sure you're aware of this i'm sure you're aware of the history of it all but uh it's about the the the killing speed that the brewmaster went on

yeah no it's fun it's gonna it really kind of checks a lot of boxes

I get to do an Irish accent, I get to be a killer.

Yeah, yeah.

He would take people to the brink of death and then he'd wait one minute, 19 seconds,

and then he'd finish them off.

Yeah, and then he would actually take the knife and push it forward once it was buried in their chest and not back to let the gases from the heart expel in the right way.

And yeah, no, he took it really seriously.

Yeah, yeah.

He wonders why people get nervous when he's around.

You're a fucking murderer, man.

Yeah, yeah, it has nothing to do with like getting the pouring right now yeah that's the effort

we come to your dessert now which i'm excited about uh as you said earlier uh one of the first things i spoke to you about was that you owned a sweet shop i'm glad we're coming back to this because i don't think i knew this about the sweet shop paul yeah guess who paul owns the sweet shop with it's another actor i'm never gonna guess guess three guesses three guesses three names yeah yeah the person has three has three names oh i'm struggling now this is great.

Daniel Day-Lewis.

The best guessing gang we've ever done.

This is a good guessing game.

Sed's got to do it.

Do I have any other questions available to me?

Yeah, yeah, ask me.

Can I narrow it down like gender?

A man?

Yes.

Okay.

Because all I had was Chloe Grace Moretz.

It's the only name I had in my head.

She didn't want anything to do with the business.

Fair enough.

We went to her first.

You knew you wanted to open a sweet shop with someone with three names.

That's it.

That's the only requirement.

Oh, it's amazing how blank your head goes when you've got to think of someone with three names.

I'll just think of another question.

So we have man.

We have man.

Matt.

It's not enough.

It's not enough.

Yeah, man.

And you're three named a three-named man.

A three-named man.

Here we go.

Have you been in a film with them?

Yes,

but that's not going to be a giveaway because it was just a brief, a movie no one saw, and he was in it for like 10 seconds.

Right.

Are they older or younger than you?

Older.

Okay.

That won't help you either.

That has not helped at all i don't even know how old paul is famously

no one does

73 by the way

are they are they american yeah right okay that's not helped either really

i assume they were american to start with uh have they uh won an oscar no

no what his questions bad yeah well what questions would you ask I know what coaches I'd ask, I know who it is, so I know how to get to it real quick.

Go ahead, James.

Ask me some questions.

Are they mainly known for TV, would you say?

Yeah.

Is it?

That's quick.

Were they on

The Walking Dead?

Yes, they were.

Did they have a baseball bat?

Yeah.

The Walking Dead.

Yep.

Right.

Oh, okay.

Well, I didn't watch The Walking Dead, did I?

I think even if you had, I don't know if you would have to.

He's obsessed with The Walking Dead, so that's why he's so excited to do this guessing game.

Yeah.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

That's right.

Yeah, there you go.

Yeah.

There you go.

Yeah.

Yeah, we own a candy store together.

That's That's amazing.

What's the name of the candy store?

Samuel's Sweet Shop.

It's in the town of Rheinbeck, New York.

And

it was originally owned by a guy named Ira.

And Samuel was his uncle, whom he loved.

And he had this candy store.

And

he passed away unexpectedly.

And we knew Ira and we knew this store.

And it was like, it's a little tiny town.

And we wound up.

taking over to the store to kind of keep it going.

And it's really fun to have a candy store.

They make all the candy there and stuff no we don't make the candy there but we have chocolates and lots of uh and kind of baked like pastries and things that local people make oh nice and then there's a lot of kind of old-timey candy and things uh you know

candy from different parts of the world and um it's not a big place and then we also serve coffee so you're have you got a proper sweet tooth or yeah yeah i really do i mean I love candy.

That's one thing I've, I've always been pretty passionate about.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I like candy that is made for little kids.

I like that stuff.

Quite colorful, though, some of that candy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Is there any like at Samuel's sweet shop that your favorite, that's your favorite, your go-to when you go in there?

Well, my favorite thing is that it is a seasonal candy.

There were these sour Santas, and every Christmas we get them.

They look like little gummy bears almost.

They're Santas, Father Christmas.

And

they're just like a cherry, sour cherry kind of thing.

The consistency is perfect.

And the taste, it's like it's just,

it's incredible.

It's my favorite thing ever.

And I like it that it's seasonal.

It only comes out at Christmas.

So you get excited about it.

I do.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You can't have it all year.

No,

it would be.

It would be.

I would just also eat them all year.

And I don't want to be doing that.

And then, so there's that.

There are also these things that we have called clod hoppers that are like a chocolate, peanut butter, and pretzel mix.

Yeah, that's that's that's for me.

Yeah, they're they're insane.

They're great.

Those would be those are two of my favorite things.

How often are you just dropping into the store to be like, just checking in on pretty often.

I mean,

yeah,

pretty often.

Yeah, it's fun.

And it's, everyone's in a good mood when they go into a candy store.

It's nice.

And it's nice to be in there too because, yeah, people come in and kids will go in and they're just so excited to be in there.

And yeah, everyone's in a good mood.

You're just in the corner eating everything.

Yeah, I'm just going to keep megan away from them like the fucking he's bad news yeah megan's walking him out with his baseball bat back to barbed wire i know he's having a fun time in the candy store then you want to be careful yeah it's you he steer clear yeah sweetheart of a guy but if he's got that bat in his hands yeah yeah i laughed once because he i he was telling me i think i told you this where he would sometimes if he has to people want him to sign baseball bats all the time yeah and it's and like comic-cons and things like that they always present a a baseball bat and it's wrapped in barbed wire so he has to sign the narrow part of the bat and his name is jeffrey dean morton

it's like it's it's not easy to do a hundred times in a row so your dream dessert is not the sour santa it's the no

did you um buy the sweet shop before or after you played bobby sweetams

um

I think it was after.

Right.

It was after, maybe like right after.

Yeah.

Sweetams led to it.

Yes.

It was.

I know.

I mean,

you're still in character.

That was the problem.

And you know what's interesting is a movie that I did where I was talking about with Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

He's in it briefly.

He's a movie called They Came Together.

It's with Amy Poehler.

And it's kind of satirizes these romantic comedies.

And she owns a small sweet shop.

And I own, I'm coming in to build a big candy conglomerate.

Oh, wow.

A giant fact, like a super corporate candy store.

And, And, and, we, and, you know, we fall in love.

And she doesn't know that I'm the guy behind the evil candy business.

And that was before Sweetham's.

I can't escape the candy.

Yeah.

But this isn't candy.

Your dream.

My dream dessert?

No.

We could give you a little dish of Source Hunters on the side if you want.

Yeah, mainly because we want them.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

And some Clodhoppers.

Yeah.

Yeah.

By the way, I think the Clodhoppers would would go well because my dream dessert would be the perfect slice of cheesecake nice the perfect slice of cheesecake slice of cheesecake yeah talk us through how it's perfect it's light the crust is thick and kind of graham crackery but not too um it's kind of soft but not too soft and it's uh the difference between the crust and the cake itself it's it's the right consistency yeah in my mouth yeah uh you're absolutely goldilocks in this one again we've never had an episode where the word consistency has been said so many times.

Yeah, I guess.

Well, I'm consistent.

Yeah.

Here's the thing.

I'm textural.

Yeah.

You know, I'm thinking

this is also part of the whole thing with the ketchup and the sauces.

When I was really little, I used to like cucumbers.

I loved cucumbers, but the middle part freaked me out.

And so I'd have to cut out the seeds and I'd just go for the cumber.

I don't want the...

And the middle part wasn't done.

It was too larval stage.

And it wasn't done cooking.

And so you see the middle as the cue and the outside.

It's cumber.

It's all cumber on the outside.

And so it's like, oh, I can handle the cumber.

In fact, are you going to eat your cumbers?

I'll take those.

You can have my cue.

Yeah.

In fact, a plate of Q looks disgusting.

It's like the inside of a pumpkin.

And then, you know, I got over that.

Thankfully, I got over that.

And now I can eat the entire cucumber.

Yeah, yeah.

And love the cucumber.

I'm down with Q.

Yeah.

That also sounds bad out of context because

January 6th.

But the consistency, the thing of like, you know, it's like oysters or something.

I'm not, I'm not crazy about that.

Yeah.

So you want the nice, crispy, but not too crispy base.

Yeah.

And

a really like a, yeah, a rich, but, but a, uh,

I really, like a good cheesecake.

It could be really, it could be really high, like a, like, um, you know, like in New York, they do great ones.

Is this a baked cheesecake or like just like cream cheese and stuff and put it in the fridge?

I think it might be that.

That one.

Yeah.

Because if it's got the biscuity base.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Pretty creamy again.

And a cheesecake.

Weird, right?

Came to me later in life.

Came to me later in life.

I didn't like, I was like, as a kid, I wouldn't go near it just because it's called a cheesecake.

That sounds, that doesn't even sound like a dessert.

That just sounds, but I, if I have like a cup of black coffee and a cheesecake,

oh man.

We'll definitely give you a black coffee with it for your dream dessert.

Yeah, yeah.

That was like, it's kind of to have that together is really the problem is

if I'm getting a cheesecake, it's usually at a dinner and then I can't go with coffee because if I have coffee after five, I'm up all night.

And that's so, it's like, all right, I can do the decaf and I have and I will.

Yeah.

But now a lot of times it's like, I guess I'll take a mint tea.

That's not the same, is it?

It's not the cheesecake.

No, no, it's not.

It's really not.

And I'll go with the decaf coffee.

Well, I think it's a dream meal.

We can take away the bean up up all night.

Yeah.

I'm a genie.

No, I want a really strong, like a good, strong cup of black coffee and a cheesecake.

And I'm guessing, we haven't asked yet, but I'm guessing it's a vanilla cheesecake.

I know it's a standard flavor.

Some people put the raspberry coolie and all that stuff on.

I don't want any of that.

Especially as you might get it mixed up with ketchup.

I imagine.

That would be a disaster.

That, by the way,

the ultimate nightmare.

Ketchup on a cheesecake.

Oh, you know.

Geez.

It's going to make me throw up

in a second.

We don't want a a Walt Needer.

Oh, full Needner.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I go like a full Needner.

Walt Nieder was so funny that I remember one time in college, it was about three in the morning.

I was living in a house.

There were lots of different rooms and stuff.

There was a bunch of people in it.

No one was awake or anything.

I opened the door to Walt's room, and he was sitting, he was just sitting on the floor reading a book.

And he looked up at me, and his entire face was painted in Gene Simmons kissmaker.

And he had, you know, Walt was like kind of like a

little heavyset guy, had glasses.

I mean, he was like, he looked like his name.

Yeah,

yeah.

Walt Neidner.

And

he was the funniest, acerbic, smartest guy.

But he was wearing his kind of giant.

Roger Ebert-sized glasses.

And he had a short, kind of like just blonde hair, but he had also the little sprouted, like ponytail on top, like Gene Simmons.

But it was to benefit no one.

No one was awake.

No one was around.

And when I walked in, he just kind of looked up at me, no expression on his face, and I fell to the floor laughing.

This is my kind of guy.

Yeah.

Neidna, I love Nadna.

I love Nadna.

Get him on the pot as well.

Yeah.

Follow him.

He's being very entertaining.

Yeah.

I'll read your menu back to you now.

See how you feel about it.

All right.

You'd like still water.

Pop alums of bread, you would like a unexpectedly hot roll with butter.

Yeah.

Starter, Caesar salad with maybe with crispy bacon.

Not too fussed about that.

Not too fishy.

And the perfect amount of croutons up to the chef.

Yeah.

I love bacon.

If it was my dream, I don't need the bacon.

I'd go for the straight-up Caesar.

Get rid of it.

The simple Caesar.

Yeah.

Main course, triopoly of mum's roast beef.

So you've got your Yorkshire puddings, roast potatoes, green veg, and your gravy.

Side dish, thick-cut chips.

Drink a pint of Guinness poured by the brewmaster and dessert, the perfect slice of cheesecake, a black coffee, and afterwards some sour sanders and clod hoppers.

Can we get this now?

Yeah, yeah.

That's a great day right there.

That feels pretty good.

Yeah, it builds in the right way, I'd say.

Oh, good.

Fresh and then roast dinner, cheesecake, clod hoppers.

And then it's just like massive burnout at the end.

That's right.

Yeah.

And the Guinness will knock you out.

I mean, that's going to be, you're asleep by 8 p.m.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Also, because you had the susa salad and so did Dan Atcoyd.

Do you want to finish your meal the same way that he did with a sativa blunt?

Was that his dream dessert?

Yeah.

It was his dream dessert.

It was one of his dream desserts.

It's after everything.

The meal it was.

Sit around the fire with a sativa blunt.

Yeah.

That's, you know what?

That gives Sour Santa's a run for his money.

Although, wouldn't you want that to be your appetizer?

Because then a great meal just got even better.

Yeah, yeah, you go to Munch Town, yeah.

Again, out of context,

it's funny.

I was thinking back, and I am thinking back now, of great meals in my life that I have had and places that I've had them, and none of them made this podcast.

Yeah, it's weird, right?

Yeah, nostalgia wins out, I think, sometimes.

There's just something about, I think, comfort or that you know, I

had a huevos rancheros in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

They do a thing called Christmas, They give you red chilies and green chilies on Christmas.

And so I got this Huevos Rancheros, Christmas style.

And it was the most incredible, sounds amazing.

Incredible breakfast I'd ever had.

Wow.

And so it's not on the podcast, but it was so good.

I did want to mention it.

Honorable Munchin.

We call them Honorable Munchions.

Honorable Munchins.

Also, anytime Christmas is mentioned, you get excited because it's Sourasanta time.

Salasanta time.

That's right.

Yeah, you must have thought there was going to be some Sourasantas mixed in with those.

Yep.

The first time I met Paul was at a meal.

uh and uh could you be more specific about when you first met paul because it makes me laugh oh yeah we went to see how voyage

that's yeah yeah

yeah

what a great meal what a great first date

good fun thank you for thank you for that yeah and uh turned up and i think i sat next to you i think the first thing i said was do you like sauce i heard you don't like sauce immediately

It's nice to know that.

I haven't told you I don't like sauce.

I assumed you were behaving yourself on this job, but no.

I can't.

It's a weird thing.

I get it.

And you've been wondering for now a few years.

But now we know.

Now we know.

And we're so grateful.

Were you excited to know that you were going to get to find it and really get the answer?

Well, it was a thing of like, hopefully I'll be able to get the answer.

I hadn't met you before, so I didn't know.

I didn't know if I would go like, I heard you don't like sauce.

You'd go like, fuck off, man.

You know, I didn't know what kind of a guy you were.

Who have you heard that from?

To be fair.

She could go, fucking sauce.

I think if Paul would said something like that, you would have heard that Paul had a rep already.

Someone would have already told me.

So I was excited to get to the bottom of it.

I thought, oh, maybe if there's time in the schedule, we can do a podcast episode and the listeners can find out.

But if not, I could just, you know, snitch on him on the podcast myself.

But, but yeah, I was very excited to learn the answer to it all because, yeah, we didn't know.

I mean, I mean,

I'm very excited that we finally answered a question of the podcast.

I think it sums it up, really.

Like, it's not a yes or no answer.

Life's complicated.

Life's complicated.

Yeah, exactly.

Not all things are black and white.

And

they're brown.

They're brown.

My favorite sauce color.

I went to the other voyage and afterwards said to Paul, what did you think of that?

He said, brilliant.

And we're all going to die.

Yeah, I found it to be equal parts.

Yeah.

I get it.

Incredible.

and unsettling.

And yeah, and I watched that entire thing, and that entire show and thought oh yeah no this is this is the beginning yeah it's the end of the actually the beginning of the end happened a while ago um but this is just further uh proof that um yeah we're all getting phased out yeah it's mad that abba is part of that realization that it's the end of humanity yeah yeah it's kidding in a way like when those robot army dogs came out those videos i was like well that makes sense this feels like a film yeah but now it's holograms of abba oh my god yeah i can't believe this is part of his part of the end of human history and then it it was a kind of a fascinating case study because the song would end and the place would go crazy and applaud and you would think you're at a concert.

And I just thought they're all applauding this band that has, they can't, they're applauding a movie.

They don't know you're appreciating what they just did.

Yeah.

It was weird.

I thought the whole thing was super weird.

Whenever they would give speeches, the band members would give speeches.

That was the weird.

When they were kind of like,

because obviously it's all pre-programmed in and one of them's talking at one point, says something, goes, oh, i heard a bit of a sarcastic laugh over here yeah carries on it's like what the

oh bjorn yeah

well it seems like a sad note to end the podcast on that it's the end of humanity but there we go there you go well i mean look we're gonna all look we're all gonna eat great meals as we're uh you know taking that last dip in the pool and uh and it we can only celebrate we can celebrate the music of abba we can celebrate fine meals and friendship and laughter.

And to the listener, Paul Rudd has never been here.

That was AI.

The whole thing was AI.

I hope it was all about

him here.

Exactly right.

And now for Waterloo.

Waterloo.

Thank you so much for coming to the dream restaurant, Paul.

Thank you.

There we are, the off-menu menu of Paul Rudd.

Mystery solved.

Mystery solved.

He's saucy and knotty.

Yeah.

He does like sauce, but he doesn't like ketchup, mustard, or mayonnaise.

Done.

And he didn't put ants on his menu, which was a relief.

So we didn't have to kick him out.

We appreciate that, Paul.

Thank you very much.

And yo, what a lovely way to end series 10.

Thank you so much to Paul Rudd for coming into the Dream Restaurant.

We'll be back soon with another guest.

I imagine in exactly a week's time from when this has been released.

Or next series.

Next series.

Don't forget to grab a copy of my book, Glutton, The The Multi-Course Life of a Very Greedy Boy.

And make sure you go and watch the new Ghostbusters film starring me and also Paul Rudd.

It's called Ghostbusters, James Boocaster.

Boo, kids.

Don't be scared.

Bye.

Oh, man.

I'm getting fired from that film.

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Hello, I'm Carrie Add.

I'm Sarah.

And we are the Weirdos Book Club Podcast.

We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival.

The date is Thursday, 11th of September.

The time is 7pm.

And our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies.

Tickets from kingsplace.co.uk.

Single ladies is coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September.

At the London Podcast Festival.

The rumours are true.

Saturday, the 13th of September.

At King's Place.

Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet.