Ep 83: Josh Groban

James, huge news from the world of off-menu and indeed the world of the world.

Yes.

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The show will be on Monday, the 16th of March.

It's going to be a tasting menu, a returning guest coming back, receiving the menu of another previous guest.

Those shows have been a lot of fun.

We cannot wait to do them live.

Who will we pull out of our little magic bag?

You'll have to come along on the 16th of March to find out.

If I'm correct in thinking, presale tickets go on pre-sale on the 10th of September.

Pre-sale tickets are 10th of September at 10 a.m.

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I'll have the off-menu special burger, please.

You know what that means?

It's triple-layered.

Humor, chat, and food.

Triple-decker, baby.

The off-menu burger for the off-menu podcast, live from New York City.

Thank you, New York Ed.

Thank you very much.

It's lovely to bring New York Ed out now and again because we are indeed in New York City, Josh.

New York City, you're embracing the culture to the point where it's offensive.

Yeah, that's a rude voice.

Still, good to see you, Ed Gamble.

My name is James A.

Caster, and we're going to ask a special guest, their favourite ever start of main course dessert, side dish, and drink.

We sure are.

And this week's special guest is...

Josh Groban.

Josh Groban.

Actual Josh Groban.

Actual Josh Groban.

Singer.

Very exciting.

Very exciting.

Very excited to meet him.

I don't know how many singers we've even had on the podcast.

We haven't had like

a great deal have we not many uh but josh's uh reputation precedes him of course he's very well known for his cigarette work and also just as a fun man he's a fun man uh he's in the muppets right he was in the muppets most wanted of course he's a fun man he was in the american office once that's fun yeah that is fun actually so jealous of that uh but it'll be a pleasure to meet him and find out his dream meal but however nice and however fun he is unfortunately if he says a secret ingredient he is going to be kicked in his butt until he has to leave the restaurant yeah that's how we do it around here.

And this week, the secret ingredient is

mocker.

A mocha.

Now, you're okay with mocha, aren't you?

I love a mocha.

Not me.

I mean, I don't drink coffee anyway.

Yeah.

But when I did, I was like, I even want a coffee or want a hot chocolate.

I don't want to.

I'm one of those guys.

When Starbucks came out, you're like,

I don't.

No.

What's all this mocha chocolate ladder?

Ya ya stuff.

I don't want a frappuccino, grand eventi, mocha choca lada, cinnamon roll, motherfucking white chocolate, whipped cream shit.

I tell you what I want.

I want a fucking coffee.

That's what I was like.

That's you, isn't it?

Yeah, I was like, I was like

a mid-2000s comedy routine.

Yeah, you know what?

I don't want any of this shit.

They're yourself and me up some sort of Halloween cinnamon gingerbread latte shit.

No, you gotta bring your own cup.

You kidding me?

These glarous cups, these metal cups?

Say they're killing the animals with with the paper cups.

I dropped my glass cup the other day.

I broke a dog's head open.

That is paper.

I'm laughing at that.

It's an actual funny comedy routine.

I'm not even messing around.

But we don't want Josh to say mocha.

If Josh says mocha.

No, if Josh says mocker, then that's it.

But like, I'm kind of hoping you're saying mocha, so we're going to hear more of that guy.

More of that character, more of that routine, please.

What would that character think about when they write your name on the cup?

Oh my god, are you kidding me?

I mean, it's like the government, they're trying to find out who you are.

What's your name?

And they never get the name right, do they?

What does it say on the cup?

Fucking asshole.

But without further ado, because obviously I can just get Ed to do this for the rest of my life and be happy.

But also, I don't want to do that because I'm very

much looking forward to our guest.

Oh, he's on his way in now.

Look, Ed, it's Josh Groban.

Josh Groban.

Welcome, Josh Groban.

Thank you very much.

To the dream restaurant.

Wow.

Welcome, Josh Groban.

Thank you.

It looks pretty crowded.

I don't know if you have a table for one.

Oh,

I'll clear everyone out for you now, Josh Groban.

This is your dream restaurant.

I'll get rid of all these people that

prefer sitting at the bar.

Is that okay?

Oh, apologies.

Everyone back in.

Everyone, get back in.

Immediately.

I like a little energy and I want to.

Do you really prefer sitting up at the bar?

One of the things I do love about being in New York is it's not weird to sit alone.

I feel like everybody's doing their own thing.

Everybody's busy.

And just because you're alone doesn't mean you're lonely.

So in L.A., if you sit by yourself, they're just like, who is that weirdo?

My experience of L.A.

is if you sit by yourself, you have to have a laptop open to make it look like you're writing a screen.

Absolutely.

Or if you're going to talk to yourself, make sure you have a Bluetooth earpiece in your ear so people don't think you're crazy.

I like the sitting at the bar, though.

I mean, is that something that we haven't really discussed on this podcast yet?

But, like, yeah, when you come in and they're like, well, you don't have any tables, but you can sit at the bar.

I feel like that's such a great flex because,

you know, matrix Ds really get off on like saying, I'm sorry, it's about an hour wait.

You know, they just love telling you, do you have anything?

I'm looking right now, like about 45 minutes.

And then you say, ooh, boom.

Hey, mic drop, I'm by myself.

Do you have any corner bar seats?

First come, first serve.

I'll take that one, please.

And then you sit down and get served immediately, and you're just like, yes, alone.

Thank you.

Yeah, it is good.

I went to some place in LA once, and there's a huge queue for brunch out the door.

Brunch queue, yeah.

It's completely alone.

There's no brunch on my menu tonight today.

I want you guys to know.

I marched straight past the whole queue, marched up to the front of the queue.

That's right.

Hello, I am lonely.

Straight in.

Victoriously alone.

Victoriously alone.

The new album by Josh Groban.

And the other thing, cool thing about when you sit at the bar, too, is like, you know, a lot of times the people that are working behind the bar are, you know, they're culinary, you know, aficionados and they know their stuff.

They know their wines.

They know their booze.

They know their food.

And so, you know, you kind of like develop a little bit of rapport.

And then you become their kind of pal when you're sitting there.

And so they'll just kind of like, they'll put, all of a sudden, you'll see like a little glass in front of you, and he'll just be like, hey, hey, man, hey, you got to try a little bit of this.

And they'll just start splashing you things, you know, try this MezCal, try this, you know.

And so by the end of it, you've just had, you you know, you've had at least like $13 of free food and drink.

Really, it's a, it's a.

You shouldn't be sort of writing it down as you go along, though, just going like, yeah, another dollar there.

Yeah,

that was 73 cents of chat and oof de pop, thank you.

I saw that in a sushi restaurant, and these people are sitting basically at the bar, but it was where the sushi chef was.

Oh, yeah.

He was just slipping them little bits of raw fish.

Like a little sushi.

Like you're

copying.

He's a stray dog.

Yeah, yeah.

But he he was doing it.

He never looked at them in the eye.

So I was fascinated by it because I was looking from across the room and he would never look at them.

So he would never look at them directly.

He would just like hold the fish at them while looking at them.

Who the chef?

Yeah.

But he was like doing this, like it was a sneaky little deal.

Yeah, little bits of fish.

Yeah.

Walking them out.

It's like at Cats' Deli here, where you go in and get a sandwich.

And while they're making the sandwich before they do, they take a bit of the pastrami off or whatever.

Yeah.

And then just slide...

slide it across to you.

Yeah.

You get a little taste.

You get a little taste, yeah.

It's like, it's the closest I've ever come to, you know, like a crime crime film when they're like testing the drugs, someone will rub it on their gums first.

Yeah,

are they often passing meat at a crime scene?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, just a little bit of meat, rub it on the gums.

That always blows my mind in crime films when they do that, when they do that, when the detectives do a little taste test, rub it on the gums.

That's pure.

Are you high now?

Like, I was watching going, are you now high at work?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah.

Yeah, you get you get the Mel Gibson type who uh you know, dips his finger in it and goes, yeah, that's definitely the worst stuff.

Tito Von.

And then they just get on with with stuff.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's definitely.

Is it drugs?

Because you're fine now.

I don't know.

I've never tried cocaine, so I don't know if

those if those detective types have built a tolerance.

You've tried pastrami, though.

Oh, yes, absolutely.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The first one's free, and then I will pay anything for the rest.

They know what they're doing.

Change that drag and then agree.

Yeah, you can't really do that with soup, can you?

You go to a soup

place here and

little spoonfuls.

Yeah.

Take a slip of that.

Take a little slip.

Take a little slip of that or right out of the hand of the chef.

You're not hooking anyone on the soup.

Like, we went to a really nice ice cream place yesterday, and they always do that at an ice cream place.

They're like, you can taste some if you want.

Because they know it's good.

Right.

Soup.

Yeah.

No way.

Yeah.

Also, very rare that.

Well, I personally wouldn't have the guts to just be like, yeah, I'll try some and then no, thank you and go.

That's it for me too, because I actually like, I like little tastes.

And so for me, if I get a little taste of something, I'll be like, hmm, what a lovely afternoon this has been.

And I'm just like ready to move on with my day.

But I do, I get guilt, I feel guilty.

And I'm just like, oh, that's really, really good.

Yeah, no compliments to the ever.

Maybe I'll take five pints.

Or sure, why not?

We've over-ordered a lot here.

Yeah.

It's easy to do.

Yeah.

We've been here for about a week now, and most meals we've over-ordered.

Yeah, every single one, I'd say.

I was saying to her the other day, I over-ordered once, and like, I had like a big half a sandwich left at the end.

Yeah.

I was in LA and I wanted to, I thought, well, I was going to throw it away and I feel bad.

I've seen a lot of homeless people in LA.

So I thought, well, it'd be easy to go out and just give it to a homeless person.

Of course, right?

It's like they all just clocked out for the day and went, well, now we're not going to be here.

So I walked out.

And you went searching for homeless people in London?

So I was walking for ages.

Where were you in LA?

I was in

West.

Does that make sense?

West Hollywood?

How far west were you?

I was at a place called Bel Air Road and

in the corner of Golden Street and Diamond Avenue, and I couldn't find any.

I kept going west and I was in the ocean.

So there I was.

No shit.

There I was on a little raft.

Eventually, I found Tom Hanks on an island.

He looked like a good one.

To be fair, he was starving.

Yeah, yeah.

Here you go, buddy.

He was crying, though.

He said he'd lost a friend.

I don't know.

Anyway, I did eventually find a man, but he was, as I got closer to him, I realized he was eating a sandwich already.

Yeah, okay.

And I said to him, Do you want to do a sandwich?

And he looked at me and went, he went, I already have a sandwich.

And I was like, yeah, I don't know why I'm offering you a sandwich when you're eating a sandwich.

Right, no, yeah, of course.

Yeah.

I'm sorry

your altruism was

pretty bad, right?

And by the end, he walked so long that he had to have the sandwich.

You actually

needed the energy.

Well, it all worked out in the end.

Actually, the man who had the sandwich did take the sandwich in the end.

Good.

He's like,

that was good karma.

Even if you couldn't find a new home for the sandwich, it was a good karma, I think.

Yeah, yeah.

This was just

working about.

Mind if I asked since what we're talking about,

what was the sandwich?

Yeah, yeah.

So it was from Fat Sales.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Good choice.

I really like Fat Sals when I'm in L.A.

Yeah, too fat though.

You're a half.

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's the thing.

So I've got like a full,

I knew I shouldn't have gotten the full one.

It was a big full thing, yeah.

And I like the buffalo chicken one, which got the mozzarella sticks in it.

I always get the fries seasoned.

Big flavours.

Yeah, big flavour a lot.

I really go for it.

yeah and then i do a lot of refills on the on the on the dr pepper on the drink dr pepper yes you're the one yes wow

pleased to meet you yes

prescription for one

i feel like everything you just mentioned is like the stereotypical coming to america for like those flavors like the buffalo chicken seasoned fries dr pepper in a 42 ounce plastic bug or whatever yeah oh i'm not i'm not doing any of that back home.

No, no, it's I could do.

You could, I'm not doing that.

I'm doing it.

Yeah, no, that's uh, that's a that's a lot of flavor profiles.

Yeah,

I just really, I don't know, something I really like about also, it's like um, there's no walls to that fat cells.

There's no walls, but you can just see out into that.

Well, I guess there is like screen doors and stuff, but they just open it all up so it's just like completely and I like being able to look out into the streets because the main ingredient there is shame, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, and I filled up on it, yeah.

Well, half, yeah, half, and then yeah, try to balance it out with that.

Half a loaf of shame, please.

We always start with still a sparkling water.

Yeah, still.

I'm always still.

I'm a still dark.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Maybe it's a singing thing, but I get burpee very easily.

Right.

So, like, I, because I use,

and your listeners will be fascinated to know about my diaphragm work.

Absolutely.

No, but you like

it.

It is like breath control.

So, like, you know,

you're singing, you know, on stage since you're 15 years old, and you start to, like, realize, oh, if I drink sparkling water, if I drink soda or something like that, I will probably burp during a note.

I tested that theory, and sure enough, during a very serious Italian song in 2006, the Great Burp of 2006, I drank Mountain Dew.

That's our only big American soda.

Slam that do.

I slammed the dew.

I had a foot-long hoagie.

I slammed that dew.

And I went out on stage and I'm, you know, I'm I'm just, you know,

just doing

that up.

And I went like full-blown burp out there.

Do people still talk about being at that show?

Oh, man, it's it is stuff of legend.

Yeah, the first first two rows hurt everybody else.

Well, you must have known as soon as you did it, you must have been like, well, that's what they're going to go home talking about.

It doesn't matter what else I do tonight.

Actually, it was a good lesson because a lot of times things happen on stage that are super magnified to you and to your band because you're all wearing earpieces.

Everything's super sensitive.

Like the singer gets a lot of singing in their mix.

The drummer gets a lot of drums in their mix.

So we're all hearing ourselves super sensitively up there.

And the audience is hearing this big kind of washy blend of all of it.

So I honestly think it was okay.

But it taught me a valuable lesson.

Still water.

Always still.

Always still.

Or still Mountain Dew.

Just keep it out for years.

It will eventually lose its.

Yeah, what's the half-life on Mountain Dew?

Actually, I think we could probably survive a nuclear war.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bring that Mountain Dew back out.

It'd be tangier.

Yeah.

There's a lot of different.

I mean, we had Mountain Dew very briefly in the UK.

Yeah, so when I was a kid, I mean, I think you you know this, Ed, but it will still surprise you.

I used to play rugby.

I do know this, but it always still surprises you.

Yeah, yeah.

So I did that until I was like, whatever, like 13 or something.

A little sip in the scrum.

Yeah, well, that's the thing afterwards.

That's what the rugby bar sold was

Mountain Dew.

And I'd have that all the time.

I loved it.

I was a little bit scared.

Yeah, but when I'm in England and the rugby commercials, it's always like one, there's a specific beer that is like the walk into the bar on the shoulders of your mates and drink this pint.

And I forgot what it is.

It might might be, is it John Smith?

Yeah,

that's exactly right.

Yeah, where you,

you know, you made the winning score or what do you think?

Yeah,

yeah, yeah.

I think it's try.

I mean, you're not try.

You're also not talking to two sports people.

You really tried.

You really tried.

Have a beer.

That's what's sweet about the rugby.

You tried.

Well done.

You tried.

Well done.

Also, does the temperature of the drink affect your vocals?

Good question.

Yeah, absolutely.

You don't want to, as a general rule, you don't want to go too hot or too cold out there.

If you had the choice,

a warm tea is always really good.

Warm clears the throat.

Cold, I have found that cold kind of like makes you a little like,

you get the gremlins.

Yeah, yeah.

But I prefer cold, like really cold drinks when I'm not singing.

Like today, it's a gloomy, chilly, rainy day here in New York, and I've got my iced, very, very cold iced coffee here.

Yeah.

I'll be right in thinking then, if this is drinks choice here is based on vocals, that you're going to sing a little song in the dream message.

Are you going to sing during the meal?

Oh,

after the meal?

Are you going to eat at the bar and then you go over to the piano in the corner?

This is the not great for singing drink, the cold coffee.

But I do take requests at this.

So you have cleared out and then reinvited the entire restaurant.

So

now that I have a restaurant full of disgruntled people

who just had to leave and then come back again, surely they'd want to hear a bit of singing.

Have you ever had to, like, do you ever play in bars and stuff?

Like,

coming up.

You know, every so often I'll be at a birthday party for a friend or at a charity event or something like that.

And, you know, just go on, give us a song.

There's a piano man there.

Yeah.

Something happens.

Honestly, like,

I'm a true introvert at heart.

And the fact that I found myself in the performing landscape is

completely crazy.

But, you know, when I'm on stage and I know it's my show, I can really, I can turn it on.

I feel good.

People are there, they bought a ticket, they want to be there, most of them.

And so I'm, you know, I go for it, but if I'm in a restaurant or a public space or something like that, and someone says, Come on, you know, honestly, it is, it terrifies the hell out of it.

It really, really does.

It's scarier than playing Madison Square Garden.

It is like 10 people at a restaurant clinking their plates is way more frightening than 15,000 people.

Also, is the idea that there's people in the restaurant who just want to get on with their meal?

Yeah, absolutely.

Of course, yeah.

I wish to God I had like the Kanye energy where I was just like, anything I do is awesome, and you're lucky to hear it.

Like, I just,

I just can't.

I just can't be.

I just, I really, I will find out of an arena of people, I will find the one person crossing their arms who was dragged there.

And I will just, the whole rest of the night, inside, I'll be right back.

I think we both do that with stand-up as well.

You can find people's faces.

I don't think that's abnormal for performance.

Yeah.

I think that if you care about what you do, then you're always looking for.

Also, you're doing it every night.

Every single night you're doing it.

You're used to the

good response.

By that point, you're your own worst self-critic.

And so you're looking for the one guy that agrees with you out there.

You're the one you're not fooling.

The danger is stopping the show and going, right, why aren't you?

No, yeah, no, no, no.

Don't feed the trolls.

Yeah, yeah.

It's excellent stuff.

I mean, I'll do it, I don't know, nine times out of ten.

Sometimes I'll do it because I'm bored.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

There's never a good answer to that question either.

What why why are you looking like that for?

Oh, because I'm having the best time of my life.

And this is how I enjoy things.

I think you're great.

Do you respond to hecklers in comedy?

Do you let it let it roll or do you

hit them back?

I always find there's sort of less hecklers than sometimes people think there are.

You watch the YouTube clips and you just assume it happens every show.

Exactly.

I think some people think that, yeah, it does to James, but you're an awful comedian.

Yeah, to be fair.

You're going to take that?

Yeah, you are.

I have no comeback to that.

There you go.

Perfect example.

That answers that question.

Moving right along.

Pop Popadums an or bread.

Pop-a-dums or bread, Josh.

Pop-a-doms or bread.

And I couldn't give away the sandwich.

That's my time.

Thank you so much.

Pop-a-doms or bread.

Pompadums or bread.

I'm so sorry.

That was a response to your heckle.

It was a question.

I don't know.

It doesn't sound like it was a response to a heckle, actually.

Yeah, yeah.

Is that an actual question?

Are you actually asking me?

It was a heckle of my own.

We're too asking you.

Pompadums were bread.

What's a pompadum?

Well, this is the problem that we found crossing the pond.

Yeah.

Back home, there's a lot of curry houses and

a lot of Indian restaurants, and they'll bring poppadoms along before the meal.

I have heard it, and I know it's Indian, but it reminds me of the texture and the

crispy, crispy, sort of large, like almost like large chips.

Yes.

Oh, it's the crispy.

Yes, you break it off and you dip it in a chutney or things like that.

Oh, very good.

Oh, yeah.

Well, that is very good.

Or anything else that is bought at this point in the meal.

Yeah.

I don't really want to restrict people to poppadums or bread.

There's like prawn crackers sometimes, or there's like tortilla chips.

I also like a plantain chip.

Oh, I like a plantain chip with a little

spicy guac.

Nice.

That's always good, too.

Yeah.

I don't think we've ever had anyone select plantain chips with a spicy guac.

No, we haven't.

It'd be a great choice.

Yeah, it would be a pretty great choice.

Cheeky hummus.

Cheeky hummus.

Yeah.

Again,

we haven't had anyone select hummus at this point, let alone a cheeky hummus.

Yeah, well.

Yeah.

I'm surprised Nish didn't.

Our friend Nishkuma,

excellent comedian.

He's been on the podcast.

I'm surprised he didn't choose Hummus because he eats it with a spoon by the tub.

Yeah, like I used to live with Nish and regularly used to come into the kitchen.

He'd be stood up by the fridge eating hummus like a yogurt.

It's a controversial question.

Does hummus always have to have something you're dipping it into, or can you eat hummus spoon alone?

Texturally, I find it weird to eat it spoon alone.

Like, I have to have another texture with it.

Leave your answers in the comments.

Yeah.

Nish doesn't dip things into hummus.

He dips into hummus.

Yeah.

I think it's a dip.

Yeah, I think it's a dip, too.

What's your dream thing to dip into hummus?

Oh, you know, actually, you know what?

Good question.

Raw

sugar snap peas.

Wow.

Yeah, yeah.

They're crunchy, they're sweet.

They give me like the crunch of a carrot, but carrots just, you have one and you're like, that's, okay, that's my carrot.

Yeah.

Like, I don't, I'm going to eat multiple raw baby carrots.

You have one.

You actually probably eat half of one and have a conversation with someone while you're crunching it and then put the rest of it in your napkin and throw it away.

But the sugar snap peas, my goodness, really.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What's the difference between those and like Monge 2?

Monge 2 thing, aren't they?

The sugar snap peas and mange two, I think.

We'll get the great bonito to google it.

You know what a weird thing that I like that's good to dip that like I can rarely get it because apparently there's like some health rule at most of like the hotel kitchens.

They won't do it for you.

I like raw potatoes.

Wow.

I like sliced raw potatoes and I've liked them since I was a kid.

My grandpa used to eat them and used to,

you know.

That's amazing.

I've never heard that.

i think occasionally i might have accidentally eaten a bit of raw potato and it's just something that sort of like dries your mouth out or something it's like just yeah i think you're supposed to eat that josh i don't know if you are but it's a it's a strange thing so you you dip raw potato into hummus i will dip raw potato into hummus or like a honey mustard dip the the ultimate is a raw potato and honey mustard wow i've never ever heard when did you start doing this papa doms bread or raw potato and honey

want raw potato and honey mustard well yeah i did get it for you i did thank you thank you so much.

Yeah, we'll absolutely do that.

Yeah, that's something you can do.

So your grandfather used to eat more potatoes.

Well, that seems like a grandfather sort of thing to do.

Oh, would you like to go to your raw character?

Like a grandfather would swear by that.

He thinks it's cooked.

It's just been in the oven for four hours.

Sure, it has.

The crispiest chip you'll ever have.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, no, it's.

I don't know.

And then my mom likes to slice them and, you know, she'd be making cooked potatoes and just would slice, you know, without looking, you know, hand

handed the raw potato slice to his kids.

No eye contact.

You sat up at the bar.

Don't till days.

Yeah, sitting up at the counter of the kitchen, you know, doing math homework and getting that raw potato.

Sugar snaps have a rounder shape than Mongetu, a crunchy texture and very sweet flavor.

Monge two are flat with very small peas inside and have a mild flavor.

They are also called...

They're also called snow peas.

During cooking, the sugar snaps stay crunchy and green.

Yeah, snow peas.

Snow peas are, yeah, they're flat.

The snow peas are flat, used in a lot of Asian cuisine.

You see them in a stir-fry, things like that.

Sugar snap are fatty, fat, fatty.

Yeah.

Great.

Plump.

But I think you should go for, at this stage of the meal, you should go for the raw potatoes and honey mustard.

I think so.

Was that the starter?

No.

Oh, that's just...

Don't you worry.

That's a little course we've thrown in.

Oh, yeah, don't worry.

Thank you about that.

That's my little pressure.

You're not going to push into having raw potatoes.

I fill up on that course.

I am guilty of always, whatever that is that you just offered me,

before I've sat, you know, before I've ordered anything, I'll fill up.

Like, I think it's always, like, I'm always upset about it, but always, like, smart when the restaurant doesn't give you pompadom bread and snow peas with homes because I will be like, oh, you know, I was going to get a starter and dessert, but you know what?

I think I'm just going to have a salad.

What is your starter?

My starter, okay.

So growing up in LA, we've got a lot of,

we've got a lot of restaurants that like, when you become famous, you realize you're not, you shouldn't go there anymore because you realize it's like a spot where there's going to be paparazzi and things like that.

So I actually have not been to this spot in a long time because it's got

such an aura of, oh, you're going to that place.

So, there's a restaurant called the Ivy in Los Angeles.

Very famous restaurant.

And, you know, it's just kind of come a caricature of itself as far as like, oh, you're going to the Ivy?

Oh, you want to get your picture taken at the Ivy?

So, the Ivy also happens to have just really incredible food.

Specifically, they have a corn chowder.

So, I love corn.

If I could live my life eating raw potato and corn my whole life, I'd be just so happy.

I know, such a weirdo.

But I love corn anything.

I just love the texture.

I love the flavor.

But I love a corn chowder, and I specifically love a corn chowder that's not super like thick and creamy.

I like a very kind of fresh, kind of brothy, you know, lots of real, real corn in there, corn chowder.

And they make a spite, like a nice, really spicy one.

Yeah.

And so it doesn't fill you up.

It gets you kind of going.

You don't feel super stuffed after it.

And I think that's probably my favorite corn chowder that I've ever had is that one at the Ivy.

So I would start with that.

How spicy is it?

What spice levels will be talking about?

Oh,

two peppers.

I don't know.

A couple of peppers.

A couple of peppers.

I think a couple of literal peppers in there or a couple of peppers in the center.

That would be the real peppers out of three.

Two out of three.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just a kick.

Just enough kick to,

you know, have another splash of still water.

But it doesn't, yeah, it doesn't sort of seize your whole head up or anything.

No, no, exactly.

I once had a soup at a Thai restaurant while I was on tour, and there was one of those little tiny, you know, those like dark red, thin peppers you get sometimes in Thai cuisine, and it's floating on the top there.

And I asked the waitress, I said, is this going going to be really spicy if I just bite into this?

And she says,

for me, no, but for you, definitely.

And I took it as a challenge.

And so I actually bit into it and I started to cry.

And she started, like, my eyes started welling up.

And I just kind of said under my breath, what have I done?

And

she walked away laughing.

Just so sad.

She warned you.

She warned Mike is that you didn't wait for her to leave and then bite it.

Nope.

Wait here.

I'm going to eat it.

She was there for the show.

Is this spicy?

For me, no, for you, yes.

Watch this.

Watch this.

Yep.

Bam.

I did that the other day.

We were at a Thai restaurant.

There was like a chili on the plate.

Popped it straight in my mouth.

And I immediately get the hiccups.

Yeah.

I just get hiccups straight away.

What is that?

It's like when you're a kid and you see something that might hurt you and you just have to touch it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I did that.

One of my earliest memories is I touched a red hot iron.

It was just left on the ironing board by the way.

You didn't, but how else could you tell?

Yeah.

I walked along, but I just distinctly remember looking up at it because I was small.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Seeing it and just immediately just

a whole flat hand.

Yeah.

Well, you put the whole bam.

Just like, but just going like, I wonder what that feels like.

Doing it.

And then it felt the worst

ever felt.

Well, that means your nervous system is working appropriately.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Why do we have it?

It did then.

Yeah.

I can't feel anything in that hand anymore.

Now you have what we call the stranger.

Yeah, yeah.

Congratulations.

Well done you.

Thank you very much.

Little stranger hand.

Yeah.

I think that sounds like a nice start to a child.

We haven't had a child.

I don't even need a sample.

We've noticed that.

I know exactly what I want.

No thymble of corn chowder for me.

It's great you told us you grew up in LA, but so far we've got raw potato and corn chowder.

It sounds like you grew up in Iowa or something in the Great Depression.

When I run for president, this will come in real handy.

Yeah, these foods.

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With a modular design and changeable slip covers, you can customize your sofa to fit any space and style.

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Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

You check your feed and your account.

You check the score.

and the restaurant reviews.

You check your hair and reflective surfaces and the world around you for recession indicators.

So you check all that, but you don't check to see what your ride options are.

In this economy, next time, check Lyft.

There's a part of me that everyone sees.

I'm Howie Mandel, the comedian.

Apparently, I know what funny is.

Funny bought me a house, but I also know what isn't funny, OCD.

I've lived with OCD my entire life and people throw the term around like it's no big deal.

But OCD is severe, often debilitating.

It's a mental health condition that involves unrelented, unwanted thoughts that can make you question your character, your beliefs, even your safety.

General therapy can help with some things, but for OCD, it can actually make things worse.

That's why I want to tell you about No CD.

No CD is the world's largest treatment provider for OCD and is covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans.

Their licensed therapists specialize in ERP, the most effective effective treatment for OCD.

If you think you might be struggling with OCD, go to nocd.com to book a free 15-minute call.

They are here to help.

Your main course.

Main course.

I think you've teed yourself up very nicely for, I think this could go anywhere.

Yeah,

you actually called me on the raw thing because

this is another raw item.

So this will be a little bit strange, but it's got a little tiny bit of a story.

So I love sushi.

I love sushi.

LA, New York has equally great sushi, in my opinion.

Great, great sushi restaurants.

And so I recently went to Japan, and I love it there, too.

It's an incredible

convergence of old and new.

There's just so many things to see, so many different styles of food to eat there, and I love Japanese food.

So my girlfriend and I went to,

what is it called?

It was the Tsukiji Tokyo Fish Market.

It just closed down.

There's now a new fish market market called the Toyosu fish market, but

at the Tsukiji Fish Market, you'd have to get there at like five in the morning.

You have to get there before the sun rises.

And all the fish from all over the world is coming in right at that time.

And they're just throwing fish around and they're slicing fish up and they're and so it's an incredible thing just to witness that because the fish is just right out of the water.

And then there's a row of restaurants right next door to there.

And you have what they lovingly call breakfast sushi.

So you'll stand in line for probably 90 minutes to two hours.

There is no getting around the lines.

Everybody's there.

This is now at about 6.30, 7 o'clock in the morning by this time.

And you sit at the counter and it's omiase style.

They will just serve you whatever the fish is that came out of the water that morning and it has been out of the water for like two hours.

And you're getting like the freshest, most incredible Japanese sushi that you've ever had in your life.

You have to have it at 7 o'clock in the morning.

Your stomach is like, what is going on right now?

But if I could, since this is a dream restaurant, if I could take my breakfast sushi and have it at dinner time,

that would be amazing.

And I would even one-up that, and I would have what I consider to be the most unsung hero of Japanese sushi dishes, which is the chirashi.

Are you familiar with the chirashi?

I'm not.

Basically, it's like a bowl of white rice, and then they put all the fish on top of it.

And you basically have, it's like a bowl.

It's like a sushi bowl.

And so all the fish is right on top, and you kind of drizzle a little soy sauce on it, and you eat your sushi basically as one bowl.

I love it.

And

you don't often see Chirashi at sushi restaurants, but when I get it, oh, Chirashi Joshi in the house.

In the house.

I should start a Chirashi crawl

blog.

Yeah.

And just go Chirashi shopping.

I don't think anyone would have a single plumber.

And I don't think godaddy.com has that web domain.

No,

no one's got that.

No one's got it.

Whoever's listening, if you take Tirashi Joshi from me, so help me, God, I will find you.

I will Liam Neese in your ass.

Any particular type of fish that you want on the Tirashi?

You know, then after that, I like the usuals.

I get the tuna and the salmon and the yellowtail.

I love, you know, I like tamago.

I love the tamago, which is like the cooked egg.

It's like the sweet omelette.

Absolutely love it.

Yeah, it's really, really tasty.

That's really good.

I like a scallop.

I like a raw scallop on there.

Oh, and then my favorite is uni.

So that's an acquired taste.

That's the sea urchin.

I didn't used to like it.

It was a look thing, it was a texture thing.

I think the first thing I said when I saw Ooni was like, That looks like baby poop.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's always going to put you off.

That's it will.

Yeah, so it was a good many years after those words left my mouth before I actually tried it.

Now you eat baby poop as well.

Now I eat baby poop as well.

Yeah, exactly.

Very acquired taste.

Dipping the raw potatoes into it.

I have to go.

Wow.

Dream restaurant.

That sounds absolutely amazing.

So, anyway, yeah, Shirashi with all those things, fresh out the boat in Tokyo at a little hole-in-the-wall bar.

That's my meal of it.

I went to Japan quite recently.

Every night, we'd be like, tomorrow we'll get up and we will go to the fish market and we never woke up on time.

Next time, we will go to the fish market.

Yeah, it was a disaster.

We missed it every morning.

You saw some Pokemon out there, didn't you?

Saw some Pokemon, yes.

That was the first day.

Okay.

No time limit for that.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, they're just.

I mean,

as long as someone hasn't caught them all.

Everybody playing Pokemon was waking up at two in the afternoon, anyway.

Let's be honest.

On day one, when we arrived, we were very jet-lagged and couldn't check into a hotel.

And my fiancé dragged us to the Pokemon restaurant,

which was a nightmare.

You chose that over the robot restaurant?

We went there the night after.

The Pokemon restaurant was a waking nightmare.

We were so tired.

Well, that's the other thing, too, is that your brain is just like, it's two in the morning for you.

Yeah, exactly.

And then a massive Eeve came out with security guards.

It's absolutely petrified.

Yeah, security guards.

I love it.

The food was awful.

It's like a Mayan fever dream.

Yeah.

It's so strange being there.

It's true.

You go through like Shinjuku and all those areas where

you have those themed restaurants and it's absolutely crazy.

And you can't, as a tourist, it's hard to tell whether like you're doing just the tourist thing.

Yeah.

They love those things too.

You'll go and it's like, no, no, this thing is weird and campy and outrageous, but it's also part of the culture and they love it.

And so, I mean, that's that's part of, I mean, I, I went to the robot restaurant on night one.

So, so me and my girlfriend, we were exhausted, jet-lagged, and we chose to go to the robot restaurant, which I don't know.

I think there was, there was something about being that tired and having that in your face.

Yeah.

It was just like, this is the craziest shit I've ever seen in my life.

But yeah, that's we went, we went on the, so we landed, did all the Pokemon thing, and then the next day I proposed.

Oh, and and then we went to the robot restaurant.

And now he's married to a squirtle.

Wow.

Congratulations.

It's a shame you had to break up with your girlfriend.

But she shouldn't have taken you to that restaurant where you met the love of your life.

But now he has 24-hour security around him.

That must be a cool thing.

It's pretty good.

You know, my life's changed a lot.

Yeah.

I was wandered before I came in here today.

Yeah, yeah.

We can't go to the Ivy anymore.

No, of course not.

No.

Oh, no.

Yeah, partly because she doesn't have a mouth.

Yeah, yeah.

because the squirtle's X is an ivysaw.

Yeah.

Which is

reminds her.

See, that's a proper.

James knows a lot about Pokemon.

Only the real Pokemons would know.

Oh, I'm playing it 24-7.

You're playing it with the app thing?

Oh, yeah, I'm doing it all the time.

I've absolutely cleaned up in New York.

There are Pokemon here that you can't get back home.

I've caught a Tauros, I've caught a Surviper.

Congratulations.

Yeah, the other night we got back to the hotel and then we all went to bed.

And then half an hour later, James admitted he saw a Pokemon on his phone that he could only get here and he ran back outside the hotel and had to go around the block to find it.

Are there 50 other people?

No, no, we don't.

You can't go out there like looking at the same thing.

Oh, it is not as popular anymore.

No.

Okay, so I downloaded it while I was on tour, which was a bad idea because one, you need sleep.

And two, like, here's the thing is, like, have you been mugged yet?

That's my other question.

No, no, is that the whole thing is that it wants to send you off into the middle of that park at three o'clock in the morning to find whatever near the fountain.

Yeah.

And that just happens to be where everybody's just smoking meth.

So I guess it's

people itself up.

Yeah, people have said that it's brought them into dangerous areas or criminals will look on it and see where people are going to go.

Oh, wow.

And then

they're on their phones

looking for a new Pokemon, and that's when they'll hold it.

Well, good luck starting on me because I've got a

lot of tough Pokemon that I can set on them.

Yeah.

I'm not sure that's

if they start on me,

I just break out, like, I don't know, probably.

What's the strongest one I've got at the minute?

It's like a

Dragonite.

Dragonite's the strongest one I've got.

I'll break out the Dragonite and he'll biff them up.

I'll just see you being stabbed by a mugger while going.

But Dragonite's going to get you!

Dragon Bar, Dragonite!

I'll choose you!

Dragonite, please!

I choose you!

Oh, it hurts so much.

Quick side note: the Dragonite sashimi at the Tsuchi D fish market is.

Don't you even dare, Josh.

Don't you dare!

Stitacular, little wasabi.

Well, that sounds like a delicious

and a very sort of fresh, almost light meal so far.

You're not going to feel too full.

No, exactly.

Just eat the corn soup and the sush.

I'm take a little walk and I'm ready.

I imagine on this podcast, you get a lot of people that are just there just throwing out their most decadent.

Yeah, for sure.

And like, I, this is my pet peeve about like the tasting courses when you go to the five-star, you know, Thomas Keller has the most incredible restaurants, but you go to a place like that has 18 courses, plus like the cookies they give you with the bill, plus like, here's a loaf on your way out.

Yeah.

And you're just, you reach that point of euphoria around course eight, whatever.

Yeah, yeah.

And then the rest of it just winds up being a man versus food like exercise where you're just like, I can, I will.

And then they go, was something wrong?

I was like, yeah, I'm just, I'm bursting at the scene.

Yeah.

But no, so far, a big, big thing for me was making sure that it wasn't, it wouldn't, we wouldn't get too full here today, guys.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

We want to make it to the end.

And now your star is going to be an entire chicken.

Yeah, exactly.

I like starter.

I went side dishes.

Ah, fuck that.

Actually, my.

We'll fix that.

Oh, God.

I can't believe it.

But anytime going back to the beginning, I said side dishes and entire chicken.

And now your side dish is an entire chicken.

And then you put a laugh track on that.

You know what he's going to do.

Pick one of Josh's laughs from elsewhere in the episode.

Put it after when I said side dishes to chicken.

He's going to leave in all of that, you know?

Oh, that'd be ridiculous if he left in all of that.

He's my friend, right?

Just use this one.

I'm always nice to him.

I never try and screw him over on the podcast.

Can we start over?

I would right back to the chicken.

A chicken would be great.

You have a chicken.

You've actually changed my mind.

We're giving you that as you leave.

Much better than a raw potato.

Oh, the chicken's raw.

Raw chicken.

The chicken.

Still dipped in honey mustard.

Don't mean to interrupt our own podcast here.

It's Ed and James just quickly chipping in to let you know some exciting news because obviously this brilliant episode with the wonderful Josh Groban was recorded a while ago and lots has happened since then.

And Josh has been very productive, and he's made an album, James.

I'm so excited.

I'm loving listening to this episode, Ed.

It's a real trip down memory lane.

And to know that Groves is still putting out high-quality content during this crazy year of ours, it warms my heart.

He's a very productive man, and the new album from Josh Groban is called Harmony.

Harmony.

It's available on November the 20th.

Go and check it out.

But without further ado, we should probably get back to the episode now.

Hand it over to past Josh.

And past James and Ed.

Hey guys, watch out.

Something real bad's going to happen in the world.

Enjoy your donuts.

There's nothing like sinking into luxury.

At washable sofas.com, you'll find the Anibay sofa, which combines ultimate comfort and design at an affordable price.

And get this, it's the only sofa that's fully machine washable from top to bottom, starting at only $699.

The stain-resistant performance fabric slip covers and cloud-like cloud-like frame duvet can go straight into your wash.

Perfect for anyone with kids, pets, or anyone who loves an easy-to-clean, spotless sofa.

With a modular design and changeable slip covers, you can customize your sofa to fit any space and style.

Whether you need a single chair, love seat, or a luxuriously large sectional, Annibay has you covered.

Visit washable sofas.com to upgrade your home.

Right now, you can shop up to 60% off store-wide with a 30-day money-back guarantee.

Shop now at sofas.com.

Add a little

to your life.

Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

There's the part of me that everyone sees.

I'm Howie Mandel, the comedian.

Apparently, I know what funny is.

Funny bought me a house, but I also know what isn't funny, OCD.

I've lived with OCD my entire life and people throw the term around like it's no big deal.

But OCD is severe, often debilitating.

It's a mental health condition that involves unrelented, unwanted thoughts that can make you question your character, your beliefs, even your safety.

General therapy can help with some things, but for OCD, it can actually make things worse.

That's why I want to tell you about No C D.

No CD is the world's largest treatment provider for OCD and is covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans.

Their licensed therapists specialize in ERP, the most effective treatment for OCD.

If you think you might be struggling with OCD, go to NOCD.com to book a free 15-minute call.

They are here to help.

So my side dish might actually fill us up.

It's, you know, we mentioned, you mentioned, I forgot what deli you mentioned.

Was it Katz's?

Katsa's Katz's.

Yeah, great deli.

You can't go wrong with Katz's.

My preferred deli here in New York's on the Upper East Side, it's called Sable's Deli.

And they make the most incredible

whitefish salad, lobster salad, potato salad, that kind of stuff.

And so their lobster salad is,

you know, sometimes you get those lobster salads, and they're really skimping on the lobster.

It's like mostly mayo and filler and things like that.

This is just full-on chunks of lobster in the salad.

It will go great on a bagel.

So I would say

Sable's deli, it's on 2nd Avenue, I think between 72nd and 73rd, and with like bagel chips.

That's popadom bread.

Yeah.

Bagel chips.

I love bagel chips.

Really thinly sliced, crispy, like everything bagel or a raisin bagel chip would be amazing.

Is it just thin slices of crispy?

Thin slices of crispy, really, really super cooked bagel.

It's a chip.

It's a bagel turnip little chip.

And you dip that into one of these like amazing fish salads, lobster salad or white fish salad.

It is so good.

Now, the whole salad thing, I think to us in the UK, if you said lobster salad, we'd immediately imagine.

A lobster on lettuce.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

But here, lobster salad is basically like mayonnaise with stuff in it, right?

Yeah, yes.

Yeah.

Yes.

I mean, you could go to a place and they,

depending on the restaurant, lobster salad could very well beat lobster on a salad.

Sure.

But at a deli, I would say salad at a deli is specifically when salad means like mayo.

Because I was in, I went to Russ and Daughters this morning.

Oh, yeah.

Fantastic.

Was it a long wait?

No, it was really easy, actually.

Horrible weather.

Barely anyone was in there.

Walked straight in.

Grabbed a few bagels.

Yeah.

And now, there's been a bit of controversy on the trip, Josh.

Yesterday,

we'd been talking about going to Russ and Daughters a lot.

But yesterday morning, I had some work to do.

I do a radio show in the UK, so I had to phone in down the line to record it.

And with the time change.

Exactly, with the time change.

It was difficult, you know.

And then these guys went to Russ and Daughters without me.

Even though we'd planned the trip together, they did not buy me a bagel.

Wow.

So today, I went to Russ and Daughters by myself.

Not only did I get myself a bagel, I passively, aggressively bought them one as well.

Oh, you did buy them one.

Yes, because that's the ultimate revenge being the best guy.

Yeah, that's Ed's version of winning.

How did that make you feel?

It made me feel absolutely brilliant.

I got two bagels.

The second time I didn't even have to go.

Absolutely great.

The first time I went, didn't have to buy no one nothing.

Just bought myself a bagel.

Didn't buy him one.

The second time he went, bought himself a bagel and me a bagel.

I wasn't even thinking about it.

So this relationship is working out just great for you.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

So good.

I can't believe what a sucko Ed is.

I feel like I've got the moral high ground still, I think.

Oh, yeah.

This is working out for both of you.

This is how you choose friends.

You're just absolutely at peace with being one or the other.

And it works for you.

Here's the loophole I found.

As soon as Ed gave me the bagel and I had a moral high ground, I walked around for two hours until I found a homeless man.

And gave the bagel away.

I gave it away, and now I've done it.

Then you've got the moral high ground.

Bad luck, Ed.

No.

I ate my whole bagel.

Yeah, you ate it all to yourself?

What kind of bagel did you get?

Just like a classic, like it was scallion cream cheese, actually.

Okay.

With salmon.

And what the bagel itself?

Oh, just poppy.

Oh, poppy seed.

Yeah.

Good.

He got me poppy seed as well.

I would have chosen sesame seed.

Sesame?

Okay.

So that was a bit of anger.

I'm going back tomorrow, Josh.

Maybe not the good guy that you think he is.

I'm going back tomorrow.

Making me eat goddamn poppy seeds.

It was delicious.

What's your favourite bagel?

I like an everything bagel or an onion bagel.

What is an everything bagel?

Because as far as I'm concerned, it's making promises it can't keep.

Yeah, absolutely.

It's everything you just mentioned.

It's poppy seed, it's sesame seed, it's onion, it's raisins.

It's basically every single style of bagel you could want, but all put into one bagel.

But not everything.

Not everything that isn't normally on a bagel.

It's not like cheese on it.

Only.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's just bagel ingredients.

So we've spoken to people who feel that that sort of bagel is sacrilege.

Really?

Yeah.

We've spoken to people who think you should either have plain, poppy, or sesame seed, and anything outside of that is like too much on the bagel and it makes them angry.

Their sex lives are terrible.

You know that.

Spice up your bagel life for crying out loud.

They're never going to be swayed.

There's no way that's not.

There's no reason to rant on Twitter about these people.

There's no getting through to them.

Never change their minds.

That's true.

Just order what you want.

So the lobster salad is like chunks of lobster, mayo.

What else is in there?

You know, I think there might be a little bit of spice, might be a little bit of kick, but I actually think it's pretty plain.

I don't think there's much else in there.

I think it's just lobster salad, lobster, a little bit of mayo, maybe a little bit of egg yolk, and a whole lot of love.

Sounds delicious.

Yeah, very rich.

That is the one very rich thing.

Do you normally share it, or do you have it all to yourself?

I will share it with the quotation marks.

I'll put a little spoonful.

Can I offer you a little spoonful of lobster?

I'll find like a claw, like one

little chunk.

Yeah, okay.

Okay, there you go.

Yeah.

And no, I hoard the lobster salad for myself.

Good plan.

It's a great, it's a great sporting.

If you got a sport to watch, like for us, the Sunday football, you know, and you get a lot of like spreads.

You know, you get like the bagels and the locks and the salads and all that stuff.

That's that's a good brunch.

Your drink, Josh.

My drink.

Okay, so this is the, this is, I mentioned people kind of might come in here and talk, might talk some sheeshy, real she-she foods.

Uh, I, my parents, uh, speaking of my dad and my mom, uh, they just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary, which was like, this is insane.

I don't know, we're the swiping generation.

Yeah, you know, we just, I celebrated my two and a half year with my girlfriend, and it's like, how do we, how did we do it?

That's incredible.

50 years.

We took a barge through France, like through Burgundy.

So I love wine.

I love learning about wine.

I don't know a lot about it.

I just love drinking it.

But this was really, really fun because you get to kind of slow roll down these very cool, very scenic barge canals.

And then you stop, you hop off, you get on a bike, and you go to these, you know, Burgundy wine.

Apparently, I didn't know this, but Burgundy is like the cream of the crop, especially for red wine.

It's Pinot Noir grapes or Chardonnay grapes, which are my two favorite wine grapes.

And I just learned a lot about Burgundy.

And I learned also just how expensive a hobby it is, like the really great Burgundy wines, like a Romany Conte or one of those.

We were holding grapes in our hands, and the tour guide is like, those are $1,000 per bushel.

We're going, wow, okay, yeah.

Put that down.

But they have finished their harvest, so feel free to eat.

I'm like, okay.

We were eating just $1,000 grapes.

And then, you know, you taste it, and it's like, oh, this is everything I want in a wine.

Like, you see, you watch like Sideways or those movies where they talk about what's your aha wine?

You know, what's the wine that really got you going?

And I'm thinking, that's not a thing.

It's like when people people say, like, when were you called to the priesthood?

Like, is that a thing?

Like, did you actually, like, you had a vision?

Like, I'm so jealous of people who have visions or who have aha moments about a wine.

Oh, yeah, no, it was that,

you know, it was that Cabernet 1968.

You had the wine.

I've never had anything like that until like this moment.

I had like the wine.

And so drinking that.

drinking that that burgundy made me realize just what an incredible flavor profile that wine has so i would say

my glass of wine of choice would be a wine I have not yet had because it's $6,000 a bottle.

I got to hang out in the vineyards, but I would have a glass of Romani Conte

Grand Crew burgundy.

Wow, so you really are taking the dreams.

I think that, yeah, all of these other things I have had or could have, I think that I'm going to ask the dream genie

to pour me a glass of something that is like a pipe dream drink.

Yeah, that's a great choice.

I'm not sure how $1,000 a bottle.

Yeah, at least.

Wow.

Yeah, yeah.

And so, you know,

the thing is, though, about wine, too, is that you can have a great $20 bottle of wine.

You know, you can find 95-point wine that's also 30 bucks.

And so you never, you know, unless you're just trying to super impress somebody at a party or you won the lottery, like, you just don't need to, you don't need a $6,000 bottle of wine in your collection.

So,

so, so, yeah, that would be, that would be fun.

I should befriend a billionaire.

Or go and do a show for like a shake or something.

Right, right.

That's what you want.

I once went to Andrew, Lord Andrew Lloyd Weber's house,

and we were working on, oh, we weren't working on anything together.

We were just, he was a friend of a producer of mine, and we went over there, and

I got to play him a song.

I was working on it, he got to play me a song.

He was working on, I've been a musical theater guy since I was a kid.

I went to college music.

So, hanging out at Andrew Lloyd Weber's house, super fun, and he was so nice.

But, you know, at that level of wealth, it's just you realize that it's just, it's like pouring us tap water.

He pulled out a bottle and he says, oh,

would you like a drink?

And we said, sure.

And he goes, we had a party last night, and this was a real star at the party.

It's drinking quite well right now.

I'm going, great.

I mean, this is two o'clock in the afternoon, so we're thinking nice little lunch wine, maybe a rosé, perhaps, you know?

And

my friend Marius DeVries, who's a producer in London,

I took a picture of the label.

We're like, oh, yeah, that was a $5,000 bottle of wine pulled out for lunch.

Wow.

Awesome.

I love that you played each other's songs.

Yeah.

As well.

Yeah, I'm working on this.

What would you have done if you had played him a song that you worked on?

And then he would have gone, like, oh, that's great.

I like that.

I need to be drunker to hear that again.

And then what if he sat down and went, okay, I'm just working on this.

And he was just like, my name's Andrew.

Hello, hello, hello.

I have feet and I have to go.

And he was like, did that.

What would you do in response?

Because you're in his house.

You've just played him a song and he said it's brilliant and he loves it.

And then he just does like the stupidest, worst song you've ever heard.

How do you respond to that?

Everybody, I am Andrew.

Hello, hello, hello.

I have shoes and I have to go now.

Yeah, that's it.

I mean, that's the next chorus is: I have shoes and I have.

Yeah, yeah, I have shoes that I have to go.

Because he found out that feet are not enough and we have to leave.

He needs to put something on the feet.

I think he only writes for characters that don't wear shoes.

Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cats.

Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

just think Jesus.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And the Phantom of the Opera is beach blanket boogaloo.

Oh, boy.

That went directions I never expected.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, to answer your question, I would say, you know, that's really interesting, and I can't wait to see how it develops.

Oh, yeah, very good.

Yeah, great.

We get a lot of people to tell us that about the podcast.

Yeah, our podcast is the equivalent of My Name's Andrew.

Three hellos, one goodbye.

Talking of goodbyes, we've reached the dessert.

The goodbye, the meal, I guess, for farewell.

My dessert is brief.

It's not a fancy dessert.

So this was actually because of my mom.

For some reason, like every holiday, especially Christmas time, like there, we wouldn't get a lot of candy or anything like that, but there was one thing candy-oriented I would get like in my Christmas stocking every year, and it's chocolate-covered gummy bears.

And so, like, ever since I was little, and then what I would do, what I do with the chocolate bears in parentheses, is have to be refrigerated.

Right.

Because when you get the chocolate-covered gummy bears, you don't want them to be too warm or any of that's disgusting.

Put them in the fridge or freeze them.

That's even better.

And just work on that chocolate-covered gummy bear for a good two, three hours.

It's fancy, it's great.

Oh, wow.

I just love them.

Do you want chocolate-covered gummy bears bears put in the freezer?

Yeah.

And bought out in a little cup.

That's right.

Yeah, little cup.

And at this point, are you still drinking the $5,000 bottle of wine?

Absolutely.

I don't think that pairing has ever happened before.

Oh, my God.

So when we were on the burge,

we'd still have a ton of wine in our glasses because they poured lots of wine.

And so you'd be, the wine would still be there as they were bringing out dessert.

And the other thing about burgundy wine is it pairs really, really well with sweet things, and especially chocolate, and especially dark chocolate.

So

yeah, so yeah, I would just be finishing that bottle of Romani Conti with the chocolate-covered gummy bears.

Are they dark chocolate-covered?

Yeah, they have to.

Yeah, dark chocolate-covered bear bear bears.

Dark chocolate-covered gummy bears.

Gummy bears that have been in the freezer.

Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen a chocolate-covered gummy bear.

In England, I'm sending them.

You can get them in those American shoes.

I'm sending them.

I'm sending them to you.

I'll send them to you.

Great.

Yeah, I'll send you a bagel.

Everything bagel.

Oh, no.

Made me feel so bad.

And GarageBand for you to put down all those wonderful ideas you have in that brilliant head of yours.

Send them over to ALW.

Sorry, I came up with Corner, I Am Andrew.

It's for you to sing, Andy.

It's bad if you had to sing when you have guests over.

Just when you pull out a $5,000 bottle of wine.

You can sing anything you want, Andrew.

Emails me back.

James, how did you know about my song?

Yeah.

You have Nodrid in this.

Who's the mole?

Yeah.

I'm going to read you back your order now.

Thank you.

See how you feel about it.

All right.

So you like still water, not too cold.

Popped on some bread you chose, raw potato with honey mustard.

That seems like a long time ago now, but

starter, a corn chowder from the ivy in LA.

Main course is a breakfast sushi, a chirashi style.

Yeah, chirashi turashi.

What was the fish again that you wanted in that?

Oh,

just your normal tuna salmon, tuna salmon, yellowtail, gunini, tomago, and uh scallop.

Jamboree, there, especially a jamboree.

Sardish, lobster salad with bagel chips, some sables.

Yep.

Drink, a Romani-Conte Grande, crew burgundy.

Whole bottle.

Wee wee.

Dessert, dark chocolate covered gummy bears, frozen in a cup.

In a cup, yes, thank you.

Yeah, that sounds delicious.

The cup can be made of cookie.

Yeah,

absolutely.

Cookie cup.

Yeah, a little cookie cup.

Also, that's quite a, if you are sitting at the bar, it's quite a good thing to have that at the bar.

A lot of these have been quite good bar foods.

Good bar foods, yeah.

Like

your dips, you've got soup, sushi, bowls,

you got another dip essentially.

Yeah, yeah, right, yeah.

You've got a glass of wine and and you've got a little cup of gummy.

That's right.

That's a little Groban at the bar.

That's Grubin at the bar.

So if you're out there and you do see me sitting at the bar,

just stay away from my food.

Say to the waiter, send that guy over a cup of raw potatoes.

And write, I'm Josh Groban.

Hello, hello, hello.

On a napkin and slide it down.

I love raw potatoes.

Josh, thank you so much for coming in the middle.

That's been an absolute joy.

Thank you so much.

But you have feet and you have to go.

I do have feet and I really have to go.

it's been a pleasure and a privilege.

Josh Groban there.

Wonderful, wonderful menu.

Great menu.

Nice man.

Lovely chat.

Yes, no complaints here.

Absolutely zero complaints, especially because he didn't choose our secret ingredient, mocha.

No.

I was a bit worried when he said he was drinking an iced coffee.

Yeah.

He walked in with that iced coffee.

I was like, oh, I'm going to have coffee guy.

There's no chocolate in there.

No deal.

Where's this heading?

But luckily, it was a lovely, expensive bottle of wine that he'd never even drank in his life.

Good choice.

Good choice.

I would rather have something I've never, ever had before than a goddamn mocker, personally.

Now, James, that also, that episode

was the official announcement that you're writing a musical based on the life of Sir Andrew Lloyd Weber.

Yep, absolutely happy to announce that my name is Andrew.

It's going to hit the West End.

Well, it's an unspecified date at the minute.

You know, I've got to talk to a few people.

Yeah, sure.

Well, Josh, Josh seemed on board.

I think Josh is going to help you produce it by the sounds of it.

Yeah, yeah, Josh is is going to help me.

Yeah, it would say book by James A.

Castor, music by Josh Groves.

Yes, absolutely.

Not that Josh doesn't have his own projects on the go.

You can get his last album, Bridges,

which I think is a musical tribute to the work of Kevin Bridges.

Yes,

as far as we're aware, it's about the Scottish comedian Kevin Bridges.

And a lot of the lyrics are very hard to understand.

A bit unintelligible.

Sure, but very funny.

Yes, yeah.

So go and check that out.

In the meantime,

we're going to carry on walking around New York City.

Maybe Ed's going to do a few more characters for us.

Oh, so help me God if I pass a Starbucks.

How big would you like your coffee?

I want it coffee-sized.

I don't want to have to get a bucket from the back.

And who the fuck is the woman on the logo?

I think she's like

a god, isn't she?

Of some sort of fucking god.

I don't know.

She's like for Moby Dick.

Moby Dick?

I don't need a Moby Dick.

The only dick in there is the guy behind the counter.

Yeah, very good.

Very good.

I like it.

Every

Every time it gets to something it gets to a conclusion that I enjoy.

So fair enough.

Right.

Well, what do you usually say at this point, Ed?

I say, keep listening to the podcast.

Check us out on at OffMenuOfficial,

on Twitter and Instagram.

Go on the website.

Just look, Google it.

Yeah, but now I'll tell you what, so we're having

there's a whole, there's a page on our website, whole list of all the restaurants that we've mentioned on the episodes.

And now, because of this intro and outro, we're going to have to put Starbucks on there.

Yeah.

But it is going to have to add Starbucks onto it, and you'll click on it, and it will just go to

the Starbucks website or something like that, and you can look at it and be dismayed.

Just the way that Edwin, the coffee hater, or the coffee lover, I guess.

Coffee comedian.

Coffee Edwin.

Edwin Coffee.

Yeah, that's nice.

Edwin Coffee.

Keep listening.

Like and subscribe.

Don't get me started on Coffee and Nan.

Thank you very much for listening.

Goodbye.

Hello, my name is Rob Orton, and I do the Rob Orton Daily Podcast.

The Rob Orton Daily Podcast is a daily podcast that is quite short, some are two minutes long, some are ten minutes long, and they are stories and poems and basically all the thoughts I've ever had that I like enough to want to share with people.

And the Roboton podcast is available on Apple, ACAST, Spotify, all the other places where you normally get your podcasts, and on social media, it is at Roboton Podcast.

Thank you.

You check your feed and your account.

You check the score and the restaurant reviews.

You check your hair and reflective surfaces and the world around you for recession indicators.

So you check all that, but you don't check to see what your ride options are.

In this economy, next time, check Lyft.

Hello, I'm Carrie Add.

I'm Sarah, and we are the Weirdos Book Club podcast.

We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival.

The date is Thursday, 11th of September, the time is 7pm, and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies.

Tickets from kingsplace.co.uk.

Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September.

At the London Podcast Festival.

The rumours are true, Saturday, the 13th of September at King's Place.

Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet.