Ep 61: Reggie Watts

James, huge news from the world of off-menu and indeed the world of the world.

Yes.

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We've done live shows there.

And guess what?

We're doing more live shows there next year.

Sure, a lot of them are sold out already.

But we thought, hey, throw these guys a bone.

Let's put on one final Royal Albert Hall show in that run.

The show will be on Monday, the 16th of March.

It's going to be a tasting menu, a returning guest coming back, receiving the menu of another previous guest.

Those shows have been a lot of fun.

We cannot wait to do them live.

Who will we pull out of our little magic bag?

You'll have to come along on the 16th of March to find out.

If I'm correct in thinking, presale tickets go on pre-sale on the 10th of September.

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And the secret is you add just a little dash of milk to make this the creamiest podcast on the internet.

Welcome to the Off-Menu Podcast.

It's so creamy.

It is so creamy.

That's James Acaster over there.

This is the voice of Ed Gamble.

We're a couple of rum lads who like asking people what their favourite meals are, James.

That's true.

We're going to ask them their favourite ever starter main course dessert, side dish, and drink.

Yes, we always get a special guest on here to ask them those things.

And today, the special guest is Reggie Watts.

Reggie Watts, brilliant comedian, musician.

He's on The Late Late Show with James Corden and many other things besides.

I've been following Reggie's work for a long time now, James.

Excellent, Excellent, improvisational, musical comedian.

I think I saw

Reggie's show at the Edinburgh Festival in 2005, would you believe?

Wow, I wasn't even born then.

So, if Reggie says a secret ingredient, of course, he will be removed from the restaurant, despite being very good.

Yeah, that is true.

And this week, the secret ingredient is Rye Vita.

Rye Vita, those horrible, dry, crumbly biscuit wafer things.

I mean, awful.

Every time I eat one, which is rare, I think I'm basically eating a drinks coaster.

Because it's so rare, do you call it a rare vita?

No.

No.

So, if Reggie says Ry Vita, he will be kicked out of the restaurant.

Let's hope he doesn't do that.

So, we are off to Reggie Watts' home studio in LA to record this episode with him.

We're in LA.

Hi, baby.

Fair few episodes that will be distributed throughout the series.

So many famous people walking around.

Yeah.

Sunset Boulevard.

The Hollywood sign.

We've not been out much.

So this is the off-menu menu of Reggie Watts.

Welcome, Reggie Watts, to the Dream Restaurant.

Oh, well, thank you.

Whoa, it's so dreamy and creamy.

Welcome, Reggie Watts, the Dream Restaurant.

I've been expecting you for some time.

What is that you're drinking?

I'm drinking.

This is a special concoction

made by a human, and it's pineapple spirulina kale smoothie.

That is LA in a bottle.

It is.

It is really LA in a brothel.

Do you know what each element of the green juice is doing for you?

Do you know what the spirulina is doing for you right now?

Well, the spirulina is technically just giving me a huge mineral blast.

Right.

And I'm really getting blasted by some minerals right now.

The kale is giving me,

oh, you know, whatever kale does.

I think it just makes you feel good about the fact that kale's in there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's mainly what kale does.

And then pineapple, as we all know, I mean, people in Australia, even in New Zealand, have heard of pineapple.

And

it's one of the few fruits that people in New Zealand or Australia have heard of.

Yeah, I know it.

They know it.

They know it very well.

They'll feel it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.

So that's it.

Will, do you think halfway through the episode we might really hear the Spirulina start to blast?

I think we might hear hear some

Spirulina blasts.

Yeah, okay, because it's amazing at blasting.

It sounds like

a metal drum kind of

beat, a Spirulina blast.

Yeah, like for sure.

Yeah, like a sort of harder blast beat.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, blast beats.

It's part of the blast beat movement.

It started in,

I think it was like either like Mullen Bemby, I think it started in Mullen Bemby.

There was like some hippie on a hillside and like a tank got loose and started rolling down the hill and the sound of the tank and then they were like, what if I made a track?

Anyways.

So this is the dream restaurant where we can get you any meal, any dish from anywhere that you would like.

James is a genie waiter.

He's very much in charge of getting the have you met a genie before?

I have not.

Really?

No, I mean, now I have.

You're the only person we've had on those podcasts, which I think that's a lie.

Okay, well,

I think surely you've met a genie before you get it.

You'd think, you know, you'd think, I get the question.

Well, no, I've never gotten it.

But I've thought it many times, and I've always been surprised that the answer is no.

I haven't met a genie.

Although maybe I have and they just haven't said that they were genie.

Well, yeah, yeah.

Is there anyone in L.A.

who you've met during your time here who you've gotten?

They might be a genie, actually.

I'm pretty sure they could be a genie.

Damn.

Oh, you know what?

I think Sarah Silverman.

Yeah, yeah.

Sarah Silverman feels like a genie.

She feels like she has a, it's like when you meet her, you feel like she's got an ace up her sleeve.

Like there's something that she knows that you don't know that she's always got a slight smirk about.

She's like,

You're like, What are you laughing at?

Nothing.

But what she's laughing at is that she could be offering you wishes, but she's chosen not to.

Exactly.

Oh, Sarah.

Oh,

so frustrating.

Are you into food?

Are you a big food guy?

You know, I do like food.

I also have a struggle with food.

I love food, but I want to choose good food.

But on occasion, I also want to feel like, you know, I'm just going to treat myself and have a good meal.

So, yeah, food's a mixed relationship for me.

Yeah, I can sense there's some complexities there.

I think there's a number of things you wanted to say there you didn't say.

No, yeah, there are probably many things you wanted to say.

We were just like, wait a minute, let's keep it entertaining, guys.

You're like, consciousness?

No.

So, we always start with still or sparkling water in the dream restaurant.

We always give you the choice like they do everywhere.

Mmm.

God, that's really tough.

I think I'm going to do still.

Yeah.

Yeah, still.

I used to be.

What was the tussle there?

What was going on in your head there?

Because

I think in the past I used to pick sparkling because it feels like, oh, it's extra.

You know, like, you know, I'm here at a restaurant, so I might as well choose the fancy option, which is, you know, the diamond water.

But then I started getting into the plain water because it's like you know, if it doesn't taste good without bubbles, you know, is it good water?

If you're not enough whip with what's it, if you're not enough whip with it, no, what?

If you're not enough

if you're not enough if you're not enough with it, if you're not enough without it,

you'll never be enough with it.

Oh, that case, yeah, that is good.

I love that.

Yo, you said that?

Yeah, that's that's it.

You just John Candy and Cool Runnings, right?

No,

what?

It's what he tells.

R.I.P.

Did he need as many takes as you?

No.

I mean, he nailed it.

He nailed it.

He knew how to pronounce with.

Famously, if you want someone to say with, you got candy.

They call him the with it guy.

With under any circumstance.

How drunk he is, upside down.

I thought he told the main captain of the bobsled team about the medals.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

He said, you know, winning gold medals are great.

Yeah.

But if you're not enough, oh, God,

Just splice it in when you said it right.

Yeah, yeah.

Take a take from earlier.

I love that very much.

I think that's great.

That's an incredibly wise piece of advice.

So maybe that's what you think about the water.

That is kind of, I mean, yes, inadvertently, I think that that's actually true.

It's like, hey, you know, it's like when I go to a Mexican restaurant, people are like,

hey.

Someone will say that at some point.

If you're in a Mexican restaurant and you're like, really keep your ears open at some point when there's going to be be someone in there that's going to say, hey.

But aside from that, I'll always order the beans.

So if the beans and the rice

and the salsa, if the beans, the rice, and the salsa aren't good to some degree, then probably the rest of it's not going to be that good.

Would you leave a Mexican restaurant if they brought the beans and it wasn't good?

You'd be like, this doesn't bode well.

I'm off.

I mean, if it was, I mean, they'd have to be some pretty terrible.

I mean, it'd have to be like beans that are off.

I think I would leave then, but you know, it is, it's food, and uh,

I'll eat it.

But basically, if they can't know the basics, you got damn got high hopes for the more complex stuff, yeah, exactly.

It's it's like you go to any cultural uh food place, and you know, if you go to a French restaurant and the baguettes suck, you're like, well, what's the price?

It's going to be terrible, it's going to be terrible.

Yeah, with that in mind, if a podcast host can't say the word with,

how optimistic does that make you for the rest of the podcast?

Well, you know,

I stress more emphasis.

I put more emphasis on being able to pronounce the word the.

So, you know, to me, like with is like, that's an easy one because some people say wid or wit, you know, it's just more, you know, but the, you kind of have to just say the.

Yeah, yeah.

And so far, all your thes have been

lamentable.

The most worrying thing for a podcast would be if they say podcast wrong.

If they're like, hello, welcome to my broadcast.

Yeah, you're like, no, this is going to be so bad.

Unless that's the title of the podcast.

Yeah, that's the only exception.

I agree.

I agree.

Like, hey, here's my grab fresh.

You're like,

I gotta go.

Thanks, though.

You screwed up the beans.

Totally, these beans suck.

Like, I don't get the reference.

You will.

If you're a good podcaster, you're getting the reference.

Totally, totally.

Another strike.

Pop-a-doms or bread.

Pop-a-doms or bread, Reggie.

Pop-a-doms or bread.

Ah, Brad, because pop-a-doms Doms stick to the roof of my mouth.

I don't get them.

I don't get them at all.

I don't get them.

I don't get them.

Like, I have them, and I'm like, this seems like a good idea.

Like, I bite into it.

It's thin.

It's like, you know, like, it's like the sh the shedded skin of a dragon.

You know,

it's like, oh, here's a skin flake from a dragon.

You, like, start to eat it, and you're like, oh, it has a nice flavor to it.

And then

the next thing is like, oh, I can't get it off the roof of my mouth.

Why can't I get it off the roof of my mouth?

And it's like, oh, it's in between my teeth.

I can't get it.

So I don't understand it.

So is every pop-adom you've ever had just now embedded on top of your mouth?

Is that part of your skin now?

It is, it gets absorbed, and then I mean, I have a much tougher palate, which is cool, but um, but I could have done without it.

How much, if you if you got all the popadoms you've ever eaten off of the roof of your mouth, how much of a dragon do you think you could cover with it?

We're talking about uh square footage of dragon coverage, depending on the dragon, of course, um, and the age of the dragon.

I'd say in general, you'd be looking at like maybe one three thousandth of a percent oh yeah yeah so just a little like uh yeah because it's really thin yeah dragons i mean as we all know big have really thick thick skin yeah yeah yeah emotionally as well yeah emotionally yeah

you can say all kinds of things to a dragon and they're just like yeah what's so what's your point yeah oh dude dragons dragons search their own names on twitter and they don't care yeah

they don't care who says anything about them no they have no idea they just they they go on there just to make sure that they're indifferent yeah yeah the last Game of Thrones season nearly got to them, but they're all right now.

Yeah, they're like, that's not what we do.

Wait a minute.

I'm not supposed to have an opinion.

I mean, talk about what kind of bread that you like.

Oh, because you said bread.

That's right.

But what kind of bread would you like?

What's your dream bread?

My dreamy bread, I guess, would be gluten-free.

Just because I feel I feel like it's a healthier choice, even though it probably isn't.

No, okay, okay.

I'm going to change it.

I'm going to say

like a dark bread, like a dark kind of either rye or something like that.

Bread.

Yeah, I think that's that kind of a bread-ish.

For the listener, just to let you know that Reggie shut his eyes then and was really imagining that bread for the whole thing.

Yeah, I had to, because I have to be in the restaurant, you know.

Yeah.

Because where we're at right now, it doesn't look traditionally like a restaurant.

It could be a bad thing.

Sure.

I mean, where we're at now,

I think anyone listening to this podcast wouldn't really imagine where we are now.

Wouldn't be able to accurately guess that we're all sitting on beanbags.

Yeah.

In fact, send in your guess, too.

Did you shut your eyes and everything was dark?

So that's why you went with dark bread.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, no.

Well, it was dark at first,

but then I imagined a bread basket.

You know, like when it kind of hovers in front of you and you see some tongs

on top of it, and they're pointing.

They're like, this is the rosemary picata bread.

This is the gooseberry flusnel bread.

So I was imagining the tong pointing.

Yeah.

I was like, oh, I'll take that one.

I'm surprised you didn't pick the gooseberry flusnel bread.

That sounds absolutely delicious.

You know, I just don't want to be that obvious.

Yeah.

It's like I'm going to throw them off.

Yeah, it's very wonky.

Yeah, very wonky.

Yeah, totally.

The snosberries.

Are snosburies I'd actually like to try.

I would finally like to try

because you hear it in the air.

You see it on a bus.

You see it everywhere.

You never get to taste it.

So, yeah.

I'd like to try a lot of the roll dahl foods, actually.

Go to a roll dahl cafe.

I would go there in a second.

Oh, there'd be a lot of confusion because some people go in there thinking they do doll, and then they don't.

Yeah.

They could put it on the menu, rolled doll.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, rolled dolls.

It's like in like some kind of a pancake thing.

It's like there's doll in there.

The Swiss roll effect.

The Swiss.

A rolled doll or just regular doll?

Take it rolled, thank you.

I'm in a hurry.

I have to go.

Okay.

Would you like a doll shooter?

So you want the rye bread, dark rye bread?

Right, dark rye bread.

You want it in in the basket with the tongs?

Yeah, I don't want it presented with it.

I want someone to point at that as a selection with tongs.

Yeah, absolutely.

Point at that for you.

Thank you.

Would you like it warm?

Butter?

I'd like it slightly warm.

Normally I would be like, hey, Dave, I'm a vegan option, but I'm going to go with butter.

Even though, you know, Joaquin Phoenix just did that amazing acceptance speech and talked about just taking cow's milk and just be like, it's mine, bitch, you know,

and being like you know human assholes but i would say like out of the all the products of a cow i don't mind as much the butter because there's worse things so i'll take the butter i was very much looking forward to that speech because i've followed his speeches throughout the awards season yeah right and there's been progressively getting closer and closer towards that kind of stuff yes and i was quite looking forward to i was like now i really want him to win i really you know i wasn't really bothered about him winning i don't wasn't that bothered about joker but i was like i really want to see the speech.

The speech, absolutely.

Well, he's great because you're like, you care about him.

You're like, what is he about to say?

Oh, he cares about so much.

You can feel it, and he's like stammering a little bit.

And he's like, because he needs to get it out, but he still gets it out.

And you're like, it's almost like a mini movie.

Yeah.

You're like, oh, it's like this triumph.

You're like, he did it.

By the King's speech.

Yeah, totally.

You're like, oh, my God.

Yeah, totally.

It's very clear.

It's like the King's speech, but with more references to artificially inseminating cameras.

Oh, my God.

That was the.

Which, you know, no one's ever said during an automation.

I don't think anyone ever, and no one ever will.

This was it.

Unless they're referencing that.

Yes, of course.

It's like, I remember when Joaquin stood up here and said.

It'd be very hard to get it in there again without being accused of ripping him off.

Yeah, totally.

It's like.

I also have a problem with people artificially inseminating cows.

And I know the guy said it, but like, I'd like to bring it up also.

They're going to be handing out awards left and right.

We'll be thinking about artificially inseminating cows at some point this evening.

So we come to your dream starter.

That's where the real meal begins.

Yeah, yeah.

It's going to be a starter you've had from anywhere in your life.

The best starter you've ever had.

Probably a starter from a Ford F-150 pickup, really reliable.

No.

You've just done loads of preparation for a car podcast.

Totally.

Starter from a Blue Jay.

No, I have to close my eyes because you look at the inventory because there's been a few.

I've had like a few meals.

I'd like to encourage the listener to close their eyes at this point as well.

Yeah, yeah, because you guys might be able to see it.

You're like, no, pick that one.

You might all be able to

find where Reggie is in his mind.

Guys, let's collectively use that.

Are you imagining someone pointing at loads of restaurants with tongs?

Yeah, yeah, totally.

It's like it's all tong-based.

All my starters are like, would you like this starter or this starter?

I think I've definitely had some like a mousse bouche type things.

Like, like, I like a starter to be flavorful and small.

So I would say, because sometimes we get starters and really they're just, it's a meal.

It's like a meal before a meal.

That's why I like starters.

Well, okay.

That's why you love meal

making in another meal.

Oh, I see, I see.

Yeah, but then you're probably like playing soccer for like six hours afterwards.

You know me, Reggie.

I'm always playing soccer for six hours directly after a meal.

How do professional soccer players play soccer for six hours?

And they certainly wouldn't do it after they've eaten.

Oh my god.

Yeah.

Yeah, I would say something on like a little Christini or something, like a little flavorful thing.

I don't know what it would be, but

because, you know, starters are weird.

It's a non-starter.

Why do they make you feel weird?

Well, because I know that I should probably just order a meal.

Because I know when I do a starter, I like the idea of it.

It's really cozy.

You're with your friends.

And you're like, maybe we could get it for the table.

But I eat it, and then I'm kind of already full.

And then I'm like, ah, now I have a meal coming.

And then I have to pretend like I'm not full for the meal.

And

that's tough.

That's a lot of acting.

How do you pretend to not be full?

What's the sort of.

You just go like, well, I got to eat this.

That's it.

That's the real thing.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, sometimes

here in LA, you might be going for a meal with a casting director.

And

you go, right, I've got to pretend to be not full.

And then at the end, go, just so you know, I was full for that whole meal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they'll be like, like, oh my gosh, the roll is yours.

Yeah, yeah,

yes, is it Rye?

Yeah, I don't know.

I think that's how you have to do it.

You just have to eat it, and you just have to be like, ma'am, this is my first meal.

I didn't have a starter to you.

Yeah, this is good.

Oh, whoa, boy, I can't believe this.

You know, a lot of that.

But to yourself, maybe.

Or maybe, look at that.

Oh, yeah.

Commenting on the color, the heat, whatever, the temperature.

It all helps.

If you want to, you can just pass on the starter.

We've had guests pass on the starters.

I'm going to go.

I'm going to pass.

Ed will be upset because he's a starter boy and he looks like it's such a waste.

Even when you were circling around Crostini, I was like, that's too small.

Oh,

I thought you was a crostina, never eat it.

Like a little crispy bread thing.

You know, it's a tiny, thin, crispy bread, and then they put things on it.

They put like a tapanard on there or something.

Yeah, I'll put like tapenard or

if you want, I can just give you the crostini and that's it.

Man, maybe I'd do a starter.

Maybe I'd do a crisin.

Yeah, maybe I'd do a crostini with a pureed air sauce.

Yeah,

yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, don't fill up on air, though.

No, no, no, no,

no, no, no,

no, air sauce for sure.

Air sauce sounds like an insult.

Get out of here, you air sauce.

Yeah, yeah.

It's like, I don't know what that is, but the way you said it sounds like it's not supposed to be favorable.

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You check the score and the restaurant reviews.

You check your hair and reflective surfaces and the world world around you for recession indicators.

So you check all that, but you don't check to see what your ride options are.

In this economy, next time, check Lyft.

So, I mean, we've basically done a very, the lightest starter possible.

Yeah.

The closest to nothing we could find.

But still something.

Yeah.

The main course.

Oh, yeah.

It's a closing.

It's going to be another pass.

All you have is a bit of bread, and then at the end, you just pass.

That's all I need.

Some rye bread, and I'll be going home.

Thanks, guys.

Gosh, that's a tough one.

But I would say probably

I've had good high-protein pasta before, you know, like a quinoa pasta.

So I'd do like, maybe I'd do, yeah, like a quinoa pasta with

maybe an olive oil with some nice sauteed veggies in there and maybe some marinated

protein of something like tofu or

tempeh or seitan or something like that.

Now, where did you go there, Reggie?

Yeah.

Where did that go?

Yeah, where'd your eyes be shut for a long time for that whole monologue?

I went to Krimbley Hill.

What's Krimbley Hill like?

Krimbley Hill is great.

It's a wonderful area.

It's in Pretoria.

It's where all the Predators hang out.

And they do a lovely quinoa pasta.

They do amazing quinoa pasta, guys.

Yeah, I don't know.

It's probably a restaurant around there, I would guess, somewhere.

Yeah, a great restaurant.

You have to drive to, it's in the countryside.

Just outside of Krimbley Hill.

It's amazing.

It's great.

And it's, yeah, where the predators hang out.

What kind of predators?

It's in the aliens or?

Yeah, like aliens.

Yeah.

They're all just hanging out and say,

oh, that looks good.

That's a very good impression.

Yeah, thank you.

It is.

Oh, that's great.

Now,

did you just discover you could do that?

How long have you known you can do that for?

I just, I think I've known it for a while.

I think because I love cats.

Yeah.

And that's part of that.

That's the purring mechanism.

But you just slow it down, and that's a predator.

Right.

So it's just you take a cat, you slow it down.

Yeah, take a cat, slow it down.

Cat purr, slow it down, predator.

Yeah, you don't take the cat itself and slow the cat down.

No, you could try to.

Yeah, you invent a technology to actually slow down a cat, which no one cares about that part of the technology.

They just want to see a cat slow down.

Yeah, so you do that.

And when you do that, yeah, it's like you get the predator sound.

That's how they got the predator sound.

They invented a technology to slow down a cat when they're purring.

That's it.

Do you own a cat?

No, I want to.

You seem like a cat guy.

I like meow heads.

Yeah.

They're cool.

They're just like, they don't give a fuck.

They have that blank look on their face.

Yeah.

And that's what's appealing to me.

You're like, you move them, you move them, you like shake them around and stuff, and they're just always just like...

just a straight cat face, you know, all the triangles, you know, and the eyes.

And they're just like, eh.

And you're like, how about this?

How about this?

You're like, no, I don't know.

So, I enjoy that.

The triangles of the eyes.

Yeah, just moving them around.

Triangle nose, triangle mouth.

You know, there's so much triangles going on.

The triangle ears.

Yeah.

There's big triangles.

Do you see everything in shapes?

Yeah, almost.

Anything that has a shape, I'll see it.

Oh, yeah.

You'll see it in there.

It doesn't get past you.

Quick test, those windows?

I call those rects.

You sort of what?

Rects.

rects yeah just like some standard rects rectangles yeah

going on the type of angles rect yeah yeah what about ed what shape am i oh geez hume hume yeah fair hard hume nice hume shape

it's good what about the great benito oh geez uh probably

like a guru yeah

he is our little guru guru he's our little podcast guru yeah he's like making magic happen.

Closest thing to a genie in your life.

Yeah, that's true.

Well, I mean, apart from, yeah, I mean,

sorry, guys.

Hello.

Oh, bye.

What kind of people are in the restaurant that you imagined in Krimbly Hill?

What kind of people are sitting around there?

There's some people that are having light laughter, and there's people that look like they should be assholes, but then

when you really

listen, you're like, oh, no, they're just having a really great conversation.

And I was wrong.

Right, okay.

So there's a lot of that.

Like where you're like, oh, those people are probably asked.

Oh, no, they're not.

They're actually, oh, that's cool.

So there's a lot of those people.

They look like you're supposed to be, you know, disgusted at them or disappointed in them.

Yeah.

And then they end up surprising you.

That's nice.

Always nice to be surprised.

It really is.

It just lets you know that there's more to life than, you know.

Life.

Yeah, it's more to life than life.

Get that on a t-shirt.

We went for breakfast this morning and there were some fun people in the restaurant, weren't there, James?

There were.

There was a lady who me and Ed were sitting there having breakfast, and Ed went to the bathroom and he came back and he was so excited about having his meal because it's a place Millie's where Ed Ed's been before.

Yeah, he likes it.

I like it very much.

I did a little dance on the way back from the bathroom.

Did a little dance?

I was just doing a little food dance because I was so excited about my eggs.

Really?

And then the old lady saw me and she's like, You like dancing?

She was very loud.

Wow.

Why aren't you dancing?

You like dancing, do you?

Oh my god.

And then she looked at me and went, Why aren't you dancing?

Your body's dancing.

You're not gonna dance.

What the hell?

We were very polite to her, but then she just kept, she just go, How old are you, Charl?

We told her, she was like,

22, 23?

James went, no, I'm 35.

She went, you look real young.

You almost look like

something wrong with you if you look that young.

You're 35, you got a problem, and you're 35.

You look 22!

You gotta be sick!

I'm from Chicago!

Oh my god.

This is a real woman.

Yeah.

Real woman.

She's really missed.

She's probably still close to here.

She can't have got far.

Okay.

Let's find her, obviously.

At one point, she went, I'm from Chicago.

We got a good sense of humor.

LA humor.

Me!

Oh, my lords.

I'm pretending to be sick on the floor.

Chicago humor.

Yeah.

Okay.

I liked liked her.

She sounds like a delight.

So that was a surprise.

That was a surprise.

It was a nice surprise, yeah.

So that's the sort of person who was in our restaurant.

That's a great restaurant.

But she wouldn't be in Cremley Hill.

Do you want to invite her to the meal in Cremley Hill?

Cremley is like a little bit, it's hard to get into.

Yeah, okay.

Will this sell it to you?

My favorite part of it was when I had my back to her and I heard her go, Cool, dude, real cool, I'm cool.

And then turn around and she'd put a pair of shades on.

I'll be sitting there going, I'm cool.

She'd grab the man came back from the bathroom because she didn't know.

She was like, Your sunglasses are cool.

Yeah.

She had sunglasses on.

She's like, I'm cool, dudes.

So she's like an outward thinker.

Yeah,

yeah, yeah.

I like that.

She's like, I like this.

This cabbage is really cabbage-y.

This plate and hold stuff.

Yeah.

She was great.

At one point, a man who was clearly a waiter just walked past.

She went, Do you work here?

He went, Yeah, she went, okay.

She had no questions for that.

That was the end of the questions for him.

So she's at the door of Krembley Hill trying to get in.

So you can just hear her in the distance going, but I don't want to come in.

I'm from Chicago.

Why has he got his eyes closed?

What is this, a gate?

Okay, well, that's good to know.

I'm glad she's out there.

Yeah, she's out there.

She's going to get in eventually.

Yeah.

She's the type of person that just ends up getting in someplace.

Yeah, I think so.

Just like suddenly she's like, oh, no, I'm in here.

And you're like, what?

How did you get in here?

I don't know.

Have you chosen for your main course something that is genuinely genuinely your like the most tasty, delicious meal that you can imagine, or something that right now you think would be a good choice?

Because he talks about the struggle with food sometimes.

And I have it as well.

It's a struggle between making the healthy choice or really just going for it and knowing you'll feel bad, maybe feel bad about it afterwards, but also enjoying it in the moment.

What names do you call yourself?

Because Ed.

When Ed gets angry, he calls himself names out loud round the flat, right?

Yeah, love that.

On this holiday?

What are some of the classics you've called yourself so far there?

Oh, a fat monster.

Yeah.

A fat monster.

I've never heard of that before.

But it'll never stop me.

I'll always enjoy the food and then I'll be like, oh, you fat monster.

It's almost just sort of bathing in it after.

Yeah, I'm similar.

It's just like, oh, man, this is so good.

Oh, this is great.

Oh, look, this is a, oh, man.

Oh, oh, God.

What the hell?

What's wrong with you?

Why are you so dumb?

Why are you dumb?

Look how dumb you is.

You see how you feel gross, don't you, right now?

You just big, gross man.

We're going to have to slide across the floor now.

You just gained the 80 pounds.

What the hell's wrong?

You know what the hell's going on?

I don't know.

It's just like this whole like,

like in that moment, you're like, this is the best.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then not too long after, it's just getting in the gap, shortens and shortens the older you get.

It's just like

a millisecond later, you're like, oh, I'm an asshole.

Fuck it.

Who am I?

You know better.

Why did you do this?

God, you're such a dick.

All you had to do was not do that.

And yet you couldn't even do that.

Just like, that's the conversation.

I mean,

you know, it takes practice.

It takes my also, if you like the weeds, if you like the THCs, do you enjoy those?

Do you love those?

I do enjoy the THCs.

Yeah, I've like had a few THCs.

And that sometimes will just turn you into that monster.

It's like the

Tasmanian devil or whatever.

It's just like,

you know,

that's actually what a cat sounds like sped up.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So the meal you've picked, this quinoa pasta with marinated tofu, that's a meal you could eat and then not turn, not immediately turn into the monster.

Yeah, I mean, as long as I didn't eat too much of it.

See, because the problem is also quantity, because I'll be like, it's healthy.

Yeah.

So I can eat a shit ton of this.

I'm just going to have the, I'm just going to eat the fuck out of this.

Stop me.

I have to eat the right amount.

That's my thing.

If I can have a good meal where it's balanced with intense flavor, cool texture, that's satisfying.

And then I don't, because I like it so much, I don't have more of it.

Yeah.

That's like super success.

Because that's like part of enjoying the food for me is not eating too much of it.

Sure, yeah, yeah.

Which is weird, but true.

Well, let's say you you have had a THC before the meal.

Are you still ordering that pasta?

Yeah, I think I would.

I think I would.

I think nowadays I would.

I'd like to think I would.

I mean, because sometimes I'm a burger human, you know, like I really enjoy burgers of all kinds, like real burgers, you know,

veggie burgers, black bean burgers, whatever.

Impossible burgers.

I like impossible burgers, burgers that just not a few years ago were not possible, but now they are.

And

I like like them all, but, you know, a burger is not

the best choice always, especially if you're at a restaurant.

If you're at a restaurant, depending on the situation,

I find that food that you can take bites of with a fork is a little bit more restaurante than a burger.

A burger is just like, you can always have a burger.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Unless it's a legendary.

Sometimes I'll go, okay, if I'm going to have a burger, I'm going to go to Jean-Georges.

You know, or whatever.

I've never done that.

But I'm just saying, like, I'll go to like some crazy super mega expensive.

Because if they have a burger, why would they have a burger?

Unless it's one of the best burgers in the universe.

And in that case, I will try it.

But it's really just an excuse for me to have a burger.

Do you remember having an incredible burger?

Do you remember the best burger you've ever had?

Gosh.

Oh, you know what?

I do.

Sometimes I get a loss for words, but it was.

The eyes didn't even close that.

I didn't have to.

Oh, I had one eye.

One eye.

I was just like making sure it was in focus.

It's like, does my interior mind and the exterior mind, do they match?

I think,

what's the place called?

McDonald's.

No, it's not McDonald's.

Come on.

You guys are a bunch of knuckleheads.

No,

it's that club.

It's the club in, what's that?

Oh, Lalo.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Laylo.

There's a place in, I forget what area of London it is, but kind of shortagey.

Maybe.

No, that's wrong.

Anyways, there's a place called Laylo.

It's like a kind of like a Soho house style place, but you can just go in and have dinner there.

And they won best burger, like, I think it's like two years ago or something

in London.

And I was like, well, we'll see about that.

And I had the burger, and it just blew me the fuck away.

It was insane.

And they explained like how they use three different types of meat and the seasoning.

And then they cook it, but then they steam it

towards the last end of it to finish cooking it.

But the steaming it makes it really super juicy.

It was crazy.

And the bun that they, I mean, I had it and I couldn't believe it.

And it wasn't big.

That was my other thing.

It was not, I don't like those giant, you know, those burgers where you have to squash them?

For some reason, people think, like, hey, if it's a burger, it's got to be really fat and you can't put your mouth around it.

It's got to fall apart and you've got to look like an animal.

And this is just like, well, here's a delicious burger.

And I could pick it up with both hands and take

normal bite out of it.

It was amazing.

That really blew me away.

Is that a nightclub, did you say?

Yeah, it's also a nightclub.

It's like they'll have they'll have shows there.

There's a really tiny, it's all like, it looks like, it's all done in the decor of like LA in the 1940s.

Right, okay.

A lot of rich like

velvets and things like that and very beautifully appointed, a lot of attention to detail.

And so downstairs, there's like a little performance area, then the main floor is a restaurant, and then there's an upstairs kind of party room for cocktail parties, and then above that, there's another party level or whatever.

And it's a members' club, but you can also be invited there.

You can get a dinner reservation.

But it's small.

It's a small, tall building.

Nice.

It's great.

I was really blown away.

I'm glad I can remember a burger.

Because usually I'd be like, be like, what's your favorite burger?

I'd be like, oh, I've had a,

I don't know why, but that's the one I can just go, boom.

Yeah, it's great.

Also, there's the point there during that where you were trying to remember and you went, where was it?

Yeah, yeah.

And there was that.

And for the listener, I'm not even going to tell them what happened.

No, no, no.

No, I'm not going to be able to do that.

I'm not going to let them believe that you were just in your head.

You guys are just going to have to access it from the general human memory.

As I'm describing, just close your eyes and you'll go there.

It's easy.

Jeez.

There's a place in London that I've never heard of.

I've never heard of it either.

I live in London, so

I get to actually go and do that in my own time now.

That's good.

Yeah,

I think it's the same chef there, and they probably have the same recipe.

But yeah, go there and let me know what you think.

I'll seem it at the end as well.

It reminds me of in The Simpsons when Principal Skinner's cooking for Superintendent Chalmers and tells him that he's making steamed hams.

Do you remember that?

No, no.

Steamed hams.

Very funny.

Which means he sets the kitchen on fire.

Yeah.

And

I don't know why he says steamed hams now.

It's very funny.

But it's like,

he tells him he's making steamed clams.

And then but that messes up.

And he has to go out and get crusty burgers, gives him the burgers, and he says, oh, we said we're having stinged clams.

He goes, I said steamed hams.

But stinged hams, even though they are clearly grilled,

it's a very funny episode.

If no one else remembers it,

here I am.

It is

an entire episode of The Simpsons.

The podcast descends into, and this happened on The Simpsons.

Yeah.

Remember when this happened on The Simpsons?

This is the Simpsons record.

Oh, you're talking about The Simpsons, right?

Jessica,

OJ.

So your side dish.

Now.

Yes.

Will you have a side dish?

You didn't have a starter?

I would have a side dish.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'd probably put a dish on the side.

I'd do a salad.

I'd do a salad.

I'd do like a powerful,

not too strong dressing, very light dressing, but a good, powerful.

That's also chopped up enough.

I don't like it when there's giant leaves above me.

And like they're like, here's an entire leaf.

I mean, I get it.

They're like, this is the whole plant.

But

I kind of like it when it's already, you can kind of already eat it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'll be folding a leaf into my mouth.

Yeah, I don't want to be doing it.

It's hanging off the plate as well quite often, just like a whole leaf hanging off the plate.

And you've got to eat the half on the plate first and then sort of push everything else back down onto the plate.

Yeah, you want it chopped up, like sort of half-chewed, really.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pre-chew Charlie's.

Yeah, yeah.

Pre-chew Charlie's.

That was a sketch on SNL.

Oh, yeah.

It's really gross.

I can probably imagine what it was.

Yeah, you don't need to.

Guys, don't worry about it.

Don't look it up right now.

Don't hit pause and go look up that bit.

You're not going to like it.

What kind of a dressing is this light dressing?

Because

Ed likes dressing on salads.

I do.

I don't.

You don't like dressing?

Well, I don't do it because I'm only ever eating a salad because I'm trying to be good.

And I think, well, why am I going to put a load of sugar on top of it?

So then I just don't, I just try and have a salad that I don't enjoy as much as possible.

Do you think dressing is sprinkling sugar on top of it?

In my heart, yeah.

Yeah.

If you make your own dressing, though, you just do a bit of olive oil, a bit of mustard, a bit of vinegar.

Yeah, that's all you need, salt and pepper.

That is all you need.

And it's super low calorie, too.

Yeah.

There's a little bit of a little bit of oil.

Sometimes I'll just do

what do they call that?

Sherry vinegar?

Is that what it is?

The red.

Yeah, so I'll just do that sometimes.

I just put a little bit of that.

And also, here's another thing.

I like eating salads with my fingers.

Oh.

So, I mean, and that means that there can't be a lot of dressing on it.

So I don't like getting my hands messy, but I'll just, oftentimes I'll just take a bunch of leaves and they'll be in a bowl, and then I'll ask for a dressing on the side, and then I'll just dip the leaves into the dressing because I like picking the leaves up just my hands.

Eating the salad with your hands.

Yeah.

How many restaurants have you been removed from in LA?

Eight.

Yeah.

But you're eating your pasta with knife and fork, then setting them down, and then getting your hands in the salad.

I'm not saying that's what I would do for this meal, but I'm just saying, as an interesting tidbit of information generally,

I do enjoy eating because that way I control the dressing.

Yeah.

And then I think of it more as like potato chips.

Like a bag.

Like I'll get like a big bucket of pre-washed salad.

You know, I'll rip it open.

I'll be like, these are my potato chips.

You know, like,

isn't that funny that I think of them this way?

We could put this salad in a potato chip bag if you want.

That would be great.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, salad chips.

You know, what's your favorite flavor of potato chip that you would want on the outside of the bag and then just have a salad inside?

Pretend like you're eating it with the salad in it.

Yeah, that's important.

I would say,

oh, gosh, that's a tough one.

I guess I would say maybe

in the UK, you have like incredibly, yeah, such a variety of flavors.

Chicken-flavored chips, ketchup-flavored chips, which you'd think would have been an American invention, but it's not.

We did that.

It's like, we don't like ketchup.

Now we do like ketchup.

You know what?

Fuck it.

Let's put them on chips.

American chip makers must have been like, how the hell did they get there before us on that?

Must have had a meeting that morning.

Okay, guys.

I don't know if you've seen the news, but we're getting outdone by a bunch of fucking bricks.

Oh, my God.

I mean, it's like, yeah, you guys are light years ahead in the chip department.

I mean, the flavor is insane.

It's like tarragon peanut butter.

I would eat that.

Yeah, that's great.

Tarragon's peanut butter.

It's like, no, it sounds crazy.

That's how it all starts.

It sounds gross, but it's really good.

We have competitions in the UK to come up with new crisp flavors and stuff like that, where they're just like walkers every now and again will be like, you can name our next flavor.

Just make it whatever you like.

And then the public are like, oh, I want it to be like jam and chutney and crisp flavour.

Yeah, like crisp flavour crisps.

And prawns.

Yeah,

there's always one guy at the backseg and prawns.

And prawns.

Don't forget prawns.

We know, Larry.

You come here every time, Larry.

Prawn name.

No prawns.

We've already prawn cocktail, Larry.

You know that, Larry.

You're eating a bag now.

I'm welcome.

We know.

Larry, stop.

You've always had a very good British accent.

I've got to say,

it's very much one of your skills, Reggie.

Well, thank you very much.

I'm sure being a part of this podcast.

I mean, you're hanging out with Corden now.

You must be even hone it even more.

Well, you know, it's tough.

It's tough with Corden because, you know, I don't really, if someone's like, do a dialect, I can't really do a dialect.

It's just, I just kind of go into it and then it morphs between different dialects, you know?

Because, you know, sometimes like, like you know people are surprised like oh it's not always can't some accents say can't and some you know so it's all over the place so I can't really do it that way but when I start if I start usually it'll evolve and be like oh that sounds oh that's pretty close you know oh that's or a London accent yeah or you've been exposed to multiple accents and it's like a washed out you know but yeah

so you need to be in a character like the guy running the crisp flavor

if he's talking like this or whatever you know he's got guy's kind of speaking like this out the back of his throat, right?

And he's talking like that, like, that's one way I can feel like I can get inside the suit, you know, zip it out and just have a great time.

But, you know, oh, you know, there's always this way of speaking, and you know, it's very fun to talk like this and talk to your neighbor and your mates and just say, hey, what's going on?

It's great, it's really good.

But if someone was like, you have to do an impression of James Corden,

I couldn't do it.

That would be harder.

Yeah, I couldn't do it.

I mean, unless I'm in the the room and I hear him say a phrase, like, I have like, there's probably like a 30-second

absorption buffer.

Yeah.

So someone does like,

I'm like, blah, blah, blah.

And they're like, whoa, that sounds just like, and they're like, oh, yeah.

And then like, I'm like 20 seconds later, do it again.

And I'll be like,

now damn.

So the salad and the salad.

In the crisp bag.

Yes, in the crisp bag.

Yes, yes.

Which is very molecular gastronomy, by the way.

Yeah, prawn-flavored crisps.

Yeah,

in a prawn-flavored ketchup tarragon peanut butter crisp bag.

You check your feed and your account.

You check the score and the restaurant reviews.

You check your hair and reflective surfaces and the world around you for recession indicators.

So you check all that, but you don't check to see what your ride options are.

In this economy, next time, check Lyft.

so your favorite drink to go along with this whole meal your drink we'll give you free refills if you want something like that i would probably say an iced black tea

oh yeah with lemon with a bit of lemon in it

is that for the old fruit so you can you can sing on stage yeah yeah yeah it's so i can eat and immediately sing that's what i'm talking about the meal you had yeah oh yeah yeah That's obviously what we're going to make you do it.

Well, I got paid for it.

So, yeah, just in case I have to sing, I might as well keep it light.

But I just enjoy the flavor of a good iced tea.

Where nearby here would you go for a good iced tea?

Do you do your own?

No, I wish I...

I'm not that.

I can't.

I refuse.

No, I...

You know, I like this tea called tejava.

It's like T-E-J-A-V-A, I think.

They just nail a perfect tea flavor.

It's great.

And it's in a glass bottle.

It's great.

So that's my favorite iced tea.

In a glass bottle?

Because it's on the store, not the health.

Store.

A health food store generally, or a store that takes pride in what it sells.

You'll find a Tejava.

Here's a question that we always ask people who choose iced tea.

Okay.

Have you ever met iced tea himself?

I have, actually.

I did his podcast once.

Right?

Yes.

I did his podcast in New Jersey.

I think is where it was.

I drove out to New Jersey.

Yeah.

So weird.

It was a weird.

God, that was weird.

He lives kind of in a place that you would think he'd live in.

Not necessarily the building that you'd think he'd live in, but his place.

It's like a condo.

Yeah.

But you go into, it's all like white, like marble floors and pillars and like Greek statue type stuff and like a lot of shiny chrome, you know, that kind of stuff.

It was, it was very weird.

And his wife is like, I forget her name.

With lemon.

You heard it here, folks.

No, it's, yeah, it's, it's like a white palace, like white marble palace with kind of a mafia feel to it.

Yeah.

So I have met him.

Having met iced tea, do you think that iced tea drinks iced tea?

I think he has to.

Yeah.

I think he has to.

I think you don't name yourself that unless you like it.

And I'm imagining that it was probably like porch-based iced tea.

You know, it's like you throw in the bags into a big glass jar you seal the jar with the tags out you know so that they're floating around but the the the lid kind of like locks them in and you just set it on the set it on the porch and hope no one steals it that's how I think where you got it yeah that sounds about right and would you so is there a lot of ice in the cup with the iced tea as well

yeah I'd say that yeah there'd be some like maybe the Yeah, it's tough because you can either do the chipped ice, which is classic that you would get in a diner,

or you get that professional high-density ice, you know, like the craft

drink movement where they get those like super dense, perfectly cubed with like a dimple in it because of the machine or whatever.

They're just like cubes that seem to last forever.

Like, I like that idea, because that way you don't ruin your ratio, the watered downness.

Well, you like shapes as well.

We've already established that.

I do.

I'm a shape.

Yeah, I'm a shapes there.

I'm a shape of shapes there.

I'm a shapey.

So, finally, a dessert.

We arrive at dessert de Serre, which is my favourite course, so I'm hoping that you don't do what you did to Eggstar and pass

an air-flavoured ice cream.

Oh, if there's an air-flavoured ice cream coming around the corner,

you're in trouble.

I want to flip out.

A long time ago in 1773, 1773,

there was a machine that was invented by Lord Byron James, who was quoted once saying, help me with this.

And it's really in his honor.

No, I don't know.

I would say,

I love chocolate.

I think that chocolate to me is.

When I was a kid, I had a saying: I said, if it ain't chocolate, it ain't dessert.

And it's still true to this day.

Like, when people are like, I have this wonderful, this is a tangerine mango, whatever, puree, apple, sauce pie.

I'll be like, yeah, that's interesting, but that's not really, that's not dessert to me.

Or even like in elementary school where people were like, you want a nerd?

How about a sour patch kid?

I'm like, what the fuck are you guys?

Stop fucking around and just eat some fucking chocolate.

If it ain't chocolate, and it ain't dessert.

Yeah, that's that's how it is.

When you say that now, do people go, oh my god, are you the, if it ain't chocolate, it ain't dessert kid.

I remember you.

Well, that's kids.

Oh, you're that kid, eh?

Yeah, I am.

You're one of it.

So I would say a chocolate mousse is

very nice.

I like a chocolate mousse.

I like a raw chocolate.

Raw chocolate mousse is really good.

It's white, refreshing, not too sweet.

I like that.

Sometimes I enjoy a good,

you know, my favorite absolute chocolate dessert, if I could have it and it wasn't so terrible, would probably be German chocolate cake.

What's German chocolate cake?

Well, it's German.

Und.

No,

it's a basic chocolate cake, but it's layered with coconut frosting.

And I think they use like, I think it's a lot of brown sugar because it's a very brown-looking coconut frosting, like a dark beige or something like that.

And a lot of coconut

chocolate.

It's very simple.

And sometimes it can be

not soft.

It can be like almost like the frosting is a little bit has a has a density to it that

yeah, it's it's a great that's that sounds really good.

That does sound very nice.

I'm imagining like Matilda chocolate cake, yeah, sort of you know this.

Yeah, Bruce Bogtrotter eats Bruce Bogtrotter.

That's what I'm Bruce Morgan.

Morbo doll food.

We're back in the

doll food, yeah.

I someone actually did make me um Bruce Bogtrotter chocolate cake.

They got the recipe online, and uh, then my friend Joy made it, and it was huge, it was massive, And she said, that's going to make you feel sick.

But gave it to me anyway.

Yes.

In Tupperware, because I was going on tour, and I ate it really quickly, and it did make me feel very, very sick.

Yeah, you were warm.

But then you don't really feel like Bruce Bogtrotter unless you really

feel sick.

And feel like you're going to be sick.

You just feel

a pretty focused attention to health.

Yeah, that's all I felt.

I felt like, oh, I'm going to die now.

Yeah, it's like, this is kind of an emergency.

Eating the bowl trotter cake.

Yeah.

I think those recipes must be, I mean, that recipe is online.

There must be loads of rolled doll recipes online.

Yeah, there's probably a recipe for rolled doll.

Rolled doll.

Yeah, if it send us your favorite rolled doll recipes right here.

P.O.

Box 755-323-728.

We'll be right back after these messages.

Read your order back to you now, Ready.

Sure.

What I'm tempted to do is see if you can remember it.

Yeah.

okay, I could do it.

Water.

What water did you have?

Flat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's still water.

Yeah, it's still water.

It's still water.

Frack is flat.

Yeah, it's still water.

Pop it up to a bread.

What did you have?

I took bread.

What kind of bread?

Dark rye.

Yeah.

Yeah, doing well, sofa.

Stop butter.

Star butter.

Still with his eyes open as well, by the way.

A non-starter.

Non-starter, but then we pushed you and you said you would have.

Oh, geez.

Hold on.

Starter.

Oh, I'd have a

Christini.

Yeah, yeah.

Christini with an air air sauce.

Yeah, with pureed air sauce.

Pureed air sauce.

Main course.

Main course was a quinoa pasta with sauteed vegetables and marinated tofu.

Yeah, and olive oil.

And olive oil, yes.

From

Crimbly Hill.

From

Crimbly Hill.

Yeah, that's right, Crimly Hill.

Yeah.

That's where the restaurant's located, yes, Crimble Hill.

Side dish.

Side dish was and salad with dressing on the side.

How would you like it served?

Oh, in a crisp bag

that was flavored.

It was a peanut butter, a prawn,

ketchup,

tarragon.

Yeah, yes, yes, yeah.

So you're going to eat that with your hands?

Uh-huh.

Yep, hands, yep.

Your drink?

It was an iced tea with a professional ice cube.

Black tea.

Yes.

With some lemon.

You live with the lemon.

Yeah, lemon.

From De Harbour.

Yeah, from De Jevre.

And your dessert?

Did you decide it would be German chocolate tea?

I think we'd have to be.

I think you've done you've been really good for the whole meal.

I'll tell you what, because it's a dream restaurant and I'm a genie, I can make sure that this chocolate cake tastes as good as it always does, but it has zero calories in it, and you n don't feel any regret afterwards.

Well, then I would love to have the cake from Stuttgart.

Yeah, I take all of that away from you, all the guilt, all of that away from you.

The German chocolate cake, although it's interesting that it's a German chocolate cake and it's got coconut in it, which arguably wouldn't exist in Germany,

but somehow it got labeled German chocolate cake.

If there were coconuts in Germany,

I would imagine there never would have been a Second World War.

No, no, no, not at all.

The Germans were just upset that they didn't have access to coconuts.

We've never had anything tropical.

Yeah, yeah, let's create all this trouble for the world just so you can get a coconut.

Thank you very much for coming to the dream restaurant, Reggie.

It was a total, as they would say in Israel, it was a total chalom.

Thank you, Reggie.

Are you experiencing your mineral blast yet?

My mineral, oh, yeah, my mineral blast.

Yeah, I have been.

I have been tough this whole time.

Yeah, mineral, because minerals don't.

A mineral blast, it's still an elongated experience.

Sure.

You know, like most things are, like a sugar is a blast.

Yeah.

You're going to get punched in the face.

Minerals, their version of blast is like over an hour.

It's a slow blast.

Thank you, Reggie.

Thanks, Reggie.

And thank you.

Thank you, Reggie Watts, for that wonderful menu.

And Reggie.

Thank you for not saying Rye Vita.

Oh, if he had said Rye Vita, it would have broken my heart.

He said rye bread, but that's not Rye Vita.

When he said rye bread, I was ready.

He said, I would like some rye.

I was like, uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

James was so nervous, he was gripping the corner of his bean bag.

I was gripping that bean bag so tight, beans were popping everywhere.

It was our first ever episode recording on bean bags, and you know what?

I liked it.

Yeah, it was nice.

I thought they were very good bean bags.

You just drop into them and then they formed around your body real nice.

It wasn't like you hit the floor from no no there's not enough beans to support you yeah good good it formed so much around james's body that when he left it was still attached to him he's still it's still wrapped around him now still wearing it right now

like a little turtle and it's very warm in la as well you shouldn't really be wearing a little turtle bean bag back no but a lot of people have you know i'm thinking maybe like the casting directors for teenage mutant ninja turtles would be walking around and they'll see me and be like that kid he's got something there's a chance there's a chance

so uh if you like reggie uh which i'm sure you do already he's brilliant.

Check out his music, check out his comedy.

He's got a Netflix special called Spatial available now.

Go and have a little look at that.

But for now, check out our stuff as well at Offmenu Official on Instagram and Twitter, offmenupodcast.co.uk on the internet website, sort of thing.

Thank you very much for listening.

We'll see you again sometime soon.

Goodbye.

Bye.

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