Ep 80: David Cross

James, huge news from the world of off-menu and indeed the world of the world.

Yes.

Ever heard of the Royal Albert Hall?

I have.

We've done live shows there.

And guess what?

We're doing more live shows there next year.

Sure, a lot of them are sold out already.

But we thought, hey, throw these guys a bone.

Let's put on one final Royal Albert Hall show in that run.

The show will be on Monday, the 16th of March.

It's going to be a tasting menu, a returning guest coming back, receiving the menu of another previous guest.

Those shows have been a lot of fun.

We cannot wait to do them live.

Who will we pull out of our little magic bag?

You'll have to come along on the 16th of March to find out.

If I'm correct in thinking, presale tickets go on pre-sale on the 10th of September.

Pre-sale tickets are 10th of September at 10 a.m.

And then the general sale is 12th of September at 10 a.m.

So if you miss out on the pre-sale, don't forget general sale is only two days later.

The day in between is for reflecting.

Get your tickets from royalalberthall.com Hall.com or offmenupodcast.co.uk.

It's that time of year again, back-to-school season.

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Suffs, playing the Orpheum Theater, October 22nd through November 9th.

Tickets at BroadwaySF.com.

Don't cut the mold off.

That's the flavor of the podcast.

Welcome to the Off Menu Podcast.

I'm the Mold.

Yeah, James is the mold.

I'm the sweet white flesh below.

Ed Gamble is the sweet white flesh below and James Edcaster is the mold.

Really panicked with that intro.

Welcome to the Off Menu Podcast.

It's a food podcast where we interview a special guest and we specifically ask them, James.

Their favourite ever.

Starter, main course dessert, side dish and drink.

This is an episode, one of the legendary New York episodes.

Everyone's talking about them.

When bands have got like

albums they recorded in NY.

When David Bowie was in Berlin.

In Berlin.

It's very similar to a Berlin Bowie album.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, so this is one of the New York episodes, and the special guest is an American.

The special guest this week is David Cross.

You should know who David Cross is by now.

He is a brilliant comedian, a brilliant actor,

very famous for arrested development, of course.

Yeah, arrested development.

Also, Mr.

Show.

Oh, it's just, I mean, a huge, a huge safety.

And for David Cross's episode, we decided that if he mentions his secret ingredient, he's getting chucked out.

Yeah.

As we do with everyone.

As we do with everybody.

We were very sure about it with David.

And we decided that this week's secret ingredient is Monster Munch.

Monster Munch.

Now, that was very much pushed to the fore by me.

I hate Monster Munch.

Do I like Monster Munch?

Look, this threatens to be another very unpopular opinion a la Yorkshire Puddings.

Yes, but just everyone, make sure that you know

that I'm the one who likes Monster Munch.

So if you are going to tweet abuse and stuff at Ed, make sure you also include...

Let James know he's really cool.

Sorry about that noise, by the way.

I was jangling my balls while James was talking.

Yeah, guess how much he hates Monster Munch.

He was like, it's like, why don't you chow down on these?

Yeah, and then.

And then I jangle my horrible metal balls.

Horrible balls at me.

So I hope you enjoyed David Cross's episode.

And fingers crossed, he doesn't say Monster Munch.

Let's hope not.

This is the off-menu menu of David Cross.

Welcome, David, to the Dream Restaurant.

Thank you.

Welcome, David Cross, to the Dream Restaurant.

Restaurant.

An amuse bouche?

Sure.

Cereal.

No, thank you.

Yeah,

I mean, you're going to keep pushing these amuse bouches on people, and you never come up with a good one.

A bowl of cereal.

A bowl for an amuse bouche?

It should be like a tiny, like, egg cup, right?

A hard-boiled egg cup.

Aren't they tiny?

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

But today, this big bowl of cereal.

A big bowl of cereal?

All right.

Well, then even more reason to.

I've got limited stomach space, and this is my dream meal.

Yeah, that's true.

I also, when I was thinking about this, I was thinking

it really is,

you know,

I don't know if you have this in the UK, but the idea of, you know, if you're going to be executed, a last meal.

Sure.

And so that's kind of what it is.

So

it would be ironic and kind of cool if I

said all this stuff and then as I was exiting the building, died.

Yes.

It's quite nice, isn't it?

Also, though, with that in mind, because people never talk about this when they say about your last meal and you're going to be executed and all this, they never talk about what crime you've done.

It's always like so, you think that food should

reflect the crime.

Oh, reflect the crime.

I wasn't even thinking that, but I don't like that idea.

I just think you have to remember that there's going to be a certain amount of guilt involved.

And, you know, you want to know what flavour of guilt you've got accompanying this meal.

That's all I've been doing.

You think some people would order and just go, I can't, and just push it, take a few bites.

Like, I just feel awful.

Yeah.

I don't deserve this.

What kind.

If you were to be executed,

what do you think most likely would be what you end up getting caught for?

I don't think I would have said this a couple years ago, but treason.

Yeah.

Treason.

Yeah.

High crimes and misdemeanours.

Yeah.

So you're probably actually going to be completely guilt-free.

Yes.

Oh, guilt-free.

Oh, I'll eat.

I'll savor every morsel.

Absolutely.

You know what would be interesting?

A conundrum is if your last meal was yourself, if you were a cannibal, but you ate yourself.

And then they have to keep enough of you alive to kill you.

Yeah.

And that'd be interesting.

Yeah.

So, but are you getting arrested because you ate yourself as well?

No, no, no.

This is your last meal.

You're motivating someone else.

Yeah.

So now I've committed treason against the United States of America.

I've sold secrets to Canada and Mexico.

And

now I'm going to be executed, but my last meal is myself.

But they have to keep enough of me alive to,

let's say, shoot me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So they could legally say that they are the ones that have executed you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Not myself.

Yeah.

Not yourself.

Yeah.

That's not fair.

How much of yourself do you think you could eat before it was no longer there doing

that they execute you?

I think mostly around, as long as you leave the esophagus, and I think we'd go both legs, both arms.

Yeah.

And then now it's getting a little tricky.

If they leave you to it as well, they're not helping you.

They're not helping me.

Oh, my goodness.

So then I'd have one arm.

Let's see if I could.

Oh, yeah, I could.

Yeah.

Depending on.

Yeah.

I mean, for those of you at home or in the

subway, I'm trying to figure out if I could hack my...

arm

off with my just one arm.

It looks like I could do it.

You've got got quite good reach there to the top.

Yeah, you could get the top.

Yeah, and assuming you get like a sushi knife, you know, something nice.

Yeah, okay.

So you do both the arms and legs.

Yeah.

I guess you basically just ears, probably ears, those.

And then it's, then it's pretty tricky.

Yeah.

But that's, that's enough for a meal, isn't it?

That's more than enough.

I'd say, I'd free some, save it for later.

But

you probably only have like X amount of hours.

Yeah, that probably.

Oh, and then your stomach is going to expand because you're eating so much.

So maybe you could dip

the first third of the stomach.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But then so then you're eating stuff you've already eaten as well.

So you're kind of going in for your.

Yeah, I mean,

it's a jambalaya of sorts.

It's leftovers.

It's a cream of leftovers, my mom would say.

Mom, what are we having for dinner?

Cream of leftovers.

You know,

the implication, just putting everything in a pot and putting some broth in it and walking away.

Remember the German guy who advertised for a guy to eat online?

I do.

I,

this is for real.

I wanted to write a very sh like a one-act play about

just that.

You know, the guy, not the advertisement, the guy who came over there.

And then I had just started to research some stuff.

And then I found out somebody actually wrote a one-act play.

I don't know if it's one-act, but really wrote a play about it, which I would love to see.

I really thought you were going to say that you knew him then.

And this is true.

I knew that guy.

This would be something.

Past tense, yeah.

It's one of those news stories that, like, just everyone, no one's ever forgotten about it.

I love it because there's no real victim, you know?

Yeah, yeah.

And,

I mean, in a sense, obviously they're both fucked up psychologically.

One a little bit more than the other.

But

I love that it was just,

hey, I'm putting this out there.

If any, this is what I'd like to do.

If anybody would like to be, you know, if anybody's into this, be on the receiving end of it.

And then somebody answered, like, yeah, I saw my thought of, but I wouldn't mind coming over there and have a little bit of me eating.

And he cooked it up and he ate sausage.

Yeah, just the whole thing.

The guy who responded, forgive me, I don't remember all the details.

Had he always had that fantasy at all?

Did he read the advert and then go, oh, hello?

Yeah, yeah.

I like that idea.

He didn't know that he was into that until, like, yeah.

A little bit of an epiphany.

Yeah, if he'd had the journey to work being like, oh, same old train.

Same old train.

I wish just once somebody would eat me.

So we always start with still or sparkling water, David?

Oh, still.

Yeah.

And tap.

I'll just take it out of the tap.

I don't need anything fancy.

Well,

is that because you prefer tap or because you're like,

not still for me, because you're trying to be

if you want still water if it's if it's shitty tap water then no I'll take the bottle.

But I don't I'm one of those people who thinks and maybe it's just I just don't I can't tell much of a difference.

There are certain waters like I don't like Evian

but I like Vulvika.

You know I've not

crossed this before.

Yeah.

But tap water is

nine out of ten times more than you know,

95% of the time, it's fine.

I'm happy with it.

Why do you not like Evian?

No, Evil Vick.

Could you tell the difference between those two?

Yeah, I think

because Evian has like a

boy,

it's so subjective, but it has like kind of a soft, minerally,

almost like has a texture, like a smoothness that I don't like.

Whereas the other water, most other water, is just sort of refreshing.

Yeah.

And there's not a lot going on there, but it tastes clean.

Okay, so you want some clean.

The main thing is...

Is this tap?

What are we drinking here?

Oh, that's tap there.

But we're also in New York, which has the best tap water I've ever had anywhere.

Really?

Oh, for sure.

That's like a known thing because also the water comes from upstate in the Catskill region.

And, I mean, right out of the tap.

I have a house upstate.

I mean, it's just just the best water you'll ever have.

You don't need to filter it, you know, yeah, it's this is great.

We can get we can get you that water for the dream meal.

We can get you your your own tap water from your house upstate.

That'd be great.

Yeah, we'll get it.

Okay, wait, do I need to give you the code?

Yeah, we need we need,

I know it.

Well, you're a genie

within this scenario.

I know, I know the code.

Okay, yeah, yeah, that'd be great.

Absolutely fine.

Go and scope out what else he's got there as well.

And how are you transporting it?

Oh, just cupped hands?

In my hands?

Cupped my hands and just be.

Well, then, I guess I will take a bottle.

No, I'll have like a nice, really, like a portable, a water cooler on wheels, kind of

really cool,

really pristine.

But also, now I know that

you can tell the difference between different types of water, you know what the best tap water is.

I kind of think that, well, you know, I know you've been to London, don't get to there.

I can't imagine you've enjoyed London tap water.

It's not great, but it's

it doesn't bother me like

the water, tap water in Florida is awful.

Tapwater in

southern Jersey isn't very good.

The tap water in Georgia or Atlanta isn't great.

But London's, I don't know, I'd say it's it sounds like you've got a league table.

And then you've got a full league table.

Yeah.

I was about to just

do a rundown of the top 10 waters.

I'm just telling you from, you know, I travel a lot and have traveled a lot for a long time, and you just remember.

Yeah, would it ever put you off going to a place?

Would you say, I'm not going to Florida, the tap water's awful.

Oh, I'm not going to Florida, but not

just because of the tap water.

Yeah, well, the water's awful, there's horrible things going on.

The water is not good.

Look at how big the mice are.

Yeah, yeah, no, Florida is very good.

Florida's terrible.

Very good, Ed.

Thank you.

Have you been to Florida?

Yes.

Yes.

Where were it?

What part?

I've been to

a few places.

I went to Orlando.

I went to Universal studios

so you've been to orlando been to orlando been to miami yeah there's no way it would have to be like seriously good work but there i'm not going to florida again yeah there's i don't like especially doing shows doing stand-up it's just not worth it at a certain point you're like no thank you i can i don't have to go there

they're just terrible shows yeah just and and like All it takes is five, six, seven, eight, nine people to ruin a show.

Yeah.

and every experience i've had in florida just like fuck this and it's a pain in the ass to get to yeah and like fucking life's too short i got i could do all these other fun shows that are fuck it i'm not going back i think it's because of the tap water yeah they're just so they're so badly hydrated

connection do they drink more booze because they just don't want any water and then they act they act like bad people yeah Oh, you think that's it?

Yeah, they must just be going to BIV.

They're dehydrated.

Yeah.

Oh, man, now I feel bad.

Yeah.

They're avoided all the water.

They're so good.

It's a simple solution the entire time.

If you put a filtration system into Florida tap water, all of a sudden they'd be nicer.

If you took a big vat of your tap water from your house and just sprayed it on the audience before you start the show, they'd lap it all up like dogs and then they'd be the dream audience.

But

if you're spraying it, it's like a mist.

So how do you lap up a mist?

Oh, you could like a hose maybe.

Oh, you'd be more of a hose like

that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that's also good if they misbehave.

Oh, that hose better be connected to the tap correctly because I don't know if how much you'd have to get a lot.

I mean, you'd have to have a hundred-gallon tank

of my tap water.

And then you're losing money as soon as you walk on stage.

Yeah, then you're out of pocket.

Yeah.

And what's the point?

And then probably back to the original thing.

Like, fuck it.

I'm not going to

probably end up heckled anyway.

You go to all that trouble.

Yeah.

And then you just still get.

What do you get heckled the most?

I'd say recently it would be more of like,

fuck fuck you.

Just general, fuck you.

I I did a show.

This was this was pretty amazing.

I did a show on the last tour in

Pittsburgh.

And

I

genuine generally have really good shows in Pittsburgh.

And

I like Pittsburgh.

It's pretty cool.

And I was doing Trump stuff, anti-Trump stuff, whatever.

And the general, like, the show was really fun and the the crowd was really fun, but I either said it or is about to say,

and it's not Trump that bothers me so much as his fans when a guy, a security guy, and he has the Windbreaker jacket with security on it, and he's in front of the stage.

And not that I ever asked for security, but sometimes the theater, maybe just, you know, it's a union thing.

You've got security and they're standing there.

And just in the timing, so I'm doing the stuff, and he goes, fuck you.

He He screams it, and he's right in front of the stage.

It's not like from the back, he screams it, fuck you, I quit.

And he gives me the, he flips me the bird with both fingers, walks up the thing, and

people thought it was a bit.

I mean, everybody thought it was a bit, and it would script it perfectly because I just like, it's not Trump's so that bothers me so much as his fans.

Fuck you!

And then it was just, it was, it was a little bit of gold.

That's incredible.

Yeah pop it up and saw bread pop it up and saw bread David pop a dumb saw bread Papadoms or bread?

Yes.

Yeah.

Papa doms.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's what I'm talking about.

I'll tell you what, can I go off the menu and have something even different?

Yeah.

Yeah, let's do it.

Something that would normally be in that zone.

And I wouldn't have thought about it except you said Papa Dom's, which I would always prefer.

Is there chutney?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Any chutneys you want?

Any channey?

Yeah, yeah, the hot mango, chili lime,

and the onion is good.

But I was thinking of the popovers, or what do you call them in England?

It's like a Yorkshire pudding type.

You know what I'm talking about?

Actually, Yorkshire pudding.

Or not.

It's like a

the dough.

It's kind of eggy and but it's like it looks it's popover, right?

We call them popovers here, but it's like a common thing.

You have them with like a roast.

Yeah, like a Yorkshire pudding.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But Yorkshire pudding, that's right.

Yorkshire pudding.

Yeah, yeah.

Ah, so you've got some Yorkshire puddings.

I would prefer Yorkshire pudding to either Papadom's or Brett.

Love it.

Yeah, absolutely.

You can have that.

You want to allow that?

Yorkshire puddings are a controversial point on this podcast, Dave.

Okay, why?

I don't like Yorkshire puddings, and our listenership have really taken against me because of that.

I get a lot of hits on the internet for saying I don't like Yorkshire puddings because they're a British institution.

Well, I guess I'm removed from the symbolism and sentimentality of it.

So

I just think

you have different taste.

It's probably inferior.

But

I love pop but Yorkshire puddings.

I love them.

Lumlum Lum.

A little bit of butter and some salt.

Oh my gosh.

Sure.

So good.

I think if I called them popovers, I would enjoy them more.

Ah, now I know what you're talking about because it's, yeah, it's not exactly like a Yorkshire pudding, but it's similar.

I had it I because I know exactly when you what you mean okay I got it at the same time I went to Dallas and there was like before I had I went to a steakhouse and they bought these out

the time you'd have bread and they looked like Yorkshire puddings but yeah you'd have like bread and butter on them and they would they were amazing they were great so what what is the difference between a popover and a

you wouldn't put like uh salt or butter on a Yorkshire pudding you just like have it as it is with the roast dinner or something like that and it but it's roughly the same I think I'd say these ones were a bit the ones that I had in Dallas were a bit like a little eggier or a bit crispier almost.

Yeah, crispy on the outside and

whereas Yorkshire pudding can be quite

quite dry.

Yeah, this is why he doesn't like it.

I guess then I'd stick to pop over and not

York.

It's very similar, but

like most things, American, it's slightly superior.

Slightly, just slightly different.

You'd really engage yourself to the British audience there by suggesting you'd have a Yorkshire pudding at this point, and then just you knew that was happening.

Yeah.

snatched that once you figured out once you said,

you know, I'm with you.

Half our listeners just flipped me the double bird and screamed, I quit.

Yeah, they're all working out now.

I'd forgotten about having that.

They were good.

That's a very nice food.

You had the Argentinian version of that,

which has Gruyere cheese.

They're smaller.

Yeah, those are great.

The bread that you bite into the bread roll, and then there's like a pop

of everything we're talking about.

What's it called?

It's...

Oh, it's got a name.

They're great.

That's my favorite one because it's got like Greyer cheese, but it's not,

it's really blended into it.

It's not like

a mozzarella cake or something like that.

Yeah, it's not like that.

It's just, oh, those are the best.

Yeah.

That's what you're having.

That's what you're doing.

Okay, great.

We'll give you the

best.

Whatever the name is,

then look it up.

The Argentinian version of that thing.

Argentinian pop-overs.

Look up that.

Put safe search on.

Yeah.

I can't even begin to think what an Argentinian popover is.

Don't look that up on Urban Dictionary.

Look up Fogo de Chao.

Fogo de Chow.

Fogo de Chow.

Yeah.

And then look up their menu and see if it's on there.

Is it like panda quejo or something like that?

It's like something that literally translates as cheese bread, maybe.

Because I've had it at Fogo de Chow as well.

Is that Brazilian Fogo de Chow?

Oh, yeah, you're right.

So maybe it's Brazilian, yeah.

You're right.

Yeah, it's like Brazilian barbecue place.

It's a square bring you

on all the skewers.

Is this the Brazilian barbecue place that you went to?

In Philadelphia when you...

When you ate all the meat and then you farted all night?

Yes.

Oh, it's crazy.

He tells that story all the time.

I was in Philadelphia for one night and I basically wrote off a hotel room.

It was awful.

I was so happy to check out.

Okay, that's what I want.

The first time I had that bread

blew my mind because I didn't know there was going to be cheese in the middle.

It was the best surprise I've ever had.

I can't believe you've swung me round.

It started off with you ordering Yorkshire puddings and now we're having cheese bread.

Quite the dosy dough.

Your starter then your dream starter.

Okay, I'm gonna go a little heavier than I normally would because there's no other place for this in the menu unfortunately.

So I'm gonna have poutine great which is one of my favorite things and

I'm gonna have it and you guys are in luck.

I'm gonna have this because it's the best poutine I've ever had consistently.

There's a

not a food truck, but what do y'all call them in

where the stands are, where you go to Petticoat Lane?

Yeah, like a food stand on the

food stall.

Market food store, yeah.

Markets hall.

So that kind of, you know, he moves around, but it's called the poutinery.

And

he's, he's in Brick Lane on Sundays.

He's in

Petticoat Lane sometimes.

And where else?

He's a handful of places, but I urge you to seek him out.

Amazing.

And he has a vegetarian version as well.

But it's the best poutine.

It's just consistently the best poutine.

And his name is Paul, I believe.

He's a Canadian who's in.

Oh, so it's authentic stuff.

It's authentic.

Oh, yeah.

He does it right.

He does it.

I have not altered the ticket, but I've considered when I booked my ticket and when I'm coming in and jet lag and all that stuff based on where he's going to be, I've done that a couple times where I'll get there, I'll land, I'll make sure I set my alarm so I don't sleep too much and try to get my schedule back, you know, right, and then go to wherever he's located

and get the poutine.

Yeah, so is it just so poutine for our listeners who may not be well versed in it?

So it's fry, it's fries, yes, cheese curds, yep, and like a gravy.

That's it, yeah, that's it,

and uh, and if you go to uh

parts of Canada, it originated originated in

Quebec, Quebec, and Montreal.

And I've had plenty of poutine there, and it's not as good as

La Belle Provence and the places that they tell you to go, oh, go to this place.

And this guy's consistently got the best.

And you don't add anything else to it, because I know people like to pimp their poutine.

Yeah, you can do that, but I don't.

The only thing I would ever add is

in Montreal, they have, they're kind of famous one of their foods that is specific to Montreal is called Vien Fou Mer.

It's a smoked meat but it's not it's kind of like pastrami like our pastrami but but it's not quite the same thing.

It's a little it's it's it's just a little different.

And they have a couple places that are famous for it, Schwartz's and there's a place across the street.

And I would put sometimes I'd put that on

there's a place here in the city.

I don't know how long you y'all We're here for a bit.

Yeah, we have a few of them.

There's a place on

that's that's quite good called Mile End, which is a section of Montreal

that has really good Montreal food, and they have good poutine and

they have smoked meat and all that kind of stuff.

I've been to Schwartz's in Montreal.

It's great.

It's absolutely incredible.

It's so good.

And I was by myself.

And it's the only time you feel good eating by yourself when you can walk past a queue and be like, hello, I'm lonely.

And they immediately have a seat for you.

You can sit at the bar going, I've got no friends, but I'm enjoying this food.

No, that place is great.

And that's that's, yeah.

So the

smoked meat, I assume you have the smoked meat, yeah.

So some people put that on their poutine.

And like, there's poutineeries with 30, you know, Italian and Jamaican, you know, jerk chicken and all kinds of stuff.

But

I don't fuck with that.

I just get I just get straight poutine, and then if I am going to get something, I put the smoked meat on it.

But if you go to Mile End, yeah, amazing.

And let me know down there.

We're going to go.

Get a recommendation for somewhere in our own city that we didn't know existed.

Yeah.

It's like we came all this way and the magic was inside us all the way.

Very sweet.

I've also got some recommendations at the

borough market that'll

have the cheese sandwich from the...

Oh, from Capucaisin.

Yes.

It's so good.

It's honestly, I was considering that for my dream meal.

Oh, okay.

Because I have waited.

I've gone by myself and I'll just, I'll wait and wait.

That's honestly one of the best.

It's ridiculous how good it is.

I'll just watch them make it as well because it's just so much cheese in the cheese.

I can't close my eyes

until it's in my hand.

It's so ridiculously good.

I don't know what's in the cheese blend.

I guess it's like Gruyere and it's like Swiss cheeses, right?

Well,

there's some longer, more complicated names that I'm not familiar with that is their dairy thing.

There's one like Compte something, something.

Oh,

everything, it's so simple.

A lot like the poutine.

It's simple.

But every element of it is just perfect.

The bread is kind of the perfect type of bread, the perfect thickness with the perfect amount of like, you know, butter crunch to it.

And then the cheese and the little bit of onion, tiny little bit of onion there.

And that's it.

And it's so much cheese as well.

Yeah.

If you were making that yourself at home, you get halfway through and go, I hate myself.

I can't do this to myself.

But if you put it in the hands of a professional, you're like, they know what they're doing.

I'll eat all of this.

Yeah,

I still cry when I eat it.

Yeah, of course.

It's not a good meal if you're not crying.

It's, yeah, that place is amazing.

Yeah, that's insane.

That's such a good place.

That was close for your main course then.

To go back,

Poutine is my starter.

Yes.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Poutine is my starter.

And it's from the Patinery.

From the Patinery.

I would go, if you're in London, look up the Poutineri, go to his Facebook page, whatever, and find out where he is.

Moving around.

Tell him David sing.

Suffs.

The new musical has made Tony award-winning history on Broadway.

We demand to be home.

Winner, best score.

We demand to be seen.

Winner, best book.

It's a theatrical masterpiece that's thrilling, inspiring, dazzlingly entertaining, and unquestionably the most emotionally stirring musical this season.

Suffs, playing the Orpheum Theater, October 22nd through November 9th.

Tickets Tickets at BroadwaySF.com

Your main course?

Okay, my main course is barbecue.

I thought about this a lot and I went back and forth and back and forth, but it's going to be barbecue.

But like a lot of barbecue, I'm going to get the barbecue plate.

This is going to allow me to have sample a bunch of different stuff.

Now, I'm from the south and

we have something called meet and three,

but that's not fair to this idea.

So, I'm not going to, I'm going to, not going to do the meet and three, but we will get the barbecue plate, the sampler, or whatever.

And I'm not going to cheat and get the thing that's for two to four people.

This is for me, it's an individual thing.

But what this allows me to do is instead of getting a half rack or a wrap rack of ribs, it gives me, you know,

let's say three or four.

Yeah, just enough.

And then I can get the pulled pork, make my own sandwich, let's say a quarter rack of baby back,

and maybe some dry rub, a couple dry rub, St.

Louis style, and let's say a homemade sausage.

Let's say it's a jalapeno cheddar sausage, homemade.

It's a smoked particular place?

Is that a particular place you'd always go to?

I mean, if I could, if I could shoot the best barbecue I've had,

I know this is no secret, certainly at this point, but Franklin's in Austin is

one of the very few places

the cheese place in

Borough Market is another place where I will wait 20 minutes.

Very rarely will I wait in line.

The queues are huge at Franklin though.

There's a lot of people.

And you got to go early.

It's not normal.

I don't feel like having

a stomach full of brisket at like 10 in the morning.

You got to get up, have some coffee, and get in line.

But it's worth it.

It's absolutely worth it.

And it's, I've had lots of good barbecue.

Here, I got, wait, where's my, this is my very, very first tattoo.

It's a barbecue.

It's a pig.

It's a pig serving himself to you.

But if you notice.

Because he's just been sentenced for treason.

Yeah, yeah.

There's

a nice way to bring it around.

But

he's also got a

kosher

stamped onto him.

So he's a kosher pig.

Yeah, he doesn't exist, but in this world, it does.

Who's serving you his own barbecue?

For sure.

Yeah.

Straight from a.

Yeah.

Good on him.

Was that available as flash on a wall, or is that something from your own mind?

Yes.

That's something from my own mind.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Who tattooed that on you, and what did their face do when you said what you wanted?

Well, it was an old friend in Atlanta who

is a great tattoo artist that I haven't seen in decades now, but his name is Shane.

And

he's, you know, head-to-toe tattoo guy.

You could have got it done in the queue for Franklin's.

Yeah, probably wouldn't enough time.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Completely healed by the time you get your food.

That's something I don't think we've done properly in the UK yet.

Barbecue.

No.

No, I've been to,

you know, as soon as Bodines opened up, I went there.

I was like, oh, boy, and you can watch baseball.

It's like one of the very, very few places.

I mean, this is going back a ways, but

I was like, oh, I can watch a baseball game at midnight, you know, go and have have some barbecue.

And they're they're the one thing that they do that's okay is the burnt ends.

That's the only thing I love.

Yeah, it's it's really it's hit or miss, but um

everything else I've had there has not been that great.

Yeah.

Not terrible.

I've had worse in the States, but not.

I mean, it's nothing I would ever say to somebody like, oh, dude, you gotta go to Bodine.

But here's the thing, I'm not a I uh Texas barbecue is is not in my top three barbecues.

I prefer North Carolina style, which is a completely different meat.

So, what are the differences between them?

Well, Texas is beef,

and Kansas City is kind of a mix.

St.

Louis is famous for St.

Louis ribs, but

and then there's like Kansas City has kind of the sweeter sauces, and then there's Memphis, which is kind of famous for dry rub.

And North Carolina is, once you get to the east coast, it's more pork.

Georgia doesn't really have its own kind of, it kind of takes from North Carolina.

But Georgia has what's distinctive to Georgia is something called Brunswick Stew.

That is a Georgia thing.

And then South Carolina is

a mustard-based

sauce.

And,

you know, it varies.

Tennessee, each region has its own thing.

And I, for my taste, it's North Carolina style, which is more vinegar, you know, spicy vinegar.

Do you ever do your own barbecue?

I do, but I'm not that good at it.

There's other things I can make that I'm successful at.

And I have one of those big green eggs, the ceramic convection type thing.

And it's very hit or miss.

And I have notebooks.

I do.

I have notebooks, and I've altered my stuff.

And sometimes it works, and sometimes it just isn't that good.

And it's overcooked or it's oversmoked.

And

go online and look at tutorials and I'll read, you know, I'm having trouble with this.

I'm like, me too.

What do I do?

I'll scroll down.

And

I would say my success ratio, and I'm going back,

you know, 15 years, is no better than 50%.

Sometimes it's really good.

And sometimes I just like, I don't know what I did wrong.

I don't.

I did the thing that they told me to do.

You seem very sad about this.

Yeah, yeah.

It's really getting you down.

I like it.

In Post, we put some emotional music into that whole speech David just did about the...

Can I recommend a Daggio for strings?

And it has to come in, as he says, green ceramic egg, it has to spade in then, and then it's the mess of that.

But I'll tell you what, no matter the turnout, because it's never been terrible, it's never been inedible,

but just sometimes you're like, oh, that's great.

And then sometimes it's like, oh, that's just mediocre, you know.

And it takes so long, right, to get it.

It takes a long time, but really it's about kind of the beginning of it and then the very end.

But you don't really have to do much.

That's the theory with the green egg

or the idea of it.

But sometimes I can't get the internal temperature to get to where I need it to be and it takes too long.

And then the, I just, there's, there's definitely,

for something that looks like it could be relatively easy, it's very difficult.

difficult, and it makes

going to a place like Franklin's even more like, God, this is perfect.

Do you think Franklin's ever

opened up the big thing that they put the meat in?

Do you think he's ever opened it?

The big smoker.

Yeah, the big smoker.

Do you think he's ever opened that up and not turned it on and just got inside and closed it and just spent the night sleeping in there

and dreaming about barbecue and how much he loves barbecue?

Absolutely not.

You sure?

Have you met Franklin?

I'm not sure.

I have met him.

Yeah.

So he doesn't seem like the kind of guy who'd do that.

No.

He does, but

I think he has handlers that make sure he does it.

Yeah, it doesn't climb in and

pretend he's in his big coffin.

And have a little sleep in there.

But people are so passionate about Barbie who love it and who make it their life like he has.

I think he would want to know what it's like in such a way.

It's so beyond good.

It really is.

It's a destination thing.

It really made me regret.

We're obsessed with that TV show as well.

Yeah.

Which one?

The Pit Masters.

Pit Masters.

It's like a competition cooking show.

Are you in the States?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I haven't seen it.

Everyone's a real character in this guy.

There's a guy who's really famous for his ribs.

Yeah.

And he wraps his ribs, and everyone else disagrees with him, but he always wins the competition.

What kind of ribs?

Is it pork or beef?

Pork.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And is he doing

baby backs or St.

Louis or what?

I think they're baby backs.

Yeah, yeah.

But that's my favourite.

So far, you're in this guy's corner completely.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, I'm there.

I just really like it as well because it's like a proper, they treat it like a sport, but none of them look like they could do any sports.

They're all

I've I've watched dart tournaments over

that thing.

I wish there was the equivalent of that here.

Just some goofy, dumb thing that requires very little physical effort.

We can just get hammered.

And then

you have these fan bases that are also equally, you know, pretty much match the...

Like a lot of people who watch American football don't look like football players.

A lot of people who watch American basketball don't look like basketball players.

But the Darts fans look like the Darts players.

They're all like.

There was a very famous Darts player called Andy Fordham who was like world champion.

And he was known as the Viking.

Like huge guy, like 30 stone, like massive guy, a mullet.

Is this the guy who drank the...

There's some famous story of a guy who drank, whatever it was, 19 pints.

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's it.

I think that's him.

That's him, but I just remember a bit of commentary where they were talking about how he was trying to get healthy

because it was affecting his game now.

He was so fat that it was affecting his darts,

which is almost impossible.

Because it was really about the magnetic pull that he had.

The darts were coming back.

And they said his training regime was he'd start by getting in and out of his chair a few times.

That's where he was starting from.

And they said he cut down.

He's degraded so far.

That's the exercise regime

we'd all want.

Okay, I'm going to recommend some exercise for you.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

I'm going to need you to go from the couch to the chair at least four times a day.

And you're going to lift this remote with your right hand.

And you're going to lift this pint with your left hand.

Sound good?

All right.

But you'd like something like that over here.

Oh, I'd love that.

I'd love to, like,

I really got, I wouldn't say obsessed, but I was very happy when Bullseye came on.

And I would watch Bullseye, and I'd go.

And

there's a thing about some British television where you truly can't tell.

Like, was this made four years ago?

24 years ago?

So your side dish, Tabby?

Side dish, I'm staying in the same

family here of barbecue.

And

I'm going to go with collard greens,

which I love, but that's another thing that is very, it can be very different.

And sometimes there's like a sweeter collard, and

I'm again of the vinegar, little bit of, I put a little bit of hot sauce in there.

And then it's just got to be a vinegar base with some of the meat, you know, uh, in there, and then just I love collard greens, love them.

So I thought, because uh in the UK it's just not a thing, yeah.

So, like, for uh, what how would you describe it to people who don't know what it is?

It's really boil, it's ex excessively boiled.

There, it's um, it'd be, you know, a collard green.

There's collards, you know, there's a um, I think it probably came over from Africa, I'm assuming.

And uh, it's uh

it

it's a very like if if you don't boil it, it's a it's really rough, sinewy,

tough leaf, big, green, kind of thicker, dark green leaf.

But when you boil it, and you have to really boil it down, they get very soft.

The stems, you know, are pretty thick.

And then

it's kind of about the texture married to the flavor.

And the flavor is usually the way I like it is a kind of a strong,

kind of unctuous barbecue, either pork or beef.

No, not beef, pork.

And,

you know, the pork fat that, you know, melts as you go along and then kind of infuses everything.

And again, I like a little hot sauce, vinegar.

There's little

tiny, teeny bits of pork meat in there, a little, little.

And it just gets really soft.

And then the remaining, the liquid is called liquor.

It's pot liquor.

And it's so good you can just drink it straight.

Shot that right down.

Yeah, just shoot it.

Yeah.

And you play beer pong with it.

Yeah.

I mean, that's, it's one of those things that I eat embarrassingly fast.

I have to slow myself down because I just, you get a cup, a bowl, a bowl of good collard greens.

And I'll just, oh, they're so good.

Oh, I'd love them.

Remember being in, I went to Nashville, and my friend who's a vegetarian said, I'm vegetarian.

Could you, whatever vegetarian stuff you have, please bring it.

And they brought a bowl of collard greens with huge lumps of ham in it.

It's like, this isn't vegetarian.

Like, yeah, it's vegetables.

Like, yeah, but there's big bits of ham in it.

They baffled.

Baffled at the idea that someone wouldn't want

big chunks of meat.

My mum's a vegetarian and had a similar thing recently at a food market and ordered the vegetarian ramen and they sent it over loads of meat in it and she bought it back.

She had to go back to the counter.

And before she'd even said anything, they went, oh, yeah, because it's not vegetarian, right?

Because they kind of like knew.

Yeah, this happened a moment.

Yeah, you caught us out again.

Well done.

I'm surprised that still happens in this day and age.

People have an idea.

I mean, maybe 30 years ago,

but at this point.

He's worried about how they're going to coke when a vegan walks in.

It's going to blow their mind.

Well, they shouldn't walk in.

They shouldn't.

They should stay out.

Vegans stay out.

So your drink, your dream drink to go with your meal.

Which we ask at this point, but you can have it at any point in the meeting.

If you want to go back in time and have it at the start and just keep topping up your glass.

Here's the thing.

Normally, I would have a nice glass of red wine, something on the heavier side.

I prefer like a Cabernet or a Zinfandel.

But with barbecue, I'm not really going to have wine.

Most of the meals I'll have a glass of red wine.

But sometimes there are certain meals that wine just doesn't go with.

And for barbecue, it would be beer

and poutine as well.

Now, I don't know if this is part of the thing, but I, in this scenario of the dream dinner, I've already had like four pints

before you're on the restaurant.

Before I arrived at the restaurant.

So, thanks for being honest with us.

Yeah.

I'll tell you my favorite, and this isn't to sound patronizing at all, but my favorite, I have a lot of favorite beers, but my favorite Cascale is tribute, Cornish.

Yeah, you know it.

And it's, it's, that's one of the perfect

it's just a perfect pint.

Um

but that doesn't really go with barbecue.

Barbecue, you want a little less I don't need all the hops and the flavor.

I want more of a a Pilsner, uh kind of a lighter beer.

So I'm just gonna go with and I'm also not I don't have like a

uh sophisticated palate when it comes to beer.

And a lot of beer I just like you know, you go to these places that, you know, um famous brewmaster and they brew their own, you know, and it's all a small batch, whatever.

The place with loads of taps as well.

Yeah, yeah.

And I appreciate the idea of it, but I look at the menus and

they describe their beer like, you know, notes of leather and tannin, you know, whatever.

And I don't know what the fuck that means.

And I, and I will be a reverse snob in a sense of like, just give me paps, just give me a PBR.

Yeah.

So with the barbecue, I think outside of the setting and this meal, it would be my, you know,

seventh choice.

But for this meal, I'm just going to have

an ice-cold PBR.

Yeah, and you can knock them back.

Yeah, yeah.

And have loads of them.

Yeah.

And they slip down very nicely.

And they're cold.

And

they're really nice and cold.

Yeah.

So cold you almost can't taste them, right?

I wouldn't go that far.

You don't want a warm one.

If you're oh, no, no, no.

You don't want a warm one.

Yeah, it has to be.

No, no, no, no.

Super cold.

No.

The warm ones are so remind me of like,

because I grew up in Georgia.

It's hot,

you know, six, seven months out of the year.

Well, now, with climate change, nine months out of the year, hot.

You know, we'd go tubing, you go down the river, and you bring your, you bring your beer and you kind of float it behind you in the river or you put it in a cooler or whatever.

And then,

but by the time you're, because you're just sitting in the sun and

three-quarters of the way through, that beer is, it's not cold.

It's not even room temp.

It's, I mean, it's literally 79 degrees it's soup and yeah it is that kind of soup and it but you've had so much to drink out in the sun you haven't really eaten uh that it's fine you can smell it it's a little skunky but you don't care you're you're on your seventh beer you know pbr is one of those things where like growing up in england and watching loads of american television american films and certain things just like uh penetrate your and you just go in and like i want to have that yeah because that is represents america to me in some way and I remember having a PBR for the first time and being so excited

it must have been disappointing though it's not over

the thing is it's like I don't think it was because it wasn't like I was excited because this was going to be delicious it was like it's just gonna I'm gonna be drinking a PBR

like in that but yeah I've heard that

hot out or cold out was it was just no it was pretty normal I was in a bar I think it may have even not even been in America.

It was like a...

That's what it was.

It was in King's Cross in London.

But But then they sold it there.

And I was like, oh man, and I got really excited about it.

I remember the first time I had it.

I had it at All-Star Lanes, which is like a fun bowling alley.

I had a can of PBR.

I was like, I'm pretty American right now.

Yeah.

Bowling and PBR.

Yeah, absolutely loving it.

Because you like a lot of, you know, we've already heard from the menu, you like a lot of English stuff, but you actually,

you know, go out of your way to find the best stuff and know what it is and you like it.

Whereas we would just have the most, we'd just have whatever Americans have already disregarded as like, that's just like the standard We don't give a shit about that right And we would have that as like this is our dream meal

But would you have you can we'll let you have you have four points of tribute before you get to the dream restaurant and then move on

I'll tell you what.

I'm gonna I'm gonna

throw this in the mix.

Let's say it's summer and I could have any beer I wanted and PBR is is functional It works But the beer I have when I'm in London and it's hot out is you know the John Smith not is it John Smith?

Yeah, right the cold ones.

You know the cold things.

Yeah, yeah.

That cold is really good.

That's a really good beer to have that runs through its little ice cold thing.

So that would work with the barbecue.

Okay.

Yeah.

Cool.

Well, we'll just lay on a full, a full sort of fridge for you if you want.

Yeah,

I greatly appreciate it.

Lovely beer fridge.

Four plants of tribute before you get to the restaurant.

Yeah.

But that's in, that's either like right in the little outdoor area garden or I'm inside.

Yeah.

And that's a leisurely, those are, I'm not slamming them.

It's not binge drinking.

I'm just

having, you know, good conversation,

enjoying that pint, and then, you know, knowing my dream meal awaits me.

And then when I finish up, I'm going to be put to death.

Yeah.

But what we'll do is we'll take those four pints and we'll space them evenly between your home and the restaurant so that you kind of follow them.

You know, you know, in cartoons where they're like, oh, and then they kind of eat it.

And then they look, oh, yeah.

Like we're luring it.

Like we're luring you to.

Yeah, sure shit.

I like that.

So you arrive at your dessert,

which is always my favourite course, the dessert.

Ed's the starter boy.

Yeah, I love starter.

I don't know how you feel about desserts.

I am not, I don't have a sweet tooth.

I thought not.

We offered to do that cake truffle earlier, and you were like, no, I was like, I don't know how we just did that.

I don't like chocolate.

You don't like chocolate?

I do not like chocolate.

I don't hate it, but

I rarely have it, and it kind of ruins everything it touches.

Like, the idea of people putting putting chocolate on

nuts and fruit and all that kind of stuff is like, no, thank you.

But

I know that I get the sense that you want to move on from what you just said.

You've got to remember that what you've just said is

that you've got to my people.

I yeah, I don't.

I it's something that my wife and I when we met each other kind of bonded over because she's not a big sweets dessert chocolate person either.

Yeah, I've never really cared for it.

Well, I mean, but you know, like raisins and nuts and stuff are fine, but you think

I'm a sweet, savory guy.

So, okay, okay, I can work with that.

When

that's good to know,

it's gonna win.

When it comes to dessert, almost every single time, uh, either I don't have dessert or we'll get the uh cheese plate.

Yes, cheese.

I'm a cheese man.

Oh,

fuck you.

The moment I met you, David Cruz, I knew you were one of my people.

This is incredible.

Fuck you, David Cross.

I quit.

So

is that what you're selecting, David?

Are you selecting the cheese plate for your dream meal?

No.

Yes!

I'm not going to select.

God bless America.

I'm going to say, you know what?

I've got...

I'm just going to use logic here.

Yeah.

I have enough room for dessert.

I don't need a whole lot of dessert.

And dessert's usually, you know, slice of pie or whatever.

But I do have some room for dessert.

And rather than the cheese plate,

because then I'd have to switch to wine.

Yeah.

And I've had too much beer at this point.

I mean, we're in, I mean, we're at like seven pints at this point.

And so I don't want to switch to wine.

So forget the cheese.

So I'm going to have some more poutine.

Yes, this is great.

Oh, I thought I was saying, I thought, oh, it's okay.

For a minute, there,

for a minute, there, I felt like when at the Oscars, when they said La La Land won,

and I was like, no, it's like, yeah.

But now it's like they went, La La Land one.

Oh, no, sorry, we made a mistake.

La La Land one.

What was great about that is the look of glee on David's face when he said that.

A, because he knew it was going to upset James, and B, because just the idea of just, oh, more poutine, please.

Book ended it with poutine.

That's a wonderful choice.

You know, it comes full circle.

Yeah.

Exactly.

I have to say, though, I prefer that to a cheese board.

You respect that choice.

I respect that choice a lot more than a cheese board because, like, it, I like the fact that you're just going, I'm going to just do the.

I've got a little space left.

Sure.

Why?

I'm not going to fill it up with anything I don't.

Again, if I hadn't had all that beer, I would have the cheese plate and I'd be happy with it.

But

there's no way you win this, James.

It's either a cheese plate or more peculiar.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Either way, I'm not.

You're asking me to.

I'm sorry.

Hang on one second.

Yes, what's that?

Wait, you have a s-

You have one slice of pecan pie?

All right, I guess I'll have a slice of pecan pie.

Oh,

that'd be nice.

That'd be nice.

We can put cheese curds and gravy on it if you like.

No compromise.

Oh, well, what a roller coaster.

Oh, yeah, that was a real roller coaster.

I'm going to read your order back to you, see how you feel about

You would like tap water from your own home?

Yep, sure.

You would like,

sorry for butchering this word, powder

cuisine.

Little cheese breads.

Yeah,

little cheese breads rather than powder cojo.

Yeah, Brazilian pop-ups.

Yeah.

Or whatever it was.

Starter, poutine from the poutinery.

Main course, a barbecue plate, side of collared greens.

You drink, you would like PBR, but you'll have four pints of John Smith's.

Oh, no, PBR slash John Smith's during the meal, but four pints

of of tribute on the way to the restaurant and dessert

a very confusing thing to look at

more poutine

slash pecan pie

that sounds fucking awesome yeah

that is awesome that is a beautiful menu now I got and then I'm I'm wherever we're having this meal there needs to be a cot somewhere

where I can just lay sleep it off lay down immediately yeah you can do that

that.

We can open up one of those smokers at Franklin's.

There we go.

Crawl in there, have a little sleep.

Smell good.

Then you get the bonus of scaring Franklin in the morning.

Yeah.

And maybe eating myself if

you're to perfection.

Your entire dream comes true.

You'll be eating yourself and Franklin will be scared.

Yeah.

And you've enjoyed your last meal, of course.

Yeah.

That's

the end of the meal and the end of your life, David.

Rest in peace, David Croft.

Well, there we are.

Angry boy, aren't you?

Oh,

he

reeled you in.

I thought, oh no, he's choosing a cheese board.

Oh no, it's okay, I'm safe.

Oh no, he's chosen something even more ridiculous.

Now, that was a genuine moment of excitement and connection for me because, you know, I've admired David Cross's work for a long time.

And to know that, you know, we're on the same page when it comes to desserts is it's quite an exciting moment for a young lad.

I still can't map my mind around it when people are like, My favourite dessert, they can't even, they don't like any dessert.

Well, look, any dessert.

The only thing I didn't respect about him there is that he buckled and picked a slice of pecan pie to make you feel better.

Actually, yeah, I forgot he did that.

That was really nice and nice.

It was pathetic that you backed him into a corner with your whining.

Yes.

And he had to pick a piece of pecan pie just so he could get out of the building alive.

That's how I live my life.

You were blocking my...

Did my friendships function like that?

He looked scared.

Yep.

But the little look on his face when he said more poutine, it was was like watching a five-year-old he was very happy he was very

happy and i was very happy that he didn't at any point say monster munch yes i mean it was looking like that i mean some of the listeners might have thought at the start he's not gonna say monster munch this is in new york he's an american man but then throughout there was a lot a lot of rough anglo-centric choices there it could have been monster munch yeah it could have been monster munch but it was not thank you so much david cross for coming in uh if you like david cross obviously there's the things like arrested development mr show also go on Netflix and check out With Bob and David, which is the sketch show he did with Bob Odenkirk.

It's excellent.

He's got lots of amazing stand-up comedy albums.

My personal favourite is called Shut Up, You Fucking Baby.

Yep, and there's a stand-up special on Netflix called Making America Great Again.

Lovely stuff.

So go and check out all of that.

And if you enjoy us, absolutely go on to at OffMenuOfficial on Twitter and Instagram and on the website, which is offmenupodcast.co.uk.

And also, there's a tab on there which just says restaurants, which is a list of all the recommended restaurants which will be updated for these American episodes.

Go and check it out.

You can click on the names, it will take you to a link.

You never need to tweet Benito and ask him.

Thank you very much for coming on the show, David.

Thank you to you, James, for another wonderful experience.

You are a great friend and a great man.

Thank you, you, Ed.

Anyway, bye.

Bye.

Hello, there, listeners.

Can we recommend you a new podcast?

It's been going for three years, but it'll be new if you listen to it now.

My name's Stevie.

My name's Dessa.

And we host the Nobody Panic podcast, which is all about how to be a functioning adult without consistently screaming and/or crying all the time.

Although crying is okay, crying is good.

Listen to our episode on how to cry at work.

It's all kinds of different how-tos from how to be creative to how to concentrate to how to be good at small talk.

Thank you, Stevie.

We bring our experience, which is sort of minor, and then we get experts in to really give the advice.

We release podcasts every Tuesday.

It's on Apple Podcasts, ACAS, Spotify, basically wherever you get your podcasts.

We're there.

We're there.

We're ready to impart not our advice necessarily, but the advice of others to help you get through your day and your life.

life.

Are we selling it yet?

I'd like to say that we're much better in the podcast than we are on this advert.

Please do come over and check what we're like on the real thing.

Oh, yeah.

You'll be pleasantly surprised.

Hello, I'm Carrie Add.

I'm Sarah.

And we are the Weirdos Book Club podcast.

We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival.

The date is Thursday, 11th of September.

The time is 7pm.

And our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies.

Tickets from kingsplace.co.uk.

Single ladies is coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September.

At the London Podcast Festival.

The rumours are true.

Saturday, the 13th of September.

At King's Place.

Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet.