Ep 111: Emily Atack

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Speaker 1 Welcome to the Off Menu podcast, grabbing a fish fresh from the ocean of chat, dunking it into the deep fryer of humor, and sprinkling it with the salt of giggles. Hello, James.

Speaker 1 What's the fish doing in the ocean of chat? Oh, I don't know. It got lost.
It was in the real ocean and then it got lost and ended up in the ocean. No, the ocean of chat has fish in it.

Speaker 1 And I guess the fish represents a topic of conversation. Oh, yeah.
I love it. Yeah, that's fine.
Yeah, and then you get it out and then you fry it in the fryer of humor and then you sprinkle over

Speaker 1 the giggles. I love that.
Thanks, man. It's a food podcast.
That's why I did that. It's sort of linked to food, food and humor.
It's a food podcast with Ed Gamble and James Acaster. Yes, correct.

Speaker 1 We invite a guest to the Dream Restaurant every week and we ask them the favour ever start a main course. Side dish, drink, and dessert.
That's exactly what we do.

Speaker 1 And our special guest this week is Emily.

Speaker 1 Emily A-Tac.

Speaker 1 Emily A-Tac is an actor, a presenter. She's got her own show on ITV too, where she does like stand-up and sketches and all of that sort of thing.
She was in the in-betweeners, James. Stop what a CV.

Speaker 1 That's a lot of stuff. A lot of stuff to talk about.
Multi-talented.

Speaker 1 But knowing us, we won't be talking about any of that in any way whatsoever because we'll be too busy talking about food, probably like making fun of her a bit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Unless it really looks like she's getting upset and then we'll reel it in. Yeah,

Speaker 1 but that's normally what happens, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, normally. Normally things go into the gutter at some point.
I normally take it there and I'd like to apologise for that, but I will never change. Yeah, that's the best kind of apology.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Here's what we won't apologise for though.

Speaker 1 If Emily A-Tac chooses a secret ingredient, an ingredient that me and Ed don't like, we'll chuck her out of the dream restaurant and she won't get any dinner. Correct.

Speaker 1 And this week's secret ingredient is salt and shake

Speaker 1 and shake crisps. So disappointing.
Ugh. I remember them in school, a little kid being like, hey, check these out.
And he showed me the salt and shake and I thought it looked so cool.

Speaker 1 And then I had a crisp.

Speaker 1 And I was like, right, well, you're an idiot yeah there's no coverage of salt on these crisps what they've done there is they've left the most important job up to you yeah as a kid and you're never going to do it because you don't work in a crisp factory no you

Speaker 1 don't have the means so all that happens you shake it yeah and then all the salt floats to the bottom anyway floats to the bottom floats to the bottom you know and James isn't a man of science but he knows that salt floats downwards salt floats to the bottom of the packet I'll be honest, the first time I had them, my mum put them in my lunchbox.

Speaker 1 I don't think she really knew what they were. And I ate the the whole bag of plain crisps and then found the sachet at the bottom.
Yes, and then what did you do with the sachet of salt?

Speaker 1 I probably ate the sachet. Yeah, I bet you did.
If I could sum up my childhood in one word, it would be consumption. Yeah, I bet you ate the salt, sachet of salt.
I bet you made this noise.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I definitely did that. And then some music went.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 you had a big mouthful of salt. Well,

Speaker 1 this is exciting. If Emily

Speaker 1 chooses this salt and shake crisps, we will check her out. Yes, we will.
So, without further ado, let's hear the off-menu menu of Emily

Speaker 1 A-Tac.

Speaker 1 Welcome, Emily A-Tac, to the Dream Restaurant. Hi!

Speaker 13 That was high-pitched, wasn't it? That was really high-pitched.

Speaker 1 Sorry about that. A lot of stuff happened happened there.
Welcome, Emily A-Tuck, to the Dream Restaurant. We've been expecting you for some time.

Speaker 13 Oh, I'm so chuffed. I'm so chuffed to be here.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 It was a very high-pitched high, and you were aware of it. You came in high-pitched, and then the genie arrived.
A lot of stuff went on very quickly. Do you normally go in with a high-pitched high?

Speaker 13 I do when I'm kind of...

Speaker 13 Because this, for me, is really exciting, doing this podcast. So it's almost like a nervy thing of going, hi, and then realizing, and now I'm embarrassed.

Speaker 1 I've drawn attention to it even more. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 13 I'm glad we're talking about it, though. It's fine, get it out there.

Speaker 1 Apologies for that. Let's put you at ease of a bit of bonding.
You and me both have hard A's at the start of our surnames.

Speaker 13 Oh, we do, don't we? Yeah, A-Tat. I was always so shocked.
I was always the first on the register at school. It was the best thing ever.
It was like, I'm first.

Speaker 1 Who was second? Do you remember?

Speaker 13 Oh, no.

Speaker 13 Don't know. Can't remember.

Speaker 1 Shout out Daniel Behan.

Speaker 1 Is that who was second on your register, James? James, rather than you don't weirdly know the details of Emily's school register?

Speaker 1 No, Daniel Behan was in my primary school class and then was even in my form group in secondary school. So it was always A castor Behan, one after the other, hard A, hard B.

Speaker 13 Nice. I always felt sorry for a lad in my class called Pharaoh because he was a bit further down the line and I'm thinking,

Speaker 1 rubbish. But surely not at the end.

Speaker 13 Well, it was a small class. It was a small class, James, really small.

Speaker 1 What your class stopped at F? Yeah, I think it is.

Speaker 13 How do you know if there was a guy called...

Speaker 1 No, no, I just remember there was a guy called ward he was last but he didn't get he didn't get your sympathy for some reason yeah you felt you were feeling sorry for pharaoh but ward's sitting there like what look at me

Speaker 1 well big shout out and wait till you see how sorry you feel for this guy for in my school zubada oh yeah wow rock bottom of the register it's a cool name though zubada i like it also Got to draw attention to something that me and Ed have just seen, but the listener haven't.

Speaker 1 Why are you drinking out of a cup the size size of your head?

Speaker 1 Is it quite big? That is human.

Speaker 1 I honestly thought you hailed it right up to the camera there, but it is just a massive cup.

Speaker 13 Yeah, and also it's really difficult to find objects that are bigger than my head. So I think that's why I've chosen it because my head is so fucking massive.

Speaker 13 So finding something to make my head look smaller is kind of the aim here.

Speaker 1 So you always hold big objects?

Speaker 13 Always, always on a Zoom, especially on a Zoom, because Zoom really kind of enlarges the head, especially if I've been on the booze booze like all weekend

Speaker 13 like my head inflates by like five sizes

Speaker 13 so since the pubs have reopened since you know the 12th of april my god i think it's inflated about 27 sizes yeah they're letting people indoors but that's not going to be an option for you unfortunately

Speaker 1 i'll have it in the beer garden still my head's massive

Speaker 1 Give it to me in as big a glass as you've got so I can, you know, try and perspective trick this absolute nightmare. I'll have a pint of Guinness in a Sports Direct mug please

Speaker 13 my uncle calls it the booze valve you know if you have been drinking too much and your face is really inflated and you have to like pierce a bit of skin there and then it just goes

Speaker 13 the booze valve

Speaker 13 has he got a big head as well is this a thing in your family yeah really yeah it's a thing in the family everyone's got a big massive fucking head yeah every well everyone's on the telly so it's it's a very sort of telly family and i think lots of people on telly have big heads it is a thing like people say to me in real life people go oh my God, like, your head is massive.

Speaker 13 Yes. But I sometimes get really pleased with that because I sort of go, does that mean I've got a tiny body?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's interesting because normally what people say is when they meet someone famous, oh, they're a lot shorter than I realized. Yeah.

Speaker 1 With you guys, it's, aren't their heads bigger than they look on the tele?

Speaker 13 Honestly, that's what everyone says to me. Like, guys even have said it to me before, they're like, no, like, she is fit, but her head is fucking massive.

Speaker 1 Pardon my ignorance here. Oh, I would like a rundown of all of your family who are on the tele.

Speaker 1 Oh, God. I think I know, so you can,

Speaker 1 you give James the rundown. And I was going to say, I've never thought any of you have big heads.
I'm going to put that out there now.

Speaker 1 Although I'm enjoying making fun of you for having a big head, even though I don't think you have one.

Speaker 13 When you see us in real life, trust me, it is the massive head brigades. It's meant to have.

Speaker 1 We saw your sister a minute ago helping you set up the laptop. Big head.
Enormous. Big head.
So big.

Speaker 13 Enormous, yes. We haven't even touched the surface on the forehead yet.
Everyone always says to me, I've got like a nine head.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so you just pulled your hair back there.

Speaker 1 What you're doing doing there is you're pulling your hair back and obscuring the hair so yeah i mean i think everyone's head i mean i do have quite a big head anyway but everyone's head looks quite big if you do that yeah i mean what what i'm mainly struck by when you do that is just how absolutely pristine your skin is is it do you think here he comes from here james loves skin and that came out creepier than i thought it would oh my god that is the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a really long time Hey, no problem.

Speaker 1 Sorry that Ed hasn't been paying any compliments. To balance it out, it's lucky your skin's pristine because there's so much of it on that head.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It must take how many bottles of moisturizer do you use

Speaker 1 on your fucking head in the morning?

Speaker 1 A lot. E45, more like E145.
Am I right?

Speaker 1 Well, he's good. The thing is, he's got it within him.
It's good that he conceals it a lot of the time.

Speaker 1 James still doesn't know who in your family is on the television, so you've got to put him out his misery now, Emily.

Speaker 13 Well, to be honest, I think you're a bit young. It's more like your parents might know kind of who my mum is.
My mum's sort of been around for a while. She's called Kate Robbins.

Speaker 13 She's a comedian, actress, all-round show-off. My uncle Ted, Ted Robbins, has been in the business for a really long time.

Speaker 1 You know Ted Robbins, James. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 13 He's just one of those all-rounders. He's kind of been around for,

Speaker 13 you know, a really long time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know Kate Robbins. There's a photo of her with Paul McCartney here.

Speaker 13 Oh, yes. So I'm related to Paul McCartney as well.

Speaker 1 Oh, congrats.

Speaker 13 I wasn't going to mention that one because that's really showing off.

Speaker 1 And now you've mentioned it. What a massive head Paul McCartney's got.
Yeah.

Speaker 13 Yeah, well, yeah, no. And if you actually look, there's a similarity.
Like, my sister looks a lot like the McCartney. My sister's got the McCartney gene a lot.

Speaker 13 Yeah, Paul McCartney is my grandma's cousin.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 That mug, every time you put that.

Speaker 1 That's what the wow is for.

Speaker 1 Not the McCartney link. Yeah, yeah.
I told you

Speaker 1 about Paul McCartney, but look at that mug.

Speaker 13 what's in it it's a coffee I don't really love coffee that much but I'm a bit like a child and um I sort of I only I drink coffee like if I'm not allowed to have alcohol I have to have something to give me like a whoosh so I'll have a bit of that before you know like a something like this keeps my little brain ticking away you know little brain picnic

Speaker 13 yeah sadly

Speaker 1 We always start with still sparkling water at the start of the meal. You got a preference?

Speaker 13 Sparkling.

Speaker 13 yeah definitely sparkling if it's still i want to i'm one of those annoying people i now sort of put cucumber in it and a bit of mint uh-huh even at home yeah this is at home i sort of do that that's kind of like one like a grown-up thing that i do i feel really grown up when i do that i also know that i'm looking after myself when i kind of put cucumber in water you know but yeah first choice sparkling because then you it's it's a bit more fun isn't it you sort of feel like you're having a bit of pop Ed, do you hate cucumber in water?

Speaker 1 Yes, I absolutely hate it. He's voiced this before.
He hates it. I like it.
I think it's nice. I'm with you.
Yeah, it's nice. The hard A's sticking together here.

Speaker 13 It's just, you get just a slight, like, tiny little hint of it when you, when you drink it. Do you like cucumber in general?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I like, I like cucumber, but you know, cucumber's mainly water anyway, isn't it? So good point, yeah. I have a slice of cucumber, fine, but I don't want that.

Speaker 1 That I think it tastes more, cucumber tastes more cucumber-y when you put it in water than it does when you have a slice of cucumber. And I like the taste of water anyway.

Speaker 1 I don't need to mess with water.

Speaker 13 Okay, fair enough. Icy water.

Speaker 1 I see water. Yeah.
I see dead people. i see that's exactly what i thought i thought you said i see i thought that's what i thought was going on there i see water yeah we all do emily that's not a

Speaker 1 showing off it's not a paranormal skill we can all see it

Speaker 13 um slice of lemon maybe slice of lemon but not with with sparkling water i don't like to mess around with it too much loads of ice and maybe a bit of lemon but i'm but not bothered without it either so yeah well hold on no so because you you add stuff in it so you said lemon you said cucumber you said mint is there anything else that you would add to a glass of water?

Speaker 1 And when we've got the full list of stuff you would add to a glass of water, I'm going to need you to rank them worst to best.

Speaker 13 Okay. I also go a little bit mad sometimes and put sliced strawberry in my still water.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 13 But the thing is,

Speaker 13 you can't leave it in there for too long because the strawberries start to kind of go a bit soft and a bit.

Speaker 13 This is just like, if you're going to drink the still water with all the things in it, you have to drink it quite quickly because you just get a nice hint of the flavours of the bits that are in there, but then it doesn't get all mushy and and little bits start flying around it and it's it's chaos so yeah but i would say the first choice would be cucumber yeah and then lemon and then strawberry sometimes i put it all in together like a non-alcoholic pin

Speaker 13 yeah i think i think i like the vibe of it i like i like a vibe so like a glass of like someone asks me for if i want a glass of water i'm kind of like oh like because i feel like if someone's trying to get me to drink water they're trying to stop me from having fun

Speaker 13 so like i i just i felt that growing up it was always like a glass of water meant that I was having a tantrum or, or if just like, I've realized I haven't had a glass of water for a few days.

Speaker 13 And it's like, I just have to drink a bit of water. But kind of now in my 30s, I'm realizing water is very important.
So I try and drink it more.

Speaker 13 But yeah, I think I'm adding things to the water out of protest to try and make it more interesting because I definitely relate water with being dull. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Right. See, that to me sounds like a lot of hassle.
Like every time I have a glass of water, I have to get the cucumber out, slice up a strawberry, do all that because vibe. vibe.

Speaker 1 I think you can have too much vibe. I think that probably says a lot about me.
Sometimes I don't want a vibe. I just want a glass of water.
Completely fair. And James knows I'm a glugger as well.

Speaker 1 You've never seen someone glug it like it. I mean, just ridiculous.

Speaker 13 Are you one of those? Do you love what? Joel Dommit, who obviously you guys know very well, he...

Speaker 13 constantly has a go at me for not drinking enough water and all he talks about is how much he loves water he's like i love it so much i love water i just love it

Speaker 13 always say how much he loves water I was like, Yes, I get the hint. Like, I remember when we were doing extra camp together, we were away in Australia.

Speaker 13 He was always checking to see that I was drinking water. And his rule is: if you pick up a bottle of water, you have to finish it, you're not allowed to put it down.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I can't do that. Yeah, yeah, that's mad.

Speaker 13 Finish a bottle of water.

Speaker 1 For one, Joel Dominic has no right to dictate to anyone, anyone, what they should be drinking

Speaker 1 or eating at all because his history on this podcast is

Speaker 1 pretty poor.

Speaker 1 Everyone absolutely hates him. So

Speaker 1 he can't tell you to do that. Also, that is such a Joel thing to do.
To be like, the rule is, if you pick up a water, you have to drink the whole water.

Speaker 1 It's such a Joel Dommit rule, which I love him for. To put a game or a rule onto basic stuff is very Joel.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 13 And again, it's just, it's made me, it made me associate water with being boring because, again, I feel like I'm being told to drink it. I'm being told to finish the bottle of water.

Speaker 13 So if I'm being told to do it, I'm not going to do it.

Speaker 1 I'm a pretty fun guy, though, right? Joel Dommits are pretty fun. Yeah, it must must have seemed less square when Joel Domits telling you to drink it, surely.

Speaker 13 I was just trying to get him to drink alcohol the entire time we were away, bless him. Poor Bastard.

Speaker 1 You with your massive head going through the jungle. Please, Joel.

Speaker 1 You've got some booze with me.

Speaker 13 But please make my head inflate by three sizes.

Speaker 1 Poppin' absorb bread.

Speaker 1 Pop and obsorb bread, Emily ate.

Speaker 1 Poppin' absorb bread.

Speaker 13 Okay, I was up very late last night thinking about this.

Speaker 13 I had nightmares about it because,

Speaker 13 but is it if I'm having Indian food, I'll have popadoms. Sure, but I'm having bread if it's anything else, bread.

Speaker 13 But like, quite simple, I like a bit of oil, a bit of balsamic vinegar, tiny crunch of salt. That's my bread.
I don't, I don't have butter on my bread.

Speaker 1 What? Ever? Not really. Wow.
This might be a first on the podcast.

Speaker 13 I'm scared because I'm already scared that I'm eating an entire like focacher or something. That scares me.

Speaker 13 So I'm scared of putting butter on it because I'm already eating a focaccia bigger than my head. So

Speaker 13 the butter is adding.

Speaker 13 I think I'm a girl and I think about, I think about calories and all that shite. Actually, no, I don't want them out having dinner.

Speaker 1 Well, you don't have to think about that in the dream restaurant.

Speaker 13 Okay, butter. All right.
No, no, because actually, I don't.

Speaker 13 No, I don't. I actually don't think with olive oil and balsamic, you don't need butter, surely.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, that's fair.

Speaker 13 But if you prefer olive oil and balsamic that's what you should have yeah if you genuinely prefer it yeah i think i'm just gonna admit admit that i prefer olive and balsamic over butter i think would you do this at home as well is this something you do at home yeah i love it i love it so much putting a bit of um because thing things in little bowls make me really happy and again it's like viby i love like little bowls of nice things and if i see like a little bowl of balsamic and oil mixed together lovely that makes me really happy i like that a lot i feel like you're doing things at home that not many other people would make the step to do at home.

Speaker 1 You're doing restaurant flourishes in a home cooking setting, which is very impressive.

Speaker 13 I love cooking and I like making those little vibes for myself. Like, if I pour a glass of wine, I have like a tiny little bowl of nuts with it.

Speaker 13 And that's, I think that's why I can't be asked to just drink a glass of water because with a glass of water, I'm not going to make myself a tiny little bowl of nuts because the water is just keeping me alive.

Speaker 13 There's no fun to it. It's like, if it's a glass of wine, it's like, oh, should I have a bowl of olives with it as well? Then take a picture of it, put it on Instagram.
Lovely. um yeah

Speaker 1 how much traction does that get oh you'd be surprised you'd be surprised

Speaker 1 um well it's not it's not a picture of my tits so actually probably nothing but um but um yeah that would be awful no likes for a picture of a bowl of olives well even sadder would be no likes for a picture of some tits yeah that would be sad wouldn't it that would be sadder right That'd be a bigger hit to the ego.

Speaker 13 Yeah, no, it would. You're right.
You're very right. Very right.

Speaker 1 Who cares if people like the olives or not? If I put a picture of my butt on Instagram, I'd want people to like it.

Speaker 13 I wouldn't care about the olives picture. No, it's right.
I remember when that Instagram first sort of came out, and I was sort of trying to gauge like what was popular to put up.

Speaker 13 And I realized people like pictures of food, don't they? They like sort of seeing little pleasing bowls of things and

Speaker 13 drinks and stuff. And I was still, I was sort of trying to, I thought, right, if I put a picture of my poached egg, is that going to get likes?

Speaker 13 And then I just realized, no, it is just a pick of the tits.

Speaker 13 Watch the likes roll in. So I gave up on putting poached eggs on my instagram no no

Speaker 1 yeah i don't follow you on instagram um i'm not on instagram myself but i i'm now imagining your timeline is just like loads loads of pitches of food and then suddenly it just completely changes and i've got to say emily i don't follow you on instagram and you do realize after this conversation there is no way i can yes it's right not bare tits just you know but it's impossible for ed to follow you without you thinking oh it's impossible for you to get that notification saying ed gambler's followed you on Instagram without thinking, oh, right, yeah, I see.

Speaker 1 I guess it's olives from now on in.

Speaker 13 Yeah, get the poached eggs back, yeah.

Speaker 1 Also, quite interesting, just before we move on, nice to know that James thinks of his butt as his tits. Yes, the butt.

Speaker 13 I did think of it.

Speaker 1 The butt is the male tits.

Speaker 13 Yeah, it's a cleavage, isn't it? It's a cleavage.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Look, you know, at the end of the day,

Speaker 1 I just kind of think. If someone sent me a picture of their tits,

Speaker 1 I think it would be a little bit hardcore to go straight in with a deep shot and uh i think what i would do in response would be a photo of my butt

Speaker 1 i've got the funniest image in my head do you think anyone in that scenario would then send you something back if they you know were kind enough to send you a picture of themselves in that scenario and they received a butt pick back again yeah do you think then that conversation's carrying on yeah well the ball is in their court uh

Speaker 1 is that there as well

Speaker 1 like this is one

Speaker 1 just by accident.

Speaker 1 Yeah, sometimes.

Speaker 13 Tuck between the legs.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Pop it through.

Speaker 1 Little something. Little sneak three of you.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You've got a funny story about someone sending their butts to their girlfriend, haven't you, Ed? I know you were pressing me for that. I'm not sure.
Oh, go on.

Speaker 1 Someone I sort of know once sent a butt pick to his girlfriend to spice up the relationship, and she broke up with him almost exactly after that.

Speaker 13 Oh my God, no.

Speaker 13 Was it was it because his bum was really bad, or was it because she was like well this is just i just think it's i think it's weird to send a bum pick but bum pick is a very bold choice i'm always scared of man's bums like i you know you know the little walk you know the little walk on the way out if you've just like i don't even know if you can air this on the way out on the way out to the bathroom you know when you're lying in bed and then they walk off to the bathroom to have a wig i always get really scared to look because i'm scared i'm like I want to see what his bum looks like, but I'm really scared.

Speaker 1 What are you scared of, Emily? What are you frightened you're going to see?

Speaker 13 I'm just scared. I'm just like, what's it gonna look like? Is it gonna be hairy? Is it gonna not be hairy? Is it gonna have something weird on it, or is it

Speaker 13 gonna put me off them? Is it weird on it because of the spider?

Speaker 1 Look at the tarantula sitting up, crawling out of it.

Speaker 13 But you know, like, I don't know, like, oh, bums are scary. I get scared of bums.

Speaker 1 What's the worst thing you could see on a man's bum that would scare you the most? What are you most worried about seeing on a bum?

Speaker 13 Um,

Speaker 13 Like a piece of shit?

Speaker 1 Well, that's the right answer.

Speaker 1 A piece of shit.

Speaker 1 There was a moment there where James was so taken aback and then thought about it and was clearly like, well, yeah, obviously that is the way.

Speaker 1 Going, well,

Speaker 1 my initial response in my head was, oh dear, why say that? And then I went, no, it's absolutely the right answer.

Speaker 1 Especially if you've been laying in bed with this man, he's like, I'll just go pop to the bathroom and there's an actual piece of shit

Speaker 1 just on his bum.

Speaker 1 I mean, yeah, I mean, I laughed immediately because that's exactly my humour. Yeah, yeah, there we go.
I absolutely loved it.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 13 I'm actually crying. See, I'm crying at the thought of the horrible shitty bum.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that would be very bad.

Speaker 1 I was going to ask what's the best thing you can see on his bum, but I don't know.

Speaker 13 Nice, clean bum.

Speaker 1 Nice, clean bum. That's what you want, isn't it?

Speaker 1 Your dream starter.

Speaker 13 Okay, I'm going to sound like a basic bitch,

Speaker 13 but it's for me. This is the consistent...
lovely, reliable, boring boyfriend of starters. And it's a prawn cocktail.

Speaker 13 Not just like, and I don't think I've ever had a prawn cocktail, but you know, I know, and also, because I was going to say, hold on, only when it's like the nice,

Speaker 13 the nice giant,

Speaker 1 you've never had a prawn cocktail, Emily.

Speaker 13 No, never had a bad prawn cocktail. So I've never had a bad one.

Speaker 1 No. Because that was a big swing.
Because initially you said, I've never had a prawn cocktail. I've never had one.

Speaker 13 No,

Speaker 13 I've never had a bad one. And

Speaker 13 I was going to say it has to be a bit of a posh one, but actually, I remembered all the times in my life when I've just had really nice, basic ones.

Speaker 13 because also with starters i i panic i really really panic because i'm so obsessed with food and i'm so obsessed with going out to eat and i'm one of those psychos that studies the menu back to front even if i know the menu and the starter is very important because you're so hungry you put you what you you want to order like something massive but something that's probably going to destroy your main course because you've eaten too much bread and olives and all of that but i think a porn cocktail it's light you know it doesn't it doesn't fill you too much there's not too much bread on it.

Speaker 13 And yeah, just, I really like a porn cocktail. And I've just, I've got a nice sort of sentimental memory of, of these particular porn cocktails.
I used to go to Portugal with my parents.

Speaker 13 I was really young and my brother and sister. And that was when I was kind of introduced to them.
My mum would get us all a prawn cocktail each.

Speaker 13 And I felt a bit grown up with my little sparkly dress on and my, my, you know, my clumpy little, little baby heels.

Speaker 13 Sound like a weird child, but yeah, and it was just a really nice memory.

Speaker 13 And yeah, we'd be in Portugal we'd have these lovely little prawn cocktails yeah and i just i love them you said grown up and i think that's the key word for a prawn cocktail as a child having a prawn cocktail must feel so grown up you feel like that's a proper adult starter i think yeah and i used to i used to get annoyed with my mum because she would like she knew that i was going to have a prawn cocktail whatever we uh restaurant we went to so she'd go Emily, do you want your prawn cocktail?

Speaker 13 I want to say it to my son that I'm having a prawn cocktail. Like to the waiter, I'd be so chuffed with myself, like looking up at the waiter going, I'll have a porn cocktail, please.

Speaker 13 That was like my thing. So I was like, to mum, back off, bitch.
I am saying this myself. But the Thousand Island sauce, that has got to have a nice, nice squeeze of lemon in there, but not too much.

Speaker 13 And yeah, I love it. Do you like a porn cocktail?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I like them. I don't think I'd ever choose it.

Speaker 1 necessarily but i have had them in the past and enjoyed them they feel have they come back into fashion because they were old-fashioned for a bit and now and then they probably came back in yeah they're probably they're probably a bit old-fashioned but yeah they're just they're consistent.

Speaker 13 And I've never I've never had a bad one and sometimes nowadays I do go a little bit too

Speaker 13 I go for like the strangest thing on a menu and sometimes I just sort of say to myself stop trying to be clever just order what you want deep down.

Speaker 1 I didn't have a prawn cocktail until I was in my 20s

Speaker 1 maybe 25 25 years old and until then it was just a flavour of crisp to me.

Speaker 1 That was all it was of crisp flavour for ages I didn't really understand you know, I didn't really question that prawn cocktail and it's like it didn't even taste like prawns, but like I loved prawn cocktail crisps, absolutely loved them.

Speaker 1 And then I remember being on tour with Josie Long in a little BB in Scotland and I saw a prawn cocktail on the menu and I didn't say it out loud because I very quickly figured out that it must have always been a thing and it probably predated the crisps.

Speaker 1 But in my head, I was like, oh man, it's an actual dish. Yeah.
It's an actual thing. So I ordered it there and then.

Speaker 1 Oh, so the first day you had a prawn cocktail was also the first day you found out that it wasn't just a crisp flavor yes

Speaker 1 really

Speaker 1 yeah genuinely i hadn't seen it on any menus and i hadn't talked about it with people i had prawn cocktail crisps i never said to anyone why are they called prawn cocktail never asked it never came up anywhere until i was 25.

Speaker 13 Well, because if you actually think about the words prawn cocktail, if you actually think about that, that doesn't sound very nice, does it? You sort of think. It's weird.
Yeah.

Speaker 13 Yeah, it sounds weird because a cocktail means a mix of stuff. And I don't really

Speaker 13 want prawns to be mixed with too many mad things. So, yeah, it does sound a bit weird, but yeah, God, I can't believe that you didn't have one to 25.

Speaker 1 Was there anything else that you were confused by? They bring you fish and chips, and they were like, Do you want salt and vinegar on your chips? You're like, What?

Speaker 1 I probably did make that link at one point. I bet I bet there was a time when I went to the chippy and they said salt and vinegar, and I was like, Aha, because they're made of potatoes as well.

Speaker 1 This is the best. I see where these crisp companies get the ideas from now.
Because, really, the prawn cocktail crisps are just Thousand Island sauce flavour, aren't they? Really?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 13 Why is it called 1000 Island Dressing? I'm looking it up. Are there a thousand islands?

Speaker 1 Do they all contribute an ingredient each to the dressing?

Speaker 1 According to the Oxford Companion to American Food and Drink, the dressing's name comes from the Thousand Islands region located along the upper St.

Speaker 1 Lawrence River between the United States and Canada. So it's the name of a region.
It's called Thousand Islands, and that's where the dressing comes from.

Speaker 1 It's not a thousand different islands all with their own spoon making one dressing, right?

Speaker 13 A thousand island bottled stuff isn't as nice. I think that uh like the fresher the better.
And when you start pissing around with it, people start putting weird things in it.

Speaker 13 No, I think it just has to be very basic. It's ketchup and mayo, innit? A bit of lemon and yeah, keep it simple.
Oh my god, I used to go to Pizza Hut when I was little and the salad bars at Pizza Hut.

Speaker 13 Do you remember the salad bars? You go up there and load that bowl, yeah. And like you didn't want your pizza afterwards because you had so much of that in the beginning.

Speaker 1 And there was a nice Thousand Island sauce they had there, and I used to cover everything in that sauce you've transported me there i'm remembering the black plastic little ladle yes that you could get a surprising amount of dressing into and the little bacon bits the little bacon bits i would mainly have those i'd have a bowl of dressing some cheese some bacon bits and a beaten salad with no vegetables in it here's a question for you about the pizza hut buffet you loved it for a starter emily would you ever think a second trip to the buffet was an acceptable dessert having a salad with some croutons in there and bacon would you think that was a dessert no no wouldn't be.

Speaker 1 It definitely wouldn't be your dream meal dessert, would it?

Speaker 13 No, absolutely not. No.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no. So in case Daisy May Cooper's listening to this.
Well, James, we recorded that episode maybe two years ago. You've got to let it go, man.
No, absolutely can't let it go.

Speaker 1 Every time someone brings up the Pizza Hut Buffet, I think about that. And I think someone actually had that as their dream dessert once.
And it absolutely did. She was only doing it to annoy you.

Speaker 1 She was only doing it to annoy you. And it works for so long.

Speaker 1 It's going to work for much longer as well. Good news for Daisy.
To the day I die, I'm going to be angry about that.

Speaker 13 I can see it in your eyes. Like you're kind of sort of trailing off with your eyes, reliving it and getting really cross.

Speaker 1 What's the difference between Thousand Island dressing and Mary Rose sauce?

Speaker 13 Oh, good point.

Speaker 13 I don't know. Do you know the answer to that?

Speaker 1 I think one of them has salad cream and one of them has mayo. Well, the recipes I'm getting up here have both got mayonnaise in them.
Oh.

Speaker 13 See, that's why I love a Mary Rose or a Thousand Island dressing because I'm a condiment queen. I love condiments so much.
And it's basically just all of them mixed together, isn't it?

Speaker 13 All the ones you like.

Speaker 1 You're a condiment queen. I am a mash king.

Speaker 13 Are you? This is exciting.

Speaker 1 Best at making the mashed potato. In one pub in the 90s, he was the mash king, yeah.
Well, it was early 2000s. Mid-2000s, actually, to be fair to me.
But yeah, very good at it.

Speaker 13 Well, you might hate this, but I actually... I love sweet potato mash.
Sweet potato mash is my thing.

Speaker 13 I know if you're a real true potato lover, people get a bit cross when you say about sweet potatoes. People are like, sweet potatoes have taken over.
But I love sweet potatoes.

Speaker 13 I'm obsessed with sweet potatoes and I love making sweet potato mash.

Speaker 13 And any kind of mash, whether it's sweet potato or a regular mash, I put loads of horseradish in it, loads of butter and loads of horseradish. Delicious.

Speaker 1 We have been told by our producer, the Great Benito, that the sauces are the same, Mary Rose and Found Island dressing, but it is Mary Rose that is usually associated with the prawn cocktail.

Speaker 1 Whereas Found Island Dressing is often used in a Reuben sandwich.

Speaker 13 Oh my God, I'm so hungry now thinking about that.

Speaker 1 Apologies, because we are going to ask you more questions about food. It's only going to get worse, that feeling.
What size prawns do you want in your prawn cocktail?

Speaker 1 Because obviously, you've spoken about these posher ones that come with like six big prawns around the outside and then all the lettuce and dressing in the middle.

Speaker 1 But then a traditional sort of more 70s prawn cocktail would be those little frozen prawns the way you eat them and they don't really taste of anything, but then there's a little bit of water at the bottom that tastes of the sea.

Speaker 13 Yeah, oh my god, heaven. I think, well, I like both.
I'm going to be greedy and say, because this is my dream prawn cocktail, I would have both.

Speaker 13 I would have the small prawns with all the lettuce and everything in the middle. And then I'd have the big.
And also, you never get enough big ones. They're always a bit stingy, aren't they?

Speaker 13 And you get one or two, but I'd have all of them with a little bowl at the side with the hands.

Speaker 13 The only thing I don't like, I don't like having the admin of picking food apart when I'm out with my sparkly dress and my little heels on.

Speaker 13 I don't want my hands to smell and like, so I don't really like doing that, but I would still do it for the prawn cocktail because I love it.

Speaker 1 You don't have to. We can work out a system here.

Speaker 13 Oh, really?

Speaker 1 Whether it's we get someone to shell them for you

Speaker 1 or we can provide sort of snooker referee gloves that you can use maybe.

Speaker 13 Because I think for the for the visuals, it's nice, isn't it, when they all come with the heads on and things like that.

Speaker 13 But if we're talking practically, I would rather everything come ready for me to just absolutely dive straight into.

Speaker 1 Shame though, because then you don't get the fun of, you know, because

Speaker 1 after after doing all that, you get to put your hands in the little

Speaker 1 bowl with the lemon in it, and then you get to down that, that, the water, don't you?

Speaker 13 Oh, God, that is right.

Speaker 1 You've been doing that, have you? Well, it's a little a little drink at the end, isn't it? You get a little like gazpacha at the end before. Fishy finger water.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't want fish finger water, thank you.

Speaker 13 No.

Speaker 1 James, do you really, do you do that, do you? Oh, no.

Speaker 14 Oh, my God.

Speaker 13 Imagine, imagine if someone did that on a date.

Speaker 13 If I was on a date and a guy did that, but didn't even acknowledge that he was doing it, I would, yeah, I'd rather, I'd rather, I'd rather see his shitty ass walking out the door. I swear to God,

Speaker 1 imagine if a guy did that, he downed that butt at that bowl and then stood up and went, Excuse me for one second, and walked to the toilet. He had shit all over his bum.

Speaker 13 That's a bad date.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, you're not going to be there when he gets back. You definitely leave.
And then he sends you a photo of his bum from the toilet as well. It's got more shit on it.

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Speaker 1 I mean, so far, we've ended each section on talk of a piece of shit on a bum. So let's go on to the main course and see if we end up there as well.
That was our fault. That one was our fault, Emily.

Speaker 13 Oh, right. Main course.
Okay, again, I was losing sleep over this because what I want to go for, and it's a psychological problem I have to get past, is a honey glazed pork. Right, so years ago when

Speaker 13 we were little, my dad, instead of Christmas lunch, he said, right, instead of Christmas lunch this year, I'm going to go out and buy this beautiful piece of pork and I'm going to honey glaze it and it's going to be amazing.

Speaker 13 My dad's a really good cook. And it caused so many arguments.

Speaker 13 I'm convinced it's why my parents divorced.

Speaker 13 The build-up, he was talking about it for weeks. And we're all kind of going, yeah, I kind of just want just a normal Christmas lunch, but we're going, no, no, no, he really wants to do it.

Speaker 13 You know, mum was going, come on, your father really wants to do this. So mum was on board at the beginning, and then by the end of it, she divorced him.

Speaker 13 So it was like, it was literally, it was like she treated it like he had another woman. It was, it was the most mental thing.
And he was glazing it for about four days.

Speaker 13 I just watched like, all these problems unravel in my family because of this fucking honey glazed fucking pork.

Speaker 13 What were the the arguments about was he just being obsessive about it yeah he was being obsessive about it because you know that sort of happens doesn't it like what i've sort of seen that happen before when the husband gets really obsessed over like well it's normally the turkey isn't it for a christmas lunch yeah um they talk about how they're going to baste it and how they're going to and the wife is always kind of like oh fuck off i can't be asked to hear about this bloody turkey one more time

Speaker 1 last christmas for me yeah

Speaker 1 this is exactly what you're just you're just literally just laying out my whole life bare yeah every weekend at ed

Speaker 13 every weekend But I remember eating it and thinking, this is the most delicious thing I've ever eaten in my life. So, and I've always thought about it ever since, but I've been too scared to have it.

Speaker 13 I feel like it would curse my life.

Speaker 1 Because your mum started to get jealous of the pork and felt like it was another woman, as you said.

Speaker 1 When she had the pork, she must have also thought, like you, that it was delicious. But do you think...

Speaker 13 I don't think she'd admit it. I don't know if she, I can't remember if she admitted it.

Speaker 1 But maybe it was worse for her that it was delicious because she can taste how much he loves the pork.

Speaker 13 And she's like, well, now I'm gonna I'm gonna leave him yeah and she was like he doesn't put that sort of attention into me

Speaker 13 but it was just and I just remember this fucking ham causing so many rows so now like I I'm scared to have it again because I'm scared it will curse my life

Speaker 13 so yeah I think I think I would do that because this is the dream meal. I've never forgotten it for good reasons and bad reasons.

Speaker 1 Was it worth it? The taste?

Speaker 1 Was it so good that you don't mind your home being broken apart yeah no it was definitely the worth of worth the breakdown of my parents marriage here's what i'm going to offer you emily and i don't know you very well so apologies if this is crossing a line

Speaker 1 as a genie waiter i could make it that this is like because this is the last you know the last time you had the pork your parents got divorced and with this one how about it's the same pork But by eating it, your parents get back together.

Speaker 1 How would you like that?

Speaker 13 I'd really like that.

Speaker 13 That is a dream restaurant. That's very kind of you, Jeannie.
Thank you. No problem.
That's lovely. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The problem is, it's only if you have one helping they get back together. If you have seconds, they break up again.

Speaker 13 Oh, fuck that then. No,

Speaker 1 if you have thirds, they get back together again.

Speaker 1 That's the rule.

Speaker 13 No, no, I'm going to have to have second helpings because it's actually, even though it's gorgeous, it's still quite, it was quite, um, you have to have a lot of it, you know.

Speaker 13 So, yeah, no, fuck that. They can stay divorced.

Speaker 1 Your side dish, I feel, is going to be sweet potatoes.

Speaker 13 Yeah, yeah. And again, basic bitch, I have sweet potato fries with everything.
But, you know, I've tried these new things recently, and I always like a side that has a little bit of sweetness to it.

Speaker 13 So, like, have you ever had pumpkin karaki? Yeah, no, it's more in Japanese places, really, but I kind of have it on the as a side for anything, really.

Speaker 13 It's it's sweet pumpkin and it's like deep fat fried and it is absolutely gorgeous. And it kind of it has that, it has a similar vibe that to a sweet potato.

Speaker 13 So it just, it's like a nice sweet thing with a with like a really salty thing. So I really like my side to have a sweetness to it to like complement the salty meat.

Speaker 13 Anything sweet potato, anything pumpkin or like butternut squash, maybe like chopped butternut squash with like and with sweet potato and garlic and all that kind of stuff, all roasted.

Speaker 13 I love that kind of thing.

Speaker 1 thing or just a pile of sweet potato fries absolutely lovely that sort of thing you feel like you're getting away with having veg do you know what i mean like it's it yeah it's a vegetable side like roasted pumpkin does anyone know this yet so i always say i say i'm having sweet potato fries to be healthier but it's not is it it's not healthier well we're back to joel domet because yes i think he picked sweet potato fries but to prove a point that they're not any healthier than normal fries because he wanted to get some sort of public service announcement out to people that potatoes and sweet potatoes are the same I mean it was it was insane it was an insane choice it was all health based it was horrible

Speaker 1 disaster and then we got him back on to try and redeem himself and then he made an even worse choice the second time so did he oh no did he say a protein shake yeah that was the first episode he said a protein shake yeah the second time uh i can't remember what his drink was the second time but he he chose a main meal which he was based on an actual meal he'd recently had and he couldn't actually remember it and didn't really know what it was And it didn't go well for him yet.

Speaker 1 Again, he still gets shouted at in the street by people. Yeah, have a go at him.

Speaker 13 I know, and he said, I got trolled for life.

Speaker 13 Yeah, people get very passionate, don't they, about food and drink?

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you think you've heard the last of anything you've said on this podcast after this is over, you've got another thing coming,

Speaker 1 and I think you know what you're going to get shouted at

Speaker 1 at you the most in the street after this.

Speaker 1 Sadly, yes,

Speaker 13 oh god, but yeah, no, sweet potato vibes. I love a sweet, like a sweet potato puree or like a pumpkin puree.

Speaker 1 You can have all of that. I reckon we can give you all of those different things in one bowl if you want.

Speaker 13 That's very kind. Thank you.
I'd love that.

Speaker 1 And you've already given it a name. It's sweet potato vibes.

Speaker 1 So you can have a bowl of sweet potato vibes, which has got the fries, pumpkin croquet, puree, roasted butternut squash, all the orange sweet things in one big bowl, sweet potato vibes.

Speaker 13 Yeah, it's a bit like baby food. My ammat.

Speaker 1 Similar, yeah. A little bit like baby food.
Do you like sweet potato crisps?

Speaker 13 Yeah, all right. I think because I love sweet potatoes so much, I feel like with the crisps, it's taking away too much of the joy of the actual sweet potato.
So, I'm not really that arsed.

Speaker 13 I'd rather just have a sweet potato again, though. I say that because if I'm sort of necking a sandwich, especially the prep ones, they're so naughty for you, aren't they?

Speaker 13 But obviously, you have to have a packet of crisps with your sandwich. But if I get the vegetable crisps, I say I'm being healthier, but actually, they're about the same, just as bad, probably worse.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think pretty sandwiches are fine for you, but they're probably worse for you if you're, and I quote you just a second ago, necking it.

Speaker 13 Yeah, like necking it. I can't not.
The Prette sandwiches,

Speaker 13 I eat them in like three bites. I love them so much.
You get those big baguettes. I hate the name of it, though.
Mature Prette pickle. That's the cheese and the pickle and everything.

Speaker 1 Is that your favourite one?

Speaker 13 Yeah, that's my favourite one. And it's got like cress in it.
Cress. Cress is like a forgotten joy.
Like I forgot about cress.

Speaker 13 And then I had a big, I started eating the big forgets from Pret and it had Crest and I was like, how have I forgotten about this lovely little bit of crest?

Speaker 13 Like, now, if I make a sandwich, gotta have Crest in it. Love a bit of Crest.

Speaker 1 Cress?

Speaker 13 Yeah, Cress. Honestly.
Are you kidding me? I swear to God, it's a forgotten little joy, Cress.

Speaker 1 What's the joy? If Cress was nice, they wouldn't have to jazz it up by making it like pretend hair coming out of. Yeah.

Speaker 13 Yeah, true. Do you remember making cress at school? It was like the first thing that you had to be responsible for, a little thing of cress.

Speaker 1 I'm surprised we've never had Cress as the secret ingredient. Yeah, good point

Speaker 13 crest

Speaker 1 honestly try it i swear to god put a bit i've tried it no we've tried cress ever leave for the first time

Speaker 1 even before i was 25 i'd have crest but re re like it give it a rebirth in your life cress every time i've ordered something somewhere and it's come with cress on it the first thing i'll do is get all the cress off of all the bits that i'm doing

Speaker 1 how how do you like this imagine this scenario yeah you're lying in bed he turns to you and says back in a minute i'm just gonna go to the toilet he gets up he walks out, you have a little look at his butt, and there's crest growing out of it.

Speaker 13 Crest. Oh, no, no.

Speaker 1 He's got a crest butt.

Speaker 13 I think I'd be alright with that.

Speaker 13 Yeah, I'd rather that than a piece of shit.

Speaker 1 Just on the top of the cheeks, not like the whole...

Speaker 13 Do you mean coming out of the crack?

Speaker 1 Well, it can be if you want, yeah. I imagine just a clump on one of the cheeks.
That's what I was imagining, like a little crest head, but

Speaker 1 you mean in place of his butt hair.

Speaker 13 Yeah, the crack, like an ass strip.

Speaker 1 You would like it just coming out of the crack there, like that.

Speaker 13 I'm not saying I would like that. I'm saying that's how I imagined it.

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Speaker 1 Your dream drink. We've talked about how much you're loving the the pubs being open again and hitting the boozer.
Yeah. Your head doubling in size, tripling in size.

Speaker 1 Is this drink going to reduce the size of your head or increase it?

Speaker 13 I think I've just learned in life most things I drink will always increase my head size. I've literally eaten out and been drinking out since the 12th of April.

Speaker 13 So I'm trying to think what is it that I've been drinking most of recently. Do you know, I went through a summer where I drank nothing but Provence Rosé.

Speaker 13 It was my favorite thing in the world, but I drank it so much that I think I overdid it. So I'm really into my white wine at the moment.
So I'm going to go with a really cold glass of Gavi.

Speaker 13 I love a Gavi, or is it Gavi? Gavi, Gavi.

Speaker 1 I go with Gavi. You said it with confidence.
You said it with authority.

Speaker 13 Yeah, Gavi. And also, I love a Chardonnay.
And so I'm really into my white wines at the moment. A really lovely cold glass of white wine, either a Chardonnay or a Gavi.
Gorgeous.

Speaker 13 You need a glass of wine to give you that hit that you want. Like if you have like a, I don't start with a cocktail.

Speaker 13 You know, some people start with cocktails before they're about to have savory food i don't get that thought process a cocktail i'll go for a cocktail if i'm going out for cocktails or i have a cocktail instead of a dessert when i'm being good corn cocktail

Speaker 13 no no just a pro just a cocktail

Speaker 13 um but yeah i'll have i'd have like a lychee martini or something like that but not before a savoury meal. Do you know what I mean by that?

Speaker 1 Well, then your brain's ready for sweet, right? So if I have a cocktail before a meal, it'll be something like a martini, just straight booze.

Speaker 13 yeah nothing sweet about it i don't really like sweet cocktails anyway you know you're people always complain about how little the cocktails are but actually it's like kind of all you need it's all you need you don't want to have 10 drinks that all taste like melted celeros well james does definitely yes please oh really yes please do you eat the lychee if you eat a lychee martini yeah or the or the olive in there in a martini with a with an olive oh gorgeous but yeah no i like a nice dry drink dry white wine when i'm sitting looking at the menu oh god it's the best feeling ever isn't it sitting there with a menu and a and ordering a nice drink it's just it's my favorite feeling in the world love it you said you've been drinking out a lot who is the best person that you've had a drink with in that time do you know

Speaker 13 i'm really lucky and like all my mates are legends so i would say and it's it sounds so cheesy but just seeing my friends again and being able to do that no no no no no

Speaker 1 one person please

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're not going to get away with that, unfortunately, Emily. You've got to pick one person.
I'm voting for it.

Speaker 13 Okay, one person. Okay.

Speaker 13 Can I say my mum?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can if you want to sound like a fucking saddle. Yeah, if that if that's your actual answer as an adult.

Speaker 1 I think it's my mum.

Speaker 13 My mum is so fucking jokes and we have so much fun and she loves getting pissed and she loves eating and it's it's yeah just anyone that's that wants to get pissed and eat loads of food and not worry about it

Speaker 13 and that is my mum

Speaker 1 always blows my mind when people have parents who like to get pissed with them oh yeah my mum's worse than me she's brilliant and i'm not judging i think it's cool but like i've never had my parents they they like they like boozing i even think they like getting drunk but not intentionally with me oh really i can't even imagine sitting down with either one of them and we're like we're getting hammered let's do this

Speaker 1 Every time people are like, Yeah, go out with my dad, we get pissed together. I'm like, What the hell? I don't think me, like, certainly not my mum.

Speaker 1 My dad, we would go out for dinner and we would get drunk, but the decision wouldn't be, we are going out to get pissed tonight, but we would, we would.

Speaker 13 Oh, no. See, see, when I go home, when I go back home, you know, normally you sort of go back home to recharge and to kind of rehabilitate yourself for a bit and

Speaker 13 drink more water and you know, and sort of be looked after a bit. I know that if I go, when I go back home, I come back two stone heavier and just really fucking tired

Speaker 13 and I'm completely out of sorts. And I'm like, oh God, I need, I actually need to rehabilitate myself back in my own London home away from my family.

Speaker 13 They're just, they're party people and they, yeah, they love a drink and they love eating and it's so fun. But every time I go back home, it's Chris, it's like Christmas.
Amazing.

Speaker 13 And obviously not through the pandemic, but like, I think that's what I've missed most, just it being Christmas every weekend.

Speaker 13 We go to my Auntie Amy's house and it's just, it's literally just a three-day muss-up with like with all the family and roast dinners and lasagnas and

Speaker 13 just loads of booze, loads of booze. And it's the best.

Speaker 1 Nice accompaniments to loads of booze, isn't it? Roast dinners and lasagnas all the time. Oh, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Another lasagna? I'd actually like to do that now. I'll just have like two days of just drinking, but all we're eating is lasagnas all the time.

Speaker 13 keep them coming i remember the last time we all went out together as a family so it was like a saturday uh saturday morning we all went out for breakfast together and we ended up having a beer with breakfast or a wine whatever

Speaker 13 and then we we then just we drank all day so then we ended up staying out for breakfast lunch and dinner and just like went to different restaurants all around the village well that is my that is my absolute dream a three restaurant day hammered yes and with each meal we were going are we really gonna do this it started so it was like a breakfasty meal in the morning you know poached eggs and avocado and mimosas all of that and then we went to went to a pub afterwards and thought well we won't we won't eat because we've just had a nice big breakfast we'll just have like a few pints at the pub literally three pints in we're like should get a bit of lunch

Speaker 13 and then after that you go well tell you what we probably won't get dinner we'll just have a few more drinks you know and then we'll head off and then it gets to 6 p.m we're going for a fucking curry 100 going for a curry you know that is the complete opposite of how anyone else would have that day.

Speaker 1 So, everyone else would be eating a meal and then go, go on, we'll have another drink. Will we? Come on, let's have another drink.

Speaker 1 And your family are going, well, we're obviously drinking all day, but let's. Oh, god, fuck it.
We'll have a meal. We are naughty.

Speaker 13 Yeah, let's have another meal.

Speaker 1 We'll eat some food to sustain all this alcohol. I could force down another lasagna.

Speaker 1 I really shouldn't. Tis my third of the day.

Speaker 1 This will soak up all the alcohol. For an all-day session, what are you drinking?

Speaker 13 All-day session, right? Ooh. Okay, so I'll start with like a mimosa or whatever.
Yeah, a couple of mimosas. And then I'll get to the pub.
And I'm probably hungover on a Saturday.

Speaker 13 So I'll have like a pint of amstil with like a bit of lime in it in the top, but like a shan, a shandy sort of eye, like maybe a drop of lemonade.

Speaker 13 Just to, I can't, I don't go straight in there with a pint. It has to have some kind of like nice sort of fizzing, like fizzy puff in there, give it a bit of

Speaker 13 sweetness to make makes it taste a little bit more childish. I'll have a couple of those and then that's when I feel absolutely fine again.

Speaker 13 And then like the bottles of wine will probably start coming maybe some champagne love champagne then i'll have wine with the food and then always whenever we go we go to the same curry house called the amptil tandoori in bedfordshire at about six o'clock and i always have and i stand by this with my curry i have matthias rose it's about four quid in the supermarket and it is it's so nice with a curry it's like and often i don't like sweet wine at all it's not really sweet it's just got like a tiny hint of sweetness to it it's pink and really fizzy and it's just fucking lovely.

Speaker 13 And I remember growing up, my parents just living on Mattias Rose and we just went out for curries all the time.

Speaker 13 And even on school nights, you know, we were the kids that stank of garlic and like garlic garn the next day in class on like a Tuesday, like, oh, so tired.

Speaker 1 You can't sell that like it's a universal observation for kids who smell.

Speaker 1 You know, everyone's got them in that school. The kids who stink of garlic.

Speaker 13 Yeah, no, we were the kids because we were always out with our parents.

Speaker 13 Like, they, because they, they went on tour a lot and stuff, and then they'd come home and it'd be like nine o'clock, and we'd be getting ready for bed because if we had school, and our parents are like, right, we've been away for three weeks, we're taking, we're taking you all out for dinner, and we'd go for a curry, and it'd be the best thing ever, and then we'd miss the bus the next day, um, rushing to school, late for registration.

Speaker 13 And I was always late because I was, you know, first on the register, so I was fussed.

Speaker 13 But it was great, and I'd just be sitting there so tired, and everyone kind of going, Emily, can you stay awake, please? And I'm just thinking about the lovely night I had before, so didn't care

Speaker 13 it makes my it makes my parents sound insane I can't agree they are

Speaker 13 wonderful they're the best parents ever they are the best parents

Speaker 1 they sound irresponsible

Speaker 1 oh yeah but brilliant yeah in a great way in the best way

Speaker 1 we arrive at your dessert very exciting although I'm a little bit nervous because when you were talking about your family's you know big days out and stuff there wasn't any desserts feature in there It was a lot of savoury, a lot of booze, but no desserts made an appearance.

Speaker 13 But you know, if we do have a dessert, it's a few of them in the middle and we're kind of sharing. No one really has an individual dessert.

Speaker 13 But if I am going to have a dessert, the one thing I absolutely will not do, which I think you'll appreciate this, a cheese board is not a dessert.

Speaker 13 So

Speaker 13 that is, that is a, that's obviously, we all know that. I think it's psychotic to order a cheese board as a dessert.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. is psychotic?

Speaker 13 It's psychotic.

Speaker 1 What a shame from Emily.

Speaker 13 It's a meal.

Speaker 13 I'll have it like an hour after a dessert

Speaker 13 or like once you're home and then you're having a night cat. Cheese board, lovely.
And that's an extra added part to the evening. Yes.
But not as a dessert. No.

Speaker 1 Well, your family probably have them with their breakfast beers.

Speaker 1 It's a lovely dessert. It's a lovely way to round off a meal.
Thank you, Emily.

Speaker 1 Do you think?

Speaker 13 Okay, no. Cheese boards are a beauty of life.
Absolutely.

Speaker 13 But that is, is, that is a few, that's like two hours when you're home from the meal and you're all having a nightcap and you've got something on the telly and then a cheese board is made. Gorgeous.

Speaker 1 Or if you don't have a dessert at the restaurant, go home and have a cheeseboard by all means.

Speaker 13 Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1 So in a way, in a way, it's a dessert. No, you should still have, no, you should still have it.

Speaker 1 Because if you've not had dessert and you go home and have a cheese board, then the cheese board is the dessert. So thank you very much.
No, but what are you saying, Ed?

Speaker 1 What if you have your main course, you go home. I know what you're going to do.
You go to sleep. You wake up the next morning.
Yeah, and then you have a bowl of cereal.

Speaker 1 Is that that these are a fry up yeah you have a fry up is that is that your dessert the fry no because there's a sleep in the middle

Speaker 1 oh so if there's sleep in the middle it's different yes and it's a different different time if it's in the evening and you've had it straight after your main course then it's a dessert what ever was saying was different time but not straight after no it's in the same quadrant of time it's still in the evening it's still in the evening it's a car journey between these yeah but it's it's a different part of the evening

Speaker 1 the evening's the evening as far as i'm concerned oh no because there's all different sections of an evening how many sections are there in an evening take us through the sections okay so there's like there's there's pre you know pre-drink right so this is all going to be drinks based isn't it yeah yeah amazing what parts of the evening are they well obviously the whole evening is divided up into when i'm having my drink

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 pre-drinks first drinks second drinks third drinks lasagna for

Speaker 13 the first drinks that is the first part of the evening everyone like you get you've just got together and you're having a drink to say hello that's the first part of the evening I'm actually sort of thinking about when I'm on holiday, there's more sections of an evening.

Speaker 13 So

Speaker 13 there's that, you will meet on the balcony, let's say, or the, you know, the terrace, whatever, and you're having a little drink. So there's that bit.
There's then walking to the restaurant, heaven.

Speaker 13 You know, that sort of time, like at about sort of eight o'clock in the evening, and it's like, oh, gorgeous.

Speaker 13 You're a bit sunburned, and everyone's like walking down to the restaurant, one's chatting. That's a bit of a vibe.
That's the next bit.

Speaker 1 That walk is nice. Are you taking a drink with you for the walk? Yeah.

Speaker 13 Yeah. We call it a bot for the germ.

Speaker 1 it's a

Speaker 1 a bot for the journal i know james so well now that when i hear something i know he's gonna he's he's gonna absolutely love it and it's all he's gonna want to talk about a bot for the journal james a bot for the journey i mean

Speaker 1 i'll tell you what you wouldn't want to see on a bot for the journal a bot that is on a journal you would not want to see a

Speaker 1 bot i'm that's something i'm using that i'm using bot for the journal yeah

Speaker 13 we're like should we get take a little bot for the

Speaker 1 Who started saying that?

Speaker 1 When did it become a thing that you all say that to each other?

Speaker 13 Me and my mates, we started saying this like 10 years ago when we started going out, like to, actually, no, it must have been longer now.

Speaker 13 Basically, when we started going out clubbing, you know, we created Bot for the German because on the way in the taxi with all the screaming going on, you need a pissy bottle of cheap wine, you know, to be drinking on the way.

Speaker 13 It's now not a bottle of pissy cheap, it would be something nice that we have now. But um yeah that's where it came from bot for the journey you know piling in a cab and all kind of

Speaker 13 like a gaggle but you're saying on holiday this is a walk right a walk from the balcony to the restaurant yeah how long is the walk the journe that you need a whole bot well to be honest now it's it's not really now a bottle it's it can just be like a little plastic cup of something that you've been drinking but because bot for the journal it's just evolved it's still called bot for the journey but it doesn't necessarily mean you have to have a bottle it just means a drink for the journey it's nothing else works i've tried I've gone through all the different options in my head.

Speaker 1 Nothing works.

Speaker 1 Gla for the journey just doesn't work.

Speaker 1 Everything else is like one syllable, glass, cup, mug. So you just have to go bot for the journey.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Because it's

Speaker 1 the only one you can shorten anyway.

Speaker 13 And it's lovely. So now, so walking down to the, to a restaurant with, with a drink in hand, with your bot for the journey.

Speaker 13 B for the J, sometimes we've shortened it to.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, that's going to get confusing. So don't start going.

Speaker 1 Anyone over here in that that girls with their family.

Speaker 13 What's so funny, though, is that we've been using it for so long now.

Speaker 13 Like, my mum and like my aunts and everyone say it as well, but it's it's we now say it very seriously because we don't, there's no irony to it anymore. We're saying it very seriously.

Speaker 13 We go, Have you got a pot for the journey? Okay, so like when you sort of hear like mum or like my auntie Amy saying, going, darling, have you got a pot for the journey?

Speaker 1 Yeah, of course. We've heard about your mum and your auntie before, and it does not surprise me that they have adopted the drinking slang of you and your uni buddies.

Speaker 1 You and your uni mates.

Speaker 13 It's just a very normal thing we say now.

Speaker 13 Mum will go, love,

Speaker 13 love, love, love. Have you got a pop for the journey? Yeah, yep, got it.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 13 And then we walk to the restaurant.

Speaker 1 Your sister goes on the walk with a full lasagna under her arms. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You got a las for the journey.

Speaker 13 Our other meal, our other meal that Auntie Amy cooks us, las and sal. So we call it las and sal, which is like Sunday lasagna and salad that we love.

Speaker 13 And so if we're having like a las and sal day at Auntie Amy's,

Speaker 13 we know that's going to be a big old piss-up as well.

Speaker 1 A lasie Sunday. Yeah.

Speaker 13 It used to be the pasta piss-up and then it changed to she started making these really nice lasagnas. And now we call it the las and sal, like after a bit of las and sale.

Speaker 13 Like when you you know when you're having las and sale at Auntie Amy's, it's going to go off.

Speaker 1 But it used to be called a pasta piss-up, just to be clear. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the pasta piss-up.

Speaker 13 The great British pasta piss-up.

Speaker 1 And now your mum always checks that you've got a bot for the gern, the way that most people's mummers check if they've got their keys or something like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Got your you're bot for the journey, darling.
So far, in an evening, we've got pre-drinks and we've got bot for the journey, yeah.

Speaker 13 Bot for the journal, and then that's that's the second bit. And then getting to the restaurant, sitting down, having a browse of the menu, and chatting-that's the next bit.

Speaker 13 Yeah, and then the meal, and that, oh, actually, no, there's five because then there's the meal, and then there's a bit after the meal.

Speaker 13 So, then there's five five elements to it to an evening, but after the meal, yeah, is there one bit or is there another journal and then the you know, nightcap, yeah, the nightcap, which then turns into like a full kind of dance around the living room and or in the kitchen, wherever we are.

Speaker 13 And then that's another, that's a whole other kind of part of the evening. That's when the cheese board is out.
Yeah. And that, yeah, the cheese board and the dance.

Speaker 13 Yeah, so the element five of an evening would be the cheese board and maybe a Baileys. Nice little Baileys.
And the nightcaps.

Speaker 13 But it's quite ironic because I've only just learned that a nightcap is like one, isn't it? So I've been saying my whole life, should we have a few nightcaps now? Like as if if

Speaker 13 I just thought nightcaps mean more drinking. So, a nightcap is actually only meant to be one, which it never, never is.

Speaker 1 Do you call nightcaps butt for the bed?

Speaker 1 We still haven't found out what your dessert is yet.

Speaker 13 Okay, my dessert, again, I've got a bit basic because there's times where you can have show-off mad desserts where it's got, you know, crazy things on it.

Speaker 13 And I like a sticky chuffy pudding with salted caramel ice cream. The salted caramel ice cream is kind of the showy offy bit.
But yeah, just quite classic. And you can't go wrong.

Speaker 13 And again, I don't think I've ever had a bad sticky toppy pudding ever. I've had a bad, like, because I love rhubarb crumble, but I've had a bad crumble before.
So, you know,

Speaker 13 it's not hot enough sometimes. A bit too much, the ratio of fruit to crumble pisses me off sometimes.

Speaker 1 What's the correct ratios of rhubarb to crumble?

Speaker 13 I think it has to be fairly the same. I think it has to have the same amount of rhubarb.
Actually, no, when I was young, when I was little, I wanted a bit more crumble.

Speaker 13 Nowadays, I don't mind it just being like a very sort of light topping of crumble because I quite like the sharpness of the fruit. That is a, you know, it's quite a bit more grown up, isn't it?

Speaker 13 But yes, sticky tummy pudding, sticky tummy pudding, salty caramel,

Speaker 13 salty caramel ice cream, and a dessert wine. Love a dessert wine.
Am I allowed a dessert wine?

Speaker 1 I think I fear what would happen if we got in your way. So, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1 You need a bot for the journey between courses.

Speaker 1 There's technically, you know, it's not a physical journey, but it's an emotional journey between

Speaker 1 dessert. So you do need a bot for the journey.

Speaker 13 So yeah, a muscat dessert wine. I think that's what you do.

Speaker 13 With

Speaker 13 a sticky top filling, salted caramel ice cream.

Speaker 1 Boom.

Speaker 1 To go with the prawn cocktail, quite a sort of old school British menu as well.

Speaker 13 I've surprised myself, really. I think, because I...
I like to experiment with food all the time. I love it so much.
It brings me so much joy. I love it.
And I I always experiment. I love to cook.

Speaker 13 I experiment with so many different things. But I think if we're just thinking about dream meal, I just don't think overcomplicate it too much.

Speaker 13 Keep it just really like, yeah, I love a good old classic. Right.

Speaker 1 I'll read you your menu back now and see how you feel about it. Okay.
Here we go. Sparkling water, loads of ice with lemon.
and cucumber and mint and strawberries in it.

Speaker 1 Problems of bread, you want some

Speaker 1 bread, I believe you said, with some olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Starter, prawn cocktail with small and big prawns.
Main course, honey glazed pork, and that gets your parents back together. But

Speaker 1 not if you have seconds. If you have seconds,

Speaker 1 that's not happening. Side, sweet potato vibes.

Speaker 1 That was sweet potato fries with pumpkin

Speaker 1 karaki karoke?

Speaker 13 Kuroke, karoke, karaki, I think, one of them.

Speaker 1 Roasted butternut squash, sweet potato puree. Drink a cold glass of white wine.
Gavi. Dessert, sticky toffee pudding with salted caramel ice cream and a dessert wine.
Muscat.

Speaker 1 And I'm assuming at some point during all that, there's a bot for the journal. There's got to be.
Yeah.

Speaker 13 Do you mean at the meal or the one that I'm taking home?

Speaker 1 There's such a difference in the way we say bot for the journal and the way you say it because you say it. Well, yeah, you've been saying it for ages, right? And this is so new to us.
We love...

Speaker 1 I don't know if you've noticed, Emily, we love saying bot for the journal. Yeah.
We just want to get it right.

Speaker 13 It'll be one of those things you'll just, you'll say it so much, you just won't even think about it you'll just be like are we we're getting the bot for the journey like

Speaker 13 it's not you won't you'll stop there'll come point where you stop smiling when you say it because it actually becomes quite an important part of your life yeah yeah it's crucial yeah well i i would say that probably before all this you've got a bot for the journey because you're going on the way to the restaurant so yeah what is the bot for the journe for this particular meal the bot for the journe for this particular meal would be I think I'm going to go with a bottle of champagne, like a Verve Clico.

Speaker 13 That's showing off, innit? Sorry about that. Or a moe.

Speaker 1 I like a moe.

Speaker 13 Oh, actually, no, a lantern. I like a pink, sparkling lantern.

Speaker 1 Bot for the gern. For the germ.

Speaker 13 Yeah, that's my bot for the gern. That with a straw.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, you might want to clean that bot.

Speaker 13 There's a piece of shit on it.

Speaker 1 I love it. That's it.
I can't believe that. I can't believe that's going to be the end of the episode.
Watch your bot. Yeah, of course.
You might want to clean your bot. There's a piece of shit on it.

Speaker 1 Thank you very much for coming to the dream restaurant, Emily.

Speaker 1 thank you so much

Speaker 1 thank you

Speaker 1 thank you so much

Speaker 1 well there we are james a brilliant episode with emily a tac a good menu too i thought a great ep for the journey a great ep for the journal i'll be using bot for the journal i know you will be um it's one of the many things that's been adopted into my vocabulary bot for the journal ginton and probably some other things ginton for the journal emily did not say salt and shake crisps She didn't even really want those sweet potato crisps.

Speaker 1 She wasn't having that, so she didn't even come close to being kicked out of the recipe. We bought up crisps a lot.
I bought up pork cocktail crisps. That was naughty of me.
So I was like

Speaker 1 into crisp territory, trying to put crisps in her head. Couldn't she would not be shaken.
like the salt. Very good.
Lovely. Thank you very much, Emily.

Speaker 1 The second series of Emily's TV show, The Emily Atac Show, on ITV2, starts in October, so keep an eye out for that. And she's going on tour from the end of September.

Speaker 1 And you can go on the Live Nation website for ticket details get a drink in the main foyer of the theater then call it the bot for the journey down to your seat as you're walking from the bar to your seat know that you're on the journey yeah you've got a bot and maybe if you want to like really have a laugh by a fake poo from a joke shop stick it to your bum and then when you get up to go to the toilet during the show yeah just don't reference it just walk down the aisle and emily will be able to see that you've got a piece of shit on your ass i can't believe you of all people is encouraging people to get up to go go to the toilet in the middle of a show.

Speaker 1 Not only that, but to attach a fake piece of shit to your ass.

Speaker 1 Yes, I should point out, if you haven't seen me live, I would absolutely hate that behavior. I'd kick off.
You don't like it when people leave you things on the stage.

Speaker 1 Refuse to do the rest of the show. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Felt bad once someone left me a cabbage on stage and for a laugh I kicked it off the stage and then they burst into tears and left.

Speaker 1 So I think overall best idea is just go and see Emily live, just watch it, enjoy it, laugh and then leave. Be a good audience member.
Be a good audience. Laugh, then leave.
That's what I would say.

Speaker 1 Also, if you want to show your appreciation to us boys, you can buy some merch. We have a good range of merch on the off-menu website, offmenupodcast.co.uk.

Speaker 1 A lovely range of t-shirts, etc., tea towels. Tea towels.
T-shirts. Tea bags.
No tea bags yet. Mugs.
Tea mugs. Tea mugs.
Tea for tote. Tea for mug.
So do go and check that out.

Speaker 1 We really like our merch and I like seeing people wear it. So do that.
Yeah. My sister went to Give Blood once and there was someone waiting to give blood who was wearing an off-menu t-shirt.

Speaker 1 I love it. My nephews couldn't wrap their head around it.
Their uncle was suddenly on

Speaker 1 a stranger's t-shirt.

Speaker 1 Well, thank you very much for listening. We will be back probably next week, I'd imagine, James, depending on when this is going out.
That's usually how we do it. We do it like that.

Speaker 1 So do come back next week and have a little listen. But until then, keep on eating.
Keep on eating. Keep on treating.

Speaker 18 If you enjoyed this podcast, can I interest you in a totally different podcast that's not about food and doesn't have James A Caster or Ed Gamble, but I would say is quite fun.

Speaker 1 No, thank you. Oh, okay.

Speaker 18 Not to worry. If you change your mind at a later date, it's called Nobody Panic.
Right. It's hosted by me, Tessa Coates, and my friend Stevie Martin.

Speaker 1 Which is weirdly me.

Speaker 18 And we tackle all kinds of how-tos from big things to small things.

Speaker 14 How to stop saying sorry, how to poo, how to break up with someone, how to quit your job, how to relax, how to have a conversation, how to deal with unrequited love.

Speaker 1 A smorgasbord of thing. Absolutely.

Speaker 2 We have a nice time.

Speaker 18 People seem to like it. If you like, you can come and see what all the fuss is about.

Speaker 1 All that fuss.

Speaker 14 What's it called? Nobody panic. You can find it on all of the podcast apps that you would imagine it would be on.

Speaker 1 Please have a listen.

Speaker 2 November is all about gathering, friends giving feasts, Thanksgiving dinners, and football weekends.

Speaker 2 Total Wine and More has everything you need for your table and your toasts, with thousands of wines, spirits, and beers at the lowest prices.

Speaker 2 From bold reds to sparklers, you'll find the perfect wines to raise a glass this season.

Speaker 2 And when it comes to spirits, Total Wine has you covered from smooth bourbons and tequilas to all the essentials for your holiday cocktails.

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Speaker 2 See TotalWine.com for details. Spirits not sold in Virginia and North Carolina.
Drink responsibly.

Speaker 3 Be 21.

Speaker 17 Hannah Burner, are those the cozy Tommy John pajamas you're buying?

Speaker 12 Paige DeSorbo, they are Tommy John. And yes, I'm stocking up because they make the best holiday gifts.

Speaker 3 So generous.

Speaker 12 Well, I'm a generous girly, especially when it comes to me. So I'm grabbing the softest sleepwear, comfiest underwear, and best-fitting loungewear.

Speaker 17 So nothing for your bestie.

Speaker 12 Of course, I'm getting my dad, Tommy John. Oh, and you, of course.

Speaker 17 It's giving holiday gifting made easy.

Speaker 12 Exactly. Cozy, comfy, everyone's happy.
Don't wait. Shop Tommy John's biggest savings ever and get 50% off site-wide at tommyjohn.com/slash comfort.

Speaker 15 Why choose a sleep number smart bed?

Speaker 3 Can I make my site softer?

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Speaker 1 Hello, I'm Lucy Beaumont and I'm Sam Campbell, as a matter of fact. Perfect Brains is one of the most enchanting podcasts.
The effect it has on people is astounding.

Speaker 19 That is what we've heard, isn't it? Yeah.

Speaker 1 This changes people's lives.

Speaker 19 If you had to sum it up, how would you sum it up?

Speaker 1 An in-depth look at sumo wrestling and the scandals. Because it used to be considered so honourable, like sumos and they all live together, sumos.

Speaker 19 No two podcasts are the same. Do you remember that one where I just messaged loads of Derek's? I don't think people know that.
I emailed a hundred Derek's.

Speaker 1 I don't think it was Derek's. I thought it was Brian.
I'm so impressed. Yeah, Lucy emailed every Brian on Facebook.

Speaker 19 Our podcast is out every Friday, so it's really easy to remember. It's like if you've got an office job, it's the first day you feel alive again.

Speaker 1 Lucy and Sam's Perfect Brains, one of the hottest podcasts. People are going crazy for this podcast.

Speaker 19 Yeah, please give it a listen.

Speaker 1 We're loaded up on buzzballs, we've got a laboo boo in both hands, and we are ready to screech.