Ep 119: Jamie Oliver

James, huge news from the world of off-menu and indeed the world of the world.

Yes.

Ever heard of the Royal Albert Hall?

I have.

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And guess what?

We're doing more live shows there next year.

Sure, a lot of them are sold out already.

But we thought, hey, throw these guys a bone.

Let's put on one final Royal Albert Hall show in that run.

The show will be on Monday, the 16th of March.

It's going to be a tasting menu, a returning guest coming back, receiving the menu of another previous guest.

Those shows have been a lot of fun.

We cannot wait to do them live.

Who will we pull out of our little magic bag?

You'll have to come along on the 16th of March to find out.

If I'm correct in thinking, presale tickets go on pre-sale on the 10th of September.

Pre-sale tickets are 10th of September at 10 a.m.

And then the general sale is 12th of September at 10 a.m.

So if you miss out on the pre-sale, don't forget general sale is only two days later.

The day in between is for reflecting.

Get your tickets from royalalberthall.com Hall.com or offmenupodcast.co.uk.

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Welcome to the Off Menu Podcast, kneading the dough of conversation, sprinkling in the chocolate chips of humor, rolling out with the rolling pin of great guys,

and using the biscuit cutter of fantastic, wonderful friends,

baking in the oven of nice

fun,

and having a cookie of a podcast.

I'm not gonna lie.

The best one I've ever done.

Yeah, flawless.

Can't, can't, can't

pick out anything wrong with that.

Nope.

Nope.

I gave myself too many elements there.

Yep.

I thought at the beginning you were going to do like a pana shokala.

I thought that was where we were going.

You were making a pana shocala and I was like, oh, is he going to say podo castella?

Okay, you can't come for me and then that's what you've got as a backup.

I think that's pretty good.

Podo Castella.

Yeah, like a pad of shokala.

Absolutely.

Panashokala, but it's a podcast.

You're not a punster, are you?

Podo shokala.

Tim vine did say that.

Podcola.

Podo shoka.

Tom Tim Vine did say that.

Tom Vine.

Tom Vine.

That's a pun on Tim Vine.

Tom Vine.

Short for Tomato Vine.

Yep.

Yeah.

That's good.

Tomato on the Vine.

Let's just agree to disagree.

We're both great comedians.

Poda Castellar.

Podder Castellar, the cookie cutter of Great Fun Friends.

Yeah, we've done pretty well there on the Off-Menu podcast with Ed Gamble and James Ancaster, where we invite a celebrity guest into the dream restaurant and ask them their favourite ever start and main course dessert, side dish, and drink.

Not in that order.

And this week, our guest is

Jamie Oliver.

Oliver.

Jamie Oliver legendary chef I mean

you know he's done so much I throw the term national treasure around a bit on this podcast yes sue me I'm gonna say Jamie Oliver's a national treasure he is I watched Naked Chef as a teenager it was the most comforting show on TV and I think he has maintained that vibe throughout his career.

I find a lot of the Jamie Oliver shows and the cookbooks quite comforting.

They're warm, Ed.

They're warm.

They are warm.

And he's got a new book, James, which I'm very excited about.

It's called Jamie Oliver Together, and it is out now.

It's just come out.

We're getting the hot exclusive on this.

And they're like full meals in their starter Menkel's dessert, just like this pod.

He's telling you, if you have your friends around for dinner, and these are the courses you can make for everyone.

Those are cocktails at the back as well.

And it's true, actually.

I've just realised that.

He's gone with the off-menu format of starter

dessert.

We're suing him.

I'll read maybe in the back.

He says, shout out to the off-menu podcast for coming up with the starter main and dessert format.

Yes, so we're going to sue him.

Yes.

See you in court, Jamie.

And we're in a good place to start the legal proceedings because we're in Jamie Oliver HQ today to interview Jamie.

We are.

He's welcomed us into his HQ even though we're about to slap him with a subpoena.

Is that right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And we're going to get him with a subpoena when he comes in here.

But like, we're in like a room that's like half of it is a kitchen that is made for filming and the rest of it is a studio.

But downstairs is a big open plan kitchen.

People cooking food.

There's offices of people testing out food trucks.

It's a very exciting place to be.

Yeah, it feels like I'm, Joe, what

I'm in the hub.

Yeah.

That's what I feel like.

I'm in the hub here.

And it's going to be very awkward when we have to kick Jamie Oliver out of his own hub.

Yes.

If he says the secret ingredient.

That would be a massive shame.

We feel pretty bad about it, but I think we're pretty safe this week.

And maybe people will be annoyed that we're about to choose this as a secret ingredient because it's always an ingredient that we don't like.

And if they choose it, we kick them out.

But heaven will know that there's no way Jamie Oliver's going to choose this one because he's gone on record saying he he doesn't like it himself.

Secret ingredient this week is

Twizzlers.

Turkey Twizzlers.

Okay, come on, get off our back, guys.

Of course,

very much the figurehead for the bad school dinners that Jamie took a stand against all those years ago.

Yeah, and good on him.

Good on him.

Good on him.

He had the health of the nation's youth.

And guess what?

When I was a little boy, I loved turkey twizzlers.

Yeah, I bet you did.

I bet you put a big pile of turkey twizzlers.

You called it meat spaghetti.

Did you?

Put them all together, meat spaghetti.

Slurp it up.

Spaghetti and meatballs.

I put one in my mouth and I go around to the girls and I say, suck the other end.

We'll lady in the tramp with a turkey Twizzler.

Did you say that while you had the turkey Twizzler in your mouth?

Yeah.

Yeah.

The thing is about that, I don't know if you're joking or not.

I don't know if you're making that up.

Yeah, I went to a boys' school.

Oh, yeah.

Sorry, you said it to the boys.

I said it to my French teacher.

Excuse me, mish.

No, you just said, pardon moi.

Pardon à moi, madame.

No, no, no, no, no.

Puti boujou for Ed?

She was impressed that you were giving French a ghost and said, we,

we, Edoir.

We ran away together.

Oh, that's nice.

Yeah.

Nice end to the story.

Yeah.

Some stories have nice endings here on the Off Menu podcast.

Ed ran away with his French teacher, who he did a lady in the tramp with a turkey turkey twizzler with.

That's very, that's very nice.

But if Jamie says turkey twizzlers, he's out of here.

Yep, sorry, Jamie.

This is going to be logistically quite hard.

Je sou d'éssolet, Jamie.

Yes.

Let's crack on with it, shall we?

Yeah, very excited.

Not often we get a chef.

We've had two in a row.

Two in a row.

Jamesie last week, Jamie Oliver this week.

Let's see.

What is the dream menu?

Sorry.

The off-menu.

What do you do?

You say the off-menu?

The off-menu menu.

Jamie Oliver!

Welcome, Jamie, to the Dream Restaurant.

I love your restaurant.

Welcome, Jamie Oliver, to the Dream Restaurant.

We've been expecting you for some time.

Here we are.

Now, this is a rare occurrence in the Dream Restaurant.

We are actually

somewhere that you normally are.

We're in your HQ.

Yeah.

So the decor is literally, you know, it might be how you have your

studio.

So it's one side normal and then three sides bit odd.

Yeah, might.

But yeah, this is where I work.

Fully functioning kitchen there.

Thank you.

So do you are you not normally mobile?

Are you normally in a central place?

No, we've been about.

We've been about.

We've been about.

Yeah, but not normally with such sort of specific decor to the person we're interviewing.

Interesting.

So really you're on my turf.

Does that feel

good?

Yeah.

Okay.

It feels like this was a real power play from you.

guys that we're looking at

your HF.

I promise it's not a power play but it definitely was a diary play probably

it's kind of amazing this place though we walked in there's a fully working kitchen downstairs we came just after lunch which was disappointing

huge office everyone working here obviously chuff beyond belief to be working here because they get an amazing lunch every day they do it great

you know i'm lucky it's taken me 20 years to get organized just so you know like the journey to here we only got here three years ago.

That is 17 years of like busking it and crappy offices and like nicking the desk here and there.

And I got to a point where I thought, actually,

more so from the creative side, like if you can get creative people in one place and you're creating opportunity for like corridor meetings and sharing ideas and stuff.

But if you're ever around at 12 o'clock, I'm not just saying this, come in.

Like there's always a bit of grub.

You're going to regret that?

Also, when we walked in, because you're met with that big open kitchen, when you walk in downstairs, and

it was clearing up from after lunch, and there was a little boy, probably primary school age, and he was just sifting through a tray of corn on the cobs.

And I was like,

that's the next Jamie Oliver.

That's what I thought to myself.

I was like, I could be looking at the next Jamie Oliver.

It could be.

No, I don't remember seeing this.

I saw a little boy.

You saw a little boy, Benito?

He's shaking his head.

This doesn't look good.

In my head, there was a little boy.

There was a little boy.

That's actually one of our team's son.

He's working, but like, there's no one to look after the kids at home.

So, we,

a lot of our team here are parents.

So, I think, like, I've tried to work out, like, what does a good boss look like?

And so, that's one of the things a good boss has to do in this day.

Have you got kids, you two?

No, no.

It's really hard.

But this is what I've heard.

This is what I don't think.

It's amazing, but hard.

And I think just like sometimes the simplest things make you feel like the world's caving in, like you just can't do it.

And it's literally things like, I've got no one to look after.

So bring them in.

Yeah.

We love it.

And so it happens fairly often.

But yeah, my dad totally, because I grew up in a pub and dad's a proper old-fashioned graft, like put your hours in.

But like people can come and go when they want.

They can work from even before COVID, they could work from home

Monday, Fridays.

And my dad was so worried.

He's like, you'll never get any work out of them.

But I think in this day and age, like people just like, they'll put the graft in if people are flexible.

Yeah.

See, I've never wanted kids either.

But lately, the corn on the cob in my house has been quite disorganised.

Now I'm thinking.

Is this a euphemism?

Maybe I can have a kid.

Yeah, sift through your corn on the cob.

Organise that corn on the cob.

Yeah.

For organisational reasons.

Yeah, just like doing a lot of admin for me.

That kid and still got hard work at that.

Are you quite an organised person in the kitchen?

Do you have everything in the right drawers and lined up in the right way?

Yeah, so I think I've got it all in the place as well.

At least I know where it is, and it makes sense to me.

I used to work in kitchens growing up and I know that I don't have strictly everything in the right place.

If I was in a like, you know, a pub kitchen, it would probably be in the wrong place.

But I know where everything is, makes sense.

And I like to get everything chopped up and ready before I'm going to be able to get away from it.

Oh, you're one of those things.

Yeah, interesting.

So I think I'm organising that.

And I don't like it when the, even though I do leave the washing up most of the time.

What does your sock drawer look like?

That's quite good actually.

You just ball them up and put them in a line.

They're balled up.

Are they colour-coded?

They're not colour-coded.

They're all there balled up.

And I used to do it.

I don't know how yours looks, but I used to do it balled up, but with a bit like the tongues hanging out.

You know that one?

Wow.

Where they're balled up, but that's like not completely balled up.

Not imperfect.

Yes, two little.

Together at the end, but then two little tongues.

It looks like a little pair of trousers.

Wow.

But now I've got fully balled up because for a while, my flatmate, he'd always like, you know, fold all the clothes up because he was there for, he was more organized than me.

That's cute.

And he'd completely ball my socks up.

And you didn't like the tight.

It felt like a bit of an invasion of pride.

I was like, that's my socks, and you're kind of completely balling them up.

But now it's what I do.

Now I can't stand it when they're flapping out.

I had a revelation with Boxer Shorts.

Yes.

Have you ever heard the brand SAX?

No.

S-A-X-X.

Oh, right.

Like, so, look, if one could give one like a gift,

like, like,

I'm not even joking, right?

So, and I'm not, I have no relationship with the company at all.

The crew who we use, we had this moment, like what are you wearing they all pull up their little bit county klein or camera king but and i and i you know i bought them all sacks yeah it's if you want to have your balls cradled by an angel yes all day who doesn't every day yes um they have this is the truth tm ballpark technology

I'm gonna before you leave,

I've got some downstairs.

I'm gonna show you some.

I'm not gonna give you them, but I'm gonna

tell you.

So if someone said to them, what's Jamie like as a boss?

They'd say, he makes makes us all wear the same pants.

Well, I don't have many men in the company.

We're like 85% ladies, so that wouldn't work.

But for the men that are here, I have tried to...

I'm not trying to get them onto sax because I'm pushing like a cool brand.

It's got nothing to do with cool.

And actual fact,

they're not that cool to look at.

Yeah.

Yes.

I don't think.

But bullpark technology.

But bullpark.

I'm not even joking.

Do you ever call people?

It's like

you were saying, what's the one

of the biggest revelations in the last two years, it's that.

So if you're a fella listening to this, if you don't believe me, then just try it because your eyes will go and then that is it.

But then also if you're a woman listening to this and you want to get your fella a present for Christmas or birthday, honestly.

You should call new male employees into the office and say you're going to give them the sacks.

How do we get onto this?

Oh, socks, socks.

On socks, though, what's your strategy?

Do you consciously buy them or you just get value things?

At the minute, I need to buy new socks.

I'm aware of it, and I keep on thinking in my head.

How can you split up the thoughts of sports socks versus like going out looking fair?

Very clever.

I don't do sports.

So that's how I get around that.

Yeah, but

I don't go out.

I wear sports socks the whole time.

Oh, yeah?

Most of the time.

Everyone knows when you might need to run away.

Yeah.

Ed's always

gotta be.

Yeah.

I wear chucks.

Yeah, tube socks.

A lot of the time, to be honest.

I just gotta wear M ⁇ S socks, old man socks.

M ⁇ S is not to be shunned, though, is it?

I'm quite keen on M ⁇ S pants.

What about sacks, though?

Yeah.

You can't abandon sacks.

Not for men, not for men.

Female.

I'm not into trendy female Knick Knox.

No.

Nah, no, just give me like clean, fresh, like utilitarian pants from Marks and Spencer's.

I'll take that.

I don't know.

Have you been to Asian Provocateur?

I've done lots of presents there.

Women get on.

Don't ask us how I got onto it.

Provocateur is amazing, but

that just all looks like it hurts.

Yeah,

bit of a faff.

You want to be comfy in love.

We've watched you on TV over the decades, and you're a man with a lot of empathy.

And I imagine if you saw someone wearing underwear that you thought looked painful, you wouldn't be able to enjoy it for yourself.

Especially if you're a chef in the kitchen and putting in a 12-hour shift and you're like, damn, that's going to hurt.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.

You can't have that.

But it's a fashion thing as well, isn't it?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Types of underwear.

So, socks, so you're methodical.

So you've got a spice rack that's in order.

No, no.

Okay, so your socks in the drawer with the bit hanging out doesn't correspond to how you treat your spice rack.

So my spice.

He keeps his spices in the sock drawer.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

All pulled up in the socks.

so they can't.

Delicious.

No, so I've got like, you know, I've got a cupboard, three shelves in the cupboard, bottom shelf has got all the spices in there, just in a random order.

And I've got to kind of like peer over so that I can see the tops of them all.

Oh, I see.

And then there's stuff like, you know, the

certain ones that are all green tops and I can't see the labels on them.

And I've got to pull them out one by one.

And I do think a spice rack would be easier.

Yeah.

I quite like recycling jam jars for spice racks.

Oh, yeah.

yeah.

A little label on them.

Yeah, I had a revelation

when I was much younger in my first flat.

Like, when you use a jam jar and you wash it up,

I had a simple shelf and I screwed the lid to the underneath of the shelf so that you just put the jam jars on so they float underneath.

Oh, nice.

And then put the ones on top.

So, in a small amount of space, you can have like literally 30 spices and you can see it all.

And it's recycling.

That's great, that's cool.

And it's quick release.

That is cool.

Favourite spice?

My favourite.

Yeah.

Fennel seeds.

Oh,

Sally.

Now,

it's not my bad word, is it?

No, it's not your bad one.

It's been the one in the past because

it's the one food

that I don't like.

Everything else I like.

Fennel.

I get it, I get it.

Fennel I wrestle with still.

And I'm trying to get better at it.

The seeds?

Do you hate the seeds?

Yeah, so no, I hate the seeds.

So I've had, you know, the other day, I had some fennel seeds in some red cabbage, pickled red cabbage with fennel seeds in them.

And got it pissed off.

I ate it.

I wasn't, but

that element of it was like, oh, I'll prefer it without it.

That's interesting.

I wouldn't have expected fennel seeds.

Here's the thing, right?

So, all I would say, of course, personal preference, subjectivity, and all that.

But there's some spices and herbs, let's say, fennel seeds or bay leaf, where in recipes throughout hundreds and hundreds of years, you'll see like one or a tiny bit of that.

And then you start saying, well, does it really make the difference?

And what's the point?

With both, like, let's say with bay leaf or fennel, if you were to take, like, a loin of pork and put loads of bay and loads of fennel and salt and pepper and roast it hard and let it catch but don't overcook it and turn it and then hit it with vinegar like the magic happens so it's so what the point i'm making is like there's some things that i'll just put a little bit of this and no no no my point is like go big yeah so like like whether it's fennel tea that's delicious that's really simple it's like like really just quite nice if you don't want to just smash coffees all day but you want something it's good for you or if you just want to like cook pork or chicken or a layer of a curry where it will disappear but so

I'm not saying you won't still hate it but I do think like you just got to go big

or go home with both of those things and there's other and you know that's my revelation anyway but each to their own I guess I love that that's your number one though it's a it's a big it's a big it's, it's, I don't think I'll guess.

Well, I like it because it can go into the world of curries, it can go into all of the Mediterranean, it can get lost in things or it can own things.

You can go poultry, meat, fish, gold, um, and but also you get the seeds dried, but you get the flour, you get the pollen, you get the bulb.

Like, it's an and it's so good for you.

I just love venom.

But I hate abs, I hate um, the aniseed and absinthe right, probably because I had a hallucinogenic experience

And I don't like it in whatever that

shot is.

Zambuka.

Zambuca.

Yeah, that's not horrible.

But that doesn't that, that was the sick, that was the signature of every end of bad night, wasn't it?

Yeah.

Joe what, there's a very specific type of person who, when it hasn't been bought up at all, no one's been talking about it, but on a night out, comes back and they haven't asked anyone with a tray of sambukas and you're like, you motherfuckers.

I love those people.

Yeah, no one's ever asked me.

I don't like those people.

I don't like that guy.

Yeah, I would be tempted to hide laxative in their food just as a reprisal.

There should be a recipe in the new book together

for those people.

If those people are coming around, a secret recipe where one of the ingredients is laxative.

It'd be like, you think you've all been invited here because I love you.

Yeah.

But it's actually, you've all done things in the last 10 years that deserve to be paid back.

They look around and go, hang on, we're all the people that are wake up with it.

A week later, yeah.

I was looking through your new book

and I'm very excited about some of the recipes.

I was mainly flicking through and looking at the desserts because I don't really make I'm a big dessert fan, but I don't really make desserts at home.

So I was looking at a lot of them and the rhubarb and custard float in island is one that I might give a go.

Yeah, it's quite old school and a lot of people don't, it's not really in restaurants and it's not really in takeaways and it's delicious.

Oh my god.

I love rhubarb.

Yeah.

And actually everyone thinks...

Obviously making meringue, whether you go French, Swiss, Italian, they're all different styles, but like you just whisk it up and then you poach it in milk.

It's like so fast.

So I love all that.

There's quite a lot of nostalgia in that book,

which is a nice thing.

What do you think?

Was it like a conscious thing that you wanted to make it more nostalgic?

Because that's how you were feeling at the time.

Every book I've written has a very clear point and it's not necessarily for everyone, but without trying, like generally I'm solving a solution one year and then going on a kind of adventure the next.

It doesn't always work out like that, but they're very different books and they're popular in different ways.

And, like, one's for more the mass people answering a question, and one's kind of more kind of geeky foodie.

And it's quite nice to do both because being in one or the other is kind of like not as exciting.

But this one was kind of obviously sculpted by Covid and lockdown, and

all the emotions that we've all had,

I can presumptuously say we've all had because we have.

And that's about the concept of togetherness.

And like, all right, so yeah, the world's opening out again and restaurants and support your locals and you know but at the same time technology has never made it easy to get a takeaway so you've got the latest technology in one hand and then you've got the concept of that on the other and it's not saying that that should replace that it's it's it's just that people are actually scared of doing dinner parties yeah so and I've never written I've always I've done lots of recipe books but I've never written one which is about like okay look I've put a meal together here's a startup Makeles dessert here's some nibbles, here's a cocktail, this is why I love it.

And it doesn't mean that you have to follow it.

It's just giving you an intention.

And I guess what I would want, and I kind of is that you were like, well, I don't like fennel, so I won't do like that bit.

But the fact that I've said what I like to do helps you kind of get...

And so I think for me, the idea of creating memories in a moment, as romantic and cheesy as that sounds, is true because that's what we've all missed out on.

And actually, we've learned lots, but actually

everyone's got their COVID stories about mums and dads and friends and aunties or kids or this.

And

so I've written this very differently, so you get ahead, which doesn't sound like radically different, but it's a totally different style of writing.

Yeah, so you get ahead, so then you don't have to sit there slaving away in the kitchen when your mates come around.

You're kind of focused on your mates having a laugh with good stuff just ticking away in the background.

What about if someone, say, not necessarily me, quite likes having to go to the kitchen all the time so they don't have to interact with their guests?

Is there anything in there for me?

Yeah, no, but you just then you just default and have your own cocktail in there.

Or just do it, see, do it all ahead, and then just sort of stand in the kitchen doing that.

I think you've got the flexibility to be stuck in the kitchen.

Great, okay.

But the way that I put it together is that you don't have to be bolted there.

Like, do stuff now and then enjoy yourself later.

But even cocktails, which I've presented to you with.

Yeah, you've given us a cocktail.

Is this the first time a guest has made us something?

It is.

Really?

Yes.

But

you're like years into this.

No one's ever given you anything in all these years.

No, but to be fair, we've never given a guest anything either.

So

Catherine Ryan bought some

Pringles along with her.

And we had some of that, to be fair.

Yes, Catherine Ryan did bring some Pringles, that's true.

Pringles.

So this is a jammy margarita.

You can batch this up so you can do it the day before, the week before, whatever.

But it's basically you take your favourite jam, tequila and Quanto, lime, stir it up, put it over ice.

It's a great cocktail.

It's good things to stay.

What's quite nice is if you like another jam, then you just go for blackcurrant or blackberry.

But I quite like cocktails.

I find

I was maybe I grew up in a pub, so theoretically, I guess a snowball was a cocktail.

But I didn't really understand them until 20 years ago when I realized that a glass of something could be constructed to disarm the biggest arsehole on the planet.

It's kind of like, you know, that kind of concept of like break glass in case of emergency.

It's kind of like, no, actually, this is going to work.

And the first one that I did was a sidecar.

I don't know if you've ever had one of those, but that's...

It's pretty strong and it works.

Sometimes what I didn't want to do, although I respect it deeply, is like cocktail dudes have got so technical and talented over the years, but I don't want to give you a recipe for a stock syrup that you've got to simmer away and put in a bottle and blah blah blah.

And that you never use again.

What have you all got?

Jam.

Great.

So do a jammy mic so you don't need the stock syrup.

You get booze, booze, jam, lime.

Great.

And then get your taste buds going.

That's super tasty.

My first cookbook ever.

20-minute meals?

Really?

Yeah.

30 or 15 actually.

But I did an app that was 20.

Yeah, it's 15, 15 but he's quite slow well listen i was 20 every time uh 15 minute meals then it would have been i first time i moved out that was the cookbook that i think was given to me and who gave it to me i think my parents uh or my sister maybe and i i did a lot did a lot of stuff in there the one that i kept doing all the time and that could eventually i could do it from memory was the meatloaf and i'd make meatloaf all the time

for whoever

i would make a whole meatloaf but how good the meatloaf is?

It was great.

I'd smash up the cream crackers

with a rolling pin

wrapped up in the tea towel, make a meatloaf for everyone.

I loved it, Jeff.

Is it me sitting on the cover like that?

Like, looking all surly and serious?

Is it Ministry of Food?

That sounds like a Ministry of Food recipes.

It's the Ministry of Food.

I think it's Ministry of Food.

Yeah, so it's Mothership Recipes.

So you've got one recipe for me.

Was there a chapter in it that was 20-minute meals in Ministry of Food?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

There you go.

There you go.

You weren't wrong.

There you go.

I was right and wrong at the same time.

Ministry of Food.

And like, yeah, yeah.

I really like, because

when I moved to London, I was working in a school and I was doing comedy in the evening and I had this little gap in between those two things to have food.

And so I was going straight to that cookbook.

But can you eat before a gig?

Because I've heard a lot of comedians say that, like, no, I don't eat until after.

I have very little respect for the craft.

And so it was very easy for me to eat before a gig.

The rice,

that was the first thing I made from that book.

Probably the first meal that I made on my own in a kitchen.

Really?

Was from that book, was the beef stir-fry with the egg-fried rice.

It's kind of a moment, really, isn't it?

You mean a lot to me, man.

Well, I'm grateful that your parents chose me connected to you from that.

They obviously thought that you were in good hands.

How wrong they were.

I can't believe you've finally made a cocktail that can disarm the biggest asshole on the planet, Jenny.

Considering me just,

Jamie.

We always start with still or sparkling water on this podcast podcast for your dreams.

Still, I have

no respect for sparkling.

Just gives you wind.

No respect.

No, I mean, like, there is.

I actually did a water tasting once.

I'm not sure if this is a random story, but I'm going to tell it anyway.

So when we opened 15 years ago,

the son asked us to do like a water tasting.

And my head Semmelier, who's an amazing Australian, young contemporary, cool Semelier, but like deeply geeky, but like cool with it.

And he'd have amazing conversations with customers just to get them the right wine.

They asked him to do a water tasting.

So I came into the office above the restaurant and he had his feet up and he was looking at the piece that he'd written about a water tasting.

Of course, it's like you know, it's a bit shit, isn't it?

It's kind of like wine sommelier and you're doing a water tasting.

So I just walked in and just said

only a wanker would have to do a water tasting, you know, and give him a bit of abuse.

And

he goes, Oh, my mum, he's on the phone.

He goes, My mum's quite upset

being so rude.

I didn't believe it was his mum.

And then I had to pick the phone up, and it really was his mum.

And because he's always like winding me up, I'm like, Oh no,

I'm gone.

Anyway,

but that was all sparkling water from different places and mountains and naturally sparkling carbonated.

And I still don't like it.

Still don't, yeah.

So you leave it with that.

And did did you do the water taste and get talked through it and stuff?

Yeah, it like some's soft and some's hard.

Do you know what?

Like, I quite like tap water.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Maybe it's because it's free and that's more powerful than the nuances of.

I don't know.

I know that they're right, but I'm just happy to sort of just a big glass of tap water is the best, isn't it?

Yeah.

And

cold water on a hangover is one of the most beautiful things in the world, isn't it?

You say, I love you.

Would you like that for your dream meal?

Would you like the water that gets brought out to you at the the beginning to be cold water and for you to have a hangover?

Yes, if the hangover only lasted until the end of the first sip.

Yeah, it just that's that's that's just that relief that comes with the first sip of water and then the hangover goes.

Yeah, yeah.

But have you ever had that feeling when you

feel so rough that you go, you look at the glass of alcohol or the bottle and you go, I hate you more than life itself.

And then you look at the water and go, oh.

Yeah.

I love you so much.

I really want like seven apples sprite when I'm hungover.

Oh, really?

Yeah,

that just feels like, yeah,

I really start to crave it and like I have to have it.

Baraka always feels like some form of fun.

Mainly because your pee goes luminous, but always fun.

Yeah, yeah.

Well it feels like you know it's working.

Yeah.

Whereas it's the opposite innit?

It's not working.

It's all the stuff coming back out.

Yeah.

If forever, from now until forever, your pee was one colour, but it can be any colour in the whole rainbow, any colour in the world, what colour would you like to pee every single time?

Good question.

Thank you.

good question it's the most surreal question i don't think i've asked anything so weird that we big each other no but that's amazing friendship i love that

appreciate that comment yeah i mean the colour of this wire which is a vivacious vivid blue yeah

would be a lot of fun and never get boring what would yours be i was thinking blue i was thinking like a wkd blue like that kind of but the novelty would wear off straight away surely i think it would you'd have one day of doing a blue wee and then you'd be like well that's just what my wee looks like now But also, going skiing would be fun.

Going skiing would be great fun, yeah.

Because then you get blue snow.

Blue snow.

Yeah, that'd be fun.

I think any other colour.

Yellow is crazy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The fact it's yellow is really mad.

Mad.

But if everyone's just yellow, then blue's more exciting, right?

True.

You're the blue one.

Yeah.

I think anything else, people would think you were ill.

So it's like, did you ever hear about the carrots?

Go on.

Cool.

So, like,

what colour are carrots?

Orange.

So, like, back in the day, the Dutch royal family, the House of Orange,

like, obviously, technology, you know, limited, X, Y, and Z.

So, their version of propaganda of how prolific the Dutch country farmers were was to take the original carrot that was purple and just turn it orange and make it so good and so prolific that the world's carrots went orange.

What?

So, that was like one of the earliest forms, in my opinion, of like

edible propaganda.

So, people think that carrots are orange, but that actually isn't.

The original ones are those trendy ones you'll see at the farmers

which are purple and if you cut them in half there's a little bit of orange in it and it's that bit they bred for.

So my point being that if everyone's got orange pea, yellow pea and you bring out the purple,

it kind of makes you feel smugly special.

Yeah then everyone yeah then everyone always imagine going to a nightclub though and you're all pissing up the urinal and then you've got a streak of that coming out.

Yeah yeah.

Speak of the blue everyone's like who's that called?

The guy by the soaps and the eau de toilette is going to blow his mind, isn't it?

Yeah.

Hading you a chubber chubby,

suck on this yellow chubber chub so we can turn it back.

Pop a dumb sore bread.

Pop a dumbs or bread, Jamie Oliver.

Poppa dumb saw bread.

Pop a dumbs thrown through.

Yeah.

I mean, like, I'm a massive fan of pop-a-doms.

Yeah.

I have been lucky enough to travel to India.

and

see them used in many forms.

I also used to work in an Indian restaurant.

What is coming in here?

Some pop-a-doms.

Some poppadums.

You

surprised us at that.

Well, I knew you were going to say it.

So this is...

Thank you very much.

That's a quarter of a pop-a-dom that you know.

Yeah,

I know this one.

I wanted to show you some other pop-a-doms.

So.

Oh, mate.

One of the nicest things I did when I was much younger is

I don't know if it translates, I mean, it does translate into your game because I'm sure you've done your fair share of comic gigs for nothing.

So in the chef game, you call it a stage, and you just go and work for a day, a week, a month.

And I've done a load of time in just different, it's a way of going to the kitchen to sort of see if you want to work there or if you can learn some things, but like they haven't got to employ you.

So, it's just like, but I went and worked in this southern Indian restaurant called Rasa, and

there's still one left in East London.

And this is like a celebration popadon, where so it's essentially ground dal, which is lentils, so it looks super healthy.

So, we know the round one, yeah, yeah.

one is basically a batter that's got a mold in it, and it's dipped and shaken, and that's for celebrations.

And also, like a lot of Brits, we eat poppadom as like a starter or crispy bits at the beginning, but actually, that it's the poppadom is a texture that would normally be kind of crushed sort of over your rice to give you that's and you have it with part of the meal.

Yeah, but this one obviously breaks up differently, and they can and but also you can pick it up and scoop up the so that just to explain, like this is like a star-shaped

poppadom.

So this is why I love poppadoms.

This one is the same, but different spices piped out of the piping bag

straight in.

And then this one is a poppadom, as you know it, a slice of it, but dipped in a spiced batter of the same thing.

Right, right, man.

And it gives it an outer coating.

So have a try.

Thank you very much.

It looks like a big Dorito.

Yeah, and have a dip of this, by the way.

Like, seriously, like, just, I know you, I don't want to overtake the format, but you might as well try something.

And it is free.

I'm not going to charge you for it.

Free food.

It's the funniest thing to do to us at the end.

Yeah, but

bring the bill in at the end.

That's great.

And the spicy batter isn't too overpowering either.

It's just a nice

spice to it.

Yeah, because I think like in Kerala that they're mainly vegetarian.

They eat fish, but they're like, so if they're having a curry every day and a rice every day, the things that really change often are the pickles and the types of poppadom.

But also, if you look at that, this one, this is the piped-out one that's got kind of like, I don't know how to describe it, it's like a prickly, sort of wormy shape.

But if you tip, if you, it, that shape sticks on all the sauce.

Oh, yeah, so

you've got a position in that.

Anyway,

I hope you enjoyed that little.

I love it.

I mean, I genuinely had no idea there were so many different types of poppadom until now.

Working in that kitchen was one of the most inspirational things for me personally.

How long were you there for?

Only Only three weeks.

Yeah.

It was like a little starge.

No one spoke any British.

They were lovely people.

I was annoyingly famous for saying the word pucker quite a lot in those days.

Yes.

Which is annoying, but I was annoying because I was 23 or 24.

Listen, we didn't find you annoying back then, Jamie.

So don't even

feel like you have to say that kind of stuff.

I love you saying pucker, it was great.

Do you know what I found annoying?

People getting annoyed at you saying pucker.

Do you know what I mean?

It's like anyone anyone who doesn't like pineapple on the pizza or anything.

That's not your opinion.

You're just adopting it from everybody else.

It's going, I wish you'd stop saying pucker.

No, you don't.

It's not factoring into your life, shut up.

Get me another cocktail.

I love it.

Keep it rolling.

No, but it's amazing.

They say that word.

Pucker means the real deal, authentic.

So the only word I could speak of their language was pucker.

So it just made me worse.

What was amazing is like, you know, when you're trained to cook, it's like recipes and protocol and this that and the other it was like quarter to six 15 minutes from service and no curries were made on day one and I'm looking at this dude it's a busy restaurant and

this thing just happened before me that just took me it completely changed how I thought about fennel seeds and spice and and layers of flavor and this single man took 15, 16 different sized pans every pan size was sort of sort of it had a relationship with how popular the dish was.

And he then put coconut oil in every single pan, pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa, on a hot top, and would then go through a range of 30 spices and would take a big fist and have half a shake, two shakes, one shake, and just layer and just go through and every shh, 20 pounds, you know, 15, 16 pounds.

And then by the time it was five past six, there was 16 different curries made with vegetables, like whole fish, prawns, like done.

And then for the next hour and a half, they'd all be just kind of reheated and popped out, all fresh, like ginger and curry leaves.

And the curry that I'd grown up with, which I think is probably what we all grew up with, was more of a northern Indian Bangladeshi style sort of slow-cooked curry, like big, robust.

This was like nothing, it was tropical.

Yeah,

10 minutes to make a curry.

Wow.

So that sort of definitely made an impression on me.

Anyway, I digress.

So you'd have tallies.

You'd have all these different kinds of poppadoms as for your dream meal.

You'd have like a bowl like this with all the different ones in it.

Yeah.

And I think metaphorically speaking, like the idea that one thing can be a whole world of things, and like flatbread can be a whole world of things.

And so I, yeah, I definitely.

Everyone loves a poppadum, don't they?

Can I add the dips?

Am I allowed the dips with it?

Yeah, man.

Okay, yeah.

Have all those dips.

That's a coconut dip.

I like the coconut dip over there.

Garlic and dip.

Yeah, this is

garlic and lemon pickle.

So good.

That's a tamarind one there.

And by the way, bras are still going.

Yeah.

And it's East London, definitely worth a visit.

Really good value.

It's mainly vegetarian now, I think, which just makes it like super good value and delicious.

Let's start your dream meal proper now with your dream starter.

Okay, so it's quite a big question to choose one, but I kind of got it down to maybe my first understanding about the concept of a starter.

Because if you think about it, like, what is it?

It's just, I know it's a starter, but like, just to have dinner.

Like, so I was about eight years old.

I lived in the pub.

So down the stairs was the pub.

But since day one, like,

dad always had, like, he was a chef, but we had like seven chefs in the kitchen.

So I didn't realize it until I left home many years later.

But he was actually one of the early gastro pub dudes.

So whole animals, fish days, crabs, lobsters, cooking everything, picking everything, you know, like local produce, game, and all that business.

And I remember one day the chef running up with such excitement, and I was tiny, and I was looking up, and my mum's like, What's the matter?

What is it?

And he was just going mad about these things called an avocado.

And like, they weren't in the shops or the supermarkets.

No way.

And I know we all have it now, and it's most common.

I think more avocados were sold than oranges last year.

It's like, we've all gone avocado mad.

But

only a short moment of time.

And I'm thinking, what on earth is he?

First of all, A, how can a human be so excited about a vegetable?

That's not normal.

But as you can see, like, you know, I get quite excited about different food.

But we didn't know how to touch it or feel it or cut it.

But he turned it into or put it in like a prawn cocktail.

And I remember as an eight-year-old eating that.

And if you think about it for a kid, like, there's like salad in there.

Well, most kids don't default to that.

There's like prawns, which like maybe they don't default to that.

Mayonnaise, they probably do and ketchup but like you put avocado through it I remember eating that thinking I totally understand this is a miracle yeah this is a miracle you've got textures sweet sour tangy spice you know dash of Tabasco and Worcestershire sauce and bit a tiny bit of whiskey like mayonnaise ketchup tiny thimble of brandy was the yeah

cayenne pepper lemon juice Worcestershire sauce, a bit of Tabasco, like delicious with prawns.

And actually all my kids kids love that.

I would have a prawn cocktail

made by that guy then?

Like that one that you had when you were eight?

Yeah, that one.

Or one that you would make now for your kids.

Do you want us to erase the memory of avocados since the first time you can men in black avocados away from your mind?

I don't mind.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't, I'm not anti-avocado.

No, but then you can have avocado and discover it again for the first time.

Like when you were eight years old.

So we can men in black you.

Yeah.

And then you will have like that first ever.

Yeah, yeah, let's do that.

Yeah, okay, cool.

Because I've had half of this cocktail and it is actually

really working and I'm really concentrating.

I'm looking at your mouth and everything and I'm like,

I still don't know what he's talking about.

He raised me.

It feels cool.

It feels cute.

Every Christmas in the Acaster house for my whole life, the starter has been avocados with prawns.

in like Merry Rose sauce.

Yes.

In the middle.

In the divots.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

In where the stone

used to and then covered in that and that's like one of my favourite things every year and i get very excited uh to have it it's like a garlic actually not even a merry-rose sauce it's actually quite a garlic mayo that like my mum and dad defer to love it so much like i get very excited about it now like as a kid it was like oh that's just part of christmas but now i'm like really excited for each year and if if

and god forbid this ever happens i once turned up one year and my parents had decided not to do it i would definitely yeah that more than anything would be quite nice that they yeah i i agree like the thing that's nice about Christmas, and sort of getting onto the vibe of this, that togetherness vibe, is I think we don't like change.

Yeah.

I even sit in the same place at Christmas.

Like,

I just like repeating the same thing, but I could only pimp that ride.

Like, if I ever go to a pub and I see a prawn cocktail and I just size it up, and I'm like, oh, you dirty bastard.

I order it, have a pint of beer, but the way to pimp that ride is a portion of chips.

Oh.

But home, the proper chips.

Yeah.

Proper chips and prawn cocktail is a thing of beauty.

Yeah.

Are you

dipping the chips?

I'll dip everything.

I just mix it up and get amongst it.

Do you know that the history on prawn cocktail was interesting?

I think it went back to the American Prohibition because they didn't have any booze.

So they weren't doing this.

They had all the cocktail glasses free, not being used.

So the chefs took them and then, I guess, came up with that.

But like, I'm.

And

sneaking brandy in by just tipping off well yeah I don't know if that's a label like kind of like

fucking prohibition

but there was a lot of yeah there was a lot of underground booze wasn't there but yeah can you imagine trying I can't believe they did that imagine to try and take away a new country's booze yeah well

yeah I mean they couldn't do it here no good luck ever yeah can you imagine it would actually it wouldn't work that would be the that would be the end yeah yeah yeah I tell you what we wouldn't do start innovating and using the glasses to make new starts

That would absolutely not take.

There are no new dishes coming out of Prohibition in Britain.

That would be it.

So, like, if we didn't put...

Actually, I've got two questions now.

With the chips,

would this be a dish you serve in your restaurant?

Go on.

Someone could order, like, a bowl of chips and then you just dump a prawn cocktail on top of it and send it out for people.

Like, the only way that people can...

I think you'd have to dump it table-side.

You'd have to bring them the chips.

Yes.

You'd have to chip it.

You have to bring it.

Show them both.

And then just dump it on and go, there you go.

You've ordered your chips and the prawn cocktail.

i think it i think there's a way of making it work yeah hot and cold yeah you know hot and salty and crispy with soft and silky and tangy like i i got a mate that i went to college with that i went he's in cornwall and he's got a little outside holidays summer restaurants he's got a couple of them called craftworks and um he does like street food burritos and burgers and stuff like that but he puts these little setups in farms with nice views and mainly takes the produce from the farm And I turned up like last year and he gave me a portion of chips

and kind of did what like did prawns and freshly picked crab from Port Isaac with like trendy mayonnaise like sriracha, kimchi mayonnaise, different colours.

And I have to say it was one of the best.

It's kind of what we're talking about.

Yeah, yeah.

I ate it and thought he was a genius, but I

sounds about it.

One of the best things, I think about it all the time.

When we went to New York in 2017 and we went to a place called Extra Fancy and they served us these sweet potato fries and they just dumped a clam chowder on top over on the top of it pretty phenomenal yeah it was so good i mean it is kind of theatre and bonkers and a bit surprising yeah yeah i like it i mean like the canadians um they they have the chips with the the the curds and gravy yeah

poutine i mean they literally i mean it's literally like a religion isn't it yeah but it's it's the diff you get the crispy ones and then you get the soggy ones at the bottom and it's all good but it's just the mix of all the different textures it's so good Potatoes are good, aren't they?

Yeah, they're pretty good.

Have you ever grown a potato?

I've never grown a potato.

Have you ever grown a potato?

No, no, no.

You?

Fen?

Shaking his head.

Even when I lived in London, like with not much space, I used to grow them in

like a tomato bag.

Yeah.

Were you the only one of your mates doing that?

Yeah, I was properly got the Mickey taken out of it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I remember going, leaving school, and everyone's like, what are you going to do?

What are you going to do?

And I'm like, I'm going to be a chef.

And then like, oh, you wanker.

It's like they thought it was a really rubbish,

they thought it was a really rubbish job.

And I think for for some reason like

it's still not taken seriously chefing i don't i don't think so like we're we're we're not oversubscribed for chefs in this country if you talk to any restaurant anywhere in this country now it's never been harder to get staff right there's not queues of british people wanting to get chef jobs yeah it doesn't exist yeah but it is it is an extraordinary job that can take you easily around the world and back again and you never have to theoretically ever go hungry and you can get a job anywhere because everyone's always looking for a chef.

And it is the most amazing window or key to any culture.

Like, I've on multiple occasions have been welcomed in incredible ways into families and homes, complete strangers, just because they know from my eyes, and

like no language.

Just seeing them cook something, and they say, Well, come and try it.

And you have a bit and have a bit more.

Like, do you know?

Because as a cook, if someone goes, Oh my god, that's oh, like that.

I think we've seen that in lockdown a little little bit, like the kindness of people.

And I think cooking and this vibe is, yeah, the gift of making people feel good through either care or the group of people or like putting a scenario music, a little like, did you do that?

Did you do that?

But also, just like when people have, like, I mean, like, chips, Mari Row, you know, that

I think it's a brilliant thing, but I don't know why more people don't go into it.

I think the hours were.

Yeah, you're scared of the head chefs.

Yeah, I think that's.

I've worked in kitchens before.

Yeah,

when I was working there, if someone said to me, do you want want to go?

Well, I actively tried to not go.

So, in the kitchen that I was in, there was a back kitchen, there was a front line where they did all the mains and all the grills, and it was like a big deal if you went there.

And I was offered to go there at one point, and I turned it down because the head chef was a bully, and I didn't want to go anywhere near him.

And I think there's a lot of that sometimes: like,

if I try and be a professional chef in that kitchen, that guy's just going to bully me, and that'll be it.

Yeah, I say it to you because you're one of the few TV chefs who haven't been bullying people on TVs.

It has been a problem historically and I think they are high adrenaline environments.

And then there's a degree of like, you know, like

certain industries, there's like a lot of noise, but it's just technical noise, not sort of personal noise.

But certainly like 20, 30 years ago, sort of an amount of violence, drugs and bullying and inappropriate behavior was sadly too common.

I think it has got way better.

And I think, you know, maybe social media's fixed some of that.

But it is an amazing job.

And who knows what will happen?

Obviously, the whole industry's had a tough time in lockdown.

It'll take years to bounce back.

And even if it could bounce back now, there's not enough people

to help them bounce back.

But I kind of hopeful that, you know, just talented, smaller, local neighborhood restaurants, and like they are, that's what kind of makes neighborhoods work, isn't it?

Like when you can get everything on an app, I think in five years' time it will be in a good place, but it's going to be a bumpy few years.

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Let's go on to your main course, your dream main.

Yeah.

And is this something that, like, is this one of your own recipes?

Is this something you've had somewhere else?

Yeah, it doesn't have to be.

But, like, I think a curry night.

What I love about a curry night is

colour, surprise, like, you just take a bit of this, that, and the other.

Everyone builds their own kind of plate.

But

I just didn't grow up with that food.

Yeah.

Like, it was, it was classic English, maybe Frenchy style food.

And I mean, I sometimes eat stuff and I'm like, how did they do that?

I mean, the Indians just cook so well.

What I always liked about it when I was a fat little boy as well, Jamie, is I liked just

the opportunity to have maybe four mains in one meal.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just being like, oh no, it's a side dish and then have an entire plate of it.

Yeah.

Saga loser, a main, really.

Yeah.

There's so many.

Also, they kind of made veggies pretty cool, right?

Yeah.

onion bhajis come on yeah um like a good onion bhaji not a greasy like heavy one but like a good one it's like wow yeah yeah um

and somehow managed to make spinach like cool yeah

it's like how did they do that sagpaneer was always my go-to yeah yeah yeah when i i've been to india and i've watched children cook in the street and technically looking at how they're cutting and measuring and and going i don't know if i could ever do that yeah that and just thinking god i really must try a bit harder.

Normally, we'd ask people like at this point, I mean, obviously, we're going to get into what specifically you want for this curry feast, but like, normally we'd probably ask people, what's the best curry you've ever had?

Probably can ask you your top three, probably.

I bet you've got like a lot of ones that stand out that would be interesting to hear about.

Okay, so when I worked in Rasa, they did this crab curry, which was like nothing I ever.

and they just it had a lot of black pepper and um incredible like curry leaves and bits and pieces and mustard seeds and coconut milk and it's very fragrant ginger um and they just split the crab up and do this kind of very quick you know preparation and it was absolutely delicious and you can crack all the shells and it's just it was messy it was delicious it was completely the the meat is so sweet and flaky blew my mind i have to say i do love like the kind of chicken tikka vibes.

Anything, I mean, not necessarily specifically that, but like those marinated chicken ones, like in a tandor where it's just blackened on the outside and juicy and white on the inside, and luminous with spices and loads of lemon over the top and sort of dry, but in a on the outside.

Definitely would mix up the meat and the fish if I was building my own perfect.

I wouldn't want to just go fish or just go veg or just I want it all.

And then in the veg world, probably like either like a squash pumpkin pumpkin curry, because I just think it's wicked and delicious.

But this one was one that I saw but could never get the recipe to, so I had to just experiment.

And that is basically pannier

with the most amazing, like, bonkers green spinach sauce.

You get, you marinate the paneer and turmeric, and it's not that many ingredients for a curry, really.

It's like fair, you know, it's onions, garlic, ginger, you know, but that sort of green, luminous gravies, that with the chicken and the crab, beautiful rice.

You did say poppadoms or bread.

I do love a naan, but there is.

Yeah, but your main course is the curry feast.

You can obviously have a naan.

If you've hacked it, you've got bread and poppadoms.

Yeah, but there's another one as well.

All right.

There's this bread that is potentially better than naan called a parata.

And you basically lay out dough, like a simple dough, like this tablecloth here.

And then you just, depending on what part of india they're from it could be ghee or you know or it could be coconut oil but they'll put their you know fat on it and then they'll roll it up like this

and then they'll roll it up that way like a sort of snail

and then they'll roll it out yeah

cook it on a plancha or like a solid top or a grill or you know whatever on both sides and then they beat it up they're like

and and when you do that it all does that like this like shards and it and what i've I've, I think I've worked out is a little bit like that.

Is they kind of

that bread is not just bread, but the kind of way it's made turns into like an edible fork.

So you just like...

Yeah.

And then you want to.

You want this edible bread fork that you can dip into all the other currants with.

But like you were sort of saying earlier, like when you had that sweet potato chips and like the chowder went on top, it's like, well, what's what's going on?

Yeah.

Like when you bring the bread out and you put it on a board at the table and everyone's just chit-chatting, your mates having a little drink and then you're going,

what's going on?

But then like it's annoying for just enough time.

And then it's just like, try that.

And it's like, oh, I get it.

Yeah.

So I don't know if this is getting too greedy for a main course.

But I quite like,

especially when you listen back to our episodes where we've had chefs on in the past, often this is a theme in the chef episodes.

Yeah.

Is that it's not just one thing.

It's often thinking about everyone eating together, loads of stuff going on.

And so if we didn't allow this, it would be unfair because we've let other chefs do similar things.

So this is okay.

Yeah, yeah.

It's sort of...

When there's a chef on, all rules are abandoned.

Yeah, in fact, you're probably the first chef who hasn't paired every course with some booze at some point.

So, you know.

Well, I think I've got a healthy relationship with booze.

I mean, I do like booze, but I mean, I grew up in a pub.

So, weirdly, like, it's the opposite of maybe what you think.

Like, you have to respect the family business.

So I've always had a kind of got to treat booze right, otherwise it can take easily takes over you.

And as you probably know, like the

largest amount of alcoholics, I think, are surgeons, chefs, and

comedians.

Comedians.

But it's like, it's like, it's a problem.

I didn't know that about surgeons, so that'll be pilots.

Oh, great.

Okay, that's not me, not sleeping.

So I was kind of thinking, like, if you were eating food at 36,000 feet, go into a country to have an operation.

You're looking good.

I've got to say, I'm into cocktails and I'm into what I'm

into everything apart from Mascal and Tambuca.

And is that because of bad past experiences?

It's terrible, yeah.

It just represents everything painful that's happened as a teenager, probably.

But I think beer is the place.

I think beer has definitely got a good.

I think that the natural beer would be a cobra.

But I've got a little beer shop that's opened in my little town, and he sources beers, great beers from everywhere, bonker stuff.

And

there's two beers: one's called Zut

Zot, delicious, that'll be good with this.

The other one's called slag,

but there's another one called posh.

So if you buy a bottle of posh and a bottle of slag, it obviously says posh slag.

Now, I don't see the funny side of it, but everyone seems to find it deeply funny.

But

some of those like belgium german dutch beers they're so good yeah and i think with a curry they'd be amazing yeah yeah they're the beers where you take a sip that tastes amazing and you look at the bottle it's 10.5 percent yeah yeah some of them go to space great yeah yeah and they some of them really can be yeah look at that go i've got to fly a plane in a minute yeah

but it's gonna move this guy's appendix

powerful and see as a kid because i used my job in the pub was uh like so wash up clean toilets sweep out the the front, bottling up was one of the big jobs.

So replacing what has been taken and then taking the empties out and recycling them.

I remember for years, I did it for years and years and years for my pocket money, and I never understood the small bottles, the half bottles of like porters and all the high, it's the high brew stuff.

And it wasn't until later on I realized that all the older men would come in retired and they have a beer strategy.

I never understood the concept of a beer strategy.

This is very normal.

I'm generalizing, but

there's a clear association with higher alcohol and more flavor.

So it's easier to make a tastier beer with more, but more booze.

So they'd start with a little bottle of something like seven point something.

Get it going.

And then they go right back down to sort of like a three, four.

Like, now we're going to go for the lung game.

And but if you get it wrong, of course, like when you're just, yeah, you go to space and

I never understood it until many years later.

So are we like having a because normally we're going to dream side now, but is your dream side dish part of this feast or is there a different dream side dish?

I think the side dish probably was the naan and the pira.

Yeah.

That's fine.

I don't know if that's allowed.

That's fine.

Yeah, of course.

I mean, you don't normally get a side of more carbs, do you?

But

there is vegetable curries in the middle of the table.

But that's another strategy I think you learn in later life.

I certainly learned in later life with a curry is...

Sometimes don't get the rice and the naan and then you've got the popped ons as well.

Sometimes you can just have the bread and the curry and then you don't come away from it feeling like you need to roll roll down the corridor

i agree but often when you go in you're so hungry that you get excited and then you overorder oh no i always i i always ignore my own strategy but you know yeah yeah how many times have you knowingly overordered when you're ordering and literally as you're doing it you're thinking there's no way i kind of have to do it for a job yeah because

contrary to what people might think i do quite long hours at work and then i've got five kids.

So I try and who's that guy?

That's your dad.

So I try and be around for the kids.

So I don't actually get to go to restaurants that often.

So when I do, like, I don't, it could be posh or super underground or gnarly or whatever, but it's got to be good.

Otherwise, I just don't want to waste my time.

Yeah.

But then also, I want to see what they're doing.

So I, if there's four of us, I'll order for ten.

So I like what everyone orders their stuff, but then I'll say, can we have a little plate of that in the middle?

So I, I, I, it's, it's kind of my job to over-order,

which is kind of really nice but also one of the challenges of the

like

I have to go I'm in the gym three times a week.

I should be about 10 times the size and I and I and like but I'm paid to to eat yeah which is a really sort of it's a strange job but I think if you want to get a full flavor of a chef or like it's quite good to you can't do it with one or two dishes unless you're really lucky but like it's quite nice to sort of see where they're going off-piece.

And God, that hit it on the point, and that was a bit weird, but kind of cool, weird.

And so, also, if it's a good menu, you don't want to order one thing or two things, right?

You need to, you need to.

And I often do all the starters.

Yeah.

Just like everyone's, you know, how are you doing, Bella?

Like, you're having a good old chat, and you've got to then, then you've got to look, it's like homework, isn't it?

Like,

cry.

And I just say, look, just pick your mains.

All the stars, please.

Yeah.

And

that's a good vibe because it's sort of,

you get a little taster.

Do you like...

I don't suppose you do like this.

No one likes this.

But have you ever had a waiter or waitress say to you, I think that's going to be too much?

Like when you over-order and they go,

the eye is

like, this is a lot of food.

Yeah,

you're like, well, dude, I'll take it in half portions, or you can kind of feather it out slowly.

Like, I'm not going to eat everything you give me.

I just want to try it.

So you can give it to someone else if you want to.

So it's that kind of banter.

And then they sort of go, okay, well, fair enough.

I guess it is your job.

The other day in a restaurant, actually, I was with a friend, and and we ordered all our stuff.

And we went, Is that enough?

And the waiter went, Yeah,

that's a lot of food, which is the catchphrase.

That's what they go for, right?

It's a lot of food.

And then we ate all of it and then came back and went, You did a really good job with that.

Yeah, I know, I know we did a good job.

Benito and I had the opposite experience recently.

We went to a Mexican place and with some friends, and the waiter said, Here, we don't like to waste food.

So we'd like it if you.

I'm like, he needs to be fired.

You order this

He's never gonna make any profit from it.

Do you know how hard it is to make a pound in this industry?

It's called upselling.

No one's been promoted to undersell.

Wow, okay.

But the thing is, is that then because then you know, because we said about wasting food, it puts it on your conscience.

So you're like, okay, I'm just gonna order the amount that you said to order.

And so we did that.

And then afterwards, we were all like, do you know what?

That was the perfect amount.

And I'm quite relieved we didn't order more than that.

Okay, that's good.

So we were quite...

And by the end, I think we've both been turned around.

We were like, who's this little punk telling us?

Well, actually, I was like, that Benito didn't care, he's a much more Zen guy.

But I was like, Can you believe that Benito?

That guy said that to us.

And then, actually, by the end, it's like.

What do you think would have happened if I was there?

You would have

gone, hmm, okay.

I'll have more than that, please.

And you don't tell me how to live my life.

And then he would have gone away, and you would have gone, why are you looking so uncomfortable, Benito?

I spoke my mind.

I would have eaten it all though, wouldn't I?

You would have eaten it all and the guy would have had to eat humble pie.

And he would have had to eat the whole pie.

He doesn't like to waste food.

I mean,

it is a big conversation now.

I mean, like, I worked in America for quite a while, and I just didn't understand the kind of, I'll take a box.

I mean, of course, it's great.

Yeah.

And so, but it's like a, it just did not exist in Britain.

Maybe a little bit now.

It's just not something we've done in Britain, is it?

Sort of, I'll take that to go.

Thanks.

Saying about the box to go home, I nearly said things.

I remember there was something at some point in my life, I can't remember if I was in a restaurant or whatever, when if you wanted stuff to go, they would get this tin foil, they would put the food that you were taking home in it, and they would fold the tin foil up in a certain way that it would have a handle on it.

Yeah, yeah, and you would carry it out like that.

And then I started to think, maybe I saw that on one of Jamie's TV shows.

That was, yeah.

And it was you.

I used to do it, yeah.

Yeah.

So, like, people, when I worked at the River Cafe, it was quite a glamorous restaurant and still is.

We'd have quite interesting, well-known people coming in, and they'd have this specific dessert called a chocolate nemesis, which was like the most incredible expression of chocolate.

And people were like on it like crack.

It was like

their thing.

And they all, so people would often take it if there was any left to go home.

So I used to get like a box, cut it into the shape, wrap it in foil, sit a portion or two on that, and then wrap it in foil in such a way that it wouldn't get squashed, and then turn it into a handbag, because why not?

And then, because I thought I was funny, deeply not, I'd kind of write parada on it or something and then you'd give it to some glamorous person and they would walk out of a tinfour parada nemesis bag.

So your dream drink, was that going with the beers that we mentioned earlier or is it something else?

I think my dream drink changes.

But I didn't do beer for like four or five years.

And my missus bought me, probably bad move actually, but she bought me a membership to the Scotch Whiskey Society.

And basically, you get a membership, you get a nice mag come through every quarter, and then you get these taster bottles come through, and they're always good, and you always learn stuff, and the mag's put together nice, and it's like interesting people and families, and you know.

And then I hated whiskey as a kid, and it's like one of those things that I like hating fennel seeds, it's sort of like, Well, but do you really?

Yeah, and the answer might be yes, by the way.

But when what what they do is they go, Well, what style of whiskey do you like?

So they kind kind of say, Do you like it peaty or smoky or flural or this?

And you go that, and they get rid of all the others.

And then, within the world of that, they bring you 10 versions of that and go, Would you like this, that, that, that, or the other?

And you go, Well, that, and that, and then they get rid of all the others.

So, anyway, the answer to the question is really good.

Like, single malt whiskey,

definitely not smoky, definitely not peaty.

And what's funny is like it's run or driven by like what I see as like pack-a-mac-wearing geeks that are just night nuts about whiskey.

The notes are insane.

And like rude and contemporary and funny and ironic and the names they call the bottles are like bonkers.

But what's really interesting about it is like they're not brands.

What it is, it's like white label.

So what they have permission to do is to go and buy single barrels of anything.

It could be the most expensive or it could be like the cheapest.

But what's in that barrel is genius.

And it has a number.

And if you look up the number in the book or online, you can find out who made it.

But basically, it's that's how it's like probably geeky.

Anyway, so for the last five years, I have been.

My favorite drink would be probably a triple shot of really good single malt whiskey, definitely quite fruity.

And the kids in bed,

ideally a fire lit.

Yeah, and ideally, like some tunes on

what tunes you got on Top Loader?

Ooh.

Last year in lockdown, there was an album done by Tom Mish and Yusuf Days, this drummer.

Brilliant.

I mean, honestly, one of the best things I've heard in years.

That is an album.

It's called What Kind of Music?

It's literally, it's such a good album.

So that on,

fire lit.

an unusually large shot of single malt whiskey.

I do break, like, they say you shouldn't do it.

I do have an ice cube in it.

You've got to do what you like, though.

Brankers say you can't do it.

Yeah, yeah.

They say only water from spring.

Yeah.

It's like, ah,

I quite like it being too cold and tasting one way.

And as it gets warmer, it tastes another way.

So that's just my thing.

Plus, by the way, it's full strength, barrel strength.

So this can be like 52%.

Wow.

Yeah, yeah.

You get a buzz on.

Yeah.

But that's all I do.

I won't smash it.

But that's, I'll, that'll just.

Anyway.

I think that sounds great.

Yeah.

Perfect.

Beyond the moon with that.

Yeah, I went to space.

This is incredible.

It's something salty to have with it.

You know.

Popped on.

There's the saltiness there, but now hopefully we're heading to something sweet for the dessert.

Yeah.

It doesn't have to be sweet.

Well, it does.

If you want a cheese board, Jamie, you're very welcome to a cheese board.

Okay.

Well, Jamie, obviously.

Yeah, I mean, like, I could take you to, I mean, I'm partial to cheese.

Lovely.

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A box of cheese.

It's of all the things I've ever done in 20 years for my team.

It's the one thing they complained about.

It's the only thing they've really all been really happy about.

That's weird.

But I've done, no, everyone loves cheese, man.

Yeah.

It's a thing.

Perfect way to end a meal.

Anyway, we're not having a cheese book.

Yeah, we're not having a cheese.

We're not.

We're not.

But cheese is powerful.

It would be my mum's, which by default is my nan's trifle.

Lovely.

It's quite old-fashioned.

It's not supposed to be elegant, but it just sort of makes me feel like the world's okay.

And for some reason, I can switch off most things and say, right, that's enough.

But with trifle, like, I could go on.

It's just a beautiful sea of heaven.

Sponge,

sherry, custard, blancange.

And also, like, it can't be...

I don't like homemade custard.

No, no no no no it's got to be like it's got to be carnivores yeah yeah it has to be and tinned clementines or mandarins

what you look forward to the most because when I think about a trifle what I'd be looking forward to the most is always how the sponge goes in the in a trifle how like the texture of the sponge in a trifle is what I immediately think of and what I'd probably look forward to that mouthful where you got some like of that i don't know how you describe it how a sponge goes in a trifle but that that texture that you get that you only trifle sponge.

Yeah.

Different to any other sponge.

Yeah, because it's like, I think traditionally they used, it was always like the old sponge or the old biscuits that they'd rehydrate.

Yeah, like the sponge fingers.

Yeah, so if it's too dry, like even with Tiramasu, which is essentially a trifle.

If it's too dry, that's bad times.

And if it's too wet, that's bad times.

So you've got to get the equation right, even though the individual parts are quite tacky.

But what I quite like about those individual parts is they would always be in my nuns' cupboards: tin fruit, you know, the tinned custard powder, the blancange, the sponges.

So, like, my, I mean, my mum would make like just a vanilla sponge, and that was nice.

And sometimes we had chocolate, and that's nice.

Sometimes she'd buy that little rolled-up one with the jam in between the layers and slice that up

and put it on the bias.

And sometimes it was the biscuits, but I kind of like just the straight sponge myself.

Yeah, I'm open.

I'm open to

sponge inspiration, but I do like the shaved chocolate and jelly is important.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Jelly's not really fashionable anymore.

I mean, like,

do you remember the packs of jelly that you made jelly from?

Oh, eating that raw.

Straight, yeah.

And mum would say, don't eat that.

Your stomach will set like jelly.

Yeah, told me I'm, don't eat that.

Like, I basically was like, you know, almost convinced it was poisonous.

Yeah.

The first thing I ate.

knowingly thinking this could kill me.

Really?

But in a way, it's just like mega jelly, right?

It's the ultimate concept.

It felt like mega jelly, it felt like so strong, the flavour in it.

You're like, I just want that cube of like pure jelly.

And it's like a little chocolate bar, right?

You break it off in little jelly.

Yeah,

yeah.

And so many E-numbers that you get a headache within 30 seconds.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

That's when you know something to get rid of the headache and kicks it after 30 seconds.

The thing about a trifle, you can't just make it and you're done.

You do have to like do your layers and then let the custard set, and then go back and do the next layer and let that set.

But

I do think like whipping the cream with a bit of sugar and vanilla, if you over-whip it, it's it's rough.

And if it's just wet, that's rough.

So, getting that just soft peaks, I think we call it.

Yeah.

Can you remember there was a time when, because obviously your grandmother taught it to your mum.

Did your mum then teach it to you?

Was there a moment where you started putting the trifle together?

Yeah, I think, well,

I think I asked her for it like 15 years ago, and

then it ended up in the Radio Times or the Times or something.

She's like, I can't believe you printed it.

It's just my recipe.

I didn't ask her permission to print it.

It's similar as a comedian.

My parents are constantly worried that every time they say anything, they're like, you're not going to use that, are you?

Don't put that in your head.

Especially when you say, so my dad used to do this thing where...

Ed's act is full of stuff about his dad as well.

His mum doesn't really feature that much, but his dad quite a bit.

Yeah, the first time I did

stand up on TV, I did a story about my dad.

And I'd never done it before in the set, but I panicked because I was on TV for the first time.

And I I said his full name and job down the camera.

And the next day, when he went in, and he was quite important.

They had it up on a big screen in the meeting room, and they were all watching it and laughing.

Oh, so and he was really proud of his son.

Yeah.

Ed's dad is weird, though.

So, like, I don't think it would have fazed him at all.

He's a weird guy.

Yeah.

And you wouldn't know it.

What does he do?

I mean, Ed's got, you can still see a little glimmer here.

He was a solicitor and now he's retired.

And I believe this episode is coming out the day before my wedding.

So, you will be, if my dad has listened to this,

then you will be seeing him the day after it's come out.

So, yeah, but that's fine.

I'll happily tell him he's a weirdo to his face.

And what's the weirdest part of him?

Is it the scene?

He likes emails to his cat's fair and pretends to be the cat and refuses to ever break character or let on that it's not the cat.

Yeah.

I mean, that's persistent, though.

That's quite funny.

Yeah, yeah.

Although,

Ed's relationship with his dad is they bond over food quite nicely.

So, there's a thing where Ed will sometimes, you know, I'm on a WhatsApp group with my dad called The Barbecue Boys.

Nice, nice.

Yeah, yeah.

And Ed will send him photos of stuff he's about to cook, and then his dad will ring him and go, Well, I coached that once, Ed, and then here's what I did.

And so, that's quite nice.

That's yeah.

So, you know,

there's loads of nice stuff.

Just, you know.

Also, my main impression of Ed's dad really comes from Ed's impression of him in his stand-up.

Yes.

So, in my mind, Ed's dad is always speaking like that.

Yeah.

Like he's announcing

it.

Yeah, of course.

But it's,

yeah, I mean, I remember doing a sometimes, you do throw, if you're in the public eye, you do throw your parents under the bus.

I remember shooting a recipe in South End, South End Pier in the background, mum, dad, and Nan on deck chairs behind me about 10 meters away.

And I had a fire going and I was cooking this dish.

And I sort of said what I was doing and where I was.

And I said, and within our family, like it's known that I was conceived either in a Capri or at the end of South End Pier.

And so I said, Look, we're here in South End.

This is South End Pier, the longest pleasure pier in the world.

And I was actually conceived at the end of that.

And my mum's going, no, no, I wasn't.

And I just kept it at the camera and went,

I was.

Mum denies it.

All I'll say is, you'll know the truth just by the reaction of my dad's face.

But it's like,

I remember getting a real rollicking from my sister

saying, it's really, you've just really embarrassed me.

I'm gonna read your menu back to you now and see what you think Jamie.

Okay.

How you feel about it.

Water, you would like cold still water with a hangover that disappears at the first sip.

Yes.

Popadums or bread, all kinds of popadoms, plus the dips.

Starters, avocado prawn cocktail.

And you'd like to not remember avocados and then eat it and then be introduced to avocados.

Again.

Main course, a curry feast night, crab curry, chicken curry, paneer curry, side dish of naan and parata.

The drink, you would like a single malt Scotch whiskey, triple shot with an ice cube.

This is like 52%.

There's a fire on.

That's after the beers with the curry.

Can that be like a full curry?

You can have the beers with the curry, absolutely.

We'll let you have posh and slag and all those beers that you mentioned.

And dessert, you would like mum's slash nans trifle.

Yes.

That sounds very nice.

You feel good here in that back?

I mean, I was going to say something pretentious, like it doesn't flow as a recipe.

but it actually sounds like a wicked night out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's what we found doing these podcasts is that I don't think anyone's dream meals flow necessarily.

No.

They just have all their favourite.

They're little snapshots.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It would be nice to have that dinner over five hours, I think.

Yeah, yeah.

Don't want to rush that one.

No.

You've got the whiskey by the fire.

Yeah, that's got to be an hour, right?

If you're there before your dessert, having the whiskey by the fire, doing all that, and then you have a trifle, that's great.

That meal sounds absolutely delicious.

That was all right.

I mean, it was great.

Like, I kind of feel like reenacting it, but we did get some.

I am surprised that I'm the first person to give you like nibbles and a drink.

So maybe do you think it might set the tone for future guests to maybe.

Other guests might, who knows?

But like, you know,

if they live there.

Wouldn't go amiss, really.

But no one will do it for the Poppadoms course games.

If they're like, oh, Jamie Oliver came on and get

some Popadoms.

I can't compete with that.

I think people need to get creative.

They need to come with something like a cooler box of treats.

Yeah, a little box of treats.

Hang on, we're not not discouraging.

Yeah, I don't think so.

I think you set the new standard.

Wouldn't it be good?

Yeah.

Although, you know, I'm the genie in this dream restaurant who brings you anything.

And now I feel like you've, before my very eyes, transformed into a genie.

And I've

been giving me food.

Jamie's going to be sucked into the lamp now and is the new genie.

Do you want to come into the lamp with me, Jamie?

I'm about to go back into the lamp.

Do you want to be sucked into the lamp?

I'll come with you.

Come on.

Yumma, yumma, yumma.

Oh, great menu from Jamie Oliver there.

Great menu, great journey the whole time, you know, like loads of things that we learnt about different periods of time in his life, in his career,

his family.

Great chat, loved meeting Jamie, really enjoyed it.

To the listener, have you ever tried to conduct an interview with a plate of absolutely delicious popadoms sat in front of you, but not wanting to eat them because it would be too crunchy?

They're so crunchy, but you know, I had to really balance out, well, it would be too crunchy.

Might, you know, ruin the audio a bit.

Also, I like winding up Bonito, and I like it when he's stressed.

So you think, oh, if I just crunched all these and just ate them for like the whole podcast, he'd have a nightmare on his hands.

God, they're so delicious.

We're going to take some home.

Yeah, we're taking some home in a box each.

And let that be a lesson to you future guests.

If you don't provide us with a delicious cocktail and a platter of poppadoms or other snacks,

then you can get out of here.

Yeah, maybe we'll kick you out, regardless of whether you say the secret ingredient or not, which Jamie did not say the secret ingredient.

We did not say Turkey Twizzlers.

Thank you, Jamie.

Imagine if you brought in a big old steaming plate of Turkey Twizzlers.

If this was the podcast he chose to do it on Google.

Ha ha, guess what?

I love them.

I never hated them.

I've always loved them.

And we'd have to go, we're kicking you out.

Oh, what?

Oh, no.

Very, very glad he didn't say it because that was a wonderful chat.

Thank you very much to Jamie for coming on.

And Jamie's new book, Together, is out now.

We've got a a copy here, James.

We're going to be a cooking copy, which is lovely.

I'm absolutely

every page I flick to, I'm excited about what's on there.

Yep.

So I will be genuinely doing some cooking

once I'm married.

Yes, you will get married soon to that to your French teacher.

To my French teacher.

So thank you very much to Jamie.

I'm on tour as well.

You are on tour, actually.

In Feb.

Feb 22, Electric, Feb till April.

Go and check out my tour dates, edgamble.co.uk.

Yes.

Tickets avail.

And I will be teching that show.

Yes.

I know this is under the show.

Hello, Jamie.

Hello.

No, you're there.

And it's named Weird.

Yeah.

Oh,

you got some sax pants.

You bought in some sax boxer shorts.

The same thing is, you think that it was just me joking about the notes, right?

Literally.

No, you have to look.

This is the TM.

Yeah.

That's the TM.

So having a little look inside.

Oh, so you tuck them in the little pouch?

Oh, that is literally a little pouch for your balls.

I was going to look at that Jamie.

I was going to reach in and have a look closer, and then I realised they are genuinely your pants, aren't they?

Yeah, you've just taken them off from the toilets and then brought them back in the showers.

It's hanging out there like Bruce Springsteen.

Hanging out in your jeans, your boxes.

No one will know.

They look amazing.

No, I'm going to check them out.

Yeah, they cradle them.

The cradle.

Anyway, we have to run them.

Thank you, Jamie.

See you, Jamie.

Well, very rarely do we get a reprieve from the guests during the outro.

I think that's the first time that's ever happened.

Let alone they come in and show us some boxer shorts that they were possibly may or may not have been wearing earlier in the day and show us where the balls go in the box of shorts.

But it's happened and if at the start of this crazy journey, known as off menu, someone had told us one of the episodes, one of the guests will leave to go and do an interview respectfully for the one show, but then reappear during the outro to show you their boxer shorts and where the balls go in it.

I would not have thought, well, that will be Jamie Oliver.

But that's what's just happened to us in our life.

And special.

Very special moment for us there.

I was genuinely about to reach in and touch them.

Yep.

You were about to touch where the balls go to see, oh, where they go.

And then you realise, as you're about to do it...

They've just been there.

Yeah.

The balls have literally just been there.

I was going to reach in and touch the pants.

Yeah, because

he didn't come in and pull his trousers down.

I just didn't want to make a clear to the listener what happened.

The listener had the boxes.

He didn't come in, pull his trousers down, and go, have a look at the ballpark technology.

Look at where they go.

He came in holding some boxer shorts

with his trousers up.

Yeah.

Trousers up, zipped up.

I'm presuming he has other boxes on the premises.

Yeah.

He was holding a pair of boxes.

Yeah.

Said, look at these.

came round, opened the boxes up so we could look inside the boxes and you can see that there was a little compartment for the balls there.

I didn't realise, I didn't think about this, that maybe people listening at home thought he came in, pulled down his trousers, said, look at these, then look at where the balls go.

And Ed was at one point tempted to reach in and touch them.

Yeah.

Because that isn't what happened.

No, that sounds bad.

Well, it sounds unusual for the pod.

You know, it's not standard pod practice.

But

yeah, I forgot that the listener can't see what's happening.

So they may have thought that J.

Mullover just came in.

Sorry about that sound.

I'm reaching in and scratching my balls.

Yeah, that was Ed scratching his balls.

Just scratching his balls.

They're a bit dry today, actually.

A little bit dry.

This is what an episode it's been.

Didn't think it would end this way.

This is the kind of episode I'll get a lot of texts from my mother about.

Yes.

Some people don't make it to the outro with podcasts.

No.

Sometimes.

So they're going to miss out on that.

People miss out.

This is like, you know, an MCU,

end of credits kind of thing.

Yes, it is.

End of credits sequel.

And some people go, oh, yeah, and the bit about the bit when he came in and showed them the compartment where the balls go.

And everyone will be like, what?

I don't know what the hell all the fair weather listeners what the what are you talking about it's like you don't listen to the end there's a little bit at the end if you stuck round you listen to all the post credits after that Jay Miller re-enters the room

he takes out of his pocket a pair of packs boxes sax boxes sorry get their name wrong S-A-X-X Sacks boxers I know they're sax boxers because they made a great joke earlier in the episode and only Benito heard it what was it well both of you and Jamie spoke over it yes I was saying does he bring bring new male employees in and tell them they're going to get the sacks?

Oh, I did hear that.

Yeah.

Wow, you didn't laugh.

In my head.

Benito.

Yeah, Benito laughed.

Yeah, that's who I'm aiming at anyway.

Give him the sacks.

Right, let's pop off, shall we?

We may as well go.

Although, you know, I feel like if we sit here and talk for longer, he'll come back in and

all the other stuff.

You know, it'd be a shame to miss that.

But yeah, I mean, I'm having some more of this chutney.

Yeah, you can eat some more of that chutney on the pop and dumb.

Everyone else, you know, we'll see you on the next Pod O Caster Live.

Hello, I'm Lou Sanders, and if you've enjoyed this podcast, you might like my podcast, Cuddle Club.

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Hello, I'm Carrie Add.

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And we are the Weirdos Book Club podcast.

We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival.

The date is Thursday, 11th of September.

The time is 7pm.

And our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies.

Tickets from kingsplace.co.uk.

Single ladies is coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September.

At the London Podcast Festival.

The rumours are true.

Saturday, the 13th of September.

At King's Place.

Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet.