Ep 96: Thanyia Moore

James, huge news from the world of off-menu and indeed the world of the world.

Yes.

Ever heard of the Royal Albert Hall?

I have.

We've done live shows there.

And guess what?

We're doing more live shows there next year.

Sure, a lot of them are sold out already.

But we thought, hey, throw these guys a bone.

Let's put on one final Royal Albert Hall show in that run.

The show will be on Monday, the 16th of March.

It's going to be a tasting menu, a returning guest coming back, receiving the menu of another previous guest.

Those shows have been a lot of fun.

We cannot wait to do them live.

Who will we pull out of our little magic bag?

You'll have to come along on the 16th of March to find out.

If I'm correct in thinking, presale tickets go on pre-sale on the 10th of September.

Pre-sale tickets are 10th of September at 10 a.m.

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So if you miss out on the pre-sale, don't forget general sale is only two days later.

The day in between is for reflecting.

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Welcome to the Off-Menu podcast, where we take the finest chat meat and smoke it with the wood of fun over an hour and then create the most wonderful tender podcast available.

Hello, James.

Hello, Edge.

I heard a little bit of, you know,

your confidence wavered halfway through that.

Yes.

Yes.

You brought it home.

Yes,

it was towards the end I hadn't worked out what it was making.

And then I realised it's the podcast, isn't it?

And then I said wonderful tender podcast, which doesn't...

I mean, none of it made sense, but sort of tender podcast was really, really the bottom of the old barrel there.

Not many people describe this podcast as tender but i wish they would yes exactly sorry and hello it's a podcast where we are in the dream restaurant we invite in a guest and we ask them their favourite ever start a main course dessert side dish and drink and this week's guest that was really good james i'm sorry to interrupt your flow but you did it all in the right order and you did it quickly and it was great well done if i did it in the wrong order but i did do it quickly it was really good well anyway it was so slick i didn't notice it was in the wrong order thank you ed i was trying to do it as tenderly as possible oh I like it.

Our special guest this week is

Tanya Moore.

Tanya Moore, a wonderful comedian.

She's been on loads of stuff.

She's very funny.

She's been on Mot the Week.

She's been on Dane Baptiste Famous.

She's been on Mo Gilligan's Black British and Funny.

Just, you've got to go and watch all of her stuff.

She's fantastic.

We've now got her in the Dream Restaurant.

We can't wait to hear what she's going to choose.

I'm very excited to have her in the Dream Restaurant.

Although, as always, there is a secret ingredient.

If she says it, she's gone.

She's out of here.

We don't care how funny she is.

She's gone.

Sorry.

And the secret ingredient this week is dark fruit cider.

This was suggested by a listener.

I'm not really a dark fruit cider slash cider guy at all, really.

No, you know, I don't drink much cider, generally speaking.

But

when the dark fruit ciders come out, or any of the fruit ciders came out, I was like, I bet this would be right up my street.

This would be delicious.

I've got Sweet Tooth.

Disgusted.

Really?

Because I would say any site, they do like weird, like, salted caramel ciders and stuff.

And I would have thought,

that's so up your street.

Two sickly man.

I've got a sweet tooth, not a sickly tooth.

That was suggested by Joe Bleasdale on Twitter.

Thank you very much, Joe.

Wonderful suggestion.

If you would like to suggest a secret ingredient, try and say that.

It's really fun.

For us to do it.

You can go on our Twitter offline official on Twitter.

You too can have your name shouted in a sort of football chant by James.

Bleasdale.

Bleasedale.

It's a lot of fun.

It does feel nice to say it like that.

I bet Bleasedale's done that himself.

Bleasedale's over the moon with that.

I bet he said that in the past.

I bet he's like, oh, yeah, they're doing what I do when I say my name.

Yeah.

Bleasedale.

What do you think if, like, in a sort of scenario where everyone's like, who's here?

Who's in the room?

Yeah.

Blesdale.

He does it to Vladimir.

Bleasdale.

And they're like, yeah, there he is.

Or other people are shouting that to him across the street.

Blues Dale.

It feels good to say.

It does feel good.

Well, thank you.

Blues Dale.

Like I say, if you've got your own secret ingredient at Off Menu Official on Twitter is the place to go.

But now, let's hear the Off Menu menu of Tanya Moore.

Tanya Moore.

Tanya, welcome to the Dream Restaurant.

Thank you.

Thanks for having me.

Welcome, Tanya Moore, to the Dream Restaurant.

We've been expecting you for some time.

There's the Genie welcoming you.

A wonderful welcome there, Genie, I've got to say.

Quite a good sound effect.

One of our better sound effects this week.

Yeah, I was just thinking, because Tanya, quite a, I mean, you should feel privileged, really, because quite often it's a bit of a damp squib, a bit of a light squirt

from the lamp there.

What?

Are you offended by that, James?

We've never said that before.

Well, because I don't want to do you down at the beginning of the episode.

You've never said it on an episode or off an episode to me.

That's never been.

But you've nailed it now.

I didn't think it was good.

I thought there was quite a good exactly.

So let's focus on that.

Yeah, I thought the actual sound was good.

Yeah, sorry, Tanya.

I didn't mean this to be an argument straight away.

I was trying to compliment.

This is what happens when you try and compliment James.

He was nagging me, wasn't he?

Tanya, you'll back me up on this.

He was nagging me there.

I just arrived.

How are we doing?

Say, I'm Lee.

What did I miss?

Oh, you missed a meeting.

He came up to me

and he was like, oh, well done.

Usually you're rubbish.

Oh.

No, I didn't say that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sorry, Tanya.

Welcome to the Dream Restaurant.

This is your dream meal.

You don't need to be

hearing us bickering.

Are you a foodie?

Do you enjoy food?

Massive foodie.

Love food.

My mum is a chef.

My best friend's a chef.

And we eat lots of different foods, all kinds of foods.

Your mum's a chef?

Yeah.

We had no idea.

That's not why we booked you for this, but this is great.

I love it.

Tell me more about your mum as a chef and what she cooks.

What's her best dishes?

Tell me everything.

Oh, well, she cooks everything.

So, growing up, we used to celebrate all of the national dishes, so like Chinese New Year and all the kinds.

So, we'd eat all the different types of foods and just travel in the kitchen, really.

And I, I know, even after all of that, my favorite meal my mum makes is a cottage pie, it's just really bloody.

What's her secret?

What makes it edge or the other cottage pies?

It's just the right amount of everything, the right amount of potato to the mince ratio.

There's a little bit of cheese in the potato, and then it's on top as well with the right amount of crust.

The potato is still soft and fluffy, and then the mince is rich, and the gravy's rich, and then you've got the vegetables.

It's just right, it's right.

Now, straight away, I know it's going to be a good episode, a good food episode because that was a great description of cottage pie there by Tanya.

Now, I don't know, I'm not normally a cottage pie guy.

I find it a bit bland.

Like there's a place for it sometimes, but the way she just described cottage pie, I was like, I think I love cottage pie.

In cookery class in school, I made a cottage pie really early.

Well, I didn't make early doors, one of our lessons.

And my mum was absolutely appalled by this.

One of the first lessons.

in our cookery class was ready meals.

They just made us go out and buy a ready meal, bring it in a microwave.

And that was a lesson.

What?

In my cookery class.

So, like, yeah, lesson one.

And I went out and I bought a cottage pie.

And then I came back, I microwaved it and ate it.

And it was really, really salty.

That's miserable.

Do you have on the curriculum?

The first lesson in a cookery class is just don't do any cooking then.

Call for a takeaway is the next lesson.

Was that at school?

Did you go to an actual building or something?

My mum was appalled.

I came back and really proudly told her I made a cottage pie in school.

She was was like, Mike, tell me how you make it.

You open the microwave, you pierce the film lid.

That's very important.

Yes, she was not happy.

We don't have a microwave.

We moved like about 18 months ago, and there's no microwave here, and there's no room for a microwave.

So it's weird.

I don't miss it, and I certainly don't miss piercing the film lid.

I think that's a good thing, though, not having a microwave, because it means everything you eat will be fresh, right?

Well, you would have thought so, but

I still managed to eat some absolutely miserable shit.

Like what?

Life finds a way, Tanya.

Life finds a way

with this guy.

Why don't you miss piercing the film lid?

Bap, bap, bap.

I love it.

Oh, I don't know.

It just feels like

it's so bleak and depressing.

Tanya, do you like piercing the film lid?

Sometimes I do.

Take us through when do you like piercing the film lid?

You can't get a budget.

You have to go for the premium range.

Right.

And I like getting like an Indian from there sometimes i think it tastes all right once you season it yeah

so you're are you adding stuff to the microwave meal what you put so you're getting you're getting microwave curry yeah you're piercing the film lid you you open you open it you open it you don't pierce it at this point it's savagery you just take it off you season it you put a bit you just you've got to mix it in though

season it a little bit and then you put it in take it out halfway taste it make sure you put enough seasoning in.

If not, that's your opportunity.

Put it back in, let it finish.

I mean, at this point, Tanya, why don't you just cook a curry?

If that was my cookery class lesson, my mum would have been happy.

Here's how I made the ready meal, mum.

I peered,

peeled back the film lid, I seasoned it, I mixed it up, I put it in, I took it out, added some extra potatoes, some extra meat.

I hate you for that.

What seasoning are you putting in a microwave curry?

It depends on what curry you get, but it's normally just a bit of salt.

Sometimes there's

a salt that you get that's see, I only know this because my flatmate's a chef.

So the salt that you get that goes with everything, but it's not just salt.

It's got different seasoning in it.

And it's,

I wish I knew what was in it.

I just know you can put it on literally anything.

She puts it on pizza.

Like James says, ready meals tend to be quite salty anyway.

The idea of you being like, let's add a shitload more salt to this microwave curry.

You must just feel so dry all of the time.

You're just chugging pints of water.

Why am I so thirsty?

I've really got into garlic pepper.

It's good stuff.

What a game changer.

Sometimes I don't want to chop up garlic.

And the recipe says I've got to pepper it.

I'm completely with you.

Love garlic granules.

Always have a pot of garlic granules.

I go through that stuff.

If I'm like, if I'm just wanting boring lunch, just whack a bit of chicken breast in the oven.

Garlic granules, chili powder, cake it and stuff, whack it in.

But garlic granules are the way forward.

Absolutely.

The best way to use garlic granules is if you put like a little bit of butter in the pan, a little bit of garlic granules, you've got this great garlic butter that you can fry, like whatever in salmon,

chicken breast.

Add that to a microwave curry.

I hate you.

This is the quickest that any guest has hated Ed.

Yes,

normally it takes takes at least half an hour, but I've really not let the microwave curry thing go.

So fair enough.

Normally, the episode starts with me doing a sound effect, and the guest thinks, right, he's the knob-ed in this duo.

I've really got to keep an eye on him.

And then halfway through the episode, they realise Ed's actually the worst.

Yeah, Ed's the worst one.

You very quickly identified Ed's the worst, actually.

I don't know if he's the worst.

I hate him right now.

I'm definitely going with you're the knob-ed.

still still can't take that from me gamble bad luck

oh man now I want to be the knobhead

when you pierce the film lid would you prefer to use a knife or a fork has to be a fork yeah yeah yeah because you're trying to make little holes in it right you don't with a knife what you're doing is you're just punching a big hole in it but also with a fork you're getting like fork in one in one stab yeah knife you're just hitting it once yeah yeah hey i agree with you but i've met i've met knife people before no come on gosh i've met people who who who knife the film lid i've met these people i've seen them do it savage i bet they're the ones that bend on the left on the tube yeah probably are actually yeah well actually i'll tell you who i'm talking about specifically and we don't do many ready meals in this flat but the other day my girlfriend put a ready meal in the microwave and it dinged so i got it out for her And I was like, oh man.

I said, this is a close call.

You're lucky that I got to it when I did because you've not pierced the film lid.

She was like, yeah, I have.

Have a closer look.

I looked, and there are tiny little slits in it because she'd use a knife.

Oh, man.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

And I didn't want to start an argument.

It's a lockdown time, so you don't want to, you know.

How long have you been together?

Two years.

Oh, it's too late now.

It's too late.

You didn't know that?

We haven't used it.

Like I say, ready meals are very rare around here, but I couldn't believe my eyes.

I was like,

knives the film lid.

Yeah, man.

The thing is, now it's too late to back up the relationship based on that.

Yes.

First six months, if you find that out, I think you can go, look, you're a knife or I'm a forker.

Yes.

I guess I could steadily get rid of all the knives from the house, so she hasn't got a choice next time.

What if she spoons it?

Oh, she'll spoon it, and then you get rid of the spoons and just start using her finger.

Yeah.

That's what these people are like.

Tanya.

You wake up one day.

All you've got is ready meals.

You can't leave the house.

You've got to eat ready meals.

You look in the cutlery drawer.

There's no knives, no forks.

Let's take the spoons away as well.

So of all the other types of cutlery, all the the other things, what are you going to use to pierce the film lid?

You know, the

thing that you hold, you stab the meat with, and it's got two forks like this.

Right, yeah.

Yeah.

That thing.

Like that.

I don't know what that's called either.

No, but it stabs the meat, but it's got two bits at the end that you just...

Yeah.

And you get two stabs at once.

And it's still got little holes.

And it's not a knife.

Not a knife.

Not a fork.

It's mainly just to steady stuff.

It's to pin down the meat.

It's the.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ed?

Key.

I'd use a key.

Well, that's not cut of me, is it?

He's cheating there.

Yeah, but I...

And I genuinely as well.

Where do you think I'm putting my keys?

In a dirty key.

Did you pierce it and touch the.

Come on, my locks aren't dirty, thank you.

Your keys drop on the floor, babe.

Mine don't.

I keep good hold of my keys.

Thank you, Tanya.

Rattling around in your pocket?

Nah, I keep them on the little...

I don't have them in my pocket.

I keep them on a carabina on my belt loop.

A carabina?

Yeah.

Where's your house at the top of a mountain?

I put that I clip them on my belt loop because when I was in Japan all the cool dads did that so I wanted to copy the cool dads

They all wear great jeans and and have carabina have their keys on carabinas like a janitor you're a cool dad well i'm not i'm not a dad i'm cool no you're a cool dad all right

We always start the podcast with still or sparkling water.

That looks like some still water, unless my eyes deceive me.

I start with water for a million definitely always.

Cleanse the palate, so they say.

And it's always still?

It's always still.

Or I tend to go with a warm lemon water.

Oh, hello.

You seem quite straightforward about this.

You're like, it's warm lemon water.

There must be a reason for this.

You went really serious there, Tanya.

I don't know if you realise you went really serious there.

You've been very light-hearted so far, and you said warm lemon water, and you looked at us like, fucking bring it on if you want to make fun of my water, yeah, yeah.

I like warm lemon water

and we could make fun of that easy.

Here's what I'm gonna say: here's my way of making fun of it.

Oh, how did you discover you liked that?

Did they bring it out in a bowl after you had some ribs and you drank it all down?

Because normally that's finger bowl.

They bring it out to clean your fingers, right?

Yeah.

Warm lemon water.

Have you ever had that?

With my mum being a chef i i would know that knobbed

well you know

when i said it you'd either laughed or got angry and i thought well i need to really i need to really hammer this home

i'm gonna if i'm gonna get a reaction here

So warm lemon water to just like cleanse your mouth a bit get ready to taste some good some good flavours.

So so it's just like it's just a cleansing thing is to create a blank canvas just blank for the flavour painting I love that ready to go how much lemon you putting in there half now half a lemon or half a gold squeeze half a lemon okay

into a cup you mug

into a cup into a cup your mug

not into a mug your cup no

no into a mug yeah down that and then get ready for your star it's always a starter And it's going to be happy immediately there.

That's what I like to hear.

I'm a starter boy.

I absolutely love it.

There is always a starter when I go out to eat as well.

Sometimes many starters and not even a discernible main.

I'll just keep ordering starters.

That's the way to go.

It makes sense.

Yeah.

Bit too much nodding going on there for my liking, but I'm not

keen on this starter talk.

Here's the thing.

I want to talk more about the warm lemon water.

And I know you think, why would they possibly want to talk about that still?

But we've never had someone say warm lemon water yeah we've normally it's just still or sparkling and we we've never had warm water I don't think no okay and certainly not warm lemon water what temperature are you talking here okay so I'm really particular with it because I go two-thirds warm hot and then the last third cold So to get the warm water, you go two-thirds boiling hot and then one-third cold water.

Yeah, really cold.

Sometimes put into a cube device.

Oh.

hold on a second I can't tell if that's a joke or not.

I really really am not joking.

I'm being so serious.

So to make warm water you mix boiling hot water and ice.

Is that what you're doing?

Yeah.

Now

there might be another way of doing it

And to get the lemon, you're getting a lime and a yellow felt tip.

I hate you.

Still in the cinder.

Yeah, it still hates me.

You're still a nomad, though.

Yeah, yeah.

Fair enough.

Poppadoms or bread.

Poppadoms or bread, Tanya Moore.

Poppadums or bread.

Norman bread or just bread.

Any bread you like.

Any bread in the whole world.

Oh, that's hard.

This is like pre-meal, and you can have anything to accompany it that you want.

Pre-meal, definitely poppadums.

With the onion salad and the mango chutney.

Slash that into a sandwich, poppadum sandwich.

You're good to go.

Poppadum sandwich.

So you're using two poppadoms and putting all the stuff in the middle?

Well, you break it off, don't you?

And then you just get a bit and you put some onion and some mango, put poppadum on top.

Ah, it's the best thing.

Yeah.

It's great.

I don't think I've ever done the sandwich.

I think I would always put it on like a pizza and then

do that.

You're missing out.

You're getting that extra crunch.

Telling her, it's got to be a sandwich.

I would be scared that it would all, like, that I bite into it and it would all just disintegrate in my hands.

Like the rest of it wouldn't hold it.

No, no, no, you've got to break it off and just put it.

So you just break off a bit because you know it will fall apart.

Break a bit off, put some onion, put some mango, break off another bit, put that on top, put that in your mouth.

Bite size.

Basically.

So you're not doing it like a taco?

No, not.

Oh, God, no.

Or two, yeah, like whole pop, a whole pop.

No.

Like, massive.

No,

I'm not like that.

Well, look, if you're in your own home and no one else was there,

would you do the whole Popadoms?

Why not?

That's messy.

First of all, then I've got to clean up.

Eat in the bath.

Eat in the bath.

What?

Get in the bath with the poppadoms.

You get one of those bath tables, you know, that go across the bath.

You can lay out all the poppadom stuff on there.

That sounds great.

I'm going to do that.

No, you're not.

Please record one.

I am.

I am going to do it and I am going to record it.

I'm going to release it as an episode of this podcast, a a video of me eating a Popadom sandwich in the bath.

Well, I mean, Ed.

Yes.

You know what our listeners are like.

Yeah.

That's not going away now.

Now you've said that.

You won't stop getting tweets about that until you do it.

Yeah.

Well, I won't have time to get tweets about it because I'll release it before this episode comes out.

You're going to do it immediately.

Yeah.

Poppadom's in the bath.

Film yourself eating it.

Popadom sandwich in the bath.

I'm going to be refreshing the lady.

And I'm going to be refreshing myself.

Disgusted.

I don't know why that was Chris.

It wasn't Chris.

I'm having a wash.

I'm allowed to have a wash.

Yeah, you said it in a way that sounded dirty.

And while I'm in there, I'll give McKees a little scrub as well.

So, fine, yeah.

Much needed scrub.

Coming off that filthy carabina.

That's my wrestler name.

Filthy Carabina.

Filthy Carabina.

Now we come to your starter.

Always a starter.

I found it hard to choose a starter today because there's so many that are great.

But today's one is Achaean saltfish in a dumpling, in a fried dumpling.

And it's really nice.

It's a savoury dumpling.

You make it out of like flour and water and other seasonings.

And then you put it into a bowl.

Make it into a dough, sorry.

And then you rip it up, put it into a ball, you drop it into the oil for a bit.

And then when you take it out, it's golden on the outside, but fluffy on the inside so when you open it up it's like you know when you make fresh bread and you just rip it open and you've got all the scents and it's all smoke and it's wonderful and then you get the ackee and the saltfish now with the ackee and the saltfish ackee is jamaica's national dish i'm jamaican and it's like um grown from the earth and then uh you pluck that from the tree and then you have onions and peppers and other bits in there and you fry that off lightly with some salt fish that you've steamed because you don't want it to be too salty it ruins the meal and then you put the acke in at the last minute because it's already really cooked.

You only have to really cook it for a little bit.

Once that's done, you put that on the dumpling.

Magic.

That is a good food description.

I've had Aki and saltfish before.

Yeah.

Really like it.

Yeah.

I'm still not 100% on what Aki is because texturally there's nothing like it, right?

Yes.

Is it a fruit?

Yes.

But it's not like any fruit

I've ever had before because it's sort of is it is it correct to say it's a bit, it looks a bit like scrambled egg?

Yeah, I would say that as well.

Yeah.

I still don't really know what it is.

No, I'll be honest, I've just accepted it.

It's Aggie, that's what it is.

The only thing that I have to contribute to the saltfish chat is that

I had, and I think it's the same as what you're describing.

These saltfish dumplings once, and I thought they were delicious.

And it was when I lived near Brixton.

And do you know Takeisa Takeisa Bosswick Barnes comedian she lives near around there as well we were going home from a gig and I just moved there because she was she was saying oh there's a load of good places for Caribbean food around here and I was like yeah you've been to rum kitchen and then she just laughed for ages

it was really embarrassing

and this is why I hesitate to say rum kitchen to you because now you have your head your head in your hands and I knew this was going to happen but then I thought I would bring it up because I think it's a good point point of chat.

I can't look at him anymore.

Not rum kitchen.

James, rum kitchen, please.

Some of us like to eat at the authentic places like Turtle Bay.

No.

Some of us like to eat the authentic dishes of the Caribbean, like jerk halloumi at Turtle Bay.

Oh, man.

Sorry, but yeah, you didn't have Caribbean food.

It actually says Caribbean inspired.

Right.

If you go to like Reflex or something like that,

that's Caribbean.

Is that the best in London, do you reckon?

No, but it's nice.

Where's the best in London?

Or anywhere you've been, really, to be fair, but like in England or where people can go after this pandemic's over?

I'll be honest, I don't really eat Caribbean foods out.

because my mum makes it better

so so your mum yeah so we can all come to your mum's mum's house after the pan you could yeah you could she makes she makes um food she sells she sells yeah she sells food so there we go she does a lot of a lot of the opposes areas in the place they come to her mum's house for lunch they buy little five pound boxes comes with lack of meat and a rice and a salad hit us with the postcode

N12UA yes I'll be there I don't know what that is whoever does live there they're getting they're getting me mapping on the door I like some selfish dumplings please

Did you just riff a postcode there, Tanya?

Yeah, I live in South Bay.

That's what was it.

N1EUA, did you say?

2-U-A.

Here we go.

That's Upper Street.

Oh, no.

This is a good game.

Upper Street.

There we go.

I think there's probably a Turtle Bay nearby there as well.

Right, Tanya, quick.

Riff another postcode.

Now, go.

Don't even think about it.

Go!

W86LQ.

We have a hit.

Right, Tanya.

First of all, guess where it is?

Okay,

I love it.

Oh, where's the best?

I'm gonna go with Acton.

No, this is one of our famous guessing games that our producer, The Great Benito, loves.

He hates these games.

He hates

stuff like this.

It's quite posh.

Oh, Fulham.

No, not Fulham.

Not in Hill?

It's Kensington.

Oh.

Now, next round, Tanya, guess the nearest restaurant or eatery to the postcode?

Kensington.

That could be anything from a small family cafe

to an Italian.

So I'm going to go for a Pizza Express.

That's quite a good bet.

I'm going to go for Nando's.

No, it is Italian.

So

I'm going to give it to Tanya.

It's San Pietro.

It's 4.5 stars on Google.

Looks like that's going to be my next round.

So that's that fuck.

Oh!

Oh, but very nearby, there is another Italian restaurant on Earlscourt Road.

Read what that's called.

Bistro Benito.

Bistro Benito.

Oh my God.

Oh, my God.

It's like a Devin Brown trick.

Bistro Benito.

Fantastic.

Bistro Benito.

I wonder what that place is like.

Go in there.

They don't like doing guessing games in Bistro Benito.

your main course

ah see i grappled with this do i go meat after having fish or do i keep it fish because you know it changes the palate a bit so i'm going to keep it fish and i'm going to go for a seafood boil it depends what one you get but you can have lobster you can have crab you can have shellfish um you can have shell prawn sorry and you can have and it comes with uh potatoes and little corn on the cubs.

And then the sauce, the sauce is the main thing because it's like fish seasoning with lots of garlic and peppers and onions cooked down, and it's like a medium thickness.

So you can just slap it up.

And I think that would be perfect.

Tanya, you're speaking my language.

All over lockdown.

And this is going to blow your mind for coincidences.

All over lockdown, I've been getting a meal kit from a place called Decatur, who do New Orleans shrimp boils that they deliver to your house.

Um, and I'm wearing a t-shirt of them today.

Oh my gosh, that is crazy.

Look at that.

I'm wearing the merch for seafood boils.

And I'm wearing a bistro bonito t-shirt.

It is the best, it is the absolute best.

I'd consider putting that in my dream menu, you know, because the act of the boiling and then you tip it all out onto

like newspaper and then just get stuck in and just, yeah, just go for it.

I think I'm thinking of buying a trough so I can just do a massive one outside and just eat it like a big pig.

Do that in the bath.

Yeah, yeah.

That'll be the next course in the bath.

I could do a whole menu in the bath.

I'm just saying.

Are you filling up the bath and doing the boil in the bath?

Yes.

And sitting in the boil and eating it.

It's pretty spicy.

I think that'd really hurt like my ass and knob and stuff.

So I'd probably have to do it across like the table.

In a trough.

yeah yeah yeah well you could you know you could protect those protect the sensitive areas before going in yeah i suppose so just pin it back yeah

exactly

i just let's just fling it out the bath um no it does and it's so spicy you sort of go into like a zone like sometimes things are too hot in the mouth and you're like i can't eat any more of that but when it's just the right level of spice you sort of feel high and you can keep going but you're just you're on a you're on another level i agree with all of that definitely Absolutely love it.

What?

Because you said you can have loads of different things in the boil for your dream meal.

What do you want in there?

Crab legs

and

prawns, king prawns, with potatoes and sweet corns and lashings and lashings and lashings of sauce.

And do you want the sausage in there as well?

You can get sausage in there.

No sausage.

No sausage?

No meat.

It's a fish boil.

But it ruins it.

No way.

You want the full meal in there, the potato, the corn, the sausage, the prawns.

Sausage is a savage.

Sausage is savage.

Trouble in paradise.

You two were on the same page for a while there.

Now sausage has divided you.

It's always the way, though, isn't it?

What do you think, right?

You know who King Prawns.

Let's just pretend for a while that, you know, King Prawns are a civilization in their own right.

If they have someone who's in charge, what do they call that person?

That prawn.

Yeah.

Because they're all called King Prawns.

He's the prawn.

That's just the prawn.

so the king and the king prawn is just prawn you don't even have to you don't king him he's just prawn so he's in charge because he's not a king no no no it's not that he's not a king it's just that everybody else is king king king king king so that's regular yeah so he's different he's just prawn see he's the prawn

the prawn the prawn

in there yeah the the prawn There's lots of king prawns, but he's the prawn.

Yeah, yeah.

Because originally you said prawn.

Yeah.

No, I said the prawn well we recorded it tanya so let's go you go you go right back right now i agree i agree that

i agree that the the prawn makes more sense but at one point you said he's just prawn he's just prawn and i love the thought of everyone just going hey prawn i was calling him prawn

and everyone else was king prawn actually i was saying the the is what you the prawn is more commanding, isn't it?

It is.

The prawn.

Because then everyone will start putting D-A and start graffiti in it, and you don't want that.

You don't want to be damned.

Then there'll be a rapper called the prawn wrapper, and you don't want that.

No.

I do.

A wrapping prawn called the prawn wrapper.

Yeah, definitely.

What's he going to rap about?

One in the sausage.

Yeah.

Not being allowed to hang out in the jacuzzi with a sausage.

The prawn wrapper.

The prawn wrapper sat in the jacuzzi that's all the seafood boil.

Yeah.

Like rapping about being a prawn.

Of course I want that.

Who wouldn't want that?

Still, though, very difficult to come up with words that rhyme with sausage.

So, DePraud is really in trouble.

Maybe if he changes the way he says sausage, he might say sausage.

He's a rapper, he can do that.

Okay,

he can do sausage.

Let's say he calls it sausage instead of sausage.

What words does that open him up to?

What words out there rhyme with sausage?

No, it's sausage.

Siege.

Siege.

Siege.

Yeah.

Trees.

Trees.

Trees rise with sausage, does it?

If you say it right.

Why are you crossing your arms?

I'm just kind of excited because I want to just keep this going for a long time.

Well, because it's because me and Tanya really acted like we'd solve the problem there

when Tanya said he could change it to sausage, and we were both like, yeah, yeah, actually, that would work.

That would solve the problem.

Now he's got a veritable dictionary in front of him.

Yeah.

So you've got siege and trees so far that rise with sausage.

Yeah.

Bees.

Bees.

Knees.

You can say, I'll give you the sausage and have you on your knees.

That's a good song.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

That's quite a good song.

I'm not denying that's a good song.

Teach about the birds and the bees.

Sea?

Yeah.

See.

See, sort of works.

Why don't you say sausage?

It changes

you up, folks.

It does change it.

We get it.

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Terms apply.

What's your side dish?

What were you thinking?

See, I think that a boil doesn't need a side dish because it's enough in itself.

However, some people like to have a salad for a side dish.

And for my meat eaters, I know they might like some chicken wings on the side, maybe, just to kind of dip that in and just have that moment if they don't have a sausage.

You know what I mean?

So yeah, it would be one of those two if needed.

You did a very thing that I only really associate with James Acaster then.

So you two should be getting on better.

You shouldn't think he's a knob-ed because you're basically the same person.

When you said dipping in, you acted it out.

James can't talk about dipping something in something without going, and I'm dipping it in.

I'm dipping in it.

Oh, and I'm eating it.

Oh, I'm chucking him in.

He always does that as well.

He can't help but act out everything he's doing.

I didn't realise that about myself until I just said it.

And it is true.

Yeah.

I'm dipping it in and I'm eating it.

You always do that.

And then the other one is if it's a bag of something,

you'll mime, like throwing it in your mouth.

You'll be like, yeah.

Yeah, I do.

I love throwing it in like it's from a distance.

I didn't know I did that, Ed.

You must have been in all these episodes thinking he's doing it again.

I'll bring it up.

I love it, personally.

I do like it.

it um so what are you going with in the in the side are you going with the chicken wings are you going with a salad or are you going with some sort of chicken wing salad i think that's person dependent i'll be nice so if you're coming as a guest and you prefer a salad i will give you a salad if you prefer chicken wings i'll give you chicken wings you do know this is your meal though and we're not getting you to cook for somebody else oh i wanted it to be a dinner party you can't cook for one We should have covered this.

Absolutely, you can have a dinner party.

Who are you inviting to it?

How many guests?

Are they your personal friends three guests yeah three girlfriends name them tasha joanna antonette how long you know tasha for what's she like how did you meet her

i met tasha when i used to teach dancing and i've known her for

well when i met her her daughter was three she's now 22 she's about to be 23.

so oh yeah 20 years almost interesting why has she made the cut what's she like what's she bringing to the dinner party herself

and she's always late so she'll be late so she'll miss probably the starter her starter will be cold she'll still want it though so it'll be cold um

and so you always have to make time for tasha being late yep i'd never be friends with her she would never be invited to anything i did after the first time she was late

unacceptable stuff

no

no but you've got to wait up like this when you have a friend if they've got like two bad things but 1000 good things then you just have to deal with the two bad things it depends what the bad things are being late ain't that bad it is awful tanya she she gets there eventually yeah but if i've cooked to someone and they're late and then it ruins the quality of the food absolutely not you're off i didn't like it at first but i just don't wait for anymore so whoever's arrives we'll start fair enough joanna was that one of them yes what's she like how did you meet her what she made the cut joanna is

actually cashia's best friend so i met her at the same time

and we became friends separately so now we have our own relationship and joanna will definitely be there on time in fact she'll be there a little bit early and she will probably bring a bottle of wine actually i don't like that she's early no she's not coming around to mine either not that early she's only like 10 15 minutes early then she can wait outside until the agreed time it's a lot hanging on this i've turned up to edge house early every time i think i've visited him to be fair i prefer it to lateness Yeah, but still, you know, I'm making the finishing touches to everything.

Can I say, all of them will always ask, do you need anything?

That's nice.

But Tasha just doesn't bring anything, turns up late.

So she asks, but then she just turns up late, doesn't bring anything.

Whereas Joanna turns up early with a bottle of water.

Well, because you know she's coming late, there's no need to ask her for anything because you'll already have it by that.

No point saying, yeah, could you bring round some boiling water and some ice cream, please?

I hate you as well now.

Yeah, could you buy yourself a watch on the way over?

That would be great.

Cheers.

Who was the third person at the dinner party?

Antonette.

Who is she?

How did you meet her?

What's she like?

What's your baby?

You're definitely back to Nobbed.

Okay.

Antonette, I met at work when my last nine to five when I was doing reception and she works there as well.

What's she like?

She's wonderful.

She's very giving.

Antoninette will definitely ask me if I need anything and then probably bring a couple of bottles and maybe a dessert as well and possibly some snacks.

This is James's favourite person so far.

So, obviously, I love her.

But she will turn up early because she will want to help you set up and get things ready.

And she's that person.

Ed, you're going to allow that?

You okay with that?

If you've pre-arranged getting there earlier than everyone else to help set up, so you know Antoninette's coming at a certain time, that's fine.

I think she's my favourite out of all of your friends.

You said that very strong, all of your friends.

All of your friends.

Because it's like, I think you've got a Goldilocks situation in that you've got late, early, and then pre-arranged early, which is very much the Mummy Bear Porridge.

So

I like Mummy Bear Antoninette.

She can be my friend.

Okay.

Which is my favourite as well.

So

congratulations to Antonette there.

Easily the winner.

Yeah.

And I think we all agree.

It goes then Joanna and then way, way down at the bottom.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's like Tasha who doesn't bring anything.

It doesn't help.

Yeah, not happy with Tashas.

No, hey, don't say that.

Not a fat.

She's not that.

No, don't say that.

Only good thing she's ever done is introduce you to Joanna, in my opinion.

Do you like salad and chicken wings so that your friends can all choose?

what they would like with the hood.

Right.

So when you say it's person dependent, the chicken wings and the salad,

out of Tasha, Joanna, and Antonette, who's having wings and who's having salad?

Yes.

Actually, based on what we know of them, can we guess

and then you can tell us?

Yes, guessing game.

Be sure, Benito.

Um,

I

think that

Antoninette would have salad.

I think

Joanna would have wings.

Tasha would also have wings.

Tasha's having whatever she's fucking given at this point because

she's lucky she got any boil.

Yeah.

she can have the leftovers, she can have the scraps.

I think Joanna would have wings.

Antoninette's bringing a dessert, so maybe she's more dessert-focused.

So maybe she's saving room for dessert because she's quite excited about that.

So she's having a salad instead.

So I'd agree with James.

I'd say salad, but Tasha, I don't know.

She's turning up late.

What does she feel like?

Cold wings are all right, I suppose, but salad's better if you turn up late, really.

It probably keeps for slightly longer.

So I'm actually going to go salad for Tasha because it's the late person's favourite meal.

And the winner is James.

Yeah.

Yes.

I knew it.

How spicy are these wings?

What's going on with these wings?

What are you putting on them?

I wouldn't make them spicy.

I would probably just make them regular oven wings.

So you just season them with the basics.

So just like a little tiny bit of seasoning, or maybe some garlic powder, maybe a little bit of thyme,

and then probably just a sprinkling of some chilli flakes, just a tiny bit of

soy sauce, and then you kind of just like rub it down a bit, put that in the oven, put some foil on top so it kind of boils through first, and then you drain the water off, and then you

get top foil off, put it back in the oven so it gets that browning flavour.

And then, if you want to, you could make like a sweet honey soy sauce to go on top of it.

I like to do that.

You just cook off some soy sauce and honey with a little bit of seasoning inside, cook that down, pour that on top, put a little bit of butter.

I mean, not butter, sorry, brown sugar, sprinkle it, so it makes it sticky.

Where you going with the butter?

Put that on as well.

Don't tell me about the butter and then take the butter away.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

No butter.

You've got to put a little bit of a butter.

It broke my heart.

Sugar.

Brown sugar, so it makes it nice and sticky.

And then when you take it out, it's just a nice, you break away.

It's a nice, sticky crisp on the outside, and the chicken's nice and well on the inside, and it's just perfect.

Now, because your mum is a chef and you live with a chef, I mean, we've had a lot of food descriptions on this podcast.

Yours are at the level of the chefs that we've had on.

I think Ed would agree.

Yo, this isn't your average comic describing food.

This is a chef level.

If you just, one day someone's like, you have to run a restaurant for a day and you're the head chef.

Do you reckon you could pull it off?

I think you could pull it off.

I think I could pull it off.

Yeah.

I'd like to think so.

I'd come to your restaurant.

Thank you.

what would you call your restaurant i'd probably call it joyce's it's my mum's name hey if chefs name their restaurants after their parents maybe bistro bonito is run by great great bonito's son

bonito's got a son and he didn't tell us got a son and he didn't tell us and he owns a little restaurant called bistro little bonito what's this salad tanya so you've got the wings which sound delicious i'm going to try making them like that i'm going to use this will be one of the episodes that we can rewind and use as a recipe book what's this salad it's very basic it's shredded lettuce it's cucumbers it's tomatoes it's red onions it's sweet corn and a little bit of sauce of your choice cream

we come to your dream drink now is this going to be your dream drink or are you thinking about the guests?

I know it's mine.

It accompanies the meal.

So I would have two different types of white wine, one to accompany the starter and one to accompany the main end dessert.

I like this.

I like this little drinks hack of pairing drinks with different courses.

Not many people do it on the podcast, but it's always a welcome treat.

What are you pairing with the starter?

I think it would be a Pinot Noir

and it would be

from

I like wine from New Zealand, so it would be from New Zealand or South Africa, actually.

And that would be a nice small glass of white wine to accompany your ackey and saltfish dumpling.

What's all this small glass shit?

Sorry, I've got I've got to.

No, because when we get to the, when we get to the

boil, that's the pierce the resistance.

That's when you need a large glass of wine.

Right.

You don't want to be, you don't want your palate to be just covered in wine so you can't really taste the seasoning from the boil.

I don't think that's a thing.

I think just have a big glass.

It's a thing.

Come on.

Here we go, Dave.

it's a thing ed's got a problem and his

his argument is just shouting come on at you that's that's how you know it's come on have a little of a drink with me with your fun fun friend ed

yeah that's what you're supporting if you only have a small glass i've got to have the rest of it

so what what you're having the big glass of for the boil a Sauvignon Blanc.

I wish I knew something about Sauvignon Blanc to say that's a great choice, but I'd just drink it regardless.

It's a little bit sweeter than the Pinot, so it's better.

Again, here, have you picked up wine tasting skills from your mum, from Joyce?

No, because she will just have any white wine.

But my flatmate, yes.

We do a lot of cheese and wine nights.

So she'd introduced me to a lot of different cheeses.

and chutneys and things that go with cheese and wine.

Okay, you need to move.

You need to move out.

Why?

Cheese is a danger word on this podcast for James.

Sorry.

Especially as, you know,

we're not at the dessert yet.

We heard earlier that, you know, you're in the starter gang with me.

And now cheeses are popping up, rearing their heads.

What I would say dangerously close to James asking you what you want for dessert.

We're still hovering around the drink, but cheese and wine nights, that sounds lovely.

And we know that you've already said that you're having this wine to match both the boil, which is good.

A nice, you know, it's spicy.

A sweeter white wine will punch through that spice.

Nice.

But can you carry that through to whatever the final course would be?

I'm not going to specifically say dessert.

Is it too late to book Antoninette for the podcast?

Because this is her, and she can bring her dessert.

That was another danger.

That's another flag, a red flag, isn't it?

That someone else has to bring the dessert.

Has to bring their own dessert because they know there's going to be cheese and goddamn biscuits for dessert instead.

It's not cheese and biscuits, but also that's just Antoninette.

I probably wouldn't use it.

I never do and she does.

Oh, so she always brings a dessert and you put it straight in the bin?

No, I just put it in the cupboard.

I just something else for next time.

So you and your housemate sit down and have cheese and biscuit evenings with your wine.

Yes.

That sounds lovely.

But you're doing that after you've had like a proper dessert at some other point in the day, right?

So you've had a dessert and then you have a cheese and biscuit evening to unwind.

That's okay.

No, the cheese and biscuit, there's so much cheese and biscuits that's just dinner.

Or the whole of dinner.

So that's even replacing the starters.

So, in a way,

everything.

So, I couldn't have it at this dinner party.

You could.

I mean, if you wanted to make that your dessert, you feel free.

Feel free, Tanya.

I don't want you to feel pressured by James.

I don't want you to feel like he's bullying you into not having your dream dessert, which is cheese and biscuits.

It's really not.

You've bullied her, James.

No, no bullying took place.

I just put my emotions out there, my feelings.

Wow.

Just let everyone see my feelings.

How long have you lived with this chef?

A year.

So you moved in, what?

Start of lockdown?

Just before the parent.

Yeah, just before, like a week before.

Did you know them beforehand or is it?

No.

Wow.

So this has worked out quite nicely for you.

Very well.

Not many people...

a week before lockdown moved in with a chef yeah that's you've seriously lucked out there right right up there with moving in in with a hairdresser or something before lockdown yeah pretty lucky can i tell you something do you know know what my block's called what no

more house

i'm sorry what i don't know what's going on no me neither my block's called more house the house where i live is called more house oh sorry because your surname's more

what i love about that is that's definitely a joke you should have got over by now you've been there for a year

That seems like the sort of joke that someone would say to you, Moorehouse, Moore House, you, you're called tanya more and you live in more house and you'd be like yeah all right fucking i get that i get that all the time but you said that to us a year after moving into more house like that is the best joke you have ever heard in your life still it's not a joke i know it's not a joke but you still find it absolutely hilarious absolutely loved it you were vibrating

also

when you said it originally the way that you said it made me think you were saying more as in you know can i have some more yeah so it was like a big house it's like, I'm in a block.

And what is a block if it's not more houses, if it's not more, more house?

So I was like, I'll be honest with you, Tanya, I was also baffled.

I was completely baffled.

Me and James arrived at that joke later than Tasha would.

Call us a couple of Tashas over here.

Because we are late and rude.

And you bought nothing?

We bought nothing to it as well.

We get it.

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We get to the dessert now.

I know it's not cheese and biscuits, so I'm relieved, but then I'm not completely in the clear here.

Although, you know, you've had a dessert brought over, but that's gone in.

Antoninette's bought it, but you put that in the cupboard, so that means you don't need the dessert, so there must be something sweet on the way.

It is a cherry crumble.

Lovely.

We have not had cherry crumble before, and I am excited to hear about the cherry crumble.

I like to make my own crumble.

I don't like to make my own cherries.

So

Joyce will have made the cherries.

Yeah.

And then I just make the crumble and then you put that in the oven and when you take it out, you offer ice cream or custard.

That's what I like to hear.

I absolutely love that you're getting Joyce to do the majority of the work, let's be honest.

And then you put the crumble on and then you present it at dinner party going, here's a cherry crumble.

I've definitely made from scratch, right?

I wouldn't say from scratch.

scratch, I'll just say, Here's a cherry crumble.

Yeah,

ask no more questions.

Also, you could, if you say to people, I made the crumble, it sounds like you made the whole thing, yeah.

But you just made the but you're not technically lying, so you're like, I made the crumble, pretty good,

and then everyone's like,

These cherries are so delicious, and you can just be like, I made the crumble, I made the crumble, and you keep saying that to them, oh, yeah,

is Tanya all right?

She keeps just saying she made the crumble, whatever we ask her.

She keeps on denying that she knows anyone called Joyce as well.

I don't know why.

She keeps saying that.

That's the name of her restaurant.

What is the secret to these cherries that Joyce is making?

What's she putting in there?

I can't disclose all of them, but the number one ingredient you can rest assured is cherries.

Thanks so much for even giving away a bit of Joyce's secret there, Tanya.

We feel very privileged.

That's all you're giving us is cherries.

Yeah.

There's cherries in it, and that's it.

Or I'm not even going to bother asking you what's in the crumble because I think I know what the answer is going to be.

That's just flour and butter, isn't it?

And a little bit of sugar.

You're not putting any oats in it or anything.

I know people like to put oats in it.

You're putting cinnamon in it a little bit.

And then you really, really crumble up some bread and you put that on the top sometimes.

And that gives you a nice little crisp.

So you have the crumble and the soft cherries because the bottom of the crumble is going to be a little bit soft, isn't it?

So it's the top bit that you want to keep crispy.

In many ways, it's like a dessert cottage pie.

Almost.

It's a similar colour.

Yeah.

Would you say that's your favourite type of food?

Is

a soft layer topped with a crispy layer?

I would say so.

It is good.

Now I'm thinking about it.

It's probably mine as well.

I would go for custard.

You would go for custard over ice cream.

I would be the guest who asks for both.

Would that be okay at your dinner party?

That would be fine.

I mean, when you leave, I would be like, they're so greedy.

But it's pretty fine.

Well, putting the ice cream in the hot custard is the equivalent of putting the ice cubes in the hot water.

That's true.

He's got you there.

Oh, I'm getting the finger for the first time on the pod.

That'll be the screenshot we used to promote the episode.

Oh, that's true.

100% going to be the screenshot we used in Easter.

It sounds like Cherry Crumble has always been a favourite of yours.

Have you always had it growing up and stuff?

No, do you know what?

It used to be Apple.

Then I went to Blackberry, then Cherry.

Interesting.

Now, tell us the age that you were when you switched from apple to blackberry and the age that you were when you switched from blackberry to cherry.

Seven apple to blackberry.

Sophisticated.

That is sophisticated.

16.

Is that something you announced to your mum when you were seven?

Mother, I'm making the switch.

I think she caught on when I just started like digging the apple out of the apple pie and just eating the pastry.

And then your teens were when you were like 16, did you say?

Yeah, 16.

It's like when I was leaving school.

Reinventing yourself.

That's what a lot of people do.

Leave school.

New me.

I like Cherry Crumble now.

Definitely.

This is it.

Just got in feet first.

Do you anticipate another phase coming in at some point where the cherries get nudged out and you replace it with something else?

Let's not forget Old Papa Rhubarb.

He's got to make an appearance at some point.

Old Papa Rhubarb is not coming out yet.

I like rhubarb, but like in a yoghurt.

Sure, but that means rhubarb's in your life.

So at some point, old papa rhubarb is going to be like, pop me in a crumble.

I think you're missing out by not having...

Cherry Crumble sounds good, but i think rhubarb crumble is the most grown up of the crumbles hence old papa rhubarb and i think as you get a little bit older maybe you know maybe into your 40s 50s i think the rhubarb's going to make an appearance that's just what that's just what i think so in about two years i'll tell you what in a couple of years time you're going to be making a crumble and you're going to pour a big old can of caust and press in there made myself crumble and i'm pouring in the caust and pray yes i mean for me that's baffling and i know what you're doing so I know your songs about Corston Press.

You sing them all the time, but even I'm confused, so God knows what Tanya's thinking right now.

I know exactly how Tanya's feeling right now.

She's in the same way that I felt when I heard Morehouse.

Tanya's not laughing at what you said there, James.

It's because you reminded her of the Morehouse joke, and she's laughing at you.

That's the truth.

Never dropped the Levi Punny.

I want to confirm that I definitely hate you both right now.

Yeah, absolutely fine.

No problem.

So we all know where we are.

Yep.

Water.

You would like warm lemon water, two-thirds boiling water, one-third cold water, and sometimes some ice.

Poppadums or bread?

Do you want a poppadum sandwich with onion and mango chutney?

Starter, Aki and saltfish dumpling.

Main course, seafood boil with crab legs and king prawns, potatoes, corn of the cobs, lashes of sauce.

No sausage.

Side dish, salad or chicken wings, depending on the guest.

We've established that there would be two portions of chicken wings, one salad, and you did not reveal your own side dish, actually, what you would have at the dinner party.

If you're choosing salad or chicken wings,

you would leave it and just have the boy.

A pass.

Drink.

Two types of white wine.

New Zealand Pinot Noir with starter.

Save Blanc with the main.

Dessert.

Cherry crumble with custard.

You're making the crumble.

Joyce is making the cherries.

Also, ice cream as well, Benito.

Benito missed out the ice cream.

It's okay, Benito.

I understand.

You've got a restaurant to run with your son.

You've got got a lot on your plate right now.

You can't write down the whole WhatsApp menu because Listro Bonito has to survive a pandemic.

I'll tell you what I absolutely love about this as well is you're making Joyce make the cherries and you've not invited her.

Joyce, just bring the cherries around and then go.

Bring the cherries around.

I'll set a plate.

I'll set a plate.

Well, that's a good

thing.

I've set you a plate, but you're not allowed to come in.

No, you're after.

Given that we've nailed down your sense of humor now, if you have friends to a a dinner party, if when they've eaten their food, they said, Can I have some more?

Would you be like, This is absolutely

I love it.

I love hosting a dinner party.

There you go.

Just imagine that.

Tanya, thank you so much for coming to the dream restaurant.

You've been a wonderful guest.

Thank you.

I've really enjoyed it.

Tanya, do you still hate me and think James is a knob head?

1000%.

Well, there we go.

A lovely menu.

When you were reading it back there, James, I forgot how sort of weirdly it started, but then it did then slip into quite a delicious menu.

It was the

weird warm water with lemon situation and then the poppa dum sandwich.

And I was like, oh, we're on for a wacky one here.

But then it was pretty nice from then on in.

Absolutely delicious.

And more importantly, it didn't include dark fruit cider.

Pretty difficult to see where she would have fitted dark fruit cider, to be honest.

Yeah, would have been bad.

But still, thank you for the suggestion.

Bleasedale.

Bleased Dale.

Cheers, Bleasedale.

Keep suggesting stuff if you want, Bleasedale.

We do like saying your name like that.

Yes.

Benita's just told us that Bleasedale actually suggested loads.

So we've got loads to choose from that Bleasedale said.

Cheers, Bleasedale.

So go and check Tanya's stuff out online.

She did all that stuff we mentioned in the intro.

And also, she's look, she's on the socials.

Yeah, I imagine.

At Tanya Moore on Twitter.

She's on Instagram as well.

TanyaMoore.co.uk is her website.

Go and check it out.

Look, we may be coming to the point where we can do gigs again.

So Tanya Moore might be out there doing gigs.

If you want to go and see her in a live environment, she is brilliant.

Go and see her.

Yes, absolutely.

Ed and I are a nice man.

Just doing a plug for us.

Yeah, cool.

Nice plug.

At OffMenuOfficial on Twitter and Instagram.

Yes.

OffmenuPodcast.co.uk is the website.

There's a whole list of restaurants on there, which we will now add Joyce's to, and of course we will add Bistro Benito to it.

Bistro Benito will be there.

And if you go to Bistro Benito, you have to ask if the Great Benito is in.

And they will obviously, you know, they might be confused, but just ask, is the Great Benito in tonight?

And see what they say to you.

And maybe he will be there with his little son.

Thank you very much for listening to the Off Menu Podcast.

We'll be back again in your lives very soon.

Goodbye.

So long and farewell.

Hello, my name's Rob Orton and I do the Rob Orton Daily Podcast.

The Rob Orton Daily Podcast is a daily podcast that is quite short, some are two minutes long, some are ten minutes long, and they are stories and poems And basically, all the thoughts I've ever had that I like enough to want to share with people.

And the Roboton podcast is available on Apple, ACAST, Spotify, all the other places where you normally get your podcasts, and on social media, it is at Rob Autumn Podcast.

Thank you.

You check your feed and your account.

You check the score and the restaurant reviews.

You check your hair and reflective surfaces and the world around you for recession indicators.

So you check all that, but you don't check to see what your ride options are.

In this economy, next time, check Lyft.

Hello, I'm Carrie Add.

I'm Sarah.

And we are the Weirdos Book Club podcast.

We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival.

The date is Thursday, 11th of September.

The time is 7pm.

And our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies.

Tickets from kingsplace.co.uk.

Single ladies is coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September.

At the London Podcast Festival.

The rumours are true, Saturday, the 13th of September.

At King's Place.

Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet.